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[Music] would you host it I would co-host it with you let's put our hat in the ring we work cheap you can tell by the set I think you do don't get paid much to no
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you don't get paid to host Saturday Night Live you actually have to write Laur a check uh that'll be $1,300 I take
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Bitcoin thank you thank you Jennifer Lopez you have to say my [Music] name I'm gonna start with a joke just
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for F this just this kills really hard and it's a little Politically Incorrect in my act this Barack Obama giving a
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little talk to Fourth Graders teach them lessons he uses nursy Rhymes Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pil of water Jack looked at Jill and Jill
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looked at Jack Jill said I'd like to be a jack too so Jack and Jack came down the hill it's a teachable moment
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Michelle there we go it's a pretty good joke it's a little edgy these two progressives loved it two
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prog oh yeah we have everyone represented we're not Republicans Or democrats we're regressives that's our new name regres
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yeah we can't understand the news we don't know what's going on this is David reading like w Wall Street Journal
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Online what is it what's going on I don't understand too many big words put it in real that's my best impression
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yeah I know I was like is that me I guess the idea was right that is what I do I'm notat a genius uh but tell them
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about the new studio secret genius he says well we should say that we're in a different location yeah and um normally we're spread around North America
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sometimes I'm in Winnipeg you never know but today we're at a literal bunker somewhere undisclosed in Southern California yeah and um um spent a couple
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shekels deeped into the coin first and the company that does the podcast is technically bankrupt they're in chapter 11,000 they're bankrupt but they're generous and they passed the hat around
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the office and so we got these for $39 at the dollar store so let's let me see so Dana we're
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in the studio where's our camera I don't even know 17 I think this one's mine what one should we look at just me and
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David talking to our audience that one in the middle below the frame all right no is that is that the wide shot and
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that's me folks folks come on I like this one better come on we could look over here look over there there lot of
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cameras all right before I get into uh my bre oh I'll tell you about my breakfast first all right here we are
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we're starting take five hey David um how was your breakfast over the weekend that's a great question I so I got ambushed to breakfast and this happens
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sometimes to everybody I sit in the back of the restaurant facing the wall and I'm reading the paper and physically eating so a guy comes around he goes hey
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um I don't want to bug you fine bugging me but that that that's what everyone starts with they don't really mean to
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but that's just I hate I hate to bother you it kills me nothing I hate worse and
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bothering you I go it seems like it's going easily for you so far the thing I hate most is bothering you it seems like
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you're doing than you hate and I know you're eating and I'm literally eating like fourk up not like I'm sitting I'm
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literally eating and I go H and he goes if I could give you a pitch for is there any way I can pitch you a movie for 30
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seconds it's about a guy now that was sort of rhetorical he kind of ran over my right yes or no yeah he's he's ahead
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of you you know what I mean he goes yeah he's all he's all he's one step ahead of you so I so I sit there with my fork and
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uh and then he this is how he starts it thing listen by the way I'm a good guy I'm also a Leo
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I happen to know you're a Leo we're both Leos so we're on pretty solid ground right now and you still have your fork
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up here with on I'm like this going it's getting weaker you're Frozen you got your arm CU I have weak traps and clavicles and I'm like this yeah so
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you're you're literally in pain going like this listening to this egg heavy has chopped pepper on it heavier egg
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heavy cannot listen to idiot anymore can't figure out how long this will be going it won't be 30 seconds for sure so go ahead so then he goes so we're both Leos I know that cuz I I know they're
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the Lions I'm a great guy and then he starts now as he's as he's blistering you know he's like
