00:00:00
[Music] people want to watch a baseball game
00:00:06
they don't want to see a g yeah like this you're getting yelled at by the Umpire you have a boner he's like I
00:00:12
don't know I'm nervous why do you want see through pants I don't want anyone to see my
00:00:22
anything this just in right before I got on this Zoom Oprah Winfrey has stepped
00:00:28
down from the board Bo of Weight Watchers after you know coming out as an
00:00:35
OIC user whoa and she said after 40 years heroically trying to fight it
00:00:42
Oprah 40 years she said it's not about will power it starts in the brain so
00:00:49
what are you going to do you're GNA wave food for a decade or just quiet down
00:00:54
that part of your brain that says cookie cookie cookie so anyway good on Oprah congratulations she stepped down off the
00:01:01
scale off the scale she doesn't need it anymore that's so crazy like when you're
00:01:06
at a party no there she is right now yeah you're at a party David you're just thinking Tito neat Tito neat Tito NE
00:01:13
cookie cookie Tito Tios yeah she's cookie cook cookie Tito but anyway she stepped down good
00:01:20
that was a nice fast grab on GRE part our producer put that image up you know
00:01:26
when I'm when I'm at a party I'm like um Tito Tito but it's usually because I'm
00:01:32
sitting with Tito Jackson from the Jackson so dumb why
00:01:37
does my forehead I'm thinking I'm thinking I'm thinking Corona Corona
00:01:42
because I'm sitting with Bob Corona there you go or B Billy superpuro
00:01:48
I don't I we have to do our framing this is just we're just a couple of
00:01:56
[ __ ] I think that was the number one comment liked yeah the shaking of can Li
00:02:04
earthquake well and again I should point out that that's a long bit that the
00:02:09
topper is where did the Japanese accent come from because for two million years
00:02:14
nobody had language everybody pointed and grunted and I happened to do the
00:02:20
Japanese the French one is that some french guy was sitting around talking to
00:02:26
people going pointing at the water and then that sort of cocky disdain came
00:02:31
through because they couldn't get it so that's where the French accet came
00:02:37
for my people the Scandinavians aren't very bright so they're
00:02:42
like so that's I mean I'm TR I'm just stay in the office let's go back to Oprah I'm so happy for her anyway ohic
00:02:52
she was she saying look I give up on trying I'm just taking a drug
00:02:58
now well or or you could call her medication my cholesterol was 6,000 until I took a pill it's just
00:03:06
progress it's progress you know it does help you from doing all the hard work
00:03:11
yeah it's it's the dopamine response is just talking to you talking to you and so you have to just White Knuckle it
00:03:18
rather than take a little a little pill David well food is fun come I agree food
00:03:24
is fun yeah you just you want to control it not have it control you that's the that's the T of my new book by the way
00:03:33
um so Biden comes out you know the White House doctor said he didn't give him a
00:03:39
cognitive test because he quote didn't need it and he's strong as an ox and ready to go no way no way the doctor he
00:03:48
hired yeah well no it's just but the it's not even Biden and that doctor what is the doctor supposed to say come out
00:03:55
to the Press what do you think of the leader of the Free World H not looking good man it's not uh not what I hop uh
00:04:03
can he make it I think so we're going to pack him in ice twice a day for circulation we'll give him an IV drip of
00:04:10
uh prevan and we'll probably get him in a special suit it'll inflate in case of
00:04:16
a fall and then we'll get a i AI chip in his head so he has cognitive po up
00:04:21
anyway he wears a suit that FL blows up when he falls down so he doesn't get yeah they have the technology to have a
00:04:29
suit that will just detect you know yeah yeah it's a great idea actually come on
00:04:35
I'm fit and able to carry out the duty so that kind of ends the whole Biden's not good enough strong enough and like
00:04:43
we're just not we just don't even believe our eyes the doctors I could give him an eyeball test I don't even
00:04:48
have to be a doctor I'm just like stay inside let someone else order for you at Wendy's and uh just relax well this this
00:04:57
is another rumor that I don't know if is true but by Biden and Trump were at the border today
00:05:03
actually and um I guess they kind of ran into each other and they decided to run
00:05:09
together because they're so hated so they've joined forces to run as
00:05:15
a nobody likes us Joe yeah we're GNA do it together two of us two of us will
00:05:21
over 40% of the vote we're going to do it together Joe we got to do it I won't even do the bit but anyway that's I like
00:05:28
it it was good out of bits no we don't do bits on this show we talk
00:05:35
we chat we laugh uh yeah I will tell you about my weekend I am I decide to
00:05:41
support the Arts I like to go to a movie at the Grove now and then and I go to
00:05:46
the Grove to see Argy now before you say anything I said you know Argy has cool
00:05:55
people in it I just saw the poster and I didn't even look that long I go I'm just going to see it that's how I do it I
00:06:00
don't watch the preview really I don't want to figure out the the three good parts of it I don't want to see those
00:06:06
