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I think I think we're we're starting. Hello and welcome to Fly on the Wall
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without a guess is what we call it with our segment called Standing or Sitting. So, uh we talk about news and
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what's going on and we don't really know anything and everyone loves to point that out.
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We're two idiots talking. Who cares? Good for us. So, uh we have strong opinions. We're
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passionate alpha males and we we want to express ourselves, but we we we're not
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saying we're correct, but right, by the way, I saw I'm watching right now another rough cut of Bus Boys.
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It's getting closer to being shown to people. Show it to people. We have no
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bosses. People don't know this. We paid for ourselves. We're just going to show it. See if anybody wants to put out
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anywhere. or we'll just put it out and say press here by watch.
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So, well, I've only heard Yeah. about Buzz Boys for quite some time.
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Yes. And I'm uh maybe too long. No, but I haven't seen a frame.
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Not nothing. Just hearing about like what what do you guys look like together? Where are you
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going? How's it shot? I'm very very curious. Yeah. I'll show you one quick uh like
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one minute thing we have about it. like a not a real trailer, but something Theo shows on the road. Well,
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I'm excited. It's a silly comedy. Yeah. So, basically, as long as a basic story
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tracks, but no one's going to leave it going, that story tracks so well. But just enough. And then you need I'd say
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in an 80minute movie, you probably need three banger scenes. I'm serious. And
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then other other little laughs, but or at least two big scenes. That's all you really need.
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You just need some memorable ones. Remember Deuce Bigalow Schneider? The movie that did great was really sold off
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the trailer with him in gravity inversion boats swinging and hitting an
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aquarium and ripping it down and a full stunt crash, fish and water everywhere.
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And it was like I'm going to that. I think that um yeah there that you could
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you know a lot sometimes with comedies I think Rob queued into that if the sound broke
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like you you didn't have any sound you still would be laughing a lot of the time you know funny with the sound off I
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remember in the be the beginning Schneider had some guy go use the
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restroom and he he was peeing for like two minutes and it was like a fire hose
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and it was just Rob's reaction So, yeah, that's funny. It was just Yeah, there's some stuff. So, we'll see.
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And uh we'll catch up more on that later. Um in the news, there's a big uh
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mention of this Epstein files thing. Mhm. Any thoughts on that?
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It's kind of the news of the week. I I would set the table with this idea
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that it's not like an overriding obsession with me,
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but the secondary premise is is is anyone anywhere in the world,
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someone of power or government or politician or important person quote
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unquote hiding something? Is there because the circumstances of how he died?
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He attempted suicide a few days before and he doesn't make it. Then he goes back. He has a cellmate. That's a that's
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a a murderer. Um, apparently the cameras either malfunction. There was a technical issue. The two guys to watch
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him fell asleep or got confused. I mean, it's so much stuff where you're not even
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injured to go, "Well, what what too many things happen at once." If this is Columbbo, I'm going back to
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the 70s. Or if this is Law and Order, is this your dog? Excuse me. I don't want to bother you,
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but I I I just have this wondering about why he would hang himself, you know, paging Kevin Pollock to do that
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impression. Yeah. But so you're Is someone lying and and just what the [ __ ] happened? Just
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tell us. Well, also you can see lists like they take a picture on Instagram of it's a list of a
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hundred celebrities. Everyone's like this is the real. But I've seen ones at Drew Barrymore. I've seen one like there's people you go this isn't
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anything. Well, it's also smart obiscation is if you want to just exaggerate add people and who knows if
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there was a list when I someone told me and I'm not a conspiratorialist that
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conversator I had a couple pops before the show and they said there's this guy named
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Jeffrey Epstein he's he's incredibly rich no one knows how he got the money he has a secret
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island or an island he flies Bill Clinton down there 13 times and other
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celebrities to the island, right? He has young girls that are, you know,
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15, 16, 17 year old girls that have sex with these famous, powerful men, and
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they're secretly recorded. And then that is used as blackmail and political leverage forever. And I just
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go, well, that sounds like a conspiracy, a total fantasy. But then I found out there is a guy named Jeff Ramstein. He
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does have an island. Bill Clinton did go on the island. There's certain things we know. So then you're like, well, what what else is
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going on? I'm not going to let you talk because I want the spade.
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I think a there could be a list like this famous list. Let's say they get the real list and the flight logs, but if
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it's Bill Clinton or Bill Gate, I would rather see a video of them doing something wrong because who cares? I
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mean, we just watching the Puffy Trail. It doesn't mean anything. It's all circumstantial. Like, so there is a list. So there's an island. So they knew
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him. Now, did they go there? Did they do anything? Is there proof they did anything? That's what people really
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really want. They don't just want to say, "Oh, I heard this or this?" Because they've heard that for years. And also,
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what could be happening? Because now they say he hung himself. No
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controversy, no list, no nothing. Which also sounds weird, right? Well, why why
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was there $290 million payout from Morgan Stanley? It was Jeffrey
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Epstein's bank to toward the victims. Why is his right-hand woman, if anyone
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had a list, and it wouldn't be a little black book, it might be digital or encode or whatever, why is she in jail
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for sex trafficking? So, and then why what are the odds? Why don't they would
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2020 do the odds of him uh the guards falling asleep, the cameras breaking,
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right? Right. when he's hanging himself. I mean, but then they just did a video where they sent this is him in jail when
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he hung himself and you go I thought they broke. I didn't think the video when I was the
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last I saw it was just him walking through the prison. There was none of him in the in the in the Well, I saw but who knows? This is a
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story going on this week. So, a clip of a door of a They're like this is his whatever.
