00:00:00
[Music] I call in every 3 days and she goes what
00:00:07
do you need and I go there's a lot yeah they go there's a lot of people around I can't talk but I'll just say this
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Bo and she goes oh you need that again I do I she goes yeah you do oh I see I
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[Music] go David before we get start today on
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today's very special edition of super life I might say we have got a show for
00:00:36
you I'm telling you that's that's when the show is
00:00:41
like Anyway in other news George Soros
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the billionaire bought Odyssey our parent company so I wanted to just send him a a
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little note and read it here for um George Soros okay and I'll do it a
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little bit as a character just because sure George Soros I am honored and
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grateful that you are now the proud owner of our parent company Odyssey
00:01:13
Incorporated that's nice I hope you will find our podcast fly on the wall and
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Superfly amusing and may they always be a masculine
00:01:25
podcast George Soros I'm going to leave you now because I know you are a busy
00:01:36
man you know do you know where that's from I think it's from Godfather is it from Godfather yeah yeah and I wasn't my
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best Luca brzi it should be more I'm honored I'm honored and grateful that
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you you are now the proud owner of our pent company Arsy Incorporated I hope
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you will find podcast a masculine podcast George Soros I'm going to leave
00:02:05
you now because I know you're a busy man use either take Greg that was because
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masculine is where I got it yes and that's just kind of
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interesting uh it's great we got a new boss he's a we got a new boss get him
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call in soon okay so I lit the candle now I understand I understand you had quite a
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weekend let's just we call this segment catching up with David we save all of our we walkie-talkie but inperson stuff
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is this yeah so David couple things going on uh I'm gonna do another day on
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that movie uh I'm doing and I'm going to tell you about next week because I'll I'll have more done under my belt I
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didn't know you were doing a movie did I tell you that doing a couple days on I can't keep track of your no it's not
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it's not the lead so I don't care about about it at all but it is uh it's
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something it's time killer to say I was proud would be an understat you better be proud of me and then I went to
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Houston to do a show uh for a charity and and the funny thing it was you know
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obviously a couple days after the eclipse we had talked to Sarah Sherman about the eclipse and learned everything you could learn and and so when I go to
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Houston I get a I get a uh Uber you know he's going to take me to chili or whever
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so I get in nice and just to be I have nothing to talk about so I go hey did the eclipse make it down here you know
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whatever I don't know what I'm saying and he goes oh yeah the eclipse it got dark you know and I go oh guess that's
00:03:40
how he sounded we have to always say that and he goes I like it it's a nondescript accent it's just separates
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my voice from his so you know who's talking it's a foreign guy and so he goes uh you know the uh the son goes
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here and the uh the Moon is here I'm like is he explaining Eclipse to me I I
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I I went to second grade so I go oh yeah yeah so far he's completely correct so
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far he's [ __ ] nailing it and he's like that's it now also now he's going
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like this and the sun kind of goes like this and I don't know which one's forward for him but he goes and and so's now he's getting a little wrong he's
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like it's going kind of like this and the sun jumps around and I go okay by the way where are your hands there's
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also a steering wheel because now they're both off now he's just like and then there's the stars and I'm back here
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it's like I'm like just let's do the Clips like this where I just
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effects all right and so that was that story that's all on that was that story
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yeah I gotta keep I have a story go ahead I have a story about a I gotta learn um Rosetta Stone I gotta I know
00:04:54
it's our sponsor I'm not but I have I have to learn better Spanish I'm doing
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some work on my house and I have a lot of brilliant incredibly great Spanish
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workers or probably from Mexico so last week the guys who were painting my house
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are so much fun they laugh so hard that I had to go outside and go I had to
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explain it to them so I'm kind of like but they didn't speak any English I'm like guys because I didn't wantan to I
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didn't want to suppress them because they're laughing I go hey guys um could you like when you're laughing I can't
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hear it and so could you just be quiet for like 20 more minutes and then you can really laugh and and the guy was
