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[Music] welcome to La have a nice
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robbery where everyone knows your name should I be
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eating yes okay what else we got for [Music]
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him okay welcome to episode whatever of Superfly we have a terrific Terrific
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show planned for you I never I almost was a talk show host they offered me a
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few times so I just feel like I can do a little bit of what I would we have a tremendous show planned for you today
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there's a lot of older words that those old hosts used to say like fantastic terrific I do like those words they're
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just not out there as much as they used to be I know really terrific act we got on tonight really fantastic well Arnold
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Arnold took fantastic and made it his his word vantastic oh fantastic let's do
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it together vantastic he goes from well Oxford dictionary we say the
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pronunciation is fantastic years later Bavarian muscle builder Arnold S said
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fantastic it's it's in here fantastic fantastic watch this I'm going to do a
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thumbnail D it this is when they do the YouTube and it's like you click on it it's so outrageous it's like crazy this
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is my thumbnail David Spade David Spade says something
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outrageous today and I'm like this now to yours Dana Carvey finds pot of
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golden backyard now what's your funny
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face that's I'd be like this that's no one's clicking on yours you gotta be like
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this Dana discovers discovers who who discovered the first
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duck duck face I'm kind of Punchy duck face don't make fun of women of a
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certain age click on this one how about this Dana Carvey Dana Carvey schools
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David Spade no it's got to be like oh I see
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you're not clicking on mellow things you got to click on crazy photos Dana Carvey challenges Mike Tyson to a fight this is
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a good one okay uh so this weekend I did I did the eveni with Nikki Glazer we had a
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blast oh yeah she's all the she's hot ah
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she's she's like water she's everywhere yeah she's doing a lot and she was a lot of fun we laughed her asses off she's
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always a good laugher a good comedian to hang out with is one that's a good laugher they don't be tight on their own
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jokes and laugh at their own stuff they laugh at other things she does that we went to the pool the next day now it
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wasn't too boiling yet but some they they call up they're always like we got a great deal for you if you want to go
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to the pool 11 Grand you get free fruit plate you know it's it's always like
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some scam so oh it's not 11 Grand but there are Heather there's probably
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Cabanas at the pool for 10 20,000 right easily and if you're at Encore Beach Club yeah not I'm not at the holiday in
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in 1966 like pulling up a you know with the plastic on it laying on I'm not at
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Howard Johnson's in 1968 yeah my effects don't even relate
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to the story so I'm there a juicy Cabana and
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then they go o it comes with a fruit plate that's all I cared about I will
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tell you this I can't even tell you it's too embarrassing but I will tell you they charge you a
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food uh stipend and then right it's minimum what you can get so you might as well order because you're paying they
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could sort of split it from here's how much the caban is here how much food is and you're never going to spend that much and the guy goes don't be surprised
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it adds up quickly I go I know it does when it's $884 there's some corn nuts so
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I say where's there's a beverage charge yeah there's everything so I go there's always the added on charges yeah here's
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what I get mad about all I want is this chromy ass fruit plate and it's not even
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that big it's like you know it's this this isn't enough but it's this big because it fits in this picture let's
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say and there's an assortment guess what it is here's the
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percentiles that crummy ass [ __ ] honeydew green melon is
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40% 22% is regular cantaloupe I like
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right and then they go real heavy on the dragon fruit which I didn't know was
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from Game of Thrones I don't know where it's from I don't know what it is is that dragon fruit Greg might be able to
