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[Music] I used to watch porn in the 80s and I'd
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see some guy with some [ __ ] Wang and then some girl with dislocate her jaw like an
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anacon and I go is this even possible maybe I was mixing that up with a nature
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Chan I don't know I don't I won't even I won't even go there I don't even know what to say
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again what color am I [Music]
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yeah sorry about these bullet holes behind me but um we're we're working on the house or
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something Jesus Christ some grassy null stuff going on there okay
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Christ Christ Christ Lots going on Dana if we're starting let's start this is
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start Ted and we're almost done okay um hi everybody I have a story about R Aid
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which is you know obviously love that's already an eye-catcher ear
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catcher oh what happened at Right Aid yeah right Aid okay I want to hear because I I yeah go so I have to go to r
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a day and night you know celebrities they're just like us so I don't even I'm getting
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toothpaste I go to the biggest rate on Sunset it's literally got 15 items left
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and it's about an acre 15 I mean it's don't do that you can't abuse
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that you can't abuse the look go ahead okay so you're going down
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the aisle and you're going down the aisle mhm okay figuring out my hair okay
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I'm going down the aisle and I see a guy walking in huge dude with his with his shirt pulled up right he's obviously on
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some hard times maybe he's homeless I but he comes in and he says that there's two people working and he's talking to
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them I don't know what he's saying but when I walk in they go sir you'll have to pull your shirt down by the way I
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didn't think they give anybody order like that you know what I mean they usually don't say anything but he goes oh I'm sorry it's so hot I'm drenched
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and sweat but he's being very polite that's all I knowed the big story okay he's being polite so he's still
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Meandering around I go get my three things it is like a war zone there's no toothpaste in a whole aisle there's one
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toothpaste so I have to take that shitty one uh it looks like Crest it's like coloring but it's not it's obviously
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some knockoff but I say fine so I walk just bear is it bear I mean there's just
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yeah there's there's no there's none in that one I did a video maybe I'm hitting him between
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stocking I don't know yeah yeah so but I get only three things so I walk up I get
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in line now the two helpers that work there aren't there Cashers now my man comes up behind me
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with his stuff I don't even know what he's getting mid drift mid drift guy Mikey midriff oh Mikey midriff comes up
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behind right behind me uh rubbing his stomach just being just killing time and
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then I am scared CU we're just standing there and so I go I don't know where these chicks went you know I try to
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buddy I say something like it's me and you against the world you know I'm your pal friends yeah yeah I'm your friends
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yeah and then I look over and there's a you know Thrifty has like an ice cream cone part oh oh that you got to have an
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ice cream store inide inside of R A yeah Thrifty Ice Cream yeah right so been
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there forever they're in everyone so she's down there helping some woman forever and the woman's like yeah
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Captain Crunch she's like I'm like that's not an ice cre come on like and I just want to get moving so the guy
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behind yeah it could be an ice cream flavor yeah and the lady's like Captain I'm like they don't we don't it's
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not but anyway the guy behind me goes shoot I think I'm gonna have to steal this stuff I got to get going and who
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says that out loud I go yeah man I'm thinking about that you know and then I
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only have three things I'm not going to bankrupt the store but I'm like I should probably by the way the whole La is the
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honor System now there's no real laws or rules it's just like either wait l or you don't you just leave so he's being
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kind of cool but they don't come back so he says uh shoot hey I gotta take off I
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gotta go I just got to steal it and I go cool you know I give him the thumbs up cool so he runs out then he runs into a
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a man and woman with their three kids and he goes oh sorry sorry sorry I just stole this I got to go I got I'm in a
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hurry so he goes in and and then I thought of my head yeah I go where's he
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going like you know what I mean he's got jury duty why why why do you got to rush out I just saw your laying on the ground
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he's got to get out of here get back got go yeah plus I thought he was there more for the AC because that's kind of why I
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was there but he just kind of chilled and then the people I go oh are you okay
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and they go were you in Benchwarmers I go okay so is this a lot going on so we
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took a picture of them anyway that's all that's the whole thing that's a good
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story though I think it's a good story I I like just from in a a human level that
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you uh kind of were chill with the guy yeah you were warm to him you know he's
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probably hurting and he was polite did he have no pack four pack six-pack or
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12pack no he was a little chunky no I'm not going to say that Dan I take it back
