00:00:06
Mitch Wilson, welcome to my podcast.
00:00:08
>> How's it going, mate?
00:00:09
>> Good, mate. We finally got together.
00:00:11
>> I know. Thank you. Um, yeah, thanks for
00:00:13
replying to the email and uh allowing me
00:00:16
to come on here.
00:00:17
>> Thanks for reaching out. So, you're
00:00:19
you're legally blind. You've got 5%
00:00:21
vision.
00:00:22
>> Yeah, pretty much. Um, in my right eye,
00:00:24
I've got centrally about 5% or maybe
00:00:27
slightly less. Um, luckily I've got some
00:00:30
peripherals, but my left eye is totally
00:00:32
blind. And yeah, my right eye is uh the
00:00:35
peripherals don't really do too much in
00:00:38
terms of detail, but they allow me to
00:00:40
look mostly normal. So,
00:00:43
>> yeah, it's a it's a hell of a backstory.
00:00:45
Um, started when you were 17 when things
00:00:48
started turning to [ __ ] Uh, so we'll
00:00:50
unpack all of that, but yeah. So, what
00:00:52
can you see? So, you pulled up in the
00:00:54
RAV 4 just before um your partner
00:00:57
driving, you hopped out. I don't know. I
00:01:00
suppose I was expecting a dog or a cane.
00:01:03
>> Yeah. Well, um I do qualify for a guide
00:01:06
dog, but uh that actually a new thing,
00:01:09
but uh with my eyesight, I do actually
00:01:12
qualify for a complete guide dog, but I
00:01:14
don't need that. Um so many people need
00:01:17
that more than me, so I've never gone
00:01:19
down that route. Um, but recently I
00:01:21
found out that they uh do like low
00:01:24
vision dogs now. Um, so they don't
00:01:26
actually guide you as such, but they
00:01:28
still help, which I may look into. So,
00:01:31
>> um, yeah, it'll be pretty cool. It's h
00:01:34
good having a dog in public, but we'll
00:01:35
see what happens. I haven't applied yet.
00:01:37
So,
00:01:38
>> so you can see nothing out of your left
00:01:39
eye?
00:01:40
>> Yeah, it's totally black.
00:01:41
>> Right. And out of your right eye?
00:01:42
>> Uh, my right eye, yeah, sorry. I was,
00:01:44
uh, centrally is about the size of a
00:01:46
straw. So, what are we now? about a
00:01:49
meter and a half, 2 meters away from
00:01:50
each other.
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>> I can see your left eye socket and can't
00:01:54
see your face, but then I can see from
00:01:56
your shoulders down and I can see all
00:01:57
the table and all that sort of stuff.
00:01:59
So, um yeah, luckily my central dot,
00:02:02
although small is still perfectly clear
00:02:04
and my peripherals are just sort of uh
00:02:09
big vague sort of things. So, I can
00:02:10
still see most stuff, but like if I
00:02:12
looked at you out of my peripherals, I
00:02:13
can't tell it's you.
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>> So, yeah. So, you're able to use your
00:02:17
phone. You're able to What about TV?
00:02:20
Watching TV and things.
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>> Um, yeah, I can still use my phone, can
00:02:24
still read. Um, I should probably
00:02:26
proofread a bit more, but I tend not to.
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Um, but watching TV is, yeah, not too
00:02:32
bad. I just see sort of people's faces.
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Um, can just scour around the screen and
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still make out what's happening most of
00:02:38
the time. So,
00:02:40
>> yeah.
00:02:41
>> And is it is it going to get better or
00:02:43
worse or?
00:02:44
>> Uh, no. uh it just is what it is now. Um
00:02:47
so luckily I still have some eyesight
00:02:50
left.
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>> Uh I wasn't supposed to really but they
00:02:53
didn't know where it was going to stop.
00:02:54
So
00:02:55
>> it was kind of a gradual process which
00:02:59
was pretty terrifying but
00:03:01
>> especially at that age.
00:03:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And it's um
00:03:06
uh very long story but the eyesight was
00:03:11
uh what they said was they sort of just
00:03:13
didn't know. So for the my my time frame
00:03:17
is probably off, but for the couple of
00:03:18
months that I thought it was
00:03:19
deteriorating at the end, um
00:03:23
it probably stopped where it is a bit
00:03:26
sooner than I thought and I still
00:03:28
thought it was getting worse. So I sort
00:03:30
of didn't want to go to sleep. Couldn't
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couldn't go to bed cuz I thought I'd
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wake up and like wouldn't be able to see
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anything.
00:03:36
um every night was walking around the
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house looking at, you know, family
00:03:40
photos, photos of myself, all that sort
00:03:42
of stuff, going, "Shit, is this the this
00:03:44
the last time I'm going to see it?" Um,
00:03:46
but then, yeah, just sort of stopped
00:03:48
where it did and luckily left me with
00:03:51
some. So, I still make do most of the
00:03:54
time. So,
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>> yeah,
00:03:56
>> it's a terrifying way to um to go to
00:03:58
sleep or or to live your life. Um, but
00:04:01
I'd imagine even more so at that age,
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like 17. Yeah. Well, I was we were I was
00:04:07
19 when we found the tumor.
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>> Okay.
00:04:09
>> Um
00:04:10
>> 17 when it started and
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>> Yeah, it's when I started getting unwell
00:04:12
and then it was uh a long time although
00:04:15
only a year and a half or so in between.
00:04:18
>> Um it was a pretty [ __ ] year and a half.
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>> Yeah.
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>> Uh so,
00:04:24
excuse me. Sorry.
00:04:26
Um yeah, I started getting sick and was
00:04:30
going to doctors and all that sort of
00:04:31
stuff. And my GP was awesome. M
00:04:34
>> um he'd been my doctor my whole life
00:04:36
basically. Um
00:04:38
>> but yeah, he sent me to the specialists
00:04:42
and all that and got turned away. Um
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>> specifically I ended up going to a
00:04:48
neurologist in February of 2011. Um I
00:04:52
won't say his name, but uh that was only
00:04:55
about a month and a bit after the like
00:04:58
dizziness and stuff started. So in 20
00:05:03
Oh [ __ ] What was the year? In 2010 when
00:05:06
I was 17, I started getting quite rund
00:05:07
down and quite sick. Was first year out
00:05:09
of school being a bit of an idiot
00:05:12
teenager I suppose. Uh you know,
00:05:15
drinking too much and doing stupid
00:05:16
stuff. Um was getting quite rund down
00:05:19
and that's when all the sort of health
00:05:22
stuff started. But then the start of
00:05:24
2011, I started getting severely dizzy.
00:05:27
>> And for some reason, I just thought,
00:05:30
ironically, it's like it was in my head,
00:05:33
ironically. But um I I just thought I
00:05:37
had a brain tumor just because of the
00:05:39
severity of the dizziness and all that
00:05:41
sort of stuff. And
00:05:44
um yeah, I couldn't lie down cuz it felt
00:05:48
like my head just kept going backwards
00:05:50
through the pillow. um couldn't look up,
00:05:53
couldn't just turn around cuz I just
00:05:55
completely feel like I'm falling over.
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Um yeah, so the my doctor sent me to the
00:06:01
private neurologist which I requested
00:06:03
and the private neurologist completely
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poo pooed me basically and just said go
00:06:08
away. Um
00:06:10
said that it was benign peroximal
00:06:13
positional vertigo which
00:06:17
is from my understanding quite uncommon
00:06:19
in such a young age. M
00:06:21
>> um but if you looked at my list of
00:06:24
symptoms from a professional standpoint,
00:06:27
which I've been told since and all that
00:06:28
sort of stuff with my list of list of
00:06:31
symptoms, the reason h sorry the fact
00:06:33
that I wasn't given a scan is crazy.
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>> So I actually requested a scan as well
00:06:40
and you know it was a private system. So
00:06:42
I said I'm willing to pay, happy to pay.
00:06:43
I just want to make sure it's not that.
00:06:46
Um but yeah, I was turned away and
00:06:49
that's why it was uh subsequently
00:06:51
medical misadventure or neglect. So
00:06:54
>> how do you let go of that rage? Have you
00:06:56
let go of that rage?
00:06:57
>> H I mean, yeah, it is what it is now. Uh
00:06:59
if you spoke to me in 2012, it certainly
00:07:01
was a different story.
00:07:02
>> Yeah. How long did it take you to get
00:07:03
over it?
00:07:04
>> Um
00:07:04
>> I'd be [ __ ] off. Anyone anyone
00:07:06
listening to this or watching this' be
00:07:08
[ __ ] off and you'd have a right to
00:07:10
>> I mean it's not going to get you
00:07:11
anywhere. It's not not going to allow
00:07:13
you to get on with your life, but I
00:07:14
could I could see why you'd still be
00:07:16
pissed about it.
00:07:17
>> Yeah, it's I mean, yeah, there's more to
00:07:18
the story which we'll get into with
00:07:20
that, but I mean, when I was in
00:07:21
hospital, um it's probably I don't know.
00:07:24
I don't know what the the go might be,
00:07:26
but it's probably lucky I didn't get
00:07:27
arrested with some of the [ __ ] that I
00:07:29
was saying. Um you know,
00:07:31
>> you want to kill the guy at that point.
00:07:32
>> Oh, yeah. [ __ ] [ __ ] Um especially, you
00:07:35
know,
00:07:37
like the the the the medical neglect is
00:07:40
the only reason I'm blind.
00:07:42
>> Um so my eyesight was avoidable. Uh the
00:07:45
tumor was there. That's what it is. But
00:07:47
if they caught it in February of 2011,
00:07:50
my eyesight would have been fine.
00:07:52
>> So the only reason my eyesight was
00:07:54
damaged is because uh because I was the
00:07:58
the tumor was missed by the neglect.
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Yeah,
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>> it was allowed to be there for another
00:08:02
14 months before we found it. And in
00:08:04
that time, the uh intraraanial pressure
00:08:06
got really high. So
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>> prolonged elevated intraraanial pressure
00:08:10
is what caused the optic nerve atrophy.
00:08:13
So yeah.
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>> So um you messaged me about coming on
00:08:18
the podcast.
00:08:19
What do you want people to feel when
00:08:20
they hear your story?
00:08:22
>> Um I kind of want
00:08:25
Oh, I mean
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h how do you say it? I kind of I don't
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know how the hell it would come to
00:08:32
fruition, but I'd like to enact change.
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Um
00:08:36
want people to know that they should if
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they don't get the answer they want from
00:08:40
their doctor, they should be arguing it.
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>> Um the doctors obviously do a bloody
00:08:45
good job. They've got a a hard job,
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highly qualified, but at the same time,
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they can be lazy as hell. So,
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>> well, in in any line of work, in the
00:08:54
medical profession is no difference.
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There's there's people that are really
00:08:57
good at their jobs and people that are
00:08:58
[ __ ] There's people that are good at
00:08:59
their jobs that have [ __ ] days.
00:09:01
>> Exactly. That's That's the thing.
00:09:02
>> That's human error.
00:09:04
>> That's the thing. And it's just um the
00:09:07
the only difference would be when you're
00:09:09
in the position of say the neurologist
00:09:11
or any other medical professional,
00:09:12
people's lives are in the balance,
00:09:15
right? Um
00:09:17
>> so they shouldn't I like everyone makes
00:09:19
mistakes, but there's a difference
00:09:21
between a mistake and a choice.
00:09:22
>> Yeah. Um, so with the neurologist
00:09:26
in my case, he just didn't want to fill
00:09:28
out paperwork
00:09:29
>> pretty much cuz when I ended up in
00:09:31
hospital in April, uh, 2012, I was
00:09:35
obviously, you know, I seen this guy did
00:09:38
there, you know, like going off and they
00:09:39
were like, why did he not give you a
00:09:41
scan?
00:09:42
>> Cuz of the symptoms I turned up with,
00:09:44
um, they said in the public system,
00:09:48
99% chance I would have got a scan. So
00:09:51
uh just because the symptoms
00:09:53
>> said that it should have been treated
00:09:55
that way. Yeah. So
00:09:57
>> you know is what it is but yeah it's
00:10:00
just the the unfortunate thing is that
00:10:03
like you hear of so many cases
00:10:07
>> and you know you get into the other side
00:10:09
of things of ACC and all that sort of
00:10:11
crap too and it is not easy.
00:10:13
>> I I suppose for for your own um your
00:10:15
mental health and sanity you you you
00:10:17
just need to move on don't you? You
00:10:20
can't just you can't dwell on it. It's
00:10:21
just not healthy for you.
00:10:22
>> Yeah, pretty much. It is like it just is
00:10:25
what it is. [ __ ] happens. Carry on. You
00:10:27
can still talk about it, but
00:10:28
>> can't change it.
00:10:29
>> No, you can't change what happens. It's
00:10:31
um all you can control is your response,
00:10:34
I suppose.
00:10:35
>> So, who was Mitch Wilson before he got
00:10:37
unwell?
00:10:38
>> Um through college a bit of a bit of a
00:10:41
[ __ ] but
00:10:42
>> everyone is.
00:10:43
>> Yeah. Yeah. Just the old growing up, eh?
00:10:45
It's a bit of a bit of a niggly time for
00:10:48
a lot of people. Um
00:10:50
>> yeah, I don't know. Uh when I was a
00:10:52
young kid, I was very sporty. It's uh
00:10:56
you know, many kids like it, but kids
00:10:58
are kids, right? You can't sort of blame
00:10:59
them for being a little arrogant,
00:11:01
>> cocky, little bugger, you know.
00:11:03
>> But I was kind of I was kind of like
00:11:05
that. Um but for me, sports was
00:11:06
everything when I was a kid. And I was
00:11:08
very determined to be the winner of
00:11:12
whatever I entered. So, um, came to
00:11:14
fruition most times when I was a kid,
00:11:16
but then you sort of get to college and
00:11:18
everyone starts growing and I didn't
00:11:21
and, uh, you know, you start getting
00:11:23
smashed on the rugby field cuz you're
00:11:25
half the size of everyone and, um, yeah,
00:11:28
definitely, I suppose, bumped the
00:11:29
confidence a bit in terms of just, I
00:11:32
suppose, personal growth and all that
00:11:33
sort of stuff. But, uh,
00:11:35
>> you know, that's everyone goes through
00:11:37
that sort of stuff, don't they? So,
00:11:38
>> what what were your plans or passions?
00:11:41
Um, to be honest, I was pretty lost. E,
00:11:44
um, I didn't really know. I was just
00:11:45
enjoying life and being a kid and, you
00:11:48
know, spend a lot of time doing, you
00:11:50
know, I'm on my bike freaking making
00:11:51
jumps with my mates and doing stuff that
00:11:55
got us hurt falling off and motocross
00:11:57
and stuff like that. Um,
00:12:00
>> yeah, just I was just having fun, man.
00:12:02
Um, but the the one goal I always had
00:12:05
was to be a cop. I always wanted to be a
00:12:07
dog handler in the police. So that was
00:12:11
sort of taken away from me because you
00:12:12
can't do that when you're blind. So
00:12:14
>> yeah.
00:12:15
>> Um yeah, my granddad was a cop back in
00:12:18
the sort of 60s, 70s, whatever. Um so I
00:12:20
was just it's always what I what I
00:12:23
always wanted to do was was to be a
00:12:24
police officer. So
00:12:26
>> yeah.
00:12:27
>> So you start to get sick. What What does
00:12:29
that look like?
00:12:30
>> Um well for me I was I was actually
00:12:34
still playing rugby. So the last game of
00:12:36
rugby I played was like three weeks
00:12:38
before I went into hospital. Um so 2011
00:12:41
and couple first uh pre preseason games
00:12:44
of 2012 I was still playing um not
00:12:47
playing well but I was playing um you
00:12:52
know under 19s though. So we were just
00:12:53
there to drink beers basically.
