00:00:00
you got leukemia. And I had no idea what
00:00:02
leukemia was. I mean, even the word
00:00:03
sounds confusing. What I did see was my
00:00:06
mom just break down in tears. And that
00:00:07
just tore me apart. I'm like, what the
00:00:10
heck's happening? It was extremely
00:00:12
difficult to try and navigate that time
00:00:14
by myself. And as my dad's saying,
00:00:16
you're not using all your strength
00:00:18
unless you're asking for help. And I
00:00:19
needed to ask for help, but I didn't
00:00:20
know how. I had no perspective at that
00:00:23
time. I didn't no tools. And then I
00:00:24
thought, [ __ ] my mind's out of control.
00:00:26
My body's out of control. What can
00:00:27
control I do? what control can I take?
00:00:29
And that was to take my life. Like
00:00:31
really considering taking my life. So I
00:00:32
walked to the balcony and I was there. I
00:00:34
was like, this is it. You know,
00:00:35
everything's out. You don't know what to
00:00:36
do. And I stepped up and I felt the wind
00:00:38
hit the side of my face, the right hand.
00:00:40
I I remember it vividly and I turned
00:00:42
around and I saw my mom's cup of tea
00:00:43
there and just hit me hard. Hit me hard.
00:00:45
I couldn't put the pain I was feeling on
00:00:46
my mom. I couldn't put that on her.