00:00:00
okay Runners only with dime Harley
00:00:03
Runners only with John Harvey and Maya
00:00:05
Wilson g'day Maya hi get in nice and
00:00:08
close today come on you want to hear my
00:00:09
juicy voice yeah thanks for coming over
00:00:12
yeah thanks for having me so great to be
00:00:14
here really appreciate it you are the um
00:00:16
I went for a run this morning and I was
00:00:17
thinking about this I think I'm sure
00:00:19
you're the third
00:00:20
double International that I've had on
00:00:22
the podcast Matthew Rich rugby and Luke
00:00:24
uh Sophie Devine cricket and hockey she
00:00:28
was a basketballer back in her day I'm
00:00:29
pretty sure oh no wrong National level
00:00:31
and you you so you've you're um a
00:00:34
regular and the silver ferns have been
00:00:35
for years now and you played basketball
00:00:37
for the country as well I did I'm glad
00:00:39
you've done your research Tom like
00:00:40
you're done not too shabby I you know
00:00:42
debuted for the tofu so the woman's team
00:00:44
when I was 16. and yeah I had a pretty
00:00:47
cool pathway deciding whether I wanted
00:00:49
to go to the states
00:00:50
um college basketball scholarship or
00:00:52
play netball and I chose to stay at home
00:00:54
so
00:00:55
yo I wanted to ask you about that
00:00:56
because it seems like the um the the
00:00:59
obvious choice and the exciting choice
00:01:01
would have been to go to America uh so
00:01:03
you're obviously really good at
00:01:04
basketball like naturally good did you
00:01:06
just prefer netball as a sport now see
00:01:08
this whole decision I Loki got vilified
00:01:10
for it from so many different people
00:01:12
thinking that I should have just gone to
00:01:13
the States but I felt like I always
00:01:15
wanted to be a jewel international
00:01:16
netball were really smart and got me
00:01:19
into the silver ferns environment when I
00:01:20
was about 15 as a training partner and I
00:01:22
thought okay I've taked like half of
00:01:23
that goal off I can stay in New Zealand
00:01:26
and still study for free so why don't I
00:01:30
just take that goal off play and
00:01:32
actually get paid for it because in the
00:01:33
States I wasn't going to get paid for it
00:01:35
so yeah but there's a lot of
00:01:37
opportunities that would go you know
00:01:38
come along with the scholarship yeah I
00:01:40
never thought I was going to make it
00:01:41
though I never thought that I was ever
00:01:43
going to be WNBA worthy whereas I felt
00:01:46
like that pathway to become a silver
00:01:48
firm was pretty much I had my foot in
00:01:50
the door and in some ways I felt like
00:01:53
I'd been groomed to potentially take on
00:01:55
that cell phone's bib okay and I suppose
00:01:58
um like compare those two sports like
00:02:00
women's netball in New Zealand massive
00:02:02
women's basketball in New Zealand not so
00:02:05
massive yeah and at that time there
00:02:07
wasn't like a woman's League where they
00:02:10
were getting paid in New Zealand but
00:02:11
they they do now and I just feel like
00:02:13
I'm I'm not regretful of the decision
00:02:17
that I've made I feel like it's done me
00:02:18
quite well but I would love to play
00:02:21
basketball like I was really good at
00:02:22
smashing people like smashing oh there's
00:02:25
one of my goals if I could be on
00:02:26
smashing bro oh the crowd goes well I've
00:02:28
made I've made it yeah how good are you
00:02:31
um how aggressive can you be a nibble
00:02:34
it's quite confrontation I played a bit
00:02:36
of social netball over the years what
00:02:38
position
00:02:39
oh you're looking like a gold keep
00:02:40
Goldie to me ABC anything but Center
00:02:45
yeah I feel like uh I was really good at
00:02:49
a screen like you can actually get elbow
00:02:52
elbow grabbing but I guess the netball
00:02:54
they called it a non-contact sport but
00:02:55
it definitely has a lot of contact in it
00:02:57
especially as the I guess as the game's
00:03:00
progressing but yeah get me on a screen
00:03:02
on a pick and roll and Bob's your uncle
00:03:04
I'm in there keep you on a walk with a
00:03:06
what oh say this is this basketball
00:03:08
let's go put me on a screen oh pick and
00:03:11
roll
00:03:12
I'm go I'm going to tell yeah so were
00:03:14
you um how much how much of what you do
00:03:16
as natural Talent
00:03:18
oh yeah so okay so you were in the um
00:03:20
dual International by the age of 19.
00:03:23
yeah total twins at 16. yeah silver
00:03:25
things not long after that so there must
00:03:26
have been some natural Talent there but
00:03:27
one thing I've discovered with this
00:03:28
podcast doing this over a year
00:03:30
um natural Talent only gets you so far
00:03:33
than this hard work that's required as
00:03:34
well I've had a different journey I was
00:03:36
really lazy at high school and I was
00:03:38
lucky that I was involved in teams that
00:03:41
were successful and their netball and
00:03:43
basketball were picking me for my
00:03:45
natural Talent once I left High School
00:03:48
to play for the central pulse I learned
00:03:51
what training was so I hated running I'm
00:03:54
still not the biggest fan of run of
00:03:55
running but I know that I've put myself
00:03:58
into position that's what you do as an
00:04:00
athlete and to be the best of the best
00:04:02
that's what you get physically you've
00:04:03
got to be able to be capable so I felt
00:04:06
like it got me so far and then it put me
00:04:08
on the bench so I'd never been benched
00:04:10
until I played this or made this all
00:04:12
fans and that was a learning curve for
00:04:14
me but it just meant that I needed to
00:04:17
develop their training ethic and work
00:04:19
ethic and I feel like I've finally got
00:04:20
there now wait I forgot about the
00:04:22
running and how much you hate running I
00:04:24
I um while researching this yeah I
00:04:26
stumbled across the story that you did
00:04:27
and you you were really good at soccer
00:04:28
when you were younger yeah and you used
00:04:30
to play on the like the quarterfields or
00:04:31
the money fields or whatever and then as
00:04:33
soon as it progressed to the full size
00:04:34
field and you had to run you're like I'm
00:04:38
done I could toe hack the ball honestly
00:04:40
I was so good I could go towhead one end
00:04:42
to the other and then it got 400 meters
00:04:44
and I was like I'm not right no I'm not
00:04:46
running anymore I ran 100 meters when
00:04:49
you can stay in a five meter Circle a
00:04:51
nipple and not move
00:04:52
but now I'm yeah that's a whole all a
00:04:55
part of the job shuttles yo-yo have you
00:04:57
tried a yo-yo have you heard of it a
00:04:59
Yogo test is like a beat test but it's
00:05:01
like
00:05:02
um Sprint endurance so you're Sprint 20
00:05:04
meters out 20 meters back have 10
00:05:06
seconds of rest and it gets faster and
00:05:07
faster so as a part of our nipple we
00:05:10
have to do it and we have to make Target
00:05:11
to make silver Foods so if you're not
00:05:13
fit enough to make Target you don't make
00:05:15
the same
00:05:16
I reckon you should give it a crack oh
00:05:17
I'd love to
00:05:18
um so I'm guessing so what you're saying
00:05:20
I think is
00:05:22
um you can like make that silver ferns
00:05:25
environment with natural talent but then
00:05:27
you've got to [ __ ] work
00:05:29
I feel like I was probably
00:05:31
a very rare case of natural talent to be
00:05:36
able to make there but
00:05:38
yeah I would say I wish I developed the
00:05:40
work ethic way younger because I feel
00:05:44
like I'd be Leaps and Bounds ahead of
00:05:46
where I currently am but at the same
00:05:47
time I sort of feel like I'm starting to
00:05:49
hit my Prime so yeah yeah were you were
00:05:51
you just like were you just a big kid
00:05:54
for your age in terms of height and
00:05:55
stuff like that is that what made you
00:05:57
good yeah I've always been I've always
00:05:58
been massive like I want to say I was
00:06:01
whatever like eight years old and I was
00:06:03
the second tallest person in my primary
00:06:04
school and the tallest person was my
00:06:06
brother so my I'm six two my brother's
00:06:09
six four six five my older sister's six
00:06:11
foot and my dad in his prime maybe was
00:06:14
five eleven and my mom's five five so I
00:06:16
didn't necessarily come from tall
00:06:17
pedigree but it really helped in terms
00:06:20
of yeah Ball Sports like basketball
00:06:22
netball height can be one of the reasons
00:06:26
you make a team when you don't yeah well
00:06:27
you so you went to Mount Albert and you
00:06:30
were in the school's like top netball
00:06:32
team in your first year so you're like
00:06:34
13. yeah and you're playing with the 17
00:06:36
to 18 year olds yeah so so it was a
00:06:39
thing Becca Megs at that day was that
00:06:41
you'd start blooding some of your talent
00:06:43
from year nine so myself and Holly
00:06:45
Fowler who's in my stars netball team we
00:06:49
were a part of that that was the we were
00:06:52
blooded to be where we are and part of
00:06:54
that too I was also playing print
00:06:56
basketball from year nine
00:06:57
um what else was I doing and at the same
00:06:59
time you're playing School netball with
00:07:01
your peers and then you'd be playing
00:07:02
Women's Club netball with the likes of
00:07:05
when I first started Porsha Woodman
00:07:08
um Kayla McAllister Maria tutaya subtle
00:07:11
Fitzpatrick Jamie Lee price I could just
00:07:12
name off all these ANZ and silver Ferns
00:07:14
and so Saturdays I'd be playing with my
00:07:16
school and Thursday nights I'd be
00:07:18
playing with and against women
00:07:20
well
00:07:21
how was that in terms of um more I guess
00:07:24
the off-court stuff like do you know
00:07:26
it's a huge age Gap it was a huge age
00:07:29
gate but they treat you like a kid or
00:07:31
like a pier
00:07:34
both as we first started we were
00:07:36
definitely those young ones that were a
00:07:38
bit annoying and are they doing the tick
00:07:42
tocks yeah doing the tick tocks the anko
00:07:44
tick tocks that was definitely us but I
00:07:46
think that was probably a real
00:07:48
fundamental part of my development
00:07:50
because I was playing with some of the
00:07:52
best in the game at Club level and you
00:07:55
know and actually sometimes it was
00:07:56
harder to play school because you go
00:07:58
from playing at this really high level
00:07:59
with women to having to drop down a bit
00:08:02
there was definitely a significant drop
00:08:03
so I actually found dropping down to
00:08:05
school actually a lot more challenging
00:08:07
because I had to
00:08:09
um it wasn't the same Pace the people
00:08:11
around you weren't necessarily playing
00:08:13
at the level that you were used to
00:08:15
playing it's funny that you see it would
00:08:17
it would seem common sense that would be
00:08:19
easier it'd be like if you're an all
00:08:21
black and then you go and play rugby in
00:08:22
Japan or in France for a season you
00:08:24
think it'd be easier but I suppose it is
00:08:26
challenge it comes with its own sets of
00:08:28
challenges yeah it was way harder
00:08:30
because there'd be for example there'd
00:08:31
be balls that I would get fed from some
00:08:34
of the women that I'd be expecting at
00:08:35
school game and it wouldn't happen or
00:08:37
sometimes I'd be getting a bit
00:08:38
complacent and then someone would come
00:08:40
out of nowhere so yeah even nowadays I
00:08:42
still play a bit of Club netball and in
00:08:44
the off season to just muck around and
00:08:46
it's that whole the the style of the
00:08:48
game and knowing that actually you're
00:08:50
that older head that needs to be a bit
00:08:52
more supportive and and go with what's
00:08:54
happening around you rather than just
00:08:56
getting used to what what is your normal
00:08:58
yeah so old ahead how old are you 25 25
00:09:01
are you like one of the in the sort of
00:09:04
senior leadership team in the silver
00:09:05
ferns now
00:09:10
yeah I would probably be maybe the
00:09:13
second tier wow yeah so I have been
00:09:15
around I'm not necessarily starting at
00:09:17
the moment but yeah I've got that
00:09:18
experience and I guess natural
00:09:20
leadership so uh yeah I sort of see that
00:09:23
as my job to serve and be around and be
00:09:26
there when people need me yeah cool well
00:09:28
there's so much to talk about with you
00:09:29
and I'm so pleased you're here today
00:09:30
let's go all the way back so you're um
