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[Music]
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toer welcome to my podcast thank you for
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having me Dom is fantastic space thank
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you so much I really appreciate you
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being here I I've just been out on a on
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a run and I was listening to some other
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podcast that you've been on and I was um
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thinking about our relationship because
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i' I suppose I'd call you a friend
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absolutely but we're not friend friends
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like you know what I mean no I mean we
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don't like hang out every Friday night
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but I absolutely I've always held you
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and and really high esteem and and had a
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great affection for you and JJ um and
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and would absolutely consider you both
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friends yeah I like you're one of these
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people like if I walk into a room and
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it's some function and I don't want to
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be there and I've got anxiety and I see
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you there immediately I feel a little
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bit more comfortable it's like there's
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someone here that I can gravitate
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towards and have a I know I'm going have
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a great conversation with totally
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totally I remember when I first met you
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and J do you remember the first time we
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met what was that it was um wasn't it
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that boardroom meeting in Short Street
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with God no we were good friends by then
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that's why you did the whole thing and
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actually I got to tell you I mean I
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wasn't actually as upset as what I think
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oh my God I mean I can say this now as
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what I think the company got like I I
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felt like the company got really upset
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and I was like oh no I thought it was a
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bit of a dick move but but at the same
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time at the same time I was like I live
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yeah but then it got real serious and I
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was like okay well if everyone's taking
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it seriously and we're going to go to
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the boardroom while you know I'll sit
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there but I never wanted you guys to
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feel like yeah that that was a really
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bad thing to have done oh no it was It
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was a major dick move and I jeez we
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should elabor should we elaborate on
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what it is or should I just chop this
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bit out I mean let's talk about think we
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can always fix it and post okay so it
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was like the Shand Street 20th or 20
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20th uh birthday party and uh JJ and I
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were there and um um we were we were
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chatting to you and the alcohol was
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flowing and I I I had my phone in record
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mode yeah and and it was like you I
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think you were talking to JJ you like
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you you need to find you do do a dating
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segment and find me a date totally yeah
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basically we recorded you guys Without
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You consent and then the next the the
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next morning on the when I when I say it
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now like my toes are curling like I'm
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embarrassed about about what we did but
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at the time to be honest I probably
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didn't see anything wrong with it and
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that's that's a me problem oh no
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absolutely well I I I remember when I
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heard the segment um you did do a really
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nice leading so I would give you that
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like you were like hey we were at the sh
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Street 20th and you know I love these
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two you know they're great friends um
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but yeah and I was like oh well kiss you
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preempted a cuz it wasn't like when you
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hear secretly recorded audio you think
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it's something um salacious or malicious
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which it definitely wasn't no um so it
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was just kind of like a way of like
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teing off that we're at the party last
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night but I do see now all sorts of
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problems with it and I'd never do
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something like that again yeah no and so
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invasive and it was wrong well it's you
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know these are learning moments hey and
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I think also at the time let's be honest
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like the nature of the edge you know you
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kind of guys were on that sort of shock
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jock kind of level which is what the
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show was about and so I mean I can see
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it from your point of view as well and
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it was kind of a bit of a fun bit of a d
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but but but I never I never had any
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personal animosity towards you for it um
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either of you and that day in the
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boardroom and then Jay cried and and so
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yeah but I I love that we've remained
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friends but yes I remember when I first
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met you and j i we were doing C4 and the
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was just about to start I think we'd
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been on here for a little while and the
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edge was starting the segment where they
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were bringing the edge hosts on so it
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was like you JJ Tash Tash TOS you was
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the chat show like a Saturday night 1
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hour right right and you guys were
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sitting in the green room and you were
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really really nervous and that's the
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very very first time we met and I
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remember thinking at that time cuz had
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you guys come up from down the line yeah
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with the age was originally based on
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Hamilton and we' only been in Oakland A
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couple of years and it was so obvious
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you know like I was like a cuz I'm from
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the provin provin to you know and so I
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was like I feel you guys you know these
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lovely provincial kids coming up yeah so
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long journey long journey D long long
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journey shortest incident could have
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been the the the breaking of our
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relationship but it's just not even a
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thing no to that's cool and I think that
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says a lot about you um one thing um
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yeah listening to a lot of um previous
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podcast you've been on and to be fair
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there haven't been as many as what I
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thought but there's a few uh in
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particular one that you did with um the
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girls uninterrupted oh you listen to
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that one yeah and another one with Simon
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Bridges and it feels like you were
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manifesting some sort of interaction
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with Jason Mamoa um this is before he
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came to New Zealand for Minecraft or
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whatever he was doing did you meet Jason
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Mamoa no I did not I did not and then
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now he's not even available anymore so I
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was like a I was so disappointed there
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was a there were a few moments where I
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actually could have but like it just
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didn't work out so I thought okay for
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whatever reason I wasn't me well Jason
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wasn't meant to meet meet me right now I
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don't know I Reon if if if these
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podcasts got got um on his radio he was
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probably hiding from
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you he was terrifying well we do have
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like mutual
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friends um we'll get into all that CU
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you know everybody it's crazy who you
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know um first of let's go all the way
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back um so you're from toonga yes samon
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mom and a pingy dad yeah and um a
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takeaway shop kid two takeway shops yeah
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so when I see shop kids you know because
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that's a real experience you know the
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kids who grow up in their parents shops
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you know often you'll see it in late
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deries you know but uh yeah my version
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was the takeaway um that was my
