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hey Runners only with dime Harley
00:00:04
Runners only with dom Harvey and cam
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Jones g'day mate hello
00:00:09
mate thanks so much for coming over
00:00:11
thank you very much yes
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um so how are you I'm good yeah yeah
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yeah well you know all things can say
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I'm alive that counts for something
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doesn't it yeah oh that doesn't sound
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great oh well you know you're just
00:00:23
realistic mate you know yeah it could
00:00:25
always be better it's not you know it
00:00:27
could be worse but it could be better
00:00:28
always but you you chose this life
00:00:33
yeah I did no no there's a fine line
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between
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um
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drive and and uh insanity but uh yeah
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and I walk that tightrope very very
00:00:44
carefully actually um I I got a message
00:00:47
from um a friend of mine who you have
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worked with
00:00:51
um I'll read this out and we'll see if
00:00:53
you can guess who it is okay
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um the the second half is quite telling
00:00:58
the first half might be a little bit
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generic
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oh Cam what a truly lovely guy we were
00:01:03
also struck by his gorgeous looks lovely
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nature and professionalism and talent
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couldn't fault him any ideas
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[Laughter]
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I'll keep going then yeah uh I did do
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something silly I walked in on him as he
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was doing his diabetes and I made it so
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awkward and I wouldn't stop talking
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about it or asking him questions about
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it and then I sang him happy birthday in
00:01:32
part to shut myself up in part because I
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think it truly was his birthday anyway
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awesome guy I look forward to hearing
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the chat any idea is this is this a
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actor or is this and it's an actor
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oh come on this can't have happened more
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than once
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a lot of people walked in on me
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awkwardly and then they don't know how
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to deal with me you know doing doing my
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diabetes you know but um I can't no I
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can't okay I'll put you out of your
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misery I'm Anna Hutchison who you were
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in uh the movie I love young with
00:02:07
Netflix movies that's right yeah right
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yeah so um the the the diabetes the the
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diabetes yeah right so when were you
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diagnosed uh I was
00:02:17
I was 15 and
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um I was diagnosed I was I I was
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actually kind of cottoned onto it a
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little bit earlier than most people
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would because I I was I had a 50cc
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scooter at the time and I was doing
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wheelies on it as you do when you're 15.
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and I fell off and and I banged up my
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leg pretty bad and I got a really bad
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blood infection from that and it was and
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then I just collapsed in the shower one
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day from the blood infection I just
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thought they were pimples but you know
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blood infections so it was pretty bad
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got taken to hospital and then a
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hospital they did all the tests and and
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and they're like oh something's not
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quite right with the hba1c and might to
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come back to some more tests and
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so went back for some more tests and
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they're like oh you've got a type 1
00:03:03
diabetes so yeah it all happened from
00:03:07
there and yeah hard age to do it because
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I was you know 15 you're just starting
00:03:11
to get into
00:03:12
drinking and to girls and you know so
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and partying and all that kind of stuff
00:03:17
so it was hard it's a lot it must have
00:03:18
felt like the end of your world at that
00:03:19
I did yeah I didn't even know what it
00:03:20
was yeah so I I literally didn't even
00:03:23
know what it was I was like what is it
00:03:25
and what does this mean and blah blah
00:03:27
and does this affect me in any way and
00:03:30
and I mean it does on a daily basis
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um but yeah it was just so it just
00:03:36
solely feel you know like I was just
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like I didn't know anyone with it I
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didn't know what it was I didn't know
00:03:41
what to expect so I was just I think
00:03:43
even my parents and myself were just all
00:03:46
didn't know what to do you know I was
00:03:48
just so just learning to create a habit
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out of out of things and stay on top of
00:03:54
it but man it was a hard age to deal
00:03:56
with it and uh yeah and a lot of
00:03:58
response responsibility at that age as
00:04:00
well yeah so say you're the age you are
00:04:02
now and you get diagnosed you're like
00:04:04
okay I need to inject myself with
00:04:05
insurance these times but at 15 it's
00:04:07
like yeah [ __ ] it's a lot yeah yeah um
00:04:10
yeah that must have been that must have
00:04:12
been depressing it was yeah yeah and
00:04:14
it's and to be honest like
00:04:17
um
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it's it still is and it's still you know
00:04:21
I I've been pretty disciplined the one
00:04:24
thing I I was never in denial of it
00:04:26
which is a you know when I talked to
00:04:28
like diabetic nurses and people with
00:04:30
hustle and stuff they say a lot of the
00:04:31
problems with the young with young kids
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is that they just don't do anything
00:04:35
because they're in denial so they just
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won't inject and they just they just
00:04:39
don't want to believe that they've got
00:04:40
it and so
00:04:42
um for whatever reason I was I I never
00:04:44
did that and I was pretty like I always
00:04:46
wanted to try and stay on top of it but
00:04:48
even when you're doing your best it's
00:04:50
it's there's so much out of your control
00:04:52
you know like so much a fix it you know
00:04:54
stress affects that exercise affects it
00:04:56
like your moods if you know everything
00:04:58
can can raise or lower your blood sugars
00:05:02
and stuff so it was it was it's still
00:05:04
hard and I and that's the thing I I try
00:05:06
to be honest with people or parents when
00:05:07
they come up to me and they say hey my
00:05:09
my kids being diagnosed diabetes and
00:05:12
he's struggling with it you know what do
00:05:13
you have any advice I'm like to be
00:05:14
honest it doesn't really get easier and
00:05:17
it's still hard for me now like I still
00:05:19
struggle with it but the important thing
00:05:21
is just to do your best I guess and not
00:05:24
let it take over your life because
00:05:26
that's the other thing is like my
00:05:27
control's not perfect but at the same
00:05:29
time I I would have perfect control if I
00:05:32
lived in my house every day and just did
00:05:34
nothing and you know I [ __ ] did the
00:05:36
same thing every day not a life though
00:05:37
but there's no there's no quality of
00:05:39
life there so like you've got to find a
00:05:41
little balance but I'm also not Reckless
00:05:42
and I'm not you know out you know
00:05:44
partying every night or every weekend
00:05:46
you know and living yeah so so you've
00:05:48
just got to be a little bit smart about
00:05:50
it so what does it mean exactly in terms
00:05:53
of like diet and like what alcohol can
00:05:55
you drink or can't you drink can you
00:05:57
have clean spirits so oh yeah if I drink
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I'll usually I mean look I drink like
00:06:03
vodka is obviously the best because it's
00:06:05
the cleanest
00:06:06
um but it's not the people I think it's
00:06:09
the sugar and the alcohol that's not the
00:06:11
the issue it's the issue is that when
00:06:13
you're drinking alcohol your liver
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prioritizes
00:06:17
uh filtering the alcohol over filtering
00:06:20
food so when you're when you're getting
00:06:22
drunk your liver's now working in
00:06:24
overtime to process all that alcohol and
00:06:27
so whatever food you're having is not
00:06:28
getting processed so that's where it's
00:06:30
dangerous because you might have a high
00:06:32
reading and be like oh [ __ ] so you're
00:06:33
so you you know inject for that but
00:06:37
um actually it's a false reading because
00:06:39
once that liver stops processing the
00:06:41
alcohol at 3am it's now going to start
00:06:43
pressing the food so now you're in
00:06:44
double insulin you know so that's where
00:06:46
it gets a bit dangerous and people get
00:06:47
into trouble with you know that with
00:06:49
heavy drinking and stuff um but but diet
00:06:53
wise no I I I eat everything and
00:06:55
anything you know and I've I've got a
00:06:57
real I'm I'm big big burger and sandwich
00:06:59
person
00:07:01
um I don't I don't let it oh come on by
00:07:04
the way that's um it's not just an audio
00:07:05
podcast people can watch this as well no
00:07:07
one's going to believe that look at you
00:07:09
I do we've got leading man good looks
00:07:13
I train hard to be able to okay eat
00:07:16
there eat your sandwiches the burgers
00:07:18
but uh people say that to me they're
00:07:21
like you can't run away from a bad diet
00:07:22
and I'm like if you really [ __ ] phone
00:07:24
you actually can yeah yeah it's a
00:07:26
catch-20 too you know I train for the
00:07:28
food and I eat the food because I try
00:07:29
yeah so it's like but um but I I've done
00:07:33
a course where I'd like a carb counting
00:07:35
course so I know exactly what I can
00:07:39
kind of to my best assume how much carbs
00:07:43
you know are in a certain food and I
00:07:46
mean eating out is always hard because I
00:07:47
don't know for sure but generally I have
00:07:49
a pretty good idea of what I'm eating
00:07:50
and then I can
00:07:52
inject based on that sometimes hit or
00:07:54
miss but like yeah I've got a pretty so
00:07:57
I can eat anything really because I know
00:07:58
the carb con as long as I know the carb
00:08:00
content I'm fine what seems like you
00:08:01
coexist with it quite successfully I'll
00:08:04
try yeah how long has it been now so
00:08:05
you've got it when you were 15. yeah 32
00:08:07
now you've had it for longer than what
00:08:09
you haven't had it yeah
00:08:11
um and when when did the acting start
00:08:13
because your your first um
00:08:15
your first uh for rent acting it was a
00:08:18
um you're in rural Hawke's Bay that's
00:08:20
right a School production where you
00:08:21
played a homosexual Muslim yeah that is
00:08:23
right yeah what's what was going on it
00:08:26
my Oscar with Bugsy Malone every year
00:08:28
well we play with this yeah it was a
00:08:31
play called
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um
00:08:34
a Bridge Over Troubled Waters I think it
00:08:37
was it seems like a complex it was it
00:08:39
was of life it was a dark place it was a
00:08:41
very dark play actually so this is pre
00:08:43
50 pre-diabetes or just sort of after
00:08:46
around the same time probably around the
00:08:48
same time maybe afterwards I think I was
00:08:49
16. yeah maybe maybe a little bit into
00:08:51
it was it the leading role no they'll
00:08:54
kind of have followed a few different it
00:08:56
was kind of like that angels in America
00:08:57
kind of feel where it kind of followed a
00:08:59
few different characters and things and
00:09:01
a few different story lines it's
00:09:02
actually a beautiful play I'd love to
00:09:04
um read it again you know but um it
00:09:08
followed a few different story lines and
00:09:09
one of those storylines was this this
00:09:12
um this gay Muslim and obviously there's
00:09:15
a bit of a conundrum there with with
00:09:17
religion and the sexuality and
00:09:20
um
00:09:21
at 16 you're like you know like like you
00:09:25
say you know like most of the school
00:09:26
plays are really basically yeah every
00:09:29
year you do the musical or the you know
00:09:32
whatever so to get hit with that you
00:09:34
know when he casted and
00:09:36
hats off you know props to the Drama
00:09:38
teacher though for
00:09:40
uh doing something for doing something
00:09:41
like different because you know that
