00:00:00
Don't be mad at my long hair. What's
00:00:02
with the fluffy silver silver silver
00:00:04
wings? Can you fly with that hair?
00:00:07
>> Fly away.
00:00:08
>> We just toned it down. We have a light
00:00:10
behind me, but we toned it down.
00:00:12
>> It's actually kind of cool. It's
00:00:13
>> I think it's kind of cool. I don't know
00:00:15
why, but Oh, it was a happy accident.
00:00:19
>> Really?
00:00:20
>> David looks like a little angel with his
00:00:22
little angel right off the bat.
00:00:24
>> Well, well, well.
00:00:26
>> He's a sweet man.
00:00:28
>> All right, there we go. You can write
00:00:30
that off for sure.
00:00:33
>> Ah, we've had a break and now we're
00:00:35
back.
00:00:36
>> 2026,
00:00:38
it's been a ride so far. Not right.
00:00:42
>> 2026 is starting off a little slow,
00:00:45
isn't it? I mean,
00:00:47
>> I mean, yeah. I mean,
00:00:50
>> I didn't My big New Year's We'll get
00:00:52
right at it. We'll get
00:00:54
>> Okay. All right. This is We're in the
00:00:56
realm we can talk about your big New
00:00:57
Year's. I want to hear it.
00:01:00
>> This year I said I'm gonna do it. I
00:01:02
usually don't stay up late, but I go I'm
00:01:04
gonna stay up till 10.
00:01:04
>> No. No.
00:01:06
>> Yeah.
00:01:07
>> Idiot.
00:01:07
>> So I said 12 is sort of I stay up till
00:01:11
12 about four times a year. It's very
00:01:13
rare
00:01:14
>> if you do stand up. Sometimes you just
00:01:16
stay up if your set's late.
00:01:19
>> Yeah. When I used to do the Mirage, we
00:01:22
were for sure not even done till
00:01:23
>> Don't even say that triggers me.
00:01:26
Well, I'm up at 6:00 a.m. in the hotel
00:01:29
and then I'm going on and doing stand up
00:01:31
at 10:45 that night and I can't nap. So,
00:01:34
I'm 15 hours in a box waiting. But the
00:01:36
main thing was when I played it, it was
00:01:39
122. No exaggeration. All the flights
00:01:42
got cancelled. The hotel, they said 40%
00:01:45
cancelled. The audience is comeosse
00:01:49
and uh it was a bit slow.
00:01:51
>> They're just trying to live. They just
00:01:53
come there for shelter to your show.
00:01:55
Yeah, basically they can go in there and
00:01:58
it's air conditioned. Yeah. But anyway,
00:02:00
that's So you New Year's Eve you stayed
00:02:03
up.
00:02:04
>> Well, I'm saying when I used to do it
00:02:05
with Ray Romano at the Mirage, uh we
00:02:07
wouldn't get off because we do a meet
00:02:09
and greet at the end. And not a meet and
00:02:10
greet. We do a Q&A. So
00:02:12
>> I did it.
00:02:13
>> By the way, I'm going out there with
00:02:14
Nikki Glazer to Caesars. This ties into
00:02:17
New Year's Eve.
00:02:18
>> I don't know. It's cuz I know you, but I
00:02:20
see the picture of you and Nikki in the
00:02:23
Roman outfits. Yeah.
00:02:25
>> Floating around. They're in my purview.
00:02:27
I mean, they're
00:02:29
ubiquitous. And I go, "Wait a minute. Is
00:02:32
it like eight shows? It couldn't be more
00:02:36
looking like AI that we are dressed like
00:02:39
Roman emperors, but we did it for real
00:02:42
for Caesars. We did a full photo shoot
00:02:44
at at the coliseum. It's going to be
00:02:46
great." That's one in January, I think,
00:02:47
one in May, one in September.
00:02:49
>> But it's a weekend. It's two nights,
00:02:50
right?
00:02:51
>> Yeah. Yeah. Two shows. Uh, other than
00:02:53
that, just so everyone knows, because
00:02:55
everyone's been asking, when are you
00:02:57
going on the road? Where are you going?
00:03:00
I've got Salt Lake, San Diego.
00:03:02
>> Can you give us dates? Is I would like
00:03:04
to have them in my head. What's What are
00:03:06
the dates?
00:03:07
>> Thank you.
00:03:07
>> I hate when people say that. I'll be in
00:03:09
Toronto. When, [ __ ]
00:03:11
>> When? [ __ ] Outside of Toronto.
00:03:14
>> Okay.
00:03:15
>> Salt Lake. What's the date?
00:03:17
>> Salt Lake is next weekend. Um, and then
00:03:21
>> 167
00:03:22
>> 1617 that's Salt Lake San Diego. Then I
00:03:25
got Caesars the weekend after. Then a
00:03:27
week off. Then we got
00:03:29
>> Caesar's day.
00:03:30
>> Caesars is what?
00:03:32
>> January 16.
00:03:33
>> 1670. That was
00:03:35
>> San Diego. Where's San Diego in there?
00:03:37
>> That's the week before.
00:03:38
>> But what's the number?
00:03:40
>> What's the number, Heather?
00:03:41
>> I'm a rain man.
00:03:44
>> Don't No one fast forward.
00:03:45
>> Yeah, got to know the number.
00:03:46
>> Mine is seven days. It's next weekend.
00:03:48
Oh.
00:03:49
>> Uh, and Salt Lake. And then then, uh,
00:03:51
>> the weekend of the ninth 10th.
00:03:53
>> 9th 10th. Then the end of the month is
00:03:57
Old Farley Stomping, uh, Wisconsin doing
00:04:01
Milwaukee, Appleton, and Chicago.
00:04:05
That's fun. I've done that that run
00:04:07
before. Sometimes I pepper in Madison
00:04:10
because that's where Chris is from. And
00:04:12
uh, sometimes I pepper in different
00:04:14
ones, but that's a good chunk. Got
00:04:16
Philadelphia coming up. We got a couple.
00:04:18
So, you go to go to the davidpade.com.
00:04:20
God, when they do this on Bad Friends, I
00:04:22
always make fun of them and then now I
00:04:24
do it. Oh,
00:04:25
>> I'm gonna be at In-N-Out Burger in Van
00:04:29
Eyes. Uh, Saturday, January 9th.
00:04:32
>> Yeah, exactly. I'm going to be in the
00:04:33
line at the In-N-Out in Vegas. Uh, the
00:04:36
48 minute line to get in. But I will
00:04:39
tell you, so New Year's Eve I
00:04:41
>> have to have G comment.
00:04:42
>> Okay.
00:04:43
>> He's a real funny standup. I think I
00:04:46
would go if I were you. His name's David
00:04:48
Spade. I can't remember the dates
00:04:50
because he went kind of fast, but he's
00:04:52
gonna be some places. I'll say goodbye
00:04:54
now.
00:04:55
>> That sounds like gar, dude.
00:04:57
>> I don't know what was happening.
00:04:59
>> People are so annoyed. We're supposed to
00:05:01
in the first 30 seconds stir the algo.
00:05:04
Then we're going to give our predictions
00:05:06
for 2026 because we got a lot of
00:05:08
predictions.
00:05:09
>> Oh yeah.
00:05:10
>> And a lot of predictions.
00:05:12
>> And what was the other one?
00:05:14
We're going to give our favorite movies.
00:05:17
>> H favorite movies. Yeah.
00:05:18
>> Of the year.
00:05:19
>> Mhm.
00:05:20
>> But my first of all, my blisteringly
00:05:23
exciting New Year's Eve.
00:05:25
>> I have dinner with Bobby Lee. We're all
00:05:27
doing sets that night. So I said, "Oh,
00:05:28
we're all going to be at the comedy
00:05:29
store. Why not stay in town? It's
00:05:31
pouring pissing rain for the last two
00:05:33
weeks."
00:05:34
>> I was in Arizona once. Everyone got
00:05:36
sick. So it was a tough tough to keep
00:05:39
floating around. So I just said, "I'm
00:05:41
going to stay here."
00:05:43
I did the store two shows. It's Tim
00:05:45
Dylan, Nikki Glazer, Bobby Lee. It was
00:05:48
like a great lineup. So I said, "Oh,
00:05:49
good. I want to see everybody." And
00:05:51
there's two shows. I'm just doing the
00:05:53
first one. But I want to stick around
00:05:55
and see everybody. So I go to dinner
00:05:56
with Bobby.
00:05:57
>> Then we go. The shows are kind of early.
00:06:00
Tim's already off. Nikki comes in, does
00:06:03
her Golden Globe set, and has to leave.
00:06:05
She has seven sets. God damn it.
00:06:08
>> I love the work ethic of this woman.
00:06:11
being hard. She'll come so fully loaded
00:06:15
that she's almost incapable of bombing.
00:06:17
I don't want to jinx it, but it's just
00:06:19
uh too many great jokes.
00:06:22
Then and then we go to Caesars and she's
00:06:24
going to be so buffed and polished that
00:06:26
I uh that's why I got to that's why I'm
00:06:28
stepping it up. I got to keep up.
00:06:30
>> So then but she was running around doing
00:06:32
her set the monologue, you know,
00:06:35
>> and then um
00:06:36
>> and who else was there anyway? I did it.
00:06:39
I Oh yeah, I was with Bobby. So then I
00:06:41
waited for the next show. It was an hour
00:06:42
and a half and everyone split.
