00:00:00
Dana I'm G to put on lipstick to start no it's uh it's
00:00:05
chapstick it's not lipstick right and hold it up it's
00:00:10
chapstick no it is lipstick sorry it doesn't matter yeah okay look Kylie
00:00:15
Jenner lip kit I'll do your word when we read ads listen listen it's okay
00:00:21
whatever uh do I say listen L yeah sickening do I really no but that you I
00:00:28
my thing is more David do you understand oh gross that's why I don't
00:00:33
listen to I can't hear it I can't hear myself no we're we're working hard we're dancing for our Donuts man oh we were G
00:00:40
to tell everyone our first Big Gig together Fantasy Springs and Palm Springs right yes Fantasy Springs and
00:00:47
Palm Springs near the uh spring Fresh Restaurant uh the exit is called
00:00:55
Springtown I wash my pits with Irish Spring then we go right on stage and we
00:01:00
have to check lpms and know Heather's going to check our laughs per minute just to see how we do because it's a
00:01:06
it's really going to be a wing ding but I don't know if you're legally allowed to bring your guitar out and kill that hard I might have to I don't know I'm
00:01:12
not doing as much standup as you I'm terrified of following a guy you're like a marine you are fit and people
00:01:19
understand that we need reps as standups reps now maybe I have the ability to
00:01:24
just come out with a few notes and RI but David is in really good sh
00:01:30
no I did a corporate this weekend I did uh in Vegas the Builder convention it was actually pretty fun I didn't know
00:01:38
how big it was it was 8 in the morning Dana let me tell you something I've heard about 8 A.M and I've read about it
00:01:44
but I haven't read good things my corporate breakfasts like I think we talked about off the air always go
00:01:50
pretty well go ahead it was more nerve-wracking because I woke up and then the room circus didn't give me my
00:01:56
breakfast it was a very nice hotel I'm not really blaming them gets chaotic
00:02:01
they go oh Mr Spade we'll do anything you want what's your breakfast oh make your eggs fluffy never came they never
00:02:08
picked up again so I'm going there like eating a filthy happy what do you what
00:02:13
what what's at the bouet do they have a table of water I don't go to the bouet Dana I go don't you have little snacks
00:02:20
backstage waiting for you oh in my green room at the thing yeah yeah there's a
00:02:27
croissant okay sort of on a warmer with ham and stuff that you probably didn't
00:02:33
eat when you did the same gig about four years ago they said uh I try to eat ahead of time and then I've never I
00:02:39
didn't I've never seen my writer they come at me sometimes really nervous and say Mr car Mr Carvey I'm so
00:02:47
sorry we only have three towels I said three towels it's in your Rider that you need
00:02:53
three towels and and it's in all caps yeah and sometimes I play with them can
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you find a fourth could you chase down a fourth it says in the writer Mr Carvey
00:03:05
drenches profusely in sweat well they're all incredibly sweet
00:03:10
people by the way when you meet there and they really want to do a good job but it's like we about to go on would
00:03:16
you like your coca colola on the stool or on the floor next to the stool you know yeah I know they they literally
00:03:22
like because it's so easy it's not a band they like yeah we've got your water
00:03:28
yeah and your microphone M and I'm like right like so are you good I'm like
00:03:33
there's a speech before you it's like okay we're going to move the podium the podium is gonna move out we're gonna
00:03:40
move your car your guitar down Center this guy is gonna do a quick five
00:03:46
minutes about all the employees that have passed away since the history of this company and then you're up and I'm
00:03:51
like hey man I've really had that would you like to go out with the mic holding or go I've had one a place that was so
00:03:58
freaking big yeah the stage was so huge we're talking 10,000 they introduced me
00:04:05
smattering by the time I get to the mic it's dead silence what's up why are you
00:04:11
MGM Grand these are fun though it's fun tickets are going fast they always say
00:04:18
that oh yeah to Fantasy Springs it'll be fun to see us then we might do a Q&A at the end just oh we'll definitely do
00:04:25
stand up and then we'll come out together and do Q&A get some q's and A's out of the way there's really to hot
00:04:32
takes hot takes I didn't even get to the part about Diddy's lawyer quitting Diddy's lawyer quit Dan I don't
00:04:38
know if you've been keeping up with this did he did Diddy's lawyer take a shower
00:04:43
get get all fluffed and folded and then call someone to quit or did he quit and then take a shower just to get the why
00:04:50
did he do a a press release I don't know did he do a press conference I just
00:04:55
think it's odd that he's quitting because he also handled Osama bin Laden so he's had some rough personalities
00:05:03
let's say there was Hitler it's supposedly Hitler's great-grandson he represented uh till of the Hun uh was a
00:05:11
was a great great great great grandfather he represented he some some Rascals he
00:05:17
represented represented Epstein P Diddy the unibomber uh Ted Bundy he
00:05:25
represented him this guy's a be uh that whis the Son of Sam to kill
00:05:31
people he handled the dog for a while any I wish him all the best we have a
00:05:36
due process in America so why do I feel like Sarah Sherman will not be able to figure out how to do this she's running
00:05:42
late which is so funny she goes I I'm five away I'm on the train I'm like you're on the train to Rockefeller
00:05:48
Center and you think you're five away Sarah is a fashion plate and really is a
00:05:54
creative dresser which I love she comes in in Circus outfits every day when I was out there in the fall and made me
00:06:01
laugh every time stripy pants big clown shoes so she can't just throw on some
00:06:07
what is she doing that boo routine on the train and everyone's like she's
00:06:13
juggling where is she she not taking a train to a podcast Studio hopefully God
00:06:19
Greg can you hit her yeah she goes I'm gonna do it from work now I go well no [ __ ] she's in every sketch you mean
00:06:24
Rockefeller Center on the floor I'm going to work where
00:06:30
Rockefeller Center at the 17th floor that's cool okay we covered Puff Daddy
00:06:37
we covered oh you had something planned that I step all over you no I just wanted to give a story that his lawyer
00:06:43
quit and I was like it must be either he heard something that was a
00:06:48
little too rough and just said oh I got to tap out because why does a lawyer quit you
00:06:54
already know he's a he's a rascal when you get in there I I don't know what going on but I was there was a video on
00:07:01
Daily Mail of the lawyer offloading hundreds and hundreds of bottles of baby
00:07:07
oil into the back of his Lincoln Town Car is he gonna sell them on Amazon hold
00:07:13
I just told her to jump on of course you can't follow that at all we have to keep all this this is how
00:07:18
