00:00:00
[Music] but they went to Cheesecake Factory and
00:00:06
people were complaining because you know your buto might get on
00:00:12
the seat but right yeah and I don't mean to sound like a scientist but that's
00:00:17
where poop comes from you
00:00:23
know when we I will say to start out when we do stuff anything about uh our
00:00:30
President Joe Biden even if it's a light jab people go bananas in the comments and I think it's it's a it's an age
00:00:38
where as a comic over time you realize star it live we were there whoever the
00:00:44
president was Republican Democrat you make fun of the person in charge of just
00:00:50
anti-establishment funny basic day one comedy 101 and uh and and we weren't
00:00:58
saying anything heavy dut that's the funniest part we're not going after we're not saying you should vote this
00:01:03
way that way and people still man that comment section they eat each other they cannibalize each other it's
00:01:11
cannibal time it's not even about us anymore it's just like they're fighting and then it's just like wait we're doing
00:01:17
bits over here and they're like no we forgot about that now we want to kill each other so it's America I defend our
00:01:23
right to saiz both presidents the way we like you know MH cuz uh what was that
00:01:29
thing saying the emperor has new clothes or something so you're supposed to kind of tug on your authority figures and
00:01:35
then I defend the right of the people in the comment section right hashing it out so everybody gets to say see no one has
00:01:43
to watch it's like yeah it's I think it's called Freedom maybe I'm just throwing it out there freedom is just
00:01:49
another word for I don't know what but Janice for Nothing Left to Lose the song is that
00:01:55
it Freedom just another world for nothing life to lose well as we get started here uh Dana yeah you didn't go
00:02:05
to the bathroom earlier but I was singing Dana's got a dump and I thought it was so funny and then I laughed and
00:02:10
no one was on the zoom and I started going damn and you weren't I use the restroom and that kind of gold comes out
00:02:18
that's being mined out here yeah that's what that's what this podcast has come to that's our big got a d That's our big
00:02:28
clip hey did you miss the show that's what they did this week I love Stephen Tyler
00:02:35
because he's the one when you get past a certain age you got to be a pirate or a cowboy yeah he looks like all he's kind
00:02:42
of like a pirate you know very cool dude yeah uh I have a quick story that was on
00:02:48
uh popped up in my Instagram that I want to tell you about okay there's a uh young uh singer named bad
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baby not not bad bunny what bad baby first there was bad baby then there's
00:03:01
Bad Bunny okay before you play that Greg so bad baby is was originally to go way
00:03:07
back on was it Dr Phil and she's the one that said catch me outside how about
00:03:12
that do you remember that catch me outside absolutely yeah so she was only 14 then anyway so she grew up and she
00:03:19
was still in the mix I did Kimmel one night and I came home I was in a suit because I hosted so I was a little more
00:03:25
Dapper yeah I saw her at a restaurant and my buddy goes oh that's bad baby back then was catch me outside
00:03:34
girl till then she didn't have a rapper name wow she is good for her so I said
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oh and she has all these followers and she's a big deal and it's very interesting to see her in real life so he said go ask for a picture and so I
00:03:46
can get a picture with her so I do she kind of doesn't know me fine we take a picture and then I say a snarky comment
00:03:54
now this is my fault so you can read the bottom okay I say how about this that's
00:04:02
already funny we're already going how about D yeah okay slightly underwhelmed to
00:04:08
meet me okay yeah when I keep going I say unfortunately then you say
00:04:14
unfortunately she stopped being famous five minutes before this was taken cuz you know it was 15 minutes of f you're
00:04:20
shocked she's upset well she's first of all I'm picking on someone younger it's stupid it was just like me trying to
00:04:27
like be fun I don't know you know bless my heart so then she writes
00:04:33
back um uhoh we got a war here TI four you have it or I just tell
00:04:40
it oh yeah she right see look
00:04:45
at she goes no lie I thought this guy was the waiter so funny well I love no
00:04:53
lie up front you know well that's rapper talk dude I'm this one of my favorite