cuz if it's bad I don't want to see the only good parts so I thought it looks cool I'll just see it so on a night off
00:06:13
I grab a buddy I said let's just go see Argy I've kept myself away from any information about it right so I go and
00:06:22
it's raining so I valet at the Grove and the guy goes Mr David what how long you
00:06:28
going to be and I said well I'm going to do dinner in a movie and he goes oh what movie and and before I say anything I
00:06:36
don't want any spoilers I don't want already bought the tickets just go yeah yeah I've already bought the tickets all
00:06:41
set up so I say oh I don't want to know anything and he goes no no and I go Argy
00:06:47
and he goes okay good good have fun and I'm like you
00:06:52
paused I don't want a glowing review but I don't a not review the not review was even worse he just goes
00:07:00
okay well have fun I'm like I don't like it right so then I go to Cheesecake
00:07:05
Factory and the same goddamn thing there's a waiter there that sees every movie and he always asks me but he knows
00:07:12
so he goes hey going to the movies tonight and I go yes but you know the deal and he goes mhm I he goes what are
00:07:18
you gonna see and I go Argy and he goes okay okay uh so you're going to have
00:07:26
you're going to have fun and I'm like it's sickening cuz now I'm already getting a Vibe right I'm already no
00:07:32
one's raving no one cuz I have before said oh I'm seeing Dune or something and
00:07:37
they go you're gonna love it I'm sorry you're gonna love it I'm sorry it'll be great I'll just insert this I've never
00:07:43
heard of Argy didn't wasn't it from it didn't it didn't jump off the chart
00:07:48
wasn't there Ben um I thought there was a movie called argile in 2008 Ben Affleck
00:07:55
directed but maybe not I don't know oh no that was our go okay all right so I'm
00:08:01
not so this is our guile which should have been Argo I liked Argo so the third
00:08:06
step of this is I'm going into the Grove and there's a bar there and I forgot they have a bar and so I'm a little bit
00:08:13
of a uhoh Suzie yeah so I go in I say I might have a few knocks so said you guys
00:08:20
got a yeah teos I go let me going okay so I just go [ __ ] I'm just going to grab
00:08:27
D Coke and drink on the I didn't even plan this you've already had a great time this is go it's the whole idea of
00:08:34
going to the movie is just fun I zone out so they go oh 20 bucks and this is
00:08:40
what happens Dana slow motion I go to sign the thing give that Hefty 2% tip
00:08:47
and then 20 she goes is it 20 now two is more than
00:08:54
enough I'm kidding so I go Dane I've been with you you give like 12 I tip a
00:09:01
lot I don't know I I grew up poor so you know I know I well I tip good so I said
00:09:06
I go here you go I'm Sig and I'm looking down and not paying attention she goes oh what movie you seeing I go AR and she
00:09:12
goes oof I go because I didn't give her any warning and I go what and she goes
00:09:18
that thing [ __ ] sucked I go God damn I was almost in the
00:09:23
theater and this person at a left field I go oh come on I'm going to see the movie you you can't say that to people
00:09:30
and she goes well I mean it's long why is that positive is that all you can
00:09:35
come up with it's long and then she goes it's good cinema you know it's a fun ride you want to have a fun ride well
00:09:43
well let me just insert this there's one thing worse than that and that's when
00:09:49
everyone says man [ __ ] man it's one of the best movies ever made I mean oh yeah they I
00:09:56
was in a theater with Dennis Miller in New York I may have said this on some podcast with you but right we're seeing
00:10:02
Field of Dreams which is a great movie with Kevin Cosner but as it goes down right as it goes down Dennis go one of
00:10:10
the best movies I've ever seen in my life car and then the whole in the beginning
00:10:15
I'm going is this the best movie I've ever seen it's really good so it's great they said it sucks so finish your story
00:10:20
because my suspicion is you loved it go ahead that kind of was the story it did
00:10:25
suck but it was It was kind of fun because I said now like you said I had I
00:10:32
knew I'd hate it and then I go it's not bad it's kind of goofy and stupid but it was more and that might have been my
00:10:39
lesson in life she undercut it took my legs out I walked in going I already
00:10:44
paid for the ticket come on Argo I know you're bad Argy and then I start to go
00:10:50
it's like listening to the song I go not bad so I okay expect but it was and it
00:10:56
cost like 200 quillion dollars I go that's why they're mad it wasn't bad but
00:11:02
for 200 listen here's my point about movies 99% of it because my guilty pre pleasure
00:11:10
was always 10 a.m. matinees you're in a dark room pitch black no one's around
00:11:15
you no one's talking you have to turn your phone off and then there's colored pictures and voices and things moving
00:11:22
around I like it that's that's just the one% the other thing is like okay I'm here I can't [ __ ] do anything because
00:11:28
every other second in life MH this is really this is a wisdom alert this thing controls you so it's so beautiful right
00:11:35
now it's off I checked it right before and I'll check it after hang on do you mind I don't sometimes even though I've
00:11:41
known you a long time I get just a tiny bit Star Struck can I just do a quick selfie just a big big David Spade smile