00:09:43
that is yeah that's a lot to put on the
00:09:45
kids but it also
00:09:47
those single swim and and um for
00:09:50
whatever reason I don't know why I mean
00:09:52
at that point I was only taking drama to
00:09:54
get out of other
00:09:56
subjects so I was actually drama was a
00:09:58
bit of a piss take up until that point
00:10:00
for me
00:10:01
um and it was just a way to muck around
00:10:03
and I never I've always thought drama is
00:10:05
like improv and theater Sports and
00:10:07
things and and so I never thought it was
00:10:10
a serious thing and then for whatever
00:10:12
reason it just just flipped a switch on
00:10:14
me and I went
00:10:15
um because obviously there was
00:10:16
especially as a young boy there was
00:10:18
there was a
00:10:21
um
00:10:22
to to play a homosexual it was there was
00:10:26
a there would always be a tendency to
00:10:27
play the camp or to play yeah
00:10:30
to Camp it up and be fun and try and be
00:10:33
funny and try and you know because
00:10:34
you're at high school so you're trying
00:10:35
to get laughs and all that kind of thing
00:10:36
you want your mates to know yeah there
00:10:39
was elements of homophobia or even
00:10:41
backwards to know that you're not gay
00:10:43
yeah well yeah especially my my school
00:10:45
and my town you know so
00:10:48
um but for whatever reason I just I just
00:10:50
really wanted to
00:10:52
do the character Justice I just had this
00:10:55
kind of like light bulb moment where I
00:10:56
where I really wanted to walk in those
00:10:59
shoes and present it as truthfully
00:11:03
um uh with Integrity as I could and I'm
00:11:07
not sure what spurred there but I just I
00:11:08
just did and then from there I just
00:11:11
you know I really I don't know if I
00:11:13
nailed it or not but I really struggle I
00:11:15
mean did you you must have had feedback
00:11:16
though from some people yeah well the
00:11:18
drug well after that the Drama teacher
00:11:19
was really impressed and I started
00:11:20
getting you know more you know good you
00:11:23
know roles and Productions and things
00:11:25
like that and then I got cast as a lead
00:11:27
the next year for The Crucible which is
00:11:29
a more mainstream kind of drama show but
00:11:32
um
00:11:32
I think he I think he actually did it to
00:11:36
see if I could challenge myself or rise
00:11:38
up to that and I'm so glad he did so
00:11:41
yeah thank you to him but um it really
00:11:44
just awoke something in me that I go oh
00:11:46
there's actually a really beautiful
00:11:48
element of Storytelling and the ability
00:11:52
to
00:11:54
to give Justice to um to people in the
00:11:57
world and and to different aspects of
00:11:59
life and to and to do something that's
00:12:01
so with outside of my comfort zone and
00:12:04
of what I know and that takes and that
00:12:06
forces you to really dive into that and
00:12:09
to really respect the um the source
00:12:11
material and what you're looking at are
00:12:13
you would you describe yourself as a
00:12:15
perfectionist or did you or was it just
00:12:17
like a really good Drama teacher that
00:12:18
you wanted to do a good job no no I've
00:12:20
always no no right I think like I've
00:12:22
really bad OCD has occurred and uh and
00:12:26
growing up as a teenager and stuff so I
00:12:29
was always a perfectionist for things I
00:12:31
always wanted to do things
00:12:33
to the best ability
00:12:34
which drives me insane which is probably
00:12:36
why I'm still doing it because I'm just
00:12:39
yeah borderline insane
00:12:42
um but uh yeah so I think that helped as
00:12:46
well you know God there's um yeah I'm
00:12:48
like that with elements and I'm I'm
00:12:49
trying to I try and call myself out when
00:12:52
I do because it's not always healthy
00:12:53
right to be a perfectionist no you go
00:12:56
you need to like sometimes just relax
00:12:57
and try and enjoy things for what they
00:12:59
are so so there's that School production
00:13:01
and then so that's a light to firing you
00:13:03
is that when what did you want to do for
00:13:05
a career before the up until that point
00:13:07
I wanted to be a politician just yeah
00:13:09
yeah yeah I wanted to be an MP really
00:13:12
well yeah yeah
00:13:14
well I love it so when you were like 13
00:13:17
14 15 when I was from from 12 or an
00:13:21
intermediate I was when we were doing
00:13:22
these like career things I was
00:13:26
um I I put down on this board and we had
00:13:29
to write all about our profession and
00:13:30
stuff it was all about MPS and I think
00:13:33
at the time I was really I loved Winston
00:13:35
Peters and so I had this whole thing
00:13:37
about Winston Peters and and so but yeah
00:13:40
I loved it because I loved I loved
00:13:42
public speaking I'd always do speech
00:13:44
competitions I'd win speech competitions
00:13:45
I did debating I was kept in the
00:13:47
debating team loved
00:13:49
arguments and general knowledge and all
00:13:51
that kind of stuff so I think MP just it
00:13:53
was I was just like man I want to get
00:13:54
into politics and then towards the end
00:13:56
of high school
00:13:58
still kind of wanted to do it but I
00:13:59
became a yeah I just thought man that's
00:14:01
such a I don't know where to start but I
00:14:04
started getting more into business and I
00:14:05
think I wanted I wanted to do property
00:14:07
so I wanted to get a Bachelor of
00:14:09
property at Auckland uni by the by you
00:14:11
know end of high school kind of thing
00:14:13
were you was it a political household
00:14:15
like political debates around the dinner
00:14:16
table and ah not really no I mean very
00:14:19
involved that's a bizarre thing for a
00:14:21
like a teenager to be yeah well I'm
00:14:24
interested my dad was very into politics
00:14:26
yeah and he was very smart and very knew
00:14:30
everything about
00:14:32
um all the politicians and and the
00:14:34
history of New Zealand politics and
00:14:35
stuff so I think he was very well
00:14:37
informed with general knowledge and
00:14:39
current events and so I think naturally
00:14:41
I just kind of
00:14:42
tried to emulate that a little bit and
00:14:44
try and get myself more involved in that
00:14:46
would you ever I mean it's I suppose
00:14:49
it's one of those doors that's always
00:14:50
open if that's a path you want to go
00:14:52
down yeah um would you ever want yeah I
00:14:54
mean you could act now yeah exactly be a
00:14:56
politician what a politician does I mean
00:15:00
I don't know
00:15:01
yeah that cam he seems like a nice guy
00:15:04
but is he just acting exactly yeah yeah
00:15:06
nice I mean I mean Arnie's a politician
00:15:09
you got everything Ronald Reagan he is
00:15:11
before your time but uh Ronald Reagan
00:15:14
obviously uh more controversial Trump
00:15:16
and yeah so you've got all these
00:15:18
colorful characters get into politics so
00:15:19
maybe yeah I don't know maybe New
00:15:21
Zealand needs it I don't know yeah so so
00:15:23
after doing that um that play
00:15:25
um
00:15:26
is that when you're like this is it this
00:15:29
is this is my destiny this is what I
00:15:30
want to do
00:15:31
there wasn't that moment but it was it
00:15:34
was definitely when I was like oh man
00:15:35
this like this is actually really cool
00:15:37
this is
00:15:38
this was a profound experience I mean I
00:15:41
walked away learning a lot and I walked
00:15:43
away really understanding a lot more
00:15:44
about myself in a weird way and other
00:15:47
people you know and so from there and
00:15:49
then there was you know other going
00:15:51
through high school so that was probably
00:15:52
fifth form and then sixth form was The
00:15:55
Crucible and the Sim form was a was a
00:15:57
musical I think
00:15:59
um you know and I was still like well
00:16:01
because you know one I was in Hawke's
00:16:03
Bay so like nobody
00:16:06
thinks about getting into acting as a as
00:16:08
a career so I wasn't even a I was always
00:16:10
like oh well it's probably just a hobby
00:16:12
you know my and and naturally my parents
00:16:14
like that's a good hobby
00:16:17
and then uh and then by the end of high
00:16:19
school I I did the scholarship drama and
00:16:21
I got there and I thought maybe I should
00:16:23
give this a crack like maybe there's an
00:16:25
opportunity to do something with this
00:16:27
and then uh we and then it took a year
00:16:30
off went down to Wellington worked in
00:16:31
some theater companies that have did a
00:16:34
few shows down there and then I was like
00:16:36
I'm going to audition for toy for cardi
00:16:37
which is the New Zealand drama school
00:16:39
right right and back then it was it was
00:16:42
quite quite a prestigious and it was
00:16:44
yeah I had to get into intake of like 12
00:16:46
a year it was intake of 20 and they went
00:16:48
to 300 you know 300 odd plus audition
00:16:51
each year and so I went okay well I I'm
00:16:54
a big believer in you like my favorite
00:16:56
quotas by Julius Caesar's let the dye
00:16:58
fly you know
00:17:01
[Music]
00:17:03
before we crossed the Rubicon he he said
00:17:05
to his his all his
00:17:09
um
00:17:09
commanding soldiers and stuff they were
00:17:11
about to cross the Rubicon River and the
00:17:13
and the his right-hand man basically
00:17:14
said to him look once we cross the
00:17:16
Rubicon River uh we're committing
00:17:18
treason and it's an active Civil War and
00:17:21
he just says yeah obviously in London
00:17:23
and he goes let the dye fly let the
00:17:25
chips fall where they may and so like
00:17:27
we've he's prepared himself up to that
00:17:29
point and so once he crosses it's up to
00:17:32
the you know fate and his
00:17:34
preparation and a little bit of luck to
00:17:37
see the outcome obviously there was a
00:17:39
good outcome for him and but I just love
00:17:41
that idea is you prepare yourself as
00:17:43
much as possible you get to a point and
00:17:45
just go let's see what happens because
00:17:47
sometimes it doesn't work and and
00:17:49
sometimes it does and but like
00:17:52
it's nice and so that was the point I
00:17:54
just went
00:17:55
it's taking calculated risks you know
00:17:58
and that's what it was and and so I
00:18:00
think for him for for me it was like
00:18:01
well I'm doing like I'm doing pretty
00:18:03
well at this drama thing and what but
00:18:06
just by the fact that you got into uh
00:18:08
Twitter 300 apply and 20. why you know
00:18:11
up until well just with uh with School
00:18:13
production and then so I was like well
00:18:15
if I get into toy I'm gonna I'm gonna
00:18:18
take this seriously as a career and I'm
00:18:19
gonna do this as a career if I don't
00:18:21
then I'm gonna it would be a hobby and
00:18:23
I'll go up to Auckland and I'll I'll do
00:18:25
a bachelor property you know yeah how
00:18:27
long is that course though three years
00:18:29
three years okay so it's it's not an
00:18:31
insignificant amount of time no no and
00:18:33
it's it was hard training yeah was it
00:18:35
eight till five every day Monday or
00:18:38
Friday it wasn't like uni like you know
00:18:40
we you know your movement classes your
00:18:42
voice classes then your acting classes
00:18:44
in specialist classes so we worked with
00:18:46
a lot of different forms of theater you
00:18:48
know mask mime Comedia de latte
00:18:51
um so there was a then screen work
00:18:53
obviously then we did dance you know
00:18:55
ballet Jazz it was so it was a really
00:18:58
intense program but man it was it was it
00:19:00
was beautiful it was like an incubation
00:19:02
um and it was really a the most creative
00:19:06
three years of my life really didn't
00:19:08
didn't one of the uh tutors there tell
00:19:10
you that you should try stage management
00:19:12
no there was that was actually the Drama
00:19:14
teacher at high school oh okay yeah yeah
00:19:16
when I told him no when I told him I was
00:19:18
auditioning for that I want to do
00:19:19
audition for toy because he he he he he
00:19:22
actually had a like a top drama student
00:19:25
um a school Nikki and uh and she was she
00:19:28
always won the drama awards always won
00:19:30
those and and she it was always her and
00:19:32
then me in fact like he he loved her and
00:19:35
like love Yeah like she was the star
00:19:37
child and and I was like oh I'm thinking
00:19:39
of auditioning for toy and he was like
00:19:41
you you maybe you should just do the
00:19:43
management course there I was just like
00:19:44
man I can't wait to [ __ ] you yeah yeah
00:19:47
it was I was like [ __ ] yeah and I went
00:19:49
back and I went back uh they asked me to
00:19:52
come back at one point
00:19:54
um this is probably when I was on shorty
00:19:56
and I went back and I was like and I
00:19:58
told everyone I was like yeah and Mr
00:20:00
Walton said that I shouldn't do the
00:20:01
acting course and so it was a yeah he's
00:20:05
like he's like yeah I'm really sorry
00:20:06
about that I was like yeah um yeah I
00:20:08
mean it's not the most uh
00:20:10
Earnest I guess form of motivation but
00:20:13
um if you if haters are your motivators
00:20:15
whatever it takes right yeah yeah oh
00:20:18
nothing motivates me more than a [ __ ]
00:20:20
doubt it that's for sure yeah yeah is
00:20:22
that just how you wire it yep someone
00:20:24
tells you you can't do something and
00:20:25
you're like well thank you 100 yeah like
00:20:27
a dog with a bone yeah yeah oh good chat
00:20:30
um and you mentioned some of the things
00:20:31
before um that they teach you so uh what
00:20:34
is mask I know what mime is and Comedia
00:20:37
dellate did you say clown yeah yeah so
00:20:40
so mask and clown are two kind of forms
00:20:45
where you I mean mask work is a pretty
00:20:47
old old school theater form but it's
00:20:50
it's when it's done well when it's done
00:20:52
properly it's it's absolutely beautiful
00:20:54
like I wish there was more kind of
00:20:56
theater where we could see some more
00:20:58
mask working things but uh Jacob Raji
00:21:01
does uh he does mask work his show that
00:21:05
he just did um
00:21:09
he's one of the Masters of New Zealand
00:21:12
you know for mask do you wear like a
00:21:13
literal mask or no yes yeah yeah right
00:21:16
yeah yeah yeah yeah so the whole you
00:21:18
would be surprised like clown you think
00:21:20
is just you know like you don't think
00:21:24
that it's a but there's a full form to
00:21:26
it and it's real you once you really
00:21:27
appreciate the art it's actually really
00:21:28
beautiful to watch like our first class
00:21:31
for clown was which literally just sat
00:21:33
in a circle and everybody had to get up
00:21:35
once at one at a time and your goal you
00:21:38
couldn't sit down until every every
00:21:40
single person in the class laughed so
00:21:42
there were some people out there there
00:21:44
we had people crying because they were
00:21:46
up there for so long and they couldn't
