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Robbie Magasiva Opens Up on Loss of Pua Magasiva

March 15, 2026 / 01:37:33

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What was it about yourself that you saw

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that you didn't like?

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>> I lost my ex-wife to ego.

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>> May 11, 2019. What are you What are your

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memories of that day?

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>> 3:00 in the morning, I get a call from

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poor twin. Didn't answer it. And he

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called again. Didn't answer it. Third

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time I answered it and he said, "Who's

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just passed?" Didn't register that. I

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said, "What?" Said poor poor passed away

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on the flooring my eyes just like angry.

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It was during co I lost my [ __ ] and I

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just hit the table and stormed out of

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there and I was just pissed off of

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myself. When you say ego, were you

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unfaithful at the time?

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>> Yeah, very much so.

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>> You're not as the hunky actor.

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>> Seeing this woman just all that gone,

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you know, just watching TV and I know I,

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you know, I know she was lost in there.

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It's just like every time I do look at

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her, it's just Yeah, it it it breaks my

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heart.

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>> What do you think happens when you die?

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>> But to answer your question, when he

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asked me a question, are you happy

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yourself? I was like, yes, I am

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actually.

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>> Oh, good. You're here. Come on. This is

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the center of performance. Whenever

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there's a top performance in New

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Zealand, it all comes from here. That's

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Lisa Carrington. She's been doing that

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for days. That's the boys who got the

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hole in one in two.

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He did it again. Hey Finn, how's the

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performance going?

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>> Top tier.

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>> Nice. This is our generate room. In

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here, you'll find our top performers

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helping Kiwis maximize their Kiwi Saver

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investments. Get in here, Finn.

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Maximize. Generate.

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>> Putting performance first.

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>> Robbie Manga. Hi, Dom. Hi, Dom Harvey.

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Finally. Finally. I wore you down.

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trying to think how hold how long ago I

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got a first DM for a be broke do you

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want to be in go cuz oh no I'm not

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interested and then back in the country

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said he's here he's here so I'm here

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>> I appreciate it you said in the office

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just a second ago you're nervous why are

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you nervous

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>> dude I'm always nervous well like I said

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to you at um before I said this is

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you're my second podcast I don't often

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do it and mainly because I find myself

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really boring cuz the first one I did

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was mandate and again I said to the boys

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both I um yeah I've got nothing to talk

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about but it's as we got into it things

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started to come out I started to open up

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which was really

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>> it really hit a a few people actually

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that mandate one with me so I thought

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okay

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>> did you get yourself in trouble no or do

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people agree with I I listened to that

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the other day I've been on the mandate

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podcast as well they do they do a great

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job um it was very thorough like a 2 and

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a half hour chat that you had with them

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um and there were like a lot of things

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that that you said like talking about

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how proud you are of being a man. And I

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thought, "Oo, to a lot of people, this

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could be a hot take."

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>> Well, I thought that when I said it at

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the time, you know, but I didn't get any

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grief about that, you know. I I just

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kind of owned it, you know. I wasn't

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>> that's where I I'm I still, you know,

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I'm I'm a proud man kind of thing. And

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but I'm also uh it doesn't mean I'm a

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sexist or anything. I understand where

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people are and I accept that. But

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>> as if you ask me who I am, this is who I

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am as a man

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>> and I'm proud to wear that badge.

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>> Well, I I you appreciated the um

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authenticity. Like you agreed to come on

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my podcast before I'd heard the mandate

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one. And after hearing the mandate one,

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I thought, "Oh, this podcast is going to

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be great cuz um Robbie is

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unapologetically himself. Um and he's at

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a age and stage in his life where he

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doesn't give a [ __ ] about what he says.

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He speaks his truth."

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>> Yeah. Well, let's hope. Let's hope.

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>> So, you're back just to time stamp this.

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We're recording this over the um the

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summer break uh 2025/2026.

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And you're living in LA at the moment,

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so you're back here for a limited time

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only.

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>> No. Yeah. Well, I kind of moved over I

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moved over in end of 2023

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um cuz my kids my kids uh both of them

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live in Melbourne. Uh one is in uh

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France at the moment uh making her way

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back to to Melbourne. And I thought I've

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got nothing else. And it was also a

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period of my life that I kind of needed

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to leave. You know, I think when that

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podcast when mandate happened, I was in

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a period of my life where [ __ ] was

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happening to me. And then the back and I

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just come out of that end of 2023 and I

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thought, no, in my heart said I need to

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I I need to leave here. I'm I I think I

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need to be away so then I can appreciate

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this, you know, being here again.

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because I had no appreciation for it and

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mainly all the [ __ ] that happened to me

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leading up to that.

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>> What was happening to you?

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>> Oh, dude. Uh it was a relationship

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thing. Um all that stuff, but um

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>> you know uh I Yeah, that's yeah, buried

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now in the past and we we move on.

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>> Okay.

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>> Yeah, there's a quote from you in the um

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the Christ Church Press in March 2024.

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>> Oh [ __ ] what did I say? Um, and I

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wonder if this um I bring this up cuz I

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wonder if it brings if if it's connected

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to the what you're talking about, the

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[ __ ] happening to you,

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>> man. The last 3 years have been a

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struggle. I had to sell sell all my

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[ __ ]

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>> I had to sell my car and some of my

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bikes just to make ends meet.

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>> I was just watching that bank account go

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down and down and people have this

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perception of, oh man, you're an actor,

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you're rich. Far from it.

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>> Is that connected to Was it like a

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career slump as well?

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>> It was a career slump as well. Like

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everything happened at once. my uh my

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relationship ending um and then just not

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having work work for about a year. Yeah,

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I mean I was getting bits and and and

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bobs and all I'd accumulated. I mean I I

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love my toys and I bought that when the

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back end of having nine season on

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Wentworth, you know, but then the

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reality hit when Wentworth finished and

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then there was just no work for about 2

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years which is like and then having

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luckily I had that those to sell so I

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can you know make ends meet. And it was

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just like it was funny though because

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being in the being in that dark place or

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where where everything where [ __ ]

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happens.

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>> I I I which I think I said on the

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podcast I learned a lot about myself

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>> and now I'm prepped for it. Like this

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year now I've only worked once but I

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know I'm careful with my money cuz I was

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terrible with my money. I've got people

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that look after my money now and it's

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working for me. So now I can even though

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I'm not working and I get anxiety about

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not working, I know that I'm okay. I'm

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going to be okay for a a few years. All

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I need to do now is get a job next year

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so I can fill up the bank.

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>> Um yeah, I mean it builds character. It

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builds resilience adversity and going

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through the stuff. But [ __ ] it's never

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fun at the time.

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>> No, it sucks.

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>> It sucks. It sucks. But I came, you

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know, but that I'm proud. You look I I

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have to say I'm proud of myself. from

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coming going going going through that

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cuz you know you hear horrible stories

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about people getting there and not

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having the support or not having a way

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to deal with that and you know they end

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up choosing a road that I would never

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yeah you know

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>> um

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>> how how you may not want to answer this

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and like there's no um stitchups or

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gotchas here so you don't have to answer

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anything or whatever but so you're on

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the show Wentworth for like nine season

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100 episodes or something your your core

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cast you must have been earning good

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Right.

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>> It was okay.

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>> Yeah.

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>> Well, when I first when we when I first

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uh landed that role, um compared to what

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I was earning here, it was big money. It

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was big. It was well I I pro it wasn't

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as big as some of the um what the the

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women were getting because they well

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known in Australia. I was just this

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little Kiwi that I happened to to have

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landed the role. So it generally I mean

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as a season went on I think I got a slow

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raise but it was never um it was good

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money but it wasn't anywhere near what

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the the women were getting. Yeah. Yeah.

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>> Um I believe around this time you

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thought about quitting. I I heard um a

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couple of different interviews. One you

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said you talked about becoming a

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firefighter. Another one I heard you

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talk about becoming a personal trainer.

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How how close were you actually to

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>> well the back the the last season of

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Wentworth it was during co

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and I was away I was away from I was

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away from my family for a few months

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because I couldn't leave the country

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they they well actually when wouldn't

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allow me to leave because of the

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restriction they were nervous that I

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wouldn't wasn't able to get back into

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the country to finish the season so I

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end up being stuck there for about 6

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months I think it was away from my

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family. And then there was a thing that

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happened on set. I turned up to set and

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I did this scene and I remember learning

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my lines leading up to that to that

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scene. There was one line I just

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couldn't get. I just couldn't get. And I

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left home, went on set, and I knew

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inside me goes, "Fuck, I'm not I'm not

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going to get this." Anyway, we come to

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that scene. Sure enough, didn't hit it.

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Stuffed up my line. We had ended up

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doing about 15 takes and that's a lot

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for a fast run. And I got to a point

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that I got lost my [ __ ] and I just hit

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the table and stormed out of there. And

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I was just pissed off with myself. And I

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know uh the first ad was a good mate of

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mine. He just looked at me goes, "Bro,

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just do look just get as much out and

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then they can edit." So why did that

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after I walked away from that and I said

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to myself, "No, I don't want to do this

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[ __ ] again." I had anxiety turning up to

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set from then on and I think we had a

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few week probably a month left of shoot.

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I was anxious every time I got up and

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never happened to me before. And I got

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anxious turning up to see. I got anxious

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about learning lines and stuffing up my

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lines. And then by the end of that, I

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left. I came home. When I finally did

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come home, I said, "N stuff this. I

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don't want to do this anymore." And I

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rang my agent, my Australian agent. I

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said, "Look, I don't want to do this

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anymore." And she said to me, "Look,

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take the rest of the year off, right?

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And then we can have this conversation

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at the end of the year if you want. If

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that's what you want to stick with."

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Yep. then I and then I accept and I

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respect that but if not then we continue

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this journey but you look after yourself

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work on yourself take a break away and I

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think 8 months I did that and

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so during that 8 months I explored being

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a firefighter I whether what what the

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options are that or PT I didn't have any

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qualifications I left school I only

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qualified in acting and rugby so the end

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of that I'd done all the work I needed

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to do And then yeah, she said, "Okay,

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let's let's do that again."

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>> And then she started slowly introduc um

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getting me little jobs just to,

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>> you know, Yeah. ease you back into it.

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>> Well, that moment on Wentworth with um

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the line that you couldn't get right.

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What was that about? It wasn't about the

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line, was it? Like you you've been

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acting your entire adult life.

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>> Exactly. It was I think it was just just

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the back end of Wetworth. I did not

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enjoy. The last two season, the last

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season of Wentworth, I didn't enjoy

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actually. I gotten to a point where I I

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just didn't enjoy going to work. I

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enjoyed seeing the people, but I just

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didn't enjoy it. I didn't know I didn't

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like the way my character where they

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wrote my character, the the arc that

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they had, you know, cuz I'd turn up

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every season, they said, "You're going

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to do this, this, and this." And it

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would never happen. So, by the end of

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it, I was just like, I'm over it. I

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don't want to do this anymore. So it was

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a combination of that a com uh also

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being away from my family for 6 months

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not not knowing not allowing to to

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leave. Uh and then that event there was

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just

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it's where you know it kind of exploded

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and I said no stuff this I don't want to

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do this.

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>> Wonder if yeah the um co lockdowns had

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something to do with it. Melbourne was

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the worst city in the world to be locked

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down, right?

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>> It was like the longest city in the

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world

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>> cuz the thing is in in in Australia, you

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couldn't go, you know, here you were

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allowed to go outside, right, and get

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some fresh air. In Australia, you

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weren't they weren't given that time.

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They were stuck in their hotel room or

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wherever. The whole time they were

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there,

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>> it was full on. But I remember we also

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had Zoom meet cuz everyone was in in

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quarantine at that time. I was in

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Hamilton. Some people were in in Sydney

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somewhere. But we would have Zooms. That

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Zoom was really popular back then.

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>> Mhm.

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>> I have anxiety about that about co

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>> So do I,

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>> dude.

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>> So do I. If there's ever um an

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opportunity to do a remote podcast, I

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sort of turn it down cuz it just I don't

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know. I find it it just reminds me of

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like a co thing.

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>> Yeah. Like I' I've my parents are here

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at the moment and we and I got a Airbnb

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in town and I thought it was a

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threebedroom, but it was a two-bedroom.

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So it was me, mom and dad. mom and dad

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and myself and my sister and I got so

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claustrophobic and and it remind it took

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me back to to quarantine time. I was

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like I hate this. I hate this. At the

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time we just survived, you know, as

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humans we survive.

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>> But back then I was like I never want to

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go through that [ __ ] again.

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>> Never.

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>> Jeez, the podcast is already off to a

00:12:33

great start. That's it's some it's some

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it's some real um honesty and some

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vulnerability early on. I promise it's

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not going to be all bleak. There's going

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to be some fun stuff.

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>> I like bleak. Hit me with bleak.

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>> Okay. Okay. Well, I've got another quote

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from you from that same article in the

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press, March 2024.

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When I went to that place, I saw stuff

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about myself that I didn't like, but I

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don't think that I would have healed

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properly if I hadn't gone through that

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tough time.

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What was it about yourself that you saw

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that you didn't like?

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>> A lot of it had to do with ego.

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Um

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uh yeah, for a long I I I mean I I'll

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I'll be as honest as my ego uh I lost uh

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I lost my ex-wife

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to ego.

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>> Um

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>> you've only been married once.

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>> I've only been married once and that was

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a few years ago.

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>> But ego ruined that relationship for a

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long time. I it was just it was just

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ego. But also not seeing, not being able

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to see cuz you see stuff when you're in

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when you're when you're when you're that

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low, which cuz I think the rest of the

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you the rest of the world just covers

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everything.

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>> I'm not making any sense here. But at

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the time, I just didn't see [ __ ] about

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myself. And when you're that deep in

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depression and it's like, oh, okay,

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there it is. You know, but a lot of it

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had to do with with my ego.

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>> That's some good self-reflection. Yeah,

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>> I think when we get to our 50s, you can

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you can acknledge.

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>> I can I and I think I've always been

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honest with with stuff. Even I surprised

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myself on that and that the that other

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podcast and how much it did come out,

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you know. I think at that time as well,

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it need I just needed an outlet.

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>> So, it surprised me when we started

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talking and stuff were just coming out

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and I said, "Oh, okay."

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>> It's like pulling a thread of

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>> Yeah. Yeah. When now I'm in the period

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of my life where I'm I'm I'm really

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good.

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>> Mhm. you know, work has dried up a

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little bit, but that's to expected the

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the career that I've chosen.

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>> But other than that, my my kids are

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healthy.

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>> I enjoy life. I love being here. I love

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living in the States, you know,

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>> and um so life is good. Touchwood.

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>> Yeah. Um so you um your ex-wife, has she

00:14:45

forgiven you or more importantly, have

00:14:47

you forgiven yourself?

