00:00:00
[Music] and your hand could shake you don't know
00:00:06
you're just like yeah it's almost too much and especially if you've never I mean she's giving speeches but it's a
00:00:11
different animal I think let's be honest you guys what's more difficult being on
00:00:16
SNL or being president you know what I mean it's SNL it's just different
00:00:25
absolutely okay I want to start because I you can tell me what I do and I'll tell you what you do okay I see you do
00:00:30
this sometimes like when new thinking or sometimes God I touch my face sometimes like this the pinky really the pinky in
00:00:38
the ear I think unless I made it that's unless I made it up no but you're You
00:00:44
observe people I kind of observe voices and stuff on people which I didn't do before SNL because you sort of had to
00:00:49
you start to pay attention yeah but something you do is this a lean
00:00:55
back yeah and that is that is a little little bit just kind of stretching my
00:01:02
back because I'm kind of in a high chair but yeah it's probably it's also a psychotic a stress release like oh let's
00:01:09
not try too hard why don't we listen to the guests why do we have to overlap I
00:01:15
do I go like this after I interrupt everyone I go I got to reload get my energy to interrupt
00:01:22
again uh I listen to other podcasts sometimes and boy to they you know we are not the kings of uh talking over our
00:01:29
guest I'll just put it that way interrupt us yeah interrupt us
00:01:35
momentariness well my head is sort listen so my hair is all super helmet
00:01:41
because why you might be doing this today too Dana as you know Dana is in
00:01:46
New York uh they're doing an SNL photo today and it's in
00:01:54
La it's I've heard a little birdie to I think it's
00:01:59
because there's too many they're doing sections so New York and la and then
00:02:04
they're going to try to make a cover where they Jam us all on that yeah it's not Vanity Fair so I'm not I'm not going
00:02:11
to give them my total blue steel looks but it is a magazine yeah I mean it's a
00:02:17
Penny Saver you're depending on who where you are in the frame your head would maybe be the size of a dime but
00:02:24
probably smaller than a smaller than a dime a half a dime
00:02:31
so I'm not going to you know and you're supposed to dress like how you are right
00:02:36
this would you explain what we're talking about we're supposed to do a photo for the 50th anniversary with
00:02:43
people that were involved in the show but there's so many people I don't know if it'll be a full cattle call like at
00:02:49
Dodger Stadium or it's going to be isn't it for New Yorker magazine sorry New Yorker
00:02:54
magazine yeah or New York Magazine I don't know oh that that's it New York Magazine sorry
00:03:00
and who was the one we know we famously had the fight with back in the old days we wanted to beat the guy up was that
00:03:07
New York Observer or was it New York Magazine probably do you remember that I yeah Atlantic or I don't know what they
00:03:13
were but they they wrote they came and stayed with us for a week and we buddied up with a guy and then he wrote a
00:03:22
horrible oh right yeah and just [ __ ] all over it was Adam and Farley everyone's
00:03:27
like let's go down there let's beat the [ __ ] out of this total disaster Lauren
00:03:33
no if so I'm looking the other way I I have a new impression you just made me
00:03:38
think of Lauren Michaels as a bull a bullfrog in a
00:03:44
[Music] pond no by the way and guess what can I
00:03:50
ask you a question they too
00:03:55
many go ahead we actually in in our pond up on our farm once had a male bullfrog
00:04:02
sitting there in the middle of the night on the rocks and just cattle call no a
00:04:08
frog call to all the female frog it's just super loud for like hours just
00:04:13
trying to get some puss in the middle of the night but but the New York
00:04:18
Magazine yeah open for Biz open for Biz we I like yeah everyone listening is
00:04:25
like you know that's funny that doesn't happen on my pond we trapped a raccoon the other day in a cage you got a [ __ ]
00:04:32
and that whoops and then of course you go to Harrison's Hardware you get big intense gloves and you're kind of
00:04:38
wrestling with a squirly raccoon while you were cruising down going to koi to
00:04:44
get some sushi and you don't got a wrest I like it yeah when it's already killed yeah
00:04:51
you're cruising high in Your Land Cruiser looking around pulling up to the
00:04:57
valet walking in like some kind of stud Superstar and order
00:05:04
itari I go give me that octopi at half the time when you get this sush you go I
00:05:10
don't like the octopi you always see a little and you go you know a good doctor could bring this back to life yeah
00:05:16
that's that's that notion that that's the gross part it brings you to the table and still alive and then somewhere
00:05:22
it it yeah I don't like it I like it I like it medium well I don't like it rare
00:05:29
I don't want to hamburger I don't know if I like this look today but go ahead well well here I'll I'll come around to
00:05:35
this New York Magazine ask me in the email would you like a
00:05:40
groomer we have hair people and also would you like a personal groomer that
00:05:45
we can fly in um what yeah groomer now a groomer
00:05:51
spoiled you have makeup you have hair this is sorry inside if you're going on a talk show but a groomer is like an
00:05:58
overarching person that tells you how to groom yourself up I said I don't you know I
00:06:04
don't Heather what about that you is that a groomer or is it a do you have a stylist
00:06:12
Dana um it's the overarching name of it yeah
00:06:18
my whole goal is Bed Head next day hair so I don't really need people quaffing
00:06:25
my hair you know when you go on a movie and by the time you get in front of the camera it doesn't look anything like thank you you go mine is Bed Head hair I
00:06:33
don't care that's my that's really my look most days today they just went shellack I think it looks very tidy very
00:06:41
early Steve McQueen you know you look a little biker I'm probably I'm older than Steve
00:06:47
McQueen when did he uh I delic 4 or 50 he went to the Stars God dang really
00:06:55
yeah I had a weird SNL thing the the sketch got cut and I feel bad about it
00:07:01
we had KLA show was loaded kamla was the I say it wrong kamla was in the 28
00:07:08
minute cold opening yes and it was do we so were
00:07:14
you what I wanted to say because this election happened and a lot of
00:07:20
people are upset which is normal and um it was pretty much decided by 2: a.m. I
00:07:28
guess cuz I went to bed and it was like asleep time yeah 12 or something my time
00:07:33
in New York and then I woke up and I was like I checked and it says Trump
00:07:38
wins and um here's my takeaway from the coverage last night did you watch any of
00:07:44
it maybe you didn't I did watch some yeah they have these guys and I know they've done this for several Cycles now
00:07:51
but it seems more sophisticated the guy's up with the map and he's like a wizard moving things around and here you
00:07:57
see in Calico County here Joe Biden carried 28,000 and uh come here the
00:08:04
metric it was like just this massive in there's so much going on yeah more than
00:08:10
more than ever like little circles little circles little counties these counties this is how they voted This Is
00:08:16
How They will vote this what we think they'll vote very complex uh we're going to talk you know when we have Gaffigan
00:08:23
on in a little bit he was taped right before the election just so we are clear
00:08:29
are talking right after and election night he was taped before election night
00:08:34
yeah that day so he if we don't mention that he see the Magic Man and see these big blue circles that means a lot of