00:04:58
phrases if I point to the picture and go I call [ __ ] on that yeah it's sort of that it's sort of a new version of
00:05:04
that sort of No Cap and so I write I write back again someone put a cork in
00:05:11
me I I put not bad I'm bummed it took your team 48 hours to come up with it
00:05:17
though because it was two days later so anyway blah blah why am I why am I doing this because I don't know she has fans
00:05:24
like Beyonce has bees and so they started hammering me and and just like
00:05:30
ripping me apart right eating me alive so then we eventually my friend Nick gusen directs a music video for her
00:05:37
she's getting into rap she's obviously makes way more money than you and I put together now no joke so she's a she's a
00:05:45
huge and then I meet her on the set by now she's probably what Heather 20 I don't know she's doing a video she's a
00:05:52
famous rapper my buddy's directing and he goes why don't you guys make amends because we had this fake beef and then
00:05:58
do a cameo in her video so I do it she's perfectly lovely she's fine and then
00:06:05
about and then out of the blue so we're friendly I've seen her since she's fine so out of the
00:06:12
blue she puts a video people are start hitting me up going I've heard you're in the Illuminati and the Illuminati is
00:06:18
this thing what I'm like where do you hear that and they go bad baby said it so let's play this video she put on
00:06:24
Instagram okay I'm going to tell you guys a true story on how me and David Spade me I was at a weekly Illuminati
00:06:30
meeting I was sitting next to Beyonce and Jay-Z and all of a sudden my boy Spade walked in right after Drake walked in I was like yo Drake move you little
00:06:37
[ __ ] CH somewhere else I got to talk to Spade real quick and then we burned two truckloads of money and did some devil prayers I sacrificed four gos three
00:06:44
chickens and one sheep and then we just you know chopped it up whatever we was like Hey be in this video B we went to
00:06:49
catch it had some lobsters with chicken blood I still have the T-shirt with the chicken blood on it I think it's a drake T okay so all let's unpack that yeah a
00:06:58
little bit first of all well just for me that's not true right you weren't it's not true but it's it's kind of funny
00:07:04
because it's so ridiculous to talk about the Illuminati add all the stuff and they put of course eerie music under it
00:07:11
which makes you immediately think it's real when I see a Tik Tok with that music I go okay guys quiet down this is
00:07:16
real yeah uh and it's scary well done and then she says all these funny things about what people would guess the
00:07:21
Illuminati is Jay-Z beond say first I don't know if we'd all be at the same party but fine so and I don't think we'd
00:07:28
all be at the same restaurant but she says all this which I think is funny because she's obviously has a funny bone
00:07:35
she's funny and so everyone thinks it's real and and her fans are younger so
00:07:40
they think it's real for sure so now they start coming after me you're in the Illuminati I know it's a fact and I'm
00:07:45
like first of all I don't know what the Illuminati is you sell your so whatever you do I'm not doing all that just to
00:07:51
get a sitcom on peacock you know I'd i' shoot a little higher like if I'm gonna
00:07:56
do all this stuff and kill things and do all the horrible things I I want everything everything in this town all
00:08:04
of it I don't want this something about Mary hair I don't want you know a couple zip up pullovers I want solid gold
00:08:11
clothing I want all the cars and jets so I feel like I'm not in the Illuminati
00:08:16
and if I am I'm missing all the meetings uh but uh that's just really to set the
00:08:22
record straight Dan I think you understood I wasn't in it but there's people I'm 99% sure you're not in it but
00:08:30
I do have a tiny bit I'm just being truth to power I'm just being honest is there a kind of a weird thing where you
00:08:36
could be in it I mean I it's I had tough time getting in Soho house so I think
00:08:42
that the Illuminati is probably harder and it's probably a tighter door I'm still working on something
00:08:48
about Mary hair that was Dennis Miller that was Dennis Miller level reference
00:08:54
look at it it's getting bigger because I swear my hair girl was hung over and she goes I'm going to do your hair and put
00:09:00
so much shac in it that you're doing the road cuz I have to go to Austin and New Orleans so it'll last for like a week
