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g'day team and welcome to Episode 22 of
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Runners only with dom Harvey on this
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episode Harriet Kane yeah it was a
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really scary thing because I was
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obviously not able to be there for him
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and he was saying I'm going into surgery
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and they needed to get it um sorted so I
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just had no all these questions I wanted
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to ask and you know will you be okay
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what like you know you know being
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paralyzed like there was just so many
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things going through was it was there
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like a was there a real chance of that
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is that what he said to you or you just
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thought you had that fear that
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apparently she's so much fun in in this
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episode we discuss her relationship with
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running and her competitive Spirit her
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relationship with Sam including how they
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met and how he proposed you've got to
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stick around for this it's a hilarious
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story she talks candidly about her
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struggles with mental health a few years
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back and what she does now to ensure she
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stays on top of things and we discuss
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the anguish of watching the person you
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love getting badly injured on TV
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first of all thank you very much to the
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sponsors of this episode of Runners only
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with dom Harvey Fisherman's friend
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Fisherman's friend a fun fact about
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Fisherman's friend which I learned they
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were invented in 1865 and the reason
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it's called Fisherman's friend is um the
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original idea was to help fishermen with
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their respiratory problem so the Lawson
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just became known as a friend and they
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were for fishermen
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so many cool flavors there's the
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original Fisherman's friend the Honey
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Lemon if you've got a sore throat
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there's the black currant there's the
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mint uh real handy thing to have in your
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handbag or in your pocket or by your car
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just Chuck one on your mouth your breath
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will be good
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so thank you very much Fisherman's
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friend for making this episode possible
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really appreciate having you guys on
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board all right let's get into it
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[Music]
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here let's get it started
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fast paced slow and steady anyway you
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coming up just wanna connect for
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everyone who loves running this is
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[Music]
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slow and steady anyway you coming coming
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just wanna connect for everyone who
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loves running hey Runners only with dime
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Harley Runners only with dom Harvey and
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Harriet Kane hello
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hello hello I'm sitting in your gorgeous
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house just out of narawahia thank you
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for having me here today no worries it's
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a pleasure to be on I love running
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um and I I that's probably one of the
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things I enjoy talking about it's
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something that I've kind of grown up
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with and I've done all through school
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and
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um I feel like it's the only thing that
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I do
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that I can kind of clear my head and
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also like push myself to the absolute
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learner and when I can't do it it's
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sucks but so um you're you're very very
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heavily pregnant at the moment like your
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due date's only a few weeks away so I'm
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guessing you haven't been able to run
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you must be missing there not since
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probably week 18 hour pregnancy right
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um and I mean and probably a lot of
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women will know this but I produce a
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high level of relaxation hormone which
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means that the pain in my pubic bone is
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just really extreme
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um so that I about a few weeks before
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that I was just running to try and you
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know
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um get over the pain but it just was
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still there it could get worse and it
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was annoying it was disappointing
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because I loved running and I thought
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yeah I want to be that you know that Mum
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or that pregnant mum who could
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run right up until they were full term
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but that was just never the case so I
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don't know I can't imagine how
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uncomfortable it would be to run when
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you're heavily pregnant wow
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so so when did you when did you start
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doing events was this at school or was
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this after school like when was your
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first um like proper half marathon so
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proper half uh Marathon was after school
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I did one
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um in the mount actually amazing really
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loved that you know you go around the
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mount a couple times
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um and that was probably maybe a year
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after I was
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yeah out of school I think right right
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um and I just love the level of
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intensity and pushing yourself's
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absolute limit
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um I've always loved that because when I
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was at school I used to do rowing
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um and that requires a huge amount of
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um
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intensity and mental toughness that you
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know you can kind of a lot of a lot of
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us really loved it and
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um
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yeah you just gotta kind of put your
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mind into it um and required a lot of
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self-discipline and
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um you know sacrifices socially actually
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yeah 100 yeah I've read interviews that
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um uh maybe your husband Sam Cain's done
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or maybe you've done together and he
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talks about you being the most
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competitive person that he knows I can
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see that I can see you're the sort of
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person that's never going to just you
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know be running for Joy you run a half
