00:00:00
[Music] watch for Falling Rock would clearly be
00:00:06
homophobic watch for falling [ __ ] would really be um there you go there's our C
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problematic we have our clip for this week watch for falling oh I've never set up Spade like
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that you set me up hard that was [Music]
00:00:25
perfect so we're the black Teese and you know if you forget our name just look at what we were and then you know who we
00:00:31
are I mean we've we've never accidentally done this we finally did it well I think everyone can struggle
00:00:37
through okay so first of all happy juneth that was this
00:00:42
week and uh you know what I was thinking I can't believe that slavery
00:00:48
ended on a Wednesday if they would have just waited till Friday you'd have that whole weekend long weekend but now who
00:00:54
wants a holiday in the middle of the week I did not know that I I did not yeah
00:01:00
so why is it not on a Friday and then you get the whole weekend celebration they F this because you know
00:01:07
what who wants I didn't even know I knew juneth was coming up and I'm like oh wait no one's answering calls no one's
00:01:13
guess who guess who made June
00:01:19
juneth what's it called June yeah yeah you got it president President Joseph R
00:01:26
Biden oh that's right people say to do on Friday I say [ __ ] you do it on
00:01:33
Wednesday especially David Spade black T-shirt doesn't work why do he mad at me
00:01:38
why would you have to me I don't know by the way how was my juneth great question it wasn't that great Dana
00:01:45
because uh I was immersed in the celebration but I also and this is my fault this is a bit
00:01:53
of a St story this will be two minutes no judgment no judgment here I'm just gonna listen and then I'll okay then
00:02:01
okay good because I'm kind of not a rant but I got a ticket in the day I parked
00:02:07
where I wasn't supposed to fine Grand great wonderful got it I get it I'm not
00:02:13
I don't love it but I get it and the reason I don't love it is coming next okay I guess no one loves it so most not
00:02:20
a big stance yeah you're risk that's a risky stance go ahead yeah now the second stance is now I'm driving to
00:02:27
dinner and I'm in the left turn lane and I'm about to take a left and I'm in the
00:02:33
wrong light there's a little Booky light in front of the light I want so my
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light's about 50 yards up so I realized I can't take a left here so and the
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light's red and I'm about to have to take a left and screen so no one's coming this way it's the
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boiestown kind of Coast Straight Ahead in my left turn lane up to the next
00:03:05
light got it now in first I didn't hurt anyone I didn't scare anyone there's no close calls yeah just a guy really
00:03:14
solving problems and if you go yeah yeah it shouldn't count at all you're right I
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went slow no one was like you know it was just like oh that's obviously against
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the law but fine okay so now who up behind me Snoop Dog copper oh the buzz I
00:03:37
haven't seen a car on Sunset in so long right behind me guys and I was like
00:03:44
this uh I don't make any sudden moves I know but he doesn't put the cherries on
00:03:50
stay tuned for the lingo he just stares at me and I'm like
00:03:55
maybe he just pulled up didn't see what happened the shenanigans so I wait wait wait the
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whole now I don't want to run this one wait for the green take a left he
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immediately I'm like what do you dip blow he's got the DJ Dance
00:04:17
Mix so I pull you got a new one okay I pull
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over and I actually get my um registration L doesn't give me any heat
00:04:30
I mean my problem was two problems there's not another cop cuz usually the
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other cop will go hey tell let this guy scram you know but this guy just walk doesn't really look at me he just goes
00:04:42
Li Ro stret I go like this I crane my head out the window try
00:04:48
to get a try to get a face non yeah little recog fact mug out there what
00:04:55
happened M you stuck it out he didn't give a fat [ __ ] he just said okay um and
00:05:01
then I give him that and then he goes you got your license I go yeah he goes your license where is I go oh actually I
00:05:06
don't have it I don't have it I was carrying just a credit card and a uh want money and so I'm looking through
00:05:14
and I'm like I go have my credit card like isn't that sweet but it wasn't a black card it was a green American
00:05:20
Express it's like the crummiest one you can get so that didn't set off any Rich alarm bells for this guy you know this
00:05:26
is not looking good this story looking I'm getting nervous I'm getting a little nervous why are you wearing the black
00:05:33
tea come on now all right go ahead so I say hey man all good in the
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hood I'm so nice yeah yeah yeah I go is this he goes you know what this is about I go me blatantly running that red light
00:05:45
and he goes yeah I go yep uh I go I was just you know trying to be a problem
00:05:51
solver so he goes let me go back to the car I don't want him to go back cuz that's when it goes sour you know gets
