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[Music] [Music] [Music] and I'm currently in um South Auckland in the what is it despite the spinal
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unit Spinal Rehab unit yeah and spinal Rehabilitation Unit thank you thank you with um a couple of Legends of the
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running community in New Zealand uh Ellie pottinger and Kerry Souther good morning hey dog hi
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so so good to be sitting here with you guys um you know the last couple of years I think have been a dumpster fire
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for most people in New Zealand but it's fair to say it's hard to imagine how
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2022 could be more of a [ __ ] up of a year for anyone than what it's been for
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you guys and it's also hard to imagine that anyone else could be as positive
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and resilient and smile through the [ __ ] I've been through this year you guys are simply inspirational both
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of you thanks Tom um yeah it's sort of a you know give and take year for us isn't it obviously the
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the news of the accident you know managed to fall off my bike and uh break my neck a couple of months ago and um
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it's pretty permanent it's pretty bad so I spend a life in a chair which is
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you know pretty tough but um some good news today yeah so um when Kerry had his accident I was
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seven and a half weeks pregnant after six years of trying um so yeah it's been a bit of a roller
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coaster year for us so far and I guess it'll continue that way congratulations
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you're pregnant yeah I loved on Space right now so I found out just before the accident
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and I topped it off by uh I thought we went to Great Lengths to get out of changing
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okay so um so so the accident was on um 26th of Feb yeah 26 feet now I'm um I'm a fan of
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yours I follow you on Strava give an indication of the sort of guy you are so a week before the accident on Strava you
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can see you you've had like a 17 hour run 60 kilometers uh up up and down a few mountains I rode
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what this enjoy doing was just getting out there and having his mates and going places and um one of
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the weirdly the last thing on my bucket list that I wanted do was that I wanted to go and take off the three volcanoes
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and talking International Park in one push so I just went down there on a Friday with a mate and um ran up with
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opihu and then down to the Chateau and across to tongariro and up now at ahoi and then back to where we started at
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Kino and closed out the loop in 17 hours this sort of stuff you just you know me
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and my mates were doing it a sort of a Summer's missions that's such a cool
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thing to do yeah yeah fun yeah a long long day uh yeah I've had some long days I've done some 30-hour
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missions before and um so this is the thing for me with um spinal injuries like the one you've got I think it'd be
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a massive adjustment and it'd be a hard thing to cope with and deal with for
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anybody but when you're someone like yourself or a brad smailer who's a wakeboarder that I had on the podcast a
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couple of months ago I reckon it's it's got to be even even tougher and the
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respect that here you are you're you're pushing your body to the Limit you're
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using it as it's um supposed to be used you've really bookended physiology
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haven't I have gone from a point where um uh you know incredible Fitness you
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know like resting heart rate of 37 and you know and you just go for a weekend run for 17 hours if that's what you want
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to do and now I'm at a point where I've got no legs and you know I can't I can
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barely move my arms and you know I've lost it's not going to get any better
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I've got no movement or since you know below sort of my armpits so um you know
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it's like you couldn't it couldn't possibly be a different a further a more
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different life for me but um you know I've got to get used to carrying that attitude forward you know like the the
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same the same things that uh that drove me to be you know like a good athlete or
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you know a great coach was you know there's still exist inside me I fell on my head but none of my brains fell out
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you know it's still the same person so um I've got to have the same motivation
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the same outlook on life if I was in your position I I think I'd be in a state of denial for your weeks months
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even years would not be a great place to be or a healthy place to be but you you
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sort of seem to accept it straight away and accepted with quite good humor um the key things are acceptance and
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gratitude I think you've got to accept where where you are and you know it doesn't matter who you are you know you
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really you know you once you once you realize that um perhaps there's a way out of there and
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that you can you can be you can still be the main person that you you were before
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you know what defined me I think was uh you know not uh not my legs or um you know people
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don't love you for your legs they love you for who you are um and so uh so it's still that person and
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I realized very early on that I could still be a running coach and I can still help people and I just love helping
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people and that's what we've been able to do that's my way out of there that
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was a light at the end of the tunnel even when in the darkest moments I remember even then I hadn't
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a conversation with an ICU doctor about whether I was a candidate for assisted suicide you know you know you swing both
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ways with it um oh it's very very hard to at that point I was a hit on a pillow
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you know you can't move you can't move anything even now I can't you know
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you know do anything you know you wonder whether it's worth going on but you know
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the same time you've got so much to live for you know I've got two girls and you know maybe
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one more on the way yeah but I think that's a tricky thing is going to see the way forward like you're
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just in that moment and so that's what you think it is but uh there was a really good Turning Point probably
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three weeks ago when we met um Gareth Lynch who's a real black paralympian and we went over to the gym they train
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in the gym just over there and uh get curiously to guess you know like do hard days because gas is now five
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years down the track from his injury and gas was just he's just like beaming he's
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just this radiant kind of enthusiastic guy and he's like oh yeah and seeing people
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engaging with their Community laughing having fun you know being active was really key for Kerry mentally
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kind of okay there's still stuff to have to aim towards yeah yeah where does where does this come
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from this like Relentless positivity I mean it's such a good attitude yeah my
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dad killed himself when I was very young and uh I think that sort of shapes who you are a lot I think
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sorry um yeah you just sort of realize that uh you've got to start with loving yourself
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first and once you're comfortable with who you are um then you can you follow the capacity