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pull up a picture never heard of it it's [ __ ] I don't know if it's any good I'm scared of it and no one eats it
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that's the big problem no one's demanding where's more dragon fruit they're like no give me things I've
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heard of grapes I'll take the basics but they really jacked me dude I I'm still
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no human being oh here it is oh here's some okay get that one split open look
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in the middle it looks like a p pomegranate yeah it's a it's it's a
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pomegranate it doesn't look tasty pomegranate it looks like frozen yogurt
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with sea you know I'm out it looks like a seventh grade school
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project of like an antill I would don't try to [ __ ] me dragon fruit that's all
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okay that's all that's the why would anyone who's headlining lost fa so you got to do 90 minutes on the toes to 2000
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people that night you're hanging out in a cabana eating fruit all day shouldn't you be napping and looking at your
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notes napping and noting no I don't do that I I know my
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ACT by now and when with Nikki I don't do a full hour she does 40 I do 45 so
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it's it's easier we had great crowds I it was really great we we did have a good time um but we'll get into the
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subjects there we got to get into the headlines got a lot to do uh let's start
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with one thing you were talking about recently which was student loans and there's some forgiveness going on I saw that on two different channels so it
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must be real and this feeling explain it to me a little bit because I don't quite
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know EX L What It Is Well years ago I'm not even sure when
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it started but the federal government decided to guarantee loans you know to loan people to kids young people to go
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to college I got one so that's how it started and then and then the har people
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and all the other people said I think we could ra I think we could raise our tuitions a little bit since it's alone
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you know so it escalated the whole thing so then it's like 50 70,000 a year and
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you're taking out these loans uh you're supposed to pay them back to the government but maybe you
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have 300,000 in loans and you have just a bachelor arts degree in
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Civics oh do they give you that much mine was Community College so it was 30,000 I think well yeah there's been
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inflation and also you know crazy baby boomer parents you know with the whole
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laor Laughlin issue and I didn't blame her at all either they if you get for sure yeah if you get your kid kid in
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certain colleges life is perfect forever and it was just enabling baby boomer parents uh Gone Wild but um now Biden
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has it's billions of student loans that he's forgiven through a federal order
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although the Supreme Court said it was stepping outside the lines but he's found a way to do it and he just did some yesterday I don't know how was it
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1.7 billion forgiven 7.7 billion I saw on TV
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yesterday on Channel five local news um but it said but I think there's been
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some in the past so that means the people is it everybody that has one or just a certain amount because I paid
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back my 3,000 it took me forever uh I had 2500 I know well College was cheap
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then but you were to Community College I was in San Francisco State which was but here here's I paid mine with corn it was
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cheap back then here's the tricky part there's some man or woman somewhere last week going
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well Mom and Dad I want to announce to you that all by myself I'm now 48 years
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of age but I've paid off all my student loans wheo it was tough and I worked triple time but I paid him back because
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I borrowed him and promised to pay him back next day just is online what the
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[ __ ] they don't have to pay theirs back and I just paid my back that's the tricky part yeah I guess it it is it's
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unfair to someone it's unfair to half the crowd that paid him off or that said I can't go to college because I have to
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work I can't afford it and I can't take a loan out and I can't afford to pay it back I get it so I see I see both sides
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I see it's a tricky issue you know something cynics a cynical person might
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think that Biden is doing that to buy votes and that's insane but uh yeah I'm gonna get off say