00:06:43
Everyone's doing shows all over town. I
00:06:45
didn't know that. I was like the laziest
00:06:47
one. So I just split. But I got home. I
00:06:50
stayed up till probably I didn't get
00:06:51
home till 9:30.
00:06:53
>> That's late. That's late for you. I
00:06:55
don't think people understand.
00:06:56
>> They don't.
00:06:57
>> For a late night comedian, for a
00:06:59
nightclub comic in America today, 8:30
00:07:03
is looking pretty good most nights.
00:07:05
>> Pretty juicy.
00:07:06
>> Even though the show's at 9.
00:07:09
That's a problem.
00:07:10
>> By the way, part of the gigs that when
00:07:12
me and Nikki were at Venetian, we were
00:07:14
like, we cannot have these shows even at
00:07:16
9:00.
00:07:16
>> It's got to be 8 because people fly in,
00:07:19
they're on Southwest, they're wiped out.
00:07:21
They're like, yeah, they they start
00:07:22
drinking a little too early. They peak
00:07:24
early. Now they're show like this.
00:07:27
>> [ __ ] this noise.
00:07:28
>> And then they're too wasted to gamble. I
00:07:30
have no idea why in the modern era, most
00:07:34
Vegas places, casinos, they should have
00:07:36
a show at 7. You and Nikki should go on.
00:07:39
It's seven. They have one drink. They're
00:07:41
awake. They see you. Then they're jazzed
00:07:44
because you two are so [ __ ] funny.
00:07:46
They go right in the casino and drop
00:07:48
some money.
00:07:49
>> Yeah. You know, when I saw Rod Stewart
00:07:51
at the Coliseum, same place we are. He
00:07:53
was uh seven, I think.
00:07:56
>> Yeah. Perfect. Because what he does is
00:07:59
he flies home after. But he did a great
00:08:01
show. It's about 90 minutes. Starts
00:08:03
right at the on the dot. Boom.
00:08:06
I wish I
00:08:10
>> in case you're not going to see it.
00:08:12
>> David, do your best. Rod Stewart, in
00:08:15
case you can't get to a show, just 10
00:08:17
seconds. One, two, three, go.
00:08:20
>> Okay, Maggie. I wish I never seen. Isn't
00:08:25
that a good
00:08:26
>> That's good. That's got a lot of
00:08:28
mandolin.
00:08:29
>> I just like the one I don't know the
00:08:30
lyrics, but
00:08:32
some people got no luck at all.
00:08:35
Some guys have all the luck.
00:08:37
>> SOME GUYS GOT ALL THE LUCK. I DON'T
00:08:40
KNOW. IT'S NOT MY BEST IMPRESSION, but
00:08:42
I'm going to work on it.
00:08:43
>> Yeah, it's That is not your best one.
00:08:46
>> One of the Yeah, but I I work with him.
00:08:48
I worked with him.
00:08:49
>> He's a friend.
00:08:50
>> Yeah, he's a good guy.
00:08:52
>> He's still got the poofy hair. I've
00:08:53
always I've always
00:08:55
>> uh said that rock stars or famous people
00:08:59
keep the look when they were the most
00:09:01
famous. And I think Rod Stewart is stuck
00:09:02
with that poofy hair, kind of boas and
00:09:06
fur. He looks cool.
00:09:09
>> Poison has the bandana and you [ __ ]
00:09:11
know him in one second,
00:09:13
>> right?
00:09:13
>> Michael. So there's a lot out there that
00:09:15
do that.
00:09:17
>> Uh me.
00:09:20
>> Yeah. Um so anyway, so that was that. Uh
00:09:25
on the way I have a beetle haircut and
00:09:26
that's why I have my haircut like this
00:09:28
way. So I got a beetle t-shirt. You got
00:09:31
really bit by the beetle bug
00:09:32
>> for Christmas. I Isn't it strange? I
00:09:36
didn't know, you know, it was the New
00:09:37
Year's. They call it a new year because
00:09:40
they changed the number, you know. So,
00:09:42
it's 2025 and they go 26. It's one more.
00:09:46
So, it's a new year. You see?
00:09:48
>> Mhm.
00:09:49
>> Little treat for you fans.
00:09:51
>> Flip it over. Yeah.
00:09:53
>> I saw you doing Paul McCarti on a Larry
00:09:56
David rerun.
00:09:58
I did everything I could to make Larry
00:09:59
David laugh because he he has the most
00:10:02
finely tuned. You know, he's one of the
00:10:04
most talented writer comedians in
00:10:06
history. But as an audience member, he's
00:10:09
off the charts.
00:10:11
>> [ __ ] He was right here in this studio.
00:10:12
He was popping a stitch when you were
00:10:14
doing that.
00:10:15
>> He fell out of that chair. But anyway,
00:10:17
>> he fell out of the other chair and and
00:10:18
we were like, "Holy shit." You know what
00:10:20
he was for being You like comedians that
00:10:23
still laugh at other people's [ __ ] A
00:10:25
lot of them are just like, "Hey, man.
00:10:26
Cool. Cool. Cool. Yeah, man. You're
00:10:28
funny. And you go, but when he came in,
00:10:30
he's like in a good mood. He's like,
00:10:32
"Make me laugh. Let's have fun. Let's
00:10:34
[ __ ] around." And it was great.
00:10:36
>> Well, it's just oldtimey impressions. I
00:10:39
mean, that we're we know how the genie
00:10:41
gets out of the out of the bottle. So,
00:10:42
as comedians, sometimes you're watching
00:10:45
a comic and it's killing. Go, oh, good
00:10:47
one.
00:10:48
>> Oh, oh, that's a nice move. Oh, put
00:10:50
those two together. But if you're saying
00:10:52
Henry Fonda and Jimmy Stewart and a
00:10:54
woman are at a threesome, it's so
00:10:56
outside of normal Larry David comedy.
00:11:00
>> Yeah. He just likes to hear some [ __ ]
00:11:02
>> Yeah. I'd like to get in on that action,
00:11:05
you know? I mean, it's just like
00:11:06
>> Yeah. They're all
00:11:07
>> He's like a tree falling over.
00:11:13
You know, I thought of you the other day
00:11:14
because I have two two beefs with Amazon
00:11:18
Prime and I don't want to bring my fight
00:11:20
here, but these are just little
00:11:22
quarrels.
00:11:23
>> I want I really want I'm interested
00:11:25
because I have a lot to say about it.
00:11:27
>> One relates to you. So, stick around for
00:11:29
that one. Also, the audience stick
00:11:30
around for the first one's boring. When
00:11:32
we interviewed the UFO guy, Dan,
00:11:34
>> we which I really liked here. I like
00:11:36
that stuff.
00:11:37
>> I went to watch on Amazon Prime like a
00:11:40
great guy, great guy syndrome.
00:11:43
whatever. Yeah.
00:11:44
>> And not only do I pay for Amazon Prime,
00:11:47
but that's sort of baked in now. That's
00:11:49
what N bucks, 12 bucks.
00:11:51
>> Then you go to watch it, they go only on
00:11:53
Amazon Prime. So when I go to watch it,
00:11:56
it's another nine bucks or 10 bucks.
00:11:59
>> What? What do you mean? I don't
00:12:01
understand. I got double rat [ __ ] I
00:12:04
mean, how I thought I paid to get on, so
00:12:06
now I get to watch stuff.
00:12:09
Amazon Prime and I click on it. Prime
00:12:12
well Prime Video then you see all the
00:12:15
ones and they do have
00:12:17
>> they have new release movies like or in
00:12:20
theater movies if you go download and
00:12:23
then it's like you can watch it two
00:12:25
weeks earlier for $169.
00:12:30
>> So I'm going to wait on Housemade. By
00:12:31
the way, I did see Housemade. We'll talk
00:12:33
about that in a minute.
00:12:34
>> Oh, you did? That's when we were going
00:12:35
up for best movies. Okay. I tried to
00:12:36
find it. Is it on Amazon Prime? No, no,
00:12:38
it's in the theaters and it's cooking.
00:12:40
It's cooking. Yeah.
00:12:41
>> No, it's cooking with gas. Uh,
00:12:43
>> it's really good.
00:12:44
>> The other Amazon Prime boring story is
00:12:46
uh that It's a Wonderful Life. That's
00:12:49
why I thought of you because I think
00:12:50
it's one of your favorite movies.
00:12:52
>> Absolutely.
00:12:53
>> And they don't mention it. I don't think
00:12:57
they mention it right away, but a lot of
00:12:59
people, not just them, when they play
00:13:01
it, they took out a really good part.
00:13:04
Pottersville.
00:13:06
What? I know. Oh, I read I just saw that
00:13:09
by line. What did they take out chunk?
00:13:11
They take out about his whole if he
00:13:14
wasn't born and he goes back.
00:13:16
>> Oh, they they cut all that way down.
00:13:18
>> That's gone.
00:13:19
>> Why?
00:13:20
>> Because there's some copyright problem
00:13:22
where they had to pay more and so they
00:13:23
just skip it. And it it's really you
00:13:26
would know more than me. It really would
00:13:28
throw the movie off.
00:13:30
>> Well, it it it's it's um
00:13:33
>> it's like a perfect movie the way it is.
00:13:35
You need to know all the information.
