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Hi everyone. It's Valentine's Day and
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Scott and I have a little treat for our
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pivot fans. Do you know what's
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happening, Scott?
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>> I don't know what's going on here.
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>> We're playing the newlywed game.
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That's right. Our producers have put
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together some questions for us and we'll
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see how well we know. We have a special
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guest ask us questions. It's Fresco von
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Cameltoe, also known as George Han.
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>> That's Bob Eubangs to you, pal.
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>> In the butt. In the butt. Of course,
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that's where you go. All right. Well,
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we're going to do some I'm I'm step I've
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always wanted to be Bob Eubanks. I
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always thought he was low-key 70s game
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show hot. Anyway, so this is fun.
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>> [ __ ] guy.
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>> In other words, you'd [ __ ] him. Go
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ahead.
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>> Totally. All right. I'm going to start
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with Scott here.
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>> The first question for you. How many
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times has Cara been arrested?
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>> Oh, that's easy. Twice.
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>> Yeah,
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>> that's correct. That is correct.
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>> Yeah. But um uh but just so you know for
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I don't want anyone to think I don't
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take Valentine's Day seriously with
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Cara. Last week I bought her a a belt
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and a bag and now her vacuum works
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perfectly.
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>> Good dad. Good dad humor. Yeah, she's
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been arrested twice.
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>> She's a full-on excon. She's got a rap
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sheet longer than the A train.
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>> That's amazing. Scott, you listen to me.
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I have I've been arrested twice.
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>> Well, here's the problem. I'm turning
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into a lesbian, which means we'll get
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divorced. When you have two people
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listening in a marriage. Not good. Not
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good. I own this game right now. I'm
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great at this. How many times have I
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been arrested?
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>> I don't know. I don't know. Never.
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>> None.
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>> Zero. I've never had any interactions
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with the law whatsoever.
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>> Amateur. All right. Cara, you're up.
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Where was Scott conceived?
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>> Oh, he always takes his dad takes him
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there to and shows him the place.
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>> You care. You care.
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>> In Scot in Scotland. In Scotland. They
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he point No, wait. No, no, no, no, no.
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Montre No, no. It's another country.
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It's um
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>> It's Montreal. It's Montreal. It's
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Montreal or Toronto. It's Canada.
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>> Does your child need ADHD drugs? Listen
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to it right now. My god.
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>> Cuz he always has his His dad used to
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say, "That's what you conceived." Like
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it's it's in Canada. It's either
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Montreal or Toronto. I one of those two
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cities there.
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>> You got to say Toronto, though. It's
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Toronto.
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>> Toronto. Toronto.
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>> Toronto. No. No. Toronto.
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>> Toronto. Toronto. Oh, they blow off the
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tea. Is that how they do it?
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>> Yeah. Toronto.
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>> Toronto. Toronto. Toronto.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. That's That was the annual
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visit to where you were conceived.
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That's where he had it. Go ahead. Pretty
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good.
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>> All right. Next question. I'm going to
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send it back to Scott here. Scott, which
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tech mogul was rumored to be Carara's
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sperm donor?
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I got my theory.
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>> I mean, just the obvious one would be
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Musk. I'm trying to think it would be
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anybody else. I don't know. It's so
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funny. I just spent some time with
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Carara's ex and Cara and her ex look so
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much like their kids and I still can't
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figure out the mechanics like who's
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giving sperm and eggs to who.
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>> Yeah, nobody. I was pregnant, Scott. Oh
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my god. All right. Do you know who this
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is?
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>> By the way, I think I think you should
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have the right to do that. I'm I'm
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really happy about that. Um
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>> Okay.
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>> Uh who what tech mogul?
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>> It was in the New York Post. There was a
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big story about it.
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>> It's going to be your um I have no idea.
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>> It's in my book. So, that means you
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didn't read my book.
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>> Oh, no. I read it twice. I just read it
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so much I I it started to blend
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together. I thought it was so bad I
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started buying them and sending them to
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enemies.
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>> I'm going to help you here. He looks
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like a penis. A small one.
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>> A small bald man? I don't know. Who is
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it?
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>> Who is the small bald man of big tech?
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>> Oh, Bezos was your going to be your
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donor.
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>> No, he wasn't. People It got in the New
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York Post because he asked me how at a
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party and someone overheard it and they
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gave it to the New York.
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>> Yeah. You leaked that in hopes of like
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juicing your latest book, burn book.
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>> I did not.
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>> I'm surprised. Yeah, I'm surprised you
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didn't keep it in the gay house with
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Peter Teal.
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>> Oh. Oh, no. No. Also, Bezos was too
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short. I'll be honest with you that I
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told him that. I was like, not tall
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enough. So,
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>> Teal always looks like he's in between
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sessions in a dungeon.
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>> Oh my god. I'd be like Rosemary's baby
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if it was Teal.
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>> Whose sperm would you pick? What tech
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exact sperm would you pick?
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>> Oh, if I had to.
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>> Who has the best genetics? Tim Cook has
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good hair.
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>> Uh, no. I'd have to talk to him. No.
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See, do I have to talk to them or never
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see them again?
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>> No. Never see them again. No woman I've
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ever deposit of sperm with speaks to me
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again.
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>> There's a person I'm not going to say
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his name cuz he's not really wellnown.
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>> Thank you, George. That was funny. You
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miss that, Cara.
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>> I What did I hear?
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>> Scott, you're the gayest straight man.
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Your behavior is so gay for a straight
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man.
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>> That's what my ex used to say. Gay by
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day, straight by night. It all works for
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me.
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>> That's right, baby.