hard it is to have a guest she's like can you move it earlier for me so I said of course and then she goes I'll be late
00:07:27
I didn't we move it earlier but honestly I don't care I don't care at all I don't care at all I
00:07:33
don't even bring it up I don't say anything I know well well she's she's a friend of the podcast because this
00:07:39
friend of the show friend of
00:07:44
the that's Lauren Lauren used to be a yodler in Bavaria when he was going to
00:07:52
college he goes show Cola remember when we did Reco was that
00:07:59
Rob Schneider sketch reca were you in that no did you do a recola sketch it
00:08:05
was some kind of comedy thing we had big horn Rea I can't remember funny look the
00:08:10
angle of it I think you were in that one funny look is half the well we we talked
00:08:15
about Fantasy Springs you can that shows in March we can talk about I was going
00:08:22
to ask her no I have stuff for her I have stuff to ask her some
00:08:28
hard-hitting questions well let's do a few headlines and then we'll jump in oh is Greg even available to do this
00:08:34
because he's dealing with Sarah doesn't know what clown
00:08:39
suit I will tell you this new James Bond thing who will Amazon cast as James Bond
00:08:45
for our so the trick is James Bond they
00:08:50
keep you know the every they've got this great thing where everyone wonders who
00:08:55
will be James Bond and then it's like 10 years in between everyone just wonders wonders every guy that's got a little
00:09:01
heat on him is he the new James Bond so it helps the brand I guess Amazon finally just bought him out totally and
00:09:08
said enough but my worry I love Amazon my I will be on Amazon this year Amazon
00:09:14
is great the uh James Bond world it's like when Disney bought
00:09:21
Star Wars now there's 80 different Star Wars so now it's like baby Yoda James
00:09:27
Bond there will be a prequel there'll be a young James Bond there'll be young James Bond there it is right there boom
00:09:34
right there done and I could play it I don't have to I could play it it's like they did with they they
00:09:40
went after George Lucas who invented Star Wars and they dangled four billion and next thing you know there's like 29
00:09:47
of them so now Amazon probably bought this for a couple billion so I think
00:09:52
it's a billion even but you know what you give me a billion you can have Joe Dirt the high school years you can have
00:09:57
yeah Dicky Robert present day you want they could have church
00:10:04
young church lady the church girl they can have they could have church man
00:10:10
after what happened Church man Church woman becomes a man good night yeah um
00:10:17
ah where is she but anyway James Bond forget her also in the same vain forget
00:10:24
her has made me sad rip Jean Hackman they guys a stud
00:10:30
and uh oddly passed away in an odd fashion yeah and um but I will say just focusing
00:10:38
on the fact that one of my all-time favorites I don't know if that's shocking or not but he always had a lightness to his performance even drama
00:10:45
he'd laugh a little bit he'd always be juggling peanuts and laughing I started with the Poseidon Venture with that guy
00:10:50
and then oh yeah rote it all the way out there's got to be a morning after oh no
00:10:56
we've got breaking news breaking news I love the dressing rooms of the young
00:11:02
[Music]
00:11:11
cast it's I you know my big theory is that I'm afraid there's like a chemical
00:11:16
in here that I'm inhaling and it's like G to kill me for sure well when you walked into that this is your office on
00:11:22
8 or your dressing room at 8h this is my dressing room yeah it's on all that you
00:11:28
and it was just PL yes okay yes but you all do that you all
00:11:33
do that you you young people did you guys not nothing in there nothing on my
00:11:39
wall were you just like always worried you were gonna get fired so like why I don't think it was dedicated to us seemed like other people used it or
00:11:45
something but James Austin Johnson's is incredible Heidi Heidi I stayed in Heidi
00:11:51
for the 50th it was it was more than Sarah's shockingly I know mine's like
00:11:56
claustrophobic well I got a [ __ ] small ass [ __ ] room you know ID's got
00:12:01
a big one actually you know Sarah she's she's sort of tiny and we'll put her in
00:12:07
the tiny room microscopic you know Lauren never said to me David um I'd like you to Z up your dressing room it's
00:12:15
depressing oh well you could hge up your little area you've got like nothing on the walls there Jesus we have nothing
00:12:22
look at Dana's house it's Stark there's like a killing going on I know I'm not a consumer the economy would go to hell in
00:12:28
a basket if everyone was me I stole this from a shoot $5 sto if I don't wear
00:12:35
these you're all blurry um Jesus I want to ask some serious questions Sarah I do too you
00:12:42
know we missed you I know well a lot of people got that flu and it lingered yeah
00:12:49
and then by the way everyone got Co Is that real or is that for PR effect no
00:12:56
they got it all right Rudolph get the poof flu oh was it the
00:13:02
poop one I don't know no it's fatigue and coughing and achy
00:13:11
and so oh wait I flew back with Maya look at me strong on your private jets
00:13:17
bade no we were Southwest through
00:13:22
Houston yeah no I jumped on with Andy Samberg and Kristen W it was so fun dude
00:13:28
this picture just laughing the whole time it's so fun arm why do you have skateboards behind you because I'm
00:13:34
[ __ ] cool and [ __ ] well someone point out you're looking at Bruce Lee's nipple
00:13:39
the entire time that's right why Focus I gotta lower that look it says Spade on
00:13:45
the side though is that supposedly a picture of you because we don't see Bruce Lee's head no I got that as a gift
00:13:51
from somebody you know and I said out and I put up because everybody except Sarah wait whoa Spade got a crazy new
00:13:59
haircut kind of oh you see my mullet look at this [ __ ] that's cool the
00:14:05
movieovie it's for the movie and then we had to we I had to wear the wig over so
00:14:11
I to get this rid of the sides and then the back I had to pin up because it's getting too long you like that back Sarah dirt 3000 dirt
00:14:19
3000 Sarah I have a legit question what
00:14:24
and I have a question want because I'm I'm having a sense memory kind of a buzz
00:14:29
right now cuz this is my Matt Gates and this is my hunter Biden and I got a
00:14:34
dress on and you guys are kicking ass I legit feel like I beefed that Matt
00:14:42
Gates bad no no it was a HR why would you think that I was sitting there
00:14:48
thinking she's being funny and yeah all you have to is look at the camera like this I know but then I was like and then
00:14:56
I I I looked at the camera and then when I open my mouth it like falls apart no you you've been working on your
00:15:01
Bloomberg I think I saw that on the 50th you like how they built in the like you
00:15:07
know because it's like John Malena comes up to me and he's like hey Michael Bloomberg and I'm like hi I'm Jewish and
00:15:13
then it had built into the script his line after to be like yeah nice