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I think one possibility which sounds pretty far-fetched. Let's say that stuff is good for
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blackmail with some people. So in lie of just telling everyone this guy did this.
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The people that have it now go to them and say now we'll blackmail you. So we need you to do this or we're going to
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let it out. Who benefited from Jeffrey Epstein not being on the planet? I mean this is like
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crime drama series we see all the time. And then here's the other part of it is
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that Pam Beyond, this press secretary as of this taping, what is her last name?
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Bondi, I think. Bondi. Yeah. Bondi. Yes. Um had come out a few weeks
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ago. Bondi. Yeah. Pam Bondi. That we've got all the files. We got the stuff. We're going to be giving you a lot of
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information. And then all of a sudden like that it was
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no hung himself. We don't have any evidence of any sex trafficking. There's no list. we have there's nothing just
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goodbye and even the first time they brought it up to Trump because why are we even talking about Jeffrey Ebstein?
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Why would we talk about that? Why are we um it it just makes you go but yeah but answer you're we're being told at least
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as of this taping don't ask any questions. Just shut up again. Yeah. I mean it it's sort of Yes.
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Yes, it's an old story, but it's one that you even Trump has to realize it's
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a curiosity factor for people. So, you just want to put it out for good. What's the answer? And when that answer comes
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out, everyone kind of goes, I don't know if that's the answer. Well, get do a showand tell press
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conference, have all the stuff, be humble about it, have Pam go up there and go, "Okay, this is what we thought.
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This is the this is the video of me saying I've got all this stuff." But then we checked it again and cross-cheed
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it. This is this is exactly why the cameras didn't work. This is exactly why they didn't work while he was hanging
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himself, you know, because it's just make piques your interest and it's just good for uh
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for the public psyche to not feel like they're being lied to. Yeah. By the way, were you I mean, this
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doesn't even seem fair, but were you in were you in New York when he went when it went down with Epste? Were
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you near that jail cell? Well, you think I did it?
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Well, I wouldn't know how. I'm not saying, I was there visiting someone that day in
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prison, but I did nothing wrong. Right. Which I knew about. You text me. I'm at the prison where Jeffrey, you know,
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I do good things. I go there and visit people and bring them lunch. Right. And also you did a a piffy kind
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of selfie where you you took a sheet and wrapped it up like this and went remember that a little video while you
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were in the prison. What's that? This where I'm faking making. Well, you're you you took the you had a
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sheet and you rolled it in a real tight thing like and it had a noose and you went like,
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you know, and I'm not making you culpable. I'm just saying there's stories that need to be explained.
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No, I'm just doing a funny selfie with that and it's not at the at the prison. Nothing to do with it. Yeah.
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Now, two things do not those don't add up. Uh, but we'll get into other stories now,
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but that was a story this week. And then there was the Diddy trial, which I don't think is over yet as of this press time.
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It's just the he hasn't been sentenced, right? It seems like, yeah, they're going to let him out after he's sentenced. You
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know, the judge did express worry that he would revert back and go after some of the I'm worried. I'm worried. But basically
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the sex trafficking or the the uh racketeering like so they're
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saying he didn't do it for the money. Do the two biggest things got dismissed and then it was transporting
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prostitution prostitution and I don't that could carry 10 years but I don't know but
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basically basically he got off basically I feel like he's
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in better place than he was like He probably will get reduced sentence. Has he been in jail this whole time? Maybe
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they'll give him time. Yeah, he's been in there like nine months. Now, let me you ask a question.
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Is there a chance? Mhm. That he's headlining Vegas in six months
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or he's he's just back does if he's out and they just say, "Okay, we're on probation." Uh, I definitely
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think he's back in biz. I think he has fans that will fully back him, fully go.
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I don't know if he's really even a singer or rapper. I don't even know really what he No one really knows what he does exactly. Robert did a cartoon on SNL and the
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entire notion of the cartoon, I might have mentioned this before, was what does PD do? I guess he's a producer, you
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know. Yeah. Which means whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Producer. I like that. But
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anyway, piggybacked on Biggie. I I mean, I don't know. I I can't talk. I don't know anything. Yeah. Uh, but you know, as
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just a an objective viewer or listener, I
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really know even less. All right, let's get into the hard news. This is very hard.
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I'll just say that one last Pete. Did he drop? It's unsavory. It's an unsavory story.
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Yeah, it's a little rough. Yeah, it's okay. Now, you were asking me earlier what pigeons look like
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when they puff out their chest to impress females, and I finally found some video. Okay.
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that impresses girls. I don't want to fall in love, I just want to kick.
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Stupid song helps it. That's a pigeon. I've never seen pigeons do that to impress me.
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Never. I've seen a lot of pigeons in the park in New York and whatever. I've never seen anything close to that. So,
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I mean, are they all married or why there No one's trying to impress another girl pigeon? Like, why are they They're walking through it.
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Is there a chance that's AI? I don't Well, there's a chance everything is. Yeah.
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Doesn't it make you kind of make that feel sorry when you watch these nature shows
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and the male component of a seabbug or whatever blows up into some freaky thing or changes its feathers to dark purple
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or whatever. It just sort of like these poor horny freaks of nature. It's
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true. Blowing up and looking like alien double triple aliens. The birds are like they puff their
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chest. They go Yeah. Yeah. The female bird goes, "I've seen this a million times." Or they go, "Ya da da da da." They're doing like
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little dances. Would a bird catch like you know 50 worms, put them in their mouth, and spit
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them out like a machine gun. Look what I can get. If they had a worm, Joey chestnut and it said, "How many
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worms can you eat?" And the other birds would get that would be kind of interesting.