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yeah yeah just highly motivated to uh to get the best best that I can out of my life
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and um yeah help others as well yeah we're all getting a little bit of motion
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far out I didn't think we're gonna do this 10 minutes oh you guys um you guys are a hell of a
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couple I'm guessing when one of you is having a bad day or a negative moment uh
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the other one would step up to the plate and say come on shake it off is that how it works with
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you too yeah there's not a lot of bad days actually when we're together um uh and one of the event directors
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calls I saw the sapphire couple or something yeah we're just like always beaming and always great you know I
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think we just we bounce off each other really well and uh it's a really good
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team I think a good partner is an enabler and I've been thinking about it more lately and it's been It's Tricky
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right because curious become disabled and so how I can enable him in this situation but also it's really important
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still to have fun and laugh and love and so it's trying to bring that balance
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always to our relationship yeah it always says from pretty good I think I just uh this is in the time we've been
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together seven years I think um we've just really grown together really well
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and um you know like a squadron was born out of that now running business um and it's obviously grown as well
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along the way but um I think people are drawn to that positivity as well and um you know we're really quite committed to
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what we do and uh I've lost a little bit of the outlet you know like when you're
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having a bit of a rough day Dom you you can go for a run and you can sort of Shake It Out yeah you know it's a fix
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for problems you know or often doesn't fix a problem but you feel better about
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it yeah you don't just the endorphins and things yeah yeah so I've lost that
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because what's happening now is you're getting on the Upper Limb cycle and
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doing what I can hand signs yeah so what happened with the arms because um you I
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I arrived here just before we started recording and um you know I met you in your chair and you gave me a fist pump
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and I was really surprised it was a that was it was a great sign so so when you after the accident you got taken into
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hospital and you had nothing from the neck down yeah yeah no arms or anything no
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my C5 so they've used C5 and C6 together and my spines have you counting down a
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vertebrae from from really the skull itself I'm down I'm down at sort of C5
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which is my injury um and so that means my spinal cord Works down to C4 and C4 gives you
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shoulders and it gives me biceps but really nothing else so I can move my arms with my biceps only but the
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unfortunate things I have no triceps so my hands just collapse I can't really
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raise my arms above my head or anything so I can sort of flap my arms around like Kermit
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um and uh and you remember you know have you ever watched them singing about rainbows you'd think uh he's not really
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playing that guitar is he um yeah yeah um so yeah sort of a lot like Kumon I think in that regard but uh good to have
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that mobility and again when I say one of the things that acceptance and gratitude I'm grateful for what I have
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because if I had broken my spine just one vertebrae up I wouldn't even have my
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arms so um I'm very lucky to have that so uh it will let me do some hand cycling and
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uh and various other sports which would be good so I'm looking forward to that
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many years to come yeah is it going to improve uh no I measure B which is quite a bad
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bad damage to the spinal column of the connectivity beyond the point of injury so you have sensation below your
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point of injury but no motor right right so I can feel a lot of things um eggplant Emoji a lot of stuff
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oh yeah have you got some uh don't worry about it you've brought it up I can't I
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can't move things below the point of injury right I've got lots of things I
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have sensitivity in so right so every day when I'm doing my bowel cures um yeah I'm 100 uh sensitive to uh to
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those fingers that are in my bum but uh right I don't have any ability to uh to
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squeeze those fingers unfortunately right but okay what's well because obviously the damage is so bad to my
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body um they have to you know put suppositories in me each morning and oh because you've got no cause so you can't
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you can't activate your trunk or nothing and it's not just the muscles it's the
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nervous system as well so um you know the the the the body is is it's in a real State there because it can't I
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can't tell that anything is wrong you know like a I don't even know if I'm
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hungry or full or anything did you want to talk about the accident and the dad happened or not I just went out for a
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bike ride one morning and uh whenever the handlebars Dom have you been over the handlebars of your bike I I I
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um I I live with so much fear um I sort of assess risk so I would never attempt with my friends and I wouldn't I
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wouldn't go you know and do all these down the steps and so what was it can you explain the run or uh amount of bike
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ride I just went for an ordinary bike ride and uh when I've uh I was I was riding an illegal Trail and if I could
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even do a forest um you like everything in my life I'd uh uh you know try and
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level up but always sort of pushing my ability a little bit um and uh so I sort of progressing
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through mountain bike in the last five years and you know trying harder things and biking a little bit harder and um I
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wonder if a feature that was probably about a minute and a half to two meters high and I just didn't get enough run
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those up and uh you know landed you know hard on the front shock and just went over the handlebars and landed on my
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head and not a scratch on my helmet not a scratch on the bike my neck took it all and
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uh yeah just broke a vertebrae lying there looking up at the trees with mates holding my hands and making the right
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phone calls um and uh yeah alligator just um what was you were gone for a swim uh
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going for a run around techie tapu and um right weirdly right when Kerry had his accident I kind of like the morning
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sun was filtering through the trees and I just stopped and I was like oh they're beautiful and I was feeling
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so content with my life and then got back and got ready to get changed for an Open Water Swim so I had my
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um he carries away suit half up my waist and then I got this phone call and I've
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been actually not wanting him to ride that trail yeah I think I read this in an article and stuff or somewhere you
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had you said the day before you were going to do it and you just had a bad feeling about it oh he'd record it he'd
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kind of gone and walked through the trail and had a look at it and I've run it before as well and I was just
