00:00:00
He put a belt around my neck and choked
00:00:01
me till I blacked out. And when I came
00:00:03
to, I could see my children under a
00:00:05
blanket screaming and crying and calling
00:00:07
out for me and he was on top of me
00:00:10
getting the belt to put around my neck.
00:00:11
All I heard him say was, "One of us is
00:00:13
leaving in a body bag and it won't be
00:00:14
him." I started kicking, screaming, and
00:00:16
just hitting and trying to muster up
00:00:18
enough energy to get him off me. You
00:00:20
know, I get a 44 revolver in the back of
00:00:22
my head. He tells us, "Don't make any
00:00:24
sudden moves or I'll blow your brains
00:00:26
out." Kaye the pop singer sort of broke
00:00:28
through on the scene while you were
00:00:30
still at school.
00:00:34
If you
00:00:37
only there's some good experiences e
00:00:39
like you toured with Missy Elliot or you
00:00:41
open for Missy Elliot. Yeah. Buster
00:00:43
Rhymes, Missy Elliot, Shaggy, Nelly
00:00:45
Fitt. It broke me to hear my son turn
00:00:49
around and tell me. It still makes me
00:00:51
upset when I hear this.
00:00:54
[Music]
00:00:56
Kiwis love a
00:00:58
first like Finn. We're making
00:01:02
[Music]
00:01:03
[Applause]
00:01:04
[Music]
00:01:05
waves. Generate. Switch online today.
00:01:15
Kay Lee, welcome to my podcast. This is
00:01:19
weird. This is actually weird. I cuz
00:01:22
I've known you since I was 14 and this
00:01:25
is weird just sitting here across the
00:01:26
desk after I've watched you in radio and
00:01:28
watch you as a singer and as a radio
00:01:31
announcer and as a friend and now we're
00:01:34
sitting here at your podcast.
00:01:36
Is it 14? How how did I know you when
00:01:39
you were 14? I thought it was maybe like
00:01:40
16 15 16. Um, I think I started
00:01:43
promoting the single and stuff like that
00:01:44
and we went round and we did like an
00:01:47
introductory and I met you JJ and Jace
00:01:52
when I was 14 I think I was almost 15.
00:01:55
So this must have been like two maybe
00:01:58
2001
00:02:00
2000 and I'm doing the maths here. Damn
00:02:03
girl. Yeah. And then and then I actually
00:02:06
started promoting the single and I came
00:02:09
to
00:02:10
Wellington and we did Jingle Bell. I do
00:02:14
remember that. Yeah. You came down with
00:02:15
your guitarist Justin who's from the
00:02:16
band Alamino P. Yes. Um I've got a
00:02:19
picture and I've got I've got a picture
00:02:20
somewhere or more specifically JJ does
00:02:22
in her archives of you signing my face
00:02:24
with a vivid marker or something. Yes.
00:02:25
and I ate raw eggs. And then on the
00:02:27
flight home, it was there was like a
00:02:30
news story that came up and I
00:02:31
immediately felt ill because it said
00:02:35
disclaimer and alert to, you know, PSA.
00:02:37
I think it was something along the lines
00:02:39
of eating raw eggs will definitely give
00:02:41
you salmonella. There's salmonella
00:02:42
outbreak. And I was like, I just ate
00:02:45
half a dozen of raw eggs for money for
00:02:48
charity. And look at you. You're fine.
00:02:50
You're fine. Yeah. Yeah. Jeez. Um a
00:02:52
little bit cuckoo. Yeah. Yeah. So, we um
00:02:54
that establishes um our relationship. We
00:02:56
we go a long way back. I didn't realize
00:02:58
you were so young when the music career
00:03:00
That's very young, eh? Very, very young.
00:03:02
And I'm looking forward to unpacking
00:03:04
some of that because
00:03:05
um yeah, Kaye, the pop singer sort of
00:03:08
broke through on the scene while you
00:03:09
were still at school. Yeah. Yeah. I was
00:03:11
at White Taka College, which is baffling
00:03:14
like it's And this is when charts were
00:03:16
were kind of important. They were sort
00:03:18
of a significant thing. So, you were a
00:03:20
big deal. We didn't have social media.
00:03:21
We didn't have internet then. So it I
00:03:24
guess yeah I guess it was a bit
00:03:25
baffling. I think I guess for New
00:03:28
Zealand it was like oh my gosh he's a
00:03:31
pop star as a child a a a kid who's
00:03:34
still a teen. So I think yeah that might
00:03:36
have been a bit baffling but no I mean
00:03:39
like baffling for like for you like it
00:03:41
just be bewildering like being at school
00:03:43
having the number two song in the
00:03:45
country being played on radio being
00:03:46
played on Juice TV or I just thought it
00:03:48
was just fun. And I was like, "Yeah, I'm
00:03:50
just living the dream." Like I used to
00:03:51
watch Mariah Carey and all them at the
00:03:53
Grammys and MTV awards going, "Man, I
00:03:56
could do that. I want to do that. I want
00:03:58
to do that." Like, all I wanted to do
00:04:00
was just sing. That's all I wanted to
00:04:01
do. Sing, get on stage, and just have
00:04:05
fun, perform. That's all I wanted to do.
00:04:07
That's what I love doing, and I still
00:04:09
love doing it today. Do you do you um do
00:04:12
you do many podcasts? Have you been on
00:04:14
many? I couldn't find I couldn't sort of
00:04:15
find any sort of like deep dive long-
00:04:18
form podcast that you've been a guest
00:04:19
on. Uh a couple. Yeah, a couple. Yep.
00:04:21
Yep. I've been on a couple. Do Do you
00:04:23
like this? Do you like reflecting on the
00:04:25
various chapters of your life? It's been
00:04:26
a very very rich life and you're still
00:04:29
not even middle-aged yet. Thanks, Tom.
00:04:33
Um, I I think it's not until obviously
00:04:37
you or the people asking me questions,
00:04:40
interviewing me, start asking me about
00:04:42
my life and those past things that I've
00:04:44
done or Kaye the singer or Kaye growing
00:04:47
up or Kaye being on TV, those things I I
00:04:50
think it's then that I go, "Oh, well, I
00:04:52
have done a lot in my life." I guess I
00:04:54
just kind of just pushed to the side and
00:04:55
just keep going forward because the past
00:04:58
is the past. I can't change anything
00:04:59
about it. but moving forward like, hey,
00:05:02
there's still things I want to do.
00:05:03
There's still places I want to be, you
00:05:05
know, and C, there's still life to live.
00:05:08
So, I just don't really have the time to
00:05:10
reflect back on those things. Well, you
00:05:13
got six kids. Six kids from the age
00:05:15
range of what 18 to 18 to the youngest
00:05:19
now is almost about 9 months. You
00:05:21
haven't had time to think or
00:05:22
self-reflect in 18 years. I haven't had
00:05:24
time to sleep in 18 years. Yeah. Now,
00:05:27
um, so we're recording this on a Friday
00:05:29
and, um, you've been up since very early
00:05:32
this morning doing the breakfast show on
00:05:33
Flavor. Yeah. Yeah. It's my new job.
00:05:35
How, um, Yeah. How are you? I on Fridays
00:05:38
when I was doing breakfast radio, I was
00:05:39
like a wreck after work, like eyeballs
00:05:41
hanging out. This week in particular has
00:05:44
been a full-on week because my awesome
00:05:48
breakfast show has been sick with flu
00:05:50
and
00:05:52
gastro, and I am the iron gut last man
00:05:55
standing. So, I've just been jumping
00:05:58
into the coho seat and then jumping into
00:06:00
the anchor seat, which is always
00:06:02
interesting. Um, but yeah, no, it's it's
00:06:05
been an interesting week. Plus, I'm also
00:06:07
being mom in the background. Kids are
00:06:09
getting ready for for Polyfest. You
00:06:11
know, my teenagers are performing, so I
00:06:13
really want to see that, be a part of
00:06:14
that. And so, with Kapahaka, there's a
00:06:16
lot of things you need to do. Help with
00:06:18
the kakahoo, making the clothes and all
00:06:20
that. help with getting them to their
00:06:21
practices, help with no and just all
00:06:23
sorts of things, you know, and with
00:06:25
their overall wellbeing. Got to make
00:06:26
sure they're fed.
00:06:29
Um, yeah, you're a machine. I I don't
00:06:31
know how you do it. So, yeah, breakfast
00:06:33
radio show, which is um, you know, it's
00:06:35
a full You finish at 10:00 in the
00:06:36
morning, but it's a full-time job and
00:06:38
there's a lot that goes into it. It's
00:06:39
sort of like the iceberg. Well, you
00:06:40
finish on air at 10:00, but you know,
00:06:42
you and I both know that there's still
00:06:44
prep for the next day and because social
00:06:46
media plays a huge part in how we
00:06:49
promote ourselves now. And cuz, you
00:06:50
know, let's be honest, no one in radio
00:06:52
has got money these days. So, you got to
00:06:54
rely on social media to do digital
00:06:56
content. So, we got to create all the
00:06:58
time. So, being a radio announcer now,
00:07:00
even from when I started, I was like,
00:07:02
"Oh, wow. This is evolving really fast.
00:07:04
You're no longer just a mouthpiece.
00:07:06
You're no longer just the person who
00:07:08
creates content and laugh and and just
00:07:10
turn on the mic and do it. You have to
00:07:12
be that personality. You have to con,
00:07:14
you know, create content. You have to be
00:07:17
that person who is everywhere, anywhere,
00:07:21
and ready at any time.
00:07:24
Yeah. And and from a like a female
00:07:26
broadcaster perspective, I suppose
00:07:27
there's more pressure to um like look a
00:07:29
bit better than what maybe you needed to
00:07:31
do 20 years ago in terms of like putting
00:07:32
some makeup on or you know dressing um
00:07:35
nicely because it's going to be on
00:07:36
social media. Oh, I don't know. I don't
00:07:39
know. I don't know. I
00:07:41
um look, to be honest, if you're looking
00:07:43
at a lot of the younger announcers now,
00:07:45
of course, like that they they look
00:07:48
amazing. They're always ready. Their
00:07:50
hair's ready. Their makeup's ready.
00:07:51
Their facials ready. I mean, they're
00:07:53
much younger. They don't have the
00:07:54
wrinkles like I do. Um, they also don't
00:07:56
have six kids and they only have, you
00:07:58
know, they get more than 4 hours of
00:08:00
sleep a day, but and I'm not making
00:08:03
excuses, but at the same time, I think,
00:08:05
you know what, if I was to go out in
00:08:08
public and see people and and if I'm
00:08:11
going to be my authentic self, I just
00:08:13
have to show up as myself. And at the
00:08:15
moment, this is who I am. This is the
00:08:17
best that I am at the moment. And you
00:08:20
know, there's always days to be better
00:08:21
the next day or to be better for myself,
00:08:23
not for anybody else. Um, but yeah, as
00:08:26
long as I feel comfortable and I'm okay
00:08:28
in my own skin and my body, I mean, it's
00:08:30
it's been through a lot, you know, my my
00:08:33
body, my my mental, my spiritual, my
00:08:36
emotional, my physical health. I've put
00:08:38
myself through a lot of things over the
00:08:41
years. So, I'm happy where I am right
00:08:43
now. And I think that's all that really
00:08:45
matters. Oh, you're so cool. Oh. Oh, you
00:08:49
are. You are. Oh, no. I've always I've
00:08:51
always been a fan. And when you say
00:08:52
something like that, it's um it's really
00:08:54
cool. You've just got such a you I think
00:08:56
you've always had just a really good
00:08:57
sense of who you are. Oh, thanks. Yeah.
00:08:59
I think I think mainly that comes from
00:09:01
probably my mom and dad, you know, very
00:09:04
humbling making sure that my mom
00:09:06
especially um you know, she always made
00:09:09
sure that we knew who we were um
00:09:11
culturally and um as women cuz I'm the
00:09:15
oldest of um three girls. Uh she just
00:09:18
always instilled in us that you know you
00:09:21
should never give up on your dreams and
00:09:22
what you want as a person and just
00:09:24
because you become a mother, just
00:09:26
because you get married, just because
00:09:28
you have these things going in your life
00:09:30
doesn't mean you ever give up on what
00:09:32
you want in life and where you want to
00:09:33
be and that dream, that vision that you
00:09:36
always hold on to. And she's always been
00:09:38
quite encouraging in that sense. So I
00:09:40
think a lot of that I owe to my mother
00:09:42
and father just on our surroundings and
00:09:45
making sure that family is before
00:09:48
anything else. Why would your mom say
00:09:50
that? Did she was there dreams that she
00:09:52
had that she didn't pursue or dreams
00:09:54
that she had that she did aggressively
00:09:56
pursue? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No,
00:09:57
definitely. Um so I was just checking to
00:10:01
see where I was right there. Um so yeah.
00:10:03
No, no, no. It it is definitely cuz um
00:10:06
my mom was the oldest of nine and you
00:10:10
know grew up at and and wasn't wealthy
00:10:13
at all, you know. Um I'm sure she
00:10:16
wouldn't mind me sharing that, you know,
00:10:17
there were times where times were that
00:10:18
tough that her and her sisters shared
00:10:21
underwear, you know, that her and her
00:10:23
sisters and and her family, they lived
00:10:25
in a tent, you know, like there there
00:10:27
was times were tough. And with my cord
00:10:29
not holding down a a consistent job,
00:10:32
there were always things that my mom
00:10:33
always aspired to and always dreamed of
00:10:35
and always wanted. And my mom was super
00:10:38
smart. My mom is smart and so clever.
00:10:41
And she joined the army to get out of it
00:10:44
cuz that was the only outlet. That was
00:10:46
the only way she was going to get out of
00:10:48
and make something of herself. And my
00:10:50
mom was pretty hearty, you know, from
00:10:53
girls, you know, out there, you know.
00:10:55
Um, but she also grew up in that era of
00:10:59
not really knowing her [ __ ] papa, not
00:11:01
really knowing who she was. And that was
00:11:03
something that she really yearned for.
00:11:05
Fast forward a few more years where she
00:11:07
meets my dad and they end up getting
00:11:08
married and my mom ends up, you know,
00:11:10
falling pregnant and having a family.
00:11:12
Obviously, she had to leave the army. So
00:11:14
then what was she going to do? And that
00:11:16
time of having children and just sitting
00:11:19
around and being a army wife, as they
00:11:23
would put it, she was like, I want more
00:11:26
than this. I'm not going to sit around
00:11:28
and wait for my husband to come back
00:11:30
from overseas and be the woman who sits
00:11:32
at home and just cooks and cleans all
00:11:34
the time. And there's nothing wrong with
00:11:36
that. But my mom wanted more. And I
00:11:38
suppose that's where I get that drive
00:11:39
from. I I want more. So she at a later
00:11:42
age decided well I'm going to go and I'm
00:11:45
going to train to be a teacher goes to
00:11:47
teachers training college and we were I
00:11:49
think we were living in Manoatu in
00:11:51
Palmer North at Linton camp and she
00:11:55
ended up going into teachers training
00:11:56
college and some amazing um kayoko there
00:12:00
some kua there said hey you're not
00:12:02
supposed to be in here you're supposed
00:12:03
to be over here you're going to be a
00:12:05
multi bilingual teacher and my mom was
00:12:07
like I have no idea about my [ __ ]
00:12:09
papapa I have no history
00:12:11
I don't know how to speak much like I
00:12:14
wasn't you know around too much except
00:12:17
for the little way and stuff that my mom
00:12:19
would sing to me as as I was a little
00:12:22
baby and I think I was probably about
00:12:25
six or seven maybe seven at this time
00:12:28
and she started teachers training
00:12:29
college of course um I didn't actually
00:12:32
get the chance to go into Kohhunga so I
00:12:34
was just picking up the deal that my mom
00:12:37
and my baby sister would talk about all
00:12:38
the time and that my mom would bring
00:12:40
home women that she was practicing. Um
00:12:42
my mom now though is fluent in Sidel
00:12:44
Mai. She became a mai um teacher. She um
00:12:48
worked at you know full immersion
00:12:50
kurakopa as well as you know other
00:12:53
bilingual units and things and you know
00:12:56
phenomenal. My mom just loves and soaks
00:12:59
up languages. You know you put a
00:13:01
language out there and she's like oh I'm
00:13:02
going to learn and she'll learn to have
00:13:03
a conversation with you in that
00:13:04
language. She's actually really amazing
00:13:06
like that. And yeah, that that had kind
00:13:09
of was the journey. And I think the fact
00:13:11
that she's always open to just learning
00:13:13
more and absorbing more that's always
00:13:16
rubbed off of me and my sisters. And so
00:13:18
it's just adapting to that environment
00:13:19
and just going, you know what, this is
00:13:22
living. And I I think a lot of that is
00:13:24
also from my core, her father, cuz he
00:13:26
always used to say to me, honk, life is
00:13:29
for the living. If you're going to do
00:13:31
something, honk was my nickname because
00:13:32
I'm the whitest in my family.
00:13:38
honky. So, um yeah, my um I won't tell
00:13:43
you what my mother's nickname was.
00:13:45
Jesus. Um but yeah, so um yeah, he
00:13:49
always just said to me, you know, life
00:13:51
is for the living. You got to get out
00:13:52
there, make good stories for your moors,
00:13:55
for your children, create memories. And
00:13:58
that's always stuck in my head. So, I
00:14:01
live life like, you know what? I want to
00:14:03
create memories. I want something, you
00:14:05
know, to be me, you know, for me to
00:14:07
remember out of this. I just don't want
00:14:09
to just do something just for shits and
00:14:11
giggles. I want to h have it be I want
00:14:15
to do things with intention. I want to
00:14:16
have a purpose for it, you know? And if
00:14:18
that means I'm helping somebody else, if
00:14:20
that means I'm sharing something else,
00:14:21
if that means that I'm able to go in
00:14:23
there and be a part to help somebody
00:14:25
else, then I'm all for it. So, you know,
00:14:28
it's always it's that drive of just
00:14:30
wanting to be better as a person. I
00:14:32
think once you stop learning, that's
00:14:35
when you know that you shouldn't be
00:14:36
where you're at at that time. You need
00:14:38
to shift gear and change direction.
00:14:41
That's so inspiring. What about your
00:14:43
dad? He he's Scottish. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:46
So, Scottish dad, moldy mom. Did you
00:14:48
grow you It seems like you grew up with
00:14:50
a good sense of who you were in terms of
00:14:51
like moldy culture and Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:53
Pretty much. Um as much as we could. My
00:14:55
my quarter was fun. So he's a part of
00:14:57
that generation, that lost generation.
00:15:00
Um he was uh kind of adopted or
00:15:02
orphaned. Okay. So his mother died um
00:15:05
when giving birth to him and his father
00:15:07
died uh just after he was conceived. Um
00:15:10
back in those days um when his mother
00:15:13
died, he was picked up and sent off to
00:15:14
an orphanage and he lived with various
00:15:16
random people. Has great stories to tell
00:15:18
about those. And like fostering. Yeah.
00:15:21
Yeah. Yeah. Like just like little foster
00:15:23
homes that he ended up in. Um but he was
00:15:25
a very very sick baby. Princess Deu
00:15:28
named him Mumora. Um because he was a
00:15:30
really sick baby and I guess just in
00:15:34
that lost generation when one of his
00:15:38
aunties from Watau came and got him, she
00:15:41
took him back to Watau, tried to marry
00:15:43
him off to his cousin apparently and um
00:15:46
he went oh hell no. and ran off to um
00:15:49
but long story short is that he never
00:15:52
knew and they wouldn't tell him who his
00:15:53
mother and father were. So it wasn't
00:15:55
until he was on his deathbed that we
00:15:57
actually found out who his mother and
00:15:59
father were, their names at least. Um
00:16:01
they're bur buried somewhere on top
00:16:04
mountain. We still can't find them, but
00:16:06
we know a little bit of where we are.
00:16:09
And we're
00:16:11
actually I think I think just as a faro
00:16:14
we're quite confident in one day the
00:16:17
truth will come out and one day we will
00:16:19
continue to find the answers but one day
00:16:21
we will we will get there you know until
00:16:23
then we know that our quarter was an
00:16:26
amazing man and he had an amazing family
00:16:28
and you know we know that side of our
00:16:30
our mai side. Yeah
00:16:34
that's so awesome. I think yeah I think
00:16:37
once you pass if you can have that sort
00:16:38
of impact on future generations I think
00:16:40
that's really powerful eh you know
00:16:42
knowing language just knowing what and
00:16:46
who Maldi culture is and what that is
00:16:50
here in Aladora I think that that kind
00:16:52
of gives you a little bit more mana and
00:16:54
a little bit more pride and a little bit
00:16:56
more um assertion into who you are. It
00:17:00
makes you feel just a little bit more
00:17:02
like you belong because okay, this is
00:17:04
what we are. This is who we are and this
00:17:07
is our history. And it doesn't have to
00:17:09
be on any particular ew. But just
00:17:12
looking at moldy culture in in the
00:17:14
overall and what we're trying to achieve
00:17:16
and what we've been fighting for, that's
00:17:19
got to give you some mana. That's got to
00:17:20
give you some pride. Just because you
00:17:22
don't know who your grandparents were,
00:17:24
where they're buried, where they from,
00:17:25
and stuff like that, just because you
00:17:26
don't know that yet doesn't mean that
00:17:28
you're any less mildy and that you don't
00:17:30
belong. And I think once we get past
00:17:32
that, you know, [ __ ] that shame
00:17:35
um and that hurt, then we can start to
00:17:38
live and we can start to be and we can
00:17:40
start to embrace and we can start to
00:17:42
learn.
00:17:44
So, your four youngest kids, they're um
00:17:46
half moldy, half Samoan. Yeah. And your
00:17:48
two eldest, they are they half Mexican?
00:17:50
Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. American. So,
00:17:53
yeah. How do you blend um these various
00:17:55
cultures in your in your household? Oh,
00:17:58
I think um in the beginning it was kind
00:18:00
of easy, you know, cuz I had less
00:18:04
children. When I was living in Los
00:18:07
Angeles, I had to teach myself how to
00:18:08
speak Spanish because or or Mexican
00:18:11
because um I was always getting ripped
00:18:13
off every time I went to the
00:18:15
markets and I never knew how much change
00:18:17
I was getting back. And I was like, um,
00:18:20
and like I would ask for like chicken
00:18:21
and they would give me something. I'm
00:18:23
like, that looks like chicken. Is that
00:18:25
what I wanted? So, I had to teach myself
00:18:28
how to speak Spanish to survive. Yeah.
