00:00:00
we are on Superfly anyone still listening is anyone still listening we
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should just show all that beginning because that's more interesting how we both you're too loud you're too soft I
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can't hear you what's going on ABS more interesting BTS yes
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people polished show and thank you I shouldn't say this for sticking to the
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script about the pre-plan and technical difficulties your acting was terrific if
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this acting is in the bus boy movie no to the Moon oh F I smell an Oscar
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nomination [Music] shum well I will say welcome to Superfly
00:00:49
there's lots to go over this is a big show Dana that's Li one but no it is a
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good show I will say I was going through the YouTube comments some people now they know we go through so they get a
00:01:02
little spicy in there most people no they rile me up when they go like this
00:01:07
they don't like some story some angle we took and they go stay in your lane
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boys I'm so I don't give a f what stay in your Lan on the free show you're
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getting they go just stick to more jokes and I'll keep peeping it I go your
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free show isn't going the way you want are you okay how about we do whatever we want I know and I does not sound like
00:01:32
you know the real Jerry Seinfeld it does not I believe that's someone using the name spelling it with two y's or
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something Jerry you think that's Jerry commenting I don't think it is but I see sometimes I'll see comments and it's
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Jerry Seinfeld or Tim Dylan or it's you know and I go these are fake outs Jerry's not F stay in your lane it's not
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stay your lane no I will say sometimes if you get
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Krabby on the comments don't cry too hard cuz you get tears in your iPhone
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you have to put it in rice sorry you have to put it in rice and then you punch somebody because you're so
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frustrated then you have to put that in rice you need two bowls of rice God talk about frustrated Daya I'll tell you one
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quick story that will bore the [ __ ] out then i' I've got five bits right after I'm my Lane if you can get through
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this bitless story I'm just saying sometimes I go on The Daily Mail which
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is also my friend refers to as the daily nailed because they always just bust people doing stuff tot it is funny Daily
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Mail is you know light-hearted garbage I mean it's really nothing it's a it's a
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ruthless robot driven algorithm and they they will do the most the most kind of
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gotta click on it and then they ask for your email they have these little this little thing that says M on a thing and
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then you have to start getting involved with the algorithms like no let me tell have to know about women sexually okay
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you got me boom yeah listen you just want to click on some cute little story
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about Megan marle like tripping on a fire hydrant you're like I got some free time I'll click on that sure but they
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they're all like this person puts on a leggy display you know those kind of
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things busty blond display yeah cheeky display I think it's from Europe
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whatever her per bottom right so a bunch of okay culmination of
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dumb stories that's fair I'm sure they would say it the same way I I think that's fair I think you're in your lane so far you're in your lane stay in your
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lane Spade don't you go after Daily Mail I'm not I watch this garbage and believe me I take the time to click the X's
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because there's 500 ads on the side they pop in your face they click they block something I'm just trying to dodge
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bullets so I can hear you know one crummy story so anyway now they say
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every third story is like this is Daily Mail Plus sorry what's that you can't
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read it unless you give us a buck 99 that's what I was talking about you put it better yeah you jumped ahead yeah
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kind I jumped all over your bit so what's what's the funny part there's no real bid it's just saying like I don't I
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don't have an extra $1.99 to give to I like free garbage I don't want to pay look that's really here's the thing you
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go on that thing it's it's what they call a guilty pleasure I I don't know who thought of that why you'd be guilty
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the reason you look at TMZ and these sites is because once in a while because
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they don't give a [ __ ] they got a team of lawyers Daily Mail has 10 million reporters around the world yeah just
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regular people here's 500 bucks and so once in a while they get it right and
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they jump regular media and that's why you look once in a while they said two
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weeks ago Trump's gonna do tariffs and crash the global economy so I clicked on it you know they predicted it right I
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will say that it's like Duma there's ones that Duma did the smart thing where they go hey everyone's a personal
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Paparazzi so rat out everyone you see at all times and there will be nowh to hide in the world so that worked because then
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people do that but then they run into some legalities but you know overall
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it's it's same thing so Daily Mail I'm here to protest the
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$1.99 they get there's so many ads and so many things in there you're making a killing you're making it so hard to read
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and watch already and now every third story about you know Prince Harry uh