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looking at me literally like this like like Biden basically yeah and I didn't I
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think he thought he was in trouble so I go just 10 more minutes and then you can be really loud I'm doing a podcast Boy
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Over zoom and then they're like what he doesn't know anything they don't know
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Zoom I'm Gonna Learn I'm GNA learn no you know you're tell telling him a hard
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thing if you know broken English or broken Spanish if he tried to tell you he was on a zoom you wouldn't get it I
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mean it's just too complicated yeah much mu you know K I mean I have all the
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basics oh um more than I do there's a let me tell do you ever call a doctor
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to refill a prescription yeah okay is this a different bit well I I this is another
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bit okay I call I call in every month for the same prescription I won't say
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what it is and the nurse who's so sweet always acts like it's the first time I've called remember it's every 30 days
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and I like to order this and she's like oh you want to do what well I want to
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order this prescription I'm going to have to talk to the doctor 30 days later I call again hi I'd
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like to order this prescription oh you want to do what you want to order a yeah
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the same one same address same number oh I don't know where to send it I'm going
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to have to talk to the doctor that's it I do I I call in every
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three days and she goes what do you need and I go there's a lot yeah they go there's a lot of people around I can't
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talk but I'll just say this boy and she goes oh you need that again
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I go do I she goes yeah you oh I see I
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go I though I said one time I go could I get some scratch she goes oh you want scratch another a
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problem sorry it's all right what does Bo mean like you have a neck problem no
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I need boner pills she got it I got to pay more
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attention yeah I was going I know and then you have to get
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the the the amount okay so you're like 80 milligrams every two days I go
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whatever is [Applause] Max Max or I should say that's crazy no
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it's funny I know what the last thing I'll tell you is I went to the UFC fight it was a busy weekend Oh yeah this
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sounds like a lie I was really jumping around so I did I go to UFC which I do like it was UFC 300 it was kind of a big
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one so this is the one it was kind of hassle for Houston oh you saw so I go
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there Dana White always like takes care which if you ever wanted to come he said come
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whenever you want so we got a we have a fun row we got Iron Mike Tyson in our row we have um and it's good because you
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got all space it sounds Nam droppy I'm just going to read the the list of who's there just because it makes it more fun
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we I'll try to do I'll try to impression if everyone was there yeah we we got better SE be right front because up here
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we can see all this stuff you know I almost told him to come on to promote that fight with Jake Paul because I want
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to say you better beat the [ __ ] up no offense to Jake Paul but Mike Tyson is a
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national hero and he better do not even punch back just let him beat the [ __ ] out of you those are my
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thoughts right I think Tyson if Tyson is anywhere near Tyson if he's 1% he wins
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easily if he's a half percent he might be close the only thing I think about 57
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in Combat Sports but I'm sure they got Mike all is just you go in the first
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punch and then you throw out your back right and also I think Jake will try to
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Tire him out you know run around make him get tired because he's
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older um that is probably what he'll do but if he if he if he quote stands in
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trades in the center of the alpha alpha style he might uh he might go night
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night before he gets back to the hotel night tall you know when I uh that that happened in this fight I won't bore you
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with the whole fight but it was very fun because our boy Dennis Miller is right here Dennis is at the fight with this K
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hold I saw him on on camera he looked great he looked totally relaxed he was in a great mood and when Dennis is in a
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good mood which is all the time when I see him he's doing Dennis Jokes which are Priceless so Theo's here yes and
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Jared letto and then uh like Chris Pratt was there you know who else is there
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Vivic ramza w w I like to buy you're all guys are all
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in the same Row the guy who ran for president yeah he was there on the end of the row and I'm like Vivic I don't