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What if a frog to impress another frog? cuz we had a bullfrog up here in the
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middle of the night on the pond just but the thing is like what if a frog in a bioevolutionary way to impress
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would jump up a thousand feet in the air and then kind of fly down. What do you
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think of that? Do you have a frog voice? She goes, "Oh my god, I was uh on my phone. Go ahead." He's like, "I'm not
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doing that again. I just jumped 1,000 ft and then flew down." They make
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themselves kind of fat like that. anything else. I mean, the classic is the peacock. It's like,
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what's up? You have a peacock. That's pretty good. Not really.
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They kind of go, they put that [ __ ] out there. They're like, "What's up?"
00:14:37
I think it was Johnny Carson was actually he was he was golfing. He saw a peacock and that's before NBC started.
00:14:44
It was like 1952. He goes, "I'm going to I'm going to create a network and I'm going to have it the NBC, the BB Peacock
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network." Someone had to say that. It might have been him. Someone had to do that. But it is kind of weird. And I do think even now it's
00:14:59
kind of unfortunate that NBC's live streaming is peacock because it ends
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with the word [ __ ] It doesn't sound inviting. Peacock. It's right now
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streaming on Peacock. Don't you find it's not a great name? Yeah, because also, you know, it's a comedy word
00:15:16
because you know the the K sound people say is good in comedy. Like I'm over here washing my peacock.
00:15:22
Yeah, exactly. That's a Dennis kind of thing. Okay, let's see what we have here in the peacock uh reverence territory.
00:15:31
All right. Spade made a million bucks, ran out and bought himself a peacock. Yeah, that's what I need more of in my
00:15:38
life. Okay. swordfish with a little teriyak sauce and a live peacock and
00:15:45
some sort of corral on my ranch. Got a [ __ ] peacock under glass.
00:15:53
What was the question? I don't even know. Dana, we're going to step into the
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Okay, we'll go to the next one. Next one. This is so interesting. Crowd is on the edge of their seat.
00:18:55
Yes. The most dangerous person in tech is an Eliner. Alman. Oh, is that Sam Alman?
00:19:01
Elon. It's 28-year-old Oh, he built the training system for open AI
00:19:07
and Zucker gave him Zuckerberg gave him 15 billion for it. Yeah. I mean, I think the only question people have is is he
00:19:13
right or left? Because if it he gets to steer how people think. Very powerful
00:19:20
position. You're right. What is it just science or you know it can be used for good or
00:19:25
evil? We've seen it in science fiction films and now now we're kind of living
00:19:30
it. The idea that a 28-year-old gets handed 15 billion to make AI that'll
00:19:35
take us over. 15 billion. That's 18 zeros, baby. Back to Dennis. 15 billion for about six
00:19:43
days of work. Okay, that's a toddling character there. I like to be a chess thumper with the
00:19:50
ladies. All right. You know how many peacocks you could get? Okay. He said all he did was hire
00:19:55
sweat shop workers to procure data sets on the internet. I don't know if that's
00:20:00
all he did. I mean, he said that about himself. No, this is this comment on the side.
00:20:06
Oh, people who kind of know comments are always funny because although Oh, he's brilliant but
00:20:11
he lacks wisdom. Heavy comment, heavy. Well, again, if you want to be in the
00:20:17
room with it's Zuckerberg hired him or who paid himuckerberg.
00:20:22
So, the guy we got a guy who's really good he's 15 billion. All right. Okay. I got I got a guy a guy
00:20:30
who's really really good as well. He'll do it for 10 billion. I got three guys
00:20:35
that'll do it for 2 billion each. So, how do they arrive at 15 billion? They tell me you couldn't for 14 billion
00:20:42
subplant him. He's that valuable. No, it's not just a guy. He's bringing his [ __ ] with him. Oh, his whole giant.
00:20:48
How about he goes, "No, I still own it, but I'll come up with new [ __ ] for you." They're like, "No, no, no. We want this
00:20:53
thing." Oh, he owns it. Okay. Yeah, he owns It's like forget everything I just said. Yeah. Trademark or he owns the guts of it. So
00:21:00
Mhm. I guess listen I remember when they brought the first time I was hearing billion people are too young
00:21:07
everything was millions government we gave 10 million to this place we gave 100 million which was like the highest
00:21:13
when it hit billion I think during the last four or five years it turns into a billion then I heard 20 billion then
00:21:20
we're doing 100 billion like you can't compute these numbers at all everyone it's just nothing any it's so
00:21:25
high it's unbelievable so everyone overpaid Instagram, I think they were bought it
00:21:32
for a billion and I thought that's insane for this stupid [ __ ] And then
00:21:38
it's obviously worth a lot. And then Snapchat, I think the guy wouldn't take
00:21:43
two or three billion from Google. And I was like, dude, I know. Is anyone going to get mad that you took
00:21:49
three billion, you got ripped off? Let's say it goes to 100 billion. You still have three billion. You're not going
00:21:54
through it all. I mean, goddamn. Get the stress off. Sell it. It's one of it's it's a heartbreaking
00:22:00
thing when startups get lucky and they have this they don't make much money but they're valued so much higher and
00:22:07
someone wants to buy them and it's if it works out when you say no but if you work if it doesn't work out
00:22:13
you're like how in the [ __ ] did I say take your three billion
00:22:18
right take your [ __ ] three billion and shove it up your ass yeah it's like teams that overpay for a
00:22:24
player and they bomb and they have like a nine-year deal with them they're like oh My god. Oh, I love the NBA. What's his stats? He
00:22:31
gets six points a game, two rebounds, and one steel. What's his yearly income?