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yesterday he might have been wearing a bucket hat did he buy it or not click here and I'm like all right then it's
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like don't try no no no no don't try to get the free story I'm not to click on bucket hat will I would I want to click
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on it am I fascinated by what that guy on that Ginger Cranium yes am I going to
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click on let me tell you this the entire thing is written by AI robots IE so they had a
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meeting you can do one of the voices I'll do one of the a voices how much should we charge for Daily Mail Plus 99
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Cents 199 they will is is not as offensive people might be able to scrape
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it together even though just the idea of it makes me physically ill I I do I have
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what you call a a release bucket next to me when I'm watching Daily Mail in case
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I I uh get one on Deck what did Wayne's World say what would Wayne say if you
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hurl then I'm gonna spew if you spew I'll get my PUK bucket yeah but I'll
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tell you what human beings were ready for the wheel they were ready for fire
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they were ready for the printing press they were ready for electricity they were ready maybe even for nuclear power
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but are they ready for robot driven AIS brainwashing us into rage and anger
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because it a if it outrages it's contagious and I'm staying in my Lane well I'm glad you're you're
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reminding yourself to stay in your lane but uh well I think that's the name of a a podcast the most boring
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podcast we stay in our lane hi we're stay in your lane hi what uh it was
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sunny today what is our lane they're like just do your Dopey jokes I'm like well I know that we we seem as if uh
00:07:34
it's entertaining enough that we have a script that we're reading from on the computer but believe it or not you know
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right now as much as we know about what we're gonna say next we have no idea we
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have no idea but I'm gonna you want robots you want comedy hire robots I'm gonna do you boring yeah then you want
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boring you that's us that's us stay right all right so I get I get comments
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on my you know do red red necki so I wrote two 10 minutes ago they're not very good but they're red red necki the
00:08:07
red neck comedian and he's been gone for a while red R yeah he's still still around and these are not my best jokes
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but at least I'm doing them and sure he's a comedian and jokes his jokes
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maybe aren't the best jokes okay here we go let's try one I'm gonna see if I can get a smile out of
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okay David not too much pressure I'm red red necki
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the redneck comedian my mama said red only bleach will get the skid marks out of your underpants I said do what you
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got to do Mom because I need my taty whes before the sity Hawkins dance come and get
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[Music] some let's go to the judges Heather what do you
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think does she know what Satie Hawkins is oh she does okay it just felt funny it just makes no sense it sounds funny
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yeah I like it my daddy said help me change this tire red I said why you've
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got four flats he said red that power of observation yours is gonna take you far
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life come and gets home so he he asks the girl to the dance and then he's thinks his underpants will
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come off we're going back one we're going back because yeah okay I'll read it
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slowly like a professor okay okay let's break it down class my mama said red
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that's her nickname for her son only bleach will get the skid marks out of your
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underpants that's the setup I got that part I said do what you got to do Mama
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it should be Mama but I need my tidy wies back in time for the sity Hawkins
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dance come and get on okay tidy wh is is a funny term for little Underpants I said Underpants first sk tid skitter
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barks is funny and okay do an assist I need a better payoff I need my W his
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back for sad Hawkins is just not doing it in case I get in a car
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crash I need my tidy wiers back in case I [ __ ] my pants yeah because in a car
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crash they say a lot of people [ __ ] their pants so wear clean under mama I do not want to take a dump in my tid
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wates if they they got skid marks on them I need fresh trackss she that might be a little
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lengthy but yeah I'm getting a smile I'm getting we're getting there like it I like the breakdown behind the scenes of
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red red necki so daddy says help me change the tie I said why you've got four flats and
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the dad well damn red it's that power of observation is GNA help you go far so
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that's that well first of all it's good he's talking to both parents there's a lot of communication yeah uh and so the
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dad is teaching him life lessons and that's good he's he notices four flats yeah and I can't beat my Classics like
00:10:58
what's for din Daddy I said Daddy what's for dinner he said [ __ ] on a shingle I said this day just keeps getting better
00:11:05
and better come I gets home they should be like that's one of the best ones that's one of the greatest jokes of all
00:11:12
time the best one was the first one and it's a little outside the lane but he said I'm red redneck the redneck
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comedian I made my sister only CU Mama took me down come and get some I married