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let's not let's not go there it was a I think it was a mesh shirt he was going with like a look
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look so I think you have to be pretty ripped to have that I've been in line at
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right we on the other side of the riot a someone is having a bad day and
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everyone's waiting in line to get their meds and we're all kind of and then it suddenly on the other side of the
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stores and everyone's like everyone freezes will there be violence or right
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now I need my medicine I have to I get probably I probably have
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about five prescriptions do the math I won't say which ones they are no and sometimes you get a prescription they go
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would you like to talk to the pharmacist they go all right and they kind of man you over you doing Dana got any
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questions no I've taken it daily for 40 years but how are you doing sir what questions would I
00:06:22
have he been doing going up any at this Comedy Store lately like oh these questions he has he has some for you
00:06:30
oh yeah well the thing is I'm at a level of so-called Fame that I can wander
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around a mall and wander around places with nothing and then all of a sudden someone goes hey I love the church SL I
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literally get scared I jump I forget that I was on TV yeah yeah that's funny
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yeah you sure got a lot of fans out there I'll tell you that my pharmacist
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goes do you know how to take these pills I go for a while I've been putting him
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on my mouth and then drinking water with him is that still work and he's like yeah you could do that my gu picks up
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the bottle shakes them near his ear and goes hey do you really need these
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[Laughter] really what okay now we're playing
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tennis what else do your guy do I go like if you have something that like if you have medication you have to take
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every day I like when a guy goes you can get 30 of these I go I don't want to
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come here I have to come here all the time like just give me stuff that I
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don't have to keep [ __ ] coming back like you the [ __ ] great lady that does it to you oh oh you want I'm GNA
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have to call Dr here's a thing that happens so you
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your doctor calls it in you want one a day so it's 30 for a month then you get
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the thing you bring it home and it's 15 oh and then you go back and they go
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oh the insurance wouldn't cover it it was an extra1
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38 so we only gave you 15
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exactly I go here's $10 this will cover the next five years of that just give me all of them what sleep year we gave you
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28 well if you get sleep medication it's like a bank heist with certain people it's like okay that's you want I don't
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know if it's ready all right I'll wait mhm okay dude they tell me cough Ser
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same thing they go why don't you wait over there while we push the [ __ ] bank robbery buzzer so the cops I'm like
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I need cough it's coding I'm sorry there are people that need things for things still it's not just abuse rather than
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just chugging coating I by the way side note I love it but I had bronchitis and pneumonia and
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the guy goes they don't like us to just give this away I go I'm the exact person that needs it you [ __ ] like give it to
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me he's like they don't like us just throwing this [ __ ] around I I'm not Little Wayne I need it I'm not
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putting it with my slurpie like I need to I mean I will anyway it's just like got weird anyway phes are funny yes
00:09:16
Pharmacy are funny got it cut we have too much to talk about I will say I have to plug my gigs because I'm going to
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Denver I want to give you permission let's have an edit go hey David so you don't have to bring it up where and your
00:09:30
fans see you in the in theing you know this is hard to talk about I know you don't want to showbo or promote but
00:09:36
please just do it I've got the Venetian coming up with Nikki Glazer I've got um
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Minneapolis Indianapolis I've got Hartford connectic
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four in Florida boyy look at this [ __ ] oh my neck of the
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wood Seattle we got Providence r i
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[Music] oh yeah we got Kansas City oh Denver I'm filming something so I got two that
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night that jeez I wish I had a map I can't 11th I think yeah anyway other
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than that yeah who who who Okay Pop Quiz who wrote the song where the line is I've
00:10:17
Been Everywhere man is that what he says I've Been Everywhere I hear that commercials I
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don't know I know I don't know well it's like you're like Willie Nelson I don't even know I just know I've Been Everywhere Man you're like Will Nelson
00:10:30
on road again yeah I know that one can't wait to get back to Indianapolis before
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we get to our our uh but anyway go see my friend David he's one of the funniest
00:10:41
people uh in Western the Western Hemisphere you won't be sorry um and we have the my last question is about the
00:10:48
Olympics because we got a few stories coming up then we have a guest at the end what oh we got a guest at the end uh
00:10:54
yeah do we do yeah do if it's say his name should we promote it if if this is
00:11:00
the first part of this well they can stick around and figure it out okay well it is Olympics oriented or is my friend
00:11:07
says orientated they're both we're the first podcast in our quadrant to have
00:11:14
the Olympic gold medalist Cole Hawker oh yeah Cole Haw
00:11:20
and we we I'm a track nut we do a deep dive um he's very Charming so listen to that stay tuned for that yeah stay tuned
00:11:27
that's in a couple between that great thing is us doing whatever we do for a few more minutes I will say in the
00:11:33
Olympics did you see we did talk about Snoop but flavor flave is sort of floating around love that guy he's funny
00:11:39
is I think they got him because is his big clock a stopwatch that would be smart you know what I mean go yeah