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>> I've forgiven myself. Yeah, I did. I

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did. Um

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>> I did. I mean, yeah, I did apologize. I

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did say to her, "I'm sorry for the way I

00:14:57

was or the way I treated you um very

00:15:01

early on uh after we we broke up." Um

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and we still stay well. I don't keep in

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contact as much uh anymore. She actually

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used to work at up there. Uh what's it

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what's the

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>> Oh, Media Works.

00:15:12

>> Media Work. She used to work up there.

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>> So, every time I did come up, she

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doesn't work there anymore, but every

00:15:17

time I do come up, I text and see if

00:15:19

she's around for coffee.

00:15:20

>> Um but yeah.

00:15:21

>> Oh, that's nice.

00:15:22

>> Yeah. Yeah. But she's moved on. She's

00:15:24

better out without me.

00:15:25

>> Were you when you say ego, were you

00:15:26

unfaithful at the time?

00:15:27

>> Yeah. Yeah, very much so.

00:15:28

>> I think you got to cut yourself some

00:15:30

slack. I was I was thinking about this

00:15:31

on I went for a run this morning and I

00:15:33

was thinking about this. It's like um

00:15:35

your good looks, it's probably a

00:15:37

blessing and a curse. Like me. I've I've

00:15:39

never had an issue with that because uh

00:15:41

you know what? I don't consider myself

00:15:43

good-looking. It's bizarre.

00:15:45

>> Come on. You're not as the hunky actor.

00:15:47

I'm an old guy. I'm an old fart now. No,

00:15:50

I mean it it has helped in my career,

00:15:53

but there are days, seriously, there are

00:15:55

days like I look at like I at the moment

00:15:58

I've kind of let myself go a little bit

00:16:00

cuz since I've been here, all I've eaten

00:16:02

is fish and chips and mints and cheese

00:16:04

pie cuz you I can't get them over there.

00:16:06

But I there there are times I I mean I

00:16:10

do look at myself and goes, "Oh my god,

00:16:11

seriously, what do people see in that?"

00:16:13

M

00:16:14

>> but you know there's that there's that

00:16:15

saying I think it's kind of a kind of a

00:16:17

punchline that you know a man is only as

00:16:19

faithful as his options and it you peak

00:16:22

Robbie Mangvera like there would have

00:16:23

been unlimited options it would I'm not

00:16:25

excusing I'm not excusing your poor

00:16:27

behavior

00:16:28

>> no I'm not excusing but yeah it's

00:16:30

surprising I was surprised by that too

00:16:33

>> so what does life look like in LA now

00:16:35

where do you live are you Silver Lake

00:16:37

>> I'm near Silver Lake I'm in Ktown career

00:16:39

town

00:16:39

>> you enjoy it

00:16:40

>> love it surprised me it really surprised

00:16:43

me. Um

00:16:46

uh because my my partner I actually met

00:16:49

my partner on the show that I did and so

00:16:53

one of the other main reasons for me

00:16:54

moving over there was because of it. It

00:16:56

was just great timing.

00:16:57

>> Is this the show Rescue High Surf?

00:16:59

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So at the time when

00:17:00

she worked it was it was a pilot called

00:17:02

Kenoi Road

00:17:03

>> for HBO. So that HBO didn't pick it up.

00:17:07

So there was a a lal and then the

00:17:10

production shopped it out and that's

00:17:13

when Fox came on and then turned it into

00:17:15

Rescue High Surf but I met my current

00:17:17

partner on Canoi Road.

00:17:20

>> So and we did the long distance things

00:17:22

for 2 years

00:17:24

and uh and then 2023 I moved over when

00:17:28

um yeah before before 20 yeah before

00:17:32

rescue

00:17:33

>> and I love it. I was surprised by that.

00:17:35

But I think what it is, why I love it is

00:17:37

because she's taken away the guessing

00:17:38

game because I remember flying into LA

00:17:41

so you know the amount of times I have

00:17:43

flown into LA and you said it's so [ __ ]

00:17:46

vast.

00:17:47

>> It's massive.

00:17:48

>> It's massive and it's it's it's it

00:17:50

freaks me out every time. But now I look

00:17:52

down go that's home. That's that's home

00:17:54

for me. And it was just recently that I

00:17:55

started calling LA home

00:17:57

>> because for a long time I just called

00:17:59

>> um uh NZ home.

00:18:01

Do you is there a Kiwi contingent there

00:18:03

that you

00:18:04

>> There is there's uh Frankie Adams. She

00:18:06

lives in Silver Lake. And then there's

00:18:09

Ra and Grace Palmer who live in Los.

00:18:14

Um that's and that's that's it. And then

00:18:17

I've got another friend Tongen uh Tongen

00:18:20

actor Ulie. He lives in the in the

00:18:23

valley. So they are that's all I want. I

00:18:26

don't want any more Kiwis in that. Oh,

00:18:27

and um um my mate uh Vanessa uh Kada,

00:18:31

she's been there for a few years. She's

00:18:32

a st auntie.

00:18:34

>> So that's about it really.

00:18:36

>> That's wonderful.

00:18:37

>> Yeah.

00:18:38

>> All right. Should we go back to the

00:18:39

early years?

00:18:39

>> Let's do it.

00:18:40

>> Yeah. Should we?

00:18:41

>> Yeah.

00:18:41

>> Okay. So May 21st, 1972.

00:18:44

>> Yeah. Came into the world.

00:18:46

>> So you're born in Wellington.

00:18:47

>> Born in Wally.

00:18:48

>> There for 5 years. And then you moved

00:18:50

back to Sour. Yeah.

00:18:52

>> And then back to New Zealand when you

00:18:53

were about 10.

00:18:54

>> Yeah. Yeah.

00:18:55

>> Why? Dad.

00:18:57

>> Okay.

00:18:57

>> Uh, dad was offered a job as a bank

00:18:59

manager over there. I think so. I hope I

00:19:02

think dad will be watching this. Correct

00:19:04

me, but I'm going to say bank manager.

00:19:06

So, we went back. And also, I think

00:19:09

God, I should have checked with dad

00:19:10

about this. Um, also, dad had this uh uh

00:19:14

had asthma, so it was he was really

00:19:17

affected by the climate here. So,

00:19:18

possibly that was one of the reasons we

00:19:20

left, but I know that he got a a job

00:19:22

back there and he wanted to go home. So,

00:19:24

we all went back.

00:19:25

>> M. Wow. Me, Steve, Mickey, and then the

00:19:29

twins came later. Yeah. During there,

00:19:32

>> that must have been a weird time. So,

00:19:33

you you're born in New Zealand 5 years.

00:19:35

What memories do you have of those first

00:19:36

five years?

00:19:37

>> My memory Well, cuz I born here,

00:19:41

first language was English. We went over

00:19:45

to Sam Moore and my fondest memory of

00:19:49

was uh just living in a shack was

00:19:53

basically a shack because what had

00:19:55

happened was dad got given a little bit

00:19:56

of land um in in Up which is to a place

00:20:00

called Tapur which is what poor's um

00:20:03

named after.

00:20:06

So there was nothing it was just bush.

00:20:07

So dad built this little shack, but I

00:20:09

remember it was just like, you know, um

00:20:11

it was just candle and us around,

00:20:15

you know, it was just um this freaking

00:20:17

simple shack that dad built just so we

00:20:19

can live there. And then throughout the

00:20:21

throughout the years, he just worked on

00:20:22

the land and planted uh cocoa,

00:20:26

but our Yeah. Yeah. And also uh walking

00:20:30

to school. So we used our house used to

00:20:33

be out out the place called Tanapur and

00:20:36

we used to walk to the nearest bus stop

00:20:39

was probably about a 40 to 45 minute

00:20:42

walk catch the bus go to school come

00:20:45

back and then

00:20:47

at it again but when I left there I lost

00:20:50

the English and I was fluent in Sour. So

00:20:56

>> yeah. What was that like coming back to

00:20:57

New Zealand at 10? That must have been

00:20:58

quite the culture shock.

00:21:01

I was teased a lot.

00:21:05

But

00:21:06

but you know what I do remember was um

00:21:09

when we got off the plane the

00:21:10

escalators.

00:21:12

I've never seen an escalator before.

00:21:15

And I went

00:21:18

I go, "Wow, what is this

00:21:21

>> magic staircase?

00:21:22

>> It's magic staircase."

00:21:24

I just it took it took me a while to get

00:21:26

on it, but once I was on it, it was like

00:21:30

whoa,

00:21:31

>> what the hell?

00:21:32

>> But I hadn't. So, we came back here. We

00:21:34

spent a little bit of time in

00:21:35

Oakuckland. And then we moved down to

00:21:37

Wellington, and we stayed with my

00:21:38

cousins

00:21:39

>> and we shared the house with them. They

00:21:41

had a three-bedroom place, three-bedroom

00:21:43

place, and there was four of them and

00:21:45

five of us. So, all the boys about two

00:21:49

two of the eldest were in one room, and

00:21:51

then all the rest of the boys would be

00:21:52

in one room. and and then mom and dad

00:21:55

and one. Yeah. But it was

00:22:00

I the the throughout the time my cousin

00:22:02

my actually my best mate as well um was

00:22:04

the one that actually slowly taught me

00:22:06

how to speak English kind of thing

00:22:08

>> but it came back again because of that

00:22:10

memory thing.

00:22:11

>> Muscle memory.

00:22:12

>> Yeah. Muscle memory.

00:22:13

>> Um and is this when you were embarrassed

00:22:15

about your nose and you wanted like a

00:22:16

skinny pangy nose?

00:22:19

>> Yeah.

00:22:19

>> Yeah.

00:22:20

>> It's terrible. That's really [ __ ]

00:22:21

sad.

00:22:21

>> That's [ __ ] up. Hey, sorry. Am I

00:22:23

allowed to swear?

00:22:24

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But when when when you

00:22:26

when you when you hear that or you Yeah.

00:22:29

think back to that, does it does it make

00:22:30

you sense

00:22:31

>> coming to school? Yeah. Hell yeah.

00:22:33

>> Yeah.

00:22:34

>> Hell yeah. Cuz I going to school cuz I

00:22:37

was also also getting teased, you know,

00:22:40

and there's I what at the time I didn't

00:22:42

think it was racism, but it was. And

00:22:44

then thinking back and go, [ __ ] that is

00:22:46

that that is quite full. But I remember

00:22:49

just the kids as I was looking all those

00:22:51

Balangi kids and all this perfect pointy

00:22:53

nose and I remember used to be in the

00:22:55

mirror just going like this. How do I

00:22:57

make my nose that pointy

00:22:59

>> for for for a long time?

00:23:02

>> It's sad.

00:23:03

>> Yeah. I just And then Yeah.

00:23:05

>> And your your parents are still alive.

00:23:07

They're they're in New Zealand at the

00:23:08

moment, but they they're sour based.

00:23:10

>> Yeah, they are sore based. Mom and dad

00:23:12

always wanted to go back to Sour when

00:23:13

their kids grew up and stuff like that.

00:23:15

So they now live in Sammore full-time.

00:23:17

They're currently here at the moment for

00:23:19

health reasons. So I uh if if that gets

00:23:23

cleared, they'll go back to

00:23:24

>> Samour.

00:23:26

>> Uh and uh yeah, at the moment I'm I'm

00:23:30

dealing with the family is dealing with

00:23:33

mom's dementia.

00:23:35

>> Um

00:23:36

>> so that's been tough. That's been tough.

00:23:38

But this time, this time around here, I

00:23:40

came back to give my brother uh who

00:23:42

lives up in Lee and uh who has been uh

00:23:45

her and um him and his partner have been

00:23:46

absolutely fantastic in terms of looking

00:23:48

after mom. But our my hero is my sister

00:23:52

who decided to um give up her work just

00:23:56

to look after mom and dad full-time. And

00:23:58

it's yeah, it's been a it's been a

00:24:00

godsend.

00:24:01

>> So, she's been amazing. So, mom and dad

00:24:04

are is here at the moment. He said has

00:24:05

had surgery had infection in his

00:24:08

prostate. So that's all should be

00:24:10

cleared. So one day clear they go back.

00:24:12

But mom at the moment Yeah. We're just

00:24:14

going through that man. It's it's it's

00:24:16

tough to see my

00:24:18

>> I call her my superhero. She's my

00:24:19

superhero.

00:24:20

>> Yeah. I've got that got that written

00:24:21

down here. Yeah. So she was Yeah. Yeah.

00:24:23

Tell us about your mom. So she's a

00:24:24

cleaner. She was a cleaner.

00:24:25

>> She was a cleaner for a very long time.

00:24:26

>> When was the last time you had uh some

00:24:28

of her chicken curry?

00:24:30

>> A long time really

00:24:31

>> that she cooked cuz she can't remember

00:24:33

how to cook it now. It was a very long

00:24:35

time ago I had it probably about

00:24:38

um

00:24:40

yeah probably go about six years ago,

00:24:42

six or seven years ago I last had her.

00:24:44

>> Oh, she really no good now.

00:24:46

>> Um she she knows who we are but uh her

00:24:50

long short-term memory is gone. Like you

00:24:52

tell her one thing. I mean, you know,

00:24:54

you tell her something and she'd be gone

00:24:56

like that.

00:24:56

>> How old is she?

00:24:57

>> She's young, too. She's

00:24:59

>> I'm sorry, Mom. Sorry, Dad. Uh 74. 75.

00:25:03

Yeah,

00:25:04

>> that is young on the big SK.

00:25:05

>> That is young. Yeah.

00:25:06

>> And she's tough too. She's strong and

00:25:09

that's a and that's the the depressing

00:25:11

thing is she's still apart from the

00:25:13

arthritis she's yet and keeping she's

00:25:14

strong,

00:25:15

>> you know, physically stronger. Dad is a

00:25:17

little bit more frail.

00:25:20

But he he he he will get there. But

00:25:22

yeah, it's just that's that's being

00:25:25

around that has been tough. It's been

00:25:27

really really tough. just I mean there

00:25:29

were time like there were there were

00:25:32

times that I'll be just sitting there

00:25:33

she'll be there and I know she's not

00:25:36

she's not there. M

00:25:40

>> so um seeing this woman that was just

00:25:44

fearless um funny um caring loving

00:25:49

just all that gone you know I I um I'm

00:25:53

I'm very much like my mom and and I was

00:25:56

just watching her just watching TV and I

00:25:58

know I you know I know she was lost in

00:26:00

there it's just like every time I do

00:26:02

look at her it's just yeah it it breaks

00:26:05

my heart but

00:26:08

you know, I I'm I'm I'm grateful that

00:26:12

she still knows who I am. She still

00:26:14

knows who my brothers are, my sister,

00:26:16

dad.

00:26:17

Um, you know, so I'm grateful for that.

00:26:21

And I hope, you know, I hope she's that,

00:26:23

you know, to the the day she leaves, she

00:26:25

still remembers who we are.

