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[Music] and we will keep our listeners and
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viewers informed of world EV yeah of world events the two dumbest people I
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will actually bring out my Tom broa if I have to and today the Middle East is on
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fire missiles are flying everywhere and I'm Tom broka the world is so stressful
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that I've decided to have a six-pack of Miller before I came on
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air when I get my housekeeping on the road okay bye um when I this story is
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boring I'm already walking people so housekeeping because they want to see in my room I've told you so I put the do
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not disturb you might do this way you just don't want them in there time refolding all my stuff I don't know what's dirty clean they're just trying
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they're trying to help but it's yeah disaster so sometimes s they they knock
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and I go I open up and they go did you knock and I go did I knock to the
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hallway no and they go oh well while I'm here and they try to look past me and see what a mess it's going to be I I
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talk to I find her every day she's very nice we make a plan I don't I said I'm
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you did it yesterday so I don't need it today um fresh towels no actually I
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didn't explain this to her but I'm clean I'm as clean as I am throughout the day when I apply the towel and then I hang
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it up so the idea that 24 hours later I need a fresh towel man so anyway she we
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we're in sync with that now she's pretty she's pretty chill I saw someone yelling
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and she was going a like I was walk just walking I sometimes get my steps in the hallway cuz it's so these hotels are so
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long mhm but there's always commotion so she's in there yelling at another guy working there and she's kind of like a
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little too high like I I don't know what language is screaming I got and then I go and then I go oh no she's going to
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see me I feel weird like I'm interrupting and she clocks me and keeps screaming doesn't go down one octave
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just I'm like I'm a customer you don't you think you'd be like uh oh you know I'll we'll talk about this later she's
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just telling about his day or something about her day but uh she still I couldn't believe it then I walked down I
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came back and she's still yelling at the guy and I'm like nothing I mean I'm not here to rat anyone out but one octave D
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where are you stained Dan's Motel 9 off yeah some ratty asses it's probably some Sting
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operation going on there I don't know okay I did something radical yesterday because you sit a lot you know you're in
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in New York and you're sitting around a lot it's like I just gotta get you know
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and uh I'm I'm way up I'm more than you know I'm way more than 20 more than 25
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more than so I just asked the guys oh way up in your hotel yeah way up in the sky so I just wanted to ask can I take
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the stairwell up I didn't know maybe Firehouse but yeah I goes they'll let you in so downstairs there's two guys
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you know go I come come back from the gym I'm going to do the stairs not take the elevator they go you sure about this
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Mr cofi this was his other type of New York guys hey you know all the way to 30
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I don't know man that's pretty far so can I do it and get it into my floor you
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can do it but I wouldn't advise it you know so yeah I couldn't do it I mean my
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wife says to me I can't even get off the otoman you're going up in the sky the ottoman you know yeah okay and
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it's a it's it's a stairwell and it's got stuff so anyway I was pretty buzzed for a while from that effort you ever go
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up and then you're locked in you can't get in this that was my fear that's why I
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I did that at the Beverly Center I couldn't get out and I couldn't I didn't know where I was I didn't know how to tell anyone it was terrifying it was
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like a Saw movie it was all like dark and weird and like um paint splotches in
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the ground has you think our you think our listeners Andor Watchers have ever had that experience and it happens to me
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maybe once a year you're in a big parking garage you don't take a pick you don't think you got all be out all
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remember and you come out and you're completely turned around for like an hour you're going where the [ __ ] is it
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you know so that's scary too I'll say my dorm in New York now that we're telling
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stupid stories so my dormant I saw him every day hey Kenny how are you okay boss um this is during SNL and he goes
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hey how's it going you look pretty beat up lately not a compliment but sure I know what he means that's that's sweet
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what you sleep on your face again I'm like out of concern and this is you at 27 yeah I'm like 27 look like a pound
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puppy and then he goes uh I go I'm just so beat up these days oh what's going on
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you can tell me I go ah you wouldn't who cares it's all just it's all good it's just tricky and he's like no no tell me
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but you're so I I worry I go well we're doing um that Tommy Boy movie in Canada
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and then on the off days I have to fly back to do must be rough yeah that's oh
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I didn't really finish my sentence he goes oh that's funny because I stand here watching a two-inch TV watching
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chipsy runs and I piss in a [ __ ] jar but hey keep going so what happened with the movie star the thing what was going