00:15:19
impression because he like already knew it was gonna be [ __ ] they gave you in a BAL cap you and
00:15:24
Kate McKinnon I walked behind her thinking it was you so I was going to like give her a kidney Punch or something and I grabbed her and I go oh
00:15:30
and she has a bald cap on looks just like you I go you're not Sarah are you she's like it's Kate I go oh my God you
00:15:37
guys look exactly the same by the way watch this Sarah is it true you have Lauren's text and I know that you abuse
00:15:42
it you're like in rehearsal going Lauren do you know if McDonald's delivers FR for real I was legit thinking about
00:15:49
texting him today say what I want I I
00:15:54
want someone to post really badly oh and you're gonna push for it should I just like him and be like yo like who's the
00:16:01
host this week because we come out oh it's Shane right Shane Shane Shane which Shane Gillis oh the Shane Gillis wake up
00:16:10
Dana wake up yes I know you're in your decorist monk
00:16:16
cell yeah Boomer I know you guys like to things I
00:16:22
mean if you ever been in Spade's closet he's like 9,000 Rox cashmere Lamborghini
00:16:29
no it's like jacket man no I have maybe 9,000 jackets and I
00:16:35
don't even wear them a lot that's so okay it's okay bud hey Sarah did you see
00:16:40
Keith Richards that day at the 50th I never saw him I I never saw him my dad
00:16:45
called me at like 9 in the morning the next day and I was so hung hung over those was blind and I don't even drink
00:16:51
but I was like I just met Paul McCartney I'm gonna get blacked out so my dad was
00:16:56
like did you did you meet Keith like for my dad's birthday me and my brother got him this giant like 4 foot by 4 foot
00:17:03
like Keith Richard's photo that's like hanging in his living room wow my dad loves Keith Richards and
00:17:09
like he was like did you meet him and I'm like no I don't know where he went he was in the audience but do you just you didn't see
00:17:16
him after no because I I had such a juicy spot next to Bill Murray and then Bill Murray didn't come into the
00:17:22
audience for his cutaway and I was like oh I wanted to [ __ ] with him the whole God dang three and a half hours
00:17:27
can I tell you guys what did to Paul McCartney please
00:17:33
okay I saw Jud talk Jud appow talking at
00:17:38
the after party I literally grabbed him by the Scruff of his back and I was like
00:17:45
Jud to Paul McCartney now and so and so
00:17:50
thank you Jud I owe you my life he was like Paul McCartney or Sherman and I was like hi Paul McCartney I know you can't
00:17:57
tell cuz my hair was in the this like crazy hair for party or whatever I was like Paul I know you can't tell from my
00:18:03
hairdo right now but I usually have a mullet like from your wings era and I
00:18:09
was actually listening to Temporary secretary in the shower today [ __ ] BL
00:18:15
when I wrote that you know I thought of a secretary you know typing away and I
00:18:20
you know sat down for a plun and I came out with it secretary and then they said hold on call it temporary nice to meet
00:18:28
you Freeman sh spur imagine all the people with temporar secretaris
00:18:36
imagine why is he doing John of wisdom let it be
00:18:44
La that was aw so you are a super fan and you were born after the year 2000 yeah you're like thank you for
00:18:51
saying years old older than that now how about this so here I go after the uh
00:18:56
Radio City concert thing and I'm supposed to meet Chris for dinner and he goes now we're going to
00:19:02
the mark Hotel I go I thought we're going downtown he goes no just come here we got a seat for it so I go in
00:19:08
naturally Paul McCartney's there so it makes me even more sick can't get away from the guy can't get away from the guy
00:19:14
gu's too around too much so it's along my side is me and then Rock and then
00:19:20
Larry David and Paul right so now there's like 12 people so I can't really see him so now it's the sickening
00:19:26
cranking my head he doesn't I'm a plus one obviously so he's being very sweet
00:19:32
but it's hard to see him killing my neck and then every time he starts telling a story honestly about yesterday or
00:19:37
literally everything you wanted to hear from him the waiter was overh helping us there's like a team of seven and so SK
00:19:45
dropped huh new sketch just dropped oh here's a sketch because literally he
00:19:50
goes and the best thing about yesterday was and the guy's like coconut shrimp and he puts his arm in and I go yes
00:19:57
thank you that's for them and I look back and he goes and that's the whole story and with Let It Be and he's like who had potato skins and I'm like guy we
00:20:04
don't need to top off the waters for a few seconds literally it was like an assembly line of arms to block stories
00:20:10
and I'm like guy guy I just want to hear this guy say literally anything I'm a contest winner and nope nope couldn't
00:20:17
shut up couldn't stop they're all like this starting Gates that guy's water's down a quarter
00:20:23
in your karma points were low God was [ __ ] with you hard did hear some bits
00:20:30
and pieces and I couldn't have been it was the funnest time of the whole thing of the whole
00:20:35
weekend um Dana I wish you were there but also I feel like you got the most
00:20:41
fun experience of the 50th because watching it at home no just like the 50th just coming
00:20:48
and like hanging out with us like it's like at the 50th you didn't get to like actually talk to
00:20:53
anyone uh the everywhere but nowhere effect of a big party is like that
00:20:59
you know and but was it this is your first how did you feel Lauren was
00:21:06
processing it because he looked almost solemn on the good nights and I was just
00:21:11
thinking randomly like he's the one that has this emotional thing going on
00:21:17
because it is almost like this is your life he's seen people from the 70s and it and the gush of emotion I I what was
00:21:25
the vibe at the good nights it was just I the good nights I was like I didn't want to even go on St like I didn't know
00:21:32
we had to go on stage and I felt overwhelmed I was like I like saw Ben Stiller and I like almost passed out I
00:21:39
was like I like couldn't I thought I my eyes started welling up with tears talking to him and I was like I look
00:21:45
insane I look like a crackhead yeah but like I saw Lauren after and he looked so
00:21:51
stoked I think he like oh yeah I think the show was great and like he
00:21:59
I can't really remember what he said to me right after but it was something like you get it now right like you get why
00:22:04
the show is awesome and I was like oh good I think he was fighting back tears I think in a way by just being kind of
00:22:12
holding like a whole history of your life and everyone's there it's almost like a birthday party and then everyone
00:22:17
says you're oh it's going to be 50th no one says anything about after the 50th so it's like now what when we went back
00:22:23
to work on Monday it was like we were all like we're still here it it was odd
00:22:28