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playground and you were allergic to fish
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yeah insane like especially for Aon
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being allergic to fish and food but
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crazily I've actually grown out of my
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allergy which was that's bizarre too
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yeah so what what did that look like to
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me it seems like a kid's fantasy having
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your parents own a dairy um but a
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takeaway shop would be like the next the
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next best thing yeah except uh I think
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because it was so commonplace for us
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like we didn't actually eat a lot of
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takeaways because that was what you know
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Mom and Dad made all the time so I yeah
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I used to like hang out in the shop
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especially you know playing spaces and
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that and like my dad would let me ring
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up all these credits and then of course
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I was a little kid and I couldn't play
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the games properly so all the boys when
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they'd see me at the game would come to
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the game because they would know that at
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some point I would just walk away and go
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oh does anyone want my credits and
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they'd be like yeah and they take my
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credits that was a big thing back then
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and what of age like five yeah yeah four
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five oh well I started going to the shop
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my parents started taking me to the shop
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when I was 11 months old and then till
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till I started school yeah I went to
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kindy a little bit but not really until
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yeah School H when when you reflect on
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that time
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um is there anything there that helped
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you as an actor like in terms of like um
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human interactions human behavior 100% I
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think my whole entire childhood well
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life experience um helps me with my
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acting um because I think growing up in
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a shop environment um there's nothing
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childlike there so all I did all day
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long was Observe adults just OB and I
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didn't really have many Playmates
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although there was a Health shop next to
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our shop in greton and there was a
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little boy um his mom owned the health
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shop and so when he was there we'd play
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together and that was my only little
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mate and so we did a bit of time at
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Candy together and he actually after I
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did um Duncan Garner's podcast he
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actually messaged me this kid that I
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used to play with at our parent shops
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yeah amazing yeah and so cool and just
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said oh I don't know if you remember me
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but we used to play together and I was
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like this yes you were the only kid I
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used to play with his name is Patrick
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and um I I used to remember that his mom
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and my mom would always say oh your
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boyfriend and it used to really upset me
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at the
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time so how how old he the same age as
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you yeah we're exactly the same age like
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we're old as [ __ ] now I'm 5 I'm 51
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you're 40 you're 50 next January I'm
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turning 50 next January but we're not
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old we're older I keep telling everyone
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this I go we are not old yet we will
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know when we are old I mean yes we're
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getting to that we're mdle M age we're
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middleaged we we things are starting to
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fall apart you know and going down south
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and you know all the things but but
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we're not old yet Don we're not we're
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far far from it no but I don't say it
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like a like a bad thing I feel I feel I
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feel good about it but I think back to
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say when I was 30 or 25 and I thought 50
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you might as well have been dead oh you
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freaking know yeah yeah I do feel bad
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now of looking at 40 and 50 as being old
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cuz now I'm like oh well I I get it yeah
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and and and like yourself like I love
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the age that I'm at like okay I've got
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no crimes about being a woman and
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getting older and you know I've done the
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menopause I've done all the things you
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know it's it's it's it's just life have
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you how was how was menopause what did
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that meant to you yeah well you know it
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was hilarious for me because I didn't
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realize I was going through menopause um
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and until my I don't know how candid we
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can get until my periods stopped for a
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year and then I was
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like wow I haven't had a period for a
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year I I should really go get that
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checked out is that man or is it
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something you know else it could be
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something else and then I did the test
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and my doctor rang me and he said oh
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yeah no it's the menopause and and that
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I was done that I was through it so you
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didn't have like a hot flashes or the
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only the only symptom that I was aware
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of was um some night sweats but I was
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really lucky I didn't get any like hot
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flushes and stuff like I mean menopause
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is this whole thing like some women just
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have the worst time on Earth and some
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woman like me kind of barely noticed it
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bre you're not even aware yeah and then
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and I'm like I was done done because
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they can tell by some level they check
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and he was like no you were like
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literally post
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menopausal how how good does it when um
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like coming from like a just a man here
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like when you when you lose your period
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does it feel like is it a good thing to
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get rid of it or does it feel like
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you're losing a part of you 100% so what
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I love Dom is that I've got a lot of
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older girlfriends who walked me through
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some of the the feelings that um I would
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go through and I was so so grateful
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because one of my girlfriend said to me
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she goes you know it's really funny
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you'll miss your period when it's gone
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because it signifies the end of an era
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and she was 100% right you know I mean I
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love the practicality of it because you
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know that's not a good
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time but it is but it does but you do
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when you're at this stage of life you do
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know oh yeah that has that has ended
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that that part has ended and you do you
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mourn it a bit you mourn it a bit and
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yeah you are in a different face can you
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remember when you got it was that a
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traumatic time yes I totally remember
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when I got it um you a young developer
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or I was pretty standard pretty standard
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and I was so lucky again that I had some
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female cousins and Friends that talk to
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me about my period because of course my
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mom never discussed anything like this
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and I'm you don't know God soul I I
00:11:52
wonder I don't know what my mom thought
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I would think would happen because
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because she we honestly we never even
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had we had no conversation of the sort
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and if it wasn't for my cousins if it
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wasn't for girls friends I went to
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school with and I even questioned it I
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was going are you sure are you and they
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were like yes and I was like every woman
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every go and they were like yes it's
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going to happen it's going to happen
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it's going to happen and this is what
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you have to do and thankfully I got it