00:09:32
you're from Auckland South Auckland yes
00:09:36
um mum dad and two brothers did you say
00:09:39
I have a older brother and an older
00:09:42
sister yep so you're the baby I'm the
00:09:45
baby really what does that mean I'm the
00:09:46
princess yeah I use yeah I definitely
00:09:49
was when I was growing up I was the
00:09:51
person that could twist my dad's arm and
00:09:53
somehow they'd be lollies or bribes that
00:09:56
would be going down so yeah that was me
00:09:57
yeah and you're quite um you're quite
00:10:00
connected with your um your whanau and
00:10:01
your [ __ ] Papa and stuff yes right the
00:10:03
culture yeah right very staunch Maori
00:10:06
upbringing yeah your mum's got a um yeah
00:10:09
my mum's got a mukul Kauai
00:10:10
um I was quite fortunate enough because
00:10:12
for a lot of urban Maori they moved to
00:10:14
the big cities and they have to move
00:10:15
away from home but for me my um where I
00:10:18
[ __ ] a papa two on my dad's side is
00:10:19
mangere so I got to be raised on my
00:10:22
Mirai which is was really important for
00:10:24
me and maybe in some instances there's a
00:10:26
bit of Disconnect for me from my mum's
00:10:28
side where she's in the north but lucky
00:10:30
enough she's moved back to back moved
00:10:32
back to the hook young after 25 years in
00:10:34
our final home so hopefully that'll come
00:10:36
when you say raised on your Mirai like
00:10:38
what do you mean do you actually live on
00:10:40
the Merino or you live well yes and no
00:10:43
so my parents split when I was about 13
00:10:45
and my dad moved back to Ahmad back to
00:10:47
our Papa so it just meant that every
00:10:50
pretty much every weekend or fortnightly
00:10:51
I was I was there and really fond
00:10:54
memories of yeah it was this little
00:10:56
piece of Paradise in the middle of
00:10:58
Auckland that no one had a clue about
00:10:59
because it was by the airport so
00:11:01
for yeah it's a bit different now my dad
00:11:04
passed away when I was 18. so it's still
00:11:08
something that's coming it's a bit of a
00:11:10
disconnect but for me it's really
00:11:12
important that I go back there and one
00:11:14
day be the Big Chief yeah is that the
00:11:16
goal yeah yeah definitely a big goal my
00:11:18
dad had was one of the
00:11:21
um key like treaty negotiators and
00:11:24
komata on our pie so for me a part of
00:11:27
his legacy is being able to go back and
00:11:29
make things better for you know my
00:11:31
nieces and nephews that are running
00:11:32
around and for our future Generations
00:11:34
yeah oh that's cool and what was life
00:11:37
like growing up
00:11:39
baby of the family did you did you get
00:11:42
picked on by your older brother and
00:11:43
sister well they're quite nice to you
00:11:45
well my sister's a lot she's about 16
00:11:47
years older than me so we didn't
00:11:48
necessarily grow up around her that much
00:11:50
I was mostly my brother and I if you ask
00:11:53
my brother he probably found me so
00:11:55
annoying
00:11:56
how much older is he he's two years what
00:11:59
the what happened why was there a 14
00:12:00
year you you get between the first and
00:12:03
the second so my my older sister I've
00:12:05
technically I've got two older sisters
00:12:07
um they're half sisters so my dad had
00:12:09
two kids when he was about 17. my oldest
00:12:11
sister passed away when she was six
00:12:13
weeks old of caught death and then a
00:12:15
year later they had had my next sister
00:12:17
so yeah she was raised with my
00:12:19
grandparents and then once my brother
00:12:22
and I came along we were raised by my
00:12:23
mum and my dad yeah that's cool yeah and
00:12:27
um
00:12:28
Yeah you mentioned um before your dad
00:12:31
passing away so
00:12:32
um this happened on the the year that
00:12:34
you made the silver ferns yeah 2016 was
00:12:37
a massive year for me first year out of
00:12:39
school first year playing for the well
00:12:41
moving out of home living in Wellington
00:12:43
playing for the pulse and so halfway
00:12:46
through the poll season I lost my
00:12:48
grandmother
00:12:49
um from leukemia and then six months
00:12:51
later my dad passed away of
00:12:54
um a brain aneurysm caused by tumor that
00:12:57
was really unexpected and so yeah two
00:13:00
pretty prominent figures of My Life One
00:13:02
you sort of can prepare for because you
00:13:04
know it's going to happen but yeah my
00:13:06
dad was a massive shock so I remember
00:13:08
when I got the phone call I was in the
00:13:10
middle of nowhere in Wellington with no
00:13:11
reception and then feeling a bit of a
00:13:14
shock getting on a plane and my dad's in
00:13:15
ICU so dad was in ICU for about five
00:13:17
days and then yeah never never did I
00:13:20
think at 18 I was gonna have to deal
00:13:22
with wills and Estates and all that sort
00:13:25
of jazz so that was quite full-on yeah
00:13:28
we'll go back and focus on your nana
00:13:29
first because um there's a clip online I
00:13:31
watched it yesterday gave me um gave me
00:13:33
goosebumps actually so you're playing
00:13:34
with your poles team um everyone's
00:13:36
wearing black armbands there's a tribute
00:13:38
to your nana and then afterwards it's
00:13:39
it's like you just you find your mum in
00:13:41
the crowd and you just go over there and
00:13:42
you're sobbing yeah absolutely just
00:13:44
broke down I think
00:13:47
oh yeah like I said you can prepare for
00:13:49
stuff like this but then you can and
00:13:51
knowing that I had to leave my baggage
00:13:53
at the door play a game and then feel
00:13:56
not just physically exhausted but just
00:13:59
emotionally wrecked mentally drained and
00:14:01
knowing that I had to go back to a
00:14:02
funeral straight after so yeah it was
00:14:05
sort of like a roller coaster emotions
00:14:07
all happening at once and then just like
00:14:08
flopping what was it what was your
00:14:10
relationship with your nana like were
00:14:11
you pretty pretty tight yeah very very
00:14:13
close with my grandmother
00:14:15
um we didn't necessarily have the best
00:14:17
relationship with my dad's family so my
00:14:20
grandmother my and my papa on my mum's
00:14:22
side were pretty much our rocks and my
00:14:25
brother and I were the only
00:14:26
grandchildren so we were quite spoiled
00:14:28
all the time
00:14:29
um and that was the third bout of cancer
00:14:31
that my grandmother had had so over the
00:14:34
years she had breast cancer she had
00:14:35
Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and then she
00:14:37
passed away leukemia so it was a pretty
00:14:39
full-on Journey
00:14:40
um with her and yeah how old was she was
00:14:45
terrible she must have been like 71 yeah
00:14:48
that's not old yeah no it's the same age
00:14:50
as my mum now yeah and then my mum got
00:14:51
my mum got lung cancer and 20 20. so I
00:14:57
think you know should Cancer's got it in
00:14:58
for your family cancer sucks bro like it
00:15:02
sucks balls and yeah so I think that
00:15:06
impact again like every year somehow
00:15:08
something
00:15:10
uh tragic or really hard happens and
00:15:14
that I have to go through so I've
00:15:16
learned part of my maturity now is
00:15:18
because I feel like I've dealt with so
00:15:20
much crap like being there done that
00:15:21
nothing's really going to stop me
00:15:22
because I I think um there's some people
00:15:25
that are lucky that and they're just
00:15:27
born with resilience and they manage to
00:15:29
shake everything off and nothing bothers
00:15:30
them and then for everyone else maybe
00:15:32
they don't have the same level of
00:15:33
resilience but you can it's like a
00:15:35
muscle you can build it yeah do you
00:15:37
think you've always been a resilient
00:15:38
person or do you think that the
00:15:40
adversity and stuff that you've been
00:15:42
through has sort of yeah giving you
00:15:44
resilience definitely adversity and like
00:15:47
quite High adversity like life or death
00:15:50
situations or
00:15:53
um you know births of mental like
00:15:55
stressful mental health issues for for
00:15:58
people in my environment so yeah that's
00:16:00
why I'm like any little things just
00:16:02
don't seem to phase me and I fear just
00:16:05
like honestly I've been through the
00:16:06
works and sometimes I'm just used to
00:16:08
like okay put your big girl pants on and
00:16:10
you just keep going like you can break
00:16:12
down once everything's done and there'll
00:16:14
be a piece of time and then you'll be a
00:16:15
wreck but right now you just have to get
00:16:18
on with it oh good for you because I
00:16:19
feel like adversely consider make or
00:16:21
break people so it can either make you
00:16:22
stronger like it has with you or there's
00:16:24
other people that can just carry it
00:16:25
around like an invisible baggage I think
00:16:28
it's different too if it's about other
00:16:30
people like your loved ones rather than
00:16:32
you like I felt like in those moments I
00:16:36
had people relying on me so just get on
00:16:39
with it
00:16:40
um like parents fat like family
00:16:45
um or teammates like at times I remember
00:16:47
when my mum had lung cancer I'd be
00:16:49
rushing to training and then I'd be
00:16:50
going home and I had to shower mum or do
00:16:52
her pills and make sure she was eating I
00:16:54
was her full-time caregiver as well as
00:16:56
having to do yeah like media Ops and
00:16:58
promos and going to training like it was
00:17:00
a full-time gig study study on the side
00:17:03
of that too yeah
00:17:05
it's a lot to deal with
00:17:07
no just normal day in the life
00:17:10
just keep going what about um what about
00:17:13
your other siblings like you talk about
00:17:14
racing home and sharing your mum and
00:17:16
helping your mum sort her pills and
00:17:17
stuff like what were you like come on
00:17:20
guys step up I'm [ __ ] I've got the
00:17:23
netball in I'm doing this yeah yes and
00:17:25
no I guess I knew that
00:17:28
I'm one of like the pose one of the
00:17:30
people that hold it down in my family so
00:17:32
part of it I took on the responsibility
00:17:34
of that and with my being female and it
00:17:37
was my mum there was a lot of stuff she
00:17:38
only wanted me to do so it just meant oh
00:17:42
of course like the showering well I get
00:17:43
yeah just any like pretty much anything
00:17:45
my mum just wanted me to do so it was
00:17:47
because you're the most trustworthy are
00:17:49
you bossy yeah
00:17:52
I'm I'm a planner I do things based on
00:17:56
logic yeah it's quite funny because you
00:17:59
think um you think the baby of the
00:18:01
family would be like the UN bossy one
00:18:02
yeah I don't know I run the race
00:18:05
my sister Charlotte she's the baby of
00:18:07
our family and she she's bossy as [ __ ]
00:18:09
yeah boss is everyone around my
00:18:11
brother's really good too he just lets
00:18:13
me do my thing and he'll just like go
00:18:15
with it I think part of it I'm gonna say
00:18:17
that he likes me doing everything
00:18:18
because then he doesn't have to he
00:18:20
literally birthday presents Christmas
00:18:22
presents he won't do anything and so all
00:18:25
the time Mother's Day just happened oh
00:18:26
this is from myself and Country
00:18:29
everything's myself and Kay and everyone
00:18:31
knows that he hasn't done anything but
00:18:33
uh great for him and I said what do we
00:18:34
get them and I have to remind him of
00:18:36
whatever I get uh he he doesn't like me
00:18:39
I I like being told what to do I think
00:18:42
you know there's some people that like
00:18:43
that and some people want to be the the
00:18:44
leader and some people just happy to be
00:18:46
a follower I'm happy to go with the flow
00:18:47
I'm like I'm I'm Team bro on this one
00:18:49
you're Team bro so you're not dominant
00:18:50
no no
00:18:53
um just go back to that post game for a
00:18:55
second the black armband one in tribute
00:18:57
to your nana so like what do you
00:18:59
remember about the game itself do you
00:19:00
remember do you remember anything or was
00:19:01
it just like a blur like you're just
00:19:02
sort of running on running on fumes
00:19:05
yeah I can't even remember what the
00:19:06
score was I'm pretty sure we probably
00:19:08
lost because we lost most games that
00:19:09
year yeah nothing it just feels like it
00:19:13
went so fast and
00:19:15
I remember being exhausted and most of
00:19:18
my memories of that game actually is of
00:19:19