00:11:50
okay you take I thought you taking a selfie of yourself you had a really nice time I had a um problem well two things
00:11:59
happen I I I hike out on these desolate roads in the forest it's just me and
00:12:05
then you see all these cows and there are thousand pounds even though they're gentle but I didn't know how you're supposed to approach cows like 20 giant
00:12:11
cows and it's just me walking by myself so I start going wo clapping and whistling like their dogs and they
00:12:17
literally are so scared they dive off almost a cliff they're like down
00:12:23
these why so then I was told don't get eye contact with them now when I see a
00:12:29
whole bunch of them right on the road I just put my head down and I walk really slowly it's like a spy movie and I don't
00:12:36
want to hit a button or something and I go right past him it's been beautiful you basically have to act like a cow you
00:12:41
have to but then I saw a woman a middle-aged woman who was squatting with her trousers down behind a little tiny
00:12:49
little tiny tree and I come up on her no one's around you know what's up I was
00:12:54
trying to get by her how's it going what do you say she just she just Converses says what's up you hiking yeah going up
00:13:01
this way yeah I'll leave the gate open for you okay all right I I didn't see anything just some lady peing well
00:13:09
that's I didn't want to say peen but people in the woods David I mean you're always in a big city and you need the laboratory to yourself and your your
00:13:15
crew clears it out but in the woods you just do what you do that's right in the
00:13:21
woods you do what you do that's right I do have that I can't even relate Bobby Lee's out there excuse me just one
00:13:27
second Bobby Lee [Music]
00:13:38
so David Spade uh back right around when I met Mr Carvey he was a big famous
00:13:45
great comedian I thought he was great I liked all these guys Dennis Miller Kevin NE and I always say the same people but
00:13:51
I liked a lot of a lot of Comedians and yeah and then uh and we we liked you yeah everyone was cool everyone I was
00:13:58
new on David Spade I looked young um MH it's before the town got to me can I ask
00:14:05
you a professional question yeah how hard well first of all how long did it take you to get on the show because a
00:14:11
guy comes and sees you yeah and then he see you over a period of months and then he finally gave the green light or was
00:14:16
it pretty fast Jim mcau was a famous name in town and yeah it's not exactly
00:14:21
like that anymore but to be on the biggest show on network Tonight Show to be a comedian he has so much power and
00:14:28
he could just he's coming in The impro Improv everyone's like places everyone like macau's coming in tonight so
00:14:34
everyone's like y showtime and so he might see you accidentally he might come in to watch Leno or someone but he comes
00:14:41
in a little early he catches you so you just always ready he watched me we had it all set up he probably watched me
00:14:48
three times then they hone it I don't know if people know that take that out it's to dirty take that give me your
00:14:54
best six minutes no I wouldn't do that I actually told uh my managers back then I said you
00:15:02
know they said where's this joke I said well I'm going to save that for a second
00:15:08
appearance and they said don't save anything if you don't do well there's no second appearance give everything you
00:15:14
got yeah so let's we're going to play my tape so I finally make it he gives me a
00:15:20
date it's August I I don't have anything to wear I don't have a a stylist so I wear a flannel shirt I used to
00:15:25
skateboarding with no sleeves you were yeah young Surfer dude cable crew neck
00:15:30
sweater in August which is boiling hot it's like green I don't know I put my collar out like this no one's telling me
00:15:37
yes or no I just show up I drive myself I'm backstage I don't know what I'm doing yeah first thing I do when they
00:15:42
introduce me I go out and it's so shiny Dana that black stage yeah it's blinding
00:15:49
I'm I know my act so well and I can't think of anything I'm like oh my god I've only seen it this way I've never
00:15:54
seen the show that way I see a crowd all I think is that crowd is smaller this whole thing is smaller than I
00:16:01
thought and then it's shiny and the cameraman are looking at me like this and let's let people understand I didn't
00:16:08
mean to interrupt sorry but to go on The Tonight Show at that time it's like 40
00:16:13
million people or something I mean there's it it's it's really big it can
00:16:18
make or break you there's people go on that show next day people on the street going hey how you doing David Spades go ahead a lot of pressure sure more than I
00:16:25
mean anything would be pressure going on The Improv but now this is the night show so here I go they say go out let's
00:16:32
see I walk out so appearing with Dennis Miller and Steven wri August the 29th at the Riverbend Music Center August 30th
00:16:38
at po Creek in Chicago and this is his very first appearance with us would you welcome David SP
00:16:43
terrified here he is oh I'm okay stop it already stop why would
00:16:51
they put the mic up you like that they had six hours to lower it that's F
00:16:56
that's [ __ ] sabotaged man no I told him to oh oh it's part of your joke got
