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Kane Brisco talks about his rock bottom as a dairy farmer || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey

October 22, 202201:02:08
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welcome to episode 27 of Runners only
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with dom Harvey on this episode Kane
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Briscoe I wouldn't have picked myself
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sitting here as a farmer talking about
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gratitude or journaling or anything like
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that is it's quite an odd thing Kane is
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a taranaki Dairy Farmer who has gained a
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huge following on social media with his
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farm fit movement that he started in
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2019 in April 2022 he ran a hundred
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kilometers in his gum boots and in the
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process raised over twenty thousand
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dollars for I am hope and now as well as
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being a farmer he's a published author
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with a book called tools for the top
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Paddock you can follow Kane on Instagram
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at farmfit underscore NZ alright let's
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go
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[Music]
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Runners only with dom Harvey and farmfit
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came Briscoe g'day lad how's it going
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mate all right it's going going all
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right going all right Brisco Brisco you
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never buy better how often do you hear
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that uh constantly yeah that was my
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teenage years summed up basically was
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that was it actually how's your mum on
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the air yeah
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it's so not original hey um it's great
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to have you in my house and what is
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going to be the podcast studio
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um I was thinking about it just um as as
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I got you from the front door and
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brought you in here our lives probably
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couldn't be more different in so many
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ways I'm in a in an apartment like a
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couple of hundred meters down the road
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from Sky City you're in a rural taranaki
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yeah yeah it's uh it is uh yeah Two
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Worlds colliding at the moment Don yeah
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it's a pretty um it's always a strange
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strange feeling when I come to Auckland
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actually just seeing so many people in
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one spot
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um and like like We messaged earlier
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it's actually a novelty for my kids to
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see buildings
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it everyone else in auckland's probably
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sick of it but it was pretty pretty
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exciting for them actually yeah I'd
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imagine um yeah other things like it's
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probably quite terrifying for your kids
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being on the motorway in an Uber with
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cars either side of you it's terrifying
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for me
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it does take a while to get used to
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um there's another thing where we are
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like Polar Opposites you and I um you I
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I've started reading your book which
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I've actually got a copy of and you
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haven't even seen yet yes crazy we'll
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get to that soon but in that you talk
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about how growing up as like a preschool
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aged kid uh you love going to your Nano
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and Grandad's farm and when it was time
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to go back home again
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um like you you'd hide from your parents
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because you wanted to stay on the farm
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yeah I had it I had a similar thing I
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had my um Auntie Robin and Uncle John
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they had a dairy farm and I was sent
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there on the school holidays [ __ ]
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hate it every minute
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that's awful despised [ __ ] I've got the
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smell of silage and you're out working
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and I'd never get a good spot on the
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back of the tractor so I was getting
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like cow [ __ ] fling up at me Non-Stop
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terrible and yeah and Auntie Robin she
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um she called me a city slicker I was
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from Palmerston North so it's not really
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you know they were in live in it so
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Palmer's North's not really a city but
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yeah I hated it what was the appeal for
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you uh pretty good question I think it's
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probably I had uh two older brothers
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that were quite a bit older than me so
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they you know when I started from what I
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can remember you know they were um in
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the early teens and and really involved
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in the actual farm work and and I
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idolized them massively so uh you
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probably just wanted to be like them and
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and um my uncle who ran the farm was was
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uh it was a it was a bloody hoot really
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and he made everything fun
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um it never really seemed like hard work
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even though it was
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um he always managed to have a laugh or
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or make a game out or something or teach
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her something so it was it was really
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interesting and yeah just it was
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whatever I can remember whether I was
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three or four years old it's just all I
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ever wanted to do was Drive tractors and
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ride bikes and work with animals and
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endure those
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um those hard jobs on the farm were the
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best like making hay in the summer uh it
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was horrendously difficult but you know
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it was something really
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um
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I don't know just rewarding yeah
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rewarding and Earthly about it you know
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just working with your hands I think and
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and particularly with the land and
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animals it's just something really
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natural about it it's um whether it's in
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the blood or something I don't know but
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yeah it wasn't in your blood obviously
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absolutely not I'm like and I I am a
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city slicker now so Andy Robin was it
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all right and I'm one of these one of
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these people it's like I love meat well
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I don't I want to see it in the
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packaging I I don't want to know where
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is it on the plate absolutely yeah
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that's it that's it so so we've
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discussed um
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um all the things we don't have in
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common um but but we do have a lot of in
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common as well like um we've both got
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the same love of um I suppose running
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and you know physical activity and also
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um yeah we understand how that
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intertwines with mental health yeah in a
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big way yeah definitely and um you know
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it's been obviously a big part of your
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life now and forever since I can
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remember even though I used to hate
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running Sports being a massive you know
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I grew up I started playing rugby at the
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age of 5 live and didn't played every
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season right through until the body
