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this is an adc warning the crimes you're
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about to see are true only the names
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were changed to protect the ignorant
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[Music]
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do
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[Music]
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tonight you'll see the little old lady
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from pasadena tell her secret you'll
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also go inside a dumb criminal with
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x-ray footage and the purse snatchers
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who don't get the picture
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all this and more on america's dumbest
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criminal
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[Music]
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welcome to america's dumbest criminals
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i'm daniel butler the old saying
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wherever you go there you are applies
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even more to persons of below average
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intelligence who are engaged in criminal
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activity
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keeping that in mind
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join us as we open the files on
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america's dumbest criminals
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first up a routine traffic stop gets
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drug through the mud
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another officer had stopped this vehicle
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took the driver to jail for dui
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well me and this other officer we're
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waiting around for
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a friend of this females to come pick
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her up
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to take her home i looked
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at the female and there was another
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officer standing beside her she
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bent down and she was picky
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picking up a plastic baggie from the
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cuffs of her pants leg
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and she came up and put it in between
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her breasts
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and me another officer looked at each
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other and asked each other did you see
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that yeah i saw that i could notice that
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she started getting real fidgety well
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about that time this girl takes off
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running so as i start past that officer
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when he's running i mean i was laughing
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the whole time i mean i just knew she
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had nowhere to go
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so i had planned to
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tackle her as we hit the edge of the
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roadway on the other side
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well there was a big old ditch there
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and i mean she as she
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get that debt she lost her balance and i
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mean just like
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a 747 with no wheels just plowed into
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that grass and as we stood her up
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there's several baggies of marijuana
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right there on the ground
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so i need to say
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she went to jail for that
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abc quiz number 296 a teenage bank
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robber in los angeles attempted to
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divert attention from her face by
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wearing something
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what did she wear
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was it
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a
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groucho glasses
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b
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rabbit ears or c a see-through blouse
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with no bra
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the correct answer is c but we feel like
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any article of see-through clothing
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would have done
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next up annetta nunn helps us slip into
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something more comfortable
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i was working in the jail and had to
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search her you know somebody brought in
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from the outside and you kind of get in
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the routine sometimes or searching
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people she was an older lady not like
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one of the young ones running the
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streets and i ran my hand up and
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said maybe i felt something i ran my
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hand back up the leg and like tapped and
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hitting the handle of it you're gonna
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say man
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is there a gun in there
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yes there is young lady
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but
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don't tell anybody
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yeah but don't tell anybody you know it
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was fully loaded
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well it's just for protection