00:12:55
>> Um but
00:12:57
uh yeah I was sort of through that time
00:12:59
because the dizziness started at the
00:13:01
start of 2011. Um,
00:13:05
it was kind I mean it affected me
00:13:08
everywhere. So even at work I couldn't
00:13:10
spin around too much or anything like
00:13:12
that cuz I'd just, you know, spin out
00:13:14
nearly fall over.
00:13:15
>> Did you think you were concussed or
00:13:16
something? What did you think it was?
00:13:18
>> No. Well, I mean, like I said, I thought
00:13:20
from the start, I just had this random
00:13:22
thought in the back of my mind that I
00:13:23
had a brain tumor. And ironically,
00:13:24
that's what tumor was was at the back of
00:13:26
my head.
00:13:27
Um but yeah, it was sort of within a
00:13:31
month or so of the dizziness starting, I
00:13:33
actually started vomiting as well. So
00:13:35
every morning I woke up, I was vomiting.
00:13:37
Um basically vomiting, nothing. It was
00:13:39
kind of just looked like saliva. Um but
00:13:42
it would be normally within 5 to 10
00:13:45
minutes of waking up and moving.
00:13:47
>> Sometimes it was a bit delayed. So I'd
00:13:49
get to work and half an hour, an hour
00:13:50
later I'd have to run to the toilet and
00:13:52
have a spew and then go back to work. um
00:13:55
which everyone I noticed but it was just
00:13:57
a joke back then so everyone was saying
00:13:58
I was pregnant and stuff you know so
00:14:01
morning sickness um but you know you
00:14:03
just sort of laugh it off and carry on
00:14:05
don't want to complain too much and
00:14:07
>> yeah just yeah that's what it was so for
00:14:10
the next yeah 14 15 months I was pretty
00:14:12
much spewing every day and um dizzy and
00:14:16
yeah headaches and all that sort of
00:14:17
stuff so
00:14:18
>> so you weren't at school at the time you
00:14:20
were working
00:14:20
>> yeah I was working yeah
00:14:21
>> okay you were you still living at home
00:14:23
or were you flatting
00:14:23
>> yeah no I was at home. Yeah. Um,
00:14:25
>> what did your parents say about it?
00:14:27
>> Um,
00:14:27
>> I I can't imagine how concerned her mom
00:14:30
would be about this.
00:14:31
>> Yeah, she was concerned. There was
00:14:33
probably a bit of skepticism as well,
00:14:35
cuz, you know, probably thinking I was a
00:14:37
drama queen or something like that, but
00:14:39
uh yeah, I mean, she realized the
00:14:42
severity of it, I guess. Um, but yeah,
00:14:45
she she took me to the appointments and
00:14:47
stuff like that. So, um, yeah, I mean,
00:14:51
she never, I suppose, never said I was
00:14:54
like lying or anything like that, so
00:14:56
she, yeah, she still supported me trying
00:14:59
to chase it up. But,
00:15:00
>> were you prone to being like a
00:15:01
hypochondric or something or
00:15:03
>> uh, not a hypochondric, but I guess I
00:15:05
um, yeah, growing up, I was a little bit
00:15:07
of a soft [ __ ] so
00:15:09
>> you know,
00:15:11
you can't you can't argue with that.
00:15:13
Like if you've got like um severe
00:15:14
migraines or you know you're vomiting
00:15:16
every morning like the body doesn't lie.
00:15:19
>> Yeah. Exactly. Um so yeah the the
00:15:21
dizziness was
00:15:24
quite severe like you'd see me I don't
00:15:26
know if my eyes rolled back or anything
00:15:27
like that but that's what it felt like.
00:15:29
Um but yeah the vomiting when that
00:15:31
started quite it was probably yeah
00:15:33
January 2011 that started and just
00:15:35
carried on. But um
00:15:37
>> yeah you couldn't ignore me throw it up
00:15:40
in the toilet straight away every
00:15:42
morning. So, uh, yeah, it just
00:15:46
weird to say it, but it just became
00:15:47
normal, so I just carried on. Um, yeah.
00:15:50
>> How long how long are you suffering like
00:15:51
this before you, um, seek your medical
00:15:54
intervention?
00:15:55
>> Um, so the,
00:15:57
like I said, at the end of 2010, I was
00:16:00
getting sort of run down and all that
00:16:01
sort of stuff, but none of the dizziness
00:16:02
or anything had started.
00:16:04
>> Uh, the very start of 2011, so January
00:16:06
2011, um, is when the dizziness and then
00:16:09
vomiting started and all that. And in
00:16:11
February 2011 is when I seen that
00:16:13
neurologist that ignored me. So um yeah,
00:16:16
>> it's getting worse. Not bad.
00:16:17
>> Yeah, it carried on getting worse the
00:16:19
whole time. 2011 throughout that whole
00:16:21
year because um uh because the
00:16:24
neurologist denied me any treatment or
00:16:27
uh scans and stuff and I was vomiting.
00:16:29
My GP is like, "Oh, we'll go to the next
00:16:31
port." And I got sent to the uh
00:16:33
gastrologist and got the camera down the
00:16:35
throat and there was obviously nothing
00:16:37
there. So, um, the doctor made some
00:16:41
[ __ ] claims on that one,
00:16:44
>> um, which had been removed from my file
00:16:45
as far as I know, but, um, yeah, there
00:16:48
was nothing in my stomach, so I just
00:16:49
carried on and just, um, yeah, just
00:16:52
carried on being a teenager and working
00:16:54
and playing rugby and going out with my
00:16:56
mates and stuff and yeah, still went to
00:16:59
R&B that year. Uh not not the best, but
00:17:02
uh
00:17:03
>> I think most people spew there a so it's
00:17:06
I kind of fit it in I guess but uh
00:17:09
>> yeah um yeah all of 2011 was like that
00:17:12
and 2012 was like that too but near the
00:17:16
end there uh sort of yeah January,
00:17:19
February, March 2012
00:17:22
um was when the headache started getting
00:17:24
really bad. M
00:17:25
>> I was waking up in the middle of the
00:17:26
night and I was in tears and uh the only
00:17:30
way I could describe it at the time was
00:17:32
it feels like I've been hit in the head
00:17:33
with an axe. Like I was just splitting
00:17:36
insane pains. Um yeah, so that was
00:17:41
coming to the end of that and it sort of
00:17:42
it worked out all right. Um I don't
00:17:45
condone this but uh the uh RNV um I
00:17:49
actually got an excess breath alcohol
00:17:51
fine. Uh I wasn't drink driving or
00:17:54
anything. It was in the morning. I drove
00:17:55
too early in the morning. Um although it
00:17:57
was still like 11:30 or something like
00:17:59
that. And because I was under 20, it was
00:18:01
zero tolerance. So I only blew a really
00:18:02
low number. Um but it put me over on
00:18:04
demerits. And it's probably the world
00:18:07
looking out for you in a funny way.
00:18:09
>> Um because I went over my demerits, I
00:18:13
had to hand my license in. But I was
00:18:14
driving tractors at this time. Um or
00:18:17
just starting to drive tractors. And uh
00:18:20
we were going to go and work in uh Ken
00:18:24
or just above Ken and do the sugarcane
00:18:26
harvest. Um that was in June or
00:18:29
something. We were going to go over
00:18:30
there in 2012. But to do that I needed
00:18:33
to hand my license in. So I did the 3
00:18:36
months. Um and after I handed it in in
00:18:40
March
00:18:41
is when my eyesight started playing up.
00:18:45
Um, so that was sort of the last sign
00:18:47
that something was I mean it was getting
00:18:50
worse. So, um, it's very lucky that I
00:18:53
handed my license in and stopped driving
00:18:55
when I did because I didn't notice my
00:18:57
eyesight was sort of diminishing at that
00:19:00
time.
00:19:00
>> How so?
00:19:01
>> Um, well, it sort of started as in my
00:19:04
left eye was just a black dot, a little
00:19:06
black dot. And I went to the doctors for
00:19:08
that and they were really good, my GP
00:19:12
and called the opthalmology place at
00:19:14
Wetto Hospital straight away when I was
00:19:17
actually in the room with them and
00:19:19
explained it and the opthromology place
00:19:21
said that it sounded like a floater
00:19:23
which is a very common thing and
00:19:26
basically just monitor it and if it gets
00:19:27
any bigger come or whatever. So, um, it
00:19:31
got a little bit bigger. So, it was it
00:19:33
was weird cuz my left eye started as a
00:19:35
pin dot and the pin dot was getting
00:19:36
bigger. My right eye, which just felt
00:19:40
funny, was like my central vision
00:19:41
closing in
00:19:43
>> over a very sort of slow period of time,
00:19:45
I suppose. Um, but yeah, it was at Yeah,
00:19:48
that time that they handed my license
00:19:49
in. So, when all that was starting to
00:19:51
happen,
00:19:52
um, yeah, I wasn't driving. So, that's
00:19:54
the safe part, right? cuz it would have
00:19:56
been terrible if I crashed and hurt
00:19:58
someone else or hurt myself or anything
00:20:00
like that. So,
00:20:01
>> are are you are you panicked at this
00:20:03
point? So, you've got you you're waking
00:20:04
up in the night with these excruciating
00:20:06
headaches that feel like you've been hit
00:20:07
by an axe.
00:20:08
>> Um your vision's not right.
00:20:11
>> Experts have told you there's nothing
00:20:13
badly wrong with you, which must provide
00:20:15
provide you with some sort of comfort or
00:20:16
reassurance.
00:20:17
>> But, um your health is just
00:20:19
deteriorating and you're a young man.
00:20:21
Are you freaking the [ __ ] out?
00:20:23
>> Yeah, pretty much.
00:20:25
Um I sort of uh like yeah it was getting
00:20:29
getting to a bad point but it was sort
00:20:30
of because of that neurologist at the
00:20:33
start there was still that sort of I
00:20:36
suppose false hope
00:20:37
>> that I was yeah that I was wrong about
00:20:39
the brain tumor but then all this other
00:20:41
[ __ ] started happening. So, um, yeah,
00:20:44
with it getting worse and worse, I was
00:20:45
just I I didn't know because cuz he had
00:20:48
said, "No, it's not a tumor." Um, that
00:20:51
kind of left my mind. So, I didn't keep
00:20:53
pressing the tumor thing. Um, which I
00:20:55
probably should have, but I mean,
00:20:56
arguably, he should have scanned me at
00:20:58
the start and this would have been
00:20:59
sweet. But, um, yeah, it was just I
00:21:04
don't know, it just I was just dealing
00:21:06
with what was in front of me at the time
00:21:07
really and just trying to get through
00:21:09
it. So,
00:21:10
>> um yeah, so after I handed my license in
00:21:14
in March,
00:21:15
>> um it just with the eyesight getting a
00:21:18
bit worse,
00:21:19
um
00:21:21
I was uh actually staying at the mount
00:21:23
with my granny at the time. Um cuz my
00:21:26
neck was insanely sore, too, cuz the
00:21:27
tumor was on my brain stem. So, all the
00:21:30
pressure was building up in like the
00:21:31
back of my head and my neck. Um so, cuz
00:21:35
my neck was sore, I was like, "Oh, let's
00:21:37
go to this chiropractor." which snapping
00:21:39
my neck around and all this which is
00:21:40
probably not good. Um but uh when I was
00:21:44
over at the mount with my granny for a
00:21:46
couple weeks, I
00:21:49
thought I should book in with the
00:21:51
optometrist and go check it out cuz I
00:21:52
like [ __ ] my eyes are getting pretty
00:21:54
pretty bad. Um and yeah, went this was
00:21:57
all the 23rd of April 2012
00:22:01
>> and had an appointment at like 9:00 in
00:22:03
the morning or something. Went there. to
00:22:05
check the pressure behind my eyes and
00:22:07
the optometrist was freaking out. He's
00:22:08
like, "Oh [ __ ] you have to go to the
00:22:10
opthalmologist immediately." So went
00:22:13
straight over to Taranga, went to the
00:22:14
opthalmology unit. Um they did the same,
00:22:18
checked the pressure in my eyes and it
00:22:20
was skyhigh. So they sent me straight to
00:22:22
Taranga Hospital for a CT. Um got the CT
00:22:27
and within about half an hour, an hour,
00:22:30
they came in and said, "I've got a brain
00:22:31
tumor." So my immediate thought was I'm
00:22:34
going to [ __ ] kill this dude, you
00:22:36
know, like I lost the plot straight
00:22:37
away, as well as being [ __ ] scared. Um,
00:22:41
and yeah, because of the size of the
00:22:43
tumor and all that sort of stuff cuz it
00:22:45
had been growing for so long. Um, they
00:22:48
wouldn't actually let me leave the
00:22:49
hospital unless I was in an ambulance.
00:22:51
So to come back over to Yet, they put me
00:22:54
in the ambulance. Um, which I I suppose
00:22:58
that's protocol, but for me, I was like,
00:23:00
I just came here in a car. I can leave
00:23:01
in the car. it's fine. But um yeah, they
00:23:04
wouldn't let me. So yeah, straight back
00:23:06
to Yet and obviously had told my mom and
00:23:10
um she met us at the hospital with her
00:23:12
best mate Wendy has since passed away. M
00:23:16
um but yeah they were they met us in ED
00:23:18
and I was in ED that night for I don't
00:23:21
know few hours or whatever and got put
00:23:23
on the ward which is ward 8 w hospital
00:23:26
um went in about 1:00 a.m. or something
00:23:28
like that and then I was the first
00:23:30
surgery the next day so 24th of April
00:23:33
2012 I say is my new birthday cuz it's
00:23:35
the day I was reborn. So
00:23:38
>> yeah.
00:23:39
>> Yeah. I mean, it's all it's all
00:23:40
hypotheticals, but had you not um gone
00:23:44
to see the optometrist in uh Bay of
00:23:46
Plenty, you what would have happened?
00:23:48
You would have been dead within a week.
00:23:50
>> [ __ ] I don't know. I really don't know.
00:23:52
Um
00:23:54
wouldn't have been good, but uh I
00:23:57
suppose I mean it was inevitable. It
00:23:59
would have been found eventually, but
00:24:00
sort of how I guess. Um but yeah, the
00:24:04
eyes were the
00:24:05
>> the uh the gateway to finding it, I
00:24:06
suppose. So
00:24:08
>> so that um brain surgery operation
00:24:11
12-hour operation I believe.
00:24:12
>> Yeah, roughly. I could be slightly off
00:24:14
but it was about 11 or 12 hours. Um so
00:24:16
yeah, they had to yeah remove the tumor
00:24:18
and
00:24:19
>> um I actually got the tumor back.
00:24:21
>> Uh I was
00:24:22
>> How big is that? What is it?
00:24:23
>> Well, I was thinking I'd get like the
00:24:25
tumor back like a like an apple in a jar
00:24:27
or something, right? But they biopsy it
00:24:29
and all that sort of stuff. So it came
00:24:30
back in all these slates, so I didn't
00:24:32
quite get the I just thought it was
00:24:33
funny and I was like, "Oh, cool. I'll
00:24:34
have it in a have it in a jar." But
00:24:36
yeah, it wasn't quite that. So, what
00:24:37
sort of size is it? Is it like a thumb
00:24:38
or
00:24:39
>> Oh, I don't know cuz it's all in like
00:24:40
little slates and stuff. So, it's all
00:24:42
been chopped up. Um,
00:24:44
>> there's not a lot of room in the inside
00:24:45
the skull, is there?
00:24:46
>> Nah. Oh, yeah. I don't know.
00:24:50
>> But, uh, my tumor was on the brain stem.