that piece that you watch so yeah it's
00:19:21
crazy how you can just black out some
00:19:23
moments Nick do you remember that piece
00:19:26
that I mentioned that's online do you
00:19:27
remember that from being in the moment
00:19:29
or from like watching it online at a
00:19:31
later date
00:19:33
um probably watching it online
00:19:35
I I remember the whole scenario but I
00:19:38
wouldn't remember anything situation or
00:19:41
any of the context of it just yeah
00:19:43
completely gone from my memory yeah can
00:19:46
you remember if you had a good game or
00:19:47
not
00:19:48
did I have a good game
00:19:51
no I can't remember honestly nothing
00:19:53
yeah
00:19:55
yeah isn't that crazy so you're just
00:19:56
sort of running on autopilot muscle
00:19:57
memory
00:19:59
autopilot and just get through like all
00:20:01
you've got to do is survive and get
00:20:02
through it you'll be sweet once you do
00:20:03
yeah
00:20:05
such a nice tribute being able to wear
00:20:06
the black bands for your nana yeah I was
00:20:08
really grateful too because yeah I was
00:20:10
the youngest of the team so well one of
00:20:12
the younger ones and
00:20:13
you feel like it brings people together
00:20:15
you feel a bit more loved and I also had
00:20:17
to fly up earlier than the team when
00:20:19
that happened too so it's different
00:20:22
um yeah traveling with a team you're
00:20:24
stuck with everyone for a whole day or a
00:20:25
couple of days and then sometimes it's
00:20:27
quite disruptive when people come in and
00:20:28
out so really grateful for that yeah
00:20:30
whose idea was it was it like the coach
00:20:32
or the captain it's quite a common thing
00:20:34
a nipple to wear black armbands and and
00:20:37
tribute to someone so I can't remember
00:20:39
whose it was
00:20:40
but yeah yeah that's cool
00:20:43
um and you're dead so tell us about
00:20:45
Joseph Wilson Joseph Wilson hey
00:20:48
um oh jeez what do I talk about my dad
00:20:50
hey I was daddy's little girl and so
00:20:53
pretty much whatever I wanted I got yeah
00:20:55
I mentioned so yeah I talk about my this
00:20:59
is the difference between my brother and
00:21:01
I my dad would always he loved trade me
00:21:03
and he loved going to like car fares so
00:21:05
we would he would be like he'd want a
00:21:07
mate to go I said ask one of us like
00:21:09
who's gonna who wants to come to coffee
00:21:10
would both say no and then in bribery be
00:21:12
like you can get hot chocolates and hot
00:21:13
chips and so I would always say yes and
00:21:16
my brother would never go so I was the
00:21:18
one who was easily bribed
00:21:19
um my dad when my parents split my dad
00:21:21
to bust like did all the basketball
00:21:23
stuff with me my mum did all the nipple
00:21:25
stuff so we lived in like Hillsborough
00:21:28
and magnet in so we and I would play out
00:21:30
in West Auckland so it would mean a lot
00:21:32
of time and the car was dead just
00:21:34
cruising around
00:21:36
um when I moved to Wellington and he'd
00:21:39
come and fly to see me in some of my
00:21:41
games my favorite food in the world is a
00:21:43
steak and egg fry boob from the autoplay
00:21:44
markers like it's just what steak and
00:21:46
steak and egg fry bread from the outside
00:21:48
of flea market what's that
00:21:52
yeah and the steaks steak and onion is
00:21:56
marinated in a plum sauce like it's the
00:21:57
greatest greatest hits a heart attack
00:22:00
waiting to happen
00:22:01
I've got another funny story about that
00:22:03
but I've never heard a heart attack and
00:22:06
funny story in the same sentence I'm
00:22:07
looking forward I actually I actually
00:22:09
took one of my former Stars teammates
00:22:11
out then and she was like normally
00:22:12
people like this is so good like this is
00:22:14
so young she was the first one who said
00:22:15
this is my cholesterol intake for the
00:22:17
month
00:22:19
let's check from Christchurch and I was
00:22:21
like never I was a gobsmack I was like
00:22:23
who says it like this is the best but
00:22:25
when we're dead he would
00:22:32
he would fly down to watch some of my
00:22:34
games on a Sunday and on a Saturday
00:22:36
morning at five o'clock he would go and
00:22:38
buy me like three steak and egg fry
00:22:39
Breads and then fly them like bring them
00:22:41
down three months worth of cholesterol
00:22:43
three months worth of cholesterol intake
00:22:46
and boom that's that that was him so
00:22:49
yeah feeling best feeling was that he
00:22:52
never got to see me play live for the
00:22:54
ferns but he's got to watch me debut
00:22:57
from home and he was even when I first
00:22:59
wore the dress
00:23:01
um so and singing the National Anthem so
00:23:03
it takes something of real Pride for me
00:23:05
to wear Wilson on the back knowing that
00:23:07
he's no longer here yeah
00:23:09
and how old were your parents um they
00:23:12
were held were you when your parents
00:23:13
broke up I was about 13. I was just
00:23:14
about high schools like January before I
00:23:16
started High School yeah what are your
00:23:18
Recollections of that what sort of
00:23:19
impact did that have on you
00:23:20
well it's interesting because I think I
00:23:23
developed a better relationship with my
00:23:24
dad once did
00:23:26
um left home and
00:23:28
but at the same time I got really good
00:23:31
times a day so like I said he was buying
00:23:33
me the hot chocolate the hot chips and
00:23:35
the lollies and so everything with Dan
00:23:36
was just amazing whereas mum and her
00:23:39
whatever was happening her telling me to
00:23:41
tidy up my room I was just not having a
00:23:43
bar of it so he was like the fun dead
00:23:45
and someone had to be the discipline
00:23:47
yeah he was the fun dead mum was the one
00:23:49
who was really holding down the fort
00:23:50
that I learned now but she was just
00:23:52
trying to boss me around
00:23:54
dominant and I just did not want to have
00:23:56
it
00:23:57
about it heads but I mean the way things
00:24:00
panned out with losing your debt
00:24:02
especially such a young age it's nice
00:24:03
that I I don't know I suppose it's nice
00:24:05
that there was that separation and he he
00:24:07
did maybe go the extra mile and above
00:24:09
and beyond yeah to to spoil you in a way
00:24:12
yeah definitely leaves you with these
00:24:14
good lasting memories yeah definitely
00:24:15
yeah so do you remember I was okay so
00:24:18
you yeah there's a photo on Instagram of
00:24:20
you and your mum and your dad your first
00:24:22
silver ferns game you are way taller
00:24:24
than both of them
00:24:26
um where was that
00:24:28
that was spark Arena here in Auckland
00:24:31
2016. wow can you what happens when you
00:24:34
make the silver fence like did you do
00:24:35
you know you're about to be named or is
00:24:37
it a surprise phone call do you know
00:24:39
you're sort of in the realm of being
00:24:41
named well so yeah when I
00:24:44
what happened is we had a silver fence
00:24:47
trial for the squads right after the ANZ
00:24:49
championship and so I went and I was
00:24:51
honestly I went trial games three days
00:24:54
and I literally was just got off the
00:24:55
phone to my mum and I was like I'm ready
00:24:57
for you to pick me up like take me get
00:24:58
some KFC but I had it all planned out
00:25:01
and then that yeah by my apologies if
00:25:04
any uh nipple nutritionists are
00:25:06
listening to this hey I've come a long
00:25:08
way I've come a long way all in
00:25:10
moderation I told you I was a big gal
00:25:12
when I was at high school
00:25:15
um and so we got letters that was the
00:25:17
thing that yeah so I came back out of
00:25:19
the shower and there was a letter lying
00:25:20
on my bed and it said I had made it and
00:25:22
I had to call Mum and saying I was
00:25:23
gouted that I couldn't have some KFC
00:25:24
because I was staying in Camp for a bit
00:25:26
longer and then I remember walking out
00:25:29
of my room to go and see um Amela around
00:25:32
ikanasio actually and at the same time
00:25:34
Catherine latu or Catherine Tui vit
00:25:37
walked out and I had made it in over her
00:25:39
so it was her position that I had taken
00:25:42
and I remember thinking like
00:25:48
she's probably like 30 31. and we were
00:25:54
look yeah we were literally the same
00:25:55
position so I remember just walking out
00:25:57
and I was so nervous because I was like
00:25:59
I've literally just taken This Woman's
00:26:01
spot
00:26:02
and at that point I didn't know whether
00:26:04
I deserved it either
00:26:05
I was like she's amazing and she was
00:26:08
really good about it like she gave me a
00:26:09
big hug but yeah it's something that
00:26:11
will stay in the back of my mind
00:26:15
awkward AF yeah um but I mean yeah it's
00:26:19
a reality of sport though isn't it and
00:26:21
this could be you in five years time
00:26:22
literally could be me so like you know
00:26:25
you can be so disposable like people can
00:26:28
just flick you away and I think
00:26:30
sometimes it's hard being in such a very
00:26:32
conservative sport I know I'm very PC
00:26:35
because at times I don't want anything
00:26:38
that I say or I do to negatively affect
00:26:41
me or the sport or the organization what
00:26:44
do you mean it's a conservative sport
00:26:46
I feel like being these things that we
00:26:49
do as netballers or as women that I feel
00:26:51
like we get blown up for
00:26:54
and then some of the men like the rugby
00:26:56
players like it's just a normal part of
00:26:57
their day can you think of any examples
00:27:00
um yeah some of them involved like
00:27:02
alcohol like even just a beer and a
00:27:04
changing room poster rugby match is a
00:27:06
normal thing but I think that's still
00:27:08
sponsored by Stein lager yeah yeah you
00:27:10
know like and there's nothing wrong with
00:27:12
that by the way but it was more the fact
00:27:13
that yeah sometimes we can be out at
00:27:16
dinner having a few drinks and
00:27:18
we get yeah
00:27:20
it's different is that right
00:27:22
unbelievable who who's making a big deal
00:27:24
about this I've completely I've
00:27:25
completely missed is it or does it a
00:27:27
social media thing or is it something in
00:27:29
the media
00:27:31
yeah a bit of both right yeah a bit of
00:27:33
both I think sometimes like it's it's
00:27:35
definitely something that I've
00:27:37
internalized all the time and I'm very
00:27:39
cautious about what I do when I'm in
00:27:41
public or just meet anyone's around but
00:27:44
yeah I just feel like it's maybe it's
00:27:46
something about nipple in particular or
00:27:48
just because we're what do you think
00:27:49
it's like a sexism thing maybe
00:27:51
even even if it's even if it's not
00:27:53
deliberately sexist maybe it is it's
00:27:55
like a bias maybe I I just this is what
00:27:59
I see when I look at look at our rugby
00:28:01
men right and sometimes I just feel like
00:28:03
I don't think we could ever do that um
00:28:06
so how what does the Silver Fin
00:28:09
celebration look like so say you're in
00:28:11
Birmingham for the Commonwealth Games
00:28:12
yeah you win a bronze yeah what does
00:28:15
that night look like I had a great night
00:28:18
I had a great night yeah a lot of it
00:28:20
sometimes I actually can't remember but
00:28:22
I feel like I feel like the um the media
00:28:24
will give you you a free pass near the
00:28:27
end of a tournament if you've done well
00:28:28
enough yeah like the um the All Blacks
00:28:30
won the 2011 Rugby World Cup I was
00:28:32
living just around the corner from um
00:28:33
Ali Williams and there was a people
00:28:34
still spilling out of his house at you
00:28:36
know seven eight nine in the morning the
00:28:37
next day then everyone turned up to the
00:28:39
parade in queensford all hung over and I
00:28:41
feel like everyone's fine with that but
00:28:42
if it was in the middle of like a
00:28:43
blessed Series yeah oh it's about timing
00:28:46
hey like so all about timing but yeah I
00:28:50
had a great time in Birmingham like it
00:28:51
was my first commonwealth games like
00:28:53
because for us we've only got two
00:28:54
Pinnacle events com games and World Cup
00:28:56
so I um there's always celebrations at
00:29:00
the end regardless of the result you
00:29:02
still want to celebrate the small
00:29:04
achievements you have so yeah bronze
00:29:05
wasn't what we went there for but there
00:29:08
was still so much on the path that you
00:29:09
need to celebrate so it's yeah we're so