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when I was at school so that I could
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like go to my friends and then I went
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home and told my mom and then she just
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went you must never ever speak of this
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again and then she just bought me the
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supplies every month and that was all we
00:12:35
ever discussed ever wow is that just
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like a Samoan thing or yeah I like an
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across theboard Sone thing or is it just
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a yeah I used to think it was that's how
00:12:48
all sborn women were but then I had all
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these other sborn friends that were like
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no my mom was really open but I I did
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put that down to my mom um her own
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upbringing yeah
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yeah
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yeah yeah in these um podcasts that I
00:13:04
listen to that you've been on um yeah
00:13:06
your mom she passed away a couple of
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years ago yeah and it seems like you had
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a good relationship by the end but it
00:13:10
seems like it was a a tricky one yeah
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yeah and and I tell you what joh I'm I
00:13:15
am so grateful I'm so grateful that my
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mom and I had the relationship and the
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journey the whole journey that we had um
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because the whole journey that my mother
00:13:25
and I had made me the makes me who I am
00:13:27
today and and I'm so grateful for her
00:13:30
you know um I get emotional talking
00:13:32
about my mom still um because have you
00:13:35
your mom still here oh yeah she's still
00:13:36
she's 17 she's still really well but
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amazing oh yes you guys just did par
00:13:40
yeah yeah yeah yeah she's great but
00:13:42
there's definitely parallels between
00:13:44
between your relationship with your mom
00:13:45
and mine like our household was very
00:13:47
strict as well in terms of beatings I
00:13:50
don't know maybe I haven't heard you
00:13:52
elaborate about this but um as were
00:13:54
always beating under a controlled
00:13:56
environment but it was always about
00:13:58
sometimes you do something wrong and
00:14:00
then it's wait until your father gets
00:14:01
home then 4 hours later you're getting
00:14:03
you know your ass is burning for
00:14:05
something that you can't even remember
00:14:06
what you did totally totally I mean I
00:14:08
think you know also that generation you
00:14:11
know we were we were the generation of
00:14:12
physical discipline I mean Hello when
00:14:14
went to school they could pH physically
00:14:16
discipline you at school what I mean
00:14:18
what parents would like go oh that's
00:14:20
okay today yeah I remember like getting
00:14:23
um getting either the Str or the cane at
00:14:25
school and I'd go home and tell tell
00:14:27
tell Mom like oh or dead hoping for some
00:14:30
sympathy and that always be like no no
00:14:31
no no no you must have [ __ ] up 100% it
00:14:34
was always it was there was never any
00:14:36
question of the doubt that you were in
00:14:37
the wrong totally totally I mean we me
00:14:40
and my friends from the same generation
00:14:41
talk about you know we we used to
00:14:43
witness like even teachers were just
00:14:45
like literally like boot kids like guys
00:14:48
like just in the butt like like totally
00:14:50
just like boot you just go we just sat
00:14:52
there going oh well poor Billy you know
00:14:56
I was like but no I mean I I
00:15:00
physical discipline of my generation
00:15:03
being s um it it absolutely would would
00:15:09
would be termed as abuse today 100% 100%
00:15:12
And then you have to remember and and
00:15:14
this is what I try to apply to also you
00:15:17
know understanding the generation that
00:15:19
my mom came from you know they they came
00:15:21
from brutal brutal lives in the islands
00:15:25
like and so you know I think to them to
00:15:28
their generation they they did believe
00:15:30
we had it easier um and I guess in some
00:15:32
ways we did but it was it was brutal and
00:15:35
and I don't elaborate out of out of
00:15:37
respect
00:15:39
for it would be difficult for people to
00:15:42
understand yeah yeah
00:15:46
yeah like how do you how do you get past
00:15:48
that and have a relationship and you
00:15:50
know with the person after that yes you
00:15:55
know I don't know why but I always knew
00:15:59
knew that as a child it's really
00:16:02
important to understand and forgive your
00:16:05
parents as people um and I I mean I'm
00:16:09
sure I got that from Oprah or something
00:16:11
who where I got a great lot of my life
00:16:13
advice from watching Oprah in the '90s
00:16:16
um and and because I think Underneath It
00:16:21
All with every child no matter the
00:16:23
relationship you've had with your parent
00:16:25
you know we do love them and and and and
00:16:28
I I always wanted to to be able to truly
00:16:32
love my mom and understand her and
00:16:35
also forgive her for anything that that
00:16:38
I went through because as as we all know
00:16:40
and that saying goes you know our
00:16:42
parents do do the best with what they
00:16:44
know at the time you know and and we are
00:16:47
only the parents that we are based on
00:16:50
who we are as the person you know every
00:16:51
parent is different even the parents
00:16:53
that are great and and think they're the
00:16:55
best and don't beat their children I
00:16:57
promise you you will [ __ ] your children
00:16:59
in some way yeah some they're going to
00:17:01
end up with a chip on their shoulder
00:17:03
about something that you're doing now
00:17:04
yeah you know it's just and you just
00:17:07
hope you get like a a little bit better
00:17:09
with every generation like it's
00:17:10
incremental truly truly and that's all
00:17:13
we can hope for yeah and and you your
00:17:15
dead um it sounds like he was a really
00:17:16
nice guy like a real calm real measured
00:17:19
yeah yeah um a lot of my influence in
00:17:22
life well actually equally equally
00:17:25
because both my parents influenced me
00:17:26
greatly but um my dad is incredibly
00:17:30
incredibly kind like Beyond um and I
00:17:35
think growing up with him in the shop uh
00:17:38
because we just spent so much time
00:17:39
together and he just we just talk and I
00:17:42
just watch him as a person and he really
00:17:44
you know that's what I believe though
00:17:46
you know you your greatest influence to
00:17:48
your children is uh is who you are that
00:17:51
that's going to be the greatest
00:17:52
influence and my dad is truly truly kind
00:17:55
and and he is truly non-judgmental and
00:17:58
anyone who knows my dad will tell you
00:17:59
that and I know that rubbed off on me I
00:18:03
know that is deeply intrinsic of of who
00:18:06
I am as a person well it's part of your
00:18:07
DNA right both of them but um you why
00:18:11
didn't why have have you questioned like
00:18:13
why didn't why he didn't do more to
00:18:14
intervene oh my the discipline was could
00:18:17
not could not he couldn't mom was a
00:18:21
force oh she was the disciplinarian she
00:18:23
was the boss she was the boss she was
00:18:25
the boss dad's a very strong man great
00:18:28
provider you know he's a southerner you
00:18:30
know he's one of those fourth fifth
00:18:32
generation farming families you know
00:18:34
they they are legit they have had their
00:18:37
they they have had an experience too um
00:18:40
so dad's endurance was incredible and I
00:18:44
guess the way dad helped us was being
00:18:46
the soft place to
00:18:47
fall yeah yeah yeah oh that's so nice
00:18:51
when when you get to like I'm two years
00:18:53
2 years older than you I guess I'm 51
00:18:54
you're 49 um and I I've heard I've heard
00:18:58
you do interview and you talk about this
00:18:59
and you you are so compassionate and so
00:19:01
kind and so understanding and so
00:19:03
forgiving of everyone and I think I'm on
00:19:05
the same path and you get that way and
00:19:07
when you get older you realize it's part
00:19:09
of the human experience to [ __ ] up and
00:19:11
um there's the seems to be this thing at
00:19:14
the moment where people just love to
00:19:15
there's a like this pile on
00:19:17
mentality people love to like tear
00:19:19
someone down when they [ __ ] up but it's
00:19:20
like it's The Human Experience you're
00:19:22
going to [ __ ] up yourself sooner or
00:19:24
later the best thing he do is be a bit
00:19:26
compassionate about totally I mean you
00:19:27
know what it is Dominic it's actually
00:19:29
the easiest thing on earth to understand
00:19:31
people if that's your intention I mean
00:19:33
you know all of that all of that
00:19:35
judgment just comes from people's um
00:19:40
choice to judge rather than understand
00:19:43
but you know the thing is that we are
00:19:46
all imperfect humans and so therefore
00:19:49
the easiest thing you can extend to
00:19:51
another person is understanding that
00:19:53
they are just a person just like you we
00:19:55
it's it's just so easy it's just so easy
00:19:58
we are all so similar and I I don't like
00:20:01
that today it it's exactly the say not
00:20:04
only do people pile on when people in
00:20:06
they you [ __ ] up but people pile on to
00:20:09
people or create division simply for
00:20:12
just not thinking the same way or liking
00:20:15
the same people or voting for the same
00:20:17
party or and and this division just I
00:20:21
just don't know where people imagine
00:20:23
this leads to it's just ridiculous yeah
00:20:27
yeah I like your viewpoint on that
00:20:29
um yeah okay let's get back to some of
00:20:32
your what so growing up in toong or as a
00:20:34
um a Simone kid in the 19 what [ __ ]
00:20:37
traumatic as [ __ ] yeah so you had a lot
00:20:40
to continue with and but I feel like
00:20:41
this is um an important part of build
00:20:43
building the TW wheer story because what
00:20:45
like what you've accomplished is um is
00:20:48
amazing you know what I mean like uh
00:20:50
coming from such a like a small minority
00:20:53
to being um you know a successful
00:20:54
someone woman on TV it's [ __ ] cool
00:20:57
thank you um so I feel this is an
00:20:59
important part of building the twer
00:21:00
story yeah so so Simone kid and todor in
00:21:03
the'
00:21:04
70s the only Simone in your school in
00:21:07
your class almost um so I think there
00:21:09
were like from memory there were three
00:21:12
other Salon women in Tonga all married
00:21:15
to Bas bangis and so there was one
00:21:19
halfcast girl in my year
00:21:24
and yeah was and and yeah me and P liy I
00:21:29
remember her name was PE
00:21:30
liy and when did you when were you when
00:21:34
were you first aware of what racism was
00:21:36
oh early early early early on because
00:21:40
people were quite um at best they were
00:21:44
indifferent to
00:21:46
mom um at their worst they were just
00:21:49
straight out racist and we I witnessed
00:21:52
that you know as a child and and you
00:21:53
know I've spoken about this before you
00:21:55
know you don't sort of understand what
00:21:57
that is but you can just really feel it
00:21:59
you can really feel it and then I
00:22:01
started to notice that when we were with
00:22:04
Dad he was treated really differently we
00:22:07
were treated really differently when we
00:22:09
were with Dad as opposed to when we were
00:22:10
with Mom then I really began to
00:22:13
understand that it was about the
00:22:16
appearance of the color and the culture
00:22:17
and things like that and I did ask my
00:22:18
dad one day I said you know Dad why do
00:22:21
white people hate brown people and he
00:22:23
said oh dear you know not all white
00:22:26
people do um he said look at me
00:22:29
you know um yeah and then so I
00:22:32
understood that yes um not all white
00:22:35
people are racist and some people were
00:22:36
and and and that still exists today but
00:22:38
that's again why I don't sort of I don't
00:22:42
like when we're trying to deal with
00:22:44
racism today where I believe it's never
00:22:46
been better and it can continue to
00:22:49
become better but I don't like the
00:22:51
division when we say all white people
00:22:53
are one way or all one all brown people
00:22:54
are one way and I feel like there's a
00:22:57
little bit that of that happening
00:22:58
especially with the young brown people
00:23:00
who are starting to sort of just see
00:23:01
themselves as the opposite to white
00:23:03
people and the colonizers and all these
00:23:05
labels we want to give you know each
00:23:08
other they're all just
00:23:10
[ __ ] but did you did you think that
00:23:12
um white people hated brown people yeah
00:23:14
100% did you 100%
00:23:17
because they they' demonstratively be be
00:23:21
rude and and
00:23:24
teachers teachers you know really made
00:23:27
you aware that you were regarded
00:23:30
differently so you did feel you know
00:23:32
when you're a kid you go oh they hate me
00:23:34
you know I mean like that in your
00:23:36
simplistic thinking um you know but that
00:23:39
that wasn't isolated to tongo and and
00:23:42
actually again they there were also
00:23:44
non-racist teachers in Tong not not not
00:23:47
everybody was but but you certainly you
00:23:51
certainly did feel it I mean even when
00:23:52
we got to Oakland you know racism was
00:23:55
still R in the '90s as well where people
00:23:57
could just be openly racist assistant
00:23:58
teachers could too I mean I remember the
00:24:01
situation and when I went to wak College
00:24:03
in what was 1988 by the stage and these
00:24:07
girls called me a black [ __ ] so I went
00:24:10
to the principal because she was half
00:24:13
Indian and I thought to myself CU a lot
00:24:15
of the time in those times even
00:24:17
Authority didn't care you know other
00:24:19
teachers didn't care that that's what