00:17:01
it yeah I told him to just to make it look like initially kind of a laugh no
00:17:07
it is funny good okay take everything oh [ __ ] but that's good you saw that by the
00:17:12
way a mic with a cord which they don't really have much anymore because they had a sweetheart deal at Radio Shack
00:17:19
with The Tonight Show I want to hear your first okay there's my cable crew neck sweater yeah there's my flannel
00:17:25
shirt thank you thank you much my name is David Spade and I'm 12 and
00:17:32
uh first time been here tonight show my mom just dropped me off she's said Sears and she'll be by later not much ride
00:17:39
okay God tell you about myself I'm from Arizona I moved out here thank you moved
00:17:45
out here last summer to see my mom she lives out here I need her to cut my steak up in little tiny pieces so I could eat it okay when I flow out here
00:17:51
it's kind of a drag because you know when you get on the plane flight attendant will always tell you the name of the pilot you know like anyone goes
00:17:57
oh he's good good love his work I like his work yeah
00:18:02
it's good that's a good joke I got more coach I never sit in first class think about coaches they don't want you to see the people in first class anymore that's
00:18:08
how much of a loser you are to them want to see them it's so sad you know steart just will come by and she'll pull the
00:18:14
little curtain Shut sorry you got them she bolts it then she comes by
00:18:20
later Tire gun whoa Tire gun it makes its first appearance oh look you you
00:18:27
were squeezing M so crowded we can't even Park the plane I've never under that situation
00:18:33
before every terminal is taken we're taxing around five 20 minutes finally we see some pilot and he's carrying his
00:18:38
keys right so we started following him around full of bit you know moving Applause break two minutes
00:18:46
he just getting something out of his plane so we can't park there so that sucked
00:18:52
then my mom picked me up and I wanted to go to the beach the first day you know but it felt kind of weird because I'm short and skinny what's worse they to
00:18:59
shave my chest for this movie I'm writing so I decided thrw that in good M
00:19:06
Direction tool around because I got a new car it's a it's not really new it's an old UPS truck but it's really nice
00:19:11
you know it's one of those brown ones it's great I got to I can park wherever I want to but here's the
00:19:17
thing over give you guys a tip when you're driving around don't ever let a pretty girl merge in front of your car
00:19:22
in the street because if you do they rarely pull over and have sex with you for it later rarely listen to
00:19:28
I don't remember this show getting confident they are working it don't let them you got to be tough I know it's
00:19:34
hard you know they're all pretty they got their hair pulled up like a little Fountain k k I need to get if I could no
00:19:43
you can't all right because there's no payoff sweetheart all right rude sweetheart me he looks
00:19:50
weak you're not get in front of the Accord but you lost me on this one a
00:19:57
little bit listen I almost forgot about this merge thing I feel some magic here
00:20:03
I've never felt this way about a boy really go ahead okay CH later you witch
00:20:08
yes sir happens to me five times a day it happens to me even the next day same
00:20:14
girl but she's got her hair different it's like over here now I'm go
00:20:19
ahead girls with scrunchies are evil physical little Ruff scrunchy they got
00:20:25
on the wrist to put their hair up don't trust them you never know when it's going up either what's going on what am
00:20:31
I doing what's happening hey maybe later we go what don't let talking an Applause on
00:20:38
that act out anywhere there's no rules there's no wrong way to do it they'll put one right here they don't care as long as it's up
00:20:44
baby either that or a chip clip you know off the Ruffles into the hair don't trust them wow don't trust them with the
00:20:51
chip clip they're with you man [ __ ] love it they're loving
00:20:57
you somebody's at the Gap today buying a shreder any
00:21:03
who weird weird throwaway joke so anyway that was risky I don't
00:21:10
trust these celebrity environmentalist vegetarians kind of bother me that force their views on me and make me feel super
00:21:17
guilty all the time you know I saw River Phoenix who's this actor with really cool hair and he's on Hollywood Boulevard like preaching to everybody
00:21:22
you know before hey don't wear shoes you cow killer hey man the Dolphins are all squired up in the tuna Nets it's heavy
00:21:29
buddy I'm like okay let me address this tuna thing I uh went to a deli the other day and tried to order a tuna sandwich
00:21:36
and the guy behind the counter got so mad at me you know I didn't think I was throwing a big curveball is a deli hi so
00:21:42
I go uh yeah can I have some tun in he's like what so outrageous I can't but I'm
00:21:48
like whoa whoa hey there's so many things wrong with your attitude like first of all you killed it right I'm just buying it off you man you're murder
00:21:54
one I'm just an accessory you're going down my friend hey I didn't order a big bowl of cream or rainforce don't freak
00:21:59
out on me I don't need it too much
00:22:05
pressure I pull back in the rainforest River thing you're killing I don't need River all carried away with this cool