00:11:27
my sister yeah I agree that one is top 10 that's top five all right I know it's exhausting I was in Sun Valley I did a
00:11:35
couple Carson uh getting p over when you said last week wait last week you said you
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were in Ketchum and I didn't know if everyone knew that Ketchum was probably
00:11:46
a beautiful city in Idaho it's in Idaho it's next to Sun
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Valley and I'd seen the name catch him but Sun Valley has you know it's like balla it's all the celebrities and all
00:11:59
this gorgeousness and I assume that catch him would be a [ __ ] hole but I got
00:12:06
to catch him and it's gorgeous and then I started reading up on the history of Ketchum and it was about uh Crooks and
00:12:13
thieves would rob the bank and winam Mona Nevada go up north into into
00:12:18
Ketchum in Sun Valley to hide and this one Sheriff was so p snicky and so
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persistent he would get a posy and Chas the bad guys up into the town to catch
00:12:31
him but in that days it was just Sun Valley and he goes folk he go they go hey hey I hey Sheriff I don't think
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we're gonna catch him let's go back to winam Maka he says we gotta catch him you kidding we're gonna catch him if the
00:12:45
last thing we do in fact I'm calling this pot of Sun Valley catch him Jesus
00:12:51
is this we're stumbling back into a red R necki joke can you go to catch him
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you got skid marks and catch them so that's how Ketchum came up these
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Bandits would Chase and if not had a bathroom break in 400 miles you can bet they got skid marks yeah thank you a
00:13:15
this is a running theme all right I can switch to Carson because Carson killed so hard and catch him that I love and I
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don't know if I've done this one on our show okay okay I like the name I don't think I can top this name well first
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I'll do a warm-up one okay okay sorry officer I didn't know I was swering I
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had a triple whiskey sour at Banana Dan's yeah I like banana Dan banana Dan
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right this is the one that won the day and catch him won the day sorry officer
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sorry officer I didn't know I was swerving I had a double leaky giraffe at the desperate sponge
00:13:58
[Laughter] I'm laughing Heather's drifting off but
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Heather oh she can't hear that well she can't hear that oh you can't hear Dana at all she can't hear me at all then
00:14:09
that's would would we got to get her a mic that's tampering your jokes a little bit she laughs at all your jokes but I
00:14:16
saw you got I got a big smile at one of the great I laugh at it because uh what
00:14:21
was a sponge one desper sponge yeah I had a Le hard to come up with you can do
00:14:27
you can do those wrong because there's some sponge is funny to me I don't think I can top desperate sponge I've got a
00:14:32
lot of feedback on it this is for anybody wants to leave in the comments uh we started out slippery
00:14:39
monkeys at the hook and crook two frozen soldiers at the windy shumit but now we
00:14:47
have you know a double decker a vodka up with a Twist at the desperate sponge desperate sponge is like damn how do you
00:14:54
beat it first of all he saying it like Carson is 88% of it and then you just have to have a little funny puncher at
00:15:00
the end funny name yeah because it's some way of tapping into 1970s Carson's
00:15:08
pulled over that the drink places and the drinks they send Carson to AA and he
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says I had a desperate R I had a leaky giraff do you have a drinking problem I think you have a a language
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problem there's no cocktail really involved a lot of those places are closed now I haven't heard of any of
00:15:25
them I've never been to any of those places the windy Summit is still there yeah they're shutting down so many
00:15:31
things but Carson went AA and he goes I had a I had a uh I had a two slippery
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monkeys na at the desperate sponge I have a real question a little out of my
00:15:43
Lane but was Carson a sex attic yes have you heard that I know a lot of things I
00:15:51
know someone who dated Johnny Carson for a year when he was 25 when she was he
00:15:56
was 55 she was 25 he said she had a slippery nipple slippery you should uh
00:16:02
you know look I don't know if this is true I don't even get sued but he like poppers Amal nitrate yeah take some of this and
00:16:10
you'll come like a banshee oh now I got to laugh yeah you're getting into the
00:16:16
out of your lane I'm getting out of my Lane I'm being blue and scatalogical today yeah let's go to clean stuffff
00:16:24
[Music]
00:16:31
we can go to the headlines but what else you got might have some other St more thing I checked in with my good friend
00:16:36
the one and only Lauren Michaels oh and Lauren and I want to talk about the good night incident with
00:16:43
you in a second oh yeah that's right but with with Lauren as you know he's become very interested in the Lively balini
00:16:51
thing but I just wanted to talk to him about last week's show and who's he got coming up in April so Lauren how are you
00:16:56
coming so he texted back up there's I think that Lively will probably settle
00:17:02
because I think Baldini's got the upper hand and I texted yeah but who's the host coming up um Lively's team thinks
00:17:11
that his Baldini's claims will be debunked immediately yeah but I mean in
00:17:16
May or you have any guests I um it's said to go to trial in March um I think
00:17:22
it'll get nastier until it gets less nastier right about any musical guests
00:17:28
we should know about or any reunions um it's a classic sexual
00:17:33
harassment I think the evidentiary proof is there if you want to present it in
00:17:39
court he seems like he's not even answering what you're asking are you going to I know it seems like he's ignoring my text are you GNA go to
00:17:45
amaganset this summer um Reynolds also has a counter suit that's going to come
00:17:50
in and bini will have to defend on both sides sometimes when he texts me he put
00:17:56
I'm not believing what RR is saying I'm like is that Ryan Reynolds obviously
00:18:02
this is the kind of thing that if you like it you like it if you don't you're like right now a lot what percentage of
00:18:08
people listening to us are right now ironing a shirt probably probably 18 to
00:18:14
20 see some hands yeah yeah phones are lighting up okay I have a couple more I
00:18:20
have one last one the Japanese gy and earthquake oh CU but you just got served
00:18:26
at on a plate last week because was an earthquake but he he got his building got retrofitted he retrofitted his
00:18:34
building he's a little [ __ ] here on the phone
00:18:42
retroit retroit not a
00:18:47
problem R rro retro rro retroit uh you okay for
00:18:55
earthquake retroit you hands retrofit
00:19:00