00:08:41
young college voters could be coming in late over here but these little red dots these are rural voters these are really
00:08:47
really stupid people and they live way out yeah it's so true they kept it
00:08:53
pretty neutral I think they both of them seem very scientific CNN these hay seeds
00:08:58
out here yeah I'd flip back and forth because I sort of want to get a real gauge some talk one way it's funny cuz
00:09:05
sometimes they don't count you know they don't count anything officially as far as a state for a while I kind of like if
00:09:12
they wait because there's too many they can flip it's too close you know they'll say like 10 things in a row that looks
00:09:19
like the state's going to be won by Cala or or Trump go but what I said means nothing anything could change don't
00:09:25
listen to me let's just give it away but these counties are not going and then they put Biden versus Trump 2020 and
00:09:32
here you see the metrics here he's up one and a half percent over this time last time I mean yeah it was amazing I
00:09:38
was exhausted it's really hard on me I do I do look forward to the it's hard on you the
00:09:45
um political ads going away did you choke up political I no I turned into
00:09:52
RFK a political ads going away it's like someone who who's really sad for a second so I'm just really upset about
00:09:58
the political ads going away started crying no I choked on something but yeah
00:10:05
the political ads uh and the local ones uh oh yeah Prop 47 Bill squank me killed
00:10:13
someone oh you act like you didn't know that you know you vote for him if you
00:10:19
want to die proposition 119 to help the
00:10:25
children don't you want to help the children
00:10:31
Mary Wang doesn't want you to know she beats her babies she has 11 babies and beats the
00:10:39
[ __ ] out of them you didn't hear it from us Mary Wang really doesn't know a lot about this hat Bill Campbell likes to
00:10:47
climb mountains and throw rocks on Nursery School kids do you want to stop
00:10:53
Bill Campbell prop 11 cuz stop throwing dirt going like
00:11:03
this he built a roller coaster that exploded at the state fair then he
00:11:08
laughed they show him is that who you want or you want
00:11:14
that guy oh okay he strangled a crosswalk guard and then walked away
00:11:20
isn't it time we put them behind bars proposition 1,348 cuz it's time you remember when
00:11:28
Jim Jenkins put a nun in a sleeper hold we do here's a
00:11:34
clip vote for them if you want I don't know about you I don't want to go into a guillotine hold do you remember do you
00:11:41
remember when Kathy Wood fly slapped her pet duck in the face this this purpose
00:11:49
this ad is against duck slapping paid for the committee to Duck's laughing
00:11:54
this this ad was paid for by the duck tired of seeing
00:12:01
like tired of seeing rabbits bullied this that is pay for their Dawn
00:12:07
rabits bub now they just super fast okay go ahead I have to show you a picture just
00:12:13
because we're on the subject which we're not this is a mystery picture I just got because you know lojo Lori Joe who's
00:12:23
been working with Norm forever she's going through his stuff she just sent me pictures it's kind of a tear jerk it's just funny because I have no idea what
00:12:30
this is from here's a funny here's a funny picture I go Lori Joe I don't
00:12:35
remember this but Norm really fell apart at the end is that Norm now I said this is uh
00:12:43
rubbing face this is um I don't know what I'm by uh trellis is that what it's
00:12:48
called Heather all I'm saying when I look at this because of the stories I've heard when a chimp goes full chimp you
00:12:55
are in danger in that picture sir if that trip chimp decides to turn and eat
00:13:01
your face in one second there's not a thing you could do or was ever off camera so you got to be careful he says
00:13:08
I have the strength of a much bigger chimp than I am by the way he has pants on so he's sort of domesticated but I'm
00:13:15
holding this and she said there's another picture of Norm holding another chimp I'm like where are we maybe this
00:13:22
is when we went to the zoo and taught animals how to do standup sketches I've been around chimps
00:13:29
but I don't remember holding one like that for a photo I'm holding it wrong but I don't even know how I'm where's my arm I don't know what's going on do you
00:13:35
have friends who terrified I am who dress up indigenous chimpanzees into
00:13:41
clown clothes and then hold them for photos pay for the people who want to keep Chip's dignity I don't know about
00:13:48
you but if I'm a chimp I don't want to look like a jackass paid for by chimps that don't
00:13:54
look like jackass yeah okay that was a good one a chimp you made a chimp look like jackass I don't know if what the
00:14:00
third is there there's got to be a third you know jackass also there's a big hubub if
00:14:06
we're going into stories about it's sort of political there's a lot of Stories
00:14:12
the uh squirrel this's a tough story for Heather here this is a tough story for anyone to hear the squirrel was was uh
00:14:21
euthanized because oh yeah New York's decision to seize seize is rough too that reminds me
00:14:28
I got get a Power Crunch so the New York decide to get one specific squirrel why
00:14:34
do you know the story it said I've only heard about peen at the squirrel but I didn't know there euthanized in him in
00:14:39
New York when there's 10 million squirrels why this squirrel by the way you kill an animal that's the front page
00:14:46
people will flip out so understandably there was a squirrel they called in that it bit someone
00:14:53
Heather or might have bitten someone oh turn rabbit or something so they say oh
00:14:58
in fear of rabies but and then they got there first question they asked do you
00:15:04
have any cameras in the house why I'm getting to the juicy part they also
00:15:09
found a raccoon took that euthanized that they said in case people have
00:15:14
rabies and it's like crazy so now I think I got that right but now the guy says they asked if we have cameras
00:15:21
because the neighbor was mad they do only fans so they were looking for a reason
00:15:27
to to bother them and they didn't like that and I don't know I'm sort of making
00:15:33
this up but they were they think that was the
00:15:39
reason they wanted they didn't like them because they're doing only fans like a couple or something H I like how I've
00:15:46
not one fact not nothing nothing it's a fascin but I will say they I know it
00:15:51
really petered off at the end but uh and then I thought is the guy getting
00:15:57
attention for the only F even though the squirrel is a national story everyone is
00:16:05
you need attention to trend on only fans are everything we just don't do crazy
00:16:10
stuff we would never hurt an animal to get ratings on our podcast news flash
00:16:16
secondarily who decided to call killing an animal euthanizing an animal Bill
00:16:21
euthanize Bill euthanize invented the word euthanize so people I know about
00:16:27
but that sounds pretty pretty good he wasn't killed he was euthanized PID for people to want stop s
00:16:35
bite anyone people that want to just go back to the word killed um okay let's go to the stories
00:16:42
then because should we or what do you want to [Music]
00:16:53
talk Danny you know uh everyone I think at some point has s with credit uh uh I
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00:19:44
results May Vary all right I'll tell you about my coloween costume idea okay it's
00:19:49
not Jason Kelce it is picture this idea it's it's it's for it's for the 40 plus
00:19:56
crowd so I have scraggly Brown hair about down to here and I have like a striped shirt on mhm and a coke spoon
