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[Music]
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Kiwis love a
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thirst. Like Finn, we're making
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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waves. Generate switch online today.
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Paxardi, welcome to my podcast. Thank
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you for having me, mate. It's so I we
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were talking before. Um yeah, I thought
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this is the first time we've met, but
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you said we've met. We had a brief runin
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where you in where I entered your world.
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So I did I did radio for like 6 months
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and then I got fired. Um and we had a
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brief conversation at like some kind of
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event, but this was like I want to say
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nine years ago, right? Yeah. I was I was
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going to ask you about that cuz I
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remember
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um Yeah, radio companies own a whole lot
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of stations. So I was on one station,
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you were on another station called
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George FM. You were doing the breakfast
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show with um my friend Clint Roberts and
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Cara Rickard and it was Yeah. It was a
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very short short stint. Were you were
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Were you fired? I thought you just
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didn't like it or it didn't agree with
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you. It was both. It was both. It was
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both. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We we it was the
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producer of the show needed to shake up
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like I don't know the details of why I
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got hired, but the producer of the show
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came to a stand-up show and saw me do
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what I do, which is standup. and I did
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it well and just made
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an kind of in the- moment decision that
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he was just going to hire me. And that's
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probably not the best way to hire a
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breakfast radio host. It's probably um
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better to hire the person that's been
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grinding away, figuring out the craft,
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learning how to be a good radio host
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rather
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than at that time the 24 year old who's
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just like working on their standup. And
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I kind of got thrown. But at that point,
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when you're a standup, when someone
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says, "Hey, here's an opportunity for
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you to get paid consistently." Like, of
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course, I'm not going to say no. Um, and
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in that situation, there's only two ways
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it could go. Either it goes incredibly
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and I just have this hidden talent for
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radio or it's a train wreck because I
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haven't worked on my craft for the last
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whatever six, five, whatever years that
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other people have. Um, and it turned out
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to be the latter. It was a train wreck.
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But isn't it funny how everything does
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uh work out for a reason in the way it's
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supposed to? Like your your career's
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been fire since then. Like it's it's not
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like, "Oh, that was it. That the radio
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was the chance." Yeah. It's been [ __ ]
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since then. Yeah. I guess I guess it
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like it kind of boils down to how the
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individual allows that thing to manifest
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itself in their life. Like I could have
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got really doom and gloom and really
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down on myself and stopped pushing as
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hard and made assumptions that like
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maybe I'm not meant to be in this
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industry and blah blah blah. That's a
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that's a trajectory that could have been
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very possible, you
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know, but for whatever reason, a
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combination of my upbringing, a
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combination of just my desire to be
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quote unquote successful, a combination
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of having a supportive wife and a and a
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supportive team or like system around
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me. I was able to just understand that
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it was a bad time in my career. There
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were good parts about it, like I really
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enjoyed working with Clint. I really
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enjoyed working with Cara. But it's
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okay. you push that aside. Don't dwell
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on it. Learn from it as much as you can
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and just move on.
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And you say, "My career was fire from
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that point." And that's a very kind
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thing to say. And in a in a macro from a
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macro perspective, I guess that's true
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to a degree, but that doesn't mean that
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from that point till now there wasn't
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other downs. There were other downs as
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well, but it's just about having that.
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It's so much easier said than done, but
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having that mentality of like just
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allowing it to happen, putting it aside,
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and just moving on. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No.
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Well, I mean, growth is never linear, is
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it? It's not like I left your GFM and
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then it's just been up up.
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Um, not at all. But yeah, like to to
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time stamp this from from what there's,
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by the way, there's so much to get into
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in this chat. Um, but we're diving
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straight in with some of it. So, you did
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you got you decided you wanted to do
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comedy. You did that for a couple of
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years. You were earning like 30 grand a
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year or something. There was a couple of
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years where it was less. Then there was
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a moment where you're you're a dad of
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two. Um I think your youngest was a
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newborn baby and you wanted to go to
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they wanted you you as a family you want
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to go to Butterfly Creek. Yes. Uh why do
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you know this? I've listen I've done a
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lot of research. You have I said this in
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an interview somewhere in a podcast.
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Yeah. Oh wow. And then um and then you
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realized, oh I I can't afford this. I
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need to get a job. So you went and
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studied at Teachers College for a year.
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Yes. Oh, two years. Two years. Yeah. So
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the first year was I was doing comedy at
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the same time. And then the second year
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of teachers college, I was like, I'm
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done. I need I want I need to get good
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grades. I need to like nail this. So I
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put comedy aside and and really like
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knuckle down and try to and I did well
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at university. Yeah. For that one year.
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And it was your wife that said, I can
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tell you, you know, the fire's not
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burning. You need to go back to what you
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love. And I suppose the Georgia where
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I'm going with this and the the George
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FM thing came a short time after that.
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Yes. Yeah. So what happened was Yeah.
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You're bang on at at the end of that
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year. My wife said like, "You're sad,
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aren't you?" And I was like, "No, no,
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you know, trying to keep up the facade."
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I'm like, "No, it's good. It's good.
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I'm, you know, I'll be a teacher and
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it's a consistent paycheck." And I
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actually genuinely enjoyed teaching. And
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it kind of makes sense because there are
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a lot of transferable skills when, you
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know, um, stand up to teaching. Like
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teaching is a level of performance. Like
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you have to learn how to hold a room of
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people's attention using performance
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skills while at the same time conveying
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information, right? So like there's a
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lot of crossover. So it made sense that
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I was good at teaching and enjoyed it.
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But it wasn't standup. And my wife was
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like, I can tell. So I went back and it
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was really it was it was a really
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bizarre experience. And honestly to this
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day, if you ask me like Pax, can you can
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you explain to me what happened? I still
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can't really explain to you what
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happened. But I came back after one year
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in 2020. No, sorry.
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2014. Zero standup in 2014. Not a single
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bit of standup. Nothing. Just go to uni,
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get good grades as the best grades I
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could possibly get, and be a dad and be
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a husband. Then in 2015, I go back to
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standup. And all of a sudden, like my
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ability on stage just went boom like
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that. I just all of us something clicked
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where
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like I felt so much more comfortable on
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stage. Um I kind of knew who I was more
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on stage and I don't really know what
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happened. It could be that just that one
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year of maturing allowed me to be a more
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comfortable comedian. That one year of
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like just going to uni, paying bills,
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just being like just a solid dad and
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like having to deal with life may maybe
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made me a better comedian. I don't know.
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But I came back in 2015 and I was a
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better comedian than I ever was in the
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years before. And it was at that time I
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didn't know what was going on, but I
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just rode the wave. And even now I'm
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like can't really tell you what
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happened. It just happened. Unreal.
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Yeah. Maybe it's getting out of that
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sort of comedy bubble for a period of
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time. M maybe and just living.
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And then in 2016, I did I did the comedy
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gala and I did a bit where I I talked
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about how I pretended to be Tongen to
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get away from the terrorist jokes and
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that bit exploded and that yeah it kind
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of changed my career. And then from
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there I got on George which wasn't a
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good experience but still a learning
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experience. Um and and television yeah
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from there the wave just kind of kept
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going. Yeah, man. We get to drill down
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into all of this. I'm so excited. How
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How much time have you got? It's like
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9:00 a.m. now. You got to pick your kids
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up at 3:00. I got I got to pick my mom
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up from the airport at around midday.
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Okay. But I've got We're good. We got a
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couple of hours. Um
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like that.
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Cool. Okay. Um I got you a little
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present. Do you want it now or at the
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end? I'm going to give it to you now.
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That's very kind. I I know. I don't
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think a podcast host has ever given me a
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present. Um, can I open it? Yes. Yeah.
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And a lot of thoughts gone into this,
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but it's not weird to open it. No. No.
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And I I don't want you to pretend. I I
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want your natural reaction, you know.
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Okay. Maybe it's a good present. Maybe
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it misses the mark. I don't know. No,
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no, that's okay. Would you like me to be
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honest if it misses the mark? Yes,
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completely. Oh, no way. This is so good.
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Oh, this is so cool.
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You know that Ellen DeGeneres is one of
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my favorite comics ever. Yeah, I found
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it so I've heard it in a couple of chats
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and it's so random, but it's really
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random, but I love this is really cool.
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It's in in pristine condition as well.
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Yeah. New York Times bestseller.
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That came out in 1996. So, how old were
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you in 96? Five. Five. Yeah. Yeah. So
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why yeah why so whenever people think of
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Ellen they think of um the the talk show
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host that be kind to each other do the
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dance and she's real mean behind the
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scenes but there was a lot of Ellen
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there was a lot of Ellen before that. So
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you Yes. So Ellen was like one of your
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early sort of influences before you knew
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you wanted to do comedy. Ellen Ellen I
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just I just even even when I got into
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comedy like I loved Ellen. I still do. I
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still do. I I even in the context of the
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talk show, like when people think of her
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in the in the context of the talk show,
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I think people use language that imply
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that it's a little bit corny, but I
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think if you watch it from a real
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critical perspective in terms of comedy,
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she's actually razor sharp. Like her
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ability to
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maneuver relatively mundane situations
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and still get clear, consistent laughs
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from the audience who, to be fair, are
00:09:56
there because they love Ellen. So, it's
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a little bit easier, but she's still
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razor sharp. But the Ellen of the 80s
00:10:03
and early 90s, the HBO specials are
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still to this day some of my favorite
00:10:07
specials and are just like it's such
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good standup and such funny, clever,
00:10:14
well-written standup that Yeah, I just I
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just I just loved it. I And I still do.
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It's not something that was in the past.
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It still is. I'll still every now and
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then go back and watch one of her
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specials just cuz I love it. Well, she's
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really clever as well. And a lot of
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people won't even remember this, but um
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so she had a like a a Seinfeld style
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show. Yes. What's it called? Was it
00:10:33
called Allan? It was called Alan. Right.
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And she came and and I think she was a
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bookshop owner called Buy the Book or
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something like that. Yes. And she she
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came out in one of those episodes and it
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was like a a a pivotal moment. It's like
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is her career going to survive coming
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out? And you look back now under the
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2025 lens and it seems crazy. Yeah. But
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I mean that was a real It's so
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interesting to think that that was a
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genuine
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um for her that was something that was
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like a genuine deep fear of like I'm
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going to do this because I I need to but
00:11:04
it could be the end of my career. But
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you're right like you think back now and
00:11:06
you're like at one point she was the
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most famous person on the planet. I
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would say like 2010 to 20 I don't know
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15 like there was kind of no one more
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famous than Ellen. So from that context
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yeah you're right. It is. It is bizarre.
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But yeah, you would look at me and you
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would look at my standup or you would
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look at the things that I've done and
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you wouldn't assume that Ellen is like
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one of my favorites of all time, but
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yeah, she is. So, this is a very cool
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gift. Thank you very much. Oh, no
00:11:30
worries. You're welcome. I appreciate
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you being here today. Yeah. Yeah. No, I
00:11:32
appreciate it. Who else? Who else would
00:11:34
you You'd be too young for like sort of
00:11:36
standup comedy Eddie Murphy, like
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Delirious. And I was too young. I was
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too young for it release, but I but I
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did absorb it.
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Like do you you remember C4? Yes. C4.
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For those who don't remember C4, I
00:11:52
assume most do, but for those who don't
00:11:54
remember C4, it was it was literally
00:11:56
channel 4, but it was called C4. And it
00:11:58
would it was a combination of like
00:12:00
music, but also like edgier television
00:12:02
shows. Clark Gayford was doing a show on
00:12:04
it. Clark Gayford had a show on it. Yes.
00:12:06
And uh C4 like at like 11:30 or 12 would
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play like comedy specials. And I
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remember one time my parents
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uh left me with my granddad and they
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went out with friends or I don't know
00:12:24
they went out somewhere to get dinner
00:12:25
with friends or something and it was
00:12:26
just me and my granddad. And my granddad
00:12:28
is like pretty irresponsible when it
00:12:31
comes to like looking after kids. Not in
00:12:32
a not in any way that put me in danger,
00:12:35
but like I could just like have ice
00:12:36
cream for dinner and like just do
00:12:37
whatever and hang around. And so I just
00:12:39
stayed up and watched TV with him. and
00:12:41
Eddie Murphy Delirious came on and I was
00:12:45
like maybe 12, 13 and I was like
00:12:47
mesmerized by this man in a leather
00:12:49
jumpsuit making people laugh. I was like
00:12:52
why is the why is the nutty professor
00:12:55
like what is he doing? Why is this why
00:12:57
is the nutty professor telling people
00:12:59
drugs? Um and my grandfather doesn't
00:13:02
doesn't understand English that well. So
00:13:05
all the stuff that's like not
00:13:06
appropriate for a 12-year-old it was
00:13:07
going over his head. So, I was kind of
00:13:09
like in this weird safety pocket of like
00:13:12
being able to watch Eddie Murphy
00:13:14
Delirious. Um, and that was that was
00:13:17
also a pivotal moment for me where I saw
00:13:20
stand up for the first time and it like
00:13:23
hit me. And then after that, I didn't
00:13:25
really think about standup, but the but
00:13:28
the I guess you could say the seed was
00:13:31
planted like that moment was put was
00:13:34
planted where later when I reacquainted
00:13:36
myself with standup by discovering Ellen
00:13:39
Specials and other standup products. I
00:13:42
was like, "Oh yeah, this thing." And
00:13:43
then fell in love with it as like a
00:13:45
teenager, older teenager. Yeah.
00:13:48
Yeah. It's funny how the seed gets
00:13:49
planted on these things, eh? And then
00:13:51
how it manifests. What would you be
00:13:53
doing otherwise? I really wanted to be
00:13:55
an architect. That's what I wanted to
00:13:57
do. My my mom somewhere in her house
00:13:59
still has like a clear file folder of
00:14:02
all these houses I designed as like a 10
00:14:05
to 14 year old. Yeah, that's what I
00:14:07
wanted to do. Yeah. I feel like I, you
00:14:09
know, you're talking about your
00:14:10
granddad. Um, and now you just mentioned
00:14:12
your mom. I I feel like I kind of know
00:14:14
them. I don't know how much I do because
00:14:16
I I I hand on heart, this wasn't even on
00:14:19
my radar, but you you've done this two
00:14:21
seasons of this amazing TV show called
00:14:23
Raised by Refugees. Yeah. Thank you,
00:14:24
man. For anyone that's got Neon. Um you
00:14:26
can watch it on Neon. It's kind of like
00:14:28
um a little bit of Meet the Goldbergs, a
00:14:30
little bit of Everybody Hates Chris,
00:14:32
which is a Chris Rock show that I know
00:14:33
you like as well. Um little bit of I
00:14:36
tried to inject a little bit of Malcolm
00:14:37
in the middle in there. Um I can see
00:14:39
that. Yeah, but that's very kind of you.
00:14:41
Um but this this is a great show. I I
00:14:43
want it. So, it's based on your
00:14:44
upbringing and your family dynamic.
00:14:46
Yeah. What percentage is um like fact
00:14:49
and what percentage is fiction? It's a
00:14:51
really good question. I never wanted to
00:14:53
I never wanted
00:14:54
to imply to the audience that this is
00:14:57
like a moment for moment recreation.