00:09:07
and she goes you won't have to touch it and I'm like it's now it's even more Cameron is look at it's higher because I
00:09:12
just touched it what God damn it stay everyone stay away from it put cones around so they put crazy glue on your
00:09:19
head and then you could go tour for a week and you don't even you just take baths and make sure it's all the helmet
00:09:24
is fine exactly so yours always looks pretty good yours looks a little looser than mine which is better well you put
00:09:32
stuff in it and then you kind of loosen it up we'll talk [Music]
00:09:44
later David H what what are you reading over there random conversation this isn't
00:09:51
about this Dana but I was going to talk to you about LinkedIn oh LinkedIn uh when you're hiring your uh for your
00:09:56
small business you want to find quality professionals uh that are right for the role you check out LinkedIn jobs which everyone knows
00:10:03
about LinkedIn jobs it has the tools to help you find the right Professionals for your team faster and for free and
00:10:09
you know what David LinkedIn isn't just another job board LinkedIn has a vast network of more than a billion
00:10:16
professionals which makes it the best place to hire it gives you access to professionals you can't find anywhere
00:10:22
else LinkedIn does all that while making the process easy and intuitive you got
00:10:27
that word right hiring is easy when you have that many quality candidates so easy that in fact 86% of small
00:10:34
businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours I never would have guess wow that's amazing one day that's one
00:10:40
day folks yeah well you know hiring people is difficult but LinkedIn knows
00:10:46
that small businesses are wearing so many small businesses small bus LinkedIn knows that small businesses are wearing
00:10:52
so many hats might not have the time or the resources to hire come on no joke it
00:10:57
makes it so easy uh they have a feature that helps you write job descriptions uh 2.5 million small businesses use
00:11:04
LinkedIn I would think it's probably more than that by now because everyone I know that has a job is on LinkedIn so
00:11:11
post your job for free at linkedin.com ff23 that's linkedin.com f23 to post
00:11:17
your job for free what applies terms and conditions apply okay
00:11:24
the first headline I want to get to is just the biggest story this week is Kate gate which is is Kate Middleton missing
00:11:33
and it's a sort of a tired and boring story but I still like it because if you don't know Dana they hadn't seen her
00:11:39
since Christmas but she's a real person they said she had abdominal surgery she doesn't always really any explanation
00:11:46
except she's a royal so you have to tell us every goddamn thing about your life and then they said oh here she is and
00:11:54
they show some photoshop that's basically could have been Bigfoot it's all you know it's some picture that
00:11:59
looks fake and and they're like that's not really her they're like you know what that's not we screwed up okay
00:12:05
here's really her and then couple days or weeks later they show her walking
00:12:12
it's all too perfect Dana who's the human being that started it besides
00:12:18
potentially William or Prince Harry like who started this rumor Megan and Harry
00:12:24
no I think I mean they're obviously all she had surgery and she was recovering like she's
00:12:30
missing yeah but they usually give updates cuz they said the queen had problems and she was on her deathbed she
00:12:36
still would wave to the crowd so Kate hadn't been seen since December that's a big chunk oh I got it Royals aren't
00:12:42
allowed to be missing they at least put them out on the balcony and someone's underneath holding their h i mean have
00:12:47
you ever not seen JLo for 24 hours I mean come on she's out there it's been 44 hours
00:12:55
get me Instagram stories anything so they said this there so she comes out
00:13:00
tral la la look at me with William couldn't be more perfect I'm smiling my
00:13:05
gut isn't hurting I'm not bent over I'm sort of almost skipping so everyone's like well she had surgery why is she
00:13:10
walking so good why is her hair longer than it was maybe it's been is it a slow
00:13:17
news month I mean this one seems but I did meet someone at the gym and they go hey are you look are you like me are you
00:13:24
looking for Kate Middleton exactly I mean is this is the Western world World
00:13:29
Gone a little sleepy I mean this seems like bigot so well here the thing go ahead