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started giving up in my late 20s and you
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know it's just been a part of my family
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and in a part of my life and
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um
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I guess later on once I couldn't play
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footy running became sort of took over
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as the sport of choice
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um and it's yeah it's been really uh
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it's an interesting Journey when you
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start running you know seriously it's
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not easy for anyone everyone keeps
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saying that I make it look fun and or
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they they they don't find any fun in it
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and I was like it's not really fun that
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often it's just it's just painful and
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frustrating at times but yeah it's a
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cool it's a it's a good way to get to
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know yourself anyway absolutely one
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thing um yeah one thing I don't
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understand about about you and I suppose
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anyone that does like a physical job and
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running is I sort of started running
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um out of necessity because I was doing
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breakfast radio hours and they're
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challenging hours and they take it out
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of here so I figured if I want longevity
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in this radio industry something that's
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going to help help me do this is being
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physically fit yeah so I started running
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but I don't know how after like a long
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day on the farm
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like surely the last thing you want to
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do is any more a physical actor it's a
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physical job I guess is what I'm saying
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yeah yeah and honestly sometimes it is
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the last thing you want to do
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um
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the way I sort of look at it like Dairy
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farming's changed a lot in the last
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probably 15 20 years in what way uh it's
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just less physical it's more mental
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um like if I think back to when I used
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to help my uncle on his farm you know 25
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years ago uh you know we're picking up
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hay bales and and digging post holes you
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know every day was was it was really
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physically demanding every single day
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and he was a really fit fit strong guy
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but when I think about my day now
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uh you know a lot of days a lot of hours
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in the tractor
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um you know we have post post drivers
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mechanical post drivers not too many dig
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posts anymore oh all those gadgets that
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you've got to Field Days exactly yeah
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yeah yeah metal disease they call it
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what disease metal disease what's that
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just people buying metal all right
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tractors and you know gadgets to put on
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the tractor basically but sorry by the
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way you before you get new further I
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know absolutely nothing about farming so
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there's going to be a lot of dumb
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explanations absolutely yeah so yeah
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yeah it's like um people with tech I
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guess you know buying fancy computers
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and gaming and that sort of thing
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Farmers have the same deal uh with
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Machinery sometimes
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um but yeah so it's much more of a
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mental
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um tax now than a physical
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um and I'll sort of look of it like we
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have this winter period well most dairy
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farms have their winter period where we
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go on holiday to Fiji uh we you know
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it's our quietest time of the year we
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spend a bit more time on the couch
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um do less hours and then we're go
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straight straight into the the hardest
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time of the year which was carving and
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you go from you know you might do 50
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hours a week of just cruising around the
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farm you know not working too hard and
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you can go straight into doing 80 90 100
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hours even in the space of a couple of
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weeks so it just changes really quickly
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and that is the time of the year that's
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really physically demanding you know
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picking up calves
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you know manhandling cows if they're
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sick and that sort of thing or pulling
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carbs out when they need help you know
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it is really physically demanding but
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you know just the time that you spend
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outside every day working
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and it's like you know I need to get fit
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for that you know and it's it's
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something that I really found when I
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stopped playing rugby
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um how how important that Fitness was
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and the difference between coming off
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the back of a rugby season Being Fit and
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strong you know
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um
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and then straight into carving I could
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handle it quite easily when I retired
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from rugby and I had my first winter I
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guess
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since I could even remember of um not
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being fit it was really noticeable
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straight away how important it was to be
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fit and strong ready to go so I sort of
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see the fitness I do throughout the year
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is like a bit of a pre-season to be
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honest
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um getting getting ready for carving you
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know so it's the physical demands I
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think it's a funny thing because with
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physical activity the more you do
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actually the more energy you get you
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think you're expelling all this energy
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so you'd be more tired but it doesn't
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actually work that way no it doesn't
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it's like you know if you sit on the
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couch all day you're going to be tired
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at the end of the day too yeah yeah it's
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one of those things you've actually got
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to create your own energy and getting up
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and doing something that you enjoy
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something that's challenging as well
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um I always find you know people when
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the when the challenge for something
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they're passionate about or something
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that gives them purpose that creates a
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whole bunch of energy in here so it's
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important to recognize that and
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understand what what brings you energy
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yeah so right and it seems like you um I
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wanted to ask you something it seems to
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me like you like taking part in events
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I've seen I've seen you do some
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Instagram videos and reels and things
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and some TV appearances and it looks
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like there's a wall of like race numbers
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and medals in the corner of the well
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first of all what room of the house is
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that uh so that was the lounge oh that
