00:00:00
here let's do a high five uh before we No you got to go backwards you got to get over to where my hand is fool what's wrong with your brain i'm not good oh my
00:00:12
god i can never do the weather hope hope we have a good hope good one hey wow sweet jeez i'm sorry i have giant hands i apologize no mine are
00:00:25
bigger look ah if you ever take a picture of your wiener really put it right in the camera like that you like that and then it looks normal size well I just want to
00:00:38
bet with Heather that you would say wienerally heather you owe me no listen i have
00:00:45
bigger fish to fry i'm going to start off with a story how I want to hear your story and you know what i'm not going to
00:00:50
try to sabotage you by interrupting you constantly okay i'll interrupt yours though okay ready all right here's what
00:00:58
happened all right I have a roller on the ground like this mhm for like my neck so I was laying on it in the middle of the day for no reason just to open up the excruciating pain I'm constantly
00:01:10
even though people in the comments feel free to poke at me it's fine you know I'm used to it i'm like Rudy you know i
00:01:17
take it i have so here I am laying there like this and then a a housekeeper that
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has been here for years comes in and she said "Uh she said "David um do you wear
00:01:30
a sleep mask at night?" And I said "No." "Why'd you find one?" She goes "No but do you wear pads on your eyes or something when you sleep?" And I go "No." Where is she going with this you
00:01:43
will never know because she goes "I think I know cuz I saw you on Jimmy Fallon and you look so puffy and your eyes are such big bags i thought oh my god what's going on
00:01:54
what did you say to me why would you jump to that from that why would I even connect that?" And I go "No I was fine."
00:02:01
And then she goes "Oh I just thought oh maybe you drank all night maybe you stayed up all night or maybe you haven't gone to bed in weeks." I go "No this
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is you're not exaggerating i'm not really exaggerating." And I go "No I didn't really do anything i had dinner
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with Nate and I went to bed." And she goes "Oh." And then it's not over we walk outside cuz it was kind of dim in my room we get in a light hallway and she goes "Oh there they are again." What
00:02:27
what are they the bags like it's Yeah like a magic trick oh hey like she went like that pulled them up i go "Yeah they're always here." And she goes "And then she's like like I'll mind my own
00:02:39
business now but then all day I'm like this." Well that literally we had Larry David on a couple weeks ago on our sister podcast and that literally could be a you know a curb episode the
00:02:54
overfamiliar housekeeper is very personal are you going you going to wear those jeans we had a one who spoke
00:03:01
mostly Spanish i don't know if um your housekeeper Yeah she can do both in California she can't She can't she can't
00:03:13
well I quick fix i visited you a lot over there and and you know I'd run into the hallway and stuff and she'd go "Huh do you put a nice cold compress on
00:03:25
underneath your eyes cuz you don't have anything going on?" No she No no no she says "Is Dana okay?" And I go "Why?" She
00:03:32
goes "Just want to know if he's okay cuz I just took a glance at him it's probably not my business." I go "Oh it's
00:03:38
100% not." And she goes "I just wonder cuz his hair is a little frizzy today." Oh maybe she's lost her calling she should be a life coach no sometimes
00:03:49
she goes like this your your shirt is a little wrinkly so but you this is what you wore and you picked to wear and I go "Mhm."
