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welcome to episode 27 of Runners only
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with dom Harvey on this episode Kane
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Briscoe I wouldn't have picked myself
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sitting here as a farmer talking about
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gratitude or journaling or anything like
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that is it's quite an odd thing Kane is
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a taranaki Dairy Farmer who has gained a
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huge following on social media with his
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farm fit movement that he started in
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2019 in April 2022 he ran a hundred
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kilometers in his gum boots and in the
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process raised over twenty thousand
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dollars for I am hope and now as well as
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being a farmer he's a published author
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with a book called tools for the top
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Paddock you can follow Kane on Instagram
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at farmfit underscore NZ alright let's
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go
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[Music]
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Runners only with dom Harvey and farmfit
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came Briscoe g'day lad how's it going
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mate all right it's going going all
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right going all right Brisco Brisco you
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never buy better how often do you hear
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that uh constantly yeah that was my
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teenage years summed up basically was
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that was it actually how's your mum on
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the air yeah
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it's so not original hey um it's great
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to have you in my house and what is
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going to be the podcast studio
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um I was thinking about it just um as as
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I got you from the front door and
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brought you in here our lives probably
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couldn't be more different in so many
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ways I'm in a in an apartment like a
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couple of hundred meters down the road
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from Sky City you're in a rural taranaki
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yeah yeah it's uh it is uh yeah Two
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Worlds colliding at the moment Don yeah
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it's a pretty um it's always a strange
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strange feeling when I come to Auckland
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actually just seeing so many people in
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one spot
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um and like like We messaged earlier
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it's actually a novelty for my kids to
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see buildings
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it everyone else in auckland's probably
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sick of it but it was pretty pretty
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exciting for them actually yeah I'd
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imagine um yeah other things like it's
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probably quite terrifying for your kids
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being on the motorway in an Uber with
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cars either side of you it's terrifying
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for me
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it does take a while to get used to
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um there's another thing where we are
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like Polar Opposites you and I um you I
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I've started reading your book which
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I've actually got a copy of and you
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haven't even seen yet yes crazy we'll
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get to that soon but in that you talk
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about how growing up as like a preschool
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aged kid uh you love going to your Nano
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and Grandad's farm and when it was time
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to go back home again
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um like you you'd hide from your parents
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because you wanted to stay on the farm
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yeah I had it I had a similar thing I
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had my um Auntie Robin and Uncle John
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they had a dairy farm and I was sent
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there on the school holidays [ __ ]
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hate it every minute
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that's awful despised [ __ ] I've got the
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smell of silage and you're out working
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and I'd never get a good spot on the
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back of the tractor so I was getting
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like cow [ __ ] fling up at me Non-Stop
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terrible and yeah and Auntie Robin she
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um she called me a city slicker I was
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from Palmerston North so it's not really
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you know they were in live in it so
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Palmer's North's not really a city but
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yeah I hated it what was the appeal for
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you uh pretty good question I think it's
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probably I had uh two older brothers
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that were quite a bit older than me so
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they you know when I started from what I
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can remember you know they were um in
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the early teens and and really involved
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in the actual farm work and and I
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idolized them massively so uh you
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probably just wanted to be like them and
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and um my uncle who ran the farm was was
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uh it was a it was a bloody hoot really
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and he made everything fun
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um it never really seemed like hard work
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even though it was
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um he always managed to have a laugh or
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or make a game out or something or teach
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her something so it was it was really
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interesting and yeah just it was
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whatever I can remember whether I was
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three or four years old it's just all I
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ever wanted to do was Drive tractors and
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ride bikes and work with animals and
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endure those
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um those hard jobs on the farm were the
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best like making hay in the summer uh it
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was horrendously difficult but you know
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it was something really
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um
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I don't know just rewarding yeah
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rewarding and Earthly about it you know
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just working with your hands I think and
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and particularly with the land and
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animals it's just something really
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natural about it it's um whether it's in
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the blood or something I don't know but
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yeah it wasn't in your blood obviously
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absolutely not I'm like and I I am a
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city slicker now so Andy Robin was it
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all right and I'm one of these one of
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these people it's like I love meat well
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I don't I want to see it in the
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packaging I I don't want to know where
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is it on the plate absolutely yeah
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that's it that's it so so we've
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discussed um
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um all the things we don't have in
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common um but but we do have a lot of in
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common as well like um we've both got
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the same love of um I suppose running
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and you know physical activity and also
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um yeah we understand how that