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on I go I know that is why whenever we get into discussions about hotels or
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flying first class and the the amazing things that uh happened to us for
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probably 99% luck as I always say first world problems what can we tell you we're just telling you what our life's
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like but yeah we got to have some stories yeah but I won't have to those stairs I could have been anybody
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anywhere nobody else takes the stairs yeah you're [ __ ] hero yeah and they have a computerized um three elevators
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and you pick your floor and then it tells you what elevator is coming down so there's no like 12 people I don't
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like that it's I like when you get in and then they go I'm like at the Beverly Center again mentioned again you go I
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want to go to I'm there 24 hours a day you are a shopper man I really just go
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there I people watch I get material I don't have one joke about it but anyway I go
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there and you go I want to go to the seventh floor shopping and it goes Bing
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elevator e and then there's no buttons that's scary you just sitting there and then it went to the wrong floor and I go
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then it closed and just sat there and I go well there's no buttons I don't even know how to get things moving well I
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didn't have your silver spoon childhood so I literally when I when I come into
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room and there's a shower curtain and I go and I sweep it across I go great no dead body that's like a win that's a
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plus same thing with the elevator opening no recent stabbing so my my standards are low but things that open
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no recent stabbing yeah no active stabbings oops interrupt by the way so
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anyway I'm in New let get to main story talk about goddamn SNL let's get the cat
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out of the proverbial bag SNL I had to keep this secret for
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[Music]
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weeks first week what happened walk us through it um got out there I was went
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down the stairway hey boss you're going down now too that going to hook you hey Lauren I walk the stairs I want to read
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through right well Lauren Michaels our Superstar boss asked
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me in early June would you consider coming out and doing Biden you know six
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shows and then you can tell us to [ __ ] off so I thought well that's nice and
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tidy I guess I'll I said yes and then there was that uh let's just call it
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eccentric debate with Trump and then that other thing happened with Biden and then Lauren was like a dog with a bone
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he's still like you know come out maybe you you'll appeared as a ghost or something he just wanted me to come out
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anyway so so then I came out and I got in the hotel and when you go into that building as you know and you haven't
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been in a while it's exactly as I always say like going back to your high school on Sunday afternoon and looking inside
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the gym and stuff so your heart starts beating a little bit even if you're not on but you were going to be on but I
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visited once and I was like it's just it's just the same way it used to be well there's four guests there's Maya
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Rudolph you heard of her she's pretty PR good Jim Gaffigan who'd never hosted or
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been in the building oh hadn't hosted so we have different rules because Ma's
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doing a show and everything and they're flying in later so I didn't really go to the MonDay meeting you I didn't want to
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be next to Jean SM who was amazing as the host and go hey hi Jean Smart now let me talk about what I'm going to do
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in the show you know so I didn't have to maybe I can get on your shoulders during the monologue and be in that too yeah I
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could dress up yeah I could dress you like a puppet and I'm the Puppeteer or I could dress like a puppet and you can be
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the Puppeteer um Jean do you have any ideas so then Monday and Tuesday I'm Just Landing I'm just like this is the
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Hotel this is where I go where do I get food you know acclimating you got it that's the word that's that's Arizona
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State just getting my bearings that's Scottdale Community College coming right
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at you that's an almost an AA degree piling up you land you get the time
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changes hitting you there's a lot to adjust so I had this um this take on
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Biden that I developed on this show um and so those clips we did that
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was sort of being fanciful about Biden you know with all the different Hooks and so YouTube clips helped out for the
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rescue I wanted to just meet with the the writers and so they said fine so I
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went in on Tuesday for about half hour and just ran him through the Biden hooks the Biden walk Can't Believe It's Not
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Butter all the stuff they took notes they're really nice and I didn't know what was what their take would be on it
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but the next day they pretty much put all you know that we collaborated the rest of the week and they were just cool
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they let me really do the Biden I wanted to do so basically they have a bigger picture of incorporating Maya gaffi and
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everybody Andy s and then you you're a piece but you say hey I'm not sure what I'm doing in the big picture of the
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sketch but here's the funny things Biden does let's include them to get the most out of this because this has worked on
00:11:01
the podcast these are things that over time you've been refining and they saw