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the votes you don't have to pay pay it back you know he get showed up
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stop yeah he was in the waiting room on Zoom I let him in okay sir should you really be
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forgiving 7 point are you sure you want to do this with the loan yeah I'm I've
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forgiven more loans him is ever given the loans loone loone shark a shark alone a shark tank a shark tank a tank a
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tank a Tinker Toys Tinker Toys Can't Believe It's Not Butter we got the meat
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we got we got the meat we got the meat we got the meat from Arby's oh
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got the meat yeah we got we got we got the meat but anyway that's a tricky a
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tricky uh thing and um I have mixed feelings about it I'm happy for the people but I didn't understand when they
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were saying uh when they were mad at Harvard M at these places recently that there's people that people
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are saying I'm going to pull my donations I donated $10 million this
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place I didn't know they are stockpiling billions I didn't know it was that high
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I thought that 10 million really meant something you're going to name a building and I go oh they said well
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Harvard has 26 billion I'm like huh last I check it's over 40 billion
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they have very very clever people the Harvard model it's Timber it's shopping malls it's it's This brilliant model and
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these the the students kept paying more and then then and then you know the gym teacher was getting 2 million a year and
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everyone got rich and and the school got rich but I think they have 40 billion in the bank you think that maybe they
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should guarantee the loans rather than the taxpayers yeah yeah just enough of
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like come to Harvard if you can't pay your loan if you can't pay your loan back we're going to pay it for you yeah
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if they have that much money that's that's their uh bar tab don't worry about it yeah take a billion off they
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won't even notice it take a billion off yeah Bernie of course said no one should ever have to pay for
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college all colleges should be free don't proceed don't if you want to
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do Bernie Sanders for your friends at home just say the word don't proceed with a lot and keep your abs on when you
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do it don't proceed proceed that's the home kit I love
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[Music]
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it hey David can I ask you a question go right ahead um why do you want to learn
00:12:03
a new language where would you use it and how would it come in handy well I think I have to eventually go to France
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or go to one of these places and uh be a world traveler get a crowbar my wallet
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and spend some money but you know I don't I'm a little nervous about going without knowing a language and that's
00:12:21
where Rosetta Stone would come in in that scenario because yes I that's probably the best way to get in there
00:12:27
learn something get the basics and uh more than the basics if you want but
00:12:34
this is the place for sure Rosetta Stone is the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or it's an
00:12:41
app yeah and it immerses you you know that word David immerses you heard of it
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in the language you want to learn so it's not just like hey here's the language repeat after me it's like it
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makes you think in the language it makes you talk in it it gives you the actual
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local dialect so you don't you know sound like a stiff guy speech recognition built in true accent feature
00:13:06
pronunciate the words TR it's like having a personal trainer for your accent by the way 25 languages so you
00:13:15
know you got your spanish's you got your frenches you got your Italians and I
00:13:20
mean all over the globe that's not doesn't stop there no no you can you
00:13:26
will never go to a country where Rosetta Stone you're not going to trip them up no no nope nope nope that's lifetime
00:13:33
access the 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off that's a steal
00:13:40
I'm going to say it crazy yeah don't put off learning that language there's no better time than right now to get
00:13:46
started for a very limited time Superfly listeners can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for that 50% off
00:13:53
visit rosettastone.com Superfly that's 50% off unlimited accent
00:13:59
to 25 language courses for the rest of your life yeah I'm just going to say it
00:14:04
redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com Superfly today wa did you hear Terence
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Howard on Joe Rogan I thought he was very interesting did you see any of Terence Howard oh I didn't see him that
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he's the actor so smart yeah people say he doesn't know what he's talking about
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that's a cynic some people say he really does CU he talks a lot of science he knows every element the element chart he
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definitely knows more he definitely is very articulate about knowing a lot it all goes back to buram which I'm telling