retrofit retroit and Ste I can't you know what I
00:19:07
have to do David now the problem is you have to use two hands for that bit the thing that you have you have an arm the
00:19:14
next time you see me on this oh for this I'm going to have an arm because I'm doing too many act outs and I don't have
00:19:19
a hand too much I couldn't talk on the phone I have retrofit no problem RIT We Stand earthquake you know
00:19:27
so or you someone you need like Heather to come there and shake the bit like shake
00:19:34
the computer yeah Heather can be my my sidekick my my Puppeteer all right so the Morgan wall
00:19:42
and we'll put this to bed it's big story this week biggest story history we're the final word on it because between the
00:19:48
two of us we've been to about 300 good nights yeah okay so first of
00:19:56
all let's break down found the good nights do you did you enjoy the good nights cuz he just walked off the good
00:20:04
nights are the part of the show you hear [Music]
00:20:09
the yeah like Cheryl whoever it was whoever does now play a piano it means
00:20:15
we're out of show but we've got about 45 seconds to get one on stage say good
00:20:20
night you mention the host you thank any special guests you thank the music and
00:20:26
then you thank the cast and then they do the credits and everyone hugs or whatever they do right and depending on
00:20:32
the length of the show the good night could be longer oh yeah people don't know that it it it it expands or
00:20:38
contracts if they couldn't fit in a sketch and we've got it okay we're going to have a [ __ ] three minute good night B keeps playing so then you
00:20:47
there's strategies where you you can die in a vine out the good nights because if it's three minutes and you don't know it
00:20:52
well there now he's just like see later I don't know he walks right into the [ __ ] a camera half the cast members
00:21:00
have covid and he just got away but look
00:21:05
good nights if it was cancelled would you be sad I mean I know Lauren's a genius you got to have it the audience
00:21:12
loves it I don't mind it yeah but you know the strategy of like this if you're
00:21:18
new you if you have a nose for the lens your parents are watching you want to
00:21:23
get up front but you don't want to look like a greedy [ __ ] so you hang in the
00:21:28
back and wait for your moment what I did when I was there in the fall doing Biden
00:21:34
whoops go ahead I would take a cast member or I took Alec Baldwin or I took a cast member and I put my armor around
00:21:41
him bring him up front and then turn him this way and that way I did it with you know Heidi or Ashley different show them
00:21:48
off well so that they don't have to be hungry for the to have their mom and desk then I'd ask go my Mom and Dad
00:21:54
loved it what you want is the host to immediately turn around and do a beine
00:22:00
towards you and give you a huge hug on camera that's the ideal situation as a cast member uh but the host doesn't know
00:22:07
what to do either they don't know how much time they have so they're just killing time and vamping and then
00:22:13
they're kind of eyeballing the monitor going are we still going so hug hug hug kiss kiss kiss you were great more hug I
00:22:20
try to stay in the back row we've talked about this if I was light in the show I didn't deserve a lot of times I wouldn't
00:22:25
go to the good nights because I was wasn't in the show so I'm like I don't I shouldn't be up there it's so that was
00:22:32
my personal argument with myself and yeah well I almost well I shouldn't
00:22:39
really say this but this guy is incredibly nice guy uh brilliant song
00:22:45
songwriter and performer shabui Shabu what's his name shabzi shabui came up
00:22:51
and he's such a big person that he picked me up and then he got a someone
00:22:57
pulled him a chair he got me on lap like I was a marionette and I I yeah you're a puppet I was a puppet and
00:23:03
he too far ahead of dude jacuzzi when I saw him backstage great I thought it was
00:23:10
Derrik Henry he's the hugest coolest looking yeah start I wanted him to I
00:23:16
wanted to just be friends with him so I could walk around with the gentlest nicest uh personality he doesn't wear
00:23:22
his you know he looks like an NBA forward or something like his size of man is like I don't know 69
00:23:29
260 and then yeah I don't even know if he knew me because I walked by and he goes what's up [ __ ] I go was he the
00:23:35
music guest when you did Hunter Biden yeah okay so maybe he picked both of us
00:23:41
up and we were both sitting on a yeah he put me in his hand like Stuart Little at the good nights Stuart Little
00:23:48
was huge for me in the fourth grade don't don't hit me with steuart little is Stuart Little the mouse or Mouse get
00:23:55
in a little peepot and go down a river Jes [ __ ] amazing he had he made a
00:24:00
peepot a canoe yeah [ __ ] little could do anything pretty
00:24:06
inventive uh and they float I guess I should float they I don't want to troubleshoot the Stewart little too hard
00:24:12
you probably you were probably in fourth grade in the yellow book or the red book you were still you're still trying to figure out how to say c-spot run
00:24:19
probably oh my God this I've never been so insulted were you in the BL not in your lane dude were you in the Blue Book
00:24:26
what's Blue Book does that mean there was a series of books where you got smarter you got different colors that I
00:24:32
felt bad cuz my brothers had dyslexia so in third grade they were in the red books there the red the yellow green and
00:24:38
then blue and then this secret society with the purple book that the smart people I went in there and they had a
00:24:45
huge picture of you as a four-year-old I'm like black and white photo I was like what who the [ __ ] is that guy no
00:24:51
joke me and the Vietnamese kid used to walk down to fourth grade reading and math when I was second grade so I don't
00:24:57
want to over talk about that but I will say this to try to get some action this
00:25:02
was a panty dropper we would do our times taes and you get like you get like a sheet 8 * 756 9 * 981 you know you
00:25:11
just go through but I was good at Tim tables so you get them and they go teacher goes just do it as fast as you can whenever no rush you know it's not a
00:25:18
contest it was 100% a contest for me the only thing I could win so I would do it
00:25:24
and you're just supposed to gently turn it over and wait for the class I would finish it go like this and then I
00:25:35
go what's everybody doing this weekend Oh should I not talk are we not is everyone not done oh so I shouldn't talk
00:25:41
oh shh oh people are still doing it oh literally every other person is still doing it okay sh I just be teacher's
00:25:47
like shut the [ __ ] up I'm like no I know I just didn't know I thought we were all equal I didn't know my intelligence level was through the roof like a
00:25:52
Skyrocket so I did it and then and then I'm like are we can we talk yet that was
00:26:00
so embarrassing the loud turnover was really my signature move okay 7 time 13
00:26:06
you have one second seven times thir no I don't no no no Dana Dana listen Dana
00:26:12
91 we we don't 7 * 13 is 91 of course
00:26:18
well we don't go over whoops sometimes brainia acts come in
00:26:24
bunches no our little test we did I wasn't ready for that by the way um
00:26:32
sometimes it was only single digit single digit oh but don't quiz me now I was smart in fourth grade I told you I'm