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BL um pontificating to this stupid [ __ ] bloviating is the word I'm looking for all I can think of is This
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is how you start your foundation on a professional career with someone in acting yeah not I'm a great producer not
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I've done this in this movie not I'm a great writer it's we're both Leos that's your foundation and by the way all I
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could think of was I'm not a Leo and so I go we're already [ __ ] everything else doesn't matter now I'm not and I'm a Cancer and I'm getting crabby because you're cancer what are we doing now I'm
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this was your main credit is that you're a Leo no other credits were mentioned and then at the end I'm thinking what if
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I on a set do I want a good script writer or do I want a guy shutting down the set because Jupiter's in Purple
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Haze astrology you an astrologist on the set or do I want someone that's good at their job what what what happens you
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beat them up well the thing is you know this data that when we're ever since SNL
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days you can't read an idea for a script you can't hear an idea for a movie because if you ever down the line do something like that you will you could be sued because they go oh that was mine
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yeah you take it six years later I had a rra it in my script and then you're your handcuffed and taken away what I we're
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getting fix on Dana what's going on not don't go too tight yeah let's pull back how about Cleveland this Evan the tight
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shot guy he likes to crank down on guys who remember Kennedy versus Nixon all right this thing is going to look like the zuder film is so blurry but you know the the low social IQ of that guy
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because I was once in the early days I saw Bob Dylan on the streets of Manhattan and uh I'm thinking I should go over there and you know talk Dylan you and then I thought don't know he's
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just Bob Dylan you know he doesn't look like he wants to be bothered so I just went up there excuse me m Mr Dylan I'm
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your biggest fan go are you I don't think you're really my biggest fan I go why do you sound like Norm
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McDonald and that was the weirdest thing years later I met Norm he's like talking like that I go you sound like Bob
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Dylan I guess we can cut that no we okay no I like that one no I can't I was I actually did run into Springsteen at one point jogging in the park boom watch out where you're going I got my good cowboy
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boot on I'm going to run around the reservoir he's running in his Cowboy Bo yeah get cuz I'm Bruce pron I grew up in
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New Jersey but I know a cow when I see one can you do anything about that under bite why would I it's my signature do
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your jaw hurt all the [ __ ] time wearing a bite plate 24/7 not doing [ __ ] why are we [ __ ] on I know I like let's get to these Oscars what are we do let's get to these self congratulatory
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dandies who cares about the next movie I'm shooting with Leo guy uh wait a minute you're shooting a movie with
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theovon no the guy at the [ __ ] Leo that said he's a Leo oh the Leo the Theo the the wheel I can't keep track of their stories Leo Von so Oscars were
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last night highlights for me Oscars were not last night Oscars were the other night Oscars were six months ago but we we needed to contemplate yeah I we need
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to contemplate so I liked um Ryan Gosling Ken song I thought he was funny yes I thought that was good I like there
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was a go ahead Spielberg getting laughs with cutaways that was funny right yeah that was good yep that's it there's a there's a meme out now that apparently
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Putin watched the some of the Oscars and he he went nuts for I am Ken no he did he's literally kind of giggling in the it's on it's an Instagram or [Music]
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something I really was laughing at Ryan Gosling he keeps singing I am Ken what does it mean we know his name is Ken it's so
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funny it went on for a long time but it was pretty funny this message was brought to you by Vladimir Putin I love fly on the wall
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blue ending he brought Barbie into to it when he went in the crowd Barbie Barbie you know they always say who wore it best you know the women come out and God
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bless them all I don't judge look at me who wore it best last night it should have said who wore it least these are
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the skimpiest outfits I've ever seen BR the put on bra panty sheer thing over and walk around I mean what the what's going on women in the audience hey peanut gallery Chris we've run out of
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ideas on what to wear did you think it was especially sort of Less cloes on the red carpet or no well it's in it's a trending thing right now where you were see-through like lace number with
