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[Music] okay yeah there you go okay oh Jesus oh [ __ ] [ __ ] let's just show this camera test
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Jesus godamn Lord have mercy someone just threw thems out the [Music] window Okay so
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first of all I'm just so glad you got the clothing memo oh to do you know this is dark blue
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and I have this nice watch so I thought I had to cut the sleeves off my shirt so you could see it better oh it's dark
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blue okay yeah oh you're black so we don't we don't look alike I honestly get so much flak on the YouTube about we look the same that I do not wear a black T-shirt because I know you wore one so I
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try to stay away from your Turf I actually was I have bought I just bought two white t-shirts at the Gap and I was thinking I might wear a
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white T-shirt at some point oh really I don't wear white ever because it it makes me too pale
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what well I know I know what you mean it looks really good on me I don't know why if I do say so myself um I bought the
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t-shirts in in I I was ready to purchase them in about a minute and a half and then they pitch me signing up for the rest of my life oh wait you mean in the store yeah right at the point of
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purchase I went to Banana Republic with my and they said instead of 600 it'll be 300 and it'll only take a couple minutes
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dude you know what it's worth $300 not giving your email to someone because yeah they go you know if we could just
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grab sometimes just for free do we have your email I go [ __ ] I hope not and they're like you just want to throw your email down here and they kind of and then I go why just we have it I'm like
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[ __ ] how about for $55,000 you can have my email to ruin my life and constantly spam can we have your cell phone number
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that yeah give me your cell phone yeah can I have your email on cell phone uh and they do it real casual just for
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records can I have your cell phone so I went to uh an unnamed store Ralph Lauren
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you know what that is I named my two stores I love both stores in case anyone's mad I know you blew it cuz you
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already trashed okay I went to Ralph lawren over here in BH fancy yeah and anyway I
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bought the funnier story is I don't have any turtlenecks and it was so freezing on the road I go I'm going to buy a CHT
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I'm going to roll the dice of like fashion I don't know where chts fall in the world caned guys wear them I don't
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know but I found a cool one then another one then another one so I got three and they were not cheap The Beetles well they wore them in 19 65 so
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uh will just I'm I'm I'm an audience member now will you debut this turtleneck first of all explain why it's called a turtleneck and secondly will you debut it on this podcast Superfly oh
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that's a great idea I will when it's not 106 like it is today but I bought it 112
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I will say at least a year ago and I have not bought I and I have the bag of all three and I haven't even taken out the bag cuz I'm scared mostly because I
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don't want to mess up my hair but I will wear them soon and I will debut it here and we'll take an audience poll on
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YouTube can I ask you a question go right Ahad did you ever own a Dicky oh a Dicky I had a
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Madre shirt a dress shirt this is fourth grade and then a Dicky madress whatever
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what it's like made in Madrid you say tomato I say Madrid it's kind of faded checkered shirt yeah kind of it looked
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like it was dipped in ink and Faded preppy yes and I had an orange Dicky that would
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just for those of you at home that don't know it's a turtleneck but it's not a full shirt it just goes around your you
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know neck oh and then you wear something over like a coat or sweater so it looks like you have one under I mean I've been
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tempted by Dickies on Santa Monica um behind Okie dog uh but yeah so I um I love the way you lean in for every punchline it's a punchline and time to laugh time to laugh every YouTube freeze
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frame you're like this you do end jokes pretty good because it goes like that I got everything everything I got about how to play this game is from you I just reflect what you do well I've got
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I've got a better camera look today and I better hear some [ __ ] paw feedback from this well you're also in a a kind
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of a wider shot yeah like this we're really trying things um do you see that shirt I have some I can't even point where is NE I can't see
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God I can't do anything not not on camera everything that security shirt mhm is from one of your movies this is interesting one of my movies yep so it