00:24:52
So, it was in like the the spinal cord
00:24:55
um fluid circulation sort of area.
00:24:57
>> Um, which is why all the uh the vomiting
00:25:00
was happening because the tumor was
00:25:01
blocking the the fluid flowing. And then
00:25:03
when I woke up and moved, it rushed past
00:25:05
and apparently causes the nausea.
00:25:07
>> Um, but that fluid backing up is what
00:25:09
caused the pressure in my head and
00:25:11
that's what caused the eyesight damage.
00:25:12
So,
00:25:13
>> yeah.
00:25:14
>> After surgery, uh, you describe lying
00:25:17
awake at night um, afraid to fall asleep
00:25:19
in case you went blind.
00:25:22
>> Yeah. What What does it do to a person
00:25:24
living with that kind of fear?
00:25:25
>> Um,
00:25:28
ruins you for sure. Um,
00:25:32
yeah. I don't know. I suppose the best
00:25:36
thing you learn in that situation is
00:25:40
although you're not comfortable, you
00:25:41
still just sort of learn to I mean, what
00:25:44
are you going to do? You can't change
00:25:45
it. So, um, you can complain all you
00:25:49
want and makes you feel better, but it's
00:25:53
it doesn't make the situation any
00:25:54
better.
00:25:55
>> So, it's sort of
00:25:56
>> I'm getting too hung up on the past.
00:25:58
It's just going to make you depressed,
00:25:59
isn't it? Yeah, pretty much. And it's
00:26:01
sort of like I mean people get cancer
00:26:03
every day, don't they? Cancer is just a
00:26:05
part of life really. And it's um it's
00:26:07
[ __ ] but people get it.
00:26:09
>> Um for me, to be honest, at the time, I
00:26:12
didn't even care about that. I was just
00:26:14
worried about the eyesight. So um
00:26:17
because it was a a sort of gradual thing
00:26:19
over the next month or two. Um yeah,
00:26:22
they were still focusing on it. I was
00:26:24
just I just want my eyesight back.
00:26:25
That's all all that I was worried about.
00:26:27
Um,
00:26:30
yeah. So, I I don't know. I sort of I
00:26:33
was kind of uh I guess you could say in
00:26:35
the mindset, excuse the language, but
00:26:37
like [ __ ] it. If I'm going to die, I
00:26:39
just at least I want to see when I die,
00:26:41
you know, or leading up to it. But
00:26:44
>> then, um, yeah, the eyesight sort of
00:26:46
leveled out where it was, and then I
00:26:47
could sort of start focusing on
00:26:48
hopefully I can get better. Um,
00:26:50
>> was it getting like progressively worse
00:26:52
by the day?
00:26:53
>> The eyesight?
00:26:54
>> Yeah. Uh yeah, it's
00:26:57
Yeah, it's a little bit hard to say
00:26:58
because I was probably freaking out a
00:27:00
bit at the same time. I mean, I was, but
00:27:03
>> Well, no doubt you would have been in a
00:27:05
spiral.
00:27:05
>> Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. And it was just
00:27:07
uh I don't know. Like I like I said
00:27:09
earlier, I think was
00:27:12
um where the eyesight stopped, I thought
00:27:15
it was still getting worse. So, I was
00:27:16
like probably overanalyzing it, like
00:27:19
looking at things going, I could see
00:27:20
more last time. I could see more last
00:27:22
time or you know, stuff like that. But
00:27:24
it's kind of all a bit of bit of a blur.
00:27:26
So, um
00:27:29
yeah, I don't I don't know. It just sort
00:27:30
of was what it what it was. And I just
00:27:34
yeah, just had to endure it and
00:27:35
hopefully still get left with some. And
00:27:37
luckily I did because I'd be absolutely
00:27:39
screwed without what I've got.
00:27:41
>> Um but uh yeah.
00:27:45
>> How long were you in hospital for?
00:27:47
>> Uh the first time was just over 3 weeks,
00:27:49
which was a bit of a stuff up.
00:27:51
>> Right. It should have only been a week,
00:27:52
but there was a few things that uh
00:27:55
didn't get done properly. Um, so first,
00:27:58
not I mean, let's preempt this. The
00:28:01
nurses do an awesome job.
00:28:03
They Yeah, they bloody awesome. But
00:28:07
sometimes things get missed and for me
00:28:09
like I didn't know what was supposed to
00:28:11
happen. It was my first time in there
00:28:12
for something like that. And um like I
00:28:16
had all these stitches down the back of
00:28:18
my head and the one of the stitch holes
00:28:22
like around the incision got infected.
00:28:24
So we didn't find that until the end of
00:28:26
the first week when I was supposed to go
00:28:27
home. Um
00:28:30
but because of that I ended up staying
00:28:31
another week because
00:28:34
risk of systemic infection or whatever.
00:28:36
So you know I was on pretty heavy
00:28:37
antibiotics and all that trying to stop
00:28:38
that cuz being in the spinal column as
00:28:40
well it's not exactly the best place to
00:28:42
get the infection. Um but luckily it
00:28:45
didn't didn't go systemic or anything
00:28:47
like that. Um and then the uh I don't
00:28:51
want to say too much detail here but the
00:28:52
uh because of um
00:28:56
being in having the surgery I had
00:29:00
uh you get given like steroids and stuff
00:29:02
to help you heal. Um and then you're
00:29:04
also on morphine and all that which sort
00:29:07
of clogs you up but the steroids
00:29:09
increase your appetite. So, like I ended
00:29:12
up pretty much literally getting told I
00:29:13
was full of [ __ ] So,
00:29:15
>> oh, just severe constipation.
00:29:18
>> I've had that before. It's the worst
00:29:19
stomach pain imaginable.
00:29:20
>> [ __ ] terrible, man. It's so bad. The
00:29:22
>> worst.
00:29:22
>> Yeah, cuz like with the steroids, I was
00:29:24
eating so much. I was eating so much.
00:29:26
Um, so yeah, there was uh Yeah, that was
00:29:30
the that was the third week in hospital
00:29:32
was trying to fix that. It was terrible,
00:29:34
but they wouldn't let me go home until
00:29:36
it was fixed. So, um yeah, that was the
00:29:38
first time. And then um
00:29:41
I ended up I think there's maybe a month
00:29:44
or 6 weeks between
00:29:46
>> that and then starting radiation. So I
00:29:49
had 6 weeks of um IMRT radiation
00:29:53
radiotherapy um which was 5 days a week.
00:29:56
>> What was that for? Just to move any
00:29:57
little bits and pieces left behind from
00:29:59
the tumor.
00:30:00
>> Um how to treat it basically. Um, so the
00:30:03
tumor was actually on my brain stem, so
00:30:06
they couldn't like remove 100% of it cuz
00:30:08
the brain stem bleeds, I'm pretty
00:30:10
screwed. So luckily my surgeon was
00:30:12
amazing. Um,
00:30:14
yeah. Um, so the tumor was actually
00:30:17
cancerous. So it was a stage 2
00:30:19
appendimoma. Um, so that's what the
00:30:22
radiation was for. Uh, luckily I didn't
00:30:25
have to have chemo because that tumor or
00:30:27
that type of cancer apparently doesn't
00:30:29
respond to chemo. So it was only
00:30:30
radiation that I could have. Um
00:30:34
so that sort of radiation sort of treats
00:30:37
the big area. So from the top of my ears
00:30:39
down I lost all my hair. So I sort of
00:30:41
just had a had a sick fade day. But um
00:30:45
yeah, that that didn't work though. So
00:30:48
it it started growing back at the end of
00:30:50
2012. Um which they noted uh obviously
00:30:55
with the checkups every month or 3
00:30:57
months or whatever it was at that stage.
00:30:59
Um
00:31:00
so it was in December sort of just
00:31:02
before Christmas they seen that it was
00:31:04
growing back and said you have to have
00:31:05
another surgery sort of go through the
00:31:07
whole process again. Um the only
00:31:10
difference this time is that uh my mom
00:31:12
and stepdad were actually getting
00:31:13
married on the 5th of January in 2013.
00:31:16
So I couldn't have surgery before that.
00:31:18
I was like I'll have to do it after
00:31:19
that. Um
00:31:21
yeah. So had the second surgery on I
00:31:26
don't know it was the start of January
00:31:27
sometime. I think maybe the 11th or
00:31:28
something. Um, that was slightly shorter
00:31:32
that surgery. I think it was only 7 or 8
00:31:33
hours. And
00:31:36
they actually managed to get some of it
00:31:38
off the brain stem. So instead of just
00:31:40
being like a solid, I don't know, cm, 2
00:31:43
centimeters, whatever it was, I don't
00:31:44
know.
00:31:45
>> Um, there was a break in the middle. So
00:31:47
there was, yeah, they got some of it
00:31:49
off. But, um, because I'd had the IMRT
00:31:52
radiation, I couldn't have that again.
00:31:55
Um, so they ended up sending me down to
00:31:57
Deneden, uh, cuz it was a I think it's
00:32:02
probably standard now, but at the time
00:32:03
it was kind of a new radiation called
00:32:05
stereotactic radiation.
00:32:07
>> And, um, yeah, they flew me down there
00:32:10
on the Wednesday. Um, got treated on the
00:32:15
Thursday, like had to go in on Thursday
00:32:18
morning.
00:32:19
They screwed a big halo thing into my
00:32:21
head, which there's some photos on my
00:32:23
athlete page if you've seen them. Um,
00:32:26
and then had to sit around all day,
00:32:29
which I don't remember much of cuz they
00:32:30
drugged me up with heaps of stuff.
00:32:32
>> And apparently I was sitting in sitting
00:32:34
in uh the cancer ward down there yelling
00:32:36
at my dog that wasn't even there
00:32:38
>> and uh tripping out and all that sort of
00:32:40
stuff. And I don't remember it, but mom
00:32:41
certainly does. Um then they treated me
00:32:44
that afternoon and night and um
00:32:49
yeah went back in on the Friday and they
00:32:51
sort of discharged it or whatever and
00:32:53
then went back to TA and caught up with
00:32:55
the boys and went to the pub. So
00:32:57
probably not the best but
00:32:59
you know um that ended up working so
00:33:01
that's why the tumor stopped growing
00:33:03
which is great. So yeah.
00:33:05
>> How how does your mom reflect on this
00:33:07
whole experience?
00:33:08
>> Um
00:33:10
it's a long time e couple of years.
00:33:12
Yeah. Um,
00:33:14
>> have you talked about this with her and
00:33:15
the toilets taken on her?
00:33:17
>> Sort of. Sort of not. Sort of. I don't
00:33:19
know. Um, like she was Yeah, she was
00:33:21
bloody good at the time. And her boss
00:33:22
was also amazing. She's been with the
00:33:25
same person um at work. She just works
00:33:28
for one guy, so it's just them two. Um,
00:33:30
she's been with him like my whole life.
00:33:32
So, he's kind of
00:33:34
>> um
00:33:35
>> like family in a way.
00:33:36
>> Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. And he's he's
00:33:37
an awesome awesome boss for her. Mhm.
00:33:39
>> Um yeah, he just let her take whatever
00:33:41
time off she needed. Didn't dock her pay
00:33:43
or anything like that and
00:33:45
>> just just yeah, let her do whatever she
00:33:47
needed to do. So like that first type of
00:33:50
radiation I had, she was going to work
00:33:51
in the morning, coming back down to
00:33:54
taking me back over to Hamilton and then
00:33:56
back down to afterwards. Um every day
00:33:59
for 6 weeks. Um but yeah, we
00:34:03
>> I don't know. She just did what what
00:34:06
mothers do, I suppose. Yeah, I mean
00:34:08
there's a lot to unpack there for her.
00:34:09
Like maybe there's like elements of
00:34:12
guilt because she she didn't think you
00:34:13
were that sick in the beginning.
00:34:15
>> Um then there's um you know just the
00:34:18
stress and the anguish of seeing your
00:34:19
son go through something like this and
00:34:21
feeling the feeling of helplessness that
00:34:23
there's nothing you can do.
00:34:24
>> Yeah, I think that yeah, the feeling of
00:34:25
helplessness would have been the most
00:34:27
prevalent. Yeah.
00:34:28
>> If someone else was going through what
00:34:30
you've been through, maybe they're at
00:34:31
the beginning of the journey now, what
00:34:33
would you tell them?
00:34:35
Um, it's a bit of a hard one because
00:34:38
it's all the cliche stuff, but like
00:34:40
being on the other side of it, you sort
00:34:42
of, it might just be me. I might just be
00:34:43
a bit bit of a bit of a dick sometimes.
00:34:46
But, uh, when people go, "Oh, it's going
00:34:48
to be all right and it's going to be
00:34:49
fine." It's like, well, when you're
00:34:50
sitting in that situation, like, you
00:34:52
don't you don't [ __ ] know that. Stop
00:34:53
saying that, you know? So,
00:34:55
>> um,
00:34:57
yeah. I don't know. It's just just keep
00:34:59
going pretty much. It's just, you know,
00:35:01
it might get better. Hopefully it gets
00:35:03
better, but you just got to be strong.
00:35:05
Just keep keep being a stubborn bugger
00:35:06
and carry on, you know. So, it's uh
00:35:10
yeah, it's a bit basically it's a little
00:35:12
bit hard to be optimistic.
00:35:15
It's yeah, it's more of a realistic
00:35:18
situation um cuz you don't want to get
00:35:20
your hopes up and then get let down as
00:35:22
well, you know. So,
00:35:23
>> yeah, you just got to take it every day
00:35:25
and as it comes and just yeah, keep keep
00:35:28
tracking on forward, you know. Well,
00:35:30
it's another boring old cliche, but I
00:35:31
suppose it's like just, you know, keep
00:35:32
moving forward, eh? Put one foot in
00:35:34
front of the other.
00:35:35
>> Was there a specific moment when you
00:35:37
realized, [ __ ] you know, my old life is
00:35:39
gone?
00:35:40
>> And and how do you emotionally process
00:35:43
that?
00:35:46
Um,
00:35:48
I suppose for me it sounds a bit silly,
00:35:50
but um just before I actually ended up
00:35:53
in hospital, I got a new motorbike. I
00:35:56
got a uh yeah, motocross bike, sorry.
00:35:58
and um never actually got to take it on
00:36:00
the track. So um
00:36:04
I sort of I held on to it for probably
00:36:08
about a year afterwards just in hopes
00:36:10
that my eyesight would come back and
00:36:12
then like when I ended up going ah might
00:36:16
as well you know give it back to the
00:36:18
shop and take it back to the shop. Um
00:36:20
that was probably the point where it
00:36:22
sunk in for me that my eyesight is not
00:36:24
coming back. So that was when I could
00:36:27
sort of start
00:36:29
yeah sort of yeah maybe planning some
00:36:32
other stuff and trying to look forward
00:36:34
to what I may be able to do you know
00:36:35
>> accepting it and maybe yeah do you think
00:36:37
that's when you started sort of
00:36:38
grieving?
00:36:40
>> Um n sort of all my grieving was in the
00:36:43
first sort of year and a half. Um
00:36:47
>> by grieving it's just me sort of being a
00:36:48
dumbass.
00:36:50
>> What do you mean?
00:36:50
>> Oh just medicating with just trying to
00:36:53
be normal, you know. um just getting
00:36:55
pissed and
00:36:57
>> sort of trying to act like it didn't
00:36:58
happen.
00:36:59
>> Um
00:37:01
>> not the best being blind and going into
00:37:03
a social situation where there's alcohol
00:37:05
involved and there's a lot of idiots
00:37:08
around basically that you know I can't
00:37:10
see what's there and I accidentally bump
00:37:12
into someone and oh sorry bro but then
00:37:14
they turn around and you know and fights
00:37:16
kick off and it's like I'm just trying
00:37:18
to walk to take a piss somewhere you
00:37:20
know. Um, so I just, yeah, um, there's a
00:37:23
lot of that stupid stuff that, um, yeah,
00:37:26
it's not, not the best situation for a
00:37:28
blind guy.
