00:00:00
what's up chewy chewbaca somebody had a
00:00:05
gig I love that you were like driving to the airport and just said keep going
00:00:11
yeah I tried to drive to the airport and we couldn't [Music] um they they bumped the flight back an
00:00:19
hour then we waited then they bumped it another hour then they bumped it six
00:00:25
hours oh oh then it was a what they call a no-brainer I didn't know it was going to be a 6 hours at the airport yeah it
00:00:32
was going to be like it would no we were on the way so we were just like um and then we didn't know what to do so I said
00:00:37
let's just drive it was a fun casino gig up at Table Mountain but it was actually great up there but
00:00:44
then I'm like where are we four and a half hours yuck so we you know roughed it the Spade
00:00:49
man toughest [ __ ] out there yeah it's unbelievable how you can ride back
00:00:55
of those giant SUVs and just take the punishment yeah
00:01:01
I took it Bobby and Catherine and oh like three kids just fighting and
00:01:08
deciding when to stop and do everything Catherine opens as well or what yeah
00:01:14
Catherine blanford she does some time Bobby mamota does some time and then I
00:01:20
do some time geez yeah it's like waiting for
00:01:26
Beyonce EXA oops hold on two seconds take take this part out we're back I
00:01:32
don't know why we have to take that out no it's so groy uh but I will say that
00:01:37
was a cute we drove by a Magic Mountain as I've always said I've been there three times definitely more mountain
00:01:43
than magic H I'll Stand that's a pretty pretty good joke I I'm and and that
00:01:49
that's not bad is it I went there once they put me in a room I was with my sister-in-law she's
00:01:55
like 10 they put you in this round room and they start spinning you around and then the floor drops out oh that's the
00:02:01
round up so I was vomitous I was nauseous for hours after that you know
00:02:06
oh these these rides it's like a car crash they're like you drive 80 miles an hour into a pole and then you're like
00:02:14
and then some guy beats the [ __ ] out of you everyone throws up and I'm like
00:02:19
people are calling lawyers I'm like is this a ride am I supposed to be having fun for
00:02:25
$299 yeah and then you get a guy and they say it's like four four 100 bucks
00:02:30
like at Disneyland if you want a a guide to basically do literally nothing and so
00:02:36
I said yeah for sure I wish they would just fan me because it was 107 when I went last time hottest day of the year
00:02:43
so I get this guy and they go oh it's four $400 per person get [ __ ] are you
00:02:51
joking I'm like this just pulled out cash nice side nice
00:02:58
sound effect I went spont aneous to Disneyland with Paula uh about six
00:03:03
months ago just oh let's go now Saturday 11 no let's just drive there [ __ ] it
00:03:10
let's just go so they go well Disneyland is full we're not taking anyone else it was sold out weird but if you buy a
00:03:18
ticket to California Adventure we'll let you buy a ticket to Disneyland so that
00:03:24
was $2700 wow scamby
00:03:30
because they're like right next to each other they're right next to each other it's Cino no but it was definitely like
00:03:36
$800 and I said [ __ ] it we're gonna be in Disneyland again so and then we just
00:03:41
uh had people all around us we could barely move for like six hours oh you didn't oh people are saying hi to you no
00:03:47
no just human beings I've got the baseball cap nobody recognized me like like look at this I have the sunglasses
00:03:53
like who's this what's up just this just that that's all they see you it's like a
00:04:00
they should have a ride after you welcome to David Spade's Circus carnival roller coaster dude last night the
00:04:06
casino they have all these like police swap people they come into your room and get you and bring you through the kitchen we go to this great little
00:04:12
restaurant and then they take me back and then where they take you out and I have to go like 100 feet of casino to
00:04:19
get to the back elevator and it's all people from the shows you just you walk at
00:04:26
Smackdown hey are you I know they they when I checked in they they said we can
00:04:32
give you coupons when the last time I played a big Casino up up in Northern California and then they uh basically I
00:04:40
didn't get them and they were chasing me down throughout the whole weekend i' just be in the casino hey we got the we
00:04:46
got the coupons you can get a quarter off half off you know yeah I go into I go into that 6% off breakfast buffet and
00:04:53
eat with everybody uh I'm GNA just say it you're a man of the people go ahead a couple
00:05:00
things before we get started that yeah before we start our I know that I know
00:05:05
that you're going to like this thing about Luca coming to the Lakers uh I'm I'm a little perplexed I'm
00:05:15
a little uh wondering what is going on I didn't see that coming what's
00:05:23
your mine is why on God screen Earth are they giving Luca away for Anthony Davis
00:05:29
I mean unless they know something about Luca we don't Luca's so great and I'm always mad because the Phoenix Suns
00:05:35
could have had him with their first round pick a couple years ago and they took Aon and Aon was not a bust but he
00:05:42
was okay and Luca was like unreal when you're rooting for the team that has
00:05:48
Luke uh against the Dallas Mavericks just because your team The Warriors are playing them he's he breaks your heart
00:05:55
because it's just too much power too many weapons with too little effort
00:06:00
so either he's got a stress facture Anthony Davis healthy but it's 31 versus
00:06:05
25 as far as age so it's perplexing and he's you know a lot of these players I
00:06:10
hate to say you know we'll say what my opinions are people say don't talk about sports
00:06:17
you guys and don't talk about politics I'm like well what's left all we can do to talk is balini
00:06:23
versus Lively this court is in session but like even Shaq said which I
00:06:30
didn't agree with Shaq Jimmy Butler has a deal with the heat he doesn't want to play anymore so these guys lay down they
00:06:36
go trade me I'm not playing anymore I'm just going to say I'm sick or whatever and they're like but you're making $50 million to play a year to play your best
00:06:45
nah they run the show NBA they really run the show you mean the players or the actual