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underwear underneath it yeah and so why do you think it is trending I like the trends uh that I don't know maybe well it's young people another thing too have you
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noticed yeah I walked up behind one of those young ladies Anita and she had a I'm 100% see- through with uh basically just
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thunderpants and um I didn't know that was her I didn't know she was but the front was fully see-through so I didn't
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even look but I saw a picture today and I thought but you know I did see I went out after and I went by a party and I saw I would say the girls the women all
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look gorgeous I noticed that and I wouldn't say there's plastic surgery I would say that with makeup and slick back hair and things there was a lot I
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didn't know who they were at first gland I'd have to someone said that's blah blah and I go oh I even saw Kim K when I
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was going to get my drink and I said hi and I was like oh okay that's her because I couldn't right off the bat
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tell everybody who they were not that they're I'm saying again not that they're like plastic it just they look
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different they make their makeup different and it takes you a second everyone looked great though there's
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everyone looked great I think having Alpac know you have an 83-year-old man who's going to announce the last award
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and there's an open bar uh it's a shark going in the water cage going in the no I love alcino he just should have done the whole thing if he had just said
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if he had just picked up the envelope and screamed say to my little friend he would have brought down the house oh my God why if I was there I would said Al just say did you know that he's dating a
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very young woman I guess they had a baby and they courtship was him showing her his movie so he showed her Scarface and that's when she fell in love with him [ __ ] I would too that's a good I would
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say that I wouldn't open with that one oh he's got Godfather too that's pretty good yeah you can follow it uh what else
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did I like what alcino comes out he goes and Now's the Time Oppenheimer everyone goes what's what's
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going on he jumped the gun of hair did you see that I I know he said he says I'm seen
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Oppenheimer like it was a crystal ball I'm seeing Oppenheimer so we were like was it is this a joke what's going on uh
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Paul McCartney did a little Instagram congratulate Oppenheimer what did it go like what was
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it like what do you mean you expect me what are you expect if you hadine up in Homer
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you know it's a great film it's SP a big bomb you know and they're up in the desert they're like how do we make it
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maybe put here put there we don't know pretty soon they thought it could be a bigan it could be a bigon so they put it
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on a big wooden thing and they're like 10 ft away they said we better get back could be even bigger and they went dinga
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and this big old mushroom clown but it's not full of mushrooms like the told your mom used to make you it's an atomic bom
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if I'm boming in this room I'm bing up there that was all on one instagram meme it was one instagram well Putin Putin and he were you know they were FaceTiming during the Oscars but anyway
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well I will say that I didn't catch why is Evan on my shot for 20 minutes cuz he's he's baffled what are you trying to do take me back to 60 what where should I look at he put you he's like 55 you
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want me here you want me there am okay all right on a serious note what did you like about the Oscars well I didn't know all of it I didn't see all of it uh I just this isar um I did run into Jason
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no Justin uh I saw Jason baitman but JJ Abrams uh says say hi to you and uh we're very good friends yes he was very I have celebrity friends very nice you know without it sounds like name
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dropping but honestly you go to those parties and there's literally almost no plus one so when you go in every person
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you turn to you would know from something so it's just a matter of I only stayed an hour at one and an hour
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at the other because it was too much overload it's like de d d so uh some of the fun ones I'm trying to think of what would be fun to tell it was there's not that many exciting things that happened
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other than uh you know you have to walk in as a solo this is really the point when you don't have a plus one yeah you
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have to latch are you talking about Vanity Fair Fair is the first one the big one and then there was an after uh