00:18:31
Yeah, pretty much. And um it it was just
00:18:34
even just for asking for directions, you
00:18:36
know, just little things. So, I learned
00:18:38
how to speak a bit of Spanish. And it
00:18:41
was funny because I would jump in and
00:18:42
out of Mai and Spanish while I was
00:18:44
trying to speak to the kids, you know,
00:18:46
like I would be like, um,
00:18:49
And I'm like, I don't want them to pass
00:18:51
me the
00:18:53
door. Oh yeah. So, um, teaching the kids
00:18:57
a little bit about where they are, who
00:18:58
they are, and what they're from. Like,
00:19:00
we never hide it. They know who they
00:19:01
are. They know who they who their, um,
00:19:04
sperm donor is. And Oh, that's Yeah.
00:19:07
Their biological dad, your previous
00:19:09
partner. Yeah. And, uh, they they know
00:19:12
everything about him and and what what
00:19:15
the deal is. Um, so I just really just
00:19:17
leave it up to them. The first couple of
00:19:19
years, I think I tried to protect them.
00:19:21
So it was more of, you know, reach out
00:19:24
and and try and get him and force him to
00:19:26
be a part of their lives. But, you know,
00:19:29
as my dad said to me in that, you know,
00:19:32
hour of me in tears just not knowing
00:19:34
what to do as a solo mom, you know, why
00:19:37
is he not answering? Why does he not
00:19:39
want to be a part of their lives? Why
00:19:40
does he not even want to help them? You
00:19:42
know, here I am doing it on my own. It
00:19:44
was really hard cuz I was doing
00:19:45
breakfast at the time, a solo mom with
00:19:47
two children, you know, sleep again. Why
00:19:50
do I do this to
00:19:52
myself? But, you know, just seeing the
00:19:56
hurt and the pain on my kids every time
00:19:57
the phone would go to an answer machine
00:19:59
or every time I'd be like, I can't talk
00:20:01
right now. I'm in the studio. I can't I
00:20:03
I'll call you back. And and never called
00:20:05
back. The hurt that they had that would
00:20:08
frustrate me. And my dad just said to me
00:20:11
one day and it was just a light bulb
00:20:12
moment that he was just like, "Why? Why
00:20:17
are you standing there forcing him to be
00:20:19
a part of their life? If he wasn't there
00:20:22
before when he was with you, why are you
00:20:25
expecting him to be there now?" And I
00:20:27
was like, "Oh my gosh, why am I breaking
00:20:32
my back to bend over backwards to spend
00:20:35
hundreds of dollars ringing this person
00:20:38
every single day just to talk to his
00:20:40
children and he's not going to answer."
00:20:42
And and that was the heartbreaking
00:20:44
thing. And then when my dad said that, I
00:20:46
was just like, "You're right. I'm done.
00:20:49
I'm done." M and maybe maybe that's just
00:20:52
my personality, but once I make that
00:20:55
decision that I'm done, I'm done. Cool.
00:20:57
Move on. Okay, that's it. I'm not doing
00:20:59
that anymore. And life just got so much
00:21:02
more happier. Life just got so much more
00:21:04
easier. We had great adventures. And
00:21:07
eventually, I went on to meet my
00:21:11
partner, my husband now, and he's been a
00:21:13
part of their life longer than their
00:21:15
actual father has been. And they
00:21:17
consider him their dad. uh and that guy
00:21:21
who just lives in America. Um but he's
00:21:24
been there for them through thick and
00:21:26
thin and is still obviously still there
00:21:30
and he's been amazing. And their family
00:21:32
has just welcomed us with open arms and
00:21:36
it's never really been a thing. We don't
00:21:39
call ourselves a blended family. We
00:21:41
don't call him stepdad and step this and
00:21:44
all that kind of stuff. um they they it
00:21:48
was my children who decided to call him
00:21:50
dad. It I didn't ever force that on him.
00:21:53
Um and I didn't force that on them. It
00:21:55
was a decision that my children made. Um
00:21:58
but yeah, there was a time though that I
00:22:01
mean I didn't tell them the reasons why
00:22:03
I had left. But there was a time where
00:22:06
we a point in my son's life where we
00:22:09
actually had to sit down and have that
00:22:10
conversation with a therapist. And I
00:22:13
thought I was doing the right thing by
00:22:16
not telling them and
00:22:18
not making my son form a picture based
00:22:24
on what had happened to me and based,
00:22:26
you know, on on him um on the actual
00:22:29
father. But um yeah, cuz it was um and
00:22:32
we can we can get into this later and as
00:22:34
in as much or as little detail as what
00:22:36
you want, but um yeah, it was an abusive
00:22:38
relationship. Yeah. Yeah, it was. It
00:22:40
was. And not that it was always like
00:22:42
that. I mean, we were actually really
00:22:43
good friends. We were we were actually
00:22:45
really good mates. And that was, I
00:22:47
guess, the sad thing about it is that we
00:22:49
could still be really good friends,
00:22:51
but the fact that he wasn't willing to
00:22:55
work, the fact that we were homeless,
00:22:57
living in and out of motel and in a
00:22:59
truck. Um, the fact that we were
00:23:01
sleeping on his mother's floor with the
00:23:02
rats and roaches. like to turn around
00:23:05
and see cockroaches rolling all over the
00:23:07
couch that your child your baby's
00:23:09
sleeping on, you know, that that kind of
00:23:11
[ __ ] is just that's not on. And nor
00:23:13
should you ever treat anyone like that.
00:23:16
And it was just it was heartbreaking to
00:23:18
see like this is the place that I am and
00:23:20
this is where I'm bringing my children
00:23:21
up knowing that I had a loving family
00:23:24
who would move mountains in earth for me
00:23:28
and my children. and here we are in a
00:23:31
place where people are shooting at each
00:23:33
other where there's dead bodies lying in
00:23:34
the middle of the parks. Like, why am I
00:23:37
putting myself in this situation? And
00:23:39
then I had to look at the whole thing
00:23:40
of, you know, I I was done making
00:23:43
excuses for his abuse. I was done making
00:23:46
excuses for the fact that he wasn't
00:23:49
willing to step up for us. Um, I had a
00:23:53
fake driver's license. I was working
00:23:55
illegally. I was doing things that I I
00:23:58
didn't want to do, but I had to in order
00:24:00
to make ends meet. You know, the 99 cent
00:24:02
store was my best and favorite and
00:24:04
life-saving store to go to cuz I could
00:24:07
make a whole meal for a whole week at
00:24:09
the 99 cent store. Like to be
00:24:11
resourceful like that, you know, and it
00:24:13
I think now that I look back at it, it
00:24:15
it still hurts me that I put myself and
00:24:17
my children in that situation. But then
00:24:19
at the same
00:24:21
time, I'm proud of myself as well. I
00:24:25
mean, yes, I it took me too long to make
00:24:27
the decision to leave and it almost cost
00:24:31
me my life, but at the same time, I'm
00:24:34
proud that I did get to walk away and
00:24:37
that my kids do have an amazing life and
00:24:40
they have an amazing father and we have
00:24:42
a great family and yeah, we we are at a
00:24:46
place in and a time in our life and that
00:24:48
my children are very self-aware and
00:24:52
yeah, I'm I'm just really grateful
00:24:54
that, you know, I I I choose not to
00:24:56
dwell in that moment. I choose not to
00:24:59
live in that moment and let that moment
00:25:00
define me only because if I did, it
00:25:03
would probably eat me up and that's not
00:25:06
fair on my children. And it's not fair
00:25:07
on me. You know, I've still got lots of
00:25:10
life to live.
00:25:12
Oh, that's heartbreaking cuz you you're
00:25:14
just such a giving person and you want
00:25:16
to you want to see the good in people.
00:25:18
And I I can see how something like this
00:25:19
would happen. like it would start good
00:25:21
and then it would just like gradually
00:25:23
incrementally like get worse and worse
00:25:24
and worse and before you know it it's
00:25:26
been x amount of years. Well, it's your
00:25:27
it's your typical um battered woman
00:25:29
syndrome. It is. And and I never
00:25:31
understood what that was. Of course, I
00:25:33
seen it. I watched it. You know, I knew
00:25:35
people that had gone through it, but I
00:25:36
was like, "Oh, no. That's not me. I'm
00:25:38
surely I'd be strong enough to say
00:25:40
something. I'd be strong enough to do
00:25:41
something." But it wasn't until you're
00:25:43
in a country with no family, no support
00:25:45
around you or anything like that and
00:25:47
you've got responsibilities like looking
00:25:48
after two kids that the the the you say
00:25:52
something out of turn and you get a
00:25:54
punch to the eye. Um you realize that
00:25:56
he's been married to somebody else the
00:25:57
whole entire time and you end up being
00:25:59
thrown down the stairs and a broken
00:26:01
nose. um you know, you you get held
00:26:04
pretty much at ransom. Like, pick a
00:26:07
child or or you know, you're never going
00:26:10
to see this one again. You'll be damned
00:26:12
if you're going to take my children away
00:26:13
from me. So, pick a child and and you
00:26:16
take one and I'll take the other. I'm
00:26:18
like, "All right, you've got me twisted.
00:26:20
I'm not leaving my children here with
00:26:21
you. I will stay here for them and
00:26:24
protect them if that's the case." Um,
00:26:26
and then when I finally had the courage
00:26:29
to leave, he put a belt around my neck
00:26:31
and choked me till I blacked out. And
00:26:33
when I came to, he I could see my
00:26:36
children under a blanket screaming and
00:26:38
and crying and calling out for me. And
00:26:42
he was on top of me like getting the
00:26:45
belt to put around my neck and
00:26:47
and all I heard him say was, "One of us
00:26:49
is leaving in a body bag and it won't be
00:26:51
him." And I was just something in me,
00:26:56
whether it was God talking to me or
00:26:58
something, I just remember that whole
00:27:00
this is not what I planned for your
00:27:01
life. This is not where you're meant to
00:27:03
be. This is not what you want your
00:27:06
daughter to see what love is and see how
00:27:09
a man treats a woman. This is not how
00:27:11
you want your son to grow up. And that
00:27:14
like this is not your time. This is not
00:27:16
you. This is I've got more for you. This
00:27:19
is these are the things that I was
00:27:20
hearing. And I started kicking,
00:27:22
screaming, and just hitting and trying
00:27:25
to muster up enough energy to get him
00:27:27
off me. And it was his little brother
00:27:30
that came through the door from the
00:27:32
liquor store just down the road, heard
00:27:34
all this cuz he had locked the door and
00:27:36
broke the door down. And then they
00:27:37
started scrapping it out. I had packed a
00:27:40
bag and I had said to him that I was
00:27:42
leaving to go to a friend's house and
00:27:44
that he wasn't welcome there. And that
00:27:46
was it. That's that's how it all
00:27:48
started.
00:27:49
Um, and yeah, I ended up taking the kids
00:27:53
and leaving and going to a friend's
00:27:55
house. And I'm forever in her debt
00:27:58
because if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't
00:28:01
have known how to survive um in the
00:28:04
situation that I was in, not being able
00:28:05
to have a job, not being able to work.
00:28:07
Um, I wouldn't have been able to even
00:28:10
feed the children, let alone, you know,
00:28:12
put something together. And it just so
00:28:15
happened that when I was staying at her
00:28:17
house, I finally got the chance to go on
00:28:20
my Facebook page because I didn't have
00:28:21
any phone. I didn't have any way to
00:28:23
connect or contact my family. And I went
00:28:26
on my Facebook, remembered my
00:28:28
password. And just another divine
00:28:33
intervention, you know, I get a message
00:28:36
from Nixon. Hey, what are you up to?
00:28:39
When do you think you're coming back to
00:28:40
New Zealand? And I was like, why? What's
00:28:42
up? And he's like, "Remember how we
00:28:43
always talked about doing a show
00:28:45
together? Would you want to do my f
00:28:48
breakfast?" I'm like, "Fuck yeah, let's
00:28:51
do it." I'm like, "Just get me three
00:28:54
plane tickets and we'll sort out the
00:28:56
rest when I get back." And if it wasn't
00:28:58
for Nixon, Clark, and and Leon Rat for
00:29:01
getting me across and getting me and my
00:29:03
kids home, I don't think that I'd be
00:29:06
here to tell that story.
00:29:08
Did Did Nixon know what was going on or
00:29:10
did he just want you to come back
00:29:11
because he thought, "Oh, Kaye, the
00:29:12
former singer, she'll be good." Yeah,
00:29:14
she's done a bit of radio. No one knew
00:29:16
what was going on. My parents, I've
00:29:18
heard bits and pieces about this over
00:29:19
the years, so I knew it was um a bad
00:29:20
place. I had no idea it was it was that
00:29:22
bad. Yeah, that's um
00:29:26
Well, I learned a lot. I learned a lot
00:29:28
about myself. I learned a lot, you know.
00:29:30
A lot of things happened over there. It
00:29:32
wasn't all glitz and glamour in
00:29:34
Hollywood like everyone thought, you
00:29:36
know. So, you know, I was kidnapped and
00:29:39
had a gunpoint.
00:29:42
What the
00:29:43
[ __ ] I was going to I was going to park
00:29:46
this and and go go back and do the Kayie
00:29:48
story in chronological order, but since
00:29:49
we're on this, we may as well get this
00:29:50
crunchy stuff out of the way and then we
00:29:52
can go back to the fun stuff.
00:29:54
How about And you said something before
00:29:56
about like like bodies in the park. That
00:29:58
was a rare that you may that happened
00:30:00
once. No. So, where we were living, um,
00:30:02
we were living right next to Watts
00:30:04
towers and, um, the day before Macy Gray
00:30:09
was supposed to film her video clip in,
00:30:11
um, Watts Park, uh, there happened to be
00:30:14
a shooting that night and there was a
00:30:15
dead body in the park and we could see
00:30:19
it from our driveway. You know, normally
00:30:21
I would take the kids for a walk around
00:30:22
the Watts Park cuz that's the only place
00:30:23
that I was allowed to go. I wasn't
00:30:25
allowed to walk any further, not allowed
00:30:26
to take them anywhere else without him
00:30:28
being there. Um, and yeah, he was there.
00:30:32
It was the person was there. They talked
00:30:34
him out, had them over, cleaned up the
00:30:35
park, and then the very next day, Macy
00:30:37
Gay came in to do video. No one was any
00:30:39
the wiser.
00:30:42
Um, Macy Gay's got this little little
00:30:44
known song, unless you're a big Macy
00:30:46
Gray fan, you wouldn't know the song,
00:30:47
but a song called Still, which is um
00:30:49
like it's a domestic violence song. And
00:30:52
um yeah, she talks about um the abuse in
00:30:55
the relationship and then you know um
00:30:57
then he lights up and he's apologetic
00:30:59
and she melts again. It's [ __ ] sad.
00:31:01
It's really sad song. And that's exactly
00:31:03
it. That's exactly it. That's exactly
00:31:05
it. How long was it good for in the
00:31:07
beginning?
00:31:08
Um when we actually cuz I met him on the
00:31:11
Corio tour. Um were you seeing Kio for a
00:31:14
while? There's some articles
00:31:15
online some stuff online that said you
00:31:17
were dating for a while. No no no no no
00:31:20
no. Kio's DJ. Um
00:31:25
okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Take a step
00:31:26
down. Um no. Yeah. So he was DJing for
00:31:30
Kulio and I had met him. Um we had
00:31:32
become really good mates and everything
00:31:33
like that and obviously you know the
00:31:35
rest had just followed on. We had lived
00:31:37
here in New Zealand for a few years and
00:31:39
that was great until it wasn't. And I
00:31:43
guess right then and there I think there
00:31:44
the first time that he ever hit me was
00:31:46
um at a gig that we had been at
00:31:49
and I kind of thought, oh maybe it was
00:31:52
my fault, you know, and I think I should
00:31:55
have realized the flags then, but it
00:31:58
only happened that once and didn't
00:31:59
happen again for another year or so. And
00:32:02
then um he went on tour again I think
00:32:05
with Kio and Poland or something like
00:32:07
that. And then we went and and we were
00:32:09
going backwards and forwards together to
00:32:11
America and back. And it wasn't until I
00:32:14
was supposed to go over and I went I did
00:32:16
go over to do a tour with Adjar and
00:32:18
stuff around LA. And that's when we
00:32:22
decided yeah I I would I would move
00:32:24
over. I would stay and everything and
00:32:26
and of course you know things would work
00:32:28
out and we'd find a way to make it work
00:32:30
you know. Um, and it wasn't until I
00:32:32
actually moved over, probably about a
00:32:34
year into being there, that things just
00:32:37
everything just changed. His whole
00:32:39
personality, the demeanor, the whole
00:32:41
situation. Um, was it methreated or
00:32:44
anything or No, no, no, no, no. That it,
00:32:49
you know, maybe I could have made that
00:32:50
excuse if it was, but No, it wasn't. No,
00:32:53
not using anything as an excuse, but No.
00:32:55
No. But I mean
00:32:56
like you know when I had to tell my son
00:32:59
cuz we had to go to therapy and I
00:33:03
thought I was protecting him by not
00:33:04
telling him the reasons why we left and
00:33:06
what happened. Um you know I just did
00:33:10
the whole you know we didn't love each
00:33:12
other anymore and mommy had to come back
00:33:15
to New Zealand and bring you two with me
00:33:17
and you know this is where our life is
00:33:20
now. You know this is what we're about
00:33:22
and he still loves you. he still wants
00:33:23
to be a part of your life. And that's
00:33:24
what I would always say. Um and and they
00:33:28
just never talked to him. They just
00:33:29
never heard from him for years and years
00:33:30
and years. And it got to the point where
00:33:32
obviously he was trying to search for
00:33:33
his own identity as a young, you know,
00:33:35
boy and he was acting out. We had some
00:33:38
situations and we had to go to a
00:33:39
therapist and we sat there and she just
00:33:43
said to me like, "I know you think
00:33:45
you're protecting him, but he actually
00:33:46
needs to know because so many people
00:33:48
were telling him stories and so many
00:33:50
people were saying things that just
00:33:52
weren't true that he would believe all
00:33:54
these things." And well, like putting
00:33:55
him on a on a pedestal or No, they just
00:33:58
they just said, "Oh, maybe he did this
00:33:59
to your mom. Maybe he did that to your
00:34:00
mom. Maybe maybe you're the way you the
00:34:02
reason why you're like that is because
00:34:04
of this." You know, and they were just
00:34:05
telling him things. I don't know why
00:34:07
they were because none of it was true.
00:34:09
So I ended up just having to tell him
00:34:13
and it broke me to
00:34:16
hear my son turn around and tell
00:34:21
me. It still makes me upset when I hear
00:34:24
this.
00:34:26
That's cuz you're a good mama. Oh,
00:34:27
thanks. Try to be. Um, he turned around
00:34:31
to me when I told him why we
00:34:34
left and he said,
00:34:37
"Mom, because he's my dad, am I going to
00:34:40
be like that? Am I going to hurt people
00:34:43
like that? Cuz I don't want to hurt my
00:34:45
mom or my wife or my children like
00:34:48
that." And he goes, "Is that in my
00:34:52
blood?" You know, for a 9-year-old to
00:34:54
think that, you know, and I that broke
00:34:57
me. And I said to him, absolutely
00:35:01
not. These are consequences of your
00:35:05
decisions and he hasn't matured enough
00:35:09
to take responsibility of those
00:35:12
actions. So if you decide that you're
00:35:15
going to go down that road and hurt
00:35:17
someone that you love, that's a decision
00:35:20
that you've made and you must suck up
00:35:23
the consequences for that. Whether
00:35:25
that's going to jail, whether that's
00:35:27
hurting someone to the point where they
00:35:29
don't want to be with you anymore,
00:35:31
whether you break your relationship or
00:35:32
your family, that's a consequence that
00:35:34
you will have to live with for the rest
00:35:36
of your life. It's not anybody's fault.
00:35:39
It's not anybody's else's decision but
00:35:41
your own. So in that moment, you have to
00:35:44
think, if I go down this road, what is
00:35:47
the consequences? If I go down that
00:35:49
road, what are the consequences?
00:35:52
He genuinely thought that the reason why
00:35:54
he was so angry and the reason why he
00:35:57
was acting out as a 9-year-old boy
00:36:00
trying to figure out who he was, where
00:36:02
he belonged was because he carried this
00:36:05
gene that he was an abusive person that
00:36:08
he inherited from his father, you know.
00:36:12
So, you know, that that to me hurt me
00:36:14
more than having to tell him what
00:36:17
happened to me or even just the
00:36:20
realization of actually
00:36:22
leaving. So, you know, he's an amazing
00:36:25
young man, my son, and he couldn't be
00:36:29
further than the opposite of who his
00:36:33
father was. And and he's just the most
00:36:36
kindest, most beautiful person. And I
00:36:40
I'm just so grateful that, you know, my
00:36:43
kids are like that, you know, that they
00:36:45
can see the be the good in people. And
00:36:47
he is exactly, you know, that person.
00:36:49
Every day is a new day. He never holds
00:36:51
grudges. And he's just such a beautiful
00:36:53
person. Beautiful young man. And um
00:36:56
yeah, I try to tell him and remind him
00:36:58
that every day that he is that beautiful
00:37:00
person.
00:37:03
Jeez, I wasn't expecting to be this
00:37:04
emotional half an hour. Half an hour in.
00:37:07
Jeez. Is that all? Oh, already half an
00:37:10
hour in. Wow. Um but you know that that
00:37:14
is parenting, you know, that that's you
00:37:17
know, and then there's the other side of
00:37:19
having a blended family
00:37:20
where my um uh mine and my husband's uh
00:37:25
older son, he actually turned around to
00:37:28
us a couple of years ago and he said to
00:37:30
me and his dad that we were hiding a
00:37:32
secret from him and he was really upset
00:37:34
and we're thinking, "Oh, what's the
00:37:35
secret that we're hiding?" And he was
00:37:37
like, "Whoa. And he was like, "How come
00:37:39
you didn't tell me that my older brother
00:37:42
and
00:37:43
sister don't have the same last name,
00:37:46
that they're not my real brother and
00:37:48
sister?" I was like, "What do you mean?"