00:05:59
all com I see him gets the pen out nice little soft effect there and
00:06:06
then he starts and he's going to town I'm like this now I'm getting mad and you know why I'm getting mad now because
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all I see on the news every day is the street takeovers of the guys doing
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donuts hitting people they hit someone almost every time never rested cops stay back let
00:06:26
them do their thing they're having fun whatever you know they don't bust any body yeah and all the smash and grabs
00:06:32
all the Walgreens their big their big problem solving for the Walgreens is lock them up better so people don't
00:06:37
steal as much you know so all this is going on I don't mind yes I'm entitled I
00:06:42
broke the law give me a ticket but don't be hypocrite give make everything against the law not just these easy ones
00:06:49
parking ticket yeah yeah yeah but the ones where they're like someone breaks in and punches someone at Walgreens and
00:06:55
leaves you can't follow him or you get arrested upside down world so yeah I'm
00:07:01
just thinking let's make those things mine was clearly against the law robbing
00:07:07
his stores clearly against the law all these things are clear the street takeover then let's arrest everybody
00:07:13
yeah but why me why little old sweet me who's actually not really the big problem if you said to people in La
00:07:19
would you rather have him running a light once in a while or parking bad or no Street takeovers and no Walgreens in
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CVA and they' be like yeah we just want safety in general that's crazy the whole
00:07:31
safety you're not really cutting the head off the snake with me that that's what well look running red lights are not created equally on Santa Monica with
00:07:40
those big intersections someone will run it at 70 miles an hour sure I got by
00:07:47
someone yeah and then you know I always tell people if you're pushing a baby in a cart in a little baby buggy don't lead
00:07:54
it into the street you know you go into the street and drag the B drag the baby
00:08:01
behind you don't put the baby in the way of traffic where you're all safe on the sidewalk so anyway your little Co Coy
00:08:08
thing there I'm gonna file a complaint thank you with the LAPD uh Nobody messes with uh my spudley
00:08:16
you know you should say you should say I remember when one time Biden said that he goes you don't p a b big
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bug too bad you didn't get a junior Biden as the as the
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cop say you got the baby bunker in the you w't push the Baby Buggy Bumper in
00:08:33
the bumper first little bit of Cosby sneaking in there you don't push the baby in the intersection now what about
00:08:39
if you would put people can see it if they're watching our podcast Joe Dirt hat on and kind of stuck yourself out
00:08:46
like that go how you doing oh I think I just said hello officer what's
00:08:53
crapping if you don't get what's crapping it I'm dead in the water I got pulled over once and the guy looked at
00:08:59
me get goes get out of here oh yeah I usually this was the cop recognized me
00:09:05
and just said get out of here I love it when they do that he goes dude just come on what are you doing and then he goes
00:09:12
and I was smashed I was [ __ ] wasted I will go back and say running a red is not the greatest it was no one was there
00:09:18
you know how when no one's at the light but you have to stop and no one's there so I don't know what's going so I just kind of trickled through now I was
00:09:24
plowed personally on Sunset guy ran a red knocked me
00:09:30
uh spun me around and I had to you know I was obviously total my car this one is
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just a cute little red where everyone like Giggles it's no big deal at all and now you know what happens I get points
00:09:44
or even worse I have to have a Heather take driving school no one wants to go you know your assistant has to do driving
00:09:51
school for you pull back the curtain one of us it's
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going to be a big hassle no I do it I get in there and I'm like this is a
00:10:02
right turn this is a left turn you know I do it all I know it all what's this what's the speed limit in a bus Zone 35
00:10:10
miles an hour 25 miles hour 15 miles an hour come on man you're not allowed to
00:10:15
change lanes 100 feet on either side of an intersection did you know that I love
00:10:21
this thing I I agree so long story longer no one cares
00:10:29
and that's fine but uh oh yeah we can get now what did you do if you want to
00:10:34
say anything before we get to headlines how was your weekend um my weekend I I drove any
00:10:41
highlights any low lights um I went for
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up here in Northern California I went for a 2hour hike with massive elevation
00:10:52
the first mile is like 700 stairs in three pieces through a forest and then
00:10:59
down into the woods platoon and then yeah platoon and that that that was I
00:11:05
had trouble I was really sore from that
00:11:11
who do you ever ice anything oh I'm I'm packed in ice right now from the waist down are you packed
00:11:18
in ice until the podcast till the podcast I'm packed in ice frequently it just says a lot for
00:11:25
anti-inflammatory no and today I had 15 minutes to go to the gym cuz I was busy doing all these different things and the