00:04:01
Okay well we I'm kind of disorganized you may have noticed and um Well your house looks like a mess behind you well yeah I know this well I I am I'm under
00:04:13
house arrest so this is honestly obviously I'm wearing an ankle thing i can't leave this room i mean no one
00:04:20
would try to you know the thing about this though some people said "Oh it's not good to have a door." But I feel
00:04:26
like it's kind of like tension like is something going to come through that door sure you know what I mean
00:04:32
everyone's thinking that in the comments but sometimes when I was foolish I had a little extra shuckles in my pocket and I
00:04:38
go to the jeans i didn't really a lot of times my pants would go into the laundry
00:04:46
with lots of 20s and tens in the pocket thousands and then they go through the dryer and then so I'd go down there and she would she's incredibly sweet totally honest she would line them up on top of
00:04:59
the dryer like all these dollar bills or whatever oh you want to know weirder spade when I was probably 11 or 12 I would get all my
00:05:10
money obviously bored dad's gone what do I do so I I would take the spritzer from
00:05:16
the iron and I'd go on them and then I would iron them and I'd spray a little water on them iron them flat i liked them nice and crispy and then if that wasn't weird enough by the way should
00:05:27
have been an insane asylum then I'd go to the top of the stairs i'd let them go and they go all the way to the front door is that
00:05:35
crazy and Brian would walk in d grab one yeah i was I was a bus boy and I'd get paid you know maybe 10 bucks so they just came out crunkly crinkly and I just throw them in a basket and everyone
00:05:48
thought I had a lot of money but it was all ones it was like $60 mhm do you want to hear about my travel yeah let's hear about your travel while we got I'll just go through them here here
00:05:59
we go going to Chicago with my wife so we go to the airport because we have our cars and Chicago what's it What's the
00:06:06
real pronunciation i think you said Chicago chicago i call it Chicago okay so we get to the airport flight's getting We're getting a little late and we go round and round and round and round and round in the parking garage
00:06:18
she's following me long story short there's no parking unless you park where electric cars could park now I This LAX I'm sorry I'm interrupting on your way there okay we drove there and then we
00:06:31
went into the parking garage next to United and every single thing was taken except there were some open if you had
00:06:37
an electric car now I have a hybrid my wife has a regular car just a dirty car um a Volvo but so we just decided we're going to park and it said $250 minimum a
00:06:50
a day so we thought we'd come back either with them towed or like a $5,000 bill but they were left so anyway that
00:06:57
was the first Wait $250 minimum fine a day fine if hybrid I would count in my head yeah so I don't really understand those cuz what you plug them in they go away for a week and they're still
00:07:10
plugged in i mean so I didn't really get how they It takes that long to charge one so that was a little stressful now
00:07:16
this this has never happened before we go through the security i know people have security jokes i go through I look
00:07:23
back there's the little uh cartoon person and it's got a big red block over my crotch just a big red square my wife comes through behind me same thing big
00:07:36
red square we have two people in front of us kind of going "Huh um would you I they asked me would you like to go to a private room for a patown i said no i'm married
00:07:48
so so I said no and they asked my wife too we don't we just thought it was funny i don't want to exaggerate for
00:07:55
comic purposes i think it was a six to seven minute patown you had to turn away put one foot forward and crouch down then they're up underneath there's nothing grabbing grinding looking there
00:08:06
were people who kind of thought I was your your your friend from from fly on the ball and they're look there's a
00:08:12
little crowd gathering they're patting then they come to the front boom boom boom grab boom boom so that was kind of
00:08:19
exciting at the same time it's happening to my wife so the both of us are just doing this groping dance and this
00:08:25
shocked me as I'm leaving the the guy who patted me down lit up a cigarette I go dude it's an airport
00:08:32
you know what you should have said can I just pat down my wife and we'll let You know what happens because what was the
00:08:38