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is not great Lounge I thought maybe it's
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a man cave or something how did you get
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that past your wife now that was it was
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actually it was actually a lot of those
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are hers oh are they
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um and and I must clarify a lot of them
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are participation medals not not first
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or seconds or anything of course yeah
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but um that was all I guess around for
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our own mental health I guess
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recognizing and being proud of what
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we've done in the past
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um and and you know recognizing what
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you're capable of
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um so you know a lot of people put their
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sort of like we had all that stuff in
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the draw basically sitting in storage
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and in the cupboard and it was sort of
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like well yeah we should actually you
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know sometimes you just need a reminder
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of what you're capable of yeah and so to
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put them out there on display it wasn't
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it it wasn't a bragging or anything like
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that
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but we don't actually have like heaps of
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friends and stuff around we're not sort
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of a little bit humidity I guess you
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could say but
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um you know it was it was all about us
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and even for our kids
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um you know we've put them in a few 5K
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fun runs and that sort of thing and they
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get to put their race number off on
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alone and they'll quite often go over
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and look at it or get their metal down
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and put it around their neck and it's
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just something to be proud of I think
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and and not be ashamed of or you know
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we've got that tall tall poppy syndrome
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in New Zealand in a big way yeah we
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don't like to brag and it's it's it's
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just seeing it as as just being proud of
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what you've achieved and and recognizing
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what you've been through in the past and
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that's what it was for us was was just
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understanding you know
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um you know remembering those tough
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times you know I remember the first time
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we did uh waitomo Trail race which was
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36 case uh you know the amount of times
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we wanted to quit but push through and
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finish you know it's important to
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remember that that you can do it that's
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a really cool thing yeah that really is
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I think it's a real healthy way of
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looking at it as well there's probably a
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lot of people listening to this right
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now that take part in events and stuff
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and go okay yeah yeah I've got mine in a
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drawer or in a box somewhere yeah or
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whatever it may be that's cool and what
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you were saying about the waitomo race
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about how you want to quit and but you
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just keep going put one foot in front of
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each other I feel like there's like
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metaphors between like hard events like
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that and the challenges of day-to-day
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life totally totally and it wasn't
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actually running's probably the sort of
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that endurance type running was
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um when I really recognized the
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parallels between between your sport and
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your real life because of you know some
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days it is it's it's just being able to
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put that one foot in front of the other
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and and to push through and I guess you
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know understand that there is a Finish
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Line and that that tough time doesn't
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last forever I think that's really
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important because when you're in the
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moment it feels like you know it's never
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going to improve yeah you know when
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you're in a [ __ ] storm it just feels
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like that [ __ ] storm is going to last
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forever but there's always a Finish Line
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or um I like to think of it in boxing
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terms as well as you know the round
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always ends you know there's there's
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always going to be a a moment where that
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storm clears and yeah
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um just don't throw in the [ __ ] towel
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don't throw in the tail man it's it's
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being able to push through that
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adversity a bit and just hang on you
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know with even if you're even if you
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can't walk it's it's just stay in the
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race you know you can you can sit down
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and have a breather and reassess and and
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um well you I'm sure you've done it in
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the past you you have a gel or something
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or a bit of food or a bit of Tailwind or
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something and you know in five minutes
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you feel just that little bit better and
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it gives you that spark to keep going so
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it's finding those things in life and
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the transfer of skills between sport
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um to real life is has been really
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important for me in in keeping on going
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oh for who left their phone on Bloody
00:13:58
Bloody Towny bloody Towny hey
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oh Stephen from today
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used to call us on the radio show quite
00:14:06
a bit I recognize that name all right
00:14:07
Hey Stephen I'm just in the middle of
00:14:09
doing a podcast I'll call you back later
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mate
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okay because I just letting you know
00:14:12
that um times have been changed
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what
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changed now so
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oh when you're coming to Auckland for
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the basketball
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okay all right well we'll talk about it
00:14:25
later
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okay okay bye bye
00:14:28
it's gold
00:14:29
[Laughter]
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all right okay Kane Briscoe are you
00:14:37
ready to see the finished version of
00:14:38
your book for the first time in your
00:14:40
life yeah bring it on mate I'm a bit
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nervy
00:14:43
here you go tools from the top haddock
00:14:45
here it is
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wow that's um
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I just wouldn't have ever dreamed of
00:14:53
writing a book and here it is
00:14:56
it's unbelievable actually I don't know
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it's quite overwhelming hey it's just
00:15:00
um I've always seen myself as a very
00:15:02
very average person and to um he had to
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hold my own bloody book on my hand or
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something quite
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all right I'm lost for words a little
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bit it's got to go in the corner of the
00:15:14
lounge by the race numbers I think we
00:15:17
might have to put one coffee there I
00:15:19
wouldn't want to see a sticker in there
00:15:20
okay all right okay so how does a how
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does a kid from taranaki that ends up
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just being a farmer end up in a position
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where you have a book publisher reaching
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out to you saying hey you should write a
00:15:30
book how does this happen
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[Applause]
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so how did Farm come about by the way
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for anyone that is um listening to this
00:15:42
podcast that that has no clue what farm
00:15:44
fit is how how would you describe it
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um