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marathon and then the next one you want
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to try and beat that time yes exactly
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how it is yeah oh God does it annoy you
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being you sometimes yeah well like
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sometimes I just wish I would do
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something not to that level I was
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intensity like I could just sort of run
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out and then be like hey you know what
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I'm just gonna have fun and enjoy this
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say it at the amount of times and then
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it never ends up happening so I was like
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oh
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I know this is my personality I think
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and you can't change it but um are you
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there with everything I tried to do
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social netball so oh that's never social
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though no it's not and I was like
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getting so annoyed with people you know
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rubbing up against you and trying to
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nudge you and I was just like get out of
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my way kind of thing and it just ended
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up being unsociable kind of event but it
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was fun okay that was definitely fun I
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just yeah I don't really think my mate
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for doing so much Social things I mean
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can you do anything for fun like say you
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and Sam are good evening at home and you
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I don't know like a game playing a game
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so this is funny actually because I'm
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very competitive with games also like
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it's what are we talking like anything
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so what else do I connect for like a
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nothing game yeah anything like that
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pretty much like I'll get frustrated if
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I don't win and
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okay are you ready for this this time I
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kind of just I don't know I just yeah I
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just I'm funny is he a competitive
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person yeah absolutely no but I'm
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thinking like he's probably obviously
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very very competitive with his job yeah
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which is rugby but is he able to
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compartmentalize so he doesn't care too
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much if you beat him in a board game or
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or they say are you both playing for
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capes oh my god I've actually just being
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started playing this game on our phones
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called 500 and you've played in peers
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um and he's been my partner
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um but it's been funny because he's like
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oh you're not gonna give up on this
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thing and I said no no I'll be fine like
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I'll give it a go and then it's got to
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the point now we're quite obsessed with
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it and um
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who he'll stuff something out and get
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really annoyed with himself and then I
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think and then he'll get angry at me if
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I kind of haven't remembered the social
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what I might be and then
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um
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yeah it's just kind of
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Inspire shaped because I just said well
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I'm not gonna play with you you're gonna
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get grumpy at me so it kind of equally
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the same in that sense so who like like
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in the in the relationship Dynamic I
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find in any relationship I've been and
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there's someone that always sort of ends
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up being like the boss I guess to a
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degree who is with you guys obviously
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he's a very good captain and very good
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at managing people but does he just let
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you have it because it's the path of
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least resistance who's the best
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I think we like to think we're both the
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boss
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it really depends on the situation yeah
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like I would like to say I'm in the boss
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in the kitchen because I love cooking
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always loved it but yeah we're always
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challenging each other on things how we
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can be better kind of um whereas heat
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yeah it's just I could see that I could
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see that you both push each other yeah
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be better all the time yeah yeah so it's
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good yeah it's really good we've got
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good communication and if someone
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doesn't like something bring it up
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pretty easily whereas I think he's
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developed me a lot in that sense whereas
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never like that never got apologizing or
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putting my hand up and saying sorry I
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was wrong
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um but now yeah he's definitely had me
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in that regard so it's good yeah he's
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probably helped him in other regards as
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well yeah but maybe being more
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competitive I don't know so um so the
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running
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um you as well as that you've done um
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some um you've dabbled in Triathlon as
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well as sort of Instagram you've done
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like a 70.3 which is a half Iron Man
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yeah what other you've done two of them
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two yeah so originally was actually only
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I kind of just thought what am I gonna
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do I want something that I can really
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push myself commit myself to and so I
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took up this 7.3 and I thought it would
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be cool to take off my bucket list and I
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trained for a good year I got a really
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good
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um trainer
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um netgirl who um is the All Blacks
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trainer conditioning Coach and he's
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um gazillions of full um Iron Man so I
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knew I was in good hands and yeah it was
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just I really loved the training style
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I've never I've never been introduced to
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Zone training which is used when to for
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your endurance and to build your
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endurance you don't actually have to
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push yourself which is what I couldn't
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get in my head I thought oh this is what
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you don't you don't actually have to
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push yourself sometimes or never a
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little bit but a very small percentage
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of your training you're actually pushing
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yourself so it's maybe five to ten
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percent of your full training uh
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schedule that you're pushing yourself