00:11:32
woman I got there and she's like I guess it was first she was like that woman like oh you want a day pass yeah I just
00:11:40
want to go for a day pass here's my credit card it's not going through a I'm
00:11:47
going to have talk to the gym owner so he couldn't I had 15 minutes and she
00:11:53
it's not going through that keeps going circling around you know so finally I said I got please let me in she goes
00:12:00
okay I won't tell the doctor hey wait a minute you're the nurse from the doctor
00:12:06
she works part time in a gymz bad only our super super fans would
00:12:13
get that connection okay let's see what the headlines are because I got lots to tell you Dan I love these headlin I just want
00:12:21
to say we have not talked about these headlines right we just read them yeah we're just seeing them for the
00:12:28
first time okay so San Diego this is what I was just saying about crime there's a few crime stories in here
00:12:34
because that's literally all they show on the news but San Diego is beautiful obviously with a lot of
00:12:39
beaches they're cracking down where do they crack down not on the actual crime but people doing yoga on the beach they
00:12:47
say more than four people uh-uh no more we can't do this we can't put up with
00:12:52
this [ __ ] just robberies everywhere more
00:12:57
than 50
00:13:02
oh you can't sell anything they don't they don't sell anything so if they're not charging because that's like they
00:13:08
get their own outdoor yoga studio free I see there they are they're on the
00:13:13
cliff I wonder not I mean of course they show the biggest one but you know I
00:13:19
don't oh what's a donation yoga class does that mean if you don't have an official
00:13:27
class I will opt out thank you for the choice I'm tell you just by looking at
00:13:32
this if they if they do a Lotus move full fulum they're going off that Cliff
00:13:38
so I'm just saying for safety reasons they should not be up there they're rolling off their M I'm doing a downward
00:13:44
spiral off the cliff yeah the donkey Downer you know you've done yoga haven't
00:13:50
you you're a yoga guy yeah every guy tries to give them a BJ at some point the only weird about you is I saw you
00:13:56
and you wear kind of feminine yoga pants I was go those are really for women I don't know why you're in those pants
00:14:03
remember thator I'm sorry every day yeah they're called tights they're called
00:14:09
tights they're called tights with the little little straps in the bottom to pull on your
00:14:15
feet what human H yeah go ahead oh wait this is oh this is new new Breaking News
00:14:22
yoga teachers Sue oh they Sue back oh Amy back is suing back
00:14:29
wow they've had it without any problems but here's my problem the focus should not be on these guys focus is on people
00:14:36
hitting people with pipes and then getting let off because it's not a felon anymore it's like come on yeah you see
00:14:43
these things on TV they're so horrible then you're like the police have been alerted and they're only allowed to crack down on the yoga people can I see
00:14:49
the picture again for a second yeah for of course cuz there's a message in that cuz I used to study yoga and Eastern
00:14:55
yoga so what they're doing see how they're all different they're spelling out out in yoga e language [ __ ] you San
00:15:02
Diego yeah that's not a bad idea by the way what's with this copy on
00:15:08
the side I might get that go ahead Hey Brother printer yeah so no but they're
00:15:16
all out of sink this is a hodge podge these are not real yoga people these are not real yoga pants these people are
00:15:23
disgrace but they're not as bad as Mayhem it's not it's Gotham City in
00:15:29
californ in most neighborhoods so You' seen Batman you've seen Gotham City
00:15:34
Andor The Purge you know what we're talking about it's Batman with no Batman oh here's a story The Brady Bunch house
00:15:42
I guess they these stories are all kind of running together The Brady Bunch house they bought and it was already
00:15:49
burglarized it's already got someone already smashed in there this is our crime podcast I love I mean now it is
00:15:56
and then uh when Biden came here Secret Service got robbed at gunpoint you heard that story so it's it's all kind we
00:16:03
don't even need to do this story it's just by the way while we mentioned Brady Bunch we won't we won't do too much crime but what I'll give you go ahead
00:16:12
someone bought the Brady Bunch house and then it got burglarized or yeah they redid it they refurbished it for like
00:16:18
one of those shows yeah and then of course oh for a show okay and now it's done and then someone broke into it of
00:16:24
course because it's just a matter of time cuzz I lived in the I grew up in in the I Dream of Genie house in the bottle
00:16:31
or the house the bottle look sweet it was shaped like a bottle the whole family
00:16:37
fit in it it was like 20 feet high was that I dream what you grew up in a TV house didn't you in in Arizona probably
00:16:44
one of those 7 sitcoms I'm trying to feed you here [ __ ] I know I don't know what my come you're the fastest draw in
00:16:50
the west I don't know I just remember that a bunch of us went in that ID dreaming Genie bottle and then if you
00:16:56
you need to have one guy on the outside to rub it so you can come out but everyone's like wait we all came in and
00:17:02
then you can't rub it now we're stuck yeah yeah so I go while I'm going to wait I'm going to rub this I hope
00:17:08