00:22:37
71 million. You know. Oh, yeah. I want the talent to get paid. I want the talent to get paid.
00:22:43
Your boy Kevin Love gave me a shout out yesterday. Really? Do you know who that is?
00:22:48
Of course. Great forward um who famously came out about just mental health
00:22:54
issues. Kind of helped a lot of people in the league. He just got traded, I guess, yesterday. Where's he going?
00:23:01
To a different team. To a different team. All right. All right.
00:23:06
Was he on Miami? Heather, look it up. Kevin Love. Heather just shrugs her shoulders. I go, "No, look it up." She
00:23:12
goes, "I don't [ __ ] know." I go, "I know, but Heather can look things up. I mean, she
00:23:18
can look it up and she's going to say, I think it's a Miami Heat going to somewhere." Utah Jazz acquire Kevin Love
00:23:24
and Kylie Anderson in three term team. Utah Jazz took them. So I don't think he
00:23:31
was expecting it because he posted a Jod Dirt clip saying, "What's it like to get traded?"
00:23:38
And it was Kid Rock going, "Nobody wants you here. You crying, boy? Nobody wants
00:23:43
you here at all. Get out of here." Hilarious. Oh, trading's heartbreaking. I mean, there was just recently a seven team
00:23:50
deal where I'll take this, you take this guy, you take this guy. The Warriors were in it. Houston, he'll go over here.
00:23:56
Yeah. Seven teams like so complicated. I know. I can't keep track of it. I don't understand all their deals like,
00:24:03
you know, free agent, restricted free. I don't really understand how it all works. Do I care? Sort of.
00:24:09
Not enough to look into it. It's fun for you. You're more into the Bball that you go they should get this
00:24:15
guy if they lose this guy but this guy's get you know they finally make money and then they get too expensive for someone.
00:24:22
Yeah. It's it's a real it's a guts move to turn down things and how you navigate your career. You you ideally want to get
00:24:29
fu money initially and then you can take more chances with that. You know
00:24:34
I mean there were there are players in any professional sports who just just saved every penny when they were
00:24:39
playing. Um, Dana Dana wants FS money. [ __ ] spade.
00:24:45
Take all his money. Dana's got lots of money. I'm not No one's worried about
00:24:50
Dana. Okay, let me just make this comment. Okay, that's not true. But there if you are
00:24:59
someone who's living in a nice small house, really humble, have a humble car,
00:25:06
whatever, and you have enough money coming in where you do what you want to
00:25:12
do when you want to do it. If you want to work full-time or you don't want you are by lifestyle, lifestyle is a
00:25:19
millionaire lifestyle when you don't have to think about money. And a lot of that's just the expense.
00:25:24
Yeah. I like to give wisdom to What was the question?
00:25:30
Um, it was Jeffrey Epstein. Did he hang himself? No, that was so 11 minutes ago.
00:25:36
Puffy's hosting this week. Um, I'm really enjoying the podcast. I thought the 11 minutes on the Peacock
00:25:43
was was was a really seminal moment. I thought Epstein into Peacock was
00:25:48
brilliant. We have Puffy. He's also the musical
00:25:53
guest. That will mean he's fully back.
00:25:59
I'm P. Diddy. I ain't going any anywhere. I'm back in the city.
00:26:05
I got the baby oil. I know how to toil. I one time whoop the soil. Everybody
00:26:12
find some oil. Get I bffed olive oil. [Laughter]
00:26:19
Well, papa was watching. My name's not guilty. I know people
00:26:25
think I'm filthy, but I want to tell you the whole story. Ify I pass a water
00:26:30
bippy. Godamn. I know I ran out of steam. We've been This is our third podcast today.
00:26:37
Yeah. Uh, okay. We'll go to next story. We really are racking them up. Rack them. I love this podcast so far.
00:26:44
Okay, this might be real, might not. These are a lot of girls have podcasts, a lot of women. And a lot of them I'm
00:26:51
figuring out mostly Only Fans, girls. It seems like if you see something like
00:26:56
this, it might be a fake podcast cuz no one actually looks at the real one. So they it's a good way to get clips on.
00:27:03
You really just film a woman suit on a couch. So if she's talking to the girl, but
00:27:09
there's no real podcast, but it looks like one. They're just doing clips anyway. Oh, I see. Just clips as if you just basically are filming clips.
00:27:15
There's no real I see it. They're there. How much did you pay in taxes this year? I didn't pay taxes. I've never paid
00:27:22
taxes in my life. You've never paid taxes? No. Okay. Well, so I haven't either. I really don't know even what taxes means.
00:27:29
Me either. And I just like have money in This is kind of where I'm at. I I really don't know.
00:27:35
What do you even do? How do you file for them? Like how do you pay? You need an extension.
00:27:40
Is there like taxes.com? Did she say extension? That's smart.
00:27:45
That's one. I don't know. And it's different for every state. Like why does some states have to pay more taxes than other
00:27:50
states? I I don't understand. They never will. That's why we're a woman. Okay. Yeah, I'm a woman. It's fine.