00:26:37
dumb now I always hated 12 I 12 12 was 144 but I always hated 12 time 13 or 12
00:26:45
times 11 that [ __ ] me up the nines have a good trick because they always
00:26:50
add up to nine you know 81 at you know 81 so I was the smallest kid in my class
00:26:56
in four third or fourth grade and my best friend was Clint small as Clint in your puss what you sorry it's an x-rated
00:27:03
show Clint kid Clint Ken was my best
00:27:09
friend and we were both about the same height and he was a WI a math whiz wait who was the other guy Clem Chen was his
00:27:15
name my oh is he Chinese I suppose so I I don't I don't look at race I just look at I don't see color I don't see names I
00:27:22
don't see numbers I don't see letters yeah but he was Vietnamese I had a Vietnamese kid named
00:27:29
Shen Lawrence and I just saw Shen he came to the show remember how that yeah came backstage I was on a plane once and
00:27:36
Clen Chen walked past me Clen Chen now this sounds made up Shen Lawrence I is
00:27:43
real God is my witness it was CLM Chen uh he was one of my best friends
00:27:50
third fourth grade and he he was definitely a really smart kid you know
00:27:55
so and we were both tiny yeah yeah I was [ __ ] microscopic and when they did
00:28:00
the they did the uh cast picture the class picture you know yeah it starts with the teensiest and goes up it was me
00:28:08
first then girl girl girl girl girl girl girl now we start the guys and the girls mixing in together talk about a stie
00:28:16
Hawkins dance in junior high and then some start crying someone you know Crimson and Clover was mine crimson and
00:28:23
cl I get adrenalized panic attack and then I go up to a girl was probably two
00:28:29
feet taller than me minimum me to C Kathy Davenport you know then he's like
00:28:36
crimson and so humiliating dude listen I can't even stand you get on Tik Tok and they're
00:28:42
like where are my short Kings short King I don't like short King there I said it
00:28:47
you you can't add a word King and think it erases the first word I'm like yeah
00:28:52
where's my fat Queens no no you're my you're my plumpy princess
00:28:58
it's a complt you're plumpy princess I'm still processing short Kings I mean short King
00:29:05
summer Dana it's coming back maybe it's over maybe it's pipsqueak winter I don't
00:29:10
know what it is right now in the spring time right now a little early for the summer but uh you know um I don't like
00:29:18
it it's offensive look and 80 80-year-old woman who weighs 70 PBS with
00:29:25
a revolver can destroy any human man in about three seconds so this whole idea
00:29:33
like being being 68 and guarding everyone with a sword that was a big
00:29:38
deal now it's all about oh in the old days all about what's between the ears mofo I try to say that to people they
00:29:45
don't buy it girls on Tik Tok like I went on a date last night he was he said he was
00:29:51
6'4 he's only 62 but hey short King summer and then he only made 400 Grand
00:29:56
which is fine but you know what everyone's not a millionaire he's [ __ ] scratching and scraping so we
00:30:02
went to dinner and I was like oh he picked up the menu I was like he picks it up like a girl but whatever
00:30:08
anyway these are like girls reviewing their dates on Tik Tok well why is this
00:30:14
phrase exists we haven't planned this okay funny is money tall is is there a
00:30:20
thing for tall is no tall just rules the world tall you need nothing else just be
00:30:26
tall that's it um girls are like the Hunt is over actually
00:30:32
Marcela marchella Marcel Marcelo Marcelo our buddy from SNL we should have
00:30:38
actually checked in with our correspondent Sarah Sherman is ask about Morgan Wallen but um we're still talking
00:30:43
about that but Marcelo had a good bit about that I saw him at the comedy store actually did a set we did a set about a
00:30:49
week ago he was funny was it about being tall or short he does thing he's not that tall and he uh he uh he talks about
00:30:57
it you know he's funny funny kid he had good let me just couple couple things Al
00:31:04
Pacino like if you watch alucino great ass oh yeah what are you gonna do where
00:31:10
you gonna go you don't know what are you say I like I like the
00:31:17
quiet yeah what you gonna do M what you gonna say well I'm doing so a little bit
00:31:22
of Scarface but with him hya hoah great ass I'll take a
00:31:28
flamethrower that you got me what was that one in Son of a woman I don't know
00:31:34
where I heard it I'll take a flamethrower to this place flamethrower to his ass he took it to of the girl's ass I'll
00:31:41
take a flamethrower to your ass well you're our greatest movie star look at
00:31:47
Godfather want to and on and on and on and on in recent things that he's done biopics and stuff but they didn't want
00:31:54
him and for The Godfather say five five okay that means he's probably 5'4 so
00:32:01
which is five go ahead and Marcelo has this and marcelo's not he's fine he's
00:32:06
proba you know whatever he is with his hair he's 61 yeah no but he's a personality of Pacino you never think
00:32:13
about or talk about it same thing with Dustin Hoffman it's not an issue you
00:32:19
just Tommy Cruz is 311 Tom if Tom Cruz and I were
00:32:25
Barefoot and looking at each other guess I don't think he's as tall as you
00:32:30
no no way no way but D Dana is taller than you think uh no every time I see
00:32:38
you I think you're I I go you're taller than I think H I tell you what posture man posture no I also think you slump
00:32:45
anyway I slump but my point is uh Tom Cruz who's a at this point let's face it
00:32:51
a freak as far as a filmm he's getting there he's going to be a bonified movie star one more hit he's in the Frink
00:32:58
level uh of uh of our movie star so anyway all I'm saying is
00:33:05
whatever I will tell you that to wrap it all up in a tidy boow Morgan Wallen my
00:33:10
humble opinion was hot take he just had to get out of there like I again we exp
00:33:18
explaining the the good nights I think he says good night they sure everybody and he waves then he hugs Mikey Madison
00:33:24
and says hey great time take it easy I got a boogie and he split I think to go to another
00:33:30
road gig and he had a private jet and he but I think everyone took more offense than it was if it was a regular some of
00:33:37
those good nights could have cut off by them I don't think he's trying to be no the only thing he did was but I guess
00:33:44
bother people some he instagramed or whatever he did yeah get me to God's country and he had a private jet
00:33:51
there where's God's country again I don't know it is it ain't in Manhattan apparently by the way it was such a
00:33:57
story story that he has merch now no joke that says get me to God's country I know did you know that Heather mhm we
00:34:04
can pull it up if you want but I think it's in the shape if I have a Keen Eye of the cers logo old cers right
00:34:12
font okay yeah uh but let's get to some let's get to some hot H [ __ ] stories
00:34:18
let's do it we did it we we don't know these stories we're going to try to figure it out M Oh Katie Perry says
00:34:25
she's going to put the ass in astronaut and a wife wild interview ahead of the all okay Dana I have a good question
00:34:30
about this because I read about this you know that all these females are going to space right right and there's
00:34:37
