00:00:00
Dana, you'll never believe what happened to me on the road. Okay. Uh, a lot of stuff happens to you.
00:00:06
So, what what are you talking about? I mean, you just you just won't believe it. It's too much.
00:00:11
So, okay. Well, then my brain goes to was this something dire, something fantastic,
00:00:18
something gig giggy, uh, great audience? You know,
00:00:23
what's the list of what it could be? Cold, cold, cold.
00:00:29
Well, welcome. You're not getting any warmer, fella. Give me something.
00:00:34
Yeah. Oh, Dana, you you know you know I'm out there and I'm
00:00:41
No, no. I I flew a coach. That was it.
00:00:48
No, I flew coach. Actually, Heather, will you send that picture? I'm going to explain this.
00:00:54
I You have to wait for this picture. Anyway, I flew Coach. Have you ever
00:01:00
flown? You know what coach is, Dana? I was born in Coach. That should be a That's like a country
00:01:06
song. I was, you know, and by the way, in a minute I'm going to um show you um a
00:01:14
billboard. I'm going to show the audience which kind of a sort of about our friendship.
00:01:20
Oh, and I'll I'll show it in one I'll show it in one minute. I'll hang in there for that.
00:01:26
So, but but first, now that we're at three, we're at 3:15. What do you got?
00:01:32
You flew Coach. I flew Coach, but they have a way of showing you it's not Coach. Look at
00:01:38
this. So, here here I am in coach roughing the [ __ ] out of No, Coach is
00:01:43
fine. I don't mind it. I I got a neck thing, so if I sit up straight, I'm fine with it. Anyway, they put this little 4
00:01:50
inch thing. I go, this cannot be what you have to separate. It used to be a curtain. remember they go,
00:01:56
"Oh, yeah." Yeah. They go, "Hey, sorry. This is first class."
00:02:02
Don't try to Don't try. You're not coming up here, are you? And you know, every once in a while
00:02:07
you're up there and someone wanders through the curtain and it's like a major deed. No, you must not be.
00:02:14
Oh, no. No, no, no. And they have a baby and they're trying to use the first class bathroom. I go, "Let him in. Let it in." And like, no. I
00:02:20
know someone that says, "I always fly coach. I walk up to first to take a dump. I'm like, "No, you cannot.
00:02:27
No, you cannot. You cannot." But I went up there just to uh Anyway,
00:02:33
the flight was okay. What I'm getting at is my precious neck. I get to New York.
00:02:40
I It's fun in New York. Oh, I'll show you a video I took. I'm a bit of a street influencer
00:02:45
and I feel like I'm part of the audience right now. It's just got videos, you got stories. Are you
00:02:52
going to shut the [ __ ] up? Okay. Well, I was doing a boner for those of
00:02:59
you at home. A boner is when you call in at a gig. You usually have You have to do it for
00:03:04
most gigs just to make the city aware you're there before you. So, I said, I'll do a phone for Jacksonville. It was
00:03:10
sort of a fundraiser. It was a gayla for the Jacksonville Hall of Fame. Okay.
00:03:16
They had Jim Furick. They had That's a golfer. They had some people there. Super super fun little show. So, I'm
00:03:22
doing this phoner to the local zoo crew of, you know, Jacksonville. And then I have these
00:03:29
stupid things on that I hate their guts. These things that stick in your ears. Yeah. And with my precious. So, I wake up neck
00:03:36
trouble already. Boop. But I don't have a show that night. I just have this phononer. I'm going to go do a set at
00:03:42
the stand later in New York. So, the story is [ __ ] riveting. It's riveting, right? So far, don't go
00:03:50
anywhere. No one at home. Pull over, skip work.
00:03:55
So, I have head, if you can't watch me, I have headset in on the phone. It quietly there's a drawer in my desk. I'm
00:04:02
sitting there. It's under hooking under the drawer like this. You know what's
00:04:08
coming. My neck hurts so bad. In my middle of my hysterical interview, I get up to walk somewhere else.
00:04:15
Yanks on the drawer. yanks me down, snaps me. Oh, I fall. I land on the
00:04:22
ground. I've fallen. And I pretty sure I can't get up. And these are popped out.
00:04:28
My neck C4 through 12 is like And now I'm on the ground like this. And I hear,
00:04:35
"It's a Zuku. Are you still there?" And I'm like this flatlining [ __ ] horrible passed out.
00:04:42
Yeah. And I'm like this. And they hear me like this. just noises. Then I go then I get my
00:04:50
bearings and I'm like this plug in plug in phone stand up and I'm like hello and
00:04:57
they're like David will be at the Jacksonville Igloo tonight. He still are still talking and I'm like so this is
00:05:04
Tommy Labool in with Joe Dirt himself. David, hey partner, you you blacked out
00:05:12
for a second. You all right there? You need a little I like that. Yeah. And I'm literally full concussion. Just like neck snap.