yeah it was just like a finale or something and we were all like hello everyone I think it's like I think it's
00:22:35
composure like him at the end because it's like you know if he was up there being
00:22:40
like what's good suck it like that would have been weird you know or him just
00:22:46
just like it's more like tears coming down his you know what I mean and hugging everybody or you know because
00:22:52
it's like he there was a long time ago it was going to be he's gonna the 50th
00:22:59
and retire and then it was announced he's going to continue on so I think he's probably we did that and now we we
00:23:05
go back shaning you know we moved um um um the table read from the big scary
00:23:13
stage to 17 oh you went back upstairs and I totally get it now it's amazing
00:23:19
it's like sleepover Vibes oh it's crazy in there yeah they got a one window cracked open getting hot so I always by
00:23:28
the way the stage Sarah at the good nights Dana was like a crowded Subway like once you got on there you couldn't
00:23:34
get off cuz everyone smashed Sarah and SP I just see one hand coming up going
00:23:40
Sarah help help I was drowning no someone picked me up I do not like to get picked up I'll tell that right now
00:23:46
and it cracked my no adult human man should be T don't pick me up and and I'm
00:23:51
I'm not gonna say names but you have to be a little more famous if you're going to pick me up at the good nights at the
00:23:57
15th you cannot if it's Paul give me a ladder I'll get on your shoulders that's fine wait can you telepathically
00:24:03
communicate I will tell you right after this and I didn't like it so I walked off the stage and who' I run into Kim K
00:24:10
doesn't even go on stage I go go take my spot she's like I feel weird going up
00:24:15
there I'm like listen I felt weird going up there it was like every like it was like the [ __ ] Mount Rushmore of
00:24:22
Comedy yeah I said Sarah's up there I mean I guess they're letting everybody go up there so just go I I was I
00:24:27
couldn't be so in the back I was in a different building I like that the oldies are gone
00:24:34
I mean like me coming in with Jim Gaff again no I'm not even joking like I
00:24:42
legit I I no I liked when you were there I want you to come back again like that
00:24:49
was really fun I thought I did uh not just for this podcast especially fond
00:24:54
they I can be sentimental of all of you uh every single cast member had such a
00:25:01
sweet uh sincere all of all of you every single one of you and uh every time I saw you
00:25:09
come down the hallway I was happy because you were in some other different kind of clothes you didn't know you were
00:25:14
like I didn't know you actually dressed like that I was like yeah but you don't refer to it you're not wearing it you're
00:25:20
just showing up very casually and you've got pink striped pants on clown shoes and some and yet you're just talking
00:25:26
like okay yeah what about when you dress like a normal person the sketches I'm like who is this person that's like the
00:25:32
most fun part of the job oh is like it's just like because that is Halloween by
00:25:39
the way we have a hot uh question for you where was Sydney Sweeney your best friend from Hooters because Hooters
00:25:44
closed so we thought of you oh someone should sh someone give me her
00:25:51
number and I text her or something what happened oh look at you guys
00:25:58
that was awesome oh look I love being the fugliest [ __ ] in the picture
00:26:04
Jesus I don't know take picture next to Sydney Sweeney my God I don't know swey
00:26:11
Jew next to the woman who's famous for being Gorgeous I'll see I behind her at
00:26:17
a at a Rangers hockey game you saw her did were you yapping with her I was like
00:26:23
hi and I was with my brother did someone tell you to pose like that because it was kind of perfect
00:26:29
we we were just like in the in the mind body and spirit of Hooters wait just wait what happened at the game you
00:26:34
introduced everybody to her I like she I walked into the sport room or whatever and she was
00:26:43
like Hey Sarah am I I was with my brother and my dad and my brother was like oh my [ __ ]
00:26:48
god like like some
00:26:53
orc by the way hockey is amazing you don't know anything you have a hockey
00:26:58
haircut you don't know about hockey I know I didn't know well cuz I saw they were like beating the [ __ ] out of each
00:27:04
other and I was like you someone gonna do something something oh that's like the whole game the whole game she's like
00:27:11
why do someone pick up the puck and throw it it it go faster were you at the game when it was
00:27:17
Canada and they started beating the [ __ ] out of each other immediately first time
00:27:22
eight fights in no three fights in nine seconds America versus Canada right
00:27:29
listen if if any hockey players are listening right now I'm not single but call me interesting so what is it about
00:27:37
a man on Ice yeah what is it that get you because they're just dudes and they all get get in fights they like I just
00:27:45
can't believe they really hit each other in the face for real it's like you don't even really do that in like boxing do
00:27:51
you no it's it's pretty violent and a fist fight on skates is also
00:27:57
entertaining yeah you're on like your shoes are knives and you're punching each other your shoes
00:28:02
are knives that's true there's no kicking allowed what oh let's talk more
00:28:07
quickly before we dump you what about your um the sketch we did together was
00:28:13
fun that was fun we did New York musical it was called and Colin joany wrote
00:28:20
it and Spade did the same thing when he was getting Lo drowning in a SE of people he go Sarah help where are you
00:28:27
and then you could see him crawl his way to the front of a group at the end in that last right they told me they go why
00:28:33
are you not at the singing at the end I go oh I don't know what I'm supposed to do I'm just sitting in the audience at that point they go no get back up there
00:28:40
and grab a flag and I I just hear him in the back going Sarah help
00:28:45
help drag you no I stood next to you and I go they go stand right there and Sarah will tell you what to do I go she
00:28:51
doesn't know anything it's so crazy how little that Dana that's like I why I
00:28:56
liked when you would come because it's like I I think there's this like being my fourth year it's like
00:29:04
there's some misconception that I would be like I would know how to do the job or whatever so it's nice having you
00:29:09
there it's like no this guy knows how to do it Dana knows what he's doing I don't know about that but it is fourth year is
00:29:15
a pivotal year I think in terms of confidence you know kind of takes a
00:29:20
while to get used to it but you seem very composed and funny out there and I
00:29:26
think I think you're popping she's Pop I had a i this is dorky but I
00:29:31
got this like Aura ring that like because I'm a hypochondriac and it like tells you like I was interested in that
00:29:39
yeah yeah it don't do it because it turns you into a basket case but because
00:29:44