00:26:27

>> So, yeah, it's been tough. It's been

00:26:29

tough. And then, you know, even tougher

00:26:31

when [ __ ] we went to look at a home,

00:26:32

possible home for her. That was first

00:26:35

time I've been in a home. [ __ ]

00:26:38

Heartbreaking, man. Just seems

00:26:40

>> cuz it represents the loss of

00:26:41

independence.

00:26:42

>> Independence. But even the people that

00:26:43

were in there, you know, that was just

00:26:45

cuz it was a

00:26:46

>> Yeah. You're going there, you're going

00:26:47

there to die, aren't you? It's

00:26:49

>> Yeah. And it was just like, oh [ __ ] And

00:26:51

I just watching these people just sit

00:26:53

there watching these, you know, people

00:26:56

who had lives and just sitting there.

00:27:00

That's their day. just sitting there,

00:27:02

you know, and and you know, and the

00:27:05

reality is it, you know,

00:27:09

>> we they need that, you know, they they

00:27:11

they need that otherwise, but it was

00:27:13

just Yeah, it was uh it was definitely

00:27:16

it was definitely Yeah, definitely. So,

00:27:19

>> um did you get have you got the chance

00:27:21

to have all the conversations with your

00:27:23

mom that you needed to and say the

00:27:24

things you needed to while she was still

00:27:26

able to comprehend? Um, I mean I've I've

00:27:29

heard you talk about her like on on

00:27:30

other podcasts and read some interviews

00:27:32

and you speak.

00:27:33

>> I no

00:27:36

>> uh I think probably

00:27:40

uh probably leading uh probably 2018 was

00:27:44

probably the or 2019 just after 2019 I

00:27:47

had a conversation with her and then it

00:27:49

just and I also think that um

00:27:53

uh the passing of my bro accelerated

00:27:56

that for her. Um, so,

00:27:58

>> oh, how could it not?

00:28:00

>> Yeah. So, but to answer your question,

00:28:02

it's a really, which is a really good

00:28:04

question. I don't know the last time I

00:28:05

had a proper conversation with she

00:28:07

understood what I said. You know,

00:28:10

>> it was a long time ago.

00:28:11

>> Yeah.

00:28:11

>> Yeah.

00:28:13

>> Um, or the tears before I I think they

00:28:16

just show how much you care and the

00:28:17

impact, which I think is a good thing,

00:28:19

right?

00:28:20

>> Yeah. She's my she's she's my hero.

00:28:22

She's my absolute hero, you know. Um,

00:28:25

and you know, dad, and it's funny cuz

00:28:28

later on I, you know, I', you know, this

00:28:31

dad made some silly mistakes, but I

00:28:34

forgiven him for that. And

00:28:36

>> and I'm Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now it's just

00:28:39

like I I

00:28:42

can see I've seen my dad in a in a new

00:28:44

light now, you know, the the care and

00:28:47

love that I have for him cuz I blamed

00:28:48

him for a lot of things which I don't,

00:28:50

you know, without getting into it.

00:28:52

>> We don't need to get into the weeds.

00:28:53

Yeah, I've heard I think it was the

00:28:54

mandate podcast or another interview

00:28:56

where you

00:28:57

>> did he ever hear that? Like you called

00:28:58

him a a dreamer. Um and you said there's

00:29:02

a family joke like don't get in the trap

00:29:04

and the trap is like a one-on-one

00:29:06

conversation cuz

00:29:07

>> my my dad seriously like I who was it

00:29:10

>> for a long time like he loves to chat

00:29:13

about things and I

00:29:15

>> we all know someone like that.

00:29:16

>> Yeah. And I like now I appreciate that.

00:29:19

But I remember my mates would come we

00:29:21

know you when I was when when I was a

00:29:22

teenager my mates would come around and

00:29:24

I will always say to dude don't don't

00:29:26

get caught in this cuz one year once you

00:29:29

get caught mate that's it I can't help

00:29:31

you you're on your OWN

00:29:35

and few of my mates have been caught and

00:29:37

they'll be give me the go told you told

00:29:40

you I walk away from it

00:29:42

>> but who was it it was like I caught up

00:29:44

with a good friend of mine last night

00:29:46

and dad had written a post the thing is

00:29:48

with dad he's so articulate.

00:29:51

He's so articulate. And I think my

00:29:52

brother Mickey has got a little bit of

00:29:54

dad, you know, he's he's proud of the

00:29:58

fact that he was the only one in his

00:30:00

family that went to university and he

00:30:03

did. And he he's proud of that. But I

00:30:06

also think he's he's a lot more what I

00:30:11

feel bad about now is I wish I'd

00:30:13

listened to him a lot a lot more about

00:30:16

the cuz he's got such

00:30:19

such knowledge in in his brain which I

00:30:22

now am trying to get him and I think all

00:30:24

of us are saying to him, "Dad, you need

00:30:26

to write all that down." So he wants me

00:30:28

to buy him a computer, a laptop so he

00:30:30

can buy all that cuz

00:30:31

>> he's got this history of our, you know,

00:30:34

a knowledge and history of our family

00:30:36

that no one else knows about.

00:30:39

>> And I said to him, put that down, you

00:30:41

know, put that down. And I never used to

00:30:42

appreciate that, but now I I appreciate

00:30:46

him for that. And

00:30:47

>> it's just 10 times he's a million times

00:30:49

more articulate than I am than I am.

00:30:52

>> But he love, you know,

00:30:53

>> that's good. I I think you get to that

00:30:55

point um in life are where you realize

00:30:57

that yeah your parents regardless of how

00:30:59

awesome or how [ __ ] up they were they

00:31:00

doing the best they could.

00:31:01

>> They did. They did. And I Yeah.

00:31:03

>> You know your kids in their in their mid

00:31:06

to late 20s now. They probably got some

00:31:08

chip on their shoulder about how

00:31:09

>> Oh, hell yeah. My son has. He's even

00:31:11

told me.

00:31:14

>> I said, "Oh, that's just part of it.

00:31:16

Sorry, son. But that's just part of it."

00:31:17

Yeah.

00:31:18

>> But yeah, no, I Yeah, I I really

00:31:20

appreciate the old man now, you know,

00:31:23

>> and I and that's the one thing I see. We

00:31:25

had that someone else is telling me the

00:31:27

thing is as growing up, we had five

00:31:29

boys. There was five boys in our family

00:31:30

and then my sister came later on. But

00:31:32

during that time, we never went hungry.

00:31:36

>> Never. We were always clothed. We had a

00:31:39

roof under. We were never struggling. We

00:31:41

I I never saw that. There was always

00:31:43

food there. So, so and plus with

00:31:47

everything else.

00:31:50

So, I thank I thank my parents for that.

00:31:52

I had a good life as a kid, you know.

00:31:55

You know, this [ __ ] happens, but that's

00:31:57

with any other family. But

00:31:59

>> I I remember looking back and go, you

00:32:01

know what? I never we never struggled.

00:32:03

Mom and dad, if I ask for money, mom and

00:32:04

dad will always have money for me for

00:32:06

for school and stuff like that. I always

00:32:08

there was never a trip I couldn't go

00:32:10

because we couldn't afford it,

00:32:11

>> you know. We were always we always had

00:32:13

school uniform, you know, we always fed.

00:32:16

So I said and I never kind of realized

00:32:19

that until I spoke about it with someone

00:32:22

else the other day,

00:32:23

>> you know, and it was actually my mate

00:32:25

last night I was talking to and he was

00:32:27

saying, you know, saying, "Man, he your

00:32:29

dad is so is very articulate. Like my

00:32:31

dad and my other brother Tanu are very

00:32:34

art and my Mickey actually are very very

00:32:37

articulate.

00:32:38

>> I missed out on that boat. I also missed

00:32:40

I also missed out

00:32:42

>> I also missed out on rhythm. I don't

00:32:44

have rhythm.

00:32:47

>> I just missed I missed everything.

00:32:50

>> You've mentioned your brother Mickey a

00:32:51

few times. Um yeah.

00:32:53

>> Yeah. A little sidebar here. So he's in

00:32:54

the industry as well. Um he made one of

00:32:56

the greatest movies of 2025 in New

00:32:58

Zealand.

00:32:59

>> Yep.

00:33:00

>> He should have won the award for best

00:33:01

film.

00:33:02

>> This is Tina.

00:33:03

>> I'm saying it.

00:33:04

>> How how do I say it? I'm saying

00:33:05

>> Tina Tina Tina which is mother.

00:33:07

>> Yeah. Yeah. about some old music teacher

00:33:09

in Christ Church during the the

00:33:10

earthquakes.

00:33:11

>> I had I think it was the leader of the

00:33:13

opposition, Chris Hipkins, on the

00:33:15

podcast this year. I asked him when the

00:33:16

last time he cried was and he said it

00:33:17

was watching that movie. So I I got it

00:33:19

on Apple that night and um if you watch

00:33:22

that movie and you don't cry, like you

00:33:24

need to get a medical checkup.

00:33:25

>> Dude, I've seen it like six times and

00:33:27

every time I cry every time. I remember

00:33:29

seeing it for the first time actually.

00:33:31

It was me, mom, dad, and my daughter

00:33:33

Sophie. I bled my eyes out and I yeah I

00:33:39

am so sorry pardon me so so proud of him

00:33:43

cuz I know also that he has he's had to

00:33:46

fight to get to where he is now. I know

00:33:48

for a long time he was in in the uh

00:33:50

advertising industry and he worked for a

00:33:53

production company for a very long time

00:33:55

and he just bit his time kind of thing

00:33:57

and he wanted to create his whole dream

00:34:00

was to become a movie a filmmaker

00:34:03

>> and he did that you know but I know the

00:34:06

road I know how hard it was for him to

00:34:08

get to where he is now just watching

00:34:10

people surpass him and not you know not

00:34:14

realizing that dude you're letting other

00:34:17

people surpass a guy that's actually

00:34:18

better than these guys.

00:34:20

>> So for him to you know the thing is with

00:34:24

Tina it was never expected to get a

00:34:26

Aussie release

00:34:28

and then when I got Aussie release on

00:34:30

top of that they got a US release. So it

00:34:34

you know it weighed way beyond anything

00:34:37

that he he had ever expected. But it was

00:34:39

also the the wonderful thing about Tina

00:34:41

is it brought families back to the

00:34:43

theater come you know they're struggling

00:34:45

to get numbers in there but Tina brought

00:34:47

everyone back in there

00:34:49

>> you know

00:34:51

how did you feel when you watched it

00:34:53

knowing um knowing it was your brother

00:34:54

is the brains behind it but also I

00:34:56

suppose on a deeper level that someone

00:34:58

like me watching it couldn't see um you

00:35:00

may recognize some of the characters

00:35:02

potentially I don't know

00:35:03

>> um

00:35:06

I I mean I re I I I mean there was a

00:35:08

little bit mom and Annabella's um um

00:35:11

character. I mean I I think as

00:35:15

I was going to say um PI, but I think

00:35:17

there's in all society there is there's

00:35:21

that person in our lives, you know, um

00:35:23

Anabella's character. Um

00:35:27

but in terms of

00:35:29

anything relating to my me personally,

00:35:31

probably not. Yeah. Yeah.

00:35:33

>> I was just Yeah.

00:35:35

>> So your introduction to acting Yeah.

00:35:38

you. What did you want to be when you

00:35:39

were in secondary school? What did you

00:35:40

want to be?

00:35:42

>> Did you want to be a pro rugby player?

00:35:43

>> I wanted to be a dancer

00:35:46

>> like for for who?

00:35:47

>> I didn't know.

00:35:48

>> I'm just trying to think who was um who

00:35:50

would have been a big artist at like MC

00:35:51

a dance for MC Hammer.

00:35:53

>> No, I never I've got no rhythm. Um do

00:35:56

you know the the it it all started I

00:35:58

think it all started when I was uh

00:36:02

primary school.

00:36:04

We got up, the seed was um uh planted

00:36:09

when we got up.

00:36:10

>> Strathmore Primary.

00:36:11

>> Strathmore Primary School.

00:36:13

>> And I got up and made people laugh and I

00:36:15

thought, "Oh, this is cool. What's this

00:36:16

all about?" And then that's when it's

00:36:19

kind of And then during that period, I

00:36:21

was I ended up uh where was I? I was at

00:36:24

St. Pat St. Pat's Town in Wellington.

00:36:28

And my drama teacher said,

00:36:31

my drama teacher said, "Look, my my cast

00:36:33

teammate's looking for two Polynesian

00:36:35

for this this ad." So, me and my mate,

00:36:37

me, my mate Null, and uh Henry went to

00:36:40

audition for it.

00:36:41

>> Did you Did you listen to that?

00:36:43

>> Yeah, I did. I tried to find the ad.

00:36:45

There's a couple of different stories

00:36:46

online. Someone said it's an ad for a

00:36:49

national party recruiting new cops.

00:36:52

>> Yeah. No, no, no, no, it wasn't. It

00:36:53

wasn't. The one was is um the Labour

00:36:55

Party brought this thing about going

00:36:57

back to school. Um so that the ad was

00:37:00

all about that. So it was three it was

00:37:02

all these students walking down a

00:37:04

corridor and each room each room is

00:37:07

possibly your career, you know. So you

00:37:09

could be a builder here and then open

00:37:11

another door, you could be a plumber

00:37:13

there. So I was one of the the the boys

00:37:15

in there. But I remember the the

00:37:17

audition

00:37:20

just over.

00:37:22

So they what was it on the audition?

00:37:24

They said to it, "Okay, well I want you

00:37:25

guys to imagine that you're going down

00:37:26

this corridor and every time you see

00:37:28

every time a door opens up to a

00:37:30

classroom, you're just like, "Wow, get

00:37:32

excited about it." So three of us filmed

00:37:35

us. Soon we started like that. As soon

00:37:38

as it happened, it was just like it took

00:37:39

over. It's like, "Wow, wow." one night

00:37:43

and my teammates are going

00:37:46

WOW

00:37:50

like Disney's job

00:37:52

desperate to be but I didn't even know

00:37:54

it's just when they said action going

00:37:57

this is me yeah wow

00:38:00

>> and I remember them on the bus they were

00:38:01

really quiet I said what's wrong with

00:38:03

you guys he goes yeah you know

00:38:05

>> we didn't even get a chance to audition

00:38:06

cuz someone was always in front of the

00:38:08

camera they hugged the whole camera end

00:38:09

up getting the ad but that was it I

00:38:11

turned up to see it and I said, "Hey,

00:38:12

how do I get more work like this?" Said,

00:38:14

"Get an agent. Look up the yellow uh

00:38:16

white pages.

00:38:17

Double happy." Went and saw them and my

00:38:21

career started from there.

00:38:22

>> Wow. Did you Did your paths cross with

00:38:24

Tika? You're a similar age. He would

00:38:26

have been in Wellington at the same

00:38:27

time.

00:38:27

>> Strip together,

00:38:28

>> right?

00:38:28

>> The strip. You

00:38:30

>> Oh, the strip. Oh, you're with um Jody

00:38:32

Rimmer.

00:38:32

>> Jody Rimmer. Lan Gordon.