00:13:36
what if it's true what if it's true that's it's look alike go ahead here's my super New Angle okay on this [ __ ]
00:13:43
tired story that I'm bothering you with we're breathing life into it right now right
00:13:49
that that Prince Charles who no one seems to give a care about right now
00:13:54
actually has a health problem and they're taking the focus off of that I and making this fake story over here
00:14:01
and then she'll just pop up one day and go I'm fine and we're like oh and this whole time we didn't say hey Prince Charles is actually or King Charles
00:14:08
isn't a problem oh yeah there's a there's a lookalike that they think could be the yes people's princess I
00:14:15
would want to be in that meeting yes I'm going to have an operation Willam I'm suggesting that you
00:14:23
say Kate's gone missing I don't know why I talk like this it's a it's a itute
00:14:29
voice no it's a good one because he's also in Dire Straits so he's out of breath King Charles King Charles yes um
00:14:38
I love everything to do with the Royals um they great source of entertainment it shows the Western world has a lot of
00:14:44
free time on its hands they went from it's good that Kate gets some attention because it was all by the way Prince
00:14:51
Harry's getting no attention right now he's like I have ezema everyone's like well it's not that big of a story he's
00:14:56
like he'd be like I've got hair up here but it's a little Spar in the back so I don't like to bow anymore hope don't be
00:15:03
mad let's do a story on where my hair went for 6 months
00:15:09
yeah I'm going to wear Bowlers I'm going to wear proper hats that everyone can f
00:15:16
off there we go all right so case closed we figured it out case yes case but we
00:15:21
figured out nothing okay what else in the news we're off to a mesmerizing start that's all
00:15:27
I'm saying I think it's funny uhoh oh hey what oh let me pull those up
00:15:33
for you dear isn't it funny how Kanye's girlfriend who uh very attractive great
00:15:40
figure as my mom would say not too much on the clothes front and Kanye is head
00:15:46
to toe in almost a wet suit uh he always is clothed up and
00:15:51
she I I don't mind this look I don't see it a lot with her I don't see this at the Grove every day but they went to
00:15:57
Cheesecake Factory and people were complaining because you know your butocks might get
00:16:04
on the seat right yeah and I don't mean to sound like a scientist but that's
00:16:10
where poop comes from you know right um oh it's
00:16:18
he do they decide how far down the leotar goes is it I feel like that's
00:16:24
really cutting it close right where it is right there that's about as far as I go with with mine right when I'm at the
00:16:31
Grove yeah I don't know but a lot of times she wears pure see-through stuff
00:16:36
she wore nylons with nothing no underpants my favorite word in the
00:16:43
world no underpanties and he's got on Tidy whes yeah how many views did this get I
00:16:50
mean what what is going on this is the news Dana so then she goes to Cheesecake
00:16:55
Factory and now they're ruining that for me that's my precious Cheesecake Factory I go there all the time so you have to
00:17:01
put a towel down like at the gym maybe well if we wore g strings and went to
00:17:08
Malibu Beach and strut around and then came back to our computers and checked Daily Mail would we Trend at all I mean
00:17:15
I don't know I hope I don't think anyone cares why can't they care about us I
00:17:21
don't know all right we'll move on Cottage Industry you know to get the clicks
00:17:26
and it it's a cottage this stre that's funny all right I'm sitting back down
00:17:32
okay I would be forced to mortgage oh Trump melts down on Truth social as lawers admit he can't come up with $500
00:17:38
million so yeah well that would be tough for me too uh yeah on top of the 90 it's
00:17:45
getting up there it's getting Trump's gonna Trump's gonna have to have a yard sale that's the only
00:17:52
noo go don't be shy everything's for sale and it's got to go frankly it's got to go hey hey what how how much is that
00:18:02
how much is are those shoes yeah those shoes are a million dollars each those are Baron shoes he's a big boy and those
00:18:08
are a million dollar per shoe we got to raise a lot of money hey how much is that tanning
00:18:15
bed you say it how much is that I like the shoes there but they look as big as
00:18:20
Shacks are they that big there's bigger Shacks they're bigger than you believe many people are saying these are shoes
00:18:26