00:20:05
around my neck and I go as peppermint chatty hey man what's going on how's your Halloween going I'm G to start
00:20:10
working out you know who Peppermint Patty is right yeah Peppermint Patty and okay I
00:20:17
see it now can we we have a picture of this no I'm just saying I want to go next year is peppermint shatty oh I
00:20:24
see yeah oh there it is what now young
00:20:30
yeah no this is Trump um during his uh Speech uh to claim victory in the
00:20:36
presidential thing and he had he just was really rested he finally took a took a really wrong nap I took a long nap and
00:20:44
I couldn't believe it and here I am but I guess that's actually Trump someone sent this to me I guess it's Trump as a
00:20:50
little kid or is it a kid who looks like Trump or is it photoshopped or is it AI or is it none
00:20:57
of the above let's go to the phon you know Mom what I perfectly trumps I know
00:21:02
it's too it's definitely has to be you're right it's a com over and the kid one you know I'm doing terrific and I
00:21:08
could use some milk and you know how I like it I like it the regular way so let's get busy mom you know how I do
00:21:15
these things and you look at it and you see yeah like you know how I do these things also what did oh he said in his
00:21:23
speech he goes and I'm not going to rest I'm like I think you need to rest a little because he's he's older and he's
00:21:29
been campaigning for straight for a month he's got I saw a little mini dock
00:21:35
of when he he said GNA run for president 2022 and he was almost you could hear the crew stifling laughs like oh come on
00:21:43
man you're so over guy don't put us through this it is the most you got I mean you just can't he's like
00:21:48
radioactive you couldn't kill him if you tried he's like right unbelievable whoopy whoopies mhm all right you have a
00:21:56
picture of let's go back to Jason yeah we can trend on this one well these guys are of course our
00:22:03
buddies Jason was on the show so it's a very serious picture of is that his new head shot I don't I don't mind it so uh
00:22:11
he's he's wearing that Madonna microphone um so he goes to a game of
00:22:17
course I know nothing he goes to football college game he's leaving you know when you leave people come up and
00:22:23
talk to you but also to get clout some people start trouble of of course
00:22:29
because mhm getting in a situation with a celey is way better because you're going to wind up minimum on TMZ so for
00:22:37
good or bad just want to get attention so he used a
00:22:42
slur referring to his brother and I would say this from observing and having Jason on the Kelsey Brothers like if it
00:22:49
was if it was right on Jason I don't think he would have uh gotten tweaked by
00:22:55
it but when you when you attack my brother brother I don't it's the kelse Go full
00:23:02
Kelsey at that point and in this case the guy is compared to a regular human being he's he's exceptionally strong
00:23:10
like you would not want him so it's an act of kindness to take his phone and smash it as opposed to young man's head
00:23:18
so sure and you know I think I saw the story and then Jason fought back and it sort of went badly for both for
00:23:24
everybody involv fine but I get mad like that too and I think there's not enough
00:23:31
attention on the guy that did it like how uncool that was there just more make
00:23:37
saying Jason are you sure you apologize should we accept this but go look at the instigator of everything who's I don't
00:23:44
know he got his phone broken who cares he said something foul and out of the blue to [ __ ] with him to get a reaction
00:23:50
but you saw him walking until he said my brother so it's it's kind of a thing He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother so don't
00:23:57
mess with brother is what I'm getting from them and also if you're going to yell something at a Kelsey and you yell
00:24:04
at the other brother you go to Travis and you say something about uh uh his
00:24:09
his brother you're going to get similar situation you're gonna get something but the cell phone was an act of kindness
00:24:14
rather than a right cross in a face because you know when you're 270 lbs you can you really hurt people you know I
00:24:22
have that and and the thing is people are on the street sometimes and they'll yell David Spade and whatever but and
00:24:28
you know I go I go nuclear I I'm scrapp I go low then I go high I'll take three
00:24:34
to get in they say Dana and I say yes and they go oh are you Dana and then it gets
00:24:40
confusing and then I take their phone I try to lift it and then I throw it one guy said to me what whatever whatever
00:24:46
happened to David Spade and I slapped his face really hard nothing [ __ ] oh
00:24:52
and that was our manager Mark gervitz I was kidding I just want I one simple
00:24:58
question why isn't Spade like money why won't he get in the rocket ship and fly for 12 hours in a snowstorm
00:25:06
likes money apparently you don't Rob low likes money we have to make I think Mark would
00:25:12
like this we have to make we have them little puppets of like a little frog or something like this that kind of looks
00:25:18
like our manager yeah you bar don't like money because it is like a puppet show at this point you go Mark I'm flying
00:25:25
around the globe three times I got a globe my office doesn't look that IG yeah trust me it's trust me trust me
00:25:34
you're going to like it when you get the check but I go I thought it was going to be more money the landscape has changed
00:25:40
that's a good one it's not good out there right now everybody's getting hurt I go really smartless is getting
00:25:46
hurt not them everybody's taking trust me taking a trust me they're not making what you think I go I think they I think
00:25:52
they're doing fine everybody's getting a haircut that's a good one too everybody's getting a haircut everybody everybody's taking l
00:25:58
everybody's thinking all right next story even though Mark's the funniest one who's the
00:26:04
funniest oh yeah how we done okay another Kelsey story okay oh this is
00:26:09
another Kelsey story this is they made I think Heather knew it did you know this
00:26:15
they made a a Hallmark movie but based on Taylor and Travis oh okay some third party not them okay let's look at the
00:26:22
pick I don't think they're part of it yeah oh no they make him look like an idiot right away
00:26:31
why would a great looking football player have a chance the bester in the world get his number it's her it's her I
00:26:38
want to see you again in a movie people like Regular People huh don't
00:26:44
screw this up I promise not to fall up of course there's an imaginary little
00:26:49
sister more I'm with you the more I really I just can't believe they got a documentary crew to follow them around
00:26:55
like this it's so spot on we're trying to keep this L Squam
00:27:01
blomer in a FL production is this the whole [ __ ] movie my god look how much
00:27:08
she looks like Taylor Swift on stage oh boy I'll tell you what they would never make this with just comedians like us
00:27:15
and a pop star he's funny get his number yeah um he tackled her down and
00:27:23
married her but I'm sure in this movie they get married what do you you think
00:27:29
uh yes because they want ratings and they want money and they like money see
00:27:35
people onk like money let's ask Heather uh Heather what do you think of having a
00:27:41
boyfriend who's like 68 to 660 as your boyfriend and he can pick
00:27:49
you up throw you over his shoulder swing you around throw you in a stroller you
00:27:54
know I mean is there are you asking is it good that he's a football player or
00:27:59