00:11:48
go Gooding yeah if he modified it to look like an old fashion big stopwatch
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and was timing people damn that would have been ftic with his sideway yeah got
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a clipboard oops real gun and the runners can can read the result from 100
00:12:05
yards away yeah while they're running yeah okay I'm doing pretty good also he's very mysterious he's like does he
00:12:11
have a Social Security number like I don't know him because a guy kind of comes out of the woodwork then he goes
00:12:17
away comes back not sure if he's rapping anymore or music I don't know but
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everyone loves them I just go by the premise that there's so much show business that no one knows what anyone's
00:12:28
doing doing if you told me flavor flave just did a European tour sold out I go oh okay okay yeah who keeps track I mean
00:12:36
you just tell people I I should tell people that too that's a great point because you just don't know if yeah he
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just sold out stadiums and you go yeah oh oh I didn't know that man so if you were gonna not be David Spade and name
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yourself something what would it be five seconds spudly Spud okay does it have to
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be like that what's your no that's good I'd be Dane of the de
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I'd be big dick Mcgee because that one people want to try to figure it out like is it true or is he just saying H my my
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mine would be it won't fit easily mine would be bring some
00:13:14
WD40 whatever that okay we'll do poo later flavor flave would you at a
00:13:20
certain point I'd get like an aluminum clock it's too heavy on my neck I couldn't pull that thing around you know
00:13:25
I'd have the money to get a solid gold clock he does have money but oh yeah well please answer me this and tell me
00:13:33
this flavor flave must have a deal with
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Kool-Aid Kool-Aid flavor flavor flave Kool-Aid oh yeah I want apple I want
00:13:45
Cherry how about flavor flave what what what flavor flave do you want
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you'll find out later yeah it okay it's for for a seven-year-old I want flavor
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flave cuz it's just sounds different okay I thought you going to say timx like he should get a deal with a clock
00:14:04
oh I was going by the nickname that nickname has nothing to do with time he should have been called the human time
00:14:10
machine.com flavor flave is a cool name that's a smart one to get it's hard to get yes yes it is okay let's go do some
00:14:18
headlines because we got to get to our guest so I don't want to waste too much time let's do it [Music]
00:14:30
all right give us anything uh I I have these things and we'll just say okay before they start let me see is this
00:14:37
about the Olympics they wouldn't do us like that I'm clearly hallucinating right now looks like let see what it is
00:14:44
we'll figure it out sound up we're gonna talk about this when I've calmed down
00:14:51
but what just happened I know that they did not advertise this as confirm
00:14:57
musical guest red hot Snoop Dogg and Billy eish and then have those three
00:15:02
artists zoom in on a zoom meeting and put it on the on the screen the small
00:15:08
screen I know they didn't do that I know they wouldn't sell tickets in good faith to people here in Paris and say come on
00:15:14
we all these artists and then show a small TV screen of them zooming in I know they wouldn't do that I think I
00:15:20
think they're in Malibu Dana I think yeah they wouldn't do were they were in
00:15:26
La attitude they would do this to us you're selling tickets to a concert at the end of the Olympics with
00:15:34
red hot and Snoop was it he's there Snoop
00:15:39
must have got some kind of SuperSonic jet because you know he doesn't play make sure not there for the adverti show
00:15:45
that is a bit of a bamboozle and I don't like to use that word but I think it is is what I'm clear what she just said so
00:15:53
they said like I'm going to De leopard in a couple weeks with joury and Steve Mill go to Sofi stadium and they put up
00:16:00
a big screen and they're doing a show in Paris and I'm watching that oh I that's
00:16:06
what happened they were all here in America doing the concert and they saw it on a zoom call she oh on a zoom she
00:16:13
go I'm watching a zoom meeting with all these people like on a huge screen like well I got got to give
00:16:21
it to your mama you want to get Give It Away Give
00:16:26
It Away give it away now continue and Dr Dre I thought it was
00:16:32
very cool from just someone watching watching it on the TV yeah I mean I I
00:16:37
thought it was LA but I didn't know they said it was there okay next one that's good she has an AR no that's that's crazy funny
00:16:46
crazy okay this is oh this is something about the Olympics oh this is a cringe moment I
00:16:53
this girl hurt her leg in the Olympics yes and they come up to help her now watch plays out okay her legs hurt
00:17:01
someone help her she's hurt she's down there two people now coach maybe helping her talking to her talking to her might
00:17:08
be a fencer this guy's helping they need to let her sit down they need to get her
00:17:13
out of there thank God a guy brings a chair tells the coach put her in this
00:17:19
chair oh for me thank you the uninjured uninjured man sits in the chair to
00:17:26
illustrate how to sit in a chair yeah maybe that's he said later I was just showing her how to sit why would the
00:17:32
healthy gu sit in the chair it must have been illustrative they tap on the shoulder goes oh thanks man I'm wiped
00:17:37
out Oh you mean for that broken okay no I'm s i it was so quick look so comfortable he had bright yellow pants
00:17:44
on he couldn't resist lowering his butt into a chair God if Spade saw a chair
00:17:49
and I was standing for more than eight minutes I'd be [ __ ] give me that God your thing is you're always trying to
00:17:55
stand you're always trying to tr stand and when I'm standing I need to sit that's what a bad neck will do for
00:18:03
you you just want the other one all the time I think you got to go to ride a you need some medicine for
00:18:10
that that guy had to go he goes I gotta get going man I go he goes do you have I go what about me and he goes are you on
00:18:17
a TV show right now I go I mean I he goes not right now I go no he goes I gotta go you don't need to go I got to
00:18:24
go there's there's your thumbnail that's another good thumb with the straw I
00:18:30
don't have my eyebrow shoots up I got to get some I got to tame that down with some gorilla glues jeez well I'm on it
00:18:36
okay next one I'm working our way to the guest oh this is funny wait oh that the
00:18:43
average Olympian in the Olympics is prettier than Miss Universe I mean that Miss Universe is very pretty but I
00:18:48
thought Miss Universe and the average Olympian well I would say and I don't know whether it's age related but um
00:18:56
there was seemed to be a disproportionate amount of extremely attractive
00:19:02
athletes um and so it you know I I'll say from Heather's listening you know
00:19:09
from the female perspective and the male perspective it seems like you're winning the life of Lottery yes you're going to
00:19:15
be super talented you're going to the Olympics you're G to get paid millions of dollars and you're incredibly good-look oh okay thank you yeah that's