00:24:20
was happening and so I thought well you
00:24:24
know the principal is half Indian she
00:24:26
will understand where I'm coming from
00:24:28
and she um said oh yes no we'll we'll
00:24:33
we'll take this very seriously and go
00:24:35
see your dean about it and then my Dean
00:24:37
was like this oh well I mean I don't
00:24:40
think that was racist because and she
00:24:42
said and she straight up say to me
00:24:45
because they shouldn't have called you a
00:24:47
[ __ ] but you are
00:24:52
black oh my [ __ ] god so then my mom
00:24:56
who is just like she was so anti-racist
00:24:59
and and and always taught me to stand up
00:25:02
for it she heard about it and then she
00:25:04
took me to the race relations
00:25:06
conciliator which they called it at the
00:25:08
time and I think it was Chris Carter and
00:25:09
they couldn't believe it's out it is
00:25:12
outrageous it's outrageous but good on
00:25:14
your mom and good on you for for because
00:25:16
I suppose you can go two ways you can be
00:25:18
like n [ __ ] that and you can be defiant
00:25:20
or you can just sort of Wilt away and I
00:25:21
suppose a lot of people would sort of
00:25:23
Wilt away and just hide away because
00:25:25
totally but it was see it was those kind
00:25:27
of experiences and because my mom was a
00:25:29
community leader like she was a leader
00:25:31
of the um Pacific Women's Welfare League
00:25:34
um and so she it was so so proud of
00:25:36
being Sor and never ever tried to
00:25:39
compromise her culture or even
00:25:41
assimilate to dressing more binging to
00:25:45
be you know accepted which a lot of
00:25:46
women did in that in that day and age
00:25:48
and even some of my aunties but she
00:25:50
really taught me to always be incredibly
00:25:54
proud of who I am and who we were even
00:25:55
though we're a minority no matter how
00:25:57
people treated us to always call it out
00:25:59
and to always stand up for you know
00:26:02
anything like that racism anything like
00:26:04
that when it when it happened and as it
00:26:05
happens and I I still do to this day but
00:26:08
certainly at a time when that wasn't
00:26:10
done and certainly by young girls like
00:26:12
myself oh yeah no I've always been
00:26:15
hugely vocal about that you're vocal
00:26:17
about everything though you freaking
00:26:19
know and I um I I I I love that about
00:26:22
you too like you you post some stuff on
00:26:24
Instagram and I'll be like yay go to and
00:26:27
I wish I could the same sort of um you
00:26:30
know courage and or strength and
00:26:32
convictions whatever it is you just you
00:26:34
just don't don't mind putting your neck
00:26:35
on the line eh well again that that came
00:26:38
from having a mom you know like I did
00:26:40
and that again that's why I'm so
00:26:41
grateful for my mom you know everything
00:26:43
that she was cuz if she wasn't
00:26:45
everything that she was then I wouldn't
00:26:46
be everything that I am today you know
00:26:48
the good the bad the ugly and and like I
00:26:50
said the brutality all of it but I've
00:26:52
survived you know and that's and that's
00:26:55
what we do we survive have you have you
00:26:57
the or anything over the years to get to
00:27:00
this point not not specifically but um I
00:27:04
did do a couple years of therapy at a
00:27:07
really really bad time but it wasn't
00:27:08
actually to do with my mom um and cuz I
00:27:13
don't know I mean people could disagree
00:27:15
because I think it could be really
00:27:16
useful and it was really useful at a
00:27:18
certain point in my life um but I don't
00:27:21
tend to sort of yeah um rely on other
00:27:25
people to get through things I I rely on
00:27:27
myself I do a lot figure it out yeah
00:27:29
through reading or Oprah well Oprah was
00:27:32
a great yeah reading reading I I I find
00:27:34
people who um inspire me um reading is a
00:27:38
great one because there's been so many
00:27:40
great minds who have lived in much
00:27:41
harder times than us who who understand
00:27:44
you know sort of light life and things
00:27:45
like that and and talking to people um
00:27:48
having a lot of older friends but I do
00:27:49
internalize a lot of things because I
00:27:51
really truly believe that's where all
00:27:53
our answers
00:27:55
lie 100% yeah so um
00:27:58
what why they mooved to Orland when you
00:27:59
were eight oh because um my mom's sister
00:28:05
lived up here in Orland and some years
00:28:08
before that she had lost a child and um
00:28:11
to child cancer and and my mom came up a
00:28:14
lot during that time and used to bring
00:28:16
us up and I think they just got talking
00:28:18
one day and just thought it'd be nice to
00:28:20
live in the same city yeah yeah yeah it
00:28:23
must have been um like interesting
00:28:24
you're like oh my God there's there's
00:28:26
more than three some ons yes
00:28:29
and so here's the thing I was like going
00:28:31
oh it's Christmas oh my gosh these other
00:28:34
brown kids oh my gosh you just love you
00:28:36
all you know because you know coming
00:28:38
from and they just thought I was a dog
00:28:40
and like bullied me
00:28:43
ruthlessly ruthlessly and I was just
00:28:46
like I really did I just thought I was
00:28:48
just going to arrive see all these other
00:28:50
brown kids would all want to hug each
00:28:51
other and be best friends they [ __ ]
00:28:53
hated
00:28:54
me you just like too needy too excited
00:28:57
to because because I was not like your
00:29:01
atypical Brown kid like they were way
00:29:04
more StreetWise Orland kids are so much
00:29:06
more cooler um I was a nerd straight up
00:29:11
straight up nerd and I still am today
00:29:14
but they they just saw me as all those
00:29:17
things as a nerd weirdo country pumpkin
00:29:20
you know they didn't think I was like a
00:29:22
proper
00:29:24
Brown could you're not brown enough with
00:29:27
the brown people
00:29:29
it was you don't belong anywhere totally
00:29:31
and I was honestly it was heartbreaking
00:29:33
cuz I just loved them all so
00:29:36
much yeah oh that's and so you um how
00:29:40
old's your son now what's he 30s 32 it's
00:29:43
[ __ ] crazy he crazy grown ass man so
00:29:45
you were a young solo mom um so you got
00:29:48
pregnant at 16 sucked that sucked 16
00:29:51
years awful it was awful what was it um
00:29:55
yeah like just a relationship one night
00:29:57
stand short relationship God no Dominic
00:29:59
it was I it was like my first love yeah
00:30:02
yeah we went to the same church our
00:30:03
families went to the same church and
00:30:05
that's how we met and um you know I was
00:30:09
I was young but you know I did I really
00:30:12
felt I was in love yeah yeah yeah
00:30:14
absolutely so was was there ever a this
00:30:17
is this is going really deep so you you
00:30:20
don't have to answer anything you don't
00:30:21
want um was there ever a question about
00:30:23
keeping keeping him or not keeping oh
00:30:25
100% 100% because you see um our parents
00:30:29
being woman um and sour wanted well
00:30:32
because both of his parents are sour um
00:30:35
they wanted us to get married and um my
00:30:39
son's dad at the time didn't want to get
00:30:41
married obviously it's a lot of
00:30:43
responsibility to take on I'm so young
00:30:45
and so because he didn't want to marry
00:30:49
me I didn't want to have him be forced
00:30:52
into marry me which I knew our parents
00:30:54
would have 100% just forced him to marry
00:30:56
but this is what we do you know um in
00:30:58
our culture but I knew that that wasn't
00:31:02
going to end well if this guy was forced
00:31:06
to marry me because you know out of
00:31:08
necessity yeah I just didn't see how
00:31:11
that was going to work um and so I did I
00:31:15
thought because you know I had big plans
00:31:17
my my parents had big plans for me I had
00:31:19
big plans for me and um wanted to go to
00:31:22
university and would have gone overseas
00:31:24
to go to university and so that was
00:31:26
exciting you know and all of that but
00:31:27
but I did try at the time to go and have
00:31:31
an abortion and and I I say it to this
00:31:35
day I when you just know you cannot do
00:31:39
something and it was bigger than me and
00:31:42
it was just a you know when you cannot
00:31:46
you just can't I just know what no feels
00:31:48
like and it was a no and even though I
00:31:52
knew that my entire life was about to
00:31:55
fall apart um particularly because of
00:31:59
how my mom was at that time in her life
00:32:02
um yes and the Fallout was huge huge and
00:32:08
I wouldn't wish that on
00:32:12
anyone get the box oh thank
00:32:18
goodness thank you oh cool everything
00:32:21
you have is so
00:32:23
cool did you want to elaborate on that
00:32:25
or or not really like the Fallout well
00:32:27
you know
00:32:31
um H how will say it
00:32:35
is I was very much
00:32:40
punished and and
00:32:42
and in a myriad of ways
00:32:46
for years years I can't believe you went
00:32:50
crying Dominic I'm getting emotional
00:32:52
myself cuz you're I'm just think like
00:32:54
the I mean the the twer ionizer you know
00:32:57
like now a 49y old woman like I'm
00:32:59
guessing even at 16 you're still the
00:33:02
same but you just you're just you're a
00:33:03
[ __ ] kid yourself truly that is so
00:33:06
much to go through truly truly and you
00:33:08
know um what I think the why I get like
00:33:12
this um and and things I think about is
00:33:15
the the person I feel for the
00:33:17
most not only younger me and I wish I
00:33:20
had me the adult she had someone like me
00:33:25
to tell her everything was going to be
00:33:26
okay yeah yeah but I I feel mostly for
00:33:29
my
00:33:30
son because you know when you punish
00:33:33
what way you've given him a very good
00:33:36
life yes a very good up you know thank
00:33:38
you I've done my best and I've made a
00:33:40
lot of mistakes and i' and I've done a
00:33:42
lot wrong too you [ __ ] him up but he's
00:33:44
going to have kids and he's going to
00:33:45
[ __ ] them up but you know what it is is
00:33:48
whilst I was being punished this young
00:33:51
baby was by way of my
00:33:54
situation and he didn't he deserved
00:33:57
better than that yeah all children
00:33:59
deserve better than
00:34:01
that how how the [ __ ] do you get through
00:34:04
that that period that's where the
00:34:06
counseling came in because I had to um
00:34:09
you know coupled with that and Dominic
00:34:13
we'll see how far we go with all of this
00:34:14
cuz um you know got into a couple of
00:34:18
really good and abusive relationships um
00:34:22
again because you know because I didn't
00:34:24
have my family um I I so wanted a family
00:34:28
unit um and
00:34:31
and yeah I yeah no things were were were
00:34:35
were
00:34:37
horrendous horrendous yeah yeah which
00:34:40
again as I was saying earlier th this is
00:34:43
um this this paints part of the picture
00:34:46
of your story which makes like where
00:34:48
you're where you're at now and what
00:34:49
you've done over the past couple of
00:34:50
decades even more remarkable so um so
00:34:54
you're at home you're you're a teenage
00:34:56
do you go do you to school um once your
00:34:58
son's born or do you just drop out
00:35:00
immediately you drop out was it six six
00:35:02
form then or yes I completed six form
00:35:05
not very well cuz I was about 4 months
00:35:06
pregnant by the time I finished six form
00:35:08
and uh School said that I could continue
00:35:11
to attend as long as I wasn't
00:35:13
showing so weird so weird but you know
00:35:17
everybody knew I was pregnant obviously
00:35:19
but also you know I was six form rip
00:35:21
like I would have been 100% head girl
00:35:23
had I stayed for seven form like cuz you
00:35:25
were nerdy I was all the things did the
00:35:28
musical did the you know like I was on
00:35:30
the school coun like you know I was that
00:35:32
kid I wasn't like this bad you know girl
00:35:35
you know I don't know what bad kid means
00:35:36
or whatever but I certainly wasn't that
00:35:39
type of you know student or person um
00:35:42
and I finished six form but you know
00:35:44
things were really bad by that stage you
00:35:47
know and I had to go to work um as soon
00:35:52
as my son was 6 weeks old because I was
00:35:54
too young for the
00:35:56
dpb so so that's just what happened so
00:36:00
what were we doing was it retail you
00:36:01
were in retail yeah yeah yeah so my
00:36:03
first job was at Barker and Pollock
00:36:05
which was a material shop and I was
00:36:08
getting like something like $5 something
00:36:10
an hour and then coming home and I
00:36:14
couldn't even afford like plastic
00:36:16
nappies so I had to use cloth nappies
00:36:19
and you know cleaning all the nappies
00:36:21
like it was awful like it was like
00:36:23
[ __ ] you were environmentally
00:36:25
friendly before it was it was such a
00:36:27
thing um and you know I mean and then I
00:36:30
actually after a while of working there
00:36:36
McDonald's I found out McDonald's PID
00:36:38
you 755 which was huge so I went to work
00:36:41
at McDonald's and yeah I was actually
00:36:44
before I came here um cuz I've still got
00:36:46
my plaque from July 1992 where I got
00:36:51
um uh crew member of the
00:36:54
month and I was like and you know my son
00:36:57
April May June July was four months old
00:37:00
you know and so you know must have felt
00:37:02
nice at the time like um yeah some sort
00:37:04
of validation or yeah but it was hard
00:37:06
work you know and I I I keep that plaque
00:37:08
because you know um as you say like you
00:37:11
know I don't think a lot of people sort
00:37:13
of
00:37:14
understand the actual story of my past
00:37:17
and I don't really divulge it a lot a
00:37:19
lot
00:37:21
um but it's been a journey and I I I
00:37:24
know where I come from and I know what
00:37:27
I'm been through as does my son more
00:37:29
than anyone else on this earth when did
00:37:32
your mom sort of start to accept him or
00:37:34
start to accept you as well you know a
00:37:37
mother the thing was CU my mom bless her
00:37:41
she's so she's so hard but but but she
00:37:44
she did love me and there was a lot of
00:37:46
love but for example when I went into
00:37:49
labor she came to the
00:37:51
hospital and I'm like in labor and she
00:37:54
just walks in and she goes yeah well
00:37:57
it's going get a lot
00:37:59
worse and then she was like Mom but she
00:38:03
was you know but I love you but she she
00:38:05
was she was hard man she was hard you
00:38:08
know and then though after my brutal
00:38:11
