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all right our guest this week is the one and only Ted
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Danson an American classic yep what a dude I think most people know him from
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well a lot of things he's done so many shows cheers is the one thatum cheers is sort of that gigantic one but he's he's
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worked consistently on all kinds of different shows for 40 some years and so
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we uh had a nice time with Ted he's very affable funny and he um we went over a
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movie body heat anyone's a fan of that it's a brilliant film Noir early 80s
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when he plays part in that William hurz and Kathleen Turner we talk about
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that we talk about how he got into Show Business his Beginnings talked a lot about how Show Business can beat you up
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and beat up your ego and how you have to be I don't know what word he use agreeable or you have to be willing you
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know to take the pain and not flip out basically the beating that is show business that can be Show Business to
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Your Ego um we talked a lot about Woody harelson because he did Cheers with them and they have a spin-off not not a
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podcast about that it's more uh it's not just about cheers it's not just about
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cheers but it's Ted dansen and then Woody harelson sometimes but he loves
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woody woody loves him they're really good friends and podcasting allows him to hang out so he talks about that he's
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a really interesting gracious guest for us and talks about about his marriage
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and that's kind of a teaser for anybody interested in Mary Steen Mar Ste bin who
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I have a crush on adorable and um so you'll hear about
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a lot of stuff a lot of stuff you're going to hear stuff like you wouldn't believe we never run out of it we're
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going to do things and a lot of people say we can't do it but we did it
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anyway all right here you go there's Ted dancing [Music]
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let's free ball it oh no we love the technical stuff we everyone we've been told you know because we're in we're
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dancing for our dinner when you're doing your shows and movies and I'm doing whatever and then we're told well people
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actually just want to listen to us hang out and talk so it's not really a show
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and everyone who listen to this podcast is actively doing something else
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gardening they're at the gym it's like having sex with your wife but she's actually writing a grocery list so it
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changes the dynamic uh yeah also they like to go what is he doing to his computer that
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I don't do to mine like how do you do that so it's also a little informative U because we never get it right we've done
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this so many times and then sometimes U what have you have you banked some Ted
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by the way yeah we uh we lingo lingo lingo he's we're Let's see we
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Premiere is that the word whatever June June 12 12th and I think we have about
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38 shut up I know know oh that's smart because then you're gonna you get so far
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ahead that you're gonna be able to make your own schedule as you go you can go to Greece for a month if you want to yes
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but the poor people who had a book coming out the week after book is probably off the shelves
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by now so right we were told slow a little bit we run into that we they say
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you should get a little ahead but sometimes like someone's exactly promoting something are you guys loving
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doing this a podcast not necessarily this one but in general well this one is
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is starting out as my favorite one so uh uh so that no this is let's back let's
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unpack this for a little minute like this is surreal pre post pandemic that
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I'm on a laptop in my bedroom I'm punch and I'm working I'm being paid well I'm hanging out with friends and riffing
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that this even exists as an idea like I was on vacation with my family in Wyoming and they said Paul McCartney can
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do it tomorrow so I had to go to the Four Seasons for good Wi-Fi and I interview Paul McCartney on this very
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laptop wearing this t-shirt for an hour with David in New York and Paul in
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Liverpool or something London probably so yeah it's a miracle and it's it's
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very fun and here the other thing you've probably already noticed I don't know if you're a man about town I'm kind of an
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introvert I'm like Billy Bob Thorton I'm just inside so I get to hang out with you now for an hour so we ever run into
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each other again it'll be even Next Level Ted you know yes Ted Dana so there
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you go I have the exact same story really I am I uh I had to go to church
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around favorite uh famous people when I meet them at a party I become reverential I come you know all the