00:06:51
the players do and I don't I don't think it's I just think do your deal and when
00:06:56
it's over yeah go do whatever you want get whatever you can but to to sort of take a dive I don't know and and a lot
00:07:02
of them are sitting out and where's Zion does he play a lot is I just don't know I don't know enough I just know enough
00:07:08
to make people mad is a a human freak for people don't know uh what is he
00:07:16
6768 270 and can touch the top of the backboard like he can take almost 300
00:07:22
pounds and he's not that tall and touch the top I mean his vertical is insane
00:07:28
his skills but but tends to that big body going up and down he gets a lot of injuries the one thing I would like to
00:07:35
do is talk to Jimmy Butler because on the surface it seems like what you're
00:07:40
getting 50 million it's kind of disrespectful It's Pat Riley it's the heat the organization but I'd like to
00:07:45
know his point of view because it does seem you know okay what about zalinsky what you do today because we're taping
00:07:51
this before Friday so all these stories are old zinski say he's trending now again
00:07:58
yeah he's your trending because he says uh oh Greg could probably find it but he says he got money from us but he only
00:08:05
got I think 58% of what we promised so he doesn't know where the other 100 billion is oh no another missing
00:08:12
billions I don't know billions are too much to keep an eye on that's my humble opinion used to be Millions hard enough
00:08:19
a billion a billion here who knows if it's going to I think and this was under the radar but Biden sent Gavin Nome with
00:08:27
a big fat check and make sure it make sure it gets in zelinsky's hands does not know where the 100
00:08:34
billion is this is California level of Inc confidence [ __ ] up yeah I mean
00:08:40
look at this so California was famous because they lost 20 million in homeless
00:08:45
money they didn't lose they just don't know where they don't know where it went and it was to solve homeless and we got
00:08:50
more homeless and we don't know where the 20 billion is I'm not making that up it makes you not want to pay taxes cuz
00:08:56
you go just do fix a road do something I see don't just make everything worse more money and everything gets worse so
00:09:02
this is I don't know how the Ukraine sit worked but it was shoveling out so much
00:09:07
I don't know unless he has you know maybe zalinski has two accounts and he forgot
00:09:13
and put it in the other one I don't know that happens to me maybe they sent it by zel or maybe
00:09:20
they sent what's the one that people always ask oh venmo I don't know I you know where's
00:09:27
the money where does it go I I like doge is working on it you know yeah do
00:09:35
Mega do Mega he goes like this hey Biden where's that other missing a 100 billion do you
00:09:42
have um Beno and he's like yeah and then he gets it he goes okay I got it he goes
00:09:48
oh also we had dinner the other day because sometimes people do that you go oh we had dinner and uh you had a steak
00:09:55
and lobster so you owe me money from dinner so they sent money you know what I mean
00:10:01
oh I I ate one of your pickles yeah venmo's cool we should get
00:10:06
them as a sponsor I owe you a nickel does it make the sound or does
00:10:13
the person make the sound I mean it has to make something it's funnier if it makes a noise because they send back and
00:10:18
forth the problem with those things is I think Heather will attest this if you
00:10:24
don't fix the setting it says what you spend it on right and who you're paying could be private yeah you can be private
00:10:30
but if you're not it's like you bought whatever right it's who wants
00:10:36
that I do $20 for drugs you bought off me right you can see anybody in your
00:10:43
contact we can see anybody in your cont play yeah we'd see Dennis Miller
00:10:49
we'd see Kevin nean what he's getting what pickles he's buying oh there's no privacy to it yeah n see well young
00:10:56
people don't use cash d a news flash I know you're you've always got a l of
00:11:01
cash with you uh but young people they they'll just do venmo or whatever square
00:11:08
or whatever how payment they sare Square
00:11:13
[Laughter] Abacus that was our zalinsky story yeah I'm not even going to tell you about the
00:11:19
ants that invaded my house because you couldn't even get your head around it how complicated it is we've had
00:11:24
invasions here ants seem cool they seem cool they're pretty much what I've
00:11:31
learned is they're just always there they decide when they're going to terrorize you because they do like water
00:11:37
did you know that they like water well guess what what you do is you get a
00:11:43
cotton ball and you put something in it and then you put it around and uh some
00:11:48
poison in the cotton ball so the soldier ants they they're all about the queen they're all about the queen everything
00:11:55
so soldier ants eat the eat the cotton candy and then they go back and they
00:12:00
give it they go here Queen the queen eats the cotton candy poison oh she dies
00:12:07
the whole colony is destroyed so I don't know if you got ear there with a big thing a raid like Woody Allen and Annie
00:12:12
Hall no this isn't rookie Amateur hour we Heather has some organic stuff she
00:12:19
sprays down but I'd say when I went to bed there's like 30 but I didn't deal
00:12:24
with it I go 30 I'll wake up maybe they'll dissipate woke up 5,000 but they're on the wall too so what I
00:12:31
figured out me is there these thick streams it was behind the coffee machine
00:12:37
they weren't behind it Dana there's this much water in the coffee machine so one of those scouter ants goes back and says
00:12:44
guys I think I found a lot of water and not just water no it's just water but that's good
00:12:51
it's water that's all we want and I think we should bring everybody literally everybody and check it out and
00:12:59
the ants go and then the one ant the little Scout ants there with his dad going I did good dad didn't I and he's
00:13:05
like you did you found us all water and then they get there and the next day they're all floating in the water
00:13:11
because they croaked there was too much water and you know some of the you know the soldier ants aren't the brightest
00:13:18