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could only be three movies security oh WS World yep yeah because we had all all access pass yeah make people happy this is g at
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111 that is a trivia uh John Farley gave me that that was Chris's security shirt in WW2 this is from one of your
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movies where I played a llama is that garbage I thought it was a llama figurine is it a clean it almost looks
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like a little character doesn't it hey how are you David it looks more like it when you turn it sideways yeah like that
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looks like a person that was when I played Sparks in what Heather a a video game that was lost and found where you're in the parking garage
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you ran over that that's when I sneezed at your house and I threw it in your truck uh oh what was I going to tell you about everything my turnl oh so oh yeah
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the story about that was and I will wear one is that I I bought the turnl and the
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guy goes I said oh I don't want to log it all the way I parked too far away he goes yeah just call and we'll run it out
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back so I call and the guy's like Gregory and I go hey were you just the guy that I just yeah so I pull out back and he goes ah this car is pretty cool
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is it got the old 418 you know whatever whatever so I go cool cool throw it in and then he uh then I get a te I thought it was the the store phone so about an
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hour later I get a text he's like that car is cool man I wish I had one in dark gray I'm
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like he's calling you at home this is he's texting me I'm like yeah anyway I go yeah cool got all the t- necks all good like it's a wrap on this back and
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forth and then a couple about a week later he's like I actually might be leaving this place going to a new store
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I'm like what the [ __ ] going on are we still talking when do we turn into pen pals and I'm like yeah you know
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jobs are tricky I don't even know I think I answered I don't know why I kept engaging it's called block that the CER
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isn't it I maybe I missed something no I probably should have stopped talking anyway let's bring him out he's my
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manager anyway he manages me now no he doesn't I do I'm gettz don't make jokes about that that's
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funny I think he'd do really I think he wouldn't understand the complexities of the people think I'm not manage you anymore that's not a good look at that
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the Beverly Hilton hi I'm David Spade I hate money I hate money that's the name of the book I don't know lot a lot of my
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clients like to work they like money you don't that's fine yeah you don't want to go to Anchorage for a one nighter I
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guess you just don't like money you don't like would you like would you like to come with me anyway I got to take a
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call yeah want don't you anyway patch me through so oh what I was going to say you today oh the quick story didn't tell you the other day on fly in the wall our sister podcast
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that's amazing we have two can you really gave us two and they're all blowing through the roof Breaking unbel
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record I can't the numbers are crazy numbers are still trickling in and so I said that litz and I played golf at Teran this weekend and um there's a guy
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that takes you in a shuttle sometimes when I I as I'm telling the story I realize it's boring but I'm just going
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to plow through there's a guy you got me you got me I mean you don't you don't know what's around the corner well I
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just know love and you on a golf course that could be a move it's funny you just never leave the golf course every time
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he gets a decent hit where it goes past the women's teas he goes jealous I me I'm not that jealous he hit
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it about 40 yards his favorite catchphrase yeah his favorite catchphrase and then he goes I have some
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movies I want to pitch anyway so we get in a car they go to go to lunch you have
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to get in this shuttle and you go over there so we go to the sh lunch boring we eat he eats a lot boring then we come back I pay Bo and then the guy the shuttle guy's already there I go oh we
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just called you he goes yeah so I get in and love is is walking up that's actually good yeah doing his water like
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kind of a jokey walk I do it yeah oh yeah definitely and then I get in the guy as as I'm walking up he goes oh not
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this guy so he knows me with the hat and glasses he goes oh we got to get a picture I don't care if it's
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unprofessional your your thoughts exactly yeah I go I don't care let's get a picture yeah so he goes let's get it in the car I go all right so he's in the