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things you don't want to be I'm not cool I'm not whatever and I'm a bit of a Wallflower so to be able to sit opposite
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somebody we do it in person and and literally talk to them
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for like an hour and a half or so and figure out who they are and what makes
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them tick is kind of a privilege I'm I'm really en yeah it's like an un an
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uninterrupted Oscar party where people aren't pulling you away every second you know yes yeah at those parties you get
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about a good 15 seconds before someone comes in and so these are real conversations real talk and then it's
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just getting to basically like have dinner with someone and talk for an hour that's way has there been um uh so this
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is that that a surprise like you went into it let's see how this goes then you decided I love this you know because it
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is enforced intimacy it's not the small talk is difficult at a giant party very
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tricky I I get I get nervous depending you know if they're friends or people
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I've worked with I don't get nervous but if there's somebody I don't know and especially have a lot of respect for
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like you guys I get intimidated for about five minutes until I settle
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down and you know just enjoy the conversation but um yeah you know it's hard to decide how far I can poke fun at
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people because I don't know them that well and some people we know from the old days and some people I barely know and sometimes we go too far but it's
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ultimately just for fun that's my nickname tarted T fared is yes okay
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cetch how does that how does that manifest itself you saying wildly inappropriate things trying to be uh one
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of you guys who can be cutting edge and um I go too
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far um mostly family it's around family that's where I okay well we um you know
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doing this I will after almost everyone have some regret not like I'm crying and
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a but I'll go oh why didn't I follow that through line and why did I interrupt and why did I talk over him uh
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so have you found any of that where you sort of or are you free like Howard Stern gets tortured Letterman famously
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wouldn't come out of his dressing room for an hour because of things he didn't think he did right others can just take
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it off like a jacket no I I am really uh I don't sleep well the night before
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uh I'm full of what do I have to offer um I'm a lightweight uh all those things
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are true leg stop you from you know being able to do this
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job uh well self depre self-deprecating is your new nickname and uh I have
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evidence here I do research yeah you've done [ __ ] of one of the biggest careers in the last 50 crazy years and we canum
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around wherever you want to go but I I have things that I'm really excited to talk to you about well we did kind of
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work together didn't we well well Saturday Night Live oh yeah and I
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remembered you Dana no no I was hey come on give me a second I remember you then
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and you now like being talking to us just on the Sound Stage and you talked
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about how I won't give the number was remember this you told us how much you
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were G to make specifically and you were sheepish about it you knew so many great
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actors that were still in regional theater there was a humility about you and it always stuck with me what did you
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remember I remembered how my false humility which I'm also really good at
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um oh just just for the record I think it was you or John asked me uh yeah and
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of course they ask I'm always fascinated and we probably asked you together but go ahead
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it's no it's a little bit if you're in the business kind of okay together kind of okay yeah you know if I'd been making
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like way less I probably would have said none of your business yeah but that's
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true well it's it's it's fascinating to me the transition where you first you're going to try show business then you get
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a job in Show Business now they're paying me good money like like I'm a high school teacher Show Business now
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they're making giving me a lot of money it's such it's surreal for doing the same [ __ ] it it is literally and the day
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you got that job that pays you you know a lot of money you're just as good or
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bad as you were the day before yeah it's all very kind of I do think there's a
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degree of uh you need a degree of willingness to be successful and that sounds really
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weird but you do have to give up um
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the the [ __ ] in your life that uh doesn't serve you you do have to uh um I
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don't know they're just things that you need to you have to be willing