ants the dumb ants are in the front line and they're like I'm telling you I'm telling you swear to God there was a cup
00:13:24
of hot coffee over here 20 minutes ago that's the really man have a Brooklyn
00:13:29
accent they're in yeah they're like this why what are we doing hey what do you
00:13:35
want from me I told you there was water here what do you think I am a magician or some [ __ ] like that I'm a [ __ ] ant
00:13:42
I only got eight seconds to live give a brother a break they only live 22
00:13:48
seconds so they get in there and there's also a little caffeine in the coffee so they're like it's not like they're busy
00:13:54
bees enough but they're they're everywhere all over my house they don't even know why they're
00:13:59
walking they're just like gacked out on caffeine yeah I'm still talking like
00:14:05
this is an ant and would been Woody Allen star in a movie I'll bringing him up again an cartoon yeah no one saw good
00:14:13
night and the worker ants are like aaia and the Ants from Mexico are
00:14:23
like wether all right let's get to that's not important even though it sort of was let's get to the St I wish you
00:14:30
the best I wish you the best thank [Music]
00:14:40
you and now a word from our sponsors a betterment when investing your money starts to feel like a second job a
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investing involves risk performance not guaranteed yes that was pretty cool my
00:15:35
dad would have said to me Davey you drove four hours you gonna make it are you okay rough life in an Escalade you
00:15:44
okay he never would give it to me that something was hard hey lay
00:15:50
down a mother I thought it was Tom seura said that to
00:15:55
you that's my daddy here's something I thought about you for your birthday
00:16:00
awesome coming up it's an omnidirectional ball bike okay it's
00:16:05
balls that you ride ventor James brutin has created an Innovative
00:16:10
omnidirectional ball whe bike that appears to he built the bike using rigid Hollow
00:16:18
walking Globes which circus performers typically use theirs drive brushless motor driving the
00:16:27
wheels ensuring BS like a
00:16:33
h after exensive trial eror developed
00:16:38
aable his you could use it out of the farm the
00:16:43
creation has drawn PR with one commenter highlighting its Simplicity this video hasn't G pra for
00:16:50
how long it is tral industry he got it in 10
00:16:55
seconds he's got balls instead of Wheels can go left right up down he's like an
00:17:00
ice SK he's like this now give me a million dollars
00:17:06
yeah boring that's my review boring boring it's like you go out to
00:17:14
the chicken
00:17:22
sideways okay okay how about bird
00:17:34
[Laughter] this is season two is coming
00:17:39
out believe it or not this content is not going away believe it or not this is
00:17:45
not written we just make this up that's how good it is okay so we got the squirrly bike what's next that was funny
00:17:51
that was fun to watch fun cool that was cool okay what did she say hold on mhm
00:17:56
got my braces off oh I'll tell tell you can tell what's different she got her
00:18:01
braces her braces off now she can do this
00:18:07
escaping the Killer is escaping watch your tooth watches her front tooth he's
00:18:14
escaping ker is escaping that's just can you see it I saw it so the there you go
00:18:21
the teeth were just sort of separating yeah they to the to the talking it's it's a good trick but wasn't it just
00:18:28
done in Optical effects she she can move her teeth she has a gap and she can
00:18:34
close it and open it because of the braces I thought she was doing with her tongue with her uh teeth are loose now or something oh it was an optical
00:18:40
illusion I don't know that's a good you know it's frightened and other than it Bens and confuses me
00:18:49
I I hope unfrozen man I was thinking at this at
00:18:56
the uh 50th you know that's such a good sketch we can't do it obviously but I
00:19:01
hope it's up there when they vote for sketches someday and say what's good one that's a great one I see it a lot you
00:19:07
know maybe our our next Superfly let's do our top 10 favorite sketches all time
00:19:14
oh yeah okay that's a good idea let's do it right but we nothing that we could be in right because that would be fair
00:19:19
canes out nine of mine but okay so but by a't going make it wa wait wait a second I was only barely girls ain't
00:19:27
going no I only had a couple lines that would be my both are my top 10 but not
00:19:32
with the thing we're doing we are taking our conflict of interest okay we'll do it yeah um okay one more let's I mean
00:19:39
not one more let's see what's next all right 50 more all right Chinese residents have started covering their
00:19:44
houses with blue Fabrics oh I saw a blue roof today driving home
00:19:50
on my four and a half hour drive this is because they think that a direct energy
00:19:57
weapon will not burn blue I have a question yes go ahead have there as a question have there as a question blue I
00:20:05
that's a good question I thought it was paint but paint's so thin what can you use Dana
00:20:12
that if it's going to stop just the color blue well it's fabric right blue
00:20:18
fabric fabric oh maybe they think it a satellite or a weapon would think it's
00:20:24
water that's what they're saying in the comments um a lake or an ocean so they
00:20:30
don't burn that because that wouldn't help um these are just theories
00:20:37
right it kind of feels good but I mean this blue stuff I think it's
00:20:44
based on Maui fires and then there was anything with a blue roof or Blue Umbrella or blue garbage can did not
00:20:50
burn so there's some method to that Madness of what what's going on maybe
00:20:56
it's fire resistant fabric there you go it just happened retardant what did you say I'm not going to say that I'm going
00:21:02
to say resistance you're not going to say retardant you're not going to say that no that that's a that's a
00:21:08
inappropriate word [ __ ] Dent is too close for my
00:21:14
comfort okay we won't say too close nice try all right we haven't seen it
00:21:19
yet all right they're laying down blue
00:21:25
fabric I don't know this part well it's moving too Qui it's moving too
00:21:32
quickly for me I can't read Arabic oh see they don't burn that's the
00:21:37
laser they don't burn that's it yeah that was all we really needed to see and we saw too fast Google