00:21:48
make everybody laugh and they just
00:21:49
started tears of frustration yeah
00:21:51
genuine tears not not of happiness
00:21:54
um but it's really hard you know you
00:21:56
have the red nose on and you're yeah
00:21:58
yeah it's it's quite yeah yeah it knows
00:22:00
it's actually yes it's really cool but
00:22:03
um it just teaches you a different way
00:22:05
of looking at um theater forms and it
00:22:08
brings it right back to the origins of
00:22:10
acting really
00:22:11
and then then what what came first after
00:22:14
that was it shortland Street or The
00:22:15
Hobbit because you're into The Hobbit
00:22:16
movies yeah I did hold it while I was at
00:22:18
toy okay yeah yeah because yeah so the
00:22:21
the cast direct director uh Miranda she
00:22:24
she came to uh Toy to do a workshop with
00:22:27
us on casting and and uh from there she
00:22:30
just she asked if I'd like to be in The
00:22:32
Hobbit right there was it was an awesome
00:22:34
opportunity anyone that's seen the
00:22:36
Hobbit would they would they recognize
00:22:38
you or better spot you in it or not I
00:22:40
don't think so no but it must have been
00:22:41
a good experience at that age though A
00:22:43
great experience yeah like I was uh
00:22:46
I mean to be on that [ __ ] for two weeks
00:22:48
you know it was it was like you know and
00:22:52
see because I was playing through Andrew
00:22:54
was a lieutenant who's the elf Lord
00:22:55
who's played by Lee Pace and just
00:22:57
because I had to stand next to him and
00:22:58
every scene that he was in and so he was
00:23:01
obviously acting with you know Syria
00:23:02
McAllen and uh Luke Evans and and those
00:23:06
the other other top Billings and so to
00:23:08
watch them work and just watch them
00:23:10
working on this massive multi-million
00:23:13
dollar set and see Peter Jackson and
00:23:15
like you know for a drama student I was
00:23:17
just like this is the best school ever
00:23:20
like this is a this is incredible and I
00:23:21
was getting paid and and the catering
00:23:23
was the best thing I've ever had I was
00:23:25
eating noodles at night as a student you
00:23:27
know and they had like fresh salmon and
00:23:30
you know so they had it was just I was
00:23:31
just like whoa this is this is nuts and
00:23:35
just to see the scale of it like I was
00:23:36
like I've never seen anything like it
00:23:38
you know the amount of extras and the
00:23:40
amount of people crew and the sizes of
00:23:43
the sets I was just like man this is
00:23:44
just beautiful man that that just really
00:23:47
got me hooked I was like oh I want to do
00:23:50
this this is awesome you know playing
00:23:52
make-believe like bow and arrows I was
00:23:54
just like this is cool this is awesome
00:23:56
how could you not want to just play with
00:23:58
swords and bow and arrows in pretend
00:23:59
you're an Alf chasing after towards or
00:24:01
whatever you know it's just like this is
00:24:02
just a dream come true yeah but like one
00:24:05
of the one of the most expensive movies
00:24:06
ever even made like it's a false a false
00:24:09
sort of reality it was really going from
00:24:12
you know from You Know Drama School
00:24:14
production to the hospital yeah I can
00:24:17
get used to this yeah but it was awesome
00:24:19
to see that extreme you know awesome to
00:24:21
see what that that end of this the
00:24:23
Spectrum was
00:24:25
um so yeah best opportunity I could have
00:24:27
ever had at that at that age at that at
00:24:29
that point yeah did you get to um pick
00:24:31
anyone's brains or have any
00:24:32
conversations with anyone that you know
00:24:35
you're just keeping your head down I had
00:24:37
a small conversation with Syria McCallum
00:24:39
because he had actually come to toy and
00:24:41
and spoke to us and so I kind of just
00:24:43
said hey I'm I'm Cam and you actually
00:24:46
came and I think it was like weeks
00:24:48
before and I was like hey you know you
00:24:49
came and visited us and blah blah and he
00:24:51
he's so friendly he's the nicest guy so
00:24:53
he was he was all chats but like I was
00:24:55
very nervous being around everybody else
00:24:56
like Lee Pace yeah I had a little
00:24:58
conversation but it was yeah it's so
00:25:00
nervous and they've got a hundred people
00:25:03
uh dealing with you know they've got
00:25:04
hundreds hundreds of people coming up to
00:25:06
them all the time and but I think the
00:25:08
coolest thing was watching Luke uh Luke
00:25:10
Evans uh because he's a pretty big dude
00:25:13
and works out and stuff and and he had a
00:25:15
guy he he had someone who was coming to
00:25:17
sit to him with his protein shake
00:25:20
between takes but he is you know just a
00:25:22
job just to bring him a photo shoot I
00:25:24
was like that is so cool I'm like I hate
00:25:26
it when someone brings you your protein
00:25:28
shake between takes I was like that's
00:25:30
when you know you've done it because I
00:25:31
mean the worst I mean you're a protein
00:25:33
shake guy the worst thing about it is
00:25:34
having to clean your own [ __ ] blender
00:25:35
afterwards imagine that someone else
00:25:37
cleaning the blender yeah exactly
00:25:38
exactly so yeah there was that those
00:25:40
were the goals yeah see but you don't
00:25:42
get told in those environments like on
00:25:44
day one like okay don't [ __ ] with Peter
00:25:46
Jackson don't talk to this person don't
00:25:48
take any photos I'll just go without
00:25:51
saying no you got you you get told yeah
00:25:53
yeah because they've got that I mean
00:25:54
obviously massive confidentiality issues
00:25:58
um but you can talk but also you don't
00:26:00
also don't want to be that guy you don't
00:26:01
want to be that person that's like yeah
00:26:02
it's kind of leaking stuff or you know
00:26:04
trying to schmooze or I've always found
00:26:07
that difficult like the that line
00:26:09
between genuinely trying to connect with
00:26:11
someone in the industry and schmoozing
00:26:13
like I've always found that hard because
00:26:14
I never wanted to come across as
00:26:16
schmoozing or trying to butter someone
00:26:17
up
00:26:19
um which which is very hard and then in
00:26:20
the industry yeah so I try and keep
00:26:23
pretty real yeah yeah so then um you
00:26:27
eventually make your way to shortland
00:26:28
street where the catering's not as good
00:26:30
yeah but still better than two minute
00:26:31
noodles yeah yeah still good
00:26:34
um so you you were Dallas Adams uh ambo
00:26:37
driver so this is like 2013 to 2015. yep
00:26:41
yep I feel like this was um
00:26:43
there's been like drastic changes in
00:26:46
Free To Wear TV between like now and now
00:26:48
and then yeah like 10 years I feel like
00:26:50
this was a time where it was still like
00:26:51
a massively popular show and if you're
00:26:53
on that show you you know you're you're
00:26:55
massively famous how did your life
00:26:56
change being on shortland Street
00:26:58
uh yeah pretty big yeah yeah around
00:27:02
Auckland or do you especially when you
00:27:04
got out of board Center Auckland more
00:27:06
everywhere everywhere else yeah you know
00:27:08
like yeah it was almost like the smaller
00:27:10
the town the bigger it was
00:27:14
yeah it did change yeah uh completely
00:27:16
and I don't know if I was fully ready
00:27:18
for for you know for that because it's
00:27:20
like
00:27:21
outside of New Zealand no one you know
00:27:22
no one knows knows it or knows who you
00:27:25
are but like it's so intensely it's
00:27:27
almost
00:27:28
um it's really a pop culture phenomenon
00:27:32
in New Zealand you know 100 so I think
00:27:34
it's um I feel like listen so now like
00:27:37
if you're on the show now like it's it's
00:27:39
so fragmented now in terms of what
00:27:40
people are watching and how they're
00:27:41
consuming uh different forms of media
00:27:43
but back then yeah you probably got the
00:27:46
sort of tail end of yeah well seven
00:27:47
o'clock was the prime time slot yeah
00:27:50
current affairs or an escape from
00:27:51
reality with short on the streets yeah
00:27:53
yeah another another hospital blowing up
00:27:59
well one experience money good yeah yeah
00:28:03
look I mean I was 20 I was 23. you know
00:28:05
like I was I was 20. I mean I don't know
00:28:08
how I probably shouldn't say how much I
00:28:10
was earning but it was that's 10 years
00:28:11
ago you can say if you want well it was
00:28:13
like you know like 100 Grand at least it
00:28:14
was six figures so yeah but like for 23
00:28:17
in 2015 that's that's good money for me
00:28:20
you know I was like it's good money for
00:28:22
anyone not only that but I was just
00:28:23
proud like I was just like I was just
00:28:25
very proud of myself because I've I've
00:28:27
done what I wanted I'd done my goal you
00:28:30
know I was like I want to be a working
00:28:32
actor and it was happening
00:28:34
and I was very happy to be doing it and
00:28:36
I just I was on set every day and I was
00:28:38
working a craft and yeah someone was you
00:28:41
know like some of the story lines for us
00:28:42
to frustrated me a bit but you can't
00:28:44
have I mean it is what it is every day
00:28:46
you know I think you know so
00:28:47
but yeah it was great and I was and more
00:28:50
than that like for the first time I
00:28:52
think my dad realized that I could take
00:28:55
this seriously as a career and so that
00:28:56
was a big moment for our relationship I
00:28:58
think as he was he became proud and um
00:29:01
it just kind of set me up you know I
00:29:03
said set me up and allowed me to
00:29:06
not be struggling so they but it was
00:29:08
almost harder because then I went from
00:29:09
there and then when I went back to LA to
00:29:11
being a broke actor it was like
00:29:13
[ __ ] yeah I felt like I was regressing
00:29:15
so it's it was almost bad to do it that
00:29:18
way like you you kind of want to just
00:29:20
keep going up and keep making more and
00:29:22
more money but to go from you know a
00:29:24
nice cushy lifestyle and then it was
00:29:27
great man it was great I have I have
00:29:29
nothing but four memories and and
00:29:31
um yeah I mean sure I could have done
00:29:33
things differently I probably would have
00:29:34
stayed on them but longer did you leave
00:29:37
on your own terms or were you yeah yeah
00:29:38
yeah yeah you just thought the time was
00:29:40
right after three years yeah it's it's
00:29:42
hard though isn't it right because it's
00:29:44
like um it's probably like me with a
00:29:46
radio to a degree it's like um
00:29:48
I was at the same station for 20 years
00:29:50
and you realize you're almost in like a
00:29:53
golden cell in a way and I feel like I
00:29:55
haven't had them on the podcast yet but
00:29:57
I'd love to get Michael Galvin on it oh
00:29:58
yeah you should it must be the same sort
00:30:00
of situation it's like you know you
00:30:03
start acting with this um dream to be
00:30:05
like a Hollywood leading man or whatever
00:30:07
it happens to be and then you get this
00:30:09
good money you get a taste of it and
00:30:10
it's intoxicating so how did how did you
00:30:13
turn you back on it after three years so
00:30:14
uh
00:30:17
so they they
00:30:20
tried to extend they wanted to extend my
00:30:22
contract
00:30:23
um and I I believe if my memory is right
00:30:26
it was like to five years
00:30:28
and they wanted to do it by that and
00:30:30
then do subsequent years after that but
00:30:32
I think they were angling like my
00:30:35
character and Bella to be to get hitched
00:30:38
and to have quite a large storyline and
00:30:40
quite and be quite a you know key
00:30:42
component to the show
00:30:44
and
00:30:46
um
00:30:47
looking back I I probably regret
00:30:51
not staying on and doing five years
00:30:54
because I think one just just to do more
00:30:57
work and and two would have set me up a
00:31:00
lot better financially and and just also
00:31:02
I was still I was still green I was 20
00:31:04
[ __ ] three so I think I wasn't a man
00:31:07
yet and even though I thought I was but
00:31:10
um
00:31:11
yeah like you like you like you you say
00:31:14
like you with with radio I just felt
00:31:17
like
00:31:18
I I always had these dreams of the kind
00:31:21
of work I wanted to do and that doesn't
00:31:22
necessarily mean
00:31:24
um
00:31:26
I I just thought sometimes I was being
00:31:29
under underused and I felt like I had a
00:31:31
lot more potential and a lot more skill
00:31:34
set to be able to show dramatically and
00:31:36
I I just didn't feel like I was doing
00:31:38
that I think
00:31:40
um
00:31:41
I just I wanted to to do more I just I
00:31:44
was just like man I'm getting I'm
00:31:45
getting really itchy here like I I I
00:31:47
either need more
00:31:50
something to sink my teeth in or or I
00:31:53
need to just you know take the challenge
00:31:55
yeah or so so
00:31:57
or I need to leave the show and and and
00:32:00
risk and try and get what I'm looking
00:32:02
for somewhere else
00:32:04
um and and I I've gone over to LA and
00:32:06
had some successful meetings over there
00:32:07
and then just decided
00:32:09
probably a bit too hot-headedly that I
00:32:11
that I that I wanted to leave and go to
00:32:14
La
00:32:15
um there'd be nothing worse than dying
00:32:18
wondering hey you know you're dying
00:32:21
right exactly exactly and but but to be
00:32:23
honest five years wouldn't have hurt me
00:32:24
at all and you know when I talked to my
00:32:26
dad about at the time he you know he
00:32:29
said look you need just do it just yeah
00:32:31
do five years you know what's what's the
00:32:33
worst you know there's no harm in doing
00:32:35
that and so and he was right you know in
00:32:37
retrospect he was definitely right but I
00:32:39
did what I did I was young I was a bit
00:32:40
naive and a bit dumb and a bit arrogant
00:32:42
whatever uh and and left and took that
00:32:46
risk and it took years for that risk to
00:32:48
pay off but you know at the same time
00:32:50
you go
00:32:51
through that that calculated risk that
00:32:54
didn't work I learned and [ __ ] grew
00:32:56
so much you know like I I I really
00:33:00
[ __ ] was in the thick of it for those
00:33:03
years and I think that's where I did my
00:33:05
biggest learning and biggest growth as
00:33:07
both a person and as an actor and went
00:33:10
back to the drawing board you know in La
00:33:12
I went back to I went back to drama
00:33:13
school I went back to England classes I
00:33:15
really went back to craft work and all
00:33:17
that and really tried to work out but
00:33:20
yeah at 25 you know 25 when I left still
00:33:24
a boy you know and I I should have
00:33:28
really just incubated myself in that
00:33:30
environment until I was becoming a man
00:33:33
in my later 20s because even now like at
00:33:35
32 I feel like I'm just breaking through
00:33:38
into manhood and and also being a