00:05:18
Now my headache's worse. And I'm like and and uh anyway, that was pretty much the long and short of it. But uh I
00:05:25
didn't like it. And then I got home and I got my PT, Dr. Jenna, who ripped me apart yesterday. My neck. I'm like And
00:05:33
I'm like, I have to work tomorrow, which is this whatever we do. I have to work tomorrow. She's like, what your stupid
00:05:40
podcast? I'm like, "What did you say?" I know. Well, I had similar problems. Like
00:05:47
the remote wasn't working. I was trying to watch it. I was like I was going to I was like
00:05:54
and it wasn't working at all. So then I shook it. Maybe the battery. I opened up
00:05:59
the thing to see if the batteries needed battery.
00:06:05
Then I put in two new batteries. Yeah. And I was watching the show and I
00:06:12
was in a rocker and I went, "Yeah." Did you get hurt?
00:06:17
I'm still in the act out. That's rocking. Going backward. Hello darkness. My old rocker.
00:06:26
Yeah. Then I grabbed the headphones and I wheeled myself in like this.
00:06:33
[ __ ] I'm just inspired by your sound. Jurassic Park. I'm inspired that your
00:06:40
whole life has this soundtrack. I know. It just helps the story move
00:06:45
along. I know. I mean, there's It's funny. Random sound effects like, "Hey, how are you?"
00:06:51
I'll tell you one more thing. I went to dinner and here's You might not get this
00:06:56
because you go to all I go to dinner. You go to fancy restaurants all the time. Dinner. Go ahead.
00:07:02
You eat dinty more beef stew out of your doomsday shelter.
00:07:08
Well, there is a bit of doomsday shelterness around my environment. Dude, there's a story we're going to get to that involves you. I'm going to bring
00:07:15
you up. Okay. And I I still have this. So, the quick story is the waiter's like this. So, I get to the nice dinner. I go
00:07:22
to take a bite and the waiter goes, "Is everything tasting deliciously over
00:07:27
here?" And then I got to go, "Oh,
00:07:33
yep. The Yep. So far." And then they come back three seconds later, they say
00:07:38
something funny. She goes, "Oh yeah." See, I think is everything scrumptious after the first bite. They have new ways
00:07:45
of positioning it. I haven't heard that one. Yeah, that's a little pushy. It's a little pushy. Three bites of a
00:07:51
tuna tartar later, he's like, "That's one of our favorite things here. Are your taste buds [ __ ] all over your
00:07:58
mouth yet?" And I go, "That one, that one feels like that seems a bit
00:08:04
I haven't heard that one." I know. Have you ever had this one? Like they're like, "Oh, open up the mouth.
00:08:11
Open up your mouth. Here comes Mr. Caboose." And they have a spoon and they start spoon feeding you Napoleon ice
00:08:17
cream. And then what? I go like this. He goes, "You're almost there." And then he pulls his wiener out. Dana, I have to say
00:08:24
wiener because someone made a pie chart of our podcast and it says the chunk
00:08:29
where David says wiener and it's like 44% of the pie chart. You get a wiener and I I'm surprised
00:08:36
it's that low. I think I think you you you get a wiener and you don't pull it out but you get
00:08:41
the vernacular in the podcast. I'd say more like 76%. But what do I say all the time like hey
00:08:48
buddy I must say what is it on his chart? What does he say? I don't have it. I don't say in the
00:08:53
comments really like to go no I would say 97%
00:08:58
positive in the comments which is very nice I'll tell people who um first of all
00:09:04
watch us and like us thank you first of all but we you know you do this for long
00:09:10
enough you're kind of like and there all of a sudden a story comes into your head and halfway through it you realize you
00:09:16
told that same story 60 episodes ago
00:09:21
you told that between Tom Hanks and Cheryl Crow and your brain is going.
00:09:30
Just say it anywhere. This was doing this was doing fireworks.
00:09:36
Oh yeah. Let me see if I can get half hour ago. What the freak? Wait, we get our screen to make
00:09:42
fireworks. It doesn't [ __ ] We did it by accident and then I did it. Damn it. Life is disappointing
00:09:48
sometimes. So, we'll get to Well, the last thing I'll tell you, this relates to you, but it's really about me, is
00:09:53
good. I position it like it's about you, is that I like it. You're You're very excited because
00:10:00
they're doing a spin-off to one of your favorite movies. Oh, 200. No, we already in 2010.
00:10:08
Mean Happy Gilmore. Oh. Oh, no. Not Hal. Not Hal. No, no, no. That's my friend Tony
00:10:14
Hopkins, right? Nope. Nope. It's this. Well, I'm gonna have to fight you, Bruce
00:10:21
Lee. However you do that. Okay. They're doing like the character of Brad Pitt, Cliff Booth, I think.
00:10:28
Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's a good plan. I like it. Mhm.
00:10:33
Yeah. Beats up Bruce Lee. Remember that? Or a time in Hollywood.