big square in your crotch what do you think was it that we're hiding a gun in our pants or an explosive device i mean
00:08:44
we don't look like that i mean I did say it to him at the end i cuz I get a little passive aggressive sometimes yeah
00:08:50
sure i said cuz I felt there was one grope that was for him one too many there was one squeeze one for the team
00:08:56
yeah one for him it was a little So I said I just Are you happy i said I wasn't Lee i go "Are you happy?" Ah you
00:09:03
gave him that one and he and he goes he kind of nodded and then I high-fived his blue glove ah yeah and then I smelled it
00:09:11
he goes "Sometimes the house wins." I didn't do that you got to grab your balls yeah i haven't I told you Dana
00:09:17
they go like this back i'm going to go to your crotch area yeah the back of the hand you want the back of the hand i go
00:09:23
"Let's go front." Oh you just give them I give them everything yeah i go "Let's have some
00:09:28
fun come on." Okay so this part is not an exaggeration either so we fly to we fly to Chicago we're coming in Chicago now st louis had a tornado and blew up a
00:09:38
dust storm so as Yeah we made all the news we're just We see it in the distance from the plane it's It's 100
00:09:45
miles wide and 20 m tall of dust it envelops Chicago there's tornadoes and thunderstorms and 60 mph gust so the guy's like "We're going to have you ground in a minute uh we've got a dust
00:09:56
storm tornadoes uh thunderstorms winds out of the southwest that gusting to 70 mph we have the ground in just a minute so we when we were coming into Chicago we couldn't even see it it was so
00:10:09
covered with dirt and it was a little it was a little light chop you wouldn't have liked it little dirty air literally
00:10:15
i will I will add in this part of your story dana does not love flying and you add in all this chaos what was Paula
00:10:22
doing paula is uh the opposite of me she is so relaxed like cuz on the way back to LAX we're coming in the gear's down all of a sudden the gear comes up we're like 40 seconds from landing and the guy
00:10:36
does a steep left bank wait he does he gives up on it yeah he go and he goes I go "Oh we we just screwed the pooch we we we got to go around." Then he comes on and goes "Uh there was a plane that
00:10:47
was on the runway so we're going to go around probably take us about 15 minutes to get back in line we'll get back to
00:10:53
you to do a Uturn jesus well there's planes you know and so then two minutes later he takes a steep dive with the gear coming down clearly the tower said "If you do this you can go in." And then
00:11:05
we made a really hard landing i had someone on the aisle behind me who was said it was their first flight oh I
00:11:13
should have br like this i've gotten much better than I've been cuz I've been flying so much i'm kind of like [ __ ] it
00:11:20
but my wife's more like hey and I use this too in World War II they were flying and getting shot at i mean what are we such babies anyway i mean we are
00:11:31
babies because it's definitely uh you know they all they pretty much all land it's just it's very upsetting
00:11:37
and it scares you and tightens up your stomach and you land a little rocked a little dizzy a little awkward no it's
00:11:43
it's you know like I always say if you surf the web for an hour go on Daily Mail or whatever you're hypnotized into
00:11:49
darkness so when you're reading all the time it seem your brain feels like planes are crashing about every two to
00:11:56
three minutes cuz it's so that's where the fear comes up well that Newark airport thing doesn't really help relax
00:12:02
you um I probably avoid it till they get it figured out call me crazy [Music] dane I'm a little bit of a a spendy Suzie if you know what I mean a a boozy Suzie and a spendy Suzie i'm more of a
00:12:23
boozy Suzie but yeah yeah you are you are a spendy spender yeah and a lot of our uh listeners are nice enough to
00:12:28
write in and say "You look like you drank a lot and slept on your face." But that's just constructive criticism well
00:12:35
it's very concise and uh you don't really drink very much i'll tell the fans but just puffy uh this is where
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1353190 clara balance account required cla may get a commission limitations terms and conditions apply i'm just gonna That's what they do i'm just gonna say it it's a CLA summer in a fun story
00:14:03
my mom saw Tom Jones in Arizona where did she go the Arizona Financial Center dude tones Jones can I think it's a 5,000 seater for Tom Jones wow i knew
00:14:16