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thinking I just don't know about this um and so the week beforehand Kira's
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meant to fly out actually and do 10 days of running on the new Ultra Trail course
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in Kosciusko in Australia and I just said to him you know you've got a lot of
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running coming up ahead this week just like just walk anything that you don't
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feel confident with um yeah I just didn't want him to ride it and um so so then I got back ready for my
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swim got this phone call and it was Ellie Ally I've had an accident and I was going you're joking you're joking I
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thought he was winding me up because I'd been kind of Anna's case a little bit
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about it but also it's so funny isn't it do you think that's like a like a wife's
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intuition thing or I think there was something had intuition as well like you could kind of sit on I didn't really
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sleep the night before and I was kind of thinking about it about that particular jump yeah and then
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I thought it was just focus but if someone said to you this okay you can do this jump there's a one percent chance
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that this accident's gonna happen would you have attempted it still went on because you know we spend a lot of time
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and you go over the accident a million times and it's about all of those sliding door
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moments yeah and um you know you know would you have done it or would you do it differently or you know would you put
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it off for a different bike or a different setup or or any of those sorts of things and um at least a bigger
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picture of you know should we take risks at all and yeah how do I feel about it now I've got kids do I want them you
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know we have trampoline accidents in here leap Park accidents we've got you know people kiwi's just doing what kiwis
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do [Laughter] you know I don't want to wrap the world up in Cotton wool and I wouldn't live
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any differently I arrived at where I am at 44 because took risks and I did stuff
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you know a week before I was on who jumping over icy crevasses you know like climbing down you know Cliff faces with
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scrambling rock my life has replaced with incredibly dangerous probably stupid things but but that's experience
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you know that's what that's what life is for and I'm sorry if you're too shy to
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uh to get the skateboard out tell them I think you're missing out on some stuff here man I would take you for
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a run if I still could I promise we'll go someplace yeah yeah yeah oh man that's such a good attitude such
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a good one yeah I've always said I I feel had I just lost my legs it wouldn't be an issue but take my
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hands I can't use a keyboard or a mouse I can't even flip someone off it's so
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frustrating you can't I can't do anything I can't move my hands I have to
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help them pick his nose because because we're we're sitting here just to set the
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scene like you're sort of um gesticulating you're like you're using your hands but you can't but you can't
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pick your nose no I thought I saw you in your face before scratching I believe I
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have a fully functioning penis but I can't use it it's frustrating we have discussions in
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here would you rather you know yeah some guys have hit their hands and don't
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have any function and in that area right what would you do and then curious It's got sensation in his name
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this podcast is going somewhere not functioning right you can't use his fingers honestly so you can still get an
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erection yes yeah right so okay so you can so sorry for fixating on this so so you can get an erection but you've
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got you've got no feeling in it so you know I have full feelings it's great
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yeah it's no worries but I just can't I haven't got the hands for it well so you
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just can't no manual over right all right got it no yeah got it yeah I can just
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look at it sorry are people running to this I don't know maybe maybe I don't know it's an
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inspirational okay so um yes so very personal information Dom well as we you brought it up oh
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but I think it's actually good whatever this is and um yeah I think it's important because we had no idea
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about spinal cord injuries what to expect no one no one does no kiwi should because they tune them out between
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Christchurch and here there's usually one mountain bike accident at all times
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here there's usually you know three or four motorbike accidents and here there's car accidents there's all sorts
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of tragic stories of just kiwis going about their daily lives yeah and then the summer lots of swimming accidents
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like just diving into the water at the beach oh swimming pools you know watering
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holes waterfalls you name it kiwis like water so um where we are now this has been your
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home for the since the accident happened pretty much yeah you get to go home um in another few weeks um what's that
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going to look like like to have a keg of it I have 24 hours here so um that's the
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level of my injury is a team of five will have around the clock here for me to the end of my days
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yeah just catching up with everyone's really important but you know I really
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want to get back to my job you know like I can yeah I can't use cable to Mouse
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but I can still use a laptop with um voice activation software so so there's athletes that need support
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for various races you know the Sun keeps rising and events are hosted so um they're possum
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um in mid-june so Kerry we've always emceed at different events and yeah we're looking forward to getting back to
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that as well and so sharing that story is also part of that being able to integrate back into the communities that
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we love being part of with yeah and the community loves you guys as well what's that we've met a few athletes on
00:20:04
Finish Lines and start lines yeah yeah yeah and um but I think people love you like
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maybe some love you for your like athletic prowess but I think most of it's your personality and your charm
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which uh hasn't changed no I so I meet you I think for the first time at uh younger Marathon right
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um and you just uh went for it literally what 21k just a half yeah just a half just a little [ __ ] half yeah you know
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that's a beautiful distance I love the way that distance rolls out I think the
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first kilometer you're like oh this pace is hurting me second kilometer you know
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still not sure but by the fifth kilometer you know you settle into it yeah I love the assistance because by
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the 10th kilometer you're like I'm halfway through this I might be able to
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do this and then you get to about 16 and 17 and you're like oh and then you get
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to like 19 and 20 and you pretty much just close your eyes grip your teeth and hang on to the end I just love the way
00:20:53
that the story of 21k rolls out it's such a good distance to race so if I could race one distance over and over
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again it'll be 21ks no no no one no one has never like described a half marathon to me quite
00:21:05
like that intimately I love I love that yeah it's a great distance we've gone to the days of me holding
00:21:10