00:22:11
hair hey man lights are squirting out of gas killing the ozone baby and don't wear Levis because the thread will come
00:22:18
out and choke a bird one day you bird killer Earth hater oone Hemer bigger
00:22:24
okay God slow down I think River s and relax right have a big old meatball
00:22:31
clear his head out my friends go you know he's going to hear that joke I want to fight you well
00:22:37
guess what he's got no protein in his system I will kick his butt all right I Had a Hammer every day I whale on him I
00:22:44
was just at Wendy's you don't want none of me nice that's it thank you oh that's the
00:22:49
closer I was just at Wendy's now watch this you're going
00:22:55
to so I leave oh
00:23:02
Johnny funny kid what he's to too nervous to even look over funny kid
00:23:08
David Spade we'll be right back Linda Hopkin I didn't even look at them I just left well look at Marty I know as a
00:23:17
fetus well what did you uh it seemed like you killed you started out uh they
00:23:22
liked you they hooked into you you got like three or four pluse breaks and then by the last 90 seconds you were louder
00:23:29
more aggressive I know I was yeah I mean not even like that's good no it wasn't that loud it's just that you you you
00:23:36
seem way more confident obviously you acclimated halfway through because the first minute is just like I'm on The
00:23:42
Tonight Show talking into a microphone right terrifying yeah uh the first three
00:23:48
I couldn't even hear the audience that was panic mode because you're like if
00:23:53
they're not buying the first three they slowly came to it and they're usually not nice because they're they're
00:23:58
supporting new comics on The Tonight Show they knew back then like it was kind of fun to see a new one but it took
00:24:05
them a while but they got into it and then I don't even remember these jokes I'm like I haven't seen this set for so
00:24:10
long so getting into that River Phoenix stuff obviously he passed away after that but it was still he was like the
00:24:17
guy they were making fun of because he was very vocal but yelling I got a hamburger there's like three in a row I
00:24:22
like I just had I have a hamburger every day I was just at Wendy's you don't want none of this that was like a good build
00:24:27
I don't remember that was my closure though it's like the problem is if you come out in those three jokes tighten up
00:24:34
not you but any comedian if the first three tighten them up and then the comedian stops having fun and they sense
00:24:40
it then the sule can just go down but you held your ground you know and it can get really bad and then so you held your
00:24:48
ground and kept going and then you I think probably within a minute you got an Applause break after that yeah I I
00:24:55
don't know if they knew what to do with me I think I I don't know if I look nervous but I'm just kind of quiet and
00:25:02
young and there you know back then it was Leno and Belzer and Richard Lewis and everyone rip and so it was they
00:25:11
weren't you they were sort of just going is this a joke because I was probably 24
00:25:17
or something I'm 23 I look like I was 20 well I I church I've never really to
00:25:26
really I've never really explained this but the church lady uh attitude came from what you were dealing with cuz
00:25:33
sometimes I'd go on stage when I was early days like 22 and I would hear people go like that I mean I had a real
00:25:40
baby face oh yeah for sure I I to to kind of get rid of that
00:25:46
tension I would do like wellow wellow wellow apparently they let little children into the theater tonight you
00:25:52
know that was the first way to to diffuse that attention I also used to do I know what you're thinking and I go all
00:25:58
boys wear half off I did kind of a Sears mannequin joke I don't know the quite the wording but so we both looked really
00:26:05
young and um if you know what you should bring your good lighting we look okay you should bring yours next week we
00:26:12
should look at it well the problem was the first time I was on the tonight's show was I was on
00:26:18
the couch well still it could be funny you talk about the stuff you were supposed to say but the the but the reason is
00:26:26
David mcau said you're just not right for the tonight's show there's nothing we can do with you CU I was just doing characters I had no jokes so I couldn't
00:26:34
get on the tonight's show he he was perfectly nice he said we can't put you on it just wouldn't work you don't have
00:26:40
it and you probably should look for some other form of work but then the I got on
00:26:46
SNL and then I got to go on so he never talks about the ones he missed on Johnny
00:26:51
was great and I think I've told I went backstage and I was so like sick so I
00:26:57
was slugging uh Pepto Bismol you know I had my shirt off MH the bo was like
00:27:02
blowing trees down I was so nervous I had like two friends there and you know you don't even have a hair P you just go
00:27:09
with your hair messy from driving with your windows open and that was kind of the Simplicity but there was a knock and it was Johnny and I think either Ed it
00:27:18
was one of the person with Ed or doc senson or Martin Short and I open it as [ __ ] Johnny and he goes hey you just
00:27:25
left uh I wanted to say good job he didn't look over and uh thanks for coming on and uh I was holding my Pepto
00:27:32