00:19:23
right and there and there's pretty split that equal amount of female and male
00:19:29
greatl looking it was it was more the greatl looking Olympics it was everyone was like all the runners all the dudes
00:19:34
I'm like this guy's a stud one guy had a headband he's cool I'm like God dang they get it all I guess no I got their
00:19:39
sunglasses they're taking them off you know I don't I don't I they're taking them off they taking off the glasses you
00:19:46
know what's up you know I don't think they did it intentionally but someone put up the sign orgy Village and they
00:19:51
took it down and set of Olympic Village oh yeah let's roll let's roll a clip from [ __ ] Olympic Village
00:19:59
you got more thumbnails than a thumbnail Factory I'm just trying to keep it alive over here in my [ __ ] bayroot wall
00:20:07
there it is does my hair make you happy my hair
00:20:14
isn't bad today but it's a little messy but look it looks like it's just you know what it is it's
00:20:19
Untamed yeah my face looks like I slept on for a couple days but it's waking up
00:20:26
it'll wake up in a couple when I get look at my picture I'm just focusing on you I took all the mirrors down this is
00:20:32
my only mirror when I'm on Zoom I go what the [ __ ] um okay next one we're getting
00:20:39
there Daya we're we're kind of that's all right oh this is what you do when you're rich Mark Zuckerberg made a
00:20:44
statue of his wife in his backyard Wow money to burn Productions it's it's
00:20:50
gigantic it's it's she she's an Adonis or something or
00:20:55
something is that's her hair or something uh um I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to call it 10 million for
00:21:02
that yeah I would do it for him for 10 million I'd find some old green statue
00:21:09
from like Avatar you know out did you see that Zuckerberg you know we had the
00:21:15
robotic kind of chipet hair and sort of the glycerin face all smooth and now
00:21:20
he's got all kind of frothy hair and it's weing casual clo he's having a midlife crisis at 38 he wants to go back
00:21:27
to 17 go ahead I want to look better all the time and I want to get enough money to where I look great and everyone just
00:21:34
goes what happened I go I don't know nothing I just look way better well they got all all kinds all
00:21:41
kinds that Shippy has that huge monster 3,000 Zuckerberg or B yacht it's all the
00:21:49
same they go out they go out and each one has a pharmacy on it probably you know pilot studio and a surgical center
00:21:56
and Urgent Care they and a small army and a helicopter helicopter repair shop
00:22:03
Bowling Alley all the all the all the accoutrements those Yachts this year and they're like you wouldn't believe it's
00:22:10
unreal they just like famous people walking around because they get paparazzi you
00:22:15
know well I put this out any Saudi Prince that wants David and I to come to their party and just hang out and be
00:22:21
Charming we're we're we're there 20 minute set at night we'll double we'll
00:22:27
do a 20 minute set we're not cheap but we're less than Beyonce yeah
00:22:34
okay next one okay we're like a real professional show okay is this funny let me see it is kind of that scared me I
00:22:42
don't know what this is okay here's the video kid with this oh he eats this [ __ ] hamburger oh
00:22:50
gross that's how wide he can open his mouth that's like an anaconda eating an
00:22:55
elk is that real I mean no so people listening to this he opened his mouth
00:23:02
like alien in the first and second alien he had a second set of teeth I mean he
00:23:08
dislocated his jaw you you could have put a football in his mouth exactly what
00:23:13
what I used to watch porn in the 80s and I'd see some guy with some [ __ ] Wang and then some girl with dislocate her
00:23:20
jaw like an anacon and I go is this even possible
00:23:27
maybe I was mixing that up with a nature Channel I don't I don't I won't even I won't even
00:23:33
go there I don't even know what to say again what color am I that wall is dark green behind me so that shows
00:23:40
you everything I have I'm have blinds and things and go ahead okay next one
00:23:47
I'm the color of my room it's all brown and you look good though you look crispy okay oh this is a good Farley you
00:23:55
know Farley uh was on Leno I don't think I saw this clip when it happened yeah I
00:24:01
went on with him a couple times but this one Shannon dhy was on asnl and she was
00:24:06
great it's super very striking very pretty lots of fun did a great sketch
00:24:11
with Sandler called the Denise show was just very game so they're somehow on on
00:24:18
Leno together and of course Farley interrupts her the whole time and it's
00:24:23
hysterical yes Chris and I did Saturday Night Live Together oh sure that's right of course and we had so much and I
00:24:28
thought he was such a nice guy and then um I ran into him much later a True Lies Premiere and he had no idea who I
00:24:37
was you know something I was blind drunk blind
00:24:42
[Applause]
00:24:48
drunk like this you know the women they come they
00:24:55
go he keeps grabbing actually you know he would go for you because I understand you're cooking you're like doing a whole
00:25:01
cooking thing so yeah who wouldn't go for her she's gorgeous and she cook the girl shower SC
00:25:08
oh you have a girl shower scene in hello rubbing his in rewind two words
00:25:16
pause and Rewind met how [ __ ] funny what a talk
00:25:23
show Masterpiece of Farley just can't stop screaming and
00:25:28
maybe Wast his scream in the rhythm of it it's like Kennison had one and Chris
00:25:33
had his own voice was so good deep crazy rough and raw and the commitment of it
00:25:40
it's just you can you can't not laugh I say every almost every girl came on that
00:25:46
show had a somewhat of a crush on him because he was so hilarious he'd grab you and you go back and you get nervous
00:25:52
and grab and then yell something stupid then feel stupid but couldn't take oh
00:25:57
yeah he was always under cutting himself and self-deprecating and he kind of leaned down and that's Daya the
00:26:04
lady grab you choke you hey lady choke you to
00:26:10
death never called me Dana never called me Cary just lady there's the lady yeah
00:26:16
oh yeah he would be great around anyway okay go ahead we'll get too sad okay go ahead what's the next
00:26:24
one okay oh oh this is the one I told you about last week okay we can end with
00:26:31
this one this was Sunni Leo I think is so adorable and she's talking to herself
00:26:37
but we couldn't do it we found it this is the one I was she's gonna do a lip reader says what she's saying as she's
00:26:42
nervously waiting to do the Pummel horse or the balance beam right yeah or the
00:26:48
floor okay you got this last
00:26:54
one listen for the beat get this one over
00:27:01
it'll be good one thing at a time isn't that cute wow that that gave
00:27:09
me gave me CHS me too I don't know why I liked it so much I thought she's just
00:27:14
thinking and she's got the whole stadium like and she's like because everything boils down to that one Olympic run
00:27:20
you're doing whether the floor whatever but too cute I I think you know like
00:27:26
with golf you have five minutes between things they have so much time to wait it's not like basketball go go go
00:27:33
instinct to and to try to be in the moment not get in your head try not to try it is the [ __ ]
00:27:40
Olympics uh that's why it was sometimes hard to watch you know the only thing
00:27:45
that matters because the Heartbreak is too you know it's too rough you don't win you don't and you're like I did all
00:27:52
this and yeah and it just that for us sitting on a couch having a beer we're just like in awe of The Bravery to put