00:37:29
>> Uh, yeah. So, that was that was that
00:37:31
first sort of year, year and a half. And
00:37:33
then,
00:37:34
>> yeah, best to step away from that and
00:37:37
uh, how do you say it? Remove yourself
00:37:39
from the situation to sort of have an
00:37:40
outside perspective or gain some
00:37:42
clarity, right? And start thinking
00:37:43
clearly and
00:37:45
>> um, yeah, start looking forward rather
00:37:47
than sort of just weekend to weekend or
00:37:49
something like that. So
00:37:51
>> yeah,
00:37:51
>> I think um the the way you act is
00:37:54
probably perfectly rational. Like um you
00:37:56
just want to bury your head in the sand
00:37:58
and like try and pretend it's not there.
00:38:00
>> Yeah,
00:38:01
>> I think that's probably quite normal,
00:38:03
>> especially at that age, like 19, 20.
00:38:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Um the sort of the
00:38:08
the other hard thing was that uh like at
00:38:10
that age, right, everyone's sort of
00:38:13
growing up and starting their career or
00:38:15
going off and doing stuff and you know,
00:38:17
traveling, whatever it may be. Um so for
00:38:21
everyone sort of social uh groups change
00:38:25
or
00:38:26
>> you know um yeah life changes for
00:38:29
everyone regardless but for me it was
00:38:31
sort of everything happened at once.
00:38:33
>> Yeah.
00:38:33
>> So that was the other hard thing like
00:38:35
was the eyesight the sort of the cancer
00:38:37
um but then also the
00:38:40
>> uh sort of loss or perceived loss of
00:38:44
friendship
00:38:45
>> and like my circle got a lot smaller. Um
00:38:49
but yeah, in those situations you sort
00:38:51
of
00:38:53
it definitely weasles out the
00:38:55
>> fake fans. Fake friends.
00:38:57
>> Yeah. Not necessarily fake friends, but
00:39:00
people that you're not as close with at
00:39:01
least. And like your your real mates
00:39:03
sort of step up, you know? So
00:39:05
>> yeah, fake friends as you ones that are
00:39:08
only want to be there for the good
00:39:09
times.
00:39:10
>> Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. And like that's
00:39:12
a human thing as well. But you know,
00:39:14
>> especially at that age as well, you
00:39:15
know, at that age, I mean, you you've
00:39:18
called yourself a dumbass a few times. I
00:39:20
I I definitely was like, you well into
00:39:22
my 20s or even 30s. And
00:39:24
>> yeah, you know, you don't want to you
00:39:26
don't want to you don't want the party
00:39:28
to stop.
00:39:29
>> You want someone to bring the party
00:39:30
down.
00:39:30
>> Yeah, pretty much. And to I mean to it's
00:39:32
not putting yourself down to say
00:39:33
dumbass, right? It's just realizing that
00:39:35
you've grown as a person, you know,
00:39:37
stuff like that. So,
00:39:39
>> so um that that moment where you sent
00:39:42
the dirt bike back to the shop, I
00:39:44
suppose that's um that's you grieving
00:39:45
the life that you thought you were going
00:39:47
to have. Um yeah, then how do you how do
00:39:49
you find the strength to build a new
00:39:50
one?
00:39:51
>> Um
00:39:52
I sort of I guess like what I said about
00:39:57
being when I was a kid growing up being
00:39:59
very sporty and all that sort of stuff.
00:40:01
I sort of started
00:40:03
thinking of that sort of in the bigger
00:40:06
picture was thinking
00:40:08
uh like who was I
00:40:12
what did I turn into what I want to get
00:40:14
back to sort of just sort of yeah
00:40:18
um nitpicking myself really you know so
00:40:21
uh it's plus also I gained a lot of
00:40:25
weight so I got got a few titties
00:40:28
growing and stuff when I I lost my
00:40:30
eyesight and got pretty fat. Um,
00:40:32
>> just just cuz you're not doing the same
00:40:33
sort of amount of physical activity.
00:40:35
>> Yeah. Just sitting around eating and you
00:40:37
know not able to work. I mean working on
00:40:39
your feet all day burns a shitload of
00:40:41
calories. So
00:40:43
>> um I just yeah also eating bad. I wasn't
00:40:46
wasn't eating good but um
00:40:48
>> yeah got got quite heavy and also when I
00:40:50
was sick I was quite skinny because I
00:40:53
was sick you know. Um, so it was the
00:40:56
motivator for that was basically just
00:40:58
get back into the gym and start losing
00:40:59
some weight and try to get a bit bit
00:41:01
more healthy again, you know. And then I
00:41:03
sort of I'm very competitive. So doing
00:41:08
that, I started thinking maybe I should
00:41:09
look at sports and see what I might be
00:41:12
able to do cuz I don't know what blind
00:41:13
guys do, you know. Um,
00:41:16
and yeah, I ended up getting
00:41:20
uh originally I was going to look at
00:41:22
paratriathlon because I was decent at at
00:41:26
triathlons when I was a kid, but um the
00:41:28
distances are much bigger when you're an
00:41:29
adult. So, um, and I'm not much of an
00:41:32
endurance guy. Like, I can do it, but I
00:41:35
I don't really enjoy it. So, um, ended
00:41:38
up because
00:41:40
the bike league of the triathlon is
00:41:42
obviously one of them. someone at Sport
00:41:45
Y could I mention parasycling to me? Um
00:41:47
so I was I'll give it a go and went down
00:41:49
to this camp uh in New Plymouth and they
00:41:52
did testing and all that and originally
00:41:54
I actually missed out. Um but me being a
00:41:57
stubborn bugger I just kept going and
00:41:59
yeah eventually yeah got put in the the
00:42:02
development program and just yeah that
00:42:04
was that was the goal and just started
00:42:06
going like that. I was like well I want
00:42:07
to be at the I want to be a parolympian
00:42:09
or something so or world champ something
00:42:11
like that. um aim higher, right? So,
00:42:14
>> yeah. Well, I I suppose that's the um
00:42:15
that's the path forward a like finding
00:42:17
finding some sort of goals.
00:42:19
>> Yeah, it's finding a purpose, something
00:42:21
to work towards cuz it's uh I tell you
00:42:25
one thing is is sitting at home by
00:42:26
yourself all day every day is not fun.
00:42:29
>> Ruminating. No.
00:42:30
>> Yeah. It's it's not good for the mind.
00:42:32
It's not it's not good for anything
00:42:34
really. Um
00:42:35
>> even just as
00:42:37
>> as a human that we've we've all got to
00:42:39
have purpose. if you don't have purpose,
00:42:41
you're just lost and you just, you know,
00:42:42
that whether you've got depression or
00:42:44
not or whatever, um it's not going to
00:42:47
make you feel good. So,
00:42:49
>> you need something to make yourself feel
00:42:51
fulfilled and and like you're
00:42:52
accomplishing something. So,
00:42:54
>> did you have depression for a time?
00:42:56
>> Yep.
00:42:56
>> Yeah,
00:42:57
>> 100%. What did that look like?
00:42:59
>> Uh, it was all I mean obviously the
00:43:02
first year and a bit was pretty bad
00:43:05
trying to adjust and all that and um,
00:43:08
you know, wasn't helped by alcohol
00:43:12
um, and all that sort of stuff. But, uh,
00:43:15
yeah, I I went and got like a diagnosis
00:43:20
and all that sort of stuff. Uh, but I
00:43:24
never actually took the
00:43:25
anti-depressants. I sort of just pulled
00:43:28
myself out of it in the end. Um,
00:43:30
>> why didn't you take the the drugs?
00:43:33
>> Uh, I don't know. I can't really
00:43:35
remember. I sort of just
00:43:37
probably like it's like I don't want to
00:43:40
be taking that [ __ ] every day. And, you
00:43:42
know, um, yeah, I just never never ended
00:43:44
up taking them. So,
00:43:46
>> um,
00:43:48
yeah. I don't know. Just being stubborn
00:43:51
as well in all areas, you know.
00:43:53
>> Yeah.
00:43:54
>> Yeah. Although um yeah there's no
00:43:57
there's yeah I mean each to their own
00:43:58
but yeah there's no shame in it. Like if
00:44:00
there's uh if if you're depressed and
00:44:02
there's something that can help you feel
00:44:03
better even if it's to mask it.
00:44:04
>> Yeah.
00:44:05
>> Yeah. I don't think there's any shame in
00:44:06
that. And there's I mean obviously there
00:44:08
was a reason that you were feeling
00:44:09
depressed like a very obvious reason.
00:44:11
>> Um but for some people that have a
00:44:13
chemical imbalance in their brain if it
00:44:14
can be you know fixed with um medication
00:44:18
then yeah I'm all for it.
00:44:19
>> Yeah for sure. And um like I had been on
00:44:22
them at a later period. I'm not on them
00:44:24
now. come off them. But um yeah, at the
00:44:26
time I don't know, I just sort of just I
00:44:29
don't know, is what it is. And it's just
00:44:31
what I found is I sort of um you know,
00:44:35
the exercise getting back into that sort
00:44:37
of stuff, going to the gym, the the you
00:44:39
know, the dopamine release from from
00:44:40
from exercising and all that made me a
00:44:43
lot better. And it
00:44:45
>> you know, also losing the weight again
00:44:47
and getting back down to a healthy
00:44:48
weight and you know, look good, feel
00:44:50
good, right? So, um, yeah, definitely
00:44:52
helped
00:44:54
>> definitely helped me move forward for
00:44:56
sure. So,
00:44:58
>> so the the, um, periods there after
00:45:00
you'd been out of hospital and you were
00:45:02
like adjusting to the new normal. Um,
00:45:04
I'm guessing that was sort of like the
00:45:05
the rock bottom.
00:45:08
Were you putting on a brave face for
00:45:09
your family and like cry? Were you
00:45:11
crying yourself to sleep at night when
00:45:12
you're on your own? No, I think the most
00:45:16
uh prominent way I would have expressed
00:45:19
myself was just being angry.
00:45:21
>> Um, never did anything bad, but
00:45:24
>> just frustrated.
00:45:25
>> Yeah, just pissed off, man. I get it.
00:45:27
You know, just was Yeah, it was what it
00:45:29
was. But, um,
00:45:31
>> just, yeah, very short fuse, all that.
00:45:34
Like, don't piss me off cuz I'm going to
00:45:35
I'm going to bite your head off, you
00:45:36
know.
00:45:37
>> Um, so I certainly, you know, that that
00:45:39
adds into that social situation I was
00:45:41
mentioning as well. And you can see that
00:45:43
I was not easy to be around.
00:45:45
>> Um, I can certainly see that. Um, but
00:45:49
yeah, just sort of what else are you
00:45:52
going to do, right? There's no there's
00:45:54
no written guide on how to deal with
00:45:56
stuff and, you know, get through the
00:45:59
[ __ ] life throws you. So, um, you
00:46:02
just got to find your way, I guess. And
00:46:03
sometimes it it takes time.
00:46:05
>> So,
00:46:06
>> I had another guy on the podcast called,
00:46:08
um, Lee War. when he was 16, he had a
00:46:10
scooter accident and ended up um
00:46:12
paralyzed.
00:46:13
>> Oh [ __ ]
00:46:13
>> Um and from 16 to 21, he was [ __ ]
00:46:16
angry. Yeah. Like just angry. Like he
00:46:19
reflects now he was horrible to be
00:46:20
around. Like pushed everyone away.
00:46:22
>> And then um his rock bottom came like I
00:46:24
think I think it was at the age of 21 he
00:46:26
tried to take his own life um and
00:46:28
failed. And from there that was a
00:46:30
turning point. And since then he's had a
00:46:32
remarkable life. like he does the even
00:46:34
though he's unable to walk, he does this
00:46:36
the sky tower challenge every year like
00:46:38
just using his arms and his upper body
00:46:39
to push himself up.
00:46:40
>> He's some big guns, eh?
00:46:42
>> Yeah. He's done all the world's major
00:46:43
marathons. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was
00:46:46
there an actual rock botto bottom moment
00:46:48
for you?
00:46:48
>> Um I suppose it was
00:46:52
like I ended up um
00:46:57
I don't even know what time or what time
00:46:59
frame it was. What year? Must have been
00:47:01
2013, maybe 2014. Um, I ended up being
00:47:06
too much for my family and I went and
00:47:08
lived with my one of my best mates uh
00:47:12
family
00:47:13
>> for a while. Um, it was
00:47:14
>> just cuz you're too angry.
00:47:15
>> No, I was kind of told to bugger off.
00:47:17
Um, but it was my fault. So, uh,
00:47:20
>> why? What' you do?
00:47:21
>> Oh, just being angry and not, you know,
00:47:23
um,
00:47:24
>> yeah, it wasn't wasn't a healthy
00:47:25
situation um, for anyone. Um, but my my
00:47:29
mates's family were sort of like my
00:47:31
second family growing up. I was at their
00:47:32
house all the time when I was a teenager
00:47:34
and stuff and used to go to their family
00:47:36
events and all that, you know, like even
00:47:38
their grandma's birthdays and stuff like
00:47:40
that. So
00:47:41
>> yeah, that's the King family. They're my
00:47:43
second family for sure. Um but yeah,
00:47:46
sort of going and living there for a
00:47:49
while sort of made me yeah, just I
00:47:52
suppose being removed from a situation,
00:47:54
having some clarity and that's when I
00:47:56
actually started getting into the the
00:47:58
the gym and stuff. So,
00:48:00
>> um cuz I was in town, so I was able to
00:48:03
walk to the gym and just start moving a
00:48:05
bit and it started clearing my mind and
00:48:07
started helping me.
00:48:08
>> Um yeah, and then from there is where it
00:48:10
went into the the cycling thing. So
00:48:13
>> it's it's understandable that you're in
00:48:14
this um this this anger period. I
00:48:16
suppose it's grief in a way and
00:48:18
frustration and just a whole mixture of
00:48:20
things,
00:48:20
>> but you just can't stay there forever.
00:48:22
>> Yeah, exactly. It's uh
00:48:23
>> it's not not healthy for anyone.
00:48:25
>> Nah, self-destructive behavior is not
00:48:27
productive.
00:48:29
>> So, so um so losing your sight um Yeah.
00:48:33
What was easier than what you thought?
00:48:34
What was harder than what you thought?
00:48:37
>> [ __ ] that's a that's a good question.
00:48:39
Um,
00:48:43
I suppose you could say in a way the
00:48:45
cancer was easier than I thought because
00:48:46
I didn't even think about it. Um,
00:48:49
but also, uh, just to to explain that
00:48:53
one a bit.
00:48:54
>> The doctors explained it to me, if
00:48:56
you're going to get cancer, that's the
00:48:57
one you want. So, in terms of the cancer
00:49:00
route, I had a easy route
00:49:02
>> cuz obviously cancer is not easy for for
00:49:04
anyone really. Um,
00:49:06
but the what was harder than I thought
00:49:09
was probably
00:49:11
I mean I suppose I'm still kind of
00:49:13
dealing with it now a bit even though I
00:49:15
had a goal and I've gone after it and
00:49:16
stuff like that. The the direction is
00:49:20
hard because everything
00:49:22
before this was, you know, I wanted to
00:49:26
be a cop. I wanted to, you know, just
00:49:28
driving tractors and stuff like that.
00:49:30
Um,
00:49:32
yeah. Direction. Oh, sorry. Also
00:49:34
independence.
00:49:35
>> That's that was definitely the hardest.