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intertwines with mental health yeah in a
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big way yeah definitely and um you know
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it's been obviously a big part of your
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life now and forever since I can
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remember even though I used to hate
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running Sports being a massive you know
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I grew up I started playing rugby at the
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age of 5 live and didn't played every
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season right through until the body
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started giving up in my late 20s and you
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know it's just been a part of my family
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and in a part of my life and
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um
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I guess later on once I couldn't play
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footy running became sort of took over
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as the sport of choice
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um and it's yeah it's been really uh
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it's an interesting Journey when you
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start running you know seriously it's
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not easy for anyone everyone keeps
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saying that I make it look fun and or
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they they they don't find any fun in it
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and I was like it's not really fun that
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often it's just it's just painful and
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frustrating at times but yeah it's a
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cool it's a it's a good way to get to
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know yourself anyway absolutely one
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thing um yeah one thing I don't
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understand about about you and I suppose
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anyone that does like a physical job and
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running is I sort of started running
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um out of necessity because I was doing
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breakfast radio hours and they're
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challenging hours and they take it out
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of here so I figured if I want longevity
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in this radio industry something that's
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going to help help me do this is being
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physically fit yeah so I started running
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but I don't know how after like a long
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day on the farm
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like surely the last thing you want to
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do is any more a physical actor it's a
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physical job I guess is what I'm saying
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yeah yeah and honestly sometimes it is
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the last thing you want to do
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um
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the way I sort of look at it like Dairy
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farming's changed a lot in the last
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probably 15 20 years in what way uh it's
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just less physical it's more mental
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um like if I think back to when I used
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to help my uncle on his farm you know 25
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years ago uh you know we're picking up
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hay bales and and digging post holes you
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know every day was was it was really
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physically demanding every single day
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and he was a really fit fit strong guy
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but when I think about my day now
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uh you know a lot of days a lot of hours
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in the tractor
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um you know we have post post drivers
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mechanical post drivers not too many dig
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posts anymore oh all those gadgets that
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you've got to Field Days exactly yeah
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yeah yeah metal disease they call it
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what disease metal disease what's that
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just people buying metal all right
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tractors and you know gadgets to put on
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the tractor basically but sorry by the
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way you before you get new further I
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know absolutely nothing about farming so
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there's going to be a lot of dumb
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explanations absolutely yeah so yeah
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yeah it's like um people with tech I
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guess you know buying fancy computers
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and gaming and that sort of thing
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Farmers have the same deal uh with
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Machinery sometimes
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um but yeah so it's much more of a
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mental
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um tax now than a physical
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um and I'll sort of look of it like we
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have this winter period well most dairy
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farms have their winter period where we
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go on holiday to Fiji uh we you know
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it's our quietest time of the year we
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spend a bit more time on the couch
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um do less hours and then we're go
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straight straight into the the hardest
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time of the year which was carving and
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you go from you know you might do 50
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hours a week of just cruising around the
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farm you know not working too hard and
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you can go straight into doing 80 90 100
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hours even in the space of a couple of
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weeks so it just changes really quickly
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and that is the time of the year that's
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really physically demanding you know
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picking up calves
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you know manhandling cows if they're
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sick and that sort of thing or pulling
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carbs out when they need help you know
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it is really physically demanding but
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you know just the time that you spend
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outside every day working
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and it's like you know I need to get fit
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for that you know and it's it's
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something that I really found when I
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stopped playing rugby
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um how how important that Fitness was
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and the difference between coming off
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the back of a rugby season Being Fit and
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strong you know
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um
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and then straight into carving I could
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handle it quite easily when I retired
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from rugby and I had my first winter I
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guess
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since I could even remember of um not
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being fit it was really noticeable
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straight away how important it was to be
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fit and strong ready to go so I sort of
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see the fitness I do throughout the year
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is like a bit of a pre-season to be
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honest
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um getting getting ready for carving you
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know so it's the physical demands I
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think it's a funny thing because with
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physical activity the more you do
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actually the more energy you get you
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think you're expelling all this energy
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so you'd be more tired but it doesn't
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actually work that way no it doesn't
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it's like you know if you sit on the
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couch all day you're going to be tired
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at the end of the day too yeah yeah it's