00:29:12
humans like we're still normal people
00:29:15
sometimes people put this athletic tag
00:29:16
and put us on a pedestal that I
00:29:18
personally don't think we should be on
00:29:19
well I mean it's um it's a it's a career
00:29:22
that requires like I suppose a lot of
00:29:25
sacrifices in a lot of ways like you
00:29:26
know you need to you watch what you eat
00:29:28
watch what you drink so I mean yeah you
00:29:30
should be able to cut loose every once
00:29:31
in a while it's not like I'm you know
00:29:33
getting on the piss every night and and
00:29:35
like normal people have like what Friday
00:29:36
night drinks they don't drinks it's sort
00:29:38
of the same just yeah we have to I guess
00:29:42
organize our life around Sports so we're
00:29:44
not going to be I'm playing on Sunday
00:29:45
I'm definitely not going to be doing it
00:29:47
tomorrow night or tonight you know like
00:29:49
but doesn't mean maybe after Sunday game
00:29:51
I can't celebrate with people yeah 100
00:29:53
yeah 100 where's the where's the bronze
00:29:56
medal what have you done with that is it
00:29:57
in the draw some place them it's not in
00:29:59
the drawer no it'll be on display
00:30:01
somewhere like at your mom's house no I
00:30:04
it's in it is in a drawer oh at home I
00:30:08
don't know what to do with it and I've
00:30:10
still got all this gear that just sits
00:30:12
in a bag in my wardrobe
00:30:20
games kit that's literally just sitting
00:30:23
in a bag in a wardrobe and I'm quite
00:30:25
particular with who I give my things to
00:30:27
only because I want to give them to
00:30:28
people that really appreciate it or like
00:30:31
got a bit of gratitude for it because
00:30:32
sometimes I'm not gonna like I've seen
00:30:34
Silver Fern's kit and freaking Save Mart
00:30:36
like someone really wanted that stuff so
00:30:39
they chucked it to save my industry
00:30:44
do you know whose kid it was and save
00:30:46
that yeah I don't know whose kid it was
00:30:48
but I remember there was Van Dyke who
00:30:50
Could That Be it was this
00:30:52
um storm purpose who works for crowd
00:30:54
goes well this guy it was it had SP on
00:30:56
it so we knew whose initials it was
00:30:58
whose top it was we just had no clue who
00:31:01
she gave it to and who so yeah someone
00:31:03
maybe storm took it to Save Mart yeah
00:31:06
maybe she already was really hard up
00:31:07
this week maybe she wanted extra two
00:31:09
bucks yeah dude um I don't know if you
00:31:12
want to talk about the money side of
00:31:14
things but do you get paid as a silver
00:31:15
food yes yeah is the money money good is
00:31:18
it okay so our contracts are split
00:31:21
between
00:31:22
um our ANZ Premiership team and our
00:31:24
silver Fern so for ANZ Premiership if
00:31:27
you're not on Silver ferns you're pretty
00:31:29
much on I think the minimum is 23k
00:31:31
that's not that's normal you can't live
00:31:34
on that and it's pretty much like a six
00:31:36
to nine month commitment
00:31:38
um but
00:31:39
for silver Foods because you've got the
00:31:41
income of both ANZ which is mostly where
00:31:43
you make your big money and you get the
00:31:46
top up of of the silver ferns it's a
00:31:48
full-time gig right
00:31:50
um and is it like the All Blacks where
00:31:52
like the more I don't know the longer
00:31:54
you've been around or the more famous
00:31:55
you are the more well-known you are you
00:31:57
get paid more or is it sort of like a
00:31:58
flat rate no it's not a flat rate it's
00:32:00
definitely based on your value so
00:32:03
normally if you're in the starting seven
00:32:04
you would be up in the higher tiers
00:32:07
um
00:32:07
but yes that's pretty much how it goes
00:32:10
what is that the high tier band look
00:32:12
like
00:32:13
looks like 100 over 100k if you combine
00:32:16
it yes yeah right yeah if you combine
00:32:18
both salaries it definitely is yep but I
00:32:22
don't know it's not great money hey I
00:32:24
mean it's it's like it's it's nothing to
00:32:26
score fat but you you know at the end of
00:32:28
this career at 30 35 whatever it happens
00:32:31
to be then you're going to start
00:32:32
something else yeah yeah you have to
00:32:34
have a backup plan or you could be
00:32:36
injured and no one wants you like it's
00:32:39
pretty Cutthroat in terms of sport
00:32:42
um yeah I do get jealous when I see some
00:32:43
of our like some of the cricketers what
00:32:45
they earn in the IPL like holy heck I'm
00:32:48
in the wrong side
00:32:51
tennis you need like an Indian netball
00:32:54
League yeah that's crazy money they get
00:32:56
over there right insane it's only for
00:32:58
like a short sentence only like for two
00:32:59
or three months too so like
00:33:01
please look we just need more people in
00:33:04
like the States and China and India to
00:33:06
want to play any balls and then we'll
00:33:08
have an IPL where is where is netball
00:33:10
back it's massive here Commonwealth so
00:33:12
Jamaica uh so Australia New Zealand
00:33:15
England Jamaica are the top four teams
00:33:18
um you see a lot South Africa's in there
00:33:20
you see a lot of uh International
00:33:22
imports from Malawi Jamaica South Africa
00:33:25
going to the Australian and the um
00:33:27
English league so there's only three
00:33:30
professional leagues in the world
00:33:33
um but most to be honest you're only
00:33:35
making money in Australia New Zealand
00:33:37
like good money yeah and when they when
00:33:39
they fly you away for silverfin
00:33:40
tournaments you they fly your business
00:33:42
class or no really no it's quite funny
00:33:45
like having um I've had um Tyler Nathan
00:33:47
Wong from yes yeah well because NZ are
00:33:50
you so yeah they fly business yeah so I
00:33:52
had her on the podcast and Sophie Devine
00:33:53
who has played Cricket for New Zealand
00:33:55
for a million years and she talked about
00:33:57
the changes she's seen in her time and
00:33:59
it goes from like hand-me-down gear in
00:34:01
the to now flying business class places
00:34:04
I'm surprised you guys are all tall well
00:34:06
literally
00:34:08
four people we're over six foot like
00:34:10
we're massive but we have just been told
00:34:13
that for this world World Cup we can get
00:34:16
a one-way premium
00:34:22
to South Africa but economy back and
00:34:26
because like for a lot of us we do one
00:34:27
or one to two big trips a year like
00:34:29
going to South Africa and UK like it's
00:34:30
not down the road yeah when you're going
00:34:33
to somewhere like Aussie like it's not
00:34:35
that big of a deal yeah three hours
00:34:36
that's fine yeah it's fine
00:34:38
you're about the same height as me it's
00:34:40
it's economy you know people are going
00:34:43
to be like world's smallest violin but
00:34:45
economy's rough when you're over six
00:34:47
foot the piston in front of you puts the
00:34:49
seat down and it's basically like on
00:34:51
your lap yeah and so we're lucky
00:34:53
sometimes we're lucky enough we get exit
00:34:55
rows
00:34:56
uh but I don't know for me I can't sleep
00:34:59
upright like I need to lie down so it's
00:35:01
really uncomfortable and yeah there
00:35:03
definitely are times where my knees are
00:35:05
kissing and the poor person in front of
00:35:08
me yeah like they must feel my knees up
00:35:10
their butt yeah it's the same other guy
00:35:13
said everyone say do you mind not
00:35:14
kicking the seat and I'm like I'm sorry
00:35:16
I I wasn't kicking the seat it was like
00:35:18
just moving around it playfield's one of
00:35:20
those like one of those awful massage
00:35:21
chairs in the mall I'm like we normally
00:35:23
fight in New Zealand so in New Zealand
00:35:25
definitely isn't that bad but I remember
00:35:26
I flew China Southern once for
00:35:28
basketball I'm literally hip to hip
00:35:30
squeezing into a seat and then like yeah
00:35:33
my feet would just not fit oh yeah
00:35:36
that's not a great yeah Southern Charm
00:35:37
not a great Airline like if you look
00:35:39
online for the cheapest flights it's
00:35:40
always Southern China Airlines yeah
00:35:42
never again this is something
00:35:44
um
00:35:45
yes so um
00:35:47
your back to your mum so so she got the
00:35:50
cancer after your dad passed yeah yeah
00:35:52
so when did when did your mum get sick
00:35:54
my mum got sick 20 20. um she found out
00:35:57
the day we went on to lockdown the first
00:35:59
lockdown
00:36:00
so that was really full-on
00:36:02
um I had also pretty much until last
00:36:05
year I'd been living half the year in
00:36:07
Auckland half year Wellington so it
00:36:09
meant that I stayed in Auckland for a
00:36:10
lot longer than I was supposed to and
00:36:12
that was hard because it got to a point
00:36:14
where like Frick am I gonna lose both my
00:36:15
parents and I'm 20. like what the hell
00:36:19
what the hell is that gonna be and then
00:36:20
it's a terrifying Prospect Day yeah like
00:36:23
never in the world did I think like Dan
00:36:25
would just literally pretty much drop
00:36:26
dead and then a couple years later mum's
00:36:29
really sick so she had a third of her
00:36:31
right lung cut out
00:36:34
um and it just meant things like like
00:36:37
laughing and coughing and eating and
00:36:39
literally everything was a struggle we
00:36:42
lived in a four-story house and to get
00:36:45
to like the kitchen or the bathroom or
00:36:47
wherever she was she would have to walk
00:36:48
up so many stairs and that was a
00:36:50
challenge for her so yeah that was quite
00:36:52
that was a big thing four-story house
00:36:54
mansion oh it wasn't me changing her
00:36:56
quite a picture here no it was a
00:36:58
Victoria's house in Hillsborough it was
00:37:00
not what you think could you not just
00:37:01
put mum in the elevator
00:37:03
maybe if I carried her up there maybe
00:37:06
yeah
00:37:07
oh man that's a lot to go through yeah
00:37:09
yeah and so the the treatment and stuff
00:37:12
during lockdown like how did that look
00:37:14
were you able to like go to go to a
00:37:15
hospital appointments for having
00:37:17
treatment like she couldn't have the
00:37:19
surgery until pretty much post
00:37:22
lockdown so yeah she didn't have until
00:37:24
about three months later
00:37:27
um and then she found out like she had
00:37:28
heart issues all these things that
00:37:31
started to pop up and I'm like yeah
00:37:33
there's also another reason why like I
00:37:35
took
00:37:36
pretty much full control of the
00:37:38
household I don't think my stepdad
00:37:40
really appreciated because I sort of
00:37:41
came in like a hurricane and be like
00:37:42
you're doing this and you're doing that
00:37:44
it's just stupid is that your mum's my
00:37:45
mum's yeah my mum's partner so they've
00:37:47
been together pretty much since I was
00:37:49
15. so yeah I came in like a hurricane
00:37:51
and just took control yeah oh good for
00:37:54
you well someone has to right someone
00:37:56
has to I'm a control like there are
00:37:57
parts of I'm a control freak too so yeah
00:38:00
if it's not my way sometimes it's
00:38:01
definitely the highway and
00:38:04
um your stepdad is he a good guy you
00:38:06
like him yeah I've known my stepdad All
00:38:09
My Life
00:38:10
um they they used to go to Teachers
00:38:12
College together back in the 80s so he's
00:38:14
always I call him Uncle Raj because in
00:38:17
brown families you always call me run
00:38:19
Auntie and Uncle even if they're you're
00:38:20
not related so I love it yeah Uncle
00:38:22
Roger's been around forever
00:38:24
um so it's yeah not just a friend but
00:38:26
yeah now right do you always have an eye
00:38:28
on your mum even when she was married
00:38:36
he's got like he's got kids and stuff
00:38:39
too so he's definitely only got all
00:38:41
lives for my mum now your dad never made
00:38:43
things like oh yeah bloody uncle Rod
00:38:44
he's been waiting for this I'm picture
00:38:47
you he did it just never came out
00:38:49
and what was your mum and Dad's like
00:38:51
relationship like after they broke up
00:38:52
were they still all right was it quite
00:38:54
sort of amicable and yeah definitely
00:38:56
definitely my brother and I were at the
00:38:59
core of like co-parenting and making
00:39:02
everything like was was going on all
00:39:04
right I guess
00:39:06
um financially my mum really took the
00:39:08
helm and she would save it was crazy the
00:39:10
amount of money that I would cost like
00:39:13
one year'd be 30k I think she would be