three and freaking 330k pace yeah I used to go not that it matters now it's very relevant but uh I used to
00:21:19
love the feeling of everyone on tarmac and you can you and you go you're flying along you're
00:21:26
feeling good you know anything on the force is just um I know I'll miss that but uh you know as
00:21:34
a guy in his 40s I was getting ready to yeah yeah um okay I I feel like that's enough
00:21:42
that's enough about the injury and where things are at um we've got so much other stuff to talk
00:21:46
about first of all I want to know how you guys met how did you guys meet each other you see
00:21:49
seven years you've been together I mean you're such an amazing Captain so
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I can't imagine going back eight years and seeing you two yeah it's hard to
00:21:58
imagine YouTube without each other so there's a there's a really neat event
00:22:01
that they're doing national park or the t-42s and it's a total sport event and
00:22:05
Aaron and his team really cool really welcoming um they throw a massive party at the park lodge in natural park and so
00:22:11
I was there that Saturday night and um uh and I just bumped into this this girl on the uh on the dance floor and she
00:22:18
said hey where are you going and um anyway uh one thing led to another and we got chatting and um she said uh you
00:22:25
know what's your name and I said I think you should know I'm quite a big deal and
00:22:28
uh just tongue-in-cheek right look at the top of the results I said that on the on the wall over there are all the
00:22:35
results I think you'll find my names right at the top of the list and um so she loved that and she started chipping
00:22:41
away at me so the first thing she did was um look at someone on a high horse and think about uh how she could bring
00:22:47
them down to ground and after about 10 minutes of her making fun of me I realized how much wood she had an
00:22:53
intellect that goes with it and uh I needed to reverse the conversation and start an introduction and get to know
00:22:58
her better so is that a fair description of how we met yeah pretty much we yeah we kind of ended up I it was just like
00:23:05
this yeah really great connection and we sat down and talked for a couple of hours I think and then
00:23:12
um it just kind of just bonded over over both being sarcastic yeah yeah pretty much exactly that yeah I also love for
00:23:20
an outdoors yeah tramping tramping and you know um how much we just loved you know
00:23:32
staying in huts and being in the hills and the mountains or was it love it love at first sight do you think yeah yeah I
00:23:39
think so yeah because we're like we I couldn't stop we could like we was
00:23:44
chatting for hours that night and um I don't think it's pretty rare you don't
00:23:47
just sort of meet someone and then feel like you really need to chat to them for
00:23:50
hours um but yeah it was uh it was really just off the off the back of her making fun
00:23:55
of me for a while that that I really enjoyed her uh and then nothing's changed actually has it you just no you
00:24:01
still do that don't you yeah yeah well you make fun of me as well as much as I
00:24:05
can maybe yeah it is it is a love language I think yeah not an official one but no the
00:24:12
eighth one love language yeah so here is the one that had the accident and he's in the chair but it's um it's
00:24:19
got to be bloody tough for you as well I mean I hate to use the word victim in front of you guys because I don't think
00:24:27
either of you would ever have like a victim mentality oh no let's be clear I
00:24:31
have two life too yeah yeah so how are you doing and how have you been um it's been
00:24:45
I can't feel anything and um I just went straight around to where the ambulance was going to meet him at
00:24:52
the forest and then Rhys called and Reece was like he he actually lost it crying hysterically just like you're
00:24:59
gonna who's Reese uh one of our really good friends yeah is it current uh men's
00:25:03
champion of the terror ultra marathon yeah like a little love triangle yeah um yeah and so Rhys was with Kerry for
00:25:12
the accident he actually is also the Builder that renovated our house the last year and a half so and he also did
00:25:18
the um Three Peaks run with Curie so all the weekend before yeah oh amazing yeah
00:25:23
really good friends um yeah and he was just hysterically crying saying you're gonna probably go
00:25:29
in there um the rescue helicopter at Auckland with Kerry and so I was just kind of like
00:25:36
crazy like of what have I got on me that I can go um yeah and oversized winter you're
00:25:44
weird yeah and um yeah meet him in the ambulance and that was pretty shocking like to see
00:25:52
they they have an outline of a human and they just had a line from like straight
00:25:57
across his shoulders sort of thing like which I guess obviously indicates that he was paralyzed from there down and and
00:26:04
seeing his color and his temperature and kind of disorientation and that was quite
00:26:12
um confronting and then you just end up in Auckland going like it's like being
00:26:17
picked up by a tornado and then like things that are whirling all around you and you're just going how the hell have
00:26:22
I got here like what is happening I'm trying to make sense of it all and that's Yeah so basically moved to
00:26:31
Auckland um friends brought up our vehicle and clothes for me and all that sort of
00:26:36
stuff and um and then just been yeah with care every day since just you know trying to
00:26:44
meet his needs and be there and support him and also run our businesses and yeah and she's a
00:26:52
superwoman yeah grow a tiny human yeah you're right yeah you're having some
00:26:57
down time you're taking care of yourself not really I I just try and like you
00:27:02
know like everyone says look after yeah but but there isn't that space like I
00:27:08
mean that you have to try and you just try and do what you can do to look after yourself so it's basically trying to eat
00:27:17
decent food drink get whatever sleep you can and and just you know Maslow's hierarchy of needs right like shelter
00:27:25
food all that sort of stuff um so I figure yeah they'll be more more Recreation
00:27:33
time future but not right now yeah yeah geez you got a good one didn't you yeah I'm
00:27:39
very lucky but um hands off Tom so so after the accident I give a little page was set up and um I think this is
00:27:48
remarkable it sees a lot about you guys as people last time I checked it was something like 120 527 000 which is a
00:27:54
lot of money but the thing that got me it's that was donated by 1420 people so
00:28:00
it was not someone coming in with a big lump sum that was like a whole lot of little donations that's a that's a lot
00:28:05
of people who obviously have um some sort of connection or some sort of feeling towards you guys which is
00:28:12
hugely humbling we were really Blown Away by you know when Ellie came and saw me in ICU she said um you know there's
00:28:18
twenty seven thousand dollars and I give a little page how have we influenced that many
00:28:22
people's lives lines you know like if you think about Dom that all the passing
00:28:25
interactions you've had with other human are enough of them positive that um
00:28:30
but don't I remember Dom I'd like to do something we're talking thousands of people that
00:28:35
were yeah I didn't even know that was possible you know through our business
00:28:38
we have obviously a lot of interactions with people many thousands of of athletes that we've coached in the last
00:28:43
six years but um you think you're just a small Cog in the system you know like
00:28:47
you stand on a Finish Line you cheer athletes in um you know you help athletes achieve
00:28:51
their um you know their running goals or those sorts of things but you never really think you know we've treated them
00:28:56
like humans and as friends and you know with kindness and with love and compassion but you never expected to
00:29:03
come back um and you know you mentioned that give it all that's just the New Zealand one
00:29:07
we've got one in Australia as well and um again the outpouring of support there
00:29:12
has been overwhelming watching videos of people you know raise money they did a a
00:29:17
virtual event a couple of weeks ago and um you know everyone got out and they they ran they went and got groups of
00:29:24
people together and they ran and to support us and uh it's a I don't even
00:29:30
know where to begin with it you know you think even if you think about imagine your own funeral people do someone's
00:29:35
reading a eulogy how many people in the room is it is it thousands Dom do you think there's thousands of people want
00:29:40
to see you off I can't believe how many people have supported us yeah um getting money out of people it's a
00:29:46
hard thing as well no it really is it's one of the house like it's easy to write
00:29:51
a comment on Facebook like oh Kerry get well soon but to take that next step and
00:29:55
donate money to someone that you've had a brush with we never asked for it either you know like um it's not we
00:30:01
didn't set it up it was some one of our athletes did and and you know like maybe
00:30:06
a small post somewhere I don't really know but when they they said that they
00:30:09
wanted to start one and I was like no no just donate money to the first response
00:30:14
in the forest they helped Kerry or Westpac rescue helicopter or something like that like we don't need it
00:30:20
um but then in hindsight it's been amazing because there is you know like there is support via um ACC and the dhbs
00:30:29
and stuff but like I've probably spent over ten thousand on accommodation and
00:30:35
that is hopefully going to be reimbursed but it hasn't yet and also Like New
00:30:40
clothing for Kerry because you you can't wear things with pockets underneath like
00:30:45
cause a precious sore I said so yeah I wouldn't think of anything like that but
00:30:50
where you go up a size in your Footwear what you guys have a size on your why because of you know blood pooling and
00:30:57
the potential for precious sores I can't move my feet blood comes back so everything pulls down there yeah and and
