00:00:07
this is an adc warning the crimes you're
00:00:09
about to see are true
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only the names were changed to protect
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the ignorant
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[Music]
00:00:37
tonight on america's dumbest criminals
00:00:39
you'll see a fool and his jewels a crime
00:00:42
that was not well done
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and three lightweights with a heavy load
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these are just a few of america's
00:00:50
dumbest criminals
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[Music]
00:01:01
hi and welcome to the show i'm daniel
00:01:02
butler
00:01:04
we all know that hollywood is famous for
00:01:05
its portrayal of criminals as being
00:01:07
cunning and powerful masterminds of
00:01:10
crime fearless in the face of danger and
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the law their criminals are known for
00:01:14
their uncanny knack of adaptability and
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their skill of last-second escapes
00:01:19
well folks as they say this ain't
00:01:22
hollywood this is the real world of
00:01:25
america's dumbest criminals
00:01:27
our first case was slightly open when it
00:01:29
was closed from foster arnett in
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knoxville tennessee one of our patrol
00:01:34
officers got a call of a burglary in
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progress
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when he arrived on the scene he did a
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cursory examination on the outside of
00:01:41
the house and then he made entry into
00:01:43
the house
00:01:44
searched the entire house and when he
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got to the kitchen
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there was a door that led into the
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garage but it was locked from the garage
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side
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so the officer went outside walked
00:01:54
around the front of the house and saw
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that there was about oh probably a foot
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gap between the bottom of the garage
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door and the top of the driveway
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and the officer got down on all fours
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with his flashlight and as he got down
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to look in
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the burglar was on the inside looking
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out they both both saw each other at the
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same time and it scared both of them so
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badly that the burglar stood up hit his
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head and it knocked him out and the
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officer was able to reach in and take
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him into custody
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the only thing he got away with was a
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lot on his noggin
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[Music]
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in boston it used to be against the law
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for nightclubs to have frog jumping
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contest
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but it was legal to have frog-like line
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dancing
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sergeant ernest burt of birmingham
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alabama was serving a warrant when he
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got a big surprise
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and so one day me and my couple of
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partners we went out to this location
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out in the eastern part of town
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and we got it knocked on the door
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hello how you doing hey how are you
00:02:53
doing fine sir we need to know if a one
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grace reed is here we have a felony
00:02:58
warrant for her arrest nor she does okay
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so when was the last time that you saw
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miss reed and i explained the laws that
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we have to come in and search for so by
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that time my partner was at the back we
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had a big rumble
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looked like something something the wall
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was falling so we thought it was going
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out the back door i'm a problem
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we found out he just female and fell out
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the ceiling almost broke her neck hit
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him sank anything about 280 some pound
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foot stuck up in the air and she looked
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at me and said who are you
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i said i'm the police who are you it
00:03:35
wasn't funny but then it was
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you know hiding in the ceiling so i said
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what you doing up to the ceiling
00:03:41
cleaning up
00:03:44
that's okay then i told her who he was
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and explained to her she was on the
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arrest she was fine we're still checking
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the house
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[Music]
00:03:52
adc quiz number 171
00:03:55
how many inmates in the u.s were
00:03:56
incarcerated per week in 1994. was it
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a
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1602
00:04:04
b
00:04:04
entirely too many or c
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1994.