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I'm always telling everyone at dinners uh and he talks about how Saturn moves and how we could make a new
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Saturn it sounds so nutty but it's definitely interesting I wish you would
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have heard it he was just going on and on I'm like this guy hey man we're here
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no one knows what we're doing here no one knows how we got here so yeah we could make another Saturn give us time
00:15:03
yeah give us time I've thought about that I thought I'm going to wait till maybe I'm not on tour but I would maybe
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try to throw together a little Saturn and maybe just for around here in La just to for people look at like
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something to do but not like to scale not like exactly as big cuz I've heard it's
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like miles wide so I would make like one like a home kit do you know if we had no
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Moon we wouldn't be here don't scare me oh we're gonna have Dr Greer on next week he's G to ask you
00:15:37
I'm going to ask about the tides and the moon and the buril UFO tides and moon
00:15:43
burum the core of the earth I can't wait we have a couple we have a couple
00:15:48
interesting guests for the old Superfly don't try to downplay Superfly everyone there's [ __ ] it's a real Think Tank
00:15:54
over here I will never apologize for this podcast do not it's a killer go to the YouTube comments
00:16:01
people like it oh okay I got another one ready oh I here's a boring story just so you can
00:16:08
tune out maybe play a commercial over this or like a side screen my buddy went in the hospital with a stomach ache and
00:16:14
they said Oh I thought it was a pentis he was in a lot of pain seven days
00:16:19
though and they said he has to get his gallbladder out now aside from being totally [ __ ] boring a
00:16:26
gallbladder what does it do again it feels like you probably need everything in your body but they just take things
00:16:33
no one knows they can yeah you can give up a gallbladder I will say gallbladder
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gets no press it gets no attention no one cares about it it's not talked about
00:16:44
they can do it it used to be a big whoopy dude now it's arthoscopic the incision is like a quarter of an inch
00:16:49
takes 10 minutes no more and sew it up slurp it out how big is it as big as
00:16:54
Texas as big as Delaware is it little is it big where is it I don't know big as
00:17:01
my it's kind of like that that's it iPhone no I you go like this this feels
00:17:07
good size yeah it's not it's and there was a there was a lot of talk of bile
00:17:13
which makes me gross out is that what it does it yeah controls the bile intake
00:17:19
the I store my bile in the kitchen oh it absorbs
00:17:26
fats well Danny like I said hey hey do you really need it come on do you really
00:17:33
need it I don't to store bile in your liver come on that sounds [ __ ] nuts
00:17:39
listen when you see bile the the the gallbladder goes like this don't proceed bile don't proceed bio how in the hell
00:17:47
is Bernie Sanders going on 84 that kind of energy I don't know he's got more energy than me his wife's like honey
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here's some oatmeal don't proceed don't proceed I'm having grape nuts this
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morning he's the last guy eating grape nuts grape nuts were not delightful they
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they they needed a lot of milk and a lot of soaking time or else they would just get in your teeth I know you were a huge
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Jackhammer no my mom tried to tried to Swindle me and switch it for grape nuts once it was healthy no chance I told her
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mom I don't want to sound like someone you know but don't proceed because I'm not proceeding with grap nuts it's
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eating rocks it's gravel and I didn't love it and I went right back to count
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Chula I like Sugar Smacks and Corn Pops I the Captain Crunch and the count
00:18:42
chocolate too too much sugar for me my healthy was when I went to Special K
00:18:47
which was a little fruy back in when you were a kid but Special K was supposed to be the healthy one it still had sugar it
00:18:55
was really they were all pure garbage let's be honest um I need Special K now instead of ice cream it has just a
00:19:01
little bit of sweetness it's made with rice it's very light it's not highend calory how I mean come on this this this
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doesn't just happen yeah you can't you know the super model looks oh speaking of which listen
00:19:17
they said Barkley our buddy Charles Barkley who uh we did SNL with love Charles Barkley he's he said some story
00:19:25
about Caitlyn Clark oh he ripped in to the petty WNBA players saying that
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because they said they don't like her because she's white straight and pretty
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and you know what I get that a lot so I related um but Charles and then they
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were on The View they were fighting about it on The View it's terrible it's terrible it's terrible come on man
00:19:55
that's Sparkle jealous come come on man I I think he's great uh as an announcer
00:20:01
besides an incredible basketball player one of the one of the best small maybe the best small forward in the history of
00:20:07
the NBA he's only like 65 he'd be down there battling out with the trees um oh yeah he likes yeah they have to remember
00:20:14
that she's going to lift all boats in the end of the day I actually the M WNBA
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is on the radar now the ratings are going up Caitlyn has you know I mean