child birth because that's a whole
00:38:12
another story she did come to the
00:38:15
hospital with Dad um and she was when
00:38:19
she held my son she was actually you
00:38:22
could see that something in her was like
00:38:24
that's my grandchild and although she
00:38:26
struggled you know she did struggle she
00:38:29
did love him and I I really believe that
00:38:32
had my mom not left for sore to live
00:38:36
when he was 3 months old um I feel that
00:38:39
they we actually and her and my son
00:38:42
would have had quite an incredible
00:38:44
relationship had they had the chance but
00:38:46
we never really saw her again um only
00:38:49
about two more times we saw her again um
00:38:52
after
00:38:53
that till I think my son was maybe
00:38:57
10
00:38:59
wow wow it's just hard to Fathom how how
00:39:03
like just how tough that situation was
00:39:06
for you and did it did it feel tough
00:39:08
when you were going through it or is it
00:39:09
on reflection you look back now and you
00:39:10
go how the [ __ ] did I survive all that
00:39:13
um or both I think because you're in
00:39:15
survival mode you know when you're in
00:39:18
survival mode you are truly just
00:39:20
surviving and my son needed me you know
00:39:25
and so there's not really anything else
00:39:27
you can think about or or worry about
00:39:30
and and things were bad and I I I wished
00:39:35
they were different at the time but
00:39:37
because they were what they were you
00:39:40
just have to deal with what it is and
00:39:42
and you um his father or your your
00:39:45
partner at the time or his parents were
00:39:47
they were they much help
00:39:48
[Music]
00:39:50
no so he s of growing up without a
00:39:53
father
00:39:54
figure initially yeah um but another big
00:39:57
thing for me was again Oprah and friends
00:40:00
and Friends examples of their parents
00:40:02
and things like that um cuz I do I
00:40:06
observe the entire world all the time
00:40:09
and I learn all the time from everybody
00:40:11
everyone that come yeah this is what we
00:40:14
talked about before coming from being a
00:40:15
fish and chip kid yeah so I never wanted
00:40:19
anyone else to be a father figure in his
00:40:22
life other than his actual father that
00:40:24
was really really important to me um and
00:40:28
so whatever I had to forgive whatever I
00:40:30
had to
00:40:32
endure I was prepared to do that so that
00:40:35
that could be
00:40:37
[Music]
00:40:38
possible [ __ ] you've always had the
00:40:40
smarts it hasn't just come like I feel
00:40:43
like I'm I'm getting better as a person
00:40:45
all the time but I feel like you've
00:40:46
always been a good person oh God I know
00:40:48
if I go that far but I've always had
00:40:50
this like I said I I kind of I know I
00:40:55
mean like we all are we we're sort of
00:40:57
just who we are at all stages of life
00:40:59
but I I've
00:41:02
never felt like I was a
00:41:05
child even when I was a child um and I
00:41:09
don't know what that is or where that
00:41:11
comes from I mean I also know in my
00:41:13
household you never get treated as
00:41:15
you're a child
00:41:17
ever ever and I was like oh maybe that's
00:41:20
why and also because I had such older
00:41:22
siblings and because we always had a lot
00:41:23
of family around us aunties uncles you
00:41:26
know who were always old
00:41:28
um I've always just thought a lot beyond
00:41:34
my age I think even now as a 49 year old
00:41:38
I still think I think older than yeah
00:41:41
well well also no doubt about like
00:41:42
having a having a baby when you're 17
00:41:44
it's going to force you to grow up very
00:41:46
fast [ __ ] yeah but God it must been so
00:41:49
yeah um like so lonely like you losing
00:41:51
all your school friends you're just
00:41:53
you're bewildered like a de on the
00:41:54
headlights and then um there's an
00:41:56
incident when you're 18
00:41:58
um and Kart where you got abused oh my
00:42:00
God yeah and see that's the thing like I
00:42:04
I think again about racism and you know
00:42:07
things that people don't actually
00:42:09
remember just how blatantly racist
00:42:12
people could be back then and I that to
00:42:15
me was so heartbreaking because at that
00:42:18
stage I was still working I always
00:42:19
worked I always always always worked um
00:42:21
there was a lot of stigma around single
00:42:23
moms and I never wanted anyone to be
00:42:25
able to say you know and again I just
00:42:27
think back and why don't you just stay
00:42:29
the [ __ ] home and look after your baby
00:42:31
that's was the most important um but I
00:42:32
was always trying to B myself and make
00:42:34
sure that people weren't given extra
00:42:35
reasons to look down on me you know and
00:42:38
so I even enrolled in University because
00:42:40
I know that my mom was always really
00:42:42
disappointed that I didn't go to
00:42:43
university I only stayed one year and I
00:42:45
knew it wasn't for me by that stage I
00:42:47
think I was just on another path um but
00:42:50
at that stage I was in university I was
00:42:52
also still working and I had this lovely
00:42:54
bonad lady that would look after my baby
00:42:57
and um so I was yeah I was trying to buy
00:43:01
a birthday present from Kmart didn't
00:43:04
have enough money so went to uh exchange
00:43:08
it for a cheaper toy and this woman this
00:43:11
grown woman with a toddler herself in
00:43:15
the cart just felt the need to tell me
00:43:19
you know how embarrassing it was to not
00:43:21
be able to provide for my child um that
00:43:25
broke my heart I'm in a kid I'm a kid
00:43:27
kid I'm a kid I'm a kid I am a kid and
00:43:30
[ __ ] was bad enough as it was um and I
00:43:35
said to her you know and I don't even
00:43:36
know why but I think I was start taking
00:43:38
her back and I said oh you know for your
00:43:40
information I I go to school and I work
00:43:42
and she just mean oh you're right my
00:43:44
husband and I pay for people like you
00:43:46
like and and and I you know it was just
00:43:49
so awful and so
00:43:51
ridiculous ridiculous some unall for and
00:43:54
when we were arguing you know this then
00:43:57
this white man comes up and says to her
00:44:00
are you all right I know you said it was
00:44:02
a long time ago but it was it was still
00:44:04
the mid 1990s it wasn't you know it it
00:44:07
was recent enough how did you not turn
00:44:09
how did how did you not turn fural you
00:44:11
know what I mean and just think the
00:44:13
worst of people think [ __ ] if that's the
00:44:14
way you're going to treat me I'll
00:44:16
[ __ ] be that person
00:44:18
because there are a lot of people that
00:44:20
weren't like
00:44:22
that and the ones that I like that they
00:44:24
still piss me off to the St I still get
00:44:26
like ridiculous people treating me in
00:44:28
ridiculous ways for no reason you know
00:44:30
it's like that is just it's it's
00:44:33
ridiculous but um but I did I I was
00:44:37
shaking with my little toy shaking all
00:44:40
the way back to my bonad lady and she'll
00:44:42
tell you too cuz we we still know each
00:44:44
other bless her she's amazing um I cried
00:44:48
like somebody had
00:44:50
died just a heartbreak yeah she was like
00:44:53
what's happened what's happened what's
00:44:54
happened cuz I just walked in and just
00:44:57
like birth into tears and and look she
00:45:00
was a white lady with blonde hair do you
00:45:02
know what I mean like so yes this white
00:45:03
lady with blonde hair had done that but
00:45:05
then my beautiful white lady with blonde
00:45:07
hair is looking after my baby you know
00:45:10
as just as you know understanding you
00:45:12
know but it was it was it was things
00:45:14
like that you know again because I was
00:45:16
young you know you know and I and I
00:45:19
don't think it's I think it's really
00:45:21
unkind to to to um put people down for
00:45:27
um
00:45:29
see for not Hing
00:45:32
enough
00:45:36
yeah was that that period of your life
00:45:38
the biggest adversity you've ever been
00:45:40
through
00:45:42
um it was almost like it was kind
00:45:46
of a
00:45:49
long yeah yeah it's not like it's a they
00:45:52
get to two years old and yeah it was
00:45:55
like
00:45:57
it was a prolonged prolonged period as I
00:46:00
said you
00:46:01
know then I made choices that I I feel
00:46:05
like just always made [ __ ] worse you
00:46:07
know like looking for love in all the
00:46:10
wrong places and ending up with complete
00:46:12
CTS you know and just things like that
00:46:17
yeah so so so so that um so that that
00:46:22
version of Twi and her like late teens
00:46:24
with the baby at home or early 20s with
00:46:26
with a toddler at home um what gives her
00:46:31
the right to think that she can be like
00:46:33
a successful actor or you know TV
00:46:36
personality because where does that sort
00:46:38
of like confidence or burning desire
00:46:41
come from because I had it before I had
00:46:43
my baby m i was for me I I always wanted
00:46:50
to just do the most just always be
00:46:53
something do something for sure for sure
00:46:57
um but it would would be
00:46:59
easy I mean first of all you're busy
00:47:01
enough and you got enough going on it
00:47:02
would be easy to be sitting here now and
00:47:04
going you know what I I could have been
00:47:05
an actor I wanted to be an actor but he
00:47:08
came along yeah yeah um perhaps because
00:47:13
you know and again I'm thankful to my
00:47:15
mom to my both my parents but my mom's
00:47:18
family have um
00:47:22
incredibly incredibly high standards and
00:47:24
expectations of all of their children so
00:47:27
we were always raised with huge
00:47:30
expectations that everybody had to
00:47:32
fulfill and
00:47:35
I that was part of me that was part of
00:47:38
me yeah and do you think part part of it
00:47:42
um I don't know this is probably a bit
00:47:45
psychoanalyzing but do you think part of
00:47:47
it was thinking right if I can make it
00:47:49
on the TV or in the movies mom will be
00:47:51
really proud you know what I'm sure that
00:47:54
that has been a driving a a motivating
00:47:58
force truly and I guess where it came
00:48:02
down to that specifically because you
00:48:04
see the thing is don't because you know
00:48:06
I always did well you know I I I've got
00:48:08
no issues you know learning things all
00:48:11
of that I've been really blessed in that
00:48:13
way my whole life you know um I found
00:48:15
that really easy which I've always
00:48:16
believed was one of my advantages in
00:48:19
life that I never ever had to struggle
00:48:20
in that way so I always knew that
00:48:23
whatever I did I'd be successful at but
00:48:25
I particularly wanted to be successful
00:48:27
at what I loved and my mom never never
00:48:30
ever saw that as a viable career so I
00:48:33
guess for me yes I I always I mean if I
00:48:37
had become a lawyer if I'd become an
00:48:39
accountant whatever I would have gone
00:48:41
down you know whatever Road I would have
00:48:43
been good at it I would have made myself
00:48:45
be good at it um but I wanted to succeed
00:48:50
in this one because it's what I love but
00:48:53
two and it was not ever about proving
00:48:56
mom wrong it was just saying see Mom it
00:48:59
was possible that was all that was all
00:49:01
and I really really love that I
00:49:04
mean I love that it made her so proud by
00:49:08
the end but I did struggle in the
00:49:11
beginning I did struggle in the
00:49:12
beginning
00:49:15
um because I
00:49:17
wondered I didn't want that to be the
00:49:19
only reason that any relationship in my
00:49:23
life became good MH you know yeah like
00:49:26
that external validation sort of thing
00:49:29
yeah but how did how did you even do it
00:49:31
they were I'm trying to think back who
00:49:33
was someone on TV at the time no one
00:49:36
yeah no not not in the I mean we had T
00:49:38
to Pacifica and I think we had had
00:49:42
um there was olle who was on um was that
00:49:46
program spot on was that I don't know
00:49:49
there was like this magazine type
00:49:51
program in the ' 80s yeah so there was
00:49:53
one Sor presenter on that in the ' 80s
00:49:56
and
00:49:57
then there was uh Katherine mcferson who
00:49:59
I think was new she was on now she was
00:50:01
on now and then there was
00:50:06
me yeah and so you're such a Trailblazer
00:50:10
are you oh you know what
00:50:15
darling I
00:50:17
recognized the need and I me know sounds
00:50:20
so cliche now because representation is
00:50:22
so overused now and we've got it but but
00:50:25
in that in that time in that time time
00:50:27
when we didn't um I recognized the need
00:50:31
for it that this has to happen this has
00:50:35
to happen and it has to happen in
00:50:37
mainstream and people have to start
00:50:39
looking at us like we are the same as
00:50:42
anyone else and that was always a huge
00:50:45
motivation for me and again I got to do
00:50:47
it in in in the part of the world that
00:50:50
you know that I love like I love music I
00:50:53
love acting I love writing everything
00:50:56
the Arts is is my thing that is my thing
00:50:58
and I want to do it there yeah how much
00:51:00
of it has been um just talent and how
00:51:04
much of it has been you know hard work
00:51:05
and
00:51:06
hustle 50/50 yeah 5050 yeah I think you
00:51:10
have to have I think it helps if if you
00:51:13
have a natural sort of talent in things
00:51:16
I think a lot of people get into this
00:51:18
business now without
00:51:21
any they just it's always going to be up
00:51:23
a little battle isn't it yeah they just
00:51:25
want but you know it also works out so
00:51:26
I'm like wow you don't even have to be
00:51:28
talented anymore you can just like
00:51:30
you're just here just doing the thing
00:51:33
awesome good for you yeah good for you
00:51:36
um but um it
00:51:40
I I
00:51:42
volunteered I hustled I hustled like a
00:51:45
[ __ ] I gave up weekends to
00:51:48
volunteer I was an
00:51:50
extra I went and was an extra on
00:51:53
shortland Street you know in in
00:51:55
commercials and anything that I could do
00:51:58
again because I'm I'm an observer so I
00:52:01
want to learn the job I want to see what
00:52:03
everyone does I want to see the
00:52:04
hierarchy of how it all works and talk
00:52:07
to people talk to people you know okay
00:52:09
so what do you do how did you get to do
00:52:11
that always put my hand up you know and
00:52:14
just do these things and then and I
00:52:16
would if there wasn't an opportunity I
00:52:19
would create the opportunity and any
00:52:21
opportunity that it was I would go for