00:38:36

Who else was there? Yeah. Dave Farney.

00:38:39

Um yeah, we crossed paths in the second

00:38:41

season of the strip. He was one of the

00:38:43

strippers,

00:38:45

>> was he?

00:38:46

>> Yeah.

00:38:47

>> I have to dish look it up.

00:38:48

>> That's got to be on screen or somewhere

00:38:50

to probably No. No. Um so that's when we

00:38:53

cross with me and um mentioning

00:38:58

each other. But then we also when the

00:39:00

naked sours would do the Edinburgh

00:39:02

festival, the Eden comedy festival um

00:39:05

Jermaine, Brett and Tika were there. for

00:39:09

the same time as well. So, we kind of

00:39:11

went around supporting each other's

00:39:12

acts. So, we've known each Yeah. And

00:39:14

then, you know, working with Jermaine

00:39:16

when we did skits way back then for

00:39:18

Gibson Group.

00:39:20

>> So, we've known each other for a little

00:39:22

bit. They just they're more successful

00:39:24

than some of us.

00:39:25

>> Yeah.

00:39:26

>> You can't get into his skated community

00:39:28

now.

00:39:30

>> Dude, can I tell you a story about Tao?

00:39:32

>> Yes, please.

00:39:34

>> Super Bowl. One of the Super Bowl. It

00:39:36

was in LA

00:39:38

and I was there at the time seeing my

00:39:41

girlfriend at the time and we planned

00:39:44

and me me and my girlfriend's planned or

00:39:45

we just go to a bar and watch um Super

00:39:47

Bowl. I was staying at this hotel. Get a

00:39:50

text from a man. He goes, "Bro, what are

00:39:52

you doing?" "Oh, nothing much. Why? What

00:39:55

are you doing for Super Bowl?" I said,

00:39:57

"I was just going to watch at the bar."

00:39:59

And he goes, "Do you want tickets?"

00:40:05

I said I show my gift ticket to Super

00:40:09

Bowl

00:40:10

and he goes, "Uh, yeah, if you're giving

00:40:12

them away." Go, "Sweet. We got tickets

00:40:14

for you." He sent me two tickets to

00:40:15

Super Bowl. That's when the Rams won in

00:40:18

LA, dude. And these seats were right in

00:40:21

front. So, I got to see um uh Snoop

00:40:25

Dogg, um Dr. Dre, all those guys at

00:40:29

Halime. It was unreal.

00:40:32

And he had to say, "What a dude." And I

00:40:34

said, "Fuck."

00:40:36

Super Bowl. I thought I was in

00:40:38

dreamland. I was just like my my

00:40:40

girlfriend at the time, what the [ __ ]

00:40:43

>> Why did he not Did he have something

00:40:45

else on?

00:40:45

>> He had spare tickets.

00:40:46

>> Spare tickets.

00:40:48

>> Got spare tickets.

00:40:48

>> No, I think I think it was his tickets,

00:40:52

>> but his retita had tickets as well. So,

00:40:55

he had two tickets spare. So, it was

00:40:57

just like, "Dude, what are you doing?"

00:40:58

It was just that classic. Hey bro, what

00:40:59

are you doing? Nothing. You want two

00:41:01

tickets? Two tickets in a super bowl.

00:41:03

>> Oh, that's so awesome.

00:41:04

>> [ __ ]

00:41:05

>> When did you realize When did you

00:41:07

realize it could be a viable career?

00:41:10

>> When I did commercials,

00:41:12

>> commercials back then paid big big

00:41:14

money. I scored a lotto strike. When the

00:41:18

lotto strike first came out, I was the

00:41:20

face of it. So, I was this guy that hit

00:41:22

a strike went out. So, um, and I got big

00:41:26

money for that. How much?

00:41:29

>> I think we're between the thousands. I

00:41:30

think probably for for a kid at school I

00:41:33

think of probably about 8 grand or some

00:41:35

[ __ ] And that's and that's a lot. And I

00:41:37

thought [ __ ] this is a

00:41:39

>> So I never went into it. I mean it's it

00:41:43

was the money thing for me when it first

00:41:45

started off. But then as you know as I

00:41:47

went on it was just like I started to

00:41:48

appreciate the art.

00:41:50

>> Yeah. I've heard you talk about it um

00:41:52

just about how much you love theater.

00:41:54

But theater is almost like a hobby or a

00:41:55

passion project, but it's the ads and

00:41:57

the other things that pay the bills.

00:41:59

>> I first I first my first my first

00:42:01

theater was with um a good friend of

00:42:03

mine uh Victor Roger.

00:42:06

>> Um I actually did one for who was it?

00:42:09

Circa down there, but I don't count that

00:42:11

one.

00:42:13

>> Why?

00:42:15

Cuz I was just a toen brown guy. They

00:42:17

came on, had sex with a white woman, and

00:42:19

then that was it.

00:42:24

That was basically it. I came on stage,

00:42:27

you know, nothing on, just ear love,

00:42:30

have sex with her, and it goes and see

00:42:32

that was me. So, I don't count that one,

00:42:34

but

00:42:38

you hunk reputation thing. Has that been

00:42:41

good or bad?

00:42:44

>> How do I answer that? It's helped. It's

00:42:48

helped. For a long time, I was the guy

00:42:49

that get your [ __ ] off. I was the get

00:42:51

your [ __ ] off guy for a very long time.

00:42:53

Now I'm old. I said this [ __ ] shirt's

00:42:55

staying on.

00:42:58

>> This shirt is freaking staying on.

00:43:00

>> Yeah, it's someone else's turn.

00:43:01

>> Someone else has too. But but yeah.

00:43:04

>> Um what's the hardest thing about um the

00:43:07

acting industry that people outside

00:43:08

don't get to see? I feel like you sort

00:43:09

of alluded before with that quote before

00:43:12

about people think you're you're rich or

00:43:13

this.

00:43:15

>> I mean, put it this way. 2024 I 2024 I

00:43:20

landed uh rescue high surf

00:43:22

>> right

00:43:23

>> and for so many years just that was the

00:43:26

pinnacle was to get work in US right and

00:43:29

then I land that and think

00:43:32

okay if this all goes well there'd be a

00:43:34

second season third season fourth season

00:43:36

blah blah blah financially that's pretty

00:43:38

good

00:43:39

we go

00:43:42

we do the first season and then we get

00:43:45

cancelled and we don't get again. So,

00:43:47

it's back to the drawing board. It's I'm

00:43:49

a little bit used to it now because I'm

00:43:51

a little bit smarter with my money to

00:43:53

help with people that are good with

00:43:54

money, but it's it's a I have a lovehate

00:43:59

relationship with what I do. I couldn't

00:44:01

see myself doing anything else.

00:44:03

>> But it like for example, this year I've

00:44:06

done one job, but that's in New Zealand,

00:44:08

you know, other than that, nothing else.

00:44:10

So, I've just had to just depend. The

00:44:13

whole thing is about saving money,

00:44:14

making sure that you can survive another

00:44:16

year, another year. Now it's all about

00:44:18

topping up that little

00:44:19

>> cup of

00:44:21

>> But it's a [ __ ] It's a It's When it

00:44:24

rains, it pours and when it's good, it's

00:44:26

fantastic. But now I'm at that point now

00:44:29

where I can sit back and I've got things

00:44:32

that keep me occupied as well. You know,

00:44:34

like I love motorcycles. I love riding

00:44:36

motorcycles. I've got my friends here um

00:44:39

that I was which is the one of the main

00:44:42

reasons I come back here all the time

00:44:43

cuz all my close mates are are still

00:44:45

here.

00:44:46

>> So it's I've gotten used to it. I've

00:44:48

gotten used but it's a shift.

00:44:50

>> It's stressful living. Yeah.

00:44:51

>> Oh my god. There's that saying this too

00:44:54

shall pass. And it's it's true. It means

00:44:55

bad times will pass but good times will

00:44:57

pass.

00:44:58

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, cuz you I

00:45:00

mean you know you get to America and

00:45:02

money is ridiculous

00:45:03

>> when you do it and then you think okay

00:45:06

here we go but then the reality kicks in

00:45:08

again and I'm back to square one again

00:45:09

and go trying to get work you know um

00:45:12

the the the one thing I am thankful for

00:45:15

is because people know my work here.

00:45:17

There's always work here for me you know

00:45:19

and also

00:45:21

>> I have mates that are now in the

00:45:23

position where they're doing their own

00:45:24

stuff. So they'll just text me go, "Boy,

00:45:25

do you want to be on this show without

00:45:27

auditioning?" You know, there's still

00:45:29

things that I still I still have to go

00:45:31

through the whole auditioning thing. Um,

00:45:34

so it's it's it's never ending,

00:45:36

>> but I think the the the trick is to have

00:45:39

things outside of that to keep you

00:45:41

occupied so that doesn't go so that

00:45:44

doesn't drive you insane. For me is is

00:45:46

motorcycles,

00:45:47

>> right? Yeah. What do you get from

00:45:49

motorcycles?

00:45:51

>> What is it? Is it the freedom?

00:45:52

>> Freedom. Are you are you are you a loner

00:45:55

or do you just have like a like a little

00:45:56

loner part of you that needs to

00:45:59

>> I like riding. I like I I like like when

00:46:02

I first

00:46:04

took up modus Yeah. I like riding by

00:46:07

myself but I've also now got like you

00:46:10

know as you get older and I'm sure it's

00:46:12

the same with you. I have a community of

00:46:13

people that I only go to. You know, I've

00:46:16

gone to I've I've gone to a part of my

00:46:19

life that I don't need cuz I'm I was a

00:46:22

huge people pleaser.

00:46:23

>> But now it's part of my life then cuz I

00:46:25

don't need that person in my life. I

00:46:27

don't need that person, just that

00:46:28

person. And I want to be with that

00:46:30

person till I die. So I've got that

00:46:31

community here of men of guys that I

00:46:34

ride with and women. And then I got um

00:46:38

there's I don't know whether you know

00:46:39

the the Cox's Bay touch that we have. So

00:46:42

this year we had the 20th anniversary

00:46:44

>> of

00:46:46

same time, same day, rain or shine,

00:46:48

didn't matter where. And that there what

00:46:52

started off I was one of the um OGs. And

00:46:56

originally we started touch because in

00:46:59

that period of our lives, people were

00:47:00

either retiring from rugby or but we

00:47:04

needed something to do. We needed to

00:47:07

play touch to earn a beer was that whole

00:47:09

thing, you know. But now as we've gotten

00:47:12

older, it's become like a support group

00:47:14

for for for for all the boys now. You

00:47:18

know that during the 20 years, you know,

00:47:20

we've had wives, brothers, sisters that

00:47:23

have passed.

00:47:24

>> So that group there has been always

00:47:27

there. It's a support group for all the

00:47:28

boys. You know, we've had people that,

00:47:30

you know, [ __ ] had happened to them.

00:47:32

>> We said, "Bro, we're here for you. I

00:47:34

know that [ __ ] but we're here for you."

00:47:35

So there's a community of men that just

00:47:38

look out for each other and support each

00:47:39

other, which is which has been a godsend

00:47:42

for me and a lot of those guys.

00:47:44

>> Yeah. That's so powerful. It's so

00:47:45

cathartic cuz Yeah. No one gets to their

00:47:47

50s without some battle scars.

00:47:48

>> No. Oh, dude. There's some battle scars

00:47:50

in there. But what what is beautiful now

00:47:53

is our sons or the sons of the boys that

00:47:56

are there. They started playing like

00:47:57

they was playing when they were there,

00:47:59

but now they're taking on that mantle.

00:48:01

But also, I mean, we're trying to

00:48:03

encourage them that, you know, keep

00:48:06

doing this, bring more people in and

00:48:09

have it as a support group instead of

00:48:11

just having a I mean, we do have a few

00:48:12

beers and take the piss out of each

00:48:14

other. That's all part of it.

00:48:17

>> Yeah.

00:48:17

>> But when [ __ ] hits the fan, we are

00:48:19

always there. We're always there for

00:48:21

each other.

00:48:21

>> Yeah. Well, I suppose like if if if it's

00:48:23

someone that can roast you the hardest,

00:48:25

they can also love you the hardest,

00:48:26

>> dude. Yep. These guys will roast me.

00:48:29

They're terrible. But I I love it. I

00:48:32

love it because I trust them. I know

00:48:33

them. I've known them for over 20 years.

00:48:36

>> You know,

00:48:37

>> it's a good decade. E, the 50s. I I

00:48:39

reckon when I was in my 20s, I think I I

00:48:41

I thought I had it all figured out. And

00:48:42

then as you get older, you the older I

00:48:44

get to realize the the less I know.

00:48:46

>> Yeah.

00:48:47

>> And it's a good I like it.

00:48:49

>> Where you What What 50s are you?

00:48:50

>> 52.

00:48:51

>> 52.

00:48:52

>> What are you? It's

00:48:53

>> 53.

00:48:53

>> Yeah. Why do you look so much better?

00:48:56

>> It's the mo I use this moisturizer. It's

00:48:59

called Forever Youthful.

00:49:01

I'm going to buy that chemistry house.

00:49:04

Where is it?

00:49:05

>> Warehouse. Warehouse.

00:49:06

>> Yeah. Um, I got some Jeez. There's so

00:49:10

much deep stuff here. It's really good,

00:49:11

but I feel like I need a few acting

00:49:12

questions in here as well. Um, so Lord

00:49:14

of the Rings, that was one of your big

00:49:15

early projects that you were on.

00:49:17

>> Yeah.

00:49:17

>> Yeah. How what was that experience like?

00:49:19

>> I remember the first I was actually

00:49:21

telling who was I was telling my niece

00:49:22

about this. Um, it was me and Nathaniel

00:49:25

Lee, another um Polynesian actor, great

00:49:28

actor. He lives down in Wellington, but

00:49:30

we were the or uh was it the Urukai?

00:49:33

Urukai, I think we were. And we're down

00:49:36

in Wellington. I remember the first time

00:49:38

we were on on the chair. I remember we

00:49:40

it was like 4:00 we got picked up and

00:49:42

then we were on the chair

00:49:45

4:30 or something or 5:00 and I remember

00:49:48

just getting there and I just fell

00:49:49

asleep and they just went

00:49:52

woke up about 3 hours later. Didn't even

00:49:55

[ __ ] recognize myself. I freaked out

00:49:57

because all the prosthetic and stuff,

00:50:00

>> but I um I mean I I only had a small

00:50:04

role in that and but I I do remember we

00:50:07

were filming down in the South Island

00:50:10

and we me and uh Nathaniel were put up

00:50:14

in this um uh homestead in Alexandra, I

00:50:18

think it was. I think it might have been

00:50:20

Alexandra.

00:50:23

I swear we turned up so they knew that.

00:50:26

So the production booked. They go,

00:50:27

"We've got two actors out staying with

00:50:29

you." They got all excited.

00:50:33

We turn up in the van. We open the door.