and I go oh my God that was so fun thank you so much and he goes Pepto I'm trying to quit this stuff myself and then he
00:27:40
walked away got a great what a great thing I know but I saw his hand up like
00:27:46
this and he was like waving I think if you'd looked he was gonna go like that oh come over like his hand was reached
00:27:52
out I think I'll bring him over if he looks I'm going to scoop scoop him up because M said
00:27:58
the guy that books it was right off cuz he said when you go out there you walk out you do your set and you turn you
00:28:05
walk back and I go what if Johnny sometimes he waves he's not I go oh he
00:28:10
goes just come and come right back to me I'll be right here go there's an x on the ground stand on that come back so I
00:28:17
come back to him and he goes what you look at Johnny he would have waved you over I go I did
00:28:24
so I know but yeah you that was that that was fun that was fun to watch that
00:28:29
was fun for me to watch because I haven't seen it uh the material was smart it was fun I mean you did do the
00:28:34
young thing I think it worked I think the first thing hello I'm 12 was funny I think the audience was still just kind
00:28:40
of getting who's this what acclimated yeah all right let's go to some headlines I'll say it what C uh F5 fo YN
00:28:52
I believe a star was [Laughter] born
00:28:57
[Music]
00:29:05
oh this is Shane Gillis on SNL okay here's our friend Shane Gillis oh my God
00:29:13
headline [Music] wow I cannot
00:29:19
say I cannot agree with that that's funny I mean I thought my personal I
00:29:27
didn't see it all In fairness actually I didn't see it and I don't know who he is but I have an opinion now I saw but you
00:29:34
you you've seen the movie Shane you've seen the the Western Shane from 1952
00:29:40
okay Joe D's name was Shane in the first iteration then we changed it uh but I
00:29:46
will say that Shane Gillis I thought his monologue was very interesting I'm not
00:29:51
going to get cancelled and say it was good or bad I'm just going to say I like that at least he shook it up he didn't
00:29:57
do a typical monologue he definitely was doing things that were wrong in quotes
00:30:03
and SNL the spirit of SNL is to do stuff like that so I will say
00:30:08
that he those also are themes that he works with h he uses the word gay uh in
00:30:17
2024 in a way that's not a pejorative or it's just sort of
00:30:23
oldfashioned of him that's like the 80s we would say stuff like that and not think about it or even the '90s
00:30:29
um and then of course the Down Syndrome thing is because he has relatives with Down syndrome and he's talked about that
00:30:36
a lot so he kind of he did he did Shane he did his he did what he did he didn't really change anything and um you could
00:30:45
either it's up for people to decide we're comedians we've seen and heard everything we've been beaten and left
00:30:51
for dead many times so we don't we're not easily offended we don't we don't automatically assume that he doesn't
00:30:58
like down syndrome people or gay people or anything he's saying uh it is comedy
00:31:05
and that's all I'm gonna say with that we have editing capability sorry some words have shock value but I I do think
00:31:12
and some of the sketches were good they pulled one that was about uh Liu emu
00:31:19
that commercial for insurance or something and that was really funny but they put online and it was kind of dumb
00:31:25
because people were like that one's really edgy you probably could have used that I was one of those
00:31:32
people now what are we seeing here what's up with major league b now moving on is Major League Baseball Dana they
00:31:40
got I guess they got all your emails they made seethrough pants for
00:31:45
the how I mean what are they doing I guilty is charge I just want to
00:31:53
hear the guy talking to the guy now you listening to me Jensen I hired you to make baseball clothes I didn't make I
00:32:00
didn't want me people want to watch a baseball game they don't want to see a g yeah like this you're getting yelled
00:32:08
at by the Umpire you have a boner he's like I don't know I'm nervous why do you want seethrough pants
00:32:14
I don't want anyone to see my anything how see-through how seethrough were they I mean I know you're probably looking at
00:32:20
these things at night so how I mean can we see shapes and bumps or are we counting pubes
00:32:28
yeah I hired you to make baseball CL clothes now you gave me a strip
00:32:34
show oh my God angry executive yelling what sorry Heather just
00:32:40
interrupted you held up a picture of a guy with his freaking Wang you can see his 100% wiener no yeah you can if you
00:32:50
use your imagination no it's pretty wangy sorry Heather you like
00:32:57
I didn't like when they apologize the the major league commissioner goes listen there's been a little problem we
00:33:04
didn't see this coming but a lot of guys um were you could see their
00:33:10
prongs um so and he kept using weird words well it's schol well maybe there
00:33:15
was maybe the baseball commissioner was well you're hired to make our new baseball uniforms and by the way uh is
00:33:22
there any chance you could make them kind of see through just a little bit it's for the
00:33:28
ladies Kanye's wife everything she wears is see-through she's like has a thong a
00:33:37
thong and a dog collar and an iron mask on she's just going out for dinner dude
00:33:42