00:49:37
It just came into my mind then.
00:49:39
>> But uh yeah, losing your independence
00:49:42
was horrible. Absolutely sucks. Um yeah,
00:49:48
not being able to drive, not being able
00:49:49
to walk up the street by myself and sort
00:49:51
of know where I'm going. I can walk up
00:49:53
the street. I look look a bit drunk. But
00:49:55
uh um yeah, just even just, you know,
00:49:57
the things you take for granted, which
00:49:59
is, you know, even just walking into a
00:50:01
shop and go, "Oh, I want to get this off
00:50:03
the shelf, but where the [ __ ] is it?"
00:50:05
>> Um just those little things where you
00:50:08
don't feel like a independent adult.
00:50:10
>> Um you feel like a little unaccompanied
00:50:13
minor or something again, you know, that
00:50:14
needs help. So it's um yeah, it's
00:50:18
difficult. That's that's the
00:50:21
>> probably the biggest hurdle was was
00:50:23
dealing with that. So
00:50:25
>> yeah,
00:50:27
>> like it's it's been like 12 13 years
00:50:29
now. When you dream, what do you see?
00:50:34
>> I don't even know, man. I I don't even
00:50:35
know if I dream.
00:50:36
>> You see in in full vision?
00:50:38
>> Uh I guess so. I I mean I I very very
00:50:42
rarely um
00:50:45
realize I've had dreams. Um I don't
00:50:48
know. The the last thing I actually
00:50:50
remember dreaming was seeing my dog. So
00:50:55
>> it's like he was coming to see me.
00:50:58
>> Oh, your dog has passed away.
00:51:00
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:00
>> Oh [ __ ]
00:51:01
>> Bloody Blaze.
00:51:03
>> So was um Did you have Blaze before the
00:51:05
the brain tumor?
00:51:07
>> No.
00:51:08
>> So
00:51:09
um I got him at the end of 2012.
00:51:12
December 2012 I got Blaze.
00:51:14
>> Oh. So right when you're in the thick of
00:51:16
it.
00:51:16
>> Yeah. He's uh he's going to make me cry,
00:51:19
but uh he gets me every time.
00:51:21
>> It's all right,
00:51:22
>> little bastard.
00:51:23
>> This little uh people won't be able to
00:51:25
see this on camera or if they're
00:51:26
listening to this, but um yeah, my
00:51:28
little 11year-old Sydney Silky Kanye,
00:51:30
>> he's on the floor here.
00:51:32
>> Every day, honestly, without fail, every
00:51:35
day I think about how [ __ ] sad it's
00:51:37
going to be when he dies.
00:51:38
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's terrible, man.
00:51:40
>> Terrible.
00:51:41
>> As soon as I got him, I didn't even
00:51:42
[ __ ] want him. It was a birthday
00:51:44
present for my ex-wife. Within a week of
00:51:46
having him, I started googling like
00:51:48
lifespan for Sydney Silkies cuz I knew
00:51:50
it was going to be, you know, just an
00:51:53
absolute gut punch when he dies.
00:51:55
>> Yeah.
00:51:55
>> Um
00:51:56
>> Yeah, that's the thing.
00:51:57
>> And it is. It's going to be terrible.
00:51:58
It's going to leave a massive hole in my
00:52:00
life. But um yeah, like every morning
00:52:02
when he's lying in bed with me and I'm
00:52:04
Yeah. I've got got a hand on him.
00:52:06
>> Yeah.
00:52:06
>> I just think [ __ ] I got to appreciate
00:52:08
this because this isn't going to be part
00:52:09
of my life forever.
00:52:10
>> Yeah. That's the thing, man. Those uh
00:52:13
man's best friend, right? It's um
00:52:16
>> Yeah, they're pretty special. So
00:52:18
>> yeah. So Blaze
00:52:19
>> Yeah, Blaze was uh
00:52:20
>> So you got him when you're in the thick
00:52:21
of it, when you're really in the
00:52:22
trenches.
00:52:23
>> Yeah. Well, like originally I was like
00:52:26
I mean I was thinking at the very start
00:52:28
it's like [ __ ] do I get a get a guide
00:52:30
dog or whatever? But then I was like I
00:52:33
mean I even at that time I still
00:52:34
realized it's like I don't need a guide
00:52:36
dog cuz there's people that are totally
00:52:38
blind that really need them, you know.
00:52:40
Um I can make do. Um, but I was like, I
00:52:42
need a need a buddy. And um, I just
00:52:45
jumped on TradeMe and was looking for
00:52:48
breeders and stuff like that that were
00:52:50
advertising. Um,
00:52:53
but uh, I sort of grew up with German
00:52:56
shepherds sort of as my mom's good mate.
00:52:59
Um, Carl and Kay, they they had German
00:53:02
shepherds, so I was always around German
00:53:03
shepherds when I was younger. Um,
00:53:06
so I just started searching and didn't
00:53:08
even know there was white shepherds. Um
00:53:12
but yeah, I came across him. I was like,
00:53:14
I don't know. It looks different. He's
00:53:15
he's he looks cool. So, or they look
00:53:17
cool cuz yeah, um decided to go get a
00:53:21
white shepherd and you know, turned up
00:53:24
there and he's the one that ran to me.
00:53:25
So, I thought that was quite cool. So, I
00:53:28
was like, he's mine and uh yeah, the
00:53:30
rest was history, I suppose.
00:53:32
>> So, yeah, he was
00:53:36
on his uh on his box.
00:53:40
his box at home. He's got um
00:53:43
just a little note that we put on there
00:53:45
was uh my savior and guardian. So
00:53:50
>> yeah,
00:53:51
>> that's my boy.
00:53:55
>> It's good to cry about it. I think it
00:53:57
shows how much um how much you care.
00:54:00
>> Yeah. I wish I could control it a bit
00:54:01
better, but he's like a tap.
00:54:02
>> Oh no. When when did he when did he
00:54:04
pass?
00:54:05
>> Uh 15th of March, 2023.
00:54:08
>> Yeah. So he
00:54:09
>> It's been a couple of years. [ __ ]
00:54:10
That's a big impact, eh?
00:54:11
>> Yeah, man. It's uh I was lucky I had
00:54:13
Lucy. Um by that time, if I lost him
00:54:16
when I didn't have Lucy, I think it
00:54:17
would have been pretty [ __ ] So,
00:54:19
>> it's um
00:54:21
>> yeah, is what it is. But he we had to we
00:54:24
had to have him put it down. So,
00:54:25
>> Oh, no.
00:54:26
>> Yeah, he got a big big tumor in his
00:54:28
stomach, right? Um which to
00:54:30
>> what they described was it was like in
00:54:32
the wall of his stomach, so it's
00:54:33
inoperable. He was 10 and a half as
00:54:35
well. So,
00:54:36
>> pretty good life for his his breed. So,
00:54:38
>> so were you there with him holding a paw
00:54:40
or something?
00:54:42
>> Yeah. Um Lucy's dad's actually a vet. Uh
00:54:46
he's retired now, but he was a vet, so
00:54:49
he actually came over and did it at
00:54:51
home.
00:54:52
>> Um
00:54:52
>> Oh, that's nice.
00:54:55
>> Yeah. Yeah, it was cool that we could do
00:54:56
it at home. And then we took him to the
00:54:59
crerematorium and um I thought I could
00:55:02
carry him by myself, but I sort of
00:55:04
didn't think of the dead body, you know.
00:55:05
And I went to pick him was, "Oh [ __ ]
00:55:07
no, no, we need two people." Cuz it felt
00:55:09
like he was going to freaking he was a
00:55:11
bit too bendy, you know.
00:55:13
>> Um, but yeah, so he was
00:55:18
it was pretty hard. It's pretty hard. So
00:55:22
>> yeah.
00:55:23
>> Well, I suppose he
00:55:25
he helped you get through some really
00:55:27
rough times.
00:55:30
>> Yeah. It's um
00:55:31
>> just by being there.
00:55:32
>> Yeah. Yeah, it was just his presence
00:55:33
basically, but he he was very protective
00:55:36
of me too, which was pretty funny.
00:55:37
>> Was he in what way?
00:55:38
>> Uh just like he'd sort of he'd get in
00:55:41
between me and other people and sort of
00:55:42
look at them like he was not bad at all.
00:55:44
He wouldn't he wouldn't hurt a fly. Um
00:55:47
>> I think it's a white sheeperd thing. I'm
00:55:48
not too sure. But um
00:55:51
like he'd be a guard dog, you know, and
00:55:53
people turn up just a normal dog thing
00:55:54
and bark at everyone and stuff, but if
00:55:56
people walk towards him, he'd run away.
00:55:58
>> So he'd run away and then come back and
00:56:00
bark and run away. like he wouldn't let
00:56:01
them touch him. Um but yeah, if someone
00:56:03
like tried to give me a hug or
00:56:04
something, he'd be like jumping in
00:56:05
between us trying to push him away and
00:56:07
stuff. So
00:56:08
>> like get jealous.
00:56:09
>> Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. He
00:56:11
was a very um uh what do you say? Very
00:56:14
emotive dog. He used to I mean I'm sure
00:56:17
many dogs do it, but it looked like he
00:56:18
packed tantrums and argued and all that
00:56:20
sort of stuff. It was pretty funny. So
00:56:23
>> um yeah, he's very very special to me.
00:56:25
So,
00:56:26
>> um, non dog people won't won't get this
00:56:29
question at all, but can you remember
00:56:31
like your last conversation with him or
00:56:32
your final words?
00:56:33
>> Uh, you give him a little pep talk.
00:56:36
>> Yeah. Like I was doing it for like the
00:56:38
last two weeks pretty much. It was just
00:56:41
um cuz we were like hoping that he was
00:56:43
going to be okay,
00:56:45
>> but uh
00:56:47
I um
00:56:53
it was just a
00:56:56
The most
00:56:58
the thing I said to him most was just
00:56:59
you will always be my best buddy. So
00:57:04
>> you weren't lying.
00:57:05
>> Yeah.
00:57:08
Far out. Little bastard. Um I still talk
00:57:11
to him every day. So
00:57:12
>> got some tissues there.
00:57:14
>> Yeah. Cheers, man.
00:57:15
>> Yeah.
00:57:16
>> Um
00:57:17
yeah, I still he's got a he's got two
00:57:20
big photo frames and then one big photo
00:57:22
on the wall.
00:57:22
>> Mhm. So, got his his box below that and
00:57:26
his uh
00:57:28
his collars.
00:57:29
[ __ ] hell, get it together, mate. Uh
00:57:32
his collars on the wall between the
00:57:34
photo and the box. So,
00:57:36
>> yeah. Still talk to him every night. So,
00:57:41
>> yeah. And you came into the office
00:57:42
before we did the podcast. You holding
00:57:44
some Polaroid photos of him as well.
00:57:47
>> Yeah. That was Lucy's doing, eh? Um
00:57:50
>> Lucy's not jealous of this relationship.
00:57:52
No, she she loved him to bits as well.
00:57:54
She was she was [ __ ] scared of them at
00:57:56
the start, but uh
00:57:58
>> she was just a little bit nervous around
00:58:00
dogs due to some stuff that happened
00:58:02
with a dog in her childhood.
00:58:03
>> Yeah, for sure.
00:58:04
>> Um but I assured her, I was like, "No,
00:58:06
he just looks stuff. He's a softy." And
00:58:08
she was in love with him straight away.
00:58:10
It's probably the only reason she
00:58:11
stayed. Um
00:58:12
>> after I met her, hey, she's like, "I'll
00:58:14
just stay for the dog cuz you know he's
00:58:16
better than I was." So,
00:58:18
>> um but uh what was the question? Sorry.
00:58:24
Um, oh, I can't even remember what it
00:58:25
was.
00:58:25
>> Yeah, I lost my way. So,
00:58:26
>> anyway, no, it's it's all good. Um,
00:58:28
thanks for sharing that stuff. I know
00:58:29
it's not easy, but
00:58:30
>> Oh, the Polaroids.
00:58:31
>> Oh. Oh, yeah. You're still carrying
00:58:32
around Polaroids of them.
00:58:33
>> Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, they they're on my
00:58:34
bedside table, but um cuz we actually
00:58:37
got married uh on this Oh my god. 16th
00:58:41
of May.
00:58:41
>> Mhm.
00:58:42
>> [ __ ] I probably just got that wrong.
00:58:44
>> Oh, just recently, like 2 months ago.
00:58:45
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:58:46
>> Congratulations.
00:58:46
>> Yeah. Cheers, mate. Um I didn't think it
00:58:48
would happen, but it did. So,
00:58:51
um, yeah, and she, uh, I don't know, the
00:58:55
morning of, she had given the best man
00:58:58
instructions and he brought the stuff
00:59:00
out and I opened it up and it's two
00:59:02
little photos of Blaze and I was like,
00:59:03
"Ah, [ __ ] Here we go." Like be crying
00:59:05
all day. So, um, for that reason, you
00:59:09
know, like, uh, he just, I don't know. I
00:59:10
don't cry over anything. Never have.
00:59:13
>> Well, apart from it was a soft cop when
00:59:15
I was a kid, but
00:59:15
>> how how, um, yeah, how did you and Lucy
00:59:18
make? Um
00:59:21
the typical uh way of the future um
00:59:24
>> oh Tinder
00:59:24
>> Bumble
00:59:25
>> Bumble's one of those two.
00:59:27
>> So yeah being being a bit blinder it's I
00:59:30
can't really go out and like meet people
00:59:32
so it was sort of you know meet on there
00:59:34
and didn't tell her I was blind.
00:59:36
>> Um
00:59:37
>> didn't you why not?
00:59:38
>> Uh you sort of learn that uh
00:59:40
>> you don't have that in your profile like
00:59:41
as a No. No.
00:59:43
>> No. So many times it's um you'd be
00:59:46
talking to people for a while and then
00:59:50
or you know you tell them you're blind
00:59:52
and you sort of stop getting replies. Um
00:59:54
stuff like that even though I'm not
00:59:56
totally blind. Um you know most people
00:59:57
wouldn't notice unless I go somewhere
00:59:59
unfamiliar. Uh but yeah, it's just uh
01:00:03
what people do cuz obviously it's not
01:00:05
quite normal. So um yeah, I didn't
01:00:08
didn't mention it to her. Uh but at this
01:00:11
point I'd already been to world champs a
01:00:14
couple times. So she searched me on
01:00:15
Google and there was a couple articles
01:00:17
or something like that. So she found out
01:00:18
but she didn't tell me. So I was still
01:00:20
talking to her for I think we're talking
01:00:22
like three or so weeks before we
01:00:24
actually met. Um
01:00:27
>> she she done a a good little stalk by
01:00:28
then.
01:00:29
>> Yeah. Apparently. Yeah. Which I didn't
01:00:30
know until later. But um
01:00:32
>> I think you got to do your own research
01:00:34
on these things. I can for that.
01:00:35
>> Exactly. Exactly. But uh you know um
01:00:38
because I hadn't told her, we had the
01:00:41
the place set which was a cafe just down
01:00:43
the road from me um in Cambridge that I
01:00:46
could walk to and
01:00:49
just my luck the day that we were going
01:00:51
to meet. It was pissing down. So I was a
01:00:53
[ __ ] I can't I can't walk there cuz I'll
01:00:56
get absolutely soaked. So my pilot from
01:00:58
the tandem I was calling him. I was
01:00:59
like, "Man, can you come save me? I
01:01:00
haven't told this chick I'm blind. So
01:01:02
can you come drop me off?" And he's
01:01:03
like, "Oh yeah, yeah." You know, came
01:01:05
drop me off. And um I walked in there
01:01:07
and walked straight into a bloody chair
01:01:08
in front of her. Um I better tell you
01:01:11
straight away. I'm actually actually a
01:01:12
bit blind. Um and she's like, "Yeah, I
01:01:14
know." So yeah, I don't know. Meant to
01:01:17
be, I guess. Um
01:01:18
>> that's cool. God, that must have felt
01:01:19
like um a huge amount of stress off your
01:01:21
shoulders when she said, "Yeah, I know."
