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this is an adc warning the crimes you're
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about to see are true
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only the names were changed to protect
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the ignorant
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[Music]
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tonight on america's dumbest criminals
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you'll see a criminal who falls asleep
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just behind the wheel actual footage of
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dumb criminals on ice and a case we call
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all spruced up
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these are just a few of america's
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dumbest criminals
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[Music]
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welcome to america's dumbest criminals
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i'm daniel butler it doesn't matter who
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you are or what your education is when
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you decide to break the law everything
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goes wrong true some criminals are born
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to dumbness some achieve it but most
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have dumbness thrust upon them you're
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about to meet the least wanted of the
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most inept as we open the files on
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america's dumbest criminals
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mcintosh of birmingham tells us about a
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dumb criminal who could run fast but he
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just couldn't run far
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we had
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a burglary
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call go out
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and it was one of the old mom-and-pop
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type grocery stores
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and they said there was a couple of guys
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breaking in the back of the store so my
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partner and i eased up with their lights
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off they spotted us and they just bolted
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out the front door shattered the front
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door and ran
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one went south and one went north my
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partner being smart he went after the
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shorter fatter guy
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so i took off after my guy
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this guy had a 40-yard head start and i
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thought well no chance but i'll put on
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the show
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but as he crossed the street like i said
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this residential section this man all
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the way down his yard had like eight to
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ten foot high uh
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spruce type bushes that were real wide
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and as he crossed the street he was
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looking back at me and he ran right into
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one fell down on the other side you know
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and so
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i kind of gave a little chuckle and
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thought well i'll gain a little bit well
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he jumped up and i mean each one spaced
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like 15 feet apart
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he jumped up ran looked back at me and
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ran into the second one
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tumbled through the other side well but
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now i'm gained on him and he ran through
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the third and ran through the fourth and
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i would have caught him by the third one
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but i was laughing so hard by the time i
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got to him
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so he
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snatched him up
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mr larry johnston of new york was issued
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2 800 parking tickets between 1985 and
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1988 he used 19 addresses and 36 license
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plates to evade paying the 150 000 in
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fines he began parking without his car
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but the street sweeping was brutal while
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running radar one afternoon an
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undercover narcotics officer pulled over
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a speeding car with snooze control
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let's watch
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i had a man
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i clocked him speeding
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and
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he was going
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probably 65 and a 40.
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so i pulled him over
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and as i pulled him over he put the
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his car in
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in park and jumped into the back seat
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and laid down
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i didn't know if he was going after a
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weapon
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or what he was doing so i called for a
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backup unit
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when my backup unit got there we
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approached the vehicle and there was a
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female sitting in the front seat
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what's he doing i don't know i don't
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know what he's doing sir
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sir what are you doing
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sir
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what are you doing
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sir get up
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get up he tried to tell me that
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he wasn't driving the car
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that i had the wrong car that he had
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been in the back seat of sleep
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[Laughter]
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he also had warrants out on and i
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arrested him for dui
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that little nap got our backseat driver
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a nice long stretch in jail
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and now actual footage of our
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extravaganza we call dung criminals on
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ice
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the roads are closed the police have
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asked people not to drive it's icy out
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but drive they must
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and crash they will
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now a young car thief who knows too much
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about something he knew nothing about a
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four-wheel suspicion
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patrolling a strip of fast food
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restaurants in memphis two officers
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spotted a known car thief pulling out
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from a drive-through window in a car
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they suspected didn't belong to him at
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about the same time he spotted the
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patrol unit
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the car thief kid took off the cops hit
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their lights and sirens and started the
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pursuit the officers had dealt with this
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kardnapper on numerous occasions in the
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past but he was still a minor then so
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whenever he'd steal a car the cocky kid
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would always go for broke when chased by
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the police
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this was the first time the officers had
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chased him since he turned 18.