00:37:50
And I didn't realize that part of having
00:37:53
a blended family. I didn't realize, oh
00:37:56
my gosh, yes, that there is that part of
00:37:59
telling these children that you've had
00:38:01
after the fact, you know, that yes, they
00:38:05
are indeed your half brother and sister.
00:38:08
And that hurt our older son. That hurt
00:38:12
my son. And um I he he's he understands
00:38:16
it now. And he still ask questions every
00:38:19
now and then. But I'm thinking, damn,
00:38:21
I've got three more kids. I have to go
00:38:23
through and answer.
00:38:24
I was like, that's a lot of hard
00:38:26
conversations. Can't you just do it, you
00:38:28
know, do it in one group setting? But
00:38:30
then, you know, I have the whole the
00:38:32
whole spectrum. I've got teenagers and
00:38:34
then I've got the the the te the twins
00:38:37
and then I've got these babies. So, I'm
00:38:40
like constantly every day going from one
00:38:42
spectrum to the other, you know. So, I
00:38:45
suppose the the babies will just grow up
00:38:46
just knowing it is what it is. Well, and
00:38:49
it won't be a thing. Yes. And and and
00:38:51
you know what, my um our 10-year-old
00:38:53
probably would have just kept on going
00:38:54
like that, but he's so damn clever and
00:38:56
he's so inquisitive and he's so nosy
00:38:58
like me.
00:39:00
Are you nosy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I want
00:39:03
to I want I want to know why. I want to
00:39:05
know how. I want to know how does that
00:39:07
work? What does that do? When can we do
00:39:08
it? Why can we do this? What was that? I
00:39:11
was always that inquisitive kid. Always
00:39:12
ask questions. And he's exactly like
00:39:14
that. Yeah. So the LA years, how many
00:39:18
how many how many years were it? Was it
00:39:19
when was it from and two? Uh from I left
00:39:23
two end of 2005, came back 2011,
00:39:27
beginning of 2011. Six years.
00:39:30
Yeah. So, six years of hell. Yeah,
00:39:33
probably five. Probably five years. Five
00:39:36
years. And when I know you're you're
00:39:38
you're a proud proud Maldi woman. Um but
00:39:41
when you're you know on phone calls home
00:39:43
or whatever, what are you saying to your
00:39:44
mom and dad? Do they think everything's
00:39:46
all good? Could they sense something was
00:39:47
up? Did they know something was up?
00:39:49
Um, so it wasn't until um we came home
00:39:54
that
00:39:56
um we were obviously I moved it moved
00:39:59
back in with mom and dad and they helped
00:40:00
me out a lot cuz I was doing breakfast
00:40:02
and I had two small children that were
00:40:05
two and one that um that were just you
00:40:08
know needed to be looked after. Well,
00:40:10
three and two. Um and yeah, they I was
00:40:14
play fighting with my dad as I always
00:40:16
did. you know, my dad never had boys, so
00:40:19
you know, I was the tomboy wrestling
00:40:21
with my dad and everything. Probably why
00:40:23
I, you know, was so good at boxing and
00:40:25
that. But, um, yeah, it wasn't until I
00:40:29
was play fighting with my dad that my
00:40:32
son just screamed and screamed and
00:40:36
started hitting my dad like, "Get off my
00:40:38
mom's. Don't go away from my mom. Don't
00:40:40
hurt my mom. Leave my mommy alone." And
00:40:42
he screamed and screamed. And it wasn't
00:40:44
just a a whiny kid scream. It was a
00:40:48
fearful, really, really big scream. And
00:40:50
my dad stopped, my mom stopped and I was
00:40:54
like, "Oh, son, you know, come here,
00:40:55
come here, come here, come here." You
00:40:56
know, and I didn't think of anything of
00:40:58
it. And I was like, "Oh, calm him down."
00:41:01
And stuff like that. I was like, "Oh,
00:41:02
he's probably just tired." You know,
00:41:03
"Come on, son. D calmed him down." And,
00:41:05
you know, came back down. And when I
00:41:07
came back down, my mom and dad were
00:41:08
sitting at the table and you know that
00:41:10
typical, you know, you're in trouble.
00:41:13
They're sitting at the coffee table, at
00:41:14
the dinner table. They've got a cup of
00:41:16
tea and there's a chair sitting there.
00:41:18
They're both sitting together and
00:41:19
they're like, "Come and sit down. We
00:41:23
need to talk." And I was like, "Uhoh,
00:41:26
I'm in trouble."
00:41:28
God, you you're a grown ass woman.
00:41:30
You're a mom of your own, but you revert
00:41:32
back to being a little little myself.
00:41:35
I'm still [ __ ] myself. And you know,
00:41:36
my mom's got that look on her, that real
00:41:39
and my dad's
00:41:42
like, "Girl, you got some explaining to
00:41:44
do." So, yeah. And I I literally had to
00:41:47
explain to them what really was going
00:41:49
on, what happened.
00:41:52
And my dad was really disappointed that
00:41:56
I didn't tell him earlier cuz he said he
00:41:59
would have been on the first plane over
00:42:00
there and he would have. And my mom was
00:42:02
really hurt and she just my mom at the
00:42:05
at the beginning couldn't understand how
00:42:07
how could you, you know, but you're such
00:42:10
a strong woman. You're just this and and
00:42:13
my my mom has never my dad's never been
00:42:15
abusive to my mom. So I' never grown up
00:42:17
in that environment or anything like
00:42:18
that. So, you know, for us to be in that
00:42:21
environment, you know, it was just
00:42:24
unfathomable. Um but my mom understands
00:42:28
that you know these are some of the
00:42:30
things that we have put ourselves in and
00:42:33
I put myself in and you know that I was
00:42:37
very prideful and
00:42:39
I was I guess under the impression of
00:42:43
you make your bed, you lie in it and you
00:42:46
get yourself out of it. You know this is
00:42:48
this was your choice. You decided to
00:42:50
stay here for this and you're enabling
00:42:52
it. So you need to do something about
00:42:55
it. And and to some point there is that
00:42:58
ownership on us as women, on us as even
00:43:02
as men. Um you know, you need to make
00:43:05
the decision to put yourself first and
00:43:08
you need to stop making excuses for that
00:43:11
person, you know, and so I knew that I
00:43:15
wasn't actually doing anything good for
00:43:18
my children by staying. and in fact I
00:43:21
was making it worse even though I
00:43:22
thought by staying I was protecting
00:43:24
them. Um so leaving was going to be the
00:43:28
better option leaving and knowing that
00:43:30
it was going to be okay with just us
00:43:32
two. And and I think that's when I was
00:43:35
like okay I I need to make that decision
00:43:37
and and once I finally came to and I I
00:43:42
was like right now how do I actually get
00:43:44
myself out of this? I for some reason I
00:43:47
always managed to fall on my feet. I
00:43:49
always manage to hustle
00:43:51
something. I'm pretty
00:43:54
resourceful. So, yeah. Yeah, it's one of
00:43:57
those things. But I look back on my life
00:44:00
and I don't hate it. I don't hate those
00:44:03
5 years, you know, and I don't I met
00:44:05
some amazing people. I met some loving
00:44:08
people who I'm still great friends with
00:44:09
today. And I've gone through some
00:44:12
amazing things that I have great stories
00:44:14
to tell. Even to this point where I get
00:44:16
to tell my 17 almost to be 18-year-old
00:44:19
daughter, hey, I was out at gunpoint.
00:44:21
This is how I got out of
00:44:23
it. You know, so and she's like, "Okay,
00:44:27
mom. I know." I'm like, "If you're ever
00:44:30
in that situation, you know, because you
00:44:33
just never know. You think you can walk
00:44:34
around and think this is never going to
00:44:36
happen to me. Me and a friend are going
00:44:37
for a walk. I'm at the point not knowing
00:44:40
that I'm three and a half months
00:44:41
pregnant with my oldest daughter and so
00:44:44
she's been held up at gunpoint too
00:44:45
arguably technically um you know I get a
00:44:49
44 revolver in the back of my
00:44:51
head and I'm walking with my friend so
00:44:54
we both just stop stand still De's Park
00:44:57
El Monte
00:44:59
and he tells us don't make any sudden
00:45:02
moves or I'll blow your brains out and I
00:45:05
can feel the gun in the back of my head
00:45:07
I can feel that is quite large. So, I'm
00:45:09
not going to move. I won't even
00:45:12
blink. Please believe I was like trying
00:45:15
to take the most smallest breaths. And
00:45:18
then I slowly turn around and he's got
00:45:20
it in my forehead this time. Um, and
00:45:22
then he puts it down to my chest. And
00:45:25
from that moment on, I don't take my
00:45:28
eyes off him. Uh it was something that
00:45:30
my dad always said cuz my dad was a
00:45:32
military police in the army and he
00:45:34
always said, you know, you always stay
00:45:36
calm. Never panic if you're in in any
00:45:38
situation because it's not going to help
00:45:40
you. You can't think straight when
00:45:42
you're panicking. Fight or flight or
00:45:45
freeze. Which one are you? I now realize
00:45:48
that I am the fighter. And I could have
00:45:51
told you that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty
00:45:54
much if I was the guy, oh no, not here.
00:45:57
Not here. Um, and he took us down a
00:46:00
bank. He um told us that he wanted to do
00:46:03
some really hilarious
00:46:06
things, if I could put it lightly. Um,
00:46:09
and that he wanted us to undo our
00:46:11
shoelaces and tie each other up. Um, of
00:46:14
course, I pretended not to know how to
00:46:15
tie a knot. Um, and and you know, make
00:46:19
it look like as if I can tie a knot. Uh,
00:46:21
my friend at the time, she had just had
00:46:23
a baby and also had an operation for
00:46:26
gallstones. So, there was a point when
00:46:28
he took us down this bank in this park
00:46:31
that I was like, "I can run really fast.
00:46:34
Let me just pull you. I will pull you.
00:46:37
Please believe." I was like, "All you
00:46:38
have to do is just let your legs just
00:46:40
run." And she was like, "No, no, no, no,
00:46:42
no. We can't. We can't." Because at the
00:46:43
bottom of that bank was another gang um
00:46:46
occupied area. And yeah, that was like
00:46:51
she's like, "We don't know if that's his
00:46:52
hood. We don't know if that's his
00:46:54
people." And I was like, "Damn, okay."
00:46:56
like I'm going to trust you. I don't
00:46:57
know any different. Um but when he said
00:47:01
what he wanted to do to us and and for
00:47:03
us to tie each other up that uh she
00:47:07
started convulsing and gagging and
00:47:10
things like that. Sorry if you're a bit
00:47:11
squeamish. And um she was he was like
00:47:15
what's wrong with you? You know uh and I
00:47:18
remember her saying we're sick. I'm
00:47:20
sick. I'm really really sick. And he was
00:47:23
like what do you mean? And I'm still
00:47:24
standing there holding shoelaces going,
00:47:27
"Yeah, we're sick. We're sick." And I'm
00:47:30
looking around cuz I'm thinking, "It's a
00:47:32
park. It's grubby. It's dirty." Like,
00:47:35
"Where's a a can? Where's a bottle?
00:47:38
Where's something that I can pick up to
00:47:39
stab him?" I was ready to kill him. I
00:47:42
was ready to commit murder in order to
00:47:44
save my life. And I can say that, you
00:47:47
know, openly because I was not willing
00:47:50
to do the things that he was saying to
00:47:51
do. And I was not willing to be shot.
00:47:54
And I was really looking for something
00:47:55
to hurt him with. And if that meant
00:47:57
stabbing him in the throat with a Coke
00:47:59
can or finding a piece of broken glass
00:48:02
and trying to cut him with it, then I
00:48:05
was willing to do that and to make a run
00:48:08
for it. But then at the same time, I was
00:48:10
also like, I can't let her stay here.
00:48:13
She couldn't run because not only was
00:48:15
there that that gang paid down the down
00:48:18
the area down the bottom, but she had
00:48:19
also had fresh stitches from her
00:48:21
gallstone operation.
00:48:23
So yeah, I'm sick. I'm sick. What are
00:48:25
you guys sick with? And all I could
00:48:27
think was chlamyia or HIV and you can
00:48:30
get rid of chlamydia. So I was like,
00:48:32
we're HIV positive. And he was like,
00:48:34
what do you mean? He was like, "Oh, I I
00:48:37
I said, "Oh, we got tattoos and we're
00:48:40
we're we come from a support group and
00:48:42
we're each other's support people making
00:48:43
sure that, you know, we check in on each
00:48:45
other, take medication together. She's
00:48:48
late for her medication." He was like,
00:48:50
"What do you mean?" And she's like, now
00:48:52
at this point, she's on all fours, like
00:48:55
gagging, throwing, throing at the mouth,
00:48:57
like like she she's actually in in a
00:49:00
panic state. And I'm just spinning the
00:49:02
biggest [ __ ] lies out of my
00:49:06
mouth. And I and he's like, "Well, you
00:49:08
can do other things." And then I'm
00:49:10
thinking, "Oh, you put that thing near
00:49:11
me, I'm going to bite it off."
00:49:13
Um, but at the same time, like I was
00:49:17
just really trying to cut through the
00:49:21
the high the the the person that I could
00:49:23
the gl the glazed over person who was
00:49:26
high obviously on drugs and cut through
00:49:29
and try and trying
00:49:31
to I don't know in my head I'm like if I
00:49:35
can just get to the person that's human
00:49:37
inside there if I can just talk him down
00:49:40
and I'm like come on man Like she's
00:49:42
she's you don't want to be a murderer
00:49:44
and a rapist. Like she's really sick.
00:49:47
She needs her medication. Like we got
00:49:50
these from getting we got HIV from
00:49:52
getting tattoos. I didn't have any
00:49:54
tattoos at that stage by the way. So
00:49:56
lucky he didn't ask me where's your
00:49:58
tattoo. Yeah. What did you get?
00:50:02
Um but you know I just like come on man
00:50:05
like you know just let me go back and
00:50:07
get the medication. I'll come right
00:50:09
back. Blah blah blah. you know, and he's
00:50:11
he's at this stage, he's now pacing.
00:50:13
He's like trying to think. He the gun's
00:50:16
come down now, and I'm just I'm still
00:50:18
standing still. I'm not trying to make
00:50:20
any sudden movements. And he's pacing
00:50:22
back and forth, looking at her, looking
00:50:24
at me. And he's like, "Fine, you've got
00:50:27
10 seconds. Run and then come back." And
00:50:29
I was like, "Yeah, okay." And I just
00:50:31
looked at her. And she was like, "Just
00:50:33
go." And he's
00:50:35
like, I I ran and I my heart like, can
00:50:41
you imagine like running with a camera
00:50:43
and the camera's just going all over the
00:50:45
place? That's what I felt like when I
00:50:48
was running up that hill and sprinting
00:50:50
across the car park. Like I I had a
00:50:53
sense of a direction, but I actually
00:50:55
didn't know what I was looking for. I
00:50:56
didn't know where what I was looking at.
00:50:59
It was just shaky camera trees and park
00:51:03
and pathways and benches and I was like,
00:51:06
"Shit, what do I do? What do I do? Okay,
00:51:08
I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Okay, I need
00:51:09
to get a phone. I need to get some
00:51:11
police." I go to three cars in the car
00:51:14
park and they lock their doors and they
00:51:15
wind their windows
00:51:17
up. You know, you would never get that
00:51:19
here in New Zealand. Someone would help
00:51:21
you, but there they don't want to be a
00:51:24
part of anything.
00:51:26
And it was this old man, this old
00:51:28
Mexican man who didn't speak a lick of
00:51:30
English. And I was
00:51:35
like, and he was like, "See, see see
00:51:38
like I was like and he's like, "Okay."
00:51:41
So he gives me his cell phone and
00:51:44
I This I think this is the first time
00:51:47
I've ever realized that I actually did
00:51:48
this, but I called
00:51:52
11191. Clearly, you know, a kid that was
00:51:54
raised on the Simpsons. Oh. or or
00:51:56
police, you know, 911. But um yeah, so
00:52:00
um it didn't go through the first time
00:52:02
and then he I like I'm shaking. He gives
00:52:04
the phone. He's saying and anyway, I get
00:52:06
there. Um at that stage, more people
00:52:10
start coming down and a rangers truck
00:52:13
comes through. A ranger truck comes
00:52:14
through and I tell him what happened and
00:52:17
he turns on his
00:52:19
siren
00:52:21
and he the guy that was down there who
00:52:24
held us with the gun does a runner,
00:52:26
barricades himself in the house. Um it
00:52:29
was on Fox News as well. Um the
00:52:31
helicopter, police, dogs, all that track
00:52:34
him to this house and he was at his
00:52:35
grandma's house barricaded himself in
00:52:37
there for um almost 24 hours. Uh, turns
00:52:42
out when we ended up going to court that
00:52:46
the day before he had actually raped and
00:52:50
and beaten an actual young girl.
00:52:54
And because he had done it, he thought
00:52:57
he could do it again. And she
00:53:01
unfortunately went home and had a
00:53:02
shower. And so they couldn't get any
00:53:04
evidence. But she had made a police
00:53:07
report. We were that corroborative story
00:53:12
during that
00:53:13
altercation. Um he had left some some
00:53:17
some marks on some of her items. So they
00:53:20
had
00:53:21
fingerprints. At one stage when we were
00:53:24
down there he my friend needed a bag.
00:53:26
She was like I can't breathe. I can't
00:53:27
breathe. And the only thing that um he I
00:53:31
could see was a a plastic bag that was
00:53:33
buried in the dirt. So it was underneath
00:53:34
the dirt. kind of like the old school
00:53:36
fruit bags we used to
00:53:38
have. He I said, "Oh, look. There's a
00:53:40
bag." He goes, "Pick it up." Holding the
00:53:43
gun at me, I grab it and for some
00:53:47
unbeknown to me reason, I pick it up.
00:53:51
But when I pick it up, I somehow I pull
00:53:55
it inside out. So where the dirt was,
00:54:00
that is now on the outside. He gets his
00:54:03
hand and his whole handprint is now on
00:54:06
that bag and he gives it to
00:54:08
her. She then takes the bag and she's
00:54:14
turned it inside out again and when
00:54:16
she's blown on it, it's now pressed his
00:54:19
handprint somewhere on that. And so they
00:54:22
were a able to get a full handprint plus
00:54:24
mine, my fingerprints and her
00:54:26
fingerprints on there that match those
00:54:29
fingerprints. On top of the fact that um
00:54:31
my description because I never took my
00:54:33
eyes off him, I could pinpoint every
00:54:35
fre, every little piece that was on his
00:54:38
face down to his neck and what was
00:54:40
written on his clothes that they got and
00:54:43
fibers that they found, which was my
00:54:45
hair, her the girl from the day before
00:54:48
that he had raped her hair and all that
00:54:50
kind of stuff. So yeah, ended up having
00:54:52
to go to court and stuff and
00:54:54
testify. But um Jesus. Yeah. But but
00:54:58
when we think about it and and both me
00:55:00
and my friend at the time, you know,
00:55:02
we've talked about it since and stuff
00:55:04
and we kind of laugh a little bit cuz
00:55:06
gee, we were such
00:55:08
actresses. Sha Street, where you at?
00:55:11
Why didn't you
00:55:13
um instead of coming up with that
00:55:15
elaborate elaborate story, did you not
00:55:16
think to go please like come on, I'm
00:55:18
pregnant. I didn't know I was pregnant.
00:55:20
Oh, you didn't know. No, no, but I did
00:55:22
say that she was a mom and I did say
00:55:24
that she had had a baby. There was We
00:55:26
had There was lots of things that I
00:55:27
tried to do and stall and he was getting
00:55:30
angry, so I knew not to piss him off
00:55:31
anymore. You I mean, you didn't have
00:55:32
time to work out the plot. Yeah. Yeah. I
00:55:35
was improvising with what I had. Come
00:55:37
on, Dom. Um but you know, I'd watch
00:55:40
enough CSI.
00:55:42
How was the whole um Yeah. How was the
00:55:44
whole the whole court and testifying
00:55:46
process? The whole jury cracked up
00:55:49
laughing when I told them because the
00:55:51
obviously his lawyers were trying to say
00:55:52
I was lying that I didn't actually see
00:55:55
this person that I how could I do that?
00:55:57
Um cuz that when I told them how they
00:55:59
were like well how did you get away? How
00:56:01
come you're the only person that got to
00:56:02
get away? And when I told them I told
00:56:05
them that we had HIV cuz you know if I I
00:56:07
could only think of two things, chlamyia
00:56:08
and HIV and chlamydia you can get rid
00:56:10
of. The whole jury just cracked up
00:56:13
laughing. The whole jury just cracked up
00:56:15
laughing and they were like, "Well, if
00:56:17
you lied about that, how do you know
00:56:18
we're not you're not lying about seeing
00:56:19
this person?" And I said, "Oh, because
00:56:21
he has a mole right next to his nose on
00:56:23
the right hand side of his face because
00:56:25
he has a scar next to his eye on his
00:56:28
left hand eye because he has a line
00:56:30
through his left
00:56:31
eyebrow, you know, and and they were
00:56:34
like, "Oh, okay." You know, because he
00:56:36
had pro club written on his toggles of
00:56:38
his his jumper. Wow.
00:56:41
the he he had a a cut under his
00:56:45
fingernail. You know, I couldn't see any
00:56:49
bullets in the actual barrel or the
00:56:52
revolver, but I always knew that there
00:56:55
might be one in the chamber, and I
00:56:57
didn't know. You just never know, and I
00:56:59
didn't want to take the chance. Didn't
00:57:01
want to take the chance at all.
00:57:05
Um, you tell your parents in New Zealand
00:57:07
about stuff like this, right? Oh my
00:57:08
gosh. My mom just still to this day,
00:57:10
she's just like, "I just can't believe
00:57:12
it." She's like, "I just can't believe
00:57:14
that you would put yourself in that
00:57:15
situation. I just can't believe that
00:57:16
this stuff happens to you." You didn't
00:57:18
put yourself in any situation, though.