00:31:03
one of the other downsides to the injury is um I'm always freezing cold now so
00:31:07
even you know you're on a t-shirt I'm in two layers and I'm considering a third
00:31:12
um some people have the opposite so so your nervous system controls all of these things and that's being disrupted
00:31:18
so um yes people with spinal cords present a lot injuries present in a lot of different ways and for Kerry he was
00:31:25
freezing so I've gone out and bought puffered jackets and blankets and you know beanies and even a snood or much to
00:31:32
my desk it's like a a scarf tube this sounds sounds cozy it doesn't look great
00:31:43
I'm very happy when you see me in a smooth yeah and a woman beanie that's uh
00:31:48
in the middle of the Auckland Sun yeah yeah it's warm here today yeah 22 or 23
00:31:54
and he's runned up like he's an Antarctica so I mean is that money gonna
00:31:59
go fat what do you do with it you build a ramp at home or is that paid for our um the rehab that I have to do out
00:32:05
of here not a lot of it's really supported by ACC they do obviously bits and pieces
00:32:10
with physios and the like but um you know to see a neurophysio and and get hooked up to machines that might
00:32:16
actually help me get some of my muscles back we're talking four thousand dollars a
00:32:20
month so yeah potentially depending where we go so we want to and you know like technology evolves
00:32:30
with money available will mean that we can just go yeah we want to give this a crack while we can so
00:32:36
um that is that is yeah really good and I mean there's lots of earnings as well
00:32:40
for like on on my behalf and ACC pay 80 of Kerry's salary which is amazing so
00:32:45
how long do you how long do you get the 80 for admiring unless he changes his workload like you
00:32:54
know maybe so there is we didn't talk about that really before but there is potential for surgeries for Kerry so
00:33:00
nerve transfer surgery because there's two so when you if you hold your fist
00:33:05
out in front of you and then you rotate it so that your palm is facing up yeah there are two nerves that control that
00:33:11
movement and they can take the one from the inside move it to the the you know the top of your arm and then that will
00:33:19
create an open and close of the fingers so you could end up with a you know a clinch graph right and masturbation it's
00:33:27
great it's looking pretty good okay that four inches won't be lonely for
00:33:33
long dogs oh wow geez we live in a good country don't we like to have the health care
00:33:42
that we've got and the support systems and place that we've got where yeah the
00:33:45
surgery that we get is amazing yeah so I can potentially get some other surgery I
00:33:49
call Troy's surgery where they move a um a muscle from my shoulder and it'll do
00:33:54
the job of my triceps a little bit so I won't punch myself in the face when I
00:33:59
got to scratch my nose or anything like that so yeah have you found like for YouTube being um being like old
00:34:06
translates and being super fat and I suppose having that runner's mentality where you put one foot in front of the
00:34:11
other is um has that sort of helped do you think yeah definitely so you've run
00:34:17
you've run marathons obviously and you know what it's like at 35 kilometers
00:34:21
when you're like this is a bad place to be this is um that's where I live you know so um at
00:34:28
the moment oh that's where that's where I exist forever right there's kind of
00:34:31
like there's no because there's no way out of us this is the worst that it
00:34:34
could be right so it's not that early part of the race where you're feeling
00:34:37
great the body's moving fine and you you think the PBS today um and it's not that bit when you're
00:34:42
near the finish line and you realize you know I'm going to make it this is great
00:34:44
you know I'm going to get there I'm stuck in the [ __ ] bit so um I'm in a
00:34:48
giant turd pile with a tiny shovel and um and I've got nothing there's nothing
00:34:52
to do but smile about it right attitude's the only thing you've got so you know in those spots when you are
00:34:56
suffering the most you know the best thing that you can do is go calm yourself be centered and realize that
00:35:01
you've done the work and um you know you've got to have a good positive outlook you know otherwise you're going
00:35:06
to derail your rates just slow down you lose momentum um and their PB will sneak
00:35:10
away so yeah I think running has really set me up well for this it's an ultra marathon that you know I'm
00:35:16
in that I'm for those that have run Saturday 100K I'm stuck on West no Katana and in the middle of the night
00:35:21
spewing in the bushes and um and it's never going to be better than that so yeah it's the middle of the night and
00:35:27
you're spewing in the bush but you're still doing it with a smile on your face
00:35:29
that's all you can do and Ultra Runners know this right you're laughing whilst
00:35:33
you're having this terrible experience you know you never chafe so bad in your
00:35:36
life and uh and yeah this is uh this is well I'm starting to not dress up ultra
00:35:41
marathon very well but uh come try it out it's a lot of fun okay so um so let's do our squad run so you guys you
00:35:49
guys meet you got together and then um when was some Squadron born pretty much in that moment you know it was um
00:35:56
what were you doing before that I was uh uh network security analyst so um I would I work in
00:36:03
big International clients to uh keep the bad guys out um so that was fun and that was a
00:36:10
long-standing it career and it it paid very well but it had a very beige existence you know right it wasn't very
00:36:15
fulfilling so um I think Squadron started I figured I figured out a system for coaching
00:36:22
scalable method of supporting athletes without charging them too much money and um and I put it to the tarawera group
00:36:31
and uh a lot of athletes immediately jumped on board and I realized that you know I had something here I had a way of
00:36:36
helping lots of people and that's I think the founding thought behind Squadron is how how can I help more
00:36:44
people because most running coaches you know are in the laborious task of you know helping a handful of
00:36:51
privately coached athletes and um you know you can handle 20 maybe 30 of those athletes before the book's full and I
00:36:57
was like that's not acceptable there are more people than that that need support
00:37:00
and I must find a way to do it and so Squadron was born out of that and um that was six years ago and uh we sort
00:37:07
of started working with some of the bigger events like Old Trail Australia and now Ultra Trail costusko Queenstown
00:37:12
Marathon um and just helping as many athletes as we can and uh it's been I think
00:37:20
three to four thousand athletes we've worked with in the last six years and and you know they're not just
00:37:25
numbers to us these people you know we know the name of the dogs you know they're they're welcome in our homes so
00:37:32
they're friends which is reflected and I guess they give a little which you've
00:37:35
talked about before um you know we're really committed in their lives we're there at the Finish
00:37:39
Lines of the major you know even events that we don't have heaps of athletes out
00:37:43
we want to be there see people finish and have that experience um and I don't know why other coaches
00:37:49
aren't you know like you very really I know running coaches why aren't they at events that's payday
00:37:56
that's when you see your athlete do the thing forget the money they've paid you
00:37:59
see their smile on the Finish Line watch them cry when they achieve the thing that they didn't believe they could do
00:38:05
only you did um it's a special moment for us and uh I think you know having had have helped
00:38:11
thousands of people it's been um you know really special to be part of Squadron and uh you're definitely not
00:38:17
going to let that go and uh you know I want to get back on those tools as soon as possible God you are so much passion
00:38:23
now you can just hear it I'll tell you what a funny thing I've I've had another
00:38:25
guy on the podcast um Barry McGee who won a bronze medal at the 90s 1960 Rome Olympics so he's uh he's in his late 80s
00:38:32
now charges people something like oh five dollars a month I think to do their programs and he then he goes out and
00:38:38
watches them race and he gets he gets satisfaction out of it because it's like
00:38:42
they're almost living vicariously I guess through his athletes yeah absolutely as an athlete myself
00:38:49
um you know I was competitive and I tried really hard and you know achieved lots of things I won staff as it was
00:38:54
records and all the stuff that an athlete could be really proud of and you know have all the trophies in the pool
00:39:00
room but um weirdly when I became a running coach I realized that it wasn't just My
00:39:04
Success that mattered it was other people's success so rather than having that one moment where you cross the
00:39:08
finish line stop your watch and see what you've achieved you can stand on that
00:39:12
finish line and see what hundreds of people have achieved and you have those same those same moments that same
00:39:18
sensation when you know you've gifted that to someone else so um you know it's
00:39:22
just it's it's way more rewarding to be a running coach in that scenario than to
00:39:26
be the athlete themselves and so barriers epitomizes that and I know some of us athletes and and they speak very
00:39:31
highly of him in that and that that nominal charge is just so you know you've got to have some skin in the game
00:39:36
right The Athlete's got some skin in the game and the coach has got to ask them
00:39:39
yes yeah so that's kind of why Spiderman is sort of set up at that sort of you
00:39:43
know very low price price point to help you know help athletes that wouldn't
00:39:46
otherwise want to invest 40 or 50 bucks a week in a private running coach yeah how much is it we'll get some plugs in
00:39:53