00:10:39
You're kind of pretty for a stunt man. So, here's a They have a picture. He's shooting it right now.
00:10:45
Oh, that's him. So retro. They got a retro wig on him on this one. Yeah. Is he playing me?
00:10:51
That's not you. And that's not Heather. That's They're doing Joe Dirt, too.
00:10:58
Starring Bren Pit. That's He's kind of got sideburns, too. Look, I got No, I guess in the show they're trying
00:11:04
to deage him back to the Well, in the show it was the 60s, so I don't really understand.
00:11:10
Well, did he have this look in the in the movie? No. No, he didn't have long hair. Not long as his hair like this.
00:11:16
Can we show a picture of him? And once upon a time he's a Gonzalez with him, but it probably isn't. That might be early 70s. People like my
00:11:24
dad hated the goddamn long hairs, you know, and he would shave our head. These goddamn long hairs and then by 75 he had
00:11:33
hair over his ears. They adapt later. So maybe that's pit in the 70s. Do you think I think he's playing a
00:11:40
Hollywood fixer? Yeah. See there he's kind of Steve McQueen. Steve McQueen and it's you see
00:11:45
his ear. He's not doing the buffon. So I guess he has to have a little different but I think he's got a wig
00:11:51
because from this thing I saw in this story about he's playing Hollywood kind of a
00:11:56
Hollywood fixer uh back in the day. That makes sense with his skill set which is interesting.
00:12:01
Yeah, I think I think it's a good idea. Probably to make money. You're a stunt man. It's like what do you do? And uh maybe he got old too old to do stunts.
00:12:08
He's out there beating people up and [ __ ] Well, well, in the other movie, he got he wasn't getting stunt work because
00:12:13
he's too much of a hothead. You know, he beat up Bruce Lee. So, then he was just he was the gopher. Hey, man, I'm your
00:12:19
gopher. And I like when you're out of town, out of housesitting up there in the Hollywood Hills. Let's face it, I
00:12:25
haven't worked as a stunt man in a long time. The way I look at it is a lot of things worse than going to Italy and
00:12:31
making some spaghetti westerns. I don't want to go do goddamn spaghetti western. How many you seen? One, two. Come on,
00:12:39
man. Yeah. Sorry. I like the movie. Saw it 11 times. He's great. And the only thing is the director's really
00:12:46
good, but I don't think it's Quinton. It's David Fincher, right? But but Quinton, Quinton, we're
00:12:52
on firstname basis. He is a great director. We should have Quinton on. I don't know
00:12:58
why we don't. Why don't we Why don't you want him? Um I when I hosted for Jimmy Kimmel, he
00:13:06
I said they said, "Who do you want?" I said, "Can I get Quinton Tarantino?" And they said, "Yes."
00:13:11
But I was I was I wanted to talk to him like on a podcast. Yeah. You know, it's all these
00:13:18
commercial breaks and I I was doing impressions of people in the movie. I I don't know. But yeah, I'm I'm I am a
00:13:24
huge fan of We'll put out some feelers. Uh yeah, we'll talk to his team.
00:13:30
Your team talk to your team first. Speaking of movies, this is this is a
00:13:36
Tombstone with Val Kilmer. Can Can you read that? I love it. If I thought you weren't my
00:13:42
friend, I just don't think I could bear it. So, he plays Doc Holiday in this movie so brilliantly,
00:13:49
you know. Wow. You be my hucklebat. If Whoa. If I thought you weren't my friend, I just don't think I could bail
00:13:55
it. I love that movie. It's almost Jimmy Stewart. But this movie is incredible. Is that with Kurt Russell?
00:14:01
Yeah. Because there's two Kurt Russell, I think he does two, but Tombstone had Kurt Russell and it had um
00:14:10
Billy Bob Thornton play when he was kind of chubby plays a guy who Kurt Russell threatens
00:14:15
in a bar. It's it's just great western and Val Kilmer is brilliant in it. His famous line I had wrong. Did you
00:14:22
know this? His famous line I had wrong. I'll be your hucklebearer.
00:14:28
Oh, really? I thought it was I'll be your huckle bear. Huckleberry. Wow. Wow. If I was if I if I thought we
00:14:35
weren't friends, I don't think I'll go bed. I haven't seen the movie lately. My impression is a little wobbly.
00:14:40
Well, I used to say I'll be your huckleberry because he says it to a guy in kind of a flirty like crazy person.
00:14:46
They're going to go in a gunfight and try to kill each other and it's all kind of feminine and like a like a high school dance. I'll be all huckle bear.
00:14:54
But what it is is it's huckle bearer because that's what they called the pawbears to carry the
00:15:01
guy's coffin. God, that's amazing. I've seen the movie at least five times. And so he it's so cool cuz he goes I'll be
00:15:07
your huckleberry. Like I'll be one of the guys that'll carry your coffin when I kill you. I'll be a huckle bear.