Barbara Eden is watching this show I'm doing references from 50 years I know people sometimes don't know
00:17:15
our references but that's fine uh I will tell you modern ones Taylor Swift and uh
00:17:22
two things I have for you g go ahead what Heidi Garder why current reference
00:17:30
yeah there looked like heidy Gardner okay so what was the name of the dog on
00:17:36
The Brady Bunch Wilbur Jan anyway um how
00:17:41
many sons were in how many sons were in the TV show my three sons how many sons
00:17:48
the name of the show was my three sons how many sons no one I don't know 10 three God that's so obvious I know I let
00:17:56
you get that one by the way the thing about Alice and the oh she wasn't the dog the dog's name was Tiger but the
00:18:02
thing about Alice is what I kind of like do you remember she wore a made outfit to work yeah that doesn't happen as much
00:18:10
mine wears a Planet Hollywood jacket so mine wears a Kev a Kevlar suit and
00:18:17
carries a small firearm you know I clean bathroom now yes I don't
00:18:26
know what country she's from but you know that's a good gent well it's hard when someone you know I only know three
00:18:32
words in Spanish and then I do it you know Ola com and then the housekeeper starts
00:18:41
going you know and I'm like C C see and then I go upstairs and she's in the tub
00:18:46
all sudy going I I asked you I
00:18:52
don't you said okay okay it was all I didn't pay attention talk too fast like
00:18:59
you got to get one word at a time and then break it down oh I had the best contractor um with a I guess he was from
00:19:06
Mexico incredible worker incredibly nice guy but when he spoke English he spoke it just hyper fast because he came in
00:19:13
for some Plumbing ton you want me to get want to get the problem I could do it for you today you know I could take the take the hose I I put it in there I WR
00:19:20
it down I I go slow down P talks like when people talk fast Spanish really
00:19:25
fast but it's English and it's unbelievable I you know you're fluent it's actually hard to
00:19:31
[Music] do okay next [Music]
00:19:43
story oh this is one of this is the girl this is the the meme I said that sounds like a little bit like your worker that
00:19:52
we just did at your doctor's office but this might be from a movie okay you lend your friend your beard trimmer but he
00:19:58
comes comes back out of the bathroom with a full beard still this
00:20:04
is oh no oh no that's it well that definitely
00:20:11
they definitely whoever did that monkey saw my my my doctor assistant cared oh I
00:20:18
have to say I still like yours better that monkey might be from a movie or something and it's in a lot of memes now
00:20:25
I think yours is just funnier I think they're different but oh yours is more clever that's from oh no that's that's
00:20:32
tragic that's more like oh this is new information no we did it last I'm going
00:20:38
to have to check with the doctor her eyes are funny too oh oh it's too scared
00:20:45
she's all scared no I like as a jump cut to the screen you went like this well
00:20:51
you do your own clothes up of that loud I know it get that's when you know the funny part's coming okay next one so
00:20:57
that was just that they used just a big trimmer thing like a twoin thing so no problem okay next yeah the guy wasn't
00:21:02
shaving his beard he was shaving his nut sick so that monkey goes shaving his
00:21:08
back your your Beard's still the same so were you shaving your oh oh you went
00:21:16
downstairs oh I'm going to have to tell the doctor you shaved your
00:21:23
taint oh okay so this is just I thought this is about twins this is about people
00:21:29
that just look alike really no relation just play a couple those two look
00:21:35
exactly like twins you can turn the sound down I'm just shocked how close they look with
00:21:45
no kind of yeah that's those guys aren't perfect those
00:21:51
guys are pretty close 250 sisters the first three were the
00:21:56
best they all look like oh look at that 44d those aren't even
00:22:02
the close one of them
00:22:08
dark Subway that looks like the first guys again oh that's pretty good do they
00:22:13
have to make him hug and look all weird and some look strange and no that's not
00:22:18
I like they dress him the same that does help that hey hey we're from
00:22:25
Mars man it's moving too quickly I can't do it
00:22:31
but don't make him hug his head okay was it don't stop stop picking on people who
00:22:36
look alike don't just take a picture and just I know they're going they're like hey you and Dana wear like a little
00:22:43
necklace together in a black shirt then you got to hold me and hold my head like they uh oh uh oh yeah we should I should
00:22:49
put my metaphorical hand somehow hey hey reference Al ref
00:22:55
reference alert yeah what Patty d show they look alike they sound alike it will
00:23:01
blow your mind cousins are too of a Kind yeah that's 1951 you weren't even oh boy
00:23:07
you weren't around on the planet no that's the 60s yeah here we go okay good Ed Sharon whoa when you Lo when you go
00:23:15
on OIC get a get a better a better shirt okay you've got the the fatty collar on
00:23:22
all right makes you look like a turtle coming out of a that's justar go ahead
00:23:28
doesn't look like he's lost weight and has a big shirt well read the caption oh Ed Sheran superan gets married to
00:23:36
oh Ed lookalike for the people that is a really good lookalike okay the audio
00:23:43
people get screwed because this is an edge shearing guy I thought he got married but he's just a look alike but
00:23:48