we moved for the listeners at home who don't know we moved the table read to a smaller more intimate room and it really
00:29:51
[ __ ] scared the [ __ ] out I got really nervous because like table read is the scariest part for me because I feel like
00:29:57
you're like auditioning in front of all of your like nering asell you are all these things are true you are they're
00:30:02
all judging they are we used to be in this big room where you're really far from people so if you bombed you can
00:30:08
just like slowly sink into your chair and then like disappear but like this room was really small and so like all of
00:30:14
your mistakes feel like inescapable or something and I was so terrified that
00:30:20
when I I checked my like ordering app and it said that I was like it basically asked me if I was running an 8 hour
00:30:26
marathon because I was like full was like 120 sitting in a chair for
00:30:32
like seven hours straight there's people behind you just up your ass like we were stacked they're right behind you in
00:30:38
chairs and then you're at the table like this oh I can't move it's and like I I
00:30:43
don't know like I feel my my instinct is to just like jump up and flail around but that's not the vibe of that no don't
00:30:49
don't do that it's it's kind of a death n to get up near the piano and sing a song the only thing you get you get the
00:30:55
pressure but it's a comedy compression room is so tight and the ceiling is so low compared to 8h where the show is
00:31:03
that you get the laughs are big but I really liked it because like stuff like you know a Ashley Padilla who's like
00:31:11
it's her first season like you know we've worked together less like I used to be really really far from her at
00:31:18
table read and it's like maybe I got to get my eyes checked but I'm like I can't see or hear anything and then yesterday
00:31:25
I got to like see her like up close do like a lot of of really small subtle like facial expressions and stuff that
00:31:31
were really really really making me laugh that I think and I'm like I like
00:31:37
it it's just so much better like you get to actually like experience people's like little like micro choices and stuff
00:31:45
did you get your attitude checked hey by the way do you have a um do you have a seating chart in read through you know
00:31:52
it's like it's Lauren calling me I don't that's where I was no I was yeah wait
00:31:58
where's the host he's on the other side of Lauren and so I can like I have like
00:32:03
periphery vision of Lauren like while I'm doing my bit do you ever watch him
00:32:09
glaze over during his sketch he's like you're like Lauren he he laughs more at 17 I think
00:32:18
oh oh definitely yeah it's Shane Shane's funny are they calling you out to
00:32:23
rehearsal no but I have to turn the TV off because you can see like look at this [ __ ]
00:32:29
outfit are you a drag racer look what can we look forward to on the show yeah what's going on the
00:32:38
show to on the show without giving anything away because well I really hope my stuff doesn't get cut because I
00:32:43
really like hearing a million things every second and and you act like you're not which that's new though Spade that's
00:32:49
new that's new I used to have a lot of free time on Saturday when I first went
00:32:55
out there you were having a rough couple of weeks and You' stop me in the hallway and go yeah guys I got cut you know
00:33:02
whatever and then I saw the evolution where Sarah
00:33:08
Sherman oh she's leaving by the way I was gonna say you and Marcelo both go
00:33:14
here's my number and text me and then you go you both say by the way I don't really answer and I don't do I'm like um
00:33:22
this is this is your pitch to text you believe me I'm vibrant fun and interesting so if I text you it's
00:33:29
exciting for you I I literally pick up the phone if anything I pick up the phone oh
00:33:35
you mean if I call I don't think I ever call you though that's a big step I
00:33:41
would just pick it up that's too heavy portal I can't I can't be I can't be on
00:33:47
the phone all right go Marcel really doesn't answer I every time I have to I have to
00:33:54
call him and be like hello excuse me I'm speaking to you
00:33:59
Dana when I saw you and I was having a rough time in the first couple of weeks of the show it's this thing like I
00:34:05
wanted to respond to that because I think we can have something interesting to talk about SP go ahead the it's like
00:34:11
you know you have like for me like my summers are like I'm on tour and I'm
00:34:16
like doing my own stuff and the Readjustment period working again here
00:34:22
can be really intense like of course I don't know like you know what whatever
00:34:28
and and like Dana I like was like crawling on my I was like crawling on like like a single strand to Dana being
00:34:37
like help me what do I do God there's just no answers because it's so it's
00:34:43
such a pressure cooker and every week they go okay you just finished the show Shane Gillis what do you got you're like
00:34:48
what do I got I just got off the 50th but you at least you had a week off but what about when they're back to back to
00:34:54
back and new host AR under Grande what do you got you're like I mean starting from scratch I don't
00:34:59
know like and it's so much pressure like you know oh like Shane's a comedian
00:35:06
like [ __ ] I don't want him to think I'm not [ __ ] funny or like then it's
00:35:11
Lady Gaga next week and it's like I don't want Lady Gaga I think I'm a [ __ ] loser besides the fact that the job is
00:35:21
hard it's it's it's really like trying to catch the wind or something there is
00:35:26
just wanting to relax be centered don't get stuck on the card let the audience
00:35:32
know you're feeling their Vibe there's a lot of metrics that go into it and then sometimes it just happens and all of a
00:35:39
sudden you know you're on air and it's really working and you kind of float away you don't you don't feel the kind
00:35:46
of metrics of turn toward that person here's my card for this line so the
00:35:51
show's impossible and it's emotionally violent and it's ridiculous but that's why it's so [ __ ] compelling I can as
00:35:58
an outsider if the show's bombing and I'm watching a show truly not do well I'm just as entertained it's more
00:36:05
fun Roo for but see this is real there's no laugh track this is this sketch did
00:36:10
not work and we get to experience that no place that like it that's why I'm like [ __ ] there's so much of the so
00:36:19
much of Comedy right now is like on the phone and I'm
00:36:26
like y y don't know what it's like to F really put yourself out there and fail
00:36:33
in a big way you're meaning like a Tik Tok is shot edited tweaked filtered
00:36:39
totally there's no failure yeah yeah there's like you can bomb on the internet but you don't feel that in like
00:36:46
your marrow the same way you do not even close just because you get
00:36:53
less views no not the same also you're supp nothing like at all sweetheart it's
00:36:59
nothing like it but you're Dana you're like the Zen Buddha like I can't do that thing of
00:37:05