00:39:15
35k 40K 45 for sports exchanges yeah I
00:39:20
was playing in pretty much six different
00:39:22
netball teams I was playing in probably
00:39:25
about four or five different basketball
00:39:27
teams I was doing Athletics like I
00:39:29
wasn't bad thrower like I was just doing
00:39:31
everything so it added up like nipple
00:39:34
shoes are like 300 bucks socks like
00:39:37
everything fees basketball in particular
00:39:39
was expensive a trip to Aussie was like
00:39:41
Seven Grand
00:39:42
did you did you appreciate that at the
00:39:44
time was it only like Looking Back Now
00:39:45
from the lens of like a woman in her
00:39:47
mid-20s that you're like [ __ ] that was a
00:39:49
lot mum and dad did I never I knew it
00:39:52
was going on but I never really
00:39:54
resonated with me and it's not until I'm
00:39:55
an adult now and earning my own money
00:39:57
I'm like [ __ ] the amount like Mum would
00:40:00
have to save and pretty much it was just
00:40:02
mum my dad wasn't in the position to be
00:40:05
able to help so I don't know how she did
00:40:07
it and she hated fundraising because she
00:40:09
would always be the same people giving
00:40:11
and she didn't want to continue to give
00:40:13
money out of yeah our whanau friends so
00:40:16
my mum's incredible we I guess we're so
00:40:19
similar when I was younger we clashed a
00:40:22
lot but now as an adult like we're on
00:40:24
the phone all the time like every day
00:40:25
pretty much I admire the investment that
00:40:28
both my parents have made of me like
00:40:30
lucky I bloody made it think about 250
00:40:34
300 Grand wasted
00:40:36
if I didn't actually give it a good
00:40:38
crack well there's I think there's
00:40:40
nothing whisper like anybody
00:40:42
um then not not Reaching Your Potential
00:40:44
whatever that may be maybe it's netball
00:40:45
or sport maybe it's not but um yeah
00:40:47
they've made that investment in you but
00:40:49
you've sort of met them halfway I guess
00:40:50
by trying your [ __ ] hardness yeah
00:40:53
like thank God yeah I'm too determined
00:40:56
I'm very driven I'm very ambitious some
00:40:58
says I can't do something I'll be like
00:41:00
I'll just show you like is that what is
00:41:02
that like a superpower video do you
00:41:03
think
00:41:05
um like it's got you to where you are
00:41:07
yeah yeah part of it the first it's to
00:41:11
being developed so the first part of it
00:41:13
I just knew I had raw Talon and I was
00:41:15
naturally good at sport could pass and
00:41:17
catch Ball but this time I'm it's it's
00:41:21
sometimes it's my profile it's my sport
00:41:23
that gets me in the door but it's
00:41:25
actually me that opens the door yeah
00:41:26
just walk through yeah
00:41:28
but you seem very confident
00:41:30
yes in ways I'm the most secure insecure
00:41:34
person you'll probably ever meet what
00:41:36
does that mean
00:41:38
um what does it mean I'm very proud of
00:41:41
the person that I am some people might
00:41:43
call me arrogant or quite
00:41:45
um yeah very aggress yourself or yeah a
00:41:48
little bit a little bit but I like to
00:41:52
think that I've got to know who you are
00:41:54
I know who I am I would never do
00:41:56
anything to hurt or harm anyone and it's
00:41:58
about the people like I'm in a team
00:42:00
sport so it's about the collective not
00:42:02
necessarily about my own success
00:42:04
but and then you break it down a level
00:42:06
and then I've had massive like body
00:42:09
image issues in the past I had this
00:42:11
whole Instagram post that blew up that
00:42:12
was never meant to be what it ended up
00:42:15
making it I just had these really shitty
00:42:17
thoughts on my head and I wanted to get
00:42:18
them out blow and then it blows up and
00:42:21
seeing
00:42:23
the impact and the response that other
00:42:25
people had like even now everyone asked
00:42:27
me about it and they're like have you
00:42:28
come a long way and I'm like
00:42:31
yes and no I'm still struggling with it
00:42:34
but it's just part of my normal now yeah
00:42:37
yeah let's get into that now so this was
00:42:39
some an Instagram post that you put up
00:42:41
in 2021 is this the side-by-side photo
00:42:43
so there's um there's you looking um
00:42:46
would you would you say maybe a little
00:42:48
bit sick a little bit scary yeah I was
00:42:50
self-diagnosed myself and then on the
00:42:52
right View at your I suppose ideal
00:42:54
weight yeah it was how yeah it was and
00:42:57
during the first lockdown
00:43:00
um a lot of I've always been a big girl
00:43:02
and when I first got on the netball
00:43:04
system uh I saw a nutritionist so see a
00:43:08
nutritionist and a part of that Journey
00:43:10
was that I needed to lose weight and it
00:43:12
was all about the scales and so here's
00:43:15
this 15 year old just being told that
00:43:17
you got to lose weight that was like
00:43:18
quite big for me and each appointment
00:43:20
that I do monthly it was only ever about
00:43:23
how much weight I lost it was about
00:43:24
nothing else and so there would be times
00:43:27
we had to go to these appointments and I
00:43:28
just wouldn't eat the whole day before I
00:43:30
wouldn't drink anything because I was so
00:43:32
nervous about what the impact almost
00:43:34
like a boxer trying to trying to get
00:43:37
ready for a fight yeah
00:43:46
are you all good where are you
00:43:52
having that cholesterol heart attack
00:43:54
right now yeah yeah yeah
00:43:56
um
00:43:57
yeah there's someone else I've had on
00:43:59
the podcast called Zoe McBride who's um
00:44:01
she's a rower and she was the same and
00:44:03
she just because they've like wait sit
00:44:06
on weight grades for the world and it
00:44:08
ended up just like crushing her and she
00:44:09
ended up like pulling out of the
00:44:10
Olympics and letting her partner down
00:44:12
like a couple of months
00:44:13
um before so she not only sacrificed her
00:44:16
own Olympic dreams but um you know
00:44:18
basically cost her her boat mate
00:44:22
um an Olympic thing as well but she just
00:44:23
got so unhealthy and obsessed with the
00:44:24
scales and I think as an athlete
00:44:27
a lot of the times like your body is
00:44:29
your vehicle like that's your job and I
00:44:32
related my weight so much with Fitness
00:44:34
and at the same time fitness targets had
00:44:36
just started coming in so I was like
00:44:38
okay if I'm lighter I'm gonna be able to
00:44:40
run fast or run further it's just going
00:44:42
to be better for me so I've got so
00:44:43
fixated on losing weight as the years
00:44:45
went on during lockdown I was weighing
00:44:48
myself before and after every meal like
00:44:49
it's sometimes 10 times a day you're
00:44:52
joking no so when you so you'd wake up
00:44:54
in the morning and yeah like weigh
00:44:56
yourself first thing first thing
00:44:58
after like after I ate everything after
00:45:01
I went to the bathroom every time like
00:45:03
literally everything I weighed well
00:45:05
what's so um like you look amazing
00:45:07
sitting in front of me now what's your
00:45:09
what's your weight now I wouldn't know
00:45:10
the scales of the devil fantastic I
00:45:13
haven't hopped on the scales for a long
00:45:14
long time and I'm not going to well well
00:45:17
what do you think about in relation to
00:45:19
like where you were and I'm probably
00:45:22
like five to ten kgs right heavier than
00:45:24
what I was does anyone anyone like
00:45:26
nutritionists or any trainers or
00:45:27
anything say anything now no I somehow
00:45:31
feel it somehow I just unintentionally
00:45:33
changed the game because I started being
00:45:37
quite vocal with my issues and then it
00:45:39
meant that people oh it was optional to
00:45:42
weigh and then the scales weren't at
00:45:43
trainings because we used to weigh
00:45:45
before and after every training to see
00:45:47
how much fluid lost okay all right so
00:45:49
this is this is so I was thinking maybe
00:45:51
this is something that's in your mind
00:45:52
like it's a problem it's both no but if
00:45:54
the scale is there a training then it's
00:45:56
not just in your mind it's a thing yeah
00:45:58
it was all about performance so like
00:46:00
yeah every chain and we would wait in
00:46:02
and out or four for to see how much
00:46:05
flood we lost and how much we had to
00:46:06
replace right okay and so apparently
00:46:09
there's all this research now that like
00:46:10
you don't need to use a like you can
00:46:12
just look at your P all that sort of
00:46:14
stuff but for me back then I PL I've
00:46:16
always placed so much a high value on
00:46:18
the scales and the number and oh it was
00:46:21
just really like stuffing with my mind
00:46:24
so in the end when I got I got really
00:46:27
sick with
00:46:29
um
00:46:30
with a well eating disorder with a what
00:46:33
is it relative energy deficiency
00:46:36
yes Sophie McBride had that and um
00:46:40
um who was one of the two raw sisters
00:46:42
Rosa Rosa Flanagan uh she was a runner
00:46:45
on an American scholarship she had the
00:46:46
same thing yeah it's massive and I
00:46:49
didn't know so it there was physically I
00:46:51
could tell because I could see my ribs
00:46:53
like big girl you never see a ribs and
00:46:56
then unless you get a lone star unless
00:46:57
you go to the Lone Star and then I I
00:47:01
lost my period for about four to five
00:47:02
months
00:47:03
um physically I just felt like I was on
00:47:05
fire like I was
00:47:07
I was heading all these yoyo targets
00:47:09
like a PBS and everything and then as
00:47:11
the season started back up I remember I
00:47:13
started getting so like absolutely
00:47:15
buggered after a first quarter I'm like
00:47:17
why am I tired like I've literally only
00:47:19
played one quarter and I'm the fittest
00:47:21
I've ever been and then found out that
00:47:24
it was red
00:47:26
so yeah it's been a long journey even
00:47:27
now even now I still struggle with it
00:47:29
because I am bigger than both of those
00:47:32
photos and even then I don't
00:47:34
aesthetically I don't necessarily like
00:47:37
what I see and the language that I can
00:47:39
use about myself like now like now but I
00:47:42
know in terms of performance I've had
00:47:43
probably the most consistent
00:47:47
um season of my career why don't why
00:47:50
don't you like what you see what do you
00:47:51
mean
00:47:53
because I always are still deep down
00:47:56
feel like I'm too big and don't want to
00:47:59
be the size of the first photo where I'm
00:48:01
absolutely sick but I just feel like oh
00:48:04
if I lost a couple of kgs I'd I'd look
00:48:06
in my head better but I feel like I
00:48:09
could probably lose
00:48:10
any amount of and still not be happy I
00:48:13
wasn't I still wasn't happy when I was
00:48:15
the latest I've ever been
00:48:18
so what's your relationship like with
00:48:19
food now just what anything goes pretty
00:48:22
much yeah I'm way I think that's the
00:48:24
thing that's changed as I used to be
00:48:26
really restrictive
00:48:28
um during lockdown I'd only have one
00:48:30
cheat meal and one dessert and then the
00:48:33
next day I'd feel like crap because I
00:48:35
had a biscuit like and then I'd say no
00:48:37
way to live your life no and then it
00:48:38
just meant that I was doing extra
00:48:39
training on my day off because I felt so
00:48:42
guilty because I'm for eating that one
00:48:44
cookie
00:48:45
oh my God you need to listen to the
00:48:47
episode with Sophie McBride honestly
00:48:50
identical stories yeah and what I've
00:48:52
learned from my journey and people that
00:48:55
can still
00:48:56
stay like I've had
00:48:58
parents I've had like little kids as
00:49:00
young as like seven come up to me
00:49:03
um it's not just it's an issue that
00:49:05
doesn't actually it doesn't discriminate
00:49:07
I've had men come up to me and I have
00:49:09
conversations with men all the time
00:49:10
about it like everyone is struggling
00:49:14
with something I just happen to have a
00:49:16
bit of a profile and talk about it once
00:49:18
and it blows up yeah so why um so that
00:49:21
decision to do that post in 2021 on you
00:49:23
on your Instagram page
00:49:25
um it did blow up in a big way ended up
00:49:28
making um like national news and
00:49:30
um
00:49:31
you you must have realized it would be
00:49:33
naive to think there wasn't a chance
00:49:35
that it was going to happen when you
00:49:36
when you shared it I say this is it's a
00:49:40