you could put a mouse in them and you'd have room for a lot more mice I'll tell you that two cats could crawl in there you
00:18:34
get a small dog in there a beagle or something like that could make a home in these shoes even an
00:18:42
ocelot Rob Schneider and David Spade could set up homes we can mud
00:18:50
wrestle yeah uh what else you got here what else I got a Channing bed I got a
00:18:55
janning bed it's beautiful janning bed I'm going to throw in the goggle for free this bed is tremendous I'll tell
00:19:01
you it's a tremendous dinning bed this is where you ask me how much how much is
00:19:09
it it's it's $450 million oh my God that's exactly
00:19:16
how much you owe it's a total coincidence we did it we valued it it's made of solid gold it's a solid gold
00:19:24
Janny bed and I throw in the goggles for for free I'm not kidding you get the goggles for nothing it's a
00:19:30
$450 million Charity B all right maybe I'll just get the crockpot then that
00:19:36
sounds a li hey Hunter hun B Joe Biden what are you doing here come on you're
00:19:42
inflating your assets could the solid gold the bad the bad bars the bad bad
00:19:48
Baker Baker baker man Bad Bath and Beyond better than
00:19:53
Beyond Can't Believe It's Not Butter yeah you this is where you say I'm hi
00:19:59
I'm David Spade I'm David Spade [ __ ] ain't ever going to happen I I didn't
00:20:05
approve this message I have no idea what's going on at least I got to Camp live B butter
00:20:12
but yeah just a coincidence 4 54 million you can have it right now we'll give it
00:20:17
to you and EEG Carol could have it too as she wants she can lay down car do you
00:20:23
do you still do they still wear goggles and tanning beds I guess I think Trump I
00:20:28
don't know why cuz he always has a tan or got white around and he has a little white around his eyes yeah I think it's
00:20:35
kind of cool that Trump just decided I'm going to have orange hair and I'm going to be super tin and I'm gonna have white
00:20:41
teeth and we're going to stick with it it works for him so anyway what's next
00:20:47
that's funny as [ __ ] thanks for playing David I like a
00:20:53
not well put together or stitched up quilt of a trumpet
00:21:00
well yeah we shoot the rehearsal here yeah they say that people see BTS that's one just off the top of your head uh
00:21:07
Tracy Morgan says he gained 40 pounds on a zic after learning how to out eat the
00:21:14
drug well that's that's its own punchline so funny I don't either that's
00:21:19
just Tracy Morgan being hilarious I'm GNA eat out out eat the Weight Loss druck yeah that's so funny he he tried
00:21:26
to he cracked the system he goes I can take it and still gain weight that's
00:21:31
that's like someone taking blood pressure medicine and walking around all
00:21:37
day dress out trying to raise it yeah you can beat the system if you really
00:21:42
try but he really cracked that code Z didn't have a chance but well how high is he want to go I don't know he loves
00:21:49
he's very proud in that picture all right we love Tracy okay next one mhm Tracy call us I'll put a baby in that
00:21:57
OIC that's J Moore does an incredible Tracy Morgan we'll have him on someday
00:22:02
with the real Tracy Morgan okay the state of Washington has just announced that the bar exam will no longer be
00:22:07
required for an attorney to become licensed in Washington according to the state supreme court oh okay the bar exam
00:22:15
will no longer be oh well well well what I don't know what's going to happen so
00:22:22
wait uhoh Kim Kardashian I mean if you're having trouble getting the bar
00:22:27
maybe go there because but are they then they real lawyers then are they real lawyers what
00:22:32
next thing is just um a pilot without a pilot's license I mean where does this go I mean is test to show that you know
00:22:40
you know objection your honor I guess if you don't take it you just might overruled what what does that mean I
00:22:48
think it'd be hard to be a lawyer and then I think it's supposed to be hard it's but it's if it's doctors that it's
00:22:53
troubling right also I would say if you watch every episode of Law and Order and
00:22:58
you could prove it then you could skip the bar exam yeah okay that'll be the new thing yeah all right next one let's
00:23:06
see we're really we're really breaking down all the hot headlines oh okay can
00:23:11
climate cafes help ease the anxiety oh there's a climate Cafe like the model
00:23:18
Cafe in the old days I don't know Hollywood I mean it's screen up across
00:23:23