that he's huge rich like he just carries her out on stage like a little baby and she's like 5 she's not you know and he
00:28:06
says don't drop the baby which is kind of sweet you know Taylor three you know so Heather Weighing on the size of the
00:28:13
man I'm not talking about something where ladies like to always feel a little bit smaller than their guy can
00:28:21
you hear that ladies like to feel a little smaller than the guy as consens
00:28:27
oh she says is it consensual we don't know I think it's consensual between Taylor Swift and what if it wasn't in
00:28:34
this Hallmark movie that that's where they kind of go wrong yeah he just turns it's time for me to score a touchdown
00:28:42
what now she's in now she's a hostage in his basement yeah where's where's the
00:28:47
pop star he's like I don't know you sho is with you yeah no and then the cops are like he opens the trap door and
00:28:54
looks down you'll get fed tonight yeah EX
00:28:59
ex if they spun it like that I I'd probably watch most of it um little Silence of the Lambs in
00:29:07
there keep it exciting I wish them all the best they they have to be if you take Trump as a metric as a metric of
00:29:14
resiliency no matter what's throwing at him he just keeps coming the world attention on this couple just think of
00:29:21
them if as it's Taylor and Travis they're just dating you know stand this and go with it and not
00:29:29
go crazy it's good on storm yeah too many cameras got to get away listen when
00:29:35
people know you're dating and everyone comments it's already hard and then add that times well it's a Hollywood Story
00:29:42
it's the it's the handsome football star you know world class Super Bowl winner
00:29:48
just um what women like in a man he is you know and then she's supernaturally
00:29:54
talented and beautiful it's like uh kind of a fairy tale and we're all pins and
00:30:00
needles I talked to Chapel rone about it at the show she's she's a huge fan of
00:30:05
our podcast where is she get where she lean
00:30:11
in this is where she's supposed to lean in I just made that in case she's
00:30:16
listening did you did you talk to her did you go up and go hey you act like Biden the whole time when you talk to
00:30:22
people um well yeah I mean we talk with well yeah I do yeah I mean they want to
00:30:29
hear the Biden you know I ran into some nice people had some nice things to say at the party I don't want to name drop
00:30:34
John Stewart but it doesn't matter who was there but um people you know Biden's
00:30:41
a new character that's about to leave the stage but I think he should walk around
00:30:46
the White House with a t-shirt that says 81 on it what's that mean because in 2020 he
00:30:53
got 81 million votes and sweet Kamala got 66 million so she should just have a
00:31:00
t-shirt it's 81 what does it mean say 81 m and then under it you like
00:31:08
that how about just 81 million why are we hiding pretending yeah you got to
00:31:13
help people a little bit Yeah 81 million I would wanted I would have beat him like a drum I would have wanted people
00:31:19
know I would cew walk come on I'm being serious I would have beat him like a drum I did it before you do that this
00:31:25
week on the show you should be in your room with a cigarette going you know
00:31:30
what people can do the one index finger tap with the ashes because you'd think
00:31:35
mostly and it's kind of like that or something I guess somebody doesn't want to win but um uh you know it's just uh it's
00:31:44
everything's a human story I don't know how it feels to lose the presidency Trump knows how he got a little angry
00:31:50
about it he knows how to win though he's had that twice you know so looks good on the res we won't say it
00:31:58
I just changed it I talked to the Supreme Court and I could do three terms starting now I'm going to 90 I know how
00:32:05
to be90 and I'm going right there all right one more story and then
00:32:12
we got to go because we got a good guest we got we have a really good guest today we got a really good guest here we go
00:32:19
okay let's see okay this is just a goofy one so this guy is going to try to walk
00:32:24
through this hula hoop big shoulders trying to get through a hula hoop ain't
00:32:31
no way bro Ain't No Way Big Show you can turn the volume down okay here he goes
00:32:38
he's a big guy he's crossed himself he puts his he puts his sweaty sweat napkin
00:32:43
in his hat and you doing it blindfolded all bro he's creeping up on it
00:32:52
oh okay that's pretty good right it wasn't even hard it wasn't even close
00:32:58
this guy say he's blown away he's he said n bro he's uh perplexed as we
00:33:05
are this is the highlights of the world's
00:33:10
Instagrams that's out there that's a good harmless one no it didn't look like he could fit through and then he went
00:33:16
back and he went through fast and he leaned down a certain way it's kind of like when you're moving a refrigerator a couch through a door frame and some
00:33:23
reason you know you have to lift it up and it creates more vertical space or you know just you know I'm talking I saw
00:33:30
you do this once when we were going to dinner and someone had a hula hoop and you had your pile of money you carry and
00:33:36
you go you think it could fit in there and everyone's like no and then you like squished it you go look and then lot
00:33:41
fell out I know I know well that's when you got me that Dr Seuss cap for
00:33:47
Christmas and Paula said what are you gonna do with it I go stuff cash in it and go go to a restaurant with David
00:33:54
Scrooge McDuck it's a big Dr Seuss thing and I I put lots of 20s in there it's just money yeah and then all right well
00:34:02
let's get Jim out here because we're we could we have editing
00:34:08
capability um Jim next you're our buddy but you get to work with them lately I
00:34:14
worked with him for the last five shows on Saturday Night Live he came in had
00:34:19
never been an ADH never done sketch comedy as we'll talk all about that and how we found his governor wals and um
00:34:27
you know know his character uh lost the election but he didn't lose the election
00:34:33
CU that guy is a a winner as a sketch player and a comedian and a hell of a nice human being new Hulu comedy coming
00:34:39
out on November 22nd we'll talk about that here he is Jim gaap again let's talk I have a different shirt
00:34:45
[Music]
00:34:54
on hey you're bad mouthing me no he's saying you're better friends
00:35:01
than me and him are already what's going you know Dana has been like my support
00:35:06
animal yeah I've got a few laps under my
00:35:11
belt but I do say this and I've said it before it became a catchphrase as Hans and fron whoops it looks like the
00:35:20
student has become the teacher I used to say that to the junior varsity
00:35:26
sometimes Chris Rock or you or oh yeah Sandler the student has become the
00:35:32
teacher Jim is a quick learner but the first week um he texted me because you let's
00:35:39
just set the scene this is Jim gaffan he has 11 specials he's world famous he's
00:35:44
incredibly successful great standup great writer so anyway after now that's out of the way
00:35:49
now yeah he came in green going hell I don't know nothing about no sket what
00:35:56
you doing here yeah I ain't never done nothing like
00:36:03
that what's this microphone yeah why do they call it a
00:36:08
script is it live no now you do you oh
00:36:13
yeah I didn't know what to do I met that Lauren Michaels I thought
00:36:20
it was gonna be a woman you know hey Lauren I thought all I know is Lauren
00:36:25
Green he came up to me and you said I remember I quot like well Mr danag Garney what
00:36:34
should we do next what's going on this here is a big
00:36:42
building is crazy it was so bizarre yeah You' never
00:36:48