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I've still actually struggle to describe
00:15:49
it so I basically I'll I'll tell you I
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guess the beginnings of it was
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um I'd been through my own challenges
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and we'll probably we'll probably come
00:15:57
back to this but been through my own
00:15:59
challenges mentally on uh with farming
00:16:01
and got myself into a pretty pretty bad
00:16:04
place I guess and and really struggled
00:16:05
for a couple of years
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um but what what helped dragged me out
00:16:09
of that was was sport basically got
00:16:12
myself right sort of got the farm going
00:16:15
you know functioning right and then sort
00:16:17
of looked around me and I thought
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um well there were there were a lot of
00:16:21
reasons but I looked around me and I
00:16:22
thought well you know I'm a pretty I
00:16:24
thought I was a pretty mentally tough
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strong
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um you know
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typical kiwi farmer really
00:16:31
and I thought sure if I can go through
00:16:34
that and find myself in that sort of
00:16:36
place and and find a way to get out of
00:16:38
it surely I can I can help pass that on
00:16:41
to other people
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and that was really the Genesis of of um
00:16:45
Farm Fitness it just started uh as me
00:16:48
inviting the neighbors around basically
00:16:50
to come and do like a boot camp type
00:16:52
session like flipping tractor tires and
00:16:54
you know it started out on just my
00:16:56
driveway mate I um I had a few skipping
00:16:58
ropes and some boxing gear
00:17:00
um and I brought a few few sandbags and
00:17:02
and a couple of little things really
00:17:04
nothing much in in yeah just just
00:17:07
started doing you know because I had a
00:17:09
bit of experience with boxing and
00:17:10
running obviously so I knew a bit about
00:17:12
Fitness I'm in rugby but yeah just I
00:17:15
honestly I thought two young fellas
00:17:17
might turn up they wanted to get a bit
00:17:18
fitter for rugby and and I had I think
00:17:20
six for the first session and after a
00:17:22
couple of weeks I'd sort of 10 or 12
00:17:24
people of you know just such a diverse
00:17:26
range we had um you know 18 year old
00:17:28
guys up to people and you know farmers
00:17:30
in their 50s and women and kids and
00:17:33
teenagers so it all got quite serious
00:17:35
quite quickly more than what I ever
00:17:37
thought and um probably after about some
00:17:39
and off the top of my head I think we
00:17:41
were around about 400 000 mortgage
00:17:44
something like that or just over to buy
00:17:46
everything
00:17:48
um which doesn't seem that big when you
00:17:50
look at house prices these days
00:17:53
I'd pretty recently returned from an OE
00:17:56
so I'd only been I'd only actually been
00:17:57
farming Dairy farming for three years
00:18:00
when I got that job so I don't have
00:18:02
heaps of money we did we were actually
00:18:03
uh Outside The Lending criteria for the
00:18:06
bank so there's quite a the but I guess
00:18:09
the the outlook for dairy farming was
00:18:10
really good then so they're pretty easy
00:18:13
to give money so there was quite a lot
00:18:15
of financial pressure on me
00:18:17
um I've not long met my now wife Nicole
00:18:22
um and yeah so got into this job owning
00:18:25
cows a lot of responsibility but but a
00:18:27
lot of excitement
00:18:28
um and we my first season was the record
00:18:30
milk price of 8.40
00:18:33
which was
00:18:34
2013. and so but you know
00:18:37
it was pretty exciting because I was
00:18:39
like money was just flowing in things
00:18:42
were good
00:18:43
um the hard part I was Finding was the
00:18:46
farm I'd moved on to was a little bit
00:18:49
once I run down but there are a lot of
00:18:51
problems there okay
00:18:52
um so that created quite a bit of stress
00:18:54
and I'm an absolute perfectionist so the
00:18:57
Farms I'd worked on previously were were
00:18:59
really really nice Farms well everything
00:19:02
was well done and I like to have you
00:19:04
know all my all my eyes dotted and
00:19:06
teased cross and I I was just finding in
00:19:09
that first year that there were a lot of
00:19:10
problems to fix that I couldn't quite
00:19:12
figure out
00:19:14
um but everything was all good because
00:19:15
we were making a lot of money at 8.40 a
00:19:17
kilo milk solid so um things were really
00:19:20
positive but at the end of that season
00:19:22
um I just had we just had our first
00:19:24
child which added a I guess another
00:19:26
element becoming a dad
00:19:29
um and then the payout decided to uh
00:19:32
slip away under our feet basically and
00:19:34
over the course of 18 months it dropped
00:19:36
from
00:19:38
8.40 down to 3.90 I think so our income
00:19:41
I kept more than half is this a cyclical
00:19:45
thing in in farming it is about yeah but
00:19:47
that was really extreme right um right
00:19:49
that was a super extreme example and
00:19:52
note like no one had even I think the
00:19:55
the highest milk price before that 8.40
00:19:57
was like seven dollars or seven dollars
00:19:59
it was a record high and then they
00:20:02
hadn't seen uh price of 3.90 for
00:20:04
probably 10 years
00:20:06
um and you know the cost of the price of
00:20:07
everything goes up over time so it was a
00:20:09
it was a it was a hugely
00:20:12
um hugely stressful time you know I did
00:20:15
so many bloody budgets and all of them
00:20:17
just came out [ __ ] out so I ended up
00:20:19
stop you know I was everything was in
00:20:20
the red there's nothing nothing really
00:20:22
we could do
00:20:24
um and it was at that time I decided to
00:20:26
quit playing rugby
00:20:28
um I wanted to spend more time with my
00:20:30
family and and focus more on the farm
00:20:32
and and just sort of bring everything in
00:20:34
and and do the bare necessities and it
00:20:37
was great like um
00:20:39
it was great spent not having to play
00:20:41
rugby and
00:20:42
um you know not waking up on Sunday with
00:20:44
a sore body and a hangover
00:20:47
um but you know I I got myself unfit I
00:20:49
didn't have a you know I wasn't
00:20:51
connecting with my mates at footy
00:20:53
anymore so I was sort of isolated myself
00:20:55
yeah you lose that Network I guess you
00:20:57
did yeah yeah I played it you know I
00:20:59
played for that club for a long time and
00:21:01
and you know I was a senior player in
00:21:02
that club at the time and that was
00:21:05
actually quite hard to I probably didn't
00:21:06
realize how much I needed that you know
00:21:09
just needed that escape off the farm and
00:21:12
um it was less about the rugby really
00:21:13
and just more about the community
00:21:15
absolutely I think yeah probably a big
00:21:17
reason I played rugby was for the after
00:21:19
match really and you know that's that
00:21:21
might sound bad but you know oh no no I
00:21:23
feel like I feel like that's probably
00:21:24
what keeps a lot of um like old dogs
00:21:26
that aren't really playing at a super
00:21:27
competitive yeah in the game yeah like
00:21:29
I'm a really competitive person I love
00:21:31
the footy but you know um you know
00:21:34
having a good time with the boys
00:21:35
afterwards and and you know getting a
00:21:37
bit of male bonding you know it was it's
00:21:39
a pretty important thing for guys I
00:21:41
think
00:21:42
um so I probably didn't realize how much
00:21:44
that affected me and and just yeah when
00:21:47
I think back that that lack of Fitness I
00:21:49
remember
00:21:50
um about a week into carving
00:21:52
um so this was the first time I've been
00:21:54
unfit starting carving and I remember a
00:21:57
weekend I was like oh [ __ ] up here
00:21:59
um just I could just like at the end of
00:22:02
the day I was just buggered and I'd
00:22:04
never felt that before you know
00:22:06
especially right at the start and I sort
00:22:09
of sorted myself then I wouldn't would
00:22:11
never be unfit for carving again and
00:22:13
from that it just sort of snowboard man
00:22:16
I just you know fatigued set in real
00:22:18
early started making poor decisions on
00:22:20
the farm the stress of of being a new
00:22:23
dad and in the financials and like I was
00:22:26
just bleeding money out of every orifice
00:22:27
you know I've worked out that season I
00:22:30
think uh roughly every hour I was doing
00:22:33
I was paying myself minus six bucks an
00:22:35
hour you know it was just wow it was
00:22:37
just ridiculous so
00:22:39
um and I just I just lost the passion
00:22:40
for farming too um I remember it I'm not
00:22:43
surprised yeah it's I distinctly
00:22:45
remember
00:22:46
um saying to myself you know like I
00:22:48
asked
00:22:50
I started blaming other people
00:22:51
um like I blamed the bank for giving me
00:22:53
the loan I blame my boss for giving me
00:22:55
the job and I sort of thought to myself
00:22:58
if someone could just walk in and just
00:23:00
take my cows off me take the mortgage
00:23:02
and I'd just walk away with a suitcase
00:23:05
full of clothes I'd be happier you know
00:23:07
and that was from the kid that grew up
00:23:10
just you know not wanting to leave the
00:23:12
farm to get to that point I was like
00:23:13
damn you know this is yeah this is not
00:23:16
good yeah I suppose that
00:23:18
um I'm not lashing out mentality but
00:23:19
that blame mentality I suppose that's
00:23:21
human instinct like it's it is man you
00:23:24
see it everywhere yeah and it wasn't
00:23:25
actually until
00:23:27
um you know I probably got myself into a
00:23:28
real [ __ ] place where it was just it was
00:23:31
so hard to get up in the morning and go
00:23:32
and milk the cows and it was only the
00:23:34
fact really that
00:23:36
um probably two things I had uh had my
00:23:38
kids
00:23:39
um that you know needed food on the
00:23:41
table and the responsibility I felt
00:23:44
towards my cows to look after them they
00:23:46
were probably the only two things that
00:23:48
kept me going at that point
00:23:50
um and it wasn't actually I came I
00:23:52
remember came you know I'd probably be
00:23:54
in this place for you know maybe a year
00:23:56
of of just hating farming and hating my
00:24:00
life and blaming other people and when
00:24:01
you were when you were like that what
00:24:03
were you like as um as a husband and a
00:24:04
dad I'm pretty sure yes yeah were you
00:24:06
yeah for a while they were funny you
00:24:09
generally save your worst behavior for
00:24:10
those people there yeah I think I wasn't
00:24:13
a bad dad but I think I definitely took
00:24:15
it out on my wife you know you're
00:24:16
turning like a lot of it came out as
00:24:18
anger
00:24:19
um so you know pretty short I've got
00:24:22
I've generally got a really long fuse
00:24:24
um but but probably turned quite short
00:24:26
and it's frustration hey because I
00:24:28
blamed her as well like just for stupid
00:24:31
[ __ ] you know I was just blaming
00:24:32
everyone else except for myself and it
00:24:33
wasn't well I came home one day after
00:24:36
about a year year of this and I had a
00:24:38
[ __ ] in a moment at the wife about
00:24:40
something about farming you know and she
00:24:43
turned around at the time I was
00:24:46
absolutely ropable with her but she just
00:24:47
said well you chose this and I yeah it
00:24:52
hurt and her her cut deep I tell you
00:24:56
um and you know there are a few words
00:24:57
were exchanged probably after that from
00:24:59
what I remember it didn't go down well
00:25:01
but um you know I I went away and that
00:25:05
probably sat with me for a for a few
00:25:07
weeks and I probably had to actually man
00:25:10
up and and accept
00:25:12
that she was Bloody right about that and
00:25:14
that that was a really big turning point
00:25:16
I think was to that acceptance that you
00:25:19
know I applied for the bank loan I
00:25:21
applied for the job you know I wanted to
00:25:23
be here and and it I was exactly where I
00:25:26
put myself that's harder because I mean
00:25:27
things like the pay the milk payout
00:25:29
there's things like that that are
00:25:30
variables that are completely out of
00:25:32
your control and there's nothing you can
00:25:33
do about that but yeah this is um um a
00:25:35
Navy Seals thing that I got from the
00:25:37
David Goggins book yeah it's like just
00:25:39
owning as much [ __ ] as what you can yeah
00:25:41
and it's the best place to be in like
00:25:43
you can you can blame anyone you want
00:25:45
but it's not going to change the