00:15:12
Like I'll do you a favor when I kill you. I'll be one of the guys that carries your coffin. That's inside baseball, man. That's
00:15:18
cool. Isn't that cool? Cuz I did not know that. Cuz he his accent was so dense that you just couldn't tell. Oh, he he looked
00:15:24
like a stud. Cool, cool, cool. But um you know, really good. And I'm looking forward to that Cliff Booth one
00:15:30
that a quick Hollywood story. Kind of fun. So I'm doing a movie with Nicholas Cage and John Loveitz Trapped in
00:15:36
Paradise. It's a it's a holiday treat. No, it was it was But anyway, this movie
00:15:42
Tombstone is out at that time, you know, and Kurt Russell is threatening Billy
00:15:48
Bob Thornton like I just mentioned the bar scene and he says and Kirk Russell goes, you know, instead of saying you're
00:15:54
going to draw a gun on me, you're going to throw down, boy, you're going to throw down. So that became a big running
00:16:02
phrase between me and Nicholas Cage. If he thought I did good in a scene, he goes, "Ah, you threw down, man."
00:16:10
That was That was that uh I like it. Um and when does that come
00:16:15
out? Uh 2081, Trapped in Paradise.
00:16:22
Uh it had a lot of potential. John Loveitz, Nicholas Cage, and I But it's that's a whole podcast. We'll bring in
00:16:28
Nicholas Cage and talk and John and bring talk about the movie. Eight podcast series. Were you ever in a
00:16:35
stinker? Yeah, of course. I mean, you don't plan to be, but sometimes
00:16:40
Well, movies are hard to make. They're so They're the worst part is it's hard to make the bad ones. It's
00:16:46
still the long hours. You still have hope. You just don't know. Sometimes when you're shooting, you go,
00:16:52
"This isn't coming out like we thought." I mean, you can just tell and you go, but maybe with editing and you add some
00:16:58
funny noises and some sound and some songs. There's only so much you can gussy up a pig, you know, you can't
00:17:04
really put Well, let me do a little bit of inside baseball. That's twice I've mentioned on
00:17:10
this podcast and it's not baseball. Is that in the early 90s and 80s, some of those big classic comedies, we did
00:17:16
not have digital film. So to make an edit, you would go and the film would be like this giant size of a tire and you'd
00:17:22
spool it, go like that. To make an edit was a big deal. Then it was like,
00:17:29
so I did a scene in Trapped in Paradise. I'm playing kind of a Mickey Roor kid who's not too bright, you know, and he's
00:17:35
up in front of the parole officers and he gets a jawbreaker in his mouth right
00:17:40
as they ask him a question. Yeah. Well, cuz so I took like I made a meal out of it, but it was hysterical in a held
00:17:47
shot, but then I saw the edit. I was like, "Put the jawbreaker in and then I spit it out." It's like boom boom.
00:17:53
Yeah. Editing is big in movies. I could take a comedy scene and make it unfunny.
00:17:58
Mhm. Um Oh, let me see. A movie that I did that
00:18:03
thought it was okay but ended up doing great. Well, you know, there's movies like PCU where we shot that. You might not
00:18:11
remember this one, but it was politically correct university. I remember it. Yeah. I don't know if I saw it, but I remember the title.
00:18:17
I think about it a lot now and it comes up like on Twitter because PCU in the in in this day and age is almost the same
00:18:24
movie. It it holds up as far as there's different factions. There's people that are offended by everything. There's this
00:18:30
and that. So, of course, I play the bad guy. That one was the the funny thing about
00:18:36
that one is it didn't do Blockbuster, but it was pretty good and it hung in there over time, but Jeremy Pivven, me,
00:18:44
John Favro, there's a lot of fun people in it. But when we did it, it was an R-rated movie, and I've never had that
00:18:51
happen. So, I think that's the one where I go, "Open
00:18:56
the door, [ __ ] when I when I'm looking in the door for something." Mhm. And then they go when you go in
00:19:02
there and do the takes on the set the last take they say let's do one for the airplanes basically for cable when they
00:19:11
can't air an R-rated movie. Yeah. So what did you say? So no one even cares about this. So I go open up Steak Head,
00:19:18
right? Whatever. That's funny cuz it's stupid and funny and like whatever. So you always do a PG airline
00:19:25
version and if you swear and it sort of waters down but it's they need it for whatever
00:19:32
to sell it. So anyway the movie is a great director. I mean didn't he he was not the director. He was in the
00:19:38
movie but he's a great actor too. Elf I think. But anyway for me it's it's you know the the shocking thing was
00:19:44
Wayne's world for even m both Mike and I that it became this global smash. I mean, I just thought we thought it'd be
00:19:51
pretty good. You know, it's kind of funny. You know, I had no expectations it would take off.
00:19:56
So, yeah, PCU didn't really quite take off like that. Was PCU?