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front I'm in the back I give him the obligatory goofy face keep it fun you know keep it light yeah and uh and then
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litz gets in in the front seat and the guy starts go starts leaving and he goes oh I know this dude
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too and he goes oh and he goes oh the wrong Missy and now he's driving and he's looking back at me and there's a lady with a big baby and she's like hey and he's like oh and then he then he
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almost hits her then he keeps dying cuz everyone's walking to the restaurant from the resort and then these two people are walking up and I go hey and
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he goes oh yeah yeah he's almost like [ __ ] them like why are they in my way of the driver that's not looking so lvas
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goes look at the road and he's like oh this guy then he goes I can't believe I got David
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Spade and this guy in the car oh you're kidding no really and he hated it and then he goes Oh you mean the guy that was in A League of Their Own and then the guy that was on SNL and did the
00:11:06
liar 1986 first one was 1998 I said he's in a new uh not DraftKings but uh FanDuel commercial which is good he's in a commercial right now oh okay and he goes yeah don't forget about that do you
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have a TV have you seen it and so the guy goes oh yeah and then he he dumps US off and
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he's like oh man I can't believe I was with Spade in this guy and he goes let's get a picture all of us me you and Spade
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okay so we take a picture and then when I leave we all get in our cars I know love is fuming and I go hey love it did
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you see that the guy almost hit three people while you were reading your resume to
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him oh that's poor John he's a little n than that could man but the liar was big
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and he reminds me of that every time I I was number one he reminds you oh he he likes to tell me he turned down home alone Heather you cranked that AC um if you you know what movies I turn
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down actually let's ask him we told him I told him that we might do a Christmas episode and he might have to dress as
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Santa Claus your idea yeah I'll come on I didn't tell him Santa Claus part though have you ever driven through in Cino where John grew up with him just on
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a Sunday afternoon he'll just stop the car look at like some elementary school and go ah where did the time
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go those were the days my friend Nursery School my friend you were four years old
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those were yeah he wasn't famous what do he I know that's the last time I was happy anyway he's always in a good mood as long as Jerry's with him I got
00:12:56
another news story before we get to all the headlines one I want another story they're all [Music]
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stupid there's a big Taylor Swift drama we're very dicey about this right we don't want to be mised we don't want to jump the gun we don't want to take a hard position we're so edgy but we don't
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take any positions about anything we can't because we like Taylor Swift like Kelsey uh there was a big thing about
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had is so uncomfortable right now are you uncomfortable fine you're like sleeping with your head on a rock uncomfortable what she's she's not her
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backers that's all right she's here and laughing and in a good mood and looks great it's all that matters it's better
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to look good why don't you marrier feel yeah okay so Taylor Swift and Kelsey they had I think some guy's playing a
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joke they put out they go oh this is a good trick it was well thought out they show some's desk at her PR Company or and they look
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through it and says this is for you know Linda and it's like their fake relationship how long it has to go what their contractual obligations are and
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then on the 20th of September they break up they make these statement you see this hether yes so dumb but it seems so
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fake so I think the reason why people are sort of biting on it is because they're looking for trouble and also
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it's one of those things everyone thinks about Hollywood I'm sure there are those out there I don't think that's one of
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them but I do think there's a lot of matches made for careers yes and I I would say like I don't think that they're doing it for that reason they
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seem to really like each other but they both know inside their brain looking at each other you know uh we don't really
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need any more publicity that but this has made us Global Superstars I think think that's the best Taylor Swift I
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have that was I thought that was Kelsey um but it's not like they're doing it for that reason but it's like it hasn't been bad for for their brand it's not doesn't mean it's a plot you know well
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Taylor Swift who I thought couldn't get any bigger is a bigger star and Kelsey is already greatl looking he's got all