like going off card like I can't even switch from card to card in the middle of a line without getting like vertigo
00:37:11
and feeling like the horizon line has gone well I was FL with the church lady
00:37:17
that came in late and I was not I had not done that character in a while with guests and you're she's a traffic cop
00:37:24
you're bringing guests in and out and then they're switching your single shot back and forth that's why Lauren had
00:37:30
said between dress and a uh you're on the you're on the cards you look like you're on the cards I go because I am on
00:37:36
the cards I am reading them I'm reading yeah but America's on to that trick they're like yes we we know it's not
00:37:42
memorized even in my New York one I'm standing there [ __ ] around so much in rehearsal I forget to go by the way when
00:37:48
we really do this which card am I on what am I doing and malan's like uh you were you were effing around doing
00:37:54
rehearsal sneaking off sneak P Pete was texting and I'm like because you know
00:38:01
that uh military uh first ad or stage manager from the Marin he's like yeah
00:38:08
hey hey guys and at the end I go are there three Dumber cast members than us three right now he's like no you guys
00:38:14
don't listen you and he explains how to get off they're goingon to push this in Nathan Lane runs out you got it I'm like
00:38:19
yep and then we all do it wrong and he goes guys you're not doing it and I'm like I know it's not sinking in and and
00:38:26
I go Pete's got his phone and we didn't have phones and I said that must drive everyone extra crazy you
00:38:32
know what sucks I don't bring my phone to the floor because I want to like focus and be present but then I don't
00:38:37
have any pictures or my entire experience on Saturday I and I when I
00:38:43
joined the show I saw Jimmy F Fallon in the hallway and he was like you have to keep a journal and I'm like I'm not
00:38:49
[ __ ] doing that and I'm like wish I did don't remember a thing didn't take a
00:38:55
rehearsals are the most fun Journal is a great idea but I would never have the presence of mine to do I would think
00:39:00
that will jinx it journaling it'll Jinx The Show by the way just have a quick announcement before we get rid of Sarah
00:39:07
um stop threatening to get rid she's got a show to do how many
00:39:12
things are you in yeah Sarah I me a couple things but like you know how it goes sometimes you're like legit in like
00:39:20
seven things boy like there was a show a couple weeks
00:39:25
ago where I was like all my sketches were cut and then my part was cut out of
00:39:34
oh sketches yeah and so like at the end of the day you're in one thing and I'm like I was like coming in like I
00:39:40
thinking I'm the hot [ __ ] with like eight things why don't you do an update where you just talk about
00:39:48
legins I was legit in the show this week and I was legit worried about it and
00:39:54
he's like I don't even know what legit means anymore just go up to Shane and go g golly Mr Gillis I I I sure am a fan of
00:40:02
what you do out there you got so many funny voices I can't even keep track of them I'm Sarah
00:40:08
Sherman hey Mr killis um can I please have some more jokes
00:40:16
please Oliver the street Ur of SNL going up to ryers going please Mr Sher can I
00:40:24
have some more lines please there's your you put this in next week yeah put that
00:40:29
in just everything please Mr Sketch man write me a sketch and then someone comes
00:40:35
out dressed as a sketch yeah someone comes out dressed as Santa Claus or you come on dressed as a sketch on update
00:40:42
just have a big thing and you oh I have a really I don't want to say it on the
00:40:48
podcast because I really want to do it this one we can edit it out here's a here's a
00:40:54
note to Greg the producer I think you guys have to edit out when the full Tate
00:40:59
McCrae performance was happening on the mirror I didn't even see it I know just blur it or something oh I see it we're
00:41:07
looking at you dingdong we can cut it out your viewers at home Eagle ey oh
00:41:13
look at this quarter inch most with no sound our demographic is 72 that's yeah
00:41:21
and my mom shout out to my mom she watch oh what's her first name Robin
00:41:27
you have a lovely daughter you have a lovely daughter imagine your daughter had a normal haircut imagine no it's a
00:41:34
good haircut so quickly before Sarah before Sarah stays
00:41:40
longer you can I don't care if you overstay you're welcome she's liveed in the show so my tour they go you have to
00:41:48
have a name for your dumb next standup tour like Sarah you probably a name for yours do you yeah live and In the Flesh
00:41:54
of course so uh I thought it was Sarah squirm come catch some
00:42:00
germs but anyway so mine was I don't have one I can't think of anything Dopey enough still don't and and they go we're
00:42:06
extending you one week and then we got to put it out there so it was the day I got home from SNL and and so they go
00:42:12
what is it I can't think and I go I got a feel for this I got a feel for it
00:42:18
because that was people really huh it was really funny because people were
00:42:23
like oh I like when you're in the audience and you go I got a feel for it and then I go just say that oh you're taking the line from the SN making the
00:42:31
Tyler's vetal that's going to is like the most spay thing ever that was a good
00:42:36
idea to throw me in the audience because it was such a long sketch to like could I'm like this one's more about the
00:42:42
singing it's all good what was the line you said in the 15th again when they cut to you you let you left the sketch
00:42:48
obenson took a seat and yeah and they said where
00:42:53
Spade like first of all like they call me my real name spade and then he go he
00:42:59
goes he went in the audience he went back to the audience and then you just said what oh I said yeah I got a feel for it but you kind of went like that
00:43:06
with your hand yeah I go I got a that took me by surprise dismissive yeah
00:43:11
you're good at that I could I'm like I don't know how to be subtle much to everyone's
00:43:17
chrin it's like Spade's so good at that I don't know your Matt Gates had some subtlety whenever you were nonverbal
00:43:24
yeah when your eyes popped out of your head but it's not it's like cheating because I had my eyebrows like taped
00:43:31
triangularly like this I thought lat I didn't have time I
00:43:36
wanted to say how long have you been dressed as a Kling on because you really look like with the forehead you know the
00:43:43
lady should it was cling on it was on you got to go through life and all right
00:43:48
Sarah we're gonna let you go back to your rehearsal because you've been very sweet to hang out with all for the past
00:43:53
30 minutes he's like we're gonna I said we'll steal you for 30 minutes because
00:43:59
you're the most fun person and then we get back to us and the ratings plummet when you're gone it's very sweet the
00:44:05
relationship you two have David Sarah this we could get Sarah and Sarah Sherman was there we we were laughing
00:44:12
Sarah Sherman and I yeah I said Sarah was fun because I kind of you didn't even party dude we like