00:21:46
search there's just some confused let me just break down this Arabic that I don't
00:21:52
know what that means at all it's too it's moving too quickly
00:21:58
just show another Blue Roof goddamn well how many blue roofs are there all right jump out this guy's he gets too much
00:22:04
time with us I don't know what the song was and he's pointing his finger at us like scolding his I was more into like
00:22:10
how good is that guy's hair I forgot about the roof for a minute jeez you do have hair jealousy don't you my my
00:22:17
grandma's blue hair maybe she hers won't burn I don't know we'll try we'll bring her okay everyone wants a turquoise Turf
00:22:25
on top of their house all right some kind of Boise state is
00:22:31
safe Tar Heels would be a kind of an aqua North Carolina might get some
00:22:39
singing that's about it light blue I don't know if it counts yeah okay like
00:22:46
yeah yeah what are you gonna do today gonna put that blue fabric on top of the
00:22:52
roof again okay all right I'll throw a blue sweater up there just see if it
00:22:57
helps at all anything okay very quickly I've known you 40 years what's your favorite
00:23:02
color blue damn that's not exciting no you should know me long
00:23:08
enough to know I'm not exciting this is blue mhm 50 Grand wait what did you ask me whatever it doesn't matter how much
00:23:15
it cost all my stuff are these quarter Zips is that what they're called no this is dark it's Navy yes oh it's Navy yeah
00:23:23
it's actually got a pattern if you pay attention be jealous of my jean jacket that I got from the New York Magazine
00:23:30
shoot for free you [ __ ] stole it I love I love when you steal [ __ ] from
00:23:35
photo shoots it's the greatest what are you gonna do with this what are you gonna do with it it only fits
00:23:42
me you just walk away man like our friend John Corbett he just goes when he finishes a TV show he just goes in and
00:23:50
swoops up like hundred all his just walks out doesn't say anything
00:23:55
doesn't talk to anyone and then he puts him in a a local kind of storage place
00:24:02
hundreds and hundreds of t-shirts underwear socks and you drive off and you're whatever Rolls-Royce and then
00:24:08
they're like ring ring ring and you're like tral la la and you're like hello and it's like Dana Lauren I'm
00:24:15
disappointed what about what I just did the shoot isn't that great we're missing a jean jacket we heard about the jean
00:24:22
jacket you budget a budget and it's that thing of like you know it's over budget
00:24:29
you were a shoplifter we've talked about that I mean you're a klepto Maniac know Christopher Walkin whispered to me that
00:24:36
maybe you accidentally walked away with it and then to make things worse
00:24:41
Christopher wkan walked away with a cowbell and it's that thing of like you know you do the sketch and then you're
00:24:48
Mr cowbell the rest of your life and you couldn't resist Ste right and then Christopher Walkin was walking with moli
00:24:55
caen I don't know what that has to do with it but sound Christopher Christopher
00:25:01
Robin walked with Pooh Bear Christoph laen you're losing your mind I'm going
00:25:07
over the hill I gotta jump off wait po tiger let me ask you a question what is
00:25:13
more emotional or better for you Charlie Brown and all Lucy and all Snoopy all
00:25:19
those people or Christopher Robin with Tigger and and Pooh Bear and that gang
00:25:28
and I know a lot of e eore was the original Debbie Downer I have to say but
00:25:34
I will say Chris for Robin I I'm I I claim to be smart I never understood
00:25:40
were these stuffed animals that he was fake friends with until he went to school
00:25:47
those are his friends uh I don't know if they ever really mentioned his mental state let's
00:25:54
go to the phones because I heard that when he went to school that's when it all ended because they weren't real
00:26:00
anymore they were just stuffed animals he found he found friends at school real people I'm like oh that's brutal God do
00:26:08
you do also watch popey as a kid and go is popey real or is popey an animated
00:26:15
character and is olive oil hot or am I not seeing it olive oil anorexic or just
00:26:23
she anic yeah yeah and well on [ __ ]
00:26:29
is she [ __ ] oie Osborne on OIC or what's going on they're called glps now you don't you
00:26:37
know they are I think so it's a class of oh what I'm not on it my mom oh well
00:26:46
what about okay let's get back to your question and then I have one for
00:26:51
you they were stuffed animals this just in school it's all weird I know I'm I
00:26:58
like bear I like Al's the smart one I I
00:27:03
thought and Charlie Brown I'll tell you one thing about that for reason I did love it but when I hear that theme as an
00:27:11
adult it kind of gives me a little bit of melancholy creeps there's something
00:27:16
about that song that Schroeder sings Yeah the the theme to Charlie Brown it gives me a little
00:27:22
Melancholy is that it yeah yeah yeah it's YouTu cool
00:27:28
of jazz well I like Pig Pen I thought he was funny yeah that's true and I have a
00:27:34
question this is a legit question did peint Patty like py who what's that did Peppermint Patty
00:27:43
yeah did she like [ __ ] who where was Peppermint Patty from a
00:27:48
cartoon Charlie Brown oh Charlie Brown oh I see what you're saying kind of
00:27:54
stringy hair but very very cute but kind of a tomboy well sexualizing that cartoon I have a
00:28:01
little metric counter we just lost 19900 listeners oh no we did not didn't we no
00:28:07
we didn't that's fine no I'm just saying Peppermint Patty was cute and I think my mom said don't waste your time there she
00:28:13
is she's super cute um and who was who give me you don't even know Charlie
00:28:19
Brown so you can't vote I know lonus okay Snoopy Snoopy was a spin-off and a
00:28:27
spin-off of Snoopy was Woodstock and did Snoopy fly in World War I Banes I think
00:28:34
he was imagining that Red Pilot yeah he
00:28:40
was wait Heather's got some breaking news yeah generally displays characteristics
00:28:46
of a tomboy but she is attracted to Charlie Brown based on her oh right she looks
00:28:52
like a tomboy type but she's attracted to Charlie Brown they aren't going to get into all that back then
00:28:58
she's fluid yeah Lucy seems more lesbian to me even though
00:29:05