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see him everywhere so it's a rogue's gallery yeah and Miles Teller I'm just trying to remember this row just the row
00:10:45
because they're all people are peppered all over so we have this and then there's the ring and then right in front
00:10:50
of me is Ted Sandos his kid Tony so of course I just make fun of him the whole time cuz he's funny and then uh Ari
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Emanuel and Dana so J Jared Le letto who's super cool he
00:11:02
want super cool dude he's with his brother and we we all goof from but between Theo here Dennis here and
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spudley in the middle and now we're doing it's fight then we have intermission jokes fight jokes and we're
00:11:14
all doing jokes I couldn't have laughed harder you would have loved it it was so funny what can I hear what would what
00:11:20
would Theo's joke joke guy you know I was trying to remember going I'm going to tell Dane about this but like Dennis
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just keeps mumbling things like uh for Christ's sakes but if it gets in it's
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almost uh the last fight and this [ __ ] Chris Pratt has already made three new raccoon
00:11:42
movies between the first and last fight I go Guardians of the Galaxy got
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it and then uh and then Theo got it yeah Theo uh these there was an Asian fight
00:11:55
there was two Asian girls which to see women fight is not my favorite thing it's it's it's it's so unnatural in the
00:12:02
real world and I don't want to see that it's hard tough that was a tough fight so that was and they're beating
00:12:09
the [ __ ] out of it they're both great so they're doing it and then uh they got they got on a hold I think she's about
00:12:15
to choke out and Theo goes give her the password like I don't even know what he's talking about you know so and then when these two guys are
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fighting he goes uh I think these these guys go to law school together that was
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one and then when they were still fighting he goes is this about an HOA problem all
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just all weird all funny because it's just all stupid yeah I could see Dennis
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would be like okay we're up in row six you know you got the uh first class down
00:12:46
there in row two or three but that puts you back about 75k all
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right just Dennis gets CED and Dennis did look he got a nice single shot the
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great Den I love it I love it cuz sometimes they show you inside and you don't know if it's outside but uh they
00:13:06
they're popping around if I was Dana White I would just show everyone there because I saw hoist Gracie who's the
00:13:11
first big Brazilian UFC fighter like a legend walking just walks by we all say
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hi to him he doesn't really know us but he like oh man you're the best and then there's people over here I remember and
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then there's football players there's just ton of people that they should just keep showing it's just fun cuz in the
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downtime there's nothing to do so they cut to fighters in the audience blah blah uh overall do you have a look if
00:13:34
the camera comes on you do you kind of look up do a little what's up you know cameras on David Spade you do that okay
00:13:41
ready cameras on boom and then I go like this like as if you're gonna fight I look at the T what what is it I go D D D
00:13:47
D now that's one of them that's one so you're it's like you're a fighter I guess yeah here's the one it's the
00:13:54
octopus through the screen so if they show you to fight go like this
00:14:02
and what is that that's an octopus goes to the screen like like you're an
00:14:08
aquarium it's something it's different Josh H didn't do that look could I get a
00:14:14
couple tickets to the UFC 3 yes yes it's great I become a fan of the sport I get
00:14:21
the sport now it's not just brutal things going on there's so much strategy and athleticism so yes and it's all and
00:14:28
you hear the grunting and groaning and uh coming so you know when you're uh but
00:14:35
but like so gaii fight you know in hindsight maybe should have been last if don't be bored if you didn't see the
00:14:41
fight this these two badasses get in there and at the end of the first round the guy does a backwards kick and kicks
00:14:47
gatei and breaks his nose right it's hard enough to be right there to hear that cracking then he gets up and he
00:14:53
comes back and he's like birds you know you go he's out of it but he has to keep fighting cuz he's
00:14:59
a monster and they don't and he's one of the hardest hitters out there so four more rounds of this yeah he's tough and
00:15:06
he just every time he gets hit in the nose you're like oh my God because you know it's hanging on by a thread and he
00:15:11
just keeps fighting he won't go down but he's getting uh beat up pretty bad so the last 10 seconds it's over obviously
00:15:19
one Holloway won the other guy and then Holloway you saw did what you said about
00:15:25
Tyson he points to the middle of the ring and goes like let's yeah hammer it out so they go and he had won the fight
00:15:31
he won the fight he won the fight it's 10 seconds to go you just run around and wave to the audience instead he points
00:15:39
at the thing meet me in the middle of the ring and we'll see who's the badass with 10 seconds to go they're swinging
00:15:45
all out you were there just full windmills just and everyone freaked out and stood up like oh my God this is
00:15:51
crazy because you know the guy with a broken nose is like what are we doing do we need to do this I
00:15:57
mean I would have been like you won we're all good but he has to be tough and go you're really going to do this to
00:16:03
me so Windmill and he gets cracked again and he goes straight on his face with one second left in the whole fight one
00:16:09
second he got a knockout and he fell where fol he's completely still on his no on his nose yes
00:16:18
and I mean they what they say it's it's a figure of speech but gaiy was bleeding
00:16:24
so much they said he's wearing a crimsom mask it's a little cryptic Dennis Miller
00:16:30
said wearing a Crome mask after this round he's going to look like Lucille Ball like her face is full of blood or