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the correct answer is a
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1602 which is entirely too many however
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by midweek at least 800 are digging
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their first escape tunnel
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this is actual surveillance cam footage
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of america's dumbest driver
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it's just another quiet night in an open
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all-night convenience store notice the
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car backing into the telephone pole in
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the parking lot keep your eye on him our
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female clerk decides to take a break and
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doesn't realize a kamikaze shopper is
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headed her way
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uh oh oh no he's got it in drive wait a
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minute no no no that's not a
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drive-through window no not yet
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gee do you think this guy was drinking
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let's see that one more time
00:04:53
there's no drive-through window in this
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convenience store
00:04:57
but
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there is now
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remember folks friends don't let friends
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drive through stores
00:05:06
coming up see a dumb criminal who falls
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asleep on the job on america's dumbest
00:05:10
criminals
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[Music]
00:05:19
in our next story we find that the only
00:05:21
thing that makes a dumb criminal
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dominant is having a dumb partner
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here's sleeping on the job one night
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we're working swing shift and we get a
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call to go out behind the
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bank there's a person laying behind a
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dumpster
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so we go out there thinking that it's
00:05:39
probably somebody that's you know
00:05:41
vagrant asleep or something this nature
00:05:43
we pull up in the parking lot and we
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park the car so that the headlights are
00:05:47
on the dumpster and we put spotlights on
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and everything
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and to our bewilderment this head pops
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up from behind the dumpster wearing a
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ski mask and looking at us
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and it's not winter time and so we
00:05:58
get out of the car with our guns drawn
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tell them get their hands up you know if
00:06:01
there was more than one back there and
00:06:02
come out
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so we do a little bit of interrogation
00:06:16
of the kid after giving the rights and
00:06:17
everything and he eventually tells us
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that
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his friend
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and he had worked for a rental car
00:06:22
agency and they knew that the rental car
00:06:24
manager made the night drop every night
00:06:25
at the back of this bank
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and they had been fired
00:06:29
so they were going to get back at the
00:06:30
maryland car manager and they were going
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to rob him
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well the one kid dropped the other one
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off behind the bank
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his biggest complaint his friend had was
00:06:40
he'd been driving around waiting for the
00:06:42
other kid to pull a robbery he was
00:06:43
almost out of gas
00:06:46
well a rental car manager came in made
00:06:47
the night drop and left
00:06:49
and meanwhile this kid's asleep and the
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kid didn't wake up till we pulled up on
00:06:52
the police car and saw him
00:06:54
so the trigger man fell asleep and the
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getaway car ran out of gas and neither
00:06:59
one of the dumb criminals ever saw their
00:07:01
intended victim
00:07:02
this was not a perfect crime
00:07:04
it turns out they didn't pull a robbery
00:07:06
they got caught and they both got
00:07:07
convicted conspiracy to commit robbery
00:07:14
in indiana once your breath leaves your
00:07:16
body it is no longer your property here
00:07:19
we see a state guard inspecting the
00:07:21
impounded breath of 65 winos
00:07:24
and now inside the courtroom for trial
00:07:26
and error
00:07:27
a very professional international drug
00:07:29
cartel was busted by one little old lady
00:07:32
who lived near their warehouse because
00:07:33
of your phone call
00:07:35
the police went to the warehouse
00:07:38
and seized 22 tons of cocaine
00:07:42
with a street value of more than six
00:07:45
billion dollars
00:07:46
the largest drug raid in u.s history
00:07:50
what did the suspects do to give
00:07:51
themselves away
00:07:53
well
00:07:54
i was trying to get some sleep and they
00:07:56
wouldn't quit backing up what do you
00:07:58
mean backing up they wouldn't quit
00:08:00
backing up the the trucks and making
00:08:02
that annoying beep beep beep sound
00:08:06
that's why you made the call well who
00:08:08
could sleep with all that noise all that
00:08:10
backing up and beep beep beep
00:08:18
in ohio it is against the law to
00:08:20
tailgate however it's not against the
00:08:22
law to leap from
00:08:26
annetta nunn of birmingham alabama tells
00:08:28
us about a case we called fooled you
00:08:31
working burglary unit
00:08:34
wearing plain clothes driving a plane
00:08:36
car those criminals know their police
00:08:37
cars
00:08:39
this guy was right across the street
00:08:41
from city hall getting ready to leave go
00:08:42
on the case or whatever and i had walked
00:08:45
through the door throwing my purse in
00:08:46
the car and was about to get in and i
00:08:48
heard somebody say hey
00:08:50
they were standing right up on me he
00:08:51
scared me
00:08:52
throw some rings out of tennessee sure
00:08:54
did take a look at these
00:08:56
see some views huh yeah these are these
00:08:58
here they're not 900.