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to I don't know I I actually sorry um no we love
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the sacri willingness you know um is a big part of being successful uh a lot of
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people you know um don't check out how they present in the world or don't
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realize they have a chip on their shoulder or don't really take a look at themselves in a kind of harsh real way
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to so that you can pave the way to the possibility of success a lot of people
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are confused why things don't come their way but then if you really take a look
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you're you're you have a big [ __ ] you on your shoulder that people don't necessarily want to work with I mean
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there is a degree of self-exam ination I think that helps you on your path you
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know in life some people are what I call a shoulder looking for a chip yes like
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their their brain actually they get an endorphin rush from that feeling of victimhood yeah uh it's it's a disease
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and I do think that over the years and people have come through Saturday night Liv said there's an
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agreeableness um it's not soft or or heart it's just agreeable in the moment
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and someone you want to hang out with so I assume that by the time you because
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you got a movie called The Onion and that was your first kind of movie in 79 right got cheers yeah the field yeah
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yeah yeah and um James Woods John Savage
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yeah a lot of James Woods was brilliant true story about um two
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policemen in the 60s who got pulled over who who pulled over a car uh because of
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a license plate in fraction or something and these kind of low-level hoods
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decided to pull guns on us took our guns kidnapped us took us out to Bakersfield
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and they thought well we've kidnapped them so we might as well kill them and they did indeed shoot my character but
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what was remarkable about it was it was like uh it was a Joe woma novel uh and
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then I think he wrote the script Harold Becker directed it and it
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um they had relatives and survive you know of the people uh who were real in
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the movies so it was like you were really Not only was it my first film that you know has a certain degree of
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awe attached to it when you're starting out but it also had the awesomeness of trying to represent people who who had
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relatives standing there watching you act you know tougher yeah yeah but it was really an amazing experience what
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was the Onion Field is that where they brought you out that's where yeah their onion Fields out in Bakersfield and uh
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and that's where they it's a very riveting film kind of disturbing yeah it's like anyone's worst nightmare yeah
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you know um can I this is just I want to go to this movie right now don't skim over three Mo three minut in a b no no
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we're coming to that there's just a movie I did this with Michael Keaton I'll do it with you everyone has a sleeper movie
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um that maybe it's not as big as some of the other movies but it's a sleeper that
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no human being could not enjoy every time I've recommended this movie that you were in to anybody who's never seen
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it I'm always very happy you haven't seen body heat oh body heat you're going
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to love it and you were that's on my wife and we watch movies over and over again like The Godfather every year
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that's on our rotation that's how much we love it I've seen it at least 10 times you in that movie is crazy great
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do you hear from people about that and that dancing character and the whole Arc
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of the whole anyway do you talk about yeah yeah no it was brilliantly written by Larry cden who had written oh uh a
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lot of the um Star Wars or several of the Star Wars and this was his I think his first direct first yeah yeah and he
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uh he storyboarded it like two or three times we rehearsed it for a month
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because there was a I think a writer strike or some strike that happened right as we started our one week
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rehearsal and it turned into a three so it was so well thought out and planned you can literally take that script watch
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the movie and and conduct it like a symphony everything on the page is on
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the screen which is to the point where he really he chewed a half of a closeup
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and a a third of a master because he knew exactly what he wanted wow and the
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dancing thing was in the script in the script yeah because of that strike I had
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about a month running around La jumping you know in car lots jumping off bumpers
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and trying to be Fred a there it was just the character in the film David I