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um looked at some of our YouTube clips and stuff yeah from flying the wall when I say you I whatever so then they were
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great um Streeter is sort of the headwriter that's his first name really
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nice guy and uh a good name and then they did little adjustments so then we have the readr on Wednesday and we
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didn't really include it in the script because I don't know if I even told him the thing that became a catchphrase and
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guess what and by the way the fact of the matter is so I had lived at it read
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through I just threw it in a couple times because it was in flow and it got a big laugh there and the cast members
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the current cast members are all adorable people they're young and everything they're like I didn't know you could ad Li and read
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through you're really not supposed to but I get it you get you get a little Grace there so um it works that got in
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and became a thing and then then you you know the the CL that's the read through
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we they do it in 8 now for people don't know it used to be in a small office really because of the pandemic then they
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thought it's better there and it used to be a really casual this is a much bigger
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table and you have a little card that says your name almost like you're at an Oscar party and there's ordes a white
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tablecloth there's um soundtrack music that will be pumped in Andor you know um
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Dan Bull on the piano so it's it's the the sketches are scored in real time oh
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there's more going on and they read 20 and then take a break we were in the first half so I just did that and then
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got some rest and then you you meet with I want to get the names Jody manuso and
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Louie sakaran she she's sort of hair he's makeup get this he put you you'll
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appreciate this he put a bald bald cap on once always took an hour when I did
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it at least in four and a half minutes on Mikey day during a long commercial break shut the [ __ ] explain to the
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audience why that's so I mean oh my God we used to have to do bits after week can update because you needed the
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musical guest update and the commercials to get enough time maybe to get to a
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sketch after update or you would do it right after dress or during dress so you
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keep it on put wigs over it so you never had to take it off but man what Bal cap
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comes into a bit and it changes everything you're like okay how are we going to do this so for you to get it
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done that fast with that great team over mine was 12 to 15 they took their time with three or four people but new but
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they did four and a halfs their record but it's just 15 they don't even use latex anyway it's all this technical
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stuff you didn't have to get in the giant gooey mask the rubber mask where they take a yeah an imprint in your
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skull so they can measure the wig they just do this wanding computer thing um
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there it is there's my friend John Corbett from SE is that Corbett from Sex in the City he was what's he doing there
00:14:06
he a satday Night Live freak so he just happened to be in town visiting Sex in the City and we're friends now so oh oh
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my God so I said to him just don't they he could have got a seat but just hang out so he walked around he was next to
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some incredibly famous people Steven Spielberg JJ Abrams anyway and then he
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took someone took that picture there I am you look like a littleit like John McCain
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there a little bit right not a little bit that
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is that is John MC and the thing that was so clever and they went next level with James Austin Johnson Johnson about
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Trump they put a bald cap on him because Trump is thinning in the back a little bit so they put a bald cap on me and I
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think we have that picture don't we the bald cap did they change did they they changed maybe not Jason J's uh Trump wig
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because its newer look um yeah they're trying to sort of
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update Trump a little bit they they gave him a fat suit you know um oh they did
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does he always have a f not always no some padding but it was a bigger a bigger um kind of whoop-de-do here
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I did I did I didn't send any other pictures okay I'll I'll do these to
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great yeah you [ __ ] us it's being on being on you [ __ ] me man yeah save it
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for Twitter guy who cares about Twitter being on no well anyway it was I have a
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question uh you know Trump J doing Trump I didn't love it right away behind the
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bulletproof glass it's a funny joke but it looked little blurry you know right I wanted to get really into it and see him
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better mhm but I like the joke and then they finally pulled it away thank God
00:16:01
right um right right Dana is going through his 2,000 pictures of himself
00:16:07
well I'll tell you what when you're on that show and you haven't been on it in a while it's like your birthday the
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amount of uh if you know what I mean okay I just sent our we never had cameras back then so you get to set you
00:16:20
get to have pictures and it's how fun yeah we never took one goddamn picture I know no pictures we had nothing our D we
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didn't oh hard lines but it's remarkably the same talking to the young cast
00:16:34
members uh Heidi Gardner and Mikey day came out for the good nights and Wayne's World t-shirts there we are that that's
00:16:42
a great one there's a picture I had of Biden where he made that face so I did it so that's and
00:16:48
Gaffin was kind of U my Protegé because he wanted to just know about the ropes
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and he he they let him help with the writing he got the look perfect and he