00:33:42
leading man like now is my time where
00:33:44
I'm I'm
00:33:45
where I'll now come into that leading
00:33:47
man phase because as a male actor
00:33:50
in you know casting wise in your mid-20s
00:33:53
is really awkward because you're too old
00:33:55
for the Disney stuff or the kid stuff
00:33:57
you know you're too old to be played the
00:33:59
high school kid yeah but you're too
00:34:00
young to be like you're not going to
00:34:02
take a leading man role at 25 like no
00:34:06
one's going to take you seriously
00:34:07
you're going to get your ass kicked like
00:34:09
you know so it's like you don't look
00:34:11
like a man you don't have the life
00:34:13
experience of man so
00:34:15
look yes I agree yes I regret it in some
00:34:19
ways but in this at the same time I also
00:34:21
feel like man when I went to hell
00:34:24
I've I came out a lot stronger and I
00:34:26
forged myself a lot stronger through all
00:34:28
those trials and tribulations and and
00:34:30
that has really ultimately defined who
00:34:33
I'm carrying through as now you know and
00:34:35
so now I feel very ready for those
00:34:37
leading man roles yeah yeah
00:34:39
well let's chat about your dad for a bit
00:34:41
because you um you mentioned him so your
00:34:43
parents were and probably rightfully so
00:34:45
I suppose apprehensive about this career
00:34:48
choice yeah yeah I mean he's from Hawks
00:34:51
Bay I'm from Palmer's the north just up
00:34:54
the road it's the same sort of thing you
00:34:55
want to be an actor what the [ __ ] are
00:34:56
you on about no there's no career in
00:34:58
there I mean New Zealand let alone
00:35:00
Hawke's Bay you know like New Zealand
00:35:01
it's not really a career path but yeah
00:35:03
[ __ ] let alone small towns you know
00:35:05
Hawke's Bay it's like it's not not even
00:35:06
a a thought
00:35:08
you know so it was a bit wild but um so
00:35:10
when you got the job on shortland street
00:35:12
they must be like oh thank God okay
00:35:13
because that's like the Pinnacle of New
00:35:15
Zealand yeah yeah yeah yeah I think I
00:35:17
think so and I think I I well my mum she
00:35:20
was always supported she was happy that
00:35:22
I was just doing what I wanted to do and
00:35:24
but I think Dad was more obviously
00:35:26
practical and Pregnant for sure for sure
00:35:29
yeah was like I don't want my son being
00:35:31
broke so you know I don't want him to
00:35:34
struggle in life you know so I think he
00:35:36
was just coming he came from a place of
00:35:38
love but it was pragmatic and I suppose
00:35:40
from your parents perspective
00:35:42
um when you've got a son that's got a
00:35:44
major role on shortland Street Suddenly
00:35:46
It's like tangible proof of what you're
00:35:47
doing you know what I mean like their
00:35:49
friends will start commenting about it
00:35:50
that brings an element of Pride and
00:35:52
stuff I guess 100 yeah and then
00:35:55
um so your dad Graham so when did he
00:35:58
pass away he passed away at the end of
00:36:00
2015 so right yeah yeah right at the end
00:36:02
of 15. [ __ ] so how do you how old are
00:36:04
you at the time like so 25 right yes
00:36:06
that was my the end of my first year in
00:36:08
La yeah yeah
00:36:11
um it was so yeah what was his cause of
00:36:13
death
00:36:15
yeah so he he was having some heart
00:36:17
problems uh and he was very dogmatic so
00:36:21
he never liked hospitals he never liked
00:36:22
getting treatment apart from shortland
00:36:24
Street nice yeah I'm sure on the street
00:36:28
sorry that was a nice moment I [ __ ] it
00:36:31
up
00:36:33
well I'm sure he would have enjoyed it
00:36:34
you know being treated by the nurses at
00:36:36
shortland Street as well but no no he
00:36:38
was having some heart problems and he
00:36:40
didn't want to he left it quite late and
00:36:42
kind of put it off and whatever and it
00:36:43
got to a point where he had to go to
00:36:44
hospital heart surgery which is a pretty
00:36:47
uh standard operation for heart problems
00:36:51
um hated hospitals absolutely hated them
00:36:55
um but he had the surgery it was a
00:36:57
success
00:36:58
and then he was obviously in a juice
00:37:00
coma and they the the doctor gave him
00:37:03
too much blood thinner and then that
00:37:05
blood thinner caused a brain bleed and
00:37:08
within and then straight away it was
00:37:09
just like 24 hours you know it was just
00:37:11
like so once he got the brain bleeding
00:37:13
he was basically a vegetable and they
00:37:17
called us and was just like look you
00:37:19
know you've got
00:37:20
we're going to keep them on life support
00:37:23
and until you can all say goodbye and
00:37:25
then but there's no no
00:37:29
fixing it unfortunately so it was very
00:37:32
sudden and it was just really tragically
00:37:34
ironic you know because he he hated
00:37:36
Hospital didn't want surgery survived
00:37:38
the surgery and got through and was came
00:37:41
in on the other side and then they just
00:37:42
overdid it on the blood on the blood
00:37:45
thinner yeah angry at the time yeah I
00:37:47
was yeah yeah because is there anything
00:37:49
you can do about it or is it just like
00:37:50
sorry you know they call you we got
00:37:53
called into this weird kind of room and
00:37:56
then the head surgeon or whatever he is
00:37:58
he he kind of says look on behalf of the
00:38:01
hospital sorry and it's like cool it's
00:38:03
not really good oh yeah no it's it's not
00:38:05
but yeah it's but it's at the same time
00:38:08
you've you know
00:38:09
that's a hard one that's a hard one to
00:38:11
Wrangle because you know you know that
00:38:13
the public health system is so [ __ ]
00:38:15
overworked
00:38:16
but you also which makes me angry at
00:38:19
that as well because I'm like man if
00:38:21
they have [ __ ] enough rest you know
00:38:23
this is a human error you know so what
00:38:26
do we do to stop this because this is
00:38:28
obviously costing lives and it's like
00:38:29
we're not talking about a car here we're
00:38:31
talking about a lot of Life yeah and
00:38:33
affecting people's entire [ __ ] lives
00:38:37
and families so I was quite angry but at
00:38:40
this you know me being angry or at the
00:38:43
doctor or at the hospital wasn't going
00:38:46
to bring them back so it doesn't matter
00:38:47
if I swear at them or
00:38:49
yeah okay I'm not going to hit them but
00:38:51
you know there's nothing that that's
00:38:52
going to do anyway so I was it was it
00:38:54
was kind of like
00:38:56
probably a massive moment of realizing
00:38:59
that there are things out of my control
00:39:01
can you remember your last conversation
00:39:03
with your dad I I guess you didn't know
00:39:05
I don't know like from sitting here like
00:39:08
you hope it's going to be something like
00:39:09
poignant or profound but I suppose not
00:39:11
knowing he's going to pass it was
00:39:13
probably something mundane I'll never
00:39:14
forget that conversation really yeah I
00:39:16
was I was I was driving I was working
00:39:20
um
00:39:21
as a fun a house for a nightclub in LA
00:39:27
and I was driving because I remember the
00:39:29
exit and I remember talking them on the
00:39:30
on the freeway and stuff and
00:39:33
and it was before he went in for the
00:39:34
surgery
00:39:36
and um
00:39:38
he was he was waiting and and I was
00:39:41
really upset because I I I you know I
00:39:43
was and I was getting worked up and I
00:39:45
was saying look like I I don't want I
00:39:47
don't want you to die like you've got to
00:39:49
come out of this like I want to make
00:39:50
sure that you know I can talk to you and
00:39:52
I want to make sure that you know you're
00:39:54
there for my grant for my kids and you
00:39:56
can be a a Granddad and well I've only
00:39:58
he's reassuring me you know it's going
00:40:00
to be okay and
00:40:02
it'll be fine like I'm fine it's
00:40:04
everything's going to be fine and then
00:40:05
he's
00:40:07
just as we're about to hang up he he
00:40:09
said um he said oh just just remember
00:40:15
um always be a leader never be a
00:40:17
follower
00:40:18
and then for the first time since I was
00:40:21
a kid he said he said I love you and I'm
00:40:24
proud of you
00:40:25
and it was weird because it was like
00:40:30
first of all I hadn't heard those words
00:40:31
come out of his mouth
00:40:33
and since I was you know since I was
00:40:35
young
00:40:36
and it's not that I didn't know he it's
00:40:38
not that he didn't love me yeah he was
00:40:40
he was a very old school
00:40:43
and it was just weird it was almost
00:40:45
ominous that he said that because it was
00:40:48
almost like he knew
00:40:49
because otherwise he wouldn't it felt
00:40:52
like he wanted to
00:40:53
to be at peace by saying that and making
00:40:56
sure that I knew that before he went
00:40:58
because I feel like if he knew he was
00:41:00
going to survive
00:41:01
he wouldn't have said that because he
00:41:03
would have been confident in the fact
00:41:04
that he'd be able to live to see another
00:41:06
day and and tell me that at another time
00:41:08
but it was just
00:41:09
when he said that I got a real
00:41:11
sinking feeling and I just
00:41:14
yeah it was better just to hear those
00:41:16
words and you know just
00:41:19
yeah it really obviously I was [ __ ] I
00:41:23
was crying in the car and
00:41:25
and
00:41:27
um those those were literally the last
00:41:28
words he said to me
00:41:30
and what a great last conversation
00:41:32
though yeah at the benefit of hindsight
00:41:35
yeah
00:41:36
so yeah left
00:41:38
nothing out there so I mean I know
00:41:41
actions speak louder than words but
00:41:42
words are also pretty special as well if
00:41:44
you've got the actions and I backed up
00:41:45
with words so you got the words and you
00:41:48
got the um you got the words that he was
00:41:50
you know okay with the job you were
00:41:52
doing yeah yeah because I
00:41:54
that year in La has been really [ __ ]
00:41:56
hard and I'd come close on a couple of
00:41:59
things like literally down to the final
00:42:01
two on a couple of things and you know
00:42:03
when you're looking at a contract for
00:42:06
a 30 grand 30 Uso episode you know
00:42:10
yeah and this is back in 2015 and that
00:42:12
was on the lower pay scale
00:42:14
and you know and I also every time I get
00:42:16
through these final rounds obviously
00:42:17
he's he's there he's he's saying yeah
00:42:19
you go get it you know so he was here in
00:42:21
my back and then when it didn't fall
00:42:22
through he'd say just get back on the
00:42:24
horse mate like it's all good like you
00:42:26
just go you got that close you'll get it
00:42:28
again but so this happened a few times
00:42:30
and then when he went in for the surgery
00:42:31
I ended up he was in a coma for a week
00:42:35
and in that time I booked a commercial
00:42:37
which was my first La my first acting
00:42:40
job in the states and so it was a big
00:42:42
deal for me and it paid really well and
00:42:45
um and so I was stoked and I couldn't
00:42:46
wait he was due to come out of his coma
00:42:49
the day I finished the commercial and I
00:42:53
remember coming off set and being really
00:42:55
excited and I to tell him and tell them
00:42:57
about the Sid and tell them about the
00:42:59
you know everything because he didn't
00:43:00
know that I was going through tonight I
00:43:02
got it so I was I couldn't wait for him
00:43:03
to wake up and he'd be like yeah [ __ ]
00:43:05
booked my first job in L.A and then um
00:43:08
yeah I walked off soon I had all these
00:43:10
missed calls from my sister and I
00:43:11
thought oh [ __ ] it was weird and I was
00:43:15
and I was obviously on cloud nine and
00:43:18
picked up the phone called her and she's
00:43:20
obviously screaming down the phone and
00:43:21
saying that I need to come home and and
00:43:24
dad was dead and and so I just [ __ ] I
00:43:27
remember being in a parking lot and just
00:43:29
[ __ ] falling on my knees and just I
00:43:32
yeah I've never weeped like that I was
00:43:35
it was it's a guttle [ __ ] sound you
00:43:38
know like it just yeah
00:43:39
it just releases you know and I just
00:43:43
your whole world just stripped from you
00:43:45
and and so I [ __ ] it was it was the
00:43:48
worst that next 24 hours because I just
00:43:50
got on the first flight back
00:43:51
and man it obviously didn't sleep on the
00:43:54
plane but you're just you're just numb
00:43:56
you know you're going through customs
00:43:57
you're you're numb no one on the plane
00:43:59
knows what you're going through and
00:44:00
obviously and you don't expect them to
00:44:02
but you're just numb you can't watch a
00:44:04
movie because you you're just waiting to
00:44:07
be transported to
00:44:11
yeah yeah oh man how old was he dead are
00:44:15
you 61 right yeah man
00:44:18
yeah so still too young
00:44:21
yeah incredible yeah I'm sorry that you
00:44:24
had to go through that yeah thank you
00:44:26
yeah
00:44:26
um that last conversation [ __ ] that's
00:44:28
special very special yeah I'll never
00:44:31
forget I could I could still see and
00:44:33
taste and hear everything in that that
00:44:35
moment I yeah and there was um a quote I
00:44:38
read from you on an interview somewhere
00:44:40
um talking about your dad
00:44:42
um
00:44:42
you said I feel like I became a man that
00:44:45
day I had to for my family and for Dad
00:44:47
yeah
00:44:49
yeah I'm
00:44:51
it's incredible once
00:44:53
you don't realize how much
00:44:56
um
00:44:58
a father
00:45:00
holds the family together until they're
00:45:02
gone and uh
00:45:04
that
00:45:06
um
00:45:09
yeah the the the the
00:45:14
just I didn't realize how quickly things
00:45:17
would unbalance
00:45:19
without without that patriarchal figure
00:45:22
you know and and
00:45:24
trying to step into that but also not
00:45:26
trying to be my father was a weird thing
00:45:28
you know like not trying to be my father
00:45:31
as the father of the family but but
00:45:34
trying to for fill certain roles or
00:45:37
things that he took care of and and
00:45:40
there was a hard like in terms of like
00:45:42
looking after your mum or your siblings
00:45:44
well he was just a source of strength I
00:45:46
think for everybody and and and and yeah
00:45:49
looking after my mom and my sister and
00:45:52
um
00:45:54
yeah just it just really made me realize
00:45:58
how much he actually did without doing
00:45:59
you know like it was kind of unspoken or
00:46:02
un
00:46:03
seared and you just took it for granted
00:46:05
until he was gone and it just felt like
00:46:07
the whole balance just went like that
00:46:09
and that just you know the whole family
00:46:11
Dynamic really changed it was a rough
00:46:14
period for my family for a
00:46:17
few years I mean there's still some
00:46:19
stuff that
00:46:20
as I'm being mended now
00:46:23
but yeah it's been a it's been a hasn't
00:46:26