there's probably six okay okay so there's Lauren Sanchez we know Katy
00:34:44
Perry Gail kangan three I think astronaut maybe it's just all actual astronauts so they go into space so I'm
00:34:50
reading the story I've heard about the story for a couple weeks the training the whatever mhm how many days do you
00:34:57
think they up there um there my guess was 10 days oh
00:35:02
no I mean this is blue origin this is this toy this it's more like a toy compared to SpaceX uh They Are Up In
00:35:10
Space for maybe three to four minutes 11 minutes Dan it don't undercut and you
00:35:16
should guess really high and then I give you the [ __ ] news and then you go holy [ __ ] I know I blew it let's let's
00:35:23
rewind my God three to four minutes rewind that's a space trip I'm like
00:35:28
you could just go on the World Trade Center in Stand bad example you could go to
00:35:34
the Statue of Liberty and stand on the top what else is tall and just say I'm
00:35:40
almost as high as they're going to be so I thought they went to [ __ ] the moon or something I I'm honestly so
00:35:46
stupid Heather what did you think no idea no idea well you're you're training
00:35:51
you're going to face it's this big a deal how about this is an afterthought you go oh you guys yesterday was fun we
00:35:57
got to go up in that thing we kind of buzzed around right for 11 minutes and came back it there there's no is that
00:36:04
what people are paying 250 Grand a yeah you go you go past the Thin Blue Blue
00:36:10
Line of our atmosphere and you get into space and then your waight lless for a little bit and you're looking down that's where William Shatner came off as
00:36:17
a billy Shatner poet I it's can't believe I went into space Spade is
00:36:23
shocked I will say that it sound listen it's definitely
00:36:28
interesting I think it was it's hyped up a little more of a big deal than it might be it's definitely cool it's yeah
00:36:34
I'm sure I mean it's blown people's minds if I but you have to learn how to float and learn how to do this and train
00:36:40
underwater I thought they were doing all that stuff William
00:36:46
sh1 you know so I think people can do it I just think they're gonna have to account for Lauren Sanchez her you know
00:36:54
the weightiness of her excuse me um continue go ahead I'm not going to say it inching
00:37:01
out of your lane hitting the double lines here we go now I'm
00:37:08
centered well no it's I think it's I think it's an incredible thing it's just not SpaceX you know they're not going to
00:37:14
the space St that's what I thought they were doing I thought they're going the space go around the world in SpaceX you
00:37:19
know okay how about this Dana what's the belt or the name I will know if you say
00:37:25
it where they're saying you can't I've heard of a Ryan's belt is that the one where you can't get through it without
00:37:31
burning up and they're saying that's why constellation you if you're looking up
00:37:36
at the night sky and you see something looks like a belt I'm out of my Lane right
00:37:42
now what what's or Orion's belt loop then is that something else that's the
00:37:47
belt goes through it I'm kidding but uh I'm saying that
00:37:53
there's firmament oh I don't know all these words there's something where there's saying if the people that say we
00:37:58
didn't go to the moon say we can't get through something cuz you burn up so we can only go up and come down up and come
00:38:04
down we can't go all the way is that something it'll be in the [ __ ] comments I'll tell you that well it's
00:38:09
it's one it's probably besides the takeoff coming through the atmosphere is is a very hazardous time you have to
00:38:16
really it's a little hot and humid 3,000 million degrees you don't want to be
00:38:22
Colonel Sanders wet dream Crisp that's not bad not bad I like that
00:38:30
thanks uh I get lucky once in a while One More Story where I absolutely have no
00:38:36
[Music]
00:38:42
knowledge uh in other news related to this a Mr Lex Luther gave a statement
00:38:48
saying it was he the guy in the was mine all mine yeah a Mr Lex Luther of belg
00:38:54
gradia uh claimed uh ownership you know I just ran into Rachel brahan and she is
00:39:00
doing the new Superman movie I hope it's not up against marvelous
00:39:06
boys yeah she plays loest Lane she plays marvelous she's great loest Lane well wait a minute you're you're not going to
00:39:13
go up against Superman because it actually I don't know if the movie's going to be good but the trailer was
00:39:20
fantastic because he's lying down in the ice and he's really distressed he's been
00:39:25
hurt and he does this whistle and then you see this coming at you and
00:39:31
it's super dog from the cartoon so as a baby boomer he's got a cape on and super doog is gonna drag him to safety so I
00:39:38
was already gonna buy a ticket just to see superg I we'll see that but you also get Rachel and and Rachel Rachel M I
00:39:46
heard super dog says Superman goes superg he will poop on you it's like
00:39:54
Triumph Triumph the insult the comic insult dog
00:39:59
yeah is actually super do you think he auditioned for super dog and didn't get it cuz they go there is you're too
00:40:07
dirty there is ice here for you to poop on Superman yeah that's it he is
00:40:13
actually the bad guy in the movie I will tell you one thing they might skip and Rachel's great Superman's great
00:40:21
I like these I think I saw Superman versus well I like that whoever man and
00:40:28
they fight and I don't like when they fight and the fight scene is a half hour
00:40:34
the truth is if you can't kill Superman you have absolutely no kryptonite on you none in sight they just keep punching
00:40:40
him he smashes building he slides down flies back why do we need a half hour fight for two people that can't die I
00:40:47
mean it's fun but let's keep it tight I've seen it in the Marvel one it's the Hulk versus Mothra or something neither
00:40:54
neither entity can get hurt e all entity can take
00:40:59
pment and recover in a tenth of a second and it goes on for 45 minutes they
00:41:05
exactly thank you limp away like you know see yeah not one Band-Aid
00:41:11
not one arms sling nothing it's just like and they're never like I'm still Jarred from that fight I had two days
00:41:19
ago no I'll tell you what though I I assume the plot of Superman and the sensibility is top secret but they've
00:41:25
been trying to hatch this for decad because the original Superman with Christopher Reeves is a masterpiece
00:41:30
Richard Donner directed it you had Brando since then no s mean Batman went
00:41:37
into dark reality like Christopher Nolan made it seem like fell down a cave this is why he's this crazy Batman Superman
00:41:44
is a goodie two shoes so what where do you go with that so I'm be curious if they unlock the key to make a great
00:41:52
Superman movie in 2025 there I said it I heard that this is probably not true but
00:41:57
Superman does a collab with Bonnie Blue and they and watches her screw a thousand guys is that
00:42:04
true and he actually has sex with 2,000 Med B he tries to beat her because she's
00:42:10
the bad guy he says I could beat that sex record I'll tell you what they
00:42:15
should start on cryp Krypton start on the main Planet like they did and and what's her name Betty blue should be B
00:42:23
Bonnie Blue should be and that's why they want to explode the planet because they're so outraged by her activity oh