because no I kind of had a crush on all of them I was so horny I couldn't anybody anybody well then you must have
00:29:12
been really hot for um Flintstone the
00:29:17
wife the wife on Flintstone what oh are you joking no I would take the daughter
00:29:23
but I would take J what was it what you would take
00:29:28
what was the dog's name on The Brady Bunch the dog's name on The Brady Bunch was Bunchie Jan anyway we're going to um
00:29:36
buch she was a good tiger it's Tiger but everyone says Jan that's a trick joke
00:29:44
okay I got a question for you Dana can I ask you a question yes that's that's you yeah I
00:29:49
know okay what did you get enjoy more enjoyment from Brady Bunch or parri
00:29:56
family go Partridge Family wow no matter what you
00:30:02
say wow wow even with what the bradies go to
00:30:09
Hawaii oh even when the bradies went to Hawaii and they got the voodoo doll or whatever that's what it was um I was not
00:30:17
it was not musty TV for me I I liked I liked Mission Impossible I like we're
00:30:23
talking about the S 70s I liked um why Wild
00:30:29
West oh I like the way the frames squared when they went to commercial I like
00:30:35
that I think I love The Brady Bunch and I liked uh God par family I loved like
00:30:42
the songs yeah bonuchi was brilliant David
00:30:47
Cassidy yeah I like the songs the bus bus he was hot yeah what was the The
00:30:53
Matriarch what was her that actress's name Reuben Shirley Jonesy Jones I sat
00:30:58
next door her on a plane once and we never acknowledged each other elbow to Elbow isn't that a cool
00:31:06
story we should Reit this so that's our no I like that's our teaser that's our
00:31:12
teaser I just wanted to say hi I'm on TV sometimes too but yeah she was buried
00:31:18
you're allowed to just say celebrity you're allowed to just go hey it's called courtesy celebrity courtesy or
00:31:24
something you can say hi to anyone uh but you can't take their whole day you just got to say yeah you go like this I
00:31:30
like your stuff here's me at the SNL 50th I like your stuff I like your stuff
00:31:36
good stuff I like your work and then I wait for it back and it's crickets I go
00:31:42
is there going to be anywhere anyone at the 50th that you have not met that's the question oh wow you know some of the
00:31:49
hosts I'm sure you know Bradley Cooper you know not really uh she was at the
00:31:56
40th and I said what's up sket I did what you did a sketch with them at the
00:32:01
oh I did a sketch with them at the 40th uh I saw T that's where I met Taylor Swift is at the 40th I don't know she'll
00:32:07
probably be there uh I don't think I'll try to hog her uh her time I do I hope
00:32:13
Miley sings I love Miley um and I don't know who's goingon
00:32:19
to sing or do what I'm just kind of looking forward to seeing surprising people like oh you're here oh you're oh
00:32:24
that there's that person well uh we'll see we're g see
00:32:30
what happens y we sure will um okay what's the next story we're burning time
00:32:36
we're killing it I know that's amazing seem like we've been on like five seconds take a look at this video that's
00:32:43
a good by line take there's a guy looking at take a look at this video oh at first glance it looks like a group of
00:32:49
friends playing football why do I care about if you look closely no one really seems to want to win the game oh it's the N 32 seconds left on the clock this
00:32:56
team scores the winning goal goal but no one celebrates what is going on here the same pattern happens in other sports
00:33:03
like basketball ping pong Cricket hockey and pretty much every sport you can imagine these are betting Farms run by
00:33:08
one of the biggest casinos in the world One X bet and these people are actually working you can even see the same
00:33:14
players playing for M different team there are also many unconventional sports like sub soccer and whatever sub
00:33:21
soer the investigative Outlet Belling cat traced these videos all over Russia and Belarus people being
00:33:28
recuited nobody take a look at this player with the tattoo on his arm he's playing for hours they're playing under
00:33:34
soccer whatever it's called and you can bet on any of these goofy games so basically they have these fake Sports
00:33:40
and then you just bet them online not a that's a good Biz they get the
00:33:47
stupidest Sports they make up take a look at this video nope not again not anymore I guess you it's legit right I
00:33:55
mean and then you're you're just betting two losers kick a ball around better well I mean I don't know I mean oh the
00:34:03
Super Bowl will be on after this right so I'm going to say is the Super Bowl fixed it's a great question Dana I I
00:34:11
can't say it is but I know they have a little caveat they have an out by saying
00:34:18
the NFL is an entertainment program so it's not just a sporting It's Not Just
00:34:24
Sports so there's something where they can get away with tweaking it and they can't get in trouble did you know this
00:34:29
well our friend grank who was on our podcast just thinks that the refs are
00:34:36
dazzled by the Kansas City Chiefs Taylor and the whole thing and just push comes
00:34:43
to shove and these micro calls like was ball there or there and they do the replay 50 times in a row and you know AI
00:34:50
could tell us better but it seems like Kansas City does get some good calls
00:34:56
they're also they can do spots with lasers they could make it so much easier than just just picture two dupas is no
00:35:02
offense on the side with Chain's going I think it's about here and then you're like the whole game decides on they they
00:35:07
walk up 10 yards they're like ah this feels I was eyeballing it they eyeball they could do
00:35:14
it so perfectly and exactly they could make it yeah because they could put a chip in
00:35:20
the football or something because it's like you know over and over again it does it touch the the white line or not
00:35:27
back and back and forth Super Bowl losers no one will ever heard of you Super Bowl so yeah it's it's a
00:35:33
frustrating sport to watch I'll say because when your team does a good play whatever your team is and then and then
00:35:39
you wait up flag [ __ ] it yeah usually it's a holding on the off with the
00:35:44
Chiefs yeah and when you say every play there's technically holding those
00:35:50