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party gu Who series so I an Afterparty for me God that [ __ ] time change helped me because that was you got a free hour it was a little earlier than
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it was in a real you know I'm saying that's funny yeah do you write that down on a notepad you know good time to go to parties oh my God it just fell into
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place it's like New Year's Eve I'm when am I going to stay up till that late so the first one I stayed in only an hour
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but I ran to Jason baitman as the first person I saw now that's just a crap shoot who are you going to see right when you walk in um and then there was a
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little gaggle of dudes that came and just talked and then uh and then I saw oh they said Sharon Stone was there I
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went looking for her because she just did fly in the wall yo no SNS when is Sharon Stone on SNS is
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on it'll be already on oh it's week after okay she's coming up and I wanted to say hi to her uh but mostly I saw some of the skimpy outfits like they
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were saying and uh and people would explain who that person was and goddamn anybody oh I saw Robert Craft and I asked him about the big trade with ma
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Jones right that's a sports story yeah uh he runs the Patriots so that was sort of off the beaten path off the normal people see oh uh the second party you
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know what's funny is being at a party where everyone's um pretty well known and you walk by uh Travis and Taylor and
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how it's it's really there's an aura like there's a literal sound it's the only place where people weren't flipping
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the [ __ ] out did that happen that did happen they were at gu Ser look at oh yeah here's me and Taylor Swift when
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this is last night I tell you this no this is weeks ago um now you look different one time you look great I went to this uh Grammy party and they seat
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you wherever and then they and then she was sat next to me and then she was more
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newer on the scene and she had done Ellen and Ellen said go take pictures are the sunglasses throwing you off
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because I have other glasses okay he's quitting camera work he's just quitting and he's packing up well the camera is
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rebelling against my face the camera is just shutting itself off will not camera
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I will not too old too much stuff to think about I am cutting myself off you literally took off your whole closeup
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and started over yeah he's starting over with a special lens smeared in mayonnaise we G to shoot it through a shower curtain do you know that I was invite invited to the Vanity Fair party
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oh there's another one oh there they are first ever to do duck Clips I'm saying it I used to always do duck Clips in SNL
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old days days I didn't I did awkward didn't know what to say this is just your hand on back I didn't mean to I was
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just trying to take a the picture but she was going around taking pictures and I would say like oh that's like Dave Gro
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go take a picture with her because she was newer and she was very nice and she that was like there was a whole table
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there but you can only see us but I was uh remembered oh yeah I did meet Taylor Swift in the old days at that point I
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remember you you told me you met her and she only knew one chord in the guitar that's how young she was but she got
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really good uh that was a joke you know what I was invited to the VY Fair party 20 years in
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a row with the white envelope everything and I never answered and I never went and then I was down here once I go well
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maybe I'll go this year no invite oh the one time I swear to God 20 years in a row would you have gone when the Oscars were last week when I went when I went to the
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Oscars Mike Myers invited me we did Wayne's World yeah um we're there with all the really cool people Mike stuff you go you go to the VY Fair party and my wife and I had to
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go we we don't have a invite and they go you don't no and so I was going to go there and go I don't really have an invite have some guy like uh sorry you gotta move move along no you should go I
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mean I think you could have gone last night but uh they also people say like oh I'm no you could have gotten in if
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you would have just asked um they say oh I I remember someone complaining I was in this
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movie and I did even get invited to the Oscars and and the movie was nominated but I have to say it's so tight in that
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room they they have to have really just the stars and the producers and the director