00:27:59
yourself in a position to [ __ ] up in front of a billion people so you already
00:28:04
want to give them a hug anyway but I think that some of them do have sports therapists uh that they work with and I
00:28:11
think that there's a postcript if it didn't go well so be like okay sure it
00:28:16
didn't go well you [ __ ] up I'm no one really thinks beyond the Olympics I mean like Co like it it's that's the goal so
00:28:24
even the next day you're like I won I didn't win like am I going to do the four years now and try it again or or do
00:28:30
I start to figure out my life now and like complicated your your family everybody's either there or wa there's
00:28:37
parties in the states watching you and they want you to win so bad um feel like
00:28:44
you're letting him down if you don't well let's introduce why don't you introduce our boy because uh he you
00:28:50
turned me on to this guy in the Olympics and uh tell the crowd about if you watch the Olympics and watch track and field
00:28:56
there were some amazing things and one of them was the 1500 meter final with with Cole Hawker yob Ingle britson it
00:29:04
was an amazing race and Cole Hawker scored an upset and won the gold medal and he's
00:29:12
still kind of flying high from it and trying to process what just happened to him and I'm kind of a track nut ran in
00:29:20
high school a little bit in college and so it was fun to interview him and uh get some interesting insight into how do
00:29:27
you how do you manage the pressure how do you train yourself to Sprint when
00:29:33
you're exhausted there's a lot of pain involved so it was a Charming Charming person and enjoyed it we enjoy it
00:29:40
yourself David yeah that's it I thought he was a super cool dude yeah absolutely great guy we haven't interviewed him yet
00:29:46
we're about to right now okay yeah yeah I can't I can't can't wait to hear what he says yeah
00:29:53
[Music]
00:30:00
well first of all congratulations I've seen a a few of your interviews online and stuff so I
00:30:06
understand where you're at you know I just wanted to say as a fan because I'm a track nut you know what a track nut is
00:30:14
uh one thing because I have a little email chain with brother both ran track
00:30:19
we're all from pre we're all from Frank Shorter era and during the Olympic
00:30:24
trials they had a shot of you in full stride um and and I thought to myself whoa he's
00:30:30
running different something something's going on the Authority or the armed carriage or something so in the thing
00:30:37
everyone say CER versus inle Brits him we're going back and forth I said Cole I
00:30:43
said watch watch him Dark Horse I didn't think you would kick I knew you had a
00:30:49
kick can he kick off 247 yes he can that was new information
00:30:55
for Inger britson he can kick off 247 even blows my mind saying yeah I
00:31:04
think that was new information for for everyone like including myself like I knew like based on my trials race the
00:31:11
way I ran it I had you know it was a 330 R we're getting in to the nitty gery but it was
00:31:17
a 330 race I I totally understand a 52 last lap go ahead exactly and with the 52 last La that's far from evenly split
00:31:25
and so yeah I knew that my PRS weren't uh like you know equivalent to what I
00:31:30
thought I could run and then yeah I knew I was gonna have to have the race of My Life um but it was definitely a shock a
00:31:38
big shock to I feel like the world but not as big of a shock to to me not to me
00:31:44
not to me um but I the pace shocked me you know uh that he would take it out at
00:31:51
54 by the way let me just quickly do for you because you only will get it my my
00:31:57
uh is it Jacob or Jacob Jacob incit I think yakob yeah yakob sorry
00:32:03
impression how did you think the race went I'm sorry you're the only person
00:32:09
get um I thought it uh was a good race it um it was a fast race you know um
00:32:17
maybe too fast um but we go back we go back you know he speaks in three-word
00:32:23
sentences okay all right and now here's Jos Kerr Sean conry has a dis hits uh I
00:32:31
saw him uh he looked at me and I knew I had him I had a lot left but apparently not not
00:32:39
enough left for that little
00:32:44
upart spot on and uh yared Yus uh is just enthusiasm he's just like it's
00:32:52
awesome race man that guy just exudes joy and uh you're kind of you're like
00:32:59
you know you don't put a lot out there you keep it close to your vest but you are kind of like the Silent
00:33:05
Assassin yeah well those are all for as nich's impression that those are those are spot on 28 people are having a
00:33:14
joyous moment here's my impression the uh the pole V that hit his wiener
00:33:20
picture this this is the far I'm going to stand up for this one no I'm kidding this this is
00:33:26
brilliant no even if the bar is this big mine still doesn't look big enough so I can't even do the impression Spade was
00:33:32
obsessed with the wieners hitting poal everything but I have a real question
00:33:38
for Cole all right this is well one is I only have two because Dana is the super
00:33:43
Runner one question you could have two question I'm watching because Dana told me to watch this because he's a fan of
00:33:50
yours he says watch this race and toward the end I mean you're sort of in the back you you come up I'm putting it real
00:33:56
layman's terms you come up you're getting closer closer to the front everyone follow me Striking Distance
00:34:05
there's a difference Striking Distance it looks like you're going to make a move and you got boxed out a little bit
00:34:11
and then you faded back and then you saw like a hole and you came on the inside but I thought that fade back it's too
00:34:18
late to do one of those fade backs cuz you were giving it something and I thought oh [ __ ] there's nothing left and
00:34:24
then you pushed on the inside I was like oh my God is that what happened you pushed on the inside and then you kind of caught him off guard or I don't know
00:34:30
what happened yeah yeah I mean that's why I think the race has like resonated
00:34:35
so well because everyone can understand it it wasn't it was just a really good race like even if you don't know
00:34:42
anything about track but yeah I ended up passing on the inside which like I was
00:34:48
talking to reporter directly after the race and actually didn't remember if I
00:34:53
passed on the inside or the outside which kind of surprised me that I I didn't remember and just showed me that
00:34:58
it was instinctual I guess you were in some other place yeah yeah it
00:35:04
was interesting part for me is that it just because this this is I got to say I
00:35:10
think the greatest 1500 meter world class race and Olympic final I think for
00:35:15
Layman I mean it was I had people in the room not track fans going crazy but it
00:35:21
seemed like inle Brion was a little bit sharing Lane one and so you you you ran up him a little bit so you broke St so
00:35:28
technically you're a 32740 probably without that I know you
00:35:34
thought of it oh yeah I thought of it so then if for people don't understand it's
00:35:40
the worst thing can happen to it was like a half break a full break you don't get the gold it was just like a quarter
00:35:46
half break but still and then he drifted maybe thinking he was G to make a move
00:35:52
on on ker and then you got that little squeeze and then yeah the whole thing happened like that but it was just
00:35:58
mind-blowing to watch yeah yeah I mean I did notice after the fact and coming
00:36:04
down from everything I'm like there's still half second in there um which is saying a lot considering it was about a
00:36:11