00:20:02
It was probably my third year of SNL, something like that. And, uh, so
00:20:08
I only did like three weeks on it. Yeah, it was probably the end of the 90s. And, uh, you know, they released it when I
00:20:13
saw it on the poster. I think that's the one. Maybe it was Senseless, but they released it as a PG-13. So they kind of
00:20:20
rat [ __ ] us. They used every airplane version of every take. And so I'm like,
00:20:27
you didn't even try on those t. Yeah. So it's okay. But when you go from an R-rated movie to really watering, you
00:20:32
go, "Oh, this is a different go." I had Animal House. We had those movies were trying to be like, and then you tamp it down. It's like
00:20:40
it's, you know, it's tough, you know, consistency of tone. I mean, it it if there's four or five directors kind of
00:20:48
It can get a little messy like each one want we should do this we should do that when you watch a movie you know we watch
00:20:53
movie everyone does Amazon Prime or Netflix and you're watching a movie it's three minutes you go what am I what am I
00:21:01
watching here I mean what's and the good ones just grab you I don't know it's storytelling I guess
00:21:06
it's storytelling by committee and sometimes there's not a clear vision and it sort of gets turns into everybody's
00:21:12
movie that's how movies get kind of ruined um I mean anyway uh let's get to When I heard the
00:21:18
box office gross from Wayne's World one, what is it? The opening weekend.
00:21:25
[Laughter] Let me see if I can find one for you, too.
00:21:32
This will take too long. [Music] You're still going.
00:21:38
No, you inspired me. I like it. I got one for you. Okay, here's when it came out. You went like
00:21:43
this. It's too much. Let me hear that. That was you. Oh,
00:21:50
you got a boner. Okay. Oh, I got another one. This is funny. Here's me if and when it didn't do as
00:21:57
good as Wayne's World. [Music]
00:22:05
Here's Oh, wait. I already did that one. Here's um No, I'm not doing that one.
00:22:12
I'm not going to be left out of this game. I've got an iPhone. I could say so. Here's Here's Dana after I
00:22:17
accidentally squeak out a toot. No, wait, hang on. Wrong. No, hang on. Here's me when I toot.
00:22:27
Dana likes it. Why are you breathing in my tooth?
00:22:35
Dana, don't try to find a soundboard and pipe.
00:22:41
Here's Dane when Range World worked.
00:22:47
That was pretty good. Hold on. Challenge. Watch the full hour and post it. What does that mean?
00:22:52
This is This is when Joe Dirt came out with the audience.
00:23:01
That's Everyone brought their baby. That's after Joe Dirt. The audience just ran out. They ran out crying and everyone and
00:23:08
their baby was crying. All right, that's fair. I don't like this game anymore. It turned on me now.
00:23:14
Well, well, now I've got a new toy. I love it's so fun. I'll send you this
00:23:19
thing and you can fight back. All right, but the baby thing is All right, let's play a clip of something of
00:23:25
this clip because we got a we got a big day ahead of us. A million things going. Yeah. Okay. Oh, this is interesting. A Chinese
00:23:32
company piled 11 million in cash on a table and employees could take as much
00:23:37
as they wanted. Is a video. See that cash?
00:23:44
Well, that's going to create violence. I mean, we'll see how polite they are. Beep beep beep beep.
00:23:53
Oh, they never pull the trigger. Okay. So, a I'd like to have a I'd like to be
00:23:59
more toward the front if not. You think there's more money in the front? Because I'm grubby. No, I'm staying in
00:24:06
the front row so I can grab. But how much would you take? Well, it depends. I mean, we're not
00:24:12
going to see the melee that's going to happen. Are they going to Is there a number system? I wanted them to show. They don't show
00:24:17
it, I guess. But Well, then you you What would I take? Is I If it's free, don't say 11 million. Do not
00:24:24
No, I would take as much as I could. Now, what what would I take? And if I
00:24:29
counted it and it wasn't what I hoped it was, you know, I would just be
00:24:36
Oh my god, he does it again. Sorry, but a quick one. Okay.
00:24:42
Oh, there's footage of them taking it. Let's go back to that. All right, let's We need to see the footage to have an opinion.
00:24:48
Um, I don't know if it's right there. Let's try it. Comment that. The comment says I like the US would
00:24:53
give everyone a slice of pizza and a 15 cent raise. Show these guys fight.
00:25:01
Um, in the comments it says that they all grabbed and put Oh, I would think like I think in Japan
00:25:09
there's so disciplined that people would be embarrassed to take more than a little.
00:25:14
There is a culture in [ __ ] Japain.
00:25:19
So that was Japan. Yeah. No, that was China. So I don't know that.
00:25:26
No, I think I'm saying I think Japanese are sort of
00:25:31
very like honorable like I wouldn't I'd be embarrassed to take too much. Yes. Right.
00:25:36
Yeah. I maybe Chinese impression. I have not been to Tokyo. I have not been there in so long.