he's a big star but he's raking him in and they really took care of my mom they gave her a She had a knee operation they
00:14:21
gave her a box moved her into a box isn't that nice sweet i want to thank your mom i just got her knee replaced maybe I'll go to Arizona and just hang out with her i go I'm I'm surrogate Dave
00:14:34
we're around the same size i said why did you get your knee replaced she goes it wasn't that bad but I want to fight
00:14:40
Dana so I want to have it as strong as possible i was like why she didn't even tell me why by the way just did this for
00:14:46
a second tom Jones is my wife's I mean might be her favorite oh really now he's had a renaissance he's been on these talent shows and he's somebody who just has not lost his voice and he he sings
00:15:01
like paparazzi but as a rock star so if if young people are listening just YouTube you know Tom you know the funniest thing is my mom is so stoked and she's waiting waiting waiting was
00:15:13
last Tuesday and I'm I went to Las Vegas to that gig and I had lunch with Nikki and I look over his shoulder it says Tom Jones playing here tonight at I was over
00:15:25
at the wind he was playing there yeah ain't that crazy i would have seen him if I wasn't doing a show and then I
00:15:31
thought if I see him I'm gonna go my mom was coming to I would have said well I saw him once quick story here at Harris
00:15:38
I think in Tahoe and his clothes his pants were incredibly skin tight I mean they weren't even pants so it was like you know and then he would he would turn
00:15:49
around for a drink of water and that you'd hear a lot of the women scream and then he would turn back and say literally I see we have some fenny watchers tonight oh boy every time he
00:16:01
turned around they would scream "I see the Fanny Watchers are still pleased." And then he turns around and goes "I see some weenie watchers are here." And Danny goes
00:16:12
now he puts his wiener on the outside of his pants he goes "They're too tight i got to put on the outside." He was
00:16:17
famously gifted downstairs and I guess famously Milton Burl had the same problem or dilemma or whatever and came to him and wanted to show him and so
00:16:28
this Tom Jones told the story and then Tom Jones said "Yes he had me beat." But I turned around and I heard a little sound and I knew he was a funny watcher fanny watcher yeah i want I You know
00:16:41
what i didn't even check with my mom if she's a fanny watcher i did not even you know ask her ahead of time well it does
00:16:48
she find cuz he was a she fullblown sex symbol in the 60s with women throwing things and all that her favorites are Elvis then Willie and then Tom Jones we went and saw Willie once
00:17:00
together it was great and now Tom Jones okay what about Angelbert Hunk Hunkerde you know what last night I looked up Tom
00:17:06
Jones on on YouTube no joke cuz I wanted to hear Green Grass at Home Tear Jerk tear Jerk and Delilah and um it was an
00:17:14
old video of like the old cool '7s shows where it's like a weird kind of bright set and he's in a Englebert singing who looks like Brad Pit and Brad easily play
00:17:25
him in a movie look exactly like him in this clip and then Tom interrupts him and then they start singing each other's
00:17:30
songs like that old innocent kind of cool they both have tuxes on they start taking Oh yeah it's Anyway they're great
00:17:38
they're both great no no no no okay boring that stuff Uh lastly I would say before we get to the stuff oh the can film festival's on one thing is that all
00:17:50
the people that showed up that were you know in a little bit of hot water we'll say but I just saw the list of James
00:17:57
Franco Ezra Miller Kevin Spacy Shia Labou so they're all there on the carpet doing different things oh that's an interesting game isn't it interesting like maybe they've served
00:18:10
their time in jail of career jail i just It's always like a varied time of how long but are you ever allowed to work again are you not how rough was the crime you did you know it's such an
00:18:21
interesting thing of like they're all there but it's not even America it's France so are they grading it on a curve
00:18:28
i don't I know i mean it's like are you convicted in a court of law or not is one bar and the other is just you know public
00:18:38
opinion public opinion misunderstand or whatever or or they you know but yeah I think the the
00:18:45
cancelling thing is tamped down a little bit we can't like whack them all i actually saw Shila Buff who I think is
00:18:52
kind of cool in the movies great idea man yeah he was he was walking down somewhere it's kind of like let's say you're at the airport and you're walking you see a bunch of people that know you so they're following him and they want