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one of those things you've actually got
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to create your own energy and getting up
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and doing something that you enjoy
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something that's challenging as well
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um I always find you know people when
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the when the challenge for something
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they're passionate about or something
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that gives them purpose that creates a
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whole bunch of energy in here so it's
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important to recognize that and
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understand what what brings you energy
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yeah so right and it seems like you um I
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wanted to ask you something it seems to
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me like you like taking part in events
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I've seen I've seen you do some
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Instagram videos and reels and things
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and some TV appearances and it looks
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like there's a wall of like race numbers
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and medals in the corner of the well
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first of all what room of the house is
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that uh so that was the lounge oh that
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is not great Lounge I thought maybe it's
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a man cave or something how did you get
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that past your wife now that was it was
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actually it was actually a lot of those
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are hers oh are they
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um and and I must clarify a lot of them
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are participation medals not not first
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or seconds or anything of course yeah
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but um that was all I guess around for
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our own mental health I guess
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recognizing and being proud of what
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we've done in the past
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um and and you know recognizing what
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you're capable of
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um so you know a lot of people put their
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sort of like we had all that stuff in
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the draw basically sitting in storage
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and in the cupboard and it was sort of
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like well yeah we should actually you
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know sometimes you just need a reminder
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of what you're capable of yeah and so to
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put them out there on display it wasn't
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it it wasn't a bragging or anything like
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that
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but we don't actually have like heaps of
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friends and stuff around we're not sort
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of a little bit humidity I guess you
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could say but
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um you know it was it was all about us
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and even for our kids
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um you know we've put them in a few 5K
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fun runs and that sort of thing and they
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get to put their race number off on
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alone and they'll quite often go over
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and look at it or get their metal down
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and put it around their neck and it's
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just something to be proud of I think
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and and not be ashamed of or you know
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we've got that tall tall poppy syndrome
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in New Zealand in a big way yeah we
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don't like to brag and it's it's it's
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just seeing it as as just being proud of
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what you've achieved and and recognizing
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what you've been through in the past and
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that's what it was for us was was just
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understanding you know
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um you know remembering those tough
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times you know I remember the first time
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we did uh waitomo Trail race which was
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36 case uh you know the amount of times
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we wanted to quit but push through and
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finish you know it's important to
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remember that that you can do it that's
00:12:08
a really cool thing yeah that really is
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I think it's a real healthy way of
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looking at it as well there's probably a
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lot of people listening to this right
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now that take part in events and stuff
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and go okay yeah yeah I've got mine in a
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drawer or in a box somewhere yeah or
00:12:20
whatever it may be that's cool and what
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you were saying about the waitomo race
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about how you want to quit and but you
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just keep going put one foot in front of
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each other I feel like there's like
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metaphors between like hard events like
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that and the challenges of day-to-day
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life totally totally and it wasn't
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actually running's probably the sort of
00:12:37
that endurance type running was
00:12:39
um when I really recognized the
00:12:41
parallels between between your sport and
00:12:44
your real life because of you know some
00:12:46
days it is it's it's just being able to
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put that one foot in front of the other
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and and to push through and I guess you
00:12:53
know understand that there is a Finish
00:12:54
Line and that that tough time doesn't
00:12:56
last forever I think that's really
00:12:57
important because when you're in the
00:12:58
moment it feels like you know it's never
00:13:01
going to improve yeah you know when
00:13:02
you're in a [ __ ] storm it just feels
00:13:04
like that [ __ ] storm is going to last
00:13:05
forever but there's always a Finish Line
00:13:06
or um I like to think of it in boxing
00:13:09
terms as well as you know the round
00:13:11
always ends you know there's there's
00:13:13
always going to be a a moment where that
00:13:15
storm clears and yeah
00:13:17
um just don't throw in the [ __ ] towel
00:13:19
don't throw in the tail man it's it's
00:13:20
being able to push through that
00:13:22
adversity a bit and just hang on you
00:13:24
know with even if you're even if you
00:13:26
can't walk it's it's just stay in the
00:13:29
race you know you can you can sit down
00:13:30
and have a breather and reassess and and
00:13:33
um well you I'm sure you've done it in
00:13:35
the past you you have a gel or something
00:13:37
or a bit of food or a bit of Tailwind or
00:13:39
something and you know in five minutes
00:13:41
you feel just that little bit better and
00:13:43
it gives you that spark to keep going so
00:13:45
it's finding those things in life and
00:13:46
the transfer of skills between sport
00:13:50
um to real life is has been really
00:13:52
important for me in in keeping on going
00:13:54
oh for who left their phone on Bloody
00:13:58
Bloody Towny bloody Towny hey
00:14:01
oh Stephen from today
00:14:04
used to call us on the radio show quite
00:14:06
a bit I recognize that name all right
00:14:07
Hey Stephen I'm just in the middle of
00:14:09
doing a podcast I'll call you back later
00:14:10
mate
00:14:11
okay because I just letting you know
00:14:12
that um times have been changed
00:14:15
what
00:14:18
changed now so
00:14:20
oh when you're coming to Auckland for
00:14:22
the basketball
00:14:23
okay all right well we'll talk about it
00:14:25
later
00:14:25
okay okay bye bye
00:14:28
it's gold
00:14:29
[Laughter]
00:14:32
all right okay Kane Briscoe are you
00:14:37
ready to see the finished version of
00:14:38
your book for the first time in your
00:14:40
life yeah bring it on mate I'm a bit
00:14:41
nervy
00:14:43
here you go tools from the top haddock
00:14:45
here it is
00:14:47
wow that's um
00:14:50
I just wouldn't have ever dreamed of
00:14:53
writing a book and here it is
00:14:56
it's unbelievable actually I don't know
00:14:58
it's quite overwhelming hey it's just
00:15:00
um I've always seen myself as a very
00:15:02
very average person and to um he had to
00:15:07
hold my own bloody book on my hand or
00:15:08
something quite
00:15:11
all right I'm lost for words a little
00:15:12
bit it's got to go in the corner of the
00:15:14
lounge by the race numbers I think we
00:15:17
might have to put one coffee there I
00:15:19
wouldn't want to see a sticker in there
00:15:20
okay all right okay so how does a how
00:15:23
does a kid from taranaki that ends up
00:15:25
just being a farmer end up in a position
00:15:26
where you have a book publisher reaching
00:15:28
out to you saying hey you should write a
00:15:30
book how does this happen
00:15:32
[Applause]
00:15:37
so how did Farm come about by the way
00:15:40
for anyone that is um listening to this
00:15:42
podcast that that has no clue what farm
00:15:44
fit is how how would you describe it
00:15:46
um
00:15:47
I've still actually struggle to describe
00:15:49
it so I basically I'll I'll tell you I