00:13:36
Well, like say take a revenge movie, but
00:13:39
we don't have any violence against
00:13:41
there's nothing revenge. What are you
00:13:43
gonna I don't know. So that's pulling
00:13:45
the arrow back when he's feels so
00:13:48
distraught. He wish he'd never been
00:13:50
born. And then that sets up the whole
00:13:52
thing of people coming in. The whole
00:13:54
town comes in and they say, "We heard
00:13:57
George Bailey was in trouble." And then
00:14:00
that blew his mind. I mean, he didn't
00:14:02
realize how how many people he affected,
00:14:06
but he's, you know, so
00:14:07
>> in John Wick, you can't take out killing
00:14:10
his dog because that sets the whole
00:14:12
movie out. Now he's mad,
00:14:14
>> right? If you do the Wizard of Oz and
00:14:16
you just have her walking up to the gate
00:14:18
with the with the Oz and there's there's
00:14:20
no there's no munchkins.
00:14:22
>> No, they just thin man. So, they just
00:14:24
keep blocking him out of every scene
00:14:28
and it's just two other [ __ ] idiots.
00:14:31
Yeah. So, I knew you'd be up in [ __ ]
00:14:33
an uproar.
00:14:34
>> You You know, you know when they when
00:14:36
they start to edit a movie, when people
00:14:40
make a movie, they make it the way they
00:14:41
want to make it. And then somebody says,
00:14:44
"We can't afford it." And what what what
00:14:46
are you going to do? You're going to cut
00:14:47
out the stage coach and the movie stage
00:14:50
coach?
00:14:50
>> Yeah. [ __ ] yeah.
00:14:52
>> What are you going to do? The longest
00:14:53
day, you're not going to have them land
00:14:55
at Normandy?
00:14:57
>> Yeah. the uh the sand lot. They don't
00:15:00
throw the ball over the fence.
00:15:01
>> Hey, here's a quick one. Just an insert.
00:15:03
You'll make this will make you laugh.
00:15:05
This will make YOU LAUGH.
00:15:06
>> CO'S BACK. SO, GO [ __ ] YOURSELF.
00:15:13
>> I knew I'd make you laugh. It's a good
00:15:15
clip. Fouchi's back and more coer than
00:15:18
ever.
00:15:18
>> Fouchi's back. It's going TO BE THE
00:15:20
COIEST CO YOU'VE EVER SEEN. CO. Go
00:15:27
a [ __ ] yourself.
00:15:29
>> He wants a sequel, man. Uh, also Amazon.
00:15:33
Why are they chintzy? It it should be a
00:15:35
a place that doesn't have quite as much
00:15:37
money as Amazon for them to be cutting
00:15:40
corners.
00:15:40
>> I love the thing I love about Amazon.
00:15:42
Obviously, everyone knows it is that
00:15:44
they they hacked. They did something
00:15:46
that's not like Elon Musk going to Mars.
00:15:50
Just how do you order stuff and get it?
00:15:52
I mean, if I got before Amazon are
00:15:56
sending me stuff, you you get a little
00:15:58
tag says FedEx. Your package is is in
00:16:01
Gardinia. It's 2 hours away. You have to
00:16:04
drive. Oh, sorry. We missed you again.
00:16:08
Somebody somewhere at Amazon when they
00:16:11
said, "We're going to do this supply
00:16:12
chain. We're going to deliver stuff."
00:16:14
And somebody said, "Hey guys, just hear
00:16:17
me out.
00:16:19
We're going to leave the package. Are
00:16:21
you [ __ ] nuts?
00:16:22
>> Oh yeah.
00:16:23
>> We can't leave the package. It gets
00:16:24
stolen. No. No. We will get some theft,
00:16:27
but exponentially
00:16:29
>> 50%.
00:16:30
>> It's going to make our business go
00:16:32
crazy. The fact that they leave the
00:16:34
package, take a picture of it. So,
00:16:37
>> I only have a lot of props for whoever
00:16:40
did this cuz it's kind of crazy. All my
00:16:42
Christmas shopping
00:16:44
>> and people are blown away. It takes me
00:16:46
30 seconds. Christmas rap. Love Dana.
00:16:50
Pop.
00:16:51
>> Get it here in 20 [ __ ] minutes. It's
00:16:54
addictive.
00:16:55
>> It's addictive. I know people that are
00:16:57
like
00:16:58
>> just all day. It's like, "Hey, that's a
00:17:00
nice slinky." It's a power trip. Can I
00:17:03
get it in three even the same day? You
00:17:05
can get it.
00:17:06
>> Yeah. You could be two in the afternoon
00:17:08
and go,
00:17:10
>> I could use some backup toothpaste.
00:17:14
Knitting needles. Why not?
00:17:18
hat like David Spade. Knock knock knock.
00:17:22
There it is.
00:17:25
Open it up.
00:17:29
>> That's why there's a car. That's why
00:17:30
there's an Amazon truck blocking every
00:17:32
corner when you drive all day. They're
00:17:34
like,
00:17:36
"Guess what's next?" Stupid [ __ ]
00:17:38
>> Guess what's next?
00:17:40
>> Cuz this company is working with Amazon.
00:17:43
>> Drones.
00:17:43
>> Drones. Drones. High up though. And then
00:17:47
they'll lower it down.
00:17:53
>> Please go to the patio.
00:17:57
>> And out comes a puppy. But yeah, that's
00:18:00
the future. Drones.
00:18:03
>> What is it?
00:18:05
>> What if we're the worst
00:18:08
sound effect comedians?
00:18:09
>> No, we're good.
00:18:10
>> In history. Well, we're we're applying
00:18:13
sound effects that aren't appropriate. I
00:18:16
gotta adjust my mic.
00:18:19
>> Everything's a [ __ ] monster
00:18:21
>> on my mic. I got to turn.
00:18:23
It doesn't
00:18:24
>> We got it here.
00:18:25
[Laughter]
00:18:28
>> Well, you actually you have a you have a
00:18:31
little top 10 list that I do.
00:18:32
>> I have an array. They kind of
00:18:34
>> Well, the quiet birds is inspired.
00:18:38
>> It's harder to do birds now,
00:18:42
but that's inspired. And you do you do
00:18:44
an array of drills. You do a loud drill
00:18:47
soft. You do a lot of drilling.
00:18:49
>> You can do
00:18:52
>> That's a gun in the in the mountains.
00:18:57
>> Oh, I see.
00:18:58
>> Here's a plane flying over.
00:19:02
>> Come back.
00:19:06
>> Uhoh. I lost.
00:19:07
>> We lost our feed on that one.
00:19:09
>> We lost our feed.
00:19:09
>> Yeah, it's I think it was unplugged.
00:19:13
It's getting too stupid.
00:19:16
>> I wanted to throw a sound effect at you
00:19:18
that you haven't done yet.
00:19:20
>> Okay.
00:19:21
>> Um,
00:19:24
>> a mailbox being closed abruptly.
00:19:31
>> That's the steel little rusty.
00:19:33
>> Oh, it was a rusty mail box.
00:19:35
>> Here's a uh here's the arrow in the
00:19:38
door.
00:19:42
goes off.
00:19:43
>> I can do a lot of those. This is a a UFO
00:19:46
that was in disclosure taking off.
00:19:50
[Music]
00:19:54
>> Is it a four cylinder? I don't know.
00:19:56
They don't make They go like this.
00:20:01
>> Here's a Here's a lonely hearts man in a
00:20:04
singles bar trying to flirt with an
00:20:07
attractive woman, and it doesn't work.
00:20:12
Oh, that's a good one. You probably do
00:20:14
that in Wayne's World.
00:20:16
>> Yeah,
00:20:16
>> I saw a sh I saw a show the other night,
00:20:20
like one of the newer shows, and they
00:20:23
lady said, "Oh, let's do it. Party on,
00:20:25
Wayne." And they just threw it in the
00:20:27
middle of their conversation. And I was
00:20:28
like,
00:20:29
>> you know, have you ever had this?
00:20:30
Listen, I'm not saying I'm not Look,
00:20:34
this woman at a store turned to me and
00:20:38
said with with all sincerity, "Does
00:20:41
anyone ever told you you look like Dana
00:20:43
Carvey?"
00:20:44
>> And I go, "Yeah, it's a curse." I get
00:20:46
kind of joking. She goes, "No, I'm
00:20:48
serious. It's uncanny. It's uncanny
00:20:51
how." And I couldn't tell if she was
00:20:53
joking with, but she was sincere and
00:20:55
then I felt bad about it for 24 hours.
00:20:57
>> No, they just can't believe you're in
00:20:59
Cracker Barrel. the thing if you're not
00:21:01
like in a Hollywood backlot, they're
00:21:03
like, "Why would you be here?" When
00:21:05
people say that, I go, "I have to be
00:21:06
somewhere."
00:21:07
>> Well, it was like one of those things
00:21:09
where, you know, when they back up the
00:21:10
brings trucks, sometimes you'll do
00:21:12
corporate events or a corporate party
00:21:15
and sometimes they can be a little
00:21:16
rough, you know, 20 people at midnight
00:21:19
that are drunk, you know. And a woman
00:21:21
came up to me again very sincerely and
00:21:24
said, "Excuse me, um, Dana, uh,
00:21:28
why are you here?"
00:21:32
>> Cuz they figure you're doing it for
00:21:34
free, you know?
00:21:35
>> Or you ran out of money and you're like,
00:21:37
is this you need the money so bad?