00:52:22
it and go for it and go for it and go
00:52:24
even if it was no I mean that's still
00:52:26
what we do to today I mean I still get
00:52:28
plenty of nose in in the opportunities
00:52:31
that I go for but thankfully that's just
00:52:34
how how this business is and I've I'm so
00:52:38
used to it you know yeah after a while
00:52:40
no no loses it sting doesn't it oh no
00:52:43
you know and especially yeah because the
00:52:45
thing is what it is is the right person
00:52:48
for the job right person for the right
00:52:49
job the right job is not going to miss
00:52:51
you
00:52:52
100% yeah things will things will come
00:52:55
when the time's right yeah think they're
00:52:56
saying something like that so what was
00:52:58
the first job was it the legend of
00:52:59
Johnny Lingo what's the what is the The
00:53:02
Legend of Johnny Lingo so that was a Mor
00:53:05
film and again I wanted one of the main
00:53:09
roles I ended up becoming a featured
00:53:11
extra you know and like and some of you
00:53:14
know some of the girls that I told about
00:53:15
the project got like the main roles and
00:53:19
I'm like that's okay that's okay I if
00:53:22
they want me to do one line and one
00:53:24
scene I'm going to come and do one line
00:53:27
in one scene um so that was my first I
00:53:29
think uh or one of the
00:53:32
first yeah one of the first probably the
00:53:36
first film I think cuz some of the stuff
00:53:38
you've been involved with is just like
00:53:40
iconic and groundbreaking like like the
00:53:42
SE only wedding stuff the broown stuff
00:53:45
incredible yeah very blessed so so cool
00:53:49
yeah very yeah you must be so proud of
00:53:51
that yeah and short straight you were
00:53:54
Vasa from 2010 to 2014 b b sorry was
00:53:59
that a good time you enjoy short hey it
00:54:01
was a learning experience um it's again
00:54:04
so grateful it's the best training
00:54:06
ground as an actor and I needed it you
00:54:08
know I mean I I I've kind of just gotten
00:54:11
into things before I knew how to do them
00:54:13
um you know given it C4 being the radio
00:54:16
all of this you know I I never knew how
00:54:18
to do any of it before I did it um and I
00:54:21
learned on the job and shortness Street
00:54:24
um taught me a lot and it was such a
00:54:26
great and challenging time of my life
00:54:30
yeah
00:54:31
challenging
00:54:33
um this business isn't isn't easy and
00:54:37
this business isn't necessarily nice wow
00:54:41
and what I I thought the challenging but
00:54:43
would have been learning the lines and
00:54:44
the fast no that was easy for me yeah
00:54:46
yeah yeah again you know I'm I'm so
00:54:49
blessed because the amount of work but
00:54:51
it makes you sharp you know and I loved
00:54:53
I loved you know getting to to act every
00:54:56
single day and again like learning the
00:54:58
lines you know I just eat that stuff up
00:55:00
easy yeah do you yeah amazing I don't
00:55:05
know and um yeah what what about you and
00:55:08
ask quite l so when when did I'm um I'm
00:55:10
I'm intrigued with this relationship
00:55:12
because I think there's parallels with
00:55:13
um JJ and myself as well cuz you guys
00:55:16
weren't the first um couple to
00:55:19
amicably uncouple consciously un
00:55:21
consciously uncouple you know not even
00:55:24
um old Mate Apple parents christm
00:55:27
I was like May D's got the T-shirt cuz
00:55:30
you guys yeah you guys are you guys are
00:55:32
in incredible it's such a such a
00:55:34
wonderful friendship so youse so you
00:55:36
were seeing each other and you were
00:55:38
engaged um we were
00:55:42
together how the engaged thing came over
00:55:46
came about is because again Oscar's mama
00:55:49
samon my mom um was like you know well a
00:55:55
girl just doesn't go around having
00:55:57
boyfriends you know um so basically our
00:56:00
moms said to us oh so you're going to
00:56:02
get married and we both went yeah so
00:56:06
there wasn't a proposal a ring anything
00:56:09
but we were going to get married but it
00:56:10
kind of just happened like our mom's or
00:56:12
like a convenience sort of thing well
00:56:14
not convenience thing but it's the right
00:56:16
thing to do right you know it's the
00:56:17
right thing to do we're SS you know but
00:56:19
you but you was you were so you were
00:56:21
dating each other and you were you were
00:56:22
in love oh 100% 100% and and and but
00:56:27
that was the thing you know like Mom
00:56:28
just didn't want to just hey you're not
00:56:31
just going to be a single mother with
00:56:33
boyfriends get married get
00:56:37
married my poor Mama never made that
00:56:40
dream come
00:56:41
true so so you're engaged for a bit and
00:56:44
then um he there's an infidelity oh yeah
00:56:47
yeah yeah yeah yeah big time yeah yeah
00:56:51
um does he I've heard you sort of allude
00:56:53
to this in some podcast is he like twer
00:56:55
come on stop stop bringing this up or is
00:56:57
he okay with it well no he's lucky that
00:56:59
I've never really really gone there but
00:57:01
I mean I think he's he's a good he's a
00:57:03
good we like like I I I love him I don't
00:57:05
know him all that well but he's a good
00:57:07
man and he is a vault and you're you're
00:57:10
both like so good for each other as
00:57:12
people now and the state relationships
00:57:14
at now but he [ __ ] up badly oh oh my
00:57:17
God that's that was the therapy that was
00:57:20
the therapy and I think it was because
00:57:22
of that because I think um
00:57:28
yeah I can actually say this and I'm
00:57:29
sure he won't
00:57:31
mind I think because what was so
00:57:34
devastating about the Oscar and I
00:57:37
situation was because I finally felt
00:57:40
things were going to be okay well youve
00:57:42
forgiven him has he has he forgiven
00:57:44
himself is he is he at peace with it now
00:57:47
I think you learn from these things he
00:57:49
yeah yeah absolutely absolutely
00:57:53
absolutely and this is about the same
00:57:55
time that you guys were making um's
00:57:57
wedding exactly which is which is like a
00:58:00
groundbreaking movie like it could have
00:58:02
all
00:58:03
capitulated truly you know I was like
00:58:06
this oh great now we got to go do this
00:58:09
movie together and I hate your freaking
00:58:12
guts and I you know and and like I'm
00:58:16
like this so I haven't seen the movie
00:58:19
since um in years but are you a c in the
00:58:21
movie or no God thank God thank God
00:58:24
that's an
00:58:26
you couldn't that I could not have done
00:58:28
that I was like thank God it's chimp pal
00:58:30
my best friend chimp
00:58:33
pal um so so you know I did I said to
00:58:36
him though I said you know for the sake
00:58:39
of this film because we knew how
00:58:41
important it was going to be we knew how
00:58:43
it why it had to be made we knew how
00:58:45
hard we had worked to even make it and I
00:58:48
said to him okay 6
00:58:51
weeks call the truce we're cool we're
00:58:55
cool I will I will come to work we would
00:58:57
do the thing we'll make the movie and
00:58:59
then you know the experience of making
00:59:02
the movie was incredible for me it was
00:59:04
my first feature I you know it was with
00:59:06
all our wonderful friends all these
00:59:09
incredible talented people who I I I
00:59:11
freaking admire and I'm fans of and then
00:59:15
on our final rap day they were saying
00:59:18
the the prayer and he put his arm around
00:59:20
me and I think in that moment we knew
00:59:25
there was going to be a different
00:59:26
relationship going forward you guys just
00:59:28
have each other's backs now like
00:59:30
unconditionally like yeah there's um
00:59:33
yeah one particular moment that did you
00:59:36
want to talk about the the SnapChat
00:59:37
thing or oh yeah yeah I think people I
00:59:42
mean I mean if there's anything I don't
00:59:44
know if there there anything new to add
00:59:46
to the condo how do you feel you you
00:59:47
tell me not not particularly but the the
00:59:49
so the um SnapChat thing um which I I
00:59:54
kind of like this just because of um I
00:59:56
mean in the sort of environment that
00:59:58
you've been in so this this came uh in
01:00:00
2014 so this is after you've been on
01:00:01
shortland street for four years
01:00:02
shortland Street have got a big
01:00:04
publicity machine behind them any
01:00:06
publicist or PR person will tell you
01:00:08
don't give it oxygen um and you did the
01:00:10
exact opposite because you did what was
01:00:12
right for you or what you thought was
01:00:14
the right thing to do which I think was
01:00:15
commendable but um uh we we're Oscar
01:00:18
ties into this like at the time you you
01:00:20
were like oh oh you know I think I asked
01:00:23
you to come on our radio show and talk
01:00:24
about it that's right that's right and
01:00:26
you came in and Oscar was there with you
01:00:28
not to go on the air with you but just
01:00:29
to just to drive you in and be your like
01:00:32
support person totally [ __ ] cool
01:00:34
truly cuz I was getting I mean [ __ ]
01:00:38
people were I was getting it I and I got
01:00:41
it for years and years and years after
01:00:44
what way just online online if you still
01:00:47
go there was a couple more incidents
01:00:49
later and people just continued to pile
01:00:51
on continue the pile on and you know and
01:00:54
and yeah just I I got really tired of it
01:00:57
in the end um which is I guess a little
01:01:00
bit why I I don't do a lot of these you
01:01:03
know because all it is and it's not
01:01:05
because
01:01:08
um you know I can't handle it or
01:01:10
anything like that it's just who needs
01:01:11
it who needs it I don't [ __ ] need
01:01:14
this in my life you
01:01:17
know yeah but it's um you look back on
01:01:20
that now and it's like first of all it's
01:01:22
lucky um Conrad didn't get done for now
01:01:25
you'd get done for like revenge porn or
01:01:28
whatever the label is for it again even
01:01:31
though he was just young and stupid and
01:01:32
there was nothing vengeful in it but um
01:01:35
totally but that that's that's one thing
01:01:36
that I will offer to this now um this
01:01:41
many years after cuz I think it
01:01:43
was what are we 24 oh 10 years we're 10
01:01:48
years oh yeah no yeah in May this year
01:01:51
you shared a meme about it there was a
01:01:53
meme like um something about um The
01:01:55
Warriors
01:01:56
new coach that was one of the memes that
01:01:58
came out cuz I tell you some of them
01:02:00
were actually funny and and that was one
01:02:02
hey you know what who have made that
01:02:04
that was funny but um I can say this now
01:02:07
and I remember you asking me at the
01:02:09
interview and Oscar went n and I went
01:02:11
yeah but 10 years on can totally talk
01:02:13
about it so people still today go I
01:02:17
don't even know why you came out and
01:02:19
said it was you and um well one Rachel G
01:02:23
rang me directly and said hey this video
01:02:24
is going out and I think it's you we're
01:02:26
going to run it whether it's you say
01:02:27
it's you or not but it was actually
01:02:31
after comrade called me and went I have
01:02:33
to go on for a um thing investigation
01:02:37
with the NRL so then I was like okay
01:02:40
he's you know Young starting his career
01:02:43
they're going to take him for something
01:02:45
like that it's going to so I may as well
01:02:47
just come oh you know what it just make
01:02:49
it easier but I made it easier for
01:02:53
him totally like did not realize what it
01:02:57
was going to mean for me yeah at that
01:02:59
time but that was 100% what I what I in
01:03:03
my summation of the situation and we had
01:03:06
like two minutes to think of this sorry
01:03:08
yeah we're looking at the time no no not
01:03:10
at all I'm just mindful of your time
01:03:12
yeah but see and and I just sort I got
01:03:13
two minutes to think
01:03:15
about what do I do oh [ __ ] it you know
01:03:18
what and also as I said to you back then
01:03:20
and it still was today to me it is still
01:03:21
not a big deal it never was a big deal
01:03:24
it's still not a big deal and anyone
01:03:25
that thinks is a big deal is I don't
01:03:27
know just
01:03:28
weird yeah and the fact that people
01:03:30
would still still bring it up but do you
01:03:33
the way things played out do you like
01:03:34
think in hindsight I wish I didn't come
01:03:36
forward and say it was me no you
01:03:37
wouldn't do anything differently all no
01:03:39
no no way because what I didn't realize
01:03:41
at the time um was me just being myself
01:03:45
um actually helped a lot of other women
01:03:47
because I still but particularly back
01:03:50
then and for years afterwards women
01:03:52
would literally stop me in the street
01:03:54
and thank me and say thank you that
01:03:56
really did something for me and again
01:03:58
that's why my whole thing has been you
01:04:00
know I really really really hate people
01:04:02
who shame female for anything that they
01:04:05
have to do with their sexuality because
01:04:07
we live in a time where anybody
01:04:09
everybody's sexuality is is respected
01:04:11
except for women except for females you
01:04:15
know and I that if there's a hill that I
01:04:17
die on
01:04:19
D that is it yeah good for you you
01:04:22
weren't doing anything wrong and and I
01:04:24
was 10 years ago and like it would have
01:04:25
been a big learning experience for him
01:04:26
and and everyone in that environment I
01:04:28
think totally totally totally yeah how
01:04:30
was how was your mental health through
01:04:31
that
01:04:32
period oh I I
01:04:35
suffered because of the shock because I
01:04:38
was like what is happening because yeah
01:04:41
the Fallout when I just thought oh yeah
01:04:43
it's not going to be that big a deal The
01:04:45
Fallout shocked me and I think any kind
01:04:48
of shock is traumatic um when people are
01:04:52
unkind on mess it's it's traumatic
01:04:55
anyone who's been the you know the
01:04:57
center of anything like that um they
01:04:59
will know it hurts you know um and and
01:05:01
people don't have a right to make people
01:05:03
feel that way and also people out there
01:05:05
who do that you know you know that will
01:05:07
hurt that person so you you know it's a
01:05:09
conscious Choice people aren't just
01:05:11
thinking oh I'm just doing this and I'm
01:05:12
sure she feels great about
01:05:13
it yeah and and when you're the person
01:05:16
involved there's nothing worse than like
01:05:18
scrolling and just saying like hundreds
01:05:20
of comments you don't even have to stop