00:15:52
guess the beginnings of it was
00:15:54
um I'd been through my own challenges
00:15:56
and we'll probably we'll probably come
00:15:57
back to this but been through my own
00:15:59
challenges mentally on uh with farming
00:16:01
and got myself into a pretty pretty bad
00:16:04
place I guess and and really struggled
00:16:05
for a couple of years
00:16:07
um but what what helped dragged me out
00:16:09
of that was was sport basically got
00:16:12
myself right sort of got the farm going
00:16:15
you know functioning right and then sort
00:16:17
of looked around me and I thought
00:16:19
um well there were there were a lot of
00:16:21
reasons but I looked around me and I
00:16:22
thought well you know I'm a pretty I
00:16:24
thought I was a pretty mentally tough
00:16:26
strong
00:16:28
um you know
00:16:29
typical kiwi farmer really
00:16:31
and I thought sure if I can go through
00:16:34
that and find myself in that sort of
00:16:36
place and and find a way to get out of
00:16:38
it surely I can I can help pass that on
00:16:41
to other people
00:16:42
and that was really the Genesis of of um
00:16:45
Farm Fitness it just started uh as me
00:16:48
inviting the neighbors around basically
00:16:50
to come and do like a boot camp type
00:16:52
session like flipping tractor tires and
00:16:54
you know it started out on just my
00:16:56
driveway mate I um I had a few skipping
00:16:58
ropes and some boxing gear
00:17:00
um and I brought a few few sandbags and
00:17:02
and a couple of little things really
00:17:04
nothing much in in yeah just just
00:17:07
started doing you know because I had a
00:17:09
bit of experience with boxing and
00:17:10
running obviously so I knew a bit about
00:17:12
Fitness I'm in rugby but yeah just I
00:17:15
honestly I thought two young fellas
00:17:17
might turn up they wanted to get a bit
00:17:18
fitter for rugby and and I had I think
00:17:20
six for the first session and after a
00:17:22
couple of weeks I'd sort of 10 or 12
00:17:24
people of you know just such a diverse
00:17:26
range we had um you know 18 year old
00:17:28
guys up to people and you know farmers
00:17:30
in their 50s and women and kids and
00:17:33
teenagers so it all got quite serious
00:17:35
quite quickly more than what I ever
00:17:37
thought and um probably after about some
00:17:39
and off the top of my head I think we
00:17:41
were around about 400 000 mortgage
00:17:44
something like that or just over to buy
00:17:46
everything
00:17:48
um which doesn't seem that big when you
00:17:50
look at house prices these days
00:17:53
I'd pretty recently returned from an OE
00:17:56
so I'd only been I'd only actually been
00:17:57
farming Dairy farming for three years
00:18:00
when I got that job so I don't have
00:18:02
heaps of money we did we were actually
00:18:03
uh Outside The Lending criteria for the
00:18:06
bank so there's quite a the but I guess
00:18:09
the the outlook for dairy farming was
00:18:10
really good then so they're pretty easy
00:18:13
to give money so there was quite a lot
00:18:15
of financial pressure on me
00:18:17
um I've not long met my now wife Nicole
00:18:22
um and yeah so got into this job owning
00:18:25
cows a lot of responsibility but but a
00:18:27
lot of excitement
00:18:28
um and we my first season was the record
00:18:30
milk price of 8.40
00:18:33
which was
00:18:34
2013. and so but you know
00:18:37
it was pretty exciting because I was
00:18:39
like money was just flowing in things
00:18:42
were good
00:18:43
um the hard part I was Finding was the
00:18:46
farm I'd moved on to was a little bit
00:18:49
once I run down but there are a lot of
00:18:51
problems there okay
00:18:52
um so that created quite a bit of stress
00:18:54
and I'm an absolute perfectionist so the
00:18:57
Farms I'd worked on previously were were
00:18:59
really really nice Farms well everything
00:19:02
was well done and I like to have you
00:19:04
know all my all my eyes dotted and
00:19:06
teased cross and I I was just finding in
00:19:09
that first year that there were a lot of
00:19:10
problems to fix that I couldn't quite
00:19:12
figure out
00:19:14
um but everything was all good because
00:19:15
we were making a lot of money at 8.40 a
00:19:17
kilo milk solid so um things were really
00:19:20
positive but at the end of that season
00:19:22
um I just had we just had our first
00:19:24
child which added a I guess another
00:19:26
element becoming a dad
00:19:29
um and then the payout decided to uh
00:19:32
slip away under our feet basically and
00:19:34
over the course of 18 months it dropped
00:19:36
from
00:19:38
8.40 down to 3.90 I think so our income
00:19:41
I kept more than half is this a cyclical
00:19:45
thing in in farming it is about yeah but
00:19:47
that was really extreme right um right
00:19:49
that was a super extreme example and
00:19:52
note like no one had even I think the
00:19:55
the highest milk price before that 8.40
00:19:57
was like seven dollars or seven dollars
00:19:59
it was a record high and then they
00:20:02
hadn't seen uh price of 3.90 for
00:20:04
probably 10 years
00:20:06
um and you know the cost of the price of
00:20:07
everything goes up over time so it was a
00:20:09
it was a it was a hugely
00:20:12
um hugely stressful time you know I did
00:20:15
so many bloody budgets and all of them
00:20:17
just came out [ __ ] out so I ended up
00:20:19
stop you know I was everything was in
00:20:20
the red there's nothing nothing really
00:20:22
we could do
00:20:24
um and it was at that time I decided to
00:20:26
quit playing rugby
00:20:28
um I wanted to spend more time with my
00:20:30
family and and focus more on the farm
00:20:32
and and just sort of bring everything in
00:20:34
and and do the bare necessities and it
00:20:37
was great like um
00:20:39
it was great spent not having to play
00:20:41
rugby and
00:20:42
um you know not waking up on Sunday with
00:20:44
a sore body and a hangover
00:20:47
um but you know I I got myself unfit I
00:20:49
didn't have a you know I wasn't
00:20:51
connecting with my mates at footy
00:20:53
anymore so I was sort of isolated myself
00:20:55
yeah you lose that Network I guess you
00:20:57
did yeah yeah I played it you know I
00:20:59
played for that club for a long time and
00:21:01
and you know I was a senior player in
00:21:02
that club at the time and that was
00:21:05
actually quite hard to I probably didn't
00:21:06
realize how much I needed that you know
00:21:09
just needed that escape off the farm and
00:21:12
um it was less about the rugby really
00:21:13
and just more about the community
00:21:15
absolutely I think yeah probably a big
00:21:17
reason I played rugby was for the after
00:21:19
match really and you know that's that
00:21:21
might sound bad but you know oh no no I
00:21:23
feel like I feel like that's probably
00:21:24
what keeps a lot of um like old dogs
00:21:26
that aren't really playing at a super
00:21:27
competitive yeah in the game yeah like
00:21:29
I'm a really competitive person I love
00:21:31
the footy but you know um you know
00:21:34
having a good time with the boys
00:21:35
afterwards and and you know getting a
00:21:37
bit of male bonding you know it was it's
00:21:39
a pretty important thing for guys I
00:21:41
think
00:21:42
um so I probably didn't realize how much
00:21:44
that affected me and and just yeah when
00:21:47
I think back that that lack of Fitness I
00:21:49
remember
00:21:50
um about a week into carving
00:21:52
um so this was the first time I've been
00:21:54
unfit starting carving and I remember a
00:21:57
weekend I was like oh [ __ ] up here
00:21:59
um just I could just like at the end of
00:22:02
the day I was just buggered and I'd
00:22:04
never felt that before you know
00:22:06
especially right at the start and I sort
00:22:09
of sorted myself then I wouldn't would
00:22:11
never be unfit for carving again and
00:22:13
from that it just sort of snowboard man
00:22:16
I just you know fatigued set in real
00:22:18
early started making poor decisions on
00:22:20
the farm the stress of of being a new
00:22:23
dad and in the financials and like I was
00:22:26
just bleeding money out of every orifice
00:22:27
you know I've worked out that season I
00:22:30
think uh roughly every hour I was doing
00:22:33
I was paying myself minus six bucks an
00:22:35
hour you know it was just wow it was
00:22:37
just ridiculous so
00:22:39
um and I just I just lost the passion
00:22:40
for farming too um I remember it I'm not
00:22:43
surprised yeah it's I distinctly
00:22:45
remember
00:22:46
um saying to myself you know like I
00:22:48
asked
00:22:50
I started blaming other people
00:22:51
um like I blamed the bank for giving me
00:22:53
the loan I blame my boss for giving me
00:22:55
the job and I sort of thought to myself
00:22:58
if someone could just walk in and just
00:23:00
take my cows off me take the mortgage
00:23:02
and I'd just walk away with a suitcase
00:23:05
full of clothes I'd be happier you know
00:23:07
and that was from the kid that grew up
00:23:10
just you know not wanting to leave the
00:23:12
farm to get to that point I was like
00:23:13
damn you know this is yeah this is not
00:23:16
good yeah I suppose that
00:23:18
um I'm not lashing out mentality but
00:23:19
that blame mentality I suppose that's
00:23:21
human instinct like it's it is man you
00:23:24
see it everywhere yeah and it wasn't
00:23:25
actually until
00:23:27
um you know I probably got myself into a
00:23:28
real [ __ ] place where it was just it was
00:23:31
so hard to get up in the morning and go
00:23:32
and milk the cows and it was only the
00:23:34
fact really that
00:23:36
um probably two things I had uh had my
00:23:38
kids
00:23:39
um that you know needed food on the
00:23:41
table and the responsibility I felt
00:23:44
towards my cows to look after them they
00:23:46
were probably the only two things that
00:23:48
kept me going at that point
00:23:50
um and it wasn't actually I came I
00:23:52
remember came you know I'd probably be
00:23:54
in this place for you know maybe a year
00:23:56
of of just hating farming and hating my
00:24:00
life and blaming other people and when
00:24:01
you were when you were like that what
00:24:03
were you like as um as a husband and a
00:24:04
dad I'm pretty sure yes yeah were you
00:24:06
yeah for a while they were funny you
00:24:09
generally save your worst behavior for
00:24:10
those people there yeah I think I wasn't
00:24:13
a bad dad but I think I definitely took
00:24:15
it out on my wife you know you're
00:24:16
turning like a lot of it came out as
00:24:18
anger
00:24:19
um so you know pretty short I've got
00:24:22
I've generally got a really long fuse
00:24:24
um but but probably turned quite short
00:24:26
and it's frustration hey because I
00:24:28
blamed her as well like just for stupid
00:24:31
[ __ ] you know I was just blaming
00:24:32
everyone else except for myself and it
00:24:33
wasn't well I came home one day after
00:24:36
about a year year of this and I had a
00:24:38
[ __ ] in a moment at the wife about
00:24:40
something about farming you know and she
00:24:43
turned around at the time I was
00:24:46
absolutely ropable with her but she just
00:24:47
said well you chose this and I yeah it
00:24:52
hurt and her her cut deep I tell you
00:24:56
um and you know there are a few words
00:24:57
were exchanged probably after that from
00:24:59
what I remember it didn't go down well
00:25:01
but um you know I I went away and that
00:25:05
probably sat with me for a for a few
00:25:07
weeks and I probably had to actually man
00:25:10
up and and accept
00:25:12
that she was Bloody right about that and
00:25:14
that that was a really big turning point
00:25:16
I think was to that acceptance that you
00:25:19
know I applied for the bank loan I
00:25:21
applied for the job you know I wanted to
00:25:23
be here and and it I was exactly where I
00:25:26
put myself that's harder because I mean
00:25:27