00:14:59
It's loosely based on on my life, but
00:15:03
there is a lot of stuff in there that is
00:15:08
that unfolds exactly the way it unfolded
00:15:10
in real life. And the kind of ironic
00:15:13
thing, I want to say the sad thing, but
00:15:14
it's not it's it's not sad. I The
00:15:17
interesting thing is that the stuff
00:15:20
that's the saddest is usually the stuff
00:15:22
that's the most accurate. The stuff
00:15:24
that's the funnest and the silliest and
00:15:26
and kind of pulls the laughter out is
00:15:28
the stuff that I've made up to entertain
00:15:30
the audience. other stuff that hurts the
00:15:33
characters is usually the stuff that
00:15:35
I've just taken from real life and put
00:15:36
it in which is a sad truth but
00:15:39
um it's also not sad because it allowed
00:15:42
me to make a television show. Yeah. Is
00:15:45
it like the Shakespeare? What's the
00:15:46
Shakespeare quote? It's something like
00:15:47
tragedy plus time equals comedy or
00:15:49
something. I don't know if that's
00:15:51
Shakespeare. Maybe it is
00:15:54
Shakespeare. I don't know. Maybe it's
00:15:55
Chris Rock. I don't know. Um okay. So
00:15:58
yeah. Yeah. So there's there's a story
00:16:00
line in um Raised by Refugees where you
00:16:02
have a wet dream and Yes. you end up
00:16:04
putting your your your sheets your
00:16:06
soiled sheets in the in the freezer. Um
00:16:09
that that didn't happen. Uh that I did
00:16:13
soil my sheets in my younger years and I
00:16:16
did hide my soiled sheets somewhere but
00:16:20
it wasn't the the freezer was again an
00:16:22
element to make it funnier. Um it was
00:16:25
yeah you take things essentially what
00:16:27
you do is you take things that happened
00:16:28
in real life and because you got to fill
00:16:30
a 25minute episode you heighten it and
00:16:32
heighten it and heighten it. So the
00:16:34
version that happened is a lot more
00:16:36
mundane. I also it also on in that
00:16:39
episode it collides with Guyfork's day
00:16:42
that didn't happen in real life. That's
00:16:43
just a funny that you add that to make
00:16:45
it kind of heightened. So yeah you take
00:16:48
the thing that happened in real life
00:16:50
what actually happened is a little more
00:16:51
mundane and a little more
00:16:52
run-of-the-mill. you saw your sheets,
00:16:54
you hide them, your parents catch you,
00:16:56
they have a chat with you, you move on
00:16:57
with your life in the in the show, you
00:17:00
got to heighten it um to
00:17:03
to entertain, I guess, and and make it
00:17:06
funny and and and um keep the story
00:17:08
moving as as quickly as it possibly can.
00:17:10
Oh, just never let the truth get in the
00:17:12
way of a good story. Yeah, exactly. Add
00:17:14
some tags to it. Um also, did your
00:17:16
parents actually did have a chat with
00:17:18
you like a like a puberty chat? They
00:17:20
didn't just let it go. That's what
00:17:22
Michael We never had any discussion at
00:17:24
all. But in the in the episode, uh, the
00:17:27
chat is a bit of a train wreck and it
00:17:29
was also a train wreck in real life.
00:17:31
Like it was truly the most uncomfortable
00:17:34
situation I've ever had. And so that
00:17:35
yeah, I tried to recreate that in the
00:17:37
episode, but um, yeah, go watch it if
00:17:39
you want to. Oh yeah, it's it's
00:17:41
wonderful. And there's two seasons of
00:17:42
it. Raised by refugees on Neon for
00:17:43
anyone that hasn't. How had I never
00:17:45
heard of it? Have I been living under a
00:17:47
rock? Should I have heard of it? Uh, I
00:17:49
don't know if you should have heard of
00:17:51
it. I mean, there is like a rabid fan
00:17:53
base, but I would I Yeah, I don't think
00:17:56
it's crazy to say that it's like
00:17:57
somewhat of a niche show. Um, but
00:18:00
there's defin I definitely have It
00:18:01
definitely has um a largeish fan base
00:18:05
that loves it. But I wouldn't call my
00:18:07
show mainstream by any by any stretch.
00:18:09
Did it do well though? Did it perform
00:18:10
well? Season 1 definitely performed
00:18:12
well. Um, and season two was fine. It
00:18:16
wasn't bad. It wasn't. It was Yeah, it
00:18:18
was not good enough for a season 3.
00:18:19
Exactly. Yeah. The the the lack of a
00:18:21
season 3 tells you the qual the the
00:18:24
quality of viewership of of season 2,
00:18:26
but I think um um season two,
00:18:29
ironically, even though season one did
00:18:31
better than season two, and I don't know
00:18:32
if you've seen season two, and it's fine
00:18:33
if you haven't. Two episodes of it last
00:18:35
night. Yeah, season two is the one that
00:18:37
um I really tried to push emotionally. M
00:18:41
um it once you get to episode five and
00:18:43
four four five and six um it goes to
00:18:47
places that it was even hard for me to
00:18:48
write. Um and I think
00:18:52
that maybe that's kind of more
00:18:54
commercial like less commercially viable
00:18:57
because season one was it season one
00:18:59
touched on things that matter but in a
00:19:03
more kind of fun for the whole family
00:19:06
broader way that everyone can kind of
00:19:07
feel connected to it. And I tried to do
00:19:10
that with season 2, but also pushed
00:19:12
myself to go to places that for me and
00:19:15
my family really hurt and still really
00:19:17
hurt, but um I think is important to
00:19:21
share and kind of like needs to be
00:19:24
shared. So maybe that was part of it
00:19:25
that season 2 was a little less
00:19:28
commercially kind of leaned less to the
00:19:30
commercial side and more to like the
00:19:31
dramatic side, but there's still people
00:19:34
that really
00:19:35
um loved it and have let me know that
00:19:37
they love it. But yeah, no season 3.
00:19:39
Well, I was I was surprised. I loved it.
00:19:41
I loved it. Very kind, man. Okay. Um,
00:19:43
yeah, since we're there, let's talk
00:19:45
about the um the early years. So, first
00:19:46
of all, earliest memories. You're you're
00:19:48
a Kiwi kid through and through. Born and
00:19:50
raised in NZ. Yeah, man. Earliest Oh,
00:19:53
far out. Earliest
00:19:55
memory. My earliest memory is growing up
00:19:59
in
00:20:00
Massie. Um, being So, something crazy
00:20:04
happened when I was a kid.
00:20:08
uh that wasn't in the show because it
00:20:09
was what what what I'm about to talk
00:20:12
about is was much earlier than when the
00:20:13
show was set. But my entire family ended
00:20:16
up on the same street. So it was me,
00:20:19
which is kind of a show in itself, but
00:20:21
it was my my parents and and me, my
00:20:23
grandparents were next door to us. My
00:20:26
great uncle lived up the road and then
00:20:28
my dad's brother, so my uncle lived
00:20:30
further up the road. So like five four
00:20:32
families and then my great auntie just
00:20:35
lived around the corner. So, we were all
00:20:36
on one road, which were like was a shock
00:20:39
to all the white people that lived on
00:20:40
that road, but all these like in the,
00:20:42
you know, in the early '9s, all these
00:20:45
Iranian people showing up was a bit of a
00:20:48
shock. We had like a goat in the
00:20:49
backyard and everyone was like, "What is
00:20:52
going on?"
00:20:53
Um um but my earliest memory was waking
00:20:57
up in the morning
00:20:59
and just get like putting on my clothes
00:21:01
and I'm like six at the time, five, and
00:21:04
just walking out of the house and
00:21:06
walking up the road to my great uncle's
00:21:09
house because my c my dad's cousin, my
00:21:11
great uncle's son was not much older
00:21:14
than me and just playing Double Dragon
00:21:16
on his Seeker Master System. That's my
00:21:18
earliest memory. Yeah, that's a great
00:21:21
foundation memory. Yeah. Yeah, it's
00:21:23
cool. Yeah. I don't think I can't
00:21:24
remember the last time anyone asked me
00:21:25
for my earliest memory, but that Yeah,
00:21:27
that's the that's as far back as I can
00:21:29
go. Yeah. So, your your parents, they
00:21:30
came to New Zealand as refugees with
00:21:32
$27. Yes. Um Iranian dad, Pakistani mom.
00:21:36
Yes. So, you you paraphrasing here very
00:21:40
much so. So, your your dad was sort of
00:21:41
um forced to leave Iran because life was
00:21:43
getting very difficult. So, he went to
00:21:45
Pakistan. Yes. Um met your mom who was a
00:21:48
nurse. So stalk kind of stalked her in a
00:21:51
way. Yeah. They got himself admitted to
00:21:54
hospital just to slide in there. Yeah.
00:21:57
So was staying in and then they came to
00:21:59
New Zealand as refugees. Was staying in
00:22:01
Pakistan not an option. So I think the
00:22:03
real issue was my dad's parents and
00:22:06
great aunties and uncles came to
00:22:07
Pakistan were like we have to get out of
00:22:09
here. Like this is not a country that we
00:22:10
feel safe in or comfortable in. And so
00:22:12
my dad started the asylum process where
00:22:14
he said we don't want to stay here, but
00:22:17
we also can't go back to
00:22:19
um Iran because we'll probably be shot
00:22:23
immediately. Um and it's we can't be
00:22:25
here because my parents can't speak the
00:22:27
language at all. They'll just be in
00:22:28
their apartment day in and day out and
00:22:30
they'll lose their minds. Um and so he
00:22:34
started the asylum process
00:22:36
and the only two countries that accepted
00:22:39
him were America and New Zealand. no one
00:22:41
else all the European countries he got
00:22:43
denied not for any particular reason
00:22:45
just you know countries have quotas you
00:22:47
can't just get accepted to every country
00:22:49
that's not how being a refugee works you
00:22:50
know so it was only America and New
00:22:52
Zealand and for whatever reason even to
00:22:55
this day my dad doesn't really know why
00:22:57
he just chose New Zealand and he said I
00:22:59
want to go there could they speak
00:23:00
English at the time or was there no no
00:23:02
they couldn't speak English and my dad
00:23:06
pushed himself to learn Punjabi because
00:23:09
my they they went to um Lahore which is
00:23:13
the within the region of Punjab in
00:23:15
Pakistan. So Punjab is one of the few
00:23:17
reg one of the few states in the world
00:23:19
that crosses two countries Pakistan and
00:23:22
and India and so he was in the Punjabi
00:23:24
part of Pakistan and he pushed himself
00:23:26
to learn some Punjabi and my dad even
00:23:28
still speak some some of it today. Um
00:23:31
but no no no English no um no Punjabi
00:23:36
other than my dad having like
00:23:37
conversational level. Yeah. So what
00:23:39
about you? So you're you're they they
00:23:41
become refugees in New Zealand. You're
00:23:42
born a year later. Um where where do you
00:23:44
learn English? Are they are they trying
00:23:46
to speak English in the house? No, no,
00:23:48
no. Farsy was my first language. So
00:23:50
Farsy is the language of Iran. Farsy was
00:23:51
my first language because my mom had
00:23:53
left her entire family and moved to New
00:23:57
Zealand with her whole Iranian side of
00:24:00
the family, her in-laws. She had to
00:24:02
learn Farsy because no one no one speaks
00:24:04
English other than my dad and my uncle
00:24:06
kind of scraping together English.
00:24:09
Obviously now they're fluent, but that's
00:24:10
what 30 years later. So yeah, Farsy was
00:24:13
my first language. I mean, I remember,
00:24:16
this is not my earliest memory, but it's
00:24:17
pretty close to my earliest memory. I
00:24:19
remember going to school and not
00:24:20
understanding anyone and being like,
00:24:22
what is going on? But I was born here,
00:24:25
but Farsy was the only language I really
00:24:26
knew. And I remember the first year of
00:24:28
primary school being like, I don't know
00:24:30
what anyone's saying. And I remember
00:24:32
that thought. I remember that thought
00:24:34
going like, what am I supposed to do?
00:24:36
like the honestly it was like Charlie
00:24:39
Brown like the teacher literally sounded
00:24:41
like wa to me and I was like I I don't
00:24:44
know what to
00:24:45
do and it took me like a year I would
00:24:48
say by the third year of primary school
00:24:51
I was like good I was good to go I was
00:24:53
like fluent and and which is incredible
00:24:56
that kids like pick it up that quickly
00:24:59
but um yeah the first year was really
00:25:01
tough the second year was a bit better
00:25:02
and then by the third year I was I was
00:25:04
sweet. Yeah, I've had a couple of other
00:25:06
um refugees on the podcast. I had this
00:25:08
guy Don Ha who was a refugee from um
00:25:10
Vietnam and then Hong Kong came to New
00:25:12
Zealand when he was seven um and another
00:25:14
guy called Abas Nazari who's from
00:25:16
Afghanistan and was part of that um the
00:25:18
Tampa thing that Australia didn't want.
00:25:20
And um both both every every member of
00:25:24
both those families has done
00:25:25
exceptionally well. Yeah.
00:25:27
And and it just
00:25:29
seems like it's it's um it's incredible
00:25:32
and it's inspiring, but it seems
00:25:33
heartbreaking at the same time. Like
00:25:34
especially for the the the parents, like
00:25:37
you come here, you're stripped of your
00:25:38
identity and everything, you know, and
00:25:39
you basically got to start start new.
00:25:42
It's must be very very difficult as an
00:25:44
adult. Well, sometimes I think to myself
00:25:46
like how did my like now my uncle is a
00:25:49
lecturer at university in Wellington.