that's on Sunday the other day she wore like uh what were they nylons with no
00:33:47
unies she's like hey you guys all know my [ __ ] he was on he was dragging her
00:33:53
through Roman she was on an oldfashioned stretcher from the 15 cent
00:33:59
like I want I want a drink when we get there Kanye it's your thing babe he's
00:34:05
behind her with a whip like it's art it's medieval [ __ ] man yeah it's
00:34:11
like Gladiator or something crazy but I don't judge as long as they're happy no no those two crazy kids they're having
00:34:18
fun okay here's another one oh there's a funny video I saw which one's this oh
00:34:23
this is Willie Wonka oh this is different okay wiie Wonka and an for repairs okay um this is how Hightech we
00:34:30
are we're literally just the internet okay willly won yeah explain this one
00:34:37
they they can read so anyway it was called an immersive experience experience everybody was excited because
00:34:44
that usually means some awesome Willy Wonka thing and it was just a partially decorated Warehouse as they say there
00:34:50
it's just it's so horribly bad and such a ripoff it's funny stuff can we see a
00:34:56
picture yeah let's see a picture so it's very Bleak and Stark and there's not really that much yeah look that's it oh my God
00:35:03
it's like it was in yeah it's like in Dresden 1942 or something it's like it's
00:35:09
like Berlin in 1945 all right well when you hear the budget was $200 it's not bad uh stay on
00:35:17
there Greg let me see what else is on that thing there's a big rainbow which scares off some people there's people
00:35:22
out there they go I'm out I'm out I cannot see AOW from the rainbow no but
00:35:28
there's people that you know get get a little tight oh I got you get a little what if
00:35:33
the people on the way to this exhibit kept asking people and they go oh yeah the Wonka thing okay just like what
00:35:39
happened to you at the movie theater really well even waiting in line
00:35:45
leave what's at the bottom of the rainbow uh clouds or marshmallows oh it
00:35:52
is clouds okay think it was a Picasso that
00:35:58
did those I remember the song you remember it I like candy I like candy
00:36:05
don't you like to eat candy boys and girls remember that song from the Gene Wilder one I just
00:36:12
whatever oh I like delicious toys I don't just I don't remember it very well
00:36:19
but I like the movie I like the one with Timmy shalam yeah I like an old man
00:36:24
going hey can I get seven kids in my house house is that cool with the parents could keep them overnight okay
00:36:30
we're doing Hans and France and a lot of Dennis let's go together okay go to the next one what's this next story oh this
00:36:37
I I wanted you to see this Dana this is so offensive you get a caricature you're
00:36:43
with your lovely date like what are they going to pick perfectly nice guy I don't know if we
00:36:50
need that blaring 30s can you turn that [ __ ]
00:36:55
down look at how [ __ ] loud it is my I
00:37:01
can't even focus look at her goddamn
00:37:07
face they look like Monsters I mean how [ __ ] rude his neck is 30 feet long
00:37:15
with eczema look how happy they
00:37:22
are holy [ __ ] they sit on their keys why are they I would be horrified first I'd
00:37:27
break up with her I'd rip it in half like
00:37:33
Pelosi okay volume my [Music]
00:37:44
God if you have questions or Impressions you can go to Superfly odyssey.com I
00:37:50
think that's it and uh uh red red neckies Impressions and any kind of
00:37:56
questions especially for David relationship advice because he's really we'll give you advice he's a natural
00:38:02
about life uh by the way um how to make money in the stock market I'm pretty
00:38:08
good at that jump on bitcoin it's not too late okay all right so let's see what here's an impression we're gonna
00:38:13
see Dana we'll give it our real opinion in real time someone this is Evan Chandler I thought with this guy did it
00:38:21
another guy with the same hat oh my God everyone's putting his [ __ ] hat hey
00:38:27
guys okay big fan uh on your last episode of Superfly
00:38:33
said we could submit some Impressions so I thought I'd give it a go get to it
00:38:38
trying to balance my phone on the steering wheel here all right this is
00:38:44
Laur doing an impression of Dana's dad
00:38:51
well Dana Christ I can't talk to you about
00:38:56
politics because you don't know [ __ ] all
00:39:04
right Douglas doing an impr oh there's more he should have
00:39:09
quit Jesus Christ Doug Dan I can't talk to you about politics
00:39:16
cuz you don't know [ __ ] I kind of like his blank look he
00:39:22
gives absolutely nothing in his face like Jesus Christ it's funny it's a mash up was funny yeah
00:39:29
go ahead I like that you did they're both good it was funny because that's something I say in my ACT my dad used to
00:39:35
say to me Jesus Christ I can't talk politics with you because you don't know [ __ ] that's so this guy is using that as
00:39:42
these other and I did a movie with Kirk Douglas and I know Lauren Michaels so there's a whole Mash going on what was
00:39:48
that gentleman name com that was Evan Chandler Evan Chandler funny funny stuff
00:39:54
thank you for the mashup inspired think I'd like it and then I did hi Dana and
00:40:01
daver this is Jimmy Stewart as froto baggin in the original Frank kapra
00:40:08
production of Lord of the Rings from 1950 that was never released okay well
