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this is an adc warning the crimes you're
00:00:09
about to see are true
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only the names were changed to protect
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the ignorant
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[Music]
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tonight you'll see a dumb criminal who
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thinks he's lucky
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actual footage of a sting you won't
00:00:43
believe and a rat who gets caught in his
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own trap
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all this and more on america's dumbest
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criminals
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[Music]
00:01:01
welcome to america's dumbest criminals
00:01:03
i'm daniel butler you know as well as i
00:01:05
do that crime of any sort is just plain
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stupid but some criminals stand out from
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the crowd in the depth and profundity of
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their idiocy
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join us now in shaking the rotten fruit
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from the tree of life as we open the
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files on america's dumbest criminals
00:01:22
first up a man with soap in his ears
00:01:24
comes clean and junior takes a bubble
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bath
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initially we got a call a 9-1-1 call
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from a woman who had been out running
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errands and so forth and came home and
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found that her front door had been
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locked from the inside so it was her
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belief logically that someone was inside
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her home
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our officers responded and managed to
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get through the back door at which time
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they found evidence to suggest that the
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back door had been forced open and upon
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entering the house found several
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articles of value vcrs that kind of
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thing in the living room set up in such
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a way that would suggest someone was
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preparing to take him out of the house
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in the course of the investigation we
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found out that what had happened he had
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come in the first time and taken a
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pretty good cash of property from the
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victim's home and then returned for more
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and for whatever reason was motivated to
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take a bath a bubble bath
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and
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became so comfortable and tranquil that
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he fell asleep
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sir
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sir wake up
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sir
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debbie time's over
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we'll take mr ducky with you
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if you got to transport a
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prisoner from the fair oaks area to the
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downtown jail oftentimes their personal
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hygiene can be of a major concern
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especially for two officers in a very
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close quarter patrol car
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[Music]
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abc quiz number 32
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a house burglar in florida was captured
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when the homeowner found the burglar
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still in his home what was the burglar
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doing was he a making one last trip
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inside b struggling with a large tv set
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or c playing video games
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the correct answer is c
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yes he was about to make his high score
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in street fighting
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now an honest but weird criminal
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confesses in admit it
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we had a disturbance call and i pulled
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up to this i think of some kind of
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business or something and
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a guy comes
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don't play dumb with me let's just get
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going okay yeah talk to me
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and uh he wasn't the one that they'd
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called about he had
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gotten an argument with his girlfriend
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somewhere down the street and
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she had fled and called the police
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i know it i did it and now it's time to
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go would you like to have the seat in