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protection well everybody's packing heat
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nowadays
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including
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brownie
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[Music]
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now actual hidden surveillance cam video
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of a drug deal going down
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you know every time an undercover
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narcotics officer does a video of a drug
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deal he sort of feels like a hollywood
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director so now let's look at the making
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of
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dumb dope deal
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starring
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dumb doper
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directed by
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undercover cop
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okay cue the officer action
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good people all right let's get the deal
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going don't look at the camera let's see
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the drugs quickly please
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gosh what is this towel where did you
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get this talon look if you gotta scratch
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your butt move to the side thank you
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like guys can we speed it up huh can we
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just pick up the pace no no no all right
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all right slow it down or split the
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difference
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get him out oh my god what is that the
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continental divide what's he doing look
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at his hands and the size of tractors
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he's right in front of the camera
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someone moved the big guy can can
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somebody get the big guy out of the
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camera
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thank you
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thank you finally
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all right can we take it again people
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from the top take two
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[Music]
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allison doula recalls an unexpected
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encounter with a back door man two of
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the fugitive deputies
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were trying to get this guy out of the
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house so one deputy's at the front door
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knocking on the door and of course the
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other two
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walk around the back door and they're
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hiding
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and that guy's front door is still
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knocking on it right all of a sudden
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they see the guy they're looking for
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backing up
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out the back door he's tippy-toeing back
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he runs into the two deputies in the
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back
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somebody's at the front door man but sir
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i think it's for you
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hey hey hey what are you doing here
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how'd you get around here so fast hey
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hey what are you doing
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hey if you're waiting for this guy
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you're backing up
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later on tonight's show the impossibly
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true story of the motorist who was
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running on empty if you're a police
00:06:14
officer active or retired and you have
00:06:16
stories of the dumb criminal in action
00:06:19
please contact us at america's dumbest
00:06:21
criminals post office box 1628 franklin
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tennessee 37065
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you can also reach us on the internet
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and we do compensate officers for their
00:06:33
stories
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[Music]
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burglars burgle bungler's bungle when
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you mix the two you get a despicable
00:06:56
hybrid known as the bungling burglar
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they will take anything that's not
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nailed down or spend hours trying to
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lift what is nailed down
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retired officer david hunter recounts a
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case called me and bobby mcgeek bob has
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been in and out of jails or had been in
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and out of jails when i first met him
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for for most of his life
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so i left the jail
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hadn't seen him for maybe two years
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one sunday afternoon i was backed into a
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driveway
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running radar
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a rattle trap vehicle came down the road
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with wires dragging no tags on it
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whipped into the driveway beside me and
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i could look directly into the vehicle
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it was bob
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from yard sale
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and he had the whole car full of