been easy
00:46:27
yeah so
00:46:29
it's hard I like it yeah everyone wants
00:46:32
um life to be like like neat and simple
00:46:34
and and perfect and it's just not and uh
00:46:37
you know sometimes bad things happen and
00:46:39
you're you've been the master of that
00:46:41
yourself but then there's things like
00:46:42
this that just happen to everyone and
00:46:44
we're going to deal with at some point
00:46:45
like illness or death or whatever and
00:46:47
it's [ __ ] it's hard life's
00:46:48
complicated on top of normal life yeah
00:46:50
100 yeah
00:46:53
um so you you let's um zoom in on the um
00:46:56
the LA staff for a while so it's
00:46:58
something like 150 auditions uh over a
00:47:01
couple of years yeah yeah it was so
00:47:03
before I booked my first gig not the not
00:47:05
the commercial the the Dolly Parton film
00:47:08
uh it was I count because I I I always
00:47:12
wrote down what auditions I had had
00:47:14
and uh like a journal or a diary or a
00:47:17
journal and and I had counted 152 since
00:47:21
when I went to when I got booked it's a
00:47:25
lot of rejection a lot it's a lot of
00:47:26
rejection and some of them were almost
00:47:29
worse because you got so close
00:47:31
and then got rejected so you know you
00:47:33
you go off that final final audition
00:47:36
where it's you and the the like you know
00:47:39
the girl or the co-star
00:47:41
and right before you head in because and
00:47:44
then by that stage you're going to have
00:47:45
the you know cameras on you and
00:47:47
everyone's in the room and all that kind
00:47:48
of stuff and um before you go in you you
00:47:51
look at the contract you look at the
00:47:53
money
00:47:54
you sign it and then you walk in and do
00:47:56
the audition I was like that's just
00:47:58
torture man this is this is this is
00:48:00
life-changing money this is this is this
00:48:02
isn't like you know Assurance route was
00:48:05
great but this is actually life-changing
00:48:07
money this this will change my life you
00:48:09
know 10 episodes at x amount
00:48:12
you know and it's like this will change
00:48:14
my life drastically I'll be able to buy
00:48:18
you know properly in La I'll be able to
00:48:19
do this you know like you start
00:48:22
daydreaming you
00:48:24
gosh yeah that's what you do because
00:48:26
you're going yeah and and you're you're
00:48:29
10 minutes away from there that could
00:48:32
happen in the next 10 minutes
00:48:33
so like to have that weight on you and
00:48:36
to try not to let that
00:48:37
rattle you and then and then you find
00:48:39
out that they wanted you know that you
00:48:42
were perfect but they they wanted blue
00:48:44
eyes
00:48:45
and you're like what about context
00:48:47
I'll find a solution yeah
00:48:51
so many times like that that came down
00:48:53
to little tiny things and then
00:48:56
um
00:48:57
yeah you're just you're just on the
00:48:59
woman that's the problem with the career
00:49:01
is that you there's so much out of your
00:49:03
control which has a control freak I find
00:49:06
really difficult yeah that can be I mean
00:49:07
you do something like um something that
00:49:09
you're into like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and
00:49:11
uh the more you do it you get better
00:49:13
yeah and uh the more yeah the harder you
00:49:15
work the better you get the more success
00:49:17
you get but something like this it's
00:49:18
like so many variables that are just
00:49:20
completely out of your hands well that's
00:49:22
why I love Brazil in Jiu Jitsu because
00:49:23
it's it's so black and white you can't
00:49:26
[ __ ] you can't you can't talk your
00:49:29
way out of it you can't talk your way up
00:49:31
you know like it's just like it is the
00:49:33
the better person will be yeah always
00:49:36
there's no doubts about you can't talk
00:49:38
smack and you're like you're going to
00:49:39
get found out if you say that you're a
00:49:42
black belt or you say that you've won
00:49:43
this and then that it's going to happen
00:49:45
you're going to find out really quickly
00:49:47
whereas like an acting people you know
00:49:49
they'll say whatever they want to say
00:49:50
because no one checks them on it you
00:49:52
know and there's a lot of like eerie
00:49:54
feariness and in that industry so that's
00:49:56
why I find my martial arts in general is
00:49:58
very refreshing because like you can't
00:50:00
talk smack and you can't you can't lie
00:50:03
you know so it's like that's that's
00:50:05
that's what I love about it but um yeah
00:50:08
yeah it's it's just learning to to
00:50:12
relinquish that control you know yeah so
00:50:15
so the dolly partner move that was like
00:50:17
a Christmas movie and you've played the
00:50:20
uncle of young Dolly yes
00:50:22
um I believe that went really well too
00:50:23
and they will look at doing a series
00:50:24
afterwards yeah yeah so she so we sit
00:50:27
around when dolly was like 10 yeah
00:50:29
um and I played her uncle so in her life
00:50:31
her uncle
00:50:33
sort of saw her talent and was like I'm
00:50:35
gonna I need to do something about that
00:50:37
and that was what the whole film was
00:50:38
about was him just kind of discovering
00:50:40
her and then her her parents my dad
00:50:42
didn't want her to leave you know and go
00:50:44
off and be a an Entertainer and so her
00:50:47
uncle had to try and convince her damn
00:50:48
blah blah and then we that didn't really
00:50:50
get resolved by the end of the film and
00:50:53
so the then they were gonna if it went
00:50:55
well they were green they were green
00:50:57
lighting a series that would be Dolly
00:51:00
and
00:51:00
um Bill Uncle Bill on the road and so
00:51:03
that was that was what I was really
00:51:04
looking forward to was this kind of
00:51:06
Journey because that's when she went on
00:51:08
like the Porter Wagner show and and and
00:51:10
started picking up and getting all these
00:51:12
like radio shows and TV spots and all
00:51:13
that and then it goes off and then she
00:51:15
just takes off so that show would have
00:51:17
been really interesting and and
00:51:19
and obviously again life-changing
00:51:22
because the movie was great but it was a
00:51:24
one-off film and and so when they said
00:51:26
look this gets x amount and ratings
00:51:30
um the series will go ahead and you're
00:51:31
going to be a lead in the series to
00:51:33
Dolly and it's like cool I'm going to be
00:51:36
a lead in a in a TV series you know
00:51:40
that's
00:51:41
that's literally life-changing you know
00:51:43
career changing life-changing like you
00:51:45
know and this is NBC one of the biggest
00:51:47
networks in America in the world
00:51:49
and so that again you're starting to go
00:51:52
far out what am I going to buy you know
00:51:54
what am I gonna what am I you know what
00:51:56
should I get yeah this and this but also
00:51:58
you're going what a gift as an actor
00:52:00
like I can because TV series like that
00:52:02
are just an absolute that's the dream
00:52:04
because you can just work out this
00:52:06
character Arc over a 10 episode series
00:52:08
or whatever and really play with that
00:52:10
character and and stretch those
00:52:12
boundaries a bit but
00:52:15
the ratings went off the charts like
00:52:17
it'd be a beat uh Empire and it beat all
00:52:20
the all the shows that were just doing
00:52:22
really well at the time and so the
00:52:24
ratings couldn't have been better you
00:52:25
know I think that they had four million
00:52:27
views on one night and ended up having
00:52:29
12 million views all throughout the the
00:52:31
the night said dinner or something and
00:52:33
so
00:52:35
couldn't be better ratings-wise and then
00:52:38
um so I remember the producer saying to
00:52:41
me this is going to go ahead you're
00:52:43
you're it's going to get Greenland and
00:52:44
so I went I came back to New Zealand for
00:52:46
summer holidays and I was like man I'm
00:52:48
gonna have the best summer and then when
00:52:49
I go back get on that plane I'm going
00:52:52
back to him a [ __ ] awesome job before
00:52:55
I get on the to the plane to go back I
00:52:58
get a call from the producer and he's
00:53:00
like look I'm really sorry but
00:53:02
um the the studio is the network has
00:53:06
just decided it's not going ahead and I
00:53:08
was like what do you what do you mean
00:53:09
like the what about the ranges I know
00:53:11
but like uh
00:53:14
this is the thing you don't know why you
00:53:16
know
00:53:18
I mean I don't know my theory is that at
00:53:20
that time
00:53:22
darker shows were all in the rain yeah
00:53:24
it was like
00:53:26
you know Game of Thrones it was it was
00:53:28
Empire it was all these really dark kind
00:53:31
of like
00:53:32
bitter kind of shows and I think at the
00:53:35
time people liked that for whatever
00:53:36
reason and now we want lighter shows
00:53:38
because we're in a dark period ourselves
00:53:40
so yeah that makes sense you know so I
00:53:42
think at that point in 2016 2017
00:53:46
you know life was pretty good so I think
00:53:48
people enjoyed the darker stuff whereas
00:53:50
now I think it would probably be a
00:53:52
different story and probably be the
00:53:53
opposite and so Dolly Dolly's obviously
00:53:56
a beautiful human being and her show was
00:53:57
wholesome and light and all that so
00:54:00
I don't think the wholesome Vibe was the
00:54:02
thing but but it just blew my mind
00:54:03
because the ratings were couldn't have
00:54:05
been better so I I don't know but you
00:54:07
know you're literally someone wakes up
00:54:09
and decide makes a decision that affects
00:54:11
thousands of people and you know so it's
00:54:14
just it's just it's quite it's it's so
00:54:16
hard to grasp because I was like not
00:54:18
only like my life definitely would have
00:54:20
changed but what about the crew and all
00:54:22
that so you do go man there's so much
00:54:24
there's so many moving parts to this
00:54:26
industry that you just it's not because
00:54:28
I stuffed up you know because usually
00:54:30
like in life you know it does something
00:54:32
doesn't go ahead because I made a
00:54:34
mistake or I [ __ ] did this or I did
00:54:36
that but it had nothing to do with me
00:54:38
which it's kind of good because but at
00:54:40
the same time you're like what can I do
00:54:42
can I do something you know like hit me
00:54:44
yeah please please just green light the
00:54:46
show you know because you were gonna
00:54:48
drastically change my life yeah but yeah
00:54:51
there's a very selfish to think that at
00:54:53
the same time yeah but it's got to be so
00:54:54
frustrating hey um it was and so I went
00:54:57
back to L.A and was a broke actor
00:54:59
well at least you were very experienced
00:55:02
for that role yeah I know how how broke
00:55:04
did you get see you went over there with
00:55:06
um some shortland Street cash yeah were
00:55:09
you quite good at saving and better yeah
00:55:11
so you went over there with a bit of
00:55:13
cash in the bank were you did you
00:55:14
managed to keep buying that or were you
00:55:15
working as a waiter or I was no I was I
00:55:18
mean I worked at this club for a little
00:55:20
bit I worked under the table as a
00:55:21
handyman I met a kiwi over there
00:55:24
um who was who did up apartments and
00:55:27
things oh yeah I I went on a deep dive
00:55:30
into your um yeah on your Instagram so I
00:55:32
was going to bring this up because
00:55:33
you've shared a lot on Instagram so
00:55:36
so you were flirting with a dude and it
00:55:38
was really weird
00:55:40
you caught him filming you as you were
00:55:42
sleeping one day yeah yeah right yeah
00:55:44
and this leads us to the Kiwi Garden
00:55:46
yeah so I basically picked my like we
00:55:49
had a bit of a fisty Cuffs in the
00:55:50
apartment and then I was and then I
00:55:52
packed my bags and lift so it was he
00:55:55
filming you sleep before yeah and you
00:55:57
caught him filming you were sleeping or
00:55:58
you saw a video of what I caught a chat
00:56:00
why what was this you sleep nude on top
00:56:03
of the duvet what
00:56:14
I mean a lot of Fringe people go there
00:56:16
you know so it's but I mean
00:56:19
yeah yeah like that was then there was
00:56:21
there was it for me and then so I
00:56:23
stormed out but I was like [ __ ] I have
00:56:24
nowhere to live and then this guy was
00:56:26
doing up the apartments nearby
00:56:28
and uh and he's like what's what's the
00:56:31
matter why are you picking your bags oh
00:56:32
[ __ ] I'm I believe I kicked out uh
00:56:35
this guy's filming me uh we had a bit of
00:56:37
a fisticuffs and he was like he's like
00:56:39
oh [ __ ] it all good we'll sort you out
00:56:41
what are you doing now I was like well
00:56:42
[ __ ] I've got acting class in bloody 30
00:56:44
minutes and he's like okay you just
00:56:46
leave your bags here and brother I was
00:56:47
like oh [ __ ] now I'm gonna get robbed
00:56:49
and so I went off to acting class and
00:56:52
then I came back pretty miserable and
00:56:54
and then by but by that I came back and
00:56:56
here there was this Empty Apartment that
00:56:58
he was doing up and he had moved all my
00:57:01
stuff in and he had fully furnished it
00:57:02
with stuff that you take from other
00:57:04
apartments that he that he was doing up
00:57:06
so I had like Basics you know couch and
00:57:08
he had taken a TV and he had wired the
00:57:10
cable from the neighbors and so I could
00:57:12
cable TV and stuff and he gave me a
00:57:14
beard and all that but he fully finished
00:57:15
this he borrowed a fridge from himself
00:57:17
spear fridge from someone fully finished
00:57:19
this apartment for me he goes live here
00:57:21
as long as you need to yeah and and I
00:57:23
just don't even worry about like just
00:57:24
pay us a little bit of rent but because
00:57:26
he was doing it up he didn't care so is
00:57:28
your immediate reaction Swedish or is it
00:57:30
like okay what's uh what's the cost
00:57:32
what's the price personally like Watts
00:57:35
not for that because he he you know that
00:57:38
just got Instinct of it yeah my gut
00:57:41
instinct was this guy is just surely
00:57:43
genuine like he is this is this is a
00:57:45
very genuine guy and like I was just
00:57:47
blown away by his generosity and he goes
00:57:49
look just just pay us a little bit of
00:57:51
rent and you can do some work for me as
00:57:53
well and I was like me yeah of course
00:57:55
was it was that the Kiwi going yeah yeah
00:57:57
so he's from waipawa and he used to yeah
00:58:00
so crazy was he used to drink at my
00:58:02
dad's Pub so I was just like yeah so
00:58:03
it's quite a weird connection because I
00:58:05
I suppose when um yeah if it was an
00:58:07
American dude you'd be like okay what
00:58:09
yeah yeah what's going on here but if
00:58:10
it's another kiwi you immediately oh
00:58:12
yeah I assume the best yeah not in a