00:09:00
he opened this little ring case but if
00:09:03
you look at it you know it's a little
00:09:04
five dollar ring from the bargain store
00:09:06
and they've changed the price tags on it
00:09:08
he's got like 900 dollars on him
00:09:11
i say you stole these out of tennessee
00:09:13
yeah but don't let the man see you don't
00:09:14
let the man see you i said okay and i
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held it up he said put it down put it
00:09:18
down don't let the man see
00:09:20
say okay so about this time he he leans
00:09:23
forward and he sees the mobile radio and
00:09:25
the floorboard on the car he says you're
00:09:27
the police i say yeah yeah i'm an
00:09:30
innocent man no i can't really just go
00:09:32
inside and talk about it come on you
00:09:34
ain't got nothing on me i don't know
00:09:36
about that why don't you bring the
00:09:37
jewelry back out let's just let's go get
00:09:39
the jewelry back he said well i'm gonna
00:09:40
go with he said cause i'm gonna show you
00:09:42
just how big a fool you are there's
00:09:43
nothing you can put me in jail for
00:09:46
i said okay come on go with me so we're
00:09:48
going across and i'm trying to think
00:09:49
what can i charge this guy with this
00:09:51
stuff is not real
00:09:52
but when i get in is one of the older
00:09:54
detectives inside he asked me say what
00:09:56
do you have
00:09:57
well it seems to me we have this
00:09:59
ordinance that says you can't sell
00:10:00
inside the business luke without a
00:10:02
license
00:10:05
so i'm sitting there writing up he said
00:10:06
what are you doing i say you going to
00:10:08
jail he said you can't put me in jail i
00:10:09
say yes i can and say don't ever call me
00:10:11
a fool
00:10:14
i know a case we call the mystery of the
00:10:17
flushameter
00:10:20
this device is called a flushometer or
00:10:22
flushometer you see this in most public
00:10:25
restrooms but in new york city you can
00:10:27
see them disappear over 150 flushometers
00:10:30
were stolen in one month a flushometer
00:10:33
retails for about 150 but only brings
00:10:36
four dollars when sold for scrap
00:10:38
one was even stolen from the mayor's
00:10:40
restroom and city hall once again dumb
00:10:43
crime flushes taxpayers money down the
00:10:45
drain
00:10:47
coming up a robbery that turns to rubble
00:10:50
on america's dumbest remedy
00:10:53
[Music]
00:10:58
the next crime may make some men
00:11:00
squeamish because it's painfully dumb
00:11:04
we got a call uh early monday morning
00:11:06
from one of the local businesses said
00:11:07
that the suspicious circumstances we
00:11:09
think we've been burglarized and the uh
00:11:12
the burglar is still on the premises so
00:11:14
the officers responded as an in-progress
00:11:16
call got there with the guns drawn ready
00:11:19
and he gets to inspect and then we find
00:11:21
out what the story is is that this was
00:11:23
early monday morning saturday night
00:11:25
around 11 o'clock or so fella decided to
00:11:27
break into the establishment going
00:11:29
through the roof
00:11:30
and he found a vent up there and he says
00:11:32
hey i can take this thing off and crawl
00:11:34
through their event and get inside
00:11:35
nobody ever know
00:11:37
so he proceeded to do so he took the top
00:11:39
off
00:11:40
got it open
00:11:41
put his feet down through the vent first
00:11:42
and started to ease himself down as he
00:11:44
got so far in he lost his grip and
00:11:47
slipped and when he did his arms went up
00:11:50
over his head
00:11:51
and he slid down the vent which was
00:11:53
centered over a crossbeam
00:12:08
[Laughter]
00:12:14
and when he landed he straddled the wall
00:12:18
with a foot going on each side of the
00:12:20
wall
00:12:22
he
00:12:22
had been there rained on
00:12:25