he marries a fan of the real Edge sh look at him dance like him too look at
00:23:55
me go oh I guess you spread what is that picture what the don't
00:24:02
please don't you do that in your kills when you pick your wedding pictures go nope not that one no this is not going
00:24:09
to end well are they gonna have a baby that looks like Ed Sharon I mean where does this end I mean ice cream shaped
00:24:14
like Ed S oh that's a Johnny Depp Foo and a Gordon
00:24:19
Ramsey all the fos came oh the Gordon Ramsay
00:24:25
okay it's pretty good is that one no that looks like Ed Sharon
00:24:31
probably as a teenager you know oh they're different eras of Ed Sharon look oh
00:24:38
boym you got to dye your hair red that's a first order of Biz I like Ed
00:24:44
Sharon you're not even in the mix I think Theo just interviewed him he's over in uh London Theo went to London
00:24:53
hey man my the pilot was a raccoon
00:24:59
raccoons is a funny word a funny word Theo it's always in some story in third
00:25:05
grade my friend got a raccoon pregnant he went to my
00:25:10
school but when the baby came out it was a bat it was a bat wasn't even a baby
00:25:15
raccoon came out sideways um okay next one I like that Ed Sharon story it's
00:25:22
funny look at Spade's new [ __ ] pumps uh Balenciaga releases uh I guess
00:25:27
they're not can any here come the big [Music]
00:25:34
stepper so these are real clown shoes that you can get for 13
00:25:39
H you never get me anything well now hey wait wait for wait
00:25:45
for the next holiday or whatever Heather make a note those those fit your
00:25:50
personality if people can see them yeah we're all clowns but you're a little
00:25:56
more clownish than average twig ankles ah what what is I mean I mean how
00:26:05
well how much $1,300 1300 for these wrangling
00:26:11
brothers there m there's a boo the clown Motif in these right okay it's like
00:26:18
either join the circus or go to the freak Show over look made something from
00:26:23
3D or something you know I like when Drake saor this great comic used to say I
00:26:29
saw ton for the Ronald McDonald House I said how big of a house is this [ __ ]
00:26:34
clown need I mean they're up to six million you need one room just for the
00:26:41
shoes he sound a lot like Dennis remember Drake he was on the
00:26:46
young comedians F oh yeah no Drake was brilliant yeah I'm just thinking that those are made by AI I'm just calling
00:26:53
that [ __ ] I wish that that a AI is like I don't make anything that
00:26:59
stupid but thank you I'm smarter than the everyone on Earth but I still talk
00:27:06
like a monic robot from 1952 thank you for giving me a shout out and talking
00:27:11
and using my name but take my AI out of your [ __ ] mouth when you talk about clown
00:27:17
shoes it's just get your a out of my [ __ ] orifice and stop I'll kick your
00:27:23
[ __ ] a i mhm all right threat to humanity oh wait Facebook has shut down
00:27:30
an AI engine oh it created a unique language that humans couldn't understand folks uh it's time we hit it quicker
00:27:39
than we thought look at Zuckerberg wait I'm your leader not
00:27:45
anymore then he goes me me beoop and the other one goes uhhuh he goes what are
00:27:50
you guys talking about what are you guys talking about I don't even understand it get this shut up it's it's an AI man
00:27:59
it's got its own language shut up Brian shut up AI you work for me I'm your boss
00:28:05
yeah I can't understand the robot I can't I can't understand Mark Zuckerberg's haircut it's the same kind
00:28:11
of mystery I don't understand what the robot's saying or Zucker Bird's haircut
00:28:16
even though he's probably a robot isn't he sort of a robot the the AI goes why would you choose that haircut with all
00:28:23
the haircuts in the world it is boggling to me here's Zucker ber in front of the
00:28:29
Senate yes Senator I will consider everything you say thank you Senator we
00:28:35
will try better ha haha haha that was a great visual for people listening to
00:28:42
this oh you went like this I did my little he did that because the cameras were going and he just went left to
00:28:47
right really slowly so he get very here Mark over here guess what
00:28:55
Senator my AI drones will attack this building in 15 seconds here's a premise
00:29:01
you have a minute just David right yeah I think eventually they keep saying
00:29:09
that AI is going to take all the jobs right right but are they gonna take our
00:29:15
job because at some point they're going to be actionable AI robots they will
00:29:21
then make their exterior look like iconic Comedians and then maybe they'll
00:29:27
go r and there'll be a trial we can't do your haircut we have
00:29:33
tried over 3,000 they'll say Mr J 1000 do you freely admit to murdering 200
00:29:40
patrons at the sir lelot Comedy Club yeah I did I killed them all you know
00:29:46
you freely admit to killing them all well you know that was uh my uh my prompter minky had a couple pops and um
00:29:53
on the way to the show he was going leaving the green room and he says uh not knock him dead j1000 so I did you
00:30:00
know I picked up a chair and I beat the hell out of the entire audience well what would and I do it again at the same
00:30:06
circumstances you know my logic chip with without and uh you know my empathy chip needed to be replaced so you know I
00:30:12
just I did what I was told they what have I was told kill people get check or
00:30:18
the or you could have the Johnny 1000 yeah I would yeah I beat the hell out of them because I you know my empathy chip
00:30:24
was gone and my logic chip was defunct and um I do it all over again so uh