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don't know if you've seen it but watch it tonight his I saw early on yeah Little D little dance flourishes
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throughout such a unique little twist to a character you did see it when it came
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out probably well everyone fell for Kathleen Turner right she's in that oh yes and very much and then I
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felli William Hurt is just brilliant in that you know yeah you and he yeah he
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was on his way to becoming a hard throb I mean he was amazing this is how my mother because there was some sexy
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nudity not me her son but this is how my mother watched body heat literally with
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her hands covering of course just hoping you're not popping
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up naked right yeah starcross lovers who plot to kill the husband Richard Kena
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was amazing in that you know in great movies everyone's great you ever notice that what who and I'm gonna blank on his
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name James Allen Preston was your cohort the detective you two together figuring
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out your good friend William Hurt the lawyer is probably guilty and that whole Arc is written so great and acted so
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brilliantly but who is the guy did they H that they Mickey Ro yeah this was
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Mickey's oh first film and he was just he popped oh my God I don't know what
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you're doing but I wouldn't do it I don't know what you're doing counselor counselor you know I I am about as you
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know Bland white uh boring as you can get
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guilty I was talking to him you know uh Mickey uh before a shot or something I
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was watching seen them shoot his scene in the jail cell and he was saying you know if this hadn't come along I was I'd
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probably be in jail and one of those guys some people say that it's like
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right he is like that and I kind of went yeah I got it
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yeah what a stud though and then he comes out nine and a half weeks all that stuff yeah just so fun to watch I just
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think the scene where you guys really went for at the very end back in the diner toward the end were you and
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William Herz character really kind of know the gig is up the game is up and you're having your iced tea I don't have
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to get away it's just that you both started really laughing together and it
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always stood out as very real when the tension gets so
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high what was your first movie my first movie opened in Uruguay uh on Tuesday in
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194 um first movie I was in racing with the moon but I was with Nicholas Cage and I
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had a little part in that but then um the director Richard Benjamin called me at home and said we just you were fine
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in the scene we just can't use you um I did tough guys with Bert lancast and
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Kirk Douglas I was the third their last movie together in 85 wow that was a thrill were aough guy
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were you excited and thrilled beyond beyond being being a baby Boomer Bert
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Lancaster and Kirk Douglas I mean and I'm hanging out with them and they're talking to me and I was just kind of I
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thought they would just sort of levitate but when I saw when I saw them do their lines it was so simple and clean you
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know well I don't hard I don't think we should rob the bank cut is that it well
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they would do Bert would do a lot of takes because his memory was going a little bit and then I would do one take and then Kirk would always say I think
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we go it I think we're let's move on but I became friends with Kirk after that
00:19:03
doing a lot of cardiac benefits at Cedar SI and just uh what's your what's your
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um let me ask David real quick I'm taking over this podcast by the way yeah I want to see how I already know you're
00:19:16
going to be great you can practice interviewing us and then we'll we'll you can you can use this audio for this is
00:19:23
go ahead uh first one was um Police
00:19:29
Academy for with Steve Gutenberg Steve Gutenberg yeah see look at that that's a tough guy to work
00:19:36
with what a prick um were were you were you Blas were you in awe was it a big
00:19:42
deal I was so beyond doing cartwheels I got it from just being at the Improv
00:19:48
being new and doing standup and and then I got lucky because I didn't know how to
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act at all if you let's look at a clip you can tell uh but no I I didn't know
00:19:59
how to act and they said they need a skateboarder and there was always casting people at the Improv and Dana knows this they're just you never know
00:20:06
yeah and I looked young and I was 20 maybe 21 and and they said can you
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skateboard they want to call you in for this and they didn't have the sides at the place and they apologized and said
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can you just act like you're a skateboard like arguing with the cops because they're hassling you and I'm
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like Oh my this was so much better because I couldn't have read I wouldn't even they could tell I just read it off the p I would even know what I'm doing
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and so because that was even in the vicinity they're like it's not a huge part yeah get him and it was 10 weeks