with his hands in this position
00:12:29
when they cut him out they took him out
00:12:30
on the way out it was very obvious that
00:12:32
a certain part of his anatomy had
00:12:34
swollen up to grapefruit size and being
00:12:36
from florida we know our grapefruit here
00:12:38
so
00:12:39
obviously he had done some damage to
00:12:41
himself
00:12:43
took the fire department to get him down
00:12:44
he had obviously served his sentence
00:12:47
before we even got the call to come to
00:12:49
the burglary
00:12:52
[Music]
00:12:54
[Applause]
00:12:56
in columbia tennessee a man walked into
00:12:58
a building and announced that this was a
00:13:00
bank robbery the only problem was that
00:13:02
this was no longer a bank
00:13:04
fortunately the jail was still a jail
00:13:06
[Music]
00:13:09
and now actual footage of the case we
00:13:11
call please hold the onions on that
00:13:12
burglar the san antonio police and fire
00:13:15
department answered an unusual silent
00:13:17
alarm at a convenience store it seems
00:13:19
they had a dumb criminal wedged in their
00:13:22
kitchen vent
00:13:23
with his sneakers on the grill the dumb
00:13:25
criminal came down the chimney just like
00:13:27
santa but our dummy was a little too
00:13:29
wide to squeeze out oh i think that left
00:13:31
sneakers about time
00:13:33
he must have been a dumb criminal combo
00:13:35
meal because he did come with fries and
00:13:37
a toy
00:13:38
the rescuers tried bringing him out the
00:13:40
way he got in but finally they had to
00:13:43
dismantle the exhaust hood to get the
00:13:45
dumb criminal out
00:13:46
he immediately sat on the warm grill
00:13:48
just warming his buns for a crime that
00:13:50
was not well done
00:13:54
next dusty cutler shows us how
00:13:56
patrolling the parking lot in a large
00:13:58
shopping mall can be more bizarre than
00:14:00
you think
00:14:01
i was sitting in a parking lot at a
00:14:03
local mall doing some paperwork just a
00:14:05
regular report
00:14:07
and when i heard some people yelling i
00:14:08
looked to my left to see what it was and
00:14:11
saw a woman running desperately through
00:14:13
the parking lot
00:14:14
she was a very tall woman dressed in a
00:14:16
nice outfit a dress with high heels
00:14:19
there was two men chasing her and they
00:14:20
were yelling that she had robbed them
00:14:22
she had robbed a store in one of our
00:14:24
local malls and as she was running i
00:14:26
went to call it in on the radio and said
00:14:28
i was going to be chasing a female
00:14:30
through the parking lot at the mall
00:14:32
and noticed that she had hiked up her
00:14:33
dress and she had on a huge pair of
00:14:35
women's underwear that were stuffed full
00:14:36
of clothing and as she ran her panties
00:14:39
were falling off of her because of the
00:14:41
weight of the clothing and i said uh
00:14:43
headquarters i'm chasing a female and
00:14:44
about that time her underwear had fallen
00:14:46
to her knees and i saw she was really a
00:14:48
man dressed as a woman
00:14:49
i started laughing i couldn't radio it
00:14:51
in because i was laughing so hard she
00:14:53
fell to the ground her panties tripped
00:14:54
her
00:14:55
she pulled them off she had fallen and
00:14:57
hurt herself her his self and his
00:15:00
privates
00:15:05
as he got up he kicked off his high
00:15:07
heels and continued to run and i turned
00:15:09
to try and cut him off and he actually
00:15:11
hit the side of my car and went over the
00:15:12
hood and i was able to get out and
00:15:15
eventually handcuff him and then tell
00:15:16
him what i had
00:15:24
[Music]
00:15:25
[Applause]
00:15:29
so
00:15:31
[Music]
00:15:41
here's nashville tennessee police
00:15:42
officer buddy tidwell to tell us about
00:15:44
the thieves who decided to come back for
00:15:46
more and that's when things got heavy