00:25:46
situation is it exactly and and it was
00:25:48
really that moment of acceptance that I
00:25:50
I became quite self-aware of of where I
00:25:53
actually was in my life and
00:25:56
um you know the the sort of mental state
00:25:57
I was in and and yeah said about owning
00:26:00
it I guess and and it then became like
00:26:02
right what am I going to do about it
00:26:05
um and I actually I turned back to you
00:26:08
know something that had helped me when I
00:26:10
was uh you know coming out of my teenage
00:26:11
years and that was boxing you know
00:26:13
actually uh
00:26:15
I just said to the Nicole I just I've
00:26:18
got a I've got to get this out of me you
00:26:20
know I was still really angry about the
00:26:22
situation but I was like I need to get
00:26:24
off Farm I need to I know I had a niche
00:26:27
I guess that needed to be scratched so I
00:26:28
ended up
00:26:29
um yeah starting starting to train for a
00:26:32
boxing fight again and
00:26:33
um as difficult as it was I think I had
00:26:35
to drive an hour up to New Plymouth to a
00:26:37
boxing gym so I was doing that once a
00:26:39
week in training most nights of the week
00:26:42
but you know instantly it started
00:26:44
getting me fit again and and you know I
00:26:47
lost
00:26:47
I think I'd put on 10 kilos in that
00:26:49
winter so I got back to I think 81 kilos
00:26:54
um you know got lean in Maine and
00:26:55
started feeling good about myself and
00:26:58
um the way I sort of explain it is like
00:27:01
I'd you know finish work at like 5 30 in
00:27:04
the afternoon after starting at 4am and
00:27:07
I'd be excited to get into the into my
00:27:09
Ute and drive for an hour to New
00:27:10
Plymouth and go and punch people in the
00:27:11
face and but what I found was that that
00:27:15
two hour training I didn't think about
00:27:16
the farm once and that was literally the
00:27:19
only time I could shut off was was when
00:27:21
I was training because is that a nature
00:27:23
of the sport of boxing that you have to
00:27:24
be in the moment yeah you get punched in
00:27:26
the face
00:27:28
yeah it was it was it was probably you
00:27:31
know I think probably when you're like
00:27:32
playing rugby in that you can there's a
00:27:34
team around you can still sort of be
00:27:36
away with the fairies of it and hide in
00:27:38
the team yeah so to speak but um you
00:27:40
know boxing when you're when you're
00:27:42
sparring or or just the training so
00:27:45
intense that you have to be in that
00:27:46
moment and giving it 110 and I think
00:27:49
there was it was like the right medicine
00:27:51
I needed at that time to to switch off
00:27:54
and I'd find even you know even I'd come
00:27:56
back late at night buggered
00:27:58
I'd actually wake up feeling a bit
00:28:00
refreshed like I'd mentally just had a
00:28:02
break
00:28:03
um because you know
00:28:05
the hardest thing about farming is it's
00:28:06
just 24 hours a day like you wake up in
00:28:08
the middle of the night thinking about
00:28:09
it and first thing in the morning you're
00:28:11
thinking about care yeah just think
00:28:12
about the jobs you got through the next
00:28:13
day yeah you know there's been there's
00:28:15
been times
00:28:17
um
00:28:18
when we had like a you know you have a
00:28:20
really wet patch uh in the spring like
00:28:22
we had we had one a couple of years
00:28:24
around this time actually and
00:28:27
like it just rained every freaking day
00:28:29
and it just makes life very difficult to
00:28:32
farm and you know you'd wake up and
00:28:33
you'd hear the rain and it would just be
00:28:35
like might as well have been bloody
00:28:37
gunfire you know it's just it was
00:28:39
horrible you know yes just you just know
00:28:41
that your day is going to be hard and
00:28:43
[ __ ] and it's going to be wet again and
00:28:46
um yeah you're just you're just worrying
00:28:48
constantly constant worry about your
00:28:50
animals and in the jobs that need to be
00:28:52
done and not enough time to do them and
00:28:54
uh you know you add Financial pressure
00:28:56
onto that or relationship pressure and
00:28:58
it's quite overwhelming and Once the
00:29:01
mind starts
00:29:02
Wheeling away is hard to bloody stop it
00:29:04
it really is yeah yeah it's easier said
00:29:07
than done people say to switch off so
00:29:08
you you never so it was just unboxing
00:29:10
for you you never you never saw any
00:29:12
professional help you never got any
00:29:13
counseling you never went to a doctor no
00:29:15
it was it was all it's just not the done
00:29:17
thing in in rural communities it was
00:29:20
yeah yeah that was we're talking
00:29:21
probably five or six years ago at the
00:29:24
worst of it and it was yeah it was
00:29:25
there's still a massive uh stigma around
00:29:27
it
00:29:28
um but I mean if you can if you can work
00:29:30
through the stuff on your own then
00:29:32
that's fine I'll sort of see it as a
00:29:34
it's it's this whole thing started a
00:29:36
journey for me and you know a lot of the
00:29:38
the counseling of of
00:29:40
um received in the last 12 months has
00:29:42
actually been going back through past
00:29:43
[ __ ] you know and unraveling that fully
00:29:46
and because you don't realize how some
00:29:48
of those early things in life affect
00:29:50
your decision making 20 years from now
00:29:52
on
00:29:53
um you know whatever whatever things you
00:29:55
go through in life
00:29:57
they have a really big impact in it
00:29:59
you're not really aware of them I don't
00:30:00
think until you actually go back you
00:30:03
know particularly with a professional
00:30:05
and sort of unpacket a bit you touch
00:30:07
upon this in your book you want to talk
00:30:09
about this a little bit now okay yeah
00:30:10
because one open book what you're
00:30:12
talking about is um very very traumatic
00:30:15
that happened very early in your life so
00:30:17
I'm not surprised that this is one of
00:30:19
those things that that came back and
00:30:20
read its head um it was uh um like
00:30:23
sexual abuse how old were you uh I was
00:30:26
around about nine how old was the the
00:30:27
older kid uh he was he was a teenager so
00:30:30
14-15 I think right right yeah and
00:30:33
that's been on for like half a year or
00:30:34
something yeah yeah it was over an
00:30:36
extended period happened you know there
00:30:37
are a few incidents here
00:30:39
um and it's the one you know I
00:30:43
I handled hard for a long time about
00:30:45
putting this in the book
00:30:47
um just because there's a lot of people
00:30:48
that don't know about it
00:30:50
um he's in my friends family and friends
00:30:53
yeah yeah there's not a lot of people
00:30:54
that know about it at all so it was
00:30:56
quite a hard thing to put in there but
00:30:58
um I've actually
00:31:00
I've actually talked to other males with
00:31:02
with similar experiences and it's like I
00:31:05
think I'll put her in the book but I
00:31:06
thought I was like one in a billion you
00:31:08
know that I was the only kid that this
00:31:10
ever happened to but um yeah I think I
00:31:13
read a stat not long ago that it's like
00:31:14
one in seven males will suffer some form
00:31:17
of sexual abuse in their life and you
00:31:19
know females is like one and three or
00:31:21
something like that is it's
00:31:23
far too common so
00:31:25
um I wanted to put it in there because I
00:31:28
felt so alone for so many years
00:31:30
um you know I didn't tell anyone until I
00:31:32
was probably
00:31:34
18 19 I think there's a no one no one
00:31:36
yeah yeah right just like guilt and
00:31:39
shame or yeah yeah I thought it was my
00:31:41
fault for a long time
00:31:43
um you know I I felt I felt a lot of
00:31:46
Shame about letting that happen to me um
00:31:49
I guess I grew up in how do you mean
00:31:50
like not fighting back yeah oh come on
00:31:52
he was a he was a [ __ ] teenager yeah
00:31:55
but like I you know I I don't want to
00:31:58
say anything bad about my brothers
00:31:59
because they're awesome but you know I
00:32:01
had two really tough bigger strong
00:32:04
brothers that I idolized and I was like
00:32:06
that'd be so ashamed that I didn't you
00:32:09
know
00:32:13
the role models I had I guess you know
00:32:15
my uncle and the farm is is a typical
00:32:18
tough stoic kiwi male and
00:32:21
um you know when I when I when I think
00:32:24
about it it was it was definitely a
00:32:25
shame about
00:32:27
letting that happen and I think back now
00:32:29
to that kid and I often um blamed myself
00:32:33
for it but I judged it with with the
00:32:36
knowledge I had now
00:32:38
um and I guess I I probably don't know I
00:32:41
didn't even think about it for a long
00:32:42
time or didn't want to think about it
00:32:43
for a lot of those reasons but it wasn't
00:32:46
probably until I
00:32:48
um started boxing at the age of 18 that
00:32:50
I was able to go back to what I guess
00:32:53
and then use it as a bit of yeah you're
00:32:55
talking you're talking about this in
00:32:56
your book you say part of the reason you
00:32:57
took up boxing was so that if you ever
00:32:59
like passed let's go in the store oh
00:33:00
totally you better not knock his lights
00:33:01
yeah because that that was that thing of
00:33:03
of I felt so [ __ ] about not fighting it
00:33:06
harder you know and and you know that
00:33:09
was there was a lot of the shame in the
00:33:11
guilt and
00:33:12
um yeah like I said I
00:33:14
I've heard it from other you know
00:33:16
victims before as they feel like it's
00:33:18
their fault
00:33:19
um and it's you know I think back now
00:33:21
and I think how [ __ ] stupid is that
00:33:23
but at the time you know as a kid you
00:33:26
just can't process like I didn't even
00:33:28
know what was happening really I didn't
00:33:29
know if it was how bad it was or how
00:33:31
wrong it was
00:33:32
um it's really hard to process at that
00:33:35
age
00:33:35
um yeah probably a little bit different
00:33:37
if you if you get to it I guess three or
00:33:39
four years older when you're a bit
00:33:40
mature you can understand things a bit
00:33:42
more but you know I think about my
00:33:44
daughter now she's eight so I was you
00:33:46
know just a little bit older than her
00:33:47
age yeah it's um you know God
00:33:51
I hate to think what I'd do to someone
00:33:52
here if you found that out you know but
00:33:55
I just think of of her and I'm just like
00:33:57
she's no way she could fight back
00:33:58
against
00:33:59
someone even a boy yeah
00:34:03
um so yeah it's it's silly
00:34:06
but it's just how the mind works and so
00:34:08
I wanted to put it in there just to um
00:34:11
you know so someone else might read it
00:34:13
that's that's been through something so
00:34:15
they don't feel alone I guess and and
00:34:17
know that it's
00:34:18
it's not the end of their life or not
00:34:20
the end of their their life as they know
00:34:23
that they can use it as a positive I
00:34:25
guess is you know because it's it's
00:34:28
it's hard but it's it's a part of who I
00:34:31
am now and I wouldn't have the courage
00:34:33
to do the things that I've done without
00:34:35
having gone through that either in a in
00:34:37
a strange way it's um
00:34:40
yeah I like to think that it's it's made
00:34:42
me something more rather than taking
00:34:44
everything away from me and the um the
00:34:47
um the perpetrator he's going to read
00:34:49
this right he's definitely going to read
00:34:51
it probably yeah like he surely he he
00:34:54
wakes up every day and thinks is this
00:34:56
the day there's going to be a knock at
00:34:57
the door yeah and I've often thought
00:34:59
about it I'm pretty tempted but I know
00:35:02
that it's I mean you're talking the book
00:35:04
about your reasons for not for not going
00:35:06
to the place and not going through but
00:35:08
Isn't it nice to know that even if you
00:35:10
don't do anything about it he's you've
00:35:13
let go of the secret which was no part
00:35:14
of your own he's still got this secret
00:35:16
and he every time the phone rings or the
00:35:19
door knocks absolutely and it's not
00:35:21
something that I realized until I was
00:35:22
older that you know he's got to live
00:35:24
with it as well
00:35:25
um you know I've I've tried to turn it
00:35:27
into something positive
00:35:30
um I can't imagine there's any way that
00:35:31
he can you know and he's got a you know
00:35:34
whether he regrets it or not he's got to
00:35:36
live with that for the rest of his life
00:35:37
and
00:35:38
um yes the strangers one day I'll knock
00:35:39
on the store maybe he might listen to
00:35:42
his podcast and just get the sweet stuff
00:35:44
but you know it's quite likely that one
00:35:47
I've actually dreaded it you know
00:35:49
crossing paths you know New Zealand's a
00:35:50
small place um crossing paths with them