00:58:14
kiwi but from Waipio and we're talking
00:58:15
about assault of the Earth as it gets
00:58:17
you know so he he so it was awesome and
00:58:20
I was just like man this is like those
00:58:21
moments in life for you just like cool
00:58:24
you know like it was such a cool outcome
00:58:26
to a shitty situation but that that
00:58:29
stuff happened to me all the time until
00:58:31
like
00:58:34
what mate I got one time I was driving
00:58:37
back from work as a handyman
00:58:39
I'm covered in [ __ ] Plaster
00:58:41
I stop at the stop lights and this guy
00:58:43
rolls up
00:58:44
next to me and he's in like a nice Audi
00:58:47
SUV
00:58:48
he looks like it like your classic like
00:58:50
accountant or something you know he's a
00:58:51
nice shirt on you know whatever really
00:58:54
well groomed once down the window he's
00:58:56
going to listen to me and I was like
00:58:57
what the [ __ ] so I put down my window
00:58:58
he's like it's like hey
00:59:00
are you a model and I was just like nah
00:59:03
and just like he's just like oh do you
00:59:06
want to be and I was just like
00:59:08
I don't know man why it was just like
00:59:11
he's like pull over the after the lights
00:59:13
and I was just like oh okay
00:59:15
oh so I can pull over
00:59:18
get out of the car and I kind of meet
00:59:20
him halfway between the cars like what's
00:59:22
up what's up how can I help you he's
00:59:24
like are you a model and I was like no
00:59:26
I'm not he's just like well I can do you
00:59:29
want to be one I can help you and I was
00:59:30
like what do you mean you can help me
00:59:32
what are you are you an agent or
00:59:34
something are you a scouter or something
00:59:35
it's just like no no but you know I
00:59:37
could I could get you some modeling work
00:59:39
and I was like
00:59:41
okay like what like friends or what are
00:59:44
we talking here
00:59:45
and he's like oh it would be private and
00:59:48
I was just like okay crazy what do you
00:59:50
mean private and he's like he's like
00:59:53
look
00:59:54
he's like I'm not I'm not gonna waste
00:59:58
he's sitting to their feet you know I'm
01:00:00
not going to beat around the bush he's
01:00:01
like
01:00:01
he had a wedding ring on by the way
01:00:04
and and he's like and he told me he had
01:00:07
kids as well and I was just like anyway
01:00:08
after the small talk he's like
01:00:10
would you be interested in in dancing
01:00:13
for me I was like sorry
01:00:16
he's like would you be uh interested in
01:00:19
dancing for me like once a week I was
01:00:21
like what do you mean [ __ ] dancing
01:00:22
for you he's like like privately uh
01:00:25
naked and I was like pardon he's like
01:00:29
I'll give you his first offer was 1500
01:00:32
bucks
01:00:33
to darts he's like but I was like I was
01:00:37
like no
01:00:38
he's like oh okay but you didn't even
01:00:41
hear the text dude [ __ ] no yeah he's
01:00:43
like he's like he's like what about two
01:00:44
grand I was like no
01:00:46
he's like but there'll be there'll be no
01:00:48
touching and I was like I was like I
01:00:50
don't give a [ __ ] mate like what are you
01:00:52
so you're gonna watch me strip and he's
01:00:54
like yeah I was like and and what
01:00:57
happens in this [ __ ] session he's
01:00:58
like well I won't be allowed to touch
01:01:00
you and I was like but what you can
01:01:02
[ __ ] jerk off he's like well yeah I
01:01:04
will jack off and I was like I was like
01:01:06
excuse me he's like yeah but but it
01:01:09
won't touch you and I was like I was
01:01:10
like mate you're not [ __ ] selling
01:01:12
this thing and then he's like he's like
01:01:15
what about three grand and he went up to
01:01:16
three and a half Grand and three and a
01:01:18
half million years
01:01:20
since history and then I moved into it
01:01:22
[Laughter]
01:01:25
I'm sorry mate but no amount of [ __ ]
01:01:28
money I'll [ __ ] do that for I'm sorry
01:01:30
like I can't I can't [ __ ] do it and
01:01:32
he's like okay well here's my number in
01:01:34
case you change your mind gives me his
01:01:36
number on the on the [ __ ] piece of
01:01:38
paper
01:01:38
and then he [ __ ] he tells me he's
01:01:41
like what about
01:01:43
um would you sell me your underwear you
01:01:46
said used to this no that's right this
01:01:48
is the this is this is a regret because
01:01:50
because he goes I was like my undies and
01:01:54
he's like he's like yeah I'll give you
01:01:55
150 per pair and I was and I was like I
01:01:58
was like what mate you don't want my
01:02:00
undies I [ __ ] I was like I was like
01:02:03
oh man I work as a handyman during the
01:02:05
day I sweat all day and then I go to
01:02:07
Jujitsu like these are not undies that
01:02:09
you want mate these are they'll [ __ ]
01:02:11
stink and he's he's like yeah he's like
01:02:15
he's like the dirtier the better and I
01:02:18
was just like you are [ __ ] cooked
01:02:20
mate and he's just he's full Immaculate
01:02:23
[ __ ] accountant professional and I
01:02:25
was just like blowing my mind reading
01:02:26
wedding ring I was just like what is the
01:02:30
what's nothing's making sense right now
01:02:33
so anyway and but I regret that because
01:02:35
what I should have done was say yes gone
01:02:37
to the op shop got some [ __ ] undies
01:02:39
and then sold it for 150 bucks but I
01:02:43
didn't I live in Lynn was he not
01:02:46
was it they're not like one Slither of
01:02:49
you okay so you you know you're broke
01:02:51
you're struggling in La you're not sure
01:02:52
where the next paycheck's coming from
01:02:54
when it gets up to three grand not even
01:02:56
a tiny putt that's like oh I could
01:02:58
probably what's the worst that could
01:03:00
happen you know you you think okay if he
01:03:02
tries anything I could defend myself
01:03:04
again no no because the image
01:03:07
that would haunt me for the rest of my
01:03:09
days it doesn't matter how much money
01:03:10
like the you know like the image the
01:03:16
image of him blowing his loads while I'm
01:03:19
stripping on a Friday night and in his
01:03:22
bedroom or whatever that that would
01:03:24
haunt me for the rest of my days and you
01:03:26
know and all like [ __ ] if you want to do
01:03:28
it all good all the power to you I know
01:03:30
whatever but for me I was like there's
01:03:32
no way that in the future when I have a
01:03:34
son and he's asking and I'm trying to
01:03:37
teach him to be a man in the world that
01:03:39
I can look him in their eyes and like
01:03:40
give them some some advice and and say
01:03:44
that with a with you know Integrity when
01:03:47
I've [ __ ] done that for three grand
01:03:48
you know there's no way I can raise a
01:03:50
son and be like hey man to be you know
01:03:52
to look this is how you walk as a man in
01:03:54
this world and then [ __ ] have this
01:03:57
memory of of some guy blown his load you
01:03:59
know and so like for me it was a
01:04:01
no-brainer just like no yeah this is
01:04:03
this is a short term it'll be a
01:04:05
short-term gratification or effects you
01:04:07
know of the three grand awesome [ __ ]
01:04:09
there's my there's there's my rent for
01:04:11
the month but like in the long term I
01:04:14
think the long-term effects or or or the
01:04:18
trade-off yeah you know it wasn't worth
01:04:20
it you know and yeah no
01:04:22
I I was like yeah and look maybe I was
01:04:25
wrong maybe [ __ ] my Integrity wasn't
01:04:27
worth it I don't know but but for me
01:04:29
personally in that moment and still to
01:04:32
this day I feel like I made the right
01:04:33
decision where do you think that comes
01:04:35
from the um current you looking out for
01:04:38
future you because I'm thinking first of
01:04:40
all full disclosure here like I've never
01:04:41
been handsome enough for someone to pull
01:04:43
me over and offer me that sort of money
01:04:45
so they can so I could dance for them
01:04:47
it's never happened would you do it well
01:04:50
how old were you at the time
01:04:53
27. I would like to look you in the eye
01:04:56
and say fact no but if I'd been in La
01:04:58
for a year and I was struggling and I
01:05:00
was broke maybe if the offered and I
01:05:03
don't know and I'm I'm full of
01:05:05
admiration for you for for having this
01:05:07
Line in the Sand [ __ ] no never attitude
01:05:10
but I don't know that I I'd like to say
01:05:12
I would but at the same age I don't know
01:05:13
if I would have yeah I don't know maybe
01:05:15
look I don't know who's right or wrong
01:05:17
that's the thing
01:05:18
you are like on on every on every level
01:05:21
like yeah I don't know turning it down
01:05:23
it was um moralistically everything was
01:05:25
the right thing to do and I'd like to
01:05:28
think I'd demonstrate that same
01:05:29
character but I've never had [ __ ] Ben
01:05:32
Affleck good looks you know thank you
01:05:35
but yeah no yeah I don't know just
01:05:38
that's just how it was and I I'm a firm
01:05:41
believer that you know how you do
01:05:43
anything is how you do everything you
01:05:46
know so I feel like that's a slippery
01:05:47
slope because then you're going oh [ __ ]
01:05:49
what else could I do for a bit of
01:05:50
[ __ ] cash you know maybe you know so
01:05:52
I yeah that's the thing once you've once
01:05:54
you've crossed that line once you've
01:05:55
opened that door yeah yeah I'd agree
01:05:57
yeah yeah and that you know it's full of
01:06:00
that that town is full of people who are
01:06:02
leveraging themselves to to get a hit on
01:06:05
whatever and you know all the power to
01:06:07
them [ __ ] maybe they're working and I'm
01:06:09
not so I don't know it's it's maybe that
01:06:12
maybe I didn't make the mistake but uh
01:06:14
I'd like to think that you can do it the
01:06:16
right way and with your morals intact
01:06:18
and I'm a firm believer that I can and I
01:06:20
am you know and I will yeah
01:06:23
you see that on actually both those
01:06:25
stories you share them on um Instagram I
01:06:27
think it was like January or February
01:06:28
2019. there was um like a bunch of like
01:06:30
really nice black and white photos of
01:06:32
you in the water and then all these um
01:06:34
incredibly like vulnerable and personal
01:06:36
posts that you shared why was that was
01:06:39
it like a theme month or anything was it
01:06:40
a phase you were going to
01:06:42
uh my sister's shot though she's she's a
01:06:44
she's a beautiful beautiful photographer
01:06:46
and she's very talented and uh she was
01:06:49
interested in doing something like that
01:06:51
and I think at that time 2019
01:06:54
just come back from LA and so I was in a
01:06:57
very reflective mood and I was in a very
01:06:59
not healing but I was trying to work out
01:07:03
or navigate my way
01:07:06
back from LA and so I went back to
01:07:08
Hawke's Bay and for a year and just
01:07:10
tried to re-ground myself and
01:07:12
and try and
01:07:14
settle myself because I felt really all
01:07:16
scattered and stuff and I think
01:07:18
I said to her I said look I'd be
01:07:20
interested in kind of doing these shots
01:07:24
and pairing them with
01:07:26
honest stories because I I felt like one
01:07:29
Instagram is never on honest you know
01:07:31
like a lot of business no it's
01:07:32
completely um curated yeah yeah so it's
01:07:35
only the side and I felt like it was
01:07:37
only a it's only ever the side that you
01:07:39
want people to see and especially in my
01:07:42
industry it's always the good and the
01:07:44
it's always the the positives and the
01:07:46
good stories and all that and I felt
01:07:48
like maybe I could be a bit honest about
01:07:50
because everyone thinks you know La it's
01:07:53
all it's all good but like I was like
01:07:55
there's the stories on the side of LA or
01:07:57
actors going to La That You Don't See
01:07:59
and that a lot of people don't want to
01:08:01
talk about and a lot of uh because it's
01:08:03
hard you know because it's a it [ __ ]
01:08:05
beats you down and a lot of people don't
01:08:07
want to talk about that side of it but I
01:08:08
just felt like
01:08:09
maybe it was a bit therapeutic for me to
01:08:12
to express the truth of of what I what I
01:08:16
what what I went through there and
01:08:17
that's a great series of posts yeah I've
01:08:20
always wondered whether it was a bit too
01:08:21
whether I should delete them or whether
01:08:22
you know whether I shouldn't have been
01:08:24
that honest and whether there's you know
01:08:26
it's better to be a bit keep things to
01:08:28
yourself a bit more but
01:08:31
um
01:08:32
I don't I never wanted to
01:08:35
sugarcoat LA or to be like you know
01:08:38
because it's it's it was it was a rough
01:08:40
time and I had a rough time and I just
01:08:43
wanted to be honest about it you know
01:08:45
it's just like because that is a reality
01:08:47
for
01:08:48
um you know there was tough stories out
01:08:50
there you know but
01:08:52
yeah I've got another one here this is
01:08:54
from February the February 2019 same
01:08:56
sequence of photos uh one of my good
01:08:59
friends has just had just committed
01:09:00
suicide I was off to settle a two-year
01:09:03
legal battle my birthday was a week away
01:09:04
and then my girlfriend left me out of
01:09:06
the blue some weasel club owner offered
01:09:08
her a trip to Greece and whined and
01:09:10
dined here I don't hold a grudge and a
01:09:12
world of endless choices and upgrades I
01:09:14
hope she picked the right one my only
01:09:16
regret is letting go of the ones who had
01:09:17
treated me better first of all sorry
01:09:19
about you sorry about your mate
01:09:22
there was a tough time there was a
01:09:24
really that man that was well first I
01:09:27
lost my dad then my my granny who I was
01:09:31
very close to my granny and I were very
01:09:32
close then my by Papa so my granddad
01:09:36
then
01:09:37
um
01:09:38
committed suicide
01:09:40
so he died and then
01:09:43
um pip my a friend of mine who was also
01:09:47
my girlfriend at one point she committed
01:09:49
suicide and
01:09:52
it was just like by that point I just
01:09:54
lost so many people I was just like in a
01:09:57
short amount of time this was all within
01:10:00
probably nine months yeah I was I was
01:10:03
just
01:10:04
numb like when when I got told
01:10:06
I can't I think pick was the last one I
01:10:08
just
01:10:10
I I remember just feeling numb and I
01:10:12
almost like
01:10:15
didn't get upset straight away because I
01:10:17
was just like
01:10:18
I I didn't know my I didn't know how to
01:10:21
take it anymore you know by that point I
01:10:23
was just like I don't even know how to
01:10:24
take this news and so
01:10:27
it wasn't until I think a day later that
01:10:29
I just
01:10:30
broke down and started crying because it
01:10:32
took that long for my body to process it
01:10:34
all
01:10:35
but then there was that and then
01:10:38
I forgot about that and then the