the country God I I feel like this might be the first of all I don't think I'm
00:23:29
investing in this what what just to be depressed you walk in there and go hey man it's getting really
00:23:36
bad that's well I heard they have a life-size sort of animatronic um Greta
00:23:41
thumberg and you put a nickel in it and the the thing just moves and goes how dare you how dare you that sort of C
00:23:50
when you push the tip and you go under 20% it goes how dare you how dare
00:23:57
you I like this the pan of mine was actually kind kind of real and then Al
00:24:03
Gore is an animatronic guy greeting you it's getting hot come right in let's see
00:24:09
it's getting hot come right in it's getting hot come right in and then they
00:24:15
have Nelly go it's getting hot in here we are all gonna
00:24:20
die no but I feel like this is further the pussification of America that's just
00:24:26
my overation uh okay next one I yeah it's just I mean
00:24:32
I don't know I mean it is it is climate change out there I don't know if we need to talk about 24 hours a day and be
00:24:38
depressed okay this is what someone sent me on Instagram okay this guy
00:24:45
thinks he this guy thinks he meets me and then this guy says he swears he's
00:24:51
me I'm like is this that close no God damn no it's Fred Wolf for something
00:24:59
this is the guy the left is closer I mean what the [ __ ] is happening yeah I'm not getting a David Spade thing there at
00:25:07
all I don't it's maybe Billy Mummy Circa 1994 yeah uh maybe the Basse player for
00:25:15
any band from the 80s I I don't know it feels like not to crap on this dude it's
00:25:21
just more like I don't think it's a perfect match have you ever Pop Quiz taken a
00:25:28
picture and they thought this is years ago when we were much younger sometimes people go hey David
00:25:35
Spade I I loved you on just shoot me have you ever taken a picture and they
00:25:41
thought you were danag garfo oh people think I'm you yeah I mean of course I mean most of our comments some are very
00:25:49
clever on YouTube and Instagram but a lot of them are you guys look similar
00:25:54
you go cut your hair by the way I did cut my hair Instagram so go [ __ ] yourself and I think if this guy had his
00:26:00
hair shellacked up it might help first of all that mustache that little tiny
00:26:06
mustache that's a lady killer that's not no one wants to lip lock with that
00:26:12
little caterpillar sitting there oh this guy's dropping drawers all over the country I mean listen the hair is kind
00:26:18
of cool you could probably I I don't I don't know but I don't see it the guy on the
00:26:24
left kind of looks like Greg Holtzman he looks like someone from bar
00:26:31
stool was to try okay Heather you're off there which which one would you if you
00:26:36
had to have take one as a lover left or
00:26:43
[Laughter]
00:26:48
right yeah Greg hman I guess we're gonna Greg put a
00:26:54
picture of yourself up at the end so they know we're kidding all right go to the next one let's see
00:27:00
we got some good stuff [Applause] here I think it should I think it
00:27:07
[Laughter]
00:27:14
be that's inspired that's pretty funny right that is funny that's funny who ever thought of that I loves just simple
00:27:21
silly things like that whoever sent that in congratulations I will steal it and I will claim it's mine at least I'm
00:27:28
are we on to Impressions or what are we on to oh we have oh they're just funny Instagram things for a fart walk oh yeah
00:27:35
okay I remember this going to help you age wonderfully and if you follow me you know that my husband and I go out for
00:27:40
fart walks most nights after dinner so about 60 minutes after we've eaten we
00:27:46
put on our running shoes and off we go now why do we do this well we eat a lot of fiber so we have gas everybody does
00:27:53
and uh yeah you fart when you walk so that's why I named it that but the main reason that we do the fart walks is
00:27:59
because uh by walking for as little as 2 minutes we usually walk for about 10 15
00:28:05
20 but not really quickly it's more of a moderate walk um we are helping reduce our chances of developing type 2
00:28:11
diabetes Well that's what the theme of this is is helping maintain our blood sugars keeping them from ricocheting all
00:28:17
around and as you age especially after 40 uh you have a bigger chance of developing type 2 diabetes so it's these
00:28:25
little things you do on a regular basis that can have a really big impact on your what is Susan saning doing in this
00:28:34
PSA Susan Saran is a good one I just can't believe B Midler is