linemen grab each other you could probably call one whenever you felt like it yes and why now and pass interference
00:35:56
gu they're dancing in the in zone they're they're just the guy is draped and grabbing before the ball gets there
00:36:02
and they don't call it and the next play they do so it's a frustrating nowhere near yeah I agree I think Super Bowl I
00:36:09
think it's too perfect that I mean the NFL does do better if Taylor's there obviously does do better if the Chiefs
00:36:16
but I don't think he would propose that would be too like there's nowhere to go in life after that well they're going
00:36:23
for it's too high of a point and then everything's downhill save that yeah it's a super superar team they're going
00:36:28
for the three Pete right which is unparalleled in in professional sports
00:36:33
it's an amazing achievement it it is a compelling game because uh the Eagles
00:36:39
have the best running back maybe of all time right now um yeah Barkley so it's an interesting thing but
00:36:47
if you're watching the Chiefs play they they seem to find a way it's amazing how
00:36:52
many games they won by like a field goal last second this season unbelievable
00:36:57
they they find a way to win what they find a way to win I'm going to put a couple of bucks on it don't worry about
00:37:03
it oh really with Veno you're gonna ven
00:37:08
Mo I do the ones where you pick a fantasy team online like on DraftKings and then you only pick six players and
00:37:15
you have a budget so it's very tricky but guess what I do pretty good live
00:37:21
live you know you only live once twice Max so definitely just keep you know oh
00:37:27
we should have gotten the story about this kid that says he's reincarnated and he went back to his house like in
00:37:32
Finland and told everything where everything was and he was like four he's like that's where you go in that's kind
00:37:37
of cool save it for next week that's a little teaser okay next next
00:37:44
[Music]
00:37:53
one okay here we go no idea
00:37:59
what is this guy oh it's a ball you try to roll ball in a in a skate
00:38:06
park so this okay Heather do you watch
00:38:13
that so what's what's the point he's throwing a ball in a skate park in a
00:38:18
bowl a cement bowl and it loops around it hits a guy in the crotch she's sitting there waiting for it pick up
00:38:24
steam and he's in the exact is it a bowling ball dude Dana I don't know if I've told you
00:38:30
this about my nuts but and I don't I don't tell everyone they do not take well to a bowling ball ramming into them
00:38:36
at 30 miles an hour well we heard about the dog oh the dog smash movie bus boys
00:38:42
coming to a theater coming to something someday someday it's a $3,800 budget and
00:38:49
it's whole family we got another beating coming up this week oh someone's flight is late they're not gonna make it on
00:38:56
time for their shoot tomorrow yeah ah good Lord being a um Powerful
00:39:02
movie producer is tough are you're a Taskmaster I miss just oh my God it's
00:39:08
not even like a real movie that the catering is literally five Triscuits in a slim gym it's just everybody fights
00:39:14
gez that could be a Snoop Dog song five Tris gy I said five Triscuits in a slim
00:39:20
gym [Music] Snoop drop it like as how half
00:39:28
Capri Sun is that what the how you say it Capri Sun Heather zoning out what is it Capri
00:39:36
Sun or Capri Sun Capri son Capri what are you talking well don't act like I'm
00:39:41
so stupid I'm not four why would I ever drink one how I've seen him I've never gotten near one Dana doesn't know
00:39:48
anything look at him he's like H I don't know nothing about no that's above my pay grade a drink in
00:39:55
a bag or I'll be I'll take a paper cup any old day of the week is that your
00:40:02
plan you're going to drink out of B what do you think you are why don't you just get Tang and go on the space by the way
00:40:08
the people at the space station have lost bodily functions they've went up there so freaking long that cou oh my
00:40:13
God please save them Dana she said well Trump trump called up Elon Elon how you
00:40:20
doing great you got to go get him you got to go get him Elon so he's trying to get SpaceX to hurry up rescue these
00:40:28
people who went up there for a weekend and they there like eight months later something now I have a conspiracy theory
00:40:34
that they're not there no don't guess ahead okay I'm I'm waiting okay ready I've got patience
00:40:41
over Christmas to try to keep the fun yeah
00:40:47
they wore little stocking Christmas hats and stuff right yeah and it was like oh they're trying to cheer everybody up
00:40:53
they're trying to cheer us why would they have those there they're going for a week again this isn't Gilligan's
00:40:59
Island why would they carry Christmas stuff that's 4 months away from when
00:41:04
they went up well I have a supply list here of all the things that are on this
00:41:10
base on his face it might be they might have a store 10,000 Cherry chap Christmas hats Cherry
00:41:19
chapstick 10,000 Cherry chapsticks looks tastes like Cherry chapstick
00:41:25
okay this would didn't really understand 3,000 signed 8 by10 of
00:41:33
comedian David Spade now what to hand out to the Martians it's on the space
00:41:39
station I know hey will you try to pull up to see if they ever work Hats or am I
00:41:44
full of [ __ ] again oh yeah they have Halloween costumes where they they go as Neil Armstrong they do have Christmas
00:41:51
hats okay they have um Easter eggs yeah they have everything up there candy store they must have like a holiday they
00:41:58
do have a little a seiz candies Outlet yeah maybe they have a Lady Foot Locker
00:42:05
by the way how does seiz candies make it have you ever seen a seiz candies commercial no never it's really we of
00:42:11
mouth at this point I know but big piece of cake last night did he
00:42:16
and he today he always gets a dessert he always regrets it oh here it is look at this I knew I saw this okay all right oh
00:42:24
there they are they're up there yeah whoa her hair's a little
00:42:29
crazy can we scroll down yeah Bride of Frankenstein is that
00:42:34
a wig what is she doing by the way they had a party they had guests over that's a little suspicious they friends over it
00:42:41
looks to me and I don't know enough about gravity I don't know anything but it looks like they've shrunken down to
00:42:47