00:16:37
that she his hair's his hair's red his hair was red by then oh I see he goes
00:16:44
Christ after this round he's coming out looking like Lucy Ball that joke only works if you think
00:16:52
that she's got blood red follicles coming out of her skull I hope Dennis is listening yeah he's funny so
00:16:59
and customarily when someone wins it's that good of a fight you throw Viking in at the uh ring so we did that and then
00:17:06
the guy's like I would and then he went out then we saw him later no and then we saw him
00:17:12
later and he was in a wheelchair they pushing around but he did get up to do the you know the winner the respectful
00:17:18
thing but dude I would have said [ __ ] it I'm out I gotta go lay down yeah so
00:17:23
that's it yeah all right let's get to the headlines the real headlines let's
00:17:29
get ready to rumble they don't say that anymore they used to okay and I heard he got $10,000
00:17:34
every time he said it now he says it's [Music]
00:17:47
time you have tons of businesses you're an entrepreneur and when you're hiring in your small businesses you want to
00:17:54
find quality professionals that are right for the role this is a big problem because sometimes you need someone right
00:17:59
then someone quits or you just can't have them anymore or you need a hold fill yeah you got to check out LinkedIn
00:18:05
jobs LinkedIn everyone has heard of I know LinkedIn LinkedIn jobs has the tools to help you find the right
00:18:10
Professionals for your team faster and for free whoa whoa whoa slow down on
00:18:17
LinkedIn David 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24
00:18:23
hours they hire professionals like a professional on LinkedIn hire professionals like a professional that's
00:18:30
very fast and and you know it's not just a job board LinkedIn helps you hire professionals that you can't find
00:18:36
anywhere else uh even those who aren't actively searching for a new job but might be open to the perfect role in a
00:18:42
given month over 70% of LinkedIn users don't visit other leading job sites so if you're not looking at LinkedIn you're
00:18:49
probably looking the wrong place on LinkedIn 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours hire
00:18:56
professionals like a professional on LinkedIn they know that small businesses
00:19:02
are wearing so many hats might not have the time or resources to hire linkedin's
00:19:07
constantly finding ways to make the process easier uh they even launched what was it
00:19:13
oh a feature that helps you write job descriptions making the process even
00:19:18
easier and quicker get this 2.5 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring
00:19:27
you heard me yeah I believe it don't be jealous I'm I am a little jealous that's a lot do you have a call to action I do
00:19:34
post your job for free at linkedin.com f23 that's linkedin.com
00:19:40
f23 post your job for free terms and conditions apply let's read it for the
00:19:45
people driving this is an article says Chris Farley biopic in the works with Paul Walter
00:19:51
Hower in lead role David comment
00:19:57
um I had heard I'd heard some whispers about this for a long time I've run into this guy Paul he very nice guy I think
00:20:03
he's been wanting to do this for a while I don't know how I'm a little ambivalent about it I I I don't know I I just know
00:20:10
that if Margot Robbie passes I'm playing me in the movie uh we're going to wind
00:20:15
up with JoJo sewa she plays you she every role you lose she's played you
00:20:20
would have been Barbie I could have easily been Barbie you could have been Barbie you've got those carry undergrass
00:20:28
under wood legs I got Carry Underwood legs here's all right in all seriousness
00:20:33
I wish him the best I think it's great I think one-offs and Charisma if it's very hard to get used
00:20:41
to it in a film like even um the last Elvis movie the guy did
00:20:48
incredible but you never reach Elvis it's impossible the Charisma it you know
00:20:53
but it was the best I'd seen and you know but the same thing with Will Smith
00:21:00
when he played Muhammad Ali he was absolutely fantastic but the whole time you're going but that you can't do
00:21:06
Muhammad Ali so I wish this guy the best to do Chris Farley there's so much stuff
00:21:13
there I don't know I'll be curious I don't know how you do that you know I don't know where you focus either they
00:21:19
approached me to play you David Spade story well I'm a little older and they
00:21:25
go you know so I mean we've done some makeup test are we going to do it can I
00:21:30
capture you I don't know they could have you play me and then someone will have to play
00:21:36
you and so the car broke down that's me and then they just cut
00:21:44
away octopus uh anyway what what are your thoughts on this because you you you're
00:21:50
Chris's right-hand man or he was your rightand man yes I I somehow turned into the your guys are Partners de facto
00:21:57
Widow uh you know um I you knew him best I wish him well
00:22:03
it's very like you said it's very hard to capture the highs and lows and the greatness and the just pure likeability
00:22:11
um and the innocence and everything that was great about him you know it's the stuff between the
00:22:18
lines it's the way he would look at you when he was going to do a joke or the way he would go he'd laugh insanely hard
00:22:27
like coming from someplace else and I know he's laughing comedians will sometimes laugh at a a comedian's joke
00:22:35
just because the idea of someone trying to be funny is funny and they're doing it for
00:22:42
you yeah kind of like it's and then I don't know Chris had so many uh sub
00:22:48
rhythms and so many little like when he would do the honking one when he'd laugh so
00:22:53
hard I don't I can't do it but you know that one where he go to like he's almost choking he laughing so hard and he would
00:23:00
anyway there's a meal to be had there he would give it up as a comedian and laugh if you said something funny he would
00:23:06
laugh so hard and it was that's that's one of the nice things when comedians give it up and they don't just wait and
00:23:11
then do their joke and laugh so that I I would I would like I I would hope it
00:23:17
doesn't just turn into about drugs I just want it to be the whole thing
00:23:22
because you could focus like this SNL movie is focus on the first SNL
00:23:28
ever done in 19 that's that's enough for one movie so with how much he did I
00:23:35
would want it to be more upbeat hopefully if they did a biop pick on me
00:23:41
it would be hardly anything about site live and focus on on the movie trapped in Paradise or
00:23:48