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look the three-point shot is so rare and to shoot it like stephh Curry does as a
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woman was extraordinary to watch because she does it with such Authority I guess
00:20:37
she works out gets her legs really hard and so that was a shiny object in the
00:20:43
sports world and now WBA MBA hard to say it they probably they should change the
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title of w and then into the NBA not working they gota yeah not hookie chicks
00:20:53
with chick ball chicks with balls I didn't want to go there but I knew you would
00:20:59
I did I'll take it right to the top I take it right to the front of the line but I I I don't I don't think it's you
00:21:05
know racial I don't think it I think it's just uh she can shoot the ball like
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we've not seen a woman shoot a ball from distance like that in history so listen if you're all getting private jets
00:21:18
because of it kiss her ass I mean that's a big deal like who wants to go on Southwest I don't you know what that's a
00:21:24
big line in this think about the NBA and the WNBA is that flying commercial when
00:21:30
you're kind of famous and people know you and usually you're taller than everybody else your whole team gets on
00:21:35
the plane it's just a lot of energy and attention I don't know if you've ever flown privately but it's very different
00:21:42
experience you just get on a private you know very different Dana Dana I don't
00:21:47
know if you've ever flown commercially Dana King Lear over here King t i flown
00:21:55
Lear 45s yeah those are good J well also Cameron Brink who was a uh
00:22:03
very tall W she was a second pick in the WNBA draft if I'm not mistaken and she
00:22:09
said today she wants to be in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and I'm thinking of course like what this is the
00:22:16
no-brainer I mean she's obviously cute she's obviously in the WNBA she could do
00:22:23
it they I think the last cover was Gail King absolutely by the way the the swimsuit issue is is is a bit all over
00:22:30
the place I'll just say that so it's not just like the typical what youd think was a model 10
00:22:37
years ago they're all over and this one is actually like a model and 64 is
00:22:42
interesting throw her in there 64 is interesting would um step ladder be good
00:22:48
enough for actual ladder um athletes men and women athletes and they've done
00:22:54
Sports Illustrated things of them kind of naked from the they just have a
00:22:59
different kind of body the body issue than regular people it's very intense but I do think in the modern digital age
00:23:06
you have to stir your brand you have to do everything all this stuff brings money um you know the the line between
00:23:12
athlete and celebrity you want to get endorsements get your name out there get your likes and social media is driving
00:23:18
half or two-thirds of the country into a deep depression but man is it powerful
00:23:24
if you get into the into the uh this the
00:23:29
this this is heavy Dana all I'm ready for it if do you think that if I start
00:23:36
crying because so if I if you start crying I'm GNA pull back on this
00:23:41
question that social media obviously he blown up but the last 10
00:23:46
years it's turned into is that do you think the combination of covid and that
00:23:51
is more work from home because people feel like they're really really missing out I they used to feel like they're
00:23:57
missing out not this bad no and then they got a taste of a what I call an
00:24:03
asymmetrical life with covid and work from home and going to the pool and working like maybe four days a week and
00:24:09
less more more life and on social media you do just kind of think that everyone's on a yacht off the coast of
00:24:18
Italy and having this magic life is thrown in your face and I got a couple
00:24:23
dollars in my pocket and I feel like a peon it's like what are they doing I mean
00:24:29
so I do think it makes people question all this and I think and I think the Baby Boomers you know I'll get pop quiz
00:24:37
what what was voted the best year to be born in the history of mankind and
00:24:43
location [Music] oo is location America or is that one of
00:24:50
the America possibilities America okay America I would say 19 to be born 19 19
00:24:59
53 actually 19449 really as long as you were lucky
00:25:06
enough to get out of Vietnam that'd be you know the tragic hiccup but I have a brother born in 49 and um oh he nailed
00:25:13
you just had more of an innocent time the Beatles came on you went to college
00:25:19
it was inexpensive you could rent something near Central Park for $400 and then you get to later in life a
00:25:26
lot of Boomers are retiring now and they that you know they need a lot of money
00:25:32
you know because you could be John Lennon's roommate at the deota for $250
00:25:37
a month you could buy Jimmy Hendrick guitar for $39 but what was your first
00:25:44
rent first place you lived in how much oh some uh flea bag place in
00:25:52
Arizona in Scottdale when I got out of my mom's we lived four of us in a two
00:25:58
bedroom that was 400 and we couldn't make that happen then when I got out I
00:26:05
think I stayed with my dad my dbd dead be dad came back and said I'll split a
00:26:11
place with you and if there's a tie on the door don't come in the bedroom I'm
00:26:16
like sir what does that mean he's like do the math and so I uh I split a one bedroom
00:26:25
with two single beds and that was probably for hunky and he goes I'll split it with you and I go AR not your
00:26:32
kid have you never paid child for it you want to how about you take this one how me take this one off my
00:26:38
shoulders you guys are going out hitting on women together like is that kind of
00:26:44
father son Dynamic you know I mean what was I 1920 I was trying to scr into some
00:26:50
stand-up clubs so I didn't have women on the brain as much it was just trying to go do sets and uh he had it on the brain
00:26:58
um and he was doing great on that the Apple doesn't fall too far from the
00:27:04
tree no I didn't like I don't like my rent was $58 a month no chance
00:27:13
under 100 oh my God where near the airport it near San Francisco airport on