things like the pay the milk payout
00:25:29
there's things like that that are
00:25:30
variables that are completely out of
00:25:32
your control and there's nothing you can
00:25:33
do about that but yeah this is um um a
00:25:35
Navy Seals thing that I got from the
00:25:37
David Goggins book yeah it's like just
00:25:39
owning as much [ __ ] as what you can yeah
00:25:41
and it's the best place to be in like
00:25:43
you can you can blame anyone you want
00:25:45
but it's not going to change the
00:25:46
situation is it exactly and and it was
00:25:48
really that moment of acceptance that I
00:25:50
I became quite self-aware of of where I
00:25:53
actually was in my life and
00:25:56
um you know the the sort of mental state
00:25:57
I was in and and yeah said about owning
00:26:00
it I guess and and it then became like
00:26:02
right what am I going to do about it
00:26:05
um and I actually I turned back to you
00:26:08
know something that had helped me when I
00:26:10
was uh you know coming out of my teenage
00:26:11
years and that was boxing you know
00:26:13
actually uh
00:26:15
I just said to the Nicole I just I've
00:26:18
got a I've got to get this out of me you
00:26:20
know I was still really angry about the
00:26:22
situation but I was like I need to get
00:26:24
off Farm I need to I know I had a niche
00:26:27
I guess that needed to be scratched so I
00:26:28
ended up
00:26:29
um yeah starting starting to train for a
00:26:32
boxing fight again and
00:26:33
um as difficult as it was I think I had
00:26:35
to drive an hour up to New Plymouth to a
00:26:37
boxing gym so I was doing that once a
00:26:39
week in training most nights of the week
00:26:42
but you know instantly it started
00:26:44
getting me fit again and and you know I
00:26:47
lost
00:26:47
I think I'd put on 10 kilos in that
00:26:49
winter so I got back to I think 81 kilos
00:26:54
um you know got lean in Maine and
00:26:55
started feeling good about myself and
00:26:58
um the way I sort of explain it is like
00:27:01
I'd you know finish work at like 5 30 in
00:27:04
the afternoon after starting at 4am and
00:27:07
I'd be excited to get into the into my
00:27:09
Ute and drive for an hour to New
00:27:10
Plymouth and go and punch people in the
00:27:11
face and but what I found was that that
00:27:15
two hour training I didn't think about
00:27:16
the farm once and that was literally the
00:27:19
only time I could shut off was was when
00:27:21
I was training because is that a nature
00:27:23
of the sport of boxing that you have to
00:27:24
be in the moment yeah you get punched in
00:27:26
the face
00:27:28
yeah it was it was it was probably you
00:27:31
know I think probably when you're like
00:27:32
playing rugby in that you can there's a
00:27:34
team around you can still sort of be
00:27:36
away with the fairies of it and hide in
00:27:38
the team yeah so to speak but um you
00:27:40
know boxing when you're when you're
00:27:42
sparring or or just the training so
00:27:45
intense that you have to be in that
00:27:46
moment and giving it 110 and I think
00:27:49
there was it was like the right medicine
00:27:51
I needed at that time to to switch off
00:27:54
and I'd find even you know even I'd come
00:27:56
back late at night buggered
00:27:58
I'd actually wake up feeling a bit
00:28:00
refreshed like I'd mentally just had a
00:28:02
break
00:28:03
um because you know
00:28:05
the hardest thing about farming is it's
00:28:06
just 24 hours a day like you wake up in
00:28:08
the middle of the night thinking about
00:28:09
it and first thing in the morning you're
00:28:11
thinking about care yeah just think
00:28:12
about the jobs you got through the next
00:28:13
day yeah you know there's been there's
00:28:15
been times
00:28:17
um
00:28:18
when we had like a you know you have a
00:28:20
really wet patch uh in the spring like
00:28:22
we had we had one a couple of years
00:28:24
around this time actually and
00:28:27
like it just rained every freaking day
00:28:29
and it just makes life very difficult to
00:28:32
farm and you know you'd wake up and
00:28:33
you'd hear the rain and it would just be
00:28:35
like might as well have been bloody
00:28:37
gunfire you know it's just it was
00:28:39
horrible you know yes just you just know
00:28:41
that your day is going to be hard and
00:28:43
[ __ ] and it's going to be wet again and
00:28:46
um yeah you're just you're just worrying
00:28:48
constantly constant worry about your
00:28:50
animals and in the jobs that need to be
00:28:52
done and not enough time to do them and
00:28:54
uh you know you add Financial pressure
00:28:56
onto that or relationship pressure and
00:28:58
it's quite overwhelming and Once the
00:29:01
mind starts
00:29:02
Wheeling away is hard to bloody stop it
00:29:04
it really is yeah yeah it's easier said
00:29:07
than done people say to switch off so
00:29:08
you you never so it was just unboxing
00:29:10
for you you never you never saw any
00:29:12
professional help you never got any
00:29:13
counseling you never went to a doctor no
00:29:15
it was it was all it's just not the done
00:29:17
thing in in rural communities it was
00:29:20
yeah yeah that was we're talking
00:29:21
probably five or six years ago at the
00:29:24
worst of it and it was yeah it was
00:29:25
there's still a massive uh stigma around
00:29:27
it
00:29:28
um but I mean if you can if you can work
00:29:30
through the stuff on your own then
00:29:32
that's fine I'll sort of see it as a
00:29:34
it's it's this whole thing started a
00:29:36
journey for me and you know a lot of the
00:29:38
the counseling of of
00:29:40
um received in the last 12 months has
00:29:42
actually been going back through past
00:29:43
[ __ ] you know and unraveling that fully
00:29:46
and because you don't realize how some
00:29:48
of those early things in life affect
00:29:50
your decision making 20 years from now
00:29:52
on
00:29:53
um you know whatever whatever things you
00:29:55
go through in life
00:29:57
they have a really big impact in it
00:29:59
you're not really aware of them I don't
00:30:00
think until you actually go back you
00:30:03
know particularly with a professional
00:30:05
and sort of unpacket a bit you touch
00:30:07
upon this in your book you want to talk
00:30:09
about this a little bit now okay yeah
00:30:10
because one open book what you're
00:30:12
talking about is um very very traumatic
00:30:15
that happened very early in your life so
00:30:17
I'm not surprised that this is one of
00:30:19
those things that that came back and
00:30:20
read its head um it was uh um like
00:30:23
sexual abuse how old were you uh I was
00:30:26
around about nine how old was the the
00:30:27
older kid uh he was he was a teenager so
00:30:30
14-15 I think right right yeah and
00:30:33
that's been on for like half a year or
00:30:34
something yeah yeah it was over an
00:30:36
extended period happened you know there
00:30:37
are a few incidents here
00:30:39
um and it's the one you know I
00:30:43
I handled hard for a long time about
00:30:45
putting this in the book
00:30:47
um just because there's a lot of people
00:30:48
that don't know about it
00:30:50
um he's in my friends family and friends
00:30:53
yeah yeah there's not a lot of people
00:30:54
that know about it at all so it was
00:30:56
quite a hard thing to put in there but
00:30:58
um I've actually
00:31:00
I've actually talked to other males with
00:31:02
with similar experiences and it's like I
00:31:05
think I'll put her in the book but I
00:31:06
thought I was like one in a billion you
00:31:08
know that I was the only kid that this
00:31:10
ever happened to but um yeah I think I
00:31:13
read a stat not long ago that it's like
00:31:14
one in seven males will suffer some form
00:31:17
of sexual abuse in their life and you
00:31:19
know females is like one and three or
00:31:21
something like that is it's
00:31:23
far too common so
00:31:25
um I wanted to put it in there because I
00:31:28
felt so alone for so many years
00:31:30
um you know I didn't tell anyone until I
00:31:32
was probably
00:31:34
18 19 I think there's a no one no one
00:31:36
yeah yeah right just like guilt and
00:31:39
shame or yeah yeah I thought it was my
00:31:41
fault for a long time
00:31:43
um you know I I felt I felt a lot of
00:31:46
Shame about letting that happen to me um
00:31:49
I guess I grew up in how do you mean
00:31:50
like not fighting back yeah oh come on
00:31:52
he was a he was a [ __ ] teenager yeah
00:31:55
but like I you know I I don't want to
00:31:58
say anything bad about my brothers
00:31:59
because they're awesome but you know I
00:32:01
had two really tough bigger strong
00:32:04
brothers that I idolized and I was like
00:32:06
that'd be so ashamed that I didn't you
00:32:09
know
00:32:13
the role models I had I guess you know
00:32:15
my uncle and the farm is is a typical
00:32:18
tough stoic kiwi male and
00:32:21
um you know when I when I when I think
00:32:24
about it it was it was definitely a
00:32:25
shame about
00:32:27
letting that happen and I think back now
00:32:29
to that kid and I often um blamed myself
00:32:33
for it but I judged it with with the
00:32:36
knowledge I had now
00:32:38
um and I guess I I probably don't know I
00:32:41
didn't even think about it for a long
00:32:42
time or didn't want to think about it
00:32:43
for a lot of those reasons but it wasn't
00:32:46
probably until I
00:32:48
um started boxing at the age of 18 that
00:32:50
I was able to go back to what I guess
00:32:53
and then use it as a bit of yeah you're
00:32:55
talking you're talking about this in
00:32:56
your book you say part of the reason you
00:32:57
took up boxing was so that if you ever
00:32:59
like passed let's go in the store oh
00:33:00
totally you better not knock his lights
00:33:01
yeah because that that was that thing of
00:33:03
of I felt so [ __ ] about not fighting it
00:33:06
harder you know and and you know that
00:33:09
was there was a lot of the shame in the
00:33:11
guilt and
00:33:12
um yeah like I said I
00:33:14
I've heard it from other you know
00:33:16
victims before as they feel like it's
00:33:18
their fault
00:33:19
um and it's you know I think back now
00:33:21
and I think how [ __ ] stupid is that
00:33:23
but at the time you know as a kid you
00:33:26
just can't process like I didn't even
00:33:28
know what was happening really I didn't
00:33:29
know if it was how bad it was or how
00:33:31
wrong it was
00:33:32
um it's really hard to process at that
00:33:35
age
00:33:35
um yeah probably a little bit different
00:33:37
if you if you get to it I guess three or
00:33:39
four years older when you're a bit
00:33:40
mature you can understand things a bit
00:33:42
more but you know I think about my
00:33:44
daughter now she's eight so I was you
00:33:46
know just a little bit older than her
00:33:47
age yeah it's um you know God
00:33:51
I hate to think what I'd do to someone
00:33:52
here if you found that out you know but
00:33:55
I just think of of her and I'm just like
00:33:57
she's no way she could fight back
00:33:58
against
00:33:59
someone even a boy yeah
00:34:03
um so yeah it's it's silly
00:34:06
but it's just how the mind works and so
00:34:08
I wanted to put it in there just to um
00:34:11
you know so someone else might read it
00:34:13
that's that's been through something so
00:34:15
they don't feel alone I guess and and
00:34:17
know that it's
00:34:18
it's not the end of their life or not
00:34:20
the end of their their life as they know
00:34:23
that they can use it as a positive I
00:34:25
guess is you know because it's it's
00:34:28
it's hard but it's it's a part of who I
00:34:31
am now and I wouldn't have the courage
00:34:33
to do the things that I've done without
00:34:35
having gone through that either in a in
00:34:37
a strange way it's um
00:34:40
yeah I like to think that it's it's made
00:34:42
me something more rather than taking
00:34:44
everything away from me and the um the