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you know his life is all green lights but this just got Greener and so fine but also I saw an NFL promo oh Greg you could almost bring it
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up a promo for the first promo of the NFL season of all the teams actually on a side don't too many Quick Cuts maybe I'm getting old it's too many Quick Cuts everyone Cuts if edit editors want to
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cut and they can't stop I can't even focus on where I'm looking and it's over and I over here terrible here's me
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looking at it meanwhile it's on my phone this pick where am I looking it's like Aaron Rogers this but they said
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somehow okay let's watch it and then I'll tell you the trick okay here it [Music] is puka AA we've got your jayen
00:16:24
herz's make out okay no the the the interesting thing is aside from you're dizzy right now probably because it's well yeah I get the idea but they're they're just a a big solid
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beat too fast that's all you know I get the idea of like that but they went too too fast oh we get and that's okay they
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made a mistake they're going to listen to this next time they do it they'll slow it down a little slow down what's your point of because my point of view
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is I wish that was played more like the zuder tape I like it nice and slow I like to go that's John
00:17:00
Kennedy that's his wife here comes the bullet I mean at least I understand what's going on this so it's like a pokeemon man but also guess good job
00:17:11
that's hard to hard to land a JFK assassination joke and not and not offend the world that was uh actually okay I got it that was I was I said he's
00:17:22
going slow for me and they also play it in slow motion so I'm like ball at car the guy in the cowboy had so the the the big uh comment about that
00:17:36
was Taylor Swift is in it five times in one minute so really Joe burrow zero other famous football players zero that strikes me as more odd than the fake
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contract because the NFL is not in business with Taylor Swift per se I don't know if it's dudes in a room
00:17:56
or people in a room or or AI or whatever but it is a business and someone somewhere figured just doing those five subliminals because that's a that's a new audience for them are swifties right
00:18:10
I mean they probably had a certain amount were NFL fans swifties together are a larger population than the
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Philippines I just saw that actually that's yeah if you put Thailand Indonesia in the Philippines together
00:18:23
you have one tenth of the of the swifties I don't even know is you know but I would just say um it's a little disrespectful you think of Joe Burrows
00:18:35
he played in kindergarten the best player he played Pop Warner the best player High School the best player College the greatest player now NFL one
00:18:40
of the all-time greatest already $200 million contract is he in the Montage uh getting everyone excited about the next
00:18:47
NFL season no is a pop star in there she didn't ask for it yes but once right no
00:18:54
Twice come on three no more four no five freaking even Taylor's mad if we listen
00:19:01
real carefully cuz they're in LA right now you could hear them screaming about that just listen she's like cut away from me my God I'm not I know it's not her fault that's like one of those
00:19:12
things where they just put her I think she probably goes I don't need this extra boost and then I don't want to
00:19:19
give anyone a reason to go come on Roll their eyes she's doing just fine I I'm sure she'll be the first game of the
00:19:26
season is she gonna be what do you think Heather absolutely it's the first game the
00:19:31
Chiefs I think it's I'll be in Minneapolis God dang I want to see it God dang I um I met an adult woman or
00:19:42
I know very nice person and her relationship with uh that that couple um is profound and how much she
00:19:56
follows it and what she gets out of it she's into it and she's an adult grown and how he is the first man she's ever
00:20:02
been with really knows how to treat her like a man I want a man and he can protect her well he's
00:20:08
65280 yeah I guess so but right right why are we all no hey in our little frames here we could be whatever size we want to be see
00:20:22
I can cause trouble uh okay other than that let's get to I'm looking forward to football though let's get to what's our
00:20:30
goofy things we have M oh I wanted to talk about JLo this sounds like I'm drinking haterade which I'm not drinking water but you know you just
00:20:44
got first of all on the positive side JLo's pretty perfect no one's arguing that but when you get a divorce then you go all right I have to show my hot face my hot ass immediately it's like okay
00:20:57
it's it's day that's my problem L to death L to death but you can't we can't miss you if you don't go away you got to give it a week solid week and then but
00:21:11
it's like look what you're missing it's one of those look what you're missing I think oh this is this is for Ben I I
00:21:17
called it wrong with this couple so I want to apologize I I thought that it looked so much like they were to get
00:21:23
divorced that they couldn't be getting divorced because it was so obvious so obviously so it it couldn't be possible
00:21:29
so I stand correct I always wonder how many selfies was it spontaneous and she then she sent it to her team should we use this yeah um I don't know I mean you
00:21:43
your bathroom selfies which you'll just send to friends yeah um are they advisable I don't know but if you think you look good I mean I do the same thing I st you can see my [ __ ] perfect
00:21:55
buttocks I uh get my makeup nice ly and then I make sure everyone sees my final net my V5 Hairspray the more interesting
00:22:03
thing is to see how many hair things she has down there uh she's got panten I see