00:25:42
In so long. But I do know I knew someone who lived there and yeah, it's very very polite until it's not polite. Oh,
00:25:51
because that one it would if that was at like the Mall of America that would be a melee. How? Just picture that. You just
00:25:58
go to your work. What do you guys think you deserve? Everyone's like
00:26:03
[Music] I like movies where the bad guys are getting away and they've got all the
00:26:10
cash in the suitcase and then it breaks and then it just flies right at the end all in the street. Everyone's like
00:26:16
drops out of a helicopter and everyone's like These are the people.
00:26:24
Yeah. Oinking it up. Have you said wiener? Yeah, you have said wiener when you I have too much.
00:26:30
Now I want to make sure it's every episode. Okay. All right. I remember this story. Is this about this guy's ears? Okay.
00:26:37
Accused serial booty sniffer. Oh, he's back again in Burbank. That's close to us.
00:26:42
That guy was on Star Trek Deep Space 9, I think, as as Colonel Bachno.
00:26:50
All right. Are they playing this? Is there any video? It's just a Oh, just
00:26:56
Oh, look. There he is in action or do anything to me. But I definitely didn't expect him to do like what the actual
00:27:04
he's digging in there. I'm fine because he hasn't said anything or touched me or anything. But then you notice that he goes over and does the
00:27:10
same thing to this girl and he'll crouch down low and pretend like he's doing something. And then
00:27:15
I think this is I don't know. But he got popped.
00:27:20
Well, who's on camera? Who's on camera? She's filming herself. Cuz she's This has happened moments
00:27:26
before. Either that or she's just like everyone else just filming yourself doing nothing. Yeah. Well, first of all, what's weird
00:27:33
about it? It's my first question. Secondary, what's weird about it? Yeah. I like he
00:27:38
goes for two. Her and the other girl. Men and their hormones and their sex
00:27:44
drive. I don't know why women put up with this. It It is really embarrassing. It's part of the male species.
00:27:49
Hey, where's that Shakespeare book? No, it's not over here.
00:27:55
What sound effect can't you do? Well, that's just sniffing. Well, no. You have
00:28:00
That's for amateurs. Here's a dog sniffing you and then they get tired of it.
00:28:10
Here's a Here's a cat looking at a picture of you.
00:28:16
and then decides to eat the photo and then is really happy and full and goes,
00:28:22
"There you go." And then they throw up a furball. [Laughter]
00:28:29
I give you cues. You're directing me now into But I have that character sound effecty that I do
00:28:36
in my standup sometimes. That's the first 40 minutes of your standup now. Uh it's a funny character because every
00:28:42
effect is the same thing. and he just calls out what he's doing, you know. Mhm. Mhm. All right, let's go. Next story. Big
00:28:48
stories out there. Okay, let's read it. Breaking news. $100 million fire aid funds never reach
00:28:55
victims. 12 nonprofits got the cash instead. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What?
00:29:00
This is such a drag. They do this big benefit for fire aid, you know, because of all the fires in Aladena Pal.
00:29:07
Really? Is this real? They stole the money from Well, they didn't steal it. They gave it to NOS's which I don't even know what
00:29:14
they are and uh non-governmental organizations organizations. Yeah. So they give it to those saying it says on the fire rate
00:29:21
this goes directly to the victims but they give it to all these and say you guys give it or do what you feel and
00:29:28
some of those were sketch. You can go online and look at any charity you want
00:29:34
to give money to and you can find out what they take in and what actually reaches the people you're trying to
00:29:39
help. And sometimes the expenses, the differential is enormous. So
00:29:45
yeah, sometimes 7% gets to the people and that's when you go when you go because they have all this overhead and
00:29:50
stuff. And yeah, it's too bad around here because no one's getting um
00:29:56
I don't think anyone's got anything yet. Yeah. And they're they're divvying it out. It's like one for you, one for me.
00:30:03
Yeah. What? Two for you, five for me, three for you, 10 for me. Hey, wait a minute.
00:30:09
Seems like you're getting more. What do you want me to do? Write you a [ __ ] check. Yeah. 11 for me, S for you.
00:30:16
It's We'll We'll monitor that story, Dana. That's the cool thing about that. We're
00:30:21
turning into action news. Yeah, we're action news. Spade KBY. Action News.
00:30:29
Oh, wait. Dog moves sec. Oh, this is Dog moves a security camera so he can
00:30:36
eat food off the table. If this is real, it's too smart. Dog sees food.
00:30:43
Oh, I like this music. That's the camera.
00:30:50
He moves it over. You can turn the music down a little bit.
00:30:55
So, the cat sees that he's getting away with it. This [ __ ] cat is unreal. Cat comes up.
00:31:02
Well, this can't be real. So, the cat is fixing the camera so the dog will get in trouble. Yeah, that's just it's a funny
00:31:08
bit, but it's not true. But it is a very funny bit. That's funny, Heather. Can cats do that?