00:21:41
>> People say to me about anything.
00:21:43
>> Well, that's where you go where Jay Leno
00:21:45
is the most pragmatic man. Yeah. What
00:21:48
are you going to do? stay home and watch
00:21:49
Madlock instead of make $25,000. He He
00:21:52
never understood the idea that you would
00:21:55
not do anything for the money. Here's a
00:21:57
quick hit. Bill Gates said climate
00:22:00
change isn't as bad, but he's wrong.
00:22:03
We're still totally [ __ ]
00:22:08
>> He that speech is from 1981 when he's
00:22:10
like 5 years Florida will be underwater.
00:22:12
No, but Bill Gates kind of said it's
00:22:15
it's bad, but it's probably not going to
00:22:17
be catastrophic. It'll just get a little
00:22:19
warm for a couple of days. I mean, that
00:22:21
was really really hurt a lot of people.
00:22:24
>> Yeah. Well, I could see why, but I
00:22:26
understand. God, my sure sweater pops.
00:22:29
All right. Here's also something in the
00:22:30
news. Your buddy George Clooney is a
00:22:34
French citizen.
00:22:35
>> French citizen.
00:22:37
What?
00:22:42
That's what he said.
00:22:48
>> I like after a dust up
00:22:51
>> gets Francis another dust. Well, Trump,
00:22:54
one of Trump's uh things that's funny to
00:22:57
me is he'll go after people like about
00:23:01
their career.
00:23:02
>> He's never was a star. He never was a
00:23:04
star. He was just he never it wasn't a
00:23:07
movie so I don't know what it was but he
00:23:09
did make like 30 movies but it's like he
00:23:12
never made a movie so
00:23:14
>> I don't think you can take that away
00:23:16
from Clooney. I feel like he is a huge
00:23:19
star but I would think if he's bailing
00:23:21
he would go to Italy because he was in
00:23:22
Italy for the last 20 years. I mean he
00:23:24
has that place in Italy since
00:23:27
>> freaking I was on Just Shoot Me and uh
00:23:29
and then to switch it to France I don't
00:23:32
know but he took his kids he said I
00:23:33
don't want to be in America. I don't
00:23:34
want to have them grow up in America
00:23:36
like
00:23:37
>> but the thing is you know he he gets
00:23:40
political which is fine but I wonder if
00:23:42
he will get political in France or he
00:23:44
will keep he did say something even the
00:23:48
other day after he announced this and it
00:23:51
feels like if he tapped out of here he
00:23:54
doesn't need the stress of of the
00:23:57
politics of America anymore
00:23:59
>> you know what I mean he got out it's
00:24:01
like you're on the Jets you go to the
00:24:03
Steelers after 20 years and then you go,
00:24:05
"Hey, I want to send in some plays on
00:24:07
the jet." They're like, "Not anymore."
00:24:09
No, you're you're
00:24:10
>> Well, one is I do know that in Lake
00:24:12
Cuomo he was on the water. I was there
00:24:14
once and every tour thing. George
00:24:18
Clooney's house right there. George
00:24:20
Clooney, you know, so now he has uh kids
00:24:24
and so he's on a giant place, but it's
00:24:27
hard. I mean, everyone knows where he
00:24:29
lives and everything. I I
00:24:32
uh I think he'll probably lower his
00:24:35
footprint and lower the temperature. I
00:24:37
mean, because just wants to be raise his
00:24:40
family now.
00:24:41
>> Sure. I mean, I I sort of get it. I
00:24:43
mean, he's from Where's he from?
00:24:44
Kentucky.
00:24:46
>> I would probably Well, I'm not a big
00:24:48
traveler. I would take a huge Kentucky
00:24:50
farm over. Well, people love France, so
00:24:52
I think I'm in the minority there. Uh
00:24:55
there's a lot of places in the world if
00:24:57
you have a couple dollars in your pocket
00:24:59
where you can go and disappear and
00:25:01
escape. But he did say that money is not
00:25:03
an issue anymore. Which is a wonderful
00:25:05
thing for a human being to say, "Hey,
00:25:07
how how how's money?" Um not an issue
00:25:11
for me anymore.
00:25:12
>> Really?
00:25:12
>> It's an issue for me.
00:25:14
>> You no issue. Let Hold on. Let me think.
00:25:18
No, not an issue. But that's um good for
00:25:21
him. him and Randy Gerber did an amazing
00:25:24
deal with their tequila brand and that's
00:25:26
>> I think are they out of that? I think
00:25:28
they got out.
00:25:28
>> They got out I think George I don't know
00:25:31
after taxes but
00:25:32
>> trillion
00:25:34
>> I think maybe got three or 400 million
00:25:37
>> the G&P of Romania.
00:25:42
>> Three or 400 million. That's a lot of
00:25:44
money.
00:25:45
>> Me I got about 700 million. Can you
00:25:48
believe it? Michelle I'll be there in a
00:25:49
second. I just want to tell these guys.
00:25:51
One, I look younger because this puppet
00:25:53
was made a long time ago.
00:25:55
>> Young man,
00:25:56
>> but I'm rich.
00:25:57
>> Lip looks fat though.
00:25:58
>> I know. I know. I know. But David, I
00:26:01
know.
00:26:02
>> David, I want to say you're one of the
00:26:04
best standups. And where are you going
00:26:05
to be? What's the date again for Salt
00:26:07
Lake City?
00:26:08
>> You know, nobody knows the dates. I just
00:26:10
keep saying cities. Michelle
00:26:12
>> and I would like to drop by because we
00:26:13
just think you're funnier than hell.
00:26:15
Love Tommy Boy. Love Joe Dirt. Okay.
00:26:18
Grown-ups. All your movies. That's
00:26:20
great,
00:26:20
>> Michelle. I said I'd be there.
00:26:23
>> That's good. You go into those fast.
00:26:25
>> It's so easy.
00:26:26
>> Good voice. I mean,
00:26:28
>> they told Nancy Pelosi that she can't
00:26:30
trade stocks and be in Congress anymore.
00:26:36
>> I like her bug eyes. Sorry. I I'll stop
00:26:40
these if the fans.
00:26:42
>> I always read about some congressman
00:26:44
makes 22 grand a year and they're worth
00:26:46
70 million and you go, "Well, maybe I
00:26:48
should get into that." That's what's the
00:26:50
trick?
00:26:50
>> Well, I'll just say this and this this
00:26:52
is should be not political at all. I
00:26:56
mean, come on. They get so much inside
00:26:59
information just casually about about
00:27:03
deals. So, why should they be able to
00:27:04
trade stocks? They go, "Oh, no. We're
00:27:06
not trading. We don't take any
00:27:08
information from Congress. What's your
00:27:10
average return? Oh, about 70% a year,
00:27:14
but we really research it, you know.
00:27:16
Come on.
00:27:17
>> Yeah. Me and you are scraping mine about
00:27:19
4.1%.
00:27:21
>> Yeah. Jesus Christ. Most most ETFs grab
00:27:24
you maybe four, three, 4%. Carvey Christ
00:27:27
sakes. Pelosi's up there about 90% a
00:27:31
year with no insider information. All
00:27:34
right, that's something. Got some reetss
00:27:37
biting me in the ass. What is that? Real
00:27:39
estate.
00:27:40
>> I was never in that hot tub. That hot
00:27:43
tub picture.
00:27:45
>> Oh, he got Yeah,
00:27:46
>> David. David, let me just talk to David
00:27:48
for a second.
00:27:49
>> That's a misunderstanding.
00:27:50
>> Let that You saw the picture? That's
00:27:52
fake news. That's a fake thing. I was
00:27:54
never in that hot tub. David,
00:27:56
>> I believe it.
00:27:58
>> Do you, David? Do you really?
00:28:00
>> Was it hot in the hot tub, though? All
00:28:02
right.
00:28:04
>> See, I was a trick question because if
00:28:06
he said it was then he then he was in
00:28:08
>> I like the idea the puppets talk to you.
00:28:11
>> I know. I do like I talk back
00:28:13
>> and it doesn't have to be funny. It's
00:28:15
just sort of like
00:28:16
>> or does it? All right. Predictions for
00:28:19
2026.
00:28:20
>> We haven't gotten any good stories yet,
00:28:22
but we should give Okay, you give me
00:28:24
your predictions. Well, I know we got
00:28:26
>> Okay, they will reboot the A team
00:28:30
on Netflix
00:28:32
>> and David Spade will play the leader who
00:28:35
was played by George Papard in the 80s.
00:28:38
You will be the leader of the A team.
00:28:42
>> Oh, okay. I would do that.
00:28:43
>> Tim Meadows will play Mr. T.
00:28:47
>> Okay.
00:28:49
>> Who else is in there?
00:28:50
>> Have to be black in the remake if you
00:28:52
don't want him.
00:28:52
>> Well, I don't know. But Tim is a badass.
00:28:55
He can fight.
00:28:56
>> Tim's still Tim is always pretty ripped.
00:28:59
>> He's ripped, too, but he's also kind of
00:29:00
tough. He doesn't like people uh you
00:29:03
know, I mean, he he's willing to throw
00:29:05
down.
00:29:06
>> I think I pity the fool might sound
00:29:08
condescending in this day and age.
00:29:10
>> Well, what Okay, here we change it.
00:29:13
>> What would be the instead of I pity the
00:29:15
fool, I feel sorry for the fell. I
00:29:18
understand the fool and I get what's
00:29:20
what he's trying to do, but it's not
00:29:23
working.