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right because if you were training by
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Gat rather than following um like a
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program done by someone that knows what
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I'm talking about you just go hard out
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power just max out until
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you can do any longer so
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um and so the training was you say it's
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easier than what you yeah would have
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anticipated yeah and more enjoyable
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because there'd be times where I think
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oh my God I have to go out and do this
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run or this bike or the swim and think
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I'm gonna have to push myself to the
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absolute limit and I put it off
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the whole day and think okay I'll just
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go and do it whereas Zone training
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you're thinking okay I'm just gonna get
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my heart rate to 140 and it's not going
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to go above that and it's enjoyable
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because you can actually still talk at
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that pace and yeah I loved it and that's
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probably why I stuck at it and I I
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wanted to see results and you did see
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results by the way for anyone that
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doesn't know what that is a half Ironman
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can you just give us the um the length
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of the things
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so it's a 2K swim R 90k bike and then a
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half marathon which is 21 kilometers
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yeah so if I ever do one of them and I
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dare say one day I will it'll be I'm
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sure
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it'll be to see if I could then do a
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full Iron Man which I suppose the Holy
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Grail the ultimate is that so what you
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were thinking as well or yeah well I was
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thinking how the heck I mean even those
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numbers 2K swim for 90k bike 21k run
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it is a long time to be you know
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exercising for
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um and I kind of never really thought I
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was gonna do it but I did do it and I
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ended up doing another one so
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yeah I must have enjoyed it I must have
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enjoyed it the second one faster than
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the first one no it wasn't oh you must
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have been spewing yeah so this is where
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my um whole training you know goes out
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the window with the Zone training
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because my personality gone on my in the
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way of things and because I wanted to
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push myself I thought okay you know I'll
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just push myself a little bit more
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um I know I'm not in that zone that I
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need to be
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um to you know go the full length but I
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should be all right and so you just
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thought you go harder than what you
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should do and then just hope you can
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hang on yeah so my heart rate was
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probably about 15 beats over what it
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should have been during my bike that's a
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lot weirdly enough I didn't feel I
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didn't feel too exhausted I was just oh
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it should be okay for my run
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got to my run and within about three or
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four kilometers into it I just
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I've I just was done I had no fuel left
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in the tank I was chugging down
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um sachets of sugar and water and
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Powerade everything that I could get
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myself into because I thought maybe it's
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energy maybe that's what I need to get
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my to get into me no it just didn't work
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and the last about 15K of my run was
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just absolute agony I was thinking doing
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all of the self-talk in my head thinking
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how am I going to eat myself over this
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line because you were saying the last
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15k's but you're only 6ks in I know you
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run it's just beginning exactly exactly
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so it was it was awful like the feeling
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I say I have to stop I'm going to stop
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in the next kilometer that was kind of
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my self-talk but then I would keep
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pushing I'd keep pushing but yeah my my
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run in that second half Ironman was 45
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seconds slower in terms of each
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kilometer um than my first so 40 wait 45
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seconds per kilometer slower yeah it was
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a four five forty five seconds a
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kilometer so on average so it's
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it's amazing that's massive
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um
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yeah I just had nothing left in the tank
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and it would just keep dropping so I
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started off about 5k five minute case
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and then it just dropped but that was
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pretty much the only way I was going to
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get to the Finish Line yeah in a lot of
00:13:21
ways that's probably do you think do you
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feel like that's the best thing that
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could have happened to you like moving
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forward I feel like when you when you
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up badly like that you learn so
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much more about yourself oh yeah yeah
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definitely I know that what I learned
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from that was
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you know Zone training actually worked
00:13:36
for me like I should have just listened
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to the numbers I should have trusted
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that process
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um and then say if I do it again I'll
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absolutely you know go out there and
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just you know stick to the schedule the
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training schedule that has given to me
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yeah yeah it was an amazing feeling it's
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nothing can be a feeling like that you
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know crossing the finish line and
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knowing what you've just achieved yeah
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and in some ways even though the time
00:13:58
was slow and the second one when you
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finish when I'm sure there were like
00:14:00
deep dark moments when you wanted to
00:14:02
pull out like the feeling of Pride that
00:14:04
you actually stuck with it and got there
00:14:05
it must be really good yeah absolutely
00:14:07
yeah it's crazy what your mind can do
00:14:09
like mentally you've I was like a whole
00:14:12
hour over an hour that I was trying to
00:14:15
sit and tell my body to stay in there
00:14:18
stay in this and my body and my whole
00:14:19
you know body was like no no stop stop
00:14:22
you just can't do this yeah you felt
00:14:24
like you you just couldn't live you're
00:14:26
letting yourself down if you do that so
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I I can I I can't imagine you ever
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having a dnf in a race
00:14:33
uh you're just like hang in there yeah
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yeah absolutely yeah so let's go let's
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go way back so you um you were raised in