00:25:52
My dad is like a successful businessman
00:25:54
and like very recently sold all his
00:25:57
businesses for an amount of money that
00:26:00
most people will never see. And I think
00:26:02
to myself and that's not to brag. That's
00:26:04
I mean I missed the boat on that. I I
00:26:06
was I was raised by like struggling
00:26:08
refugee parents. He made his money when
00:26:10
I left. I was like 19 and was like I'm
00:26:13
going to go become a standup and that's
00:26:14
when he hit it financially. I was like
00:26:15
great. Um I don't get to reap any of
00:26:18
that. Um but but I sometimes reflect
00:26:22
back and I go like what like it's
00:26:24
incredible. You come here with you don't
00:26:26
know the language and you and you have
00:26:28
lit you have a couple hundred bucks cash
00:26:31
in your pocket. You don't know the
00:26:33
systems. You don't know the
00:26:34
infrastructure. You don't know the
00:26:36
protocol. Like when you go to a
00:26:38
restaurant, you don't exactly know how
00:26:39
to act yet. Like do I go up to the
00:26:41
person? Do I just sit down straight
00:26:43
away? Do I Yes, there's some shared
00:26:45
values in all countries, but
00:26:46
everything's a little bit different, you
00:26:47
know? And so to go from that to then
00:26:50
like successful lecturer, successful
00:26:52
business operator, this that it's like
00:26:55
sometimes I think like how I don't know
00:26:57
if I'd be because I think I think about
00:26:59
myself as like this privileged like born
00:27:01
in New Zealand, raised in New Zealand,
00:27:03
understand New Zealand culture and
00:27:04
systems very well. this is where I feel
00:27:07
comfortable when I go back when I go to
00:27:09
other countries for work like LA or
00:27:11
Sydney or whatever to do standup or or
00:27:13
television
00:27:14
stuff like after a week all I want to do
00:27:17
is come here because here is where I
00:27:20
feel like I I I'm the most comfortable
00:27:23
and I think to myself if I was in that
00:27:24
situation I don't know if I would be as
00:27:26
successful as them how like how did they
00:27:29
do it and I and I the only thing I can
00:27:31
really put my finger on is
00:27:35
especially especially for my family, but
00:27:36
this probably applies to a lot of
00:27:37
refugee families from all different
00:27:39
walks of life and different
00:27:40
backgrounds. There is a deep desire to
00:27:44
not be seen as a burden because you come
00:27:47
to a country not as a financial as a as
00:27:50
a economic migrant because an economic
00:27:52
migrant comes with intrinsic things to
00:27:56
offer. I have money to spend in your
00:27:57
economy. I have university degrees that
00:28:00
I can use here to then keep things
00:28:03
moving in terms of like my contribution
00:28:04
to society etc etc. When you come here
00:28:07
as a refugee the country is saying we'll
00:28:10
take you on. And so I think there is a
00:28:12
burning desire to prove to everyone even
00:28:16
though you don't know their names and
00:28:17
they don't know you and you've never had
00:28:18
a conversation with the person you're
00:28:19
walking past but you want to prove to
00:28:21
them internally I am not a burden on
00:28:23
this country. I know you gave me a shot,
00:28:25
but I will I promise you I will
00:28:28
contribute. And I think that's the thing
00:28:31
that drives a lot of refugee families.
00:28:34
And this is not everyone cuz I don't
00:28:36
want to make a blanket statement, but
00:28:37
there is a large number of refugee
00:28:39
families that do to varying degrees make
00:28:42
something of themselves. Punch above
00:28:43
their weight. For sure. Yes. Yeah. Did
00:28:45
you Yeah. So your dad made his fortune
00:28:48
um in Godfree. Yes. God. How many stores
00:28:52
did he have? He had at one point he had
00:28:53
four. Damn. It's such an unusual
00:28:55
business. Like it is. It is. How many
00:28:58
How often are people buying vacuum
00:28:59
cleaners? Way more than you'd think. And
00:29:01
they're all they're all old and retired
00:29:02
and have way too much money. So, they
00:29:05
come to a spec like a boutique vacuum
00:29:07
cleaner store and we're selling them
00:29:08
$25,000 vacuum cleaners. It's
00:29:10
ridiculous. I was even on the floor
00:29:12
selling. I was like a little 14-year-old
00:29:15
salesman cuz my dad was like, "I'm not
00:29:16
hiring someone. You work." Um, and so I
00:29:19
was like out there selling vacuum
00:29:21
cleaners. Did you um I mean obviously
00:29:24
now as as a as a man with your own kids,
00:29:26
you must have more of appreciation of
00:29:28
the sacrifices your parents made and
00:29:30
just how difficult things were for them.
00:29:32
As as a kid, when you reflect on that,
00:29:34
yeah, what did you think of it? Did did
00:29:36
you think did you think about it at all
00:29:38
or No, not at all. I just wanted to buy
00:29:41
Yu-Gi-Oh cards and like, you know, and
00:29:44
like just
00:29:46
Yeah. Yeah. and just go skateboarding
00:29:48
with my mates. You don't think about it.
00:29:50
Eh, and And um but the signs are
00:29:53
obvious. Like there was a time when my
00:29:56
dad really wanted to get a degree. He
00:29:58
didn't need to cuz he was making okay
00:30:01
money. He had like a couple he had he
00:30:03
was a Tyler and then drove taxis at
00:30:06
night. Um and but on the weekends would
00:30:08
also manage a
00:30:09
KFC. Um Oh, three jobs. Yeah. Yeah. And
00:30:14
just out of necessity or to to try and
00:30:16
get out of necessity, but also the the
00:30:18
deep the hustle is deep.
00:30:21
All all the migrants and all the
00:30:24
children of migrants and refugees
00:30:25
listening to this will know exactly what
00:30:26
I mean. The hustle is deep. You could
00:30:29
sit down, look at my dad's finances back
00:30:31
then and go, if he dropped one of those
00:30:34
jobs, he'd still probably be fine. Not
00:30:36
like living lavish, but fine. You know,
00:30:38
pay the bills, have a little bit extra
00:30:40
for, you know, doing fun stuff every now
00:30:42
and then, but that's not good enough.
00:30:44
You know, the the hustle to like get
00:30:46
ahead is really strong. Um, and at one
00:30:50
point he decided, I need to get a
00:30:51
degree. I don't feel like someone who's
00:30:54
respected in society if I don't have a
00:30:55
degree. So, he dropped all his jobs and
00:30:58
he went to uni and he got an electrical
00:30:59
engineering degree. And we I would come
00:31:02
home from school and one piece of
00:31:05
furniture would be gone. And then I
00:31:07
would come home from school a couple of
00:31:08
days later, another piece of furniture
00:31:09
would be gone. Until we literally had no
00:31:12
furniture in the house. And that's cuz
00:31:13
my dad was studying and my mom was Do
00:31:16
you remember Avon? She was doing Yeah.
00:31:18
Yeah. She was doing Avon, you know, and
00:31:21
we would love it cuz we'd get the Avon
00:31:22
thing and we'd find the smelly page, the
00:31:24
page where you like rub your wrist on
00:31:26
the thing and smell your wrist. Oh my
00:31:28
god, that's a blast from the past. Yeah.
00:31:29
So, she was doing Avon just to like keep
00:31:31
us afloat, but we were just selling
00:31:32
pieces of furniture off and in the
00:31:33
tradein exchange just to like survive
00:31:37
and you know, so the the signs are
00:31:39
there, but as a kid, you don't even
00:31:41
think about it. You're just like, "Oh, I
00:31:42
got basketball training now. Bye." You
00:31:44
know, it's inspirational. Hey, it's insp
00:31:46
it's so inspiring. It's the main reason
00:31:49
why I work so hard now is because I'm
00:31:51
like, who are you to not work hard, you
00:31:53
know? Like, how can you not work hard
00:31:55
when your
00:31:56
parents went through that? Your uncle
00:31:58
went through that, your grandp Man, my
00:32:00
grand my dad, my granddad just kind of
00:32:02
like mowed lawns and trimmed people's
00:32:04
trees like a madman until he had enough
00:32:07
to buy a house. And he bought a house
00:32:09
off that, you know. And granted the
00:32:11
house prices were different but the
00:32:13
achievement is not any less impressive
00:32:15
you know and so when I think like who
00:32:17
are who are you to complain to go like I
00:32:20
don't want to do anything today it's
00:32:21
like it's the thing that it's it's the
00:32:25
desire to want to be good at excellent
00:32:28
at what I do combined with this
00:32:30
knowledge of
00:32:31
like the the lack of excuses that I
00:32:34
should have relative to like not just my
00:32:36
parents but all the people out there
00:32:37
that have that have that have given
00:32:40
given up everything to God, all the
00:32:41
different numerous countries and have
00:32:42
made something of themselves. Yeah.
00:32:45
When did you when did you first feel
00:32:47
different? Was it was it at school when
00:32:49
you when you realized you you couldn't
00:32:51
understand what you what people were
00:32:52
saying or I think I first I think I
00:32:56
first felt different when
00:33:01
um I remember we were lining it was my
00:33:04
second year of primary school and my
00:33:05
first year I I definitely felt different
00:33:07
cuz I couldn't understand everyone but
00:33:09
that was that it was too much to deal
00:33:12
with mentally to kind of think of the
00:33:13
specifics. I was just kind of like
00:33:15
trying to get through each day.
00:33:18
and kind of just copying everyone else
00:33:20
so that I'm kind of on the on the same
00:33:22
path. But the moment I felt really
00:33:23
different was um um we were in my second
00:33:27
year of primary school, we were in line,
00:33:29
you know, when the classic line up to go
00:33:30
into the library and you don't go in
00:33:32
until everyone's like behaving. And we
00:33:34
were in line to go into the library and
00:33:36
a boy in the back, I forgot his name,
00:33:38
but a boy in the back yelled, "Oh, what
00:33:40
smells like curry? It must be packs."
00:33:42
And I was like, "Do I?" And I it I
00:33:45
really rocked me for the rest of the
00:33:47
day. And everyone everyone laughed when
00:33:51
he said that. And then everyone kept
00:33:54
doing the gag throughout the rest of the
00:33:55
day. Like they would walk past me and
00:33:56
go, "Oh, something smells like curry."
00:33:58
And would walk past me again. and we
00:34:00
were like six, seven, you know, like
00:34:04
um and it didn't I wasn't like I wasn't
00:34:07
torn apart or I wasn't it wasn't my
00:34:09
world wasn't falling apart but it was
00:34:12
just the first moment where I was
00:34:14
like right I'm different and people are
00:34:19
making note of it and like making it
00:34:22
something that needs to be expressed.
00:34:25
I think that's that's the thing about
00:34:27
bigotry, right? is that it's not really
00:34:30
a thing until someone decides to express
00:34:31
it. If you don't express it, then no one
00:34:33
really cares. We're all just like,
00:34:35
"Yeah, we're just intrinsically the
00:34:36
same. You eat, I eat, you [ __ ] I [ __ ]
00:34:39
We all do the same thing until someone
00:34:41
decides it you they need to express your
00:34:44
difference." Um, uh, that's the only
00:34:47
time. So there, that's kind of the first
00:34:49
memory. That's a horrible story. That's
00:34:50
that's heartbreaking. That stuff's
00:34:52
really damaging, eh? Like, uh, yeah.
00:34:55
Well, it's why I'm a comedian, dog.
00:34:59
That's why I need the approval of a room
00:35:00
of strangers to make myself feel good
00:35:02
about myself.
00:35:04
Yeah. Um, what about your your
00:35:07
your parents' parenting style? This is
00:35:09
probably not something you even thought
00:35:10
about until you became a parent
00:35:11
yourself. Yeah. Um, in terms of like I
00:35:13
thought about it a lot now in terms of
00:35:15
like discipline growing up and the the
00:35:17
vulnerability that they showed you and
00:35:19
things like that. Was there a bunch of
00:35:20
that? Did you ever even see your dad
00:35:22
when you were growing up? No, not
00:35:24
really. And it's something we've spoken
00:35:25
about, me and my dad. And he and he
00:35:27
keeps apologizing about it. And I keep
00:35:29
telling him like, "Thank you for
00:35:31
apologizing, but also like I get it,
00:35:33
man. Like, you had to do what you had to
00:35:36
do. And it's and it's not your fault.
00:35:38
You weren't doing it with the intention
00:35:40
of not seeing your kids. You were doing
00:35:42
it so that your kids could live a life
00:35:45
where where they could have access to
00:35:48
the world really. Um, but still he feels
00:35:52
bad about it. And that's Hey, I don't
00:35:53
want to, you know, I don't want to force
00:35:55
him to not feel bad about it. It's his
00:35:57
feelings and if he feels that, he feels
00:35:58
that. But we've spoken about it and it
00:36:01
is what it is. And my parents
00:36:04
were they were pretty stock stand I
00:36:06
don't want to say stock standard, but
00:36:07
they were pretty quintessential migrant
00:36:10
or refugee parents. Like they did
00:36:12
struggle a little bit with with um being
00:36:16
vulnerable like emotionally, but
00:36:19
you know, I don't know. I think that's
00:36:20
Kiwi parents as well. Yeah, I think
00:36:22
Yeah. of that of that generation. Yes. I
00:36:24
I was just about to say like I I I don't
00:36:26
think that's solely unique to migrant
00:36:29
parents. I think that generation
00:36:32
kind of all struggled with with um with
00:36:35
being vulnerable because that was just
00:36:37
kind of the time like back then it was
00:36:39
like parents aren't your friends, man.
00:36:41
They're your parents and they they
00:36:43
either discipline you or tell you how to
00:36:45
live or like pay for things for you and
00:36:48
that's kind of it really. And this new
00:36:51
age kind of movement of like parents
00:36:53
kind of forming a friendship with their
00:36:55
kids while at the same time parenting is
00:36:57
so new. And like my parents are like,
00:36:58
"What are you doing? Like why are you
00:37:00
playing card games with your kids?
00:37:02
You're not meant to play with your
00:37:03
kids." And you're like, "You can't you
00:37:05
could have like hung out with me, you
00:37:07
know, to play with your kids." Yeah.
00:37:09
Yeah. Um but it's not their fault. They
00:37:12
were just doing what they knew, you
00:37:14
know, and it is what it is. But also my
00:37:16
dad was trying to deal with like intense
00:37:19
trauma and the way he knew how to deal
00:37:22
with intense trauma was go work and not
00:37:26
think about it because if you know some
00:37:29
of the things that my dad has
00:37:31
seen I hope no one ever sees it. Um it's
00:37:35
harrowing and it's stuff of nightmares.
00:37:39
my grand I would you know and I say this
00:37:42
with the utmost love and respect for my
00:37:44
grandfather but like when I would stay
00:37:46
over at my grandparents house there were
00:37:47
nights where I would hear him scream in
00:37:48
his sleep and I you know I don't I don't
00:37:51
think it's fair to get into the details
00:37:53
without them know like knowing that I'm
00:37:55
sharing the details I don't think that's
00:37:56
cuz it's their story and I don't want to
00:37:57
be the one sharing the details but that
00:38:00
yeah it was harrowing stuff that they
00:38:02
have to deal with mentally and they
00:38:04
still kind of are dealing with so as an
00:38:06
adult with perspective I can So, yes,
00:38:09
you weren't around, but also I get it,
00:38:12
man. I understand. And it's not your
00:38:14
fault. You know, you did everything you
00:38:15
had to do to get through and live a
00:38:17
productive life. And, you know, now he's
00:38:19
like, like I said, he's still dealing
00:38:22
with that stuff, but is relatively
00:38:23
happy. You know, he bought his boat and
00:38:25
he goes fishing with his mates and he,
00:38:27
you know, he has his dogs and he plays
00:38:29
golf now and
00:38:31
enjoying the fruits of his Yeah. He's
00:38:32
reaping the Yeah. Yeah. He's reaping the
00:38:34
rewards. He still he told us that he was
00:38:36
going to retire after selling the the
00:38:37
the shops and then um bought another
00:38:42
business cuz he just can't sit down. And
00:38:45
so if you know if you live if you live
00:38:46
anywhere in uh in the Northland Fangad
00:38:49
area, go to um go to flooring designs if
00:38:52
you need any flooring needs. Oh, they I
00:38:55
thought they were in Christ Church. No,
00:38:56
they're all over the place. Oh, no.
00:38:57
They've moved to they've moved to
00:38:59
Northland to be closer to their
00:39:01
grandkids. So they want to be closer to
00:39:03
their grandkids. So they moved to Fare
00:39:06
um so that so that they can interact
00:39:08
with their grandkids more frequently.