00:22:09
per plus oh I see yeah and that's all intentional um you know fathertime wins it's undefeated so she still looks incredible yeah she's winning so far though
00:22:23
54 so I guess if if you if you look that good at 54 yeah get get get that lens out mhm you've sent me a few bathroom selfies that I'd have to say could use a couple
00:22:36
tweaks I mean they're all obviously first takes but I'm in great shape for the shape I'm
00:22:43
in all right next one we basically show stupid stuff and then we just say the show's over oh this is burning man that everyone is like you got to go to Burning Man in LA and it's out in the
00:22:55
desert and it's what is it today 100 tomorrow it's going to be one yeah and it's 110 out there and this is you set
00:23:02
up camp and you just do this all day these are the current well this is the other day but still everyone wears
00:23:10
goggles so this isn't this isn't Iraq right this is not Iraq this is candahar there's some of our old uh tanks and equipment uh yeah that's the fun and
00:23:22
there's no bands it's basically let's just pack our trousers with dirt it gets worse than that I mean this I know people are obsessed with I was living up the Bay Area and they'd all take a van up there and they you want to
00:23:36
go man come on man go what's up there and they said they saw a thing where it's like six
00:23:42
dudes totally naked walking in a line and have either yarn or string or rope tied around there ding wiy ding dongs to the next guy to the next guy to the next guy and then they go you got to go mans
00:23:57
h I've already seen puppetry or the penis I already I spit up and my fited in my throat I don't want to go to burning man you don't want to go to that's a true story by the way that's
00:24:09
not yeah yeah they put yarn around their balls I know it's not I they have big art installations but some of those are just like very cool like they have a big windmill and you go ah now I don't need
00:24:20
to get a sand storm it's I could just watch it through Instagram but people really get into it it's drugs or a must and it's orgies and it and it is a lot
00:24:32
of that with the desert sand it's just like how you doing I love burning man me too notice my I did this act out but my hair wasn't moving so it didn't
00:24:44
work also I do hate it made me mind when people film stuff and the wind is in their camera I that's one of my things I
00:24:51
cannot stand the sound yeah they do have an orgy tent for real nothing worse than getting your Sandy puss and your balls caked with dirt
00:25:06
cloths oh get L yeah people get lost this is Heather bring this breaking news people get lost and they can't find
00:25:12
their way or they hunker down in the orgy tent because they're the only thing with the
00:25:17
generator and uh is there a sign that says there's an orgy tent for real welcome org tent yeah what happens we have to test you to make sure you do
00:25:29
have an STD cuz people want to spread those around right yeah it's it's burning man
00:25:36
it's it's burning everything else too yeah it's burning crotch that's why it's called burning men all the men by the
00:25:41
time they leave are burning downstairs go ahead yeah it doesn't look like that fun I we're old though we don't like it
00:25:47
well I don't like it I don't like going to the desert and TI my ding wiy ding dong to another guy's dingy D ding I'll just St next to the oven and pour dirt
00:26:00
over my head yeah I'll dig a hole in the mud stick my head in it that'd be more fun than burning man shave my pubes and stick them with
00:26:12
glue on a thing cut my pubes shape them into the the shape of a little seahorse and try to sell
00:26:22
it I was about to say when [ __ ] riffing goes wrong is what I just did I got stuck and hit a wall uh when riffing goes wrong here's a
00:26:33
clip all right so that's that what's the next one burning man's Dana's out on Burning Man okay
00:26:39
yeah least oh here's a list of the least attractive Hobbies Hobbies okay for men
00:26:45
according to women okay okay all right let's go what do you think of these all right number one playing video games that's what women think is a turnoff to men Heather what do you think about that
00:26:58
is that is that accurate magic tricks magic tricks I like the magic tricks made it this High even into the list who's doing magic tricks other than hi the weenie what's
00:27:09
going on out there so the amazing cres never got laid I mean what's this say David Copperfield is not getting there's
00:27:17
no Green Room action no but actually David Blaine does really good ones and he does very well so that guy's amazing
00:27:26
I love he freaks people out collecting figurines I can see being number two almost could be number one I would put
00:27:33
that number one there's a lot of women that are now getting into video games and by the way Elon Musk plays video
00:27:39
games he's worth 300 billion so I'm not so sure anymore uh that that is has much of an
00:27:46
onus on it you know it's like a three-dimensional movie that you're inside of apparently right I think uh
00:27:52
two things one is that I think women are saying when it's 12 hours a day it's a turnoff when the guy's more interested in the game but I also think right uh uh
00:28:04
when there's so many guns out there and there's so many killings when you're in a video game pretending to Gun Down
00:28:11
everyone and you're getting really good at it because you do it 12 hours a day for years going out in the real world it
00:28:17
gets a little blurry that you're doing it and you're really good at it I I think no one talks about that but
00:28:23
borderline political but it's just uh it's just it has to be a fact that it's not good for kids to just practice gunning everyone down I do believe in education there'll be more of this this
00:28:36
learning learning by because there are video games where you try to build a civilization and you procure uh you know
00:28:43
food and shelter there are games like that they're not all you know but anyway um so online trolling so that would eliminate you um I troll back people
00:28:55
yell at me and I get I fight back which is so um but I can't stand it uh gambling I do do for NFL season and it's a good way to lose money