00:35:52
you know just Hey Hey Howard uh
00:35:55
how do you think you'd be like for a
00:35:58
freeze or I probably would to be honest
00:36:00
yeah yeah you don't know as confident as
00:36:03
I am now
00:36:04
um yeah it would be quite a
00:36:06
quite an awkward thing I I'm pretty
00:36:09
restrained but I think I would
00:36:12
I think I'd definitely say something
00:36:14
um
00:36:16
yeah
00:36:17
who knows and you'd get away with giving
00:36:19
him a hiding wouldn't you what's he
00:36:20
gonna do go to the police
00:36:23
you know but you know that was one of
00:36:26
the reasons why I didn't go to the
00:36:27
police because it's my word against his
00:36:28
you know and it's yeah I totally
00:36:30
understand
00:36:31
um you know whether whether people do
00:36:33
report these things or don't I
00:36:35
understand both sides of the coin you
00:36:37
know it's a really hard place to be in
00:36:39
and really hard to really hard to go
00:36:42
through I guess that process of of
00:36:43
dragging it through court and airing
00:36:46
your secrets in in a way that's out of
00:36:48
your control
00:36:49
um I guess you know with putting it in
00:36:51
the book it isn't my control I've told
00:36:53
the parts of it that I want to so I can
00:36:55
I can control my my story around that to
00:36:58
a point I guess I still walk into rooms
00:37:01
um particularly around men in in my like
00:37:04
screen everyone you know because I'm
00:37:07
Sarah just subconsciously yeah it's just
00:37:10
I'm looking for who's the threat you
00:37:12
know
00:37:13
um and that's something I've done ever
00:37:15
since is is just you know you very very
00:37:18
you get really good I guess of picking
00:37:20
up a Vibe or or dodgy people or or
00:37:23
suspicious sort of characters you just
00:37:26
get really good at
00:37:27
just screening people for that and um
00:37:30
you know that's just one of the
00:37:31
consequences of having having uh
00:37:33
something taken out of your control like
00:37:34
that I suppose This was um this was
00:37:37
always going to come to a head if it
00:37:38
wasn't the milk payout and financial
00:37:40
stress on the farm it was always gonna
00:37:41
it was always going to realize it yeah
00:37:44
and I I think like growing going through
00:37:46
my um once I'd sort of discovered boxing
00:37:49
as an 18 year old and and I thought I'd
00:37:51
sort of deal dealt with a lot of things
00:37:53
and created a lot of toughness and
00:37:55
resilience and all those things that we
00:37:57
need in life I next never actually
00:38:00
thought I would get to a bad place
00:38:03
um as naive as that may sound to a lot
00:38:05
of people it's just
00:38:06
I think that's pretty common for for a
00:38:09
lot of people is you know I was a fairly
00:38:11
happy sort of a chap for most of for the
00:38:13
most part
00:38:15
um
00:38:16
but yeah I never thought I'd get to that
00:38:18
place and and to actually get the right
00:38:20
realization that you are there is is a
00:38:23
pretty big wake-up call that it can
00:38:24
literally happen to anyone and you know
00:38:26
the more the more people you know it's
00:38:28
great that you've had so many sports
00:38:30
stars on there people that you look up
00:38:32
to that that think never deal with this
00:38:34
stuff it's so important to for them to
00:38:36
actually tell their story and
00:38:38
um so empowering for a lot of people too
00:38:40
yeah so I mean uh what I've been through
00:38:43
is um
00:38:44
absolutely nothing compared to to what
00:38:46
you went through as a nine-year-old boy
00:38:48
but I thought I got through and skated
00:38:50
as well but then um there's just a bunch
00:38:52
of [ __ ] I went through like a we had a
00:38:53
family adoption that turned pretty bad
00:38:55
and yeah relationship broke up and years
00:38:57
and years of fertility treatment and
00:38:59
stuff and um I suppose I just didn't
00:39:01
deal with it it was probably like oh
00:39:02
well onwards and outwards yeah you know
00:39:04
what's next and then um if you don't
00:39:07
address the stuff eventually it's gonna
00:39:08
comes back to bite it does it does
00:39:11
things and but you know everyone's
00:39:13
everyone's um story is their own and and
00:39:16
your trauma is is all you know you know
00:39:19
like I don't expect other people to I
00:39:21
don't want sympathy and and poor you
00:39:23
sort of thing from from putting that in
00:39:25
the book
00:39:27
um and I don't want anyone to think that
00:39:28
that their trauma is or you know
00:39:30
challenges are not worthy or something
00:39:34
because you only know what you know and
00:39:35
you've only been through what you've
00:39:36
been through so but you know it is you
00:39:39
know if I could put a message out there
00:39:41
particularly to the fellas is he
00:39:42
actually got to deal with the [ __ ] you
00:39:44
know when
00:39:45
otherwise it does come back and buy you
00:39:47
know all those things add up over time
00:39:49
hey you know um one little thing here
00:39:51
and one little thing there they all just
00:39:53
pile on top of you and uh sooner or
00:39:55
later you're carrying the weight of the
00:39:56
world and you can only do that for so
00:39:58
long yeah yeah yeah yeah I I like to use
00:40:00
it and I don't know if my analogies are
00:40:01
any good or not but it's like having a
00:40:04
workout then getting your sweaty gym
00:40:06
gear and checking it in a bag and
00:40:07
putting in the boot of your car and then
00:40:09
getting more Gym gear checking on that
00:40:10
yeah eventually like the smell is only
00:40:13
going to get worse and worse and you're
00:40:14
going to need to start growing some
00:40:15
funky stuff yeah you're gonna need to
00:40:16
deal with it one day yeah yeah
00:40:18
absolutely yeah man but you've been
00:40:20
through some stuff and we when you when
00:40:22
you came here
00:40:23
um your wife and your two kids were very
00:40:25
tired because you've just had a flight
00:40:26
from Fiji
00:40:28
um they went for a walk like now that
00:40:30
you're you're a dad and you've got a son
00:40:32
and a daughter do you like do you kind
00:40:35
of wish you told your own parents at the
00:40:37
time what was going on oh yeah
00:40:38
absolutely and
00:40:40
um
00:40:41
you know I I got to a point I guess
00:40:43
where I felt like I didn't want to tell
00:40:46
them because I'm I now know
00:40:49
um
00:40:49
as a parent how you would feel getting
00:40:51
told that you know
00:40:53
20 years down the track or whatever it
00:40:54
was uh so you just want to you wanna you
00:40:57
just want to protect your kids right
00:40:58
absolutely so it's it's a you know I can
00:41:01
just picture one of my kids come in
00:41:03
saying that I'd be absolutely
00:41:04
heartbroken and Furious and you know
00:41:07
because that's your job you know to
00:41:08
protect them but you know it's it's
00:41:10
absolutely not their fault you know and
00:41:12
that's that's the hard thing to
00:41:13
understand as a parent they they had no
00:41:16
um
00:41:16
control over that and it was yeah oh if
00:41:19
I could go back in time I would I would
00:41:22
but it was just it was just too much too
00:41:25
much guilt and shame to do it at the
00:41:27
time and
00:41:29
um it's one of those things that's sort
00:41:30
of sad but true but
00:41:32
I think
00:41:34
from the from the victims that I've
00:41:36
talked to
00:41:37
um you know we all we'll go through that
00:41:40
same same feeling and it's you know you
00:41:42
think back at him and you think it's
00:41:43
it's so unjustified so unjustified to
00:41:46
feel like not completely it makes no
00:41:48
sense absolutely no sense and I I can't
00:41:51
figure out for the life of us why our
00:41:52
brain does that and you know some of it
00:41:54
must be around that stigma of of
00:41:56
um you know being tough enough or or
00:41:58
whatever it is particularly if I think
00:42:00
for males is is
00:42:03
um like we said earlier not fighting
00:42:05
back or not being able to protect
00:42:06
yourself I think was a big thing and
00:42:07
that's like I absolutely idolized Mike
00:42:10
Tyson because I wanted that
00:42:12
you know to to have that Persona of
00:42:15
being able to protect myself and yeah
00:42:17
he's the baddest man on the planet he's
00:42:18
the best man on the planet and I wanted
00:42:20
to be that because then no one would you
00:42:21
know even try you know that was that was
00:42:23
a big part of it and uh even with that
00:42:25
list no one's teasing Mike Tyson you'd
00:42:28
be afraid of man too wouldn't you
00:42:29
um so yes it's it's interesting you know
00:42:33
that that point in life is as [ __ ] as it
00:42:35
was it's it's led me down a positive
00:42:37
path and I'm I'm thankful that I found
00:42:40
uh uh really thankful that I found an
00:42:42
outlet to express it in a positive way
00:42:46
um you know if you if you look through
00:42:48
you know people that have had addictions
00:42:50
in life a lot of it stems from a trauma
00:42:52
of something similar that they've found
00:42:54
a negative outlet for you know everyone
00:42:56
needs an outlet for it
00:42:58
um yes I'm extremely thankful that I
00:43:00
found something positive out of it and
00:43:01
you know when I think back
00:43:04
um that was probably the little seed
00:43:05
that got planted to to start Farm fit
00:43:07
yeah right right subliminate
00:43:09
subliminally yeah absolutely yeah yeah I
00:43:11
think it's
00:43:13
um I wouldn't have thought it 10 years
00:43:14
ago but you know when I think back to
00:43:16
um you know when people ask me how I
00:43:19
started farmford I usually go back to go
00:43:21
back to that that was a catalyst for
00:43:23
something
00:43:24
um and it's just taken 25 years to sort
00:43:28
of get there I guess but
00:43:30
howdy now what do you think 85 yeah yeah
00:43:34
he's still got ears on me
00:43:36
I'm 49 and I'm just I've just let the
00:43:39
last few years
00:43:40
um like discovered the importance of um
00:43:42
you know having having deeper
00:43:44
conversations with people yeah I suppose
00:43:45
like showing a bit of vulnerability yeah
00:43:47
and that's I'm and it's I I understand
00:43:50
how important it is and I understand how
00:43:52
good it feels when you do it but I I
00:43:54
still do struggle with some of my mates
00:43:55
like you get together and we can like um
00:43:58
smash out a couple of bottles of wine
00:43:59
and just have shallow talk before we
00:44:01
yeah before we get to the deeper stuff
00:44:04
and uh then you see you see women they
00:44:06
get together and they meet other women
00:44:08
straight into that deep stuff why is it
00:44:11
so hard hey because it is it's cathartic
00:44:12
it's really good yeah oh absolutely and
00:44:14
that's probably one of the best things
00:44:16
about writing this book was actually
00:44:17
going back
00:44:19
um through life and you know revisiting
00:44:21
that that
00:44:23
um time in my life and understanding the
00:44:25
emotions of it and but also the good
00:44:27
stuff that came after it but but really
00:44:29
like sitting down and appreciating
00:44:31
everything you know and it was quite
00:44:33
cool actually to see every everything
00:44:34
tie in together and it's sort of like a
00:44:36
timeline of life really and you actually
00:44:38
sit back and you think oh this happened
00:44:40
because of that and you know I met that
00:44:42
person then and that became something
00:44:44
else and you know it's it's quite a cool
00:44:47
thing to actually sit down and and look
00:44:49
back at your life and understand it a
00:44:50
little bit better you know yeah I
00:44:52
understand why what what makes you and
00:44:55
why you Tech yeah you do the things you
00:44:57
do yeah absolutely yeah it's a really
00:44:59
important thing to do yeah
00:45:00
self-awareness right I suppose um yeah
00:45:02
are you quite good with gratitude
00:45:05
I'm a lot better now than I used to be
00:45:06
yeah like uh five five or six years ago
00:45:09
I probably um
00:45:10
didn't even know what the word was it's
00:45:13
in all honesty yeah I'm still I think
00:45:16
most uh most males still live that um
00:45:20
she'll be right attitude just just not
00:45:22
even think about that but I I find it
00:45:25
quite a powerful thing to to look back
00:45:26
on your day or your year or something
00:45:28
and and um and really pick out some
00:45:32
positive say it's it's quite an
00:45:34
empowering thing and
00:45:35
even better than that is is reliving
00:45:39
um times when you've felt gratitude or
00:45:41
witnessed it and that's something I do
00:45:43
really regularly now is is I've found
00:45:45
that super powerful rather than uh
00:45:47
thanking a roof over your head is is
00:45:49
actually think back to a time when you
00:45:51
when you received a gift or something
00:45:53
special or a time that someone you know