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got this take of a big Labrador retri energy big happy guy and he and he
00:17:05
crushed it it's more fun to play energy because it's you know cuz Waltz could be
00:17:10
it could be a little flat if he didn't have some some to jump on some hook yeah I mean it was Biden Biden away the thing
00:17:17
that really helped me months ago on this podcast was just go loud sometimes I got
00:17:22
more bills pass anyone's ever passed because if you're just down here the whole time then it just doesn't have the Dynamics so that saved it also you
00:17:29
sniffed her hair at the end I thought that was good well I just threw that in for the Dre oh there it is see so look
00:17:35
how brilliant that is cuz I actually have hair back there so that is just looks totally real I don't think anyone
00:17:42
ever saw it but well you at least walked by and walk back so if you saw it you saw it
00:17:48
but it just all looked they just do such a good job they're Fanatics uh Louie and and the they must spend some effing
00:17:55
money on this [ __ ] but they these people get mentioned a lot from all our cast that comes on because yes they're
00:18:00
they're so good and just get better how fun it's not as rough on your neck either when they're yanking your hair
00:18:06
and there's usually they pins in your hair too they do something with with pins that stick but and Jenna the woman
00:18:13
who goes cast three minutes get to the set C you know she they in a they go
00:18:19
they go like this cast for Gap girls David Adam Charles Barkley Chris so fun
00:18:27
you have two 30 seconds please two minutes and I did your line I said does anyone ever he anytime say plac is
00:18:35
everybody oh yeah and then I and then I gave you credit is that that's your
00:18:40
thing I think it was either it was someone else but then Farley would say it uh on the movie when we were just
00:18:47
there was no rush they go all right let's set up for the scene he goes place is everyone well I didn't know um the
00:18:56
our new stage manager is doing the countdown 30 seconds and you're
00:19:01
backstage in the slats it's dark the whole audience packed 15 seconds 10
00:19:08
seconds you it's like a little and then he hits the 5 Second and he says 5
00:19:13
Second like five seconds screams it the crowd goes crazy you're like oh god oh
00:19:19
they get a laugh that was Joe dixo maybe right but I just did this sniffing thing I didn't want to do it in any weirder me
00:19:27
way I made it more comical where he just sticks to it I'm glad you got it in because there was it was something at
00:19:32
the end you know was like one more little thing uh and how was so read
00:19:38
through first of all I'm shocked it's not I always picture it on 17 in that jam packed Lauren going can we open one
00:19:44
window and then CU and then it's freezing outside but now it's you've got some air they probably have it catered
00:19:51
we had no food yes it's nice and cool plate of cookies there's cookies and things it's very very nice uh it is it's
00:19:59
it's a big room so this week um here we are Tuesday uh tonight is the debate
00:20:08
between Jim Gaffigan and Maya Rudolph I.E wals and um JD van sorry no um in um
00:20:16
B bang boyang as no not Andy Samberg boyang boyang uh pardon me excuse me
00:20:22
pardon me Bo Yang so boow and yang and um Jim Gaffin will be debating this week as their per and and then we'll I don't
00:20:29
know what I'll do at this point I'm open to suggestions you're there and you're Tech
00:20:36
Avail technically available show his I'm here I'm not the kind of person like you
00:20:42
do sometimes would fly back on Monday and then fly back on Thursday across yeah I don't do that you
00:20:50
do well you do you're in the sky well when I did the show and we had weeks off if Adam went to New Hampshire and rock
00:20:57
went to Brooklyn and Farley went to Wisconsin I would fly home because I didn't really
00:21:02
know that many people my brother and Katie were there but sometimes they were
00:21:07
busy and I'd say I've got a full like full chunk of time here so it was kind of a boring waste of time but it wasn't
00:21:14
that bad you like if I'm going to spend five hours sitting in my apartment I might as well just fly home and I was young and tough then not I mean I was
00:21:21
obviously athletic now um now what about some of the other sketches like when
00:21:27
when boow and yang did the was his name mood Dang or whatever and he's spraying with water and it got on Colin's hair
00:21:34
you know Colin had to be mad I would have been Furious well they did it you know this is just show business inside
00:21:39
stuff they did it at the dress show of course with the water and everything and then at one point you know it's kind of
00:21:46
the nice thing about the practice show I think there was a mistake he just says water water and it wasn't coming you
00:21:52
know was h h h and then waiting waiting waiting and then blast him you know and
00:21:58
right right it's almost funnier oh yeah definitely and then you once they they just go for it and then Colin gets
00:22:05
soaked it I mean well online show if it's something like that you want it to be big and stupid and sort of [ __ ] up on
00:22:11
purp it just it just was was just fun I mean you love a guy getting Splash with water this goes back to Vaudeville I
00:22:17
mean it was a very clever thing uh you know I told Bowen yeah that thing you
00:22:23
know crushed everything killed we had throw up on one sketch where the throw
00:22:28
up goes down your arm and it goes here and we're supposed to throw up a lot and it's coming out and we're sitting there
00:22:35
yeah and everyone's like it's not enough then it's too then it goes in your face and those those kind of sketches are
00:22:40
funny because every time you do it you don't know and the guys back there the union guy going squeak squeak squeak too much back it off but it's never like the
00:22:47
timing they're not comedians so like go and he's like okay that's when I walk over and I go turn it on and then it
00:22:53
comes down the ho so it's not timed out perfectly for the joke and that that's fantastic because the audience knows
00:22:59
that the the comedian the actor doesn't know so we're all in on it and that's when you can legitimately break if it's
00:23:07
like yeah you know go comes out way too hard um who else okay so that was fun to
00:23:13
watch the cold opening was it longer at dress yes it was a 2hour dress and he
00:23:20
cut one sketch oh oh they cut one and it was a cold opening longer cuz it had a
00:23:25
lot there's a lot going on in that cold opening cold so those are tough trims 15
00:23:31
I lost oh 15 minutes well then I don't know what the air was but I know that everybody uh was cut trimmed every
00:23:38
single part of when probably something got lost everybody you know good job on them across the board that's a tough
00:23:45
thing to land and they got two sets trumps rally over there and they have all the extras all the makeup everyone
00:23:51
has to go in do their thing come out so it was a it was a behemoth half of half of the people are secret and then and
00:23:58
you uh I was surprised people figured out it was you that fast I don't know if maybe the dress show on the way out goes
00:24:05
guess what you know I don't know but with Andy Samberg he was kind of in profile looking down and then when he
00:24:10
came up then they go oh Andy and they went crazy you know so funny they're they're rifling through 500 cast members
00:24:17
going who's it going to be and they got to go like AI oh got it that's yeah it's