00:29:08
if you're looking for ways to lose money that's a good way yeah I I could only gamble when I
00:29:15
was highly buzzed I play blackjack with a few beers in me oh yeah and I I would win because it was just play money to me
00:29:22
but the the minute you take it seriously you just like feels Terri gigs Vegas or
00:29:28
at casinos we do a lot of casinos um it's very tempting but uh mhm I think The House Always Wins they always say building model trains is that still a big it's this
00:29:40
big that it's made I think it's every young man's or boy's fantasy and then some it does go into adulthood to have a giant basement
00:29:52
with a model train in there I think Neil Young owns lional trains or something when I did trapped in Paradise with
00:30:00
Nicholas Cage we're all we all of our hotel rooms I can't believe we're in this movie anyway he he has this giant box in his suite this is the middle of Canada
00:30:11
and I go what's in there goes you'll find out so it was a huge model train his assistant put it together it was
00:30:17
very it's just they're comforting to watch the train go around I think they're kind of cool I
00:30:24
mean yeah but if a woman doesn't like it they may feel all of this is like if you
00:30:30
spend too much time Taxidermy makes who the [ __ ] is doing see that that's yeah
00:30:38
that's kind of interesting I knew a girl that was really to tax that was actually a girl in The Bachelor that was
00:30:45
in the tax Derby uh I find it creepy did I don't know if this is this goes way back there was a guy on television named Roy Rogers and he played a cowboy in the
00:30:56
50s and he had a son so no a horse named trigger and apparently when the horse died he
00:31:02
stuffed it Taxidermy it and it was like in the foyer of his house oh boy little fun fact all right say it again oh cat ladies and
00:31:16
then they stuff it oh boy yeah I don't mind bird watching I think that one's interesting I would do that with a girl Steve Martin and ow Owen Wilson did a movie about bird watching
00:31:28
it wasy co bird watching I follow a bird on my Instagram a bird uh watching thing
00:31:34
they asked women women to fill out a form of what they found attractive in a man and most
00:31:39
of them just drew a drew a giant dollar sign rude I thought they drew a picture of me oh there you go he saved it that's my
00:31:51
landed a laugh joke all right next one next one I like my lighting today I'm really [ __ ] you look good it's smooth yeah let's see if it looks good on the clips on Instagram that's really where
00:32:02
it comes [Music] together okay what's this couple in Philadelphia oh I just thought this is
00:32:17
interesting story accidentally roll into a river while they're having car sex so here's the reporter telling the police a
00:32:25
vehicle was parked along the Kelly Drive in a parking lot right near the grand stand curb what we're looking at right there are the headlights and brake lights of that vehicle fully submerged
00:32:38
underwater so this is this was at 4:45 this morning so police say a man in a woman were well were they said they were parked in the parking lot like like we
00:32:50
used to say they they were parking this is what when I was growing up if you were making out in a car this gu like we
00:32:58
were parking keep it real well the police said that their car was parked and keep going back to the police they
00:33:03
hit the gear sh theyed and the car went into so what you're telling me is these two people were in the back seat of this vehicle I didn't say that I don't have the location of where they were actually
00:33:14
sitting in that vehicle well I do in the front I mean they're messing with the gear and then in the front I heard the
00:33:20
police I I believe in the police they were in the back seat of the car when the woman accidentally I don't know what appendage uh engaged
00:33:32
the gear it must have been a stick well both got out able to swim back to the shore police did say it was a uh
00:33:43
either a Range Rover or a Land Rover trying to get away from at one point in there this the slowest news day in
00:33:49
history yeah I like how the guy name drops his his Range Rover too he's like man I had
00:33:55
a Range Rover once shut the [ __ ] up but how I mean were they dyslexic or should they go to and they're uh parked and uh
00:34:05
they were in a car what was it again I mean that was like stretch stretch oh they were like Phil it fil time he like you know we need I learned a drive on a stick shift everyone's like
00:34:17
[ __ ] apparently they were in the back seat did they ever say having sex so they just said it saiding out it said X
00:34:26
Aster X oh I see but that wasn't them that was the person on the Instagram but they I
00:34:33
love that the one guy was trying to keep it just vague and he's like so was it a hand job or and they're like no that
00:34:40
that's no we are just saying and some appendage hit the gear shift I mean would that be his wiener and he's in the back seat hitting the gear shift knob in
00:34:51
the front seat and the female anchor is like not the most comfortable oh I've done that a million times s that's because you got to grab the
00:35:01
headrest it work it works Range Rover yes all right we'll keep going we really milked it out of that one I'll I'll keep my thoughts to myself oh wait this is an old school one Dana that was good I know
00:35:16
it was pretty this is an oldie but this is someone and I hate it because the noises are so gross this is the
00:35:23
newscaster this is one of the first things I saw online that she's doing a goofy bit
00:35:29
we're grape stomping up in Napa now how do you doing and you just get in here and you squish it and it goes sideways
00:35:36
all right let's see volume fill with grapes what kind of grapes these are filled with shamers grapes and the
00:35:42
winner this Saturday music eating International Foods having wine tours and tasting Vineyard tours seminars arts
00:35:50
and crafts it's a lot of fun a whole day stop oh what oh dear hard this like Ann that's Philman
00:36:17
they're doing our job for us we're gonna make sure she is check on her and get back as soon as we can we'll be back