3 second PR already um but yeah those little anything stopping especially at
00:36:18
the end of a 1500 at that pace is can be detrimental you know I just wanted to
00:36:23
ask you this because there's always winning the race and there's and there's winning the Olympic gold but now you
00:36:30
walk around as a 32765 guy and that is its own high of
00:36:37
course it's not you the goal is the goal but it's a trip to have a PR in for a
00:36:43
worldclass athlete to PR that Big 3 seconds is an
00:36:48
eternity and you did it in the Olympic final I don't know what are you I I'm doing all the Talking you're nauy but go
00:36:54
ahead what do you think no yeah I mean that's what you're how you're breaking it down is kind of you know the same
00:37:01
thoughts I'm I'm having about it um but I guess like again I I knew a fast time
00:37:10
was coming I mean sub 330 has been my goal since uh 2021 since the last
00:37:16
Olympics I ran 331 um and I was you know the goal is
00:37:22
always to win um but then in the back of my mind being sub 330 is uh um you know
00:37:29
that's like a league of its own and for anyone that's not a super nerd of track
00:37:34
you know it's sub four which is a big deal in the mile and then the 1500 the equivalent to sub four is
00:37:41
probably around 343 yeah um for the 1500 um just to kind
00:37:48
of give some perspective and on you know sub 330 is a I don't know how many guys have done
00:37:55
it but it it was a big goal of mine and uh the past two seasons were interrupted
00:38:02
training by uh injury um which you know that's half the battle in this Sport and
00:38:09
um the year after the Olympics 2022 uh the previous one uh I was sidelined you
00:38:16
know completely for about a month and a half um and that was leading up to the US trials and so um I didn't even make
00:38:23
the US team for that year was the World Championships um and then the next year
00:38:28
uh was another world championships in Budapest which is this past year and I had to start my training about two
00:38:36
and a half months later than than I would have liked to with some Achilles stuff and so what I'm saying is like
00:38:41
these past two years have been interrupted and I made it to the world final last year with very truncated
00:38:48
training and I just was like if I can get this uninterrupted I know how good I can be
00:38:54
and and that was just the name of the game this whole season and like you know we it's pretty much day by day week by
00:39:00
week and in track and field and trying to stay injury free and I kept stacking those days and weeks and I made it to us
00:39:07
trials and I was like I told myself I've done everything I could to get here um I've stayed injuryf free and so let's
00:39:14
see what I got and I had the race of my life and then the same story can be said about the Olympic finals and just I
00:39:22
think that that big jump in time um again is is a shock on paper but
00:39:28
um I knew like with this uninterrupted training I was fitter than I've ever been by a long shot and that those times
00:39:34
were coming you know the past three years I haven't missed a workout and it it's just you know not really an option
00:39:41
at this level it's not I don't want to get out of bed today but the options are
00:39:46
those little fine details where you know it's easy to skip those especially you
00:39:51
have a great workout and you just want to lay in bed and but smart thing to do is go get a massage go you know have a
00:39:59
really good meal all that stuff well your your new best friend inor britson um he talks about overtraining and
00:40:06
running your race Before the Race which is also a disease that can happen you know you're just training you're you're
00:40:13
not tapering as well and you want to train train train so you must have come in very very rested you know you peaked
00:40:19
at the trials and then you had like a few weeks you know um I don't know uh is
00:40:24
this fascinating anybody because to me it is I want to go back to the race for a second though what Josh Kerr said he
00:40:31
said the pace was so fast he said I went to sleep like he liter and he lost his hearing going out in 151 so I don't know
00:40:39
if you'd go into try to go did he did he mean he went into a Zone but he said it was so fast I just decided to go to
00:40:45
sleep and he's he's running 54 second Pace yeah there I mean you feel it for
00:40:53
sure but um I feel like his game plan which was pretty OB it's probably just
00:41:00
don't give you know inab briten anything not don't give him a centimeter and and
00:41:07
he could having that person and that race plan and in briten immediately going to the front he could probably
00:41:13
flip off his brain and uh yeah just his job was to not let him any
00:41:20
separation leading that race I mean for people don't understand I mean it does take more energy so you're kind of if
00:41:26
you're watch watching it you know iner britson is one of the all-time greats but you're like huh I've never seen him
00:41:33
do this it was a little warm little Breezy and it gets very lonely I don't care who you are up there you know in
00:41:40
the front yeah setting Pace yeah yeah exactly and
00:41:46
like I mean everyone is in agreement like it takes like a lot of balls to go and and do that with that caliber he's
00:41:54
kind of he's in a good way kind of crazy in a wonderful
00:42:00
way Cole are you allowed to wear any shoes you want I think as a regular person watching is it have to be a
00:42:06
certain brand or can you just say these are my favorite running shoes or do you have to switch to some Olympic shoes I'm
00:42:12
sponsored by Nikey um oh okay and that's what is that what it was
00:42:17
there yeah and so at the Olympics at least like Team USA is uh sponsored by
00:42:23
Nike um but they say you can wear what ever shoes you want oh that's good
00:42:28
that's good yeah they're not going to mess with everyone's little I thought they would I would be like oh my God
00:42:34
here's your shoes and you're like I like these old ones whatever they are that really work for me because it's so like
00:42:39
you said everything matters so you have to be comfortable you have to feel like you're running the right stuff okay
00:42:45
that's a good question that was a good question Spade that was really that was really good I have a question okay go go
00:42:50
ahead [Music]
00:43:00
this is another super dumb one why no no these are good because I'm the weeds the 400 the 800 and not the
00:43:08
1600 that's that is a good question because I myself had to look that up um
00:43:15
I I like that it does sound like an odd number because I didn't know what it was
00:43:20
I'm like how far is that it doesn't seem to evenly it it doesn't make sense the best answer I could find
00:43:28
was that they wanted to do yeah four laps but to start on a straight away but
00:43:36
the 800 doesn't do that the 400 so that really doesn't check out but that's the answer story we already had our fact
00:43:42
Checkers I know CU if you're born under the mile you're always trying to equivocate to a mile like or even a
00:43:50
metric mile be 1600 meters and I figured out the pace Co was going if you could have sustained it for another 100 meters
00:43:57
your sort of metric mile would have been like 340 or something something crazy you know what
00:44:05
happen to yards did they go away I mean is us the only one that cares about yards anymore because they really well
00:44:10
in the P Vault they go or high jump It's 2.6 41 I got to do on my phone that
00:44:16
doesn't sound High to me 2.6 something I want to hear is 8 feet you know that's
00:44:22
not even three whatevers you know yeah hate the metric system yeah and they go
00:44:28