00:34:47
um the perpetrator he's going to read
00:34:49
this right he's definitely going to read
00:34:51
it probably yeah like he surely he he
00:34:54
wakes up every day and thinks is this
00:34:56
the day there's going to be a knock at
00:34:57
the door yeah and I've often thought
00:34:59
about it I'm pretty tempted but I know
00:35:02
that it's I mean you're talking the book
00:35:04
about your reasons for not for not going
00:35:06
to the place and not going through but
00:35:08
Isn't it nice to know that even if you
00:35:10
don't do anything about it he's you've
00:35:13
let go of the secret which was no part
00:35:14
of your own he's still got this secret
00:35:16
and he every time the phone rings or the
00:35:19
door knocks absolutely and it's not
00:35:21
something that I realized until I was
00:35:22
older that you know he's got to live
00:35:24
with it as well
00:35:25
um you know I've I've tried to turn it
00:35:27
into something positive
00:35:30
um I can't imagine there's any way that
00:35:31
he can you know and he's got a you know
00:35:34
whether he regrets it or not he's got to
00:35:36
live with that for the rest of his life
00:35:37
and
00:35:38
um yes the strangers one day I'll knock
00:35:39
on the store maybe he might listen to
00:35:42
his podcast and just get the sweet stuff
00:35:44
but you know it's quite likely that one
00:35:47
I've actually dreaded it you know
00:35:49
crossing paths you know New Zealand's a
00:35:50
small place um crossing paths with them
00:35:52
you know just Hey Hey Howard uh
00:35:55
how do you think you'd be like for a
00:35:58
freeze or I probably would to be honest
00:36:00
yeah yeah you don't know as confident as
00:36:03
I am now
00:36:04
um yeah it would be quite a
00:36:06
quite an awkward thing I I'm pretty
00:36:09
restrained but I think I would
00:36:12
I think I'd definitely say something
00:36:14
um
00:36:16
yeah
00:36:17
who knows and you'd get away with giving
00:36:19
him a hiding wouldn't you what's he
00:36:20
gonna do go to the police
00:36:23
you know but you know that was one of
00:36:26
the reasons why I didn't go to the
00:36:27
police because it's my word against his
00:36:28
you know and it's yeah I totally
00:36:30
understand
00:36:31
um you know whether whether people do
00:36:33
report these things or don't I
00:36:35
understand both sides of the coin you
00:36:37
know it's a really hard place to be in
00:36:39
and really hard to really hard to go
00:36:42
through I guess that process of of
00:36:43
dragging it through court and airing
00:36:46
your secrets in in a way that's out of
00:36:48
your control
00:36:49
um I guess you know with putting it in
00:36:51
the book it isn't my control I've told
00:36:53
the parts of it that I want to so I can
00:36:55
I can control my my story around that to
00:36:58
a point I guess I still walk into rooms
00:37:01
um particularly around men in in my like
00:37:04
screen everyone you know because I'm
00:37:07
Sarah just subconsciously yeah it's just
00:37:10
I'm looking for who's the threat you
00:37:12
know
00:37:13
um and that's something I've done ever
00:37:15
since is is just you know you very very
00:37:18
you get really good I guess of picking
00:37:20
up a Vibe or or dodgy people or or
00:37:23
suspicious sort of characters you just
00:37:26
get really good at
00:37:27
just screening people for that and um
00:37:30
you know that's just one of the
00:37:31
consequences of having having uh
00:37:33
something taken out of your control like
00:37:34
that I suppose This was um this was
00:37:37
always going to come to a head if it
00:37:38
wasn't the milk payout and financial
00:37:40
stress on the farm it was always gonna
00:37:41
it was always going to realize it yeah
00:37:44
and I I think like growing going through
00:37:46
my um once I'd sort of discovered boxing
00:37:49
as an 18 year old and and I thought I'd
00:37:51
sort of deal dealt with a lot of things
00:37:53
and created a lot of toughness and
00:37:55
resilience and all those things that we
00:37:57
need in life I next never actually
00:38:00
thought I would get to a bad place
00:38:03
um as naive as that may sound to a lot
00:38:05
of people it's just
00:38:06
I think that's pretty common for for a
00:38:09
lot of people is you know I was a fairly
00:38:11
happy sort of a chap for most of for the
00:38:13
most part
00:38:15
um
00:38:16
but yeah I never thought I'd get to that
00:38:18
place and and to actually get the right
00:38:20
realization that you are there is is a
00:38:23
pretty big wake-up call that it can
00:38:24
literally happen to anyone and you know
00:38:26
the more the more people you know it's
00:38:28
great that you've had so many sports
00:38:30
stars on there people that you look up
00:38:32
to that that think never deal with this
00:38:34
stuff it's so important to for them to
00:38:36
actually tell their story and
00:38:38
um so empowering for a lot of people too
00:38:40
yeah so I mean uh what I've been through
00:38:43
is um
00:38:44
absolutely nothing compared to to what
00:38:46
you went through as a nine-year-old boy
00:38:48
but I thought I got through and skated
00:38:50
as well but then um there's just a bunch
00:38:52
of [ __ ] I went through like a we had a
00:38:53
family adoption that turned pretty bad
00:38:55
and yeah relationship broke up and years
00:38:57
and years of fertility treatment and
00:38:59
stuff and um I suppose I just didn't
00:39:01
deal with it it was probably like oh
00:39:02
well onwards and outwards yeah you know
00:39:04
what's next and then um if you don't
00:39:07
address the stuff eventually it's gonna
00:39:08
comes back to bite it does it does
00:39:11
things and but you know everyone's
00:39:13
everyone's um story is their own and and
00:39:16
your trauma is is all you know you know
00:39:19
like I don't expect other people to I
00:39:21
don't want sympathy and and poor you
00:39:23
sort of thing from from putting that in
00:39:25
the book
00:39:27
um and I don't want anyone to think that
00:39:28
that their trauma is or you know
00:39:30
challenges are not worthy or something
00:39:34
because you only know what you know and
00:39:35
you've only been through what you've
00:39:36
been through so but you know it is you
00:39:39
know if I could put a message out there
00:39:41
particularly to the fellas is he
00:39:42
actually got to deal with the [ __ ] you
00:39:44
know when
00:39:45
otherwise it does come back and buy you
00:39:47
know all those things add up over time
00:39:49
hey you know um one little thing here
00:39:51
and one little thing there they all just
00:39:53
pile on top of you and uh sooner or
00:39:55
later you're carrying the weight of the
00:39:56
world and you can only do that for so
00:39:58
long yeah yeah yeah yeah I I like to use
00:40:00
it and I don't know if my analogies are
00:40:01
any good or not but it's like having a
00:40:04
workout then getting your sweaty gym
00:40:06
gear and checking it in a bag and
00:40:07
putting in the boot of your car and then
00:40:09
getting more Gym gear checking on that
00:40:10
yeah eventually like the smell is only
00:40:13
going to get worse and worse and you're
00:40:14
going to need to start growing some
00:40:15
funky stuff yeah you're gonna need to
00:40:16
deal with it one day yeah yeah
00:40:18
absolutely yeah man but you've been
00:40:20
through some stuff and we when you when
00:40:22
you came here
00:40:23
um your wife and your two kids were very
00:40:25
tired because you've just had a flight
00:40:26
from Fiji
00:40:28
um they went for a walk like now that
00:40:30
you're you're a dad and you've got a son
00:40:32
and a daughter do you like do you kind
00:40:35
of wish you told your own parents at the
00:40:37
time what was going on oh yeah
00:40:38
absolutely and
00:40:40
um
00:40:41
you know I I got to a point I guess
00:40:43
where I felt like I didn't want to tell
00:40:46
them because I'm I now know
00:40:49
um
00:40:49
as a parent how you would feel getting
00:40:51
told that you know
00:40:53
20 years down the track or whatever it
00:40:54
was uh so you just want to you wanna you
00:40:57
just want to protect your kids right
00:40:58
absolutely so it's it's a you know I can
00:41:01
just picture one of my kids come in
00:41:03
saying that I'd be absolutely
00:41:04
heartbroken and Furious and you know
00:41:07
because that's your job you know to
00:41:08
protect them but you know it's it's
00:41:10
absolutely not their fault you know and
00:41:12
that's that's the hard thing to
00:41:13
understand as a parent they they had no
00:41:16
um
00:41:16
control over that and it was yeah oh if
00:41:19
I could go back in time I would I would
00:41:22
but it was just it was just too much too
00:41:25
much guilt and shame to do it at the
00:41:27
time and
00:41:29
um it's one of those things that's sort
00:41:30
of sad but true but
00:41:32
I think
00:41:34
from the from the victims that I've
00:41:36
talked to
00:41:37
um you know we all we'll go through that
00:41:40
same same feeling and it's you know you
00:41:42
think back at him and you think it's
00:41:43
it's so unjustified so unjustified to
00:41:46
feel like not completely it makes no
00:41:48
sense absolutely no sense and I I can't
00:41:51
figure out for the life of us why our
00:41:52
brain does that and you know some of it
00:41:54
must be around that stigma of of
00:41:56
um you know being tough enough or or
00:41:58
whatever it is particularly if I think
00:42:00
for males is is
00:42:03
um like we said earlier not fighting
00:42:05
back or not being able to protect
00:42:06
yourself I think was a big thing and
00:42:07
that's like I absolutely idolized Mike
00:42:10
Tyson because I wanted that
00:42:12
you know to to have that Persona of
00:42:15
being able to protect myself and yeah
00:42:17
he's the baddest man on the planet he's
00:42:18
the best man on the planet and I wanted
00:42:20
to be that because then no one would you
00:42:21
know even try you know that was that was
00:42:23
a big part of it and uh even with that
00:42:25
list no one's teasing Mike Tyson you'd
00:42:28
be afraid of man too wouldn't you
00:42:29
um so yes it's it's interesting you know
00:42:33
that that point in life is as [ __ ] as it
00:42:35
was it's it's led me down a positive
00:42:37
path and I'm I'm thankful that I found
00:42:40
uh uh really thankful that I found an
00:42:42
outlet to express it in a positive way
00:42:46
um you know if you if you look through
00:42:48
you know people that have had addictions
00:42:50
in life a lot of it stems from a trauma
00:42:52
of something similar that they've found
00:42:54
a negative outlet for you know everyone
00:42:56
needs an outlet for it
00:42:58
um yes I'm extremely thankful that I
00:43:00
found something positive out of it and
00:43:01
you know when I think back
00:43:04
um that was probably the little seed
00:43:05
that got planted to to start Farm fit
00:43:07
yeah right right subliminate
00:43:09
subliminally yeah absolutely yeah yeah I
00:43:11
think it's
00:43:13
um I wouldn't have thought it 10 years
00:43:14
ago but you know when I think back to
00:43:16
um you know when people ask me how I
00:43:19
started farmford I usually go back to go
00:43:21
back to that that was a catalyst for
00:43:23
something
00:43:24
um and it's just taken 25 years to sort
00:43:28
of get there I guess but
00:43:30
howdy now what do you think 85 yeah yeah
00:43:34
he's still got ears on me
00:43:36
I'm 49 and I'm just I've just let the
00:43:39
last few years
00:43:40
um like discovered the importance of um
00:43:42
you know having having deeper
00:43:44
conversations with people yeah I suppose
00:43:45
like showing a bit of vulnerability yeah
00:43:47
and that's I'm and it's I I understand
00:43:50
how important it is and I understand how
00:43:52
good it feels when you do it but I I
00:43:54
still do struggle with some of my mates
00:43:55
like you get together and we can like um