something or clean slate yeah I don't have quite I don't have much of a resume
00:23:53
in the film department but to your point I think Chris the timeline of the last year or two on SNL into Tommy Boy is
00:24:02
this period of time where Chris was full Chris and it's all there and I would
00:24:08
focus on that yeah I I that's our two cents yeah I I think so uh I agree call
00:24:15
me call me crazy that's what I would focus on this is a story I pulled because I just thought it's not that
00:24:21
much to talk about but this pitcher who passed away I didn't know he he traded wives with his teammates when he was
00:24:28
like you know 30 or something so I read a little bit about this if you don't know if you don't know so he has a has a
00:24:36
teammate with a cute wife and um they all hang out a lot and they realize they
00:24:42
like the other guy's wife so they said let's switch and so they decided to switch whole families so they switch
00:24:50
kids and the animals they switch kids and W switch houses kind of everything
00:24:57
that was that's that that why isn't this a movie this is so interesting well they had a I mean is
00:25:03
this a real story I have to go this might be the one that's like there's no way write us if on YouTube and tell us
00:25:11
if this is real because I think it's real but sometimes I FIB for attention well it's like I have
00:25:18
a new husband everything is new for about three months and then get you out
00:25:24
of here you're nothing I never should have swapped for you I was attracted for
00:25:29
about 6 weeks but you got a gas problem so get the [ __ ] out of
00:25:36
here that's the wife that's the wife who
00:25:42
swapped I don't know it was just a voice and a character you know and then the kids are
00:25:49
you're my daddy and then a week later I Hae you I'm sure there's a my real dad
00:25:55
let's do the move I would think we could do the the movie we switch and then they
00:26:00
don't know we switch because we look the same well yes actually but to that I
00:26:08
went to the movies and the woman taking my ticket I go to these 10: a.m. Maes she goes hey and I had a baseball cap on
00:26:14
she goes has anyone ever told you you look like David Spade yeah and I here
00:26:20
was my adlib I don't know if it's very good I said only David Spade yeah that's
00:26:25
a good one and she went she went she went ah H I know they don't know if it's you or
00:26:32
movie theater in the middle of nowhere so they thought it was impossible that da that I could be David Spade so they
00:26:39
just thought it was a funny rejoiner I got exact same thing going into the elevators at the airport the guy behind
00:26:46
me goes Carvey and I just go and then I go hey man so they don't
00:26:53
think that you're a dick I said hi I said oh hey man what's up well let's Let's do let's do a litmus
00:26:59
test you know you come over to my house and you just go you come in and you go honey I'm home PA and see if Paula goes
00:27:06
hi hi Dana she goes you look older and I go no
00:27:11
I don't look older I look younger older she's like no you are much younger in
00:27:17
real life you're really rough okay next story soccer player Kaka I like his name
00:27:24
oh did you go Kaka in your diapers um is that how you say his name
00:27:29
Co get out of here you're filling up your diaper and get the [ __ ] out I wish
00:27:35
I switch with Kaka okay so I want doing this voice go
00:27:41
ahead kaka's just got divorced she said he was too perfect so this is an
00:27:50
interesting story not riveting but interesting oh here she says Kaka never
00:27:56
betrayed me he treated me well he gave me one wonderful family but I was not happy something was missing the problem
00:28:01
was he was too perfect okay now this this is just a marriage didn't work out
00:28:07
but yeah if I were her I wouldn't volunteer volunteer this statement I
00:28:12
just would leave it at we had it just didn't work out he's a great guy it didn't work out to say this makes her
00:28:20
look bad I think Dana well there's two okay let's unpack unpack we got all the
00:28:27
time in the world is she saying this because she broke his heart and this was
00:28:33
a way to bolster his ego oh I'm leaving you and the guy started well but my my
00:28:39
name is Kaka how can you leave me because you're too perfect oh I'm
00:28:46
happy I gave you two little tiny kakas she goes the kids well I
00:28:53
didn't well I don't know what a guy with a name Kaka would sound like so I did a UND descript accent again sort of like
00:29:01
mhm I just this just in I just Googled it it's uh Spanish for poo
00:29:06
poo I was going to say that his brother's name is poo poo and his sister's name is Fifi and he's named
00:29:13
Kaka hi our kids are Kaka feces and poo poo her name is peee she should have
00:29:21
mentioned that uh no so we've turned this story into a mess but are we losing listeners
00:29:28
yes we just I just saw the live charts and it's shooting down but I don't know I I I mean I think she's there listen
00:29:36
there's sometimes doesn't work out and you don't know what to say but she's probably saying it's not you it's me I
00:29:43
just want that's I think that's basically it's like to protect the ego that's my thing car nice thing to say
00:29:51
next okay next next Scrabble makes historic change the
00:29:58
game with less competitive inclusive version to appeal to gen Z ah so I don't
00:30:05
really get this does it do they change the way you can spell a
00:30:10
word I guess you know if you play Scrabble like during the pandemic I played scravel with my wife and she she
00:30:19
beat me like 78 out of 79 games she come up with a
00:30:25
54o triple word score so can hurt your feelings it can ding your ego a little
00:30:30
bit your your self-esteem when you're dominated that much so I'm assuming less
00:30:37
competitive inclusive means you know you're just not going to get your
00:30:42
feelings as hurt so it's a perfect Scrabble for today I'm a grumpy old man
00:30:48
kids are weak today maybe you can spell words pretty close or you can spell them
00:30:55
phonetically yeah so if it's an F sound you don't have to put pH you can put
00:31:03
up right foreclosure you could spell it f o c a l
00:31:12
s a a k foreclosure yeah that's close
00:31:17
enough Brian you got it I know what you mean Tri award score yeah that's a thousand points you can also decide what
00:31:22
your points are okay next St and Monopoly the new Monopoly game you get Boardwalk
00:31:28
free uh before you start playing is that true you inherit it it's called nepo
00:31:34
nepo Monopoly it's called Monopoly and I go IID Monopoly to play Jud app's kid
00:31:42
whatever one that is J aat that's a Mr