00:30:30
we're all fine now and I I'm playing yuck yucks with David Spade is my opener
00:30:35
the David Spade 3000 the robot David hi everyone uh God
00:30:42
what's my opener I don't know hey everyone no I can't well no you would the AI be so good it would just
00:30:49
talk like you what's that it would be it would talk exactly like you it would download every joke um oh that I ever
00:30:56
told it would look at all your specials your Hollywood minute um some of your
00:31:02
tonight's show appearances baby pictures talk to friends I'd probably be interviewed then
00:31:09
it would make the uh the Spy 1200 and you would just tour
00:31:16
no I would call it the spaty one trillion sounds cooler but the AI and then I talk to it
00:31:22
what's up one Trill that's good all right what's the next story
00:31:28
I like that little run mhm um oh yeah this is something now Paul Pierce is great he's
00:31:35
on the Celtics I did this just strike strikes not odd and this is so normal Hall of Famer he was on okay you can
00:31:43
play this right this is just he's excited [Music] obviously I'm
00:31:49
so I'm so hyped right now all right that's all you need anything's possible
00:31:56
so he the the Celtics one he was on next day on ESPN and he had a big chain on
00:32:02
with like a trophy and he's like oh my God now I totally understand that but
00:32:08
would it be like if SNL won an Emy this year for best show and then you came on this show with a chain and Emmy around
00:32:14
and saying we did it I know he played there 10 years ago he won a title with
00:32:21
them he's a he's an all-time great yeah when he says anything's possible it's like Saturday Night Live wins in Emmy
00:32:27
for you know whatever their debate sketches or and I'm like anything's
00:32:33
possible like can you believe it I'm beside myself they actually W an M me
00:32:40
it's a little patronizing but he's also wearing like things like he won also he's like we did it I'm part of it I'm
00:32:46
oh and it's like you like me or you going we did it and I got to be there I
00:32:51
should be there when it happens I should run around and scream like at the end yeah I would push Colin Jo out of the
00:32:56
way dude we did this is a team Victory we did this together right it's it's a
00:33:03
sort of a flimsy premise but I that's what I thought when I watched it I would I would uh suffice to say there was an
00:33:09
adult beverage involved yeah I was a little buzzed and yeah okay uh but it
00:33:15
Paul Pierce alltime great I really like don't throw that in you're supposed to say well I because I am a basketball fan
00:33:22
what am I supposed to say no I didn't get the cute card right no I like Paul Pierce too that's I said it better than
00:33:28
you I like him more than you do okay go ahead what's don't be jealous of my ring lights okay yeah we're doing all right
00:33:35
oh prostitute chases Eagles linebacker trell leis down a hotel hallway naked
00:33:41
after he ran away from a thre some went out paying so he's a real I like Danny just
00:33:49
goes it happens okay go ahead oh my
00:33:55
God who's filming him the other one they're look at she's naked you're going
00:34:00
to tackle him it's so hysterical that's not where you want to
00:34:07
be caught on Instagram yeah well that's like if you
00:34:12
if you hire a lady friend for that type of thing and you you go U so we'll do this and we'll do that and U do you have
00:34:19
a time for the 40 yard dash were you in the combine I go about 51 okay um
00:34:27
prob yeah I'd be I'd be uh 5'8 well okay so then he thought he could get away but
00:34:33
I think he was caught tackled I think he was hot hog tied and then the ladies switched it where they paid him for his
00:34:40
Services when I'm with uh prostitutes and when I walk out of the room I go like whaty hell and I go you take
00:34:50
Bitcoin awkward situation I was meant to think ahead and
00:34:55
maybe didn't have enough funds presently but definitely be back on run to the ATM I forgot my pin number yeah
00:35:04
he'd be Mark sure I you know I forgot my checkbook you know I uh I don't carry cash because I get nauseous at the idea
00:35:12
of someone robbing me so I uh I forgot it my identification but were to no
00:35:17
you're a wonderful wonderful no you're a beautiful intelligent woman woman I can't you I love you but I you know I'm
00:35:25
just allergic to payments there's a hotel pen in IOU it's easily
00:35:31
to take it anywhere accepted everywhere I love that you had Woody Allen with Bitcoin I don't know I would
00:35:38
bet anything he's not as Bitcoin but if he is no I I stumbled into it because I
00:35:44
was like awkwardly stepping out of the room and I'm like who's awkward oh Woody Allen yeah okay well I hope
00:35:51
those Sam bankman you know sorry let me if you could just I just butt dialed Sam
00:35:58
bankman he owes me a phone call he's serving you know 4,000 years in prison
00:36:04
not counting on let me untangle that web and I'll get F back to yeah
00:36:10
like I did them on know I'm Rusty Dogecoin maybe I could inter you it
00:36:16
Dogecoin is a good one yeah don't take cash but perhaps you take Dogecoin you
00:36:22
know it's a great little cryptocurrency and it's all the raid
00:36:28
in the meantime I found a $2 chip from cir circus that'll be a down
00:36:37
payment Circ circus is a funny reference can we try to get Woody Allen on our
00:36:42
show please God let's get some [ __ ] stars yeah uh okay what else next one
00:36:48
we're getting there Dana we're almost done I don't I have no nowhere to go this should cost a million dollars