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now he was an adult and could be tried
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as one
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the next day the new adult was taken to
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the detective's office for questioning
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man you got the wrong guy
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oh really
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you were identified in a car that didn't
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belong to you chased for seven miles and
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then arrested right after you exited the
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vehicle of course it was you there's no
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way they could identify me
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and why is that
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man
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i learned a ball cap and the windows of
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the car pretended
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oh yes he was smart he just identified
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himself and confessed all at one time
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[Music]
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imitating animals is against the law in
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miami florida but you can imitate
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insects using balloons and glasses
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breaking the law is the first step taken
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on the road to becoming a dumb criminal
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the second step is believing that the
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police are as dumb as you are
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here's captain rick biliu of the las
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vegas police department to tell us about
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two men he met on the second step of
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that road it was about two o'clock and
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we had passed we were driving down
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eastern
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avenue and we had passed a car that was
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alongside the road and we noticed that
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it was jacked up and one of the tires
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were off of it
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or flat i don't recall but we continued
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down eastern
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and we noticed these two
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males
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pushing a tire down the street
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and they were pushing the tire along
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well we knew that further down the
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street was a gas station that closed at
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11 o'clock
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and we thought surmised that possibly
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these two
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had committed a burglary on the gas
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station to get a tire to fix the the
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the car that was broken down so we
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stopped them got in front and they were
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they were latinos they were uh
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i believe from mexico but they were
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latin males
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and i asked the one
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where did you get the tire get that tire
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not blowing glass
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no i playing glaze
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which meaning i don't speak english
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and i said oh okay and i turned to the
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other and i said where did you get the
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tire
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and he said
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i don't know he said it was his tire i
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just walked with him for about the last
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block i don't know where he got it
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and i said oh you're not together and he
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said no we've just been walking for
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about a block
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and i said oh yeah well could you ask
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him where he got the tire
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so he turned to him and said where oh
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you get all the tyro
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i don't speak spanish
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his partner mumbled something back to
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him because it distracted me
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and he turned back to me as if to answer
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me
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and i looked at him and i think my mouth
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dropped open and i said where are you
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ghetto de tyro he speaks a different
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dialect
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i said you've got to be kidding me
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i said i'm not spanish i don't speak
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spanish but i know that's not spanish
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and as it turned out
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they were both of latin descent
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but they were born and raised in the
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united states had lived there all of
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their lives their parents too and
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neither one of them spoke spanish
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and
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as luck would have it we had another
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unit go down and the and the gas station
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had been burglarized and they committed
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the burglary
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so the stolen tyro led to their allesto
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coming up a dumb criminal who escaped 46
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years too late
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[Music]
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welcome back
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if you're going to break out of prison
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after 28 years a getaway car is a good
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place to start that is if you can start
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it
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back in 1918 victor mitchum was
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sentenced to life in prison after 28
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years of incarceration he managed to
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escape with the help of a lifelong
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friend the friend was instructed to
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leave a getaway car on an old abandoned
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farm near the prison the criminal's
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escape went like clockwork as he reached
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the old farm there set the car as
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planned things were going good but they
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weren't going good for long you see when
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victor was sentenced way back in 1918
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the cars that he knew were all started
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by a large crank on the front of the car
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this new modern baby didn't have a crack
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it was started with a key from the
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dashboard a slight engineering
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advancement that our fossilized felon
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was unable to grasp
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he was still sitting in the car
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trying to figure it out when the state
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police picked him up and gave him a ride
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back to prison
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[Music]
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it is illegal to wrestle an untrained
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bull in new mexico but an untrained bull
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can beat the living daylights out of you
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when now retired officer frank walmer
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got the call about a man trying to kick
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in a basement door of a woman's home he
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didn't expect to find him still there
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walmer and his partner were dispatched
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to a burglary and progress call in a
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residential neighborhood the officers
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arrived and the homeowner was very
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frightened
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as the officer stood in the living room
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they could plainly hear all sorts of
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thumping and bumping coming from the
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basement