01:05:21
you stop on anyone like a roulette thing
01:05:23
and it's like oh yeah that's a negative
01:05:24
one thousand
01:05:26
it feels like the whole world is against
01:05:27
you people you don't even know totally
01:05:29
totally and people still say [ __ ] the
01:05:31
most horendous things today online still
01:05:34
yeah still yeah UN about that yeah
01:05:37
totally 10 years ago totally totally
01:05:40
totally um in another L later fact sorry
01:05:44
we can move on from this if you want but
01:05:45
another like so your son he was like 20
01:05:47
at the time 21
01:05:49
22 um gosh two gosh 32 do the math 22
01:05:55
yeah yeah yeah how was that was he
01:05:57
supportive at the time must been hard on
01:06:00
oh was awful awful awful awful and again
01:06:05
years years later and people would keep
01:06:07
bringing my poor son into things and
01:06:09
again that I guess it's a little bit why
01:06:10
I sort of try to stay out of it out of
01:06:13
you know things unnecessarily because I
01:06:15
don't want the attention put on him
01:06:16
unnecessarily and I think it's really
01:06:18
unfair and and there's nothing that that
01:06:23
hurts me more or
01:06:26
makes me
01:06:30
um the fiercest I ever am is if you
01:06:33
come for me first of all but if it
01:06:36
involves my son
01:06:39
then yeah sh yeah I wouldn't [ __ ] with
01:06:45
you yeah yeah [ __ ] you're yeah you're a
01:06:48
good Mama he's done is he is he
01:06:51
appreciative you know I know as um I
01:06:54
don't know I can't speak behal of all
01:06:56
young men but you know you grow up with
01:06:57
a chip on your shoulder and you're a
01:06:58
little bit selfish and self-absorbed and
01:06:59
it gets less and less as you get older
01:07:01
yeah but is he um is he appreciative
01:07:04
does he let you know he's appreciative
01:07:05
of everything you've done absolutely I
01:07:07
think I think as but again you know our
01:07:10
kids only know us as a parent it's not
01:07:12
like they they have anything else to
01:07:14
compare it to and he has always
01:07:17
understood how hard it's been and also
01:07:20
how much I've tried as well and then of
01:07:22
course you know as as him the parent I
01:07:24
mean so the the the son looking at me oh
01:07:27
there's definitely things that I'm I
01:07:30
know um he struggled with and struggles
01:07:33
with to understand but again he's 32
01:07:37
maybe as he gets older he'll be like
01:07:39
yeah I get it now Mama yeah but we love
01:07:42
each other very very much and we're very
01:07:44
very close and I still do the utmost
01:07:48
that I can um to support his life
01:07:51
Journey yeah
01:07:53
100% oh that's so cool I love that so
01:07:57
much he doesn't have any kids you're not
01:07:58
a grandmother yet no and I would love to
01:08:00
be I would love to be love love love to
01:08:04
be um because again as parents it's not
01:08:07
till you've grown to a point yourself
01:08:11
and
01:08:12
realized once you've matured what you
01:08:14
could have done better and you get to do
01:08:16
that with your grandkids which is why
01:08:17
everyone tell you oh my God you want to
01:08:19
see my mom or my dad with you know the
01:08:21
grandkids compared to how they were with
01:08:23
them but that's because we we know now
01:08:25
now we know better now we didn't know we
01:08:27
were learning on the job and now we can
01:08:29
apply those lessons and and um I'd love
01:08:32
to be a grandmother at the same time if
01:08:35
he doesn't choose to have kids I'm also
01:08:36
okay with that too
01:08:39
yeah yeah good are you are you seeing
01:08:41
anyone are you no no no are you I I
01:08:45
think I I get the feeling um yeah are
01:08:47
you just going to sort of um cloy your
01:08:49
way through life you reckon just yeah
01:08:51
yeah
01:08:52
yeah yeah I feel like after you've been
01:08:55
sort of on your own for a certain period
01:08:57
of time you become quite protective of
01:09:00
that lifestyle like it's not like you're
01:09:02
on the hunt for someone become so
01:09:04
accustomed to it you know I think I
01:09:07
think probably once you hit the 20- year
01:09:10
mark you know um yeah to to think now to
01:09:15
I mean it's not that I don't believe in
01:09:17
being with someone or I don't love being
01:09:18
in love or I don't have you know a lot
01:09:20
to offer in relationships if I would
01:09:22
have that type of relationship but you
01:09:25
know
01:09:27
you like having your things a certain
01:09:28
way yeah you know I just don't know and
01:09:31
there's a lot of compromise involved and
01:09:32
I'm
01:09:33
like am I prepared to do this yeah why
01:09:36
should I un least you're Jason M MOA
01:09:39
yeah I mean hey there'll be exceptions
01:09:41
you know I'll be like yeah okay um oh
01:09:44
now what about scribe like I've seen you
01:09:46
a few things and um and Scribe I love
01:09:48
scribe so is are you related to scri no
01:09:52
no so what it is is Oscar and Milo
01:09:55
cousins oh Oscar Mar lady they're all
01:09:58
the same family right um and via my
01:10:01
friendship with Oscar and the three of
01:10:05
us have become uh we call ourselves the
01:10:10
Trin the what is that the Unholy
01:10:15
Trinity no we because we um we have a
01:10:20
very um a very very special uh
01:10:23
friendship where we have really seen
01:10:25
each other through um a lot in our
01:10:29
lifetimes um a lot of the there's a lot
01:10:33
of reasons why the three of us are
01:10:34
friends obviously they're related and
01:10:38
but what it specifically was I think I
01:10:40
know for myself and Marlo and even with
01:10:43
Oscar you know coming from the
01:10:45
backgrounds that we come from and the
01:10:47
lives that we come from and then
01:10:48
suddenly we have these big public lives
01:10:51
um and a lot of people that were in our
01:10:53
lives couldn't understand what we go
01:10:55
through but the three of us could
01:10:58
totally understand at all times what we
01:10:59
were going through and that cemented a
01:11:02
friendship in my life that and out each
01:11:05
other's lives that I mean it's wow that
01:11:08
it's truly
01:11:10
something yeah he's a good dude I love
01:11:13
scribe so much I love him and you guys
01:11:15
you yes you guys you Oscar scribe all
01:11:19
some ons you your careers on the rise at
01:11:22
the same time like the Crusader album
01:11:24
came out probably about same time as C4
01:11:26
he was my first interview on freestyle
01:11:28
yeah yeah yeah it's
01:11:32
remarkable yeah well who else what about
01:11:34
taer you know taer you mates with taer
01:11:36
yes I mean yeah I've known taer a long
01:11:38
time yes yeah Rita you hang with him and
01:11:41
Rita on night I mean I've met Rita she's
01:11:44
she's incredible yeah yeah it's good to
01:11:46
see these kiwis doing so well oh what
01:11:47
about you and Sam Neil there's photos of
01:11:49
you online what's your oh he's again
01:11:51
he's he's he's a good friend but see
01:11:53
just been like I'm just name dropping
01:11:54
about all my you know um no he's an
01:11:57
incredible man he's an incredible man
01:11:58
again um uh how that friendship started
01:12:02
was when we did CES he sent a beautiful
01:12:06
box two beautiful boxes of his wine to
01:12:11
Oscar and us as a
01:12:14
congratulations and that's kind of how
01:12:16
it popped off wow that Wine's expensive
01:12:19
too two panics so good oh my God and I
01:12:22
got to tell you what we did because it
01:12:23
was me champel and Oscar at at Oscar's
01:12:26
house when it arrived and I think cuz
01:12:29
you know shim was just like oh cool and
01:12:32
we drank like we just like opened and
01:12:36
probably drank like yeah a good amount
01:12:38
of the entire oh no it's like 50 bus of
01:12:40
B I know I
01:12:44
know oh it's a Tuesday night it's just
01:12:46
oh no yeah but you know I mean for us
01:12:49
you know things like that were real
01:12:51
Novelties um you know and and I again
01:12:54
you know
01:12:56
knowing people like this who I admire
01:12:58
and who are incredible like what a
01:13:00
blessing what a blessing you know um
01:13:03
when we were just over in La recently
01:13:06
for Oscar and Tiger's latest film
01:13:10
release oh last go first go
01:13:13
last and so afterwards um we're hanging
01:13:16
at that place you know the Chateau sh M
01:13:20
where everyone hangs out um and we were
01:13:23
going after the screening to catch up
01:13:26
with Michael Fender see I hate I'm not
01:13:29
saying these names to be like but I know
01:13:31
but I'm I'm I'm like provoking you to
01:13:33
drop names I'm I'm just saying like cool
01:13:36
moments you fell into my TR like he's
01:13:38
but he's such a cool guy right he's like
01:13:40
one of the best people I've ever me face
01:13:41
Bender yeah 100% he is one of he's just
01:13:44
so great and so ex everybody there's
01:13:47
just so many great people in this world
01:13:49
and and when I get to meet or even you
01:13:52
know be around anyone I'm I'm only
01:13:54
either um inspired and and learned so
01:13:58
much but we were all hanging out
01:14:00
drinking it was so fun there was all you
01:14:02
know gorgeous woman around as there is
01:14:03
an LA and then Exel Rose comes
01:14:08
up yeah and he's like this hey man of
01:14:11
course he's only coming to see Michael
01:14:13
and he's like this just wanted to say
01:14:14
what a great fan he is and then
01:14:17
Michael's like join us and then he like
01:14:19
knees me and I'm like yeah come join us
01:14:22
you know to like get EXO to come join us
01:14:24
but they were actually closing the bar
01:14:26
at that time and we were running out of
01:14:27
drinking time and we were like going to
01:14:30
the way please please no get us one more
01:14:32
round of drinks come on please and then
01:14:35
ex was like oh wait here and then he
01:14:37
goes away and then he comes back and he
01:14:39
goes okay guys I got us some more and we
01:14:42
were like this yeah come join us come
01:14:44
join us come join us and then so then he
01:14:47
does then I'm sitting there and there's
01:14:49
like Michael F here Ela Rose over here
01:14:52
there's like gorgeous LA Woman over here
01:14:54
and there's my be friend Oscar and I'm
01:14:56
just going see these are the moments I
01:14:57
love for the these are cool this is a
01:15:00
cool night what is life that is
01:15:04
amazing and you're a Guns and Roses fan
01:15:07
you freaking no did you have to hold
01:15:09
your [ __ ] tight that night I sure did
01:15:10
but then I broke the Golden Rule I
01:15:12
because you know I was like this I know
01:15:15
cuz that is the rule you know don't you
01:15:18
do not ask for photos you just don't and
01:15:21
even though you don't oh my God but I
01:15:23
was you know would had by they s would
01:15:25
had a lot to drink and I broke the
01:15:28
Golden Rule and I asked Exel for a photo
01:15:32
and and but you you got one yeah yeah I
01:15:35
didn't post it though cuz I didn't want
01:15:36
but now I'm telling you I'll show you
01:15:38
it'll be yeah you got to post it now oh
01:15:41
yeah I'll post I'll post it well cuz
01:15:43
again you know like otherwise surgicals
01:15:46
well but I mean did anything bad come of
01:15:49
it or no no it just makes the
01:15:51
relationship you're Suddenly It's a fan
01:15:53
relationship you're on a lesser level
01:15:55
yeah and you know it's just like this
01:15:58
what about King Charles there's a photo
01:15:59
on your Instagram of you and King
01:16:00
Charles oh yeah that was so hilarious
01:16:03
you you're quite young at the time what
01:16:05
was it at I was mentoring at this
01:16:08
program right and we were one of the
01:16:10
programs that he was visiting um but
01:16:13
people will tell you this really
01:16:14
happened and I and I'm not even I'm not
01:16:16
exaggerating or gessing myself up or
01:16:19
anything like this but we were all
01:16:22
standing in line to meet him and and
01:16:26
they have you know everything's planned
01:16:28
out the way he's going to walk in you
01:16:30
know who the protocol in tense who he's
01:16:33
going to meet like that and he was
01:16:37
coming he was getting you know ushered
01:16:39
in to go the way that he was meant to go
01:16:42
then he took one look at me and I just
01:16:45
went oh no I'm going to and he made it
01:16:47
be like for me but then he tripped over
01:16:49
a piece of carpet because this wasn't
01:16:51
the way he was supposed to be walking
01:16:53
and then it was like and it was like
01:16:55
this oh no and then and then we you know
01:16:58
all like these things happen you you
01:17:00
just get to sort of sit around and talk
01:17:02
but then yeah every time we talk he'd
01:17:04
always like talk to me and I'd be like
01:17:05
hey well you know my you well I think
01:17:09
it's just cuz you've got this um I don't
01:17:11
know like an aura or Charisma or
01:17:14
something I don't know I thank you I
01:17:16
mean I was in a pretty fabulous dress
01:17:19
but oh it's funny oh what about Snoop
01:17:21
Dog you hanging with Snoop Dog Tom no
01:17:24
you're just
01:17:25
yes no these are these are great Yarns
01:17:29
oh gosh but you know this is I do want
01:17:33
to disclaimer I when I'm with the people
01:17:38
that are the people when I asked AEL for
01:17:40
a photo um I I do regard them as the
01:17:44
human beings they are yeah I am I you
01:17:46
know it is pretty cool when you're like
01:17:48
you understand who they are but as
01:17:51
you'll know meeting so many people as
01:17:53
well VI our work as well well we meet
01:17:55
all these kind of people um it it's but
01:17:59
the energy of the people themselves is
01:18:01
still incredibly special because of who
01:18:03
they are but not because of who they
01:18:05
because of who they are and that's that
01:18:07
to me is what I love as well so all
01:18:11
right we'll say it like
01:18:13
this Snoop this is a long long long time
01:18:16
ago too a very very long time ago so
01:18:20
Snoop is an avid gardener
01:18:24
[Music]
01:18:25
and
01:18:28
um oh come on it's it would be anyone
01:18:31
that never smokes weed in their life if
01:18:33
you had the opportunity to smoke weed
01:18:34
with Snoop Dog you would yeah so 100%
01:18:37
yeah so so what it was
01:18:41
is yeah I just helped him out amazing
01:18:45
what do you mean you helped him out with
01:18:47
his
01:18:50
gardening the okay okay we'll leave it
01:18:54
um what about Bobby kedy Jr oh man well
01:18:58
have you like gone through my whole
01:19:00
life no h to go through your whole life
01:19:03
this would be like a a 10hour podcast it
01:19:05