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speakers from the drive-in movie they
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still had the the name of the driving
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theater stamp
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speakers
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you've been to the drive-in lately
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yeah went to the drive-in today
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and uh pulled away
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pulled the dirt thing right out by the
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wire i'm terribly sorry
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when you go about nine and two times
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uh it was a it was a double feature
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what did you see well that creature fish
00:08:26
you know that swamp thing comes out of
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the swamp eats them cars and then it had
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the
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lizard from nowhere that attacked
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everywhere
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so i got out of the car took him into
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custody for burglary
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this guy had a highly
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in washington dc it used to be against
00:08:48
the law for a taxi driver to be messy
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the law was enacted after one driver ate
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watermelon causing the passenger to wear
00:08:54
these goggles
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and now from david shepler in tampa a
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case we call touchstone
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david was called in to handle a series
00:09:03
of thefts at a major high school
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now alicia we have you at the scene of
00:09:07
the crime i know that money and the
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pager were in this locker and your best
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friend said that she saw you taking this
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money figures i didn't take the money i
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was nowhere close to there i've never
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okay
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okay
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got the money i didn't take the pager
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i want you to place a phone call okay
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i don't need to make a phone call
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take the receiver take the receiver
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and dial 71642
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nine five
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and tell me what you hear
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it's raining
00:09:41
yes and then it baked there was no
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answer and that's all that's it
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alicia you gave me the money i think
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it's time you gave me the page here
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alicia
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be smart on this now give me the pager
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now
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alicia you owe me this pager
00:10:04
our first high school member of the
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witness protection program
00:10:08
now we take you inside the courtroom for
00:10:10
trial and error
00:10:13
from actual courtroom transcripts an
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officer tells of some trunked up charges
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officer you arrested the defendant
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immediately after he robbed the deli is
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that true
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yes ma'am
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and were you in the area of the robbery
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call
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no ma'am i was not could you tell us
00:10:32
then officer how is it that you caught
00:10:35
the alleged criminals so quickly
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uh well ma'am when he exited the delhi
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he fled across the parking lot
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and he hid in the trunk of my undercover
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car
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[Music]
00:10:53
coming up later two brainless wonders
00:10:55
who are still waiting for something to
00:10:57
develop
00:11:02
[Music]
00:11:12
this week on america's dumbest criminals
00:11:16
you'll hear the little old lady from
00:11:18
pasadena tell her secret
00:11:20
x-ray footage inside a dumb criminal and
00:11:23
the first snatchers who don't get the
00:11:25
picture
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all dumb all the time
00:11:28
america's dumbest criminal
00:11:33
[Music]
00:11:43
[Music]
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next up terry osborne of pensacola
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chases a guy off the beaten path i was
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working patrol in a marked unit downtown
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and this guy calls a victim caller
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dispatchers and says somebody just stole
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my car and gave us a description of the
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car and about a few minutes later one of
00:12:04
our other
00:12:05
officers sees the car getting on the
00:12:06
interstate so we get it behind the car
00:12:08
and the car chases on i mean this guy is
00:12:11
really getting it up the interstate and
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he turns west going towards uh alabama
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so we got the city cars involved the
00:12:18
county deputies they join us then the
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highway patrol they join in so we got
00:12:21
deputies and highway patrol and city
00:12:23
please chasing this stolen car towards
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alabama we're calling alabama and say
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look out here we come
00:12:29
trooper got up went up there just as he
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crossed in alabama he stops the guy and
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it turned out he was one of our local
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rhinos
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we place him under arrest