00:14:40
a Dairy Farm like not far from where we
00:14:42
live yeah and your parents are still
00:14:43
there yes so my parents still run the
00:14:46
farm and they both so my dad still lives
00:14:49
in Hamilton mum lives in taupo now and
00:14:52
I just love the farm life yeah um where
00:14:55
did you go to school um why Savino and
00:14:57
wearing a school so that was
00:14:58
um no one's probably ever heard of this
00:15:00
or I mean everyone says where do you
00:15:03
live where did you live and I said oh
00:15:04
anyway but I don't think anyone's gonna
00:15:07
know where that is yeah it's just kind
00:15:08
of on the way to to call uh to go
00:15:10
farther so right and when did you decide
00:15:12
you wanted to um get into ECE early
00:15:14
childhood education because that's your
00:15:16
job right you're not working at the
00:15:17
moment but you're a Kinsey teacher yes
00:15:20
so I um didn't actually know what I
00:15:22
wanted to do after school did food and
00:15:24
wine course love food still do cooking
00:15:27
and baking and whatnot and then I was
00:15:29
nanning at the same time so I had a love
00:15:31
for children also there's no reason to
00:15:33
boss around no they are
00:15:36
and they're funny little things too
00:15:38
and then I kind of thought actually
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startup was working in hospital for
00:15:42
about six months and I thought this
00:15:44
sucks I had hated the hours the pressure
00:15:46
just didn't like it at all and then I
00:15:49
did a three-year degree in early
00:15:51
childhood education from there I've just
00:15:53
been working in early childhood and
00:15:56
really enjoying it so it's it's good so
00:15:59
you and your husband Sam he's a little
00:16:01
bit older than you yep so I'm guessing
00:16:03
he was um four years yeah okay so he was
00:16:06
he would have been playing in the Chiefs
00:16:07
when you were when you were at
00:16:08
University or still at school in the
00:16:10
last year at school no I was still
00:16:12
um at One tech winter yeah so I think it
00:16:15
was my first year actually right are you
00:16:17
a rugby girl I I feel like because I
00:16:19
lived in I lived in Hamilton for a while
00:16:21
and it's such a I reckon Hamilton and
00:16:23
waikato and Canterbury are the two big
00:16:25
rugby areas of the country people have
00:16:27
the mulu bells yeah they do so rugby
00:16:30
players here are like rock stars even if
00:16:31
you're not into rugby you know who they
00:16:32
are yeah I guess kind of yes or no like
00:16:35
I would my my family is really on drug
00:16:38
we got my dad loves rugby so I guess yes
00:16:41
and no like I would go to some of the
00:16:43
games definitely in Hamilton but I kind
00:16:46
of didn't really know the rules or
00:16:47
anything like that but nobody does No in
00:16:50
fact when I first met Sam I said to him
00:16:52
uh what's that c in front of your name
00:16:54
and he was like are you serious because
00:16:57
yeah you could work give it a captain
00:16:59
right yeah right you could work there
00:17:01
was something like Central yeah I was
00:17:03
like what does that mean and then all my
00:17:05
all of my friends were like are you
00:17:07
kidding me right now but I was like oh
00:17:09
gosh
00:17:14
yeah and I was like no I'm being serious
00:17:17
so so did you um like before you you
00:17:20
knew him were you like oh he's he's
00:17:23
quite a good looking guy or did you ever
00:17:24
crash on any of the other players no I
00:17:27
kind of I you'd be too young for kahoe
00:17:29
yeah that was maybe before your time
00:17:30
he's good looking though best looking
00:17:32
Chief ever in my opinion yeah yeah
00:17:34
absolutely you may disagree but no no I
00:17:36
agree I agree
00:17:38
so I meet him over in the mount it was
00:17:41
after a gig
00:17:42
um and I think it was a friend who was
00:17:45
friends with one of his friends and just
00:17:47
chatting but we weren't really chatting
00:17:50
yeah it was yeah we just knew each kind
00:17:53
of our friends are friends okay
00:17:55
um and then about a few months after
00:17:58
that
00:18:00
um
00:18:01
we I was in town and he was in town at
00:18:03
the bank by Brasserie in Hamilton just
00:18:06
it could have been worse could have been
00:18:07
the Outback yeah exactly so this is
00:18:09
about six years ago yeah yeah yeah so
00:18:11
yes he was sober dead sober and I wasn't
00:18:14
it was my birthday so we're out a group
00:18:16
of friends
00:18:17
um
00:18:19
nothing like techie like that yeah I
00:18:23
think he would be completely put off and
00:18:24
buy something like that on and then yes
00:18:27
I guess it was my friends were quite
00:18:30
friendly with some of the Chiefs players
00:18:32
in that team because we kind of the same
00:18:33
age and then yeah we just got chatting I
00:18:36
initiated the conversation actually I
00:18:38
read about this you did a like a
00:18:39
magazine article so you know this is um
00:18:42
was this drunk courage I feel like
00:18:43
sitting face to face with you and
00:18:45
hearing how competitive you are even if
00:18:46
you were sober like this is probably how
00:18:48
you'd approach the situation yeah would
00:18:51
you yeah I just went straight over to
00:18:52
him and asked if he was single
00:18:55
man not quite like that but I was I did
00:18:57
actually ask him if he remembered me and
00:18:59
then he said no and I was like oh okay
00:19:01
that's all but awkward
00:19:02
yeah so I asked if you remember me at
00:19:05
the mountain and then he said no and
00:19:06
then he said actually I think you were
00:19:08
that chick with the long brown legs and
00:19:11
I was like oh
00:19:12
maybe maybe I was
00:19:14
um and then we just kind of went from
00:19:15
there really which is history really
00:19:17
yeah so what haven't seen you swap
00:19:19
numbers or you dance for a while he he
00:19:21
asked for my number and then the
00:19:23
following night we both were out
00:19:24
actually except we'd both been drinking
00:19:26
so yeah it was a lot easier to kind of
00:19:29
chat um yeah yeah of course the same
00:19:32
level yes yeah so um and then he asked
00:19:34
for my phone number and that was that
00:19:35
yeah and kind of love at first sight or
00:19:39
a bit of a slow burn I don't know I
00:19:41
guess so I don't know we just really
00:19:42
clicked with like immediately A lot of
00:19:44
the same likes
00:19:47
um which was yeah and we felt like we
00:19:49
had known each other for a long thing
00:19:51
yeah because I was real oh yeah it was
00:19:52
cool amazing same backgrounds in a sense
00:19:54
farming and we just you know like the
00:19:57
same things I mean yeah because there is
00:19:59
that same Opposites Attract and but then
00:20:01
there's also I suppose a situation where
00:20:02
you've got your people like you who are
00:20:04
both competitive and both yeah driven
00:20:05
and stuff which is you know identicals
00:20:09
in a way but I suppose it just drives
00:20:10
you both to be to be better well because
00:20:13
I think opposite strict I'm kind of like
00:20:14
oh is that true because say if I was
00:20:17
really into exercising and you know my
00:20:19
partner husband wasn't it would suck
00:20:22
because you kind of want to be able to
00:20:23
do things together like you've you
00:20:25
really want to be able to kind of build
00:20:26
that connection and be able to do stuff
00:20:28
together because you know that's your
00:20:31
life partner yeah and it must have been
00:20:33
really nice really nice for you and for
00:20:36
Sam as well I guess when you did you
00:20:38
know did your half Iron Iron Man events
00:20:40
and he's there like supporting and
00:20:41
watching I mean it's probably normally
00:20:44
normally you all the way around being in
00:20:45
a stadium with a whole lot of other
00:20:47
people yeah it was really cool yeah and
00:20:49
I think he loved that fact about it too
00:20:52
because he was able to support something
00:20:54
that I already loved and that I really
00:20:55
worked hard for and from that I probably
00:20:58
would do more because you know we've got
00:21:00
both got different Hobbies then we've we
00:21:03
both like to challenge each other and I
00:21:05
like to go out and try something new and
00:21:08
yeah who knows what what's next on the
00:21:10
agenda well motherhood yeah yeah yeah
00:21:13
yeah I can't imagine you um using
00:21:16
motherhood as an excuse for very long
00:21:17
you don't strike me is the type that you
00:21:19
don't sound like cmts from now and you
00:21:20
go well you know I'm struggling to shift
00:21:22
the baby weight yeah um you want to do
00:21:24
some some more 70.3 events more half
00:21:27
marathons so do you want to a full
00:21:28
Marathon I'd actually really like to a
00:21:31
full Marathon oh you'd smash it yeah
00:21:33
just I kind of yeah I've always wanted
00:21:35
to so I've done the halves just never
00:21:37
went to the full extent of doing a full
00:21:39
and obviously my lack of running so yeah
00:21:42
I definitely want to do a full and we'll
00:21:44
see about a full Iron Man would be quite
00:21:46
cool but oh it's just time
00:21:49
yeah a whole nother level compared to
00:21:53
um a half yeah what we need is for you
00:21:55
to have the baby and then seem to have
00:21:56
another very bad injury that's going to
00:21:58
seem you know no that's the last thing
00:21:59
we want
00:22:01
um how have you dealt with things like
00:22:03
um injuries and stuff uh well that's got
00:22:06
to be the weirdest thing like seeing
00:22:08
the person that you love you know
00:22:10
getting who accepts that's a really bad
00:22:12
injuries so for these things have you
00:22:14
been at the grounds or have you been at
00:22:16
home watching it on TV that's got to be
00:22:19
um one of the hardest things to deal
00:22:20
with what's he had he had and like he
00:22:22
said thing so I was a fracturer to a C7
00:22:26
that was definitely far far the worst
00:22:29
right where was that was in South Africa
00:22:32
and I wasn't there I was actually
00:22:35
oh my God I was actually going to sleep
00:22:38
and then my phone keep ringing and I
00:22:40
thought was it a South African gang was
00:22:42
in the middle of the night something
00:22:43
okay so I just watched the game and then
00:22:45
maybe an hour something after giving a
00:22:48
phone I kept ringing I was like I'll
00:22:49
just answer in the morning but then I
00:22:50
eventually answered it and it was Sam
00:22:53
and he told me exactly what happened and
00:22:55
I thought holy so you watched the
00:22:58
game and then went to bed so you you saw
00:23:00
him yeah however I just didn't think it
00:23:03
was as bad as what it was so I can't
00:23:05
remember was he stretch it off or
00:23:14
I didn't think it was anything to do
00:23:16
with his spine but here it says like
00:23:18
we're just like dismissing concussion
00:23:19
we're not but confused
00:23:22
absolutely yeah
00:23:24
[Music]
00:23:24
um
00:23:26
yeah it was a really scary thing because
00:23:28
I was obviously not able to be there for
00:23:30
him and he was saying I'm going into
00:23:33
surgery within a few hours like it was
00:23:35
really
00:23:35
an urgent thing and I needed to get it
00:23:38
um sorted so
00:23:40
I just had no all these questions I
00:23:42
wanted to ask and would you you know
00:23:45
will you be okay what like you know you
00:23:47
know being paralyzed like there was just
00:23:48
so many things going through was there
00:23:50
was there like a was there a real chance
00:23:51
of that is that what he said to you or
00:23:53
you just thought
00:23:55