is such a rich and fabulous life this is
01:19:08
just scratching the surface of um yeah
01:19:10
but the the the thing I like about like
01:19:12
the first half of this podcast it was
01:19:14
talking about some of the stuff you've
01:19:15
been through like your childhood your
01:19:16
upbringing and then the good times well
01:19:19
yeah like to from where you are um right
01:19:23
now from where you've been it's
01:19:25
I think it's something that should be
01:19:26
celebrating it's really cool thank you H
01:19:27
thank you because so that was incredible
01:19:30
again because I also am a huge admirer
01:19:34
of the Kennedy family I have studied
01:19:37
them my whole life I've always been you
01:19:40
know loved the work that they have done
01:19:42
um and what they represent politically
01:19:45
and so I was invited to this dinner um
01:19:48
where Bobby Kennedy Jr was the keynote
01:19:51
speaker and then afterwards um
01:19:55
his people asked me if I'd like to go
01:19:58
fishing the next day they were going out
01:20:00
on a fishing chatter and I had never
01:20:02
been um fishing before so I was like
01:20:05
what a great opportunity and to go with
01:20:08
Bobby Kennedy Jr so we just went and it
01:20:10
was so funny because we're like on this
01:20:12
boat I mean obviously you know it's a
01:20:14
really nice yacht um there's Bobby
01:20:16
there's me and um a couple of other New
01:20:20
Zealand politicians and basically Secret
01:20:23
Service type security and me you know
01:20:28
and I'm just going unreal yeah and we're
01:20:30
just hanging out talking and and it was
01:20:33
a lovely day who were the New Zealand
01:20:35
politicians um so Mike Moore the late
01:20:37
Mike Moore Oh yes yeah yeah y um he was
01:20:40
the head of the labor party for I think
01:20:42
he was prime minister for a while as
01:20:43
well wasn't Heen Clark way back yeah
01:20:45
yeah so he was there um Shane too was
01:20:48
there and then a lot of the names
01:20:51
escaped me the rest of the guys escaped
01:20:52
me um and then just security but I
01:20:54
remember as soon as I came on the boat
01:20:57
all the New Zealand boys had decided
01:21:00
that I wasn't going to sleep with
01:21:02
them cuz they were like man imagine
01:21:04
telling your grandkids you turned down
01:21:06
to Kennedy and I remember thinking in my
01:21:08
in my head who says I'm turning them
01:21:12
down but I got the memo I got the memo I
01:21:16
was like we could just go fishing all
01:21:18
right right right and what about oh
01:21:20
speaking of politicians um is Winston
01:21:22
Peters actually your uncle everybody
01:21:24
asked me this no he is not my biological
01:21:27
Uncle however um I have adopted him the
01:21:30
same way that I have adopted John
01:21:32
Barnett as my godfather is they're just
01:21:34
great men who I just love and admire and
01:21:37
and I do I I love Winston I I think he
01:21:40
is he is exactly who we need in our
01:21:43
Parliament and have whenever he's not
01:21:45
been there it's been a really bad time
01:21:47
um and I call him Uncle out of a term of
01:21:51
endearment and respect and I do respect
01:21:53
him and I believe that other people
01:21:54
should
01:21:56
too do you get backlash for that from
01:21:58
people like oh he he's racist how can
01:22:01
you I think people certainly especially
01:22:03
in our industry um have opinions but
01:22:06
again I I just think that's ridiculous I
01:22:08
just think it's so ridiculous it's like
01:22:10
what why do people nowadays especially
01:22:13
look for reasons to dislike somebody
01:22:16
else or to separate them you know and be
01:22:18
on a different side it's like shut up I
01:22:21
I don't care about any of that I I
01:22:23
really don't I none of it is important
01:22:25
to me I know like really none of it
01:22:28
bothers you I was listening to a podcast
01:22:30
a couple of weeks ago with um Shaman the
01:22:31
god oh yeah and um the he was asked what
01:22:35
do you think of people that vote
01:22:36
Republican and he was like he was like
01:22:39
well there's like 16 million people that
01:22:41
vote Republican like I I I can't put
01:22:43
them all in the same in the same group
01:22:45
totally same same goes here it's just
01:22:48
ridiculous yeah yeah I um yeah I think
01:22:51
as I've got older I don't know if this
01:22:53
is the thing you do but I've started to
01:22:54
look for almost like age Role Models so
01:22:56
like if I see MC Jagger on TV and it's
01:22:59
his 80th birthday I'm like okay [ __ ] you
01:23:01
you can still live a good life as you
01:23:03
get older and older and I'd put Winston
01:23:05
in that category like he's he's in his
01:23:06
late 7s always looks immaculate his hair
01:23:09
is always perfect yes he's he's handsome
01:23:12
he's sharp absolutely like mentally like
01:23:15
the stuff that comes out of his mouth
01:23:17
it's like I wouldn't [ __ ] with them
01:23:18
absolutely he's fantastic you know and
01:23:21
also what we have to remember is this
01:23:23
generation they're not going to be here
01:23:27
forever and when they're gone we're
01:23:29
never going to see this generation again
01:23:31
the the kind of lives that built these
01:23:33
kind of people you know and and everyone
01:23:35
should respect that yeah yeah 100% and
01:23:39
how about you where do you see yourself
01:23:40
in like 5 10 15 years from now who knows
01:23:43
Daran who knows you know what I've I've
01:23:45
come to realize will really apply to my
01:23:48
life is I don't attach myself to
01:23:51
outcomes truly because I also know that
01:23:54
life life can go ways that you never
01:23:57
plan no no matter how well you plan
01:23:59
things um I see myself right now um you
01:24:04
know when people like have their midlife
01:24:05
crisis you know usually happens around
01:24:08
now I am 100% in my midlife
01:24:12
Chrysalis I truly am because you know
01:24:15
Dom because of my life because of my big
01:24:18
life that I've had and I'm only 49 um I
01:24:24
haven't really had a chance to ever
01:24:27
really think about that you know I left
01:24:29
school became a mother then you know the
01:24:32
career happened and then I'm just do and
01:24:34
I'm a single mother you know so I'm
01:24:35
doing everything and now I would say is
01:24:38
the first
01:24:40
time ever that I able to sit back even
01:24:44
for a second and go hey what would I
01:24:46
like to do now where would I like that
01:24:48
to go there there's so much that I want
01:24:50
to do but it's so oh my gosh it just be
01:24:54
so many things um but there's even
01:24:57
things that you know
01:25:00
I I'm a closet
01:25:03
musician and you know I want to spend
01:25:06
more time there's certain pieces of
01:25:08
music I want to learn to play before I
01:25:10
die um you know things like that I I
01:25:14
want to continue to create meaningful
01:25:16
work I want to continue to always be
01:25:20
contributing positively to the world but
01:25:24
most most of all to the people I love
01:25:26
and I think that truly is the most
01:25:28
powerful thing we can do
01:25:31
period you're proud of
01:25:33
yourself H that's a really interesting
01:25:36
question um it's a hard one eh I feel
01:25:38
like it's maybe even I like asking this
01:25:41
to all the guests because I think it's
01:25:42
an unusual question for new zealanders
01:25:44
to answer um but especially if you're
01:25:46
like friends of mine that are s t um
01:25:50
they uh they they they to if they say if
01:25:53
you say you're proud of yourself but you
01:25:54
can often get accused of not being
01:25:55
humble enough yeah so it's interesting
01:25:58
that you bring that up because being
01:25:59
salour um so another aspect about
01:26:04
growing up with my mom
01:26:07
is she never complimented me
01:26:11
once uh in her mind it makes you
01:26:15
vain um and
01:26:19
so it's something I've never you know
01:26:22
people ask me that all the all the time
01:26:23
and I I don't
01:26:25
know I don't know if I can say yeah I'm
01:26:28
so proud of this um do I
01:26:31
love where I'm at yes
01:26:36
um I don't know I I can't yeah yeah yeah
01:26:40
that's the first thing you passed on
01:26:42
yeah yeah what what about what about
01:26:44
your mom was she proud of you yes yeah
01:26:47
yes how do you know this and that's the
01:26:49
thing um because of our wonderful
01:26:51
relationship later in life and and this
01:26:53
is why I think forgiveness is really
01:26:55
important if you don't forgive people
01:26:58
especially the people in your life are
01:27:00
important like your parents that's a
01:27:02
really important relationship to forgive
01:27:04
you don't give give them the
01:27:07
opportunity to even know them in another
01:27:09
in another way you know if you hold on
01:27:11
to these things you did this I'm never
01:27:14
going to forgive you and I'm never going
01:27:15
to you
01:27:16
know you you'll never see another side
01:27:18
of them you you won't give yourself the
01:27:20
opportunity to see it and they you won't
01:27:22
give them another opportunity to show
01:27:24
you who they are in other ways and I oh
01:27:28
my God you're going to make me cry but
01:27:31
I'll tell you how I know my mom was
01:27:32
proud of
01:27:34
me because of the way she would look at
01:27:36
me
01:27:38
m
01:27:40
wow oh my God [ __ ] I'm bumping
01:27:43
up sounds like
01:27:46
nonverbal and I would know
01:27:49
[ __ ] yeah can you remember your last
01:27:52
conversation with her yeah
01:27:55
is it in person or mhm yeah cuz I I took
01:27:58
her to the hospital and um she died nine
01:28:03
days later
01:28:08
um yeah we we were at a really good
01:28:11
[Music]
01:28:15
place and um in the end D because Mom
01:28:19
couldn't speak towards the end
01:28:21
and it was me telling her how much I
01:28:24
loved her M and it was me telling
01:28:27
her how proud I am of
01:28:30
her um and thanking her for everything
01:28:33
and just loving
01:28:35
her and I
01:28:38
think
01:28:41
sorry I think we all deserve to go like
01:28:45
that well yeah especially as as you get
01:28:47
older are it's like we were talking
01:28:48
about before everyone's human everyone's
01:28:50
going to [ __ ] up unless you never going
01:28:52
to [ __ ] up yourself truly and you
01:28:56
know it's it's this thing you know
01:28:59
you're the one who grows if you allow
01:29:02
yourself the capacity to forgive people
01:29:04
for
01:29:05
things you don't think or other people
01:29:08
think you could forgive people for
01:29:09
you're the one who grows you're the one
01:29:11
who who who who ultimately benefits from
01:29:14
that you
01:29:17
know I reckon that's probably a good
01:29:19
place to end it sh that's beautiful
01:29:21
that's really beautiful thank you I'm
01:29:24
proud of you oh thank you I know I think
01:29:27
you're I think you're awesome I um I
01:29:29
think you're awesome yeah whenever yeah
01:29:31
when whenever I see you and it's not
01:29:33
that frequently but I I just feel good
01:29:35
immediately it's just um yeah you're a
01:29:37
good person to be around you've got
01:29:38
great energy thank you thank you Dom
01:29:41
likewise I'm so pleased we finally made
01:29:42
this happen the DMS we've been going
01:29:45
backwards and forwards you've been
01:29:46
sliding into my
01:29:48
DM had Co a couple of weeks ago I know
01:29:52
it's been good it's been it's it's been
01:29:54
good and and thank you thank you for
01:29:56
this opportunity and and for the
01:29:58
wonderful conversation yeah I appreciate
01:30:01
you for being so open and vulnerable and
01:30:03
um yeah it's nice when you get the
01:30:04
tissues out oh my gosh yes that's cool
01:30:08
so this has been 1 hour 37 this is how
01:30:10
much we've recorded wow when it comes
01:30:13
out if it's shorter than that you'll
01:30:15
know that there's been some tea that's
01:30:16
been chopped
01:30:18
down how long are they
01:30:21
normally oh so yeah and between an hour
01:30:24
and a couple of hours
01:30:26
oh we're in the yeah it's it's in a good
01:30:30
sign I could talk to you forever though
01:30:31
like there's so much to your story like
01:30:33
the Osa stuff like we could we could you
01:30:35
know pick around that for an hour cuz
01:30:36
it's like such an aspirational and
01:30:39
inspirational relationship yeah um but
01:30:42
yeah all the relationships you have with
01:30:43
people are good and that's that's partly
01:30:45
because of you obviously well because I
01:30:48
I I really do maintain that Dom you know
01:30:50
I mean our relationships are a
01:30:51
reflection of ourselves and how you
01:30:53
choose to relate other people is going
01:30:54
to be your reality and I really do
01:30:56
believe in loving people I really do and
01:30:58
I really believe in understanding people
01:31:00
and and that comes from I've I've had to
01:31:02
learn to to love and understand myself
01:31:05
and especially because there was a lot
01:31:08
of the time in my life there wasn't
01:31:10
anyone else you know so I I do I I do
01:31:14
try to be the person you know that H
01:31:17
saying be the person you needed I I do
01:31:18
try and be the person I needed and I I
01:31:21
do try to be a way to everyone I know so
01:31:26
that no one would ever go through what I
01:31:27
went through you know I would not want
01:31:30
anyone to experience some of the things
01:31:32
that I have been through so I never want
01:31:34
to be a perpetrator of any kind of that
01:31:36
behavior that would cause that for
01:31:37
anyone else yeah ah you're wise if it
01:31:41
was I'm going to put you on the spot
01:31:42
right here this is a really really tough
01:31:43
question um yeah if if it was your
01:31:47
funeral and people were speaking about
01:31:48
you what three words would they like to
01:31:50
sum you up
01:31:55
I would know what they were
01:31:58
um they would say
01:32:01
um
01:32:04
loyal unconditionally loving
01:32:08
M
01:32:09
and the best time you ever
01:32:12
had way more that's a lot more way more
01:32:15
than three but but that's what because I
01:32:18
know that um We're Here for a Good Time
01:32:23
not a long time
01:32:24
and
01:32:25
so people do have a good time with me
01:32:28
and I like I know when I leave a lot of
01:32:30
people will know that remember the good
01:32:33
time well if if it was your funeral and
01:32:36
those um those three words or phrases
01:32:38
were banded about I'd be nodding an
01:32:39
agreement 100% true you're a great human
01:32:42
and thank you so much for coming on the
01:32:44
podcast today thank you darling thank
01:32:45
you for having me
01:32:47
[Music]
01:32:54
n