01:01:23
>> Yeah, sort of. Um
01:01:24
>> yeah, why?
01:01:25
>> I find that I mean, if I just met
01:01:27
people, they can see that I'm still
01:01:28
pretty sweet. Um, but I think it's the
01:01:31
thought of
01:01:34
I don't know, just people going, "Oh,
01:01:35
he's blind. He like can't see anything.
01:01:36
I'll have to lead him everywhere. I'll
01:01:38
have to do this." Whatever it may be. I
01:01:39
don't know. Um, but you're seeing me.
01:01:42
Most people don't know I'm blind. So,
01:01:44
>> um, I still get around her to write
01:01:45
until I smack into something. But,
01:01:48
>> um, yeah, I don't know. And then, yeah,
01:01:50
later on she, well, that same day she
01:01:54
wanted to meet Blaze, so she came blaze.
01:01:56
And um yeah, like I said, she probably
01:01:58
only stayed for him, but uh but you
01:02:01
know, she loved me eventually.
01:02:04
>> Yeah. Yeah. How long did it take?
01:02:06
>> Um for what exactly?
01:02:07
>> Well, like Yeah. To fall in love before
01:02:09
you realize it was something serious.
01:02:11
>> Oh, I don't know, man.
01:02:13
>> Obviously obviously when you when you
01:02:14
when you met in the cafe, you met for
01:02:16
the first time and you said I'm blind
01:02:18
and she's like, "Yeah, I know."
01:02:19
Obviously, you realized at that point
01:02:21
that was not a barrier.
01:02:22
>> Yeah. Oh, yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah,
01:02:24
I was a bit worried about the stalker
01:02:26
though, but uh you know
01:02:28
um yeah. No, she I don't know, it just
01:02:31
sort of just grew. And uh
01:02:33
>> it was actually within a couple weeks of
01:02:35
that as well. We um
01:02:37
had a very close family friend, the one
01:02:40
that had the German Shepherds when I was
01:02:41
growing up, he actually ended up passing
01:02:43
away.
01:02:44
>> And my family had gone, well, my mom and
01:02:46
stepdad had gone to hospital to be with
01:02:48
them because it was quite rushed. And um
01:02:50
I was in Cambridge. So I was like,
01:02:52
"Shit, I need to get to hospital cuz he
01:02:54
was like sort of like my dad when I was
01:02:56
younger. He was or at least the male
01:02:59
role model for me."
01:03:00
>> Um spent a lot of time with me when I
01:03:03
was a little fella and uh you know had
01:03:06
to get there but I couldn't. So I had to
01:03:08
call her and I was like [ __ ] I don't
01:03:10
want to ask and it would be a pain but
01:03:12
like do you reckon you could come and
01:03:13
get me and take me to the hospital so I
01:03:15
can go see him? And um she did that and
01:03:17
so it was sort of like yeah that kind of
01:03:20
set her aside even more for me
01:03:22
>> cuz it was like oh sweet you know.
01:03:24
>> Yeah. And she's um Yes. So you live in
01:03:27
Cambridge?
01:03:28
>> Yeah.
01:03:28
>> Yes. Yeah. I can turn the air con on if
01:03:30
you want.
01:03:30
>> No, it's all good. Just take the jersey
01:03:32
off.
01:03:32
>> Yeah. Um Yes. You live in live in
01:03:34
Cambridge. Um the Pod Lab studio is in
01:03:36
Oakuckland. She she drove you up today.
01:03:38
She's sitting out in the office watching
01:03:40
us now.
01:03:41
>> Yep.
01:03:41
>> She's probably thinking, "What the [ __ ]
01:03:42
You cry about the dog, but not me." Oh,
01:03:44
she knows that, man.
01:03:45
>> What um yeah, your your blindness. Yeah.
01:03:48
What how does it impact her?
01:03:50
>> Like she drove you up here today.
01:03:53
>> There's obviously things like that where
01:03:54
she where she's required to help or
01:03:56
>> um Yeah, mostly. Like I mean,
01:03:58
>> you're feeling independent though, eh?
01:04:00
>> Pretty much like I am now. Um only since
01:04:03
sort of 2019.
01:04:05
>> Mhm.
01:04:05
>> Um when I finally got on to ACC and
01:04:08
started getting a driver. Um, so I can
01:04:12
drive Masia around Cambridge and stuff
01:04:14
like that, which is all good for me cuz
01:04:16
it, you know, gives me some independence
01:04:17
again. And
01:04:18
>> I was I've seen those cars. What is it?
01:04:19
What's driving my stasis? Ah,
01:04:20
>> it's just a driving service,
01:04:21
>> right? So it's like Uber for
01:04:24
>> Uber for people with like disabilities.
01:04:27
>> Um, just anyone really, but it's like
01:04:29
they've got ACC contracts. So um yeah,
01:04:33
they take people to whatever really. Um
01:04:36
because I'm permanent, they're on on for
01:04:39
me to drive me around cuz
01:04:41
>> you know uh the only thing I can't
01:04:43
really do is drive. So
01:04:46
um in terms of yeah, independence and
01:04:48
stuff. So um that's the biggest barrier
01:04:51
to me doing anything is being able to
01:04:52
get there. So
01:04:54
>> yeah, but um yeah, ACC paid for that,
01:04:57
which is good.
01:04:59
>> But it was definitely a [ __ ] fight
01:05:01
getting onto it. So
01:05:03
>> yeah, I've heard you better with Yes. So
01:05:04
yeah. So you do you work now?
01:05:07
>> No.
01:05:08
>> So you're unable to work or there's
01:05:10
>> Wow.
01:05:10
>> Is there anything you you you could do
01:05:11
or you want to do?
01:05:12
>> That's the thing. I don't really know,
01:05:14
but I am on ACC for the vision loss
01:05:17
because Yeah. I like I'm not able to
01:05:19
drive. I'm not able to do the stuff that
01:05:21
I would do. Um don't know how much I'm
01:05:24
allowed to say, but I can't really do
01:05:26
anything to get me into another field. M
01:05:28
>> um and it's hard because um
01:05:33
like if I do anything I get ACC taken
01:05:36
off me. So like I can earn like I get
01:05:39
80% of what I used to earn when I was 19
01:05:42
which
01:05:43
>> Oh [ __ ] What was that
01:05:44
>> back then? I was on 1350 an hour which
01:05:46
was minimum wage and uh the inflation
01:05:49
does not Oh sorry it doesn't keep up
01:05:52
with inflation at all. So, I'm not even
01:05:54
in the same place, let alone progressing
01:05:57
or anything like that. So, um yeah,
01:06:01
that's that's another story in itself.
01:06:03
But, uh
01:06:03
>> yeah,
01:06:04
>> it's a hard one cuz like given my
01:06:05
situation, the uh you know, my my
01:06:08
potential for earning was actually taken
01:06:09
away from me.
01:06:11
>> Um
01:06:13
>> you know, didn't get the career
01:06:14
progression or or anything like that
01:06:16
because yeah, was out of my hands
01:06:18
really. So um that's where ACC are quite
01:06:23
difficult. So yeah.
01:06:25
>> Yeah. What do you want to do?
01:06:28
>> Um
01:06:30
I don't really know in terms of like a
01:06:32
full-on career. Like I thought of going
01:06:35
into
01:06:36
psychology for a bit. So I did a bit of
01:06:38
study and didn't end up finishing it.
01:06:40
Studying is pretty bloody hard when
01:06:41
you're blind. So um but I also studied
01:06:44
political science for a while. Um I
01:06:47
still I have quite an interest in
01:06:48
politics. Um there's you know being in
01:06:52
the system like I have been there's many
01:06:54
things that have been highlighted to me
01:06:55
that need need to change.
01:06:57
>> Um
01:06:59
I do like working with dogs.
01:07:03
Um so I don't know. I'm trying to figure
01:07:05
out how to piece it all together or what
01:07:07
avenue to take. But
01:07:09
>> um time will tell I suppose. But I mean
01:07:12
>> the other point is I don't really know
01:07:14
how to get into some stuff
01:07:17
>> like politics or anything like that or
01:07:19
whatever. But um I also
01:07:23
I'd like to do
01:07:26
like I'd like to help people. That's
01:07:28
that's the biggest thing I'd like to
01:07:30
>> do like speaking, motivational speaking,
01:07:32
whatever. Tell tell sto tell my story.
01:07:35
Um sort of mindset coaching, life
01:07:38
coaching, something like that. I'm I'm
01:07:39
not really sure. I don't really know how
01:07:41
to
01:07:43
>> get on that path.
01:07:44
>> Yeah.
01:07:44
>> Um I've done some speaking stuff in the
01:07:46
past, just little gigs and stuff here
01:07:48
and there, but like I don't know how it
01:07:49
all works legally with like pay and
01:07:52
stuff like that. So, it's it's a hard
01:07:54
one like
01:07:56
>> Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's just not
01:07:58
knowing that sort of area, but like I'd
01:08:00
like to do something worthwhile like um
01:08:03
meaningful. biggest thing is helping
01:08:05
people and being fulfilled and um just
01:08:08
doing something important that may you
01:08:11
know may save someone's life one day or
01:08:13
may may help them better their life or
01:08:16
even just feel better. So
01:08:18
>> um yeah there's many things I suppose I
01:08:21
could do but yeah
01:08:22
>> well I I I would say you can do you can
01:08:25
do just about anything you want to do.
01:08:27
You need to figure it out figure out
01:08:28
what it is first and then just and then
01:08:30
go for it. I suppose it's the hard bit
01:08:31
of the puzzle. Yeah,
01:08:32
>> I suppose it's just like, you know, you
01:08:34
have this
01:08:35
>> you have this vision of how you think
01:08:36
your life's going to plan out and then
01:08:38
something happens, you know, life kicks
01:08:40
you in the ass and suddenly it's not
01:08:42
going to look that way anymore and then
01:08:43
it's figuring out how this new direction
01:08:45
is going to look.
01:08:46
>> Yeah. Exactly. And
01:08:47
>> and obviously that's still a piece of
01:08:48
the puzzle that you're working your way
01:08:50
through.
01:08:50
>> Yeah. So, my original thought was like
01:08:52
to to do the sport stuff and hopefully
01:08:55
achieve what I was aiming for there and
01:08:57
then it might
01:08:58
>> sort of set me up for the next part.
01:09:01
>> Yeah. piece pieces of the puzzle fall
01:09:03
into place.
01:09:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. But I haven't managed to do
01:09:05
what I wanted to in that area yet. So, I
01:09:07
sort of I've hit a roadblock and I've
01:09:09
just um I've been trying to navigate
01:09:11
that for a few years. So,
01:09:13
>> um but yeah, in terms of the speaking
01:09:14
and you know uh
01:09:18
yeah, motivational stuff or personal
01:09:21
coaching sort of thing. I don't know.
01:09:22
I'd love to do that in some some regard,
01:09:24
but then I suppose I don't know how do I
01:09:27
advertise it to start getting gigs to to
01:09:29
go and do speaking stuff or whatever,
01:09:32
but um certainly open and keen to do it.
01:09:36
It's just uh starting to get the foot in
01:09:38
the door, I guess.
01:09:39
>> Yeah.
01:09:40
>> Yeah. We haven't even talked about the
01:09:41
sport stuff. Let's talk about that for a
01:09:43
little bit. So, um
01:09:44
>> parasycling for anyone that can't uh
01:09:47
visualize what it is. What What is it
01:09:48
like a tandem bike on the Valadrome?
01:09:50
>> Uh for me it is. Yeah. But parasycling
01:09:53
uh covers most all disabilities I guess.
01:09:56
Um
01:09:57
>> so you say for me it is why why because
01:10:00
you're
01:10:00
>> on the tandem.
01:10:01
>> Yeah.
01:10:01
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:10:02
>> Because because you don't have enough
01:10:03
vision to do it.
01:10:04
>> Yeah. Solo. Yeah. I could ride it by
01:10:06
myself but not Well.
01:10:08
>> Okay.
01:10:08
>> Um but
01:10:09
>> So there's two of you and the other
01:10:11
person's called a pilot.
01:10:12
>> Yeah.
01:10:12
>> So does the other person pedal?
01:10:14
>> Yeah. Yeah. [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Um so the
01:10:17
tandemss are a team sport essentially.
01:10:19
Um, and the dude on the front has to be
01:10:21
or the chick on the front for the girls
01:10:22
tandem, they've got to be really good as
01:10:24
well.
01:10:25
>> Um, you know, the tandemss are as fast
01:10:27
as the able body guys. So, uh, yeah,
01:10:30
they're they're very it's a very hard
01:10:32
division.
01:10:33
>> Um, but the parasycling encompasses or
01:10:36
covers um people like in wheelchairs as
01:10:41
well or that that'll be the the hand
01:10:43
cycle. So, their category is H. Um the C
01:10:47
categories cover there's C1 2 3 4 and 5.
01:10:51
Uh C1 being the like most disabled and
01:10:54
C5 being the least disabled. But that
01:10:57
encompasses like um like amputees or
01:11:01
people um that have like MS. Um there's
01:11:06
sort of that's it's quite a complicated
01:11:08
category. I don't really understand it
01:11:10
exactly but
01:11:11
>> Yeah. There's so many variables e
01:11:12
>> Yeah. Yeah. And they all get classified.
01:11:14
So
01:11:15
>> they um have to see an actual classifier
01:11:18
and doctor or whatever it is and they
01:11:20
have to
01:11:20
>> I don't know they go through movements
01:11:22
and all that sort of stuff. Like for me
01:11:24
I just have to eye test. So it's a
01:11:26
little bit different for me but uh
01:11:28
>> they don't make you wear um like some
01:11:30
sort of like like a mask or anything so
01:11:32
your eyes are covered.
01:11:33
>> N
01:11:34
sports, don't they?
01:11:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. I don't quite know how that
01:11:37
works but um like in
01:11:41
like for the tandem there's only one
01:11:43
category, right? It's just you're on the
01:11:44
tandem. That's that's pretty much it.
01:11:46
But some people may be totally blind and
01:11:48
some may be partially like me.
01:11:50
>> Um but like for say athletics there's
01:11:56
like you're classified as a one, two or
01:11:57
three um was BBI, so blind, visually
01:12:00
impaired. Um one, two, or three. One was
01:12:02
totally blind and three was like kind of
01:12:05
blind I suppose. Um so but yeah, in
01:12:08
athletics and stuff like that, they
01:12:10
actually have their separate categories,
01:12:11
I think. Right. But I could be wrong
01:12:13
there. I'm not in that sport. So
01:12:15
>> So what what's it like um you like going
01:12:18
around a Valad drive at what 70ks an
01:12:21
hour?
01:12:21
>> Yeah, it's sort of the top speed we got
01:12:22
up to 200. Um
01:12:24
>> yeah, what's it like going going around
01:12:25
a val 70ks an hour with only 5% vision?
01:12:28
>> Um is is it like the most exhilarating
01:12:30
thing ever? Like you never felt more
01:12:32
alive or are you just [ __ ] yourself?