00:27:55
Someone explain a girl. Okay. A deep conversation. Um
00:28:01
I do think there's I think maybe in that world a lot either
00:28:09
forget or aren't advised to pay taxes. These people you hear making so much money in that only fans world. I don't
00:28:16
know. I mean, if you don't, you're going to get a rude awakening. Maybe I don't want to pay taxes anymore with
00:28:21
Wesley Snipes, right? I mean, they gave him bad advice and he went to prison, right? That's that that's what's
00:28:28
supposed to happen. I think what's happening more is no one wants to pay taxes cuz when you realize they missed
00:28:35
they're missing $20 billion in California, you go, why is that's my money I'm paying? And then it goes away
00:28:41
and you go, sorry, we lost 20 bill, but we need more so we're going to up the tax. I'm like, I don't want to pay
00:28:46
anymore. How about just figure out a new way because just keep telling us to give you money that you lose.
00:28:54
You lose it. Why is there not online a very clear easy third grader could do
00:29:02
it of listing of where California you say California tax dollars
00:29:07
specifically where is it going to this education system to this uh charity uh
00:29:14
and follow it make sure someone's using it for the right not just kicking it to their cousins and uncles and or just I
00:29:21
don't know it's so [ __ ] complicated I know and even you even if you talk to tax experts, you can say to them, "Um, I
00:29:28
don't know. Is that a write- off?" And they go, "I don't know. Nobody really knows. It could be. Maybe we'll write
00:29:35
off part of it." I think the frustrating thing for me is if I don't pay tax or something, they're on my ass within days. Like, you didn't
00:29:41
pay, you didn't pay exactly perfectly, you owe more, you're fined, you're late.
00:29:47
But when they take your money and they blow it down the [ __ ] shitterter, they just shrug their shoulders and go,
00:29:53
"Yeah, I don't know. Give us more. and you better do it fast. I'm like, get [ __ ] It's getting annoying, dude.
00:29:59
It's getting bad. Give me one non-bumpy street that doesn't rip up my oil pan. I'll be all right.
00:30:05
My neck and my oil pan. That's all I'm looking for. Yeah, let's let's have some Let's have some pre-burns. Let's have some fire
00:30:12
Let's add some fire management. Let's Let's have Let's have our gas prices
00:30:17
where people poor people can afford it. Um, you know, let's uh let let's have
00:30:23
really I know these are hot takes and let's have really safe neighborhoods. Let's have just all over the state.
00:30:30
Let's put some people in jail again. If you if if you're a criminal and do something wrong, maybe there's a punishment. I mean,
00:30:35
that's going too far. You're telling that is going too far. I swear it's a new world where,
00:30:41
you know, the criminal is the victim and that's just a tough new world I'm not quite wrapping my head around yet.
00:30:49
Um, it's hard for me to comprehend it, but you know what? I think in California, a lot of people once it's in
00:30:55
your up in your face, then they're sort of like, you know, whoa, whoa, what, you know, this we
00:31:03
should not make it the new normal. When you're in a safe neighborhood and you feel safe at night, you it shouldn't be
00:31:08
like, well, that this actually feels good, you know, right? You shouldn't have to be like,
00:31:13
um, I know someone who was out in a town, uh, sort of outside in the valley
00:31:19
toward toward Palm Springs and then at 6:00 they were at this party and they just said, "You guys got to get out of
00:31:25
here." They go, "Why?" Well, the gangs will start to filter. You've got it 6 o'clock. You got to drive out of here
00:31:30
now. You don't don't wait. So, I'm at a store right where I go to
00:31:35
the bottom of the street, walk out front, some dude's chewing on a [ __ ] extension cord. He's
00:31:42
got a black check in his hand. What am I gleo? You know, it's just nerve-wracking. There's a lot of
00:31:48
nerve-wracking stuff anywhere. I mean, there's almost no neighborhoods where you go, "This is totally fine." I'm at a 76er down in Hollywood and
00:31:55
trying to get some petrol. Okay, first of all, it's $19 a gallon. All of a
00:32:00
sudden, I see Skippy, the homeless guy. He's got his pants around his ankle, his unit in his hand. He's chugging a half
00:32:07
pint of Winsky and goes, "Have you got a dollar?" Okay. And that was the best part of the day down there. All right.
00:32:14
I remember the one time when a guy came out of CVS. He goes, "David Spade." I go, "Hey, man." He goes, "David Spade."
00:32:21
He followed me for three blocks and he goes, "Give me some money." And it turns into like a casual robbery cuz I go,
00:32:26
"All right." And I go, "There's 10 bucks." He goes, "I know you got more than that." I was like, and then he goes, I open my wallet and he goes,
00:32:32
"Give me that hundred." And I go, "Well, a hundred feels like a little." And he goes, "Pluck." And I go, "All right. Can
00:32:40
I leave the crime now? Am I Then he says that that's a pretty watch. You give him a watch. Yeah. Give me that
00:32:45
watch. Yeah. Then give me that jacket. Where does this end? And he goes, "You always wear blue on
00:32:53
that podcast." And I go, "Oh, you have a laptop." He's like, "Uh, you
00:32:59
and Dana kind of complain about stuff maybe too much." I go, "All right, well, that's not what we're here to talk
00:33:04
about." I I just really don't know why um Tom
00:33:12
Sigur would hassle you like that. He could be a perfect homeless guy.
00:33:18
I'm just shocked that Tom Christ too. Yeah. Uh okay, let's go to the next.
00:33:24
What's this? Oh, this is funny. Oh, models doing dumb things just never gets old to me. Okay, the new You know, they always do a
00:33:30
modeling thing and they don't know where to put it. This This one there. Mhm. Oh, I don't know if you can see it.
00:33:36
They're in water. Okay, models in water.
00:33:42
Models looking stupid in water. Dirt. Okay, we can drop the opera. That guy's
00:33:49
hair looks like [ __ ] Look at that. Marilyn Manson.
00:33:54
Uh, you know, it it it looks uh ridiculous, but we're looking at it.