00:50:38

Dude, this woman that owned it was

00:50:40

shocked to see two Polynesians. Okay.

00:50:42

She just went, "Oh, hello."

00:50:48

Cuz I think she thought that was just

00:50:50

like these, you know, these. You

00:50:52

remember is it Siri and Melan is it is

00:50:54

it

00:50:56

Orlando and there was just these two two

00:50:58

star boys. HEY

00:51:03

>> oh welcome welcome.

00:51:06

>> But we had it was just me and Nat and

00:51:08

this freaking flash place and then like

00:51:10

you know we bottle wine took it down to

00:51:13

the pool watch the stars. I mean the spa

00:51:15

we just drank it. They I mean they they

00:51:18

were great but I think they were just

00:51:19

shocked to see

00:51:21

them color people

00:51:24

>> in the South Island

00:51:27

people.

00:51:28

>> So um did you have anything to do with

00:51:30

Sir Peter Jackson or is the project so

00:51:32

big that

00:51:32

>> No, actually we did. There was one we

00:51:34

shot in Wellington. It was a warehouse

00:51:35

in Wellington and he flew in from the

00:51:37

South Island I think filmed because two

00:51:40

of the main characters the the were in

00:51:43

that scene. So he flew in and we were in

00:51:46

the background.

00:51:47

>> Um I never had anything cuz I was just

00:51:49

in the you know I was just in the

00:51:51

background kind of extra. So a lot of

00:51:53

the scenes were just with him and the

00:51:55

main cast.

00:51:56

>> So that was my only interaction

00:51:57

>> with Peter Jackson. Then I think

00:51:59

>> finished that and flew back down to to

00:52:01

South.

00:52:03

>> Naked some Owens is a a project that's

00:52:05

been another big part of your career.

00:52:06

For anyone that's not familiar with

00:52:07

Naked Sons, how would you how would you

00:52:09

describe it?

00:52:11

>> You're the only one that actually sort

00:52:12

of got naked on stage. Get Dave Far

00:52:14

here.

00:52:15

>> I love Dave Far. We were doing breakfast

00:52:17

radio at the same time and often see him

00:52:19

at Wild Bean at like 5 in the morning.

00:52:21

>> Right.

00:52:21

>> I was on my way to the edge. He was on

00:52:22

his way to Flavor I think he was at.

00:52:24

>> Yeah. Or Mars.

00:52:25

>> This isn't a sausage roll day.

00:52:30

>> The naked sours.

00:52:33

How would I describe the naked sour? I I

00:52:35

know. I mean to to for those that don't

00:52:37

know it was born from the fact that

00:52:38

there was very little work for PIs on

00:52:42

screen and stage. So the boys created

00:52:45

this you know created nasorn so they can

00:52:49

tell their story for for our own people

00:52:51

which is now spread out to you know

00:52:55

>> I think that's it. Eh yeah

00:52:56

>> yeah it's very How did you get connected

00:52:58

with them?

00:53:00

>> Were you the founder or did you get

00:53:02

>> No, I wasn't. What? So the original Oh,

00:53:05

>> hey Bubba

00:53:06

>> Kanye. The little dog's just woken up.

00:53:08

>> Oh,

00:53:08

>> good boy.

00:53:09

>> Um, the original the O the the OGs were

00:53:11

David Farane, Oscar Kiteley, Shimpali,

00:53:14

and Maronga.

00:53:16

>> They were the the the the OG. I came

00:53:19

later on um because they had another

00:53:22

show where it needed another a member

00:53:25

and that was that was I came on I don't

00:53:27

know what year but I do remember me and

00:53:29

Dave were working on um the strip at the

00:53:32

time when he he asked me to be part of

00:53:35

the NAS

00:53:37

>> and that was that was a few years ago.

00:53:39

>> You guys going to do some more stuff?

00:53:40

>> Is it hard to get everyone together?

00:53:42

Funny enough, I mean, if if there's rich

00:53:45

people out there that want to fund us,

00:53:48

nice. We cuz we did we did the comedy

00:53:51

festival, the latest comedy festival. Um

00:53:55

uh so we did Yeah. So that was the

00:53:58

earlier on this year we did that. But we

00:54:01

want to do there's a lot of um a lot of

00:54:04

people in LA that like the show and

00:54:05

people in Hawaii. So, we want to tour we

00:54:08

want to do a tour of either Hawaii or

00:54:11

the US

00:54:14

>> um of our last show which was Go Home.

00:54:17

Go Home is um Yeah, we did Go Home a few

00:54:20

years ago. But, um

00:54:21

>> was it the naked sows that sort of led

00:54:23

to Sion's wedding?

00:54:25

>> Yeah.

00:54:25

>> One of the one of the one of the

00:54:26

greatest and most successful New Zealand

00:54:28

comedies ever.

00:54:29

>> Yeah. the late um the late legend John

00:54:32

Barnett saw the boys perform

00:54:35

>> and he said to his writer I think it

00:54:37

might have been James at the time he and

00:54:39

said we need to do a film with those

00:54:40

guys. So and that's how and then James

00:54:42

got in contact with Oscar and Sion's

00:54:45

wedding was was born.

00:54:47

>> Wow.

00:54:48

>> Yeah.

00:54:48

>> And then Shortland Street you were on

00:54:50

that for a couple of years. Um Dr.

00:54:51

Maxwell Aia

00:54:52

>> Aia.

00:54:54

Yeah. How was that? Like that must have

00:54:56

been good getting a getting a regular

00:54:58

steady paycheck for a couple of years or

00:55:00

>> those three years I did that.

00:55:01

>> Did you a steep learning curve as well

00:55:03

like doing that much acting

00:55:05

>> and of course

00:55:05

>> but I've never been in that environment

00:55:07

before where this is you know multi

00:55:09

camps it's like one here one there one

00:55:11

there. So it's almost like performing on

00:55:12

stage so I never got used um I mean that

00:55:15

was that was a new world for me that was

00:55:18

fast fast turnaround TV for a long time.

00:55:22

It's funny because I was I was a doctor.

00:55:24

I think I was the first Polynesian

00:55:26

doctor on that show. So, I had all these

00:55:28

medical terms I heaps, man. And I just

00:55:31

couldn't get them out. So, I I used to

00:55:34

go to the writers and I said to them,

00:55:36

"Hey, can you seriously if we're going

00:55:38

to finish the day, ease off of the

00:55:40

medical terms? Can't I just say

00:55:42

neuropen

00:55:46

parac can't I just say that without the

00:55:48

actual medical term?" And they said,

00:55:51

"Oh, Robbie, you're so funny." No, but

00:55:56

um

00:55:56

>> was it enjoyable? I enjoyed it.

00:55:58

>> It was enjoy. You know, the thing is the

00:55:59

thing is about Shortland Street is you

00:56:02

have got a steady income for a year, you

00:56:04

know, and then you negotiate the the the

00:56:06

contract again. But I always say to

00:56:08

myself, when I get bored of this, I'm

00:56:10

gone. So after the third year, I got

00:56:14

bored and I left. M

00:56:16

>> um and there I mean the un see Shortland

00:56:20

Street can be also uh not no I won't say

00:56:24

trap but there's

00:56:26

>> it's that consistent income that golden

00:56:29

that got yeah

00:56:30

>> yes yeah so which is which is why I

00:56:33

think a lot of people stay stay behind

00:56:35

but I for me it was just like no once

00:56:37

I'm done I'm out

00:56:39

>> and then Wentworth came along and

00:56:42

>> what how come you okay yes so Wentworth

00:56:44

um Australian prison in the show um set

00:56:47

in Melbourne um eight seasons 100

00:56:49

episodes as Will Jackson. Why? How come

00:56:51

you got bored of Shortland Street and

00:56:52

you didn't get bored of Wentworth?

00:56:54

>> That's a big stint on one show.

00:56:55

>> Two different shows.

00:56:57

>> Two different shows in terms of you know

00:56:59

Sha Street Soap.

00:57:01

>> Wentworth I mean you know it's in terms

00:57:04

of drama and story it's it's next level

00:57:06

but that's you know that's where they

00:57:08

they they kind of sat um apart from the

00:57:10

last season of um Wentworth. Loved it.

00:57:14

Loved it. You know, it was the first

00:57:15

show that challenged me as an actor.

00:57:18

There was one season there that was

00:57:19

Yeah. two seasons there where I really

00:57:21

really enjoyed because it was focused on

00:57:23

on on Will.

00:57:24

>> But um

00:57:26

>> is that is that show bigger in Australia

00:57:27

or NZ?

00:57:28

>> It's huge around the world, dude. I'm

00:57:29

doing a Wentworth Con still exists. They

00:57:32

have Wentworth Con in America, uh

00:57:35

Canada, UK, and it's still going to this

00:57:38

day. There's still fans out there that

00:57:40

are still, you know,

00:57:42

>> where's the where's the weirdest place I

00:57:44

went where fan has um hit you up?

00:57:47

>> I had one lady turn up in a wedding

00:57:50

dress and said, "I'm here to marry you,

00:57:53

Will."

00:57:56

It freaked the [ __ ] out of me. I mean, I

00:57:58

got to know her. I mean, I know she was

00:58:00

she was she was joking and you know, I

00:58:02

got to know her. She was lovely, but it

00:58:03

was like just complete wedding dress and

00:58:06

said, "I'm here to marry you." I said,

00:58:08

But they're you know what I I'm not

00:58:10

going to give there there are they are

00:58:12

intense.

00:58:14

>> They are very intense that our fans but

00:58:17

loyal to the

00:58:18

>> to the bone

00:58:21

they still goes.

00:58:23

>> I'm doing one in Sydney. I'm doing one

00:58:25

in Sydney next year in February. It's I

00:58:27

mean it's

00:58:28

>> and um

00:58:29

>> yeah.

00:58:30

>> What acting goals do you still have if

00:58:32

any? Is it a career where where you can

00:58:34

have goals or are you sort of at the

00:58:36

mercy of

00:58:37

>> for a long time I just wanted to do

00:58:38

acting thing and achieve that?

00:58:40

>> Um I that's still my goal but I think

00:58:44

I've I want to probably explore behind

00:58:48

the camera either producing

00:58:50

>> um I think producing probably I'd want

00:58:52

to get stuck into not directing.

00:58:54

>> I don't think I'd be a good director.

00:58:56

>> What's the difference?

00:58:57

>> Well the director um it's on set. He's

00:59:00

the one that control. He's the one that

00:59:02

tells the story on set producer. I

00:59:04

there's all sorts of producers. There's

00:59:06

the guy that looks for the money and

00:59:07

there's a guy that looks for

00:59:09

>> um the talent kind of thing. So there's

00:59:11

all sorts of um you know limbs when it

00:59:13

comes to producing. I just want to learn

00:59:15

how it all works behind the scene cuz

00:59:18

I'm getting also getting to that period

00:59:19

of my career that you know there's not

00:59:21

much work for me around. So I need to

00:59:23

produce my own stuff which is a lot of

00:59:25

what people back in US are doing. You

00:59:28

know

00:59:28

>> guys like Ben Affleck they've got their

00:59:30

own production company. So then they can

00:59:31

work. So get the work,

00:59:33

>> create the work, their own work.

00:59:34

>> Is it glaringly obvious how much the

00:59:36

work dries up

00:59:37

>> as you age

00:59:42

>> or is it just the sort of roles like you

00:59:44

go from being the hunk to

00:59:45

>> Yeah. Well, I think I at the moment

00:59:47

there was one that I auditioned where I

00:59:49

wanted to get an audition for asked for

00:59:50

an audition but I which I think I'm

00:59:52

falling in. I was either too young

00:59:56

or too old. So, I'm now in that gap as

00:59:59

he's Yeah, he's No man's land. Yeah. No

01:00:02

man's land at the moment. So, I need to

01:00:04

be 60 before I can get the roles.

01:00:06

>> The dad rolls.

01:00:06

>> Yeah, the dad rolls. I mean, I'm I'm

01:00:08

still I'm getting the dad rolls at the

01:00:09

moment, but

01:00:10

>> Yeah.

01:00:11

>> Yeah. Um,

01:00:14

how comfortable are you um talking

01:00:16

talking about your brother, reflecting

01:00:17

about your brother? Pua poos.

01:00:20

>> Poos.

01:00:21

>> Yeah.

01:00:22

>> Is it hard to talk about?

01:00:24

Um,

01:00:26

I mean there are things that I I'm happy

01:00:28

to talk about, but there's also things

01:00:30

um that I don't want to tap into.

01:00:35

>> Yeah.

01:00:36

>> Um, for me, I mean, I think for Yeah.

01:00:40

Yeah. Ask me questions about that.

01:00:42

>> Okay. Um, yeah. May 11, 2019.

01:00:45

>> Mhm.

01:00:47

>> What are you What are your memories of

01:00:48

that day?

01:00:52

Uh, I was at home

01:00:54

3:00 in the morning. I get a call from B

01:00:58

twin,

01:01:00

didn't answer it. Then he called again,

01:01:03

didn't answer it. Third time I answered

01:01:05

it and he was Tana was on the on the

01:01:09

phone saying, "Hey."

01:01:12

Uh, and he said, "Yep, um, Pooh's just

01:01:15

passed.

01:01:16

didn't

01:01:19

didn't register that. I said, "What?" I

01:01:21

said, "Poor poor passed away." I went,

01:01:23

"What the fuck?" So, I didn't I didn't

01:01:26

really hit me

01:01:29

until later on. So, what had happened

01:01:30

was I it it it I I hung up.

01:01:35

I tried to call my brother just to let

01:01:38

him know, Mix, let him know he wasn't

01:01:40

answering his phone.

01:01:44

So, I got in the car and drove to his

01:01:45

place, knocked on the door, and I told

01:01:48

him, and I hung out there for a little

01:01:50

bit. Then I went back home, and that's

01:01:53

when it hit. Um, I was just like, yeah,

01:01:57

in my room, uncontrollable

01:02:00

emotion. It's just like, yeah, it really

01:02:03

hit everybody. I was in on the floor

01:02:06

pulling my eyes just like angry. Just

01:02:09

angry at what had happened. So, yeah.

01:02:13

because I don't think anyone can I mean

01:02:15

there's a there's a lot of people

01:02:16

that'll be um listening to this or

01:02:18

watching this whose lives have been um

01:02:19

impacted by um a suicide but I don't

01:02:22

think there's anything that can prepare

01:02:24

you for that sort of level of shock and

01:02:26

grief and

01:02:27

>> no

01:02:27

>> everything and there was um oh man there

01:02:30

was a a quote from you I saw this in um

01:02:32

an article um you talk about connecting

01:02:35

with your mom and she was wailing and

01:02:37

saying I was supposed to go first

01:02:39

>> yeah that's when we bought Paul's body

01:02:42

uh to uh my brother's house, you know,

01:02:45

but yeah, when his body arrived at my

01:02:47

brother's house, he was she was just

01:02:49

that was hard to Yeah, that was tough.