um it was yes there was that slight he
00:23:59
had that fear there apparently was it
00:24:02
crying on the phone is he like was he is
00:24:03
he does he get scared and emotional or
00:24:06
is it quite he's very reserved in the
00:24:09
sense he doesn't really he never cries
00:24:11
but he just you know when he's scared or
00:24:15
yeah
00:24:15
um
00:24:16
he was just absolutely devastated and he
00:24:20
said the pain especially after the
00:24:23
surgery when he came out of surgery
00:24:24
being in that position where you cannot
00:24:27
move it was just the worst pain you've
00:24:29
ever been in his life and then luckily
00:24:32
was he on like morphine or something
00:24:34
like that yeah he was probably on yeah
00:24:36
still painful though yeah
00:24:38
yeah so I was lucky enough to get on a
00:24:41
plane with my mother-in-law Kathy Sam's
00:24:44
mum so we went over and we stayed with
00:24:46
him for a week and yeah he was you know
00:24:51
millimeters away from being paralyzed
00:24:54
and still to this day it blows my blows
00:24:56
me away to say not just being able to
00:25:00
walk and do you know life the same but
00:25:04
play rugby to the extent this you know
00:25:07
and play you know really good rugby it's
00:25:09
just incredible it's inspirational and
00:25:11
yeah this is this isn't this is your
00:25:13
interview this isn't it yeah but
00:25:16
um remarkable and like as a someone that
00:25:19
doesn't do physical Sports at all you
00:25:21
try and imagine yourself in that
00:25:22
position and how you overcome the fear
00:25:25
to put your body on the line again after
00:25:27
that and commit and do what's required
00:25:31
for that job it's just mind-boggling
00:25:33
like if something happened again would
00:25:35
you would you want him to stop
00:25:37
um I've always had the kind of I know I
00:25:41
guess
00:25:42
mindset that if someone really loves
00:25:45
what they're doing then you can't kind
00:25:47
of take it away from them
00:25:49
um you obviously
00:25:50
express your kind of concerns or that
00:25:53
you're they're a little scary for you
00:25:55
because it is and you don't know what's
00:25:57
going to happen but yeah they love it
00:25:59
and they trust themselves and yeah that
00:26:02
flight with um has mum must have been
00:26:05
the worst 30 or whatever hours in your
00:26:08
life I was yeah up we did get put
00:26:11
forward to can't remember what it was
00:26:12
but it was like the one in between
00:26:14
economy oh premium economy yes and then
00:26:17
we had business on the way home so that
00:26:19
was really nice yeah we were really well
00:26:21
looked after I suppose on the way back
00:26:23
you
00:26:24
did he come back with you on the flight
00:26:26
or was he still over there a bit longer
00:26:27
in recovery no he came back okay yeah
00:26:29
okay well that must have been like a I
00:26:31
suppose you could breathe at that point
00:26:33
yeah yeah yeah we knew kind of the
00:26:36
recovery and what that was going to look
00:26:38
like and it was going to be a long road
00:26:40
but
00:26:41
yeah just the fact that he would recover
00:26:44
to
00:26:45
um back to his full kind of potential
00:26:46
really was just like remarkable yeah a
00:26:48
really good result it's up there with um
00:26:50
I think with Tiger Woods playing golf
00:26:52
again after oh yeah 14 months ago like
00:26:55
it really is could have been a career
00:26:56
end exactly so so on this how long did
00:26:59
the recovery thing take when he got back
00:27:01
home is it a big recovery process it was
00:27:03
yeah it was very big it was probably at
00:27:06
least
00:27:07
six months and where where do you where
00:27:10
do you sit on that so he's competitive
00:27:12
you're competitive are you forcing him
00:27:14
to recover faster or telling him or
00:27:16
telling him to hold back no definitely
00:27:18
not pushing it definitely
00:27:24
he's the same with me in the sense that
00:27:26
he just wants to get better fast and
00:27:29
yeah frustrating because there's only
00:27:32
you know so much you can do and you
00:27:35
can't push yourself because your
00:27:37
recovery might take longer or whatever
00:27:38
but it was actually when he was told he
00:27:41
was in this neck brace and they said
00:27:44
you're going to be you know out of this
00:27:46
by December which is when we had our
00:27:48
engagement party or so like yay we don't
00:27:49
have to be in there for our engagement
00:27:51
party and then he went and saw The
00:27:53
Specialist up in Auckland and he was
00:27:55
they said sorry we thought he was
00:27:57
getting it off but no he was going to
00:28:00
have it on for another four weeks and it
00:28:02
was just absolutely devastated him
00:28:04
because it was so uncomfortable like a
00:28:07
neck brace or a back brace or like so
00:28:09
just right which
00:28:11
um meant he had to turn rotate his whole
00:28:14
body like a robot like a Thunderbird in
00:28:17
fact it was it was quite funny after he
00:28:20
got it off because you would still see
00:28:22
him turning like a robot and he didn't
00:28:25
even have it on like it was just oh just
00:28:27
because it had become like a like a
00:28:29
normal yeah yeah like have it for him
00:28:31
where you just
00:28:32
he's like yeah I need to kind of get it
00:28:34
out of my head that I don't have the
00:28:35
neck brace on anymore but yeah it was
00:28:38
hard to watch him because he just was in
00:28:41
pain it was so uncomfortable a lot of
00:28:42
the time sleeping
00:28:44
everything it's very different because
00:28:46
it's not an injury or something or
00:28:47
something like that but um I suppose now
00:28:49
like with the baby coming up the roles
00:28:51
are sort of going to reverse like he's
00:28:52
going to be the helpless one that's
00:28:53
standing there next year while you're in
00:28:55
hospital in immense pain yeah wishing he
00:28:57
could do something but unable to do
00:28:58
anything really yeah yeah yeah yeah full
00:29:01
circle sort of thing yeah I know I know
00:29:03
he he's got that Danish blood in him so
00:29:06
I know he's going to be good at you know
00:29:08
what's the Danish blood thing I haven't
00:29:09
heard that before what does the Danish
00:29:11
blood thing mean so his family's Dutch
00:29:13
yeah and they come over to New Zealand
00:29:17
um years years and years ago
00:29:19
um and so I actually heard from Kathy's
00:29:23
saying that Dutch people are you know
00:29:25
really strong willed and know what they
00:29:28
want they're really organized they're
00:29:29
quite they can seem quite rude or abrupt
00:29:31
because they can be quite matter of fact
00:29:33
yeah they are yeah yeah and Salmon's
00:29:35
like that he's going straight to really
00:29:37
straight to the point it doesn't beat
00:29:39
about beat around the bush for sure all
00:29:41
right so did he get the um was it a
00:29:43
happy ending did he get the brace off in
00:29:44
time for the engagement party no he
00:29:46
didn't sorry that was so you've got
00:29:48
photos of the engagement party and he's
00:29:50
yeah and he's in this brace but yeah so
00:29:54
um back before the engagement party who
00:29:57
proposed to who did he you propose to
00:29:58
him or did he propose to you no he
00:30:00
proposed did you know it was coming how
00:30:02
long have you been seeing each other at
00:30:03
that point
00:30:04
um few years yeah I think about three
00:30:06
years right that's a complete surprise
00:30:08
yeah but it was funny because I'm one of
00:30:11
those people who um really like to kind
00:30:14
of push buttons and find out when this
00:30:16
was going to happen
00:30:18
I love them but like I was kind of like
00:30:21
oh when's this gonna happen um fine I
00:30:24
was hunting around his luggage to try
00:30:26
and see if I could find a ring and so
00:30:29
yeah I'm sorry but that sounds like a
00:30:31
person that I hate surprises I know I
00:30:34
know
00:30:35
um which is weird because we've actually
00:30:37
not we've decided not to find out the
00:30:39
gender of our baby
00:30:41
no have you got a Vibe I mean yeah yeah
00:30:44
yeah what do you think uh we think it's
00:30:47
a boy why do you think that I have no
00:30:49
idea yeah just us yeah they have that
00:30:51
ink clang but I mean 50 50 chance right
00:30:53
yeah
00:30:57
um are you so you're going through a
00:30:58
suitcase looking for a ring yeah yeah I
00:31:00
couldn't find it I was going through the
00:31:01
drawers I was like because he got back
00:31:03
from South Africa and I said all the you
00:31:05
know diamonds so
00:31:07
really good on South Africa so I thought
00:31:08
oh please if he's come back from South
00:31:11
Africa then he's bound to have brought
00:31:13
some diamonds back maybe we'll see but
00:31:16
um he actually put the diamonds because
00:31:19
he knew what I was like
00:31:21
he knew I know he knew I went on for a
00:31:24
hunt for these diamonds so he put them
00:31:25
up in the um
00:31:27
where'd he put them in the roof because
00:31:29
he was like she'll never go up there so
00:31:31
put them up in the room forgot to put
00:31:33
them
00:31:34
forgot he put them in the roof and then
00:31:37
freaked out because he thought oh
00:31:38
I've lost these diamonds where are they
00:31:40
and then remembered a few weeks later
00:31:42
that that's where they were but yeah he
00:31:44
proposed to me
00:31:45
um we were on a travel way in Rotorua at
00:31:48
a lodge there and he was still at this
00:31:50
point completely in the dark totally
00:31:52
blind was he acting funny or anything
00:31:54
like was he nervous like could you see
00:31:56
you couldn't sense because a lot of a
00:31:58
lot of things that got engaged said to
00:31:59
me all they could tell something was up
00:32:00
no no it wasn't enough yeah just that
00:32:02
they had received his phone call that he
00:32:05
said was like seemed really worrying to
00:32:08
me because it was from my dad but he
00:32:10
didn't say what it was about and I was
00:32:13
like oh gosh can you just tell me now he
00:32:15
said I can tell you later but not now
00:32:16
and I thought why can't you just tell me
00:32:18
now what's the difference
00:32:21
and he just I keep bringing it up well
00:32:24
you could just made something up on this
00:32:25
I know I'm not good at thinking on this
00:32:27
freaked out I think yeah and he detached
00:32:30
this ring to the fishing line
00:32:32
which I thought was
00:32:34
yeah anyway he touched this he got it
00:32:36
off an idea of a friend I think
00:32:37
attention and then went put it in this
00:32:40
gushing water
00:32:42
and then said to me oh would you like to
00:32:44
drink the water out it's fresh it's so
00:32:46
nice and I said No thanks he said come
00:32:47
on drink the water so I put my head down
00:32:50
and he'd dangled the Rings hoping on
00:32:52
surely she can see it but the water was
00:32:54
just gushing so fast I couldn't see
00:32:56
anything and then he brought it up right
00:32:59
in front of my eyes and there it was
00:33:03
this is the most random idea ever and
00:33:06
what's even more scary is the fact that
00:33:08
I said did you trust your knots because
00:33:11
that could have been disaster
00:33:14
yeah I trust in my knots I was like oh
00:33:17
definitely a male friend that gave him
00:33:19
that idea I reckon hey yeah
00:33:21
guys are weird like a guy suggest that
00:33:23
to another guy and the other guy goes
00:33:25
yeah that's a great idea that's really
00:33:27
romantic imagine if he pulled the string
00:33:29
up and he's like it's a ring what
00:33:32
am I gonna do here so what was what was
00:33:35
the thing about your dad
00:33:36