bit different now but I even in that
00:49:41
time I don't think I'm anyone different
00:49:42
to Joe blogs next door yeah I play
00:49:45
netball I understand that I play on TV
00:49:47
but apart from being in the netball
00:49:49
courts or in the netball environment I
00:49:51
don't think I'm anyone different so it
00:49:53
is really it happens to me all the time
00:49:55
but it is I'm not uncomfortable but new
00:49:58
when people come and talk to me outside
00:50:00
of those environments or they want to
00:50:02
talk to me and so I guess at that time
00:50:07
I was just I was just a young woman
00:50:09
playing a ball for a living yeah and
00:50:12
I wasn't a superstar I had been in the
00:50:14
furnace but I wasn't necessarily like
00:50:16
your main yes yeah so why would it blow
00:50:20
up very naive yeah you must have um oh
00:50:23
it must have been so um satisfying and
00:50:25
validating when the we're just
00:50:27
refreshing to seeing the comments coming
00:50:28
because all the comments are wonderful
00:50:30
like uh yeah they were awesome Comics I
00:50:33
took it in the fact that I found it
00:50:35
quite overwhelming because at that point
00:50:38
I felt like yeah there was all these
00:50:41
articles and everyone wanted to talk to
00:50:42
me about it and then I had foundations
00:50:44
coming and wanting me to be an
00:50:46
ambassador and that's where I was sort
00:50:47
of just like pharah I'm struggling I
00:50:50
don't know whether I can be an
00:50:51
ambassador when I haven't got through it
00:50:53
like I don't want to be a fraud I don't
00:50:55
want to be a hypocrite
00:50:57
I don't think I can be a spokesperson
00:50:59
right now I can be a spokesperson for my
00:51:01
journey but I don't felt a bit
00:51:03
uncomfortable at that point to be an
00:51:04
ambassador for a whole like a whole
00:51:06
issue
00:51:08
yeah
00:51:10
yeah that's interesting isn't it
00:51:12
yeah it was
00:51:14
lovely but then it made things a little
00:51:16
bit scary at the same time
00:51:18
but if if someone else thinks you're fit
00:51:21
to be an ambassador then like obviously
00:51:23
you are
00:51:25
do you know what I mean as a compliment
00:51:26
taking it as a compliment in a way yeah
00:51:29
yeah I think so like I know it's it's
00:51:32
your journey but they obviously thought
00:51:33
that's that's going to be relatable and
00:51:35
helpful to a whole lot of other people
00:51:36
uh yeah I think
00:51:40
my illness
00:51:42
have control of it whereas now I feel
00:51:44
like I have a bit more control of it and
00:51:46
I'm way more secure in myself that I'd
00:51:49
be like hey actually yeah I'll I'll
00:51:52
happily be an ambassador I've been
00:51:53
talking working with some like
00:51:55
production companies I'm doing eating
00:51:57
disorder series or a little doco and
00:52:00
it's now when they first came to me with
00:52:02
it two years ago I couldn't do it but at
00:52:04
the moment I'm like actually I know my
00:52:07
story
00:52:08
and now I'm okay with
00:52:11
um being an ambassador so why not take
00:52:13
it with two hands yeah you're you're um
00:52:15
during this um time we had this
00:52:17
unhealthy relationship with the scales
00:52:19
and food did you ever
00:52:21
um like I don't know if tries the word
00:52:23
but like try you know to make yourself
00:52:25
throw up or anything like that no it's
00:52:27
believed no yeah no I never never went
00:52:30
that far to be honest yeah
00:52:33
I'd just rather feel guilt and just not
00:52:37
eat
00:52:38
yeah yeah I mean food's never something
00:52:41
you should feel guilty about though I
00:52:44
mean then and now is I'll just eat
00:52:48
whatever and I know now that I train my
00:52:51
ass off every day of the week
00:52:53
I do enough that it's not gonna and
00:52:55
within reason like I ate pretty well in
00:52:58
general anyways yeah of course so of
00:52:59
course you do like it doesn't matter I'm
00:53:01
not as restrictive as I was so so all
00:53:04
this was going on while you while your
00:53:06
mum was getting um yeah
00:53:08
and food Diaries I would document
00:53:10
everything
00:53:11
on my phone
00:53:13
and then yeah in between sorting out
00:53:15
pills and making sure she was eating and
00:53:17
organizing visitors and having to host
00:53:20
people
00:53:21
how did you not crumble at this time so
00:53:23
you lost your dad a couple of years
00:53:24
prior to this yeah it was the lockdown
00:53:26
whichever everyone went through yeah
00:53:28
your mum's sick yeah you're dealing with
00:53:30
this the stress of this and all this
00:53:32
guilt and shame surrounded by phone food
00:53:34
and body weight like how did you how did
00:53:36
you not crumble don't get me wrong I did
00:53:38
crumble by the end of it once everyone
00:53:40
else was okay and we were in a sort of
00:53:42
space where I could then I did so you
00:53:44
just sort of compartmentalized
00:53:46
compartmentalize things until your mum
00:53:48
was better and then you could sort of
00:53:49
breathe yeah and like I wear like
00:53:51
everybody you wear a few hats so I was a
00:53:54
daughter as a sister I was a uh I wasn't
00:53:56
oh I was a captain I was a netball
00:53:58
player I was a partner family member so
00:54:01
it just meant that different hats had to
00:54:03
take a step back so at that point in
00:54:05
time I was a crap partner because I
00:54:07
didn't have time to my partner was in
00:54:09
Wellington like I didn't have time to
00:54:11
communicate I had bigger and better
00:54:13
things that not better but bigger things
00:54:14
that needed my attention so it just
00:54:17
meant that but once I did crumble I
00:54:20
needed those people that I neglected and
00:54:22
so I was lucky enough that they still
00:54:24
came around yeah
00:54:25
so so we're crumbling what did that look
00:54:28
like
00:54:30
um
00:54:33
struggling to sleep yeah
00:54:37
um
00:54:37
like yeah pretty very very emotional
00:54:40
crying all the time
00:54:42
um lack of motivation and training
00:54:45
um just being a right [ __ ] to be
00:54:47
honest to be around like I would have
00:54:50
been the most horrible person like I'd
00:54:51
show up to training but I just wasn't
00:54:52
there and I was probably rude and over
00:54:55
tired and you know a combination of
00:54:57
things probably just wanting avoiding
00:54:59
everybody in anything
00:55:01
um
00:55:02
yeah how's he mental health now are you
00:55:03
in a good space I'm I'm living my best
00:55:06
life
00:55:07
thank God what does that mean I've seen
00:55:09
it on Instagram and it usually involves
00:55:11
um like hammocks hammocks hammocks and a
00:55:14
holiday out coconuts and palm trees I
00:55:17
would love to be sipping on a cocktail
00:55:19
in a hammock somewhere warm right now
00:55:22
um well my teammate nipples going really
00:55:26
well so really happy with that with the
00:55:29
World Cup on the rise hopefully that
00:55:31
comes in
00:55:32
um my personal life I just feel like I'm
00:55:34
really secure and and everything that's
00:55:36
going on there and and my family are
00:55:38
happy so
00:55:39
yeah just just living my best life yeah
00:55:43
you you came over with your um your
00:55:45
partner today he's um sitting in the
00:55:46
room with us hey
00:55:49
um how did you guys meet how did we meet
00:55:51
did you want to talk about him or you
00:55:52
want to save this for women's day wow
00:55:55
well I've been um blindsided a food he's
00:55:58
just it's quite interesting he is the
00:56:00
topic here's the flavor of the month
00:56:01
everyone loves him my whole family love
00:56:04
him
00:56:06
um I was doing this netball interview
00:56:07
with on a netball show and the whole
00:56:10
interview was about him so we um yeah
00:56:15
now I'm turning the podcast around so
00:56:16
the podcast is about him yeah
00:56:19
everything's about him I like to say his
00:56:21
family are in love with me so hopefully
00:56:23
when it's in his world they talk about
00:56:25
me but um how do we meet
00:56:28
um we met he actually slided my DMs on
00:56:31
Instagram he did he did apparently a
00:56:36
couple years ago so DM's like how does
00:56:38
that so your friends on Instagram first
00:56:40
first and foremost does he does he um
00:56:43
Chip Away by liking a few posts or
00:56:44
commenting on posts well
00:56:46
um yeah I've got a um public profile so
00:56:49
he must there's even a bigger how many
00:56:52
followers have you got you got a lot of
00:56:53
followers right ten thousand yeah about
00:56:55
10K so yeah I didn't know who I didn't
00:56:57
know who he was when he first came
00:56:59
around and then I saw this random
00:57:01
profile like keep liking my story photos
00:57:03
I'm like what's this about he's playing
00:57:06
the long game he's playing along he's
00:57:08
playing the long game it's quite funny
00:57:10
we've had this conversation about how
00:57:11
it's had and all the time
00:57:13
um
00:57:14
and then
00:57:16
I was having a great night out
00:57:20
any liked a photo that I put up and I
00:57:23
was like you know what
00:57:25
let's see I followed him back and then a
00:57:28
conversation just started and pretty
00:57:30
much who wrote the first comment he did
00:57:32
yeah can you remember what it was hey up
00:57:35
to no and him I don't think it was that
00:57:38
bad I don't think it was that cheesy but
00:57:40
yeah definitely I'd have to scroll back
00:57:42
to think about it but apparently
00:57:44
apparently I had someone catfished me on
00:57:47
Tinder years ago and apparently we
00:57:49
matched on Tinder a couple of years ago
00:57:50
so that's sort of like how it started
00:57:52
well what do you mean you got how did
00:57:54
you get catfished someone took really
00:57:56
old like photos of me off my Instagram
00:58:00
changed the name so like they were
00:58:02
literally acting like it was Maya I got
00:58:05
sent the screenshot from um from a
00:58:07
friend wow a couple of years ago
00:58:09
and then I don't know how he started
00:58:11
following me again but I think like a
00:58:12
mutual friend I was working with the day
00:58:14
before and then saw him the next day and
00:58:16
they started talking about me sure this
00:58:18
isn't just an elaborate story that you
00:58:19
told your partner at the time when he
00:58:20
found out you're on Tinder
00:58:22
wow what did you like tonight
00:58:27
babe it's not me it's not me it's not
00:58:30
you it's me it's a Liam lonigan um son
00:58:33
of Dean rodigan who's been on the the
00:58:35
podcast yes he is the mystery man that
00:58:38
just just like a bad smell he just never
00:58:41
goes away he's just he's holding my hand
00:58:43
here today yeah make sure I don't stuff
00:58:46
up Emma his dad uh Dean has been on the
00:58:49
podcast and um one of the boxes they uh
00:58:51
they work with um Maya Motu she's been
00:58:53
on the um
00:58:55
Miyamoto she's been on the podcast as
00:58:57
well she is actually she's my woman
00:58:59
crush she is one of the most incredible
00:59:01
people I've ever met in my life and Liam
00:59:04
and I have a little
00:59:06
um I know a little gag because he spends
00:59:08
so much time with him us so I've decided
00:59:11
I'm the mistress now because me is just
00:59:13
the most incredible person in the world
00:59:15
and he gets to spend time with her by
00:59:16
being her promoter yeah the um the
00:59:18
podcast that we did like it's a it's a
00:59:20
good dose of perspective like you've
00:59:22
been through [ __ ] over the last few
00:59:24
years the body image staff your dad
00:59:26
passing away your mum has explained
00:59:27
nothing on her yeah and you can you
00:59:29
compare it to that to her and she's so
00:59:31
bubbly and happy and positive she is
00:59:33
yeah she is one of the most incredible
00:59:35
people I've met I keep claiming that
00:59:38
we're related because we're from the
00:59:39
same place in the hook younger now so
00:59:40
she's going to be my cousin or my auntie
00:59:43
um but yeah it's it's really nice being
00:59:46
um you're someone who works in a
00:59:47
sporting world so gets athletes yeah and
00:59:50
you know played sport all his life and
00:59:52
has been around that so yeah and your
00:59:54
potential future father-in-law have you
00:59:57
had much to do with him my potential
00:59:58
future father-in-law yeah we've been
01:00:00
around the blocks it seems like it's
01:00:02
always a boxing event though so I'm
01:00:04
going into into their field but yeah
01:00:07
it's quite nice
01:00:08
um Liam actually gets phone calls every