01:02:53

Yeah. As she w Yeah, she was walking in

01:02:55

with him and it was just like, it should

01:02:56

be me.

01:02:57

>> It should be me. It's not you.

01:03:00

>> You mentioned earlier that you think

01:03:01

that um losing a son sort of accelerated

01:03:04

her into how could it not?

01:03:07

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

01:03:07

>> I mean, how could it not have an impact?

01:03:10

It's like it's terrible. Um, do you

01:03:13

remember your last conversation with

01:03:14

him? How close were you guys? Was it you

01:03:16

just I'm just thinking of me and me and

01:03:18

my brother. He lives in Perth. We can go

01:03:20

for months without speaking to each

01:03:21

other, but the the love is still there

01:03:23

or we Yeah, we text every few weeks.

01:03:25

Were you like um were you close close?

01:03:27

Like

01:03:27

>> I was close with Poose.

01:03:28

>> Yeah, I was close. Poo had different

01:03:30

relationship with all his bros. But I

01:03:33

our rel uh

01:03:35

our our

01:03:37

relationship was because I he started I

01:03:41

took up writing. He took up writing. I

01:03:43

took up acting. He started to take up

01:03:44

acting. So he kind of followed my path

01:03:46

and he was always proud to say that. Um

01:03:51

yeah. So our our connection was through

01:03:54

the one one he was my little bro and two

01:03:58

is because of the industry that we

01:04:00

decided to to to um you know take on

01:04:04

>> um I don't remember the last

01:04:06

conversation I I did have with him

01:04:10

but uh

01:04:11

>> well you're not expecting it to be

01:04:13

something poant or profound are you?

01:04:15

Because it's just a call with your bro.

01:04:17

>> Yeah. Well it's like your question

01:04:18

before about mom. When was the last

01:04:19

conversation you had with your mom

01:04:21

>> that she understood? I don't know.

01:04:24

>> And that's I suppose that's the other

01:04:25

thing as well when it's taking the

01:04:30

one making that effort to get in contact

01:04:32

with the the people that you love

01:04:34

because you just don't know now,

01:04:35

>> you know.

01:04:36

>> Um but yeah, that was tough. That was

01:04:39

tough. I mean, I'm the the the the the

01:04:41

shitty thing about um me now is,

01:04:46

you know, as the years have gone on, you

01:04:49

know, I do I do remember this. There are

01:04:53

certain songs that I that reminds me of

01:04:55

him. Um

01:04:58

but I don't it it doesn't enter my mind

01:05:00

as much anymore like it used to. And

01:05:02

that's the [ __ ] up thing about, you

01:05:04

know, our lives, you know.

01:05:07

But we still we still um um you know we

01:05:10

still celebrate him on the 19th of May.

01:05:13

>> So it'll be coming up to 7 years I

01:05:15

think. Yeah.

01:05:15

>> Did you like did you think he was

01:05:18

capable of taking his own life?

01:05:19

>> I had no idea.

01:05:20

>> No.

01:05:21

>> No idea at all.

01:05:24

>> I knew he had demons, but I didn't know

01:05:26

how dark it is. But I also think the

01:05:28

person he was with at the time did not

01:05:31

help

01:05:32

>> him.

01:05:34

um he wasn't the right she wasn't the

01:05:36

right person for poor at that time.

01:05:39

>> Um personally I think that probably

01:05:41

contributed to why he took you know

01:05:43

>> but I think he also had deep demons that

01:05:46

he needed to

01:05:47

>> Yeah.

01:05:49

>> Yeah. Show me show me a person that that

01:05:51

doesn't have demons or flaws and uh

01:05:53

>> I mean it doesn't it doesn't exist.

01:05:55

>> Yeah.

01:05:55

>> Um Yeah. People are very quick to judge

01:05:58

though, aren't they?

01:06:00

>> Dude, it's shocking.

01:06:01

>> We had to Oh man. And I mean, I've never

01:06:03

spoken about it, but

01:06:08

luckily I've got two mate I've got two

01:06:10

mates, good two mates that will kind of

01:06:12

guided me through that whole [ __ ] with

01:06:15

with media. Um, and basically they said,

01:06:19

"Look, don't add any more fuel to the

01:06:21

fire.

01:06:23

>> Just let it go. It'll be there for a

01:06:25

week and go." But, um, the people that

01:06:27

really pissed me off with the Herald,

01:06:29

New Zealand Herald, really pissed me

01:06:30

off. Um, there was one reporter there.

01:06:32

It was just like just going for it.

01:06:35

>> And I was saying to myself, dude, my bro

01:06:38

took his life. How much what? That's the

01:06:40

worst. That's the ultimate punishment.

01:06:43

>> But they kept on bringing it up and

01:06:44

bringing it up and, you know, and we

01:06:46

just

01:06:48

we kept quiet,

01:06:49

>> you know, we were told just to keep

01:06:51

quiet. They don't add any more fuel to

01:06:52

that fire.

01:06:54

>> So, yeah. I don't have a

01:06:57

nice thing to say about the New Zealand

01:06:58

Herald.

01:06:59

>> Yeah.

01:07:00

So you're never going to be [ __ ] with

01:07:02

them again.

01:07:03

>> No

01:07:04

podcast.

01:07:06

>> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's the ultimate

01:07:08

price, isn't it?

01:07:09

>> Yeah.

01:07:10

>> That's the thing. That's the That blew

01:07:12

my mind was like this B just took his

01:07:14

life. What else do you want?

01:07:15

>> You still want to [ __ ] Anyway.

01:07:18

>> Yeah. Um Yeah. So the the demons you're

01:07:21

talking about is domestic violence

01:07:22

related, which which isn't isn't pretty,

01:07:24

but you know it. Yeah. And I don't want

01:07:27

to minimize it, but it's like it's not

01:07:29

you're not you're not going to get

01:07:30

capital punishment for it, which is the

01:07:32

the penalty that he paid.

01:07:34

>> Um Yeah. Is it frustrating for you that

01:07:36

you you know you could have helped him

01:07:38

find a way through this? You couldn't

01:07:39

help Yeah. Yeah.

01:07:41

>> I did not know.

01:07:44

>> But if he picked up the phone and told

01:07:46

you, you'd be like, "Bro, this is not

01:07:47

the end of the world. We can we

01:07:48

>> Yeah. Well, the thing is Well, the thing

01:07:50

is with with Pooh, he had people that

01:07:53

could confide on,

01:07:55

>> but even

01:07:57

you know, they didn't know about it

01:07:59

either, you know, and I mean, it's one

01:08:01

of those things you look back and goes,

01:08:02

"Oh [ __ ] that that's a sign right

01:08:04

there. Maybe he was trying to reach out

01:08:05

there." No one knew.

01:08:07

>> Mhm.

01:08:08

>> You know,

01:08:10

>> where's a zoo? Have you got a zoo?

01:08:12

>> I have.

01:08:12

>> Yeah. Is that

01:08:13

>> He travels He's in LA at the moment,

01:08:15

>> so all of us have got one.

01:08:17

>> But he travels with me everywhere I go.

01:08:20

He traveled with me in Hawaii. Uh, but

01:08:24

now that I've got a, you know, my home

01:08:25

is there, he he just stay there when I'm

01:08:28

traveling. He's always with me.

01:08:30

>> Um,

01:08:32

he had a daughter from a previous

01:08:33

relationship. J How's Jasmine now?

01:08:37

>> Sorry, Josie. 13.

01:08:38

>> Oh, Uncle Rob. 13.

01:08:41

>> 14. 14.

01:08:42

>> Yeah. I don't know how old my nieces and

01:08:44

nephews are either, but Yeah. Like, do

01:08:46

is there anything you do to keep her

01:08:47

dad's memory alive? Like, what do you

01:08:50

>> stories you tell about him? No, no,

01:08:52

because um Jazz's mother is phenomenal

01:08:55

and um um Jazz's mother's um uh husband,

01:09:00

they're phenomenal with her

01:09:02

>> and uh she she knows she's I mean she's

01:09:04

old enough to to to figure it out. So

01:09:07

she always um yeah, she has Yeah.

01:09:11

>> Yeah, she knows she knows, you know,

01:09:13

when that time comes around, she does

01:09:15

have memory of of her father. But

01:09:18

>> I've got a a quote from you from your

01:09:20

your Instagram. Um, it's been a year

01:09:22

since my beloved brother Pu took his

01:09:24

life. There is not a single day that I

01:09:26

don't think of him. He's with me. I hold

01:09:28

his ashes. Music sets me off. Songs he

01:09:30

loved. Love songs usually. Um, love

01:09:33

songs usually. And grieving is just part

01:09:35

of our lives now. Poor wasn't perfect,

01:09:37

but he tried. [ __ ] that's emotional.

01:09:39

>> E.

01:09:41

Yeah.

01:09:44

>> Yeah. It's tough.

01:09:47

How how long was it before you could um

01:09:49

like we've talked about him for maybe

01:09:51

five or seven minutes here. How long was

01:09:52

it before you could like talk about him

01:09:55

at all without getting emotional?

01:09:56

>> I've I've always I've always spoken

01:09:58

about him. I mean, there were things

01:10:00

that I didn't want to talk about, but

01:10:02

I've always I've always been open like

01:10:04

that with with his passing. Um

01:10:08

and um

01:10:11

so yeah, and and that was part of my

01:10:12

healing as well was being open.

01:10:14

>> Mhm.

01:10:16

um which has helped me a lot. But yeah,

01:10:19

I've always been open about I mean I

01:10:20

think you know the stuff with the her

01:10:22

that was the first time I've ever seen

01:10:23

anything about that.

01:10:24

>> But I know you know they I mean they

01:10:29

they [ __ ] pissed me off. They really

01:10:31

pissed there's one reporter there. She

01:10:32

really pissed me off.

01:10:35

>> So

01:10:35

>> yeah. Yeah. It's clickbait, isn't it?

01:10:37

>> Oh, [ __ ] you. Oh 100%. That's and and

01:10:41

unfortunately that's the thing. Yeah.

01:10:42

That's what societyy's lives on. Now, um

01:10:46

I do but I always I always the last time

01:10:49

I did speak I had a good chat with him

01:10:51

was when I finished in Hawaii.

01:10:54

I um

01:10:57

before the job actually started, I

01:11:00

actually I was fortunate enough to have

01:11:01

a place right by the beach. Um so the

01:11:04

beach was my backyard and I remember

01:11:06

going in the water and say, "We're here.

01:11:08

This is us. We're here." And when I

01:11:10

finished I went for a swim. It was

01:11:12

[ __ ] pissing down and I went and uh

01:11:15

and I said we did it. We did it. Had a

01:11:17

bit of had a had a cry then packed my

01:11:20

stuff and then back to LA. So the my

01:11:23

journey now and and for a lot of for a

01:11:25

lot of his family and close friends it's

01:11:27

for him. Um yeah because I personally

01:11:32

think if he was around he'd be killing

01:11:35

it in LA. I Pa was phenomenal. who was a

01:11:39

phenomenal performer.

01:11:40

>> In what way?

01:11:42

>> Actor.

01:11:42

>> How was he different to you?

01:11:44

>> Well, one, he could act. Two,

01:11:48

>> he was I think I actually think he was a

01:11:50

little bit better than me. Um, and he

01:11:51

also he just um

01:11:54

he could move. That boy could move. He

01:11:56

was a true performer, you know. He had

01:11:58

everything. He had all the tools. Could

01:12:00

sing, you know, could dance, could act,

01:12:05

>> and he had a range as well. So

01:12:08

>> yeah,

01:12:09

>> the way you're able to talk about him

01:12:10

now, six, seven years on, um it says to

01:12:13

me that it does get easier over time.

01:12:14

>> It does get easier.

01:12:15

>> For anyone that's listening to this

01:12:16

that's in the like the trenches at the

01:12:18

moment, like in the first year or

01:12:19

whatever, um yeah, what what would your

01:12:21

message to them be about grief?

01:12:23

>> About grief, it's do they um from my

01:12:27

personal um for me personally in in

01:12:30

terms of me getting over that? Well, I

01:12:32

did the work as well. I had a I saw

01:12:34

someone about it. I had a regular I had

01:12:37

regular sessions with with that um with

01:12:39

her that helped. Um me I was always open

01:12:42

about it you know I never kind of

01:12:44

suppressed anything and I felt that's

01:12:46

how I help I healed. Um and also cliche

01:12:49

as this may sound just have the people

01:12:51

that have someone around that you can

01:12:53

trust that you can talk to

01:12:55

>> and you don't have to that the the one

01:12:57

thing about grief is people think they

01:12:59

have to say something to make it better.

01:13:01

Now just sit there

01:13:03

>> just sit there and be with that person.

01:13:04

That's that's that's what that's what I

01:13:07

would say and let them you know let them

01:13:08

talk.

01:13:10

>> Are they are they tools that you got

01:13:11

from like observation and learnings or

01:13:13

they got from therapy or what what did

01:13:16

you get from therapy

01:13:17

>> was just being able to talk about

01:13:19

everything? Why you know what could I

01:13:22

have done?

01:13:23

>> Why didn't I see it? All that cuz there

01:13:26

was a lot of blame as well. I wasn't

01:13:28

there for my bro um why didn't he come

01:13:31

to me kind of thing. And then just

01:13:34

dealing with how to live continue life

01:13:36

without without him

01:13:39

>> you know the possibility that you know I

01:13:41

might do that you know all those things.

01:13:45

>> Yeah. You Yeah. I had a friend that took

01:13:48

his own life in quite a violent fashion

01:13:49

and this guy this guy was um life of the

01:13:52

party.

01:13:53

>> Yeah.

01:13:54

>> If there's a 2020 cricket match on he's

01:13:57

the guy that you'd see on TV on the big

01:13:58

screen. He's that guy wearing the two

01:14:00

shirt trying to get the one-handed

01:14:01

catch. And when when the when when he

01:14:04

did this, I thought, [ __ ] if he's

01:14:06

capable of this, then am I?

01:14:08

>> Yeah.

01:14:08

>> But then is that a mask?

01:14:10

>> What what being the life of the C? Cuz

01:14:12

Poo was Yeah.

01:14:13

>> Is that a mask?

01:14:14

>> Yeah.

01:14:14

>> But you you can't pick You don't pick it

01:14:16

up. You don't know. Did you pick it up?

01:14:18

>> Absolutely not.

01:14:19

>> Yeah.

01:14:19

>> No clue.

01:14:22

>> So it does get easier.

01:14:23

>> Does get easier.

01:14:25

>> Does get I mean songs for me, his song,

01:14:27

the his favorite songs still get me.

01:14:29

>> What are they? It's usually Babyface or

01:14:32

anything by Baby Face or Boys to Men by

01:14:34

his songs.

01:14:36

>> Sh. They've got um one song like a Blo

01:14:39

one called um Water Runs Dry.

01:14:41

>> Who's that?

01:14:42

>> Boys to Men.