00:34:00
That's all I say. But a little Night of the Living Dead for me. But look at this outfit right here.
00:34:05
High collar. That guy's got some quads. High leather. You're not supposed to get
00:34:10
it wet. I heard this is the the episode of Dennis. Yeah. Christ sakes. That's what I need when
00:34:16
I'm looking for a vente jacket is some kind of zombie water motif coming at me.
00:34:22
All right. I don't want to uh buy a Versace jacket for 22 grand. I find a largemouth lunker
00:34:29
bass in the pocket. That was a good one. Yeah. Okay. What's next? They get sucked
00:34:35
down the drain and you do a raffle to see which one's still alive. I mean, I got a goldfish in my chonies.
00:34:44
All right. That's funny enough. We got to do something where we're just sitting in ice baths or something during
00:34:51
the podcast, you know, to our neck. Oh, these are big prom entters. I gota have to ask Harper about this one. Is
00:34:58
this a good one, Heather? What do you think? Queen song. Okay. Out house.
00:35:04
Great Queen song, by the way. Look at What the heck did I just watch? Lot of hits.
00:35:09
I don't like this long wind up to what we all know is about to happen. I don't know what's going to happen. Oh.
00:35:18
Oh, okay. Here's my little princess. So, she she sat in there for like 40
00:35:24
minutes. Yeah, she took a dump. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this isn't even Queen
00:35:32
Explo. Who is it? No one's impressed. It doesn't say. It says no one's
00:35:38
impressed. No, all the faces. Oh, yeah. Everyone just staring off like this going. She's like, "Sorry, it was
00:35:44
taco Tuesday." Is that the dad's idea? You think? It's not a great idea.
00:35:49
Daddy, I love I just want my prom cuz I get so nervous. Could you have an outhouse and I would make
00:35:55
nearby? Nearby. So I could go in it and then come out and and Bridget and S Susy
00:36:01
could take pictures of me coming out of the outhouse. Steady. Daddy, you ready in there?
00:36:08
Yep. [Music]
00:36:14
Sometimes you see people they put a they put a little English on at the end. They go
00:36:23
put a little English on. has succumbed to this. It has
00:36:29
It has come to this. We're not out of material. This is This is quality. I'm not saying this is the
00:36:34
bottom. This is good. I'm not apologizing. I don't apologize. Not for this. Not for this.
00:36:39
No, we don't go spin on people very much. That's so funny. Okay, next one. What
00:36:46
people like? Don't be political and don't be dirty and don't be scalical. I'm like, what else?
00:36:54
That's you farting and changing yours. I was trying to top yours. Here is race car farting.
00:37:00
[Music]
00:37:09
There's a Let me see what this is. Oh, this guy. Okay. There's a man in New York. This is the
00:37:15
New York Tik Tok or something. Man in New York known as the human carpet. He wants girls to walk step on him.
00:37:22
Okay. Is he an artist? I don't know. Oh, I see. Performance art. Look at that sort of thing.
00:37:28
He's rolled up in a carpet on the sidewalk. I would not I would do this for fun, but
00:37:34
I don't like it. Uh, so I'm glad I captured that for everyone. Here comes some more. He's got a few more folks walking on.
00:37:41
Should we Should we walk on his wiener? And then I'm going to go for you all so you could see.
00:37:46
I would get the boxer Butterbean. Look him up. I'd get Butterbean. Oh, she went for it.
00:37:53
Yeah. Okay. Kind of reflecting on what I just did, it seems like I might have indirectly pleasured someone from my
00:37:59
walking. It sounds like I'm doing God's work, but that was also a huge hazard and borderline illegal. So, do not
00:38:06
get rid of them. Uh that that was a little little offputting. It was rapping a guy at the end. I think
00:38:12
I gave pleasure to a guy with no foot. We don't need him. We need that part. The guy wrapped in the carpet wanting to
00:38:18
get stepped on. I say good for him, man. It's kind of funny that if that's your thing, he sort of goes, I'm just not
00:38:24
going to be ashamed. Do you want to hear a real story? Yeah, sure.
00:38:30
And I don't know if I told you this one, but it'll seem too fantastical. It relates to this on some level.
00:38:36
I hope it's you wrapped in carpet. My brother Mark Garvey was living in New
00:38:41
York in the 70s. He's he was an artist and a painter. He's still around, but he had a career and whatever. So, he's in
00:38:48
New York, okay? and he's going to an exhibit and you know art got a little funny in the
00:38:54
70s. It's still very exotic. So he goes in and they tell him that the
00:39:01
artist has built a false floor under the floor. So when you go in to look at the
00:39:08
artist's paintings, he wants you to know that he will be under the floor that he's built and he will be masturbating.
00:39:15
Now this is directly God's honest truth. So there's no joke. I It's not Picasso, I'm guessing.
00:39:22
Okay. Going for the old false floor jack off thing under the under the Van Go.
00:39:28
Okay. So that's, you know, that's like performance art. The guy in the carpet, you know, probably they film it and they
00:39:34
put it in a museum and then it's probably clear. So you can you go, "Hey, is that Van Blow down there?"
00:39:40
I knew you. Yeah. Let's see. Is that Leonardo dejov?
00:39:46
Okay. Is that Peter Beard jerking the gerkin?
00:39:51
Another Edward hop around down there on your Johnson. Okay, this is Jackson Pollock wrestling the
00:39:57
bald-headed champ. Jackson Peacock down there below.