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right right there's too many people and too many movies now the the parties would probably be a safer bet to get
00:18:44
into you know um it just turned into a blast I mean last night was fun um I didn't see I didn't talk to Kelsey even though we did have Jason on I could not walk up to them even though they're just
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hanging out because it felt toir could have the only way you could have is that you just interviewed Jason yeah and she
00:19:03
could have go uh you had some kind of weird things to say about you we trimmed him just want to let you know he's got a
00:19:09
couple brother guys why do you hate each other and maybe I'm speaking I mean you know my nightmare is your dream like for
00:19:16
me to go and have 3,000 Small Talk conversations if it's an intimate party with like six people but when it's just what's up how you doing working good good good good were you there that's
00:19:31
what I said yeah David Spade you still doing that podcast with the church sty guy hey good job no kind of funny I most
00:19:40
of it's that but if you find someone you know then it's funnier the the second party I was in the kitchen eating
00:19:46
shockingly with four people so that was just fun us four laughing and that's perfect and you know the thing about like these two like Travis and whoever everybody anybody there is always hard
00:19:58
to walk up to people that are already talking because people do it to me you're in something and people just grab
00:20:03
you and I feel it's rude so unless someone's just floating by it's hard to walk up and interrupt unless it's
00:20:09
someone I really really know well you know what I mean well I yes of course I would your social iq's you got it you
00:20:17
can feel the radar you can feel the radar you're a stand up you can feel when the crowd is turning on you which
00:20:23
no offense but happens on a regular basis and you know how to that was a joke I know I looked right at the camera
00:20:29
he kills I just feel like what if I went there I would fake I was in a lot of movies oh yeah I was in Oppenheimer
00:20:36
right before I was the guy with the binoculars mhm anatomy of fall you got it I was the carpenter near the dumpster
00:20:43
so you just say you're movies and no one can really know Barbie I was driver number three in the yellow car you know
00:20:51
um you saw me right behind Margo Robbie right when she was going into the bank you can just say I was like Barbie's
00:20:57
first one night nightst I my whole thing got cut uh but I shot for seven weeks M
00:21:03
um didn't test well my sister had a Barbie doll and that got pass passed around by about Jimmy says by the
00:21:09
brothers Jimmy said oh Barbie um no one wants a Barbie doll anymore remember he said in his monologue I was like Jimmy was Jimmy was he had a couple cutting jokes he was he was kind of edging out
00:21:22
there yeah I kind of I like some of that think hopefully he's got at least 150 tucked and maybe he's two years out the
00:21:28
door he always says he's he's doing just fine because I get it yeah I always follow the money Ryan Jing Gosling was
00:21:34
so relaxed he has 300 million net and he's a movie star for 20 years yeah I'd be laying down it felt like it was nothing to him you
00:21:41
[Music] know would you host it I would co-host it with you let's put our hat in the
00:21:53
ring we work cheap you can tell by the set I think you do don't get paid much do it anyway no you don't get paid to
00:21:59
host Saturday Night Live you actually have to write Lauren a check oh that'll be $1,300 I take Bitcoin thank you thank
00:22:07
you Jennifer Lopez do you have to say my name where you putting the check uh okay let's move on to and that is our Oscar J well I want to thank
00:22:18
people for on YouTube I read all the comments and oh very positive about about Superfly so far and if they're
00:22:25
negative easily blocked but it's so so far it's been very positive yeah I don't I've never read a comment about anything
00:22:32
I get information from you because I'm too sensitive and if I saw a negative comment I would crawl up in a ball and
00:22:38
start solving so I avoid I comments get angry about I I and people say it doesn't affect you but it does uh and so
00:22:45
oh I did want to talk we're going to do some headlines but without being political that State of the Union was
00:22:51
last week okay no I'm just I'm saying we're not going to be political yes State of
00:22:56
the Union Yes I did think it was funny that Joe Biden the president is that his Joe Biden he um he just came out of that Cannon I mean he popped out
00:23:08
of the toaster he was I I just want whatever he was having because I get tired in the afternoon and Jack me up jacked and Juiced and ready to go I
00:23:18
thought he'd be running around that chamber going parkour parkour just like bouncing off the wall well you know what
00:23:24
I I don't know what they gave him or whether it was just a lot of rest and some prote but maybe backstage isn't
00:23:30
going uh Mr President uh this is uh this is for you oh what is it uh we call it a
00:23:36
state of the union oh sure take a state of the union before I do the State of Union oh sir they put it in a Biscuit
00:23:43
like a dog and three minutes later and I getting my [ __ ] because normally [ __ ]
00:23:50
you all cut they actually cut the State of the Union cuz he's like the old man on the lawn he's still
00:23:56
there yeah cut it then they then I guess uh what's her name Mary Taylor green what's the good one was Indie 500 with the yeah she looked like NASCAR she was
00:24:07
my favorite it's a freak Show the Republic's ending soon so anyway save your money or Bitcoin I guess at the
00:24:14
beginning on on his regular speeches they usually have come a guy walk out and go let's get ready to mumble and
00:24:20
then he comes out but on this one he's like he was all jacked up he's like and I'm also hornier than a three pecker billy goat my dick's harder than Chinese arithmetic and everyone's like okay well