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the two officers went into the kitchen
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and found that someone on the other side
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of the basement door was methodically
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kicking it in
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once he broke through the thick-headed
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thief never looked around he twisted
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wiggled and with a great deal of effort
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family managed to squeeze through the
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hole he had made my house
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no it wasn't his house
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his house is now the big house
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and now the more actual footage of dumb
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criminals on ice
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[Music]
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abc quiz number 1822
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how often would you think a car is
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stolen in the united states is it
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a
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one car every 20 seconds
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b
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every time you turn around
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or c 180 cars per hour
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the correct answers were a and c there's
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one car stolen every 20 seconds or 180
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cars stolen per hour in the united
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states
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so my question is if they steal them as
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fast as we make them then do we ever own
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them
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[Music]
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officer timothy walker of birmingham is
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about to tell us a good story about a
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bad excuse we had
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we stopped the white female and a white
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male in a drug area we know well-known
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drug area
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and uh
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somebody told them that we were in an
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unmarked car and somebody said
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it's 5-0 you know and 5-0 is you know
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they alert everybody in the in the area
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that 5-0 is the police so everybody
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knows the police is in the area when
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they say 5-0
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so uh upon them saying that the white
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male and the white female
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after they'd parked they backed up and
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left the area anyway we called up to
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them and they said the reason that they
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were in the areas they didn't know the
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area
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and that she had just got off of the
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expressway and she was lost so i said
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was that the reason you parked in the
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project
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because you were lost and she was like
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she didn't have an excuse for that but
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the reason she was in the area in the
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first place was she was lost
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coming up a bafflingly dumb counterfeit
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case on america's dumbest criminals
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[Music]
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now inside the courtroom for trial
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and error
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in an interesting case a prosecutor is
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about to provide an interesting piece of
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evidence to get his conviction your
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honor
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while my client is suspected in numerous
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thefts in town
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there's very little evidence to support
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these charges your honor i beg to differ
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with my colleague
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my house was broken into recently and it
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so happens that jacket he's wearing is
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mine
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[Music]
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it used to be against the law to travel
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on the streets of brewton alabama in a
00:14:09
motor boat which of course forced all
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the bass fishermen to the air
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once in a while when stopped by the
00:14:16
police we open our mouths and we say the
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right thing and somehow managed to talk
00:14:21
our way out of a ticket
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well you're about to meet a guy who said
00:14:24
all the wrong things and talked himself
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right into jail
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well i was still a young jailer
00:14:31
a highway patrol officer brought in a
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fella
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he'd stopped him on a minor traffic
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violation
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tail light out or or something of the
00:14:39
sort
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since the man would not sign the
00:14:42
citation the officer was forced to take
00:14:44
him into custody
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and when they got to the jail he still
00:14:49
pleaded with the man to sign the
00:14:51
citation so that he could so the trooper
00:14:53
could go on home at the end of the shift
00:14:55
if you don't sign the ticket i'm going
00:14:56
gonna have to go outside and tow your
00:14:58
car and inventory your car well if you
00:15:00
didn't have to be super cop this
00:15:01
wouldn't have happened so go out there
00:15:03
take care of this guy i don't care
00:15:05
we'll all sleep
00:15:08
so the trooper left
00:15:10
and um
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as i booked the man in he said when can
00:15:13
i make bail
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i said well just as soon as you can get
00:15:17
somebody here
00:15:19
and he said where are my car keys
00:15:22
we give them to the trooper why'd you
00:15:23
give them to the trooper
00:15:25
when he told your vehicle
00:15:27
we do a complete inventory of the car
00:15:30
the whole car
00:15:32
yes sir
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the whole car
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when the trooper came in again a half
00:15:38
hour later he was smiling
00:15:40
when he opened the trunk to do the
00:15:42
inventory he ran across the burglary
00:15:43
tools and the cocaine
00:15:46
man could this day get any worse well we
00:15:48
also have a felony warrant for your
00:15:49
arrest in georgia
00:15:53
can you believe that guy all he had to
00:15:55
do was sign the ticket he just opened
00:15:57
his mouth to switch feet
00:16:00
and now the great finale of dumb
00:16:02
criminals on ice
00:16:05
[Music]
00:16:19
counterfeiting is a difficult crime to
00:16:21
pull off that's why this dumb criminal
00:16:23
didn't i was in the office and one of
00:16:25
our uniformed officers gave me a call
00:16:27
from on the field and he says we have
00:16:29
this guy at the 7-eleven store that was
00:16:32
detained for trying to cash a bill that
00:16:34
had been altered it's a common practice
00:16:36
of taking a corner off of a
00:16:39
100 and then placing that on the end of
00:16:41
a one and then
00:16:43
i take another 100
00:16:45
and and cutting off the corner of that
00:16:47
100 and placed it on the other side well
00:16:48
this guy cut off part of a one and put
00:16:51
it on the end of a 20 and was trying to
00:16:53
pass it as one dollar bill and get
00:16:54
changed he had the thing reversed he was
00:16:56
losing money not gaining money
00:16:59
can i get my change
00:17:01
so my team was so dumb i told the cause
00:17:03
just take the money impound it and kick
00:17:06
them loose
00:17:07
the man got shortchanged on brain
00:17:11
[Music]
00:17:16
and now sean chadwick of wilton manor's
00:17:18
florida tells us about the dumb criminal
00:17:20
dating game
00:17:22
we have this guy around here this this
00:17:24
is quick and you kind of had to be there
00:17:25
but this is hysterical this guy uh he's
00:17:27
he's not he's not all there and um
00:17:30
he's really pretty harmless and you see
00:17:33
him all the time and he always acts like
00:17:35
he's like a spy or or fbi or cia or
00:17:38
something and we got a call one day that
00:17:41
a guy was walking down the road with a
00:17:43
mask
00:17:45
fully down to his neck i mean his head
00:17:46
was totally covered so that's you know
00:17:49
you get a little suspicious over stuff
00:17:50
like that especially being a cop
00:17:52
so so we drive over there and around the
00:17:56
corner walks this guy with a a paper bag
00:18:00
over his head with two little eyes cut
00:18:01
out you know and just from seeing him
00:18:04
walk i knew exactly who it was you know
00:18:07
and
00:18:08
i'm like why is he doing that you know
00:18:10
now you got to understand this is not
00:18:11
the most attractive individual in the
00:18:13
world to begin with
00:18:14
and so
00:18:15
he comes walking up and i said
00:18:17
i said joey i said why do you have a bag
00:18:19
over your head he goes
00:18:21
trying to get a date
00:18:27
[Music]
00:18:32
as always our thanks to the men and
00:18:34
women of law enforcement and to you for
00:18:37
watching but hey people play it smart
00:18:40
don't break the law or we'll catch you
00:18:41
next week on america's dumbest criminals
00:18:45
i'm daniel butler god bless
00:18:49
[Music]
00:19:42
so
00:19:43
[Music]
00:20:14
[Applause]
00:20:16
[Music]
00:20:22
you