01:00:10
morning at 7 30 from his dad to make
01:00:12
sure he's awake so it's nice I can I can
01:00:15
mimic the whole conversation every
01:00:18
morning oh yes every morning so yeah
01:00:20
it's quite it's how long is that like a
01:00:23
40 second vocal 30 seconds pretty much
01:00:25
like hey man just checking your app like
01:00:28
it's something that's like goes on about
01:00:29
that he's getting really annoyed at me
01:00:31
right now that I'm safe
01:00:33
but it's I think it's most beautiful
01:00:35
because like these are two like two men
01:00:38
a father and son relationship they have
01:00:40
it's pretty incredible so
01:00:43
um I think it's quite cute how they are
01:00:45
and to see that the love and the
01:00:47
admiration of each other and that they
01:00:48
work together because I don't think I
01:00:50
could ever work with my family so I've
01:00:52
got so much respect that they can work
01:00:53
together oh yeah no Dean and Liam
01:00:55
lonigan they've got a fantastic working
01:00:56
relationship yeah it's a yeah it's a
01:00:59
good relationship my dad's still alive
01:01:02
and we're not particularly we're not a
01:01:03
particularly close family and uh I see a
01:01:05
relationship like the one I've gotten
01:01:06
it's like oh I kind of wish I now you
01:01:08
get people that say their dad's their
01:01:09
best mate yeah yeah I kind of wish I had
01:01:11
that it literally is them and even was
01:01:13
all like once I came on the scene like
01:01:15
the lonigans and the Edwards slams mum
01:01:18
side of the family like they're all
01:01:19
netball fans now they all come across
01:01:21
like it's quite cute to see that um his
01:01:24
auntie Tracy in particular who's Dean's
01:01:26
sister she I respect her opinion so much
01:01:28
she must get nipples she does get him
01:01:30
who used to play so I would text him
01:01:31
pretty much or call her after every game
01:01:33
to say like what her opinion was on the
01:01:35
game so it's quite um cool to see how
01:01:37
like families have merged in a way yeah
01:01:39
absolutely and has Dean um
01:01:42
um offered your milk
01:01:50
and apparently I've heard that it's
01:01:52
changed so it's like ice half milk half
01:01:55
water because Dean does not drink
01:01:58
yeah it hasn't drank for years or he
01:02:00
ordered that at a restaurant right like
01:02:02
yeah half milk half water it sounds
01:02:04
disgusting what about the last family
01:02:06
thing we were at a at a like a bar
01:02:08
restaurant I don't think I saw him have
01:02:10
milk in his hand but he did have a Coke
01:02:12
huh mixing it up mixing it up Living
01:02:15
Dangerously living loving on the hard
01:02:16
side of life uh it's good so you're
01:02:18
happy it seems like you're in a good
01:02:20
place yeah have you been Have You Been
01:02:21
In Love Before what's your previous
01:02:22
longest relationship seven years seven
01:02:24
years really from when to when
01:02:27
uh 18 to about sort of recently yeah
01:02:31
start of the year what happened there
01:02:33
you just drift apart
01:02:34
oh I think it was a combination of
01:02:37
things like
01:02:38
he was based in Wellington I was based
01:02:40
in Auckland and I would shift my life
01:02:42
every six months to move down I loved it
01:02:45
down there I loved his family and and
01:02:46
I'm really grateful for everything that
01:02:48
I experienced and I learned of him and
01:02:50
them but it just got to a point where
01:02:54
I don't know I felt like
01:02:58
things weren't necessarily 50 50 and
01:03:00
what I would have liked it
01:03:02
um and I he just wasn't my person he was
01:03:06
right for that right moment and in that
01:03:08
moment in time and everything like he
01:03:10
was the person I needed then but just
01:03:13
not the person for me funny you should
01:03:15
say that there's um there's a thing I
01:03:16
saw on um the tech talk or Instagram or
01:03:18
something the quote goes um people come
01:03:20
into your life for a reason a season or
01:03:23
a lifetime yeah yeah so maybe he's a
01:03:25
reason in a season definitely
01:03:30
so close too so
01:03:32
I feel like I didn't want to disrespect
01:03:35
him but
01:03:37
it was ready for me and I felt like it
01:03:39
was right and I'm really really happy
01:03:42
and
01:03:43
and it's yeah that's just how it is did
01:03:46
you break his heart
01:03:48
yeah probably probably
01:03:50
oh breakups are tough I especially when
01:03:53
you when you spend that long with
01:03:54
someone and yeah because it's not not
01:03:56
like you just break up with the person
01:03:57
it's the family as well family was a
01:04:00
massive part of it like is he Maori he
01:04:02
was someone
01:04:04
um I lived in his family household which
01:04:06
was quite big and his sisters were two
01:04:11
of my best mates we would talk one in
01:04:13
particular we would talk multiple
01:04:14
FaceTime multiple times a day
01:04:17
um that was yeah that was definitely one
01:04:19
of the harder parts of Letting Go was
01:04:21
the family but I had to make the
01:04:23
decision that it wasn't
01:04:25
it can't be about the family it has to
01:04:27
be about the relationship and it just
01:04:29
wasn't
01:04:30
it wasn't what I felt like it wasn't in
01:04:33
the direction I felt like I was going in
01:04:36
I feel like this is a lot about your
01:04:37
character because it's a lot of people
01:04:39
would be like oh the relationship's fine
01:04:40
it's not 100 but it's mostly good and
01:04:43
and people a lot of people I think would
01:04:45
probably actually put in myself included
01:04:47
would just like play on through with it
01:04:49
keep with it but you you know that
01:04:52
something's not a hunter you'll well so
01:04:54
to be honest that's that's what I did
01:04:55
for you like if I'm being on if we were
01:04:58
being honest the relationship wasn't
01:05:00
good in in parts yeah and so
01:05:04
um I had actually pretty much said like
01:05:07
either moving to Auckland or like I just
01:05:10
don't want to do long distance I just
01:05:11
don't see that for me and if you don't
01:05:13
want to come that's absolutely fine like
01:05:15
I think it's just best so I actually we
01:05:18
split two weeks before he was moving to
01:05:21
Auckland yeah
01:05:22
um but yeah it's it it's likely needed
01:05:27
to stop yeah earlier um there's
01:05:29
definitely Parts where emotionally I was
01:05:32
checked out for a long time so that's
01:05:33
probably the hardest thing and maybe one
01:05:35
of the reasons why I have been able to
01:05:38
move on so much more is because I've
01:05:40
been emotionally checked out for a long
01:05:42
time
01:05:43
it's good that you can um you can
01:05:45
recognize all the stuff have you have
01:05:46
you had therapy over the years or
01:05:48
anything have you been to a therapist
01:05:49
I've been to I CSI fortnightly have been
01:05:52
for pretty much
01:05:54
like five to seven years yeah like a
01:05:56
science psychologist yeah yeah yeah and
01:05:58
so a lot actually how many years so
01:06:00
since your dad passed was that the sir
01:06:02
Catalyst or well yeah I've been seeing
01:06:04
them on and off with sport because you
01:06:05
see them for sports psychology but
01:06:08
um the one that I've been working with
01:06:09
in particular I've been working for
01:06:10
about four or five years with her and it
01:06:13
depends on the session like sometimes
01:06:14
I'm talking about leadership and netball
01:06:17
or performance and then other stuff I'm
01:06:18
actually talking about relationships and
01:06:21
my family and stuff going on so yeah
01:06:23
these are definitely conversations that
01:06:25
come up in my apartment is it like a
01:06:27
sports psychologist yeah but what's the
01:06:29
difference between a sports psychologist
01:06:30
and like a clinical they're pretty much
01:06:32
the same like a lot of sports sites are
01:06:34
clinical sites they just happen to
01:06:36
specialize in sports so it was sort of
01:06:38
like the best of both worlds for me yeah
01:06:40
you find that how did you find the first
01:06:41
time I feel like women are probably
01:06:42
better at going to a therapy session
01:06:45
than what men are I put it off for years
01:06:47
I only went for the first time like
01:06:48
about five years ago it was a big step
01:06:50
for me and then I I realized I was such
01:06:52
a dick afterwards it was like why didn't
01:06:53
you do that sooner it was the easiest
01:06:55
thing it was actually quite cathartic
01:06:56
when I first started seeing about
01:06:59
um this my current one or five years I
01:07:02
and sometimes even I hate going now
01:07:04
because half the time I walk out crying
01:07:06
or like I and I just hate feeling so
01:07:09
emotionally drained but I know if I'm if
01:07:12
there's emotion in it like it's the
01:07:13
right thing to talk about and so yeah
01:07:15
there's definitely been times where
01:07:16
she'd calls me out on my stuff and I'm
01:07:18
thinking oh I actually thought that was
01:07:21
I was doing the right thing but actually
01:07:23
I'm just trying to do things to validate
01:07:24
my own damn self so yeah I get called
01:07:26
out more she keeps you honest she keeps
01:07:28
me honest she challenges me that it's
01:07:30
not necessarily all about me but am I
01:07:32
trying to avoid stuff because I know and
01:07:34
like final flight mode I will avoid
01:07:37
things if I'm starting to crash and just
01:07:39
not want to talk about it
01:07:41
yeah like just put walls up yeah or just
01:07:45
like ignore like if I have a crap game I
01:07:47
don't if I have a crap game I won't look
01:07:49
at any stats like I won't look it I
01:07:51
won't watch a game because I don't want
01:07:53
to feel like even crappier about myself
01:07:55
flip side if I play a great game
01:07:57
sometimes I read those bloody keyboard
01:07:59
Warrior comments because they're gassing
01:08:01
me up but like that's such a difference
01:08:03
is that I'll start reading this up
01:08:04
because I want to be gassed up and then
01:08:06
when I play like crap like I avoid it
01:08:09
like the plague yeah well I mean yeah
01:08:11
that's the thing I suppose if you're
01:08:13
going to take the good the positive
01:08:14
you've got to take the negative as well
01:08:15
the best thing is to try and you know
01:08:18
not get not get too up up yourself but
01:08:20
not get too down on yourself either find
01:08:21
that balance right and I wouldn't say
01:08:23
like I like to think I'm not an arrogant
01:08:25
person so I am confident in myself but
01:08:27
yeah sometimes I'm just like I like to
01:08:30
think I'll do things with Mana and
01:08:33
dignity and dignity even like the whole
01:08:36
breakup I really try to make things like
01:08:38
make sure the other person was okay
01:08:41
just because I don't want like I would
01:08:43
hate to just be that person that just
01:08:45
ups and goes and is just an [ __ ] yeah
01:08:47
I'm gonna do this with kindness and it's
01:08:49
not hard to be kind how's your how's
01:08:51
your relationship now any contact or no
01:08:53
no no contact maybe it'll happen in time
01:08:56
like seven years that's a long time
01:08:59
um and is it just easier for him at the
01:09:01
moment not to have any contact or yeah I
01:09:03
think the biggest part for him has been
01:09:05
that I've moved on yeah so
01:09:08
I yeah I reckon it's gonna take a while
01:09:11
and and you know what if he doesn't want
01:09:13
like if he doesn't want to talk that's
01:09:14
absolutely fine
01:09:15
um I think it's been really hard for the
01:09:17
family like you go we go talking
01:09:19
multiple times a day being in family
01:09:20
chats and all that sort of stuff so for
01:09:22
me to sort of just
01:09:23
actually because we had split up on and
01:09:27
off before but it was the first time I
01:09:29
was like not like I'm actually gone so
01:09:32
yeah I think they're all still really
01:09:35
hurting and I know that they'll see I'll
01:09:38
be on the news or nipple will come
01:09:40
across and they have to change a channel
01:09:42
because it's just too hard for them
01:09:43
really to see me and and that's hard you
01:09:47
don't want them you don't want anyone
01:09:48
hurting like that
01:09:50
when they find out your current
01:09:52
boyfriend is a um a wannabe New Zealand
01:09:55
comedian with very low income prospects
01:10:02
I mean there's no die in what is he well
01:10:05
I'm so
01:10:06
I'm trying to figure out who's the real
01:10:08