00:24:32
let's just stick to the cards where and he goes I just got to stick I haven't felt like this in a while and I'm like
00:24:38
give me some no no Bust It Out break FL can I get another state of the union here you go he's micro joking was he
00:24:44
what do you think he's sming what do we really think it was I heard riddlin is a alleged possibility I don't know if it's
00:24:50
rlin please send your letters elsewhere but Ridin would give someone a little pop a little pop room you have a little
00:24:56
Ridin with a a silver back monkey up with a Twist and uh little dackery no no but the problem was the next day he was yelling and it
00:25:09
was very awkward still going yeah he was at he was at of basket Robin ice cream store I have a jok on fudge excuse me sir you don't have to yell I yell the
00:25:20
State of the Union hasn't worn off and he Shadow Boxing he spits it come on Jake Paul I'm next I'll beat the
00:25:28
hell out of you come on Jack I'll beat you and your whole family I'll beat the sh I don't know look it's a freak Show
00:25:35
let's just say it we have an election coming up he breaks a stir stick you like that [ __ ] it's more where that came
00:25:42
from hustle I'll cut a [ __ ] and that was to Jill he takes Jill's like Jo slow down takes the broken uh little wooden stick and he said he'll cut a [ __ ] with that the S yeah I I'll c a [ __ ] you
00:25:56
like that [ __ ] but let's get in backstage get in backstage did I do this before because it makes me it made me
00:26:02
happy when I found out you saw Nicholas Cage of the Oscars hey that they lease Nicholas Cage they pay him to come
00:26:08
backstage when Biden gives a speech and he sort of like calms down he's like an anxiety person because when bid's out
00:26:15
there and the people are backstage they go he's going off script he's going off the prompter he's going off the prompter and then Nicholas Cage knows at that
00:26:22
moment to calm the staff down and goes why God why and that has lowered the anxiety of the staff it feels like it's working someone said did you hear this I like he looks over there what
00:26:35
talk about well was back on the Oscars but weren't you stuck between Bradley Cooper and Lady
00:26:41
Gaga you told me there was a little like hand stuff going back and forth with them oh yeah well I had a view when they
00:26:48
were doing them in this Sky when they're singing the song shallows shallows in the
00:26:55
shallows because of exactly where I was sitting I could see right under the piano and there was just just a little some PL some loose hands under there
00:27:07
some in the shallow shallow in the shallow are this a few Oscars ago this is this is 20 this is pre pandemic 2018 if if you must know it
00:27:19
was during the movie um shallow no the movie they star a star yeah there's no uh no what was the movie he just did Bradley Cooper he didn't win [ __ ] I didn't say
00:27:32
it because I say it wrong I thought he was amazing in Maestro but you know what are you gonna do uh Paul gedy was
00:27:39
extraordinary he's a friend of the podcast we interviewed him okay here's what I heard and this is was on
00:27:45
something that Gatti who we had on here is wore you would know this the holdovers wore contacts to give him a
00:27:56
lazy eye and then Nicholas Gage goes I would have done that yes is that something real yes
00:28:03
yeah you can wear a contact that just looks like a lazy eye just put your eyeball down here it's like a just like
00:28:09
wearing a wow I don't know if I could do that that would weird me out too much look you know it's for their art I go
00:28:15
that would we me out meanwhile I'll be getting full plastic surgery in a week that doesn't scare me I had a little eye tuck over the weekend hence the shades I
00:28:22
had a little eye tuck so I just wear these for a couple days you know I like is when you go up to people the vity
00:28:27
fair party and they go and the first compliment is do you sleep on your face and I go why they you look like a pound
00:28:34
puppy I go what's that and they go don't Google it anyway how's tricks that was Lady Co puppies are how's tricks so Chris why don't you tell us what's going on oh yeah is there everybody's face is
00:28:46
different give us some Trends there's a lot of fillers I think going on and fat injections like Ryan Gosling handsome
00:28:54
but there's something or he's gained weight I don't I don't think he gain weight but there's a lot of he goes I
00:28:59
gain a lot of my weight in my cheek face exactly yeah I just I got a six-pack but up around these cheeks I got a cheek if
00:29:07
he's trying to be better looking I give up so they're either filling or they're taking fat out like um it's called Bal
00:29:13
fat removal you heard about that wait on the inside of your cheek they go in into your mouth and remove so that's you get
00:29:19
Hollow so you want a lot of women are doing that well men are doing it too so you get the like the that look I went
00:29:26
from horrified to booking appointment uh yeah I would I I would never do that do
00:29:32
you think we get like a double discount if we go together why don't we go on and try to literally look exactly like the
00:29:39
same person there you go I oh did I tell you I told you Dana I went to the airport in Santa Rosa and I and I was
00:29:46
where you did your special and it a great gig and did I already tell you this and when I walked through the guy
00:29:51
was like staring off into space and I didn't take my shoes off this remind you of a text really okay oh no I was just
00:29:59
hold on I just going to okay yeah no David it's fine I'll tell him his mom called all right okay that was my mom
00:30:06
that was my Mom calling to say you've told the story so I go through and the deputy dog
00:30:11
guys like this he's not even looking at me and he goes all right next and and it was the tiniest airport he goes take
00:30:17
your shoes off and I go oh I I think I'm in TSA I don't know and he goes well uh
00:30:24