00:31:49
SOS J it's a little Bernie bste God Rest us all creeping in it's just there only
00:31:55
thing we do oh Dana I wanted to put you through this because and then we'll get to more important issues Coachella was
00:32:01
last week and Dana you've heard about Coachella every week I don't know that much I haven't been thereo they have all
00:32:07
the bands people just go there to hang out do drugs basically my nightmare 100,000 stinky people with lines of
00:32:14
ouses and yeah no I don't like big crowds right and and and there's yeah
00:32:20
there's there's porta potties and there's bands and there's everyone basically goes there just to have fun
00:32:25
and take pictures for Instagram so here's sketch I did we're going to play it and if you're watching at home and it
00:32:30
doesn't play that means someone pulled it off of YouTube because it's not M
00:32:36
it'll be edited you'll hear this part but you won't see it yeah but here we go let's so let play the whole thing Charlotte McKenna's in it oh jeez it's
00:32:42
[Music] loud we can talk over it hey hi heading
00:32:48
into Coachella yes sir okay just a couple quick questions um how long you
00:32:54
going to be in here just three days okay how many outfit changes do you you have uh about 32 feels a little light but
00:33:01
that's up to you do you have a job get back to Monday absolutely not bit of a loser okay quick question is wind going
00:33:08
to be blowing like whole time cuz you know I'd rather it not be so windy I'll mark down your preference okay back to
00:33:14
what you're not doing do you have any special skills uh yeah you know I know how to Instagram pretty well is that it
00:33:22
yeah well isn't that kind of like a GED yeah it's sort of like a year of
00:33:28
I would guess what's the worst thing that's ever happened to pachell well one time I had to wear my backup sunglasses
00:33:33
cuz I forgot my cool ones and my backup sunglasses are so shitty oh and then uh
00:33:40
I got molested One Time by a bouncer so okay so which one was the worst oh the backup sunglasses I hear you I've had
00:33:47
that happen it's horrible okay well this is a bit personal but what's the highest number of followers uh of someone you've
00:33:52
had sex with at Coachella I had sex with a guy who had like 28k that is a lot of KS um okay and what did he do I think he
00:34:00
was a DJ and a personal trainer and a rapper oh and a William Morris agent
00:34:07
sounds focused and where did you have sex a porta potty I mean where else would you do it his hotel was like or
00:34:14
something I got it I got it I get it what bands you looking forward to seeing there's bands here yeah there's going to
00:34:20
be like 70 oh that's great when did they add that oh probably like 14 years ago
00:34:25
oh so if we get bored we can just go watch the bands or or something I think that's the idea if you run out of everything to do maybe see a van also
00:34:32
that guy from Guns and Roses can you like tell him in between sets to like stop talking because you know i' just
00:34:38
rather I'm not Les blab from Axel hey before you go in would you want to buy
00:34:43
some coupons for the Molly stand it's glutenfree this year which is great and if you buy a coupon it's sort of a bonus
00:34:50
you get half off of all moon rocks till 5m um it's a lot cheaper if you buy it
00:34:56
here I'm just giving you a tip between us girls and uh there's an IV stand about 30 ft in you hook it up and it
00:35:02
just pumps a lot of self-esteem back into your body for when you're driving home and you're so embarrassed and it's
00:35:07
three hours and you're like what the [ __ ] am I doing with my life obviously nothing I've been at Coachella for four days no one's missed me at all I haven't
00:35:14
miss work I hav miss [ __ ] my dog's probably dead and I want to blow my brains out but let's go to In-N-Out you
00:35:20
know what I mean uh in- and- out it's not really my thing oh why kind of on a diet how long you been on a diet
00:35:27
I was born on a side note they want me to ask who would you vote for for president if the elections were right
00:35:33
now I think the beibs beibs okay if he somehow isn't running who would who would it be um I think that old guy
00:35:40
Colonel Sanders he says Coachella is gonna be free next year oh yeah I'm sure he did that was Bernie s back then can
00:35:47
you promise that when you do see bands that you hold up your phone to block anyone near you and then over film the
00:35:52
[ __ ] out of it and Snapchat it no one will ever [ __ ] care and they'll hit your guts for it well yeah cuz I have to
00:35:58
have a story yeah that's right lastly how many times have you snapchated that filter of you with like a dog sticking
00:36:06
your tongue out um that one I don't know maybe like a thousand well keep it up it does not get old that was how many years
00:36:12
that was probably like great not how Heather how long ago is that nine years oh no what do you think
00:36:19
roughly off top of your head we'll get back to you that's why some of the jokes are a little stale but it's kind of
00:36:25
funny right Dan it's it's funny I mean she played great she played straight and
00:36:30
then uh consistent funny jokes and then when you started swearing you're [ __ ]
00:36:35
your loser life and all that [ __ ] it's a thing you could watch more than once because there's a lot of a lot of patter
00:36:42
in there yeah a lot of back and forth okay thank you that's it that's it and a lot of uh kind of
00:36:49
roasting sort of that Personality yeah she was good shallowness of whatever
00:36:54
Charlotte M but yeah okay h stuff it Al 2018 what's his name
00:37:00
2016 so according to my calculations that's 28 years ago seven eight
00:37:06
years okay what's this what am I watching this yours Dana I don't know hi
00:37:11
guys my name's Kendall huge fan David growing up my brother and I used to
00:37:16
fight like crazy and we'd have to go to work with our parents and fight there and just embarrassing for them and for
00:37:23
us um and when Diggy Roberts came out that movie brought us together like we
00:37:28
enjoyed that movie so much and still do Dana you're so genuine and so funny and
00:37:33
I love your guys's take on things my question advice is how do you guys keep
00:37:39
your creativity going how do you not stay stagnant and keep so with
00:37:46
it yeah I I'm gonna nominate that as the nicest message we've gotten yeah the
00:37:53
advice it's smart she pads it up front with nice things and then uh ask that was an advice Our advice column but I
00:38:00
didn't see it coming but I figured it out okay so you go first um I mean as as far as me being
00:38:07
sincere I remember a lot of the time people would