oh so that was that he just asked Dad if
00:33:39
um a permission to marry his daughter
00:33:41
and and he just asked on the on that day
00:33:45
oh so he like flick your data text or
00:33:47
whatever and your dad must have like
00:33:48
called and yeah yeah I guess oh that's
00:33:51
nice and traditional that could have oh
00:33:53
Jesus that could have messed up his
00:33:54
whole his whole plan though why do you
00:33:56
do that in advance I know he's doing it
00:33:58
with me there when I could have
00:33:59
literally came outside oh my gosh but
00:34:02
that's that's quite nice are your
00:34:04
parents quite traditional like were they
00:34:06
would they have been like a I don't know
00:34:08
like annoyed if he hadn't have done that
00:34:10
I don't think so yeah it's respectful
00:34:12
that way yeah yeah and Sam is pretty
00:34:15
um polite and respectful like that and
00:34:17
so
00:34:18
yeah I just don't know why I did on the
00:34:20
on the day yeah yeah so
00:34:24
um so so you you said yes well I mean
00:34:26
we're apart from the weird thing with
00:34:28
the fishing line and the drinking the
00:34:30
freezing water well I was was it quite
00:34:32
an emotional moment
00:34:33
like you must have been four yeah I was
00:34:35
I was blown away
00:34:37
um and I had no idea no idea whatsoever
00:34:40
that he was gonna do it it's well done
00:34:42
so yeah he did a really good job with
00:34:44
that oh my God who's the first person
00:34:45
you call is it your mum sister
00:34:48
I think it was my mum yeah and then yeah
00:34:52
so at that point it kind of been much of
00:34:54
a I mean obviously it was a surprise but
00:34:56
if you've been together for a few years
00:34:57
and everything's going well I suppose
00:34:59
people sort of expect that call Sooner
00:35:00
or Later yeah yeah definitely no it was
00:35:02
a very cool feeling yeah and then you
00:35:04
get married in one okay I won't wanna
00:35:06
cat just because it's a beautiful place
00:35:07
yeah we both love it um
00:35:10
we just love the scenery the outdoors
00:35:13
the I mean even though the running
00:35:17
tracks and the biking tracks like I
00:35:18
could just oh don't get me started on
00:35:21
that I want to try yeah it was
00:35:22
incredible oh the trails down there are
00:35:25
beautiful there's some events that start
00:35:26
there like I'm doing the Kepler
00:35:27
challenge that's on my bucket list to do
00:35:30
oh how good how good and there's another
00:35:32
one I did a couple of years ago which I
00:35:33
wouldn't recommend starts there and
00:35:35
finishes an hour attempt called the Moto
00:35:37
tapu oh yeah there's like 52ks but it's
00:35:39
the steepest thing you've ever done is
00:35:41
it the one where you stay at different
00:35:42
Lodge um and that's one day one oh it's
00:35:44
one day one but the longest day of my
00:35:46
life yeah oh my God please don't do that
00:35:48
promise me you won't do that I can't
00:35:51
promise you right so you have the
00:35:53
wedding and then did you go I won
00:35:55
honeymoon this is pre-pandemic right
00:35:57
yeah well we plan to go on honeymoon but
00:36:00
I think covert happens so much and we
00:36:02
haven't been on a honeymoon at all well
00:36:04
that ain't happening ever now no so I
00:36:07
suppose in a sense because um I saw this
00:36:09
on Instagram you guys did like a
00:36:10
campervan holiday was that last year the
00:36:12
year before last year I guess you could
00:36:14
say it was our honeymoon yeah well I
00:36:17
mean
00:36:18
the last of the obviously apart from
00:36:20
Christmas break I suppose that's the
00:36:21
last holiday that you guys had like as a
00:36:23
couple just a twosome and it was the
00:36:25
best thing we've ever done I mean I said
00:36:27
so I was going to ask you about that
00:36:28
because I thought you you've probably
00:36:30
learned a lot about a person even if
00:36:31
you're married to someone and you're
00:36:32
living in a confined space like that
00:36:34
van holy yeah there was
00:36:36
definitely some shitty moments where you
00:36:39
just thought how am I gonna get away
00:36:40
from this person
00:36:46
um so yeah why is it the best thing
00:36:47
you've ever done I just think you know
00:36:49
we live in New Zealand and we've never
00:36:51
really had the opportunity well I've
00:36:53
just never really gone out and seen
00:36:55
places really so it was kind of a good
00:36:57
opportunity to do that and we went and
00:37:00
stayed with some friends and like the
00:37:03
High Country and all that it's just
00:37:04
incredible like I would happily move
00:37:06
down to South Island
00:37:09
especially you know by Dunedin the otago
00:37:11
kind of area it's amazing yeah so it was
00:37:15
cool to be able to have the opportunity
00:37:16
to do that I mean if have Sam not been
00:37:19
injured we wouldn't have the opportunity
00:37:21
so oh what was this during the rugby
00:37:23
season was this preseason no well this
00:37:26
was when he had his shoulder right
00:37:29
um surgery
00:37:30
he has yeah and we were able to do
00:37:33
something like that so was it like um
00:37:35
was it a van or was it a camper van okay
00:37:38
so it was a okay it's big enough yeah
00:37:41
yeah it was um
00:37:43
yeah it was really cold like we got all
00:37:45
the you know we had everything we needed
00:37:47
I guess the only thing was you had to
00:37:50
really think about what you wanted to
00:37:51
pack because we took all of the stuff
00:37:54
and then we thought oh we're not
00:37:56
going to be able to fit this in we're
00:37:57
going to have to take at least a pack
00:37:59
away and then store it
00:38:02
um and even that was just terminal there
00:38:04
was still too much stuff
00:38:07
um but we managed in school yeah oh
00:38:09
that's amazing so I definitely highly
00:38:11
would recommend it to anyone yeah to do
00:38:13
something like that I've got no doubt
00:38:15
you'll be an exceptional mum and surely
00:38:16
you were your early childhood education
00:38:19
um you know skills with kids we'll help
00:38:21
you with that how do you think Sam's
00:38:22
going to be as a as a dad I think he'll
00:38:25
be awesome dad yeah um he's actually
00:38:26
been to a few of our of the centers I've
00:38:28
worked at and it kind of I don't know
00:38:31
what it is but it kind of annoys me how
00:38:33
good he is with children and I'm
00:38:34
thinking I've been I'm a teacher I'm a
00:38:36
competitive thing again I'm thinking oh
00:38:39
my gosh I mean I've worked in the center
00:38:41
for how long and he comes and doesn't
00:38:43
even know the children and they just all
00:38:45
swarm to him and yeah because I'm
00:38:47
guessing they kids what sort of age are
00:38:49
we talking like two three so these
00:38:52
children were about four right so
00:38:54
they've got no clue who he is so it's
00:38:56
not like a it's not not like a Fame
00:38:58
thing no it's just um I mean he just
00:39:01
bring on a lot of goodies from Chiefs so
00:39:03
Flags bowls everything kids like at that
00:39:06
age but rugby balls right okay bribery
00:39:09
bribery yeah so no they he's really good
00:39:12
with them yeah I could definitely see
00:39:14
him being an early childhood teacher
00:39:15
actually
00:39:17
which is probably a lot safer oh yeah I
00:39:20
mean you know yeah you don't get too
00:39:21
many Early Childhood teachers and neck
00:39:22
braces as far as I'm aware I haven't
00:39:24
done the stats or the research but I
00:39:25
don't know no yeah he will do he will be
00:39:28
an awesome dad and he's definitely
00:39:29
looking forward to it yeah
00:39:31
um I know I said a few times I kind of I
00:39:33
really want it to be a boy he wants a
00:39:35
boy and a girl but you know you can't
00:39:37
choose those things but um just because
00:39:40
he wants to be able to go out and do
00:39:41
things with him you know boys trips kind
00:39:44
of fishing hunting golf all those like
00:39:47
things you can do with your boy but I've
00:39:49
always heard that men who have a little
00:39:51
girl they end up being you know Daddy's
00:39:54
little girl or kind of like just
00:39:56
absolutely love them to bits and yeah
00:39:58
they never yeah it's always me so
00:40:01
submitting with them so yeah yeah I mean
00:40:04
yeah yeah I mean people say that because
00:40:07
I suppose if you just get asked so you
00:40:08
have to come up with an answer but yeah
00:40:10
I don't think you'd love any any sex any
00:40:12
leaves no and I think he's probably we
00:40:14
think so you can't do a lot of these
00:40:16
things with a girl but you can well of
00:40:18
course you can and for all those things
00:40:19
yeah if it's um if it's a girl that's um
00:40:22
just idolizes her dad likes you'll
00:40:24
probably want to do those yeah yeah yeah
00:40:26
I you you're very lucky I went through
00:40:28
um myself and my my ex-wife we got
00:40:30
married and then you sort of you know
00:40:31
take for granted that you're just going
00:40:32
to get pregnant and it's going to come
00:40:34
easy and we we're having years and years
00:40:35
of fertility treatment and it didn't
00:40:37
work um was it quite easy for you guys
00:40:39
did you do that thing it's like oh we're
00:40:40
not trying but we're not not trying and
00:40:42
we'll see what happens yeah well even
00:40:43
that question I find it really hard
00:40:45
because I know there are a lot of people
00:40:47
out there that can't get pregnant and
00:40:49
have really have issues with fertility
00:40:51
and things so
00:40:53
listen you can't worry about that too
00:40:55
much though I've got some friends that
00:40:56
have um that have got pregnant and I've
00:40:58
I've called me before I've told anyone
00:40:59
else to say hey we just want to give you
00:41:00
the heads up that yeah and it's like I I
00:41:03
don't want you to feel guilty about it
00:41:04
yeah yeah you know I'm happy for you and
00:41:06
you know it wasn't in my path but yeah
00:41:08
yeah but good on your thing respectful
00:41:10
in mind yeah I it was
00:41:12
um yeah I was very fortunate
00:41:15
um to what we did conceive um pretty
00:41:18
easily and yeah I think that's
00:41:19
absolutely what you do take for granted
00:41:21
is that um and you hold off because
00:41:24
there's all these little things that
00:41:25
happen in life and you know things are
00:41:27
expensive
00:41:28
um and you can't afford to have kids
00:41:30
right now so it's we'll just hold off
00:41:32
until later in life and then that's when
00:41:34
it's the time where it's really it could
00:41:37
all fall to pieces and fertility is such
00:41:39
a big issue yeah reached 30 years old
00:41:42
and well it's amazing here I learned so
00:41:44
much about them you see the graph with
00:41:46
the um the female biological clock and
00:41:48
it's alarming yeah it's alarming how
00:41:50
quickly your fertility drops off yeah
00:41:52
and all the stresses in life that um add
00:41:54
to that as well we've got so many
00:41:55
stresses in our in our lives at the
00:41:57
moment and the food that you
00:42:01
um that you we ate and all that all
00:42:03
those things you kind of don't really
00:42:04
think about yeah oh yeah it's so
00:42:06
expensive yeah block of cheese 15 bucks
00:42:10
absolutely now when when I arrived
00:42:13
before we started recording this podcast
00:42:14
I asked you if you had a birth plan or
00:42:16
something because uh friends of mine
00:42:17
have had kids they have like a birth
00:42:19
plan yeah and you seem like a you're
00:42:21
very competitive and you seem very very
00:42:23
much a planner yeah you seem very blase
00:42:26
about it I know you guys live out in the
00:42:28
whops well yes so I mean everything else