hosted just so the people know you haven't hosted so it's all new it's all not good enough I'm not good enough
00:36:54
whoops keep your phone nearby this is a long audition this four weeks it's it's
00:37:00
a microcosm of the entertainment industry right it's just every emotion
00:37:07
that a performer might feel they have felt it around SNL like
00:37:15
everyone desperately wants to do it everyone goes through emotions where they they feel like they um should be
00:37:24
there or and then they feel like they're being ignored and then they feel like they're embraced and it's just a blanket
00:37:31
every generation alive today knows about SNL it's amazing turn out was that I was
00:37:39
just that was me just saying you're doing great at the end of a question we tell you that's your limit you know what's funny is uh Greg um little Wayne
00:37:50
said he said uh the Super Bowl halftime show was ripped away from me that and I
00:37:56
think that made me think of what Jim said is there's everyone in Hollywood at some point thinks SNL was ripped away
00:38:03
they're like if they don't get asked they feel like this is the year I've done enough they should ask me right
00:38:09
kind of like that yeah it's it's such a unique uh it you know because in our
00:38:17
lifetime among in comedy it's the last pillar of this significance it's like
00:38:25
even the status of obviously HBO's great and I would love to do an HBO special
00:38:32
but like it's like compared to like when I was in my 20s an HBO special was
00:38:38
enormous I mean huge you know hosting the MTV video awards was like an incredible
00:38:46
uh event at one point and SNL has remained and let me read these other
00:38:52
things that Lauren told me to say
00:38:58
do you want to start linear Le do you want to like you got the call to do walls Governor wals yeah sure yeah
00:39:05
whatever you think I don't know I mean everybody just me coughing yeah well what I would say is of course when he
00:39:13
was picked by kamla I say kamla because I'm friends with her now yeah I call her
00:39:18
cam cam cam cam and um once he was
00:39:24
picked as the running mate every Dopey uh out of shape white guy after Steve
00:39:31
Martin turned it down was kind of like what about this guy and of course I you
00:39:38
know I would love to do it but I also know that because of The Prestige of SNL
00:39:46
it's it's not something that you can necessarily campaign for does that make
00:39:52
sense yeah so it's it's definitely uh look you just hope they find you right
00:39:59
yes and so my manager uh was talking to some someone
00:40:07
and at one point I was shooting a movie you know one day a year on a movie and I
00:40:15
was in uh in in the UK actually and so then he called me and he said hey you
00:40:23
know I've been talking to this person about you for Tim walls and I've been
00:40:28
saying that you're sending me videos of you of Tim Walls and I go really and he
00:40:36
goes yeah so now they're kind of saying can I see those videos and I was like oh so you want me
00:40:44
to and it was like 10 o'clock the night before I was doing one day on a
00:40:50
movie and but then I kind of just went
00:40:55
around my hotel room put on a jacket and took off a jacket and put on a sweater
00:41:02
and little things of Tim Walls which is essentially I'm I'm portraying my
00:41:08
brother Mitch who lives in Indiana who has a very Chicago accent it's just like a guy and um but I thought that was
00:41:16
funny and normally for me whenever I get that close I definitely don't get it
00:41:23
like whenever I test for a a sitcom it's just Marvel movie because life's hard
00:41:31
for me yeah I was for 200 Point what's
00:41:37
that I was over for 200 at one point reading for things but go ahead David I said you also have a lot of shows book
00:41:44
and also sometimes managers they told me we have the same management team and they told me hey
00:41:53
we're talking to these guy about this movie we're talking these guys about this movie and it's between you and another guy I'm like what movie so it
00:42:00
that's happens where it's like they're pushing and then you're not even aware if you want anything or not I I had not
00:42:07
read the movie I don't know what the movie's about they're going it's it's looking pretty good though it's looking pretty good I go what is but that's like
00:42:14
you they're like by the way you got Waltz second question do you want to do it of course I think you should do it
00:42:21
every wanted that's the funny thing is like what if you said I have no interest in that and then you they go oh
00:42:28
and by the way go ahead by the way
00:42:33
Li by the way again it's it's SN out so uh it's I mean I guess it's you guys
00:42:41
have a different perspective on it but it's this elusive thing that has been
00:42:46
always out of my grasp and you know you know as an American comedian that's the
00:42:54
you know the measuring stick used to be like oh you're a comedian you been on The Tonight Show or have you been on
00:42:59
Letterman and uh you know have you ever uh been on SNL you know and I did this
00:43:05
um a short Jack Handy thing a million years ago but oh love oh wow love Jacky
00:43:13
murderer interesting casting yeah yeah you know SNL this is probably of all
00:43:20
years the year to do it and the 50th is a big year and an election year which is always big for S live so the com combo
00:43:27
platter is a big bigger deal you know how fun you got to be a part of this one
00:43:34
massive Global pickup with this show yeah it's crazy how how uh
00:43:42
viral everything the particularly the the political thing uh on SNL it's like
00:43:51
there's the people that watch it but now we're in this clip age where then the
00:43:58
clip goes You Know The Daily Beast posts about it the Drudge Report posts about
00:44:04
it it's it's almost you know it becomes unavoidable it's I think deadline I
00:44:11
follow deadline I think deadline on Twitter puts every single sketch on I never knew that I mean usually on a
00:44:17
Monday you'd see what's their funniest thing they did and they would show a clip and it gets out there on Yahoo News
00:44:23
or whatever and now suddenly it's everything in my I can see for sure every sketch even update it's like boom
00:44:30
as they're coming out boom boom yeah it's amazing I don't know if this is true but I think area on a grande it was
00:44:38
like the show and then 350 million across all platforms you know Tik Tock
00:44:45
everything so that it matriculates I still people just watch the first
00:44:50
episode you know texting me yeah hey I saw that you know um so anyway so I meet
00:44:56
we meet meet you're coming in 8h for the first time the read throughs are now in
00:45:01
8 they used to be in a little room upstairs basically and it's set up with 40 people there's tablecloths there's
00:45:08
cars like a Oscar party there's piano there's music and it's kind of I was a
00:45:13
little nervous I was coming in doing Biden for the first time we that was the read through we were at and you were
00:45:19
reading and so how did that feel because that's the first time you kind of kind of hang it all out you know Here Comes
00:45:26
Here Comes Jim's you know it's very unnerving and there is a sense that this can
00:45:34
change uh in a moment's notice where uh you know Lauren could be like I didn't
00:45:40
really like that you know I mean and and that's not to say that he's uh attaching
00:45:46
an opinion to it it's just the reality so there was something of like you know
00:45:51
I canceled all these standup dates I hope they don't change their mind oh yeah that's right but yeah it
00:45:59
was well they can tweak right you know you you take your take on it it's like a movie and then they get with the
00:46:06