00:38:13
ask me that kind of thing and then would they take a creative writing class or a creative seminar or some kind of
00:38:21
self-help thing to unlock your inner creativity um to it was a fat joint and
00:38:29
a bunch of stone high school kids now uh I don't know I think just being playful
00:38:35
and Goofy I would say stay up 36 hours get really Punchy and then have your
00:38:42
friends throw topics at you and see if you can come up with an interesting take David yeah that's all I got yeah I think
00:38:49
you know we're lucky because most people have regular jobs aren't in the comedy world so we're sort of always either out
00:38:57
to do standup so we have to sort of think of things we have to look at the news and see if there's something to joke about and then there's just the
00:39:04
fact that I hang out with people like you or people that I think are amusing and then we make each other laugh so
00:39:11
that that does help it I think keeping everything light and keeping uh that I
00:39:17
don't know uh dayto day I mean it's hard it's hard because a lot of there's It's hard out there in the real world and
00:39:22
busting your hump at work all day so seems like or just be I think she's
00:39:29
saying how does how do you keep it light and creative and uh keep the creativity I would say that you know there is a
00:39:35
little bit of the 10,000 hour thing like once you're you you you're committed to Comedy and like you said hanging out
00:39:41
with comedians you kind of know that there's something funny in almost everything you know like I this isn't
00:39:48
even something I would put in my ACT but it just made me laugh you been in an elevator with a guy a stranger and he
00:39:54
gets off on his floor and he turns and says see you later should I be
00:40:00
worried yeah well that's a good example you ever had a guy say see you later of someone of taking a very mundane
00:40:06
situation not a killer it's not a killer will that be yeah but here's an [Music]
00:40:19
example this show is sponsored by better help the social battery for me is a
00:40:26
little drained uh uh uh social batteries mine is usually pretty high I have
00:40:31
pretty decent life I try to take it easy get my eight hours but you know what a lot of flying around a lot of gigs a lot
00:40:38
of this and that not enough boundaries uh it can be easy to ignore our social
00:40:44
battery and spread ourselves thin especially with social Gatherings you know they pick up after winter it's
00:40:49
getting to be nice out yeah you know you could be with people even if there in some people they just drain you maybe
00:40:56
they just talk about their problems or whatever mhm with better help you can kind of identify these toxic
00:41:01
relationships and sort of manage them so you're not just exhausted all the time
00:41:07
yeah you get around those uh energy vampires they take all your good energy and they blab and blab and you know
00:41:14
you're you're not beat guy I think my resting uh resting disposition is I love
00:41:20
when you Proclaim what I am you're a happy go-lucky dude you're over there C
00:41:29
yeah I mean you have one of those things you blow at a birthday party every night yeah you run around with a kazoo so uh
00:41:37
that's that's a better I think we both benefited from therapy uh I think it
00:41:43
helped me I think you have you've said before it's helped you uh yeah you know I think there's a lot of benefit to that
00:41:49
I think you got to address it and try to get through some stuff if you're thinking of starting therapy I I think
00:41:56
better help would be the place it's entirely online it's designed to be convenient flexible suited to your
00:42:01
schedule what you do is you fill out a brief questionnaire uh you get matched with the licens therapist switch
00:42:08
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00:42:27
I just wrote down this is going to go on for weeks we should cover it almost like Channel Superfly Action News yeah
00:42:36
we do a lot of breaking news Trump is going to trial yep I read that Trump is going to trial in New York this is
00:42:41
different than the other ones they're picking a jury for the stormmy Daniels
00:42:46
he had sex with there in a hotel room in 2006 2011 In Touch magazine was going to
00:42:52
give her 15K to Spill the Beans then they Trump fixer Cohen his lawyer put
00:42:59
the kabash on that then she came out later then
00:43:05
allegedly Trump's fixer lawyer took out a mortgage on his home paid her 130k to
00:43:11
be quiet she did an NDA non-disclosure agreement and now there's a trial um about Trump paying back his
00:43:19
lawyer and not saying you know in the on the check this is for play playing off
00:43:26
the expon star stormy Daniel for the night in the hotel room so she'll keep
00:43:32
her trap shut that's what this so he didn't do that in the memo
00:43:37
so he has to become president at this point because no one can keep track of
00:43:44
the trials in the affidavit so he has to become president and his inaugural
00:43:49
address will just be pardoning himself for the for the charge of inflating my
00:43:55
Assets in New York City I there I pardon Donald J Trump I pardon all of it it's
00:44:02
like 3 hours long 729 affidavits the charges are in the
00:44:07
thousands I pardon every single one of them that's all what do you think about that whole give yourself a new start
00:44:13
should line again yeah I mean there's so many uh the news is pretty confusing
00:44:19
because there's so much going on everywhere there's a trial there's a war there's a border crisis there's there's
00:44:25
a million things going on so I'm trying to figure out which one to be worried about the most at all times so I'm just constantly in a state of tight shoulders
00:44:32
um but I don't know what to do that's true and how to make fun of it yeah how to spin it all and joke about it all
00:44:38
because it's my only way to survive it it's all scary and I don't and I and
00:44:44
it's it's never been a time in my young years I'm very young but it's never been a time where I haven't been worried
00:44:51
about so many things and and so many things I have no control over it's hard to separate it all
00:44:57
it's a little unsettling I don't know if it's social media or just the times we're in but I think a lot of people
00:45:02
thought that Trump was so exhausting we're GNA do this and there and he's calling people names and Nancy Pelosi
00:45:09
not a nice person so then when Biden came in everything's gonna calm down you
00:45:15
what she's got her mouth on us she swears like a sailor this woman and now
00:45:21
it is it's like it's a little it's a little twisted I mean as far as Trump and this particular ch