00:44:20
legit like I don't drink and then I got like so black out what did you drink for a non-drinker what did you drink
00:44:28
like legit anything anyone gave me go to a bar and be like what do you
00:44:34
want I'm like whatever you're having was blind for three days who was your squad that you were talking to I talked to you
00:44:39
when I was leaving and you were waiting by the door but you looked nice you had your hair all pixie up I know I did look
00:44:47
nice I want I didn't expect you to agree but okay go ahead who were you sitting at were you at the cool table or no it
00:44:53
was complicated Sarah it was three stories what they're like go to the fifth floor if you want to go to get some crab cakes
00:45:00
I'm like I kept going higher and higher going where's the fun part they're like higher I was like God dang there were
00:45:07
like five floors like at the plaza old bars at the pla like it was just like in
00:45:13
it was nuts I just saw everybody all week though if they didn't have three nights of stuff to do at the 40th that
00:45:20
was the party to go to because we only had that night and so everyone's like we're going to milk it all out but this
00:45:26
one we had a fun first night a fun second night then rehearsal was fun all day and so I had to get up and fly and I
00:45:33
was like I got I I got a feel oh you you did get feel for it he left as soon as I
00:45:38
walked in I was walking in he was like oh perfect that's my C to leave I feel bad when I hear how fun it was I feel
00:45:44
bad that I missed it no Dana I I'm telling you you got the more fun thing
00:45:50
because of the weekly hangout the weekly hangout yeah I really really experienced
00:45:58
the show with the new cast and people absolutely and I love being there with Gaffigan and Adam Samberg and my Rudolph
00:46:07
The Fab Four but I what I'm saying to you both now is that the only way for me
00:46:13
to make up with missing the 50th is to be there on the 60th
00:46:21
whoa with a tuck and a thing and a squeeze yeah all go the knife if could
00:46:27
come in at 83 and or two and kick ass Golden Slumbers F the night I mean that
00:46:35
made me cry that was sweet oh I was by you we were all about to Pile in for the good nights and uh he went into that and
00:46:43
once it was I was like oh snap he's bringing it and he did the guitar solo
00:46:48
in the middle this is side two Abby Ro for you neop fites and he did this trading guitar solos and then in the end
00:46:56
long you give is equal to the love you take that's not even
00:47:03
close you know when he came on when I was there and he did the Chris Farley Show and he goes and Chris goes do you
00:47:10
remember when you said the love you take is equal to love you make and he goes yes Chris and he
00:47:17
goes is that true goes was so funny I mean I guess I
00:47:22
would like to think what did I say to you when he was on stage I was like where's Ringo yeah you said something D peace and love
00:47:29
peace and love me Brothers Love Peace I did text Lauren uh after the fifth then
00:47:35
I texted him I think on Tuesday and just wanted to see his sense of the show what he was doing and then
00:47:42
he texted back and I he said because everyone's so obsessed with Blake Lively
00:47:47
balini he's going to appeal um his deposition is going to be thrown out I go well what about this Shane Gillis
00:47:54
show in the 50th and everything I think Lively is going to do a brief Discovery
00:47:59
phase um and she'll they may do an ADR which is sort of a way to settle the
00:48:05
dispute but what about the Shane Gillis show in the 50th the expok evidence is
00:48:11
going to be presented but I think be innocent there's a rumor Ryan took two
00:48:16
gift bags when he left he like because he just is like
00:48:22
that's what I really respect about him he's just like it it like he takes like every day
00:48:29
as it happens like it's like he doesn't think too much far forward because the show is so immediate so he's like really
00:48:35
like present you know what I mean and like I maybe this is spilling too much
00:48:41
tea but like at that like dinner I can't tell whatever there was
00:48:47
that like cocktail dinner thing and like the some exec was giving a speech about
00:48:53
how like they were offering to throw Lauren this like Giant party just for him and he was like it was like the
00:48:59
Friday before show and he was like no we got a show to do I'm not doing a party
00:49:05
and I was like respect this guy just cares about the the show he's like wants to get to work and do the show oh yeah I
00:49:11
mean that I I'm sure part of him let's get past the 50th and he wants to get back and he loves it and I I said to him
00:49:19
you're like an AI you've downloaded it you've downloaded the the the show so his blink Instinct about sketches and
00:49:27
it's a bit light a bit dare you know he lets he gives a loose rope to people to
00:49:33
want to do what they want to do but he's always dropping these little Danny Danny did a similar sketch but it's like that
00:49:40
thing of you know so but yeah it because Lauren is such a close like he keeps
00:49:46
some of his emotions close to his vest you kind of want to give him a hug or something or just grab him or or tell
00:49:52
him something very sentimental you know I hug him like a koala bear all the time I lock in
00:49:58
no you what about that speech Tina gave at that toast where she's like Lauren I'm going to give you a 50-year review
00:50:04
of your performance here yeah she's like you've missed five years out of 45
00:50:09
that's not horrible uh you've had 19,000
00:50:15
tarties she gave a great speech D imagine giving a like funny speech in front of like in an intimate room in
00:50:21
front of Like Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld like God chy Chevy hackled of
00:50:28
course go to my rewrite table now by the way say what I do have to go to my rewrite table now oh don't act like you
00:50:34
have to go anywhere oh good now we're okay yeah I have to let you guys go oh my God all right thanks for coming on
00:50:41
man it was very [Music]
00:50:52
interesting okay here we go this better be a good one let's see what it oh this is the fog I'm worried about oh have you
00:50:59
heard about the fog I've only seen the horror film about it I like it's I like it those are parasites and
00:51:06
bacteria is that true this is biological warfare this is nurburg nerenberg stuff
00:51:13
right parasites and this is Myrtle Beach South Carolina and it's February
00:51:21
2025 and this is being sprayed on us in the dark of night
00:51:27
right here go to the source tested by an independent lab out of Naples Florida and it's full of parasites and
00:51:34
bacteria and um this could very well be while all the TB cases are coming open
00:51:40
and um uh I that's I would go inside and call the police yeah I mean they're
00:51:47
saying they catch it in rainwater you can turn that off but they say they do
00:51:53
these reports on some of the stuff and they keep finding stuff in this fog and the rain I'm telling you if it's like the
00:51:58