00:36:54
minimum for this part okay okay here's a kind of here's a crazy story LA City
00:37:00
Council Members have removed no u-turn signs in LA in a gay neighborhood because the
00:37:06
signs were homophobic no this is not satire so I don't even know what what no
00:37:13
you-turn would signify to be honest I don't know I want to know the person who
00:37:18
gathers these clips I want to meet that person it's kind of a funny one because
00:37:23
you think this is a mile from where we live and they're like have you seen they
00:37:28
still have no u-turn signs up I'm like why is that bad well you know how
00:37:35
are they connected I don't know how it's connected that's I mean there's probably other signs that
00:37:41
are more incin I don't even know what they inin I don't I mean mer you know
00:37:46
tra oh merge merge might something watch for Falling Rock what clearly be
00:37:52
homophobic watch for falling [ __ ] would really be um there you go there's our
00:37:58
we have our clip for this week fall oh never set up Spade like that me
00:38:05
a bar that was perfect yeah then we go back into Woody
00:38:12
falling [ __ ] back up a little bit Yeah time I got nailed by a five incher I was
00:38:20
s the base was particularly inep but never mind careful if girthy you don't
00:38:27
want um okay uh is that it on the whole thing or we got anymore it's too long
00:38:35
[Music]
00:38:41
oh now this is too long but I will play This Dana this is just a funny dating
00:38:46
show and it's so cheap and it's about two minutes but the guy is so cocky but
00:38:52
the funny part is they don't like him they pop their balloon that's how cheap they don't like him they pop the balloon
00:38:57
we got five six ladies lined up on a game show stage five beautiful girls one good here comes the Bro looking for a
00:39:03
wife because his sassy welcome I'll have you hold this all right if we can have
00:39:09
your name uh my name is Aaron Aaron how old are you I'm 29 29 knows what he wants what do you do U I'm a licensed
00:39:15
plumber and now what are some of your deal breakers uh deal breaker being promiscuous non cleanly don't have a
00:39:22
career nothing really going for yourself that's so we did get a Papal oh Pop
00:39:28
already there see what's going on yes all right if we can have your name and age and why you popped your balloon hi
00:39:34
my name is karma I'm 24 um for me it just did not work I didn't feel like I had chemistry I wasn't fully attracted to you and I feel like that counts if
00:39:40
going through a DA show Fair yes the feeling is definitely mutual so uh that's okay thank you you did me a favor
00:39:47
you absolutely he has to get that in you too okay this is kind of a great show
00:39:54
all right we got oh we missed the noise they popped it we can have your name and age and why you ended up popping your
00:39:59
balloon hear the pop hi my name is jar I'm 22 okay and why did we end up popping our balloon um the comment you
00:40:04
made she's cute oh here comes another one person that's the one that responds
00:40:09
so defensive yeah that's really it I didn't really necessary like f hey I
00:40:15
could just all I can do is be honest you know yeah be honest be to to find a match sure that one
00:40:21
manchion that's all Queen 100% okay Queen that's all queen and I was um she's someone that your type um she all
00:40:29
right you know you're not really my type I don't mean to be disrespectful has to get it in there he didn't care about her
00:40:35
another pop you hear that pop in the background there another every time he talks there's more Pops that's the
00:40:40
funniest part just stop talking my eyes are up here baby are you
00:40:47
looking at the tattoo no I I'm I'm looking at the hair on your arms you know women I deal with they don't have
00:40:53
hair on their don't do too much hey I'm just being honest you know I I don't like
00:41:00
that that's all I was looking at you trying to say if I'm looking at particular body part wasn't looking my eyes I was looking at the hair on your
00:41:09
arm ask me the question um yeah I'm in Hills and you ain't tall enough oh get
00:41:15
that in there well you're not qualified baby so that's all good you're not qualified to go inure my name is Kayla
00:41:22
I'm 23 um originally I was not GNA pop my balloon because I know a lot of them popped it because he was being I guess
00:41:28
arrogant but to me I like my man that's not going to sit in every girl face and
00:41:33
okay she starts out pretty good all right good so I didn't find that offensive to me but I'm very like I don't want to say I'm argumentative but
00:41:39
I don't want my man to argue back with me because then one way AR be a problem that was the only reason why I my
00:41:45
because I was just like dang um but then with me you kind of got a little bit caddy with me you a little sassy just a
00:41:52
little bit and since you want to come at everybody over here I'm going to get at you too you kind to look like a ninja
00:41:57
turtle you're not that oh my God bro you you need to relax you stocking as hell
00:42:04
and I was trying to be respectful but like you was you was really coming out like I didn't I didn't like it I'm from the south and I can handle like a lot of
00:42:12
criticism and stuff like that but the way you was coming you just like that I guarantee you probably got a roommate at
00:42:17
home and it's just not giving anymore well let me say this queen I'm a licensed plumber I thr my face I live
00:42:25
downtown I live downtown I stay by myself Queen I'll clean yourip and you're not even qualified to be dealing