00:36:23
right after that first of all you think it's a dog then you realize it's her a dog and then
00:36:31
you're like either she's um incredibly babyish when it comes to pain or she's truly hurt I think she was hurt I mean what was she falling on cement or mud
00:36:44
or by the way it was not set up well I mean just to be up there rickety buckets goofy bit it was gonna happen was going to happen and she's
00:36:55
like jogging in it and the lady's like I wouldn't she like oh oh the first day D is like watch this man watch this yeah
00:37:02
keep going keep going yeah he's like three two I swear it felt like she broke her
00:37:09
leg in eight Place she's like it's like she swallowed glass and anyway yeah she landed and swallowed glass oh I'm sure she's fine I think it was
00:37:25
just she's fine who hasn't fallen out of a bucket full of grapes onto the ground
00:37:30
thank you thank you all right what's next mik drop what time is it oh we got time for one or two more okay and I want
00:37:37
to do my um the bedding thing because maybe at the end this is oh yeah we didn't talk about that yet okay well this is It's a teaser for anyone who's still with
00:37:49
us Hyundai reveals an electric car concept car that looks cool that's an electric car that looks like an old Seville or something I like it I like it a lot you know what yeah it's I would
00:38:04
say vintage stuff young people like a lot of it because vintage cars were not made for aerodynamics they were just sort of made they look cool so the fact
00:38:17
this is electric look at that oh yeah yeah that's that's crushed velvet oh my God I love it yeah it looks like a classic like Ford LTD something Biden
00:38:28
said the other day that all cars will be driven by your feet like The Flintstones in 2045 allby Jim was the hole the W yeah I
00:38:40
had a Volkswagen Bug once and eventually I had to get rid of it because there was you could see it wore through on the
00:38:46
bottom of the Volkswagen Bug oh really shift and [ __ ] whatever reason it could have I could have been Fred Flintstone
00:38:52
remember that that's how they yeah it's from too much parking Heather says did you did you do a lot of parking
00:38:59
Dana with a volt swing and Bug mhm you mean you mean to get in the back seat are we going back to that clip again yeah we are well what I would do is get at the
00:39:09
top of a very Steep Hill undo the parking break and as we go back down she would fly into the back seat and you
00:39:16
know get frisky that's a way to do it that's not bad and again friskiness ensu okay one more wait what was the one I
00:39:24
sent okay oh wait oh I'll watch this one then we'll go to yours Dana we'll save the other well it's just a topic yeah okay let's do this this is just I find interesting a bad luck situation
00:39:37
okay guy he forgot to put his truck in park and it actually rolled back and hit and their house wow dope dope and when the homeowner came out to see what happened
00:39:49
she was not happy but the craziest part of the video is at the end what she's being a little rough on Sor yeah I [Music]
00:40:02
need and while she went back to the house to write down all of his information he forgot to put the truck
00:40:07
in park again and it rolled away hitting the neighbor car oh my this four dude the realization three two
00:40:21
God what a day what a okay now I'm a little suspicious about the clip oh you think it's a foo well interesting what are the odds he's
00:40:33
terrified of it just happening I'm sure it's a big giant break it's I don't know I'm on the fence on that one okay wow
00:40:40
you're not don't hate me I'm not cical no I like that you're really analyzing it because I just have questions sometimes I have questions you know sometimes I got questions I got
00:40:53
questions you take everything in life at face value yeah like if you see something you just believe it yes and
00:40:59
I'm like it could be Optimist ask too many questions yeah so here's here was my question for you yeah oh you're not gonna I like to get
00:41:12
you to do it oh you got questions he undid the parking break two times I'm going to tell the doctor I have to ask the doctor I have to tell the
00:41:25
doctor okay go ahead is we talking about my question was if you're trying to predict who's going to be the next president of the United States there's the PO there's the polling called people
00:41:38
and then there's gambling in Vegas odds and big gambling houses and apparently a
00:41:44
lot of people think the gambling is more accurate because the stakes are higher than the polling so it's very
00:41:50
interesting to well I will say that Vegas takes it very seriously when they put a line on a football game it's like
00:41:57
three and a half points and you can't believe it's that close and it always comes down to so close to that it's
00:42:03
shocking they do so much research so I see what you're saying like polling we talked a while ago where I've never been pulled you've never been pulled like and I've never met anyone who's been pulled
00:42:15
where is the polling I know they're legit but uh okay what are you saying Heather what do you want me to look at
00:42:21
Oh I thought you wrting something now uh I think that um Vegas what the Vegas odds I don't know what they are right now but you're talking about the presidential race right yes I mean it's I it's they the
00:42:35
the cliche I don't know if it's true but they say that Trump always outperforms his polling um okay because I my thing is
00:42:43
like people get you get cold called are you gonna vote for Trump and people just sort of hang up or go I'm really uh not
00:42:51
at Liberty to say so I don't know I would go by the Vegas odds because to your point they do the research because the stakes are millions of dollars and you can bet almost anything on Vegas I
00:43:04
Put ,000 on a 300 to one that Trump during the the debate will call kamla his new nickname and it's a you're a Kam K Cula I'll tell you that Kam K Cula Kam
00:43:18
K Cula you're a Kam K Cula she goes really what's that it's your new nickname but I bet that bet those I bet that she would say
00:43:30