00:57:20
Like, oh, but then she's just like, "And
00:57:21
look at you now." I'm like, "Well, mom,
00:57:24
you know, God only gives us stuff that
00:57:27
will make us stronger." And obviously I
00:57:29
needed to be stronger to battle through
00:57:32
you know nine weeks sitting in hospital
00:57:33
with a baby who wasn't doing great or
00:57:36
you know you know like to put me in a
00:57:39
place where I was going to have to you
00:57:41
know be a lot stronger you know maybe
00:57:43
maybe this is maybe it was for a
00:57:46
situation where I can educate some
00:57:48
people maybe this has happened there's
00:57:50
got to be a reason you know and but are
00:57:53
you are you thinking this way at the
00:57:55
time when you're going through this
00:57:56
adversity or is it Oh no.
00:57:59
I'm like, what's the chances? And even
00:58:00
the police goes, this is a one ina-
00:58:03
million chance that this could ever
00:58:04
happen to just perfect strangers because
00:58:08
nine times out of 10, the person who is
00:58:10
attacking you, the person who's hurting
00:58:12
you is known to the victim, right? Yeah.
00:58:15
Like your DV situation. Yeah.
00:58:19
Um, and what about the drive by
00:58:21
shooting? There was a drive by shooting
00:58:22
incident as well, eh? Oh, so we had just
00:58:24
moved out of the house in Long Beach and
00:58:27
the people that we were staying with
00:58:28
obviously um had some beef with the
00:58:30
local gang and they ended up shooting up
00:58:32
the
00:58:33
place which was a common occurrence in
00:58:36
Long Beach.
00:58:39
You know what? Nothing ever happened to
00:58:41
me in Compton. Nothing ever happened.
00:58:43
You know they talk about Compton NWA.
00:58:46
Nothing ever happened to me in Compton.
00:58:48
And I met some really amazing people in
00:58:50
Watts. Mhm. But I also saw some really
00:58:53
out the gate [ __ ] and watts. But you
00:58:55
know this is but that is everyday life
00:58:58
over there. That is a common occurrence
00:59:01
over there and it's starting to be that
00:59:03
here in New Zealand. You
00:59:06
know the fact that I would hate for us
00:59:09
to get to the point where we start
00:59:11
locking our doors and winding up our
00:59:13
windows and not helping people who need
00:59:15
help.
00:59:17
That's when we really need to go what is
00:59:19
wrong with us? Yeah. You know, and
00:59:22
that's the sad part when we're not
00:59:24
opening our eyes, opening our doors, and
00:59:26
and and lifting a hand out to people who
00:59:31
are in trouble, who need
00:59:34
help, that's when we really need to
00:59:36
start looking at ourselves as a as
00:59:38
humans. Yeah. When you stop assuming
00:59:40
that people are good. Yeah. Yeah. It's
00:59:43
sad. And I don't want my kids to grow up
00:59:45
like that. But then I also don't want my
00:59:47
kids to grow up being naive as well that
00:59:49
this is what this world is coming to.
00:59:51
And now that's so hard raising kids in
00:59:53
this day and age with social media cuz I
00:59:56
never had social media. Gosh, if I had
00:59:59
social media when I was a teenager, I
01:00:01
was a naughty teenager right up until
01:00:04
Broken Wings came out and I was like,
01:00:05
"Oh my gosh." Well, yeah. In what way?
01:00:08
Oh, I got caught in a stolen car with my
01:00:09
very first boyfriend. We got rammed by
01:00:12
the police in Oakland City. I can say
01:00:14
these things now. Gosh, can you imagine
01:00:17
if I said it when I was at Broken Wings,
01:00:19
Can You Feel Me? OnePlus One came out.
01:00:20
The record company, Adam Halt would have
01:00:22
had a heart attack. Adam, the boss from
01:00:26
um Sony Records. Universal Records.
01:00:28
Universal. Oh gosh. I would have been
01:00:29
that would have been like, "Kay, what
01:00:31
are you doing?" Yeah. All right. Well,
01:00:33
since you brought it up, Yeah. we we'll
01:00:34
poke around the um the teen pop princess
01:00:37
stuff for a second cuz this is a fun
01:00:39
part of your story. That's um that's um
01:00:41
thanks for sharing all that stuff. It's
01:00:44
pretty bleak, eh? It's a bleak. It's a
01:00:46
bleak chapter. How how much Okay,
01:00:48
talking about it. Yeah. How much No, I
01:00:50
mean it's a it's a lot to go through.
01:00:51
It's a lot of [ __ ] baggage. How much
01:00:53
How much of it like to what extent do
01:00:54
your kids know? I've read bits and
01:00:56
pieces, but when it's in like a I don't
01:00:58
know, like a woman's day story, it's
01:00:59
just like a little paragraph or are my
01:01:01
older kids. Yeah. They they know a bit,
01:01:04
you know. Should the younger ones ask,
01:01:05
then I'm happy to tell them the story
01:01:07
and stuff like that. when they get to a
01:01:08
point where they can actually understand
01:01:10
for sure. Like I'm not going to tell my
01:01:12
six and 10year-old, you know, about it
01:01:14
and they they won't understand, you
01:01:16
know, they just see movies and they'll
01:01:17
just think, "Oh my gosh." But my older
01:01:19
ones, they understand. My soon to be
01:01:21
18-year-old daughters just like, "Oh,
01:01:23
okay. Here we go." And I'm like, "Don't
01:01:25
just say, "Here we go. You actually need
01:01:27
to open your eyes, open your ears, pay
01:01:31
attention. Don't think that this is all
01:01:33
like, you know, sprinkles and bloody
01:01:35
cream on top of ice cream and stuff.
01:01:37
Like there's actually sick ass people
01:01:39
out there, as my dad would say, sick
01:01:41
puppies. But yeah, you know, and I and I
01:01:45
guess, you know, my daughter is me.
01:01:48
She's my little mini me. We were born on
01:01:50
the same day around the same time. She
01:01:52
is me. And so I can just see her just
01:01:55
being so hard-headed that she's going to
01:01:58
be that girl who has to learn the hard
01:02:00
way. by falling on her face. And
01:02:02
unfortunately, that is probably my
01:02:05
demise, my car character.
01:02:10
Blessing and a curse. Blessing a curse.
01:02:12
So, yeah. So, your your daughter, she's
01:02:13
the eldest. Yeah. She's how old? She's
01:02:16
17, almost 18. See, by the time you were
01:02:18
her age, you like you you you were no
01:02:21
longer like My album was coming out by
01:02:24
then.
01:02:26
Yeah. you. I mean, it's it must be
01:02:28
baffling for you to see her as a mini me
01:02:30
and think, you know, by the time I was
01:02:32
your age, I'd done this. You know what's
01:02:33
baffling? My 10-year-old asking me what
01:02:35
those shiny things on the wall are. What
01:02:37
are those, Mom? And my my 16 My
01:02:41
16-year-old son's like, "Those are mom's
01:02:43
albums. Those are mom's singles. Those
01:02:45
are her CDs. Mom, what is a CD?" I'm
01:02:49
like, "Shit. Oh my gosh." So then Sharon
01:02:52
Sharon Casey gives me the cassette. I
01:02:55
bring that home and I show the kids.
01:02:56
They're
01:02:57
like, "What is this? And where do you
01:03:00
put
01:03:01
it?" I'm like, "You know what? Don't
01:03:04
worry about it, kids. I'm just Mom. I'm
01:03:07
just Mom." That's so cool. So, how how
01:03:09
did that come? So, yeah. So, your songs
01:03:11
were um the first one was a cover of the
01:03:13
Mr. Mister song, Broken Wings. Um then
01:03:16
it was uh there there was some others.
01:03:18
One Plus One Plus One, It Ain't Two.
01:03:20
Yeah. Can you remember the lyrics to
01:03:21
that song? What are some of the
01:03:29
lessons? So do the math while you
01:03:38
then um can you feel me with um the
01:03:40
great brother D. Can you feel me
01:03:45
baby? Yeah. You know Haley Halt was the
01:03:47
one who drove the jeep in that one. Eh
01:03:48
oh actually the jeep on the beach. She
01:03:51
was the only one with a driver's
01:03:52
license. Full driver's license. I don't
01:03:53
know. How did she get into that? How did
01:03:55
she end up in the video? We Oh, I think
01:03:57
she was with the person who was casting
01:04:00
some of the other people to the people
01:04:02
to be in the video. Um, and yeah, she
01:04:06
was the only one with a driver's
01:04:07
license, a full driver's license, and we
01:04:09
actually got the car stuck in the mud in
01:04:11
the in the sand at Bethl's. It was so
01:04:14
hilarious. I crack up laughing now. Oh,
01:04:16
and then there was a there was a ballad,
01:04:17
Lifetime Left to Wait. A Lifetime Left
01:04:19
to Wait. Yeah, I know. your back
01:04:20
catalog. I got you. Um, these were big
01:04:23
songs. These were massive songs. So,
01:04:25
yeah, they were at the at the time a
01:04:27
massive. Yeah, massive songs like radio
01:04:30
hits, chart hits on dead and Lady Mama
01:04:32
later. They probably would have went
01:04:33
number one. Uh, Broken Wings and Can You
01:04:35
Feel Me?
01:04:38
Yeah. This is This is when the charts
01:04:40
meant something. And this is like
01:04:41
pre-downloading. I don't know. Maybe
01:04:42
there was was there Lime Wire or Yeah, I
01:04:44
think maybe there was. Yeah. But um you
01:04:46
basically to buy them like as a like a
01:04:48
cassle or we actually had signings in CD
01:04:52
stores, guys.
01:04:54
Do you did you ever host any of those? I
01:04:57
think so. Yeah, like at a Sounds mega
01:04:58
store or something. So I was working at
01:05:01
West City at JJ's while Broken Wings
01:05:04
came out and all that kind of stuff. I
01:05:05
still had to have a part-time job as
01:05:06
does most New Zealand artists still to
01:05:08
this day. Still have to have a part-time
01:05:10
job. It's not a million-dollar deal, you
01:05:13
know, and it urban music is really,
01:05:15
really hard to sell in New Zealand. So,
01:05:17
anyway, I was working at JJ's selling
01:05:18
jeans, as the Herald put it. And um hey
01:05:23
guys, got to go on my lunch break for
01:05:24
the next hour and a half cuz I've got to
01:05:25
go next door to ECM and do a signing.
01:05:28
So, go across, do my signing, and then
01:05:30
come back to work.
01:05:33
Yeah. How did it all come about? Like,
01:05:35
how did how did you get like discovered
01:05:37
or spotted or signed? Gosh. You want the
01:05:40
short or the long? Oh, well, we can go
01:05:43
long. So, um I Well, the long story
01:05:49
is I was at Waka College. Had just um
01:05:53
started there from Oakland girls. I was
01:05:55
in Kahangi there. Obviously, really hard
01:05:57
to go from Fenuai into K Road every day
01:06:01
on the buses and stuff, of course. Um
01:06:04
might have been playing up a bit, I
01:06:05
think, as a 13-year-old there. I can't
01:06:07
remember. Um, really? In what way?
01:06:11
Smoking cigies? No, I never smoked
01:06:13
cigarettes. I was just like just not
01:06:16
just not doing my school work, I guess,
01:06:17
or just just playing up in in terms of I
01:06:20
think just not applying yourself. Yeah.
01:06:22
Yeah. Yeah. And and I guess kind of just
01:06:25
trying to figure out who I was, where I
01:06:26
fit in and things like that. And, you
01:06:28
know, I think my parents more worried
01:06:29
about K Road than
01:06:31
anything. But um you know come having to
01:06:34
catch a bus at 6:00 in the morning to go
01:06:36
to school and not getting home until
01:06:38
7:30 at night because I'd have netball
01:06:41
training and stuff like that you know
01:06:42
and my parents were working in West
01:06:45
Oakland so it's not like it was easy to
01:06:47
get out to the city. So anyway ended up
01:06:50
going to Waka College. My other sister
01:06:52
started as well. Um, and I was just
01:06:57
having a laugh with a friend and she
01:06:58
decided, she was like, "Hey, want to go
01:07:00
and watch all the auditions for the
01:07:02
school show? Let's go have a laugh." I
01:07:04
was like, "Cool. Okay, sure. Why not?"
01:07:07
Didn't have anything else other than
01:07:08
eating my lunch at school. Went in
01:07:10
there, sat there, ate my lunch, had a
01:07:12
laugh, and Mr. Nightingale, the um music
01:07:16
teacher there, ended up saying, "Okay,
01:07:18
you're up next." and I kind of choked on
01:07:21
my sandwich and was like, "Um, sorry,
01:07:23
sir. I I actually don't know the song.
01:07:26
I'm just came to have a laugh." And he
01:07:28
was like, "That's okay. I'll play. You
01:07:30
just tell me what song you want to
01:07:32
sing." And I went, "Um, okay." I was
01:07:37
like, "Do I have to look at everyone?" I
01:07:39
was so shy. The only other performance
01:07:41
that I had ever done was with Kapahaka
01:07:43
and you're standing a rose with people
01:07:46
and you're doing actions and stuff. So,
01:07:48
you know, it I wasn't ever standing on a
01:07:50
stage by myself. I'd never stood on a
01:07:52
stage by myself. So, I was really shy.
01:07:54
And he's like, "You can turn around and
01:07:55
face me. That's okay." And so, I stood
01:07:58
there. And I did um Always Be My Baby by
01:08:02
Mariah Carey. Yeah. And
01:08:05
um he was like, "That's great. Cool. Go
01:08:09
sit down." And I was like, "Gosh, I'm
01:08:11
like that really humbled me. Really
01:08:14
humbled me. I've never gone to an
01:08:16
audition to laugh at people ever again.
01:08:19
Um but um it got whittleled down I think
01:08:22
from like 300 people or something like
01:08:23
that to um the last top 10. And then I
01:08:26
got the lead role in the school show and
01:08:29
that really opened my eyes. And it was
01:08:32
probably the first time that I was like,
01:08:34
"Oh, I I must have something then." I
01:08:38
mean, my parents had always got me. my
01:08:40
sisters up to sing. You know, uncle's
01:08:43
having a birthday party. Mom and dad
01:08:45
are, you know, at the mess at Sergeant's
01:08:47
mess. Come and sing for your aunties.
01:08:48
Come and sing for your aunties. You
01:08:49
know, all that kind of stuff. So, we
01:08:50
always got up and had a sing song. Mom
01:08:52
would get on the gat. My mom was a
01:08:54
singer. You know, she loves singing. Her
01:08:55
and her sisters sound beautiful
01:08:57
together. So, you know, it was just that
01:09:00
was the only way we sung, but to get up
01:09:02
on my own, that was a bit, you know,
01:09:04
nerve-wracking. did that and then gave
01:09:08
me a little bit more confidence and he
01:09:09
was like, "Look, I think you should do a
01:09:11
duet for this talent quest. I think you
01:09:13
should do a a solo for the talent
01:09:15
quest." I'm like, "Okay, okay." So, he
01:09:17
taught me a lot about stage presence and
01:09:20
and how to hold myself on a stage. And
01:09:23
then putting that together with actually
01:09:24
listening and harmonizing with what I
01:09:26
knew with
01:09:27
Kapahaka, I kind of just developed this
01:09:29
formula for myself of like, okay, this
01:09:31
is what I'm going to do on stage. And
01:09:33
then watching the MTV shows, I'm like,
01:09:36
this is actually where I want to be.
01:09:38
This is my vision. This is my
01:09:40
dream. While I'm playing net and rep and
01:09:44
representative net ball and rugby and
01:09:46
things like that, um I end up uh looking
01:09:50
in the what do they call it back then?
01:09:52
The western leader. Oh, the local paper.
01:09:55
Local paper. Yeah. And in the
01:09:58
back was a little ad and it said,
01:10:02
"Singers wanted audition. Please contact
01:10:04
this
01:10:06
number." So I contacted the
01:10:10
number and I went down. I got on the bus
01:10:15
myself, went caught the bus into the
01:10:17
city into High Street. And So you're 15,
01:10:21
14. I'm 14. Mhm. And
01:10:25
I went up to this office. God, now I I
01:10:29
think about it. I'm saying it out loud.
01:10:30
It sounds really
01:10:32
creepy. Like I would never let my
01:10:34
daughter do this. Gosh, what was my
01:10:37
parents thinking? Well, my parents
01:10:38
actually didn't know.
01:10:41
Um, I went to an audition and I sung
01:10:45
Always Be My Baby, Mariah Carey.
01:10:48
And I think I had a I think I had a big
01:10:50
black eye and a scratched down my face
01:10:52
from playing netball too. I think I was
01:10:53
still in my net gear. And when I think
01:10:57
about it and um I got a call
01:11:01
back. I got a call back and sitting
01:11:04
there was um Keith and Maddie J.
01:11:10
Keith. I can't remember his last name.
01:11:13
I've had a mind blank. But Keith Yeah.
01:11:15
Keith. And Keith was the actual guy who
01:11:18
wanted to put a group together and he
01:11:19
enlisted the help of Maddy Jay.
01:11:22
So got the call back and I had to tell
01:11:25
my mom, "Hey mom, I went to audition for
01:11:28
this group and they want me to come in
01:11:31
for a second audition, but I have to
01:11:33
bring you." And she was like, "You did
01:11:36
what?" And my mom actually said to me,
01:11:39
"Do you think you're good? Do you think
01:11:41
you're good enough?"
01:11:43
And I was like, "Yeah, but if they don't
01:11:46
like me, then that's all good, too."
01:11:48
Like, what's the worst that can happen?
01:11:51
You know, they say no. Oh, well, that's
01:11:53
okay. They could say no. Just go and do
01:11:56
something else. And my grandmother
01:11:58
always used to say, you know, how are
01:12:00
you going to say no to something if you
01:12:01
don't give it a try, you know? So, I
01:12:04
always looked at it like that. Well, how
01:12:05
am I going to know if I don't give it a
01:12:07
try? Just what's the worst going to
01:12:08
happen? They say no. Sweet. Just move on
01:12:10
to the next. So, I went down with my mom
01:12:14
and my mom is just like, "I don't know
01:12:16
what my crazy daughter's done here.
01:12:18
Where are we going? Where are you taking
01:12:19
me to?" Like, you know, and you know,
01:12:21
the old buildings in High Street like
01:12:23
look really creepy. Like, he has these
01:12:26
long corridors, these little doors, like
01:12:28
Yeah. Anyway, 1920s, 1930s sort of
01:12:31
office buildings, really dark, not well
01:12:34
lit. Like, how is this 14-year-old
01:12:36
daughter like walking through these
01:12:37
things like, "Yeah, come on, mom. Let's
01:12:38
go." Anyway, I get there and Maddie J's
01:12:41
like, "Look, look, we really think that
01:12:43
you could be a part of this group."
01:12:44
Blah, blah, blah. We've got these songs.
01:12:45
We want her to come and record this song
01:12:47
and be a part of this group. So, cool.
01:12:50
I'm a part of the group. We start
01:12:52
recording, do a photo shoot, and we
01:12:54
record uh Broken Wings, Lose My Call,
01:12:58
and I think we did a rough of Hunger if
01:13:01
I remember rightly. Was it going to be
01:13:03
like a New Zealand version of sort of
01:13:04
like TLC or D Child? No. See, it was
01:13:06
myself, Keith, um, this amazing Korean
01:13:10
man, um, Keith.
01:13:16
And, oh my gosh, I've just had a mind
01:13:18
blank. He was
01:13:21
Barbados and I think part
01:13:23
Kiwi
01:13:26
Jam Jamal J. I mean, I can't I'm so
01:13:29
sorry. Baby brain. Yeah. Um, it's it was
01:13:33
well over 20 something years ago. Um,
01:13:36
but he was an amazing singer and I
01:13:38
really thought, "Oh my gosh, like he
01:13:40
could really be somebody." Um, but yeah,
01:13:44
they we did the demo and Matty J shopped
01:13:47
it to the record companies and
01:13:50
apparently they saw the pictures, they
01:13:53
heard it and they said,
01:13:56
"Look, we like it. We love the songs,
01:13:59
but we just want the girl." And that's
01:14:04
how it all kind of started. Oh, because
01:14:05
you had like the X factor or the star
01:14:07
power or whatever you want to call it, I
01:14:08
guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I
01:14:11
it was that torn decision like it kind
01:14:12
of felt like Pink being Alicia Moore out
01:14:14
of her group, you know, that whole do
01:14:16
you ditch the crew that you started this
01:14:18
with and you're really on this cool
01:14:20
journey with or do you jump straight
01:14:22
into being yourself? And of course, you
01:14:24
know, there were people saying, "Oh, you
01:14:26
know, you got more success making it as
01:14:28
a group first than you do as a solo
01:14:29
artist, you know, or you could be a solo
01:14:31
artist, but you could flop. So, you
01:14:33
know, you're no one's going to be there
01:14:34
for you." And and you know, so it was
01:14:36
all of that kind of stuff. And then, you
01:14:38
know, went into the recording studio, we
01:14:40
started recording. Maddie was writing a
01:14:42
lot of the songs and producing so many
01:14:44
of the songs. He he already had a vision
01:14:46
of where it was going to go. And it was
01:14:48
great. you know, he's such an amazing
01:14:50
artist, such an amazing um writer. I I I
01:14:54
still feel like he didn't get his full,
01:14:58
you know, shine, his flowers here in New
01:15:00
Zealand because the man to this day is
01:15:02
still writing, still producing, and
01:15:04
still can sing his ass off. Like, it's
01:15:06
just it's really, you know, it's it's
01:15:08
really sad cuz we do have so many
01:15:10
talented people here in New Zealand. And
01:15:12
then, yeah, we did the album, we did the
01:15:14
singles, and we put them out. So, yeah.
01:15:18
The rest is just history.
01:15:23
Um, yeah. Can you remember the first
01:15:25
time you heard one of your songs on like
01:15:26
radio or juice TV? Oh, it was on the
01:15:29
radio. I was walking home. It was after
01:15:31
school and my my auntie, my next door
01:15:34
neighbor, my auntie Sue, bless her, was
01:15:36
coming to pick up one of her her
01:15:38
daughters at the local Christian school
01:15:40
across the road. I did not go to that
01:15:41
school. And um and uh I'm walking and
01:15:45
she's beeping the horn. Beeping the horn
01:15:48
and it was um my single on the radio
01:15:52
being played. I think it was on ZM.