00:29:24
>> Um I admire
00:29:26
the fool.
00:29:28
>> Yeah, I relate to the fool.
00:29:32
>> Well, George Papar, just in a side note,
00:29:35
he looked like he was a hundred, but
00:29:37
honestly, I'm probably 10 years older
00:29:39
than he was. If the Golden Girls were
00:29:41
only 33 when they shot that
00:29:44
>> and they're playing Yeah. I think George
00:29:46
Barber's probably like 52 or something.
00:29:48
>> Jesus, he looked like he was a thousand.
00:29:51
That's why people say, "You're old." I
00:29:53
go, "Oh, not really." And then they go,
00:29:54
"Yeah." Well, when I was at Anderson's
00:29:57
Fifth Estate, the bar I started standup
00:29:59
in. And they said we were all 21, right?
00:30:04
And this guy was there hitting on all
00:30:05
the girls, and people got mad because
00:30:07
they there was a rumor he was 44. And
00:30:09
everyone's like, "First of all, [ __ ]
00:30:11
gross. Second of all, why would they let
00:30:14
someone 44 in here and he was stealing
00:30:16
our chicks? And then I thought, well, if
00:30:19
Sean Penn came in and he was 44,
00:30:21
everyone would be freaking out and love
00:30:22
it and all everyone love him. So, if
00:30:24
you're an unfamous 44, that's that's a
00:30:27
problem in Arizona in Scottsdale.
00:30:29
>> Everybody, you know, you I mean, we have
00:30:31
modern technology. You know, 70s the new
00:30:33
60s, 60s the new 50, 40 is the new 30,
00:30:36
30 is the new 20, 20 now.
00:30:41
I mean, it's really like I can't see the
00:30:44
difference. There's some people, but
00:30:46
when I go back to Scottsdale, sometimes
00:30:48
I see somebody and I see these old
00:30:49
geysers walk by and I go, "Are you David
00:30:52
Spade? I was a year under you in high
00:30:55
school." I go, "Wait, you're close to
00:30:58
what the
00:31:01
Yeah, you were older than us." I'm like,
00:31:03
"What?"
00:31:04
Well, one of the tragic figures of
00:31:07
speech that's kind of amusing is, "Oh,
00:31:09
how's how's Bill?" Well, he's doing
00:31:12
great. He He kind of let himself go. He
00:31:15
let himself go. Yeah, he just let
00:31:18
himself go. It sounds kind of gentle in
00:31:20
a way. W What are you What are you doing
00:31:22
right now? I'm just letting myself go.
00:31:25
So, you can see people at 50 that have,
00:31:29
you know, look more mature. Sure. Well,
00:31:32
you also when you're in showbiz and
00:31:35
you're on camera, there is a part of you
00:31:37
that goes, I can't totally collapse. I
00:31:40
have to do a few crunches a week,
00:31:43
right?
00:31:44
>> Yeah. I've got to moisturize. I gota I
00:31:47
I've got to, you know, Yeah.
00:31:48
>> I don't want to look like a full
00:31:49
reptilian [ __ ]
00:31:51
>> Well, that's the thing for everybody. If
00:31:53
you can go to your 50th high school
00:31:55
reunion
00:31:56
>> and everyone everyone walk or even 40,
00:31:59
you know,
00:32:00
>> okay,
00:32:00
>> and everyone walks up and that none of
00:32:02
them has to say,
00:32:04
>> "I'm sorry. Who are you again?" Like, if
00:32:06
you can stay recognizable, you're doing
00:32:09
pretty good.
00:32:11
>> And you go, "Hi, I went to school with
00:32:13
you. I just pooped my pants." A lot of
00:32:16
people did. We're at the 50th.
00:32:18
>> Well, he let himself go. Literally.
00:32:21
>> Yeah. That's letting him poop go. I have
00:32:24
a question for you about
00:32:26
>> Oh, Heather came around.
00:32:28
>> Heather, I can hear Heather. You can
00:32:30
hear Heather on the good ones.
00:32:32
>> I don't I don't know which one.
00:32:33
>> She's not handing out laughs to any
00:32:35
[ __ ]
00:32:36
>> No. No.
00:32:37
>> You have to You have to earn it.
00:32:38
>> First of all, I do a quick
00:32:40
>> 2026 prediction from Joe Biden.
00:32:43
>> No. It's a people
00:32:46
time. It's a people's side. Yeah. So,
00:32:50
>> you know, on Chinese in China, it's a
00:32:53
year of the ice cream.
00:32:55
>> Is that real?
00:32:56
>> No.
00:32:57
>> Oh, because it sounded in in Malaysia.
00:32:59
It's the year of the hot fudge Sunday.
00:33:02
>> You know, we just did Bill Mar's
00:33:03
podcast. It's I think it's coming out
00:33:05
this week. But I forgot. We asked about
00:33:07
one of his first jokes. Here's one of my
00:33:09
first ones I heard from him. Mhm.
00:33:11
>> He said, "Which one has the year of
00:33:14
that? Is that in China?"
00:33:16
>> Yeah, it's the Chinese the year.
00:33:19
>> Chinese the new year. Yeah. He goes,
00:33:21
"You know, it's it's uh the Chinese New
00:33:24
Year. It's the it's the year of the
00:33:25
dragon,
00:33:26
>> but I keep writing year of the rat on
00:33:28
all my checks.
00:33:30
I'm still writing year of the rat. You
00:33:32
know how we always write 2025, but it's
00:33:34
2026.
00:33:35
>> But it's the year of the rat." So, yeah.
00:33:37
>> Oh, boy. I got to walk you through that
00:33:38
one. Um, okay. What I want to know if
00:33:42
first of all Minnesota's having a tough
00:33:44
week. Um, but I will say I will say
00:33:48
Minnesota because I I know you're
00:33:49
probably working on a Tim Waltz because
00:33:52
>> Well, I mean political figures.
00:33:53
>> My best friend Jim Gaffigan
00:33:56
did.
00:33:57
>> Oh, that's right.
00:33:58
>> He did a great Tim Walls. Um, I when I
00:34:03
read about what went on in Minneapolis
00:34:05
and the fraud and stuff, it sort of
00:34:07
makes my brain numb. I'm like, what?
00:34:11
That much money? What's going on, David?
00:34:14
What do you think?
00:34:15
>> I don't
00:34:16
>> obviously I don't know. But it seems
00:34:18
like a little bit of if there's smoke,
00:34:20
there's fire, but I don't know how much
00:34:21
fire.
00:34:22
>> But Minneapolis, first of all, is a
00:34:23
great stand up town. I did
00:34:25
>> Yeah.
00:34:26
>> my special there
00:34:27
>> during co.
00:34:29
>> It's great. tail tail end of
00:34:30
>> co
00:34:31
>> but you know these things that are get
00:34:34
blown up in cities you don't know if
00:34:36
it's like you land and then this is all
00:34:39
you see
00:34:41
>> is Somali's and you see corruption it's
00:34:45
usually a little more in pockets
00:34:48
>> isolated in in pockets if there's a riot
00:34:51
at UC Berkeley most of the campus is
00:34:54
dead quiet
00:34:55
>> or even all the city of San Francisco
00:34:57
you're like oh you can't go step foot in
00:34:58
there Yeah,
00:34:59
>> but which has happened because I've gone
00:35:01
to cities where they say are a disaster
00:35:02
and
00:35:04
>> you know some of it I see some of it I
00:35:05
don't because it's not the whole place
00:35:07
>> but there is there is some uh trouble in
00:35:11
doggy land as Steve Martin used to say.
00:35:15
>> Steve Martin used to go I wrote a few
00:35:17
books this summer I wrote uh trouble in
00:35:19
doggy land.
00:35:22
Uh but there is some I know I don't know
00:35:24
why I thought that was funny as a kid.
00:35:26
Um,
00:35:27
>> I love it now. So, it's so silly,
00:35:30
>> but let's hope they um we'll skim over
00:35:33
that. But I think something's going on
00:35:34
up there. Who knows?
00:35:37
>> Well,
00:35:37
>> I think why people get mad is if you're
00:35:39
a average everyday citizen going to work
00:35:41
and paying your taxes and you're finding
00:35:43
out this or some other situation where
00:35:46
people get money, people get taken care
00:35:47
of, people get help, and you're like,
00:35:49
"What about me? I'm playing by all the
00:35:52
rules." Not me personally, but you know,
00:35:54
people that just go, I bust my ass for
00:35:55
years and years. Where's my free?
00:35:58
Where's my Why am I Why am I doing this?
00:36:00
Makes me not want to pay taxes. I'll
00:36:02
tell you that. When they go somewhere
00:36:04
you don't know, to a highspeed rail or
00:36:06
something in LA, you go,
00:36:08
>> I I hate it.
00:36:08
>> I know. I wish I could when I hand my
00:36:11
check over to the IRS, you know, just
00:36:13
hand it to them. Go, hey guys, could I
00:36:15
just say something for a second? Could
00:36:18
you I'm so glad that I was lucky in life
00:36:21
and I made this much money and like
00:36:23
Arnold used to say, I love paying taxes
00:36:26
because it meant I have a really good
00:36:28
year. I made a lot of money, but what I
00:36:31
would like to say to them,
00:36:33
>> well, could you be really careful with
00:36:36
how you spend the money and make sure
00:36:38
the truly needy I know it's a hot take.