00:40:02
Oh yeah, peacocks are also wood. But anyway, that's art is a art got got
00:40:08
funny. No rules in art. I will give you that. No, my brother Andy's into art. He's got all
00:40:13
these cool things, but it always makes me laugh. It's got very interesting things, but
00:40:18
it's good because you can really think out of the box. If you like it, you like it. But
00:40:23
sometimes I will go in and I I love going to art museums. Love art. But I'll I saw one once and it was 40 feet wide
00:40:30
and 20 feet high. It was all white, covered the whole wall and it just had
00:40:35
one red dot in the middle of the painting. And I'm like, heavy man. Heavy. It's kind of like if
00:40:42
you think you could do it, then you you lose respect, you know? Yeah.
00:40:48
If you see a Van Go, by the way, you go, "Holy shit." You know? Yeah. The good ones are good. I don't agree with all of them.
00:40:53
I told you this wrinkles. Uh, let's see one more and then we'll get out of here. We get We've really
00:40:58
spoiled everyone. [Music]
00:41:04
Oh, no. This is funny. I had a dead beat dad growing up. Uh, oh. Oh, okay. These people hire this
00:41:11
guy. Okay, watch. Okay.
00:41:18
Bomb. Here we go. Dead. Dad gets tackled.
00:41:27
Oh, these moms tell this guy and they email
00:41:33
him and he just Who's taking the video? cuz he's
00:41:41
committing a crime. Put that guy in the garbage. Uh oh, this guy's gonna fall hard. Is that
00:41:47
Norbit? Whoa, that was a big guy getting a big guy. And this guy's like later.
00:41:53
Whoa. I don't promote violence, but you know. So, their dad are not only absentee.
00:42:00
Whoa. They don't aisle. All right, that's good. Don't do it in
00:42:06
front of the kid, though. They don't dead beat dad. The the qualification is you you're absentee and you don't send
00:42:14
money. That's completely okay. Yeah. So the moms get frustrated.
00:42:19
There's no money. They see them clicking their heels. They have no repercussion.
00:42:24
They have no recourse and they hire this guy. He does it for free. Just just be kind of harm them though. I
00:42:32
mean just go tackle him and say pretty tough tackle. go take uh go uh get back on your responsibilities
00:42:40
kind of. Well, I knew a a mom finally. I missed that.
00:42:46
I didn't know where to use it. I've been sitting here with my hand on the trigger.
00:42:52
Um I know a mom that's so happy about her
00:42:57
husband that she hires beautiful models to go find their husband and just make
00:43:03
out with him. So that's the flip side of what we just Oh, to get Oh, to give him a reward.
00:43:08
Oh, I thought it was to catch him cheating. No. No. Some girls will send in a decoy to say, "See if my husband will cheat, try to DM
00:43:15
him." You know, that kind of thing. Um, yeah. Well,
00:43:21
deadbeat dads. It's a good It's a good phrase. Do they have a dad for a phrase for a non deadbeat dad?
00:43:27
Just dad. Just dad. Just divorced dad. No, my dad didn't pay
00:43:34
the whole run since I was four. So, we were four, six, and eight.
00:43:39
Not a penny. Not an alimony, not child support. And he lived about a mile away, and he'd be clicking his heels. So, I
00:43:46
see the frustration. Yeah. It's just, you know, and then and
00:43:52
then the the son you becomes very successful, has a
00:43:58
couple shekeles in his pocket and then and then suddenly daddy's around. So
00:44:03
yeah, 100%. Uh okay. Well, we'll land on that and uh No, we'll send Oh, anyway.
00:44:09
So my dad never paid, [Laughter]
00:44:15
but then I got on Sound Live. Why do I keep forgetting to buy some of
00:44:22
those? You got to buy something stupid. I got I have to do them as soon as we end this podcast or else I'll forget and
00:44:27
I want to shock you because No, maybe I'll buy one for you and we'll send it to you and you just open it and
00:44:33
start I'll open it on camera and then I'll be delighted.
00:44:38
Uh we got two written question guys. Uh but you can do audio questions too. You can send it to uh
00:44:43
fly ontheinthewalla odyssey.com and you also can do it in audio. You can do it
00:44:49
with a little video or you can write the question. So we got a couple right now.
00:44:54
Yeah. Okay. Let's say we're going to try one. Ready? Here we go. Is it written? I think it's written. This is the first one from Molly. This
00:44:59
is Molly from Cincinnati. Quick story. I watched David's most recent Netflix special on a flight to Texas. I was
00:45:05
giggling the whole time. At the end of the flight, my seatmate on the plane said, "I have to ask, what were you watching?" That was so funny. Question.
00:45:11
What goes into each of your hair routines? They looks highly stylized and elaborate.
00:45:18
That's the question from the special. The special was good. Yeah, I had a good little lumberjack shirt on.
00:45:25
Um I switch it to my shirt. No, the hair is saying uh it's really
00:45:31
my hair story. That's is that you call your routine? No, we call it something else. When I
00:45:39
get up and do my hair, the first three and a half hours of my day, it's going
00:45:44
like this. Hey. So, what it is is they they blow dry it straight because my
00:45:50
hair gets very wavy. That's really the part I hate. So, and I hate getting it worked on or touched.
00:45:57
So, I keep it for a couple days. But, they did it that night in the special because you have to. And then I didn't
00:46:02
know what I was going to wear. I had a coat or a shirt. And five minutes before they go, "You got to pick one." and I
00:46:08
said, "I'll put the coat over the shirt." I changed it and the rest is
00:46:14
history. But I appreciate people watching. Why does that happen to us? Why do we wait to what we're going to wear in a
00:46:21
special? It's crazy cuz it's cuz you don't want to think You want to look sort of different. Like Lauren used to say, "Let
00:46:27
them know you're a star." That's what he'd always tell me. Dress like a star and separate yourself from people. But
00:46:32
when you do a show, Eddie Murphy in the red leather was like, "Oh, this is what you do. Really dress up." But I kind of
00:46:40
am not like that. It's not my vibe. So, I want to wear something a little more normal. Didn't want to go total t-shirt.