it's gonna catch on but that was in sixth grade so it hasn't quite got on here but I guess walls are closing in
00:44:34
yeah Olympics America don't don't play um okay my next question is
00:44:43
yeah okay so you're famous for your kick so I'm trying to think the equation yeah
00:44:49
why there there's the mental emotional part there's maybe fat maybe just like
00:44:54
say you guys ran a 50- yard dash you you four the big four you'd probably win
00:44:59
that just the quickest fast twitch fiber like in just a fresh 50 yard dash you would destroy iner
00:45:07
britson you're trying to set me up for a head we just need you to say that say it
00:45:13
very clearly I wasn't that's my sense of humor but I assume you have foot speed
00:45:18
but then you also have to have the V2 engine um and then the part that's kind
00:45:23
of at least in high school it would be sort of emotional or a little bit angry not at any particular thing or the
00:45:30
universe but just like [ __ ] this you know cuz you're really in pain and you
00:45:35
want to get to the Finish Line anyway but I don't know how just talk about what makes someone have a kick like
00:45:42
yours what what is the magic is there anything to it or just it mostly just I want a kick yeah I I think like going
00:45:50
back and seeing my form kind of develop it's been
00:45:55
pretty telling like mhm the goal for so many races that my coach or the plan I
00:46:03
guess is just to be there with 200 100 meters um because you know I found out
00:46:08
and my coach has found out that I'm I'm gonna do anything I'm gonna turn my form
00:46:13
to [ __ ] if I have to just to get to line first which is not ideal but if you look
00:46:19
at my high school videos and my college videos even a finishing a race you know
00:46:24
my form's all over the place I'm going side to side and and the idea is to keep everything moving straight forward and
00:46:31
um like just seeing that tells me I don't know something in my brain flips
00:46:36
where I'll do anything to in my power to get there and as I've gotten stronger and fitter my form has followed and I've
00:46:44
been able to stay you know aligned and that's also you know helps you go faster if you can do that I do think that and I
00:46:51
observed that myself because I watched the race a few times and Inger britson has his certain form and Josh and you
00:46:58
have your certain form but then I do think it's okay in the last 10 or 15 meters to kind of go a little crazy and
00:47:06
even go outside your Zone a little bit because it seemed like that you and ker were just neck and neck and then okay
00:47:13
and then you just kind of ran in a different way you just it was you know it's almost like I have to get to the
00:47:20
line first and k stayed in his great form INR britson incredible running form
00:47:27
I think that's part of part of the secret of being willing maybe the last 10 meters just to like go a little crazy
00:47:34
don't worry about your form just get there first you know yeah yeah I think there's something to that and you can
00:47:40
even see you know the other American yard in a goose he yeah I mean his form
00:47:47
it like he's fluid and looks looks good in the race but when it comes down to the last 10 meters he's got something
00:47:54
where he can thrust his body for or whatever and he's always been able to just like get those last 5 10 met and he
00:48:01
almost got silver doing that so like yeah both those guys keep in really good form or actually losing ground you know
00:48:08
compared to me and yeah you guys just went kind of crazy and yeah he how much did you win by a billionth of a second
00:48:16
was it no you actually hady pretty small this Olympics it's been pretty small a lot of these what was the uh second
00:48:22
place um I'm I'm not sure on the 80 327
00:48:27
80 and you were 6 he doesn't deal with second place yeah we just call
00:48:35
it notal place you mean the non-old Medalist you're talking ask me a
00:48:40
question about the non-old medalists in this you're gonna have to call someone else yeah uh what what is um and this is
00:48:47
off the off the uh subject but I stupidly thought Olympic Village is like the as big as a Motel 6 but it's got to
00:48:54
be huge like there's so many people like where how big is that housing and are there [Music]
00:49:01
rules it blew me away like because I figured this out and I went to Tokyo as
00:49:06
well and I had no concept of yeah I thought it would be like kind of a couple hotels a hotel I didn't don't
00:49:13
even think about it yeah yeah but these it seems like it's the same like almost
00:49:18
copy and pasted what they they have it figured out to where they throw up these buildings and they're like the most bare
00:49:24
bone apartment building right yeah you sleep on pizza boxes is that true yeah that's true yeah I think
00:49:33
there's 10,000 athletes in total so imagining yeah like it is like there's
00:49:40
at least 10 buildings that are each you know like oh that's way more
00:49:46
than yeah so it is like a little village it's like a city no rules there's no
00:49:52
rules just get in there and show up at your race yeah I guess so much so how
00:49:58
long like you win the race you got the American flag and you're out there how long are you kind of out there did you
00:50:04
do a full Victory lap or you and nus I how did that you know all how long are
00:50:10
you out there celebrating with the flag yeah that that's actually a really good question because I finished the race and
00:50:18
it's you know you you don't prepare for after that yeah you're not
00:50:25
yeah I know and so like I was running around and uh
00:50:32
luckily yeah yeah and there is a I figure this out that there is like a
00:50:38
Handler that's his job is to see the the top three and and tell them what to do
00:50:43
and you know luckily the first people I saw were like like some of my best
00:50:49
friends from college and they actually had the American flag and somehow I I found them because they were going crazy
00:50:54
waving it and I went over there and got that and then yeah this guy directed me he's like you can go this way and then I
00:51:01
started going too far and they're like whoa whoa whoa I was going into the long jump area
00:51:10
neighborhood I didn't get to do a full Victory lap just like the he goes too much too much too much too much well I
00:51:18
always wondered that they always R we know you want to race now get in the [ __ ] tunnel they find a flag I'm like
00:51:25
is there a vending machine or is or just someone that's assigned to hand you a flag or the little ones go but the
00:51:30
little ones are nice even get a little baby one get a pin you got a little pin your way anything and you and Jared AR
00:51:37
you know sharing it kind of but he was sort of hogging it you had to pull it away just made that
00:51:44
up yeah there there is usually a like USA Track and Field person whose job
00:51:50
that is um and I'm I think they wanted me to go to them but again I wasn't
00:51:56
really thinking in that moment and just went to my my buddies that I saw waving the flag and you know luckily it was
00:52:02
like it was super high they said they went on this whole Excursion to find me like a super high quality flag just in
00:52:08
case there would be in that moment uh yeah if not they just leave it in the
00:52:14
seats at the bottom they forget about it they're like oh he didn't win what do we do with thisa happens a lot but no that that
00:52:22
shows that they knew you were a dark cours you were you were a contender we're getting the flag
00:52:28
for cold you know because they're Believers that this could no exactly so
00:52:34
did you did you cry because the Olympics which I thought were amazing I don't much you watched after doing your I
00:52:40