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and we say uh why did you steal the car
00:12:42
and he says officer downtown told me i
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had 10 minutes to get off his block
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so
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he was doing what that officer told him
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to do was get off his beat
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we got a new block for you bobby
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this one's gonna sell
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[Music]
00:13:05
[Applause]
00:13:08
in colorado it used to be against the
00:13:09
law for a pet owner to lose a pet to
00:13:12
avoid prosecution here captain steuben
00:13:14
searches frantically for free willie
00:13:17
and now actual x-ray footage of a dumb
00:13:20
criminal with a big mouth
00:13:23
this case began when a dumb criminal
00:13:25
came into a jewelry store and began to
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look at diamond rings while the clerk
00:13:29
was talking to another customer the dumb
00:13:31
criminal pocketed the diamond ring when
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the police arrived he swallowed the
00:13:36
diamond
00:13:38
of course it was only a matter of time
00:13:40
before nature and the rain took its
00:13:41
course and the stolen merchandise was
00:13:43
returned
00:13:45
[Music]
00:13:46
next up jerry mackintosh tells us about
00:13:48
a dumb criminal who was definitely
00:13:51
running on empty and i saw a car one
00:13:52
morning and
00:13:54
when i passed by the car it was
00:13:56
summertime
00:13:58
and
00:13:58
this guy's riding with his windows down
00:14:00
and i'm riding my windows down and i nod
00:14:01
at him it's like four o'clock in the
00:14:03
morning as we're sitting there red light
00:14:05
and i got the unmistakable wheel for
00:14:06
marijuana so when he pulls off when i
00:14:08
pull off he turns right from the red
00:14:10
light well there's my problem because he
00:14:11
didn't give a turn signal so i got a
00:14:13
right to stop him legally
00:14:17
so i stopped it go up there get him out
00:14:18
you know and i said can i see your
00:14:19
driver's license he gives me his license
00:14:21
pitcher on it address three blocks away
00:14:23
some reason it stopped you she will fail
00:14:25
to stop at this red light back here okay
00:14:28
would you mind if i take a look and i
00:14:29
said do you mind if i search your car i
00:14:31
guess that's all right it's okay okay
00:14:32
great thanks would you mind just
00:14:33
standing right here for me thank you
00:14:34
i'll be right away
00:14:38
and he took off running
00:14:40
and i started to take off running
00:14:42
and so i said wait i've got his license
00:14:46
i've got his car i know where he lives
00:14:48
i know what he looks like
00:14:56
about five or ten minutes later he came
00:14:58
up he said i got a block away and i
00:15:01
thought he's got my license he's got my
00:15:03
car he's got my pictures and i said i'm
00:15:06
a lot quicker than you you got a half a
00:15:07
block away and i
00:15:11
yeah realized
00:15:12
hey but at least he realized what he had
00:15:14
done
00:15:15
was pretty dumb
00:15:17
[Music]
00:15:38
oh
00:15:39
[Music]
00:15:45
a car thief gets away a certain
00:15:47
percentage of the time but the big clock
00:15:49
is always ticking counting off the
00:15:51
seconds until he becomes suddenly stupid
00:15:56
and now a half-baked criminal who
00:15:58
obviously liked twice baked potatoes
00:16:01
a guy had stolen a car and abandoned the
00:16:03
vehicle this guy came by and realized he
00:16:05
was looking at a stolen car so he
00:16:07
figured he could steal it because he
00:16:08
couldn't be arrested for it because it
00:16:10
was already stolen by somebody else
00:16:22
look
00:16:23
i didn't steal that car
00:16:25
oh really no i mean
00:16:28
well maybe just a little okay a body
00:16:30
steal it from somebody
00:16:32
oh yeah
00:16:34
i just powered it that guy
00:16:36
he was the thief
00:16:39
told me i couldn't take him to jail
00:16:41
i didn't do it man i couldn't arrest him
00:16:43
for being in the stolen car because
00:16:45
the car that he stole had already been
00:16:47
stolen by somebody
00:16:48
else yeah
00:16:50
[Music]
00:16:56
in north carolina it used to be against
00:16:58
the law for airplanes to fly over towns
00:17:01
it was also against the law to flush the
00:17:03
toilet unless the port-a-plane was right
00:17:06
under you
00:17:08
join us now as we visit the cavernous
00:17:10
recesses of the criminal mind and
00:17:13
picture this
00:17:14
aaron graham of the louisville police
00:17:16
department told us about a crime with a
00:17:18
photo finish when a woman had her camera
00:17:20
bag stolen in a louisville kentucky park
00:17:23
an officer was nearby and responded
00:17:25
quickly
00:17:32
following the thieves trail the officer
00:17:34
came upon two discarded instant photos
00:17:36
which had not finished their developing
00:17:38
process yet within moments they did and
00:17:41
the criminals appeared right before his
00:17:43
eyes
00:17:47
meanwhile
00:17:48
our two photogenic felons became
00:17:51
convinced the camera was broken didn't
00:17:53
work either
00:17:55
hey let me get you man come on all right
00:17:57
see some hands boys right now on the
00:17:59
ground now get on the ground
00:18:02
now we're down i knew this was a
00:18:04
terrible idea
00:18:06
these are two dark criminals who were
00:18:07
definitely
00:18:08
over exposed
00:18:11
now sam gillier tells us about a room
00:18:14
full of dumb criminals who gamble with
00:18:16
their lives to understand las vegas a
00:18:19
good example would be is during the
00:18:22
hilton fire some years back
00:18:24
there were several floors that were
00:18:26
engulfed in flames at the hilton and in
00:18:29
fact you know there was a lot of loss of
00:18:30
life as a result of that
00:18:32
well when the fire broke out it was in
00:18:34
the upper stories and the casino
00:18:37
downstairs was packed full of people
00:18:39
and they came on to the uh speaker you
00:18:43
know per the fire department this hotel
00:18:45
needs to be evacuated now
00:18:47
so they came on and they very calmly uh
00:18:49
came with the loudspeaker over the
00:18:51
casino everybody in the casino uh we do
00:18:54
have a problem upstairs there is a major
00:18:56
fire there's no reason to panic but we
00:18:58
need you to exit the casino immediately
00:19:02
pause
00:19:03
nobody moves everybody just continues
00:19:06
playing cards they continue with the
00:19:08
poker machines nobody moves they come on
00:19:11
again
00:19:12
ladies and gentlemen please we need you
00:19:15
to exit the casino now
00:19:18
few people start filtering out everybody
00:19:20
still keeps playing a few minutes later
00:19:22
finally they came on and said this is
00:19:25
the last hand you have to leave now
00:19:29
and finally and then the dealers just
00:19:30
shut everything down and finally
00:19:32
everybody got up and left
00:19:34
well we're out of time again we'd like
00:19:36
to thank the men and women of law
00:19:37
enforcement for their stories and for
00:19:39
the outstanding job they do protecting
00:19:41
and serving the public i'm daniel butler
00:19:44
saying don't be dumb don't break the law
00:19:46
or we'll see you next time on america's
00:19:48
dumbest criminals
00:19:51
[Music]
00:20:01
[Applause]
00:20:02
[Music]
00:20:19
uh
00:20:21
[Music]
00:21:05
so
00:21:09
[Music]
00:21:17
so
00:21:29
[Music]
00:21:40
you