directors or people around or the writers and they say could you I mean I'm I'm just guessing I don't know what happened but sometimes they will play
00:46:12
with it a little bit until everyone agrees this is this is the right feel yeah I I was surprised at um the amount
00:46:23
probably because there's just so much happening so so so quickly there
00:46:29
particularly and the cold open feels separate from the show in some ways that
00:46:35
I feel like Dana and I were like what because you know these head writers I you know are juggling so many things and
00:46:43
the last thing you want to do is be a pest yeah and so it also doesn't serve
00:46:49
your needs to be kind of like what about this every two seconds so there's Dana
00:46:55
and I are like are we crazy e about you know like if you do catch someone's ear
00:47:00
you want to be very precise with an idea you have you don't want to just be
00:47:07
jawing their ear off because you know also they've been they haven't slept for three days so it's yeah you pick your
00:47:13
fights you go I can I just change this line you you have to have like a plan like can I just this is my most
00:47:18
important thing instead of going it feels a little wonky they're like it'll be great out there and then you're like
00:47:24
oh [ __ ] I didn't really specify what yeah what I needed I think they've been pretty good all in all but I know what
00:47:30
you mean there's a lot of different inputs into that cold opening and the political environment it's moving in
00:47:36
real time but I think for someone like Jim a standup you know he just knows
00:47:41
that there's a rhythm in a musicality to the way you land to laugh and as wals so
00:47:47
I kind of encouraged you just to say take it or leave it leave it we always we don't try to push like put this in
00:47:53
but sort of suggest it and a lot of times they're like glad like oh great now one less joke we don't we don't have
00:48:00
to fix it yeah so it is kind of nice but so I watch you throughout the week get
00:48:06
more and more confidence because then we go down we're on our feet we're kind of walking through it and you know you're
00:48:12
kind of feeling a little better or how were you like it's you know it's also uh yeah
00:48:20
it's it's strange but it's there's also nothing more fun than trying a new joke
00:48:29
right so there's nothing more rewarding but it is it is very strange and it's also um
00:48:39
but you're also you know you're inserted into this Allstar lineup right with with
00:48:45
Dana and and and Maya and and Andy and so there
00:48:52
is it yeah no it's it's it's fascina it's just
00:48:57
it's just so weird how there's it reminds me because there's been
00:49:02
different times when I've been hired for different acting jobs and you have a
00:49:08
couple lines for me I'm such an obsessive person that whether I have two lines or whether I have like 10 pages
00:49:17
all that will take up all my time I don't know about you it's like sure just
00:49:22
want to get it right I think I have never seen you in all these these five weeks not holding the script yeah and
00:49:30
whereas like I I think Andy samber I don't think he even looked at a script he was so's he's good at it yeah he
00:49:37
knows what he's doing just the cards right which and I think after the first week I was like I do have to read the
00:49:43
cards but you know also as a funny person you you know it's much more
00:49:48
important to get the the sentiment of the joke or the point of view of the joke than the exact wording but yeah
00:49:56
it's so different CU it's also as we all know as standups you go up there by
00:50:02
yourself you're the writer director and editor so if you're like not feeling it you could just be like I don't want to
00:50:07
do that right now and you move on but when you're uh particularly in such a uh
00:50:14
you have like 80 eyes on you on this one like yeah you know what's he doing and then you want to be you know obviously
00:50:20
you want to be respectful to the other performers and to the writers and uh and
00:50:26
you know I think when you know it's like different if you have your own TV show you can sit there and go no I'm going to
00:50:32
say this whereas you want to be respectful of everyone here it was interesting on the cold opening the
00:50:38
first show where we were
00:50:44
obenson who's going to play who on this thing and then it was very gratifying to
00:50:50
watch you know when you came out just with that kind of energy and doing the
00:50:56
prayer hands and this and then they they would for Andy too they would kind of like uh uh it's Jim Gaff again and then
00:51:03
it would just really and I was sitting back on the couch going well that's kind of satisfying they're like we're so
00:51:09
happy it's you doing wals it's a great you know so F yeah so [ __ ] so uh yeah
00:51:16
such a a really kind of rewarding uh experience it's bizarre and the one with
00:51:24
you and B and u side by side that had that that came together on air that had
00:51:30
some great moments that was a killer section in there yeah and I love I love
00:51:36
the the the the last I actually love the last minute aspect of it because it
00:51:42
reminds me of like when you're about to go on stage doing standup and you have
00:51:48
an idea or you're on the subway and you have an idea that that adjusts a joke
00:51:53
that you've been working on for like an extended period and it's that adjustment that really helps because I was just
00:52:01
always watching Tim Wall's videos and I would see him do a behavior and then I'd
00:52:08
be like all right I'll bring that in because again there's so many moving Parts it wasn't like um people were like
00:52:16
Tim Walls does this can you add it it was it was left up to me you know which
00:52:22
I know surprising you know what everyone's so good that uh as an side are watching you know I would say give
00:52:28
it to gaffi and give it to Maya give it to Dana and then they're going to get it 98% there because they're such
00:52:34
perfectionists in their own comedy that it there's it's kind of nice that you
00:52:39
can hand it over and you know it's going to be pretty much what it's going to be and they have so much on their mind I
00:52:45
think it's great that you're working on it because you want to just every time they see you it's a tiny bit better and
00:52:51
they're like oh he's been paying attention cuz we have other 22 sketches and all the other Millions things going
00:52:57
on yeah and then if Cala comes uh they have to say oh now it's
00:53:02
more security more hassle more confusion I guess wasn't it I mean I'm
00:53:07
guessing my gosh yeah speak to that just that whole evening it's you know there's
00:53:14
times when I don't know I don't have a machine gun I don't have an AR but to
00:53:21
walk down the hallway and there's like six guys with machine guns you're like I
00:53:26
don't know if we need six you know I thought it was more like 12 or
00:53:32
somethings I know it's like I'm just I'm a pragmatist I'm like I'm not a gun guy
00:53:38
but I think a handgun would be more practical here than you don't want to
00:53:43
catch catch some they seem to be six foot five they had helmets they had Flack jackets big boots and then night
00:53:51
vision goggles to night vision goggles and then this assault rifle or machine gun or what whatever it was and you know
00:53:57
I'm dressed as a tomato like hi fellas you know like I never felt more feminine they
00:54:05
have those goggles because they they saw in the itinerary it's Saturday Night Live they're like bring the night
00:54:12
vision it's also you know and I don't know because they were all very nice very professional very professional
00:54:18
absolutely but you could also get a sense a little bit they're like oh my gosh we're at
00:54:23