00:19:04
him to sign stuff and I see him he's getting more and more pissed but he was very cool about it i think he's
00:19:10
self-aware enough to go "These guys are all in my face." And the second he want he takes one photo like people are
00:19:16
walking behind him he goes "Yeah yeah take a photo." And then they all get in front of him to block him so they can get one tries to walk again no no just
00:19:23
sign this one thing for my nephew and then you know but he was very cool cuz they're really like yelling at him and
00:19:29
they people get mad and uh he had to keep moving so I give him that he didn't flip out yeah i mean it's it's hard not
00:19:36
to it's hard not to because there you know it's a big country and there sometimes it's just 15 or 20 people who
00:19:44
are not It used to be in the old days gee Mr clark Gable could I get your autograph and now it's a it's a monetary
00:19:51
thing I guess so it's very it's it's aggressive and sometimes it feels a little scary yeah you don't you know it
00:19:57
used to be all fans now it's not really fans just people that fake fans that say sign this or you know quipping as sign
00:20:04
sign and then you don't sign one and they hate you and then they go sign sign everywhere you sign please you can't win also I don't love hearing about these
00:20:16
standing ovations maybe I'm cynical Dana but 11 minutes 9 minutes these people have nowhere to go who can clap their hands in the Guinness Book of World Records for more than like 30 seconds 10
00:20:32
minutes it It's become a thing so one director is outside and he was like he's actually was looking down and tears coming down his eyes and they asked him what happened and he goes "We only got
00:20:45
the six minute stand in ovation." That That's That's just like nothing that's literally zero i think they've done an hour haven't they yeah that's a bomb i think I would say start the standing
00:20:57
ovation in the last 20 minutes of my movie when I play mine and then just so it'll wrap up by the time the movie's
00:21:04
over i want to be if you if Bus Boys does have a premiere I'm gonna be there it'll definitely be in France yeah and I'm going to lead lead the applause maybe it'll just be at some kind of
00:21:16
local whatever Busby's yeah theaters theater and listen popcorn listen I've heard the word Oscar bait with Bus Boys just on rough cuts um I think that
00:21:28
there's nothing there's no bigger compliment and I mean the 20-minute stand ovation but there's no bigger
00:21:33
compliment than reviews of actors people who pretend in front of an electronic lens daniel D Lewis's performances Abraham
00:21:44
Lincoln exquisite is nothing short of a miracle it's miraculous yeah david Spade
00:21:51
is a is a uh a revelation as bus boy number two as Marky the bus boy he's exquisite he will reorientate the Earth's axis as it revolves around the
00:22:06
sun david Spade is a miracle as bus boy Billy instead it'll be like David Spade struggled it seemed to get to the end of
00:22:17
the movie in this david Spade puts the phone in phoning it in as he coasts his way through bus boys it he unbelievably took out a rotary
00:22:29
phone that's how slow his performance was david Spade looks lost and David Spade is in a different movie than Theo
00:22:43
Bon what's happening does anyone understand this did they play it backwards what's going on yeah if I
00:22:51
could understand it I'd give it a rating but for this I couldn't get through the
00:22:57
poster this cub reporter has to say it's a stinker this cub reporter I've never seen a movie before and this is what I start with they had the camera set up
00:23:10
surely people were talking and moving about but the whole thing is like a fever dream i don't remember one second
00:23:17
of it was one long run-on sentence it might have had one laugh but I fell asleep too long to know if there were more laughs hi I'm a cub reporter for
00:23:31
movies.com/fly i sat in the audience and in an hour and a half I heard one Twitter and one chortal here's my It's
00:23:38
here's my slow motion act out of the premiere of an audience the audience okay [Music] good i got
00:23:56
bush the best in the world i done that before good assistant david Spade and Dana Corvy's act of happy audience member is a tag team
00:24:10
extravaganza one doing sound effects and one pretending to be in slow motion okay
00:24:16
all right before we get to some stuff I'll say thanks for watching the Amazon uh special it's doing well and if you
00:24:21