00:27:20
a frontage road we ate 25 cent tuna pies from Safeway we my my brother did the
00:27:27
day sh at a bar and stole potatoes and yeah we were P we didn't have a silver
00:27:34
spoon we lived on Runway 18 but go to the younger generation now
00:27:41
18 to 34 they can't buy a house they're not no one's having kids I mean America's not at replacement rate at
00:27:47
this current moment 1.7 per woman is not replacement rate the world's population
00:27:54
is shrinking and will be three billion less by the end of the century good night that's why they open the Border
00:28:00
they go we need another 10 mil quickly and they're like got it done well that's the that's the thing we
00:28:07
need we need uh you know good good uh immigration people coming in here and
00:28:13
want to be Americans and want to help and get jobs and we need a lot of people to come in here because or we're going
00:28:18
to have to have ai do the work for us and be our housemates and everything robot AI is coming you didn't you you
00:28:25
didn't think about that did you no cuz I can't I don't think AI is going to do
00:28:30
any heavy lifting it's more like we recommend this we solve problems but
00:28:36
they're not out there you know working on my car you go yeah they are no they
00:28:43
that's funny you said that because they are right now they are right now they're in factories and one robot went rogue
00:28:49
and choked a guy yeah they're giant walking robots in car car manufacturing
00:28:54
and they are doing all the work taking all the jobs have you seen the ones in La that are like little look like little
00:29:01
ice cream carts and they go down the sidewalk and they have big eyes bake eyes and they go be and then when they
00:29:07
get to you they slow down I don't know if someone's doing it remotely that can see them through a camera but they do
00:29:13
slow down they go to a light they slow down and I pull them aside I go don't you try to [ __ ] take over tell your
00:29:18
buddies we will annihilate you guys and he's like what a joke we've already won dude what a joke though that was his he
00:29:26
didn't have the robot voice yeah they they are funniest thing I
00:29:31
don't know if people have them across the country but in La there's just these little carts by themselves stopping at
00:29:37
stop lights delivering what have you ever used one I think that's like an that's like an Uber Eats kind of thing
00:29:44
isn't it Heather they they deliver food yeah yeah name oh they deliver food they
00:29:50
have a name you're supposed to name you're like hey oh yeah they yeah hey Roger boo I say you're my enemy when
00:29:58
they go by I go you're my enemy they go we're the beginning of the
00:30:05
end I was trying to get you you've ordered a Hogie I'm outside your place
00:30:10
come get your sandwich please open it up I've seen they they're also all getting robbed of
00:30:16
course in LA because there's so many so much crime so they go this is my first day on the robot job please open it and
00:30:23
take a oh why would you kick me yeah homeless guy with this Sledgehammer
00:30:28
hello my name my name is I am Bobby I bring sandwiches not
00:30:33
anymore beat the [ __ ] out of people are Sledgehammer steel food yeah just flat
00:30:40
welcome to La welcome to La have a nice robbery where everyone knows your
00:30:48
name should I be eating yes okay what else we got
00:30:55
[Music]
00:31:03
let's play a couple these things yeah I just have some stupid things on Instagram or whatever we'll see if it's
00:31:08
okay and then I've got a trump Haley thing yeah yeah got the first ever grill
00:31:15
for a dog these are the grills we made and he's excited about wearing them I could tell so the dog's name is fox and
00:31:21
he has a little bit of an under bite he was never really shy about it but now he could really Flex it he's got and he's
00:31:27
got his people hate America why the world hates us why on God's scen Earth are we making
00:31:34
a dog Grill so how much extra money do you have a dog with a solid gold grill
00:31:41
on lower teeth right that I'm just for the people listening yeah for the people
00:31:46
at home doggy Grill is solid gold bite for the dog on the bottom teeth the
00:31:54
dog's like I get enough puss I don't need what am I doing with a grill it doesn't help me I'm not a rapper I'm not
00:32:00
cool I don't care about anything but this hurts the way I eat so it's not sort of it is
00:32:09
easy to humanize a dog and to take every to really really apply a human being to
00:32:18
a dog so he actually must have thought you know yeah come on fella Sparky want
00:32:26
Sparky want a grill yeah and the dog I mean people go crazy about he go
00:32:33
so you do want a grill you do want a grill you just swagged your tail yeah dogs are great I don't think I'll put a grill on them now before you play this
00:32:39
next one just Freeze Frame it and then I'll say what it is this I had a h that got bra go ahead all all
00:32:47
right I had a I had a um ger bow they got it uh hair
00:32:54
plugs I had a musk muskrat that had that had contacts glasses didn't work must
00:33:00
had oh different color to look cool I had a snake that had headgear CU it had crooked teeth um okay let me see let me
00:33:09
see if this is I don't even remember this one it says wait for the girl wait for
00:33:15
the girl okay this is breaking eggs on kids as a joke and I hate it it's child
00:33:22
abuse hey what the [ __ ] that wasn't very nice yeah it wasn't very nice that wasn't very nice and the parents laugh I
00:33:29
can't stand this it's a
00:33:36
trend the Betrayal bit in it the Betrayal have tox it
00:33:42
oh bought back look at the faces they
00:33:51
can't it's so [ __ ] rude this is crazy no one can believe it look at that look
00:33:58
yeah look at that look yeah this kid's like what's
00:34:03
going you got [ __ ] nailed wow thinks it's funny that is
00:34:09
whoa oh I got know oh this this poor kid it never ends that first one needs
00:34:18
to go to a chiropractor she's like snaps her head back going mom I trusted you
00:34:24
why can't I stand watching that ah it's it's just cute child abuse uh on camera
00:34:31
my dad want hash cute child abuse yeah my dad wants my sister she's probably five and
00:34:39