thought they were extraordinary because of the emotion of all of it yeah so I I
00:52:45
I don't remember how you process that or when they played the national anthem and you and the flag goes up I mean just the
00:52:51
just speak to the emotionality what the hell you just went through and it was just a few days ago yeah yeah I I kept
00:53:01
kind of like waiting you know that night was everything was moving so fast and immediately after the race it's it's
00:53:07
hype and I'm you know not thinking about everything that went into it um and so
00:53:12
I'm just like hyper and like happy excited um then we go to the metal ceremony and I was kind of waiting like
00:53:20
like am I gonna am I going to get emotional and but not really uh on the on the
00:53:28
metal stand it was right after the race which not all the events did getting
00:53:33
them my medal and I was they weren't right after the race oh no a lot yeah
00:53:39
yeah yeah yeah so that was actually a cool thing they did that um but I was more concerned with they give the get
00:53:47
the tightest shot of your face if you're on the on the podium and I remember
00:53:53
seeing other athletes and I'm like they're so tight on their face and I got my buddy text me he's like he's like
00:53:59
decent shave job I don't think they could have gotten closer on your face je yeah but I was more concerned with that
00:54:06
than anything else try to look cool and proud exactly I'm like what what is the
00:54:14
correct what's the attitude you want to have yeah yeah do you want to be balling do you want to be that's right or soing
00:54:20
or just laughing your ass off yeah I'd say like the most the most
00:54:28
emotional I got actually was like I'm in the airport you know I I'm not actually didn't go back to the States yet because
00:54:34
believe it or not there's there's more track races which is crazy after the diamond League y exactly but I'm in the
00:54:41
airport by myself watching like like my high school had like a watch party and
00:54:47
my you know best friend neighbors had a watch party and I'm watching they have a video of their reaction and I'm like
00:54:54
that's that's when I kind of get emotional and I'm by myself it can actually process what I'm seeing and yeah pretty cool sure I
00:55:01
would say it's very normal when emotions are so extreme in the moment to kind of
00:55:07
I wouldn't say go numb but just sort of you you were you were sort of in shock uh too exactly yeah and what I wanted to
00:55:14
ask you just for yourself because what I observe is when the race was so brutal
00:55:20
and so violent and uh everyone went all out but you came through and it seemed
00:55:26
like you recovered just because of the emotion in like three seconds did you even go down your knees or anything I
00:55:32
mean I think you went through and like why don't you lay down yeah that's another thing I thought
00:55:38
of like after watching but it's just the way yeah it's almost always like that
00:55:44
where your adrenaline just can carry you and um I remember like me and my
00:55:50
teammates always talk about how you can tell someone's Fitness by the postrace interviews I didn't get interviewed
00:55:56
immediately on the track but if someone's really fit it'll be two minutes after the race and they'll have
00:56:02
caught their breath it just like oh wow shows the fitness that you have to be at to be at this level that's part of it
00:56:08
and the other part is just like yeah crazy amount of adrenaline but but just winning the
00:56:13
winners seem to always kind of recover faster yeah you know yeah yeah
00:56:21
exactly anything else for this young man who uh oh by the way what did you say
00:56:26
are what did that stand for by the way personal record personal record okay can you tell every story again now cuz now
00:56:33
that I know start again a PR um I was just curious these are random things
00:56:39
have you watched C pre Fontaine was this iconic and if you go to if you're in the Borman track Bowman Track Club at Oregon
00:56:46
you know all about them I'm I'm sure you've watched the p uh the 5K from
00:56:51
Munich where Prefontaine who's 21 you're 23 runs the most charismatic and
00:56:57
Reckless 5K in history um have you watched that with British announcers
00:57:04
okay I watch it at least a few times a year I I don't even know how to make sense of it other than Prefontaine he
00:57:12
just ran I don't know he spent so much energy passing he start tried to break the
00:57:18
world he's sprinting he's coming back he's taking the lead I mean and now you've done a race that people are going
00:57:24
to look at you know it just sort of the world's strange how things happen you know yeah yeah absolutely yeah I mean
00:57:33
there's a reason if if you follow track you've heard of preon he just yeah raced
00:57:38
like with passion as as cheesy as that sounds but you're just like this is what
00:57:43
I'm gonna do and if if it works then I'm gonna know I gave it everything and if
00:57:49
it doesn't then it's the same yeah and the British announcers and the British
00:57:55
announcers were much better at the Olympics here in America or there was a British announcer but for pre Fontaine
00:58:01
when it's the last 50 meters and he's kind of dying the British announcer literally says and the chunky American
00:58:08
is completely bankrupt what a great the chunky
00:58:13
American is completely bankrupt that he'd hit that wall um and then you look at it later go what what a brave race it
00:58:20
was and so such a badass race even though he took fourth he kind of won the
00:58:26
moment you know somehow but anyway that's very inspiring but I just want to ask you one more question why did you
00:58:31
agree cuz when you won won the race they said who can we have a Superfly can we can we uh Get Timothy sham no can we get
00:58:38
Cole Hawker and I thought it would be a joke like there's no way you were gonna be a have the time or the energy or I've
00:58:45
ever heard of these two old guys but anyway thanks for coming on and why did you say yes yeah yeah well yeah I want
00:58:51
to let you guys know that I'm also a fan of both of you and uh I mean I've watched SNL and all the backlog stuff I
00:59:01
guess but grew up watching backlog have you seen Wayne's World at
00:59:06
least or show dirt I have yes I have actually oh good yeah I'm actually yeah
00:59:13
I'm a pretty big comedy fan funny enough so yeah my agent sent me sent me this
00:59:18
and he was like this this pretty cool and unique and that's crazy so yeah of
00:59:23
course thank you buddy yeah well we love it it was great seeing you Dan call me and said you got to watch this race I flipped it on I was like holy [ __ ] this
00:59:29
guy uh yeah you're very charming and you're humble and you're 23 um so I guess stay healthy and we're
00:59:37
going to get to watch we have um you know four or five great 1500 meter and
00:59:43
don't get me started on Hobs Kessler who's 21 we just have an amazing we had three of the top five we just have some
00:59:50
amazing um epic battles to to go and you have to do them and go through all the pain and we get to watch but it's uh I
00:59:58
you're still inspired and enjoying the sport and you're looking forward yeah cuz 23 is very you're not even in your
01:00:04
prime time yeah we're not in our Prime either you're entering the Golden Age
01:00:10
yet H anyway so thank you so much for coming on and I'll be watching the U the
01:00:16
diamond leagues good luck on those yeah thank you very much yeah thanks again for having me keep up the good
01:00:23
work this has been a presentation of a Superfly is executive produced by Dana
01:00:28
Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holzman hope you liked it
01:00:37
[Music]