00:45:28
I just thought that we kind of settled the idea that sex with a politician is a
00:45:34
different Lane because almost everybody FDR had a girlfriend JFK harvested
00:45:39
basically Eastern Washington and then Clinton that whole thing you know where he goes he goes I did not have sex with
00:45:48
that woman and if you play back the tape and slow motion his finger is spelling I
00:45:53
am lying my ass off so so and then he lied to the grand jury but everyone
00:45:59
understood he's just trying to protect his family so with this one night stand in a hotel room 20 years ago we're going
00:46:06
to reorientate the American society but yeah that's that's harder when there's a
00:46:12
war and listen he probably did do something wrong that's that's it's more like if you look at the crime in the
00:46:19
news every day and people are getting set free you're like this is what we focus on like let's just how about we
00:46:24
get the people that are beating people with baseball back bats like that's I'd I'd rather start with that or do it all
00:46:29
but do it all but yeah this is a white CER crime if he did if he didn't earmark
00:46:36
The Ledger properly it's more uh there's no real victim victim but as far as uh
00:46:42
Rob Someone putting a gun in guy's head and robbing his store I'd focus on the violence first but that's just me I'm a
00:46:49
Nut right I'm crazy like that too when they when I saw that video of the guy kicked the woman backwards down the
00:46:55
stairs I was like good God what are we doing that's that's terrifying to me uh but is there any
00:47:01
sadder news what else do you got going um I just have by popular demand
00:47:08
um Biden itching his nose people seem to like it so I thought I'd do a part two
00:47:14
sure let me back myself up a little bit this is this isn't earthquake fting is
00:47:19
it no it could be hey there's one over here too Hey Joe it's a it's an
00:47:25
earthquake oh it's notot that's the way the world seems all the
00:47:33
time go ahead okay this is him itching his nose and Barack Obama watching on
00:47:38
television and kind of yelling at him to go faster so this is when President
00:47:43
Biden who is just he's is older and they're working him hard some days they
00:47:48
have like 10 speeches and at the end of the day you could tell he's so tired and
00:47:54
he kind of wanders off and he sits down and he itches his nose very slowly this
00:47:59
is a too slow for demand yeah yeah so anyway so the people where is everybody
00:48:06
come on I said I said what I was gonna say and then he goes and he sits all right let's
00:48:13
see here it comes he feels an itch now he's got to make a move fasor Jill Joel
00:48:22
faster it's Obama Joel Faster come on Joel it's your nose Joel get to your
00:48:28
nose you got a Joe
00:48:35
Joel hey no drop drop your index finger from your left nostril do it now drop
00:48:45
you're Joe that was slower than the moon landing Joe drop it fast Joe let gravity
00:48:52
take over he's happy he got the itch well
00:48:59
he's like look I'm not in a let's just let's just unpack this I'm not in a television Studio I'm trying to think on
00:49:06
my zoom shot what looks funniest so I brought the finger up slowly from here
00:49:12
frame right I like this yeah yeah Jo F Jo play along at home F
00:49:23
Jo drop a Joe Joe come on come on Obama's
00:49:29
getting farther away Joe Jo I actually thought of doing Biden as Bob Ross the
00:49:35
painter okay yeah yeah we're gonna do some cheese over here yeah oh you
00:49:42
Ukraine let's give him a tank a tank over here just just little tank a couple
00:49:49
bullets over here don't give him too not too many just s the tank that's good you
00:49:55
can keep going with that one that one's good well yeah that one you could kind of do we'll do we'll do a longer version next
00:50:01
week I like that one yeah all right what else because I got
00:50:06
some so by the way I did I did see this is all I got left for today King Kong I did see the movie with Godzilla because
00:50:13
you mentioned it yeah and the funniest thing to me that there's like five monsters in the movie there's a frozen
00:50:19
one there's Godzilla there's King Kong there's a flying one every single one
00:50:24
when it would announce itself would open its mouth and scream and it there must
00:50:30
have been a hundred screams in that movie it's like here comes buckwell the
00:50:37
monster it would Echo way out I I after the hundredth time it didn't
00:50:43
scare me I know and all the other monsters can hear it and then they know it's it's like hearing it's time they
00:50:50
know they have to fight and I love that Godzilla on planet Earth is looking for a CO Lair a place
00:50:57
to just you know where he sleeps he goes the Roman Coliseum yeah no he sleeps I
00:51:04
think he sleeps in like Dodger Stadium no giant Stadium he sleeps in right oh I
00:51:09
thought it was Roman Coliseum oh you know it might have been it is similar plus let's go to the tape I wasn't
00:51:15
really paying attention he was sleeping in something Roman Coliseum Roman Coliseum
00:51:21
some yeah all right let's put a little missile in Ukraine just a couple
00:51:27
yeah there you go just general get some get some green tanks yeah yeah some green tanks the
00:51:35
problem with zoom is that your hand is always You're Superstar no you go back here yeah get some green
00:51:42
t uh okay so I will tell you I could do the guru better with these glasses
00:51:48
because you can see my eyes more that's you want to save the guru for next week I everyone love the guru yes I just want
00:51:53
to just here's a preview that that's the just the eyes are coming
00:52:00
soon guess if I'm talking giving away too
00:52:07
much I like that
00:52:12
song you know Biden could just let his hand now I've gotten officially Punchy now you got Punchy okay so I'm on kill
00:52:19
Tony this week that podcast uh with David tell where where is where is it
00:52:25
that's wherever you YouTube is sold uh can watch YouTube kill Tony okay watch kill Tony for free watch ours for free
00:52:33
and I'm on the RO this comes out Friday what are your dates you want to Pro oh yeah I'm coming up I got Florida clearw
00:52:40
you can go to Davids spade.com I got Orlando I've got some Vegas so check it out that's it thank you guys thank you
00:52:48
Dana see David Spade all right miss you Dan we'll talk in five we'll talk in two minutes okay yeah I'll call you right
00:52:55
back okay bye this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana
00:53:02
Carvey and David Spade Charlie finan of Brill entertainment Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg
00:53:09
Holtzman hope you liked it