00:43:58
smash out a couple of bottles of wine
00:43:59
and just have shallow talk before we
00:44:01
yeah before we get to the deeper stuff
00:44:04
and uh then you see you see women they
00:44:06
get together and they meet other women
00:44:08
straight into that deep stuff why is it
00:44:11
so hard hey because it is it's cathartic
00:44:12
it's really good yeah oh absolutely and
00:44:14
that's probably one of the best things
00:44:16
about writing this book was actually
00:44:17
going back
00:44:19
um through life and you know revisiting
00:44:21
that that
00:44:23
um time in my life and understanding the
00:44:25
emotions of it and but also the good
00:44:27
stuff that came after it but but really
00:44:29
like sitting down and appreciating
00:44:31
everything you know and it was quite
00:44:33
cool actually to see every everything
00:44:34
tie in together and it's sort of like a
00:44:36
timeline of life really and you actually
00:44:38
sit back and you think oh this happened
00:44:40
because of that and you know I met that
00:44:42
person then and that became something
00:44:44
else and you know it's it's quite a cool
00:44:47
thing to actually sit down and and look
00:44:49
back at your life and understand it a
00:44:50
little bit better you know yeah I
00:44:52
understand why what what makes you and
00:44:55
why you Tech yeah you do the things you
00:44:57
do yeah absolutely yeah it's a really
00:44:59
important thing to do yeah
00:45:00
self-awareness right I suppose um yeah
00:45:02
are you quite good with gratitude
00:45:05
I'm a lot better now than I used to be
00:45:06
yeah like uh five five or six years ago
00:45:09
I probably um
00:45:10
didn't even know what the word was it's
00:45:13
in all honesty yeah I'm still I think
00:45:16
most uh most males still live that um
00:45:20
she'll be right attitude just just not
00:45:22
even think about that but I I find it
00:45:25
quite a powerful thing to to look back
00:45:26
on your day or your year or something
00:45:28
and and um and really pick out some
00:45:32
positive say it's it's quite an
00:45:34
empowering thing and
00:45:35
even better than that is is reliving
00:45:39
um times when you've felt gratitude or
00:45:41
witnessed it and that's something I do
00:45:43
really regularly now is is I've found
00:45:45
that super powerful rather than uh
00:45:47
thanking a roof over your head is is
00:45:49
actually think back to a time when you
00:45:51
when you received a gift or something
00:45:53
special or a time that someone you know
00:45:56
someone showed that they cared about you
00:45:57
something like that is super powerful to
00:46:00
replay that story
00:46:02
um so I'm pretty good at doing that
00:46:04
automatically now and reflecting on the
00:46:08
day and it's a seems silly I wouldn't
00:46:11
have picked myself sitting here as a
00:46:13
farmer talking about gratitude or
00:46:16
journaling or anything like that is
00:46:18
it's
00:46:18
um it's quite an odd thing but it yeah
00:46:21
it's great though it's great because I I
00:46:24
suppose for me like I got to a position
00:46:25
where um I was very financially driven
00:46:28
and I was earning fantastic money I
00:46:30
really enjoyed my job but it was quite
00:46:31
stressful I guess
00:46:32
um but I had all these things
00:46:35
I'd buy something new and it'd give me
00:46:37
like a um like a momentary I don't know
00:46:40
if it's a dopamine hat or a rush of
00:46:42
Serotonin or something and then I'd feel
00:46:44
flat again and then I realized like the
00:46:46
the key to gratitude is just being happy
00:46:48
with less actually yeah and it's like
00:46:50
long-term thinking a is super important
00:46:53
um we often we often look for those
00:46:54
short-term hits whether it's a rum at
00:46:57
the end of the night or buying a buying
00:46:59
any toy a jet ski or something like that
00:47:00
but you know it's a frame TV yeah 65
00:47:04
inches you know you know it's
00:47:06
understanding that that long-term head
00:47:08
is way more important eh and uh you know
00:47:11
same as the same as a bar of chocolate
00:47:12
you know it's my it's my weakness
00:47:14
um if I'm gonna going for a short-term
00:47:16
hit it so it's a tasty bit of food but
00:47:19
it's really the long-term thinking that
00:47:21
gets us through life yeah sure and stuff
00:47:23
yeah sure well you seem to have that
00:47:24
right you um your kids um
00:47:27
your son in particular he looks pretty I
00:47:29
met him just before he looks pretty
00:47:30
pissed off with you at the moment
00:47:31
because he's very tired and you told me
00:47:33
you um got them out of bed first thing
00:47:34
you said I'm wanting to see a sunrise in
00:47:36
Fiji yeah and I feel like that's one of
00:47:38
the I don't know maybe he's too young to
00:47:39
appreciate it but maybe years from now
00:47:41
he'll look back and go [ __ ] that was a
00:47:42
cool moment with Dad yeah I actually I
00:47:44
was actually surprised I got out of bed
00:47:46
to be here
00:47:48
um I was actually really happy with they
00:47:50
both had
00:47:52
um quite a positive attitude about
00:47:53
getting up that early and and because we
00:47:55
had to hike up a bit of a hill you know
00:47:57
it was a 15 minute walk up a hill at uh
00:47:59
six in the morning
00:48:00
um they both really enjoyed it and I I
00:48:02
think they've probably just got to that
00:48:04
age and they've seen me
00:48:05
uh or they've sort of had me drag them
00:48:08
along to enough stuff now that maybe
00:48:10
just just clicking that um it is
00:48:12
something special and to you know pay
00:48:13
attention to those little things in
00:48:15
nature because that's a distinct to
00:48:17
remember you know when I was struggling
00:48:18
on the farm was
00:48:20
uh one of the other things I did was was
00:48:22
actually I had to remember why why was I
00:48:25
farming you know I had to ask myself
00:48:26
that question because I wanted to give
00:48:29
it all away
00:48:30
um and so I had to think back to when I
00:48:32
was a kid on my uncle's Farm um you know
00:48:34
just having a ball and and just enjoying
00:48:36
that farm life and I sort of made a
00:48:39
promise to myself to you know that was
00:48:41
why I was farming to replicate that for
00:48:43
my kids so it was I made that a priority
00:48:46
because I was working so hard on the
00:48:48
bloody farm and leaving the kids at home
00:48:49
because they slow you down a bit so it
00:48:52
was actually I had to stop and sort of
00:48:53
smell the roses a bit and you know go
00:48:56
and pet the cows and endure those things
00:48:58
with the kids that I liked and that was
00:49:00
the reason why I was farming so it's a
00:49:03
pretty cool thing to
00:49:05
um teach your kids how to be grateful
00:49:07
for those things and I try and Hammer at
00:49:09
home it's hard though when they're
00:49:10
living
00:49:11
A Life That's so different now with
00:49:14
tablets and phones and YouTube yeah all
00:49:17
the things oh it's crazy but um yeah
00:49:20
it's it's it's so important you know
00:49:21
what's really interesting is
00:49:24
um Fiji you go there the happiest bloody
00:49:26
people have ever met eh oh the nicest
00:49:28
people in my world and it's it's not so
00:49:31
much the place it's the people that
00:49:33
keeps me going back there it's only my
00:49:35
second trip but you know I'm gonna keep
00:49:37
going back there because they're amazing
00:49:38
people but a lot of them have got
00:49:40
absolutely freaking nothing eh and you
00:49:43
know you think about that and then I
00:49:44
think about my kids who can be um you
00:49:47
know a bit stroppy sometimes and they
00:49:49
don't get what they want they don't get
00:49:50
what they want you know they're
00:49:51
sometimes they know they need their you
00:49:52
know they want to watch their TV show or
00:49:54
something it's the end of the world if
00:49:55
they can't do it
00:49:57
you know how have we over complicated
00:50:00
life you know yeah yeah
00:50:02
um you know you think about those those
00:50:03
Fijian people man they've a lot of them
00:50:05
have got absolutely nothing but they're
00:50:07
so happy so grateful
00:50:09
um and so positive about life
00:50:11
um and I look around us in the society
00:50:13
we live in now in New Zealand and
00:50:15
America you know Western culture and
00:50:17
it's like there's not that many people
00:50:18
that are happy
00:50:20
um or or that friendly like you walk
00:50:22
down the street even in New Plymouth now
00:50:24
I went for a run there along the
00:50:25
foreshore and
00:50:27
um on the road Track by the way yeah I'm
00:50:29
that guy though that'll you know give
00:50:31
you a give you the eyebrows or a good
00:50:32
day or something you know that's just
00:50:34
how I've grown up and and no one was
00:50:36
Bloody they were looking at me like I
00:50:37
was a bloody idiot when I was saying
00:50:39
g'day and it was only the the older
00:50:41
people that said hello back and I was
00:50:43
just like man this is sad you know
00:50:46
um what sort of this is not the world I
00:50:48
want to live in I want to walk down the
00:50:50
street and say good day to people or
00:50:51
stop for a yarn and and that's that's
00:50:53
normal because that was the New Zealand
00:50:55
that I grew up in but it's you just
00:50:56
don't get that anymore you get looked at
00:50:58
I was getting some weird looks saying
00:51:00
g'day to people that was horrible I
00:51:03
messed about I did that the same here um
00:51:05
in Auckland where I where I run it if I
00:51:07
see not so much walkers but other
00:51:08
Runners someone running the other
00:51:10
direction I'll always give them a wave
00:51:11
yeah and because I mean here we are
00:51:13
we're out doing the same thing at the
00:51:15
same time what are the [ __ ] chances
00:51:16
yeah and the amount of people that are I
00:51:18
don't know they're in the zone so they
00:51:19
don't even see you or they give you a
00:51:20
look like do I know you it's really
00:51:22
really odd but I really want to make the
00:51:24
uh make the the friendly wave a thing
00:51:26
again I think it's got to come back and
00:51:28
even driving on uh rural roads now
00:51:30
anyone who's listening to this podcast
00:51:32
so if you're driving on a rural road out
00:51:33
in the country just wave when you go
00:51:36
past the car you whatever it is
00:51:38
um one finger or two just up over the
00:51:40
steering wheel
00:51:41
to make sure it's the right way around
00:51:43
um but you know that's that's the New
00:51:45
Zealand I grew up in where if if you're
00:51:46
driving down a rural road everyone gave
00:51:48
someone a wave or you know
00:51:50
um acknowledged their existence
00:51:52
um but even that's happening less yeah
00:51:54
and it's sad man it um
00:51:56
it actually like is I find it quite sad
00:51:59
that
00:52:00
um that's happening to New Zealand yeah
00:52:02
I think yeah I think we can probably
00:52:04
learn a lot from the uh the Fijian
00:52:06
mindset and it comes back to what I was
00:52:07
saying before about uh instead of
00:52:09
wanting more just being happier with
00:52:10
less maybe yeah I don't know absolutely
00:52:12
um by the way good on you for going to
00:52:13
Fiji as well because I uh my um my uncle
00:52:16
John like growing up I'm pretty I don't
00:52:18
remember him ever having a holiday I
00:52:20
feel like in the rural communities back
00:52:22
in the 80s and 90s it was almost like a
00:52:23
badge of honor to talk about how many
00:52:25
years you've gone without having a break
00:52:26
is it a thing a lot of people I keep a
00:52:30
pretty close eye on like the the dairy
00:52:31
farming pages in New Zealand and uh some
00:52:34
people wear that as a badge along you
00:52:36
haven't had a day off for six years or
00:52:37
you know all these sorts of things and
00:52:39
I'm just like you're an idiot
00:52:40