00:42:29
or the or the bad guys are super horny and they and they enlist Bonnie Blue and the other girl to go have sex with
00:42:35
everybody to wear them out little bit well Superman can just so Superman can think for a second and figure out what to do and Krypton the people of Crypton
00:42:43
who live in a a place called and also create Kryptonite but they live on the Planet Krypton they also can have they
00:42:51
have sex for sometimes a million years at a time oh whoa whoa whoa well that's is that too much that's too because
00:42:58
these girls can do it for a day and then they're like in the ER but it's worth it they get the clicks but if there are
00:43:03
some bad guys from horn dog City or something that come down and listen I
00:43:09
don't have it all mapped out yet my head but well I'll talk to I'll just say it to the audience David and I had a casual
00:43:15
story meeting at Warner Brothers and we pitch these ideas we're saying them clumsily now but um we never got a call
00:43:23
back we never I think you know what I hate what if this plot is in Superman and we're like they
00:43:30
obviously stole it from us from that meeting well the one thing in the first
00:43:35
Superman Ned batty who was in deliver hilarious he played Hackman and Jean
00:43:41
Hackman he played Jee Hackman as Lex he played kind of the dunce comic idiot character well what do you want to do Mr
00:43:48
Luther I want you to and get out of here so that if they could bring back that
00:43:54
character you know and then Jean Hackman was trying name he was going to have an earthquake and then California would be
00:44:01
renamed all these cities named after Lutherville or something yeah Lutherville Luther Luther everything
00:44:07
Luther everything Jean Hackman was great and everything ever done and I would say GRE caner not being funny here could
00:44:14
play Perry white extremely well Greg caner as Perry white he the boss of the
00:44:19
daily boss now get out of here now get me that get you you know who is it JK
00:44:25
Dobbins or JK ring I don't know JK yeah JK simm Simmons
00:44:32
yeah that might be in um Spider-Man you got to get yours Jesus
00:44:38
we're gonna turn off the comments people are gonna just go nuts okay that's next story we really did a good one with that
00:44:43
one that was a good one that was good seriously oh this is I don't know if this is real this is underneath the
00:44:50
pyramids that we talked about the pyramids last week what let's see if this is fake or not univers today
00:44:55
someone has finally made their way down the shafts that were found under I like the first comment clutch your pearls
00:45:00
girls because now you're telling me that as of today doctor and archaeologist Remy I don't I'm not going to say his
00:45:06
last name because I don't want to be disrespectful to the Egyptian culture is the first human being make the bottom of
00:45:11
the shaft underneath the pyramid and has reported back what he found in the chamber at the bottom and it is
00:45:17
mind-blowing now like always take what you will leave what you looks a little fake I have purposely not talked about
00:45:23
this topic yet because I like to have my you jump out like talking about the uh
00:45:28
pyramids I like that if the pyramid is just the top of the
00:45:34
iceberg pyramid's pretty big anyway Dana have you seen them well let me ask you a question and Heather can look it up do
00:45:41
they really know for a fact how that
00:45:46
many thousand years ago they made the pyramids is that documentable or they
00:45:53
kind of have theories of moving you're saying the we all have heard our whole
00:45:58
lives is that they built them in some crazy way where they rolled the stones or they did something each thousands
00:46:06
slaves and yeah we can't even do it now and that we've got yeah cranes and like
00:46:12
I'm way stronger than like a normal person back then he said what is it you're saying a
00:46:19
we don't have a complete picture of exactly how the pyramids were built archaeologists and historians believe
00:46:26
combination of ramps oh combination of ramps this what historians believe even AI doesn't know but they can't prove it
00:46:34
yeah no no no knows not provable so I say it's either uh some Supernatural
00:46:40
leap by human beings in Egypt or Egypt alien intervention I I think it's aliens
00:46:48
I think it's alien intervention because that's way more fun let's get Dr Greer on here and by the way we're not that
00:46:54
crazy when we think the aliens are real I think people are finally like I think they are I mean look at the 5 million drones that are unexplainable you go
00:47:01
some are explainable but something's going on out there well yeah we should get career I saw another guy Jeremy
00:47:08
Corbell I met him at the airport he's like UFO guy yeah he's a UFO YouTuber
00:47:13
and uh he said I said what about Giza because I just heard that day I'm
00:47:19
like so we could always have him on what about Giza I'm like [ __ ] Giza dude
00:47:27
well that's like the Super Bowl for these guys they find out something new they're like holy [ __ ] it's all gonna it's all going to come out or not we we
00:47:33
have theories and then they're provable Einstein just when he was like probably seven years old you know but probably
00:47:40
his first words he hasn't spoken yet Albert Albert would you like some milk
00:47:46
and his first words he ever said was black
00:47:53
holeio that was it um and then
00:47:59
on we've proven that they're real Einstein had theories of Relativity theories about gravity and SpaceTime now
00:48:08
we can prove them with our telescopes and so are those real do they all because I like the the term Theory I
00:48:14
didn't even connect that were and then that was proven the time space and they it was proven that if you go on a
00:48:20
spaceship the speed of light out go into outer space come back to earth you're the same age everyone is
00:48:27
150 E equals m so squ we can theorize
00:48:33
with string theory that there's more than one dimension that we're in right now I mean we have there a Fifth
00:48:38
Dimension Fifth Dimension and they can sing harmony at a rate that no one has
00:48:43
ever sorry I still I still can't believe freaking SpaceX is only going as
00:48:50
high as the goddamn Empire State Building with Katy Perry it's really bothering me
00:48:58
um I it's it's kind of I I got to admit I mean when you're sitting there about to take off you know it's just a rocket
00:49:04
full of fuel you also know there's no pilot there's no way out and you're G to go straight up oh I wouldn't do it I but
00:49:12
you would I pay 250 Grand no could you pay me 250 Grand also no what is your price because everyone
00:49:19
has a price I like when people go I don't have a price and they go a million I go
00:49:25
okay million to [ __ ] my pants on national TV I don't think so I would be so scared I'd be like let me out let me
00:49:32
out and they'd be like five four no no let me out three two let me out I'm not
00:49:38
joking stop it I'm gonna sue you guys but like we talked about Carol leafer like you got she said even in 2025 if
00:49:45
they do three female Comics like ladies night out you know they true with four men they never go
00:49:52
guys are coming yeah you know but now it's like can you believe four six women could be in a spaceship
00:50:00
all together but the truth is they don't have to do that much but also I think they can handle it ladies with no