00:39:11
And yeah. When when do you think your
00:39:13
parents um have been like most proud and
00:39:15
most disappointed of you?
00:39:19
Wow, what a question. Uh most
00:39:23
proud. Most
00:39:26
proud. I mean, this sounds crazy, but I
00:39:30
think they were the most proud when I
00:39:31
was able to afford a
00:39:32
house. They when I was when I hit the
00:39:36
financial markers that I think that's
00:39:37
when they're the most proud. Um I
00:39:40
suppose it's a tangible measure of
00:39:41
success. It is. It is a tangible measure
00:39:43
of success and it show. It's like the
00:39:46
literal fruits of of my hard work.
00:39:49
um they are very proud when I when when
00:39:51
the creative things are done when are
00:39:53
made but it's so far from what they know
00:39:57
you know like you know even when they
00:39:59
were growing up in Pakistan and Iran
00:40:03
respectively that wasn't something that
00:40:04
anyone aspired to do to be an
00:40:06
entertainer
00:40:08
um well it's just not in
00:40:10
the you know it's just not in not an
00:40:13
option right it's not there it's not so
00:40:16
it's hard it's hard for them to like
00:40:18
really be like really proud of of that
00:40:20
stuff. Even though they tell me that
00:40:22
they're proud, and that's really nice to
00:40:24
hear, I think what they're really proud
00:40:25
of is like the the forward movement of
00:40:29
like life, you know? I can pay for a
00:40:32
house, I can do this, I can do that. Um,
00:40:35
when were they most disappointed?
00:40:40
I think when my mom found out that I had
00:40:45
a
00:40:46
girlfriend and and knew that I would
00:40:49
pash her at
00:40:51
lunchtime is when she was the most How
00:40:54
old? What age?
00:40:56
16 15 16 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Why? Why was
00:40:59
she so disappointed about that? It's
00:41:01
just not what we do. It's just not what
00:41:03
we do. It's just like to her that means
00:41:06
I'm also dealing drugs and I'm in a
00:41:09
gang.
00:41:10
It's a gateway. It's just to her that's
00:41:13
a gateway to like I'm going to now be
00:41:15
running the mafia,
00:41:17
you know? So like yeah, it's not like in
00:41:20
a vacuum that action is not that bad,
00:41:22
but that's not how it works in someone
00:41:24
like my mom's head. It's like I've lost
00:41:26
my son. He's a he's a he's a bad person
00:41:29
now. And obviously that's not true but
00:41:32
you know again the context that they
00:41:33
come from there is no girlfriend
00:41:35
boyfriend there is no
00:41:38
um yeah there is none of that. So yeah I
00:41:41
think that was when she was the most
00:41:42
disappointed and she confronted me about
00:41:43
it. And I think when my dad was the most
00:41:45
disappointed was
00:41:47
when I asked him if I could park the car
00:41:51
in the
00:41:51
garage and my mate was there and I was
00:41:55
clearly trying to impress my mate and so
00:41:58
I drove the car too fast towards the
00:42:00
garage and I took the whole side of the
00:42:01
garage off and my dad had quit like at
00:42:05
that point my dad had quit smoking for
00:42:07
like I think 3 weeks and when that
00:42:10
happened I just saw him like pull out a
00:42:12
cigarette
00:42:13
had an emergency one in the back pocket.
00:42:16
He was so stressed. He was so angry. Um
00:42:19
then I just destroyed the garage cuz I
00:42:21
wanted to look cool and drive the car
00:42:22
fast. Have they um Yeah. Do they like
00:42:25
seeing themselves albeit exaggerated
00:42:27
versions of themselves on TV and raised
00:42:29
by refugees? My mom does
00:42:32
because to be fair to my mom, she has a
00:42:35
great she's a beautiful singing voice
00:42:37
and really loves the idea of the arts
00:42:40
and like being creative but like became
00:42:42
a nurse because you know she just wanted
00:42:44
to have a stable job and just be a
00:42:46
respected member of society. Um but deep
00:42:50
down always wanted to be a performer. So
00:42:52
for my mom it's a little more exciting.
00:42:55
Um, my dad doesn't like it because he's
00:42:58
like, I've spent all these years trying
00:43:00
to like assimilate and forget like these
00:43:03
hard time the early hard times in New
00:43:06
Zealand. And I'm like, yeah, cool, man.
00:43:08
I'm going to make a show for my
00:43:09
financial gain and the entertainment of
00:43:11
the country.
00:43:13
I suppose if um if it's based on your
00:43:16
life, you must feel like everyone's
00:43:18
watching it. Like it's Friends or
00:43:19
something like that. Like, oh my god,
00:43:21
everywhere I go, everyone's looking at
00:43:22
me. Yeah, I heard you tell a story about
00:43:23
your mom and there was um it reminded me
00:43:25
of my my own mom. Like um my mom will
00:43:28
say to me, "Oh, I bought a auto ticket
00:43:29
and yeah, the guy at the kiosk in the
00:43:31
mall. He he he listens to your podcast."
00:43:33
Exactly. I'm like, "How did how did it
00:43:35
get on to that in the car?" My mom will
00:43:37
just walk into stores and just announce,
00:43:39
"Does anyone know society?" And you're
00:43:42
like, "What are you doing?" And she's
00:43:45
like, "Here he is. This is my son." And
00:43:47
you're like, "Oh." Um, and she recently
00:43:50
she went back to work. She she left
00:43:53
work. Um, but she went back to work
00:43:54
recently just cuz she wanted something
00:43:56
to do and was like a bit bored. So, she
00:43:58
wanted to go back to nursing. And she
00:43:59
really loved it. Actually, she loved
00:44:00
going back to nursing. But she went back
00:44:03
to nursing at a time when my star was
00:44:07
kind of rising. And so, she found out
00:44:09
that all the other nurses um knew who I
00:44:12
was. And so, she would walk into that
00:44:14
hospital with like such a strut and be
00:44:16
like, "Yes, I am Pax's mother.
00:44:18
It's so nice about living vicariously
00:44:20
through It's nice. Yeah. I I think my
00:44:23
mom really enjoys it. Like I said,
00:44:24
because deep down the idea of being a
00:44:27
performer or like a singer was something
00:44:30
she loved, the idea of Yeah. But my
00:44:33
dad's like, "Why couldn't you have just
00:44:34
been an
00:44:36
accountant?" Anytime anyone wants him to
00:44:39
be part of any kind of media thing, he's
00:44:40
like, "No, no way." But my mom's like,
00:44:42
"Yeah, I' I'd be interested." My mom
00:44:45
actually makes a cameo um in if you if
00:44:47
you keep watching season 2 also no
00:44:49
pressure but if you will keep watching
00:44:51
season 2 my mom appears in one of the
00:44:52
later episodes cuz I was like mom do you
00:44:54
want to make a cameo? She was like yes
00:44:56
straight away. But my dad was like
00:44:58
absolutely not. I could not give two
00:45:01
shits about your show cuz he he or they
00:45:04
wanted um you to be a doctor. Of course.
00:45:07
Yeah. Respectable. Oh yeah. Yeah. A
00:45:09
doctor. And if not a doctor like a uh
00:45:13
you know pharmacist and if not a
00:45:16
something in medicine you know something
00:45:19
like my mom was like can you work in the
00:45:23
medical aisle of the
00:45:26
Woolworths just something in medicine I
00:45:29
was like there's not a mom there's not a
00:45:31
specific person that works in the
00:45:33
medicine aisle of everyone just kind of
00:45:36
she's like no no they just wanted
00:45:38
something they just wanted something.
00:45:40
They were really banking on cuz I was I
00:45:42
really got into basketball and played
00:45:44
volleyball and was like pretty sporty at
00:45:46
high school. They were hoping I'd become
00:45:47
a physio or something like that, but it
00:45:49
didn't work out. Yeah. So, your parents
00:45:52
um two kids, two sons. Two sons. Um now
00:45:55
you're a dad yourself, two kids. Two
00:45:56
daughters. Two daughters. Um how are you
00:45:58
how are you doing better and and in
00:46:00
which ways are you doing worse than what
00:46:01
they did?
00:46:03
I uh doing better, I think. Um and and
00:46:06
again, this is no slight on my parents
00:46:08
or anyone from the generation before
00:46:11
because we're all just doing the best we
00:46:13
can and dealing with what we know. Oh,
00:46:15
you right now you'll be [ __ ] up your
00:46:16
kids and uh 100% 100%. You're going to
00:46:19
go to therapy in like 15 years and be
00:46:21
like, "My dad played so much Monopoly
00:46:23
Gal with me. My dad played so much Uno
00:46:26
with me and I don't know how to deal
00:46:27
with it."
00:46:29
Um my dad was so present. Yeah, he was
00:46:31
so Why couldn't he just play on his
00:46:32
phone like other dads? Yeah, he came to
00:46:34
every net game. I don't know what to do.
00:46:37
He was so needy.
00:46:41
Um I How am I doing better? I think what
00:46:44
I'm trying to do better but don't know
00:46:46
if I'm doing better
00:46:50
is explaining things. So there was a
00:46:53
real culture and you probably
00:46:54
experienced this as well. I don't think
00:46:56
this is specific to migrant culture, but
00:46:58
there was a real culture of like a
00:47:01
parent telling you what to do. We say
00:47:03
why and they say that it's just because.
00:47:04
Just because. That's how we do it. And
00:47:06
you go what? I'm trying to me and my
00:47:09
wife something we're really focusing on
00:47:11
is having really clear conversation
00:47:14
about why do we not do this? Like when
00:47:17
you know when my I wasn't allowed to do
00:47:20
have sleepovers. people were allowed to
00:47:22
sleep at our house, but I wasn't allowed
00:47:24
to go to anyone else's house. And we're
00:47:26
re we're replicating that. We're doing
00:47:28
that as well with our kids. We're
00:47:29
saying, "You're not allowed to sleep
00:47:30
over at anyone's house, but they if they
00:47:32
want to come and hang out here and have
00:47:34
a sleepover over at our house and their
00:47:36
parents are okay with it, 100% all
00:47:38
good." And my my kids are like, "Why?"
00:47:40
And I remember my parents would just
00:47:41
say, "Because that's what we that's our
00:47:43
culture. That's what we do." And I'm
00:47:44
like, "That's not good enough." Now
00:47:46
we're trying to explore why because I
00:47:50
don't know those parents and even if I
00:47:52
do form a relationship with them, I
00:47:54
don't know who's coming in and out of
00:47:55
their house and I can't trust the people
00:47:57
that are coming in and out of their
00:47:58
house. I don't It's not that I don't
00:48:01
trust you. It's I don't trust the envir
00:48:03
I don't have control over the
00:48:04
environment. When you get to a certain
00:48:07
age and I have faith in your ability to
00:48:10
put to look after yourself, say 13, 14,
00:48:13
15, then we can have a conversation. But
00:48:16
right now, you're too young and it is my
00:48:18
responsibility to look after you. That's
00:48:20
my like biggest job right now. And they
00:48:23
go, it's still annoying, but okay, Dad.
00:48:26
You know, I'm not going to pretend like
00:48:27
this doesn't annoy me, but okay, we get
00:48:31
we get why you're not letting us do this
00:48:33
thing. M and it's not perfect. They
00:48:35
still get frustrated. They still find it
00:48:37
annoying. But I feel like it's a step
00:48:40
I'm trying to take where I never ever
00:48:42
just go, we don't do this. Why? Just
00:48:45
cuz. I need to like explore it with
00:48:47
them. And I feel like that's kind of the
00:48:49
basis of like forming a relationship
00:48:51
with your kids where you there's open
00:48:53
dialogue where I'm being honest with
00:48:55
you. So
00:48:56
hopefully, and I don't know if it will
00:48:58
work perfectly this way, but hopefully
00:49:00
you will be honest with me. And you go,
00:49:02
"Something's happened, Dad." and I go,
00:49:03
"Great. Talk to me. I'm only here to
00:49:06
help you regardless of what's happened."
00:49:08
That's the idea. I don't know if it will
00:49:10
perfectly unfold like that, but that's
00:49:12
the idea. You just I think I think um
00:49:14
every generation does the best they can
00:49:16
with the tools and the resources they
00:49:17
have available at the time. And then and
00:49:19
then the next generation will look at us
00:49:20
and go, "What were they up to?" And
00:49:23
you'll go like, "Hey man, I was just
00:49:24
watching Instagram videos and trying to
00:49:26
like figure it out. What do you want
00:49:28
from me?" Yeah. Oh, that's cool. So,
00:49:31
yes, it's your home life. two two
00:49:33
daughters who are primary school age
00:49:34
now. Great great age. Hey, good age. And
00:49:37
fun age. So you see they still love you,
00:49:40
but you can do fun stuff with them like
00:49:41
go play soccer or watch cool movies and
00:49:43
stuff. Yeah. Do do they Yeah. What do
00:49:46
they sort of know or understand about
00:49:47
what you do for a job?
00:49:49
Now they kind of get it all. Now they
00:49:51
kind of fully understand that like daddy
00:49:53
is a is a goes on stage. He makes people
00:49:56
laugh. He also like writes scripts and
00:49:59
hosts events and they kind of get the
00:50:01
whole picture now. So much so that
00:50:03
they're now trying to form what they
00:50:05
want to do when they grow up.
00:50:07
Um, which is really cool having those
00:50:09
conver having those honest conversations
00:50:11
and them being like really asking me
00:50:14
like can you tell us like what it
00:50:15
actually is like to be a performer and a
00:50:18
comedian and a writer and all this stuff
00:50:19
and I can honestly tell them like hey
00:50:22
sometimes it's awesome and sometimes it
00:50:23
sucks and here's why it sucks and here's
00:50:25
why it's awesome and you actually get to
00:50:27
like dive into the nitty-gritty and
00:50:28
watch their wheels turn and go ah
00:50:30
interesting. So, it's not just all fun.
00:50:32
Like, I get to watch Daddy on this TV
00:50:34
show and it looks really fun, but that
00:50:35
doesn't mean that the job's just fun.
00:50:37
That's really cool and and and and
00:50:40
interesting to watch those wheels turn.
00:50:41
And now they're trying to figure out
00:50:42
what they want to do when they grow up.
00:50:45
Um, and we're really trying to tell we
00:50:47
keep telling them like, "Don't worry
00:50:48
about that. Just be a kid. Like, you
00:50:50
don't have to worry about that stuff."
00:50:51
But they themselves just keep coming
00:50:53
back to it and going like, "But what if
00:50:55
I did this?" You be like, "Yeah, yeah,
00:50:57
that's here's what would be cool about
00:50:58
it. here's what potentially isn't cool
00:51:00
about it. But again, stop thinking about
00:51:02
that and they go, "Okay." And then they
00:51:03
come back to it. It's It's so
00:51:04
interesting. So, say you're out
00:51:06
somewhere with them, like Butterfly
00:51:07
Creek or Rainbow's E. And And now I'm
00:51:10
going to Butterfly Creek every week.
00:51:12
Money's good. Yeah. Money's good. Twice
00:51:14
a week. Yeah. Twice a week.