are you over the years and I go am I what and he goes are you over the age of 75 and I said are you out of your [ __ ] mind
00:30:38
you didn't just say that and then everyone else say because everyone else is nice to me they get it and this guy I
00:30:45
go no I'm not he goes then you got to take them off are you [ __ ] take what off my shoes just just shoes I take your own
00:30:57
Underpants off no he said then take he said then take off that old mask and I go no no this is my face but I'm not he
00:31:05
literally said are you oh not under are you over 75 I got carded [ __ ] I got carded last week at R A buying a beer I can't believe I told the story because it's sickening uh I guess we'll show a
00:31:18
few um it's funny do you want to look what are we going to look at some stories headlines that we better get to something yeah we're [ __ ] we got I'd
00:31:25
call him two days ago okay we'll do a couple then w'll do it cuz we don't we already have a lot of [ __ ] M and I do
00:31:31
mean [ __ ] what is this oh this is so dumb I thought this was cute it's a it's a witch be Dana and it has it carries
00:31:39
sticks around it looks like a they call a witch it looks like a broomstick is that cool well I he flies
00:31:45
around I think my pretty yeah and then he goes I'm kidding it's just a stick I just little pretty and you little David Spade too I have a lot of B the Beek I
00:31:57
have a lot of B bits Jason's Trad them to the be beekeeper just a quick one oh you are you a witch bee first all he has a lot on his mind have the set up we've
00:32:08
got a lot of witch bees but I'll be keeping them all I don't discriminate it goes nowhere all right next oh Jason stra I do like that I
00:32:20
think it's kind of cute Co in [ __ ] cute news all right no no rush as the [ __ ]
00:32:28
bit is bombing miserable death jesz we're bombing in our own room what are we doing out what is this trend I this
00:32:33
my D magic toothbrush okay oh girls and I saw this last night I I complimented someone on their freckles and they go oh it's makeup I didn't even know people are putting fake freckles on his makeup well they're tattooing freckles on their
00:32:46
face too they're doing that oh like full tattoos where they stay yeah yeah Lord love a duck God I am over we
00:32:53
could be doing so much more you're 72 don't I just don't know if freckles are that [ __ ] great I mean I like them but not like we go back to me and Taylor Swift that's the only thing do you have
00:33:05
any freckles anywhere I have freckles yeah you have a lot of tattoos hether how many
00:33:12
roughly 53 okay that was higher than I thought 50 53 tatto you heard her right revealed um okay let me see this one I
00:33:25
thought was interesting what is a girl mooch oblig is a funny headline she started by holding a cardboard sign that says I need a husband and of course she's she's attractive so guys would
00:33:39
like apply didn't work but she got some money out of it so now she just does stuff flying me to Miami buy me a purse
00:33:45
she hangs out in front of Tiffany's as an experiment he says Hey buy me a purse are you rich and the guy immediately
00:33:51
puffs up and goes I do pretty good buy me a Chow bag and they [ __ ] do and so she's gotten videos of her guys just buy her hotel rooms chel I mean this is sort of an
00:34:02
underground hybrid hooker uh thing that's going on in La anyway but and it's really rampant it's not talked
00:34:08
about but we talk heart is it's something it's not really but it's why didn't she just go on only fans and make
00:34:15
a billion in her bedroom this is probably easier because she says she says she doesn't hook up with anyone
00:34:20
okay but um I feel like she's just Clowning dudes and they go along with it so there's really it's a victimless crime it's just embarrassing across the [Music]
00:34:39
board this is Larry Bubbles Brown famous comedian he's gonna call you and you're going to go over a red red that he wrote
00:34:46
okay yeah we go live rmany everybody everybody's listening to this Larry Bubbles Brown everybody yay how are you good good so you're on the
00:35:01
air crimey uh what is your question her crimey is from Dennis Miller crimey car yes we either every time I talk with you we either wind up talking like Dennis Miller or John
00:35:14
Wayne Christ sakes okay coming in cell phone heavy this is John Dennis well we love John Wayne because he's never afraid and we're so afraid of life right
00:35:27
yeah so he's the opposite of us yeah because there's a movie where he goes take down the submarine papy no duok I
00:35:34
can't take it down we're all gonna die I said take her down I like I missed those kind no fear
00:35:41
no fear all right here's here's a few he sounds better on the phone than we do in the real podcast by the way well thank
00:35:47
you Tim Cook go ahead this is red red neckies as written by and also Chris who our friend Chris re has one too red R NE as written by Larry bus Brown I'll do the best I can Larry I'll do the one at
00:35:59
a time I'm red rednecky the redneck comedian my therapist said I was passive aggressive so on the way out I kid a car
00:36:06
come and get some on the way out he laughs at it he's like not bad writing here's a good one I'm red rednecky the redneck
00:36:17
comedian took up golf shot 67 did much better on a second hole come and get some David like the golf red red necki is all over the place he's playing golf
00:36:28
um a red red neck he's a from the red neck redneck comedian Mama gave me a book on ADD couldn't finish it come and get some I only got to the first D I had
00:36:39
a addendum on that this red rednecky redneck comedian Mama me Mama gave me a book on add only read
00:36:47
one page couldn't stop thinking about cwad stew come on get some okay all right I like that punch up much
00:36:55
better I'm red red necki the redneck comedian told Mama I was going to donate my car to Charity she said rednecky
00:37:01
where you going to sleep come and get some it should be red oh he sleeps in the car it shouldn't be red NE I'm
00:37:08