want to go on my TikTok I put up one of my ET jokes which is gives you a little taste and remember everybody new
00:24:29
released on social media it's a huge universe so Dandelion is just there like a book on a bookshelf so that's why we
00:24:35
mention it in the ensuing weeks after the premiere dandelion can go watch it thank you pop in all right let's look at some stories what's going on and we're gonna We'll keep it snug we're moving
00:24:50
right along let's snug it snug it up a little bit we're good [Music] hey when investing your money starts to feel like a second job Betterment steps in with a little work life balance it's
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performance not guaranteed what a dumb we're looking at a big red ball on top of Central Park if you were to combine all 8 billion people on Earth into a giant meatball it would fit in Central
00:26:04
Park that's kind of shocking i never I would have thought way bigger well they're saying 8 billion let's say the average human you have got kids and stuff and Aboriginals i mean maybe the
00:26:16
average person is 100 pounds times 8 billion heather uh it's a trillion pounds and you can fit it in a Central Park who asked AI this
00:26:28
yeah I think 100 pounds that's what Heather is but how about the rest of the world that averages like 220 and we're
00:26:33
in America don't forget so right we're not exactly the waist model capital of the world what are we supposed to take away from that eat more get become bigger people or be proud that we can
00:26:45
fit into Central Park what's our emotional takeaway i think it's Did you think it would be bigger or smaller and
00:26:51
is everyone going like this or is everyone going like this they're going like this it's bigger well what was the Grand Canyon and everyone peed in the
00:26:58
Grand Canyon it would fill up yeah they could not fill it up they could not fill it up they could or just freaks freaks
00:27:04
in a basement or something these are all questions that everyone's asking shut up Brian 8 billion could fit like a
00:27:11
meatball shut up how much meat is in that or is it all just people do you put meat between the people to round it out
00:27:17
i don't know did you ever see soil and green soil and greenest people as people soil
00:27:23
and green as people no it was with child and h soil and green every scared me dead
00:27:31
for thousands of years the late great Phil Hartman did the best chuck H man uh okay next one that was Oh this is interesting open AI
00:27:44
co-founder wanted to build Doomsday Bunker to protect scientists because he thinks if if AI takes over the guy that
00:27:52
knows the most about it is terrifying he's like "I'm scared let's build a bunker while we're developing AI because we might have to hide." AI will [ __ ]
00:28:03
find you in two seconds what are they thinking if AI's after there are people that go it's going to help mankind you
00:28:09
don't know and then there are people who really think this is humans will not be the only I mean we will be obsolete and
00:28:15
maybe sort of we must be eliminated i mean there's been so many movies from the 50s and there also was
00:28:23
um a Star Trek episode about this with William Shatner remember no nomad I think it was called or whatever it was just this metal thing was like 10 feet tall and it would just wander around the
00:28:34
universe and destroy civilizations and it did it for a trillion years until it ran into the logic of James Tirk so it's
00:28:42
like I am nomad I must destroy imperfection but you yourself are imperfect all they had to do is say that
00:28:49
I'm imperfect imperfect imperfect a billion years it destroyed universes it took it took Bill Shatner 20 seconds to wipe him out have you seen
00:29:01
some of those what you're doing thought that was over can't believe you want to destroy sorry go ahead you're a little piece of tinfoil you must destroy all life but
00:29:16
you are part of that life you are really being a bummer no wonder William shatter i don't know how he didn't just pull his neck out or
00:29:27
something or hurt his back i You can't believe what you're saying you believe it's not my best impression we need to get Kevin Paulie in here but u but it's a fun impression so also I saw some Elon
00:29:40
Musk robots and they're really like putting on the rits like they're not just like I'm They're like ya they're
00:29:46
almost doing [ __ ] Billy Jean out there and you go it's getting too fast well think of it this way David if I may
00:29:55
think of the Wright brothers on a basic homemade glider going 120 feet then 50 years later 60 years later you've got a seven you've got 500 silly monkeys 10 miles in the sky