00:36:41
Maybe make sure the truly needy get it
00:36:44
and not not the scammers cuz like come
00:36:47
on.
00:36:48
>> I mean I think co there was so much
00:36:50
billions flying that there's no way to
00:36:52
track it all. So you just know we're
00:36:53
just going to hear about all these scams
00:36:55
and corruption in a couple years which
00:36:57
is tough because everyone's trying to
00:36:59
help and then it always I mean you can't
00:37:00
even track a hundred million. Try a
00:37:02
billion try
00:37:04
>> 20 20 billion. Where where did it go? I
00:37:07
don't know. What are you asking me for?
00:37:09
because you're the secretary treasur of
00:37:10
state of California. I I don't know
00:37:14
where the 20 billion went.
00:37:16
>> Listen, if I'm in charge of 20 billion,
00:37:18
a couple cenotes are going to my pocket.
00:37:20
No one's going to be the wiser. I mean,
00:37:21
that's just the way it is.
00:37:23
>> But it's nobody It's a human thing. If
00:37:25
you if you had a company that had a
00:37:27
monopoly um a complete monopoly, they
00:37:30
would just be a little it'd be a little
00:37:32
dysfunctional. So, HUD gets about 500
00:37:36
billion a year sent to it. spread it
00:37:38
around. You know,
00:37:39
>> no one even asks what happens like
00:37:41
>> Oh, no. You have to spend all the money
00:37:44
so you can get the funding you for the
00:37:46
following year. You can't say, you know,
00:37:48
we're HUD. We took care of everyone.
00:37:50
Here's a hundred billion back,
00:37:53
>> right? That doesn't happen that much.
00:37:54
>> I don't know. I I I may run for
00:37:57
governor. I
00:37:58
>> Yeah,
00:37:59
>> I would vote for you.
00:38:00
>> Thank you.
00:38:01
>> Just to hear the impressions.
00:38:03
>> I'll run as Al Gore. Uh, and what else?
00:38:07
Oh, yeah. Let's go to more stories.
00:38:09
Greg, throw up a story and then I'll
00:38:10
give you some movies.
00:38:12
>> Okay.
00:38:14
>> Any stories? Greg, wake up.
00:38:16
>> Mhm.
00:38:17
>> Wake up. Like our audience.
00:38:20
>> Oh, young left.
00:38:24
>> Wait. Young dator confront a
00:38:26
relationship killer. The swag gap. So,
00:38:29
are they saying one of the people has a
00:38:31
great style and one doesn't? Bieber is
00:38:34
sort of known for a style. I mean, Haley
00:38:37
Bieber obviously looks great and she
00:38:39
always just
00:38:40
>> Well, this is this is a classic thing of
00:38:43
like
00:38:44
>> Chandler and Jackie.
00:38:46
>> We're in
00:38:48
2026 now and women
00:38:51
>> generally speaking have to show a lot of
00:38:54
skin. You know, men would be at a he
00:38:57
might could be in a tuxedo, but men are
00:38:59
all covered up and women have to show. I
00:39:02
mean, women are freezing half the time.
00:39:05
They're just I don't I don't know
00:39:07
Heather can weigh in on this, but seems
00:39:09
that seems very cold. Uh if if it's like
00:39:13
40° out there, but
00:39:14
>> is it for her? You mean
00:39:16
>> for for her?
00:39:17
>> Well, he's wearing shorts, too.
00:39:19
>> Well, yeah, it's in this particular
00:39:21
case. Yes. But the other thing and maybe
00:39:26
Adam, our good friend Adam Sandler was
00:39:28
the first one to adapt,
00:39:31
you know, really loose loose sweatpants,
00:39:34
you know, I mean, has a look or shorts
00:39:36
and then I think all the young people
00:39:39
just are basically doing Adam Sandler.
00:39:41
>> Yeah. I think there's comfortable. Well,
00:39:43
I think guys can get away with even just
00:39:45
a white t-shirt or a black t-shirt and
00:39:47
jeans and I think that's kind of baked
00:39:49
in and the and the and and the women
00:39:51
have more pressure to sort of doll up. I
00:39:53
do like women when they're in sweats and
00:39:55
sweatshirts and very casual. I think
00:39:56
it's super cute, but big banana clip in
00:39:59
their hair,
00:40:00
>> but I I don't know if this is as big of
00:40:03
a of a problem in the world as we think.
00:40:06
The swag gap. Uh, I think it's one of
00:40:08
those things for a story for a week and
00:40:10
then
00:40:10
>> Well, Justin be he's worth 300 million.
00:40:13
She's on her way to a billion with her
00:40:15
product line. So, they're probably not a
00:40:17
typical couple to talk about.
00:40:20
>> Is money any problem for them?
00:40:22
>> Uh, it's no longer an issue.
00:40:25
>> What do you mean not an issue? Well,
00:40:27
it's just not a not an issue at all.
00:40:29
>> No.
00:40:29
>> No.
00:40:33
>> Well, before I do the next story, let me
00:40:34
throw in my top movies of the year.
00:40:37
Okay,
00:40:37
>> this is a big story. My top movies.
00:40:39
>> I'm actually I'm actually curious.
00:40:42
>> Okay, I would say at number five, The
00:40:45
Housemaid.
00:40:47
>> Did you see it?
00:40:48
>> I did not see it, but
00:40:50
>> I feel like that's going to fall around
00:40:53
five. Um, I will say Beonia
00:40:57
>> Mhm.
00:41:00
>> is very interesting.
00:41:01
>> I haven't seen it, but I like the actors
00:41:04
in it. Jesse Clemon Stone and Clemens.
00:41:08
>> I like the premise of it.
00:41:10
>> His buddy is great.
00:41:12
>> Conspiratorial guys think she's an alien
00:41:14
or something. Yeah.
00:41:15
>> Yeah. And I mean it's a little rough on
00:41:18
the edges. Like it's not as hard. I mean
00:41:21
it's not as easy to predict as I
00:41:22
thought, but it's very interesting.
00:41:25
Obviously great director. Well done.
00:41:27
>> That's the kind that we're when I
00:41:29
because I do movies. I'm in the
00:41:31
business.
00:41:32
So I uh I could tell it didn't cost as
00:41:35
much as it could and
00:41:37
>> one single location if you hold a
00:41:40
hostage.
00:41:41
>> It's pretty much a hostage movie and
00:41:43
>> and you go oh my god that's such a and
00:41:46
they have a lot of dialogue which was
00:41:47
making me crazy because when
00:41:49
>> I was just thinking of Jesse Plums he
00:41:51
has a lot of speeches like oh
00:41:53
>> that kid that young
00:41:55
man
00:41:55
>> he looked really cool in it too. And
00:41:57
Emma Stone again from Arizona again
00:42:02
does a great job.
00:42:03
>> She just knows how to do this. She can't
00:42:06
not be great. Um
00:42:08
>> she plays like a cocky executive and and
00:42:11
with a lot of executive corporate speak
00:42:13
when she's talking to her kidnappers.
00:42:15
It's kind of funny. It's It's funny in
00:42:17
parts also.
00:42:18
>> She's uh she's something else. What was
00:42:21
the movie she did with Ryan Gosling
00:42:22
where they're dancing all around LA?
00:42:24
>> La La Land. La La Land. So, she gave me
00:42:27
a nice compliment at a Saturday Night
00:42:28
Live party. She's very sweet and she
00:42:31
>> was such a fan that we're going down the
00:42:34
hallway and she goes, "Let's get a
00:42:36
picture. Let's redo the picture." So, it
00:42:37
was the cast I was with with Love Its
00:42:39
and Phil and Nora and I got in a
00:42:42
position like I did from the 80s and
00:42:45
then she took Janet Hooks's thing and
00:42:47
really other friends around and took
00:42:49
this picture
00:42:50
>> and then at the party she said some nice
00:42:52
things, some really sweet things to me
00:42:54
and so I said, "Yeah, I just want to say
00:42:57
that one of the best pieces of acting
00:43:00
I've seen in film is in La La Land when
00:43:02
you bombed the audition and they weren't
00:43:05
paying attention to do and the way she
00:43:08
slowly the camera stayed on her and she
00:43:10
started to cry. I mean, it was pretty
00:43:12
spectacular.
00:43:12
>> You know, you're good at uh you pick a
00:43:14
specific thing instead of a general
00:43:16
thing.
00:43:16
>> Yeah. You can't say you're just great.
00:43:18
That means nothing.
00:43:19
>> I say you're good in the acting
00:43:21
business.
00:43:22
>> I just say to you, I'd say uh Dandelion,
00:43:25
that first joke that you did did about
00:43:29
um corn dogs.
00:43:32
>> Good guess.
00:43:35
Nothing important. My whole special not
00:43:38
really tackling.
00:43:39
>> It is a comedy special.
00:43:41
>> I know it's a comedy special. That was
00:43:43
on Amazon. Meep.
00:43:45
>> Okay. What are your other movies?
00:43:46
Because I can't even remember the
00:43:47
movies.
00:43:48
>> That might be my list. Let me see if I
00:43:50
can
00:43:50
>> What are the What are the big movies? I
00:43:52
mean, I would say for me off top of my
00:43:54
head, I thought we weapons was
00:43:56
>> Oh, yeah. you liked weapons, which I'll
00:43:58
I'll put in the top five cuz you like
00:43:59
>> But I will say, and it was a conscious
00:44:02
choice on their part, because they
00:44:04
didn't do a feel-good ending.