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the car
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that
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that was just that's not really unusual
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just a little odd
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[Music]
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and now a story we call thinking and
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driving
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this is what happens when dumb criminals
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think and drive six dumb criminals stole
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a car sped away from the scene and into
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this house the suspect stumbled from the
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car fell over the debris scattered
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around by the wreck and were apprehended
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by the police
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the officers then showed this car to the
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dumb criminals as an example of how to
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correctly park in the garage ironically
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this was the second time in four months
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that this house had been hit by a car
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one dumb criminal said in his defense
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hey if you don't like my driving then
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stay off the
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lawn next darrell price tells the
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semi-naked truth in
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debriefing
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back when i was in robbery robbery
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investigator we had a bank robbery at a
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bank up off south boulevard
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when we arrived we got there we talking
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to the people and
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then we got a call from the bowling
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alley about a tenth of a mile away or so
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that there was a strange person in the
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bowling alley so i rode down to the
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bowling alley and in the laundry room of
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the bowling alley there was a guy
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sitting there with nothing but a pair of
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briefs on
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some tennis shoes and he was just sweaty
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what are you doing down here yeah
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i was out
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jogging and thought i'd come in here to
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cool off
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stand up sir
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i didn't want to look at his briefs but
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he had a huge bulge
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right in the front of his briefs
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sure put your arms inside
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[Music]
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what's that
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it's me
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i'm a lucky guy huh
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so i walked up to him and kind of pulled
00:05:47
it out and it was just stuffed with
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money and all the bank robbery money so
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i mean i knew he was the bank robber and
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you know eventually we got him downtown
00:05:54
and he confessed to the bank robbery but
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you know the only way we could get our
00:05:58
money back was you know after we
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debriefed him basically
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[Music]
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later on tonight's show see our first
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hidden cam dumb criminal recruitment
00:06:12
video
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[Music]
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next up a weisenheimer with no clue gets
00:06:24
identified several times and so we meet
00:06:27
again kirk williams of the randall
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county sheriff's department in canyon
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texas tells of a man who walked in a
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store one morning and paid for his
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purchases with the check
00:06:36
the clerk took the required information
00:06:38
from the man's driver's license and put
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the check in the register
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an hour later the check casher was back
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this time with a knife he made no
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attempt to alter his appearance and the
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clerk had no trouble remembering him the
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clerk also had no problem remembering
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the robber's name and address since he
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had written them on the dumb criminals
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check in the register
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excuse me man
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is yes it is this is the man that was
00:07:01
in yes this
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just in here about two hours ago waving
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a great big old knife i've never been in