00:51:18
Yeah. Um, so say strangers come up to
00:51:22
you now. Um, do do they get a kick out
00:51:24
of that or are they annoyed by it?
00:51:27
I think they're mostly annoyed by it.
00:51:30
Yeah, I think they're mostly annoyed by
00:51:32
it. Um I
00:51:35
think they What's interesting is that
00:51:39
the reason they're annoyed by it is
00:51:40
because
00:51:43
um it can at times sometimes it's super
00:51:46
brief and like someone's like, "Hey man,
00:51:48
I really love that thing you do." And I
00:51:50
go, "Cool. Thank you, man." Um and then
00:51:52
sometimes it can really take a chunk out
00:51:54
of your time.
00:51:56
Um because some a lot of people want to
00:51:59
chat, you know, because they're excited
00:52:00
to see you and so they want to talk and
00:52:02
that's okay. Like I
00:52:05
um I think I think I'm quite gracious
00:52:09
and like I'm um cool with like
00:52:12
interacting with people that want to
00:52:14
that have enjoyed something I've
00:52:15
created. Um, and none of my kids say
00:52:18
that it's annoying, but I just can feel
00:52:19
it that like, you know, they're kind of
00:52:22
standing there being like, "All right,
00:52:23
like we're we're at Butterfly Creek."
00:52:26
Like, "Come on, I want to see the
00:52:27
butterflies. I haven't seen them in
00:52:28
three days." Yeah. Um, but man, they're
00:52:32
such good kids. They never complain
00:52:33
about it. Um, but yeah, I think it I
00:52:35
think it does annoy them. So, if you're
00:52:37
out there and you want to and you want
00:52:38
to um tell me that you like something I
00:52:41
do, if you see my kids with me, try and
00:52:44
keep it brief. And but even if you keep
00:52:46
it brief, I will interact with you. I'll
00:52:48
say hi. I'll take a photo. If I'm not
00:52:50
with my kids, it's more of a green light
00:52:52
to be like, "Hey, I want to talk about
00:52:54
this thing you did and tell you how much
00:52:55
I like it." That's more okay. And if I'm
00:52:57
in a rush and if I need to go somewhere,
00:52:58
I'll tell you and just be honest with
00:53:00
you. But yeah, with my kids, I I much
00:53:02
more appreciate it when people are uh uh
00:53:05
quick um about it cuz I've had um Kieran
00:53:08
Reed, former black captain, on the
00:53:10
podcast, and he he said with his kids,
00:53:12
like if he's out at say Bunnings or
00:53:14
somewhere and people come up and they
00:53:15
want to chat rugby and it's it's quite
00:53:17
quite annoying and he said he has to
00:53:19
take his kids to the the shitty play
00:53:20
parks in Christ Church rather than the
00:53:21
Margaret Mayhe one, which is really cool
00:53:23
for that reason. Oh, you Yeah. Oh,
00:53:26
you've got an interaction with Kieran
00:53:27
Reed. I heard this on a I do have an
00:53:29
interaction part of your standup comedy
00:53:30
would have been I heard a Kieran Reed
00:53:32
joke. Yes. Would you like me to tell it?
00:53:34
Yeah. Go on. It's great. And he would
00:53:36
have enjoyed it. I think he enjoyed it.
00:53:38
Yeah. Yeah. I think he enjoyed it. He I
00:53:40
said I said I was doing an interview
00:53:41
with Karen Reed. This is in my radio
00:53:43
years or half a year. My radio half a
00:53:47
year. Um and I said to Karen, um, "Hey
00:53:51
man, did you get burnt this summer?" And
00:53:53
he and this was at the end of the
00:53:54
interview and I was like, "Hey, just a
00:53:56
quick question before you go, Kieran.
00:53:57
Did you get burnt this summer?" And he
00:53:58
said, "No, no, no, I didn't." And I
00:54:00
said, "Oh, yeah, true. Probably because
00:54:02
you've been in Richie Mccle's
00:54:03
[Laughter]
00:54:05
Shadow."
00:54:07
And I think he enjoyed it. It's one of
00:54:10
the It's one of the best oneliner gags
00:54:12
I've ever written. Um, the All Blacks
00:54:15
didn't like it, though. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,
00:54:16
you Yeah. You did um You did a thing,
00:54:19
eh? Like a like an awkward stand-up
00:54:21
comedy routine just for the All Blacks.
00:54:23
Yes. It wasn't that awkward. It started
00:54:25
off awkward, but um at the moment like a
00:54:28
conference room in a in a hotel. A tiny
00:54:30
conference room the size of this room
00:54:33
and I just stood there with no
00:54:35
microphone and just told jokes to a room
00:54:37
of all blacks sitting cross-legged on
00:54:39
the ground. It was really weird. They
00:54:41
were all like sitting like with their
00:54:43
legs crossing their arms crossed like
00:54:44
they were like like I was a guest
00:54:46
speaker at their primary school and they
00:54:49
all just kind of listened attentively.
00:54:51
It was really bizarre but they laughed.
00:54:53
It the beginning of it was hard because
00:54:56
of the weird environment. But once I got
00:54:58
my rhythm um then they started laughing
00:55:01
and it was actually all good. Yeah. But
00:55:03
it was weird. Yeah. It's so
00:55:06
intimidating. It was intimidating and I
00:55:09
Yeah. I I cuz I just made the assumption
00:55:11
that it would just be like in a bigger
00:55:12
conference room. They're going to have
00:55:14
seats and I get to kind of be at the
00:55:17
like a more traditional stage seating
00:55:20
environment, but it was more just like
00:55:22
just stand in a room while they sit
00:55:23
there.
00:55:25
It was really bizarre, but um but still
00:55:28
cool that I got to do stand up for the
00:55:29
All Blacks. It was still It was still a
00:55:31
really cool experience. Yeah. Amazing. I
00:55:33
would never Yeah. I would I if I if they
00:55:36
asked me to do it again and it was the
00:55:38
same environment, I'd probably still say
00:55:39
yes. Yeah. Um yeah, I heard you tell a
00:55:42
joke about that and and you're like,
00:55:44
"Oh, you didn't know who they were, but
00:55:46
you were like, "Oh, you recognize some
00:55:47
of the faces from the scandal." Like,
00:55:49
"Oh, there's a paraplegic toilet guy.
00:55:51
There's Dick Fit Guy." Um and that was
00:55:54
true cuz I'm not a rugby fan. I just
00:55:56
know like the huge names like Richie
00:55:57
Mccau and like, you know, Dan Carter. I
00:56:00
just know I don't know the nitty-gritty
00:56:01
like who's the this guy for the All
00:56:03
Blacks. I don't know. Yeah. Um, so yeah,
00:56:06
I definitely was like just I was
00:56:08
registering scandals rather than names.
00:56:10
Yeah, for sure. But when when you
00:56:12
construct a joke like that, are you
00:56:13
like, "Oh, [ __ ] This is going to get
00:56:14
back to them." And no, no, because like
00:56:18
you're like, "Man, if you think like
00:56:19
that as a comedian, there's there's
00:56:22
there's hurdles everywhere then, you
00:56:24
know? You just got to like as long as
00:56:26
you know that you're not crossing a line
00:56:27
and you're not saying something that
00:56:30
feels unfair, then man, you just got to
00:56:33
let it fly and um trust that you have
00:56:36
the best intentions and you don't have
00:56:37
any intentions to truly hurt anyone's
00:56:39
feelings. If those intentions exist,
00:56:42
then man, just go. Like otherwise, you
00:56:45
can't say anything because then there's
00:56:46
hurdles at every turn, you know? Yeah.
00:56:48
And there's no malice. No malice. And
00:56:50
and the dickpick did happen and the
00:56:52
paraphlegic toilet did. I didn't do it,
00:56:54
man. I didn't do it.
00:56:57
All right. I um So, back to your home
00:56:59
life. So, dad of two. Yeah. Um your wife
00:57:04
uh spent most of her childhood in
00:57:06
Vanuatu, but was born in Canada. Yes.
00:57:08
Speaks five languages. She's a lawyer.
00:57:10
Yes. How did you guys get together? It's
00:57:13
quite So, you got got together when you
00:57:15
were Well, you got married when you were
00:57:16
20 and she was 27. I was 21 and she was
00:57:19
27. 27. Yeah. That's quite a big age gap
00:57:21
at at that. Yeah. Yeah. And she regrets
00:57:23
it. She regrets it. Were you What were
00:57:25
you like at that? You must have been
00:57:26
quite
00:57:27
um quite self-aware or quite mature.
00:57:31
I think I was mature. We met we met um
00:57:34
because we're both members of the Bahigh
00:57:36
faith. And so I went and hung out with
00:57:38
some Bahigh youth in Deneden where she
00:57:40
was studying and she was there and she
00:57:43
kind of hung out with us just cuz she
00:57:44
had nothing better to do. And that's how
00:57:46
we got to know each other. And I was
00:57:48
like, "Hey, like we should keep hanging
00:57:50
out." And she was like, "Okay." And I
00:57:52
was like, "Huh?" Cuz I thought she was
00:57:54
going to be like, "This is a cute
00:57:56
21-year-old. Like, I'm not going to."
00:57:58
But she said, "Yeah, let's keep hanging
00:58:00
out." And I think I was mature in many
00:58:03
ways, but also in many ways, I was just
00:58:05
a 21-year-old boy. And I think when we
00:58:08
got married,
00:58:10
I think that reality hit my wife like a
00:58:12
ton of bricks. Like, yes, he's mature.
00:58:14
like maybe intellectually he's mature
00:58:16
and like um you know in certain way like
00:58:20
he's eloquent and like all of these
00:58:22
things that like an older guy would have
00:58:24
but then in many
00:58:26
ways yeah I was just a 21-year-old like
00:58:29
emotionally a little bit immature and
00:58:31
you know all these different things that
00:58:33
kind of are pretty typical of a
00:58:35
21-year-old and so it meant the
00:58:37
beginning of our marriage was like quite
00:58:38
rocky um and it took me a while it took
00:58:41
me it took like four or five years to
00:58:44
become like a good husband, which Yeah.
00:58:46
I I heard you I've heard you say in a
00:58:47
couple of other interviews that the
00:58:48
quote is, "I was objectively a bad
00:58:50
husband for the first 5 years." Yeah.
00:58:52
What um has she heard you say that? And
00:58:54
what does she say about it? She says,
00:58:55
"Yeah,
00:58:57
the chance to go, "No, Pax, no. No, she
00:59:00
says she's honest." And I and I want
00:59:01
that. I want that honesty. Like she
00:59:03
goes, "Yeah, you were." But also, you
00:59:05
know, like she she must have seen
00:59:07
something in you, the way like a like a
00:59:09
growth potential or future potential or
00:59:11
something. Yeah. She she and she says
00:59:13
that as well. Well, she says like there
00:59:14
were these qualities that I saw that I
00:59:16
knew
00:59:18
were the foundation for like a really
00:59:21
great husband. And I hope I'm not going
00:59:24
to say that I have fulfilled those
00:59:26
things, but I hope I'm continuously
00:59:27
fulfilling those
00:59:30
promisual promises, you know. Um, but
00:59:33
that doesn't mean that like the first
00:59:34
four years were just all bad. We still
00:59:37
like loved each other and had fun and
00:59:38
like, you know, go get food and joke and
00:59:41
go on holiday and all the great stuff
00:59:43
about marriage. Just intertwined with me
00:59:47
not knowing how to be emotionally
00:59:48
available or me not understanding what
00:59:51
it means that a household is a twoperson
00:59:54
job where you have to take
00:59:55
responsibility together to make that
00:59:57
household work. And that's all stuff
00:59:59
typical of a 21-year-old boy, you know,
01:00:01
like um and that's all stuff I had to
01:00:03
learn the hard way. And it meant that my
01:00:05
wife had to kind of walk through the
01:00:06
fire with me. It also doesn't mean that
01:00:09
she was perfect. Like she also admits
01:00:10
that there were things that she could
01:00:12
have done better to help me better. And
01:00:14
you know, she kind of admits that she
01:00:15
was a little too hard on me sometimes or
01:00:17
or whatever it was. And so because it's
01:00:20
a two-way street and she's able to
01:00:21
accept her shortcomings makes it a lot
01:00:23
easier to accept that there was a chunk
01:00:27
of time where I really didn't know what
01:00:28
I was doing. But that's okay. That's
01:00:30
that's the truth. And as long as the
01:00:32
truth isn't something that splits you
01:00:35
apart, it's okay to face it together,
01:00:37
you know. Yeah. So, what were you doing
01:00:39
when you met? Had you started comedy at
01:00:41
that point? Were you studying? What were
01:00:42
you It's absurd that she married me
01:00:45
because I hadn't done anything. I All I
01:00:47
All I was was a guy that wanted to be a
01:00:49
comedian. I wasn't even a comedian yet.
01:00:51
I wasn't anything. Well, I suppose
01:00:53
that's an ambition in itself. Yes, it is
01:00:56
an ambition. But yeah, I mean, it's
01:00:58
incredible for her to have that faith in
01:01:00
me. And she wasn't even like, "I'll
01:01:02
marry you, but only if you like make
01:01:05
comedy a hobby and actually get a proper
01:01:07
job." She was like, "Yeah, yeah, cool.
01:01:08
Be a comedian." And I was, now when I
01:01:09
think back, I'm like, "What in the
01:01:12
world?" Like, who would do that? You
01:01:14
know, it's it's it's wild. But like you
01:01:18
say, she must have seen something in me.
01:01:20
She must have seen the dollar signs from
01:01:22
back then. She must have seen the TV
01:01:25
shows from back then. That's a
01:01:26
high-risisk gamble. Oh man, it's a high
01:01:28
risk. Playing the long game. Oh man,
01:01:29
it's a big gamble. It's a big gamble and
01:01:31
it p it paid off. But um but yeah, when
01:01:36
I think back it's like pretty incredible
01:01:37
that she was like cool.
01:01:41
Um which is part of the reason why like
01:01:44
uh um I value her so much, you know? How
01:01:49
how did it pay off? How much is natural
01:01:50
talent and how much is hard work?
01:01:55
How much is natural talent and how much
01:01:57
is hard work? I think
01:01:59
it's what's the cliche that that
01:02:04
uh I don't know what the cliche is, but
01:02:05
there's something about like hard work.
01:02:07
Oh, hard work beats talent when talent
01:02:08
doesn't work hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:10
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's true.
01:02:13
But I think in this specific context of
01:02:15
like standup and kind of like
01:02:18
entertainment and and all of that kind
01:02:20
of stuff, I think talent kind of has a
01:02:22
bigger impact because it's
01:02:26
so vibe based. Like you can be an
01:02:29
incredible write, you can be an
01:02:31
incredible writer of jokes, but if there
01:02:34
isn't that intrinsic talent when you
01:02:36
walk on stage and there's something that
01:02:38
people like, it's really hard to get
01:02:41
those jokes to to get across, you know?