SNL you talk to him like London s are you allowed to talk to them yeah I mean they were they were but
00:54:32
like when she came down the hallway I I I had to leave and then Dana you got to hang out with her right yeah I mean well
00:54:39
first of all when I was walking down the middle of those guys dressed as Biden I just instinctually did a little
00:54:45
salute like I was a commanderin-chief so it was all very uh just when is she
00:54:51
coming how is she coming everyone was waiting longer the whole and we needed
00:54:56
to fit in a time for her to rehearse with Maya just so we're waiting to do
00:55:02
the notes we're in ADH it there's a tension and a sensitivity going on a quietness it was like an exotic tiger
00:55:09
was coming when is KLA coming you know and she comes in and she turns and she
00:55:14
gets a huge smile on her face looks all around ADH and go oh my mother could see
00:55:19
me now and then kind of under her breath she goes of course she's seeing me now I thought it was very sweet oh W yeah
00:55:27
and so if we want to jump ahead afterwards I was going down the hall she'd done the cold opening and um it
00:55:34
was a very whatever your political thing is it's it was a very human moment the
00:55:39
way the audience the emotion of the audience for her in that studio for about two minutes uh couldn't help but
00:55:47
you know kind of well you up I mean it just was sort of emotional and then she's down in the uh Maya's dressing
00:55:53
room her people go oh take a picture uh because I was still dressed as Biden and
00:55:59
then I came in and she kind of went hey and so I had about a minute face to face with her and I just did all my Biden
00:56:04
hooks no I'm not kidding I'm being serious she laughed so hard she was bent over laughing so that was kind of a
00:56:12
interesting so you know I guess she she sees all of this from a different point
00:56:18
of view you know but it was kind of seemed cathartic or something I don't know people seem to like it no it w I
00:56:24
thought was really interesting because when they did the the very brief rehearsal and it was a long dress so it
00:56:31
was it it was not like there was an abundance of time for any of this oh was
00:56:37
it between dress and air her rehearsal yeah yeah oh that late was close to 11 o'clock or
00:56:44
something and then they did the meeting after that and oh God dang what when
00:56:51
they did the the and they didn't even rehearse the whole scene they just rehearsed her and M
00:56:57
and uh by the way Dana if I'm saying anything I'm not supposed to say you guys have to cut this out oh we have
00:57:03
editing capability by the way so you can say anything yeah what I thought was
00:57:08
really interesting and this is just me being paranoid is that Maya has such a
00:57:15
presence and uh you know you know uh
00:57:21
blood of ice and I mean that as a compliment is that and I was like oh my
00:57:27
gosh what if you know Maya's been doing this in this room for years right and then this
00:57:36
person who's been on the campaign Trail who you know having come in five weeks
00:57:41
earlier and was intimidated by the setting by the live setting even though I'm a standup comedian and a great actor
00:57:49
but but when when I was like is kamla going to when they do that mirror
00:57:57
thing is the status of Maya going to kind of be a disservice to kamla I don't
00:58:05
think it was but it entered my mind like you mean a super pro yes whereas just you know Maya just
00:58:15
is so you know such a home run hitter and just like never strikes out that is the
00:58:24
the ju position is that going to end up being a disservice to Kamala and it
00:58:31
didn't end up being that way it actually I think that it really kind of I think
00:58:37
that kamla appeared very warm and very like I think it was a a really important
00:58:44
humanizing moment here let me tell you what Lauren also wanted me to say no
00:58:50
um but uh no but it was it was one of those things where I was like oh wow she
00:58:55
really she really headed out of the par I think H you know it was H held up her
00:59:02
side because she's not an actress and she's coming in like on the Fly there's really almost no rehearsal and so it is
00:59:09
[ __ ] scary as [ __ ] even if like you said we've all done it if I was sitting there I'd be freaking out and your hand
00:59:15
could shake you don't know you're just like yeah it's almost too much and especially if you've never I mean she's
00:59:20
giving speeches but it's a different animal I think let's be honest you guys what's more difficult
00:59:26
being on SNL or being president you know what I mean it's SNL it's just different absolutely we we just want the audience
00:59:34
to know what how hard but you know I think that you're talking yourself in the
00:59:39
mirror was the conceit and it's been done a lot but it was very uh maternal
00:59:44
in a sense and in the end Poma Kamala give me your hand and it was written not in way it was kind of slow and casual
00:59:52
and relax and the way Maya was so supernaturally comfortable they gave
00:59:58
her good jokes I mean those it was not too long in my opinion cuz I didn't know anything about it you know I didn't ask
01:00:03
Dana for any spoilers and I thought the pomelo was the first big I was like oh that's great and then they did a few
01:00:10
plays on Words yeah and then they sort of ended it and it was like oh good it's not dragging out forever it's not you
01:00:17
know classically like oh they went too long it's like oh great tight get to say
01:00:22
live New York big ending get out MH yeah yeah M and uh surprisingly it was it was
01:00:29
just a very friendly audience it was it was who would think who would think but
01:00:36
it was uh it was a you know I I've said this to when I went to do the George
01:00:42
Bush Senior White House that I was sitting with Neil Young at the party uh telling him that and um he just
01:00:51
said to me he didn't even was in an apolitical things he goes oh that's a human thing
01:00:56
man that's a human thing so it was like whatever your political stripe is it was
01:01:01
this woman who's been now was running for president in this room being kind of a struck in some ways and then having
01:01:08
that sort of reaction uh it's just like you're it was it was hallowed grounds for a moment it
01:01:14
was like the only SNL can capture these kinds of moments because everybody knows it's
01:01:20
live yeah I mean it's particularly in this year where I think the most
01:01:26
important media piece was not these traditional media things but I think her
01:01:33
appearance on SNL was significant you know what I mean like compared to like
01:01:39
the some of the media hits that historically would like I don't think
01:01:44
they would even contemplate having her appear on you know aom yeah anyone who
01:01:52
sits there and the part where she asked Maya do I laugh like that she says a bit
01:01:57
you know anytime a human being can laugh at themselves a little bit the liability
01:02:03
quotient or the relatability quotient goes up so yes it was a a home run as
01:02:08
they say but yeah did will people vote differently because of us I mean you and
01:02:13
me in particular or did we reorientate Western Society absolutely not absolutely not it says here in my
01:02:22
calendar reorientate Western Society uh but uh everything it's kind of nice when
01:02:29
the reviews I casually I don't possess on them but now you can not I think it was New York Times or something you
01:02:34
can't imagine anyone else playing wals after seeing Jim Gaff was one of the ones I read you know yeah that's very
01:02:41
nice well thank you Jim for talking to us and uh I'm not leaving I'm here for
01:02:46
another hour we're gonna do three hours David is that all right yeah it's fine with me you have a