00:42:31
is relatively organized in that sense
00:42:33
like babies rooms all set up that's all
00:42:36
done I saw that on Instagram it looks
00:42:37
very bougie by the way thank you but
00:42:40
yeah we've I've just kind of not really
00:42:42
got onto the birth plan I don't know why
00:42:43
I kind of got on my head but then I
00:42:45
think also I probably should have write
00:42:46
that down for Sam because I'm not going
00:42:48
to be in that headspace where I'm going
00:42:50
to be really knowing what's going on so
00:42:53
yeah we've I know that I want to have at
00:42:55
the hospital definitely for the first
00:42:56
just to be safe and that's you know
00:42:58
you've got resources there if you need
00:43:01
it yeah and I do like that idea of a
00:43:03
water birth but I just have no idea
00:43:05
what's gonna what's gonna happen and the
00:43:07
chances oh you know what if anything
00:43:09
goes wrong yeah yeah having to go to the
00:43:12
hospital could can take up to an hour or
00:43:15
two hours just getting there so are you
00:43:17
nervous are you scared
00:43:20
um yeah I'd say a little bit Yeah I
00:43:22
think I've had a lot of people talk to
00:43:23
me say it's you know it's the best day
00:43:26
of your life
00:43:27
um yeah probably afterwards
00:43:32
um and you you can't have the drugs if
00:43:35
you need it like you know you I mean I
00:43:37
want to try as much as I can to have a
00:43:39
natural birth but if it doesn't work
00:43:42
for a reason yeah I actually am the hero
00:43:45
yeah yeah I am looking forward to um
00:43:48
having a spin on the gas actually like
00:43:50
I've oh the noise is amazing yeah oh
00:43:52
yeah Sam's gonna have a Hoon on there
00:43:53
yeah
00:43:55
enjoyable yep gonna make the whole
00:43:57
experience a little more enjoyable I
00:43:59
think yeah yeah well it's amazing do you
00:44:00
think you're um the training you've done
00:44:02
for different events over the years and
00:44:03
also the the pain in the Dark Places
00:44:06
you've been into like in that run that
00:44:07
you talked about in the second 70.3
00:44:09
where it was painfully slow do you think
00:44:11
that'll sort of help you in a way or do
00:44:13
you think it's a different sort of pain
00:44:14
well you hear about so many people
00:44:17
um pushing themselves and doing these
00:44:18
extreme events right and then they get
00:44:20
into labor and they just can't handle it
00:44:22
and I'm thinking I hope I hope like I'm
00:44:25
not one of those people I like to think
00:44:27
I'm you know what do you mean because I
00:44:29
would have thought it'd be the opposite
00:44:31
because it's like um if you're in labor
00:44:32
you just have to handle it like yeah
00:44:34
there's only one way that maybe two ways
00:44:36
that baby's coming out but it's coming
00:44:38
out regardless but if you can't handle
00:44:40
the pain in a Dura endurance event you
00:44:42
there's always that option that you can
00:44:43
tap out yes true I just have spoken to
00:44:47
um midwives who've worked with obviously
00:44:49
a range of women and it's the people
00:44:51
that you least expect so it's like well
00:44:53
this lady our lady went into labor and
00:44:56
she was kind of never really you never
00:44:58
expect her to kind of you know she
00:45:01
didn't take any pain relief at all and
00:45:04
then there's the person who comes in and
00:45:05
they're you know they're built to do
00:45:07
this they're strong they're an athlete
00:45:09
they're this this and that and then they
00:45:11
just absolutely take every every um pain
00:45:13
relief they can so I don't know I guess
00:45:15
it just depends on the process and how
00:45:18
you
00:45:19
how you as a person oh God I'd be that
00:45:21
in that ladder group I'd be I'd be
00:45:23
taking like half a dozen Ibuprofen
00:45:24
before I leave the house and if they ask
00:45:26
me if I've taken anything I'd say nope
00:45:27
you don't want the uh what's the thing
00:45:30
that they put the big news
00:45:33
I'd want that but I wouldn't want that
00:45:35
I'd want them to numb the area first
00:45:36
yeah actually so and you've seen the
00:45:39
needle I think that you just pass out
00:45:40
seeing that needle to be honest just
00:45:42
knock knock me out and get us to do a
00:45:44
cesarean yeah that's what I'd want yeah
00:45:46
wake up drowsy and have the baby there
00:45:48
but then you don't want the aftermath of
00:45:50
a cesarean oh is that pretty bad is that
00:45:52
worse than the um natural labor right
00:45:55
just the recovery time is just way worse
00:45:59
and a lot of the leaders a lot of pain
00:46:01
there and just
00:46:02
yeah so I would try yeah I would really
00:46:05
like to avoid a cesarean if I can yeah
00:46:08
wow
00:46:09
um one thing I'll have to talk about
00:46:11
with people on this podcast is um mental
00:46:14
health are you worried about um
00:46:15
quest-natal depression or have you got
00:46:17
like a plan in place for how you manage
00:46:19
manage that if you're struggling
00:46:21
I I've I've talked to Sam a few times
00:46:23
about the struggle and I've actually
00:46:26
been battling with insomnia for the last
00:46:28
few years
00:46:30
um and this last six months I've been on
00:46:33
top of it which has been incredible and
00:46:34
I've been sleeping and it's amazing you
00:46:37
think if anything when you've got like a
00:46:38
person crying in you and it's an
00:46:40
uncomfortable shape would be harder to
00:46:42
sleep yeah why do you think you've had
00:46:43
in somebody for the last few years um I
00:46:45
think I'm just like the stresses I
00:46:48
I had put a lot of pressure on myself I
00:46:51
think to maybe the best person I can be
00:46:54
and I had a situation at work when I
00:46:57
first started working in early childhood
00:46:59
and I just didn't like how I was being
00:47:02
treated and it kind of put my comp
00:47:04
knocked my confidence back a lot and I
00:47:07
didn't want to go to work so I didn't
00:47:09
want to get up in the mornings and
00:47:10
that's when it started and I it was
00:47:12
awful I spent many the amount of
00:47:17
sleeping tablets that I took was just
00:47:19
horrendous and it just makes you feel
00:47:22
like a piece of you just feel awful
00:47:24
you can never have got them like hit
00:47:26
like sort of hungover yeah every day but
00:47:28
I would
00:47:29
uh I would even try to go through a
00:47:32
night you know I'm not going to take a
00:47:33
sleeping tablet and it will just won't
00:47:35
sleep then the next day I would be have
00:47:38
no sleep but before the night before I
00:47:39
had a Seedling tablet so I thought my
00:47:41
only my only way out of this is saving
00:47:44
tablets so it was a really bad few years
00:47:47
but and I guess that's one thing good
00:47:50
thing and that is what's prepared me for
00:47:52
motherhood because I know a sleep
00:47:54
deprivation yeah it's funny the way the
00:47:56
old um the old mental health thing like
00:47:58
everything can be going along really
00:48:00
good this is why I love to talk about it
00:48:02
so much like things can be going along
00:48:04
so well and can be like just one little
00:48:05
thing that happens like for you it's
00:48:07
this person at work and that can just
00:48:08
even when that problem is removed the
00:48:11
damage that it started can remain for so
00:48:13
much longer I mean it was the years that
00:48:15
I took me to get on top of it and how
00:48:18
did you eventually get on top of it I
00:48:20
ended up taking anti-anxiety medication
00:48:23
and I had was I was on that for before I
00:48:27
had insomnia
00:48:28
um but I had back when I was a teenager
00:48:31
um I was on then and mental health has
00:48:33
been in our family so it has um yeah
00:48:36
maybe it's in a lot of the rural
00:48:37
communities it's a massive thing my
00:48:40
sister actually did a massive talk on
00:48:43
mental health and she's in the rural
00:48:45
support kind of Mental Health Community
00:48:47
and she's really on top of that and
00:48:49
really
00:48:50
supportive and yeah I I guess
00:48:54
for me you're talking about it is one
00:48:57
thing that people just don't do enough
00:48:59
of it's funny we definitely need more of
00:49:02
that eh and uh I think it's become more
00:49:03
like you talk we talked uh maybe for 10
00:49:06
minutes about Sam's my back injury or
00:49:08
neck injury
00:49:09
um and the mind has got to be treated
00:49:11
just like another body part yeah exactly
00:49:13
it gets injured and you can fix it yeah
00:49:15
and yeah I I think we
00:49:19
don't actually understand or know how
00:49:21
many people going through stuff like
00:49:23
that but there are a lot of people that
00:49:25
are going through mental health issues
00:49:27
we just don't know it because
00:49:28
we may not know them or we don't know
00:49:31
them enough or they don't want to talk
00:49:33
about it
00:49:34
um there's just so many reasons and I
00:49:36
also think that with this generation it
00:49:38
just seems to be getting worse and worse
00:49:40
and worse yeah on social media social
00:49:43
media
00:49:44
yeah what a time to be like actually
00:49:46
you're probably from there you you've
00:49:47
grown up with it pretty much you're in
00:49:49
entire life I guess like what was it
00:49:51
when you were when you were say 11 12 13
00:49:54
you're living on like bibo I guess
00:49:56
uh I was actually never on Bieber right
00:49:59
yeah I mean my sister was so I suppose
00:50:01
it's been like Instagram and Facebook
00:50:02
pretty much your entire yeah like
00:50:04
puberty years yeah yeah yeah so my
00:50:07
sister yeah I never kind of I don't know
00:50:09
went on to that stage but yes it was
00:50:11
actually you look back on all your posts
00:50:13
and what you used to post back then you
00:50:15
think oh that's crunch why did I what
00:50:18
was I talking about oh yeah Facebook
00:50:20
memories it's like do you want to share
00:50:22
this I'm like ah no I actually never
00:50:24
want to see it again yeah and all right
00:50:26
it's funny the things that that internet
00:50:28
and Google you know will just hold on to
00:50:30
yeah it seems like you're really good at
00:50:32
um at speaking and communicating and it
00:50:34
seems like you're a real good support
00:50:35
network as well so I'm sure if things
00:50:37
get get tough and I'm sure there will be
00:50:39
times where they when they get tough
00:50:40
with um with a young son or daughter in
00:50:42
the house yeah I'm sure you've got the
00:50:44
support in any way to get through it
00:50:45
yeah well Sam is really really
00:50:48
supportive he's great at communicating
00:50:51
and and that's probably why I'm a better
00:50:54
Communicator with him and other people
00:50:56
saying you know telling them my needs
00:50:58
and what I'm scared about you know for
00:51:01
after when baby is born and obviously
00:51:04
this insomnia thing is a big kind of
00:51:07
thing
00:51:08
it is yeah so I am nervous in that sense
00:51:12
that it will bring back that and I one
00:51:17
of those people who just just cannot
00:51:19
function
00:51:20
well if I haven't had enough sleep and
00:51:23
you think about those people who go out
00:51:24
and you know they need a few hours and
00:51:27
the next day they come on they go to
00:51:28
work or they do this and I'm thinking
00:51:30
how on Earth do these people operate but
00:51:32
they do and yeah and everyone's
00:51:34
different but yeah it'll be interesting
00:51:36
I just know I've got good support around
00:51:38
me absolutely yeah and how's Sam's
00:51:40
mental health been like I can't imagine
00:51:41
it's easy like when you rugby is your