here for squadron oh I know what are we like 15 bucks yeah 15 plus GST yeah yeah and so we'll give them a tailored
00:40:01
running program and it's Unique to them and specific to the event and uh we provide all the support for it so you
00:40:07
know obviously with coaching you know people think it's a running plan and that's that's all that that coaching is
00:40:11
but it's so much more than that because you know the athletes need to know you
00:40:14
know when you're talking about an ultra then into all the details about um you know you're fueling and hydration
00:40:20
and understanding the course and executing a good run you know there's a psychology of it that really matters
00:40:26
it's all the little things that go with it as well the whole holistic thing yeah
00:40:29
yeah I mean you've written some great articles online there's actually one one
00:40:31
that you wrote about a year ago about um yeah mine's here yes and it's like I
00:40:35
thought it's so applicable to the situation you're in now like it's transferable yeah that um there's a
00:40:42
fascinating meta-analysis of a lot of the research they do on the psychology of running the um I think it's a
00:40:50
psychological determinants of whole body endurance performance and um and in that
00:40:54
that breakdown are many of the different research papers that have been done on the psychology of endurance athletes and
00:40:59
and it is absolutely applicable to this situation there are three key things that came from and one of them is to
00:41:05
have a mantra right to to be able to repeat yourself in this situation I say what can I do today what is it I can do
00:41:10
today so how can I progress with my purpose so what is it I can do today and my brother gave me that mantra that
00:41:16
helped um there's um positive imagery right so um surrounding yourself with you know um just simply a
00:41:24
smiling face on the side of a Marathon course we'll cheer you up you know someone
00:41:30
cheering you on it makes a difference you know if I put you on a treadmill told you to run as fast as you could you
00:41:35
would actually run faster if there were people cheering you on if I revealed a curtain and there was all your family
00:41:39
and friends and a small grandstand cheering you on you could go harder and faster and so we know that so um again
00:41:45
having that positive energy around you having obviously people like Ali but even photos on the wall
00:41:50
family and friends so that positive imagery is really important as well and the other one is goal setting so um
00:41:56
athletes need to be able to set goals and not just major goals like I want to break 120 half marathon it could be I
00:42:03
went on strong to the next aid station right so I'm going to think about my form and body position and you know like
00:42:08
all the things that I know are important my Cadence and my breathing or whatever
00:42:11
it might be um and so you set that small goal you reach that aid station and you've got to achieve that goal I got
00:42:17
some success from that I feel good now set a new goal I'm going to run well to
00:42:20
the top of that Hill up there so even just goal sitting at that level is really useful right and you can see how
00:42:25
that's obviously transferable to my current situation as well what is it I can do in the gym
00:42:29
can I do 45 minutes on the apple and cycle like can I spend an hour on my manual chair today you know like those
00:42:35
sorts of goals you can break your life down into setting goals and achieving them the same way as squirrel gathers
00:42:40
nuts for the winter it's one little nut at a time and you set those goals and
00:42:43
you can achieve great things and it ends up being hundreds of nuts stored for the
00:42:47
winter wow there's so many good takeaways here everyone deals with with their own degree of [ __ ] at some point
00:42:52
in their life like most people won't deal with the degree of [ __ ] that you're
00:42:55
dealing with right now but so many good takeaways from this so many things that any person can apply to their own life
00:43:01
yeah look I don't want to discredit depression we have a major problem with team suicide and mental health in New
00:43:07
Zealand and you know there's a lot of people everyone's going through something or
00:43:11
has been through something but um look if you've had a tough day on social media and um
00:43:17
things aren't going so great for you and the black dogs come to visit please
00:43:20
frame your depression with what I'm going through you know look what other people are going through as well because
00:43:25
it might just help to understand that everyone's going through something and
00:43:28
and many people are going through something worse yeah well the funny thing is you mentioned Brett um he was a
00:43:33
wakeboarder that had an accident and landed on a ramp about seven years ago he would give anything to have the arm
00:43:40
movement that you've got he would look at you with so much Envy it's the thing
00:43:45
it's a tough it's easy to do here comparison is a thief of Joy isn't it
00:43:48
wouldn't you like discover 70 minutes for a for a half marathon or 65 minutes
00:43:52
for a half marathon right you beat yourself up these days I'll do anything for someone 30. yeah yeah you try so
00:43:58
hard and yeah in general we succeed but fail is part of the process storm you know you failed the first time you tried
00:44:03
to walk you know you failed a talking for many years you failed the first time you tried to ride your bike you know
00:44:08
like I felt the first time I tried to ride my bike and the last time I tried to ride my ride my bike which is rather
00:44:13
ironic but [Laughter] failure is part of the process right and uh you know you have to be okay with that that's
00:44:24
that's important part of it you know and and seeing and not being able not comparing yourself to others I look in
00:44:29
the gym here and there's people that are standing up and walking around and you
00:44:33
know I'm really happy with them but [ __ ] annoys me to see their you know their success when I I know that's not
00:44:38
for me that'll never be me so um uh if there's that be happy with who you are
00:44:42
and Achieve what you can for a fat I.T guy I did an incredible job you know cobbling together a running career and
00:44:49
then learning a lot about running and did you say fat I think like we have a fat I was important
00:44:54
he wasn't that bad all right by my own measure yeah 25 kilos less now yeah when are you when
00:45:03
are you writing a book has anyone approached you you've um no I don't you
00:45:08
you've got some what no this has been really actually this has been really liberating for my ego but even
00:45:13
previously um you know I didn't I never was in a situation where I felt like um
00:45:18
I'm okay with my immortality I've got a story to tell but um no one needs to
00:45:22
hear it life is um life's full of fun or interesting people than me uh this is no I don't know by no measure
00:45:30
would I like to I don't like being in a spotlight as much I make a lot of noise I can hold a
00:45:35
microphone and talk in front of thousands of people Tom you're probably familiar with this but actually you
00:45:39
actually don't necessarily always want to be the center of a teacher and life
00:45:43
doesn't have to be about you okay never enough I feel like um your your story
00:45:47
and your perspective and your outlook it could um be helpful to other people so not just a not just like a an ego
00:45:53
boost thing I'm caring this is my story but it's like just the way that you
00:45:57
frame things it could be so helpful to other people I would actually like to see him like probably a month or so ago
00:46:04
I'd send to some friends I'd really like to see Kerry going to schools and talk
00:46:08
to kids because I think there's a lot of learning to be had in our community
00:46:12
about spinal cord injuries and also you know mindset and um how to successfully land a good jump
00:46:19
oh yeah yeah yeah well no you're not the guy for that guy I succeeded sometimes
00:46:25
before I failed as well yeah yeah I look I like helping people but um you know really my focus is on how do I help
00:46:34
Ordinary People achieve real people achieve extraordinary things um this is one of the cool things about
00:46:41
you know running is it's not an exclusive sport you know we welcome everyone yes and uh particularly in
00:46:47
trail running it's like incredibly welcoming you know and Squadron was never built around how do we help the
00:46:52
top tendency to people we help you know 80 of the people Kerry thought all the people that took their [ __ ]
00:47:02
super seriously paying him for running coaching and it ended up being people like me that are just you know like
00:47:10
mid-pack want to know how to do it right and get support um so I mean we coach the whole Spectrum
00:47:18
right like we've coached the Winner's probably the very last finisher and that
00:47:23
was I think a bit of a shock for you right when we started was but these people you know
00:47:28
for 100k and now they're currently running five to ten K's like how the heck are we going to get them there
00:47:36
um but and that but that's also where the beauty is you know like seeing these
00:47:41
people that have such huge progressions or that have a lot of you know just real
00:47:47
lives doing these really cool things and being there to share that moment at the
00:47:52
finish line is is really special you just see that rawness and emotion and know this story and it's a really big
00:48:00
reward God you guys both really do care don't you if someone's listening to this
00:48:04
that's like a non-runner that is maybe like contemplating during their first
00:48:07
half or 10K or whatever um would Squadron be for them start by building some Foundation I
00:48:12
think before you before you take on a running program just uh you know do you want to know you can paddle out
00:48:18
before you swim so running I started I couldn't run two k's um and uh and that that was really the
00:48:26
the goal was to see if I could get up to running 2ks at a time and then I sort of
00:48:30