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this place in my life yes you were
00:07:09
you're it wasn't two hours ago
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wait one minute just wait wait a minute
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what in this shoe this is you get this
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clown out of here this is his chest this
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is the food
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i hope you rot in jail
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just checking pretty down
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[Music]
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in louisiana it used to be against the
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law to stand in a crowd and scream snake
00:07:39
however it was also against the law to
00:07:40
tie tiny vipers into nuts
00:07:44
next up perry knowles reports on a case
00:07:46
called taxing driver
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well it just so happened i was working
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narcotics back in the mid 70s
00:07:54
and myself and a fellow officer were
00:07:56
working partners we were looking for an
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area up in a housing project to try to
00:08:01
find someone to buy some dope for us out
00:08:03
of there so we could get some search
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warrants together
00:08:06
well we contacted this one individual
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and back then the buy money you used to
00:08:10
buy drugs is what you had in your pocket
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there was no such thing as a fund for it
00:08:15
so we had about 15 16 between the two of
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us and
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this one individual said he could buy
00:08:21
out of a particular apartment
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so we give him the dollars and now be
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sure remember we don't front the money
00:08:28
so get the dope and come back and we're
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gonna watch you all away so don't give
00:08:33
him the money till you get the drugs
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okay that's cool and if you come back
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without the drugs
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you better come back for the money
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it's no problem i mean man i'm with you
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i'm with you so he goes over spends a
00:08:46
little time in the apartment and comes
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back he says they want twenty dollars i
00:08:49
said no and i'm going to give them 20 15
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is our limit
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i said well better still let's just call
00:08:55
it off because we don't have any more
00:08:56
money to invest in it i said let me have
00:08:58
the fifteen dollars back he said well
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they're holding the fifty dollars
00:09:02
he didn't know what he uh
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i know what you said no
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i told you we don't front money
00:09:09
so i told him i said listen i'm gonna
00:09:10
give you about an hour you better have
00:09:12
our fifteen dollars back or we're gonna
00:09:14
put you in jail
00:09:15
that's cool i'll talk to man one hour
00:09:18
i'll talk to me and while we were busy
00:09:20
doing other things an armed robbery of
00:09:23
an individual or cab driver goes out
00:09:25
over the radio
00:09:26
so while we're up there in the area
00:09:28
patrolling around trying to find a
00:09:30
suspect for the robbery
00:09:32
dispatch advises us you have a party
00:09:34
trying to contact you at another
00:09:36
location just a couple of blocks away
00:09:39
so we immediately proceed over there and
00:09:41
there's our informant dressed in the
00:09:42
same clothes put out by the description
00:09:44
of the robbery
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he's sweating profusely he says i got
00:09:48
your money you ain't going to put me in
00:09:49
jail now are you
00:09:52
no no man i just uh i just want you we
00:09:54
could have given you a right and the
00:09:56
same denomination of money that he gave
00:09:58
us back to 15 that's all he took off the
00:10:01
cab driver
00:10:03
what's up man yeah it's all here yeah
00:10:05
it's all here
00:10:07
that's exactly what he was handing us
00:10:09
back i think we're gonna have to take
00:10:10
you downtown
00:10:12
how are you thinking
00:10:13
what you want me to do
00:10:15
he was charged with that robbery
00:10:22
now we take you inside the courtroom for
00:10:24
trial and error
00:10:27
from actual courtroom transcripts a bank
00:10:29
teller gives a detailed description of a
00:10:30
getaway car she didn't see
00:10:33
mrs gray
00:10:35
you did not see the bank robber
00:10:38
after he left the building is that right
00:10:41
no i didn't and you did not see whether
00:10:43
he fled on foot or by automobile
00:10:47
that's right
00:10:48
so how could you possibly have given an
00:10:51
accurate description of the vehicle my
00:10:53
client was driving
00:10:55
the thief took my car
00:10:57
i guess i know what my own car looks
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like
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[Music]
00:11:07
later a small-minded big-time dumb
00:11:09
criminal is just blowing smoke on
00:11:11
america's dumbest criminals
00:11:15
[Music]
00:11:22
for as long as there have been laws
00:11:24
there have been criminals and for as
00:11:25
long as there have been criminals there
00:11:27
have been chowder heads simps and
00:11:29
goobers
00:11:31
j.r johnson remembers the day he met a
00:11:33
dumb criminal in of mice and men
00:11:36
we went to serve a warrant on this man
00:11:38
and we went up and i went up and knocked
00:11:40
on the door my partner was in the car
00:11:43
and i went up and knocked on the door
00:11:45
and uh the man came to the door
00:11:47
you missed a schumann yeah but you know
00:11:49
i got a warrant for your rest you didn't
00:11:51
told him that we had a warrant he said
00:11:53
i'm not going and i said no you're going
00:11:55
and he said well it's gonna take more
00:11:57
than you and i said well wait a minute
00:11:58
let me get my partner out here with me
00:12:00
go get your damn pot i'll kick his butt
00:12:02
too
00:12:03
yeah
00:12:05
and so i went back to the car and i told