00:51:44
job and you have this limited time
00:51:45
window and then you have these massive
00:51:46
injuries that take you out for an
00:51:48
extinct period of time yeah did he
00:51:50
manage to stay positive through those
00:51:51
times or
00:51:52
uh some dark guys definitely some dark
00:51:55
days his his mental health he's just
00:51:59
really good at um being like getting on
00:52:01
top of it and he's just actually an
00:52:03
inspiration of me because
00:52:05
he's extremely positive and he's really
00:52:09
good at working on things so if
00:52:10
something is you know wrong or
00:52:13
um he feels like he needs to get on top
00:52:14
of he makes sure that he sticks that
00:52:16
there and has a kind of a plan for it
00:52:18
and we've kind of been better at kind of
00:52:22
making good habits and things that kind
00:52:24
of are good for your mental health like
00:52:26
I used to be one of those people who
00:52:27
would watch TV right up until we went to
00:52:30
sleep whereas now it's reading books and
00:52:32
now I've actually grown to really like
00:52:34
reading books before I've got a beard or
00:52:36
just in general well it's quite Charming
00:52:38
isn't it and I suppose if you're looking
00:52:39
at a screen it's almost like a I don't
00:52:41
know it's It's upsetting the dopamine
00:52:43
levels or whatever in your brain yeah
00:52:44
yeah so he's
00:52:46
always been really knowledgeable and
00:52:49
good on that since and
00:52:52
yeah he's just
00:52:54
good with sticking with things like I
00:52:56
mean with rugby he's puts a lot of time
00:52:59
aside for his
00:53:01
um you know stretching or recovery and
00:53:04
all this work that he needs to do
00:53:06
outside of kind of rugby
00:53:09
um is definitely a good support person
00:53:11
and someone that I like to kind of look
00:53:13
up to for sure well thanks for sharing
00:53:15
that about him um because I know that's
00:53:17
her that's his story but then not yours
00:53:19
but it's always nice to pick the brains
00:53:20
of people that um have their mental
00:53:22
health and tip top shape because it's um
00:53:24
I say this to people it's like um you've
00:53:26
got to prioritize that and before you go
00:53:27
to the doctor and get on meds or
00:53:28
whatever yeah try try other things first
00:53:30
like you know try your reading before
00:53:33
bedtime try drinking more water try
00:53:34
drinking less alcohol if you drink too
00:53:36
much yeah cry less screen time
00:53:39
and then if it's no good maybe it is a
00:53:41
chemical imbalance and go and get go and
00:53:43
get go and see your doctor yeah he's
00:53:45
always like even if it's been sick you
00:53:48
know you kind of make up that up that
00:53:50
excuse that oh well I'm sick I need to
00:53:53
be in bed I need a you know just not do
00:53:55
anything for a few days but
00:53:57
I mean yes that's all good and well but
00:53:59
you should also be trying to get outside
00:54:01
and get some vitamin D go for a nice
00:54:03
easy walk because that always makes you
00:54:04
feel better you never regret something
00:54:06
like that yeah 100 and even he is really
00:54:09
good at pushing me with that and he's
00:54:11
just like going to a jog or go and go
00:54:14
outside and have a walk or just kind of
00:54:16
sit outside just for at least 30 minutes
00:54:18
read your book or whatever because it's
00:54:21
that like vitamin D that you need geez
00:54:23
you guys seem like I'm a match man in
00:54:25
heaven such a good couple for each other
00:54:26
imagine how different your life could
00:54:28
have been if you didn't um go over and
00:54:30
and ask if he was single in a bar that
00:54:32
day that's crazy here we are well listen
00:54:34
um I've taken up so much of your time
00:54:35
and you've been so generous and thanks
00:54:37
very much but we'll just end with some
00:54:38
quick fire run questions okay yeah yeah
00:54:40
okay Harry Kane what do you listening to
00:54:41
when you run your music or no you're
00:54:43
going yes I listen to music uh what do I
00:54:46
listen to probably George FM playlist
00:54:49
some big bangers yeah
00:54:52
um I'm really into that kind of music so
00:54:54
yeah I would say that's probably my
00:54:55
go-to I would have picked you to be a
00:54:57
podcast girl like like Jay shitty or
00:54:59
something I don't know some soul food I
00:55:03
do listen to um I'm obsessed with
00:55:06
um crime podcasts so what is it what is
00:55:09
it with women in particular crime
00:55:11
podcasts I'm just so obsessed with it
00:55:13
like I've been I'm always try and search
00:55:16
for Crime podcasts if I'm running you
00:55:18
know if I'm running to I'll be for
00:55:20
enjoyment I'll listen to a podcast
00:55:22
because I'm not because I don't really
00:55:24
have to focus on my run whereas if I'm
00:55:26
going out to push myself it will
00:55:27
definitely be George FM big bangers kind
00:55:29
of stuff like that yeah yeah
00:55:32
um but yeah
00:55:33
those will be my two go-to's what's your
00:55:35
favorite place to run it's like do you
00:55:36
have like a trail near your family farm
00:55:38
or near the house where you live or a
00:55:40
block that you like to do in particular
00:55:42
I usually just try and run from our
00:55:45
house
00:55:45
um we have like a lake D down the road
00:55:47
which is about three K's from here
00:55:49
um so I'll run into the air run around
00:55:51
it which is about three just over 3K
00:55:53
depending on how long I'm going for I'll
00:55:55
go around that a couple times or we've
00:55:56
got to uh walkway just down the road
00:55:58
that goes from Hamilton right towards
00:56:00
narawahia and you can go along the river
00:56:02
those usually might go to so I must say
00:56:04
like we're sitting in your house at the
00:56:06
moment I I've just been thinking the
00:56:07
whole time when I look over your head
00:56:09
out the window what a great place to be
00:56:10
to run you could go for an hour and not
00:56:11
see a car no no that's exactly right
00:56:14
yeah um what's your favorite shoe do you
00:56:15
have like a shoe that you lean towards
00:56:17
or nothing specific ah hooker oh really
00:56:21
hookers yep yeah okay yeah yeah I'm a
00:56:24
big fan of them I've been running on
00:56:25
them for years massive massive Souls
00:56:28
yeah
00:56:28
um not
00:56:30
I mean not the most beautiful shoes it
00:56:32
has to be said
00:56:33
um aesthetically but great if you want
00:56:35
to remain injury-free yes yeah I love
00:56:37
them I've got like a kind of Trail
00:56:40
Runner so it's good for kind of off-road
00:56:42
and trails and stuff like that I can or
00:56:45
if I want to go for a road run it's good
00:56:47
to do that too so it's vice versa kind
00:56:50
of thing you know amazing you might you
00:56:51
might be the youngest person in the
00:56:52
world that's onto the hookers really
00:56:54
yeah that massive massive with um like
00:56:57
middle age Runners and older like if you
00:56:58
go to a big event like say the new
00:57:00
Marathon London Marathon something like
00:57:01
that the amount of people you see like
00:57:03
middle-aged people in hokas it's
00:57:04
phenomenal because they're just so
00:57:06
supportive and so good to remain injury
00:57:07
yeah that's exactly because Sam's got
00:57:10
some as well we've only just got them in
00:57:11
the last like year I used to wear
00:57:14
um Asics and they were good too but
00:57:17
definitely I've Loved doctors yeah and
00:57:20
if the people at hookers are listening
00:57:21
um Sam is a size 12 you can send them to
00:57:23
me and I'll be sure to pass them on
00:57:26
do you prefer to run a loaner with a
00:57:28
crew I probably like to
00:57:30
run with a crew makes it go faster more
00:57:34
enjoyable yeah definitely I think
00:57:37
um summer or winter for running
00:57:39
summer weirdly really yeah I I really
00:57:43
like the heat
00:57:45
um I just feel like you can kind of
00:57:48
push yourself and you feel real good and
00:57:50
the hate um I don't really get it like
00:57:52
getting up in the mornings and it'd be
00:57:54
freezing cold
00:57:56
um because I'm definitely one of those
00:57:57
people who will Chuck thermal on go out
00:58:00
for a run within 10 minutes I'm hot and
00:58:03
then have to take it off and I'm like
00:58:04
why didn't I just leave it at home yeah
00:58:07
um and run as high as that a real thing
00:58:09
or a myth oh well sorry Runners High wow
00:58:13
is it kind of just when you get into
00:58:15
running and it's like um I'm gonna be in
00:58:17
the new Runners loves running kind of
00:58:20
thing no seriously have you ever heard
00:58:22
the term
00:58:24
it's a thing um it's I don't think it's
00:58:27
even been scientifically explained but
00:58:28
if you Google it there'll be millions of
00:58:30
articles on it it's just sometimes when
00:58:32
people run they just get a thing called
00:58:33
a runner's high where you know you might
00:58:35
be feeling in a race and then you
00:58:36
have a few cases where you just let this
00:58:38
Flow State oh it feels easy or then it
00:58:40
can be one of those things where you
00:58:42
feel during the run and then
00:58:43
afterwards you just feel like amazing
00:58:45
yeah for hours afterwards I suppose it's
00:58:47
just like an endorphin high I would say
00:58:51
that's probably that is true yeah
00:58:53
because you weirdly do get like a spark
00:58:55
of energy and I have even like the time
00:58:58
of the day that you run I definitely
00:59:00
feel like I could run for hours in the
00:59:02
evening whereas if I got up in the
00:59:04
morning I would just be it's a real slow
00:59:07
and sluggish and heavy but there has
00:59:10
been been times when you know when you
00:59:12
finish a run and you feel like your legs
00:59:13
could just keep going yeah yeah
00:59:15
it's a great feeling it doesn't it
00:59:16
doesn't happen all the time it happens
00:59:18
hardly ever but when it does yeah it um
00:59:21
keeps you going and makes you want more
00:59:22
and last one hurricane what's your why
00:59:25
when it comes to running why
00:59:27
I love a good challenge so and I love
00:59:30
seeing results so when you run you can
00:59:32
always you know push yourself to become
00:59:35
better and do better and you feel really
00:59:37
good after it that's what I love the
00:59:38
most you never you never regret a run
00:59:41
whereas you may think I'm gonna I've got
00:59:43
a hug I'll go and do a run today I'll
00:59:45
get this run done but actually when you
00:59:48
do it you feel bloody good after and
00:59:50
that's
00:59:50
something that happens every single time
00:59:53
so yeah that's probably definitely my
00:59:55
why what a place to end it yeah hey
00:59:58
thanks so much for your time good luck
01:00:00
for the next few weeks and um hopefully
01:00:02
we see you in a wetsuit and taupo at the
01:00:06
start of an Iron Man in a couple of
01:00:07
years with um Sam pushing a pram
01:00:10
Sam and a prim yeah exactly thanks so
01:00:12
much really nice to spend time with you
01:00:14
yeah thanks Tom it's been a pleasure
01:00:16
thanks very much for listening all the
01:00:17
way through hope you got something out
01:00:18
of that episode with Harriet Kane thank
01:00:20
you very much again to the sponsors of
01:00:22
this week's episode Fisherman's friend
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very much Fisherman's friend and thank
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you especially to you guys for joining
01:00:45
me for this episode of Runners only with
01:00:47
dom Harvey hope to see you next week
01:00:51
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