01:02:43
So, I think I think in this game it's
01:02:46
more 50/50. It's more kind of even. You
01:02:48
need the hard work, but the talent plays
01:02:51
a big role in it. Um
01:02:54
uh but in saying that, that cliche does
01:02:57
apply. Like if you have no hard work,
01:02:59
you will just be this talented guy that
01:03:02
just kind of like flounders. Um yeah,
01:03:06
but I don't know. I think it's different
01:03:07
for everyone. It's hard to say. It's
01:03:08
hard to say that there's like a hard and
01:03:10
fast rule, you know? There are some
01:03:12
people that there are some people that
01:03:14
are lazy as [ __ ] but because thing like
01:03:16
timing is perfect and they're incredibly
01:03:18
talented and the right person sees them
01:03:20
at the right time and blah blah blah,
01:03:22
something happens and then the momentum
01:03:24
just rolls, you know, and that just
01:03:26
happens sometimes. Yeah, I'm I'm sure he
01:03:29
he isn't lazy. I'm sure this is just
01:03:31
part of his magic, but Chappelle looks
01:03:33
like the laziest comedian around. Yeah.
01:03:35
Yeah. I I I understand how that look
01:03:38
like how it looks like he's lazy, but I
01:03:39
think like I I think he's like
01:03:42
incredibly hardworking from the
01:03:43
perspective of like when you don't see
01:03:45
him when he's at home, I think he's just
01:03:48
constantly like writing in his head and
01:03:50
constantly coming up with bits and
01:03:52
constantly like doing standup in places
01:03:54
where no one even knows he's doing it,
01:03:56
you know? It's not televised. It's not
01:03:57
on social media. He's just out there
01:03:59
trying to grind. Um
01:04:02
I think there is an element of like I
01:04:05
think the hard work in standup is just
01:04:07
how long are you willing to eat [ __ ] and
01:04:10
not eat [ __ ] as in not do well on stage.
01:04:12
I mean that might be part of it, but eat
01:04:14
[ __ ] as in like man there is just a long
01:04:17
ass period where you got to do gigs
01:04:19
where no one pays you. You got to do
01:04:20
gigs where there's like eight people in
01:04:22
the crowd. You got to do gigs where it's
01:04:23
like the dude will will give you a ride
01:04:26
to the gig but then can't give your ride
01:04:28
home so then you got to use your pay.
01:04:29
Literally the taxi is the cost of the
01:04:31
paycheck. Like you got to it's just that
01:04:33
for years and years and years. And I
01:04:36
think that's the hard work in standup as
01:04:38
well as the writing and the creating,
01:04:41
but it's the just
01:04:43
like walking through the mud for like
01:04:46
years until you start to know what
01:04:49
you're doing on stage and get genuinely
01:04:51
good and you like know who you are and
01:04:54
your craft is is a level where it's
01:04:56
undeniable. When you walk on stage,
01:04:58
people go, "Oh yeah, that person's good
01:04:59
at what they do." And that's when the
01:05:01
momentum starts to kick in. I think
01:05:02
that's I think that's the hard work. So,
01:05:05
your first time on stage 2011 at RAW,
01:05:08
which is um like an like an amateur
01:05:10
night, first time as night at uh the
01:05:12
classic in Queen Street. Yes, it was it
01:05:14
was part of the Raw Comedy Quest as
01:05:15
well. It my first time on stage was a
01:05:18
heat for the Raw Comedy Quest, which is
01:05:20
a competition for rookie comedians. Um
01:05:23
and the final you, if you get it, if you
01:05:25
make it to the final, you get to do a
01:05:27
big kind of big showcase show. Um, and
01:05:30
the winner gets to do um, Last Laughs, I
01:05:35
think it is, that a year after at the
01:05:37
Comedy Festival, which is like at Sky
01:05:38
City Theater, which is crazy at that
01:05:40
point in your career. It's crazy. So,
01:05:42
yeah, my my first gig was a Heat um, for
01:05:46
the Raw Comedy Quest and and I made it
01:05:48
to the semis and then made it to the
01:05:50
final. So, my third gig was at a final
01:05:53
of of the Raw Comedy Quest in front of
01:05:55
like 400 people. How was that first
01:05:57
experience on stage? Yeah, I believe you
01:05:59
aced it. It went really well. Yes. Yeah,
01:06:02
I aced it. Were you Were you nervous as
01:06:04
hell or you were? Yeah. Oh [ __ ] I
01:06:06
suppose everyone is. Oh, [ __ ]
01:06:07
bricks, man. Yeah, most people are. I
01:06:09
think if if you're not, you're going to
01:06:11
be a mass murderer. I think you're a
01:06:13
psychopath.
01:06:15
Some some nerves are healthy, isn't it?
01:06:16
Yeah. Oh, some Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nerves
01:06:18
are really needed. Like, no nerves is
01:06:20
like not helpful because you you it
01:06:22
means you don't it means your body's not
01:06:24
kicking itself into gear to do the
01:06:26
thing, you know? Um, but yeah, man, I
01:06:28
was I was [ __ ] myself. Um, but yeah,
01:06:31
did really well. And then the semi did
01:06:33
really I did really well throughout the
01:06:34
competition and then Scott gave me a gig
01:06:37
where it was no longer part of a
01:06:38
competition. It was just a it was just a
01:06:40
gig at the classic. It's not a
01:06:43
competition. There aren't heaps of
01:06:44
people there to support their buddies.
01:06:47
Tickets aren't five bucks. They're like
01:06:48
$35 now. Everyone's there because they
01:06:51
want to watch good comedy and they've
01:06:53
got a babysitter and they've paid 35
01:06:55
bucks each for a ticket and they've had
01:06:57
to pay for parking and I tanked in that
01:07:01
context of like a real gig. This is a
01:07:04
real gig now. It's not like a kumbaya
01:07:06
support everyone gig. I tanked hard.
01:07:09
Fourth gig I tanked. Yeah. What does
01:07:11
what does tanking hard mean exactly? How
01:07:13
does that look? Yeah. No one laughs. and
01:07:15
you panic and you start talking faster
01:07:16
for no reason and you start sweating and
01:07:19
you start forgetting your jokes because
01:07:20
you start thinking about the fact that
01:07:22
you're tanking so the jokes go out of
01:07:23
the head and it's a train wreck. Yeah,
01:07:26
that's what it looks like. It's a train
01:07:27
wreck. Yeah.
01:07:29
Cuz I suppose like you've been doing it
01:07:30
14 years now so you've got all the tools
01:07:32
in the toolbox. So you you you've got
01:07:34
the muscle memory where you can draw
01:07:36
upon something that's going to get you
01:07:37
out of a sticky situation. Um but yeah,
01:07:39
what do you what do you do back then? Do
01:07:41
you just like call the SE early? Are
01:07:43
people do people start heckling? What
01:07:45
happens? No, people don't start heckling
01:07:46
because I think I think the MC set me up
01:07:48
pretty well. I can't remember who the
01:07:49
host was at the time, but the host did
01:07:52
kind of tell the audience that like, you
01:07:54
know, this is a new comic and like, you
01:07:56
know, show him a lot of love. He's he's
01:07:58
he was in the final of the Raw Comedy
01:07:59
Quest, but you know, he's early in his
01:08:01
journey. So, it does set up the audience
01:08:03
a little bit to not be so mean, but also
01:08:05
the audience is not going to give you a
01:08:07
fake laugh. If they don't think you're
01:08:09
funny, they're not going to laugh. But
01:08:11
um it it was also set up so that they're
01:08:13
not like horrific to
01:08:15
you. But yeah, like like you say now I
01:08:17
have now I have
01:08:19
like close to six hours of material.
01:08:23
Back then I had six jokes in total. So
01:08:27
if three of them don't work,
01:08:30
it's it's game over. It's going to be
01:08:32
Yeah. It's going to be a long 10
01:08:34
minutes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't
01:08:35
even 10 minutes. It was like seven seven
01:08:37
minutes. Yeah. So that 7 minutes felt
01:08:39
like an eternity. It felt like I was up
01:08:41
there for like 35 minutes. Well, after
01:08:43
that, why do you So that was quite early
01:08:45
in your career. Yeah. Why do you keep
01:08:47
going after that? Just cuz you've got
01:08:49
enough feedback from the earlier sets
01:08:51
that you do have something. I think if I
01:08:53
I think if I consistently bombed after
01:08:56
that, I probably would have quit. But
01:08:58
that I after that gig, I I went up again
01:09:01
and did okay and then went up again and
01:09:03
did quite well. Then went up again and
01:09:06
did really averely. And so the the gigs
01:09:09
that came after that was a was a mixed
01:09:11
bag of pretty good and pretty average.
01:09:14
And so I kept seeing glimmers of like
01:09:16
something that worked well. Um if I just
01:09:20
tanked over and over and over and over
01:09:22
again for like 4 months, I think I would
01:09:24
have packed it up and been like, "All
01:09:25
right, I tried it. I'm not a standup and
01:09:29
I'll just go do like I probably would
01:09:31
have just went to uni and become an
01:09:32
architect like I wanted to as a 12 13 14
01:09:35
year old but because they just kept
01:09:37
there were just pockets of like oh I can
01:09:39
do this it just kept motivating me and
01:09:42
then kind of a year
01:09:43
in Ursula Carlson gave me a really great
01:09:47
piece of advice and this was before
01:09:48
Ursula had popped like now Ursula's like
01:09:51
she's in a movie I watched her last week
01:09:53
in a movie with Amy Schumer. Yeah, she's
01:09:55
hu she's she's so family. She's on a
01:09:57
massive Hollywood Netflix movie and
01:10:00
sells out like theaters all over the
01:10:02
world and she's such a huge name now.
01:10:05
And Ursula was really kind to me early
01:10:07
in my career before Ursula had really
01:10:10
popped but was still building a really
01:10:12
solid audience like was a great comic
01:10:14
had a had a fan base that really loved
01:10:16
her but wasn't the Ursa we know yet but
01:10:19
was really kind to me and like she took
01:10:21
me on tour a couple of time like I
01:10:23
opened for her in a few places and um
01:10:26
she was really supportive of me which I
01:10:27
still even to this day even though I
01:10:29
don't really talk to her anymore other
01:10:30
than if we cross paths um I I still
01:10:33
really appreciate Okay. Um, but she gave
01:10:36
me a piece of advice and said that like
01:10:40
you if you want to do this, like legit,
01:10:43
if you want to legit do this, you have
01:10:46
to see this as a
01:10:48
marathon. A gig not going well cannot be
01:10:52
something that you care about because if
01:10:54
you're going to do this for real, you're
01:10:55
going to do tens of thousands of gigs
01:10:58
and you have to see it as just one piece
01:11:01
of a humongous puzzle. And that piece of
01:11:05
advice that Ursula gave me really put
01:11:07
everything into perspective very early
01:11:09
into my career where I went care about
01:11:11
every gig, but once the gig is done,
01:11:14
take from it what you can and that's it.
01:11:16
Move on and keep going. And that was
01:11:18
like a pivotal. It's kind of, you know,
01:11:20
every now and then something will happen
01:11:22
in your journey that kind of becomes a
01:11:24
foundational piece for you. That was one
01:11:26
of those moments. I don't even know if
01:11:27
she knows. I don't even know if she reme
01:11:29
she probably doesn't even remember
01:11:30
telling me this in the green room of the
01:11:31
classic, but I remember uh it not only
01:11:34
do I remember it, it's a piece of advice
01:11:36
that like is kind of one one of my
01:11:39
foundational kind of modes of operation.
01:11:41
Um yeah, it's a great piece of advice
01:11:44
actually for most things in life, isn't
01:11:45
it? Yeah, I think it applies to
01:11:47
everything. Yeah. Yeah. Don't get too up
01:11:48
yourself. Don't get too down on yourself
01:11:49
either. It's wonderful. Yeah. When when
01:11:51
did you when did you first realize you
01:11:53
could probably make a living from it?
01:11:55
Was that after you So you started in
01:11:58
2011. So we're sort of in 2011ish now.
01:12:00
So then you had that break and you went
01:12:02
to teachers college. Yes. Was it after
01:12:04
you came back that you sort of thought,
01:12:05
"Oh, this might work." Or was it 2016
01:12:08
when you won that the joke of the year
01:12:09
thing? Yes. Yeah. I think it was I think
01:12:11
it was 2016 when I did the gala and
01:12:16
and won one Yeah. the Comedy Guild's
01:12:19
best gag award and then gained real
01:12:23
legitimate attention
01:12:25
from the the entities of the
01:12:28
entertainment industry. You know, that's
01:12:30
when radio came knocking. That's when
01:12:32
kind of Seven Days kind of came knocking
01:12:34
and said, "Hey, would like to make you a
01:12:36
comedian that appears regularly or
01:12:39
semi-regularly." you know, that's when
01:12:42
um auditions started to to kind of pop
01:12:44
up and I ended up appearing in like a
01:12:46
bunch of ads and that's kind of the
01:12:48
moment where I was like, "Oh yeah, this
01:12:50
this could actually be a thing."
01:12:53
Um but yeah, before that I I always
01:12:58
there was something in me that always
01:12:59
knew that something was going to happen
01:13:01
that allowed me to do this as a career.
01:13:02
I don't know why I had unearned
01:13:05
confidence. I just did. But there but if
01:13:08
I think back now I yeah there was
01:13:11
absolutely a world in which that gala
01:13:13
set doesn't happen and I just kind of
01:13:15
trudge along and then kind of pack it up
01:13:19
and and and get a job. But that reality
01:13:22
is a reality for every comedian. It's,
01:13:25
you know, there are moments that become
01:13:26
kind of those fork in the road moments
01:13:29
and the possibility of packing it up is
01:13:31
there for everyone until that fork in
01:13:34
the road happens where you really
01:13:36
establish yourself and the industry not
01:13:39
only trusts you but wants to work with
01:13:41
you, you know.
01:13:42
[Music]
01:13:44
Um, there were other moments as well. I
01:13:47
don't want to I don't want to say that
01:13:48
like that was the only moment but it was
01:13:50
a big piece of the puzzle and then with
01:13:52
a combination of other moments happening
01:13:54
at the same time it all kind of came
01:13:56
together. But yeah, yeah, you can't just
01:13:58
um you base a career on a moment like
01:14:00
look at the the hog tour girl. Yeah.
01:14:02
Yeah. But I suppose you had like um you
01:14:05
know four or five years experience
01:14:06
before that. Um so you you know you
01:14:09
weren't like a one hit wonder. No, no. I
01:14:11
And I didn't see myself as a one hit
01:14:13
wonder, but I also recognized that
01:14:14
sometimes you do need a moment to really
01:14:16
like show like to tell the world, hey, I
01:14:20
do this and I'm actually quite good at
01:14:21
it, you know. Um, and sometimes those
01:14:23
moments are really helpful. Um, and
01:14:25
yeah, that was it for me. Some people
01:14:27
some people don't have that moment. Some
01:14:29
people just are comedians that just keep
01:14:32
grinding, keep grinding, keep putting
01:14:33
together a body of work and then
01:14:35
eventually that body of work gets
01:14:37
recognized. Like it doesn't have to be
01:14:38
that way, but it's not it's not it's
01:14:40
it's helpful.