01:02:53
problem you're like then I couldn't get rid of Gaff I'm still a hostage he smokes
01:03:01
cigarettes now and he's so comfortable and young cast will come up to him go Mr Gaff Mr gaffan could you help me with
01:03:07
this he goes get out my face kid I got better better stuff I call everyone kid yeah by the way I just want you guys to
01:03:14
know you don't have to plug my Hulu special which is the skinny which is on November
01:03:19
22nd you have a standup special on Hulu yeah and it's called
01:03:26
and when is it Prem the skinny now this special recently Jim we're trying to get
01:03:32
rid of you so if you could just wrap it up and no get your get this in a Hulu
01:03:38
special is it November 22nd is that you said yes is that am I reading this right
01:03:44
am I reading this right all these streaming sites your word's not mine how
01:03:49
do you pick between Netflix Amazon and what's it called
01:03:55
is that a real one John you know he went to Harvard too I know no he he's a he's
01:04:01
a TV character he's like Columbo or something I mean I want to do him on the show I'll just say we've been doing
01:04:07
Brilliance to his kind of oh the fumbling paper I read something here
01:04:12
could I get this again am I saying that right am I saying you tweeted on October
01:04:18
7th that you would kill all simp folk that studied at the John F Kenedy School
01:04:24
of Public Relation no he's clearly very bright but a
01:04:29
stero I see you squirming in your chair a little bit but this is he knows he's set the trap for the
01:04:36
guest it's so funny he has a little smile he talks like he's in the movie
01:04:43
Mississippi bur jum
01:04:49
in here vote is a failure to communicate now do you think how much you think it
01:04:56
would cost to end climate change but what about I don't know well1
01:05:03
trillion the uh who's the the congresswoman from California who has charts let me ask you this if you had
01:05:11
425 Katie her name Katie she's like she has her whiteboard she's BR so funny I
01:05:17
love the I love no matter what's going on it's fun to watch I don't know what's going on I just laugh Paul with fouchy
01:05:24
hysterical you and fact killed millions of people are you prepared to
01:05:29
Apologize by the way it was I know David wants to get rid of me but it was I thought Tim Kane was great I got to hang
01:05:36
out with Tim Kane afterwards I promise you I thought it was Tim Waltz when he came out that's
01:05:42
how dumb I am I go like this well I did I did a photo with Tim Kane and we
01:05:48
looked the same by the way it's a bit of a deep dig because to your casual viewer you're
01:05:54
like there's some 24 year old kid going oh that really is what's his name Kim
01:06:00
Kane Kim Kane vice presidential Nom I ran into game show one very funny
01:06:09
game show was a great sketch smart monkey was very funny Dan booula of course very funny yeah monkey in space
01:06:16
yeah that's some great stuff in there John mainy great J like I don't get to watch the whole show I'm really lasered
01:06:22
in I'm already drinking bourbon after that yeah you got your bourbon on the Rocks though on the Rocks do you
01:06:30
remember the name of your bourbon Father Time B time you're right do you remember at the party when I saw your
01:06:36
cheeseburger and I said I got to get something to eat and didn't I offer you half of it
01:06:42
well it it was like a petite it was a slider it was the size of a silver
01:06:48
dollar cast members with sliders that's the big story I did get the pasta but
01:06:55
guess what but in this first world problem around 400 a.m. the waiter comes up oh sorry the kitchen is closed oh no
01:07:03
yeah Den Dana's ven moing Jim 25 cents for pickles here I think that I think
01:07:10
that was my last episode because I was only contracted for that time but oh no
01:07:15
and those parties are amazing but I'm so wrecked the next day it's not like I'm
01:07:21
dring so much it's just staying up till 500 a.m. 5 a.m. when I turn the light
01:07:26
out you know because it's just a lot of uh your peers and friends you want to
01:07:32
you want to say hello to Marty Short or John Stewart or so fun yeah but it it
01:07:39
I'm still tired from staying up that Lake yeah little bit oh you get home when everyone's
01:07:46
jogging and you guys are driving home in your limo these are just the this is just the
01:07:52
behavior of someone with a severe drinking problem home at 5 a.m. Jim do you think you'll still go to
01:07:59
the parties if you're not on the show just every week it's I I think I would it would be too weird I mean
01:08:06
I'm I I feel out of place even when I'm on the show being there so I no I won't
01:08:13
go have you secured an invite to the 50th an not I think happen wait minut so
01:08:20
have you guys been invited it's complicated um I'm going to
01:08:26
talk to geretz um you have to make a video I told
01:08:33
Lauren that you have made uh YouTube videos in a hotel room about how you would be at the 50th so you're gonna
01:08:40
have I'd like to see one of those videos here I am at the 50th being nice to everybody and here I am introducing
01:08:48
Coldplay no that would be I've got a sneaky feeling that we're not done with Mr let's do we
01:08:56
sliders you know here's what I one thing that I would add even though David's trying to get rid of me I was there was
01:09:05
Dana weren you secretly hoping like I was like oh hopefully Tim uh Tim WS will
01:09:11
do something like um oh yeah his pants fall down something get some news I
01:09:17
don't want him to humiliate himself he'll you know be uh in some but there's
01:09:24
competing for attention and even when he you know like I think in a different time like him even
01:09:31
playing fortnite with AOC that would be newsworthy but we live in such chaotic
01:09:37
all right that would have been a good one who would play AOC who plays AOC on the show Heidi I think Dana would Dana
01:09:44
would Dana I got Dana ripping off characters and kasm that's mine now
01:09:50
thank you that's the you don't wanna like want
01:09:56
to do other things want to take a job from someone yeah it feels weird because
01:10:02
no one there at least looks exactly like Tim Waltz if you walked by a cast looks just like him you go he goes hey how you
01:10:07
doing man no to me Tim walz has been not around that much and I just saw a speech
01:10:14
or two or whatever so I couldn't I when I see you I see it's Tim wals you know
01:10:22
yeah I mean no one knows that OS syncratic speech things he has I mean you have the prayer hands and pounding
01:10:28
the heart and then some of those do the ear thing because he he does the ear thing and Lauren was like get rid of the
01:10:34
ear thing you're doing no too much oh to Carol Bernett she would go like this or
01:10:41
you know Lily Tomlin used to go one ringy dingy two ringy do you want a big chair like ly Tomlin too come on what
01:10:48
what are we doing here you could play Tim W as a 5-year-old put a hairpiece on you
01:10:55
um no you'll be back and I will Lobby it doesn't matter I think you I think you should host the audience clearly loves
01:11:02
you and you're you're kind of iconic at some point to host at some point right I
01:11:08
mean and you're mostly white I'm you know I'm I'm mixed you're
01:11:15
120% white I'm mixed I'm Irish and Scottish
01:11:21
whoops all right all right you're going to say goodbye cuz I cannot say it so just been sitting here cuz I'm they told
01:11:27
me our manager said you get him off that [ __ ] thing at 30 minutes or we'll go dark and I'm like we'll pull the plug
01:11:33
I'm like oh my God this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced
01:11:40
by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it
01:11:49
[Music]
