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and now I get to meet you know I meet
00:00:01
people like you Dom we've never met so
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what I really cherish is meaning
00:00:07
like-minded Souls who are happy to talk
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about these very crunchy things so other
00:00:13
people out there in the world who don't
00:00:14
have the words or the courage yet can
00:00:17
breathe a sigh of relief and go okay
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maybe I can get to that stage I'm just
00:00:22
right down here at the moment struggling
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yeah so I appreciate you brother that's
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what I'm trying to say I I appreciate
00:00:28
you too and as I was saying before from
00:00:29
doing this podast C you realize that
00:00:30
everyone's carrying a bag of [ __ ] it's
00:00:32
just how big that bag of [ __ ] is and um
00:00:35
and I'd like to think people can go can
00:00:37
can hear your story and go okay well he
00:00:39
got through that I can get through this
00:00:43
relationship breakup job loss you know
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this guilt that I've got for whatever it
00:00:47
happens to be absolutely and and if I
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could just give I just try and drop real
00:00:52
simple gems for people I was like you
00:00:54
didn't choose the hurt but you can
00:00:55
choose to heal cuz we get stuck in here
00:00:59
yeah well that's it can't change
00:01:01
anything well I was like well you're not
00:01:02
a tree bro you can move so um I was like
00:01:05
oh I can move too I can move to help but
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it's just trying to it's easier said
00:01:09
than done when you're when you're in
00:01:10
that fight or flight all the time and
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you're it's like you're literally
00:01:14
walking through a storm that no one can
00:01:15
see yeah when do you start to come right
00:01:18
how long is it so July 2009
00:01:20
yesterday oh I'm sorry I understand
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you're still a work in progress if
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you're if you're um suffer from mental
00:01:27
illness it's it's never going to fully
00:01:28
go away and it's a constant on um but
00:01:31
when did you start to feel like your
00:01:32
your old self again or your new self
00:01:33
again well it's interesting because you
00:01:36
as you're healing you have to change
00:01:38
your ways because can't physically do
00:01:40
this can't physically do that mentally
00:01:43
it's hard because your body's not
00:01:44
working you have to evolve and now as I
00:01:47
got better physically I started to go
00:01:50
back to my old dumb ways like let's have
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some beers let's get on it and I
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mentally started to fall down again I
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went what's wrong I'm back I'm like I'm
00:01:58
feeling fit again what's wrong with me
00:01:59
it's like oh you idiot you can't go back
00:02:02
to the old ways now in my Evolution and
00:02:05
anyone's healing Evolution you have to
00:02:09
keep moving forward if you try to go
00:02:11
backwards you're going to sink back down
00:02:13
to where you were yeah and that's that
00:02:15
happened to me a few times that's okay I
00:02:17
mean I was I was with with good people
00:02:19
but when I realized that I was like oh
00:02:21
[ __ ] this is not good for my mental
00:02:22
health I share this with everybody I've
00:02:25
got a tight three three people that I
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trust with my life I can text or call
00:02:29
anytime night or day and I encourage
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other people to get a tight three
00:02:34
because it's too much for one person to
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hold and the good thing about my tight
00:02:38
threats grow to five people that I trust
00:02:40
in my life um is that if you're swirling
00:02:45
that person there to help you and if
00:02:46
you're the person helping the one
00:02:48
swirling and it's too much for you you
00:02:50
call in the other people so you're
00:02:52
you're putting a circle of UT heart and
00:02:54
hope around that one person and the
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three of you or five of you can navigate
00:02:58
it better than one so it's basically to
00:03:01
even the load I think that's a good idea
00:03:02
as a formal sort of I mean you hear
00:03:04
about people that go to Alcoholics
00:03:05
Anonymous and they have a sponsor you
00:03:07
know someone they can call anytime day