00:44:07
I'm saying minimum hundred million
00:44:09
dollars they lost.
00:44:11
>> Oh, right. I know what you mean. I've
00:44:13
heard of movies go back
00:44:15
>> and redo it.
00:44:15
>> We just heard this. Rob Reiner,
00:44:19
I think it's maybe it's when Harry met
00:44:21
Sally,
00:44:22
>> his wife. Yeah. He met his wife during
00:44:25
the filming and then she said, "How does
00:44:27
it end?" And she goes, "I wouldn't do
00:44:29
that." Isn't that cool?
00:44:32
>> And you Yeah. And over time she
00:44:36
probably has that kind of thing. She
00:44:38
could a woman could say,
00:44:40
>> right? You need that perspective to say,
00:44:42
but a happy ending, especially a movie
00:44:44
like that is really the way to go. I
00:44:47
mean,
00:44:47
>> well, our guy uh Kevin Ol, he was upset
00:44:50
because Marty Supreme is another movie
00:44:52
that is really great. um gave so much
00:44:55
Oh, we didn't even air him yet.
00:44:56
>> And the ending
00:44:59
>> is sort of controversial, but yeah.
00:45:03
>> Yeah, he was blabbing. So, uh it was
00:45:05
good to hear that. So, uh yeah, that'll
00:45:07
be
00:45:07
>> There weren't really any spoilers,
00:45:08
though, because he said I you know, he
00:45:10
knew he would have got in trouble, but
00:45:12
he gave real opinions about it.
00:45:14
>> He did. He had a lot to say about the
00:45:15
movie. It's just Stay tuned to that
00:45:18
podcast. It'll be interesting.
00:45:19
>> Okay, so here's my summer three. I want
00:45:21
to go ahead
00:45:22
>> hear your choice of this the summer
00:45:24
three which was the latest Mission
00:45:26
Impossible the submarine sequence
00:45:28
>> F1 with Brad Pitt
00:45:30
>> Fu yeah
00:45:32
>> or Scarlett Johansson and the new
00:45:34
Jurassic Park. Those are the three
00:45:36
summer big movie tent pole movie
00:45:39
>> busters.
00:45:39
>> Busters
00:45:40
>> out of those.
00:45:42
>> Yeah, you have five seconds.
00:45:44
>> I mean Jurassic Park is out because it's
00:45:47
the same movie every time. Um, Avatar,
00:45:51
the first two hours I thought it was the
00:45:52
Smurfs movie and also Avatar that talk
00:45:56
about the same movie. I'm like, do I
00:45:58
want to see poor James Cameron?
00:45:59
Obviously,
00:46:00
>> poor James Cameron.
00:46:02
>> Poor James Cameron. Money's is an issue
00:46:04
for him and issue
00:46:06
>> and also that he he I can predict it's
00:46:10
like the locals are being picked on by
00:46:13
some big government thing and they're
00:46:14
shooting arrows at them and they and
00:46:16
it's just that was the first couple I've
00:46:18
seen. the first five I saw and now
00:46:20
there's nine more coming. If I was him,
00:46:24
because there's a rumor he's going to do
00:46:25
this other movie and I was like that
00:46:26
other movie sounds cooler,
00:46:29
like Fantastic Voyage or something.
00:46:31
>> Yeah. I would divide movies this way.
00:46:33
Movies that you connect to and movies
00:46:36
that you don't connect to. So the ones
00:46:38
you connect to, you can go into sort of
00:46:41
a waking dream state. And that's what a
00:46:44
great movie is for. And it's an
00:46:45
individual taste. If you're inside Three
00:46:48
Days of the Condor, you're just inside
00:46:50
this fever dream of this great movie.
00:46:53
Um, Avatar is not on that list for me.
00:46:56
2001, Alien. Um,
00:46:59
>> great.
00:46:59
>> I mean, you know, James Cameron, he's
00:47:02
brilliant, you know. Um, so, but I of
00:47:07
the three, you know, the one that got me
00:47:08
the most was a Jurassic Park of those
00:47:11
summer blockbusters.
00:47:12
>> It did. I thought it mixed it up enough
00:47:16
and I got I got connected to the movie.
00:47:18
Uh I also I enjoyed F1.
00:47:22
All three did well because
00:47:24
>> how many people are going to go to a
00:47:26
movie theater when they've got a 75 in
00:47:28
you with surround sound. So they the
00:47:31
fact that they
00:47:32
>> have that not everyone else.
00:47:34
>> Uh money's not an issue but even you
00:47:36
know for a homeless person money's not
00:47:39
>> my new book.
00:47:40
>> Money is not an issue.
00:47:42
>> Yeah. or that's your next special.
00:47:44
>> That's a good special. [ __ ] I gotta do
00:47:46
another special if I got that title.
00:47:47
>> But I will say this right now as a blink
00:47:50
thing.
00:47:51
>> Yeah,
00:47:51
>> without giving it away. Housemade
00:47:56
might be the the movie that I connected
00:47:58
to the most.
00:47:59
>> A Sleeper. Wow. Okay.
00:48:01
>> And I'm going to see it again. Okay.
00:48:04
>> It I'll bring my wife because um and I
00:48:07
won't give it away, but it's just
00:48:09
something. It's It's surprising. It's
00:48:12
emotional.
00:48:13
>> I'll see it. I'll see it. Then we'll
00:48:15
talk and we can give it away. But are
00:48:17
you gonna see it at your local Beiju up
00:48:19
there?
00:48:19
>> I did see it at a theater up here.
00:48:22
Stadium seating.
00:48:23
>> They have up there.
00:48:24
>> Oh yeah. Stadium sitting in the back in
00:48:27
the dark. Popcorn lightly salted. Little
00:48:30
ice cold so soda.
00:48:33
>> Cell phone clicked off.
00:48:35
>> Silent.
00:48:36
>> 35 minutes of previews. Yes. 40 minutes
00:48:40
of commercials.
00:48:41
>> She didn't believe him, but he wanted to
00:48:44
kill her. You know, come on movie.
00:48:46
>> Then Nicole Kidman clip Klopp walking
00:48:49
her heels. AMC, we got it. You sit down.
00:48:52
Get lost. Move on.
00:48:54
>> Nicole Kidman is a force of nature. I
00:48:56
don't know.
00:48:57
>> You know, my favorite is the Dolby
00:48:58
commercial. It's like Dolby sound. They
00:49:01
show they interview directors. I'm like,
00:49:02
do I have a choice of the sound in a
00:49:04
movie? I Why are you selling this to me?
00:49:07
I'm here. I didn't make the movie. I'm
00:49:09
not gonna go pick Dolby. I don't know
00:49:11
what's going on.
00:49:13
>> They go, we do all our movies in Dolby.
00:49:15
>> In Dolby sound.
00:49:17
>> We used to do it.
00:49:19
>> We used to have a system called Loud
00:49:21
Sound.
00:49:22
>> Yeah.
00:49:23
>> Loud Sound was the loudest sound you can
00:49:25
get. Now we have Dolby. Now we have
00:49:28
Shaker Brain Sound. Sometimes it's right
00:49:31
on the edge. Sometimes it's kind of like
00:49:34
>> It's so loud. I wear earplugs. Don't
00:49:36
even
00:49:36
>> Do you really? Geez, dandy. Geez,
00:49:38
dandelion.
00:49:39
>> Okay, I put two little bucket.
00:49:43
>> But but but we had Paul Fig on our
00:49:48
>> Oh, there you go. We have Paul Fig on
00:49:49
our And now I'm saying that maybe his
00:49:52
movie was the one that I got me the most
00:49:55
this year. Sydney Sweeney, too.
00:49:57
>> Wait, Heather, tell me before we move
00:49:58
on. What was the movie you said I liked?
00:50:01
>> Oh, I was just asked about Marty
00:50:02
Supreme.
00:50:03
>> Oh, Marty Supreme. I didn't I didn't see
00:50:06
it yet, but I will. So, my top movies
00:50:08
are at number five, Housemade. I didn't
00:50:10
see
00:50:12
>> is up toward the top. I did see.
00:50:14
>> Mhm.
00:50:15
>> And the other ones we don't know yet.
00:50:17
>> Uh, should we throw a bone to our buddy
00:50:20
Jack Black? Because when he came on,
00:50:23
writ
00:50:24
>> Minecraft.
00:50:26
>> Oh, Minecraft.
00:50:26
>> And we broke Yeah. We did you I Yeah,
00:50:29
but we broke down the numbers for him
00:50:31
and he goes,
00:50:32
>> "It'd be great if it went to 800
00:50:34
million." I said, "It's going to a
00:50:35
billion. Guess where it just crossed
00:50:37
about two weeks ago."
00:50:38
>> A B 1 billion.
00:50:41
>> I did like that he did Anaconda, which I
00:50:43
probably will see because it's a comedy
00:50:45
and there's just not that many that. And
00:50:47
I like him and I like Paul Rudd. So
00:50:49
>> yeah, that sounds like something that
00:50:50
would be funny.
00:50:51
>> And also like they're making Anaconda.
00:50:53
They're not just doing the movie.
00:50:54
They're like it's like a behind the
00:50:55
scenes or something weird. I like the
00:50:57
angle.