01:15:55
Broken Wings. Broken Wings. And she's
01:15:57
like, "You're on the radio. You're on
01:15:58
the radio." And I was like, "Watch cuz
01:15:59
you're on the radio." And she's like
01:16:01
beeping beeping beeping. And of course
01:16:03
we all crowded around her little rav and
01:16:04
we're like listening to the song. And
01:16:07
she's like, "Oh, Carl, see this is you.
01:16:10
You're on the radio. You're cool." I
01:16:11
think it was a bit surreal. And I was
01:16:13
just like, "Oh, okay, cool." Like I was
01:16:16
going, "Oh, I wonder what happens
01:16:18
next." I was like, "Okay." Yeah. What
01:16:21
was it like being a being a school kid
01:16:22
at that time?
01:16:24
Well, my mom was adamant that we had to
01:16:26
have an education. Um, my dad was just
01:16:29
like, you just keep your nose above
01:16:32
water. So, you know, your head above
01:16:34
water, keep your nose out of trouble.
01:16:37
Um, but I kind of was still allowed to
01:16:42
be a kid, but then switch into these
01:16:45
moments where I had to be Kaye.
01:16:48
So, they didn't think that Carlina,
01:16:50
which is my real name, was sounded poppy
01:16:54
enough. It sounded too prim and proper,
01:16:56
too, you know, country bumpkin type
01:16:58
thing. Too honk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:17:00
Maybe I should have been honk. Um, it
01:17:03
just sounded too too nice. They said,
01:17:05
"Two girl next door, you know, just too
01:17:06
nice." And I was like, "Oh, okay." And
01:17:08
they were like, "What if we just take
01:17:09
the K and the L and the E E out of it."
01:17:12
Um, and that's where Kaye came from. Oh,
01:17:15
that's interesting. So, it's not like a
01:17:16
family nickname. No. Carl's most most of
01:17:19
my family K or Carl's. Yeah. So, it's
01:17:21
not a nickname. Everything's just an
01:17:22
abbreviation of the letters out of out
01:17:24
of Kina. Little acronym type thing.
01:17:27
Yeah. Who knew? Yeah. So, it's nothing
01:17:29
special. Kegley, it's my alter ego.
01:17:33
Amazing. But were you were you a big
01:17:34
deal at school? No, I didn't think I
01:17:37
was. But then again, like probably would
01:17:40
have got into a few punch-up fights if I
01:17:41
thought that my head was too big for my
01:17:43
boots. Like that was kind of drag you
01:17:45
back down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and I
01:17:48
think I I learned eventually that it was
01:17:51
okay to prop myself up and it was okay
01:17:54
to give myself confidence. It was okay
01:17:56
to go, damn, K, like you're actually
01:17:58
doing this. because I was constantly
01:18:01
checking myself going, "Was that good
01:18:03
enough? Did I sound okay? Do I look
01:18:05
okay? Do I look fat? Do I look skinny?
01:18:08
Do I look this? Do I do that? H how was
01:18:10
my hand? Do I do this?" Because I was
01:18:12
constantly being told, "You need to be
01:18:14
like this. You need to be like Britney.
01:18:15
You need to be like Nelly Feta. You need
01:18:17
to be like Jessica Simpson, you know,
01:18:18
Mandy Moore. You need to be like them.
01:18:21
You need to always have your makeup
01:18:22
done. Your hair always has to be done.
01:18:24
You should always be dressed this way.
01:18:26
You should always do that. and you are
01:18:28
this pop star. Every girl is going to
01:18:30
want to be you. Every guy is going to
01:18:32
want to want you. You know, you should
01:18:34
be this person. And I was like, man,
01:18:36
that's a lot of people to be. That is a
01:18:38
lot of people to be. But I didn't know
01:18:41
any different. I didn't know any better.
01:18:43
And as a as a
01:18:46
respectful young Maldi New Zealander,
01:18:50
like any other Pacific Island MAI
01:18:53
person, you just respect what your
01:18:55
elders tell you. M you know who who was
01:18:57
I to know any better? I've never been in
01:18:59
this industry and my parents didn't know
01:19:01
anything either. So they were just
01:19:03
following what everyone else was telling
01:19:04
them. How were they to know? So
01:19:07
eventually, you know, this is the path
01:19:09
that I'm going down. I am wearing these
01:19:12
tops and these clothes and I'm thinking,
01:19:14
"Oh, I'm I'm showing my belly button."
01:19:16
like that's a lot, you know, from a
01:19:19
conservative conservative father, you
01:19:21
know, and then here's people sending me
01:19:23
mail and, you know, sending me pictures
01:19:26
eventually when I did start getting
01:19:28
social media going, "I know where you
01:19:30
live. I saw you running down the street.
01:19:32
I know this, I know that, you know, and
01:19:35
they would stand outside my house, my
01:19:37
parents house. They would follow my
01:19:38
sister's home from school, you know, and
01:19:41
you think, wow, there were creeps back
01:19:43
then without phones and out Yeah. Yes,
01:19:45
they were. And it was a lot scarier
01:19:47
because they were actually there. They
01:19:50
were parked outside. They were following
01:19:53
you home from school. So, I think
01:19:56
eventually I just just started throwing
01:20:00
myself more into the music because I
01:20:02
actually liked the whole journey that I
01:20:05
was on. I didn't like that side of it,
01:20:06
but I liked the journey that I was on
01:20:08
and I liked the performances. I loved
01:20:10
going to doing these promotional stuff,
01:20:12
filming videos, getting out and
01:20:14
performing. I loved touring and I loved
01:20:17
being able to develop more and I loved
01:20:19
seeing something come from nothing into
01:20:22
something amazing. You know, I loved
01:20:23
being able in that creative process. And
01:20:25
I think that's where I really found my
01:20:28
flow. So, um I
01:20:30
remember 16 coming off a three-month
01:20:33
tour. Um what was it called? Summer
01:20:37
Hummer. Summer Hummer sponsored by Boost
01:20:40
Mobile or something. Oh, something like
01:20:42
that. It was Summer Hummer and I was
01:20:44
myself, Zed, uh, a few other people and
01:20:47
I went away on this massive tour and I
01:20:50
had spent more than 30 days away from
01:20:52
school and I think I had spent actually
01:20:55
near on 50 days away from school. I got
01:20:57
called into the principal's office and
01:20:59
they said, "Look, you're an amazing
01:21:01
student." I was like, "Cool. Was there a
01:21:03
problem with the work?" Cuz I did the
01:21:04
work. And they're like, "No, there's no
01:21:06
problem with the work. Thank you so much
01:21:08
for doing it. But look, rules say that
01:21:12
you have to be at school and you can't
01:21:13
miss more than 30 days a year. You know,
01:21:16
if you, you know, for just anything, you
01:21:19
don't have a medical certificate, you're
01:21:21
going to have to come back and reset six
01:21:24
form. In my head, I'm like, "Fuck
01:21:27
that. I am not coming back to school." I
01:21:30
was like, "Mate." So, I walk out of
01:21:32
there and I was like, "Well, what's my
01:21:33
other option?" They're like, "You know,
01:21:35
you'll be fine. you can come back, reset
01:21:36
six form, and then get your bursery, go
01:21:39
into seven form. I'm like, this is
01:21:42
ridiculous. Like, why? I've done the
01:21:45
work. Turns out I go outside, I ring my
01:21:47
dad, and I'm like, "Dad, this is what
01:21:49
they're saying." And he's like, "Well,
01:21:51
what do you think? What do you want to
01:21:53
do?" I'm like, "I got a job." I was
01:21:56
like, "I'll be fine." I was only making
01:21:59
like $350 a week back then, which is
01:22:03
Damn. Even back then, that was no good.
01:22:05
I was like, damn. Like, okay, I've got
01:22:08
I've got it. I I'll be fine. You know,
01:22:10
and he was like, well, you know what?
01:22:13
You're already on your path. You're
01:22:14
already on your on your journey. You've
01:22:16
got something to work towards. So, throw
01:22:18
yourself into that. And I'm like, cool.
01:22:20
Sign myself out. And that was it. Just
01:22:23
threw myself into music, threw myself
01:22:25
into more performance, into thing. I
01:22:28
still didn't have the knowledge that I
01:22:30
wish I had now back then of how to go
01:22:34
and navigate the whole being dropped
01:22:37
from a label, you know, not being able
01:22:39
to navigate through how to develop even
01:22:42
further. And I think at that time I was
01:22:45
also being put into a box of you're
01:22:47
plastic fantastic. You can't sing. You
01:22:50
can't do these things. You can't do
01:22:51
this. You're nothing. You know, imagine
01:22:55
saying that now to a
01:22:57
15year-old. You know, we don't tell
01:22:59
kids, "You're plastic fantastic. You
01:23:01
can't do jack [ __ ] You're made up.
01:23:04
You're produced in a
01:23:05
studio. Don't eat that pie. You'll get
01:23:08
fat. Do you know that has a block of
01:23:09
butter in it? Have you done your your
01:23:12
gym workout
01:23:13
today? You need to be showing more
01:23:15
stomach. You need to be showing more SC.
01:23:17
Where is your makeup? Why isn't your
01:23:20
hair straightened? I'm I'm a young
01:23:22
little moldy girl with curly ass hair,
01:23:25
you know. Yeah, it must be especially
01:23:27
like alarming for you now with, you
01:23:29
know, your daughter. Um, you know, Oh,
01:23:31
yeah. like thinking, what the [ __ ] Um,
01:23:34
do you think you like you were more
01:23:36
mature than what your daughter was at
01:23:37
the same age?
01:23:40
Oh, that's a really good question. Never
01:23:43
really thought about that. M
01:23:45
[Music]
01:23:46
um I think in terms of life experience,
01:23:50
I think I was a lot more mature than her
01:23:53
cuz in order for me to go out and and
01:23:57
really make sure that I was honing my
01:23:59
skills and practicing, I was literally
01:24:01
playing at bars when I was 15, 14, you
01:24:05
know, I was playing with, you know,
01:24:07
cover bands inside bars. Can you imagine
01:24:11
going to the Rosen Crown, which isn't
01:24:12
there anymore, and it's full of, you
01:24:14
know, Navy sailors and stuff like that,
01:24:16
and I'm standing there, I walk up to the
01:24:18
bar to go get a glass of water, and my
01:24:19
PE teacher is standing there going,
01:24:21
"Hey, can I buy you a drink?" And I turn
01:24:24
around, I'm like, "Hi, sir." And he's
01:24:26
like, "Oh my gosh, Carlina, what are you
01:24:28
doing here? You're not supposed to be in
01:24:29
here." I'm like, "Oh, I'm with the
01:24:30
band." He was like, "We have never seen
01:24:33
each other."
01:24:35
My god. So, you know, like I I would my
01:24:39
my parents were I I love my
01:24:43
parents, you know, when I think about
01:24:45
that now, I would totally I would
01:24:47
handcuff my daughter to the house, you
01:24:49
know, if I knew that she was out there
01:24:51
doing that. But my parents had so much
01:24:53
faith and they just were like, "This is
01:24:56
what she's doing. This is her path." And
01:24:58
I was a pretty self-determined,
01:25:00
independent child. You know, I'd get
01:25:02
myself to my net games. I'd get a job so
01:25:04
I could buy myself my shoes and and pay
01:25:07
for my fees and things like that. You
01:25:08
know, I would get myself my mom would
01:25:10
ring me up and be like, "Where are you?"
01:25:12
I was like, "It's written on the fridge.
01:25:13
I'm in Hamilton. I'm at a net
01:25:15
tournament." What do you mean? I'm
01:25:17
playing for the New Zealand Maldis, you
01:25:19
know? So, it was one of those things
01:25:21
where I was like, I just went out and
01:25:22
just did everything that I could because
01:25:25
I wanted to try so many different
01:25:27
things. I wanted to be and do so many
01:25:29
things because I just wanted to. Also,
01:25:32
it was a long time ago, like early
01:25:34
2000s. It was less sort of hands-on
01:25:36
parenting, I think, than what it is now.
01:25:38
Now, your parents be like, "You're doing
01:25:39
what? Where are you going? Who who's
01:25:41
there? Who's there? I don't know about
01:25:42
this. This doesn't sound good. I'll come
01:25:44
along with you." Yeah. But back then,
01:25:46
um,
01:25:48
yeah, there's some good experiences. E,
01:25:50
like you toured with Missy Elliot or you
01:25:51
opened for Missy Elliot? Yeah. Buster
01:25:53
Rhymes, Missy Elliot, Shaggy, Nelly
01:25:56
Fittado. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Missy
01:25:58
Elliott. I didn't. Missy Elliott. I
01:26:00
didn't. Um, we weren't even allowed to
01:26:01
be backstage. They She made She makes
01:26:05
people clear the back of the stage. She
01:26:07
doesn't want anyone there. She'll stay
01:26:09
in her green room. Uh, even her dancers
01:26:12
aren't aren't even allowed to be in that
01:26:14
area until it's actual time. Yeah, they
01:26:18
clear. Everyone had to be out of there.
01:26:20
Um, Buster Rice was cool. He was really
01:26:23
amazing. He's amazing artist.
01:26:26
um didn't have too much interaction with
01:26:28
him, but he came out, said thank you,
01:26:31
said hi and that and then went straight
01:26:34
back into the room because he was on
01:26:37
vocal rest, didn't want to be around
01:26:39
people to catch anything as well cuz I
01:26:40
think at that time he had just come off
01:26:42
being sick cuz he was on a tour in
01:26:44
Australia.
01:26:46
Um yeah, Kio, what was Kolio like? Oh,
01:26:50
Kio I got to know really well. He is
01:26:53
amazing man. Amazing man. I love Cool.
01:26:56
Every everyone thinks um Gangsters
01:26:57
Paradise, but Fantastic Voyage and See
01:27:00
You When You Get There. Two of my
01:27:01
favorite songs ever. See You When You
01:27:02
Get There is one of my favorites. Um
01:27:04
he's a really good cook. A really good
01:27:07
cook actually. Yeah. He made like this
01:27:09
um three chili chicken pepper um uh dish
01:27:12
for us and he loved it. E. And he loves
01:27:15
like he he bought out a cookbook
01:27:16
eventually. Um I remember we went to his
01:27:18
house a few times and he would cook and
01:27:20
make sandwiches for us and things like
01:27:21
that. And he's just he was just
01:27:25
so he was just so vibrant, so alive, you
01:27:29
know, and he was he I always saw good
01:27:32
things about him. Like I never saw him
01:27:33
do drugs and things like that. So, you
01:27:35
know, it was sad when I heard that he
01:27:37
passed away. I did have a little tear.
01:27:39
He died a couple of years. Did you?
01:27:40
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I I I reached out
01:27:43
to his nephew who used to be his hype
01:27:45
man who I knew really well as well. Um
01:27:48
and who used to live with him and Yeah.
01:27:51
like we used to record in our studio all
01:27:53
the time. Like he was just a wonderful
01:27:55
man. He was just a really wonderful man.
01:27:57
I'm so I'm so grateful that I did
01:27:59
actually do that tour with him because
01:28:01
he just loved our culture. He loved New
01:28:04
Zealand. And he was like, "Man, we got
01:28:06
to go back there. K, y'all got to take
01:28:07
me back." I'm like, "Okay." What was
01:28:10
that? Was that like a juicy fest or
01:28:11
something? No. No. It was the Kulio
01:28:13
tour. Oh, the Kio. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Um,
01:28:16
who else is there? Gosh.
01:28:18
Pink. Did I open up for Pink? Christ
01:28:21
Church in Oakland. Um it was probably
01:28:24
before she had children and met her
01:28:26
partner and what probably wasn't in a
01:28:28
most um colorful it was called the
01:28:31
colorful time of her life. Oh yeah. Oh,
01:28:33
amazing. Oh, awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:28:35
The party girl era. Yeah. Her party girl
01:28:38
era. Um, I remember her having to cancel
01:28:41
a few, you know, meet and greets and
01:28:43
things like that cuz she didn't have a
01:28:45
voice anymore or she was quite sick from
01:28:48
the night before partying and drinking
01:28:50
the night before. So, oh yeah, she she
01:28:52
was um supposed to be headliner on this
01:28:53
tour, this um one day festival thing at
01:28:56
Western Springs called Rumba with um I
01:28:58
was at Shaggy Kaye, Emma Bun and a few
01:29:02
others and she was the headline act and
01:29:03
she pulled out and was there as well.
01:29:05
Sophie Monk. Sophie Monk. Yeah. Yeah.
01:29:07
Yeah. Yeah. And and you were on that
01:29:08
stage too. Yeah, I was on that stage. I
01:29:10
got to meet a lot of them as well. That
01:29:12
was cool. That was um I think I was more
01:29:15
nervous about doing that than any other
01:29:16
gig. I think because having to stand in
01:29:19
front of people that you actually know
01:29:21
and I literally you had to walk to the
01:29:24
stage and I would K Kaye, you know, and
01:29:28
I'm thinking, damn, I actually know you
01:29:30
guys. And the whole time I'm doing that,
01:29:32
I'm
01:29:33
like, am I singing well? Am I doing
01:29:36
good? Am I doing the right moves? Am I
01:29:38
Gosh, I'm going to forget something? Uh,
01:29:40
like I was the worst at second guessing
01:29:43
myself every time. But just before have
01:29:47
the biggest nerves, the biggest like
01:29:51
butterflies in your stomach and then
01:29:53
boom, you go out and you just got to
01:29:56
roll with it and just try and channel
01:29:58
all those nerves just to go on stage.
01:30:01
And then you come off and you're on such
01:30:03
a high. And then I realized that my fly
01:30:05
was down the whole
01:30:10
time. Or that or or the moment where I
01:30:13
ripped my top trying to do the and one
01:30:16
plus one and and I was like hold it up.
01:30:21
Well, thankfully this was a time where
01:30:23
um there might have been like Nokia
01:30:24
phones with cameras, but they're very
01:30:26
blurry. No one's going to Oh, the the
01:30:28
pictures are so pixelated now. Yeah.
01:30:30
Wow. These are good memories. And um Oh,
01:30:32
and off off the back of that stuff, you
01:30:34
you got on Celebrity T. You were on one
01:30:36
of the original Celebrity Treasure
01:30:37
Island episodes, 2003. Yes. Yeah. Who
01:30:40
were you on with? Who was on? Matthew
01:30:42
Ridge, Nikki Watson, Charlotte Dawson.
01:30:44
Oh, rest in peace. Oh yes. Wow. Yep.
01:30:47
Um Gre Robertson, Jenny May. Me and
01:30:51
Jenny May. Oh my gosh. So, you know,
01:30:53
when we went on there, so this is before
01:30:55
like they do it really really well now.
01:30:57
They they they really knuckle down on
01:31:00
things. But we were told that we weren't
01:31:02
allowed to take any makeup, any
01:31:04
medications on there, no no foods, no
01:31:07
snacks, no nothing. They checked our
01:31:09
bags. So that's cool. How come when we
01:31:13
wake up in the morning, do I see Nikki
01:31:17
Watson, Charlotte Dawson, Gre Robertson,
01:31:20
all of them getting their faces ready
01:31:23
and me and Jenny May are like walking
01:31:24
and waking up. We got hooping and then
01:31:26
like pickle in our eyes and stuff like
01:31:28
that. Our hair is like out here and
01:31:29
we're just like,
01:31:30
"Hey, what the are you guys serious?"
01:31:34
And then at night they're like, we're
01:31:37
sitting there and we're having a laugh
01:31:38
and stuff like that. And Nikki, but hey
01:31:41
girl, you want some chocolate? Where the
01:31:43
hell did you get chocolate from? I've
01:31:45
been starving myself over here all day
01:31:47
and you've had chocolate in your
01:31:48
sleeping bag the whole time. I'm like,
01:31:50
oh. So then, you know, we were also in
01:31:53
that thing with Matthew Ridge, Maralis.
01:31:55
Um, I remember it was the the whole goat
01:31:59
saga like he wanted to We were actually
01:32:01
really hungry. We were actually really
01:32:03
hungry. Um, oh, someone was going to
01:32:06
kill a goat. Yeah. Yeah. Was it like
01:32:08
Coxy, Anthony Ray Parker?
01:32:12
[ __ ] It was 20 23 years ago. Yeah. No.
01:32:14
No. So, yeah. And I so before we had
01:32:18
actually gone to the island cuz they
01:32:19
they put us on a boat. We actually went
01:32:21
to the island. So we was at the Sheridan
01:32:22
first and they're like look go put
01:32:25
yourself rest up you know make sure you
01:32:27
get all your contraband out of your bag
01:32:29
and everything. Go and have some fun
01:32:30
before we have the dinner de you know
01:32:33
we're going to do the briefing and then
01:32:35
we're we're gone. We're gone at 5:00
01:32:37
a.m. in the morning straight on the boat
01:32:39
and we're going straight into it. And
01:32:40
we're like okay cool. So me, Matthew
01:32:43
Ridge, um Mark Ellis,
01:32:46
and it was one other person, I can't
01:32:48
remember who it was, we all got on the
01:32:50
jet skis. And this first time I'd ever
01:32:52
been on a jet ski. I'm
01:32:54
like, stupid to do in Fiji with waves
01:32:58
because, you know, you just get tossed.
01:33:00
And I got thrown off the jet ski and
01:33:04
tossed around and I scratched my
01:33:06
shoulder on the reef. Didn't think
01:33:08
anything of it. I was like, "Oh yeah,
01:33:09
all good. What a stupid thing to do, you
01:33:12
know, take my pride and take pick up my
01:33:15
undies out of my bikini that almost fell
01:33:17
off as well and get out of the water
01:33:19
and, you know, get take the take the jet
01:33:22
ski back. Four, no, three, four days
01:33:26
into being on the island once we
01:33:27
started, it got infected and it started
01:33:31
to spread the rash and it went up my
01:33:33
neck and I could feel it. It was getting
01:33:35
really, really hot. And so I was saying,
01:33:36
"Hey, look, you know, can I have
01:33:37
something? can I just have a cream or
01:33:39
something to go on to it? Like surely
01:33:41
there's something like that. Like this
01:33:42
isn't, you know, thing for me to go
01:33:44
home. But everyone everyone was going,
01:33:47
you know, I need to go home. I I I want
01:33:49
to go home. I want to do this. I want to
01:33:51
do that. So,
01:33:53
um I wasn't allowed to get anything. I
01:33:55
started realizing that things were a
01:33:57
bit, you
01:33:58
know, made up. They were really faked.