Chemtrails all these things I read about if there's any truth to them people are
00:52:03
going to flip out I'm not even joking like not even like Hey we're mad it's like we're going to murk somebody if
00:52:09
those Chemtrails are real which I keep seeing stuff which makes me I kind of believe in him there I said it I kind of
00:52:14
believe him crazy person I believe also the Earth is square I'm not even a flat
00:52:20
earther I'm like a new one octagon I actually know someone who does not not
00:52:26
think we landed on the moon perfectly normal not insane adult yeah just no way
00:52:33
there's there's a lot of things about that there iffy there's 911 stuff if by the way you can flip me on anything you
00:52:39
show me a 30 second Tik Tok I'm like oh yeah I'm sold but some of it's pretty
00:52:45
compelling on different things some of it I go this is horeshit but there's a couple things out there where I go I I
00:52:50
want to ask questions what's going on it's a little tooo blurry like hey this was this way move it along and you go
00:52:56
yeah all your life then you go well we don't have any way to look into that we're just told one thing so let's go
00:53:01
back mhm and look at some stuff and you go yeah they were right or you go I
00:53:06
don't know did you see the thing where these people saw Bigfoot like literally in the forest and it's like [ __ ] it's
00:53:13
Bigfoot it's this giant hulking whatever across of a bear and a man or something
00:53:18
and then it ran off and they went up and it was kind of Muddy so they measured Bigfoot and it was like a size nine so
00:53:27
that's me so what does that mean call it's they call medium foot don't they call him
00:53:36
Bigfoot for 100 years they find out he's just a size eight and a half so is this
00:53:41
bitf foot I went a long way for that joke but
00:53:47
you did really that was a good journey I don't mind that I should have said size seven to make it more but nine is just a
00:53:53
regular average foot you know yeah you're right uh thanks when girls I tell
00:53:59
them like they go hey they get to my room they go you said you were 511 I go
00:54:05
I am they go why do you have cat stairs to your bed I go don't worry about it okay that's from the old that's from the
00:54:10
last guy Liv here cat stairs is fun I crawl up what do you I go they're not
00:54:16
cat stairs she goes okay kitty stairs I go yeah hey remember anybody out there
00:54:21
if you're on Tinder and you don't like your Heights just say you're 4 fo4
00:54:27
and then when the woman comes opens the door and goes you're a giant by the way no one's clicking on that one
00:54:33
unfortunately well if you're really charming and funny you say I'm 4 fo4 and then when they see you they're go my God
00:54:39
I I loved your personality and you're a giant never try to overrate yourself you know by the way are we going to cut this
00:54:45
part out and say that the Lauren thing do you want to address it or you just want to keep it the way it was
00:54:50
uh the way I don't know I don't I don't think I landed it that well no I mean
00:54:55
it's just keeping it alive though I think people are going to start to understand so what I was doing cuz now
00:55:02
this will Trend what I was doing was just we were talking so much and the world was talking so much about Ryan
00:55:07
Reynolds and black yeah Blake Lively lovely people I don't know them but I
00:55:13
just know them as entertainers and then um baldini I don't know his first name
00:55:19
you don't know his last name either is that is his name baldon baldon balini
00:55:25
something like so um the obsession with it and the Tabloid obsession with it got so silly
00:55:32
to me that I just pretended that I had texted Lauren right after the 50th um
00:55:37
Lauren how you feeling balini is gonna counter Su um but Lauren the 50s what
00:55:42
what do you what did you think of of Steve Martin's monologue um I think that they're going
00:55:48
to lawyer up I don't think Reynolds wants to settle you know so she was doing script tweaks on the movie yeah
00:55:55
this one bit hard on that one I thought you were kidding obviously and then when
00:56:02
I kept seeing articles about it I go oh we all all we do is talk about stupid things in the show it's
00:56:08
all I don't know you know I you can't tell if anything's really trending but for me the this the seriosity if that's
00:56:16
a real word that was taken it was deadline it was New York Post all online
00:56:21
it was people mag it was USA Today and so all online not saying but it was
00:56:26
really funny to me and I was just hoping that Lauren wasn't like what the [ __ ]
00:56:31
you know but I think he immediately would know it was a joke obviously he didn't say it it did sound kind of
00:56:37
ridiculous but it sounded kind of true also where you go maybe I don't know but uh that was I did like getting because
00:56:44
usually every week after the show airs we get some articles about something that we talked about the show we never know what it's like oh that that and
00:56:51
that one was there was a couple different things but that one was the most I heard about but uh it was still
00:56:57
funny all right one more let's do two more well let's not go over an hour I
00:57:03
know we're almost there all right Leonard DiCaprio to Star is evil can eval and a b piic directed by Daman
00:57:10
Jazelle um I love this because I think he's great and I loved evil Cano growing
00:57:17
up what a stud I was obsessed with evil canal in the analog days it' be wild
00:57:23
World of Sports on channel 7 and he was jump a Grand Canyon or 50 cars in Vegas
00:57:29
and he would fall school buses B Bob he come in hung over and even sometimes he'd say to him there's no way I can
00:57:36
make this so see at the hospital but I got to do it I signed up for it they're give me 20 grand or something and then
00:57:43
he does it and it's like the slow motion wipe out like at Caesar palace you're like oh my God he breaks 100 bones when
00:57:51
he's in his little Cape outfit and he's revving his motorcycle like it's a
00:57:58
[Music] it's like it's screaming but um wasn't
00:58:04
look this up Greg there was a evil coneval movie was it Bert RS or there was there wasn't an evil coneval movie I
00:58:13
believe and I don't know who starred in it but DiCaprio is always good so I think he
00:58:20
will plog him in yeah he uh he's kind of built like you know I think it'll be great and that director is actually
00:58:26
he's La Land right La La Land first man I think first man on the moon he did with okay here George Hamilton played
00:58:35
evil coneval okay I saw that in the theater in the 70s yeah I'd see it just
00:58:41
because I would be into anything all right I guess that's a good show I guess that's a good show Sarah Sherman was our
00:58:46
guest Sarah thank you Sarah David Spade uh you can see him everywhere where podcasts
00:58:52
are and spring Springtime for Fantasy Springs Fantasy Springs in Palm Springs
00:59:00
or India yep all right bye Dana we'll talk
00:59:06
later this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced
00:59:11
by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it
00:59:20
[Music]