01:14:42
Yeah. I suppose you just hope if you are
01:14:44
going to have that moment, it does
01:14:45
happen when you've got, you know, like a
01:14:46
bit of experience behind you like you
01:14:47
did have. Um Yes. So what was that joke
01:14:49
exactly? Uh so this is you pretending to
01:14:51
be Tongan, which is one of the one of
01:14:53
the story arcs in um raised by refugees.
01:14:56
So this is a true thing. Yes. Yeah.
01:14:59
Primary school age intermediate. Like
01:15:01
end of primary school, beginning of
01:15:03
intermediate. Yeah. In real life, I kept
01:15:06
up the sherad for like three years.
01:15:08
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In the show because
01:15:10
it's a show, it's one day because you
01:15:12
can't, you know, you have 25 minutes an
01:15:13
episode. But um yeah, in real life it
01:15:16
was 3 years of pretending to be Tong.
01:15:18
And so I dropped because 9/11 happened
01:15:21
being Middle Eastern of any kind was
01:15:23
like really bad. Um but Pakistani was
01:15:25
still okay cuz Pakistani was more just
01:15:27
like Apoo from The Simpsons and you know
01:15:29
it was more chill.
01:15:32
um not cool but chill. Um so if I told
01:15:36
everyone that I was full tongen, no one
01:15:38
would believe me. I'm too skinny and
01:15:39
hairy. But um but
01:15:43
um it was believable that I'm half
01:15:45
Pakistani, half Tongan. So I dropped the
01:15:48
Iranian to get rid of the Middle Eastern
01:15:50
stigma with 911 and added Tongen. And it
01:15:54
was it was fine. Like I I was able to
01:15:56
keep up the sherad. Uh man, there was
01:15:58
some there were there were definitely
01:15:59
moments where the other tongans were
01:16:01
like, "Are we sure he's give us your
01:16:04
best chance?" Yeah, especially on like
01:16:06
the on like the league like when we play
01:16:08
like a game of league and like they pass
01:16:10
me the ball and like I don't know what
01:16:12
like I'm like running around in a
01:16:13
circle, they're like is he to
01:16:16
win? So yeah, there were definitely
01:16:18
moments where like there were there were
01:16:20
holes in my argument, but yeah, I just
01:16:22
kind of it was more out it was out of
01:16:24
survival really with with the reflection
01:16:26
of hindsight. Why was why why did that
01:16:28
hit the spot? Why was that joke so
01:16:29
successful?
01:16:31
I think it just kind of like connected
01:16:34
with a really broad spectrum of people.
01:16:37
I think white people loved it because
01:16:39
they know that guy. They've all every
01:16:42
white person to a degree has interacted
01:16:45
with like a Vietnamese dude or a
01:16:47
Pakistani dude or an Indian dude who
01:16:50
wants to act like the coolest ethnicity
01:16:52
at the school. Whether it's like the
01:16:53
Filipino kids or the island boys or the
01:16:56
Maldi boys or the white boys, we all
01:16:59
know that one e that one kid who decides
01:17:02
he's just going to assimilate into the
01:17:03
coolest ethnicity. Then the Pacific
01:17:06
Islanders, you know, loved it for
01:17:08
obvious reasons because I'm shouting out
01:17:11
their culture and I'm making references
01:17:12
to things that they all truly
01:17:14
understand. And then the South Asian
01:17:16
community loved it because they all have
01:17:18
a cousin or they are the person that had
01:17:20
to had to code switch. And so I think
01:17:23
what it did was it's one of those rare
01:17:25
bits that just landed with everyone and
01:17:27
everyone was like I connect to this bit
01:17:29
in one way or another from whatever
01:17:31
perspective it is, you know, and it and
01:17:34
it and it was a moment in time where
01:17:36
social media wasn't this kind of now
01:17:41
social media is inundated with standup.
01:17:44
Now it's just an ocean of standup and
01:17:46
the only way to stand out now is to post
01:17:50
consistent like over and over and over
01:17:52
again. It's really rare for one bit to
01:17:55
be posted and to change your career.
01:17:58
You know, I've had I've had bits that
01:17:59
I've posted now that have like over 5
01:18:02
million views, but it doesn't change
01:18:03
your career because that's kind of the
01:18:05
norm now for people to go viral. Back
01:18:07
then for a bit of standup to I think
01:18:09
that bit got to close to 2 million. Back
01:18:12
then, a bit of standup going to 2
01:18:14
million was like unheard of. This is
01:18:16
pre- Tik Tok, eh? Pre- Tik Tok, pre-
01:18:18
Instagram reels, pre all of it. Back
01:18:20
then, Instagram was still just the
01:18:22
platform for photos. Videos weren't
01:18:24
really a thing on Instagram. So, it was
01:18:26
YouTube and Facebook and it got close to
01:18:29
2 million views on Facebook and then
01:18:30
like close to 100,000 views on YouTube.
01:18:32
And that for a standup was like, oh,
01:18:34
this doesn't happen. Um, so it was a
01:18:37
different time as well. It was a
01:18:38
different environment, a different
01:18:40
online environment where one piece of
01:18:43
standup can go viral and change
01:18:45
everything. Whereas now it's just not
01:18:48
that. Yeah. [ __ ] Was that an exciting
01:18:50
time?
01:18:52
It was crazy, dude. It was crazy. I like
01:18:58
Yeah, it was it was really exciting, but
01:19:00
also a little bit nerve-wracking cuz I'm
01:19:01
like it's all coming at once now and
01:19:03
like you better not screw it up, Pax.
01:19:05
You know that thought. It's inevitable
01:19:07
for that thought to pop into your head
01:19:09
because now all of a sudden everyone
01:19:11
wants to work with you. You know,
01:19:12
producers are hitting you up going like,
01:19:14
"Hey, we want to pitch a show and we
01:19:15
want you to be the host and this and
01:19:16
that." And you have to learn to like you
01:19:19
can't say yes to everything cuz not
01:19:21
everything is the right fit for you. But
01:19:22
you want everything in your body wants
01:19:24
to say yes to everything, you know, but
01:19:25
you can't because it could be wrong for
01:19:28
you. And radio was that it wasn't right
01:19:31
for me to go on George F wasn't right.
01:19:33
that audience didn't like me because I
01:19:35
wasn't who they connected with. I didn't
01:19:37
really like dance music. That's crazy.
01:19:41
You can't be a host of Georgia fem and
01:19:42
not like dance music. You know what I
01:19:44
mean? But you're not thinking critically
01:19:47
like that. And so thankfully radio
01:19:49
didn't ruin my career. Um it was just a
01:19:52
kind of hurdle in the road or a bump in
01:19:55
the road.
01:19:56
But yeah, it was it was really exciting
01:19:58
and also a little bit nerve-wracking to
01:20:00
go like, "All right, I got to manage
01:20:01
this correctly now.
01:20:03
Um, and thankfully, you know, my wife is
01:20:06
a smart person, so I was able to talk to
01:20:07
her and I had a good management team and
01:20:10
and we were able to traverse it and now
01:20:12
I'm here, you know. Yeah. Must been
01:20:14
exciting for you as a couple because
01:20:15
it's like she she believed in you, you
01:20:18
believed in yourself and finally it was
01:20:19
validated by a a broader sector of
01:20:22
society. Yes. Yeah, it was exciting. I
01:20:25
think the predominant thing that was
01:20:27
exciting was the potential of like
01:20:28
income because we were really scraping
01:20:30
through and I was getting to the point
01:20:33
because I quit in 2014 then came back
01:20:35
and then this happened end of 2016 and I
01:20:38
was getting to the point where I was
01:20:39
like all right I've come back and I am
01:20:41
like better at standup now but it's
01:20:43
still tough man and like I don't know if
01:20:45
this I still questioning whether this
01:20:46
was the right choice. Um, yeah. And so
01:20:50
that kind of came at a time where I was
01:20:52
like on the border. I was still kind of
01:20:53
deciding and that kind of again fork in
01:20:56
the road set me on a path where like now
01:20:59
I'm here and you know still doing
01:21:01
standup and and lucky enough to have the
01:21:04
opportunity to make television and and
01:21:05
be on television. Yeah. And so many ads
01:21:08
two degrees. What's the what's the other
01:21:09
one at um I was trying to think about on
01:21:11
my run this morning the the line is um
01:21:13
something so good you won't want to
01:21:15
leave. Fletcher living. Fletcher living.
01:21:17
What's the What's the line? I don't
01:21:19
remember. It was so long ago, but that
01:21:20
was one of those ones where like I did
01:21:22
it years ago and it just kept rolling
01:21:24
over. So, you get paid You get paid a
01:21:26
check every year. Yeah. Yeah. I just get
01:21:27
paid a check every year. It's over now.
01:21:29
It's done now. But there was like this
01:21:31
period where it just ke they just kept
01:21:33
giving me money. How's this so good or
01:21:36
You won't stop living so good. You won't
01:21:37
want to leave. Yeah. You won't want to
01:21:38
leave. But it's distinct. Yeah. Yeah. I
01:21:41
mean, I've been told I have a very
01:21:42
distinct voice which has helped me in
01:21:44
this ad space. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's
01:21:46
all kind of it's all kind of happening
01:21:49
right now. Oh. Oh, one thing. Um, this
01:21:51
has joged a memory talking about Georgie
01:21:53
F before and not fitting in with the the
01:21:54
audience. You you've never drunk, eh?
01:21:56
You've never been a drinker? Never. I've
01:21:58
never had alcohol. Like a relig that
01:22:01
must have taken a lot of strength of
01:22:02
character especially during those peer
01:22:04
pressure years. Oh man. And I went to
01:22:05
high school in Hamilton. So yeah, that
01:22:09
was the main activity.
01:22:11
That was the main Yeah. Like I um Yeah,
01:22:14
I'm probably the same. Like the first
01:22:15
few times I drunk, I [ __ ] hated it.
01:22:17
It was [ __ ] And I felt sick the next
01:22:18
day and it was awful. But uh I I
01:22:20
desperately wanted to fit in. Yeah.
01:22:22
Yeah. I I mean I I was actually talking
01:22:24
to my wife about this two days ago cuz
01:22:27
she was telling me cuz she grew up in
01:22:29
Vanuatu. It's a very different culture
01:22:31
obviously, but there's still a drinking
01:22:33
culture there. And so she was telling me
01:22:34
about how there was three. So we're both
01:22:37
bahigh and in the Bahigh faith drinking
01:22:39
is um is not allowed or not is not
01:22:42
permissible. Um and but that doesn't
01:22:46
mean that there are lots of bahigh out
01:22:47
there who go through their younger years
01:22:49
and are still peer pe peer pressured
01:22:51
into trying alcohol. Um and that doesn't
01:22:55
you
01:22:56
know in in the Bahigh faith the concept
01:22:58
of your spiritual journey as your
01:23:00
spiritual journey is very strong. So
01:23:02
there's no level of like hey you need to
01:23:04
be judged or like you're going to go to
01:23:06
hell or anything like that. It's just,
01:23:08
you know, you you do it and and if if
01:23:10
it's something that you you deem as a
01:23:12
mistake, then you move on from it and
01:23:14
whatever. But my wife was sharing with
01:23:17
me how like there was three or four
01:23:18
occasions where she got pe pe pe pe pe
01:23:20
pe pe pe pe pe pe pe pe pe pe pe pe pe
01:23:20
pe peer pressured into or felt the peer
01:23:23
pressure of wanting to fit in and and
01:23:24
ended up drinking and and I was like,
01:23:26
"Yeah, I mean that's that feels like
01:23:29
something that should have happened to
01:23:31
me."
01:23:32
Like I went to high school and my dad,
01:23:35
you know, at 14 years old, he sold up
01:23:36
his businesses or he sold his um h sorry
01:23:41
not businesses, house and started a
01:23:42
business in Hamilton and we moved down
01:23:45
there. And so my last four years of high
01:23:47
school were in Hamilton. You would think
01:23:49
that of course I end up at some point
01:23:52
getting peer pressured into drinking. It
01:23:54
didn't happen once. And when I think
01:23:56
back to it, I'm like that's crazy. How
01:23:58
did that even happen? I don't even know.
01:24:00
M I just was like I just made a stand
01:24:03
and and
01:24:05
decided I'm not going to do it and I
01:24:07
don't need it to feel cool or feel
01:24:10
accepted and I stuck to it and it just
01:24:12
and it was fine. Yeah. What is it like
01:24:14
internal strength of character or fear
01:24:16
of your parents or I think it was a
01:24:18
combination of both. I think it was a
01:24:19
combination of fear of repercussions
01:24:22
from my parents but also a strong
01:24:26
understanding of who I
01:24:28
am but also honestly I think the binge
01:24:32
drinking which is not this is not new
01:24:34
information it's not like this we we've
01:24:36
all seen it especially in those younger
01:24:38
years but I think the binge drinking
01:24:41
honestly helped in my resolve because
01:24:44
when you see people doing the most
01:24:47
imbecillic things and like hurting
01:24:49
themselves. And you know, every now and
01:24:51
then a mate has to get rushed to
01:24:54
hospital cuz their liver kind of screws
01:24:56
out, you know, like it kind of
01:24:58
contributes to you going maybe I'm not
01:25:00
missing out on anything, you know, and
01:25:02
like maybe it's fine. And I would go to
01:25:04
parties and everyone's drunk around me
01:25:05
and I would just be like, nah, I'm not
01:25:08
going to do it. And just stick to it.
01:25:09
Also, like to be fair to the people that
01:25:12
I went to high school with, I relatively
01:25:14
had a pretty supportive
01:25:18
group of friends like you know um my
01:25:22
closest friend was Savinta he was a Sri
01:25:23
Lankan guy we put on the basketball team
01:25:25
together we we were the we he was my
01:25:27
closest friend and he never really like
01:25:29
pushed he was never like you should
01:25:31
drink man he was like yeah be pax
01:25:32
doesn't drink and that's sweet I
01:25:34
remember there was one moment where I
01:25:36
thought to myself maybe I should drink
01:25:38
because maybe it will make me cooler and
01:25:41
my friend Brena who I think she's still
01:25:43
she's you know she has a her great job
01:25:47
in Hamilton. I think she's still in
01:25:49
Hamilton. I'm pretty sure I haven't
01:25:51
spoken to her in a couple maybe a few
01:25:53
years now, but shout if Brena's
01:25:55
listening, shout out to Brena. Um she
01:25:57
was a good friend of mine in high school
01:25:58
and I remember I was thinking about
01:26:00
doing it and she was like, "Don't do it.
01:26:02
What's wrong? No, don't do it. You don't
01:26:04
drink. Like, you're not supposed to.
01:26:06
That's not what you're supposed to do at
01:26:07
this point. You're supposed to You've
01:26:09
been not drinking for like 3 and 1/2
01:26:10
years. Don't do it now." And when I
01:26:13
think back, I'm like, "Oh, that's
01:26:15
actually awesome." I was lucky enough to
01:26:17
have an environment of mostly people who
01:26:21
were actually really supportive of that.
01:26:24
Um, and that's not the case for a lot of
01:26:26
people. Yeah, that's what you need, eh?