00:28:39
doing well I take these but they're just called walks uh I don't know where that
00:28:45
funny nickname came in but uh yeah walking around is good it's funny to
00:28:51
have an attractive woman saying I put on my fart shoes and take a fart walk when
00:28:56
I hosted the MTV Music Awards whoops the famous One in '93 Howard Stern did fart
00:29:04
man only connecting and he was coming in on a gurnie brought down the house
00:29:10
okay this is a snake chiropractor I feel like this is when you have too much money and too many snakes look the snake
00:29:17
just was oh yeah thanks now I can go kill everybody well what is
00:29:24
happening this is what I do to my wiener in the morning
00:29:30
what get all the Kinks out what what the snake's like who asked
00:29:36
what are they trying to do does a snake have a spine no what a job to have Mom I
00:29:43
finally figured out something I'm passionate about snakes that have absolutely no pain or no problems I'm
00:29:48
just I'm fixing them this job bites good night okay that's that's a good ending
00:29:54
okay next one okay uh birds are named stuff
00:29:59
like hot breasted mil and no one does anything about it here's some bird names that are real the somber tit okay that's
00:30:07
a real bird name dick Cel I went to school with a guy Nam
00:30:13
really the red rumped bush Tyrant oh bushes are this is like a David a David
00:30:20
Letter kind of this is like Johny Carson the uh the blue footed
00:30:26
booby these are all drinks you had yeah right I had a blue-footed booby at the
00:30:33
slippery iron officer the American Bush it Bush tit Bush tit oh well there it is
00:30:41
the American Bush tit can we say that duck wood
00:30:48
cck the Alan and the Alan [ __ ] of the rock Ed I think I had one of those and I
00:30:55
was in MOS The Fluffy B tit bebler ladies and
00:31:03
gentlemen he looks like a uh dude I'll take him to a party look at his wandering eye he's really got a
00:31:10
Wandering eye yeah but tough to tit Mouse has my hair
00:31:16
stylist that's not you wait my screen's going a little blurry wait that's not you Spade are you on the left to the
00:31:23
right that should be called the Spader that should be called the Spader the little spoodle
00:31:30
Doo love it okay oh it's Impressions don't start
00:31:39
yet okay Dana this is a part of the show actually we're gonna make a call out right now we've asked for people to give
00:31:46
their Impressions and they've been kind of Hit and Miss more more hits and uh next week send us a video of advice you
00:31:54
have if you need advice or if you're thinking you're an [ __ ] or something we will give you our super advice yes we
00:32:04
we we want advice and uh we got some miles on us so we have a lot of good
00:32:09
advice to give I don't want to brag but we know know a lot we pretty much okay this is Harrison Ford buying Halloween
00:32:15
candy I like the [Music]
00:32:25
setup Ford picking out Halloween candy minute 22 sounds
00:32:35
long um I like it I have a list here
00:32:40
it's
00:32:51
alphabetical AirHeads he's got kind of face yeah
00:33:01
yeah atomic fireball yeah ABAB is a funny term I used to use it my Bazooka
00:33:10
gum going back away big
00:33:15
hunk is he getting more breathing in the yeah breathing is funny P honey these are from
00:33:23
1940 yeah Black Cow what the [ __ ] I don't know what that
00:33:29
is Blow Pop how many does he have alphabetically he's already only on B
00:33:34
bottle of cap bottle caps I like bottle cap
00:33:41
oh candy corn oh I like
00:33:46
that give me back my vending machine I'm surprised he didn't the end say
00:33:56
chewbaca let's go chewy Corey Landis good job I mean uh your face actually at
00:34:02
times kind of looked like Harrison Ford the pausing and the breathing and uh you took part of Harrison Ford's acting
00:34:10
chops of being just really anxious very under very like a it's about to explode
00:34:16
thing that he does and he's got a lot of nose breathing lot of nose breathing did you you know that when
00:34:22
George Lucas called up the guy who played Chewbacca that he wasn't going to be in the next movie all he heard on the phone was
00:34:29
and he he knew he was playing it or he wasn't playing he wasn't I move the joke they're letting him go and that's what
00:34:36
he says that's all he has to say yeah he talks like what how does Chewbacca sound that was it that was
00:34:43
it that seems like the same thing he'd say if he was happy that's the joke ladies and smokes by the way I hope this
00:34:50