00:31:15
I don't look at my cat. Oh, she's looking at her cat cam. That just reminded me. She's taking care of a
00:31:21
cat. She's going to check. Cats are very smart. Cats are very smart. They And they don't
00:31:26
they don't always do these tricks, but they I heard they don't like dogs. I see it in cartoons.
00:31:32
Well, sometimes they meow. But now with AI, we can slow down their meows and it actually sounds like English. So, hey
00:31:38
Frisky, did you move the camera? Yes, I moved it so Bisco
00:31:44
would get in trouble. But all you before AI, all you heard was meow meow meow
00:31:50
meow meow. There's something to say to a cat to make them come over. Yeah, I got to try the m a.
00:31:56
You go m to a cat and they stop what they're doing and walk over. No,
00:32:02
we'll video it and then we'll play it on the next show. Here's another story. Here's a logger.
00:32:08
Okay. Oh, they have to cut this and try to smash a can. So, see that log? Now, look
00:32:14
at the end of it. That can missed it. What did they do wrong? Oh, they're
00:32:20
cutting it in a way that it'll fall the way they want. It'll fall and they want it to nail it. See that can in the bottom right?
00:32:26
Yeah. That the ver first guy, I guess, missed it. He's using his felling sights, whatever
00:32:33
that means. Falling sights, right? No, they they said felling.
00:32:39
Okay, so he's so far from my point of view, he's doing good.
00:32:45
Oh, it's going to go too too far this way. Nope. Get it right, Jack.
00:32:51
Come on. He's got a little helper, Jack. Get it right, Jack. Taking a lot of time, Jack. These
00:32:59
usually hit houses in these scenarios. No. Oh, he's got to do a little be careful.
00:33:04
[Music] Okay, that's what he's trying to hit. Yeah, there's a little circle. Okay,
00:33:10
good luck. Anytime. Come on, buddy. Come on. Yeah, we're ready, guy. Yeah, that's good. We got an hour show.
00:33:16
Yeah. Okay. Oh, he got it.
00:33:24
Oh, it's like a longer competition. That's going to be a Marvel movie. Where was that filmed? At a quarter mile
00:33:31
from your house. Welcome to logger league. We got there's there's we we got buzz saws up here. We got all kinds of stuff.
00:33:38
Yeah, I know. Dan, are you a bit of a logger? Are you? I am. I can't I came from logging
00:33:44
country up in Big Timber, Montana. Um Oh, yeah. You're from Montana. Okay, let's do one more. We got to get out of
00:33:50
here. This one more. We got We got We got to get a question, too. Got a life to lead. This is frustrating. This is not my
00:33:57
video from New York. We'll show next week. But this is only New York. A whole
00:34:04
video. Okay. Um, a whole garbage truck blocked by one
00:34:10
guy. Well, this guy's in the bike lane so he can be there. Mhm. But he's blocking everyone.
00:34:17
Just don't understand why people do this. This is not the first time I see this in New York. Garbage truck is
00:34:24
trying to do its job. pick up the garbage. But this guy on the bicycle is so selfish. He's
00:34:29
crazy. I'd freak out. They're just trying to do their job. Like move out of the way. That would have been so frustrating for me if I
00:34:34
would have been doing this job. Like you could just go on the sidewalk or just move along. Why do you stand there?
00:34:40
Fly on the wall. It seems like he's doing it on purpose. Maybe he's looking at my Jod Morgan wall.
00:34:46
Yeah, he's he's he's strolling through our clips for this podcast, so
00:34:52
he's a little absorbed. Does he move? The guy told him.
00:34:57
Does he move now? Come on, guy. The guy told him. Nope. Guy just got so He's still not moving.
00:35:04
Why is he being so defiant? We got to get him on this podcast cuz that's bad manners.
00:35:09
And you know what? This would be a bad manners corner. I mean, yeah. What did Dick or that behavior
00:35:15
Miss Rachel say? Mhm. Oh boy. you know, he was scrolling and
00:35:20
here's David Spade and Joe Dirt and here's David Spade on Fly on the Wall and here. So, you know, he was a little
00:35:26
absorbed. Here's Dana's Only Fans.
00:35:32
All right. Okay. So, let's do Well, let's do a question. Yeah, a question.
00:35:38
Okay. You read it, David. No, you go ahead. Let me come in for my closeup. My question is for both of you.
00:35:45
Obviously, you both had much success in the entertainment industry. Thank you. Yes. Was there ever a time where you
00:35:52
were ready to give up? You're ready to throw in the towel and say, "I don't want to do this anymore." As for me, I'm
00:35:58
an airline pilot. Whoa. Got my props. And I know I've had that thought at
00:36:04
times. Happy that I stuck it out as I now fly widebody jets around the world.