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>> Actually, I will say his name. Who? I
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would have. This guy named Hans Peter
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Bromo. The hills are alive.
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>> He's a Telecom exec and he's stunning.
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He's from Norway and he's great. He's a
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great guy. Family Peter. Yes. And he's a
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sweetheart. So, I would have picked him.
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I would pick Hans. Not people know, but
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famous ones. Zero. I'd say zero. All
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right.
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>> I'm trying to think. All right. Go
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ahead.
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>> Now, Cara, this one's yours. The next
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question. This is a deep one. When was
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Scott at his happiest?
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>> What? When was Scott? Was Scott at his
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happiest?
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>> Or least miserable. You framed it
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correct correctly.
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>> God, when when he's with me, obviously.
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When was he at his happiest? When he had
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a a baby. When he had a When he had his
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kid.
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>> I don't know. I hated having babies. I
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felt nauseous. I don't know.
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>> All I could think about was I don't have
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enough money.
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>> Oh, right.
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>> I was like, I don't have enough money.
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That nurse is hot. I don't have enough
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money. That nurse is hot. I don't have
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enough money.
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>> He's such a good guy. when he's every
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time every Monday and Thursday when
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we're taping Pivot, that's when he's at
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his most happiest.
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>> I do like Pivot.
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>> All right, Scott, your final question.
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Which TV couple does your relationship
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with Cara most resemble? Sam and Diane,
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Mr. Ror and Tattoo, Shane and Ilia from
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Heated Rivalry. Which is it?
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>> Which one did I pick?
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>> I would say you would say Heated
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Rivalry, I would think. Um Oh, wait. Who
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are the first ones?
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>> Sam and Diane from Cheers.
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>> Sam and Diane. No, Sam's nicer than both
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of us. Tattoo and Oh god,
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you're villages.
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>> No, you're Irvy Militches.
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>> Oh my god. The plane. The plane.
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>> And Mr. Rooric. Another one who was like
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70s hot.
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>> I'm boss. Come on.
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>> Who was the other one?
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>> The guys from Heated Rivalry.
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>> I'm going to pick Heated Rivalry just
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cuz you're all things gay.
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>> Wrong. Your tattoo. I'm Mr. Uh,
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>> no. But there is a I'm serious. Door 4 D
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is so perfect. Uh, in VEP, there's this
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foul-mouthed congressman and his lackey
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intern, and they just insult each other
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all day. And in the last episode, the
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foul-mouthed uh GOP congressman is
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pushing the intern around in his
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wheelchair. Like, they've clearly been
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together for like 80 years.
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>> And that's about right. Yeah, I like it.
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I just know you're going to be rolling
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me around in a wheelchair, barely able
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to see above the back of the wheelchair,
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screaming up at people, and I'm just
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going to be there like, "When is she
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going to take me home and reheat my
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soup?"
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>> I think you guys are more like Sam and
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um what's her name? Uh Kirsty Alley.
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>> Yeah, not Kirsty Ali. There's Sam and
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Diane, and then there's Sam and Kirsty
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Alley.
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>> Yeah, but Sam's nice. Neither of us are
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Sam. Sam's a nice guy.
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>> Yeah, that's true.
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>> That's true. That's true. And he has
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great hair, unlike some other people on
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this podcast.
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>> There you go. I think we're more like
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that gay FBI agent and that He-Man in
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Ozarks.
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>> Now he's sitting there all day. This is
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gonna go on. All day this is gonna go
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on. I think we're tattooing Mr. Roar.
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>> Joanie and Chachi. You're Scott Beao.
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>> No, you're Scott Bao.
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>> You're so Scott Beao. Last question. All
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right, this last question. Cara, this is
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for all the marbles here. Oh god, I
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didn't write these. Where is the
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craziest place Scott has ever made
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Whoopi?
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>> What? I don't know. everywhere.
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>> Did you never watch the the the
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newlywood game, the actual one?
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Legendary made I know the whoopy part. I
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get the whoopy in Dubai.
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>> She actually said in the ass.
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>> Uh, where's the weirdest place? I don't
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know. I don't know that question.
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Anywhere. Sex must be quite something to
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watch. I've never seen that though, by
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the way. I've never seen
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>> Scott. Where is the weirdest place?
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Geographically or on your person?
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>> I had to think about it. The weirdest
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place are the the place that stands out.
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the first person I was like in love with
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and was in love with me, Melanie Kagan.
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We went I thought it'd be cool. We used
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to study in PAL library and we thought,
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"Oh, it'll be fun to start fooling
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around in one of the conference rooms
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and a security guard walked in and we
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almost got arrested and like she was
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worried she was going to get kicked out
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of UCLA and it spread like wildfire and
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it was like a really ugly moment and we
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weren't even like having sex. We were
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just kind of making out anyway."
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>> Oh, that's good for you. Yeah. You
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remember I got arrested speak? Oh, no.
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>> Oh, for making out in a car, right?
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>> That was the second time. Yeah.
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Remember, she's an excon.
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>> Pal library. Melanie Kagan.
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>> Oh, Melanie's going to be thrilled. We
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have to have her at the next pivot tour.
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>> Oh my god, she's lovely. She's lovely.
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She's lovely. First person who loves
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you, you love the rest of your life.
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>> Oh, that's nice. That's lovely, Scott.
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All right. Well, there you go.
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>> Fantastic.
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>> We sort of know each other. We are. But
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what we want to say is, uh, thank you,
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George. Uh, clearly we know each other
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very well. what we do actually. Anyway,
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we wish everybody a happy Valentine's
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Day. What's really important is to learn
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things about each other and get it wrong
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and enjoy yourself anyway.