00:15:49
many years ago in a rural area i was a
00:15:51
rookie and there was an unfortunate man
00:15:53
who was robbed he was robbed of his
00:15:55
wallet and the contents
00:15:56
these men at gunpoint had approached him
00:15:58
and demanded his money and wallet and
00:16:01
they took it but apparently they weren't
00:16:02
happy with the amount of money they had
00:16:04
gotten from the man they looked in his
00:16:06
wallet and they found a number of
00:16:07
receipts where the man had purchased a
00:16:10
stereo and a tv and a vcr
00:16:12
and they found a card inside his wallet
00:16:14
that said in case of emergency notifying
00:16:16
it had his wife's name his address and
00:16:18
his phone number
00:16:20
well the robbers called the man in his
00:16:22
house and told him we didn't get enough
00:16:24
money and we want you to take this tv
00:16:26
and stereo and all this nice stuff
00:16:27
you've bought we want you to set it
00:16:29
outside your house in a box and we want
00:16:30
it out there by nine o'clock p.m or
00:16:33
we're coming over and we're gonna do you
00:16:34
and your family in well naturally the
00:16:36
man was terrified
00:16:38
so he called us and we told him to sit
00:16:41
tight and we sent a car right by to get
00:16:43
the man and his family and take him to a
00:16:45
place of safety my partner and i arrived
00:16:47
there
00:16:48
so we went into the man's garage and
00:16:50
looked around we found a large cardboard
00:16:52
box
00:16:53
and uh there were some
00:16:55
stones nearby large paving stones were
00:16:58
nearby
00:17:00
we took the stones and put them in the
00:17:02
box and
00:17:03
we took a roll of duct tape we had in
00:17:04
the car and we taped it
00:17:06
did then we set it out as the robbers
00:17:08
had described and as we stepped back and
00:17:10
looked we thought this would never work
00:17:11
these guys won't be this dumb
00:17:14
and about 15 minutes had elapsed it was
00:17:17
about five minutes after nine we were
00:17:19
ready to give it up and uh the bushes
00:17:21
near the man's house started to rattle
00:17:22
and all of a sudden three guys came out
00:17:24
from behind the bushes and they grabbed
00:17:26
this huge box full of rocks and
00:17:29
we looked at each other and began to
00:17:30
laugh but we as we approached them we
00:17:32
yelled police and stopped and put the
00:17:34
box down
00:17:35
nothing new and they held onto the box
00:17:37
for dear life and they continued to run
00:17:39
with a
00:17:40
200 pound box and
00:17:42
as they they went farther they got
00:17:43
exhausted and they finally just
00:17:45
collapsed with the box and when my
00:17:47
partner and i got there we easily took
00:17:48
him into custody and
00:17:50
uh showed him what was inside the box
00:17:54
he lied to him why would you just shoot
00:17:57
him stupid
00:18:02
i guess you could definitely say these
00:18:03
guys were dumber than a box of rocks
00:18:06
these three were definitely candidates
00:18:08
for their witless protection program
00:18:11
[Music]
00:18:13
in kansas it used to be against the law
00:18:15
to drive into the city without first
00:18:17
walking ahead to warn people but then if
00:18:19
you've ever seen the drivers in kansas
00:18:21
you'd understand why
00:18:23
you know we couldn't have done this show
00:18:24
without the cooperation of the men and
00:18:26
women of law enforcement across america
00:18:29
we'd like to thank them for their time
00:18:30
their dedication and for making our
00:18:32
lives a lot safer and we learned that
00:18:35
cops are just people too
00:18:37
with one exception
00:18:38
they're willing to lay down their lives
00:18:40
for us
00:18:42
[Music]
00:18:54
[Applause]
00:18:58
[Music]
00:19:36
uh
00:19:39
[Music]
00:19:53
[Applause]
00:19:57
do
00:20:06
[Music]
00:20:18
you