01:34:02
And I was like, look, this is no point
01:34:03
for me to be here. Like I actually
01:34:05
thought like Jetty May and I were got a
01:34:07
broken net and we were literally making
01:34:08
a hinaki, you know, trying to catch some
01:34:11
fish. Like we were out there actually
01:34:12
trying to do stuff and no one else is
01:34:14
doing. I was like, "This is no fun. This
01:34:16
is actually not like not fun." So I was
01:34:19
like, "Ah." And they're not going to
01:34:20
give me anything for this. This is
01:34:22
actually getting really painful. I'm
01:34:23
like, "You know what? Matthew Ridge,
01:34:26
they were having a conversation of who
01:34:27
when was people going to go home."
01:34:29
Matthew's like, "Oh, I'll go home on
01:34:31
Thursday cuz I've got to get home for my
01:34:33
son's
01:34:34
birthday." And so and so was saying,
01:34:36
"Oh, yeah. Well, I'll go home after you
01:34:38
then, or do you want to go home before
01:34:40
me?" And he was like, "Oh," you know,
01:34:42
and I was like, "Actually, I'm going to
01:34:44
go home. I'll go home today." Like, you
01:34:46
vote me. I'm I'm good. I'm going to go
01:34:48
home. Like, that's it. So, yeah, I ended
01:34:50
up going home. I wasn't the first, but I
01:34:52
was just like, "Yeah, I'm done." Yeah. I
01:34:55
think um yeah, so much has changed since
01:34:57
then and now. like the the duty of care
01:34:59
like uh I'm not going to hold back a
01:35:02
cream. Yeah. But then, you know, that
01:35:04
really put my perspective. It gave me
01:35:06
perspective in doing reality TV. And I I
01:35:09
was like, um, so this is what behind the
01:35:13
scenes reality TV is like. And, you
01:35:15
know, there were little things that, you
01:35:16
know, producers would say and do and,
01:35:18
you know, okay, well, you two go over
01:35:20
here and you two walk out of the bush
01:35:21
together. And you're like, what are they
01:35:23
conspiring? Why are they together? You
01:35:26
know, I'm like, you grown ass man. like
01:35:30
I was like at that time I was kind of
01:35:32
thinking you're old enough to be my dad
01:35:34
you know yeah you yeah you did a lot at
01:35:37
a really young age like pre20 you did so
01:35:39
much is that is this when your radio
01:35:41
career started you start you're at
01:35:42
flavor now doing the breakfast show you
01:35:44
started at flavor as well right yeah
01:35:45
yeah no no I started at flavor so um was
01:35:48
that around this same sort of time like
01:35:49
early 2000s yeah yeah yeah it was kind
01:35:52
of yeah I guess um off the back of your
01:35:55
pop career yep off the back so I'd been
01:35:57
dropped from Universal I had gone to do
01:36:00
Celebrity Treasure Island. I kind of
01:36:02
fell into this little bit of a
01:36:04
depression thing because I really didn't
01:36:07
understand the people that were around
01:36:09
me at the time. Lots of people wanted
01:36:11
things. We want money for this. We want
01:36:13
money for that. And they were going to
01:36:15
the record company asking people for
01:36:16
things without my knowledge. And I had
01:36:19
no idea that a lot of things that were
01:36:20
going on. So, you know, I I I started to
01:36:23
become very much inverted, a recluse.
01:36:27
Um, I was an introvert pretty much. I
01:36:29
wasn't leaving the house. I was really
01:36:31
depressed. Um, and I didn't know it was
01:36:33
quite I didn't know that that was
01:36:35
depression at the time. Um, and I was I
01:36:40
think I I I would even turn down offers
01:36:42
and gigs and stuff like I was just no, I
01:36:45
can't I can't because how how can I
01:36:47
trust these people? I was having real
01:36:48
bad trust issues. And um I just turned
01:36:52
around and just one day I was like, you
01:36:54
know what? I've really got to get myself
01:36:55
out of this hole. And I was just like,
01:36:59
drink a cup of concrete, okay? Harden
01:37:01
up. Get your ass out of this house. So,
01:37:03
I started walking. Then I started
01:37:05
running. And then I thought, okay, I
01:37:06
actually need to do something. Like, I'm
01:37:08
this is not hitting it at the moment.
01:37:10
This is good. It's a start, but I
01:37:12
actually need to do something. And I was
01:37:14
like, you know what? What is something
01:37:15
that I actually love doing? What is my
01:37:17
what is one of my passions? I love
01:37:19
playing sports. So, I went back and I
01:37:21
played net. I love playing touch. I went
01:37:23
back and I played touch and it just so
01:37:24
happened that
01:37:26
um one of my one of my friends, shout
01:37:29
out to Lou, she goes, "Can you come and
01:37:32
play touch for us?" It was NZME team.
01:37:33
She goes, "I just need fill in." I was
01:37:35
like,
01:37:35
"Yeah." And when I got there, I was
01:37:39
super nervous cuz I was like, "I know
01:37:41
these people." Like, I've seen them in
01:37:43
the in in the radio station at the time.
01:37:45
I think it was um TRN it was called. It
01:37:48
wasn't easy to the radio network. Yeah.
01:37:50
And um I was just like it made me feel
01:37:54
nervous playing against them and stuff.
01:37:56
She was like no no no like that guy
01:37:57
there I reckon you should talk to him. I
01:37:59
was like why? She goes he's starting a
01:38:01
new radio station. And I was like
01:38:04
hm. And then it dawned on me
01:38:09
about maybe a month before I got dropped
01:38:11
from the record label. I had done a
01:38:13
takeover at the vault in on the edge
01:38:16
nights with Mike Mike Pu. Oh yeah. And
01:38:19
he had said to me, you know, you're
01:38:21
really good at talking to all these
01:38:23
people. You have a really good voice.
01:38:25
You should do radio. And at the time, I
01:38:27
laughed. I laughed at it. I laughed at
01:38:29
him for saying it. And so that was that
01:38:31
mic. Yeah. Mike Pu. Wow. And I laughed
01:38:33
because I was like, "Boo, who wants to
01:38:35
listen to my voice? I don't even like
01:38:37
the sound of my own voice talking."
01:38:40
Um, and so when she said that, that
01:38:43
triggered off in my head and I was like,
01:38:46
hm, okay, I'm going to talk to him. So,
01:38:50
played the whole played the whole game.
01:38:52
Walked up to James Daniels, who was the
01:38:55
content director of Flavor, who was
01:38:57
starting it, and I said, "Hi, I'm Kaye."
01:38:59
And he goes, "Yeah, I know who you are."
01:39:01
And I said, "I hear you're starting a
01:39:02
radio station." And he goes, I said,
01:39:04
"That really cool one that's just
01:39:06
playing hip-hop and R&B at the moment."
01:39:07
And he was like, "Yeah." I said, "You
01:39:10
got any jobs?" And he just looked at me
01:39:13
like, "What do you mean? You're Miss
01:39:16
Broken Wings. You're the little teen
01:39:18
queen of pop, you know, princess of Pop
01:39:21
type thing. What? What do you mean?" And
01:39:22
I was just like, "Look, I You must be a
01:39:24
millionaire."
01:39:26
Everyone was looking at me like
01:39:28
that.
01:39:30
Um, if I was Britney Spears and we had
01:39:33
social media back then, you know. Um,
01:39:35
but yeah, I just I just asked him and he
01:39:37
was just like I just said, "Look, I just
01:39:40
really want to try something different.
01:39:42
I am in a space at the moment where I
01:39:44
just really want to just get out there
01:39:46
and just explore my options." He's like,
01:39:50
"Cool. Come see me tomorrow." Went down
01:39:52
there. He goes, "Right, would you want
01:39:55
to go out today?" Excuse
01:39:58
me. I said, "Yeah, I'll go out. Let's
01:40:00
go." And he goes, "Okay, I'm going to
01:40:02
send you out in the truck in the Hummer
01:40:05
in the flavor Hummer and you're going to
01:40:08
go out and do a cross." I'm like,
01:40:11
"Okay." In my head, I have no idea what
01:40:13
a cross is. I don't know what this radio
01:40:15
language is. I just know what promotion.
01:40:17
He's like, "You just go out there, give
01:40:18
away Burger King vouchers. Cool." Went
01:40:20
down to Burger King, stood out on
01:40:22
Lincoln Road at Burger King. When it was
01:40:24
my time, I talked so fast that no one
01:40:28
understood where I was and no one
01:40:31
came. I ended up having to give it to
01:40:33
the homeless guy that was walking by
01:40:34
trying to wash windscreens. So, he was
01:40:37
happy. Was it you talk fast just cuz you
01:40:39
were nervous or Yeah. Yeah. This was the
01:40:41
first time actually doing it. Anyway, he
01:40:43
I got back and they all laughed and
01:40:45
everything. I was like, "I'm so sorry."
01:40:46
He's like, "No, no, no, no." He was
01:40:48
like, "I actually really like the tone
01:40:49
of your
01:40:50
voice. What do you reckon?" And I was
01:40:52
like, "Yeah, cool." did it for a couple
01:40:54
of days and then he goes, "Hey, you
01:40:56
know, I really, really like the tone of
01:40:58
your voice. Do you think that maybe we
01:41:01
could try you on nights?" I was like,
01:41:03
"Yeah, sure." And he goes, "Cool. Do you
01:41:07
know how to panel?"
01:41:09
"Yeah, of course I do." And in my head,
01:41:12
I'm like, "How hard does this be? Just
01:41:13
turn on the microphone and talk." Well,
01:41:16
guys, there's a lot more to radio, okay?
01:41:18
There's so many buttons. There's a lot
01:41:20
more going on on that screen than you
01:41:22
think. And um I ran straight into the
01:41:27
studio and at the time Nixon was doing
01:41:31
Drive. He just started on Drive and I
01:41:34
said, "Oi, JD's going to give me a shot
01:41:37
at night. Tell me everything that you
01:41:39
know." He got a big A4 piece of paper
01:41:42
and wrote, "Do not touch these and put
01:41:44
it over these two buttons." He goes,
01:41:47
"Just go in the other studio and have a
01:41:49
tutu." And I was like, "Is that all?"
01:41:52
and he goes, "Yeah." So, I watched him
01:41:53
for a bit, wrote a few things down, and
01:41:55
then I went into the studio. I had the
01:41:57
number one night show for a couple of
01:41:58
years. Wow. Yeah. And I didn't know
01:42:01
about Radio Awards back then. Had I had
01:42:03
known, I definitely would have submitted
01:42:05
my show.
01:42:07
Oh, yeah. Radio Awards. So, yeah, last
01:42:08
year at the uh New Zealand Radio. So,
01:42:10
last year you um Yeah. Should we get to
01:42:13
that? Yeah, we'll get to that now. Yeah.
01:42:14
Last year at the radio was really
01:42:15
special. Like you um got like a what is
01:42:18
it like a lifetime achievement award or
01:42:19
Oh, got it. It's it was just your um
01:42:22
outstanding contribution to radio. Yeah.
01:42:24
Thank you for your service type thing.
01:42:26
Um and your your um teammates from my FM
01:42:29
all stood up in their in their seats in
01:42:31
this um theater at Sky City and gave you
01:42:32
a hucker. I was sitting there with
01:42:34
goosebumps. So
01:42:36
emot hucker had been done in so long.
01:42:42
That was really beautiful. Yeah. I was
01:42:44
really grateful. It's a lot. E it's a
01:42:46
lot. Yeah. I miss him.
01:42:49
I I I I have so much love for that time
01:42:53
in my life as well. You know, I
01:42:55
obviously had a few kids while I was
01:42:57
there, you know, coming back from being
01:43:01
in America to my going to breakfast for
01:43:03
a couple of years and then moving into
01:43:05
days and and being on days for
01:43:10
oh 11 10 11 years. So yeah, you were
01:43:14
part of the furniture there.
01:43:16
Yeah. Well, yeah, you owned that slot.
01:43:19
Uh, yeah. Yeah. So, yes, didn't reflect
01:43:22
it, though. It never does. Never does,
01:43:25
does it? No. No. You don't do it for
01:43:26
money. So, you did that stint in the
01:43:27
early 2000s at um at at Flavor. Um, then
01:43:30
there was the LA years. Which we've
01:43:31
discussed. Yes. Then I moved to LA and
01:43:33
then when I came back, I came back to
01:43:34
Mai and that was really special cuz I
01:43:37
grew up listening to Mai, you know. So
01:43:40
having that there and and being on that
01:43:42
station, I was well aware of the [ __ ]
01:43:46
papa, the co-papa of that station and
01:43:48
why it was there and what it was there
01:43:50
for. And I still to this day believe
01:43:54
that if you hold that value and you hold
01:43:58
that knowledge that you should that that
01:44:01
should be at the first and foremost at
01:44:02
the forefront of why you're doing radio.
01:44:05
And there's a lot of stations that have
01:44:07
different copapa and different um
01:44:09
histories, but just knowing about that
01:44:11
history and knowing where you're what
01:44:14
happened and and how to get how they got
01:44:16
there and why it started like it's just
01:44:18
like anything in your culture once you
01:44:20
know where you come from. You know where
01:44:21
you're going. So it was a beautiful time
01:44:24
and and it was a great time for me to
01:44:26
grow as a person, as a woman, as a
01:44:28
mother, you know, a great time for me to
01:44:30
grow as a radio announcer. And I have to
01:44:33
say I learned a lot being at Media
01:44:36
Works. I learned a lot from the school
01:44:38
of Leyon. I learned a lot from the
01:44:40
school of Nixon. I learned a lot from
01:44:42
being on Breakfast. And then I learned a
01:44:43
lot being on days. Um I learned a lot
01:44:47
about radio in itself and just being on
01:44:50
that other side of I've been a singer
01:44:52
trying to get your your songs on the
01:44:54
radio, how to help other artists, what
01:44:56
they need to know, how it works. because
01:44:58
it's frustrating as an artist to look
01:45:00
from outside in going, I've got a hot
01:45:02
song. Why aren't you playing it? You
01:45:05
know, so it's it's understanding the
01:45:07
processes behind things and that just
01:45:09
because you think you've got one hot
01:45:11
song, so does 20,000 other people who
01:45:13
are trying to push it at the same time,
01:45:15
you know? So, there was just so many
01:45:16
elements to it. But I was there you know
01:45:19
and it was a beautiful
01:45:21
moment but I came to a point where I
01:45:25
wanted to
01:45:27
grow. I mentioned that you know once you
01:45:31
have stopped learning that it's time to
01:45:34
move on and that was my whole
01:45:37
perspective at that time. I had stopped
01:45:40
challen being challenged. I I'd stopped
01:45:42
growing as a person, I think, in that
01:45:45
role that I was in. And same role for 11
01:45:48
years will do that. Yeah. In any line of
01:45:50
work, I think. Yeah. And I don't get me
01:45:52
wrong, I tried I tried to find things to
01:45:55
keep lighting my fire and you know, I
01:45:59
just I I needed something and I just
01:46:02
didn't know what it was. So, I started
01:46:03
applying for other jobs at other
01:46:05
stations and I kept on getting the door
01:46:08
shut on me without any explanation. So,
01:46:11
oh, internally at weeks. Yeah. And I I
01:46:14
like I I just kept trying. I was like,
01:46:16
"Okay, maybe it's not my time." And and
01:46:17
maybe and there were there were so many
01:46:19
other great announcers. Like I I don't
01:46:21
think I'm the cream of the crop. I don't
01:46:23
think that I'm the messiah of radio or
01:46:25
anything. Um and I don't I don't ever
01:46:27
think that, you know, I'm bigger than
01:46:29
anybody else. I think I'm still learning
01:46:32
even now being on breakfast radio in
01:46:34
that capacity and in that I love the
01:46:36
challenge because I can learn on the go.
01:46:39
But at that point in time, I thought,
01:46:41
"This is it. I I've now gone into
01:46:43
training other people up, training other
01:46:46
people to go on to radio, to do
01:46:48
breakfast, to do weekends, to do the
01:46:50
edge, to do George, to do more FM, you
01:46:53
know, I started training all the other
01:46:54
people." And I'm thinking, I actually
01:46:56
like this part of it, mentoring people.
01:46:59
And I thought, maybe that's it. Maybe
01:47:02
this is where I'm at. And when I got
01:47:04
turned down for a job for another
01:47:06
station, I kind of looked around and I
01:47:09
thought, man, here I am training these
01:47:11
people who want to be on radio where I
01:47:13
am, and here I am trying to be on radio
01:47:15
where they are and these people that I
01:47:17
admire. You know, I'd sit there and I'd
01:47:20
look at these announcers going, I want
01:47:22
your seat.
01:47:23
But it it felt wrong looking at your
01:47:26
colleagues, your friends, you know,
01:47:28
people who you who you respect going, I
01:47:31
have to sit here and wait here for you
01:47:32
to be culturally canceled,
01:47:37
carcing, you know, this industry is so
01:47:39
small and and I thought, is somebody
01:47:43
waiting for me to do that? And then
01:47:46
music started playing and I didn't know
01:47:48
who the artist was. I was like, who the
01:47:50
hell and how do you say this name? And I
01:47:52
started feeling really old. And then I
01:47:54
started looking around me and you know
01:47:57
other announcers weren't even born when
01:48:00
Broken Wings came out. I was like, you
01:48:02
know what? It is time for me to move
01:48:04
over. You know, I've done enough here to
01:48:07
create this environment and make this
01:48:09
space better than it was when I came
01:48:11
into it. It's now time. And it like my
01:48:14
FM is such a cool brand. It's such an
01:48:17
amazing brand and it's such an effective
01:48:19
brand. It's such a great um catalyst for
01:48:22
our youth and our langatahi and just our
01:48:24
our our community, our minority
01:48:27
community as well and it needs better.
01:48:31
And I just didn't feel like I was doing
01:48:33
that for them anymore. And I thought,
01:48:35
you know what, it needs fresher
01:48:37
meat. I need to leave. I need to make
01:48:39
way for the Langati to come through and
01:48:41
and give them a chance. Give them a
01:48:43
shot. And so that was my whole thought
01:48:46
process. I didn't have a job to go to. I
01:48:48
was like, "This is it." Then I found out
01:48:50
I was pregnant with um my sixth child
01:48:54
and I thought, "Wow, after the last
01:48:57
experience, I can't have that happen
01:48:59
again." So, it just all kind of just
01:49:02
fell into this and Yeah. And I you kind
01:49:06
of just know, you know, when you feel
01:49:09
it. Yeah. And I I wasn't I mean, I was
01:49:12
sad to go because I know I'm leaving
01:49:14
friends. I'm leaving some great,
01:49:16
amazing, talented people. But at the
01:49:18
same time, I'm like I didn't feel hurt
01:49:21
and and second guessing or feel guilty
01:49:23
about my decision. You know, I wasn't
01:49:25
going, "Oh, no. I changed my mind. I
01:49:26
changed my mind. I wasn't freaking out
01:49:28
about it. So, I just knew that I needed
01:49:30
to put myself in an uncomfortable
01:49:32
position in order for me to grow and in
01:49:35
order for someone else to come through,
01:49:36
make room. Make room. You know, I'm not
01:49:39
the gatekeeper. So, you know, it's only
01:49:41
right for me to move on over and let
01:49:43
someone else shine in there. And people
01:49:46
are just they're they're amazing. Like
01:49:48
the the people who have come into that
01:49:50
and filled those positions now in the
01:49:52
way that it's developing now, that
01:49:53
station is only going to go from
01:49:54
strength to strength. But it was just my
01:49:57
time. And then divine intervention at
01:50:00
the same time I get offered a position
01:50:03
to go and lecture at the radio New
01:50:05
Zealand radio training school with Kim
01:50:07
Addison and Leah. And I was like, great
01:50:11
people, great opportunity. That's what I
01:50:14
was doing. Why not get paid to do it? So
01:50:17
I was getting paid to do that, you know?
01:50:20
So it just and I got to work and I get
01:50:22
to work to this day. I still work for
01:50:24
Awani. So I still lecture in the
01:50:26
afternoons and I I get to work in a MAI
01:50:30
environment which is just so beautiful.
01:50:32
It's so inviting and it just it really
01:50:34
fills my cup and I it's been a long time
01:50:38
since I've been in a place where that
01:50:40
actually has done that. Filled my cup,
01:50:42
filled my waway and just given me
01:50:44
something that I can just grow with and
01:50:46
I love it. It's it's so inviting and I
01:50:48
love the students that we get to work
01:50:50
with. I love being able to expose them
01:50:52
to what radio is, content creating is.
01:50:55
And I I love getting them to come into
01:50:57
the studio and going, "Well, if you guys
01:50:58
want to know what radio is, wake up at 4
01:51:00
in the morning and come in.
01:51:03
You know, you want to see people work.
01:51:05
That's work. You know, it's not all
01:51:07
about the glitz and the glam and the
01:51:08
clout. You know, if you're doing it, if
01:51:10
you're doing and you're chasing
01:51:11
something for clout, for the dream, for
01:51:13
the I want to be famous. You're doing it
01:51:15
for the wrong reasons. And, you know, if
01:51:17
you're doing it for the money, you're
01:51:18
doing it for the wrong reasons. Yeah.
01:51:21
You got to do what you love and then
01:51:22
hopefully the money will will follow.
01:51:24
Did um so you you Yeah. You did so much
01:51:26
at my FM. like the the changes you saw
01:51:29
over the time you were there um are just
01:51:31
exponential. Like it was um it was like
01:51:33
really underfunded when you started. E
01:51:35
like it was a neglected it was a great
01:51:37
station. So Media Works had just
01:51:38
acquired them right and was that was in
01:51:40
a different building like with a leaky
01:51:41
roof right north. Yeah.