gnome size the guy in the middle looks like he's two feet tall so this is it
00:42:53
must be the gravity just shrunk is that a snowman in the middle they have snow
00:42:59
I he did my Gilligan's Island joke oh that means I'm corny if that guy can
00:43:04
think of it okay tiny I don't know not a good
00:43:09
thing no we're you know we're not here to start trouble not a good luck but we wish him all the best we really do and
00:43:16
we wish him a safe journey home no no we wish him everything I do wish him a safe that's horri I didn't like being in that
00:43:23
car for four and a half hours today so like unscheduled if you're ready for it you're ready for it okay Twi you take
00:43:31
off three two one you take off how much time goes by before you're
00:43:37
docking with the space station oh I know this one okay no I
00:43:43
don't okay I'm gonna guess so if I get in the astronaut thing yeah you're you're on the rocket the Launchpad three
00:43:50
two one you take off 96 hours 43 minutes
00:43:57
really I made that up oh my God I thought mine sounded stupid yours is wor
00:44:02
it's not that far it's not that far you know remember Shatner went up in bezos's rocket yeah it's a Thin Blue Line and
00:44:10
suddenly would you want to do that you can't go past the some barrier or something in space there's like a I
00:44:16
wouldn't do basos that's a that's a baby rocket you go up you come down I would want to go around the earth which some
00:44:23
people did on Space SpaceX Earth go around it I would go around the earth
00:44:29
okay I would like to go to the moon and stay to Howard Johnson's like ready for this okay you ready for this here we are
00:44:35
who's better than David Spade Hest he's got all the movies down he's got bus boys with Teo voon and they're gonna be
00:44:45
trous that's good any reges I'll take I'll take all right another one before
00:44:51
Dan I got a million things going do you I'm gonna do a spot at the store
00:44:56
tonight okay oh this was this is Dan okay I'll let you comment I I'll
00:45:03
just read the beginning it took 30 years to fix this Wayne's World joke okay now let's roll let's see what happens see if
00:45:10
Dana knows nearly 30 years one of Wayne's World's best jokes was completely [ __ ] if you saw ways World
00:45:16
on TV or on video between 1993 and 2022 the guitar store Stairway to Heaven joke
00:45:23
played like this [Music]
00:45:32
hey no stairway denied yeah those aren't the notes to
00:45:37
Stairway to Heaven which ruins the joke the thing is Mike Myers is no dummy and
00:45:42
the song was correct in the theatrical release
00:45:49
hey deny he waited too long stairway denied
00:45:55
that makes sense great joke but when it came time to release the movie on VHS Led Zeppelin and Warner Music Group
00:46:01
wanted to charge Paramount $100,000 sounds low two seconds of the song so the studio opted to change the
00:46:09
notes instead and then it stayed that way for 29 damn years until they released Wayne's World on 4K Blu-ray and
00:46:16
put it on to Max at which point the original version was restored and now all is right in the universe once
00:46:24
again this guy's a keeper for all the ladies that are single out there if you
00:46:29
want this guy's got a lot of free time man I think it was a it was an issue
00:46:35
with with having to pay for it or not so I guess Mike did two
00:46:40
takes it looked like Mike was just can't play the guitar he's just goofing around the first one the second one they looped
00:46:47
in the real notes but I get what the guy's saying hey that no stairway but he didn't have the beginning notes right um
00:46:54
I I think you can do that much of stairway not have to pay that seemed pretty quick yes this was right before I did my
00:47:03
drum solo I was I wasn't paying much attention I was just practicing on my drum did you do it in that store I did
00:47:11
oh was it the Guitar Center on Sunset I don't know maybe did you shoot
00:47:16
it in LA oh yeah all LA but I mean maybe people know the story but uh I practice
00:47:23
on a Yamaha Jazz set where the drums are small and down low and all stacked right side by side please stay with me David
00:47:31
and then I walked on the set and I had this gigantic Yamaha set where it's just
00:47:36
spread out oh like the bigger [ __ ] I practiced everything right in here I had
00:47:43
a drum solo perfect and then I got there and I had to reach and I did I never really liked the drum solo but it was
00:47:50
like too good cuz they were so so well you have to reach you're reaching so far and I was practicing tight yeah like
00:47:56
buddy I get it that story's interesting what did Bonnie and Terry say Bonnie was the one who said at the end just hit the
00:48:02
little thing and go uh thanks I like to
00:48:07
play like would only worked if the solo was really good I didn't think it was that good but there's somebody some
00:48:14
heavy metal bands sometimes the drum the drummer will do the gar oh good I had a
00:48:20
lot of Dr drumming things I did play I got to play with you too for d i was
00:48:26
underneath the via satellite even better than the real thing good night everybody I'm gonna
00:48:32
micop I'm gonna I will say if I was when I was in Joe Dirt we're looking for movie looking for songs we couldn't get
00:48:41
Ted nent that cat scratch fever was 150,000 for what nine seconds and ACDC
00:48:49
was 500,000 I heard Zeppelin back then was almost a million Sandler gets him for
00:48:55
some stuff ACDC and Ze uh which are the most expensive and so
00:49:00
we tried to make deals with other bands Steve Miller was too much we had a bunch of Steve Miller in the first draft it's
00:49:05
just hard to get songs you know all these dirt ball songs but we W up with some cool nuggets like Argent Hold Your
00:49:12
Head Up and you know we had some killers in there more creative I don't know what we paid for to do Bohemian rap city but
00:49:20
we're in the wrong business I mean if you own music and this is why these companies these big big corporates are
00:49:26
giving Springsteen like 500 million to they feel that they can monetize their
00:49:33
catalogs over time yeah it's you know Sinatra is still like a fortune yeah so
00:49:40
I mean here's here's an example which is nothing like that but I just saw in a story that in New
00:49:46
York to make money David dinkin the old mayor sold all the parking meters to
00:49:54