00:30:09
going across the ocean we're going to make a leap in AI like so from a glider to a 747 so you don't know what's coming
00:30:17
i know you're scared this is a Here's my quick new impression of you about AI compression what's going on i don't understand i don't What are we What are we supposed to do and what's going to happen
00:30:29
you can You can't see below peeing my pants of joy or fear fear okay kind of like the guy at the airport so planes went from Kittyhawk to Newark
00:30:42
to Newark yes falling apart ai well look what we'll do what we'll do to be ahead
00:30:49
of ourselves soon soon because Google AI came out and it they're making movies that are totally accurate what we're going to do is we're going to ask AI to make a podcast with digital copies of us
00:31:02
and then see if it's better than what we actually it will be Dana i'm scared it will be come on at the end and go well
00:31:09
sorry or we make tons of podcasts and sit back and collect cash oh yeah that's a good idea i think all the comments will be "That was a perfect show." And
00:31:20
I'll be like "Well that was the AI one." They're like "Oh get back to that dog [ __ ] you normally do we like guess
00:31:26
what's possible with with AI and you know robo taxis whimos all over the place somebody
00:31:32
could buy 10 robo taxis might cost them 100 you know 200 grand or something i'll
00:31:38
do it." And then the robo taxis can monetize 24/7 i guess they just have to recharge themselves but while you sleep get it i can safely say "Wait do you
00:31:50
hate money are you not going to do that?" Or do you like money would is it possible that I have robo taxis working
00:31:56
for me right now i know right now i'm sorry sometimes the future arrives sooner than
00:32:03
you think welcome to I can afford the jean jacket I stole from there better be a pile of money behind that wooden balsa door well you go every day you're trying to like find
00:32:16
out what you're gonna wear i put on my uniform and I rel You're like pink today maybe a gray hooded hoodie no the
00:32:23
problem is the people at home don't know this i reluctantly relinquished black t-shirt to Dana so Dana loves a black t-shirt we all do but I always think
00:32:35
okay if he's wearing a black t-shirt I have to wear one of my frilly little numbers because he's cornered that
00:32:41
market so this one's purple i didn't go black because everyone goes "Are you the same person?" Can you tell it's purple it's kind of
00:32:52
dark well I won't just FYI to our audience I may spiff up this a little bit whoa like I could put something behind me oh yeah we got some stuff coming so
00:33:05
yeah so we we'll see i mean you know don't panic or don't throw a party but just know that there's possibilities i like Where's Waldo i like when I was
00:33:15
in the New York uh hotel or when I'm at the hotel down in LA or I'm at a farm you never know it's where is he where is Dana they always know where you are yeah
00:33:28
because they can hear the construction out front beep beep oh I might get a funny thing i'm going to bring on this only for you and it's a write off i'm not going to look it up
00:33:40
i'm not going to say I'm not say one thing say one thing you're not telling me what you're thinking no I will i'll do it and I'll bring it and then you'll
00:33:46
be like "Oh okay." But I got to order it oh I'll charge it to Odyssey um look at
00:33:55
my nose it's so bendy look at that so weird yeah I know i just got a text from Hi it's David's housekeeper his nose is also very bendy
00:34:06
what the [ __ ] his no He goes She goes "You ever going to get rid rid of that dent in your nose up there?" And I go
00:34:12
"Why should I?" She goes "Maybe it's just the lighting in here but it really sticks out like a sund dial." I go "Um I
00:34:18
know." Okay are the So anyway I had a MRI yesterday that I actually enjoyed and I think I fell asleep just for like
00:34:26
a hip thing but I was in there for 45 minutes in the tube and they are they are funny cuz right in front of you is is two bolts in a little open slit so it
00:34:36
looks like a AI face kind of like and then it just I I don't know if people have been you've been in one recently he's like "No but then it starts out and it's quiet and then it's like D and then
00:34:49
it's like D you know it's like it's crazy." And then it goes silent for like 15 well
00:34:56
only one time that I almost tried to sit up but they have me strapped in it's like then it stopped 15 seconds i'm like
00:35:03
you know Yeah it's so hard to like if you do it for your head or I've done it for my