01:51:44
So um when Nixon and I came back from um
01:51:47
America, we literally were doing our
01:51:49
show and I think it was lightning. It
01:51:52
was a storm and lightning hit the
01:51:53
building and it cut off the music. And
01:51:55
so literally Nixon's like, "And now it's
01:51:58
Kaye with broken wings. Sing." And I was
01:52:01
like, "Take these broken wings." So, you
01:52:04
know, I was like, "Oh my gosh, this is
01:52:06
actual real radio." And we had to stick
01:52:07
the CD in. So, yeah. No money, no no
01:52:10
resources. And it's worth I I don't know
01:52:12
what the ratings were at the time, but
01:52:13
probably like a 10% share, which is
01:52:14
massive. It's a massive massive
01:52:16
performing station. Um, but just didn't
01:52:18
have sort of any funding or resources,
01:52:20
eh? Yeah. No, no, it was it was slumping
01:52:22
at that time. But you know to be a part
01:52:25
of something and to again it's that
01:52:28
whole go through the creative process
01:52:29
and see it from a vision to that process
01:52:32
of growing and creating something that
01:52:34
comes to be amazing and the things that
01:52:36
you can do with it. Like I I I started
01:52:40
to realize the potential and and my
01:52:42
purpose for being there and I started to
01:52:44
realize like hey I'm on my journey. I
01:52:48
want to speak more maldi on air. Hey, I
01:52:51
want to reach out and be more a part of
01:52:52
the community because that's where it's
01:52:54
at, you know? And I remembered listening
01:52:57
and being a part of like a lot of radio
01:52:59
promos, tossing sausages and and just
01:53:02
getting to meet people and how amazing
01:53:03
that was. How like radio stations how we
01:53:06
we've gone past going back to that being
01:53:09
human, you know, so making that
01:53:11
connection. Yeah. And making that
01:53:13
connection, that human connection of
01:53:14
listeners, now it's all on I saw you on
01:53:17
a video. I know what your whole entire
01:53:18
life is and I get to say and and text
01:53:21
and comment whatever the hell I want
01:53:23
because I think I know you because I see
01:53:25
everything you put on in social media.
01:53:27
You know, it's it's it's really
01:53:29
fictitious. And I I'd like to see radio
01:53:32
go back to the raw rarity of what it is.
01:53:35
But then at the same time, I understand
01:53:37
it's got to grow. It's got to evolve.
01:53:39
And things like this being podcast,
01:53:41
really getting to see the people behind
01:53:43
the scenes and really delving into what
01:53:46
they are. Maybe it's a it's that growth
01:53:48
that we get to go through. You spent
01:53:50
years and years like I watch you on
01:53:53
radio and watch you do amazing things in
01:53:56
radio and got to see you grow into where
01:53:59
you were at now and I got to actually
01:54:02
experience the transition of who you
01:54:04
were in radio and to who you are now
01:54:07
getting to meet this actual Dominic
01:54:09
Harvey
01:54:11
a you're an amazing person you're an
01:54:13
amazing man I think so and and you've
01:54:15
gone through a lot and you know I I I
01:54:18
always used to you know stop and try and
01:54:20
chat to you when you were walking Kanye
01:54:22
as I was trying to race into my show and
01:54:24
stuff and and and I always knew that you
01:54:27
you're an amazing man, you know, and
01:54:29
there was so much depth to you and
01:54:31
there's so much more to you than just
01:54:32
the voice behind the the mic and just
01:54:35
behind this this character of a of a
01:54:38
radio presenter that everyone thought
01:54:40
and that that everyone hated or loved or
01:54:44
loved to hate, you know. Well, yeah. We
01:54:46
we you had to be like polarizing in a
01:54:48
way. Like I think part of that is um but
01:54:50
then there wasn't social media when you
01:54:52
were doing that. So of course you had to
01:54:54
be because how else were you going to
01:54:55
get people to want to listen into a
01:54:57
show? You had to there wasn't a camera,
01:55:00
you know, like it's theater of the mind
01:55:02
in radio. It's all about the effects,
01:55:04
the voice, the emotion. So you really
01:55:06
had to go the extra mile, be over the
01:55:08
top. And it just became so ingrained
01:55:11
into people, you know, and radio has
01:55:14
evolved since then. And it will continue
01:55:16
to evolve. We as people and you know we
01:55:20
just need to evolve with it and find
01:55:21
different ways to make those connections
01:55:24
with the listeners because at the end of
01:55:25
the day we do it for them. You know we
01:55:28
do it to make their day. We do it to
01:55:30
speak to them. That's why I love music
01:55:32
and I think that's why I've tried to
01:55:34
keep my life around music. It's such a
01:55:37
great way and a and a universal
01:55:38
language. You know, you could listen to
01:55:41
any song in any language and you can
01:55:43
understand and feel the emotive behind
01:55:45
that song and it can speak to anybody.
01:55:48
It can change someone's day. And that's
01:55:51
what I love about it. No day is ever the
01:55:53
same, but yet you can speak to them
01:55:55
through a microphone and and we get to
01:55:58
be a part of their day, their life.
01:56:01
You love it. E, I've got a real horrible
01:56:03
question for you. Um, here we go. What's
01:56:06
um so you you started you started in
01:56:08
Flavor, short time at Flavor, long time
01:56:10
at my FM, and now you're back at Flavor.
01:56:13
Which which um station feels like home?
01:56:17
That is a horrible question. It's a
01:56:19
horrible question. Does it feel like
01:56:21
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um two homes. Maybe
01:56:24
you got two homes. I don't I don't You
01:56:26
know what? And and this is probably
01:56:28
people are going to go that's not a nice
01:56:30
answer. Um but I don't care.
01:56:33
Um, I don't see my job as being home.
01:56:36
That's a great answer. No, it's it's
01:56:38
it's a real healthy perspective. Yeah, I
01:56:40
don't see my job being um home. And I I
01:56:43
see that because I witness so many
01:56:45
people be swallowed up in their jobs and
01:56:48
be consumed with radio. If you don't
01:56:51
have something going for you outside of
01:56:52
your job, you will be sucked into this
01:56:56
this hole and it will suck the life out
01:56:58
of you. And I think that goes with any
01:57:00
job. Yeah. And then then you have the
01:57:02
risk of when if that job's taken away
01:57:05
from you and it's someone else's
01:57:06
decision, then it's like your whole um
01:57:10
what defines you is gone. Yeah. Yeah. Uh
01:57:12
and I I I think that's [ __ ] sad. If
01:57:15
someone's defined by their job. Yeah.
01:57:17
And I I think that I realized that at an
01:57:19
early stage when I got dropped from
01:57:21
Universal as Kaye and I was like, "Oh my
01:57:24
gosh, who am I without this?" Like,
01:57:27
"What do I do now? Where am I supposed
01:57:30
to go? I didn't finish high school. I
01:57:32
haven't gone to university. What the
01:57:33
hell am I supposed to do now? You know,
01:57:35
and I had to go through this whole thing
01:57:37
of hold on, I'm more than just a voice.
01:57:42
I'm more than just a singer. I'm more
01:57:44
than just a radio announcer. I'm more
01:57:45
than I'm more than this. I'm smarter
01:57:47
than that. I'm better than that. You
01:57:50
know, this doesn't define who I am.
01:57:52
These are things that I love to do.
01:57:54
These are things that I can do. What
01:57:57
defines me is what I do with it and how
01:57:59
I do it. and what what I get out of it.
01:58:02
That's what defines me. It's not about
01:58:05
the what you get paid and what you do
01:58:07
from one hour to the next. You know, I
01:58:10
could talk on a microphone or I can go
01:58:12
and clean toilets. You know that that
01:58:14
there's no two ways about it. Yeah. You
01:58:16
don't have that sort of pride thing, do
01:58:18
you? Or that ego. I think I had to
01:58:19
swallow that a long time ago, you know.
01:58:21
And I think the sooner you can do that,
01:58:23
the less you'll let it consume you, you
01:58:25
know, and and let it be the be all and
01:58:27
end all because it's heartbreaking to
01:58:30
watch people and I this is why I I
01:58:32
sympathize with sports people who leave
01:58:35
a long career of like league or rugby
01:58:38
and then they're just like, "What now?
01:58:40
What now?" You know, and it's
01:58:42
heartbreaking to watch that, you know?
01:58:45
So yeah, I try I try to tell everyone
01:58:48
like even my students now, you need a
01:58:50
hobby outside of, you know, radio. You
01:58:53
need a hobby outside of your job. Don't
01:58:56
one, you need it because you need
01:58:57
content. Two, you need it cuz you need a
01:58:59
life. You need to have something else in
01:59:01
your life going for you. And three, you
01:59:05
should always have a high side hustle
01:59:07
that you're in control of because you're
01:59:09
working for someone. You're a business.
01:59:13
you're you're part of that business.
01:59:15
There's a process, there's a system,
01:59:16
there's a game. We're all playing in the
01:59:19
game. The sooner you realize that, the
01:59:21
sooner you can actually jump on the
01:59:23
wagon and do what you can and make it
01:59:25
work for you.
01:59:27
Yeah. And there's never been a better
01:59:28
time, especially for people in media, to
01:59:30
start a side hustle than now. Yeah. Like
01:59:32
build your social media, learn how to do
01:59:34
the Tik
01:59:35
Toks. I'm too old for this [ __ ] Tik
01:59:38
Tok. Yeah. But it's mainly just like
01:59:40
clips that my social media guy puts up
01:59:41
from the Oh, so somebody else does your
01:59:43
TikTok. Yeah. Yeah. I can I can sit
01:59:46
there for hours a trying to figure out
01:59:47
how to get the text on at the right
01:59:49
time. And then I see other people and
01:59:51
they'll whip one out in like a couple of
01:59:52
minutes and it just takes me too long.
01:59:54
It blows my mind. Like I was just
01:59:55
watching this the other day and it was
01:59:57
Will Smith standing with this person,
01:59:59
this young person and they have 8.9
02:00:03
million views and all they're doing is
02:00:05
standing next to Will Smith and they're
02:00:08
holding the camera up and they're just
02:00:09
like doing these faces. I'm like, "So
02:00:13
what do they do? Do they give you advice
02:00:15
on something? Are they doing something?
02:00:16
Like what are they actually doing?" And
02:00:20
it's nothing. And I'm like, this is what
02:00:23
our life has come to. Just standing in
02:00:25
front of a camera talking [ __ ]
02:00:30
This has been so much fun. There's um um
02:00:32
I'm going to have to wrap it up cuz I've
02:00:34
been busting for a piss for like don't
02:00:36
drink all your water at once. Um we
02:00:38
haven't even you've been through so much
02:00:40
adversity and you're so resilient. We
02:00:42
haven't even talked about your um fifth
02:00:44
baby. Uh like born 12 weeks premature.
02:00:47
Yeah. Almost died. You were very sick
02:00:49
for a while, eh? Oh. Oh, well, yeah, I
02:00:53
guess. Yeah, I guess you could say that.
02:00:55
Um, so I went in on December um at 23
02:01:00
weeks pregnant. My waters broke and I um
02:01:05
had her in February and we didn't come
02:01:07
out of hospital until April. So, um my
02:01:11
waters broke, she turned head plugged up
02:01:14
the hole, so she only had water around
02:01:16
her head until 29 weeks. She was born at
02:01:20
29 weeks and um you know I I got to give
02:01:24
birth to her naturally and that was
02:01:26
great. Uh and then she went straight
02:01:29
into an incubator. You know at that
02:01:31
point I was like why are you putting my
02:01:32
baby into a rubbish bag? Like what the
02:01:34
hell are you guys doing? And not to know
02:01:36
that that was actually how they keep
02:01:37
their babies warm before putting them in
02:01:39
the in the incubator. Um, is it a
02:01:41
rubbish bag or is it like a special
02:01:43
medical bag that looks like a I thought
02:01:45
it was a rubbish bag cuz it just looked
02:01:47
like the normal clear plastic that you
02:01:49
know you put rubbish in. Um, cuz I'm
02:01:50
like if it's for heating then why don't
02:01:53
you just put them in the tin foil bags,
02:01:55
you know, the blankets. Those emergency.
02:01:57
Yeah, but I Hey, if you're a doctor out
02:01:59
there, you could tell me different. But
02:02:01
I look like a rubbish bag to me. That's
02:02:02
what I said to them. Um, my husband, you
02:02:05
know, went went with her and stuff and,
02:02:08
you know, it was a real touchandgo
02:02:09
moment. like we didn't know how that
02:02:12
whole situation was going to go. The
02:02:14
conversations around having a baby or
02:02:16
being in labor uh at 23 to to to 30
02:02:19
weeks is a really morbid and stressful
02:02:23
conversation. The the vitality of and
02:02:26
and the lifespan of a child at that age
02:02:29
and and born at that thing is really
02:02:30
touchand go. They can catch even if
02:02:32
they're born healthy and fine, they can
02:02:34
still catch things. you know, they still
02:02:36
got to grow because she's no longer
02:02:38
inside my puku and where it's safe where
02:02:41
I thought
02:02:43
um and yeah, so we're in hospital, she's
02:02:47
still on an um a whiff of oxygen touch
02:02:50
and go there like with her oxygen levels
02:02:52
and stuff. Um we finally come out and 4
02:02:55
weeks later she catches RSV and almost
02:02:57
dies twice. Um it was horrible. It was I
02:03:01
I don't wish it on anybody, you know,
02:03:04
and and to witness that to see that um
02:03:07
like my oldest son, he almost died from
02:03:10
RSV and I was in Long Beach Memorial. He
02:03:12
was in a coma for 8 weeks in an induced
02:03:14
coma um in a paralytic coma where he was
02:03:19
on actual life support. Uh and I kind of
02:03:22
didn't understand it then because I
02:03:25
didn't really get to see it in its full
02:03:28
entirety. I didn't get to see his
02:03:30
struggle. I had gone home for a shower
02:03:32
because he they just told me that he had
02:03:34
had the flu and he was just needed a
02:03:36
little bit extra help to breathe. So
02:03:39
when they intubated him and when I got
02:03:40
back to the hospital cuz they said he
02:03:42
had a code blue, um I was like, okay.
02:03:46
And that was kind of my first like
02:03:49
knowledge around, okay, this is what RSV
02:03:52
is, not knowing that it was rampant here
02:03:56
in New Zealand at the time I had my
02:03:57
daughter um honor and yeah, she um
02:04:03
almost died twice. like it's a real big
02:04:05
struggle and I just pleaded with them
02:04:09
like last resort to intubate her to put
02:04:13
her on life support last resort because
02:04:15
it can really damage the baby. It can it
02:04:18
can save their life. Yes. But they come
02:04:20
out with could be brain development,
02:04:24
ears, eyes, all that. There's so many
02:04:26
risks to actually intubating them that
02:04:28
they'd rather not if they can avoid it.
02:04:31
So there was no room in any other
02:04:32
hospital to go to. We were at Middlemore
02:04:35
at the time. Um and yeah, what would
02:04:38
normally take a child at her age or just
02:04:42
any normal child, healthy child, uh
02:04:45
would take 7 days. It took her 9 weeks.
02:04:48
And yeah, it was horrible. Both me and
02:04:51
my husband were arguing with doctors. Um
02:04:53
we were pleading with doctors. We were
02:04:56
sympathizing with doctors and other
02:04:58
families that were in there. We were
02:05:01
just at the hospital 24/7 juggling kids
02:05:04
at home and here at the hospital. Then
02:05:07
she finally makes it through, comes out,
02:05:10
and then 2 3 months
02:05:13
later, I go, "Okay, I actually need to
02:05:17
go back to work. I'm struggling
02:05:20
mentally." Um I think at the time um my
02:05:23
doctor said that I was going through
02:05:25
postpartum depression uh and which is
02:05:29
quite common after having a premature
02:05:30
baby being in hospital for so long
02:05:32
myself and then giving birth and then
02:05:34
having to go through that prematurity
02:05:36
and nurses at the hospital when I was
02:05:38
there told me that I would need to go
02:05:41
and speak to someone and I thought I'll
02:05:42
be fine just need to get the hell out of
02:05:44
this hospital. Um, and so I was going
02:05:47
through postpartum and I needed to find
02:05:49
some normaly. I needed to connect. I
02:05:52
needed to get out of the house. I needed
02:05:53
to stop hearing beeping in my head. I
02:05:55
needed to constantly stop hovering over
02:05:59
her and to is she breathing? Is she
02:06:01
doing this? Is she doing that? Is she
02:06:02
growing? Is she having brain issues? Is
02:06:04
she this, that, this? You know, all
02:06:05
these things. And I went back to work.
02:06:10
I drive to
02:06:12
work
02:06:14
and my husband's at home with the kids.
02:06:18
I think we might have been locked down
02:06:22
and I
02:06:24
go into the building, say hi, start
02:06:29
walking towards the studio. I walk past
02:06:32
the edge. I walk to the ramp, say hi to
02:06:36
the breakfast crew. I walk up. I open
02:06:39
the door. I get a phone call and it's my
02:06:41
husband screaming. And it's a scream
02:06:44
that I never want to hear ever again
02:06:47
ever. Ever.
02:06:49
Ever. She's going blue. She's dying.
02:06:52
She's not breathing. What do I do? You
02:06:54
need to come home. She's She's limp.
02:06:58
She's struggling. She's She's I What do
02:07:00
I do? What? And I'm just screaming,
02:07:02
"Call an ambulance. Call an ambulance."
02:07:05
And he was like, "I've got the oxygen."
02:07:07
At that point, I don't know
02:07:09
why, but I hadn't given back the oxygen
02:07:12
tanks. And both my husband and I were
02:07:15
like, "Oh, maybe we should hang on to
02:07:16
them." And for some reason, my husband
02:07:20
was by the oxygen tanks the day
02:07:23
before and had tested it to see if it
02:07:27
was still working, the valves and
02:07:28
everything, and hooked up the nasal
02:07:31
canulas.
02:07:32
I don't know
02:07:34
why, but he got the nasal canulas, laid
02:07:38
her after doing CPR, and my oldest
02:07:40
daughter called the ambulance, he shoved
02:07:43
those canulas up her and turned the
02:07:45
oxygen up so far that that was probably
02:07:48
her saving grace to keep her until the
02:07:50
ambulance came and then rushed her to
02:07:52
hospital.
02:07:54
um she had had caught a rhino virus
02:07:57
which is just a common flu common cold
02:08:00
um and just stopped
02:08:02
breathing and so yeah that was that was
02:08:05
really scary and so Oh did you feel you
02:08:09
felt guilty for going back to work? I
02:08:11
did. Yeah, I did. I felt guilty for
02:08:13
going back to work. I felt guilty for
02:08:15
leaving my husband in that situation. I
02:08:18
felt guilty that my kids had to see that
02:08:20
and experience that because every time
02:08:22
anything happened to her, we were all on
02:08:25
edge, especially my husband. Like it it
02:08:29
really triggered him. It really
02:08:31
triggered him and it still triggers him
02:08:32
to this day, you know, even with our our
02:08:34
our youngest baby. Any little cough, any
02:08:37
little sound, what's wrong with him? Is
02:08:39
he okay? Yep. All right. You know, he's
02:08:42
always always on edge, like just
02:08:44
waiting, watching. He he's such a
02:08:46
hands-on dad, which I love. And, you
02:08:48
know, he's he's so aware and he's really
02:08:51
quick, you know, real quick when he's
02:08:52
around it. But it it really it changed a
02:08:55
dynamic of our relationship, of our
02:08:57
family. And it really at first it was a
02:09:00
strain because obviously there was a lot
02:09:02
that each of us were going through
02:09:04
personally. And then to go through that
02:09:06
together, we really realized we we need
02:09:10
to actually come together and we need to
02:09:13
do this. we need we and it was really it
02:09:16
was really good for us I think in terms
02:09:17
of realizing where we were at as a
02:09:20
family and going through these things
02:09:23
because man that really does test your
02:09:26
relationship. It really does. So um he
02:09:30
had proposed to me obviously when I
02:09:31
found out I was pregnant to her after
02:09:33
being together for 7 years and we had
02:09:37
planned on getting married but then co
02:09:39
came so and then I found out I was
02:09:41
pregnant
02:09:42
and life happened and we really couldn't
02:09:45
do anything. She was on and off sick in
02:09:48
and out of hospital for 2 years, you
02:09:50
know. So that was really hard, but each
02:09:53
time just just keep powering through,
02:09:55
just keep going through, you know, she's
02:09:58
going to get better every time. Just
02:10:00
find a positive in it. You know, oh
02:10:02
well, at least this time we didn't have
02:10:03
to go on oxygen. At least this time she
02:10:05
didn't have to be induced into a coma or
02:10:08
put to sleep. And you know, these little
02:10:09
things like, hey, at least this time she
02:10:11
could eat. You know, hey, she's still
02:10:14
eating. There's more things that she can
02:10:15
do. You see her now, you would never
02:10:17
think that she's been through all these
02:10:18
things. She's so feisty. She's so
02:10:20
independent early on, right? Yeah. And
02:10:23
she's such a lioness. Like, she's so
02:10:26
fiery. It's not funny. She gives us a
02:10:29
run for her money. She's not even the
02:10:30
youngest in the house anymore, but she
02:10:32
still rules the coupe. She rules her
02:10:34
dad. She's going wrapped around his
02:10:36
finger. Like, she is an amazing little
02:10:38
little kid. And um and then when I got
02:10:42
pregnant this time round um obviously
02:10:45
when I left my and and decided okay I
02:10:48
actually need to focus on this because I
02:10:50
was scared. I didn't want to get excited
02:10:52
about the pregnancy because here I was
02:10:54
not even knowing if I could even make it
02:10:56
to 23 weeks let alone make it through a
02:10:58
whole pregnancy which I didn't. But I'm
02:11:02
so grateful that I was able to make it
02:11:04
to at least 32 weeks. I went into labor.
02:11:07
waters broke and then nothing happened.
02:11:10
So it stalled for a couple of weeks and
02:11:12
I was just by the grace of God that by
02:11:15
34 weeks, which is great because by 32
02:11:18
weeks their lungs had developed fully
02:11:21
developed, um that he just needed to get
02:11:23
fat and he was stuck under my ribs and I
02:11:25
ended up going into labor. So they had
02:11:27
to cut me open and you know, my modeling
02:11:30
days are now over.
02:11:34
Never going to get into a bikini ever
02:11:36
again. Oh, no more no more Treasure
02:11:39
Island. No more FHM shoots, man. You've
02:11:41
um Oh, we Did you do an FHM shoot? Yeah.