00:24:22
probably him oh it's it's Dan flaro doing Joey Biden and it was uh it was a
00:24:29
different take Biden when she says Jaiden does she is that something that
00:24:34
Cala says or she just makes that up I think it was just you know uh character
00:24:41
character license they're they're creating a character out of Kamala with
00:24:46
with Maya you know taking she dances she's singing But the laugh and she um
00:24:52
she just is embodying she's embodying yeah yeah uh Kamala you know everyone
00:24:58
loves everyone loves pretty much whatever Maya does uh she has lot lot of fun a lot of Charisma it's fun being out
00:25:04
there with her you know just really fun and so you do you sit and watch the sketches do you grab an Amel light where
00:25:11
do you go after you after the cold open uh you know you sort of you're said well you go back and get the stuff off so
00:25:17
then it's all about getting the thing off my head get it off break down get it off meanwhile and they're so busy still
00:25:25
doing the show you're trying to grab someone going can you pull this thing off yeah yeah there was someone who was
00:25:30
actually in charge of uh cocacola and they came in and ripped it off um but no
00:25:36
they so they had people that were kind of in a a holding pattern or whatever so you get out of everything and then what
00:25:41
am I going to do with my hair because I have to go to this new New York party I just F oh yeah the after party let's
00:25:47
let's break that down um well first of all you know so I did all that and then I was watching on television and I go
00:25:54
out a little bit watch on television it's just you're kind of um you're going through your head what did you land
00:26:00
right what didn't you land right you know you always you know sometimes you look at the script and go let's go through it and see where it worked like
00:26:06
oh yeah cuz you can't really remember it's a blur and you go oh this was good yeah I got you know walking by a TV is
00:26:14
fun backstage because you're like all I have to do is walk out there and I'm on that TV right now you're 20 feet away
00:26:19
from being on so surreal it's like a beat behind what's happening out there but it's live and then sometimes do
00:26:26
people still go up in Lauren's office and watch uh I think so Lauren's down on the floor
00:26:31
a lot I think they're probably up there you know it is true that you're there was a monitor for the dress show that I
00:26:38
could see so I'm seeing it on television Adam Samberg and my rud Oh weird and
00:26:43
when they came off I said it looked great on TV because you're just thinking it's this big space and everything so
00:26:48
it's just trunk down to all the little mannerisms um the party is way downtown
00:26:54
I get there at 145 it's a ghost town with John my new best friend John
00:26:59
Corbett wait it's they're not even there yet no i l two they wander in and um Jim
00:27:06
G um he we tease each other you're my new best friend as well because it just
00:27:12
a um it's a bonding thing I knew I knew I knew the ropes you know but for where
00:27:18
he came from just sort of nervous to Landing that on Saturday is like he's I think as I used to say the student
00:27:24
becomes the teacher pupil becomes the teach I used to say
00:27:30
that to you and Farley I think I love it when you would do well the student becomes the
00:27:38
teacher I like that uh you go to the party and I like that Corbett rolled with you that's fun he was U an out of
00:27:46
Body Experience he's a Saturday Night Live freak which you talking about me literally hasn't missed one episode like
00:27:51
all all up to the DAT yeah his interview was great with us he he talked all about it he was blown away by the whole thing
00:27:58
gaffan must have been [ __ ] because it's a whole new level of nerves I think he just landed it I he
00:28:04
was appropriately kind of apprehensive like what is this you know I told him read through doesn't mean anything we
00:28:10
have the job you don't have to go crazy you know you don't want to PE it read through and then the look started to
00:28:17
come in and then he as he played with it more and more of the big puppy dog and the physicality and then um they let him
00:28:25
kind of you know punch up a little bit I mean I they wrote the sketches but they allowed us to really put our mark on
00:28:32
them and then it just all came together once the you know he's he's a great standup and he's he's a great actor so
00:28:38
once the dress show he hit it it was kind of like here's the thing that's a little interesting about the show so the
00:28:44
first time you land it is the dress show meaning the practice show and so you're getting so much feedback from dozens of
00:28:51
people that's awesome that's awesome that's awesome then they see it again
00:28:56
about the exact same thing and there's just not as many people going that so feel like was I better
00:29:03
address but it's only because they you got the wave of compliments and now it's like Yeah just they saw the second it's
00:29:08
like the second time they've seen it I mean I may I may have the hold back a little bit it's it's sort of it's very
00:29:15
subtle but you know I was so excited it's hard not to go crazy when it's the first time you did it I wanted to make
00:29:21
sure in the dress show that those hooks really worked and what I was doing worked um and this is kind of funny uh
00:29:28
so I decided to make it a little more accessible for the audience so I said You Know Rich pay their fair share
00:29:34
Sharon Stone Stone Temple Pilots Emma Stone Fred Flintstone and then I had him go AB daba Dao you know right so that
00:29:44
that was okay I wasn't thinking about but Lauren actually I give him credit he came by and said I I don't know about
00:29:49
the yabo it doesn't sound like like Biden I I like Can't Believe It's Not
00:29:55
Butter better so then I'm getting my wig fixed cuz it's rising up the writers are
00:30:00
all around me trying to go how can we get into how what's how do we get into Can't Believe It's Not Butter so one guy
00:30:05
said border we just said let's let's the rich pay their fair share we got them pay their fair share so we can build
00:30:12
back better once you get into all those bees oh yeah Bill back so we just doing that like at
00:30:17
11:20 and they came in you're changing something was like so that's just Satur live folks behind the scenes and there's
00:30:24
lots of yeah they can they've gotten until literally you walk out there to change it they go it's on the cards it's different you're like wait yeah so yeah
00:30:32
how fun though you know um you know talk to a lot of the Cass marello and the
00:30:38
young the youngans James Austin Johnson you know it was just nice that everybody
00:30:43
in the cold opening had been on our podcast yeah every single one very fun
00:30:50
so that's a great thing so I felt a lot more comfortable there after really you know Heidi Gardner we spent an hour with
00:30:56
her you know on and on and on day everyone I ran into so Heidi Gardner had a church lady t-shirt on she got from
00:31:03
wardrobe says you you think your special or whatever and then she was playing Wayne's World on a television in her
00:31:10
dressing room in the back and it was packed and seemed like people were having drinks this is watching way right
00:31:16
before the show starts oh yeah I love it how fun well
00:31:21
and so the after party's fun you see Lauren you say whatever and you you stick around there for a while and then
00:31:27
you just sleep Su I stayed I stayed late cuz I was just Lauren was his table was
00:31:32
full I was talking to JJ Abrams who's sort of a friend and we're both well he