Saudi Arabia for a billion now that is so much money and so he they
00:50:00
get they get all the money now that was the story in the news and he said it actually is a ripoff because now this
00:50:07
many years later 25 years later whatever they probably make 10 billion a year from it so that's what you're saying
00:50:13
about music you risk it you go yeah are Park meters going to go away is music
00:50:19
going to go away nope they still make a ton off it and predominantly it's this
00:50:26
music from our generation is what they're paying for yeah because today's m music is not as maybe commercial or
00:50:36
catchy you know there's a lot of hooks you you go play awood Mac for a young
00:50:41
person they're going to go holy [ __ ] you know hopefully um I think Taylor Swift
00:50:47
is too smart to sell her catalog but she obviously could for more than a billion
00:50:52
list in a pinch but she doesn't have a pinch yet she's not in a pinch she I
00:50:57
think that Mrs Kelsey is what I call her Mrs Kelsey will do fine have you heard
00:51:04
her podcast yet she has a podcast now no I I'm I'm saying that Taylor
00:51:11
Swift no not Jason Travis's wait not
00:51:17
their mom no Jason's wife as one yeah right Jason's wife has a podcast that's
00:51:24
more unexpected than their mom their Mom I would think would be doing something on the Food Network or doing a cooking
00:51:29
so just something you know you in your movie should have a thing where you go into a time machine accidentally like
00:51:36
Bill and Ted for a minute and everyone you talk to on planet Earth has a
00:51:41
podcast like every what we what do we go two years into the future but and then you take like a a TR
00:51:49
time traveling and you go you go to Malaysia you go all over the world you can't find anybody who does not have a
00:51:55
podcast as anel had kind of a funny uh sketch about did they they said you go
00:52:01
to the doctor and it's called medcast guys won't tell doctors about their feelings
00:52:07
so they do a podcast with the doctor and they tell everything about their life that's the only way they will they're on
00:52:13
a dumb podcast with other guys okay and that's the doctor like laughs goes yeah
00:52:18
and what are you drinking you're drinking a lot now and he's like oh no he goes you get a couple beers go oh yeah in the weekends I go big doctor's
00:52:25
like okay but it's it's set that the framework is podcast actually that that
00:52:30
week I saw the show they had two podcast bits which if we were there in the old days one would have probably gotten
00:52:36
pushed for another week because you would write obscure thing a podcast sketch is sort of obscure and then the
00:52:43
week you write it there's another one bump bump but they did them
00:52:49
both well uh good for Mark Marin and and Joe Rogan to get in in 2000
00:52:57
early we got Marin coming up on flying the wall soon who's on flying the wall this week Dana we got this week it's
00:53:04
still nean but by this time I don't know who it'll be do you want to type it in here right now currently is Lisa
00:53:12
kudro are you sure yeah I am okay Lisa kudro is on right now check her out we
00:53:19
have Superfly which is on video and it's us and sometimes we have guests and then
00:53:25
we also have nobody understands we have fly on the wall which is essentially
00:53:30
audio only thank you thank you all right so let's go one more story and then we'll close up one more story and then
00:53:35
we'll wind it and we'll say good luck with uh good luck with uh the Super Bowl
00:53:42
everyone okay what is this hang on hang on oh this guy Dana I don't know how you
00:53:48
feel about pain this guy I mean this is talk about
00:53:54
get famous I don't know you ever been hitting the shin with something like a yes scooter
00:54:00
okay this guy makes a rope with I rank it a three out of 10 on the paint scale
00:54:07
coming in at number four is bed frames I rank this a five out of 10 this sucked right we have the double Razor scooter
00:54:13
ceiling fan this was terrible it cut me open and I rate this at eight out of 10
00:54:19
yeah don't do it at number two we have the trailer hitch ceiling fan out of 10
00:54:24
on the scale who is this guy bu boys I guess at number one we
00:54:30
have out of these are the oh he rated that 100 out of 10 that was the worst
00:54:36
pain what was the last one I don't that was funny but this is guy
00:54:43
with a rope with all these heavy objects attached to it spins it and has It smash into his shins and he's got he makes a million
00:54:51
how much pain it is when you watch UFC they do those kind of kicks and then I'm
00:54:57
sure he's swollen up and stuff what people will do for
00:55:02
views another another time for another podcast I won't do that you won't physically torture
00:55:09
yourself as meatloaf would say I'll do anything for views but I won't do that
00:55:17
you know that song No I know his brother who's from Italy matab Bal had a similar song you
00:55:25
know his cousin bu cake no monal would be a Israel Jewish
00:55:30
guy now so that thing with the yeah we would we'll put it's going to be hard to
00:55:36
put good songs in bus place we already oh we need something from H I can't say it but we'll find it we're gonna find um
00:55:44
you I could maybe angle chop and broccoli if you want that it's cranked it's cranked in the
00:55:52
car in my old El Camino um okay I will I'm hold you to that CU we we need to
00:55:57
get some songs we do okay well thank you Dan it was nice meeting you we had a
00:56:02
great time and there's a Super Bowl weekend so everyone have a nice time we'll go over see if I want any money on
00:56:09
yeah I'm we're gonna place bets I'm gonna place a bet you're going to place a bet and we're going to see who wins
00:56:15
the most money and uh it's going to be an interesting little competition I say
00:56:22
3327 Kansas City is that even a number could it be 33 yeah it could be I think so
00:56:31
um I I'll say uh 42 whoa
00:56:38
35 Philly whoa they scored 55 points last I know one of us is going to
00:56:45
win uh okay uh thank you Dana thank you David thanks
00:56:52
audience this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced
00:56:57
by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna we sperman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holzman hope you liked it
00:57:06
[Music]