next guy's not doing Elmo okay here we go oh Elmo is Joe peshi Jeremy Kina okay
00:34:57
let me understand this cuz I maybe it's me maybe I'm a little [ __ ] up maybe
00:35:04
I'm funny how I mean funny like I'm a clown I amuse you I make you laugh I'm
00:35:13
here to [ __ ] amuse you what are you been funny funny how I like how am I
00:35:20
funny okay uh I like it I like I liked it I liked it I I do just the uh the
00:35:26
innocent puppet with that speech yeah from Good Fellas is great I'm like a
00:35:32
clown to a muuu no how am I funny spider come here
00:35:37
spider how am I [ __ ] funny I don't know you're just funny sorry trying to do Rota was Rota saying that or was it
00:35:44
spider um Rota was the one who was put on the hot seat by peshi oh yeah and
00:35:50
spider he shot in the foot yes and peshi had an experience
00:35:56
like that with gangsters that that did that to him that's why he used it there oh that's great that's a great now
00:36:02
before this guy says what he's doing what do you think he's going to do I think he's gonna do um Adam
00:36:10
Driver oh it's a good choice I'll say Tom Cruz just for fun because he's got the hair all
00:36:17
right hey Dana hey David my name is Justin I went a little overboard with my impression but I hope you still like it
00:36:23
it's called what if Johnny Carson had a podcast oh okay production what's up
00:36:31
guys welcome to I did not know that with me Johnny Carson my first guest really
00:36:38
needs no introduction he's got the number one podcast for the last 50 years
00:36:44
please welcome Bob Hope Bob Hope okay now Bob I saw you posted a pick on
00:36:51
Instagram of you playing a round of golf with President Putin is that right yeah
00:36:57
ain't that a while thank you Bob what's that Fred oh hold on there Bob we need
00:37:04
to step away for a moment but first a word from our new sponsor let me tell you about stamps.com now you can pay for
00:37:10
stamps right at home use promo code Gang Busters to get 20% off your I know why
00:37:18
that's back Cat Williams Cat Williams C Williams I wanted to hear Cat
00:37:25
Williams now all right so we liked it we liked it I would just say try to make
00:37:30
your try to get it down here a little deeper you know just just sort of clinch
00:37:35
your jaw just even a little bit more like you had your jaw wire shut and just try to keep it right here I did not know
00:37:42
that I did I did not know that so sorry i t i want to educate as much as be
00:37:49
funny you do that's good that's what you gave you gave him some tips okay those are good all right I guess that's it
00:37:55
Dana um well no I have one I'm going to do little ad Oh I thought you going to a little ad you can tag it you know okay
00:38:02
this is Trump and Biden folks come on let's get real the American public wants
00:38:09
anyone but us that's right my people hate you and your people hate me that's why we've decided to join forces me
00:38:17
Donald Trump and me Joe Biden we're going to run together to become the presidents of the United
00:38:23
States this ad was this ad was paid for by the committee to elect by rump ticket
00:38:29
by wait a minute just take two this this ad paid for by the committee to elect the by rump ticket I'm David Spade and I
00:38:39
did not approve this [ __ ] show I'm David Spade and I did not approve this [ __ ] show I'm David Spade and I don't get
00:38:47
it no it's funny that they everybody hates both of them somebody hates the
00:38:53
other one everybody hates me everybody hates me we're running together together we're running on the by rump ticket
00:38:59
Biden and rump you put them together you got a by rump ticket vote by rump we're going to be presidents United States
00:39:06
yeah let me say something you don't talk so good okay I think that's not a bad solution
00:39:13
because paid for by the committee to elect the president ticket of by rump sorry paid for by the committee to ruin
00:39:21
the country I think it's it's a good idea though because people if they seek L
00:39:27
join forces then people would you know you'd be half happy right I'm at 42 he's
00:39:34
at 36 you put it together we got an approval rating of 75 I don't it's not even
00:39:42
100 together they can't even get what's the undecided and the independence mhm I
00:39:49
like that all right all right good job this has been a presentation of
00:39:54
Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Charlie
00:40:00
finan of Brill entertainment Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked
00:40:07
[Music]
00:40:13
it