00:50:58
>> Uhhuh. I I love um Anaconda movies where
00:51:02
someone's
00:51:04
uh being swallowed and their legs are
00:51:06
outside the jaws going like this.
00:51:08
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:09
>> GET A GET A ROPE AND THEY NEVER
00:51:12
>> in the JLo one. It it got her.
00:51:15
>> You remember this part? And it was
00:51:17
squeezing her so hard that her butt kept
00:51:18
getting bigger.
00:51:22
>> And then the box office receipts got
00:51:24
bigger. And then the snake goes, "Ooh la
00:51:26
la." Then he forgot what he's doing and
00:51:27
he left.
00:51:29
>> Yeah. And the snake's eating a mouse and
00:51:31
kind of goes, "What?"
00:51:35
>> Yeah. How big are the mice you have to
00:51:37
feed that anaconda? It's 80 ft long.
00:51:39
>> I don't know. It's a rough life for an
00:51:41
anaconda. He's got a tire in there. He's
00:51:43
got a small refrigerator in there. I
00:51:45
mean, he's constipated. I mean, it's not
00:51:48
a good life. What they They don't know
00:51:50
what they're eating.
00:51:51
>> An old radiator. He's like
00:51:54
Okay.
00:51:54
>> Yeah. So, that's and then predictions.
00:51:57
Any quick blink 2026 predictions?
00:52:01
>> No. We do have more stories, but let's
00:52:04
see.
00:52:04
>> Oh, let's let's get let's get a story.
00:52:06
Give me a give me a story.
00:52:07
>> Give me anything.
00:52:09
>> Mhm. Oh, yes.
00:52:12
>> Oh, how Sweden repairs potholes. This is
00:52:14
needed on Fairfax and Los. I like this.
00:52:22
Is that part of it or is that a song?
00:52:25
>> They just spray it and that's it.
00:52:27
>> They spray it with tar, right?
00:52:29
>> But then what? Then
00:52:30
>> if you look, there's not really a
00:52:31
pothole there. But they're demonstrating
00:52:33
it that you fill it up and make it
00:52:34
smooth.
00:52:35
>> But does it how how soon does it dry?
00:52:38
You don't you have to coordinate.
00:52:41
>> Really?
00:52:42
>> I don't know.
00:52:43
>> Oh, that was a pretty good guess. Well,
00:52:45
it's Yeah. All right. Well, maybe I'll
00:52:48
just buy one of these machines and then
00:52:49
casually at night go down there and go.
00:52:53
>> Everything's coming from the sky now.
00:52:55
Grocery, everything. Asphalt fixers,
00:52:58
horses will be delivered, everything.
00:53:00
>> It's a good biz. Oh, watch this one.
00:53:01
This is funny. This is a This is a weird
00:53:03
one and you're going to like it.
00:53:08
>> Hear the world changing news that David
00:53:11
Spade and Dana Carney skied last week
00:53:13
down the tallest mountain in Antarctica.
00:53:16
No one has ever skied down it. This is
00:53:18
in the center of Antarctica. And that is
00:53:19
David Spade there. You can see he's
00:53:21
quite professioner at skiing. A lot of
00:53:23
people are like, I knew David Spade was
00:53:25
a comedian. I knew Dana Carney was a
00:53:27
comedian, an actor laborer from the
00:53:29
Hollywoods. We didn't know they could
00:53:30
ski. Well, they can. Uh they had their
00:53:33
stuff shipped up to the top of the
00:53:35
mountain. Um because they I'm going to
00:53:37
call up it with skis on their backs.
00:53:40
This is them hiking up it. They're also
00:53:42
fantastic.
00:53:43
>> 35,000 views. She's getting more because
00:53:46
this wasn't an easy mountain to summit.
00:53:49
Everyone can't believe that was our guy
00:53:51
helicopter delivering their skis. And
00:53:53
then you can see here from this view, uh
00:53:55
there's Dana Carvey right there in uh
00:53:58
and he is very good at skiing as well.
00:54:00
And I just want to say to both of them,
00:54:03
you're inspiring. Three versions of my
00:54:05
last asking what's next? What are you
00:54:07
guys going to do next? Everyone's asking
00:54:09
>> we do next. We're going to make a video
00:54:10
about you skiing down a hill. Okay. How
00:54:14
about that,
00:54:15
>> dude? I'm still sore from that cuz my
00:54:17
quads really took it on that drop.
00:54:20
>> I actually uh my legs were so oversized
00:54:24
for my body, I have to kind of hide
00:54:26
them, you know.
00:54:27
>> I remember I went golfing with Sandler
00:54:29
once and I had just basic running shorts
00:54:31
on. He goes, "Carvey, what's with your
00:54:34
legs?" Because they from running. I was
00:54:38
like a T-Rex. I had no upper body and
00:54:40
giant legs from running.
00:54:44
He sometimes when we're bored it's laid
00:54:46
on a shoot. He talks about your legs.
00:54:49
>> Uh I like him now because you don't want
00:54:52
to have little pins at my age. You want
00:54:54
to have big stout chunky legs.
00:54:56
>> I have Carrie Underwood legs. I'm not
00:54:57
worried about me. Other people's words.
00:55:00
>> Uh they're a little feminine. Yeah. I
00:55:03
>> Wait a second. Shaved.
00:55:05
>> When you hosted SNL did, weren't you
00:55:07
kind of barelegged or something?
00:55:10
>> I did. Uh, I hate when they make you
00:55:12
take your shirt off on us now. I can't
00:55:13
stand it.
00:55:14
>> Well, he can't make you.
00:55:16
>> I go, I have to. Lauren will get mad.
00:55:18
>> Um, I take my shirt off all the time.
00:55:21
You just don't see it.
00:55:23
>> Lauren takes it off halfway through read
00:55:24
through. Anyone else hot?
00:55:28
>> Um, it'd be really nice if 2026 started
00:55:32
off with like a really good show as
00:55:34
opposed to a bad
00:55:35
>> funny sketches. Uh, Marcelo, maybe
00:55:38
Sebastian.
00:55:42
>> I love when because writers really don't
00:55:45
like reoccurring as much, but when
00:55:47
Lauren got a hold of a hit, you'd be
00:55:49
like, "Oh, could we do a bush?" You
00:55:51
know, it's like,
00:55:52
>> yeah, senior. But yeah, Marcelo should
00:55:55
bring bring him back
00:55:57
>> and put him in a situation like he's at
00:55:59
a car wash or something where he does
00:56:01
all his
00:56:02
>> a regular job or something.
00:56:04
>> Yeah. or he's in some situation that's
00:56:06
that you wouldn't expect him to do all
00:56:08
that stuff, you know?
00:56:10
>> Maybe he gets a traffic ticket.
00:56:12
>> You go in my car over here within the L,
00:56:15
you know? I don't know.
00:56:16
>> He has to ask the cop if he can get out
00:56:17
so he can do all his [ __ ] moves.
00:56:19
>> Yeah.
00:56:20
>> I have a question. Can I get out of the
00:56:22
car, sir?
00:56:22
>> Well, that's good. He's got a
00:56:23
reoccurring impression. That's good.
00:56:26
>> Yeah. All right. Well, let's wrap it up
00:56:27
on that. Um
00:56:29
>> exciting to see you. Um, and uh, thank
00:56:32
you for listening everyone. The numbers
00:56:34
are phenomenal. We're doing great.
00:56:37
>> We're doing We're just unbelievable.
00:56:38
Every time I go on the chart, I go,
00:56:40
"Really?" And then I always look at the
00:56:41
podcast rank behind us. That's my guilty
00:56:43
pleasure. I'm like, "Oh, I can't believe
00:56:45
it." 128.
00:56:49
>> No, we don't.
00:56:50
>> When you see someone that's bombing,
00:56:52
it's too stressful.
00:56:53
>> There's There's three million of them.
00:56:56
128's awesome.
00:56:57
>> There's literally three million
00:56:58
podcasts. Yeah,
00:56:59
>> we aren't 128, so don't think that.
00:57:01
>> No, no, no. That's the some of our
00:57:03
people we know. We're
00:57:04
>> okay.
00:57:05
>> We're killing it.
00:57:06
>> Crushing.
00:57:06
>> All right, listen everybody.
00:57:08
>> Happy happy 2026 and uh enjoy the ride
00:57:13
and we'll we'll see you next year. We'll
00:57:15
see you throughout the year. We're going
00:57:17
to be your guide through 2026.
00:57:24
Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast,
00:57:26
which you are, be sure to click follow
00:57:28
on your favorite podcast app. Give us a
00:57:30
review, fivestar rating, and maybe even
00:57:33
share an episode that you've loved with
00:57:35
a friend. If you're watching this
00:57:36
episode on YouTube, please subscribe.
00:57:38
We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is
00:57:41
presented by Odyssey, an executive
00:57:43
produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade,
00:57:45
Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman,
00:57:47
Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah Reese
00:57:50
Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer
00:57:52
is Greg Holtzman, and the show is
00:57:53
produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech.
00:57:57
Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.
00:57:59
Special thanks to Patrick Fogerty, Evan
00:58:02
Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester,
00:58:06
Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin
00:58:09
Gainner, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtourtney,
00:58:13
and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out with us
00:58:15
any questions be asked and answered on
00:58:17
the show. You can email us at fly
00:58:19
onthealla.com.
00:58:22
That's audacy.com.