01:26:27
People that have absolutely got your
01:26:29
best interest at heart. Yeah, it's so
01:26:31
cool. Have you got a good friend group?
01:26:32
And are you good at um the vulnerability
01:26:35
part of it? Like, no. No, I'm really
01:26:36
bad. I don't know if I have a good
01:26:39
friend group. I have pockets of friends.
01:26:41
Yeah, I have a friend group that, you
01:26:43
know, my wife and I are friends with. I
01:26:45
have a friend group that's more like
01:26:46
industry based. Um, I have a friend
01:26:49
group that's like more like childhood
01:26:52
friends/cousin/b brother. Like we're all
01:26:54
kind of in that group, but
01:26:56
um yeah, I don't I'm not great at
01:26:59
vulnerability and it's it's not good. I
01:27:01
think it's I think comedy has kind of
01:27:03
made it worse because you learn to just
01:27:06
deal with things with gags and you don't
01:27:07
really know. I a friend of mine who's
01:27:10
who's a who's I I really cherish her
01:27:12
friendship and
01:27:15
um is a writer who's a really talented
01:27:17
writer and director and actor and um
01:27:20
Hannah Hannah Marshall um who's been in
01:27:23
a bunch of different things. She sent me
01:27:25
a text the other day and I don't know if
01:27:27
Hannah will see this. She might, she
01:27:28
might not. But um she sent me a text the
01:27:31
other day because we hung out and we we
01:27:34
just got um coffee together at one point
01:27:36
and that was partly because we're
01:27:37
friends, but partly to talk business
01:27:39
like industry stuff as well. Um and we
01:27:42
had a really like meaningful
01:27:44
conversation about like self-confidence
01:27:46
and having confidence in your own
01:27:49
ability. And she text she sent me a text
01:27:51
that was really
01:27:53
vulnerable and was was her expressing
01:27:57
her appreciation of me always showing or
01:28:01
telling her how much how talented I
01:28:02
think she is or expressing to her that I
01:28:05
think she's a really talented person and
01:28:07
she just wanted to like text me and say
01:28:09
that she was really appreciative of
01:28:10
that. And that text made me so
01:28:13
uncomfortable and I haven't actually
01:28:14
said this to her but I pushed myself. I
01:28:18
really pushed myself to just send her a
01:28:21
reply that was vulnerable in return. I
01:28:24
didn't want to make a gag. I didn't want
01:28:26
to undercut it with like comedy. I
01:28:30
didn't want to push it aside and pretend
01:28:32
like it didn't happen. I just took it
01:28:34
in. I absorbed it. I accepted it. And
01:28:36
then I sent her back a text that also
01:28:39
just reciprocated that vulnerability and
01:28:40
said I and was in the realm of I really
01:28:44
appreciate my friendship with you and I
01:28:46
and I respect you and thank you for
01:28:49
sending me that text and and I'll always
01:28:51
have your back. These are not the words
01:28:53
that I said, but it's like an
01:28:54
approximation of what I said and I
01:28:56
really challenged myself and pushed
01:28:57
myself to be like, Pax, don't do a gag.
01:28:59
Just accept it, take it in, and be
01:29:01
vulnerable back because you need to do
01:29:03
this. You need to stop doing it. And I
01:29:05
don't know why it was like three day or
01:29:07
maybe no maybe a week ago now. I just
01:29:09
had a moment where I was like, man,
01:29:10
sometimes you just got to let it be and
01:29:13
like let it be real.
01:29:15
Thanks for sharing that. I mean, you've
01:29:16
been very open today. Do you find it
01:29:18
more comfortable talking like to an
01:29:20
audience or in front of a microphone
01:29:21
than you one oneonone? Yeah. Yes. I I
01:29:25
the same. I I feel way more comfortable
01:29:27
being vulnerable when I know it's like
01:29:28
there's a performance element to it,
01:29:30
which is so screwed up, man. It's
01:29:32
cooked. It's so screwed up. But like you
01:29:35
got to start somewhere, right? And those
01:29:36
moments where a friend texts you and you
01:29:38
just be vulnerable back, I guess is
01:29:41
those little wins where you're trying to
01:29:42
break out of that like status quo. But
01:29:45
yeah, I with if if there weren't
01:29:47
microphones here, I'd just be asking you
01:29:49
like Yeah. So like um how what kind of
01:29:52
car you drive, man. Yeah. But I think
01:29:54
being aware of um your deficiencies when
01:29:57
it comes to that sort of stuff is a good
01:29:58
start. It's health It's the healthier
01:30:00
place to be than to just pretend it
01:30:01
doesn't exist. Yeah. It means you got
01:30:02
things to work on. How how has your
01:30:04
mental health been over the years? I
01:30:07
think my mental health has
01:30:09
been, man, I'm so lucky. I'm so
01:30:13
fortunate to have like a really
01:30:14
supportive family structure.
01:30:18
I'm not going, you know, like everyone,
01:30:21
you have your down days, you have your
01:30:22
up days, you have your days where you
01:30:24
just feel really confused, you have your
01:30:25
days where you feel really like on top
01:30:27
of the world.
01:30:30
Um I think something that has really
01:30:32
helped me stay on top of my mental
01:30:34
health has been and I'm not it's not
01:30:38
just because I'm a Bahai but I think the
01:30:40
the the fact that I'm a Bahai uh and
01:30:44
someone who has a spiritual practice has
01:30:46
really helped with that because it has
01:30:48
forced me to build in things like
01:30:52
meditation. It's forced me to build in
01:30:55
things like prayer which is a form of
01:30:57
meditation. It's forced me to build in
01:30:59
things like reflection. So like one of
01:31:01
the teachings of the Bahigh faith is
01:31:02
that in whatever shape or form or
01:31:05
whatever point in the day you do it, you
01:31:07
have to it's called bringing yourself to
01:31:09
account. And all it is is you take a
01:31:11
moment to reflect on your day. How were
01:31:13
you? What did you do? What did you say?
01:31:15
Who did you interact with? And think
01:31:16
about how you can improve the next day.
01:31:18
That is a teaching of the Bahigh faith,
01:31:20
a a practice of the Bahai faith. And
01:31:22
that's probably something that's shared
01:31:23
across many spiritual practices. Um, but
01:31:27
having that inbuilt has really helped me
01:31:29
stay on top of my mental health in this
01:31:31
crazy crazy industry.
01:31:34
Um, I'm not pretending like it's
01:31:36
perfect. I'm not pretending like I've
01:31:38
just like skipped through life ly da.
01:31:40
It's great man. There are some days
01:31:42
where you like like everyone you feel
01:31:45
screwed up. But having that inbuilt
01:31:48
spiritual practice has really been like
01:31:50
a guide and like there are days where I
01:31:52
feel really weird and I just go it's
01:31:54
okay Pax just continue your spiritual
01:31:56
practice and you feel it kind of center
01:31:58
you doesn't fix it it's not like a magic
01:32:00
pill that just fixes everything but you
01:32:02
get centered again you understand that
01:32:04
like this physical existence is not
01:32:06
everything that you believe in something
01:32:08
further than the physical existence and
01:32:10
those things kind of like bring you back
01:32:12
and spiritual practice isn't right for
01:32:14
everyone but um it's been good for me
01:32:17
and so that's kind of the thing that's
01:32:18
like helped me over the years. Yeah.
01:32:19
Because you'll know this this industry
01:32:21
is wild and it's sometimes
01:32:27
really promoting and really pushes you
01:32:30
to focus on the self. You you you me.
01:32:34
I'm number one. What's happening with
01:32:35
me? Do I get this gig? Am I doing this
01:32:38
this role on TV? Why am I not doing
01:32:41
this? It's all how do I promote myself?
01:32:43
It's all you, you. And what the
01:32:45
spiritual practice has done is it's
01:32:47
forced me to let go of me and think
01:32:50
about others. And I think that's like a
01:32:52
really healthy way to be. Yeah. Well,
01:32:54
thanks for sharing that. Yeah, you're
01:32:56
right. This industry can be incredibly
01:32:58
toxic cuz you're forced to to make
01:33:00
yourself be liked by people that you
01:33:01
don't even [ __ ] know. Yes. Exactly.
01:33:03
It's not normal. Exactly. It's not
01:33:05
normal. It's not normal. It's really
01:33:06
obscure.
01:33:08
Um, and so to have a way to like
01:33:10
regground myself feels really I feel
01:33:13
really lucky. And lots of people have
01:33:15
ways to regground themselves in their
01:33:16
own ways. And this is the way that's um
01:33:18
kind of worked for me. Yeah. Yeah. Are
01:33:21
there three words that family or friends
01:33:23
would use to describe you if they were
01:33:25
here today?
01:33:27
Oh man, I don't know. You'd have to ask
01:33:29
them far out. Three words that What
01:33:32
would you like them to be? Say it's your
01:33:34
funeral.
01:33:36
And but it took a real morbid twist.
01:33:38
Yeah. Say you're dead. Hey Pax, you're
01:33:40
dead in the
01:33:42
ground. And you and you died because you
01:33:45
slipped on a curb. You died on stage.
01:33:50
You died. No one was laughing. And then
01:33:51
you slipped and you hit your head and
01:33:53
you
01:33:54
died. You What What three words would
01:33:56
you like them to be?
01:34:00
Generous.
01:34:08
selfless
01:34:11
and committed. That's what I would like
01:34:14
them to be. I would like people to to
01:34:16
think of me and I try this is what I try
01:34:18
to do to be someone that is thoughtful
01:34:21
of other people that doesn't always put
01:34:23
myself first that is generous with my
01:34:26
time and with my and with my resources
01:34:30
that I'm always trying to help other
01:34:31
people like I always make an effort when
01:34:33
there's like a newer comedian in the
01:34:35
green room and that I know that they're
01:34:39
not making that much money they're still
01:34:40
in the grind and I know that they got to
01:34:42
get an Uber home if my house is on the
01:34:44
way or Even if it's a little bit out of
01:34:45
the way, I'll try and offer be like,
01:34:47
"Hey man, like would you like a ride
01:34:48
home so you don't have to spend that 35
01:34:50
bucks on an Uber or you don't have to be
01:34:52
in a bus for an hour and 25 minutes to
01:34:54
get to your house that's 15 minutes
01:34:56
away, you know, like or I'll try and
01:34:58
like if anyone has any piece of advice,
01:35:00
I will try and take the time to spend as
01:35:03
much time with them exploring the
01:35:06
question that they have about the
01:35:08
industry."
01:35:09
as many opportunities when people say,
01:35:12
"Hey, we have this opportunity for you
01:35:13
to speak to a group of people that want
01:35:15
to be in the industry. Like, would you
01:35:17
we don't have any we have 200 bucks to
01:35:19
give you or we have a we have a gift
01:35:20
voucher to give you. Would you be able
01:35:22
to give an hour of your time?" I try
01:35:24
with every ounce of my energy to make
01:35:27
that work, you know? So, I would hope
01:35:29
that people would would say that I was
01:35:31
that I was generous and not
01:35:33
self-centered, but also really committed
01:35:36
to what I do and committed to being good
01:35:38
at what I do. Well, the three great
01:35:40
words to um strive towards. Yeah. Yeah.
01:35:44
I'd like to think so, but also but also
01:35:46
committed not just to my industry, but
01:35:48
also to my wife and to my kids and to my
01:35:50
family and to my brother and also to my
01:35:52
industry, to all of it. Yeah. Yeah. I I
01:35:55
I would think that those are three
01:35:57
pretty good words. Do people explain me
01:35:59
with those three words? [ __ ] man. I
01:36:01
don't know this [ __ ] He's a
01:36:03
titus.
01:36:05
Selfish. He's a piece of [ __ ] Maniac.
01:36:08
And last one. Last one. Are you proud of
01:36:10
yourself?
01:36:13
Am
01:36:16
I You know, Dom, I find it really
01:36:20
difficult to stop and celebrate myself.
01:36:23
M I find it really hard especially even
01:36:26
when I get a massive
01:36:28
win when when when the producer at the
01:36:32
production company that was making
01:36:33
Raised by Refugees with me called me and
01:36:35
said hey it's green lit we're making the
01:36:39
show. I was like awesome. And then I
01:36:42
hung up the phone and I went into my
01:36:44
office and immediately started to figure
01:36:46
out what the show was and how I wanted
01:36:47
to write it. No, I have a real
01:36:50
difficulty with celebrating myself and
01:36:52
it's not good. Um, and it's not healthy.
01:36:56
And you know, but going back to your
01:36:57
question of like how is your mental
01:36:58
health? That's probably one of the
01:37:00
things that I need to work on the most
01:37:02
is like being okay with like celebrating
01:37:04
myself. So, am I proud of myself? Like,
01:37:07
if I stop right now and think back to
01:37:10
all the things I've achieved in my
01:37:12
career and all the things that I've
01:37:13
done. Yeah, man. I'm really I'm really
01:37:15
proud of myself. And I can't sometimes I
01:37:17
can't believe that I'm I'm here,
01:37:20
but uh it's not something I tell myself
01:37:24
really ever. And um that's not great,
01:37:28
but um like you said, as long as you're
01:37:31
conscious of it, maybe it's something I
01:37:33
can work on and be better at rather than
01:37:36
just constantly being like, "Okay,
01:37:38
what's next? What's next?" Yeah.
01:37:42
Well, I'm proud of you. Thanks, man.
01:37:44
It's been It's been great today. And
01:37:45
you've you've been incredibly selfless
01:37:46
with your time as well. It's been cool.
01:37:48
It's been a really cool conversation.
01:37:49
Yes. And I can't thank you enough. It's
01:37:51
been nice to finally connect on a deeper
01:37:53
level. Yeah. Yeah. No, I I I I really
01:37:55
enjoy it. And um like like you say, I I
01:37:57
probably wouldn't be this vulnerable if
01:37:58
there wasn't microphones. But still, it
01:38:00
it doesn't change the fact that it
01:38:02
happened, you know, and that we did have
01:38:04
a a vulnerable conversation and a and an
01:38:06
open conversation. So, yeah, I I
01:38:08
appreciate it and I really enjoy and
01:38:09
thank you for this. This is genuinely
01:38:10
such a good gift. I was kind of nervous
01:38:13
to have to pretend that it was cool.
01:38:15
Like, wow, a DVD of Airbud. What? Do you
01:38:19
ever seen that movie with a dog is good
01:38:20
at basketball? No. It sounds amazing.
01:38:22
Yeah. Yeah. I was going to be like, "Oh,
01:38:24
no." But um No, this is this is a this
01:38:27
is a great gift. When does this come
01:38:28
out, this podcast? Um I'll put it out in
01:38:32
time so we can promote your uh crowdwork
01:38:34
show for the Comedy Fest. Yeah. I I
01:38:36
completely forgot that that that's the
01:38:37
main reason why I'm here, but we'll do
01:38:39
that in the front bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:38:40
Great. Oh, thanks. Thanks so much for
01:38:42
coming on my podcast, mate. You're a
01:38:44
great New Zealander. Thank you, man.
01:38:45
Thank you for having me. I really
01:38:46
appreciate it.