00:31:38
is a friend and we're both Beetle Fanatics and stuff and um and and Jim Gaffin and stuff then I saw Lauren that
00:31:45
he was alone for a second so I just stayed with Lauren till the end don't
00:31:50
let me go yeah for sure I mean that's the guy and that's the fun of being there and so now this week at least the
00:31:58
crescendo is like okay all the nerves are off the words out now you wait and say do I do another one or maybe do a
00:32:04
sketch or do whatever you're you're just available so if they say we need you we need you if they don't they might say
00:32:10
next week is whatever we'll find out I have I have like three or four ideas that um but I I think they they want to
00:32:17
see the debate first and see if one if if Biden makes an appearance on the show
00:32:22
and two is it is it related to that or is it a separate sketch or so I'll just wait see what the motif is and then
00:32:30
they're they're very and there's a lot of conflict in the world right now that
00:32:35
might be addressed on the show this weekend to where Biden would come in yes
00:32:41
the Middle East is really blown up it's getting a little crazy you know and so
00:32:47
there's a bit of a blanket on on everyone right now today you know um
00:32:53
more than more than more than before at least in recent times obviously a lot of stuff's been going going on for
00:32:59
months I saw a news headline that said Biden and Harris are monitoring this so
00:33:05
it's interesting that Biden it would just usually say Biden but Biden and haris because she's sort
00:33:12
of partially in charge well I mean the vice president is really like the main
00:33:18
job is to be there if the president something happens to the president but also you know Reagan would have one
00:33:24
one-hour lunch A Week With George Bush Senor and tell him what's going on well the ruskies are still trying to attack
00:33:31
but no not on my watch well what should we do attack back I said be quiet you're
00:33:37
the vice I'm no but uh so um Biden is still the president we got to remember
00:33:43
this you know he's still the president you just because of the situation and the election you just sort of you tend
00:33:50
to forget you know and the world that's what I'm saying is like it says two people instead of just usually it would
00:33:55
say Biden respond or whatever but I guess in the in the unique situation it
00:34:01
is right now everyone it's all hands on deck politics is politics what you know
00:34:07
Republicans Or democrats they're you know it's like a high school rally I mean they're just trying to just trying
00:34:14
to win but it'll be uh we'll see what happens we our show will be you know
00:34:19
we're like Cub reporters like we said and we will keep our listeners and
00:34:25
viewers informed of world us yeah a world events two dumbest people I will
00:34:31
actually bring out my Tom broa if I have to and today the Middle East is on fire
00:34:39
missiles are flying everywhere and I'm Tom broa the world is so stressful that
00:34:45
I've decided to have a sixpack of Miller beer before I came on air if you want to
00:34:50
do I know he's not around much anymore but I loved his voice Miller beer there
00:34:56
you go Miller beer that's how that's how you pronounce all right well let's look forward to this
00:35:01
week and then we'll also we'll talk about is there anything else to talk about we got head I mean we got some goofy stuff now to do but that was a
00:35:08
great recap and we will do this every week to hear about just a recap and I'm GNA I'm going to be there for a few
00:35:13
weeks so we'll uh we'll have we'll keep we'll keep you informed with the the
00:35:18
real story [Music]
00:35:29
oh well I'll tell you a quick story that on the weekend while you were doing this I saw it backstage I didn't know how I'd
00:35:36
get it you know sometimes your dressing room has a TV but it never really works and and I was turning it on to watch
00:35:43
Nikki because Nikki was about to go on in V we're doing this Vegas uh Venetian
00:35:50
thing yeah Nikki Glazer so she might have still been with me I just turned it on and I was look I was going well maybe
00:35:57
at SNL but it was early like it just was on the channel I'm like oh my God it's on it was right when the cold open
00:36:03
started so I uh I I got to watch it I got to watch it live I watched actually
00:36:09
that and then a couple more and then got out I had to go on but oh right backstage I see yeah go yeah it was fun uh cuz me and Nikki were talking about
00:36:15
it before and so my mom wanted tickets for two people
00:36:21
uh she got people tickets she they bought tickets but you know how it's funny when your mom my mom's so sweet
00:36:28
and she goes I don't want to be a burden I these two people are coming and they bought tickets like I'm super cheap they
00:36:35
bought them could you get them just say hi to you just say hi and don't get all Hollywood on me just it's so nice you're
00:36:41
just a nice person but you don't have to get all like big time I go I've said yes
00:36:47
so anyway I can't see your mom saying you don't have to get all big time it
00:36:52
doesn't sound like your mom she go oh everything you say sounds like CH is [ __ ] [ __ ] now I go mom they can come
00:36:59
back it's a green room oh lingo so anyway I I I said fine and then she goes
00:37:06
oh and you're going to love her she's great and her husband is so he was a carpenter till 1973 I'm like well it's
00:37:13
okay I'm saying yes I don't need the whole bio and then but it was it was not
00:37:20
a problem over 85 texts and I don't want to bug it's this is L it was most of my
00:37:26
day so me Heather we're all dealing with it it's it's it's actually comical cuz now we've got Nikki involved going Nikki
00:37:32
these people that come backstage if you're around say hi mom's like and if any and if Nikki's around maybe you
00:37:38
could just pull her from her collar bone just turn her a little bit and she'll say hello you know just kind of just
00:37:45
pull her by the pigtail and then she'll just say Hi and then turn right back around whatever she's doing I know she's busy I said Nikki is lovely she would
00:37:52
love to say hi to anyone and so it would have been easier to get Trump and Mala
00:37:57
back there there's an elevator you know sometimes backstages are tough yeah and they're like you got to
00:38:04
walk down here and they're like uh I'm in a Buffalo Wild Wings oh you went the wrong way you're about a mile off come
00:38:11
back so somehow they get backstage for like five minutes because it's before
00:38:17
the show and right when they come in Nikki's old principal of our high school
00:38:23
came in so she's so we didn't even meet the other person's people because you know like if I'm with you
00:38:30
you'll come say hi whoever I'll do it it doesn't matter and it's fun and but anyway it was they were perfectly sweet
00:38:37
and excited and then uh it was all much to do about just like the most casual saying hi and then the shows were blast
00:38:44
but it's always funny and then my mom 77 after now what would did you say did you
00:38:49
could joke around be funny and she knows I know Nikki's a little already that's fine that they can handle it they're
00:38:55
tough they're tough I said yeah yeah she goes you do any jokes it's okay with me
00:39:01
I so anyway they had a great time we talked about it again the next day at my
00:39:06
mom and I and uh now off to Florida but uh I'll be there by the time this is on
00:39:12
what are your dates do you want to just throw them out now well my last dates the people will see are probably
00:39:19