00:45:56
someone showed that they cared about you
00:45:57
something like that is super powerful to
00:46:00
replay that story
00:46:02
um so I'm pretty good at doing that
00:46:04
automatically now and reflecting on the
00:46:08
day and it's a seems silly I wouldn't
00:46:11
have picked myself sitting here as a
00:46:13
farmer talking about gratitude or
00:46:16
journaling or anything like that is
00:46:18
it's
00:46:18
um it's quite an odd thing but it yeah
00:46:21
it's great though it's great because I I
00:46:24
suppose for me like I got to a position
00:46:25
where um I was very financially driven
00:46:28
and I was earning fantastic money I
00:46:30
really enjoyed my job but it was quite
00:46:31
stressful I guess
00:46:32
um but I had all these things
00:46:35
I'd buy something new and it'd give me
00:46:37
like a um like a momentary I don't know
00:46:40
if it's a dopamine hat or a rush of
00:46:42
Serotonin or something and then I'd feel
00:46:44
flat again and then I realized like the
00:46:46
the key to gratitude is just being happy
00:46:48
with less actually yeah and it's like
00:46:50
long-term thinking a is super important
00:46:53
um we often we often look for those
00:46:54
short-term hits whether it's a rum at
00:46:57
the end of the night or buying a buying
00:46:59
any toy a jet ski or something like that
00:47:00
but you know it's a frame TV yeah 65
00:47:04
inches you know you know it's
00:47:06
understanding that that long-term head
00:47:08
is way more important eh and uh you know
00:47:11
same as the same as a bar of chocolate
00:47:12
you know it's my it's my weakness
00:47:14
um if I'm gonna going for a short-term
00:47:16
hit it so it's a tasty bit of food but
00:47:19
it's really the long-term thinking that
00:47:21
gets us through life yeah sure and stuff
00:47:23
yeah sure well you seem to have that
00:47:24
right you um your kids um
00:47:27
your son in particular he looks pretty I
00:47:29
met him just before he looks pretty
00:47:30
pissed off with you at the moment
00:47:31
because he's very tired and you told me
00:47:33
you um got them out of bed first thing
00:47:34
you said I'm wanting to see a sunrise in
00:47:36
Fiji yeah and I feel like that's one of
00:47:38
the I don't know maybe he's too young to
00:47:39
appreciate it but maybe years from now
00:47:41
he'll look back and go [ __ ] that was a
00:47:42
cool moment with Dad yeah I actually I
00:47:44
was actually surprised I got out of bed
00:47:46
to be here
00:47:48
um I was actually really happy with they
00:47:50
both had
00:47:52
um quite a positive attitude about
00:47:53
getting up that early and and because we
00:47:55
had to hike up a bit of a hill you know
00:47:57
it was a 15 minute walk up a hill at uh
00:47:59
six in the morning
00:48:00
um they both really enjoyed it and I I
00:48:02
think they've probably just got to that
00:48:04
age and they've seen me
00:48:05
uh or they've sort of had me drag them
00:48:08
along to enough stuff now that maybe
00:48:10
just just clicking that um it is
00:48:12
something special and to you know pay
00:48:13
attention to those little things in
00:48:15
nature because that's a distinct to
00:48:17
remember you know when I was struggling
00:48:18
on the farm was
00:48:20
uh one of the other things I did was was
00:48:22
actually I had to remember why why was I
00:48:25
farming you know I had to ask myself
00:48:26
that question because I wanted to give
00:48:29
it all away
00:48:30
um and so I had to think back to when I
00:48:32
was a kid on my uncle's Farm um you know
00:48:34
just having a ball and and just enjoying
00:48:36
that farm life and I sort of made a
00:48:39
promise to myself to you know that was
00:48:41
why I was farming to replicate that for
00:48:43
my kids so it was I made that a priority
00:48:46
because I was working so hard on the
00:48:48
bloody farm and leaving the kids at home
00:48:49
because they slow you down a bit so it
00:48:52
was actually I had to stop and sort of
00:48:53
smell the roses a bit and you know go
00:48:56
and pet the cows and endure those things
00:48:58
with the kids that I liked and that was
00:49:00
the reason why I was farming so it's a
00:49:03
pretty cool thing to
00:49:05
um teach your kids how to be grateful
00:49:07
for those things and I try and Hammer at
00:49:09
home it's hard though when they're
00:49:10
living
00:49:11
A Life That's so different now with
00:49:14
tablets and phones and YouTube yeah all
00:49:17
the things oh it's crazy but um yeah
00:49:20
it's it's it's so important you know
00:49:21
what's really interesting is
00:49:24
um Fiji you go there the happiest bloody
00:49:26
people have ever met eh oh the nicest
00:49:28
people in my world and it's it's not so
00:49:31
much the place it's the people that
00:49:33
keeps me going back there it's only my
00:49:35
second trip but you know I'm gonna keep
00:49:37
going back there because they're amazing
00:49:38
people but a lot of them have got
00:49:40
absolutely freaking nothing eh and you
00:49:43
know you think about that and then I
00:49:44
think about my kids who can be um you
00:49:47
know a bit stroppy sometimes and they
00:49:49
don't get what they want they don't get
00:49:50
what they want you know they're
00:49:51
sometimes they know they need their you
00:49:52
know they want to watch their TV show or
00:49:54
something it's the end of the world if
00:49:55
they can't do it
00:49:57
you know how have we over complicated
00:50:00
life you know yeah yeah
00:50:02
um you know you think about those those
00:50:03
Fijian people man they've a lot of them
00:50:05
have got absolutely nothing but they're
00:50:07
so happy so grateful
00:50:09
um and so positive about life
00:50:11
um and I look around us in the society
00:50:13
we live in now in New Zealand and
00:50:15
America you know Western culture and
00:50:17
it's like there's not that many people
00:50:18
that are happy
00:50:20
um or or that friendly like you walk
00:50:22
down the street even in New Plymouth now
00:50:24
I went for a run there along the
00:50:25
foreshore and
00:50:27
um on the road Track by the way yeah I'm
00:50:29
that guy though that'll you know give
00:50:31
you a give you the eyebrows or a good
00:50:32
day or something you know that's just
00:50:34
how I've grown up and and no one was
00:50:36
Bloody they were looking at me like I
00:50:37
was a bloody idiot when I was saying
00:50:39
g'day and it was only the the older
00:50:41
people that said hello back and I was
00:50:43
just like man this is sad you know
00:50:46
um what sort of this is not the world I
00:50:48
want to live in I want to walk down the
00:50:50
street and say good day to people or
00:50:51
stop for a yarn and and that's that's
00:50:53
normal because that was the New Zealand
00:50:55
that I grew up in but it's you just
00:50:56
don't get that anymore you get looked at
00:50:58
I was getting some weird looks saying
00:51:00
g'day to people that was horrible I
00:51:03
messed about I did that the same here um
00:51:05
in Auckland where I where I run it if I
00:51:07
see not so much walkers but other
00:51:08
Runners someone running the other
00:51:10
direction I'll always give them a wave
00:51:11
yeah and because I mean here we are
00:51:13
we're out doing the same thing at the
00:51:15
same time what are the [ __ ] chances
00:51:16
yeah and the amount of people that are I
00:51:18
don't know they're in the zone so they
00:51:19
don't even see you or they give you a
00:51:20
look like do I know you it's really
00:51:22
really odd but I really want to make the
00:51:24
uh make the the friendly wave a thing
00:51:26
again I think it's got to come back and
00:51:28
even driving on uh rural roads now
00:51:30
anyone who's listening to this podcast
00:51:32
so if you're driving on a rural road out
00:51:33
in the country just wave when you go
00:51:36
past the car you whatever it is
00:51:38
um one finger or two just up over the
00:51:40
steering wheel
00:51:41
to make sure it's the right way around
00:51:43
um but you know that's that's the New
00:51:45
Zealand I grew up in where if if you're
00:51:46
driving down a rural road everyone gave
00:51:48
someone a wave or you know
00:51:50
um acknowledged their existence
00:51:52
um but even that's happening less yeah
00:51:54
and it's sad man it um
00:51:56
it actually like is I find it quite sad
00:51:59
that
00:52:00
um that's happening to New Zealand yeah
00:52:02
I think yeah I think we can probably
00:52:04
learn a lot from the uh the Fijian
00:52:06
mindset and it comes back to what I was
00:52:07
saying before about uh instead of
00:52:09
wanting more just being happier with
00:52:10
less maybe yeah I don't know absolutely
00:52:12
um by the way good on you for going to
00:52:13
Fiji as well because I uh my um my uncle
00:52:16
John like growing up I'm pretty I don't
00:52:18
remember him ever having a holiday I
00:52:20
feel like in the rural communities back
00:52:22
in the 80s and 90s it was almost like a
00:52:23
badge of honor to talk about how many
00:52:25
years you've gone without having a break
00:52:26
is it a thing a lot of people I keep a
00:52:30
pretty close eye on like the the dairy
00:52:31
farming pages in New Zealand and uh some
00:52:34
people wear that as a badge along you
00:52:36
haven't had a day off for six years or
00:52:37
you know all these sorts of things and
00:52:39
I'm just like you're an idiot
00:52:40
um life is passing you by I mean one of
00:52:43
the things I learned from boxing there's
00:52:45
a there's a famous commentator uh boxing
00:52:47
trainer he actually trained Mike Tyson
00:52:49
when he was a teenager
00:52:51
um and it's a it's about being tough and
00:52:54
we have this this idea in our mind you
00:52:57
know this the stoic toughness of of the
00:53:00
Kiwi male and that you you don't say
00:53:02
anything you don't take a day off you
00:53:04
know particularly in farming you know
00:53:05
you you get injured you just keep buddy
00:53:07
working you get sick you just work
00:53:08
through it and that's all very well
00:53:11
but actually if you're if you're smart
00:53:13
about things and and you do take a day
00:53:15
off even forbid or you know have an
00:53:18
off-farm activity or or get fit for
00:53:20
carving you know do these little things
00:53:21
that are smart you know uh do a journal
00:53:24
um you actually become tougher because
00:53:26
you don't need to rely on just being a
00:53:28
hard bastard anymore you've got all
00:53:30
these other tools that you can pick up
00:53:33
um and and use and you know when things
00:53:35
do really get tough sometimes you do
00:53:37
need to tough things out but it's there
00:53:39
and it's intact and this boxing trainer
00:53:41
he he likened it to hitting a stone with
00:53:44
a hammer
00:53:45
um and you know a stone's really hard
00:53:46
it's tough but sooner or later if you
00:53:49
just keep chipping away at it it's going
00:53:50
to crack you know it might not be the
00:53:52
hundredth time it gets hurt it might be
00:53:54
the ten thousands time you know but uh
00:53:56
sooner or later it's going to start
00:53:57
cracking and it's not going to be tough
00:53:59
anymore so you wear it out and there's
00:54:02
something I've really discovered the
00:54:03
last probably six years is is is to be
00:54:07
smarter and that's a lot of what I
00:54:09
wanted to do with the book is is give
00:54:10
people some tools to use that aren't
00:54:13
just being tough and it's not just
00:54:16
um you know putting your head down and
00:54:18
carrying on it's it's actually picking
00:54:20
up the phone and talking about things
00:54:21
and working through things and you just
00:54:24
become so much you know you not only do
00:54:27
you become a better farmer you'd be
00:54:28
become a better person and a better
00:54:30
husband or a better father or a better
00:54:31
wife or whatever job you do
00:54:34
um so we need it we need to change the
00:54:36
mentality around that and actually be
00:54:38
smarter about how we live our lives now
00:54:40
rather than just relying on tough yeah
00:54:43
right I love that I love that right okay
00:54:46
we should wrap this up um and I don't
00:54:48
know if there's a a simple answer to
00:54:51
this but for anyone that's listening to
00:54:52
this right now
00:54:54
that's in a good place I feel like
00:54:56
that's that's the time where you should
00:54:57
start doing the work know that tough
00:54:59
times in your life are going to come at
00:55:00
some point yeah and the more prepared
00:55:02
you are the better even though when you
00:55:03
were when you when you're feeling great
00:55:04
and life's going good the last thing you
00:55:06
want to do is like start a [ __ ]
00:55:07
Journal
00:55:09
is that necessary right yeah
00:55:11
um but for anyone that's in that
00:55:12
position rural or otherwise like what
00:55:14
would your what would your key point to
00:55:15
be to them
