00:00:00
posting is scary one time on my back
00:00:01
house I got sick after during dress had
00:00:04
to lay down and Marcy I don't know if
00:00:06
you're there when Marcy she was of
00:00:08
course dramatic anyway and then freaking
00:00:11
out pounding on my door I was in that
00:00:12
little dressing room off of 8h the host
00:00:15
of the music are right there so I was in
00:00:17
there laying on the ground and uh I
00:00:18
threw up and then it was mid toward the
00:00:21
end of dress and I missed
00:00:23
two sketches and I just went in and then
00:00:24
they go so those got cut yeah the
00:00:27
writers are like [ __ ] awesome and
00:00:29
that's the worst awesome dude I got a
00:00:31
stink on it if we try to bring it back
00:00:33
next week for Michael Keaton and then a
00:00:35
little bit of bar Flex yeah and then I I
00:00:38
got up I mean hero is a strong word but
00:00:41
I got up and I did the show but um
00:00:48
I went out there and did a real C plus
00:00:51
episode I hosted twice I don't know if
00:00:53
anyone was better if you can consider
00:00:54
that I remember Adam was amazing my uh
00:00:56
monologue once and then he Waterboy open
00:00:59
and he had to fly back to LA and I was
00:01:01
and Lauren goes just do stand up and I'm
00:01:02
like it's not that [ __ ] I never even
00:01:04
go on anymore so I had to go do cold
00:01:07
stand up of like dogs are funny do you
00:01:10
know he made me do he or he made me he
00:01:12
asked me to do the warm-up for the
00:01:14
[ __ ] 40th anniversary oh he asked me
00:01:17
to because I because I had done it for
00:01:18
eight years that one that I was telling
00:01:20
you and again just straight up just just
00:01:21
being goofy you know I mean Don Pardo
00:01:23
would introduce me in here Jason's today
00:01:25
and I could give it up for Don Pardo the
00:01:27
man the myth the legend the only person
00:01:29
in this building that was quoted in the
00:01:30
Bible you know just doing all the jokes
00:01:32
like God said let there be light he
00:01:33
flipped the switch you know like the
00:01:34
corniest hackiest whatever but just
00:01:36
having fun right the audience is and
00:01:38
then that's all cast that 40. hey that's
00:01:41
what I said to him like he has Eric
00:01:42
Kenwood who's a buddy produced on the
00:01:44
show uh it was you know writer guy that
00:01:46
we wrote together all the time and I was
00:01:47
like what are you doing like like Sarah
00:01:50
Silverman's in the house you know
00:01:51
Chappelle Spade name check I was like I
00:01:54
was like all right these guys would all
00:01:55
kill like why me it just would you just
00:01:58
do it you know and so I so I do it and
00:02:01
it's fun is I eat so much [ __ ] I like
00:02:04
it's not good no one's listening it's
00:02:05
like 10 minutes before it's live and
00:02:07
you're looking out there and what I've
00:02:08
said is like it looked like the gatefold
00:02:10
of like Sergeant Pepper's the cover
00:02:12
everyone every person was famous every
00:02:15
person was famous and then famous on top
00:02:17
famous was talking to famous at some
00:02:18
point I was like you know said to Keith
00:02:20
Richards who was talking to Jack
00:02:21
Nicholson you know Keith Jack I think if
00:02:23
you guys sit down people will start to
00:02:25
follow along and it's just no nothing
00:02:27
nothing and I'm like so I'm not bummed
00:02:30
I'm just laughing about I look out on
00:02:32
the crowd Galifianakis is crying with
00:02:34
laughter about how much [ __ ] I'm eating
00:02:36
yeah one then comes up to me says says
00:02:39
uh you know do you want me to like off
00:02:40
my do you want me to introduce you
00:02:42
settle them down I was like yes please I
00:02:44
go yeah man like that would help and he
00:02:46
starts to go up to the mic I go hold on
00:02:48
let me introduce you I go ladies and
00:02:50
gentlemen really quick let's give it up
00:02:51
for the man none of us would be here
00:02:53
without him the one and only please put
00:02:54
your hands together for Mr Dick Ebersole
00:02:56
and I do and I make that joke and as I
00:02:58
do that Bill Murray walks right in front
00:02:59
of me looks up at me and gives me a
00:03:01
little thumbs up
00:03:02
that's why you say yes to this kid
00:03:05
says you know everybody quiets down a
00:03:07
little bit and then I got about 30
00:03:09
seconds to just say hey everybody have
00:03:10
fun tonight you know like you did before
00:03:12
they got loud again before the real show
00:03:14
started but that was just Mayhem
00:03:16
dressing room I think I was just hanging
00:03:18
out in the hallway or something my my
00:03:20
mouth gets dry just thinking about it
00:03:22
stargazing here we turn into is like
00:03:24
somebody I got to meet Eddie Murphy that
00:03:26
night I got like it was like but to do
00:03:28
Chappelle asked me where can I smoke a
00:03:30
cigarette yeah I wasn't sure I don't
00:03:33
think you can what about a vape because
00:03:35
I don't like them