00:36:11
Huh. Right. I think any any job You have to remember there is an element
00:36:18
of work whether it's a lot of the element or not because our job seems fun in the outside which it's pretty fun but
00:36:24
sometimes it gets tough where you want to quit now we've done okay at the beginning in the first five 10 year sure
00:36:33
every day it would cross my mind I mean you're in a you're in a sketchy job I mean in our particular case standup is
00:36:40
not where you're making money today it's almost a viable, you know, uh, career to go into. But
00:36:48
back then it was like no scene, no one making cash. Very hard to It's like officer and
00:36:56
gentleman. You're like, I got nowhere else to go. You go, I this is all I can do. Yeah. I bombed a lot. I bombed a lot the
00:37:03
first three years. You know, I had some good sets and then a lot of bombs. I quit several times standup. And then I
00:37:09
did a lot of TV shows and pilots. Blue Thunder bombed and um I did a movie with
00:37:14
Kirk Doug Bert Lancaster. It bombed. So everything bombed till SNL and then afterwards it hasn't been pretty either.
00:37:20
So I would just say at this point if you do your job well then people don't think
00:37:28
you're working even though you and I know there's behind the scenes. You come out at David Spade and 3,000 people, you
00:37:34
know, you've been checking your notes. You're flying in. You've been doing this for years. You're honing trying to fit in new stuff. You got to be up and tight
00:37:42
for an hour. And if you do your job right, they're like, "David just showed up. I get the general gym."
00:37:47
Looks easy. Yeah. But you don't want a pilot to be sweaty. You don't want to go visit the cockpit and he's got a he's sweat coming down.
00:37:54
Let's see if we can do this, man. So, I'm glad that he loves his job now. I don't want an angry disappointed pilot
00:38:01
up there. But my question for this guy, you secretly, because a lot of people tell me this, I wanted to go into show
00:38:08
business. I always wanted to be an actor. I mean, if your job is like a real job,
00:38:15
tough. Most jobs are very hard. Um, it's nice. They always say you should love your job. It's It's almost impossible
00:38:21
because it's very rare that jobs are so hard these days to make any money.
00:38:26
You're going to love it. But if you can just get through it because it is tough out there. I think, you know, obviously we're we
00:38:32
don't we're not in a chain gang, but a lot of the emotional violence goes on in your head. So if you're in a movie and
00:38:37
it sucks and the whole world's saying you suck, it's mentally I call it an emotionally violent sport and then
00:38:44
there's also incredibly great things about it because sometimes you're going I get paid to do this. What? So it's
00:38:50
everything. Yeah. You don't want your pilot to go to the co-pilot. You know what? I was thinking about calling it quits, you
00:38:56
know? So, uh, you don't want that from your pilot, but this guy seems like he
00:39:01
got straightened out. jobs in general. I don't know if he means showbiz, but jobs in general are it's tough every day. Of
00:39:08
course, I have a very talented brother and he was a musician but decided the
00:39:15
lifestyle wasn't for him and heard that he wanted a brain deadad shitbox job.
00:39:21
So, he wanted it's like the Peter principle they call he wanted a job that was really easy for him and then he would have his weekends. So there are,
00:39:28
you know, there's the money and then there's also the how you fit it into your brain and your lifestyle. When I
00:39:34
see someone on a lawn boy mowing their lawn, a gardener, and then they finish the lawn and it's truly finished,
00:39:41
I I like the envy that the metric of the clarity of that. But with show business, I'll just say it's
00:39:49
always kind of there. It's weird. I don't know how to describe it. You go months, then you do something,
00:39:54
and then you don't do anything. It's just very odd. Yeah. You're getting calls and that you're plays with your emotions, then you're cold, then you're cold, then
00:40:01
you're hot. And you were I mean, just to be honest, man, you were cold for a long time. I mean,
00:40:07
20 year chunk, but you've been hot the last 15, man. I don't like I would never go to
00:40:13
Disneyland with you. I would never go to Thank you. mobbed.
00:40:18
Well, I hope that answers some of the question and you can put your questions in. What is the question thing, Dana?
00:40:24
You got to email it in. Um, fly onthe-wall at odyssey.com.
00:40:31
It is. Yeah. Fly onthe-wall at odyssey, which is spelled a u da c y.com.
00:40:37
Yeah. And um so send us that. We'll read a question. Keep the keep the questions kind of
00:40:43
short but kind of snug. We're narcissists by nature, so it gives us a chance to discuss our life and our
00:40:49
feelings. So we really we really appreciate it. But to that pilot, you may have driven me in the sky
00:40:56
and didn't even know it. But hopefully I gave you a couple laughs, but some pilots drive me crazy.
00:41:03
There you go. Good wrap-up, you guys. Thank you, Dana. Thanks for coming on. And uh
00:41:08
thank you for coming on and welcome to and thank you for watching another edition of Can You Say Wier?
00:41:18
[Music] Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast,
00:41:25
which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us a review, fivestar rating, and maybe even
00:41:31
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00:41:37
We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David
00:41:43
Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah
00:41:48
Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet
00:41:55
Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa
00:42:04
Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kurt
00:42:10
Courtourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out with us any questions be asked and answered on the show. You can email us
00:42:17
at fly onthealla.com. That's audacy.com.