00:03:08
or night but we don't do that for mental
00:03:10
health do we and um and but everyone
00:03:12
says everyone says like if you're ever
00:03:14
feeling down you give me a call day or
00:03:16
night but it's feels like it's just lip
00:03:18
service yeah and that's why I've taken
00:03:21
this I took it that step to go I'm going
00:03:23
to nominate these people and formalize
00:03:25
it and formalize it and you know it's
00:03:26
okay if they go oh actually it's it's a
00:03:28
bit too much for me bro go okay thanks
00:03:30
now I know uh this person over here this
00:03:32
another person so you just build and
00:03:34
I've heard people say I don't have a
00:03:36
tight I don't have a tight one in my
00:03:37
circle and I've actually said to them
00:03:39
sounds like your circle is crap um if
00:03:41
you can't ask one person in your circle
00:03:44
to be you know a guardian a kitak you
00:03:48
better change a circle bro cuz that
00:03:50
means you it's not a safe place to be I
00:03:53
like that so when did the when did the
00:03:57
decision come to tour it and do shop bro
00:03:59
as I said at the beginning I I watched
00:04:01
this on YouTube last night and anyone
00:04:02
can watch it um it's it's a hard watch
00:04:05
and after watching it last night I
00:04:08
thought you know it must be exhausting
00:04:11
for you to even come over here today and
00:04:12
like chat about this for an hour no no
00:04:15
no this is my every day because it's not
00:04:18
heavy for me it's not it's not heavy for
00:04:20
me it was heavy for me it's light for me
00:04:24
do I still have shed some tears about it
00:04:26
sometimes yeah but it's nowhere near as
00:04:29
heavy as it's ever been for me I'm at
00:04:31
probably the best shape mentally
00:04:32
physically spiritually that I've ever
00:04:34
been at but I know that I got to keep
00:04:36
working on it I can't just stop like
00:04:38
going on cruise mode because I'll start
00:04:40
to slip backwards I've actually the
00:04:43
thing about prevention is you've got to
00:04:44
be actually putting into action you got
00:04:47
to be actioning it's great to have all
00:04:49
these tools but if you're not practicing
00:04:51
any of these tools daily then it's just
00:04:53
great thoughts and ideas oh yeah and
00:04:55
then when when the [ __ ] hits the fan and
00:04:57
you go and grab the tool you don't
00:04:59
actually use it before you're like oh
00:05:01
well I dropped it oh oh grab the other
00:05:04
one oh dropped it too oh God and all of
00:05:07
a sudden you've got had a great you
00:05:09
think you've got these great tools which
00:05:10
you've never practiced using and I had
00:05:12
to figure out that the hard way bro that
00:05:14
happened to me so many times yeah yeah
00:05:16
that's great that's a great one that's a
00:05:17
great one and then when the [ __ ] the fan
00:05:19
they'd all fall out on the floor and I
00:05:20
got I was lost again yeah but that's the
00:05:22
thing I mean the easiest time to do the
00:05:24
work is when you don't need it eh but
00:05:25
it's like I mean who does that you know
00:05:29
what I it's like I don't need it I'm all
00:05:31
good totally until you're not and that's
00:05:33
what I I used to do that all the time
00:05:35
but now I've had to use these tools and
00:05:37
I encourage other people to use whatever
00:05:39
tools you need cuz we're all same same
00:05:41
but different and you might need a
00:05:43
little different variation of this so
00:05:45
figure out what you need and when you're
00:05:47
swirling in that storm of suici a
00:05:50
suicide audiation and you're brave
00:05:51
enough to go bro I'm spinning out I need
00:05:53
help right now the best advice I've ever
00:05:56
got and it's from my first cousin Clint
00:05:57
Edmunds he said to me on the phone what
00:05:59
do you need cousin cuz you could hear
00:06:02
that I was distressed and I'd never
00:06:03
everybody have ever heard anyone ask me
00:06:06
what I need and I realized why cuz I
00:06:08
never told anybody I've been suicidal so
00:06:10
to have somebody actually listen without
00:06:12
judgment not go oh man we we better
00:06:15
medicate you or jeez we better call the
00:06:17
cops or call the ambulance it's like
00:06:18
there's no Panic the person who I trust
00:06:20
in my life number one on my dining list
00:06:22
is my cousin just asking me what I need
00:06:24
and what I really like about that is it
00:06:26
puts the ball back in that person's
00:06:28
Court to figure out what do I need
00:06:30
because no one's ever asked me do I need
00:06:32
to cry do I need to go to the gym do I
00:06:34
need to hit the punching bag go to the
00:06:36
ocean I don't know but at least now
00:06:38
someone's put it in your court to ask
00:06:41
what you need so it's actually having to
00:06:43
build the capacity getting the person to
00:06:45
build it for themselves but giving them
00:06:47
a platform to to work off