00:12:08
my partner that i needed to come up
00:12:09
there and he was a he was a large man he
00:12:11
was about 6'5 and 240
00:12:15
and he walked up and knocked on the door
00:12:18
and man opened the door
00:12:21
you're going downtown
00:12:23
and the man passed out
00:12:28
it's your arrest you pick him up
00:12:35
[Music]
00:12:40
now actual police footage you won't
00:12:42
believe it's called we're gonna get you
00:12:45
we came up with this little sting
00:12:47
operation we called wggy
00:12:50
uh what we did was we wrote typed up
00:12:52
some letters uh
00:12:54
claiming to be a
00:12:56
sports cable company that was coming to
00:12:58
the birmingham area here and that we was
00:13:00
having a party at the civic center and
00:13:03
these
00:13:04
few select people were given an
00:13:06
invitation to come to this party
00:13:08
and
00:13:09
wggy stands for we're going to get you
00:13:14
so that was our acronym for wggy and we
00:13:16
like i said we typed this letter to all
00:13:18
these people and we we instructed them
00:13:20
to bring this letter with them and this
00:13:23
letter had a confirmation number on it
00:13:24
well that was their actual warrant
00:13:26
number and also in there
00:13:28
we stated about the trip to new orleans
00:13:30
that we were giving away and that it was
00:13:32
being provided by we're going to take
00:13:33
you away travel agency
00:13:35
we were also giving away everybody who
00:13:37
came to this
00:13:39
function was given
00:13:40
two tickets to the alabama auburn game
00:13:47
and then the president of our company he
00:13:49
and he signed a letter signed the letter
00:13:51
j l bird if you say that real fast and
00:13:53
what's up actually the jailbird
00:13:57
so we sent these letters out we we we
00:13:59
got into the files of uh you know the
00:14:02
old we had old ones we had new orange we
00:14:04
had a line out the door that went
00:14:06
halfway around the block people waiting
00:14:07
to get in
00:14:10
they're ready now here we go look at the
00:14:11
camera all right so ggg
00:14:14
wise got
00:14:17
wggy has got me did they got you well
00:14:19
then we had a little tags with hello i'm
00:14:21
so-and-so and we put hello i'm john doe
00:14:24
and my confirmation number is this and
00:14:26
we stamped it on them all right
00:14:28
y'all
00:14:34
[Applause]
00:14:42
and he has a little podium he was
00:14:43
standing in front of him saying well
00:14:44
he's glad everybody's here uh before we
00:14:46
give away the trip to new orleans we got
00:14:49
one more surprise to you and when he
00:14:51
said that that was the cue for the swat
00:14:52
team guys to come in and they came in
00:14:54
and we had them surrounded to avoid any
00:14:56
any
00:14:57
unnecessary incidents we all we had a
00:14:59
bunch of people with guns but only three
00:15:01
of them were loaded
00:15:03
we ended up i think like say my captain
00:15:05
said he was going to be happy with 50
00:15:07
arrests we ended up with about
00:15:09
anywhere 250 to 300 arrests wggy has me
00:15:13
do they have you
00:15:14
[Music]
00:15:18
in new york it used to be against the
00:15:20
law to travel by tricycle unless you
00:15:23
wear hells angels forming the dna golden
00:15:25
helix
00:15:26
[Music]
00:15:29
now some gangster wannabes get deflated
00:15:31
in a self-inflicted drive-by
00:15:34
in oklahoma a car load of gang members
00:15:36
out for trouble cruise the streets in
00:15:38
search of their rivals
00:15:40
suddenly they spotted their prey just as
00:15:42
the shooter raised the gun the car hit a
00:15:44
pothole
00:15:49
the ride bounced the gun fired and the
00:15:51
front tire blew
00:16:05
they found the stranded gang members
00:16:07
fighting amongst themselves over the
00:16:08
flat tire
00:16:11
[Music]
00:16:13
[Applause]
00:16:13
[Music]
00:16:19
[Music]
00:16:21
next up brad burris recalls the man who
00:16:23
redefined dumb and getting burned
00:16:27
what was supposed to happen was him and
00:16:29
his landlord he lived in a little
00:16:31
shotgun house a little wooden frame
00:16:32
house
00:16:33
and uh what was supposed to happen she
00:16:35
she was throwing him out she was
00:16:36
evicting him and what he was wanting to
00:16:38
do he went and got him a ten thousand
00:16:40
dollar renters insurance policy
00:16:42
he uh was going to tell all his
00:16:44
neighbors that he's going out of town
00:16:46
for a couple of days and the house is
00:16:47
going to burn down he's going to come
00:16:48
back collect his insurance and
00:16:50
be done with it
00:16:51
well what happened
00:16:53
was uh he's over here and i'm on this
00:16:55
corner over here trying to serve a
00:16:56
warrant his house he parks his car on
00:16:58
the street walks across the lot with a
00:16:59
two five gallon cans of gasoline
00:17:02
and in the back window it's up above his
00:17:04
head luckily for him it was above his
00:17:05
head so he pours the gas in there and uh
00:17:10
i don't know if you know about gas
00:17:11
frames when they sit there for a while
00:17:12
they spread out
00:17:14
well he was going to just throw the
00:17:15
match up there it's going to catch on
00:17:16
fire real easy and he's going to walk
00:17:18
back to his car and leave well it blew
00:17:20
the back of the house off
00:17:22
i'm sitting over there at the front
00:17:22
porch and i hear this boom
00:17:25
i look over and the house is just
00:17:26
totally involved in flames i got an
00:17:28
explosion of 2213 grantland avenue and
00:17:32
so he's got everybody's attention now
00:17:33
i'm gonna need a fire truck and i'm
00:17:35
gonna need an ambulance i get over there
00:17:37
and uh i'm talking to him and he smells
00:17:38
like a pine tree
00:17:41
he's just real strong pine odor short
00:17:43
guy a big guy i think i was terrorists
00:17:45
we uh that we learned harris hatch and
00:17:48
uh and uh i looked in his car and
00:17:49
there's a can of pine air freshener
00:17:51
sitting there so the longer i talk to
00:17:53
him the more the pine tree smell wears
00:17:55
off and the gas smell starts coming out
00:17:57
it's right here
00:17:58
everything i've got in that cabinet's
00:18:00
gone
00:18:02
i'm just glad i've got inside
00:18:06
you'll have to excuse me
00:18:09
uh sir we're not through yet
00:18:12
uh sir on the way to the jail he asked
00:18:14
me because uh
00:18:15
do you think my insurance is still gonna
00:18:16
cover my house
00:18:19
[Music]
00:18:24
in california it used to be against the
00:18:26
law to leave a boat on a flooded street
00:18:29
hey hey no parking there no parking keep
00:18:32
moving come on come on
00:18:34
and with that we come to the end of
00:18:36
another show our continued thanks to
00:18:38
police officers across the nation for
00:18:39
their stories i'm daniel butler saying
00:18:42
don't be dumb don't break the law
00:18:49
[Music]
00:19:10
[Music]
00:19:20
hmm
00:19:22
[Music]
00:19:29
[Applause]
00:19:31
[Music]
00:19:49
[Music]
00:20:14
you