00:40:14
what do you mean grandf you want me to take this ring all the way to Mordor you got Mary you got pipp and you got
00:40:20
legalist and gimy what do you need me for thanks
00:40:25
guys like Parker malar Parker Alman yeah that was cool
00:40:32
you have a beard like a Lord of the Rings beard now wait let's comment
00:40:38
so I do like it I mean it's getting yeah it's going back now oh as
00:40:46
we should get some new ones that people haven't heard a lot of that would be fun because people that are out there we
00:40:51
don't even know like you know these guys in Euphoria or whatever but let's yeah
00:40:57
but I liked it I I would just say the only thing I would do is remember to you can do a nonverbal thing before he talks
00:41:04
or you throw in non-verbal Jimmy Stewart so you know I've got a problem with it yeah you
00:41:10
see but yeah you know so anyway but I learned it from Rich Little but yeah it
00:41:17
today it's hard if you did a perfect Cris plat with how many people would know nothing he's a famous movie star
00:41:23
Tim Timothy sham people do it's a little harder back then there were like eight
00:41:28
giant movie stars and everyone knew them um it's it's hard if you do Chris proud or something you got to get the ones
00:41:34
they have to be sunk enough Into The Ether that people all know what they
00:41:40
sound like at this point or from a famous movie you know like doing Robert dowy Jr from Iron Man or something you
00:41:45
know yeah I'm gonna learn a new impression I I should ask the fans to write in ask me to try somebody yeah
00:41:52
tell them give me the challenge of a new impression there you go you know okay here he is this is Thomas
00:41:58
Murphy it's our last one Thomas you better is our last one Thomas Murphy here he
00:42:05
is hey Dana and David it's nor McDonald you know so he fellas I wanted to ask you
00:42:12
you know what's better than being dead right alive it's better to be
00:42:20
alive well uh I like these people don't even get
00:42:26
out [ __ ] car it's such a throwaway thing they're like I'll just send this out they'll never use it I think it's
00:42:31
smart to say hello and then the name of the guy you're doing hello this is nor McDonald took me a second yeah it took
00:42:38
me a second to acclimate again it's a little dark but I do Norm had a sense of
00:42:44
humor that would accommodate that I think you know yeah um not bad not bad
00:42:49
so I I asked this guy to do Theo Von last week let see what he's going to do what's up guys Dante Carter here
00:42:56
again uh I decided to come into the house this time David I'm not in the car I'm in the house see they're learning they're learning uh you guys mentioned
00:43:02
you thought I was going to do Theo Von last week because of my Southern accent and I thought man I could try Theo I've never tried it so I wanted but I wanted
00:43:08
to try it out for you guys so yeah there was this man named uh his
00:43:15
name was how yeah how was his name dude how was his name bro how used to how at
00:43:22
people and uh well when when you how at people we call you how and how that's
00:43:27
just what we called him that's just what we called him bro he was a good dude though man uh God I think about him all
00:43:35
the time man he's a good dude I wonder if that's from Theo or if
00:43:40
that's his own madeup thing because there is stuff in there that's pretty
00:43:45
Theo and people should be doing Theo all the time right now everyone knows them Bobby Lee Theo they should be doing
00:43:51
these Impressions Tim Dylan people that know they should do Whitney they're out there you know what I mean n Blazer
00:43:57
these are Impressions that could be done easily a child could no I'm kidding but
00:44:02
you know what I mean so that's a good Theo um there were Parts because I've never heard of Theo so that's pretty
00:44:08
good Dana well there were parts that that did I did kind of hit me as Theo it
00:44:14
felt like um maybe slow it down a little bit the thing about Theo is Theo doesn't
00:44:19
really ever do a joke with a punchline um so I would say you if I
00:44:24
would try to learn Theo this week I would actually listen to his show and take an actual segment from it and
00:44:31
phonetically try to get it that way first right but I feel like I feel like you know but he he tonally was pretty
00:44:37
good um I would say uh sharpen it and bring it
00:44:42
back yeah but don't try a hog this [ __ ] show either yeah we have a
00:44:48
waiting we have a waiting room online right now of 69,000 people oh there's someone from
00:44:54
Peru perfect David Spade no gross um all
00:45:00
right I think that's it for the show Dana don't you I think so um I enjoyed it David had a great time with you D
00:45:08
nice to see we left we cried we looked at things we talked um we got our
00:45:13
framing down on the thing in the camera I think next
00:45:19
time uh let's see all right Rad Rad oh this was this was three Christopher
00:45:25
Watkins Christopher Walkin sees and a magic trick wow Christopher CH Christopher Walkin is threatened whoa
00:45:33
Christ for walking is a cowboy
00:45:40
yippo this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced
00:45:45
by Dana Carvey and David Spade Charlie finan of brilon entertainment Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro
00:45:52
and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it