00:50:07
gravity is coming to you soon what will they do Katie Perry or they both said
00:50:13
they're going to bring their Glam Squad or they want to bring some makeup up there I think they're just saying anything to be funny or like what do you
00:50:20
what are we expected to say because we're killing time in a press junk at about going 100 feet up in the air all
00:50:26
right here what yeah go ahead I'm going to pitch this because it's about you and Theo I'm going to make a couple calls
00:50:34
okay and I'm gonna say it's GNA be good for them it's off the successful Buzz of Buzz boys of the movie the week before
00:50:40
it's released oh David and Theo Von go on Blue origin which is a great standing
00:50:48
Little Rocket you go up in your weightless then you open up your shirts and it says bus boys you know whatever
00:50:56
it it is July 5th oh I I think back in the day when
00:51:02
the space shuttle used to launch that there was a maybe it was Sandler for water boy they were trying to get an ad
00:51:08
on the side of it I think I'm not even joking I think that's interesting it would have been great yeah uh because
00:51:15
they had a lot of pull back then and that was a big deal SP space shuttle space shuttle still go
00:51:21
up or no I don't know no no they they bombed out and I was on a flight with Buzz Aldren this is not a joke and uh we
00:51:30
I talked to him a lot about being on the moon I said what was you know all that and uh he says you know it's just
00:51:36
science he he had ice in his veins that guy but he was a very cool astronaut but
00:51:41
he was upset about the Space Shell he thought it was way too complicated all we needed was what he called a big dumb
00:51:48
rocket to get stuff into space just a big dumb rocket not this you know what
00:51:54
they have but what Elon Musk has done big dumb rocket goes up then comes down
00:52:00
gets caught and can be reused that was the the revolution you know but I I'm
00:52:05
from the 60s we were in 2001 there was a Howard Johnson's hotel and restaurant on the
00:52:11
moon we're not even close when was that oh in 20 1968 and that was in that movie
00:52:18
yeah Precious movie civilians could go to the moon and there there's a moon Hotel moon base and it's all cool that I
00:52:25
would like dve I'm not going to the moon it's not these people it's dusty you have to dust every
00:52:32
day CU just Moon dust on everything you're not outside much you're just inside unless you want to go see the
00:52:37
monolith I would go for walks I got to get my steps I
00:52:42
grind even if I take one step that means I'm grinding I'm trying to to get my steps each day how many steps rise and
00:52:50
grind 6,000 nope 6,000
00:52:56
I love that joke oh that's good you say I say nope and then I say it they have a
00:53:02
new one that keeps track of your heart rate throughout the day with the steps
00:53:07
and your average heart rate if it's if it's 120 not good if it's down in the
00:53:13
70s or something very good as an average they have an app where you can fake the
00:53:18
amount of steps you have and if you're using this to get laid this is embarrassing you're like what's up gals
00:53:24
just checking me apps somebody got 9,200 steps day they're like oh and you're
00:53:31
like it's really only 6,400 well here who needs that app who
00:53:39
does that and by the way that app is not selling well as Biden would say and guess what by the way and by the way no
00:53:46
I'm being real here Bushmen out in Tanzania or wherever ancient men and
00:53:52
women they walk less than we do all they do is consum serve energy like lions and
00:53:58
stuff and then when they need it they really need it but we have plenty of steps all you have to do is get into a
00:54:04
St a SE seated squat every day for an hour take your calls you a and just
00:54:12
squat down and sit there that's the best thing you can do best thing you can do hip mobility I squat against a wall
00:54:19
right well you or if you could do it out in the world you know you just squat like aamb Bushman like that's how people
00:54:25
sit I think uh some Asian people sit like that when they rest you sit down Viet because you're in the rice patties
00:54:32
and so you need to make a chair out of your lower body but is this good for your body you say opens up your spine
00:54:37
it's good for your body would it be good like we're doing it now probably not but if you did it throughout your life young
00:54:43
people understand that Mobility is a huge part there's strength and endurance but there's also mobility
00:54:49
and you got hip joint I'm wound so [ __ ] tight yeah all right on that
00:54:55
note on that silly note anyway people don't like me pring and looking at my
00:55:00
hair I can't help but I see this fluff over here well let you guys do a podcast because anyone could do it and by the
00:55:05
way so when you're doing it in this situation you you you're seeing yourself on Staring yourself the whole God here I
00:55:11
am just for the fans here I'm looking at David ha haa here I am checking myself
00:55:16
out here I am looking up at you the thing is we don't look directly into the camera CU I'm looking at Dana but if I
00:55:24
look in the camera I look up here which looks more realistic but yeah camera I
00:55:29
can't talk to D without looking at him camera David me
00:55:35
Heather Katy Perry on the moon Greg
00:55:40
Holtzman Heather rats in my infested
00:55:45
Mansion Gail King you got me on that one she's on the
00:55:53
she's on the rocket sh she's on the glorify we're going to do is ask the chat room
00:55:59
they have room for one more woman in American society to go on Blue origin
00:56:06
let's nominate that one more woman Merill Street and we will tell them next week who won I'm nominating Merill
00:56:13
street I'm nominating the lion that killed the people because he wasn't having it I like I would I would
00:56:19
nominate Lady Gaga cuz on liftoff she'd be like whatever uh here we
00:56:28
go yeah to to to too high James Taylor
00:56:34
ain't it good to know you're on a rocket ship give him a guitar no they'd be mad
00:56:39
because when they're taking off he goes I've seen fire and I was like hey whoa
00:56:45
whoa don't sing that now that song's about a plane crash oh please do you not
00:56:51
know that no I thought it was uh Dana wake up it was an addiction Fire and Rain you know no just yesterday morning
00:56:59
they it was his girlfriend got a plan crry just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone geez Louis that's
00:57:04
such a brilliant song now I can't listen sad oh you'll ball your head off um but
00:57:09
I do like nominating someone I want some people to get creative the plans we had
00:57:15
put an end to that uh yeah whatever oh yeah if you listen to it now and
00:57:20
everyone will tell me I'm lying in the comments I probably am all right uh okay Dana I got to run so just wait here for
00:57:27
about 20 minutes yeah I'll wrap up the show with Heather and Greg and you uh have a nice
00:57:33
cheeseburger all right oh yeah I'm going on tour where am I going oh Boston and New Jersey is my next weekend okay I'll
00:57:40
tell you more about it later thank you Dana for the people who waited bye this has been a presentation of
00:57:48
Odyssey Superfly is executed produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and
00:57:54
Greg Holzman hope you liked it
00:58:00
[Music]