00:35:09
neck obviously but you're in there like this the guy's like "Are you okay in there are you freaking out?" And I go "Uh no." Cuz you have to go in like this and it's so tight you get to about right
00:35:20
here and you go you start they go "You might have an anxiety attack are you okay you want to Are you claustrophobic?" Yeah they ask "Well I
00:35:27
not really but then when you're like this I'm like I guess you have to be." And then you get like this and he goes
00:35:33
"All right we're going to start here." And I go "Okay." He goes "You're going to hear some noises." And it goes like
00:35:38
this it goes bang bang yeah like you said it goes you're like you can't even hear anything it's maddening for 45 minutes
00:35:52
because of the tube and the way I went in and those sounds and the guy doing that are you okay in there i felt like I
00:35:58
was in I thought I was in 2001 you know i mean I felt like I was inside that movie somehow and so I kind of enjoyed it you know but I had they put earphone here's what they did it sounds like a
00:36:10
bit they put earplugs and then big ear cancelling on top and then started talking to me and all I just looked at
00:36:16
was like Yeah and I go I can't hear one word you're saying mine were still I could still hear him he goes it goes bang bang then there's a 10-second silenc he goes think your guys going to
00:36:29
do another grown-ups it's funny i thought I thought if you weren't going for that then I was going to go for uh so what was up with the turtle man and master of disguise
00:36:45
why wasn't Dana at the reunion yeah what's up with space hair today what do you mean hair today i'm in an MRI
00:36:57
david did you get the message I gave your housekeeper about your baggy eyes is there any way I could get an
00:37:04
advanced copy of Buzz Boys david if I don't have Amazon Prime can you send me a link why does yours sound so metallical it's funny i don't know why it's funny
00:37:15
um so um what was with Church Lady and what Spade came in and did Hunter Biden what was that about if you don't go to the 60th anniversary will you let Spade borrow your Church
00:37:28
Lady wig uh would Spade fit in that wig or would you need a refit yours still sounds like it too i like it mine's got a big squishy thing on it
00:37:40
though no I took my I took this off for a more metallic sound okay go ahead so what's up with spade no seriously and
00:37:47
meanwhile the background noise but I I did say can you can you slow down the noise also in a side story we found a huge lump or some sort of
00:38:00
foreign object in your body i think someone left a scalpel there when you got your hernia last time anyway so what's going on with the bench
00:38:06
warmers uh can you can you slow down the [Music] noises hey I have so I have two more questions about Dana so I turned the
00:38:20
machine off for a while i go no no keep it going okay I want to keep this I want to finish the MRI now it's too loud
00:38:25
anyways what else is happening uh since my hands are like this uh can you mind if I play a little blues harp what are
00:38:32
you doing last question from my nurse are you too old to have a Tik Tok that's a good one simple yes or no oh sometimes our job cracks me up we could
00:38:45
We could end on that if you want yeah I think it was funny yeah it was good i think it was a nice tight episode for
00:38:50
our fans we really We really I'm really proud of us yeah and um that should be our name for our podcast i'm proud of us we're proud of us yeah we don't have the in we don't have what other people have
00:39:03
but we we've got hope we got us and we got high hopes mhm next next week I want to talk about why the movement to hate baby boomers
00:39:17
there's a lot of people talking about boomers we'll go deep mhm mhm we haven't had anybody on for a while maybe we'll get somebody on yeah maybe get Tim Dylan to talk about that he's pretty funny
00:39:30
about it it's funny he hates We can get him to hate anything he's Yeah he's got some good hot tast he
00:39:38
was on CNN the other day and he's just ripping on everything it's so funny that's That is entertaining um Okay
00:39:46
thanks for coming Dana thanks for coming by my podcast appreciate it uh I appreciate just for a second you've
00:39:51
you've been on um Dana Carvey Superfly with my guest today David David Spade with David Spade with David Spade this has been a presentation of Odyssey
00:40:03
Superfly it's executive produced by Dana Carve and David Spade jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg
00:40:10
Holtzman hope you liked it [Music]