she didn't like her oatmeal and she was crying so my dad took this steaming bowl of hot oatmeal and just put it on her
00:34:45
head and it just drenched her all the way down but they didn't have iPhones
00:34:51
then yeah my dad would get up he put a he put an inch of O inch of oil in a pan
00:34:57
and start to make pancakes and the first batch out was just just caked and oil
00:35:05
and he called them Krispies and he decided that I like Krispies who wants aisp Jesus Christ he wants a crispy so
00:35:12
it was a stack of Krispies and had Carol syrup syrup because it couldn't couldn't afford maple syrup and then I ate it and
00:35:19
then I went and I threw up but no one got that on iPhones but I'm not bitter um I wondered are those all legit
00:35:27
I think they are because the kids are like it's hard to tell your kid they do say we're going to do a little bit for
00:35:33
Tik Tok and the kids like oh what's this we're going to make eggs D what like your parents doing this to
00:35:41
you and you realize oh I'm the butt of this stupid goddamn Trend like make me
00:35:46
look like an [ __ ] I don't like when they make their dogs hilarious but two of them threw the
00:35:53
batter in the parent face oh yeah new the parent that's like that's gutsy a
00:36:00
discipline problem that's a problem like you're going to do that to your mom not in my house after she cracked an
00:36:07
egg on your head then you retaliate with with egg
00:36:13
batter you know what people have too much free time on their hands get the C
00:36:19
my dad would stop by and then go I do something wrong and he goes extra
00:36:25
humilation not only spank me but go go get the belt don't make me part of it I
00:36:30
have to go get it so I go pick the easiest belt he's like not that one you
00:36:35
know which one I'm like God dang it I gotta I gotta go get the thing he's GNA
00:36:41
whip me with SP D my dad should have hung out because we always had to go get
00:36:46
the Bel well it's the old it's the old days the old days the old days we you
00:36:52
know he goes Dana not that one the belt with the spikes on it you're like
00:36:58
well he would snap it which would scare you and then you had to grab your ankles while everyone else he'd asked all your
00:37:04
siblings how many and then they took a vote yeah how many how
00:37:11
many I don't know everyone everyone was kind of sheepish yeah I'd say I know how much
00:37:17
you should get my brother I'll just do it on one hand 5 10 15 20 25 30 I I'll I'll just say for myself I was
00:37:25
just incredibly well behaved and didn't want conflict and didn't want to challenge my parents in any way you know
00:37:33
so to get a beating for nothing was kind of a frustrating I mean you were a rabble Rouser you're like the James Dean
00:37:39
of fivey olds yeah I'd walk around smoking five years old what's going on here I start some [ __ ] all right let's
00:37:45
show any more videos well let me see one I'll tell you what it is first I think I'll remember ready okay all right oh
00:37:51
this guy does this and I I think it's real Heather's already curious watch
00:37:56
what he does and hopefully there's not loud music but watch what he does let's see what happens
00:38:05
okay throw the board jumping in is already scary enough
00:38:10
he's pretty high okay I could do that yeah and then get in Throw Your Rod but
00:38:17
he's got meat on it which is scary because you're in the ocean uhhuh and you wait and then you try to Surf and
00:38:25
then he get a shark bites it look look at that and pulls him what who would do that who would do
00:38:32
that is that real and there's that guy I caught one dude what I don't
00:38:40
know someone wrote is that an Australian citizenship test let me unpack okay real quickly again a guy on a pier throws
00:38:47
meat overboard jumps throws his board overboard gets on his board casts out
00:38:52
the meat a shark gets it its jaws and starts swimming really fast behind the
00:38:59
shark we're going to have to hear from our fans on this one I that's a long yeah tell us if it's fake or not looked
00:39:06
kind of real it looked kind of real didn't it I mean it looked real rougher on the edges it wasn't like a perfect
00:39:11
video so it looked more real it's just that it was going in a straight line fast it wasn't just moving
00:39:18
its head around you know which makes me susp oh that was your that's a clue I think a shark would bite it off and a
00:39:23
shark would rear its head up if it pull and tug I didn't like it I thought
00:39:30
it was fake when when the shark goes like this bites on it and then it goes to the guy are you
00:39:37
ready here we go I thought it was fake and I I had I have these good headphones but the shark
00:39:43
turned and said shark go in the water cage go in
00:39:48
the water Farewell My we sorry my my voice went
00:39:54
that's from Jaws I was doing Robert jaw from Jaws great movie you get the head
00:40:00
the tail the whole damn thing chinan pull me over s Francis bar sorry I've
00:40:07
memorized the movie love Jaws yep I thought it was fake when he go
00:40:12
when the shark goes was that good should we do one more yeah it it was a little it's a
00:40:18
little too easy surfboard meat shark's like oh I love meat [ __ ] don't make
00:40:24
me look stupid shark did look stupid took the bait the Sharks were right there by the dock no no I I I caught
00:40:31
[ __ ] on that yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] tell us in the comments okay is there any more because I have to let Dana go
00:40:38
um the only thing of the day was that oh yeah you have any or anything any well
00:40:45
Sor go here's the let me sorry Nikki Haley famously shot it out you know went
00:40:50
through the primaries with Trump she was the last one standing and uh she was getting a pretty
00:40:56
good response she's uh former United Nations person and governor and um Trump
00:41:02
being Trump has nicknames you know so he nicknamed her bird brain when she was
00:41:08
still staying in the race very Trump so now he calls her bird brain then she
00:41:15
comes out yesterday and she goes she says I'm gonna be voting for Trump because Biden's a catastrophe right so
00:41:22
now knowing Trump he now he's going to like her if Trump then he's going to be like you
00:41:29
know when I said bird brain and I said bird brain it's really a it's a compliment if you think about it think