01:12:33
>> Uh it's a bit of both, but I mean I was
01:12:35
always a bit of a thrill seeker, you
01:12:37
know. That's sort of what appealed to me
01:12:38
was the speed and
01:12:40
>> uh doing something that's could be a bit
01:12:42
gnarly, you know. Um luckily we haven't
01:12:44
come off on the track, but if you do,
01:12:45
you get pretty pretty minced up. Um
01:12:49
yeah. Uh it's I don't know. I sort of
01:12:53
I'm holding the bars and pretty much all
01:12:55
I see is my pilot's back and like the
01:12:57
top tube on the bike. Um and just what's
01:13:00
directly below me. I don't really see
01:13:01
too much else. So
01:13:02
>> Well, I suppose the steering aspect is
01:13:04
the pilot's job, right?
01:13:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. Um how important is is that
01:13:08
relationship like the level of trust
01:13:09
there like um and the level of
01:13:11
communication involved between you and
01:13:12
the pilot?
01:13:13
>> It's pretty important like you got to I
01:13:15
mean for the team aspect of things like
01:13:17
you if you get to the level that we did
01:13:19
you've got to travel with them and
01:13:21
>> um you know room with them and all that
01:13:23
sort of stuff. So you've got to get on
01:13:24
pretty well. Um and lucky for me with
01:13:26
with Jackson who was my pilot. Um oh I
01:13:29
told him I'd give him a plug. He's he's
01:13:32
uh he's doing really well for himself
01:13:34
now. Um Jackson Ogle um is he's got a
01:13:37
company called CL Fence Painting and
01:13:39
he's yeah really into his business stuff
01:13:41
and and doing really well with that. So
01:13:43
if anyone needs fences painted, man, go
01:13:45
to CL Fence Painting on Instagram.
01:13:48
>> Yeah. So you heard it on um the Mitch
01:13:50
episode of the Dom Harvey podcast and
01:13:52
you'll get 50% discount.
01:13:54
>> I can't commit to that, but he's he does
01:13:57
a good job and he's he's really into it.
01:13:59
E so um he's done he's done bloody good.
01:14:02
Um but yeah, we we get on pretty good
01:14:04
and um yeah, he's still at my he came to
01:14:06
my wedding and stuff like that. And um
01:14:09
he's been trying to help me a bit too
01:14:10
cuz he's quite business orientated and
01:14:12
uh he's a really ambitious person. So
01:14:16
like when I first met him, he was only
01:14:18
like 19, 18, 19. And he like straight
01:14:21
away he was just like you could tell
01:14:23
like business mindset and he just
01:14:25
straight away had this figure in his
01:14:26
head of what he wanted to earn each year
01:14:28
to be like successful as such. like that
01:14:31
was his goal and he's, you know, he's I
01:14:33
think he's smashing that. So
01:14:35
>> awesome.
01:14:35
>> But yeah, for a 19year-old to say that I
01:14:37
was like, "Shit, man." Like there's a
01:14:39
big difference between him and me when I
01:14:40
was 19.
01:14:42
>> There's different levels to the game,
01:14:43
eh? Like people working at different
01:14:44
speeds.
01:14:45
>> Yeah.
01:14:45
>> So you must have been quite good at the
01:14:47
cycling. Eh, so two years after starting
01:14:49
um that's when you compete at a national
01:14:51
level.
01:14:52
>> Um Oh, like you just you just ride
01:14:55
nationals, I guess. You just apply and
01:14:57
you get in. Um, it was definitely a a
01:15:00
process. Uh,
01:15:04
>> yeah. I don't know. It's It's hard
01:15:05
because on the tandem you got to be
01:15:09
Yeah. like a team, I guess, you know?
01:15:10
So,
01:15:11
>> uh, but like the opportunity to train
01:15:14
and stuff like that is always a bit
01:15:16
harder. Um, for me now, I'm actually set
01:15:19
up a lot better than I was when we made
01:15:20
it to world champs in 2019. Um
01:15:24
>> but yeah, for a few years there it was
01:15:27
pretty slow going I suppose.
01:15:30
>> Um plus I had some more health things
01:15:33
going on myself just cuz I wasn't
01:15:35
handling the training to start with cuz
01:15:37
you know my my history and stuff like
01:15:39
that and I was getting sick all the time
01:15:41
and um ended up getting my tonsils out
01:15:43
because they were sort of dead from
01:15:45
radiation
01:15:46
>> um cuz it was that exact same area. M
01:15:49
>> um but yeah, it was a bit of a rocky
01:15:50
road and then the end on mid 2018 I got
01:15:54
back into it cuz I'd had a bit of time
01:15:56
off to get all my tonsils out and all
01:15:57
that sort of stuff. Um
01:16:00
and uh yeah, then I shacked up with
01:16:02
Jackson and things moved pretty quick
01:16:04
from there because we we jelled and he
01:16:07
was an absolute beast himself. So, um
01:16:10
yeah, we we cracked it pretty fast and
01:16:14
uh
01:16:15
>> yeah, got to go to world champs in 2019
01:16:17
and 2020 and um got top eight and only
01:16:21
eighth place. We didn't get any higher
01:16:23
than that, but still top eight, you
01:16:24
know. So, um but for being eighth in the
01:16:27
world was pretty cool. So,
01:16:29
>> you you used the word purpose before.
01:16:30
Did um is that what paras parasycling
01:16:33
gave to you? A bit of purpose, bit of
01:16:35
meaning, a reason to get out of bed.
01:16:36
>> Yeah, for sure. it was like a target to
01:16:38
work towards, you know, so you sort of
01:16:39
know where you're going. Um especially
01:16:41
once you actually get put in that team
01:16:43
or you've hit the standard or whatever
01:16:44
it may be because it's a bit more
01:16:46
concrete
01:16:47
>> rather than sort of still up in the air.
01:16:49
>> Yeah.
01:16:49
>> But uh
01:16:50
>> yeah, it was cool working towards a goal
01:16:53
with Jackson as well cuz we both had
01:16:55
that same goal.
01:16:56
>> Um we did Yeah. did pretty awesome.
01:16:59
Pretty happy with what we did. Like the
01:17:01
competitive side of me was like it's not
01:17:03
high enough. I want to get better.
01:17:04
>> But like I want the medals. That was my
01:17:06
original goal, but I mean I can still
01:17:08
say I've been top eight in the world at
01:17:10
world champs, you know. So,
01:17:12
>> um still achievement.
01:17:13
>> What's that moment like when when you
01:17:16
you know, you're representing your
01:17:17
country for the first time?
01:17:18
>> Um for me, I I was
01:17:22
I suppose like when we were on the bike
01:17:24
warming up sort of the day of the race
01:17:26
or the No, it's the day before. The
01:17:29
first time I put the actual New Zealand
01:17:30
skin suit on, um I was sort of sitting
01:17:33
there and this uh I know I said earlier
01:17:36
I didn't cry, but I actually had a tear
01:17:38
in my eye this day. But uh I was uh I
01:17:40
was looking up and I was looking up cuz
01:17:42
my I was I was speaking to my granddad
01:17:45
and uh my dad my dad's passed away as
01:17:48
well. Um
01:17:51
yeah, kind of just dang I [ __ ] made
01:17:53
it. I'm doing it, you know. Uh, so
01:17:57
yeah, that was that was a bit of a
01:17:59
surreal moment. Um, but then that you
01:18:02
switch back in pretty quick going, "Oh,
01:18:03
[ __ ] I'm going to die in a second." Cuz
01:18:04
those kilos hurt, man. They they kill
01:18:07
you. E. So
01:18:08
>> um, yeah. But yeah, that was that little
01:18:10
little somber moment of of Yeah. looking
01:18:13
up. And
01:18:14
>> do you think it was even more special um
01:18:16
because of the journey and the adversity
01:18:17
you've overcome?
01:18:18
>> Yeah, pretty much. Um, it was sort of,
01:18:23
>> how do you say it? It was like it was
01:18:26
surreal, but it was sort of like
01:18:31
the most sort of relaxing feeling of
01:18:34
like I knew I'd do it. Um I said I'd get
01:18:37
here and it's sort of just like I I was
01:18:41
going to do it. I sort of So it wasn't
01:18:43
like a surprise as such.
01:18:45
>> Um but it was still surreal if that
01:18:46
makes sense. No.
01:18:49
>> Yeah.
01:18:50
>> Mitch from uh 15 years ago, 2010. Mitch
01:18:54
before before the before getting sick.
01:18:57
What would what would he make of the guy
01:18:59
sitting in front of me now?
01:19:00
>> Um I mean you'd think
01:19:03
he's a different person, I suppose.
01:19:06
>> Um
01:19:09
yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you'd be quite
01:19:12
surprised, that's for sure. Would
01:19:13
>> he be proud of you?
01:19:14
>> Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Um,
01:19:18
>> yeah, definitely definitely praise it.
01:19:21
>> Uh, come a long way. That's for sure.
01:19:24
>> And if you could go back now and have 5
01:19:27
minutes with that 16, 17 year old
01:19:29
version of yourself, the one that's
01:19:31
waking up dizzy, vomiting, scared, but
01:19:34
sort of being dismissed by people. What
01:19:36
would you say to him?
01:19:38
>> Get a second opinion.
01:19:40
>> Yeah, pretty much, man. Um,
01:19:42
>> no, no, no. More more holistically than
01:19:44
that, though. like like what would you
01:19:46
say? Would you tell them everything's
01:19:47
going to be okay?
01:19:48
>> Yeah, just Yeah, I mean you sort of um
01:19:53
stop being a [ __ ] is one of them. Um
01:19:56
pull your head pull your head out, you
01:19:57
know, but uh just yeah, just stick to
01:20:00
your guns. Go back and get you get that
01:20:02
second opinion and you know
01:20:05
>> um it's yeah, not going to be easy, but
01:20:08
you can do it. So
01:20:10
yeah,
01:20:11
>> I think that's probably the a good
01:20:12
takeaway for anyone listening to this.
01:20:14
Hey, you know, be be your own doctor. Do
01:20:17
your own research. Do your own study. If
01:20:19
you feel like something's not right and
01:20:21
you've been you've been told everything
01:20:22
is all right, keep trying. Keep pushing.
01:20:25
>> Yeah. That I mean the the other side of
01:20:27
that too is like there's too many Google
01:20:29
doctors these days you hear about,
01:20:31
right? Like you've got to do
01:20:32
>> Oh, 100%. GPT doctors.
01:20:34
>> Oh, exactly. Yeah. Do do proper
01:20:36
research. Um but if you've got a hint of
01:20:38
a feeling of something, don't just take
01:20:41
someone else's word for it. Do your own
01:20:43
research. which is plenty of information
01:20:44
available these days. So,
01:20:46
>> um
01:20:48
>> yeah, definitely yeah, check your
01:20:50
sources, but there's definitely enough
01:20:52
out there to do some proper research and
01:20:55
um you know, don't just take the
01:20:57
doctor's word for it, man. You don't
01:20:59
want to be unnecessarily
01:21:02
rude or anything like that, but if you
01:21:05
feel like you're being dismissed, argue.
01:21:08
You you you have to be your own best
01:21:10
advocate. That's that's the only way to
01:21:11
say it. Um, at the end of the day, it's
01:21:14
your life.
01:21:16
>> So, you know, don't neglect it as such.
01:21:20
Just just fight for yourself because
01:21:23
>> you're the only one who can do it. So,
01:21:25
>> yeah, I love that. I had um Honey Hammy
01:21:27
Smiler on the podcast. She's like a a
01:21:29
rugby and rugby league commentator now,
01:21:31
like one of the goats of New Zealand
01:21:33
sport.
01:21:33
>> She lost her mom to cancer. her her wife
01:21:36
um is living with stage four cancer and
01:21:38
and Honey's just become like a like a
01:21:41
cancer expert. Like she reads what she
01:21:43
can, she studies what she can.
01:21:45
>> Um like she she's Yeah. She's she
01:21:47
understands um that the oncologist. Are
01:21:50
they the cancer people?
01:21:52
>> Yeah. She understands that the for the
01:21:54
oncologist like her wife is only one of
01:21:56
however many patients.
01:21:58
>> So she's got to be the biggest advocate
01:21:59
she can be. And I find that super
01:22:01
inspiring.
01:22:02
>> Exactly. Yeah. And that's the that's the
01:22:04
thing like um if you've got some some
01:22:08
legitimate information to share and
01:22:11
question and stuff like that then you'll
01:22:13
probably open up an avenue that they may
01:22:14
not have thought of because like you
01:22:16
said they're seeing shitloads of people
01:22:18
every day right
01:22:20
>> um and thinking of different cases and
01:22:21
all that sort of stuff. So yeah, just
01:22:23
advocating for yourself and and having
01:22:26
your own knowledge is pretty important.
01:22:27
So
01:22:28
>> yeah, be a pain in the ass. Be the be
01:22:29
the squeaky wheel that gets the oil.
01:22:31
>> Exactly. And it's like
01:22:33
they might appear mad when you're doing
01:22:36
it, but it's pretty important to get it
01:22:38
done, you know? So,
01:22:39
>> well, it might actually be a matter of
01:22:40
life and death.
01:22:41
>> Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So, you know,
01:22:44
short-term pain for long-term gain,
01:22:46
right?
01:22:47
>> What do you still struggle with today
01:22:48
that people probably assume you've
01:22:50
already overcome?
01:22:51
>> Um,
01:22:53
that's a good question. Um,
01:23:00
I really don't know to be honest. Um,
01:23:04
probably one relevant one is like being
01:23:07
in crowded situations.
01:23:09
Not too bad, but like
01:23:11
>> I don't like it.
01:23:13
>> Um, even just walking up the street to
01:23:16
be honest, it's pretty frustrating. Um,
01:23:18
>> in what way?
01:23:19
>> Yeah. Oh, just people. Like I know I
01:23:22
don't look blind and all that but just
01:23:24
like the general manners of people in
01:23:26
public like barely any people move for
01:23:28
people you know. Um my reference to this
01:23:31
is I got to go to Japan in 2017
01:23:34
um for cycling and man their their
01:23:37
society is insane. They're insanely
01:23:39
cool. um they're so respectful and you
01:23:43
know walking up the street everyone I
01:23:46
don't know how they bloody how they do
01:23:47
it but they've got their head down or
01:23:48
whatever and they're just all zigzagging
01:23:49
for everyone and you know you say hi to
01:23:52
people there and they're so friendly.
01:23:54
>> Um but just the you know walking
01:23:56
anywhere here you're trying to move and
01:23:58
you know I can still see a bit so I'm
01:24:00
still looking out and trying to move out
01:24:01
of the way but people just walk straight
01:24:03
at you
01:24:03
>> and it's that is frustrating. I can't
01:24:06
>> I can't get past that. that annoys me,
01:24:08
you know,
01:24:09
>> just a bit of
01:24:11
um
01:24:13
what do you call it?
01:24:15
I can't think of the word, but just
01:24:17
being, you know, moving out of people's
01:24:18
way and just giving people a smile and a
01:24:20
wave or whatever and just be friendly.
01:24:22
There's no need trying to put your
01:24:23
shoulders back and act staunch or
01:24:24
something, you know? So,
01:24:26
>> yeah.
01:24:28
>> Um, what do you like with vulnerability?
01:24:30
You've got Lucy. Can can you talk to her
01:24:33
about like what you're feeling? Like if
01:24:34
you're having a [ __ ] day, like do you
01:24:36
sort of keep it to yourself or are you
01:24:37
are you good at like chatting to her
01:24:39
about it or you got some good friends
01:24:40
that you can talk to about how you're
01:24:41
really feeling?
01:24:42
>> Um yeah, I definitely do. Um me
01:24:44
personally, I talk about it a little
01:24:46
bit, but I'm kind of old school as well.
01:24:48
>> Um I sort of
01:24:51
I do keep stuff to myself, but like I
01:24:54
know it's it's good to talk and all that
01:24:56
sort of stuff. Um but I'm going to get
01:24:59
given [ __ ] Hey, inside joke saying all
01:25:01
that sort of stuff. Uh Lucy will get it.