01:14:43

>> Yeah.

01:14:43

>> Let's not wait till the water runs dry.

01:14:45

Oh my god. Does that set you off?

01:14:47

>> Used to. Not anymore. I smile now.

01:14:50

>> And when I hear the songs like

01:14:52

>> Yeah. Earlier on I used to I used to you

01:14:54

know I used to cry but now I I I smile

01:14:58

at that now. It does get easier, but

01:15:00

you've also got to do the work.

01:15:02

>> Yeah.

01:15:02

>> And it's not one of those thing. I Yeah.

01:15:05

>> Oh, that's encouraging.

01:15:06

>> Yeah.

01:15:07

>> That's inspirational. Do you do you What

01:15:09

do you think happens when you die?

01:15:11

>> Is there an afterlife? Like do you I

01:15:13

suppose what I'm asking is do you ever

01:15:14

do you ever feel his presence?

01:15:16

>> Yeah. How 100%. A lot of us do.

01:15:19

>> I think during TR as well, his presence

01:15:21

was there for everyone. Yeah. Yeah.

01:15:23

Definitely. um for the actors and also

01:15:26

you know we part of the reasons why part

01:15:29

of the motivation for Mickey was for

01:15:31

poor

01:15:31

>> for that film and I don't know whether

01:15:33

you see in the credits in the end there

01:15:35

to our loving brother poor

01:15:36

>> mons

01:15:38

>> so and he was present and and I know uh

01:15:40

the actors were in it as well they felt

01:15:42

him without his presence so he's always

01:15:44

around

01:15:46

>> but in terms of asking your question

01:15:48

what happens when I die

01:15:51

>> I love the whole I'm not a religious

01:15:54

ious person I think probably an atheist

01:15:56

if anything

01:15:57

>> but I what I do believe which I'm

01:16:00

recently believed is you know uh tangor

01:16:05

which is something with most with most

01:16:07

Pacific island like in art there's a

01:16:10

certain point like brianga that's where

01:16:12

the spirits go back into the water in

01:16:14

Hawaii is the same thing tonga samour

01:16:18

that's where I that's that's where I

01:16:20

want to go that's my belief is where I'm

01:16:22

going to go back to

01:16:23

>> you you know, join my ancestors and

01:16:25

stuff.

01:16:27

>> Yeah. You feel poo around though?

01:16:29

>> Yeah.

01:16:30

>> Yeah.

01:16:30

>> Yeah. Yeah.

01:16:32

>> Do you talk to him?

01:16:34

>> Used to.

01:16:35

>> Yeah. I don't talk to him as much

01:16:36

anymore. Um

01:16:39

but um

01:16:42

I do I do acknowledge him

01:16:44

>> when when I when when I when when I feel

01:16:47

him feel him around. I suppose any any

01:16:50

family that goes through like a a

01:16:51

shocking grief like this has their their

01:16:53

own way of dealing with them. There's no

01:16:54

right or wrong. But how do how do the

01:16:55

manga do it? Like do you when you have a

01:16:58

family get together is it sort of like

01:16:59

the elephant in the room has

01:17:01

>> No, it's not that. No, it's I think all

01:17:03

my bros kind of had their different ways

01:17:05

of dealing with it. I never questioned

01:17:07

it cuz that's them.

01:17:09

>> But I was always open, you know. So

01:17:13

yeah, everyone did. Um, my my my sister

01:17:16

was probably a little bit similar to me

01:17:18

in terms of being open about it.

01:17:20

>> But my my other bros, you know, they

01:17:22

just dealt with it in their own way, you

01:17:24

know,

01:17:25

>> and I never question that kind of

01:17:27

things. So, okay, that if that works for

01:17:29

you, great.

01:17:30

>> I'm not going to say, "Hey, maybe open

01:17:31

up and do this and that." It's like like

01:17:34

>> I'll let you guys do that. You know,

01:17:37

>> thanks for sharing this stuff.

01:17:39

>> Yeah. Sweet.

01:17:40

>> Is is it easy enough for you to share or

01:17:42

>> It's easier now. It's easier now. But

01:17:49

I still I mean

01:17:52

the shitty thing is it happens more

01:17:54

regularly now.

01:17:55

>> That's a shitty thing. I just don't

01:17:58

think that people are

01:18:02

it's just yeah what I hear is just

01:18:06

simple thing is breaking up.

01:18:08

>> You know people are taking their lives.

01:18:10

And I just don't think people out there

01:18:12

are prepped enough or know or have that

01:18:14

support. I don't know what it is, but I

01:18:16

hear whether that's a media where

01:18:20

social media is more accessible now, but

01:18:22

I hear it a lot and it's it saddens me

01:18:24

now kind of thing.

01:18:26

>> Yeah. Cuz it's a like it's a very

01:18:29

permanent solution to what is always a

01:18:30

temporary problem.

01:18:32

>> Yeah. Yeah. It seems to be the first

01:18:34

thing what I hear seems to be that

01:18:36

that's the first thing. The first thing

01:18:37

I'm going to do is just I'm going to do

01:18:38

that.

01:18:39

>> If I can't deal with what is happening,

01:18:41

I'm going to do that.

01:18:42

>> I I don't want to be here. Boom. Gone.

01:18:44

>> Yeah.

01:18:44

>> And it saddens me that those pe that

01:18:47

they don't have the support or they

01:18:50

haven't, you know, done. I don't know. I

01:18:54

don't It just sadden me. It saddens me.

01:18:56

It saddens me that that's their out.

01:18:57

>> Yeah. It's seen as a viable option.

01:19:00

>> Yeah. Yeah.

01:19:00

>> Yeah. It should be off

01:19:01

>> and it's common. It's more common now.

01:19:04

>> How's how's your mental health been? I

01:19:05

know we've talked a bit about therapy.

01:19:07

Good. We talked about your rough patch

01:19:08

and actually maybe the stuff that you

01:19:11

were going with postco and you know

01:19:13

which we talked about at the beginning.

01:19:15

Maybe it was like a whole lot of strands

01:19:16

like a co

01:19:17

>> I think I need brother

01:19:19

>> I think I need I think the university

01:19:22

has weird ways of telling you the change

01:19:25

you but I think I one I needed to go

01:19:28

through that. definitely need to go

01:19:31

through that. And because I I mean I'

01:19:34

I'd hate to think what would happen if I

01:19:36

hadn't gone through it, but it was just

01:19:38

a way of the universe saying, "Hey, you

01:19:40

know, you need to open up your eyes or

01:19:42

what it's actually the problem that

01:19:44

you're the problem with you."

01:19:46

>> Um, but to answer your question, me, I'm

01:19:49

I'm great.

01:19:50

>> I'm in a good place at the moment. You

01:19:53

know, we've got someone that cares for

01:19:54

me and my my kids, you know, love my

01:19:58

kids. M

01:19:59

>> and and they're good, they're healthy.

01:20:01

I've got a, as I spoke before, a

01:20:03

community of people that I'll always I

01:20:06

want to be around,

01:20:07

>> you know?

01:20:08

>> Have you um Yeah, you mentioned you

01:20:09

touch rugby lads um before. Have you

01:20:11

have you always been good at the sort of

01:20:12

vulnerability piece and talking like

01:20:15

openly about crunchy stuff or is this

01:20:17

something that's sort of come recently?

01:20:19

>> I think it's something that came

01:20:20

recently with um I don't know I was

01:20:23

going to be so open about stuff until

01:20:26

and it Yeah.

01:20:29

It was weird because it just came out.

01:20:30

That last podcast that I did, it just

01:20:32

came out and I don't know. It I didn't

01:20:36

think about it. It was just I was just

01:20:37

like, "Yeah, you ask me a question, this

01:20:39

is my answer. I ain't going to hold

01:20:40

anything back."

01:20:42

>> So, I don't know. Possibly.

01:20:44

>> It's um it's a very liberating space to

01:20:46

play in a when you take the guard rails

01:20:48

off and you're not you're not you're not

01:20:50

selfensoring. You're just speaking your

01:20:52

truth.

01:20:52

>> Yeah. Yeah. But I've also got mates, you

01:20:54

know, I've got mates that within that

01:20:56

touch community that I can talk to about

01:20:58

that,

01:20:59

>> you know, that are open to having that

01:21:03

sort of conversation. Um,

01:21:06

and uh same with you, you know, with my

01:21:09

writing mates, you know, um I we can

01:21:11

have those conversation, open

01:21:13

conversation. And I think being around

01:21:15

people that have been open, maybe I'm

01:21:17

just drawn to that. I'm drawn to those

01:21:18

people that are open about what how they

01:21:20

feel.

01:21:21

>> Yeah, I'm the same. You got friends that

01:21:22

you talk, you know, you can talk to and

01:21:24

friends that you just want to get pissed

01:21:25

with.

01:21:25

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

01:21:26

>> And they're both fine. There's a there's

01:21:28

a space for all of them.

01:21:28

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

01:21:30

>> Do you like who you are?

01:21:36

>> Do I?

01:21:37

>> You just scrunch your face up.

01:21:39

>> No, because I've had because I

01:21:41

initially, if you would have asked me

01:21:42

that question a few years ago, I said

01:21:43

no.

01:21:44

>> But I'm the anti thinking

01:21:47

>> Yeah. Yeah, I do.

01:21:49

>> Why would you have said no a few years

01:21:51

ago?

01:21:52

You and I have sort of known each other

01:21:53

just just sort of casually like little

01:21:55

conversations here and there for maybe

01:21:56

20 years. You've always been just

01:21:58

charming, funny, nice, charismatic,

01:22:02

>> and a a good man. I'd say a good man,

01:22:04

>> but they were never an [ __ ]

01:22:07

>> Have I been an [ __ ]

01:22:08

>> Never.

01:22:08

>> I can be an [ __ ] I'm a Taurus. I'm

01:22:11

stubborn as [ __ ] man.

01:22:14

>> But everyone can be an [ __ ] Push the

01:22:16

right button.

01:22:16

>> No, I'm I'm But to answer your question,

01:22:18

no, I am. I'm I'm I'm I'm happy with

01:22:20

myself. I'm and and and I like I like

01:22:23

who I am

01:22:24

>> now.

01:22:25

>> Yeah.

01:22:25

>> Yeah.

01:22:26

>> What are you still working on

01:22:28

>> as a man?

01:22:31

>> Nothing.

01:22:34

>> Nothing. Yeah. I don't know.

01:22:36

>> I will tell you if I do, but at the

01:22:38

moment there's nothing. There's nothing

01:22:40

that I need to Maybe there is. I don't

01:22:41

know.

01:22:43

>> Your your definition of success, how's

01:22:45

that changed over the years?

01:22:50

My definition of success would it's hard

01:22:54

to say. It's hard with with what I do.

01:22:58

>> I would think my success would be how I

01:23:02

am as a father.

01:23:06

>> I that would be a success for me.

01:23:10

>> Is how I've brought up my kids and how

01:23:13

they are now as human beings. and

01:23:17

>> that would be a success. I wouldn't say

01:23:18

I'm not I wouldn't say I don't think I'm

01:23:22

at that point on my career where I'm

01:23:23

saying I am successful. I it's still a

01:23:25

work in progress,

01:23:27

>> but in terms of um being a dad and being

01:23:30

the the work that I've done. Um I've

01:23:33

I've s I've succeeded in that. I mean,

01:23:35

there's still things to be done, but

01:23:37

>> yeah, I don't I would successful for me

01:23:40

would be being a good dad.

01:23:41

>> Yeah. So, you you've got two both in

01:23:43

their 20s. They still both talk to you

01:23:45

at the moment?

01:23:46

>> Yeah, they do.

01:23:46

>> Yeah, 100%.

01:23:48

>> My my more more my daughter more than my

01:23:49

son, but my son he rings me. He rings me

01:23:52

now.

01:23:53

>> But

01:23:53

>> what do you mean now?

01:23:54

>> I used I never used to get calls from

01:23:56

him. I used to call him all the time,

01:23:57

but now he's he's amazing. He we have we

01:24:00

actually have really good conversation

01:24:02

like we we would talk for an hour and u

01:24:05

but my daughter Yeah. My daughter always

01:24:07

rings or Yeah.

01:24:09

Um, yeah, I suppose that's the

01:24:12

reflective of the seasons of life,

01:24:13

right? Like there's periods where you

01:24:14

need your but that seems like the

01:24:16

palangi way as well. Yeah. Like you

01:24:18

know, get to 18, 19, fly the coupe,

01:24:20

ignore your for a few years.

01:24:21

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

01:24:23

>> Doesn't seem like the Samo way.

01:24:24

>> There was a there was a time that my I

01:24:26

love him, but you know, you always used

01:24:28

to my son would just call me. I knew

01:24:30

what he'd be calling for to ask for

01:24:31

money.

01:24:34

>> That was the only time. But now that's

01:24:35

changed. He's like, he just calls me

01:24:37

like, "Oh, M's off to work, Dad."

01:24:39

>> Like, a bit of a catch up.

01:24:42

>> But, um,

01:24:43

>> did did you did they miss out on having

01:24:45

you around much as as little kids

01:24:47

because you were focused on your career

01:24:49

goals?

01:24:50

>> There there's only so many hours in the

01:24:51

day, you know what I mean?

01:24:52

>> Yeah. Cuz I I always remember cuz me and

01:24:56

her me and their mom split up very early

01:24:59

and our main focus was our babies. M.

01:25:02

>> So there was never. So I remember

01:25:04

everything was split down the middle. I

01:25:05

would have my stuff, she would have our

01:25:07

stuff. Um, school uh fe uh school fees

01:25:11

split down the middle. Anything.

01:25:14

And to this day we're we're great mates.

01:25:16

Um um their mom. Um yep. There were

01:25:19

times that I had to I was down in

01:25:22

Wellington for work and that's when

01:25:24

their mom had been um uh really

01:25:27

supportive of if I had to go for work I

01:25:29

would put more a little bit more money

01:25:30

in their account just to balance it out.

01:25:33

But um their mom Alice had been amazing

01:25:36

with with with with my with with when it

01:25:40

comes to my work cuz

01:25:42

>> um Yeah.

01:25:44

>> Yeah. So she's not the one you were

01:25:45

married to I think. Yeah. It's the one

01:25:47

you're married to. That's um You met her

01:25:49

when you were a receptionist at Sachi.

01:25:51

>> Sachi.

01:25:52

>> Yes, I did. Yeah.

01:25:53

>> Hot receptionist.

01:25:57

>> Well, I was a receptionist at Sachi's

01:25:59

down in Wellington. It was two guys

01:26:02

>> and it was me and another guy named

01:26:03

Semi. And it was two, you know, I think

01:26:06

in the advertising world back then, it

01:26:08

was just like these two Polynesian boys.