set myself to a goal to try and do it for 100 days and then at the end of that um you know a little bit of Fitness came
00:48:36
on so um I would say if you if you aren't a runner and you're considering
00:48:40
you know you'd love to be a runner is get out you know to find the the old lawn mowing shoe to
00:48:45
start with and and get out there and it doesn't have to be a run it doesn't have
00:48:49
to be fancy it can be walking breaks it can be mostly walking it could be periods of jogging but don't set the
00:48:54
goal too high you know the 2K Hood run around the block is is all that it takes to get going
00:49:00
um it takes patience and consistency it doesn't take Natural talent I would I
00:49:05
would hate to see um people think that they aren't able to do something because
00:49:09
they don't have the right genes for it or they're maybe too heavy or you're
00:49:13
worried what other people are going to think um you know there's two there's two types
00:49:17
of people that see you running there's there's Runners that see you running no
00:49:22
matter who you are running awkwardly down the road and they're supportive and
00:49:24
they're like look at that person running they're doing a great job and then
00:49:28
there's those other people that don't think climbing off you and you know what
00:49:30
go [ __ ] those people you're not they're not there to support you who cares right
00:49:35
I sort of think um because a lot of people are very self-conscious whether it's going to the gym or whether it's
00:49:39
running and you worry about what other people think when you realize that every single person to a degree is worried
00:49:44
about whatever I'm thinks and you realize they're just thinking about themselves and they're not actually
00:49:47
thinking about you all that much you can just get on with things yeah but I do agree with what you're saying the people
00:49:52
that those that small portion of people that do think unkindly or say mean things yeah [ __ ] them yeah who cares
00:49:57
yeah here's what they think they're not a part of your life you're out there doing it that's right
00:50:01
and it's the same look I'm in a chair and I'm in a powered chair and you can
00:50:05
I'm sorry listeners this is a large bit of Machinery that I can operate with um
00:50:09
a wrist basically and uh it looks ungainly it's not I'm not disabled like
00:50:14
an ordinary manual wheelchair I'm in sort of you know some big it's a big
00:50:18
black heavy battery-powered machine and um I look disabled you know like this is
00:50:24
this is serious um and and I take it out in public and uh do I care what other people think of
00:50:30
when they see this thing no I don't I choose not to let that get to me if I felt like that I would never go outside
00:50:35
so um I'm just not gonna let it I'm going to let other people opinion of me holding back and it
00:50:40
shouldn't no matter what you're doing you know yeah well I mean with with you
00:50:43
when you approach people I suppose they'll notice the chair first but then as soon as you open your mouth and speak
00:50:48
your personality is big enough that you sort of forget about the chair the chair
00:50:52
becomes invisible and I realized that was the only time I felt you know I feel really normal is when I'm just in
00:50:57
conversation with someone else when they realize that I'm still the same human
00:51:00
being and we have the same chats you know when I've been able to catch up with mates yeah there's nothing when I'm
00:51:05
online on Discord or whatever gender friends um and I'm still the same person I'm
00:51:09
sort of the same voice to the same sense of humor still the same deck bag that I
00:51:13
was before but with this is one thing that I've learned actually is that people that
00:51:19
have had a disability forced upon them are the probably the most bravest and resilient and determined people that
00:51:26
you'll meet so how do you mean just because that had to be yeah they've had
00:51:29
to be they've got through bloody most [ __ ] situation that you can probably
00:51:33
think of and they've shown up day after day giving it their best and somehow
00:51:38
managed to carry on living their lives and like when you see them you should just go man that person must be freaking
00:51:46
tough to be living their life in that situation sorry if I made it look easy this is [ __ ] hard this is
00:51:54
you do make it look easy I mean but but I'm I'm here with you the I suppose that
00:52:00
the admin of the morning's done like you've had your bowels cleared you've
00:52:03
had someone dress you you're wearing a cool pair of wool all birds you've got a
00:52:08
ultra marathon hat on yep you just look like a cool dude in a chair but I I I I haven't seen the hard work or the hours
00:52:14
that it took this morning to get to get to this point yeah it's two hours to get
00:52:18
uh in two to three hours so yeah it's a lot of work um any problem and a frustrating
00:52:24
Reliance on other end you know just wanted to be in charge of his own life and so that's
00:52:36
been a real hard pill to swallow with while I was going you know like I I need people to help me each day and I'm
00:52:43
reliant on them and their time frames yeah actually um your bread smell of the weight water he said a similar thing to
00:52:48
me heck he's an A type personality you know perfectionist like things done a
00:52:52
certain way and now he's got these um caregivers who he he described as being
00:52:56
woefully underpaid and they can't they can't always get things done the meticulous way he likes them done are
00:53:03
you gonna be okay with it oh yeah if you want to see frustration you um you give
00:53:07
someone with add a spinal cord injury because uh yeah Brad's probably a lot like me is very jittery and wants to do
00:53:13
things all the time so um yeah you're in a better inability to do things Western
00:53:16
Union [ __ ] I've got arms but no hands right so I can't actually do anything
00:53:20
and I describe Ali doesn't like it I describe as sort of like a ghost you know if you've imagined what it's like
00:53:25
to be a ghost you could be in a room and you can interact but you can't you you
00:53:29
can't actually physically do anything and uh you know I just I sit in a chair
00:53:33
and I I think about how great it would be if I could put it put a t-shirt on or or take a t-shirt off you know like I
00:53:37
put my shoes on or off or you know pull a weed or do anything I can't interact
00:53:42
with the world in any way I can't operate a TV remote you know like um you know I exist but I you know I can talk
00:53:48
but I can't do much else and but that's that interaction is actually so vital
00:53:53
like if you see Kerry in the dining room here he's holding court with the other
00:53:56
guys and you know entertaining them and also cheering them on and sharing the highs and the lows and so he still has a
00:54:05
lot of power but it's just such a physical power why don't you like the um description where he calls
00:54:11
himself a ghost um because he'll have no hand I have no legs and I'm like
00:54:17
you still have hands and legs like I feel like he still needs to really um appreciate and recognize that those
00:54:25
parts of his body because they've given him so much over the years and keep that
00:54:30
you know the thought and connection there just in case we can get whatever we can back so I just think you know
00:54:36
there's there is potential for neuroplasticity and the power of the mind and keeping engaged with them
00:54:44
rather than kind of becoming disenfranchised to this part of your body that's not cooperating how you want
00:54:50
it to uh I was just wiping his eyes you're right have you had a day so far that
00:54:56
you've been in here that you haven't cried oh good question uh no I don't most days I think I get
00:55:03
through uh some days are hard just you don't you don't know why you know like that's the
00:55:08
Human Condition isn't it some days you wake up and you just for some reason you're halfway
00:55:12
through a [ __ ] sandwich and you don't know why so uh I know most days I'm pretty good if I
00:55:18
can you know think about no it's the other around actually I think it's the bad thoughts are like
00:55:25
leaves in a stream you know like you think about one [ __ ] thing like I can't
00:55:29
even roll over a bed and then you think about another [ __ ] thing it's like ah I
00:55:32
would like to do something about the heat pump in here but I can't push a button and you think about how
00:55:38
depressing it might be that I can't you know I'm going to have a baby but I
00:55:40
can't hold it you know if you let all those leaves build up you'll block the
00:55:43
stream and then when you get that that situation you cause a flood and that and that's when you have it that you stuck
00:55:48
in a a negative Loop there so I think I try to acknowledge that there's a bad thought but don't chase it
00:55:56
and don't add to it to it and then you know immediately try and pivot to finding some positive you
00:56:01
know Outlook like what can I do today and what have I got coming up today and uh you know what's the progress what's
00:56:06
my purpose where will I be in two years time those sort of things you're finding finding the positive
00:56:12
approach to to not focus on the bad thoughts have you been seeing a therapist or anyone they
00:56:18
provide them here but actually last few times I've said we're good if you want
00:56:22
to talk about tying shoelaces um yeah have you seen a therapist in your life not prior to being here no
00:56:32
it's quite funny because like some of the stuff you see I've I've seen
00:56:36
therapists over the years and it's like some of the stuff that you were saying
00:56:38
it's like you just instinctively know it and that's um stuff you've been taught
00:56:41
like a therapist said to me if you find yourself having negative thoughts or bad
00:56:44
thoughts you know catch yourself and say is this helpful and then if it's not
00:56:48
then flush it away so it's almost like you just instinctively know this stuff which is
00:56:53
why you got to write that book oh they don't suffer with them yeah it's it's funny I never really um I
00:57:05