01:25:04
Um, I don't know. Don't want to get in
01:25:06
trouble, but
01:25:07
>> trouble with her.
01:25:08
>> No, no, we I I'll reference it to to to
01:25:10
clarify. But, uh, at our wedding, Bruce
01:25:12
heard her Lucy's dad made a speech and
01:25:15
we were counting how many times he said
01:25:17
all that sort of stuff.
01:25:18
>> Oh, yeah.
01:25:18
>> And all all that kind of stuff and
01:25:20
heaps, so I've been saying it a bit too
01:25:21
much. I'm not even realizing. So, it's a
01:25:23
good joke.
01:25:24
>> Um,
01:25:26
>> uh, I forgot the question. Sorry. Um,
01:25:30
oh, like just, you know, are you good at
01:25:32
the vulnerability piece?
01:25:33
>> Oh, yeah. Um, like talking about like
01:25:35
when you're when you're struggling and
01:25:36
when you're having a [ __ ] day.
01:25:37
>> Yeah. I mean, I I do sometimes. Other
01:25:39
times I just like to keep to myself and
01:25:41
I sort of pull myself out of it and
01:25:42
just, you know, do a ride on the bike or
01:25:44
whatever it is. I don't know. Um, I'll
01:25:46
talk about it if I need to,
01:25:48
>> but like I don't need to talk about
01:25:50
everything. Um, but it's definitely
01:25:52
important if if you're at that point
01:25:54
where you need to talk, go bloody talk,
01:25:56
you know? Um,
01:25:58
>> but yeah, I'm like a Yeah, I can be
01:26:01
vulnerable, but I prefer not to be. But
01:26:03
it's Yeah, needs based, you know. So,
01:26:05
>> I get it. Just when you get when things
01:26:06
get really really bad.
01:26:08
>> Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. And being
01:26:10
proactive on it is good, too, if you're
01:26:11
in that in that case. Like, I mean, I
01:26:13
openly at the moment I'm seeing a
01:26:14
psychologist as well.
01:26:16
>> Um, get a few.
01:26:17
>> I am. How long has that been going on?
01:26:22
>> I don't know, maybe 6 months.
01:26:23
>> Right. So, did did you have any therapy
01:26:26
like at the time? No,
01:26:27
>> no, no. Interesting.
01:26:28
>> No, no. So,
01:26:29
>> were you offered one?
01:26:30
>> Yep.
01:26:31
>> Yep.
01:26:31
>> Yeah. I was just like, no.
01:26:33
>> I just sort of
01:26:34
>> classic, eh?
01:26:35
>> Yeah. Just old school way. It's like,
01:26:36
no, excuse the language. [ __ ] that.
01:26:38
Like,
01:26:39
>> so why did you start seeing one now six
01:26:41
months 6 months ago?
01:26:42
>> Um, just that that roadblock of what am
01:26:45
I going to do? I'm just trying to
01:26:47
>> unpick my mind, you know, and just sort
01:26:49
of maybe get some clarity and get a
01:26:52
vision to to go in the direction I want
01:26:54
to go or finding that direction is the
01:26:56
hard part. So,
01:26:58
>> um yeah, just Yeah, he's pretty good.
01:27:02
>> Yeah. How you finding it? I I I um I I
01:27:05
put off going to therapy forever cuz I
01:27:07
was like, "Oh, [ __ ] I don't know."
01:27:09
Like, like you sit down with a stranger,
01:27:11
where do you start? like, you know, it
01:27:13
just feels awkward and then you sit down
01:27:15
and you realize they're the professional
01:27:16
and they'll just lead the conversation
01:27:18
and it's bloody great.
01:27:19
>> Yeah.
01:27:19
>> It's like a personal trainer for your
01:27:20
head.
01:27:21
>> Yeah, pretty much. They ask one question
01:27:22
and you start spilling everything. E so
01:27:25
>> um but I mean you got to have a little
01:27:28
bit of um you got to click with them
01:27:30
too, right? Like yeah um luckily for me
01:27:32
the first one I went to I clicked with.
01:27:34
So,
01:27:35
>> um, yeah, he's he's he's pretty good
01:27:36
and, um, it's good to just have a chat
01:27:39
>> and,
01:27:40
>> you know, see what he
01:27:41
>> see what he, uh, offers and
01:27:44
>> unpicks and stuff like that. So, it's,
01:27:45
yeah, it's definitely a positive.
01:27:47
>> It's definitely not a weakness or
01:27:49
anything.
01:27:50
>> Just being proactive on it, you know,
01:27:51
but
01:27:52
>> even saying that, just cuz you're seeing
01:27:53
a psychologist doesn't mean you're
01:27:55
you're not going to have [ __ ] days.
01:27:57
>> Um, but everyone has [ __ ] days. It's
01:27:59
just part of life, isn't it? So, just
01:28:00
carry on.
01:28:01
>> Do do you have more good days than [ __ ]
01:28:02
days?
01:28:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah,
01:28:04
100%. Um but yeah, just being realistic,
01:28:09
right? Nothing's perfect all the time.
01:28:10
So,
01:28:11
>> um you just got to take it as it comes
01:28:13
and you know, know that you'll you'll
01:28:15
get through it cuz you do.
01:28:17
>> Yeah. And you got to have the bad days
01:28:18
to appreciate the good ones.
01:28:19
>> Yeah, exactly.
01:28:20
>> Um do you have any regrets?
01:28:23
>> Um
01:28:27
yes and no. I suppose like I regret sort
01:28:30
of doing the stuff I did in my later
01:28:32
teen years, but at the same time
01:28:34
everything still makes you who you are
01:28:35
today.
01:28:36
>> Why? What do you regret? How bad were
01:28:38
you?
01:28:39
>> From what you've explained, it sounds
01:28:40
like you were pretty pretty normal and
01:28:41
standard.
01:28:42
>> Yeah, pretty normal and standard, but
01:28:43
just for me it was just sort of away
01:28:45
from my beliefs or my my morals, you
01:28:47
know, um or my stances, I should say, on
01:28:50
certain things.
01:28:51
>> Um had fun doing it, don't get me wrong.
01:28:55
Um you know, if any of the boys listen
01:28:57
to this, they'll have a laugh at that.
01:28:58
But uh you know
01:29:01
um yeah I I don't know it just sort of
01:29:04
it took me down the wrong path
01:29:07
basically. So but yeah like I said it
01:29:09
all everything adds into who you are
01:29:11
today right so it's it's kind of a
01:29:13
positive and a negative but um yeah in
01:29:17
terms of regrets not not really but you
01:29:21
know
01:29:22
>> some things are just better for you than
01:29:24
others I suppose. But yeah,
01:29:28
>> um what do you think your best and worst
01:29:30
habits are?
01:29:31
>> Um
01:29:33
Lucy would definitely say my worst habit
01:29:34
is procrastinating. Um
01:29:37
but uh my best habit is I'm stubborn and
01:29:41
consistent. Even if I hate it, like I'll
01:29:43
keep doing it. Um which is like the love
01:29:46
hate with training or whatever, I still
01:29:47
stick to it because I have to.
01:29:49
>> Um for my own sanity, if I don't do it,
01:29:52
I'm actually a lot worse off, even if I
01:29:53
hated doing it to start with. M um but
01:29:57
yeah, my worst habit is yeah, probably
01:30:00
my procrastinating. Sometimes I I'll sit
01:30:02
there and I I sort of stir in my head
01:30:04
rather than being concise and direct.
01:30:05
I'm like, [ __ ] I don't know. I don't
01:30:07
know. You know, and I sort of
01:30:09
>> Yeah, I'm a bit lack decisiveness
01:30:11
sometimes. So,
01:30:12
>> yeah, it seems like the impression I've
01:30:14
got today is there's still some [ __ ] to
01:30:15
figure out.
01:30:16
>> Yeah, exactly.
01:30:17
>> But I think that's the same for most of
01:30:18
us to be fair.
01:30:19
>> Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's sort of um I
01:30:21
mean life's complicated for everyone,
01:30:23
isn't it? But, uh, like for me, I
01:30:25
suppose I just find
01:30:28
if I could still see, it would be a lot
01:30:30
easier because I'd
01:30:31
>> of course
01:30:31
>> just be able to just do it, you know.
01:30:33
Um,
01:30:35
>> so yeah, I I don't know. Just see what
01:30:38
opportunities can possibly arise in the
01:30:40
future and
01:30:42
>> see what directions pop up.
01:30:44
>> But yeah,
01:30:46
>> um, if you had to find something
01:30:48
something good that's come from all of
01:30:50
this, Yeah. what would it be?
01:30:53
Um,
01:30:54
>> it's taken away your eyesight, but has
01:30:56
it has it has it given anything good?
01:30:58
>> Something good is that
01:31:01
it's definitely shown me that I am very
01:31:05
resilient and you know, although it
01:31:09
might suck for a while, you just, you
01:31:11
know, the storm always clears, right?
01:31:13
>> Um, I can get through anything. I know I
01:31:14
can. Um,
01:31:17
you know, things will challenge you. It
01:31:19
might come across cocky, but it's not
01:31:20
going to stop me. it's not going to beat
01:31:22
me. Um, I will win pretty much. Um, and
01:31:26
that's sort of my tattoo on my arm I got
01:31:29
because of all my stuff. So, it's uh
01:31:32
kind of tells the story with the storm
01:31:33
clouds clearing and the sunshine coming
01:31:35
through. Um, blazes on the back of there
01:31:38
as well, if you can see that.
01:31:39
>> Oh, I can.
01:31:40
>> Yeah, I got him on there cuz it was like
01:31:41
he's part of it, you know.
01:31:42
>> And what's the text? God always
01:31:44
>> God always has something for you. Um,
01:31:48
[ __ ] How's it go? God always has
01:31:50
something for you. A light for every
01:31:53
like a key for every problem, a light
01:31:55
for every shadow, a relief for every
01:31:57
sorrow, and a plan for every tomorrow.
01:32:00
>> Um except one one funny thing is the
01:32:02
tattoo is actually writ place instead of
01:32:04
plan. So it says place for every
01:32:07
tomorrow, but it's like [ __ ] hell,
01:32:09
man. It was written out clearly and they
01:32:11
got the word wrong. So it still fits,
01:32:13
but like I know it's different, you
01:32:14
know?
01:32:15
>> Did you get a discount?
01:32:16
>> Nah. No.
01:32:17
>> What the [ __ ] One job. I know it was
01:32:19
terrible. Like I drew it all up myself
01:32:22
and stuff and like yeah I had [ __ ]
01:32:23
eyesight but it definitely said plan. Um
01:32:26
and like I got it took a while to do and
01:32:28
I got the f I got the words done first
01:32:31
>> and I was at my mate's uh brother's
01:32:34
birthday thing later that night and this
01:32:36
is in 2014 and um everyone was reading
01:32:40
it and someone read out place for every
01:32:42
tomorrow's like no no it says plan and
01:32:44
they're like nah bro it says place. I'm
01:32:46
like, "Oh, fuck." Like,
01:32:48
>> but you you got done dirty by the
01:32:50
doctor.
01:32:51
>> I know.
01:32:51
>> And by the tattoo artist.
01:32:52
>> I know. At least the tattoo artist
01:32:54
sounds funny, right? But
01:32:57
>> but um yeah, it's a good laugh. At least
01:32:59
it still fits. But I still say a plan
01:33:00
for every tomorrow cuz that's what it's
01:33:01
supposed to be. So,
01:33:03
>> you know,
01:33:04
>> you've been through a lot of [ __ ] Are
01:33:06
you proud of yourself?
01:33:07
>> Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I'd be lying if I say I
01:33:09
wasn't. I'm um I have very high
01:33:11
expectations of myself. Um, which is why
01:33:14
I'm sort of not quite content with not
01:33:17
achieving what I wanted to yet. Um, I
01:33:20
say yet because I'm still dabbling and
01:33:22
hopefully getting back there, but it's
01:33:24
just the goalpost keep shifting so it's
01:33:27
a little bit hard, but I mean I know I
01:33:29
can't do that forever either. So, um,
01:33:33
yeah, we just got to take that as it
01:33:34
comes and see see what happens. But the
01:33:37
most frustrating thing there is that
01:33:38
when I went to Worlds with Jackson, um
01:33:43
I was not probably the best prepared. Um
01:33:46
I'm a lot better prepared now and I'm a
01:33:48
lot stronger. I'm faster and all that
01:33:50
sort of stuff. So that's a bit of a you
01:33:52
can't say what if, but like um
01:33:57
the best version of me is now. Um so I
01:34:00
can definitely make it again, but it's
01:34:01
just everything needs to align. Yeah.
01:34:03
>> So, it's uh yeah, we'll see see what
01:34:05
happens there. But, um still proud of
01:34:08
myself for what I've done.
01:34:10
>> Yeah. Good on you.
01:34:10
>> Um but yeah, I just want to keep it
01:34:12
going and do something important really.
01:34:15
>> So, it's figuring out what what that is.
01:34:18
What's going to bring you that joy?
01:34:19
>> Exactly. Um and yeah, I mean that would
01:34:22
definitely be around helping people in
01:34:23
some some uh aspect, but
01:34:27
>> um yeah, the speaking and all that.
01:34:29
Hopefully I could, you know, I can talk
01:34:30
a bit of [ __ ] sometimes. So hopefully I
01:34:32
can spin a good a good presentation and,
01:34:35
you know, help people in that way or
01:34:37
talk about adversities and
01:34:39
>> yeah,
01:34:40
>> um maybe ways I got through things, you
01:34:43
know, everyone's different
01:34:45
>> but uh also everyone, you know,
01:34:48
everyone's Everest is different, right?
01:34:50
What might be huge to me or to you might
01:34:53
be tiny to me. Um but in terms of
01:34:58
um relevance that might be the biggest
01:35:00
thing that person's gone through. So
01:35:02
it's still huge to them. So
01:35:05
>> yeah, you don't want to compare.
01:35:06
>> Yeah. You can't compare. Yeah. Exactly.
01:35:08
So
01:35:08
>> I mean if you compare, you can always
01:35:10
find some someone that's better off, but
01:35:12
you can also find someone that's worse
01:35:13
off.
01:35:14
>> Yeah.
01:35:14
>> No one's No one's doing the same.
01:35:16
>> Exactly.
01:35:16
>> You could even um if you want to help
01:35:18
people, you could set up a um a spelling
01:35:19
school for tattoo artists.
01:35:22
>> Yeah. Exactly. taking the advice from a
01:35:24
blind guy.
01:35:25
>> Well, Mitch Wilson, it's been really
01:35:27
nice connecting today. Thanks for coming
01:35:28
on the podcast. Have you enjoyed
01:35:30
yourself?
01:35:30
>> Yeah, man. I'm just uh very appreciative
01:35:32
of um uh getting the opportunity and you
01:35:35
know, you've been willing to to hear my
01:35:37
story and you given me a platform and
01:35:38
it's uh really awesome. So, thank you
01:35:40
very much.
01:35:41
>> I appreciate you reaching out. It's been
01:35:42
good to connect today.
01:35:43
>> Yeah, mate. Thank you very much for
01:35:44
that. Eh,
01:35:45
>> cheers, mate. And good luck for whatever
01:35:46
the future may bring.
01:35:47
>> Yeah, you too. And um just uh you know
01:35:50
from back in the year I just sto those
01:35:52
uh nude run days are over right
01:35:54
>> they are long gone 52 now. Nobody nobody
01:35:59
>> nobody ever deserves to see that.
01:36:00
>> Yeah. None of that streaking stuff mate.
01:36:04
>> Look after yourself.
01:36:05
>> Sweet ass. Thank you very much Dominic.