comedian in this relationship because I
01:10:10
don't know whether it's him yeah what
01:10:12
was it that um that made you guys fall
01:10:14
for each other
01:10:16
we've pretty much been Inseparable since
01:10:18
we're me really yeah yeah
01:10:20
um isn't it funny how you can just deal
01:10:21
with someone and not really not in you
01:10:23
know what they choose to put on social
01:10:24
media but then you meet them and you
01:10:26
just click I reckon we've done like the
01:10:29
goods beds and the Uglies like pretty
01:10:32
much from day one
01:10:33
look we were both quite open with how
01:10:37
things were and at that time too I was
01:10:40
going through like my ex partner had my
01:10:42
car so like there were things that I
01:10:44
remember feeling quite man I've got this
01:10:46
new guy who I actually really enjoy
01:10:49
spending time with I feel like this
01:10:50
could go somewhere how do I tell him
01:10:53
that
01:10:54
I'm having to organize like a car and
01:10:57
being stuck in the middle
01:10:59
and so I was really grateful for how he
01:11:02
treated that situation because it was
01:11:03
with a lot of Grace and being like it's
01:11:05
only short term yeah it's a long-term
01:11:07
game oh man I can't imagine the um
01:11:10
how difficult to make conversation is
01:11:12
and how guilty you felt not that you
01:11:13
should but you just you just you feel
01:11:15
like a bad person no both ways like I
01:11:17
just felt like I was having these hard
01:11:20
conversations with someone who'd been in
01:11:22
my life for seven years and wanting to
01:11:24
treat that with so much kindness at the
01:11:27
same time having to tell that whole
01:11:29
pretty much a lot of that conversation
01:11:30
to this new person that I've just met
01:11:32
and I don't want him to freaking like I
01:11:34
don't want that to scare him off with
01:11:35
all your baggage literally I've just
01:11:38
like everyone speaks in and hears us
01:11:40
begging him like holy heck are like what
01:11:42
other Bankers do you have so yeah I
01:11:45
don't know Jokes Aside you're like
01:11:46
you're you're a current partner um he's
01:11:48
a good reasonable guy and he understands
01:11:50
that everyone's got to pass and
01:11:51
everyone's got baggage well yeah don't
01:11:53
worry he's got he's got his own baggage
01:11:56
that's for sure but it's quite
01:11:58
interesting because now he's playing
01:11:59
like my manager like he's like I'm Gonna
01:12:01
Get You On Dom's podcast I was like yeah
01:12:03
like if Dom needs someone I'm happy to
01:12:05
go on I don't know if I've got much to
01:12:06
talk about he's like I'm getting you on
01:12:07
the podcast I was like okay he's he's
01:12:09
telling me what to do which for someone
01:12:11
who likes control has been like I've
01:12:13
been quite difficult with it in times
01:12:16
but I've been quite open like he's very
01:12:18
career driven and he's there's times
01:12:21
where I follow him out to his house and
01:12:22
my car and he's like the whole whole car
01:12:24
out of and thinking about your career
01:12:25
and how I can help you and
01:12:27
oh how good all that sort of and I'm not
01:12:29
used to that I'm definitely not used to
01:12:31
it we are very very different like Polar
01:12:33
Opposites in so many ways we challenge
01:12:35
each other all the time but I think
01:12:36
that's probably like the best part of
01:12:37
our relationship is that we Challenge
01:12:39
and we like our superpowers our
01:12:41
communication
01:12:43
well that's and that's an awesome
01:12:44
superpower to have
01:12:47
um now that you've been on my podcast
01:12:47
you can break up with them
01:12:51
he's gone yeah and um you guys farted in
01:12:56
front of each other
01:12:58
he has all the time but I would say I
01:13:02
like fartings uh how do I put this you
01:13:05
get Awards in my family not about the
01:13:08
noise but about the smell and for some
01:13:10
reason since he's come into my life I
01:13:13
was a gaseous like honestly I took pride
01:13:16
in there and I just haven't been able to
01:13:17
so it's something about him that's
01:13:19
putting me off putting my body off
01:13:20
because I actually want to do it to
01:13:22
clear a room I'm really good at clearing
01:13:23
rooms so I want to do it for him to see
01:13:25
so he knows what he's coming up for I
01:13:28
just haven't been able to so
01:13:30
disappointed it's a turning point of the
01:13:31
relationship I reckon when that happens
01:13:33
yeah well we've got to the stage we're
01:13:35
like he'll be in the shower and I'll be
01:13:37
like sitting on the toilet so we've got
01:13:38
that far it's funny how relationships
01:13:41
take their own sort of Life on my like
01:13:43
my previous girlfriend like should go to
01:13:45
the toilet with the door open and should
01:13:46
fart in front of me my current
01:13:47
girlfriend she'll have a shower and
01:13:48
she'll lock the door and you know she's
01:13:50
like very very you know it's just
01:13:52
interesting how you have different
01:13:54
relationships and different Dynamics
01:13:55
with different people yeah I think what
01:13:57
realize like
01:13:59
oh well you've seen the best the words
01:14:00
like you've heard it all been there done
01:14:03
that there's stuff he knows about me
01:14:05
that like not many people know vice
01:14:08
versa so like oh well if you want to run
01:14:11
you would have run before I got nothing
01:14:13
else to hide that's but it's nice though
01:14:14
if you can be like that completely like
01:14:17
open and vulnerable with someone yeah
01:14:18
and we're so and the thing is we're
01:14:20
still very like we're still early on
01:14:21
we've only been seeing each other for a
01:14:23
couple months and so
01:14:24
it's been really nice that it's been so
01:14:27
easy and
01:14:29
I don't normally talk about my personal
01:14:31
life so like for me to even say that
01:14:33
here and he's in the room like it just
01:14:34
shows how much confidence that I have
01:14:36
and what we have have you said I love
01:14:38
you to each other
01:14:39
he's he told me he loved me before we
01:14:42
actually became on Instagram actual no
01:14:46
not on in real life before he actually
01:14:48
came a couple like an official couple
01:14:50
really what did you say there's only one
01:14:52
there's only one acceptable answer when
01:14:54
someone says I love you
01:14:57
so that what I said Thank
01:15:00
you
01:15:01
I feel like you're not gonna say it if
01:15:03
you don't mean it no because I was sort
01:15:06
of in the space Oh I think you made me
01:15:08
look like an [ __ ]
01:15:10
you put me in the space where I was like
01:15:13
you're gonna tell me you love me before
01:15:14
you ask me out like
01:15:16
and I remember when he asked me out I
01:15:18
was like you'll do better than that and
01:15:19
then it
01:15:20
and it still happened like that I was
01:15:22
just like oh well like it is what it is
01:15:24
so but you so you have said it though
01:15:26
since then oh yeah yeah yeah he gets
01:15:28
sick of how much we say it to each other
01:15:29
so oh that's nice his mother tells me
01:15:33
she loves me pretty much every time I
01:15:34
see her too so I think I've told him
01:15:36
actually I really love his family I told
01:15:38
him I'm leaving him for his papa his
01:15:39
papa is the most incredible man I've
01:15:41
ever met oh not his dad his granddad no
01:15:44
his granddad they all did on waiheke no
01:15:47
no no no no on his mum's side so his his
01:15:51
Grand is like 92 93 like works every day
01:15:55
on their Farm like is hilarious it's way
01:15:58
funnier than his grandson like just the
01:16:00
whole part of it I told him I'm leaving
01:16:02
him for his granddad
01:16:04
that's so nice hey it's been great
01:16:06
meeting you today yeah I haven't um I
01:16:09
mean all I know you're from is seeing
01:16:11
you on TV on netball playing netball and
01:16:13
uh the stuff that you've shared on
01:16:14
social media but the um the Maya Wilson
01:16:16
that's sitting in front of me today it
01:16:17
seems like you're in a really good space
01:16:18
mentally physically everything yeah
01:16:20
you're happy this is that I think the
01:16:22
happiest you've been in a long time yeah
01:16:24
and a lot of I'm sick of making it about
01:16:26
him but a lot of it's to do with the
01:16:28
following the room so like it makes it
01:16:30
happier when you're just in a great
01:16:32
space yeah but don't I mean I don't want
01:16:34
to take anything away from him but
01:16:35
you've got to give yourself some credit
01:16:36
as well because it seems like you've
01:16:37
you've been through a lot and you've
01:16:39
done done a lot of hard work yeah and I
01:16:41
think it's because I know like I'm
01:16:42
actually a really good person I'm very
01:16:43
black and white like I either love you
01:16:45
or I hate you but you'll know where you
01:16:46
stand but it in general like everything
01:16:49
comes from Love and from care and it's
01:16:52
about everyone else rather than myself I
01:16:54
will drag myself through the dirt for
01:16:56
other people before I actually do
01:16:58
something for myself yeah what's your
01:17:00
mental voice like are you you mostly
01:17:02
quite kind to yourself
01:17:05
um
01:17:06
you're quite hard on yourself what do
01:17:08
you reckon honestly inner voice is quite
01:17:10
is a massive critic but I'm way more
01:17:13
vocal now about actually I'm I'm a good
01:17:16
[ __ ] like
01:17:18
butcher's probably the change in the
01:17:20
security that I feel about myself yeah
01:17:22
remember the most secure and secure
01:17:24
person you'll ever meet yeah now I
01:17:26
understand what it means yeah yeah how
01:17:29
did you get there I I battle with this a
01:17:31
lot like I'm I'm so hard I speak to
01:17:33
myself in ways that I would not accept
01:17:35
anyone else speaking to me
01:17:37
um how did you turn that around
01:17:39
work you've done or what a lot of it's
01:17:41
the work yeah
01:17:43
[Music]
01:17:44
a lot of it has been in reflection of
01:17:47
this last breakup and knowing that I
01:17:50
always knew I was all good on my own but
01:17:52
I'm actually all good on my own and
01:17:55
um I actually quite enjoy my own company
01:17:59
I care deeply for all the people in my
01:18:02
life
01:18:03
that's a lot to be proud of and the
01:18:07
netballs just the netball has nothing to
01:18:09
do with the person that I am and what I
01:18:12
give to other people and the more that I
01:18:14
verbalize that like I communicate that
01:18:16
all the time now when I have bad
01:18:18
thoughts I'm very open with my partner
01:18:21
being like this is going on right now
01:18:23
for me and I actually might not need you
01:18:26
to do anything but I just need to say it
01:18:28
so that it just gets it out of there and
01:18:29
I'm not continuing to dig a hole and
01:18:31
build stories internalize stories in my
01:18:33
head
01:18:34
nice and um professionally the second
01:18:38
half of your second half I guess after
01:18:39
your netball career like what are the
01:18:41
what are the goals what are the dreams
01:18:43
uh so we have World Cup selection coming
01:18:45
up in June for a July World Cup so I'd
01:18:49
love I've never been to a World Cup I've
01:18:50
always been a non-traveling reserve so
01:18:52
I'd love to get into the 12 for that
01:18:55
um just yeah I want to start developing
01:18:59
my comms background doing a bit of
01:19:02
broadcasting and whatever that means or
01:19:06
marketing and just yeah preparing for
01:19:09
the transition of post netball because I
01:19:10
feel like I've got the contacts and got
01:19:12
the networks I just need to start
01:19:13
getting out there and yeah developing
01:19:15
that side of things yeah and you're a
01:19:17
great speaker and you've got a great
01:19:18
story so I'm sure whatever you I mean
01:19:20
listen whatever you put your mind to I'm
01:19:21
sure you'll be able to do it very well
01:19:22
even if it did take you six years to get
01:19:24
a comms degree yeah there we go yeah
01:19:26
exactly there we go hey it was free
01:19:28
though not many people can say that
01:19:30
I'm having you had a lot going on yet
01:19:32
nipple going on stuff with your dad all
01:19:35
right hey Maya Wilson thanks so much for
01:19:37
coming over and being on the podcast
01:19:37
it's been an absolute pleasure oh it's
01:19:40
been my pleasure to be here thank you
01:19:41
for having me
01:19:45
[Music]
01:19:56
foreign
01:19:58
[Music]