breaking down each joke and clarifying okay how about this one I'm red rednecky the redneck comedian met a reuse woman on Tinder she gave me hermit crabs come and get
00:37:19
some okay that's a little that's a no it's a thinker and you're not used to thinking during red rednecky okay here's
00:37:26
a thinker I'm red red necki the redneck comedian told Mama one day I have a trophy wife she'll look like a moose come and get [Music]
00:37:37
some yeah okay all right these are a little more these are a little more thought out so we're not ready exactly
00:37:42
I'm red redneck redneck comedian my last girlfriend was a treasure so I B her come and get some okay good job are we
00:37:51
still going oh no now let's go here's Chris's joke Chris re wrote a red anyone anyone they're not reading them you're reading you want to read it okay you read it then okay I'm red rednecky the
00:38:02
redneck comedian I took my mama to the grocery store she picked up two Russ of potatoes and said these remind me of
00:38:07
your daddy's balls I said they're that big she said no just that dirty come and get some Chris and they cost 99 Cents I
00:38:19
know uh okay wellis oh Chris is the best yeah good job bubbles good job bubes you have any joke that you're doing you want to do for us
00:38:32
you don't have to put you on the spot one of your favorites to one of your best jokes one of my latest newer jokes
00:38:38
is uh I had to close out my account at the sperm bank it was getting zero [Laughter] interest I like it was getting zero
00:38:49
interest zero interest and then your catch thing is that's it that's f after every Jo does that and when Larry opens for you the
00:39:01
whole audience starts doing that yeah phelipe does it I I did when I was going to eighth grade I used to walk to school and there's like a um this bird and every time I'd walk by the tree
00:39:12
just go me like that he sound it like Edward G Robinson so I just started doing that forever now I don't know why but it seems to get laughs oh he gets laughs all right I have to I have to
00:39:24
tell the sound man cut the mic get them off get them off cut the light yeah if he kills get rid of him if Bobby Lee's
00:39:30
killing you get them off all right Larry well we're gonna go look at some Impressions Impressions so we're closing
00:39:37
out with Impressions we're already lar Bubbles Brown everybody all right J talk soon thanks e Greg easy easy let him
00:39:44
hang up the phone and then the guy comes on okay this the part we do Impressions we should ask for something next week
00:39:51
something else but we we'll do them for now okay so let's see here's one we don't know what the impression is but
00:39:57
we're going to watch it and analy we like Impressions superfly.com send an Impressions at Superfly ay.com AUD
00:40:09
okay what's up spoodle Dana um here's a character he's called a bitter blind guy and he's mad at everything bit blind
00:40:24
guys walking down the street Neighbors coming beautiful day isn't it how the [ __ ] would I [Applause]
00:40:34
know he folds up try if you want I'm actually blind so that helps a little bit oh I like it better leaving a burning building so there's a fire you
00:40:48
know alarm Sirens going off people are leaving and Helen's just [Music] hell leave I thought he's blind I thought he was gonna yell guys it smells like a fire is he really blind before
00:41:12
you annihilate him go ahead what I think uh I think so because he tried to disarm us by pretending he was blind he goes but oh I'm really blind yeah I really am the way he folded that
00:41:25
stick was pretty smooth too so must have done it obviously okay so we love him that's awesome I didn't get it so he
00:41:31
says I'm here's a blind guy walking by fire I thought the joke would be it's clearly a fire then he smells and goes
00:41:37
that's smoke you guys there's a fire but everyone knows because it's they see it he just put them blind that they would
00:41:44
just walk into the fire was that the it's they're just like ah I like the first one when he got mad yeah I understood it yeah okay what's next even
00:41:55
though we're going along hey guys uh thank you so much for everything you've done I I love you both immensely
00:42:06
uh thank you for the podcast and join me for a little theater of the Mind as we head to the 17th floor of 30 Rockefeller Plaza in the early 1990s on a Wednesday morning for a conversation with Adam
00:42:20
Sandler and Norma McDonald okay hey Norma Lauren said he wanted me to come up with something for update and the uh table reads in like an hour but I got one idea all right all right buddy
00:42:32
yeah show show me what you got there okay I think I'm going to come in there an old lady and I'm going to be wearing
00:42:37
a long wig and glasses and I'm going to talk to the children like this and then I'm going to start getting real crazy
00:42:44
and I'm going to lose my mind all children and everybody what do you think I don't know what you think that yeah I see I see what you're doing there with the with the Yellen and the wagon the
00:42:56
old lady and stuff uh I just don't think it's funny thank you that's just a shtick I
00:43:02
know they loved each other I know they were both hilarious thank you for clarifying
00:43:08
um that's just a stick uh yeah go ahead he was good I mean it was fine I mean Norm is
00:43:16
sort of an easier one it's Canadian but I do like his ending where he didn't like that's kind of I didn't see that
00:43:22
coming where he didn't like Adams right or his sketch Oh I thought I thought everyone does that character he kind of
00:43:30
went High which is good where yeah it's when he does those time sometimes he goes high that was a good ending I think
00:43:36
that's itday and any final thoughts are we okay 19 minutes of extra work that's not like us but thanks for watching we
00:43:43
won't make it any worse okay bye guys bye-bye this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Charlie
00:43:54
finan of Brill ENT Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked
00:44:02
[Music] it