01:10:40
girlfriend left me and and you know and
01:10:42
I was so vulnerable that point you know
01:10:44
insecure and
01:10:46
because obviously I was I was struggling
01:10:50
in LA and trying to make
01:10:52
and I wasn't you know at a point where I
01:10:55
was
01:10:55
I was working as a handyman stuff but I
01:10:57
was
01:10:59
feeling always feeling very insecure and
01:11:01
then that happened and she left me for a
01:11:03
guy with money so that [ __ ] me up and
01:11:05
I was just like [ __ ] you know you know
01:11:07
this is this is this is this is it's a
01:11:11
lot it doesn't really get worse I was
01:11:13
like can it get worse I don't [ __ ]
01:11:14
know anymore like you know I thought I
01:11:16
thought I thought my dad dying was the
01:11:18
worst it would get but
01:11:19
no so keep rolling the punches and I
01:11:22
think at that point I just went [ __ ] it
01:11:24
what else have give me what else have
01:11:26
you got for me [ __ ] you know like
01:11:29
it was it was just the worst [ __ ]
01:11:33
role of of of punches to be honest and
01:11:36
then
01:11:37
and just to have that person you know
01:11:39
your girlfriend or your partner to to
01:11:42
Blindside you like that how long were
01:11:44
you together yeah right but to like
01:11:48
you know at that moment for her to leave
01:11:50
at that moment like she because she knew
01:11:52
about my friends you know my friend
01:11:54
committed suicide and the other people
01:11:56
in my life that had died and all that so
01:11:58
she was there for me and all that and
01:12:01
you know within
01:12:02
she it was the week of the last person
01:12:05
committing suicide that she left me it
01:12:07
was in that week
01:12:09
and I was just like
01:12:12
how what are you doing not only that I'm
01:12:14
not only that but the day before she
01:12:16
admitted to it that she was off with the
01:12:18
stew that she'd run off
01:12:21
um she she called me and she'd been with
01:12:24
her family and her nieces and nephews
01:12:26
and stuff and she talked about she was
01:12:28
like oh
01:12:28
she was talking about how much she
01:12:30
wanted kids with me and she what was I
01:12:32
wanted to move back to New Zealand with
01:12:33
me and start a family and stuff and I
01:12:35
was like amazing and then two days later
01:12:38
boom
01:12:39
done just you know and I was just like
01:12:41
[ __ ] this crazy how's your mental health
01:12:45
been over the years you seemed like a
01:12:46
really resilient guy uh I don't know if
01:12:48
that's something that you've always had
01:12:49
or that you've had to develop over the
01:12:52
years with this industry that you've
01:12:53
chosen but you you mental health mostly
01:12:56
mean good
01:12:58
I don't think so no
01:13:00
um
01:13:01
you're resilient is key and and
01:13:04
Jiu Jitsu has helped me a lot
01:13:06
look
01:13:08
my mum wanted me to go to therapy and
01:13:11
and you know she she thought I should
01:13:13
after my dad died and after all this
01:13:15
stuff I probably should have
01:13:17
um but I didn't want to because
01:13:19
and this is probably quite a
01:13:21
controversial
01:13:22
thing to talk and you know I'd love to
01:13:23
talk to more men about mental health
01:13:25
because I think it's important it's
01:13:26
really hard as a kiwi male to talk about
01:13:28
it you know you know like yeah it is I
01:13:31
feel I feel like we're getting better
01:13:32
but um I'm older than you I'm 50 now and
01:13:34
I yeah I was from a generation where you
01:13:36
didn't show any sort of vulnerability
01:13:38
actually you're probably the same
01:13:39
Hawke's Bay in the 90s you know showing
01:13:42
any sort of weakness because it could be
01:13:43
weaponized against you or but
01:13:46
the problem was is that I felt like
01:13:48
therapy doesn't help like
01:13:50
again probably going to divide a few
01:13:52
people on this but I don't think therapy
01:13:54
for men helps because for me I don't
01:13:57
think men seek validation for their
01:13:58
feelings I don't want someone to
01:14:01
validate my feelings and go oh so you
01:14:03
did because they don't have the solution
01:14:04
and that's my problem with that was my
01:14:07
problem with therapy is that they're not
01:14:09
going to give me a Magic Bullet or or a
01:14:12
solution yes it's nice to talk about my
01:14:13
feelings but to be honest I'd rather sit
01:14:15
down with a very good friend of mine you
01:14:17
know a guy mate and talk to him I would
01:14:20
rather vet as opposed to paying someone
01:14:22
300 an hour for them to tell me yeah
01:14:24
you're right although they do as someone
01:14:25
that has been there and does swear by it
01:14:27
they give you a different way of flat
01:14:29
framing things and looking things I'll
01:14:30
give you another example I could I could
01:14:33
get up on stage next to you and someone
01:14:34
hand me a script and I'll I'll read it
01:14:36
and pretend to be someone else and then
01:14:38
you get up and you've had years of
01:14:40
training years of experience years of
01:14:41
Hard Knocks you know what to do you're
01:14:43
trained and you're qualified so sitting
01:14:46
down and talking with a good friend I
01:14:47
agree that's [ __ ] great but they
01:14:49
don't know the necessarily the right
01:14:50
thing to say or they can't unless you've
01:14:53
got a really really wise friend but they
01:14:56
probably can't but therapists are good
01:14:57
at saying you know okay what about this
01:14:59
and then it gives you a different way of
01:15:00
looking at it but I understand the cost
01:15:02
is very prohibitive for a lot of people
01:15:03
if you're down to your last 300 you know
01:15:05
well yeah yeah and look the cost isn't
01:15:07
an issue but it's it's more just I felt
01:15:10
like if they're not going to give me a
01:15:11
solution then I don't feel like I just
01:15:14
feel like one it's time and time is
01:15:15
valuable and two it's it's money and
01:15:17
three it's it's really just going to
01:15:20
give me another way to look at it rather
01:15:22
than the problem solve but you're
01:15:24
probably right and look I I I I I I
01:15:26
should probably give it a go but I I
01:15:28
always felt like Jiu Jitsu was my
01:15:30
therapy yeah because
01:15:31
which probably isn't right here as well
01:15:33
but and I'm not saying I'm [ __ ] right
01:15:35
either no no no no
01:15:37
honestly it's um incredibly safe space
01:15:40
here no there's no there's no right or
01:15:41
wrong but you've got to like you you
01:15:44
gotta fend for yourself when it comes to
01:15:45
your mental health and you've got to
01:15:47
work out what tools you need in your
01:15:48
toolbox if it's going on going in the
01:15:50
sauna or going in a nice bath great but
01:15:51
you've got to work out what it is
01:15:52
because no one else can do that for you
01:15:54
maybe it doesn't involve therapy and if
01:15:56
it doesn't then that's that's fine too
01:15:57
yeah look and none of those so like
01:15:59
Jujitsu doesn't solve it either Jiu
01:16:00
Jitsu doesn't magically give me a
01:16:02
solution but what it does do is clears
01:16:05
my head gives me an outlet it it strips
01:16:09
back to a primal level of survival which
01:16:12
which is probably good in those times
01:16:14
like it stops the complications of over
01:16:17
analyzing overthinking it takes it right
01:16:19
back to like you know fight or flight
01:16:23
and uh and also you know I I I obviously
01:16:27
do saunas and Ice bars as well and all
01:16:29
that stuff helps and and I've found
01:16:32
through listening to guys like Goggins
01:16:34
and and Jocko willink like that has
01:16:36
helped me as well hearing those kind of
01:16:38
guys talk about because I still believe
01:16:41
they're
01:16:42
they they're good at dealing I mean you
01:16:46
know they're seals and so they've got
01:16:47
they've got a lot of trauma and stuff as
01:16:49
well but the way they deal with it is a
01:16:51
lot different than to to just like an
01:16:53
outpouring of emotion it's more of a
01:16:55
practical approach of like and I and I I
01:16:58
kind of lean towards that a little bit
01:16:59
more
01:17:01
um but that's that's just me I may be
01:17:02
wrong I'm open to new things
01:17:05
but no I I love I love both those guys
01:17:08
as well
01:17:09
um yeah Goggins can be a little bit
01:17:10
hardcore like
01:17:12
um but um
01:17:13
I think I think uh yeah I think we we
01:17:16
need that a bit more you know like I
01:17:19
think um well you got yeah the thing I
01:17:21
like about them is um the level of
01:17:23
personal accountability like you've got
01:17:24
to look after yourself no one's coming
01:17:26
to save you you've got to save yourself
01:17:28
um have you always been quite resilient
01:17:29
or yes I think since I got
01:17:32
you know going full circle back to
01:17:34
Diabetes Type 1 diabetes I think that
01:17:37
taught me to be resilient because that
01:17:39
was really my first major major knock
01:17:41
you know the first thing that I went oh
01:17:43
[ __ ] I have to deal with this thing that
01:17:45
I wasn't expecting to deal with
01:17:46
it's not something I can just push away
01:17:48
it's not something I can shelve like I
01:17:51
have to literally deal with this on a
01:17:52
day-to-day basis so how am I going to do
01:17:54
this without playing a victim and I
01:17:56
never wanted to be a victim and be like
01:17:57
oh [ __ ] diabetes ruined my life uh
01:18:00
just trying to be like no [ __ ] how do
01:18:02
I deal with this and so I think from
01:18:03
that age from 15 going oh [ __ ] well this
01:18:07
is how I can attack every
01:18:09
problem I guess but
01:18:11
um
01:18:12
I don't know maybe yeah [ __ ] I think my
01:18:14
dad was very resilient too so maybe that
01:18:16
just getting those jeans maybe or
01:18:18
something like that but
01:18:20
um again I don't I don't think I'd be in
01:18:23
this industry if if I wasn't resilient
01:18:25
because oh you have to be don't you yeah
01:18:27
you have to be so I think there's just a
01:18:29
mix of everything that went on with my
01:18:31
life that was just allowed me to be
01:18:33
resilient but [ __ ] me don't don't get me
01:18:35
wrong like I don't I I definitely have
01:18:37
horrible days and
01:18:40
um yeah very some Doc days and I'll
01:18:44
bring down some dark holes and stuff and
01:18:46
if I went to a therapist I'm pretty sure
01:18:48
they'd say that I've got depression but
01:18:49
really yeah I reckon yeah like
01:18:53
um depression is and like a chemical
01:18:55
balance or yeah I think so yeah really
01:18:58
yeah
01:18:59
um so I think I have um like
01:19:01
circumstantial depression so major that
01:19:05
we made your life upheavals yeah like um
01:19:07
I've been through some fertility staff
01:19:08
and a marriage breakup and I think that
01:19:10
causes it but I think for the most part
01:19:11
I'm I'm pretty good I don't know how are
01:19:14
you feeling today
01:19:17
I wasn't feeling sharp yesterday yeah
01:19:18
yeah yeah just one of those days yeah
01:19:20
it's just it's just yeah sometimes those
01:19:22
are just the clouds seem a bit darker
01:19:24
and so trying to try and flip that and
01:19:26
just be like why you know what are you
01:19:28
let's look at some positives here let's
01:19:30
look at the good things and
01:19:32
um but um
01:19:34
so just trying to
01:19:37
be aware of myself and just kind of not
01:19:39
catch myself out but just kind of take a
01:19:41
sit back and go okay what are you
01:19:42
feeling right now what are you
01:19:44
let's let's check in there like why are
01:19:46
you why are you getting so agitated in
01:19:48
this moment why are you taking it out on
01:19:51
this person
01:19:52
so yeah is that how your depression
01:19:55
looks so you just get frustrated yeah
01:19:57
yeah yeah yeah well and and just
01:19:58
withdraw you know just withdraw from
01:20:00
from people and things and
01:20:03
um
01:20:05
so I I saw you know Step One is
01:20:08
awareness right so just being aware of
01:20:10
my habits and going oh [ __ ] okay what
01:20:12
are you why are you doing that today you
01:20:14
know so because there was nothing to be
01:20:17
upset about yesterday you know there's
01:20:19
no major thing went wrong you know
01:20:21
whatever you know so and that's why I
01:20:22
like those guys like Jocko because Jocko
01:20:25
helps me see that you know like his
01:20:27
whole ethos and it's in bad situations
01:20:29
is to go good you know
01:20:31
the car broke down good it does this
01:20:34
blah blah you know so I was like so
01:20:35
taking ownership you know so yeah and
01:20:37
that helps me that definitely has helped
01:20:39
me so um yeah I've found that very
01:20:42
useful yeah
01:20:44
um
01:20:44
that's good
01:20:46
yeah everyone's going through Shadow you
01:20:48
just never know yeah yeah and that's
01:20:50
part of growing up I usually you kind of
01:20:52
realize that you know and no one again
01:20:54
no one no one gets out of it scot-free
01:20:56
everyone's going to deal through some
01:20:57
some stuff and I think the more of a
01:20:59
rich and fulfilling life you're living
01:21:01
the more like mistakes you're gonna make
01:21:03
the more you're gonna love people and
01:21:05
then when you lose them it's gonna
01:21:06
[ __ ] hurt yeah
01:21:08
um but the only way to circum devicate
01:21:10
that is to lock yourself up not have any
01:21:12
meaningful relationships don't take any
01:21:13
risks in your life and uh that's not
01:21:16
even living your life but the flip side
01:21:17
of that is those you know yes things can
01:21:20
go wrong things do go wrong but like
01:21:21
when it goes right it's it's [ __ ]
01:21:23
worth it all you know
01:21:25
relationships is like man if if you if
01:21:29
if
01:21:30
you I could give up after the amount of
01:21:33
failed relationships or whatever but at
01:21:35
the same time when it works man that's
01:21:36
the most beautiful thing ever you know
01:21:38
when someone loves you and you love them
01:21:40
and there's [ __ ] no no other feeling
01:21:42
like that you know yeah it's the same
01:21:44
with career you know audition [ __ ]
01:21:46
sucks getting getting the call to say
01:21:48
that you didn't get it or someone else
01:21:50
got it or this person the same but yeah
01:21:53
[ __ ] sucks ass but when you get that
01:21:55
call to say that you've got it it's
01:21:57
worth all those rejections it's worth it
01:22:00
all yeah yeah Goggins talks about
01:22:02
callousing your mind you're definitely
01:22:03
doing that with the auditions yeah yeah
01:22:04
100 yeah are you seeing anyone at the
01:22:07
moment are you in love at the moment no
01:22:09
no I'm single yeah and and the happily
01:22:12
single not it's not actively looking or
01:22:14
uh
01:22:16
I would say I'm definitely open I'm
01:22:19
definitely
01:22:19
I'm definitely ready for that stage of
01:22:21
my life I'm definitely really I really