Daytona dayt oh it's Fort Meyers Friday and then it's and then it's oh Melbourne
00:39:25
Florida and then no Dayton is the last one anyway you'll figure it out also
00:39:33
d.com for all your tickets by the way and then the following week I do my special in uh in Denver and then I go to
00:39:40
Kansas City and that's it that's it and do you have a name okay that's it okay one thing I wanted to say about parents is they always expect you to remember
00:39:47
the names of their friends that you haven't seen in 40 years my dad would say oh the homans are coming over I'd
00:39:54
say the homans the homans and he'd say oh Jesus J Christ you know the homans
00:40:00
well actually I get that a lot here's bill flocko from you met him in
00:40:05
1972 really did I oh you remember him oh don't be like this you he stood next to
00:40:13
you in an elevator by the way speaking of elevators I'm in the hotel and then you hear one of
00:40:20
these there's a fire alarm just stay in your room stay in your
00:40:25
room so I said [ __ ] that so I just I get out of the room and I'm get down in the
00:40:31
elevator I'm walking by and two giant hook and ladder trucks show up get out of the way oh really but then I went did
00:40:38
where when I came back it was false alarm but I like when you're in the elevator and goes do not use the
00:40:44
elevators I'm like I'm in one get a better get a better attitude
00:40:51
get a better attitude what it's telling me how I should be no my my crummy Road gigs I
00:40:57
walk by the front desk and the lady's going oh just a drill I go you don't have a machine that
00:41:04
makes that noise no I went I was going to the lobby I heard and it was a guy with a kind of
00:41:11
this weird flute he was playing it solo I walked by and it was an Indian
00:41:16
guy fighting with another one going they were
00:41:22
talking well that's what the nurse says when I ask about the doctor instead of oh I'm going to have to call the doctor
00:41:28
she goes this is very
00:41:34
alarming and she makes her own alarm sound isn't that weird o I'm so alarmed
00:41:41
dud so anyway alarm jokes God we milk that one okay let's show picture we're
00:41:49
milking give some to the kitty all right can't keep up with those
00:41:56
so for stupid Sephora kids Sephora kids okay I thought this was interesting
00:42:02
because Heather can attest this so This Woman's daughter isn't a teenager she's
00:42:07
10 but Sephora kids likes to get kids on a skin care routine I just think it's a
00:42:14
bit of a push for a makeup company to want kids at 10 who have the most perfect skin in America to say you
00:42:20
should start using all these products and things in your face when you know
00:42:25
who knows are they good for it I don't know I'm sure as for as good stuff I just feel like can we wait a little bit before we tell girls they have to look
00:42:32
beautiful at all times I know I'm sorry I don't I don't buy makeup at 10 I think
00:42:37
it's ridiculous and also just fresh young skin that kind of replaces itself
00:42:42
every 11 hours why do you want to slap some boo on it it needs air it needs
00:42:48
oxygen maybe a little bit of sun and they're just covering it up and no all bad right you don't know what's in it
00:42:55
you're like I'm supposed to buy and they have they call it Sephora kids so the kids's like get your kid involved like I
00:43:01
know they want to sell more but it's bad enough and it's stressful enough being a young teenage girl and then just like
00:43:09
acne everything and then you're like I got to pay all this money that actually threw me when Kylie Jenner made her lip
00:43:14
kit and then she got so much money because they go look at how great her lips are she doesn't mentioned she just got them injected and blown up and they
00:43:22
did look great but everyone's like no one says that's not because of this lipstick I heard that she she went to
00:43:29
the plastic surgeon and she she had a little inner tube she got by the pool in Hidden Hills and said something like
00:43:37
this and it she brought a raft yeah little a little raft you know something like
00:43:45
this something like this you can't see me behind it but yeah something like that so pool Nole she just bent a pool
00:43:52
noodle like this went something like this people always put down the Kardashians they go what do they do I go
00:43:57
they're business women they they hacked the algorithm they understood this Lane I mean uh and they've exploited it
00:44:04
brilliantly and by the and by the way the fact of the matter is and guess what they actually do work really hard I know
00:44:11
it's very mental but they have to be completely Immaculate every second it's I'm not saying they dig ditches you know
00:44:18
what you exhausting and going to business meetings and handling everything it's not like they're just sitting around you know they have to
00:44:24
make some right decisions along the way to make money in Investments that are
00:44:31
always losing like something's working yeah something's working so we'll give him that compliment yes that's compl I'm
00:44:37
on the I'm Pro Kardashian okay
00:44:43
next okay this is a video it's GNA play oh this is the long version of the
00:44:49
singer last week this is not Biden but it is I thought it was Richard Lewis to
00:44:55
be honest who got rest his soul passed away this is a story we did last week
00:45:00
but people go do you have more on it yes here it is go ahead and click it this just Dana coming out as Biden
00:45:09
on that was a good walk by the way oh I know what this
00:45:15
is yeah and he's like hit it why are they waiting Frankie Valley is 94 or
00:45:22
something and he's walking up really slowly now now you'll hear this we
00:45:27
showed a clip why are you waiting him let him rot he's rotting
00:45:33
go oh he picked up all speed there yeah he's he's going it faster than b well
00:45:39
slower than Biden maybe I don't know that's faster than me
00:45:45
okay he doesn't really move his mouth is the problem is it the Scarecrow is see
00:45:51
but you know I don't I don't need the guy getting views by just putting his face at the bottom right that's a little did we have
00:45:57
to have the guy's face to the bottom so he's I don't he's got looks like I'm FaceTiming with him
00:46:03
hey dude he doesn't have to play it that big either the guy in the Bottom's like this
00:46:09
I I'm still processing what I just saw that's that's like Robert Plant at a 100
00:46:16
singing way down inside you know I mean it's just but he's just like doing
00:46:24
this well it's such a high energy yeah that's right
00:46:29
[Music]
00:46:36
good we don't have to pay for that because it sounds nothing like it gez I'm in a hotel room and I already heard
00:46:42
someone bang on the side of the wall got it out bang your head all right next one
00:46:48
that was good that was Frankie valet was it Frankie Val God bless him he's 94 by the way by the way so many good songs
00:46:56
hey here's a deal no that is true they have a massive amount of brilliant hits Frankie Valley and the and the
00:47:02
valones okay first of all the funny story is the woman gets hit by a hot dog at a [ __ ] game and the GIF on the
00:47:10
side is even funnier that's when you say do you think this girl I'm seeing has dated a lot of guys people will send you
00:47:16
that gift gift that's they send you that gift of like yeah she's had a lot of hot
00:47:21
dogs throwing at her but that's funny and then here's a real story on the left
00:47:26
okay he was hit by a flying hot dog it was launched by Philadelphia's mascot
00:47:31
the Philly fanatic that [ __ ] came out of nowhere it wased by a says she was watching the
00:47:39