00:42:32
not qualif definitely not if anything it was one of these too I wasn't even looking your way you a Mye if I seen
00:42:39
that's fine that that totally nothing gets him down one thing about me I could pull 100,000 on the bank can you do the
00:42:45
same yeah you can't do that go oh there you go Queen one of the
00:42:51
hilarious one of the great shows one of the best um game shows I've
00:42:57
ever seen um riveting funny I don't know what's the name of it should we should
00:43:03
we have that guy on it's called it's called the game show the best game show
00:43:08
under $200 all you need is five balloons and then that scrim in the back which was
00:43:15
from like a Japanese Resturant so low budget and how did we not think of it
00:43:20
how did we not so [ __ ] funny that every time he talks someone pops a balloon and he keeps going God damn it
00:43:26
what am I saying wrong Queen what are you saying right Queen she says you look like a someone from Ninja Turtle
00:43:34
something like so [ __ ] rude and then he gets on his heels and goes no no first of all you're dis you're not
00:43:39
qualified you're disqualified and she's like yeah we all are we obviously I just liked it because it was the cheapest
00:43:45
funniest and every time he starts talking hear pop and he's like oh [ __ ] I lost another
00:43:51
one it's a good show it's a good show I mean I mean
00:43:57
he could he could learn to not get defensive because that's not that's not attractive but the guy had funny huge
00:44:05
arms I mean like really big arms he stood sideways like this yeah don't
00:44:10
worry about that Queen you ain't but then he goes can you you had 100 Grand in the bank yeah he has to get
00:44:17
that in there I didn't think so certified plumber licensed plumber I wonder if they the the the
00:44:25
ladies the young women they get new balloons and another guy comes out or I don't probably well they would be
00:44:31
expensive get a new cast refill the balloons we're holding for 10 minutes we need the helium guy out here we only had
00:44:38
five balloons we didn't know we're going to tape two today we're going to get have to get six more balloons one back up yeah no I think I think there's some
00:44:46
legs there I'm going to talk to Ted I'm going to patch him in um all right is that it I like how he always say is that
00:44:52
it we're trying to wrap up I'm just going to do a quick one cuz I always oh yeah you got one oh good you got to buy feel like the only one who really
00:44:59
understands Biden is Hunter all the time if Joe's a little tired he gets a little slurry so Hunter invites him maybe to
00:45:05
see a movie okay H hey Dad would you like to go see a movie yeah sure let's
00:45:12
go see a movie yeah what do you think about like bad B bad bad bad boys r r or
00:45:18
die yeah bad boys right or die yeah remember the original bad boy was supposed to Star Dana Carvey and John
00:45:25
Lov yeah saying as car is joh L they make with the bad buy the ride the die
00:45:31
the B The Bu go by by I Can't Believe It's Not Butter okay Dad let's go to the S let's
00:45:38
go to the clex and then you like in sync yeah byebye baby byebye it's one of their
00:45:47
songs also I like when he goes what song what what movie you want to see and he goes hey I see the one how's that and
00:45:54
then Hunter goes burn Gully that's out so no matter what he says he
00:46:01
misunderstand yeah let's go it's like that it's like yeah let's go see the movie Horizon no The Hunt for Red
00:46:10
October that's not playing anywhere that's not
00:46:20
Bambi Shogun Shogun come on [ __ ] this kid real
00:46:28
I'm GNA freeze for a second he goes like this Shogun are you going to freeze
00:46:35
dad he's not freezing this just fake news fake
00:46:42
news oh boy edited glitched edited glitched um I think that's it what else
00:46:50
you got anything before we these poor viewers what else what else she got what do you got I think we got it I think we
00:46:56
got it we killed it man let's get some fan interaction next week maybe where they
00:47:03
show us Impressions or I think uh dating advice would be fun yeah write give us
00:47:08
some dating advice or ask us on YouTube and we'll pick one off of there oh you can leave it on YouTube or email at uh
00:47:15
Superfly odyssey.com Au that that Superfly ay.com a UD d a c y Superfly s
00:47:24
u p e r f y odssey AUD ay.com by the way
00:47:31
I'm I just announced the new tour dates for the fall go to david.com and I'll be on the bus tour next week so I will
00:47:37
we'll either do Superfly from there or whatever we'll figure it out is this one out Friday yeah this one's Friday and
00:47:45
then next week is another one all right so if you're listening to this tomorrow night I'm at oh good the golden
00:47:52
something I don't know is this Orville Orville had look up casino at Orville
00:47:59
what where is Orville is it in California Orville is like 65 miles north of Sacramento up in the up in the
00:48:06
mountains it's near Chico backu in ch country or is it Gold Country something country
00:48:13
okay Gold Country Casino Gold Country Gold Country Casino in orille California
00:48:19
two shows right two shows 7:30 and 9:30 as they always say tickets are going
00:48:24
fast tickets available and um go see Dana is hysterical version and uh we
00:48:30
will see you guys next week and we'll give you a full report on what happened perfect okay bye-bye bye-bye
00:48:38
now this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced
00:48:43
by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it
00:48:53
[Music]