01:22:24
look forward to
01:22:25
having another life partner and
01:22:28
and having a family with them and and
01:22:31
doing all that like it's something I
01:22:33
really look forward to and I hope that
01:22:35
comes along soon and yeah yeah and
01:22:37
what's next on the the acting front
01:22:39
so just doing
01:22:41
um waiting for this film to come out
01:22:42
which is in two weeks and just doing the
01:22:45
promo work for that and and just
01:22:47
ensuring that
01:22:48
um just waiting for that
01:22:50
and hopefully that does well and that
01:22:52
gets into some other film festivals
01:22:54
around the world
01:22:55
and then from there hopefully a bit of
01:22:57
exposure and maybe that will you know
01:23:00
that will spruce up some interest in
01:23:02
things and oh that's at home kills home
01:23:05
kills yeah it looks really good I've
01:23:06
seen the trailer online yeah so what's
01:23:08
the synopsis
01:23:10
uh so the synopsis so it's it's uh like
01:23:15
a butchery's struggling butcher there's
01:23:17
two two brothers who take over their
01:23:19
their dead father's home kills business
01:23:22
uh they're strapped for cash the
01:23:24
business is failing
01:23:25
and so they find themselves unwillingly
01:23:29
well
01:23:30
they find themselves accidentally
01:23:33
getting into a body disposal business so
01:23:35
they start getting rid of bodies and
01:23:37
putting them through the meat grinder
01:23:38
and turning them into dog rolls and
01:23:40
and then from there the two brothers are
01:23:42
very different so you've got Mark and
01:23:44
Tom
01:23:45
marks all for this new Venture in fact
01:23:47
he wants to get rid of people and now
01:23:50
start killing people and disposing the
01:23:51
bodies and Tom who I play is he doesn't
01:23:55
want any part of it but also it's
01:23:57
bringing him money and helping them get
01:23:58
the business back on track and entwined
01:24:00
and all that there's you know there's a
01:24:02
local gang and there's like a bit of a
01:24:05
mess thing going on so it's it's it's a
01:24:08
really kind of
01:24:12
it's dark but it's it's funny it's funny
01:24:15
in Parts it's not it's not slapstick
01:24:16
funny it's it's like it's not a bleak
01:24:18
comedy yeah more like more like Coen
01:24:20
Brothers kind of Comedy you know so
01:24:23
um it's there's funny moments but it's
01:24:25
not
01:24:26
trying to be funny yeah it's funny
01:24:28
because the circumstances it's small
01:24:30
town New Zealand so a lot of relatable
01:24:31
characters and a lot of uh a lot of
01:24:35
relatable issues and a lot of relatable
01:24:36
kind of current events
01:24:39
um looking at that small town and just
01:24:40
how dark and deep those small towns can
01:24:43
kind of go
01:24:44
and they really can especially with the
01:24:46
myth angle it's huge in the smooth towns
01:24:49
yeah I just feel like the smaller the
01:24:52
town the deeper the secrets
01:24:54
and so there's something in there yeah
01:24:56
yeah yeah so it's it's a very
01:24:58
interesting look at that small town New
01:24:59
Zealand uh life and the cinematography
01:25:02
is obviously beautiful and
01:25:04
cinematographer on that was amazing and
01:25:06
the shots alone are [ __ ] amazing it
01:25:09
was real cheap right like made for a
01:25:10
quarter of a million which sounds like
01:25:12
an alarming amount of money but
01:25:17
super low vote you know that's not much
01:25:19
money at all what what they did for that
01:25:21
money
01:25:22
incredible you know like
01:25:25
that's that Curie Ingenuity coming out
01:25:27
though you know that that so calling in
01:25:29
favors from mates and all infos and that
01:25:31
was one of the good things about doing
01:25:32
it and we shot it all around matamata
01:25:36
waikato
01:25:38
and that was one of the good things
01:25:39
about doing around there because unlike
01:25:41
Auckland where it's a bit of a film
01:25:42
scene
01:25:43
you'd go to the we'd need a shoot at a
01:25:45
pub and the pub would just be like you
01:25:46
all we want is a sign poster
01:25:49
and and you can use exactly you know
01:25:51
things like that or or extras you know
01:25:53
everyone would do things for a box of
01:25:54
beers or this or that so you were able
01:25:57
to do a lot more and stretch that budget
01:25:59
out and and no one was making big money
01:26:01
like it was you know it's not like one
01:26:02
person was making a whole lot of money
01:26:04
it was it was everyone was really
01:26:06
everyone really did above and beyond
01:26:08
like work to to make this happen and and
01:26:12
that's why it felt so magical was like
01:26:14
everyone believed in the story everyone
01:26:16
believed in the project and so you had
01:26:18
all these people that would usually be
01:26:19
getting paid a lot more doing a lot more
01:26:23
for for the lesson and they were very
01:26:25
happy to do it because we all there was
01:26:27
a real magic feeling and uh while we
01:26:30
were shooting and and and I felt it and
01:26:32
everyone else had that same feeling and
01:26:34
it was it was just like oh we've got
01:26:36
something really that's a rush special
01:26:38
here so it's got like a film festival
01:26:40
release uh is it gonna have like a like
01:26:42
a broader release after that what
01:26:44
happens I believe the way it works is so
01:26:46
we'll have the New Zealand International
01:26:47
Film Festival
01:26:49
then they'll do uh submit it to other
01:26:51
film festivals you have like Toronto and
01:26:53
there's like you know South by Southwest
01:26:55
all the big ones Cairns and all that
01:26:57
you submit them to those and then within
01:27:00
this is how I think it work my
01:27:02
understanding of it so I could be wrong
01:27:03
but from there a distributor will see it
01:27:06
well you know you'll try and Shop it to
01:27:08
distributors and they're like you know
01:27:10
the big studios and stuff and they will
01:27:12
purchase it from those film festivals
01:27:14
and go yep we're going to buy it so like
01:27:16
uh
01:27:18
so so they'll they'll take the rights
01:27:21
and then they'll do a cinematic
01:27:23
distribution so we'll do it we'll do
01:27:26
like Auckland Wellington Hamilton kind
01:27:28
of it'll do like all the whoever's
01:27:30
involved in the International Film
01:27:31
Festival and then as well as the film
01:27:33
festivals overseas and then Distributors
01:27:36
will be at those film festivals and go
01:27:37
oh [ __ ] we like yeah we'll [ __ ] we'll
01:27:40
pay for this for the right to this and
01:27:42
then from there that's when it explodes
01:27:43
because then you know who knows whether
01:27:45
it's a streamer that picks it up and
01:27:47
goes yeah we'll give you we'll take it
01:27:49
or maybe a cinematic release and they go
01:27:51
yeah we'll pump it out to this many
01:27:53
theaters throughout the world and blah
01:27:54
blah so that's where that's what we're
01:27:56
trying to do is generate because if it
01:27:58
does well like if you know if sales out
01:28:00
and does well the festival gets a bit of
01:28:02
heat then people then that will prick
01:28:04
the ears of the Distributors up and
01:28:06
they'll be like oh [ __ ] let's look at
01:28:07
this oh [ __ ] it's pretty cool let's do
01:28:09
that I mean that's happened time and
01:28:11
time we get tight and stuff yeah so it's
01:28:12
like yeah for sure so it's it's that's
01:28:15
what's exciting is like I thought it
01:28:17
really does have potential like I
01:28:19
wouldn't have done it if if I didn't
01:28:20
believe in it or didn't believe it had
01:28:21
potential
01:28:22
so I'm I haven't seen it I'm super
01:28:26
excited to see it
01:28:28
um the shots alone beautiful
01:28:31
um just the the mood and the the world
01:28:34
of small town New Zealand something I've
01:28:36
always thought was
01:28:37
not done enough
01:28:39
um and just cool you know just very very
01:28:41
cool dark but funny you know good
01:28:44
moments but the the people working on it
01:28:47
were phenomenal the actors
01:28:49
um if I'm really poor yeah pulled their
01:28:52
hearts out into a day so it's called
01:28:53
home kills what's your character's name
01:28:55
Tom Tom definitely sounds like the sort
01:28:58
of guy that would um let someone jack
01:28:59
off in front of him for money no he's
01:29:02
definitely not he is a man of principle
01:29:04
of moral he is so straight yeah he's
01:29:07
killing people in the backyard well
01:29:09
that's where yeah so that's yeah that's
01:29:12
that's the whole Twist of the movie is
01:29:14
Tom starts yeah so he's struggling I'm
01:29:17
struggling with his moral compass just
01:29:19
like you know which I wasn't doing but
01:29:21
you know but but uh yeah Tom struggles
01:29:24
with his moral compass and and he's
01:29:27
trying to feed he's got a newborn on the
01:29:29
way and he's got a his partner that he's
01:29:31
trying to take care of he's got this
01:29:33
psycho brother who's just an absolute
01:29:36
Wild Card who's just off the rails and
01:29:39
just going off and doing [ __ ] and
01:29:40
getting them in trouble and you know
01:29:42
he's doing [ __ ] with the gang so piss
01:29:45
them off and so he's got to look after
01:29:47
that and and so and that's the struggle
01:29:50
and and that's why I love the character
01:29:52
was that he kind of represents that kiwi
01:29:55
every man of what we were just talking
01:29:57
about with mental health you know this
01:29:58
guy who's
01:29:59
who would never talk to anyone about his
01:30:01
health and just suppresses everything
01:30:03
and that's you know part of the film
01:30:05
where it goes is you know you can only
01:30:08
bubble under the surface so long before
01:30:09
it [ __ ] explodes right yeah 100 and
01:30:12
that's that's Tom he's trying to keep
01:30:14
his partner you know happy and he's
01:30:16
trying to provide for her he's trying to
01:30:17
provide for his newborn he's trying to
01:30:19
keep this crazy brother Under Wraps he's
01:30:22
he's got the failing business so like
01:30:24
but he's always calm and Collective
01:30:26
because he is that kiwi guy who's just
01:30:28
good Under Pressure yeah but you know
01:30:31
it's that pressure that builds that's
01:30:33
that's what's interesting he's like a
01:30:34
you know that's
01:30:36
a bit of a volcano there you know what
01:30:38
do you reckon your dad would make of all
01:30:40
this the movie that you're in now yeah
01:30:42
yeah yeah yeah I think you'd love it
01:30:44
what would he make of this chat we've
01:30:45
had today with you being um so open and
01:30:47
vulnerable about your mental health and
01:30:49
your feelings
01:30:51
I I don't know you did from a barrister
01:30:54
he'd watch it he would he would 100 he'd
01:30:58
probably call me up and and just be like
01:31:00
yeah it was a good interview and uh yeah
01:31:03
it was good that was good yeah that
01:31:05
would be it would be you know but that's
01:31:06
enough uh yeah so he wouldn't dive into
01:31:08
it or what elaborate maybe maybe how
01:31:11
stuff would go
01:31:18
what's something going on is it yeah so
01:31:20
maybe a bit of that but it would mainly
01:31:22
just be like yeah it's good it's good
01:31:24
it's good yeah yeah I don't know I I
01:31:25
wonder if um
01:31:27
like that
01:31:28
um that last conversation you had with
01:31:30
him obviously it came from a place from
01:31:32
his perspective of I don't know fear or
01:31:34
trepidation or nerves or whatever
01:31:36
um but maybe it would have like set the
01:31:39
the platform for him so that he could be
01:31:42
more open with um his feelings about you
01:31:44
because I feel like yeah his generation
01:31:45
yeah they were never allowed to vocalize
01:31:48
those things yeah yeah and he came from
01:31:51
his father was super staunch old school
01:31:54
you know he was a captain of the Navy
01:31:57
and very [ __ ] hard on him yeah yeah
01:32:01
so it was it was very ingrained in him I
01:32:03
think so I think it's just kind of
01:32:06
different Generations you know different
01:32:09
different uh
01:32:11
views on what a man should be and all
01:32:14
that yeah and you can't you can't have a
01:32:16
chip on your shoulder about it because
01:32:17
everyone's just doing the best they can
01:32:19
with the information resources they have
01:32:21
just like in 50 years time we'll
01:32:23
probably look a bit you know people look
01:32:24
back at the way we act and be like man
01:32:26
those guys that's not how a man is
01:32:28
yes I don't know yeah it's always going
01:32:31
to evolve that's a part of life and
01:32:34
human you know human nature is just to
01:32:37
keep evolving and learning and that
01:32:39
that's why I don't get too worried about
01:32:40
it because I just think you know I'm
01:32:41
yeah I [ __ ] up and I make I've
01:32:43
definitely made mistakes
01:32:44
uh but as long as I'm learning from them
01:32:46
and being aware of those mistakes uh
01:32:49
that that's growth you know 100 Ian
01:32:51
you've got to keep making the mistakes
01:32:52
yeah you have to you have to and you
01:32:54
said something before like about um
01:32:56
you know you thought when you left short
01:32:57
on stream with L.A you thought you were
01:32:58
a man and you look back now and you
01:33:00
weren't
01:33:01
um as someone that's 50 sitting in front
01:33:03
of you I can tell you like when when you
01:33:04
get to 50 you'll look back on this now
01:33:06
and think I was a man then but I and I
01:33:08
think that's the exciting thing you
01:33:09
never reach that point where it's like
01:33:10
I'm done yeah I know everything yeah
01:33:14
yeah and I think that's the exciting
01:33:16
thing about life yeah yeah it's
01:33:17
beautiful and I think
01:33:19
um well yeah I'm looking forward to that
01:33:21
you know I'm looking forward to
01:33:22
reflecting on those
01:33:24
uh moments and reflecting on
01:33:27
how I am now and all that but like as
01:33:29
long as I'm happy in the prison and
01:33:31
being present
01:33:32
that's important you know as long as I'm
01:33:34
not trying to be something I'm not or
01:33:35
I'm trying to unless it's for a role in
01:33:38
which case yeah
01:33:42
um but you know as long as I'm being
01:33:44
true to myself in the present [ __ ] you
01:33:46
or what more can you ask for yeah are
01:33:49
you a good dude I think your dad would
01:33:50
be immensely proud no I think so yeah
01:33:52
yeah
01:33:53
um thanks so much cam for coming over
01:33:55
today and uh good luck for what the
01:33:56
future brings hopefully it's [ __ ]
01:33:58
great things you deserve it man thank
01:33:59
you yeah yeah thank you I appreciate
01:34:01
that not a not an industry for the faint
01:34:03
no it's not for the crazy
01:34:10
um but you're aware of it and um I
01:34:12
appreciate the insights today you're a
01:34:14
good man cool thank you Tom this is
01:34:18
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