Phillies Cardinals game Monday night with the ftic came out with his hot dog launcher he started firing hot dogs
00:47:46
wrapped in duct tape into the stands one hit McVey right in the face an out
00:47:52
blacke was came so fast and it just hit me like came so
00:47:58
fast you know and that the hot dog jumped off my face and went into the other the other seat it gives people
00:48:05
good laugh and if that makes somebody chuckle then that's B says she went to an emergency
00:48:10
room to make sure she didn't have a concussion have offered her tickets to another game and that's it that's it
00:48:19
well how about free hot dogs how about three hot dogs she got hit in the face with three hot and she's
00:48:25
bruised and battered they must have gone at high speed yeah was out of a rocket launcher
00:48:32
by the way a t-shirt gun is it's no joke no T-shirt gun I'm being serious right
00:48:38
now Bed Bath and Beyond that might I'm G to change it every time if I do do it
00:48:44
I'll probably I need others I need others the people want to write us a letter about
00:48:49
what Biden could Bumble into and what he would say there we have B bath we had Pirates
00:48:55
to the Caribbean Believe It's Not Butter and then David suggested Bed Bath and Beyond so yeah we'll text later I got
00:49:04
lots of it is oh wait oh yeah but there's a gift of
00:49:09
you that I sent you from Heather that was a uh it said I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and on top of it it had
00:49:17
broccoli yes it see if you can send it in and we'll pop it on I repost it should I I just sent it to Greg oh we're
00:49:23
sending it to Greg it's very funny because it's two of your big things combined shockingly weird one gift weirdly of
00:49:32
crazy gift to gifty um yeah we'll get it don't worry she
00:49:37
sent it to him if she gets it all we'll keep yeah I'll I'll do mine we'll do it after this next story yeah he'll get it
00:49:42
uh what's the next story next story story okay rat birth control could
00:49:48
soon roll out in New York City okay that's a good
00:49:54
idea uh is it rat rubbers what is it what what is it I don't know they eat a
00:49:59
little pill and then I mean what the initiative aims to curb the use of harmful
00:50:05
rodenticides that's is that a word rodenticides were they rodents a
00:50:11
contraceptive that reduces fertility in male and female rats ah it's about time
00:50:17
the guys have to deal with it and uh served in fat filled pellets
00:50:24
H yeah they said they got to get get the rats to eat it you know you know you give it bit stuff in a piece of cheese
00:50:30
they spit it out why why is a squirrel uh kind of cute and cuddly but rats
00:50:37
really give you the ick universally hated rats and you know what Ratatouille
00:50:43
gets laid a lot in New York you know that he's famous and so I almost gu
00:50:48
voiced Ratatouille yeah he gets laid oh really yeah Pixar offered me the lead
00:50:54
part but I what do you do you say no to that well I went to the meeting and Pixar's brilliant and they've got all
00:50:59
these massive hits Toy Story now they're we're going to make one about a French rat trying to cook and I just thought
00:51:07
okay this is going to be a real I don't want to be in Pixar's last pull up pull
00:51:14
up turned it down turned down that's like love it's turning on
00:51:21
Home Alone well that was yeah that but um the the movie was a smash um so
00:51:28
that's okay there's your little gift is't that hot that is I said chop chopping broccoli who doesn't love a
00:51:36
broccoli stock Pumping Iron while sitting on a carton of Camp Believe It's Not Butter no joke that was my who
00:51:43
doesn't love that it's too funny that's be a t-shirt it's everything cuz I I do
00:51:49
live weights and they they're about that size ironically so it's more accurate than
00:51:55
people know okay I didn't know that was butter I didn't know it was broccoli I thought he
00:52:00
just had Tick Tock hair you know it's all curly on topm I'm being factious okay One More
00:52:07
Story we're almost done fuses oh go ahead it's we we've already done 53 fous
00:52:13
yeah it's 5209 5210 all right Dominican in New York City goes viral for selling
00:52:19
water on the street as a VIP service okay I think the only difference
00:52:24
is he's dressed up I think think this isn't bad though
00:52:30
but he gives you AA he's got a tuxedo cuz in New York sometimes it's
00:52:36
annoying if they come out wash a windshield and just to get money is he selling or giving and then sees what I
00:52:41
think he's selling oh1 yeah and look
00:52:49
guy oh just made 19 gave him a 20 plus it's boiling in New York right
00:52:56
when he did this well yeah he's in a nice tuxedo
00:53:04
folks okay you can turn it off yeah we get it I don't know Spanish and I can't read um so that was interesting he's
00:53:12
work oh you do go ahead why do Biden as if he was a Cuban dictator hey whatever
00:53:23
over Biden is a Cuban dictator get
00:53:32
it what does that mean two something no it's like guess what C by the way k
00:53:40
k that's why right it's gibber Spanish everybody relax all right here we go all
00:53:47
right let's try to go out on one more good one okay real good one okay we see
00:53:52
oh this is Spade when he's on the road and I can't get my step because it's
00:53:58
raining okay that's [Music] good that's all okay we're looking at
00:54:06
what is it a feret a looks like a fret sitting upright
00:54:13
cat watching out the Rainy window sitting like a person yeah sitting looks like a person um I thought it was cute
00:54:20
that's me on the road it's it's it's got a cute meter of about 60 65%
00:54:27
but it's got a good 40 45% of I don't want to see that what that Dana that you
00:54:33
would I thought you'd be let me ask you a question would you have that thing sitting up like that and just curl curl
00:54:38
up in the bed next to it and go take a nap oh because it's scary you're saying well it's not cuddly doesn't it have
00:54:45
claws and gets oh he did have some [ __ ]
00:54:51
Claws by the way there's there's women right now the nails are getting a bit
00:54:57
too far out there have they really blown that out because I've seen it a long time in track and field where women have
00:55:03
these giant Nails yeah yeah huh you want those we wiener Cutters anyway um so
00:55:11
Dana we just want to say to you good luck out there have a great time we all miss you like crazy it's kind of
00:55:20
surreal being back it'll be fun is is gaffan in your hotel or nearby Maybe you
00:55:26
can go to lunch and he's here and yeah I'll hang out with him I can he's really fun uh great sense of humor and uh he
00:55:34
really feels Midwestern you know I mean he's like I mean his specials in his touring I mean he's gigantic but he
00:55:41
really feels middle class Midwestern guy you know yeah he's he's very legit yeah
00:55:47
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do walls I'll have him by next week yeah
00:55:52
he's that's very close already he's got a very distinct voice but so much fun to hang out with he's a good dude yeah well
00:55:59
you're going to have fun this week all right well go have a good time I'll check on you later thanks for watching everybody and listening good luck on
00:56:06
tour or guess who's calling it could be a nice little hop it might be a nice little hop for
00:56:13
GS I don't know Spade doesn't like money so anyway all right I'll take this
00:56:20
we'll talk later I called Spade but he doesn't answer cuz he doesn't like money does Like Money Dana likes money
00:56:27
this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna wife Burman
00:56:34
of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it
00:56:41
[Music]