01:26:10

when they came into their reception like

01:26:11

we were famous down in Wellington for

01:26:13

our reception cuz they would come in, we

01:26:15

would have the music or playing the

01:26:17

guitar, you know, it was never that prof

01:26:19

we were professional, but the clients

01:26:21

used to love and appreciate that cuz you

01:26:23

come in and there's two big SOUR

01:26:30

>> sit down. Yeah, they were really and I

01:26:32

said, oh shame, what's this? Oh,

01:26:34

advertising agency.

01:26:36

So we we we had a reputation of being

01:26:39

yeah amazing down there and we had fun

01:26:40

as well. You know they they let us

01:26:44

you know they let us just be do our

01:26:46

thing and the clients used to love that

01:26:48

you know they come in because and we

01:26:50

would know the clients by by name and

01:26:52

then when I moved to Oakland I

01:26:54

transferred to the Oakland one and I did

01:26:55

the same thing but it wasn't with my

01:26:57

>> with my mate semi

01:27:00

>> but she walked in and that was it.

01:27:02

>> Yeah. So yeah that's the only time

01:27:03

you've been married. Yeah. Um, would you

01:27:05

get married again? What are your

01:27:06

thoughts on that?

01:27:08

>> Probably.

01:27:09

>> Yeah.

01:27:09

>> Yeah.

01:27:10

>> If it was important to the other person.

01:27:12

>> If it was important to the other person.

01:27:13

I'm I'm not bothered either way,

01:27:15

>> but that's the position I'm in.

01:27:17

>> Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

01:27:19

>> It sucks. Say like these things really

01:27:21

take they they take it out of you and

01:27:22

you feel like a failure and Yeah.

01:27:24

There's like guilt, regret, shame, I

01:27:27

guess, all that sort of stuff that goes

01:27:28

along with it.

01:27:28

>> Yeah. Yeah.

01:27:29

>> No, I'd be Yeah, I'd marry again.

01:27:31

>> Mhm.

01:27:32

>> Yeah. Would you?

01:27:34

>> Yeah. If it was Yeah. Yeah.

01:27:36

>> Yeah. Not not for myself. I feel like

01:27:38

I've done that.

01:27:38

>> I've done it, too. Like you. Yeah. I've

01:27:40

done it. I've done it. I had an amazing

01:27:42

time. But yeah.

01:27:43

>> Um, what kind of legacy matters to you

01:27:45

the most as an actor, a father, a man?

01:27:47

Is it something you think about at all?

01:27:49

>> No, not really.

01:27:51

>> No, I don't.

01:27:53

>> They just you puts a lot of pressure on

01:27:55

yourself to to leave a legacy behind. I

01:27:57

I mean, if I was to answer the question

01:27:59

again, it be being a dad,

01:28:01

>> being an amazing dad. the impact you

01:28:02

make on their lives. And [ __ ] the next

01:28:04

I not that I want to accelerate this or

01:28:07

put your kids under any pressure, but I

01:28:08

suppose the grandparent uh piece will be

01:28:10

next.

01:28:11

>> You be a granddad. Um if you if any

01:28:14

grandkids you have happen to listen to

01:28:15

this episode one day. Um yeah, what

01:28:18

would you like them to hear?

01:28:21

>> What would the What would you like them

01:28:22

to take away from their granddad?

01:28:25

Um,

01:28:26

I I I would just just say to my

01:28:28

grandkids that I, you know, I did the

01:28:31

best I can

01:28:32

>> with your parents and um and I think I

01:28:36

did okay.

01:28:37

>> Um,

01:28:39

and just don't be [ __ ]

01:28:45

>> If that was a message from your great to

01:28:47

you, would you have listened to it?

01:28:48

>> Oh, hell yeah.

01:28:49

>> No, you wouldn't.

01:28:50

>> I would.

01:28:51

>> No, you wouldn't.

01:28:51

>> They wouldn't listen.

01:28:54

No, there's that saying that youth is

01:28:56

wasted on the young.

01:28:57

>> Yeah.

01:28:57

>> I think you need to learn the learn the

01:28:59

lessons when your time's right.

01:29:01

>> Yeah.

01:29:02

>> No, just be nice. Just be good people.

01:29:04

Just be good people.

01:29:05

>> What brings you peace these days?

01:29:08

>> My own company.

01:29:10

>> Uh

01:29:11

>> yeah, you create a bit of solitude.

01:29:12

That's why I wonder about the motorbike

01:29:13

thing before.

01:29:14

>> Yeah, it's a little bit of that as well

01:29:16

in with motorbikes. But I don't cuz I

01:29:19

think I've been alone for not alone. Not

01:29:22

not that I choose to be alone, but

01:29:23

because of the the line of work that I

01:29:25

do. I'm always, you know, I'm either

01:29:26

here or somewhere else, and I'm by

01:29:28

myself.

01:29:29

>> I've gotten used to being I'm being I'm

01:29:31

comfortable being with with myself

01:29:34

>> being I I crave that. I crave then um my

01:29:39

time.

01:29:40

>> That's just the dogs.

01:29:41

>> I love it.

01:29:42

>> Yeah. Um yeah, I'm I'm the same. Like

01:29:45

I've got like a

01:29:45

>> It's an age I reckon it's an age thing.

01:29:47

Do you re thing

01:29:48

>> potentially? Yeah. I've got a very small

01:29:50

social battery like and it gets gets

01:29:51

charged up very easily.

01:29:53

>> Yeah.

01:29:54

>> And then I'm fine. Just leave me the

01:29:56

[ __ ] alone.

01:29:56

>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm like that as well.

01:29:58

>> Yeah.

01:29:59

>> When I had my

01:30:00

>> lot a lot of people just can't

01:30:02

>> cannot be in their own thoughts.

01:30:03

>> No.

01:30:04

>> Um

01:30:04

>> and it it Yeah.

01:30:06

>> It blows my mind. I love being Yeah. I I

01:30:09

love my downtime.

01:30:11

>> Are you quite quite emotional these

01:30:13

days? I we we cried earlier like um

01:30:16

talking about your mom and her dementia,

01:30:17

but before that like when was the last

01:30:19

time you

01:30:19

>> I cried I cried everything.

01:30:20

>> Yeah. Have you always been this way?

01:30:22

>> No, I think I've got I've as I've gotten

01:30:24

older I cry. I mean even when I was

01:30:28

walking around the home, you know, I was

01:30:30

crying, you know. Um

01:30:34

you know, Instagram, some Instagram

01:30:36

videos about family. I cry when I see,

01:30:39

you know, those those those those reels

01:30:42

of people surprising their friends or

01:30:44

they haven't seen. I cry at those.

01:30:48

>> That's what I agree. Yeah.

01:30:49

>> Yeah. You know, you're in an emotional

01:30:51

state if a Tik Tok can set you off.

01:30:53

>> Do it's good though. It's a wonderful

01:30:55

emotion that I think I suppressed

01:30:57

through my 20s.

01:30:57

>> I But I embrace it. I don't Yeah. I

01:30:59

don't care. It's just like

01:31:01

>> What are you most afraid of?

01:31:07

I think

01:31:10

what am I most

01:31:17

I don't know Dom

01:31:19

what am I it's not dying

01:31:23

>> definitely be won't be dying cuz yeah

01:31:26

probably getting dementia

01:31:29

>> is that a genetic thing

01:31:30

>> I think so

01:31:33

>> that would freak me out

01:31:35

>> cuz you've seen it firsthand I've seen

01:31:37

it firsthand.

01:31:39

>> But I also I'm I'm the my mindset at the

01:31:42

moment is just to I don't want to go

01:31:45

through that.

01:31:46

>> I want to go

01:31:50

knowing that I had a proper conversation

01:31:52

with with the ones I love.

01:31:53

>> Not not remembering a conversation. I

01:31:56

that's when I want to go.

01:31:57

>> I don't want to be around I don't want

01:31:58

to be a burden to anyone

01:32:01

>> because although my mom's still my mom

01:32:04

but she's not my mom. Do you know what I

01:32:06

mean?

01:32:07

>> Yeah. Not the one that

01:32:08

>> not the woman that that I know.

01:32:12

>> So, I don't know. I'm just trying to

01:32:13

figure it's it's weird cuz I'm trying to

01:32:14

figure that out. How do I leave this

01:32:17

world

01:32:19

at that if I do get if I am diagnosed

01:32:21

with dementia? How do I how do I figure

01:32:23

out when to go cuz I got to convince

01:32:27

someone

01:32:28

>> or like like you like a euthanasia or

01:32:30

No, no.

01:32:31

>> Yeah. I don't want to be I don't I don't

01:32:33

want to be

01:32:34

>> Okay. Okay. No. Okay. But say so you

01:32:36

your your mom said said to you, Robbie,

01:32:38

you know, I've got dementia. It's only

01:32:39

going to get worse. I need you to sign

01:32:41

the paperwork on this. What are you

01:32:42

going to say? You say, "Hell no."

01:32:43

>> No, she doesn't remember. So, it doesn't

01:32:44

matter now.

01:32:48

>> She's gone past that point. Whether I

01:32:50

have control right now, so I'm just in

01:32:52

my mind and my kids will hate me for

01:32:54

this, but

01:32:55

>> I'm seriously thinking on how I can

01:32:58

>> convince someone when you see the signs

01:33:01

where I'm forgetting conversation.

01:33:04

I think about it a lot after being

01:33:06

around when I'm around my I think about

01:33:08

it. I don't want to be here. I want to

01:33:10

remember I want to remember this. That's

01:33:13

my my point in life right now is just

01:33:14

tick boxes. I want to tick boxes and

01:33:16

make sure that someday when I'm sitting

01:33:19

on the deck or something having a word

01:33:21

talking to my grandson or whatever. I

01:33:24

said I've done everything I can.

01:33:26

>> I can go now. I'm happy to go. But if I

01:33:30

have dementia, I I don't want to be

01:33:32

around.

01:33:34

It seems like the Robbie Magaver we've

01:33:37

um met today is in a good space.

01:33:39

>> I am. Yeah,

01:33:39

>> I am in a really good space at the

01:33:41

moment.

01:33:41

>> I got one final question. So the um the

01:33:43

the show sponsored by the Generate Kiwi

01:33:45

Saver scheme and the leaders in Kiwi

01:33:47

Saver performance. I just want to know

01:33:49

who's behind your performance. So you

01:33:51

can put that into your day-to-day life.

01:33:53

So you're the guy on the screen. You're

01:33:55

the guy getting the awards. Uh who's the

01:33:58

the team behind Robbie Mangver's

01:34:01

success?

01:34:03

Well, cliche, but mom and dad.

01:34:06

>> Um, my why is my kids.

01:34:09

>> Um, and

01:34:12

I would probably say my the my community

01:34:15

would be the people, but first and

01:34:17

foremost is mom and dad.

01:34:19

>> And then my why.

01:34:21

>> Are you proud of yourself?

01:34:26

I always have to think about it, Dom,

01:34:27

because in the past, like I said before,

01:34:29

like in the past, I was just like, "No,

01:34:30

I'm not proud of myself, but I am."

01:34:33

>> It's weird though, that conversation

01:34:34

like, you know, you you asking me, "Are

01:34:37

you in a good place?" I've never thought

01:34:39

about it. And thinking about it now, I

01:34:41

am in a good place.

01:34:43

>> Just more work, more acting work and I'd

01:34:45

be perfect.

01:34:48

>> Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, your job's for the

01:34:51

boys.

01:34:52

>> Anyone out there?

01:34:54

I need work.

01:34:56

>> You need

01:34:56

>> fire me.

01:34:57

>> Uh I I had a Tim and recent Tim Timmy

01:35:00

Morrison recently for a podcast and he's

01:35:02

got like Jason Mamoa sort of like taking

01:35:04

him under his under his wing.

01:35:06

>> Yeah. Would you do you want to be

01:35:07

adopted by Jason Mamoa

01:35:09

>> in an acting sense?

01:35:11

>> Oh,

01:35:13

please.

01:35:13

>> Just any please.

01:35:15

>> No. I No. No. I I look I'm on my own

01:35:18

tour. I like being by myself and carving

01:35:20

my own path. But it'd be nice. I

01:35:23

actually met him once. I only met Jason

01:35:25

once, but he was awesome cuz it was at

01:35:28

the rugby. I'll tell the story. It was

01:35:30

at the rugby. He was there. You know how

01:35:33

the All Blacks, you get invited to the

01:35:35

box. He was there and my my took my

01:35:38

daughter and she goes, "Oh my god, it's

01:35:39

Jason. It's Jason." And I now me and

01:35:41

Jason know a guy uh his name is He's a

01:35:43

legend. His name is Brian Kolana, Uncle

01:35:45

Brian back in Hawaii. So that's So I

01:35:47

went up to him and I said, "Bro, I I

01:35:50

know Uncle Brian, blah blah blah." my my

01:35:52

my daughter just wants a photo. Is that

01:35:54

okay? And he goes, "Yes, sweet, bro. But

01:35:55

keep it down rap because I don't want

01:35:57

people coming up to me." So, we took a

01:35:58

little photo with her um my daughter,

01:36:00

him, and me. And he said, "Sweet.

01:36:03

Thanks, brother." Walked off. I thought,

01:36:05

"Sweet."

01:36:05

>> That's so

01:36:06

>> That was the first time I met him.

01:36:07

>> Wow.

01:36:08

>> But it was

01:36:09

>> Did he know who you were?

01:36:12

>> We had Yeah, I could because he I think

01:36:14

cuz Uncle Brian works with him a lot. Um

01:36:17

and he'd been working on the show that I

01:36:19

was on. So he would have probably Yeah.

01:36:22

>> Yeah.

01:36:22

>> Yeah.

01:36:23

>> Hey, this has been a great podcast

01:36:24

today.

01:36:24

>> I hope so, Dom. I always feel paranoid

01:36:26

cuz oh god, what?

01:36:28

>> Yeah. You can't You're like, "This this

01:36:31

is going to be this is going to be the

01:36:32

shortest one ever. I'm nervous. I've got

01:36:34

nothing to say.

01:36:34

>> I got nothing to say."

01:36:36

>> I disagree.

01:36:37

>> Although, yeah, I have to disagree. I

01:36:39

had like you've been like some of the

01:36:41

question that you did say, are you

01:36:42

happy? Like I I was always the my

01:36:45

biggest critic was myself.

01:36:48

But to answer your question, when he

01:36:49

asked me a question, are you happy

01:36:50

yourself? I was like, yeah, I am

01:36:51

actually. Are you proud of yourself?

01:36:53

Yeah, I am.

01:36:55

>> Because I'm in a good space. I'm in a

01:36:56

good space at the moment.

01:36:57

>> Yeah. And what what about your parents?

01:36:59

They proud of you.

01:37:04

>> Yeah.

01:37:06

Yeah. Yeah.

01:37:09

I know they are.

01:37:10

>> What more is there?

01:37:12

>> Yeah.

01:37:12

>> Yeah.

01:37:14

>> Robin Manga, you're a great New

01:37:15

Zealander. Thank you, my bro. Thank you.

01:37:17

It's

01:37:17

>> been awesome.

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