00:41:34
about birds people don't know about birds but think about bird brains what birds can do is amazing they come from
00:41:40
dinosaur not many people don't that they don't know that they can migrate from Alaska to Madagascar nobody knows how
00:41:46
they get there they can go a thousand a thousand birds flying around they take a hard left turn nobody knows how they
00:41:52
know so Bird's a compliment I love bird brain bird brain Nikki I love I hope she
00:41:57
gets on my [ __ ] ticket they make yeah they make nests they are smart I mean I
00:42:03
do see what he's saying now because they fly to Capistrano they fly back they're always on time it was not derogatory to
00:42:11
call her a Nikki bir sing they're good singers yeah they can sing if they
00:42:17
repair it they you say something they can mimic like No One Believes swans can just be in the lagoon for hours quietly
00:42:23
and then fly away these things are amazing so bird brain was affection and
00:42:28
I really love her yeah I mean there's a bird I saw in New York that they taught it to fly out
00:42:34
well it's not great but they steal people's money and they bring it back to the guy in his window I'll show that
00:42:40
next week but that's sort of a smart bird truth be told birds are brilliant I
00:42:47
mean they have been around for millions of years and I used to watch them swoop around up in Marin County and just in
00:42:54
concert thousands of bird moving and I don't know how they do it how they communicate maybe they're
00:43:00
telepathic okay I guess we can wrap it up anything else to do before we let
00:43:05
everyone go everyone's parked somewhere going this can't be over okay here's
00:43:10
another thing at the can film festival yes there's a big story about
00:43:17
how all the billionaires are there and all the Instagram models they're getting this was funny to me 54,000 to have sex
00:43:25
with these guys they'd put them on the the boat for a week that's an oddd number isn't it is that the union thing
00:43:31
what's 54,000 you go on the boat for a week and you have to have sex with these chubby
00:43:36
billionaires I mean most of them are probably don't have to be in shape they're not all supermodel guys but yeah
00:43:42
that's the idea and uh that's that's a big problem right now is it a problem is
00:43:48
it not a problem but that's a big thing happening and I read about it I read all about it and uh I thought
00:43:55
54,000 Deal or No Deal I well I don't like you know when women
00:44:00
who needed money had to go out on the street and have a pimp control them and get beat up and stuff so this this super
00:44:09
high-end sort of type voluntarily doing it they like it make money personto
00:44:15
person exchange I don't really have a problem with it I did have a thought about and it's a positive thought about
00:44:21
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez because we talked about it recently please so
00:44:28
the worst thing a couple the worst thing a couple can do is go on an Instagram
00:44:34
take a picture and say we're so happy we're just perfect for each other the marriage is great the kids are great
00:44:40
everything's great whenever you see that divorce comes boom so the fact that JLo
00:44:45
and Ben Affleck are more open about their issues or whatever they're doing means they're going to be just fine so
00:44:52
that's my theory if they were just hugging and kissing every second this relationship ship fantastic then you
00:44:58
know they break up do you have a comment you look mystified well yeah sometimes they do the old oh I'm wearing my ring
00:45:05
and they go like this so you can see it or they put it up or they put the visor like look I'm not wearing it then that's
00:45:11
a story then the next day oh I am wearing it if you get if you're that deep in the pop Razzi you know you're
00:45:16
doing these little tricks and everyone bites on them it's very odd I think Ben is more of a regular dude likes to go to
00:45:23
Commerce Casino and Inland and gamble sometimes and she more of like a movie star superstar so
00:45:30
that could work or it could not work there's there's reasons either way so I
00:45:35
don't things get things get lost let's let's uh remember Ben Affleck as an
00:45:43
actor done some brilliant performances and then as a director and then him and that Damon
00:45:49
produced movies and produced that thing about the Lakers Argo was a brilliant movie The Town so you know the tabloids
00:45:59
just you can get lost in them but um these are very talented people Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck and um I don't
00:46:07
know in summary you're we get along we're not we're not fighting you know
00:46:12
we're [ __ ] tabloid fod me and you everyone I I never liked it you know I
00:46:19
actually when they used to they take pictures of you on the sidewalk this is in New York during my Heyday and then
00:46:26
they would change CH film it wasn't digital they would change film and I would go okay go ahead one I just say go
00:46:32
ahead go ahead they went through like five rolles the guy goes I'm out like kind of out of bullets so then I started
00:46:39
walking I I walked toward I go come on more can't don't you have an extra
00:46:44
rooll I don't know why I did that push the guy yeah well like don't take a picture of me I'm like go ahead have all
00:46:51
you want you know it's like a gun they go B then they got to reload that's when you
00:46:57
run and plus they already get like with guys it's not that interesting I mean I
00:47:02
I've had guys take my picture but they would rather see me with a date they yeah Point Blank said if you're with a
00:47:09
date we can sell it make it look like whatever they want something juicy yeah David Spade out here David Spade does
00:47:15
this um you know like I said the only way is just to be incredibly boring
00:47:21
which I am David's paay out in his shorty shorts again
00:47:27
all right well that's it Dana um I will talk to you exactly one week we won't talk before then I'll just talk to you
00:47:33
on the podcast we baked another pancake
00:47:38
mhm this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna
00:47:46
Weiss sperman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it
00:47:53
[Music]