um life is passing you by I mean one of
00:52:43
the things I learned from boxing there's
00:52:45
a there's a famous commentator uh boxing
00:52:47
trainer he actually trained Mike Tyson
00:52:49
when he was a teenager
00:52:51
um and it's a it's about being tough and
00:52:54
we have this this idea in our mind you
00:52:57
know this the stoic toughness of of the
00:53:00
Kiwi male and that you you don't say
00:53:02
anything you don't take a day off you
00:53:04
know particularly in farming you know
00:53:05
you you get injured you just keep buddy
00:53:07
working you get sick you just work
00:53:08
through it and that's all very well
00:53:11
but actually if you're if you're smart
00:53:13
about things and and you do take a day
00:53:15
off even forbid or you know have an
00:53:18
off-farm activity or or get fit for
00:53:20
carving you know do these little things
00:53:21
that are smart you know uh do a journal
00:53:24
um you actually become tougher because
00:53:26
you don't need to rely on just being a
00:53:28
hard bastard anymore you've got all
00:53:30
these other tools that you can pick up
00:53:33
um and and use and you know when things
00:53:35
do really get tough sometimes you do
00:53:37
need to tough things out but it's there
00:53:39
and it's intact and this boxing trainer
00:53:41
he he likened it to hitting a stone with
00:53:44
a hammer
00:53:45
um and you know a stone's really hard
00:53:46
it's tough but sooner or later if you
00:53:49
just keep chipping away at it it's going
00:53:50
to crack you know it might not be the
00:53:52
hundredth time it gets hurt it might be
00:53:54
the ten thousands time you know but uh
00:53:56
sooner or later it's going to start
00:53:57
cracking and it's not going to be tough
00:53:59
anymore so you wear it out and there's
00:54:02
something I've really discovered the
00:54:03
last probably six years is is is to be
00:54:07
smarter and that's a lot of what I
00:54:09
wanted to do with the book is is give
00:54:10
people some tools to use that aren't
00:54:13
just being tough and it's not just
00:54:16
um you know putting your head down and
00:54:18
carrying on it's it's actually picking
00:54:20
up the phone and talking about things
00:54:21
and working through things and you just
00:54:24
become so much you know you not only do
00:54:27
you become a better farmer you'd be
00:54:28
become a better person and a better
00:54:30
husband or a better father or a better
00:54:31
wife or whatever job you do
00:54:34
um so we need it we need to change the
00:54:36
mentality around that and actually be
00:54:38
smarter about how we live our lives now
00:54:40
rather than just relying on tough yeah
00:54:43
right I love that I love that right okay
00:54:46
we should wrap this up um and I don't
00:54:48
know if there's a a simple answer to
00:54:51
this but for anyone that's listening to
00:54:52
this right now
00:54:54
that's in a good place I feel like
00:54:56
that's that's the time where you should
00:54:57
start doing the work know that tough
00:54:59
times in your life are going to come at
00:55:00
some point yeah and the more prepared
00:55:02
you are the better even though when you
00:55:03
were when you when you're feeling great
00:55:04
and life's going good the last thing you
00:55:06
want to do is like start a [ __ ]
00:55:07
Journal
00:55:09
is that necessary right yeah
00:55:11
um but for anyone that's in that
00:55:12
position rural or otherwise like what
00:55:14
would your what would your key point to
00:55:15
be to them
00:55:17
look I I sum it up pretty simply and I
00:55:20
look at my physical mental health as a
00:55:22
table
00:55:23
every table has four legs and another
00:55:26
sort of the the pillars that hold up
00:55:28
your health and I look at it as stress
00:55:30
so you know filtering out the stress you
00:55:33
don't need in life dealing with the
00:55:35
stress you know in a healthy way you
00:55:37
know don't go on sink a dozen a purse go
00:55:40
and actually yeah solve the problems
00:55:42
talk about it deal with it in a healthy
00:55:44
way so that it's not a stress anymore
00:55:46
um some sort of movement
00:55:48
it can be anything from yoga to gamer
00:55:52
hockey surfing you know I'm all about
00:55:54
people just getting out and using their
00:55:56
bodies in some form of nature I think
00:55:59
that's really important to to do it in
00:56:00
our natural setting you know we're human
00:56:02
beings we're not robots so get out and
00:56:04
move look after your body and and that
00:56:08
movement because it does disappear as
00:56:10
your age of yeah started to find
00:56:12
um
00:56:13
sleep super important particularly for
00:56:16
for people that work funny hours Farmers
00:56:19
shift workers is having a sleep routine
00:56:21
without sleep you you make pretty poor
00:56:24
decisions about everything basically so
00:56:27
that's been super important to me to
00:56:28
have a good routine and then what you
00:56:31
consume
00:56:32
um not only what we put in our mouths
00:56:34
but what we listen to and what we watch
00:56:35
and who we hang around here you know the
00:56:37
environment we create around us we we
00:56:40
soak up like a sponge and it's
00:56:42
you know it's super important to be
00:56:43
aware that that can be a really negative
00:56:47
um you know feeder for our for our head
00:56:49
space so
00:56:50
um trying to you know watch what you
00:56:52
watch is super important especially
00:56:54
these days in social media
00:56:56
um
00:56:57
you know if if you can do a reasonable
00:56:59
job on those four things I think
00:57:02
um you know just just have one thing for
00:57:04
each of those table legs that you can
00:57:07
look towards to to help you out I think
00:57:11
that goes a long way to keeping you uh
00:57:14
above the line so to speak yeah I love
00:57:16
it good advice but in saying that a
00:57:17
boxer person a couple of episodes of
00:57:19
Love Island every now and then
00:57:21
you know social media is a funny one
00:57:24
though because it's um it can be very
00:57:25
negative but then there's um yes people
00:57:26
like you with your fan for the cap doing
00:57:28
good yeah but what I noticed was I used
00:57:30
to be a consumer so you know you go on
00:57:33
Facebook you know like I said earlier I
00:57:35
didn't post anything I just consumed
00:57:37
whatever was out there and you don't
00:57:38
realize how negative that can be like I
00:57:41
remember uh you know when I was
00:57:43
struggling was a time when uh I think it
00:57:47
was safe and Greenpeace were just
00:57:49
absolutely attacking Dairy Farmers and
00:57:51
um I sort of felt like the All Blacks
00:57:53
when they lost the World Cup everyone
00:57:55
just [ __ ] hated them like imagine
00:58:00
that you love for your country yeah
00:58:03
um but everyone bloody hates you for it
00:58:05
and that was that was actually really
00:58:07
hard to to take because it was
00:58:09
everywhere it was on it was on you know
00:58:10
the 6 p.m news it was on Facebook
00:58:13
um wherever you looked were you know
00:58:15
farmers were just bastards and [ __ ]
00:58:17
and they hated their cows and hated New
00:58:19
Zealand and and I was like [ __ ] off I
00:58:22
love my country I'm the backbone of us
00:58:24
yeah I'm trying to feed the world man
00:58:27
you know when you when you think about
00:58:29
farming New Zealand it was you know the
00:58:31
pioneers of of
00:58:33
um you know the Europeans that came over
00:58:34
and and turned it into an industry and
00:58:36
yeah
00:58:37
um I'm really proud of that you know so
00:58:39
it was really really bloody hard to see
00:58:41
that being attacked and me you know and
00:58:44
a lot of farmers felt like this is
00:58:45
getting lumped into the bottom two
00:58:47
percent that were doing a [ __ ] job of it
00:58:50
um so it can really feed into that
00:58:52
headspace and what I found with with
00:58:55
creating Farm fit as I became a Creator
00:58:58
not a consumer so I'd
00:59:00
um you know I just scroll this you know
00:59:02
I don't I don't have the time or energy
00:59:04
to to absorb a lot of that negative [ __ ]
00:59:07
you really pay attention to who you
00:59:08
follow and and um you know that
00:59:10
consumption of what you actually
00:59:12
consuming I'll stop watching the news
00:59:14
like a year ago you know it was just
00:59:16
it's just all negative and [ __ ] A lot of
00:59:18
the time so it's kind of yeah and it's
00:59:20
it's designed for
00:59:22
um it's an hour of content for what TV1
00:59:24
or TV3 I think is going to sell out yeah
00:59:25
exactly exactly that's it try and change
00:59:28
because you can't avoid social media but
00:59:30
try and change your algorithms follow
00:59:31
farmfa absolutely if you see someone
00:59:33
that constantly posts good quotes like
00:59:35
them more and then you'll get more of
00:59:36
them you feed absolutely yeah change the
00:59:38
algorithm yeah yeah you've got to you've
00:59:40
got to be you've got to have control of
00:59:42
who you're following that's the one
00:59:43
thing I like about Instagram actually
00:59:45
other than Facebook is you I think
00:59:47
there's more control over who you follow
00:59:49
and you don't tend to get uh random [ __ ]
00:59:51
generating into your feeding more though
00:59:53
I have noticed it a fair bit more lately
00:59:55
but
00:59:56
um I like I wasn't even on on Instagram
00:59:58
before fanfic you know it was it was I'm
01:00:00
pretty new to it but
01:00:02
um yeah just understanding who you're
01:00:04
following and you know if they make you
01:00:05
feel bad [ __ ] don't follow them yeah
01:00:07
absolutely it's as easy as that
01:00:08
absolutely yeah people are simple all
01:00:10
right Kane Briscoe um brand new book
01:00:12
tools for the top haddock um
01:00:14
congratulations man you must um look at
01:00:16
the cover of there and yeah actually you
01:00:17
take that if you want you take that some
01:00:20
reading for the plane back to back to
01:00:21
the knacky I also look really fit me
01:00:23
yeah good to see you where your best
01:00:25
gears for the cover dirty old Canterbury
01:00:27
shorts what is it a ridge line Stitch
01:00:29
line [ __ ] no no that's my own shirt
01:00:32
yeah yeah no no it's standard attire
01:00:35
mate I'm shorts all year so it was uh
01:00:37
they wanted the normal look yeah oh you
01:00:39
I can tell you bursting with pride and
01:00:41
uh and you should be it's a it's a it's
01:00:43
a true honor that you've got to this
01:00:44
point um love what you're doing with
01:00:45
fanfit and um and keep it up man you've
01:00:48
done the work thank you very much I
01:00:49
really appreciate you getting me on and
01:00:51
um being able to get some uh average
01:00:54
rural New Zealand Channel things have
01:00:57
been and I don't know we start recording
01:00:59
and then you can explain what three
01:01:00
Waters is to me nobody knows
01:01:03
Kane Briscoe thank you very much for
01:01:06
listening all the way through if you
01:01:07
want to learn more about Kane you can
01:01:09
Google his book tools for the top
01:01:10
Paddock and if you like the podcast
01:01:12
Please Subscribe follow like and even
01:01:15
give it a rating or review I honestly
01:01:17
from the bottom of my heart really
01:01:19
appreciate the support
01:01:21
um this may sound a little bit cheesy
01:01:23
but it has been a tough hustle this year
01:01:25
this podcast it's like building a
01:01:26
business from scratch so on those hard
01:01:28
weeks the love and the support for the
01:01:31
podcast really has kept me going so if
01:01:33
that's you thanks so much
01:01:35
um I can't tell you how much I
01:01:36
appreciate it and if you've got any
01:01:38
feedback I take everything on board good
01:01:39
or bad you can message me Dom Harvey NZ
01:01:42
gmail.com or flick me a message on
01:01:45
Instagram Don Harvey NZ all right thanks
01:01:47
team