unburdened even though I don't even know what it means I bet it's going to pop up well one thing she does and I know it's
00:43:36
hard to do a woman in her thing but she does say okay a lot is kind of her catchphrase like I close the border
00:43:44
first of all okay okay I also would close the border better than anyone else okay so okay is her new catchphrase if Maya's listening she can what about her
00:43:55
last speech when she's like they unions that was funny and that's been like that's been going on for a long time I mean John krey was this button- down ivy league guy I'm John KY right
00:44:12
and he's falling behind George W bush the 2004 presidential so they put him in uh you know like uh military Garb and they gave him a riful and he literally
00:44:22
said remember he's a total Boston intellectual he goes I'm going to go beg me a critter you know just to get get
00:44:31
the rural vote to relate Elizabeth Warren they said she's too Elite she's Massachusetts Boston whatever and so she did a video to try to get and she says
00:44:42
I'm gonna drink me a beer in a minute I'm gonna Dr and she kept mentioning it I'm GNA go get me a beer so with an
00:44:49
audience that made her sang wet ass [ __ ] one time at a debate all the words just and then all the kids are like this maybe there's something there yes
00:45:05
George W bush said once in one of his trying to reach out to African-American audience say I like big butts and I
00:45:11
cannot lie and everyone went vote however you vote but Kam Cula if I get that I'm going to make a100 thousand dollars
00:45:24
we'll split it [Music] all right well we'll wrap up and I'll tell my tour dates which are let's do it don't be shy you're one of our great
00:45:43
standups well minis one of the great tonight molis yeah in Indiana yeah you get it indanapolis great audiences in Minneapolis
00:45:57
Harford Connecticut Providence West Palm lot of Florida david.com Che now you got
00:46:03
me curious how are you transporting yourself between these bit some in Florida like our cars you know we drive because I don't run a car I'm too scared but we'll Buzz around and then
00:46:17
some I think Providence I have a corporate in Boston then I go up to Providence whatever and uh Connecticut what's that one
00:46:28
so those are always far I realized I didn't know this year 80% of the country lives to the
00:46:36
east of Texas if you go straight up the middle of the country 80% so that's crazy so that's why all
00:46:43
the gigs are back there 80 really is that true W that sounds like a lie yeah it sounds like a lie 80% California's pretty populist but the rest for [ __ ]
00:46:56
and they if you take out like California and I think Seattle then it's only 10% left in the whole country of
00:47:09
population if you this is all lies but I mean I think this is true uh it sounds like it I would just say that especially in the Northeast the Eastern Seaborn things are kind of
00:47:21
squished together you know it's kind of like States you you know you're just talking for a bit and whoops are now in
00:47:27
Connecticut you know so I think that's they're very close together you can run around and do them like here you got to
00:47:33
go all the way to Arizona go all the way to yeah you're in you're in uh Austin and then the next night Seattle it's a two-hour flight you know so I like tour
00:47:44
dates I got two in Denver I'm going to tape that one and then I'm going to my last one I think is um oh Kansas City
00:47:50
Chiefs so I will be there Taylor probably come probably come oh and they out on I was going to hit up some of the players some have come to the shows when I'm on the road in their cities and uh
00:48:02
MH but during the season Saturday is a tough night for them to go if it's Friday maybe so you must be crushing I
00:48:09
mean you've done so many dates in the last year are you just the are you at you're like if you
00:48:16
athletically you're you're probably in the pocket because of so many I'm better now taping it in Denver and then I'll
00:48:23
take time off and then I'll come back you know first or second quarter that's cool you know that I had a bit of a problem with the the name of
00:48:34
your last special um I felt it was too nondescript and easy to go out of your brain and it
00:48:42
is [Applause] called the last one yeah the last one oh nothing personal is it nothing personal is that it that ESC my brain yeah was it
00:48:55
nothing personal or not my problems oh my fake problems is one but what was the last one on Netflix I think that was nothing personal nothing personal okay so we can have the fans
00:49:08
right in if you don't have a name oh yeah that's right yeah but we want to name David's next special I have
00:49:14
something in mind oh you do well I had I know Dana Carvey but that's self-serving
00:49:20
that's not bad as a title of your not good but um I'm sure you have you know put in the YouTube comments yeah because I don't uh have one yet well let me ask you a question before we jump off here
00:49:34
what is off the top of your head the best name of a special oh in the last 10 years oh you know I did like Sandler's last one is
00:49:46
great new one is great this the title of his last one was pretty cool certified fresh because I had um Critics critic's
00:49:55
Choice was the name of one of my special and for years people thought I was oh because Adam was getting so many
00:50:03
Rotten Tomatoes he always gets on certified fresh which means you got lots of good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes yeah and now his latest special has 90%
00:50:14
positive on run tomato so I'm sure have to go change yeah that's a great one yeah I uh that's out now check that one
00:50:21
out it's called I love you I check it out called I love you it's very cool and very and different hilarious MH he's
00:50:28
always got good people involved doing those things yeah um okay thanks Dan it was nice to meet you and um and uh enjoy
00:50:35
the show tonight remember just try to make the people happy I'm running right there from
00:50:41
here okay see you bye this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Heather Santoro
00:50:54
and Greg Holtzman hope you you liked it m [Music]