02:11:44
Did you FHM? Um for is it for him
02:11:47
mainly? For him magazine. It was like a
02:11:50
cover of the rugby magazine or painted
02:11:52
as well. Right. Right. Yeah. You were
02:11:54
sexualized at a very young age, eh? No,
02:11:56
I was 18 by then. Right. Right. Yeah.
02:11:58
They didn't let me do that stuff until I
02:11:59
was of age.
02:12:02
[ __ ] you've been through there's been
02:12:03
so much adversity e like do you yeah how
02:12:06
are you so resilient
02:12:09
just born this born this way or you know
02:12:11
is it just like um scar tissue from
02:12:14
going through so much that's made you
02:12:15
strong or I I don't know maybe it's
02:12:19
perspective maybe it's it's it's it's
02:12:21
just uh how I'm built I don't know may I
02:12:26
give credit to great grandparents and my
02:12:28
mom and dad you know I've watched my mom
02:12:30
be so resilient
02:12:32
You know, I only realized my mom was
02:12:33
human when I saw her crying at the age
02:12:35
of nine because someone had driven
02:12:37
through the side of our house and the
02:12:39
hot water boiler cupboard just burst and
02:12:41
and the dishwasher broke, the washing
02:12:43
machine broke all at once and my dad was
02:12:45
in Bosnia and she she was trying to be a
02:12:48
school teacher studying and holding down
02:12:50
three jobs. So, you know, the the
02:12:54
perspective is at least I have my
02:12:56
family. At least I have a roof over my
02:12:58
head. I am alive. I have my health,
02:13:01
which I'm grateful for. And everything
02:13:04
that happens happens for a reason. And I
02:13:07
have to find that lesson in that reason.
02:13:10
Um, if I can get through that and maybe
02:13:13
I haven't learned the lesson and it's
02:13:14
come around again, I wasn't listening
02:13:16
the first
02:13:18
time. So, pay attention. Pay attention
02:13:21
to your surroundings. What a role model.
02:13:23
Thanks. What a role model you are. No,
02:13:25
sincerely I mean that. My god. Um yeah,
02:13:28
we I'll tell you what this um this has
02:13:29
been such a great interview and um I'll
02:13:32
tell you how I know this. Like I I had
02:13:33
on my notes cards um to talk about
02:13:35
Dancing with the Stars and for most
02:13:37
people that come on the podcast if
02:13:39
they've been on Dancing with the Stars
02:13:40
it might make like 10 minutes or 15
02:13:42
minutes. Haven't even got to it. No.
02:13:44
seems compared to the other stuff the
02:13:46
other um you know parts of your
02:13:49
tapestry with the stars is nothing. Oh I
02:13:51
know that was a bit of stupidity at the
02:13:52
same time honestly. Um I did it for the
02:13:55
Revolution tour which is an amazing tour
02:13:57
that goes around to um schools around
02:13:59
New Zealand talking to kids uh as young
02:14:03
as primary intermediate to all the way
02:14:05
to high school and they talk about uh
02:14:07
talk to them about self harm uh youth
02:14:10
suicide um you know that whole cyber
02:14:13
keeping your cyber safe and and finding
02:14:15
a person to actually talk to. you know,
02:14:17
that stuff happens way too much in our
02:14:19
country and and way too much to our kids
02:14:21
and and it's bloody hard to, you know,
02:14:24
navigate and stuff and I think they do a
02:14:26
fantastic job. And I thought, you know
02:14:28
what, this is a great cause and if it's
02:14:31
meant to be, that's who I want to do it
02:14:33
for. Um, and I was 16 weeks post
02:14:38
C-section and got on there, did it,
02:14:42
needed a waist trainer to hold me up
02:14:44
because I had no core muscles and I was
02:14:47
spazzing out every time I got on the
02:14:49
dance floor, but we did it and and I'm
02:14:52
grateful for it. Um, Oh, and you had
02:14:54
people mom shaming you, eh? Oh, yeah.
02:14:57
Yeah. Get out. Um, yeah. What did she
02:15:00
say? um you you're you're you've got it
02:15:03
from the neck up, but from the neck down
02:15:04
you're not beautifully aesthetic, which
02:15:06
I didn't understand. And I had I don't
02:15:10
think it had ever been done on the show
02:15:14
in its history or ever in New Zealand,
02:15:16
but I grabbed the mic and I was like,
02:15:18
"Excuse me, do you clear to clarify what
02:15:19
you just said?"
02:15:22
Like, can you put it into context that
02:15:23
we understand? Cuz I'm not a
02:15:25
professional dancer here. I'm dancing
02:15:26
for charity. I'm supposed to be the
02:15:28
so-called celebrity. I'm not here to do
02:15:32
all these fancy dance moves. Like my
02:15:34
poor dance partner couldn't even lift me
02:15:37
up. I love
02:15:39
you. But you know, and it was it was a
02:15:42
time where I was just like that is not
02:15:45
cool. Um she thought that I had some
02:15:49
superpower because I was on radio and
02:15:51
she was on television. Um but eventually
02:15:54
we worked it out. I did say to the
02:15:56
producers, "Hey, look, you let her know
02:15:58
I want to talk to her face to face cuz
02:16:01
that was not cool." And they were like,
02:16:03
"Um, do do we need to be there? Do we
02:16:06
need security?" And I was like,
02:16:09
"No, this is just adult woman towoman.
02:16:12
Like, we're going to have a conversation
02:16:13
because I actually want to understand
02:16:15
what the hell she was trying to say."
02:16:17
And eventually I got it. Like she she's
02:16:20
an amazing amazing judge, amazing
02:16:22
dancer. And I guess just the way that
02:16:25
she said it didn't come out right and
02:16:28
she just didn't articulate herself
02:16:31
properly uh in a way that we could
02:16:34
understand because she's a professional
02:16:36
dancer. We're not. But yeah, I mean
02:16:40
eventually we we got there. We
02:16:42
understood each other. And I mean I was
02:16:45
okay with it. Pick myself up, move on.
02:16:47
Like I'm not going to hold a grudge
02:16:48
against it. It's not worth my energy and
02:16:51
time. I was there to raise money for a
02:16:54
charity that was doing far more
02:16:56
important work than me just dancing in
02:16:58
sequins, you know. So, it was a great
02:17:01
experience, stressful
02:17:03
one, but you know, having
02:17:06
to go and do my job on radio in days,
02:17:10
leave to go practice, run, go pick up
02:17:12
the kids, get dinner ready, breastfeed a
02:17:14
baby, then go and practice, and then
02:17:17
come home at 1:00 in the morning to
02:17:18
breastfeed a baby, wake up and drop them
02:17:21
all off at school, and then go back and
02:17:23
do it all again, day in day out. Like I
02:17:25
I mean I'm I'm a competitive person, so
02:17:27
I'm I'm not just going to put in the
02:17:29
standard 15 hours that they say in the
02:17:31
contract to do, you know, I want to make
02:17:33
sure that I'm doing it some justice, you
02:17:35
know? I want to make sure that I'm there
02:17:37
and that I'm doing them the service that
02:17:40
they need the the charity. So, um yeah,
02:17:43
a lot of people that go on that show do
02:17:46
put over the amount of work into that
02:17:48
show and they put so much practice into
02:17:50
it. Oh, I think you you were on the same
02:17:52
series as um Clint Randall, who I was
02:17:55
working with at the time. I saw how hard
02:17:57
he trained. It was phenomenal. It's
02:17:58
crazy. Crazy. Yeah. He didn't even win.
02:18:00
Manu won that. Manu won. Yeah. Yeah. So,
02:18:02
Manu um William Widawa um gosh, we had
02:18:11
um Oh, uh Laura Daniels. All right.
02:18:16
Bloody amazing. Yeah, she made the final
02:18:18
two, I think. Okay. Gosh, she she's an
02:18:20
amazing person. Amazing phenomenal.
02:18:22
Super competitive as well. Yeah. We I
02:18:24
think that's what was so funny about it.
02:18:25
Like we were all the biggest jokesters,
02:18:27
but we were all super competitive, but
02:18:29
yet we all knew that we were and like
02:18:31
everyone was trying to be secretive
02:18:32
about it. We were like, "Bro, we know
02:18:34
everyone's competitive. No one wants to
02:18:35
look dumb." Yeah. Was Eric Murray on
02:18:37
that one as well? No, he was on the next
02:18:39
one. Right. Right. Yeah. Um I think
02:18:41
that's when the [ __ ] started going down
02:18:42
for Manu. You probably didn't know about
02:18:43
this at the time, but I believe it was
02:18:45
during Dancing with the Stars um that
02:18:48
the police started like talking to him.
02:18:50
Oh, I don't I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I
02:18:53
believe it was quite a I've heard him on
02:18:54
some other podcasts. I believe it was
02:18:55
quite a stressful time for him. But
02:18:56
you'd never I knew I knew it was a
02:18:58
stressful time for him and I can't speak
02:19:00
on his behalf. I just knew that it was a
02:19:01
stressful time for him. I mean, the man
02:19:03
was about to have a baby as well. So,
02:19:05
his wife was there and you know, heavily
02:19:06
pregnant and yeah, I I like he was
02:19:10
putting in so much work to train. So
02:19:13
yeah, I I don't know what was happening
02:19:15
around behind the scenes out of that.
02:19:16
All I know is we were all trying to
02:19:18
train and people getting pissed off. You
02:19:20
took my room. I I was booked in this
02:19:22
room. Well, I need to do a lift and I
02:19:24
can't do the lift in that room. There's
02:19:25
a low roof. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's tired
02:19:27
and sore. Oh, yeah. No. Yeah. So, it was
02:19:30
good times and I'm again I'm grateful
02:19:33
for those opportunities to do those
02:19:34
things and I think each time that I've
02:19:36
done something like that a little bit I
02:19:39
learn a little bit more about myself and
02:19:41
I get to share a little bit more about
02:19:42
myself. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. And I
02:19:45
hope that's what something people get
02:19:46
out of the
02:19:47
podcast a bit more about about who you
02:19:50
are. We've been going for 2 hours. So,
02:19:52
you did a breakfast radio show this
02:19:54
morning. You've done a 2 hour 18
02:19:55
podcast. Are you exhausted now? No. No.
02:19:57
I've got to go and pick up the baby,
02:19:59
breastfeed the baby, and um get some
02:20:00
dinner ready. Yeah. Yeah. Friday night
02:20:02
in the um what's your in the SA house on
02:20:05
the Yeah. Friday night. Yeah. Oh, we
02:20:06
haven't we didn't talk about the meat
02:20:07
yet. We might do another podcast. We
02:20:09
didn't talk about those meat. There's so
02:20:11
much. We touched on the important parts
02:20:12
for now. Friday. Friday night in the um
02:20:15
in the household. What does that look
02:20:16
like? Movie night. Yeah. Yeah. Fend for
02:20:18
yourself Friday, I call it.
02:20:20
It's even got like a catchy radio name.
02:20:22
There there's toasties. You know, my
02:20:24
kids are really resourceful. Please
02:20:26
believe I've even taught my
02:20:27
four-year-old how to make their own
02:20:28
cereal, how to turn on the microwave,
02:20:31
you know, these are the times you put it
02:20:32
in for, that's it, you know. So, my kids
02:20:34
are really resourceful. They know how to
02:20:36
make their beds, make their own lunches,
02:20:38
you know. Teach my kids to be really
02:20:40
independent and, you know, do things for
02:20:42
themselves, you know, cuz if we all want
02:20:45
to be one place, we all got to move
02:20:46
together, you know, and we can't get
02:20:48
stuff done if it's just me doing it. So,
02:20:49
we all pitch in, we all work together.
02:20:52
That's what a faro is. We all help each
02:20:53
other out and we move together. So if
02:20:55
one person's got one thing going on,
02:20:57
then we're all going to support. So my
02:20:59
oldest kids are performing at Polyfest.
02:21:01
They've been practicing their little
02:21:02
butts off for the last couple of months
02:21:04
every day. So they are getting ready to
02:21:07
do Kapahaka and so they've got a dress
02:21:10
rehearsal. So we're all going along to
02:21:11
that. And um the my my youngest ones are
02:21:14
so excited. They love it. They love
02:21:16
going to cheer on their older siblings
02:21:18
and so yeah, we're all excited to go
02:21:20
watch them. So yeah, we'll do that.
02:21:21
Movie nights, mattress mod styles,
02:21:24
popcorn, all that kind of thing. Yeah,
02:21:27
go watch movies that probably were
02:21:28
inappropriate.
02:21:31
I like what what was it last Friday? Uh
02:21:33
Water Boy. Oh, Water Boy. Oh, Adam
02:21:35
Sandl. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, um probably
02:21:37
not something that you play for six and
02:21:38
four year olds.
02:21:40
I like wow that didn't age well.
02:21:43
Oh, this has been great. [ __ ] Um Oh,
02:21:46
yeah. Even all your all your businesses.
02:21:48
You and your husband. How many
02:21:49
businesses have you got? Is it six six
02:21:51
businesses? Honestly, every time I have
02:21:53
a kid, he opens up a new business. I
02:21:55
mean, it's it's just um yeah, we don't
02:21:57
need to get into that, but it's
02:21:58
inspiring. It's like here you guys are
02:21:59
you're running this crazy huge by 2025
02:22:03
standards chaotic household and you're
02:22:05
holding down a full-time radio job in
02:22:07
the morning, which um which I've done,
02:22:08
and I know it's stressful. Um you got
02:22:10
all these businesses going on and you're
02:22:11
making it work. It's awesome. Yeah.
02:22:13
Well, I mean, like, look, do it while
02:22:15
you're young. do while you're young cuz
02:22:18
I'm not going to be doing it when I got
02:22:19
a broken hip and I can't put two words
02:22:20
together. My teeth have fallen out, you
02:22:22
know? I mean, I I make a joke of it
02:22:24
saying, you know, I've got six kids cuz
02:22:26
they're my Kiwi Saver. But,
02:22:29
um, you know, at the end of the day,
02:22:31
like I want my kids to see that hard
02:22:35
work pays off and if you want
02:22:38
something, you know, you you got to work
02:22:41
for it. It's not going to be handed to
02:22:42
you. And I think it's just like that
02:22:45
whole interpretation of, you know, that
02:22:47
generation of entitlement, you know, it
02:22:49
just doesn't come for free. It's not
02:22:51
going to be handed to you, you know. Um,
02:22:54
it's one of those things where my
02:22:56
husband came from nothing, you know, and
02:22:59
and his parents worked very very hard to
02:23:02
give him the life, you know, and for him
02:23:04
to be able to provide that for his
02:23:06
children, it means a lot for him and
02:23:08
it's not going to go unsted. And so my
02:23:09
children need to understand that. They
02:23:11
need to understand that there are kids
02:23:13
out there that don't get to live this
02:23:14
life. They don't get to come to promo
02:23:16
events like they do with me. My kids
02:23:18
work in promo and have since they were
02:23:20
like 10, 12 years old. They've all
02:23:22
learned how to crawl and walk around in
02:23:24
a radio station. My kids have grown up
02:23:26
in radio. So, how many can say that
02:23:29
they've been exposed to that? My kids
02:23:31
will go to a promo, they'll stick a
02:23:34
shirt on and they used to be there
02:23:35
working the promos with the promo team.
02:23:38
You know, my kids are it shows them I
02:23:42
want to show my children that there's
02:23:44
more to life than just sitting in this
02:23:46
classroom. And it doesn't just work out
02:23:48
for everybody, you know. School is
02:23:50
important, but it's not for everyone,
02:23:53
you know, and I need to show them that
02:23:55
there are other things in life that they
02:23:57
need to keep dreaming, you know, cuz
02:23:59
there are kids out there who can't
02:24:00
dream, who won't dream because they
02:24:03
can't see past their driveway. And
02:24:05
that's really sad, you know.
02:24:08
So, being being able to help my kids
02:24:11
dream and show them that there's things
02:24:13
out there, that there's a world beyond
02:24:15
Oakland, that there's a world beyond New
02:24:17
Zealand, you know, that that's so
02:24:19
important to me, you know, and as much
02:24:22
as I get can get help them experience
02:24:23
stuff while I'm in it, why not bring
02:24:26
them along with me, you know? And I
02:24:28
think that's always been my thing. Like
02:24:30
even when I had the babies, I would only
02:24:33
take six I think. Yeah.
02:24:36
6 to 12 weeks off, I'd go back to work.
02:24:40
So, I went back to work 12 weeks after I
02:24:42
had my 10-year-old and I'm in studio
02:24:45
breastfeeding while I'm on the
02:24:46
microphone. This is my FM, the hottest
02:24:48
hip hop in R&B. You know, this while the
02:24:50
baby's on my boob. Nixon's like walking
02:24:52
in going, "Holy crap. I'm so sorry,
02:24:54
Kate." And I'm like, "It's okay.
02:24:55
Whatever." Like, you know, but you just
02:24:58
get it done. You just get it done. And
02:24:59
look, if it it's if it starts to impede
02:25:01
my actual job and my ability to do what
02:25:03
I need to do, let me know and I'll I'll
02:25:06
make it work. Because at the end of the
02:25:09
day, I've still got to feed a family.
02:25:11
I've still got to keep a roof over our
02:25:13
head and everything. And I'm I've been
02:25:16
through enough situations now where I'm
02:25:17
not going to leave that burden on one
02:25:21
person. And it's not that it's a burden.
02:25:23
And and my husband would and he has he's
02:25:26
gladly worked all his businesses and
02:25:28
worked all his 9 toive jobs cuz he still
02:25:30
has full-time job as well, you know, and
02:25:33
he still held it down for us while I'm
02:25:36
at home looking after the babies, while
02:25:38
I'm in hospital looking after the babies
02:25:39
and things like that. And he just does
02:25:41
it without any qual. And that's it, you
02:25:44
know. But for me, we are equal in our
02:25:48
relationship. And there's got to be a
02:25:51
time, you know, he's human, too. He
02:25:53
feels things, too. You know, there's got
02:25:55
to be a time where I can go, "Hey, at
02:25:56
least let me look after you. At least
02:25:59
let me be that person for you." You
02:26:02
know, otherwise, you know, men just go
02:26:04
through this life of I need to be the
02:26:06
rock in the family and I need to, you
02:26:08
know, eat, sleep, and [ __ ] work. And you
02:26:12
miss out on so much. You miss out on
02:26:14
your children's growth. You miss out on
02:26:16
home life. you have a a a strange
02:26:18
relationship in a marriage, you know.
02:26:20
So, it's it's always we're always trying
02:26:21
to make it work for us, not anybody
02:26:24
else, not for the Hollywood movies or
02:26:26
anything like that. We're always trying
02:26:27
to make it work for us, our family
02:26:29
dynamics and our relationship. And he's
02:26:32
taught me a lot about that, having a
02:26:36
relationship, a real relationship, and
02:26:37
what real love is and what that means.
02:26:41
And it's it's been awesome. Like I'm I'm
02:26:43
so grateful because had I had not met
02:26:45
him, I would have probably got on a
02:26:48
plane, left my FM early and moved to
02:26:49
Australia with my family. What a team.
02:26:54
What a team. Eh, I feel like we've seen
02:26:55
K. Is there anything else you want to
02:26:57
know? Oh, no. No, no. Seriously, I'm
02:27:01
busting for a You got You got held up at
02:27:03
gunpoint and you didn't even pee. I'm
02:27:05
It'd be terrible if I peed during a
02:27:07
podcast. Um I feel like I feel like
02:27:09
we've seen Kina today. Have we seen Kina
02:27:11
today? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh when
02:27:14
your young kids get get older, if they
02:27:15
happen to stumble across this and they
02:27:16
listen to it, um yeah. What would you
02:27:18
like to part with? What message would
02:27:19
you like for them to hear?
02:27:23
That's a really good
02:27:27
question. that I love them and that
02:27:32
everything that me and their dad do that
02:27:34
I
02:27:35
do that I've always wanted to show them
02:27:38
and I always want to show them that
02:27:40
there's more to life than what they see
02:27:44
on TV. There's more to life than outside
02:27:47
the driveway.
02:27:50
There's chances for you everywhere. Even
02:27:53
though doors get shut in your face,
02:27:55
slammed in your face, they won't even
02:27:58
open, you know. And I I think that
02:28:01
especially to my
02:28:03
daughters
02:28:05
that you should always love yourself
02:28:09
first and never stop dreaming. Never
02:28:12
stop thriving just because you have
02:28:14
children, you get married, or you have a
02:28:15
family or anything like that, you know,
02:28:18
because situations change all the time.
02:28:20
Never stop dreaming. Never stop giving
02:28:22
up on things that you want in life
02:28:24
because that doesn't define you. And for
02:28:28
my
02:28:29
sons, find a really good, strong woman
02:28:31
to stand next to
02:28:33
you. No, for my sons, you know, I'm I'm
02:28:38
I'm lucky that I can say now that they
02:28:40
are beautiful and they're so respectful
02:28:44
and they're so loving and caring and
02:28:47
kind. And I would hope that they are
02:28:51
still those beautiful young men that I
02:28:53
see now as fathers, husbands, partners,
02:28:57
whatever they are in whatever life, you
02:29:00
know. I don't expect my kids to be
02:29:01
singers. I don't expect them to be radio
02:29:04
announcers. I don't expect them to be
02:29:06
anything that I am, you know. And I
02:29:08
never never tell my children, you know,
02:29:10
at your age, I had a top 10 single. I
02:29:13
was number one and this and that and I
02:29:14
got a Juice TV award and I got this, you
02:29:17
know. I never tell my children that.
02:29:19
Never. Because that's not an expectation
02:29:21
that I ever want to put on them. I just
02:29:24
want them to be happy and to know that I
02:29:27
love them no matter what. No matter who
02:29:29
they are, what they are, what they're
02:29:30
doing, everything like that. I love them
02:29:32
no matter what. and that everything that
02:29:36
I've always tried to
02:29:38
do is to show them that there is more to
02:29:42
this world than what they can see in
02:29:44
front of them and that they can do more
02:29:47
in this world than what's in front of
02:29:48
them, no matter what age you are.
02:29:52
It's so powerful. What a place to end
02:29:54
it. Kina McNav Kaye, thanks so much.
02:29:58
You're a great New Zealander. Thank you.