understood a lot of people did suffer mental health prior to this and uh you know I appreciate the problems that
00:57:10
they're going through and and really feel for them but uh realize at the same
00:57:13
time you know you have that little voice in the back to choose to be happy and you know which shows that shows a
00:57:21
complete lack of of understanding of the scenario because that's always been my
00:57:24
way out of it's like I just well I just choose to be happy but maybe I'm too
00:57:28
dumb and that I don't that I don't get caught up on those things I don't I
00:57:32
don't know man I don't know like I think there are there are people that have um
00:57:35
like clinical depression and there's like an imbalance in their brain that needs medication to help but for I mean
00:57:41
if everyone else um you know there's physical health and there's mental health and uh you've got to do
00:57:46
everything you can for your own mental health like if you're feeling bad like
00:57:49
drink more water or eat better food or yeah get more sleep or cut back on the alcohol but I do everything you can
00:57:56
prioritize that [ __ ] and then if it's still no good then go and see a doctor
00:58:00
you know I was lucky to have well as I said lucky to have um psychological support here um which
00:58:07
obviously is very well needed and I see a lot of the patients really Acquired and really
00:58:13
I mean I certainly did in the first few weeks and uh you know I remember just balling for you know an hour at a time
00:58:18
so that they're boiling for an hour at a time was that just like I suppose like
00:58:23
morning yeah it's grieving yeah absolutely yeah yep yep it's a it's a loss of a life you
00:58:28
know I miss my old life I had a perfect existence I felt like I was you know we would coach for 10 to 12 hours a day but
00:58:35
you know um sometimes and uh well there's a lot more than that less than that it used to be
00:58:42
it used to be diabolical we used to let the work really inundate us and we would
00:58:46
often be coaching until 10 pm at night to close the laptop and go to bed but um my life was I would say perfect I never
00:58:53
felt like I needed to change anything so I felt like at 44 I'd finally arrived
00:58:57
and uh and then I guess some greater power decided that I needed to change direction in a serious way and learn
00:59:04
something else about life so yeah Kerry had been worried on like before with the pregnancy that this baby
00:59:12
was going to mess up our life that it was just a major change and um it was quite
00:59:21
um yeah yeah I've got some compounding issues here so cumulatively difficult now are
00:59:29
you going to get enough of um an adrenaline kick out of um yeah coaching people and then seeing them you know
00:59:35
smash their goals or see them at the finish line is that going to be enough of an adrenaline kick for you yeah yeah
00:59:39
I'll need to find my own Outlet as well yeah so in in on top of obviously the
00:59:44
coaching I'm going to need I'm going to need my own thing whatever that is and I
00:59:47
haven't worked out what that is yet I uh I don't know whether I'm going to try
00:59:50
wheelchair rugby or you know recumbent Cycles or um you know I'm going to need
00:59:55
some sort of you know physical Outlet to do the sense of movement and adventure and
01:00:05
I think you know like in this situation he can still have that and I think I made the physios and doctor's eyes
01:00:13
Boggle and I think Kerry's always been an athlete I expect that to continue because I'm kind of like oh well you
01:00:19
know that it's true like I expect that he'll find a way to to still be out
01:00:24
there moving and to be engaging with nature it will be in a different way to what it was
01:00:31
um mountain tops will be a bit harder now but um I still think that yeah whether it's
01:00:37
you know adapted kayaking or adapted biking or something like that maybe learning to swim again we'll see we'll
01:00:45
find out but I don't doubt for a second that he's just gonna sit there doing
01:00:49
that thing yeah oh I I fully fully agree it's just not you no I've just got to
01:00:55
find a way it's good it's kind of been a hard time watching the muscle atrophy as
01:00:58
well you know like going through this process just seeing you know leads to work for 20 years just sort of slowly
01:01:03
melt away and uh has that happened already oh God yeah absolutely yeah it's very fast so three months oh easily gone
01:01:11
well and truly gone in that time so about I've gone down about what is it 10
01:01:15
of my body weight again and um I thought this might be a might be I don't know if
01:01:19
this is a dumb question or a sensitive question but um when you dream are you are you still able right questions this
01:01:26
is a great question so I I still dream that I can walk but I know that I'm you
01:01:33
know know that I'm not a walker so in the dream of it you know like I'll get
01:01:36
up and walk around the place and it was like that's so great you're walking and
01:01:39
I'm like yeah I really shouldn't be because I'm disabled um so I still dream
01:01:42
in Walking which is kind of weird but I know it's uh I know I shouldn't yeah
01:01:46
that was quite a weird thing for me oh God you're gonna make me cry um was like
01:01:51
going when does it change because like in my dreams he was moving and then I think maybe a couple weeks then I had a
01:01:58
dream that he was like lying in a bed and he couldn't go into a room because
01:02:02
of the covert risk so he was outside on this bed with a mask and I was like oh this is maybe this is the start of me
01:02:08
accepting this situation and now I think he is I don't know what he is in my
01:02:15
dreams now I think it is you know his disability is there but it did like there was some quite confronting dreams
01:02:22
that you'd wake up from and just be like brutal are you both such an amazing couple
01:02:28
you really are I'm so pleased you've got each other yeah you've got me crying
01:02:33
yeah yeah that's a [ __ ] thing you're going through but you know if anyone can handle it I reckon you can
01:02:40
mate yeah yeah it's always just word you say you say you couldn't handle it but I suppose if you're in
01:02:51
that situation it's like well there's two options hey just handle it or take
01:02:55
the other way out yeah I have a lot to come to terms I've lost Decades of my life
01:03:01
now I'm connected baby how old would that baby be when I'm not I don't know what to say
01:03:20
I suppose you just make as much of an impact while you while you can and um and I know I know you will
01:03:28
but you can be an incredible dad all right like however many years here it's you know and uh
01:03:39
that's going right you know like nothing is guaranteed we've found that out the
01:03:44
hard way is that you know you think you have your life planned out and it's it's
01:03:48
not you can get through on a massive curveball so it's just going you know that old cliche of taking it as it comes
01:03:56
and making the most of it and and bringing that love and laughter to your days and that focus and purpose and
01:04:03
passion as well because that's what we've got in Leaps and Bounds and that's
01:04:07
what we have filled our days with and we'll continue to fill our days with just
01:04:13
um yeah kind of writing out the storm is because Well mine's an injury that moves me back
01:04:18
towards life that's true yeah and if things things were different yeah you may have never
01:04:23
got to meet your daughter that's right yeah well I'm hoping it's a standoff oh really yeah
01:04:33
which I love very much how many how old are you girls 10 and 12 yeah and they're
01:04:38
great kids they are um a very you know smart and loving and caring and uh you know they're going through this as well
01:04:45
this is hard for them they've been up a few times a visit and see them and spend time in
01:04:52
time and they're a big focus on my future as well and uh how can I continue to you know be their dad as well nothing
01:04:58
changes there I think if you're a father you just want to you just want to Dad as
01:05:01
hard as you can I'll have a lot of time to throw up being a dad which is yeah
01:05:06
well you're um you're you're a fully sent guy it's just how you've lived your
01:05:10
life and uh obviously it didn't always work out for the best but I'm sure that's um that's
01:05:16
how you parent as well and um yeah your girls are likely to have you and uh the The Unborn one as well that's on the way
01:05:21
when's the due date 12th of October 4th of October yeah listen however many years you've got left here and hopefully
01:05:28
it's hopefully it's plenty um I'm sure you're going to make a real
01:05:31
impact on um on that baby's life and help other people I'm more than I love doing it yeah well you already have
01:05:39
and you will continue to do so I'm sure yeah Squadron um well yeah what's the
01:05:44
website squadron.com NZ or if you're in Australia at squad.run hey what's been
01:05:49
um fabulous sitting down with you guys today where are we again Ellie what's
01:05:52
the thing it's got a long name final Rehabilitation Unit yeah yeah would not recommend visiting
01:06:00
Tuesdays great people service don't do it okay yeah yeah spinal injuries that uh
01:06:10
what would I say assess the risk would be now the uh the emo there's uh you think about think about
01:06:16
think of what you're doing rummage around your bum every morning try and avoid that at all costs
01:06:24
I've got some I've seen some porn where people pay big money for that that's why
01:06:28
I can't understand people do this recreationally I don't I was so disappointed when we got to Ed at
01:06:34
middlemore and um the nurse there was like okay I'm Gonna Roll them over I'm
01:06:39
gonna roll you over and put my finger in your bum hole and I'm like oh I haven't
01:06:43
even been allowed to do that and now you're just living every Tom Dick and Harry bloody thing
01:06:49
not a day just the time in the house yeah yeah yeah all right I think that's a good note to
01:06:56
end it on yeah all right I am thank you so much for your time today guys and um best of luck
01:07:02
for whatever the future may bring thanks Tom