00:55:17
look I I sum it up pretty simply and I
00:55:20
look at my physical mental health as a
00:55:22
table
00:55:23
every table has four legs and another
00:55:26
sort of the the pillars that hold up
00:55:28
your health and I look at it as stress
00:55:30
so you know filtering out the stress you
00:55:33
don't need in life dealing with the
00:55:35
stress you know in a healthy way you
00:55:37
know don't go on sink a dozen a purse go
00:55:40
and actually yeah solve the problems
00:55:42
talk about it deal with it in a healthy
00:55:44
way so that it's not a stress anymore
00:55:46
um some sort of movement
00:55:48
it can be anything from yoga to gamer
00:55:52
hockey surfing you know I'm all about
00:55:54
people just getting out and using their
00:55:56
bodies in some form of nature I think
00:55:59
that's really important to to do it in
00:56:00
our natural setting you know we're human
00:56:02
beings we're not robots so get out and
00:56:04
move look after your body and and that
00:56:08
movement because it does disappear as
00:56:10
your age of yeah started to find
00:56:12
um
00:56:13
sleep super important particularly for
00:56:16
for people that work funny hours Farmers
00:56:19
shift workers is having a sleep routine
00:56:21
without sleep you you make pretty poor
00:56:24
decisions about everything basically so
00:56:27
that's been super important to me to
00:56:28
have a good routine and then what you
00:56:31
consume
00:56:32
um not only what we put in our mouths
00:56:34
but what we listen to and what we watch
00:56:35
and who we hang around here you know the
00:56:37
environment we create around us we we
00:56:40
soak up like a sponge and it's
00:56:42
you know it's super important to be
00:56:43
aware that that can be a really negative
00:56:47
um you know feeder for our for our head
00:56:49
space so
00:56:50
um trying to you know watch what you
00:56:52
watch is super important especially
00:56:54
these days in social media
00:56:56
um
00:56:57
you know if if you can do a reasonable
00:56:59
job on those four things I think
00:57:02
um you know just just have one thing for
00:57:04
each of those table legs that you can
00:57:07
look towards to to help you out I think
00:57:11
that goes a long way to keeping you uh
00:57:14
above the line so to speak yeah I love
00:57:16
it good advice but in saying that a
00:57:17
boxer person a couple of episodes of
00:57:19
Love Island every now and then
00:57:21
you know social media is a funny one
00:57:24
though because it's um it can be very
00:57:25
negative but then there's um yes people
00:57:26
like you with your fan for the cap doing
00:57:28
good yeah but what I noticed was I used
00:57:30
to be a consumer so you know you go on
00:57:33
Facebook you know like I said earlier I
00:57:35
didn't post anything I just consumed
00:57:37
whatever was out there and you don't
00:57:38
realize how negative that can be like I
00:57:41
remember uh you know when I was
00:57:43
struggling was a time when uh I think it
00:57:47
was safe and Greenpeace were just
00:57:49
absolutely attacking Dairy Farmers and
00:57:51
um I sort of felt like the All Blacks
00:57:53
when they lost the World Cup everyone
00:57:55
just [ __ ] hated them like imagine
00:58:00
that you love for your country yeah
00:58:03
um but everyone bloody hates you for it
00:58:05
and that was that was actually really
00:58:07
hard to to take because it was
00:58:09
everywhere it was on it was on you know
00:58:10
the 6 p.m news it was on Facebook
00:58:13
um wherever you looked were you know
00:58:15
farmers were just bastards and [ __ ]
00:58:17
and they hated their cows and hated New
00:58:19
Zealand and and I was like [ __ ] off I
00:58:22
love my country I'm the backbone of us
00:58:24
yeah I'm trying to feed the world man
00:58:27
you know when you when you think about
00:58:29
farming New Zealand it was you know the
00:58:31
pioneers of of
00:58:33
um you know the Europeans that came over
00:58:34
and and turned it into an industry and
00:58:36
yeah
00:58:37
um I'm really proud of that you know so
00:58:39
it was really really bloody hard to see
00:58:41
that being attacked and me you know and
00:58:44
a lot of farmers felt like this is
00:58:45
getting lumped into the bottom two
00:58:47
percent that were doing a [ __ ] job of it
00:58:50
um so it can really feed into that
00:58:52
headspace and what I found with with
00:58:55
creating Farm fit as I became a Creator
00:58:58
not a consumer so I'd
00:59:00
um you know I just scroll this you know
00:59:02
I don't I don't have the time or energy
00:59:04
to to absorb a lot of that negative [ __ ]
00:59:07
you really pay attention to who you
00:59:08
follow and and um you know that
00:59:10
consumption of what you actually
00:59:12
consuming I'll stop watching the news
00:59:14
like a year ago you know it was just
00:59:16
it's just all negative and [ __ ] A lot of
00:59:18
the time so it's kind of yeah and it's
00:59:20
it's designed for
00:59:22
um it's an hour of content for what TV1
00:59:24
or TV3 I think is going to sell out yeah
00:59:25
exactly exactly that's it try and change
00:59:28
because you can't avoid social media but
00:59:30
try and change your algorithms follow
00:59:31
farmfa absolutely if you see someone
00:59:33
that constantly posts good quotes like
00:59:35
them more and then you'll get more of
00:59:36
them you feed absolutely yeah change the
00:59:38
algorithm yeah yeah you've got to you've
00:59:40
got to be you've got to have control of
00:59:42
who you're following that's the one
00:59:43
thing I like about Instagram actually
00:59:45
other than Facebook is you I think
00:59:47
there's more control over who you follow
00:59:49
and you don't tend to get uh random [ __ ]
00:59:51
generating into your feeding more though
00:59:53
I have noticed it a fair bit more lately
00:59:55
but
00:59:56
um I like I wasn't even on on Instagram
00:59:58
before fanfic you know it was it was I'm
01:00:00
pretty new to it but
01:00:02
um yeah just understanding who you're
01:00:04
following and you know if they make you
01:00:05
feel bad [ __ ] don't follow them yeah
01:00:07
absolutely it's as easy as that
01:00:08
absolutely yeah people are simple all
01:00:10
right Kane Briscoe um brand new book
01:00:12
tools for the top haddock um
01:00:14
congratulations man you must um look at
01:00:16
the cover of there and yeah actually you
01:00:17
take that if you want you take that some
01:00:20
reading for the plane back to back to
01:00:21
the knacky I also look really fit me
01:00:23
yeah good to see you where your best
01:00:25
gears for the cover dirty old Canterbury
01:00:27
shorts what is it a ridge line Stitch
01:00:29
line [ __ ] no no that's my own shirt
01:00:32
yeah yeah no no it's standard attire
01:00:35
mate I'm shorts all year so it was uh
01:00:37
they wanted the normal look yeah oh you
01:00:39
I can tell you bursting with pride and
01:00:41
uh and you should be it's a it's a it's
01:00:43
a true honor that you've got to this
01:00:44
point um love what you're doing with
01:00:45
fanfit and um and keep it up man you've
01:00:48
done the work thank you very much I
01:00:49
really appreciate you getting me on and
01:00:51
um being able to get some uh average
01:00:54
rural New Zealand Channel things have
01:00:57
been and I don't know we start recording
01:00:59
and then you can explain what three
01:01:00
Waters is to me nobody knows
01:01:03
Kane Briscoe thank you very much for
01:01:06
listening all the way through if you
01:01:07
want to learn more about Kane you can
01:01:09
Google his book tools for the top
01:01:10
Paddock and if you like the podcast
01:01:12
Please Subscribe follow like and even
01:01:15
give it a rating or review I honestly
01:01:17
from the bottom of my heart really
01:01:19
appreciate the support
01:01:21
um this may sound a little bit cheesy
01:01:23
but it has been a tough hustle this year
01:01:25
this podcast it's like building a
01:01:26
business from scratch so on those hard
01:01:28
weeks the love and the support for the
01:01:31
podcast really has kept me going so if
01:01:33
that's you thanks so much
01:01:35
um I can't tell you how much I
01:01:36
appreciate it and if you've got any
01:01:38
feedback I take everything on board good
01:01:39
or bad you can message me Dom Harvey NZ
01:01:42
gmail.com or flick me a message on
01:01:45
Instagram Don Harvey NZ all right thanks
01:01:47
team

Podspun Insights

In episode 27 of Runners Only, Dom Harvey welcomes Kane Briscoe, a Taranaki dairy farmer who has transformed his life through fitness and mental health advocacy. The conversation kicks off with a light-hearted exploration of their contrasting lifestyles—Dom's urban existence versus Kane's rural life. As they dive deeper, Kane shares his journey from struggling with mental health on the farm to launching the Farm Fit movement, which encourages physical fitness as a means of improving mental well-being.

Kane recounts the challenges he faced, including a significant drop in milk prices that pushed him to the brink. He candidly discusses the importance of recognizing one's own struggles and the need for vulnerability, especially among men. The episode takes a poignant turn as Kane opens up about his past trauma, revealing how it shaped his resilience and ultimately inspired him to write his book, "Tools for the Top Paddock." The discussion emphasizes the power of gratitude, community, and the necessity of addressing mental health in rural environments.

Listeners are treated to a blend of humor, heartfelt moments, and practical advice on maintaining mental and physical health. Kane's story is not just about farming; it's a testament to the strength found in vulnerability and the importance of supporting one another in tough times. This episode is a celebration of life, resilience, and the unexpected paths we take towards self-discovery.

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 95
    Most inspiring
  • 95
    Best concept / idea
  • 93
    Best overall
  • 92
    Most heartbreaking

Episode Highlights

  • The Importance of Mental Health
    Kane discusses how physical activity intertwines with mental health.
    “We understand how that intertwines with mental health in a big way.”
    @ 05m 07s
    October 22, 2022
  • Celebrating Achievements
    Kane talks about displaying race medals as a reminder of personal achievements.
    “Sometimes you just need a reminder of what you’re capable of.”
    @ 10m 56s
    October 22, 2022
  • Kane's Journey to Fitness
    Kane Briscoe shares how he transformed his struggles into a fitness movement.
    “If I can go through that and find a way to get out of it, surely I can help others.”
    @ 16m 42s
    October 22, 2022
  • The Rollercoaster of Dairy Farming
    Dairy farming brought excitement and financial pressure, leading to a drastic income drop.
    “Things were really positive but it was a hugely stressful time.”
    @ 20m 12s
    October 22, 2022
  • The Turning Point
    A moment of acceptance changed everything for him, realizing he was responsible for his choices.
    “I had to actually man up and accept that she was bloody right about that.”
    @ 25m 12s
    October 22, 2022
  • Breaking the Silence
    He shares his experience with sexual abuse, aiming to help others feel less alone.
    “I felt so alone for so many years.”
    @ 31m 30s
    October 22, 2022
  • Facing Trauma
    Discussing the difficulty of reporting trauma and the stigma surrounding it.
    “It's a really hard place to be in.”
    @ 36m 37s
    October 22, 2022
  • The Importance of Gratitude
    Exploring how gratitude can transform perspectives and enhance happiness.
    “The key to gratitude is just being happy with less.”
    @ 46m 48s
    October 22, 2022
  • Lessons from Fiji
    Reflecting on the happiness of Fijian people despite their hardships.
    “They've got absolutely nothing but they're so happy.”
    @ 50m 05s
    October 22, 2022
  • The Importance of Mental Toughness
    You don't just need to be tough; using mental tools can make you tougher.
    “You actually become tougher because you don’t need to rely on just being tough.”
    @ 53m 24s
    October 22, 2022
  • Building a Supportive Environment
    Curating your social media can greatly impact your mental health.
    “You’ve got to have control of who you’re following.”
    @ 59m 42s
    October 22, 2022
  • The Journey of Podcasting
    Creating a podcast is like building a business from scratch, filled with challenges.
    “It’s been a tough hustle this year.”
    @ 01h 01m 23s
    October 22, 2022

Episode Quotes

Key Moments

  • Kane's Farm Fit Movement00:18
  • Worlds Colliding01:53
  • Proud of Achievements10:40
  • Perseverance in Life12:56
  • Excitement of Farming18:27
  • Record Milk Price18:30
  • Stressful Times20:12
  • Turning Point25:16

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

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