00:46:46
I think of the new new thing of authenticity. I think Shane Gillis come out in a
00:46:52
t-shirt or like people coming on like they're just just something they just
00:46:57
picked up off the floor, you know? And that's kind of cool, too. You know, you sort of casual. It looked
00:47:03
like something you would wear. A flannel shirt, a coat, and I liked it. It was fine. But I appreciate them
00:47:09
watching and I'm glad they giggled. Um, yeah. Okay. Thanks. One more question until one more.
00:47:14
Till next time. All right. This is from Hayden. I'm an actress a year and a half a year and a half out of college looking for theater
00:47:20
work. I've been turned down at every audition I've gone to so far. Can you give me any audition advice for
00:47:26
someone just starting out in the industry? I wonder if she got turned down or she didn't.
00:47:31
get a call back or something. She never even auditioned. What does that sound like, Dana? Well, it sounds like she auditioned and
00:47:37
got turned down. Oh, I see. Okay. I mean, um, without seeing it. Um, I mean, it's the
00:47:46
easiest business to get discouraged in. So, she's not crazy. Uh,
00:47:52
Mhm. It does take a while to get things going and know it well. There's a book called
00:47:58
Audition that might help. They gave me that when I was It's really It's almost
00:48:03
a different muscle auditioning than being in something. Um, so you have to sort of study that and they can tell if
00:48:10
you're new. The way you hold your papers, the way you walk in, the way you start. Some people come in, they go, "We
00:48:15
going? Let's go." And you go, "Oh, they've done this before." But you know, Dana, me and you going, we go, "Hello,
00:48:21
my baby." We try to [ __ ] around. Well, it's like trying it's try not to
00:48:26
try it. You know, first of all, okay, three things. It's an emotionally violent career, so get used to losing
00:48:33
and embrace it. Like I probably went 0 for a hundred for auditions in the 80s
00:48:39
before SNL, maybe even more. And so you just collect them. First of all, it's never personal. It's usually a little
00:48:45
bit of luck. The things that I got, I got right away because they just thought I was the right type.
00:48:51
So never take it personal. I used to think that Marlon Brando had just read before me. I was so intimidated, you
00:48:58
know. Don't take it too seriously. Collect defeats and the only thing you
00:49:03
control in your entire career is just try to get better. Whether it's an acting workshop or whatever, the rest is
00:49:08
just there's a lot of timing and luck to it. That's just the way it is. I'm the same boat. I missed I got a
00:49:14
commercial agent. You're perfect for commercials. Quote, two solid years at least two a week. one
00:49:22
in the valley in a suit, one down Manhattan Beach, an hour away with shorts and uh never got one two straight
00:49:30
years. So, yeah, it's almost impossible with those odds, but I didn't get anything. So, and then for Police Academy, someone saw
00:49:35
you doing standup, you look like the character they and I looked I could play under whatever under 18 and I could skateboard
00:49:41
skateboard. So, I got, you know, I would had a small deal at NBC, uh, and the
00:49:47
head of the network, they were doing the Mickey Rooney show, and they needed someone to be his grandson, and I looked kind of like him, but I was 40 years
00:49:53
younger. And the head of the network, Fred Silverman, goes, "That's Mickey Rooney's grandson." He saw two seconds
00:49:59
of a video of me, right? I didn't even audition. And then other times I audition and I didn't get it. So, it's very normal. Just Just know
00:50:06
that it just try to work on getting better and your time will come. And hang in there. If you really like
00:50:12
it, you're going to do it forever. So, just hang in there. You You'll get work if you if you stick to it. Yeah. Mhm.
00:50:17
Thanks, guys. Thanks for uh the questions. Any final words for everybody? Um the only thing is on next super I
00:50:26
want you to guess this big mystery. Okay. What's in there? It's going to be something sort of sort of positive. Not
00:50:32
the last time it was a rovatin pill. That not that wasn't exciting. It could
00:50:38
be a rotting tooth. It could be anything. We don't know. Yeah, that's the thing. It's the
00:50:45
mystery. It's the mystery bag. Everyone's freaking out. Okay, we'll see in the comments on YouTube. See if
00:50:51
people got this far. So, I can't wait to read comments. Cannot [ __ ] work. I'm going to sit down for a big evening
00:50:57
of comments. Yeah, I get a cigar and some Dinty Moore beef stew. Dinty Moore.
00:51:03
My regular. That was a good pull right there. Got it. a doomsday shelter.
00:51:09
Jesus. Um, all right. We did Dennis Miller. We did. This is kind of an homage to our friend
00:51:15
Dennis Miller today. He just for some reason the comedy all improvised, no script. I know it seems amazing. Um,
00:51:22
Dennis was a very expressive vessel for what we're doing today. All right. Thanks for coming on my show,
00:51:29
Dan. I appreciate it. Thank you for having me, David.
00:51:35
Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us a
00:51:42
review, fivestar rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this
00:51:48
episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey,
00:51:54
an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and
00:52:01
Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet
00:52:08
Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogerty, Evan
00:52:13
Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin
00:52:21
Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kurt Courtourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out with us
00:52:26
any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at fly onthewala.com.
00:52:33
That's audacy.com.