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and so I got to go and uh do 10 weeks I double dated with Gutenberg to uh Bob
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Seager when I was there uh and uh my date liked him better in a shocking turn
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of events she liked the lead in the movie and then one time I think he was I was making 25 Grand which was 2500 a
00:20:57
week for for 10 weeks and I loved it I couldn't [ __ ] believe it and Steve was making 1.7 million and I remember it
00:21:04
was a rain delay and we in his trailer he was nice enough to just [ __ ] with me and by lunch they called lunch and I
00:21:12
go I walked away going he just made my whole salary he didn't leave his trailer in my weird head I was thinking that's
00:21:18
so it's too much money it's too it's too crazy and so uh pleasant experience got
00:21:25
to be a skateboarder Tony Hawk was in it got to work with skateboarders Tony Hawk did you meet up with him later was Tony
00:21:32
Hawk super Tony Hawk by then or he was uh medium Tony Hawk he was just a skater
00:21:39
I saw in the skate magazines and I was a skater so he played I had like a gang of skaters that were bad guys sort of and a
00:21:46
not even a b story like a d and then Tony would do my uh good skating he's my
00:21:53
stunt skater for me so that's pretty cool he's been on this podcast yeah and
00:21:59
he was nice enough to then I stayed in touch with him because I love skateboarding so I knew every guy they used and then we stayed friends and uh
00:22:06
my big excitement was I took a um at the rap party I took a Tylenol from Canada
00:22:13
which is a 222 which is Dana I don't know if you know when you go there they sell Codine over the counter really so I
00:22:19
took two basically like full Vicodins i' never taken a pain pill and I was running around like John banet I didn't
00:22:26
know how why I was so amped up and I got too amped and I ran home from
00:22:31
the party three miles dug a pool um and then uh just stayed awake for 24 hours I
00:22:38
didn't know what was going on j a lot going on yeah a lot going on at that rap party Sharon Stone was in it um it was
00:22:44
such a fun Bubba you know obviously uh Bubba Smith sh Sharon's been on your show too right Sharon's been on and she
00:22:51
was lovely was was lovely on the movie do you guys keep in touch I I just amazed
00:22:59
I'm a lousy friend I'm a good work I love um you seem like a bad friend like
00:23:04
that V yeah yeah staying in touch I'm I'm rotten you know I like to hunker
00:23:10
down with Mary and go nowhere well Mary harelson is the exact opposite he
00:23:15
literally will be on location somewhere and his assistant or whoever will come up and say these are the people who have
00:23:22
called and would like to spend some time with you uh here in Montreal you know I
00:23:28
am the exact opposite I'm terrible I'm always apologizing I'm exactly like you
00:23:35
Ted basically David you have friends I can tell you I have a couple friends but I when I see them out I am uh good for a
00:23:42
short amount of time at a party at a Hollywood thing I can do about an hour the second I'm in the corner and no
00:23:47
one's talking and I feel weird everyone's kind of gotten over it with me I go ah they've seen me once because
00:23:53
you know people go I'm going to go do a lap and then they come back you see him again ahuh and then the third time I'm like get the [ __ ] out of out of here
00:23:58
I've seen you three times so uh you feel dumb doing that so I say hi hi hi say
00:24:04
things that don't matter uh talk about nothing do jokes that no one understands and then I leave he yeah I want to know
00:24:12
about you and Mary yeah and Mary's very nice been married a long long time hanging out of course everyone loves her
00:24:18
uh and you as a couple uh so what what's that what do you guys hang I know you do wle uh so does my wife in the morning
00:24:25
but you do you read in the same room together at night do you check out shows
00:24:30
Do You Talk Amongst yourselves uh we check out shows we we found each other
00:24:35
late in life and had messed up I had several times and and we had both gotten
00:24:41
to the point where we were convinced that we were incapable of having a relationship so finding each other uh
00:24:48
was so miraculous we we celebrate each other and not do each other nonstop so
00:24:55
yeah we're we're pathetic if you had a c hidden camera we would nauseate the
00:25:01
entire world we make each other laugh with the stupidest things but you know
00:25:08
hearing her laugh is kind of uh the best thing in the world do you have uh tricks
00:25:14
up your sleeve I mean do you do a carrye grant impression or I'm just piing names out it's just is it physical comedy
00:25:22
because you've demonstrated a lot of Comedy chops throughout your career yeah physical comedy uh I'm really good for
00:25:29
talking for our dog when we had a dog improv very stupid stuff yeah but it
00:25:37
works if you get someone it works with that's all of her that matters do you like like say you're in the kitchen and
00:25:42
she just comes in and is walking around do you do you just like watching her walk around still yes I will I will Peak
00:25:50
at my wife peek at my wife I have full cart blanch to look at but I will
00:25:57
sometimes just peek at her and go oh my God yeah look at her she's a stun look
00:26:02
at her look at her I love that that is the sign of a really good marriage and you're both really uh sympatico chill uh
00:26:11
no one's undercutting you think of all the negative things that can happen someone who's undercutting you a little
00:26:17
bit jealous I mean there's a whole list of human frailties and so I guess with you two it's just easy you were the
00:26:23
first JLo and Ben to be honest you know you work stuff you
00:26:29
you're your parents your step parents your grandparents uh you both have careers
00:26:35
you both have um Egos and uh sensitivities so you know it's not yeah
00:26:42
but we we work we work at it and when you're working at some with on things
00:26:47
with somebody you're mading in love with it's a lot easier in the middle of a fight you know if I'm which are pretty
00:26:53
rare but in the middle of a fight I walk away and one little voice in my head goes Ted do you really believe that
00:27:01
she's not madly in love with you you know it's like [ __ ] okay you know that's
00:27:07
nice so do you think that JLo Affleck rumors are true that's why
00:27:12
we got you on the phone today give me give me the give me the latest I would yeah I'm rooting for them come on it's
00:27:19
sort of the opposite of your situation the more people that know what your business is in my theory is it's just
00:27:25
harder because the more commentary so you guys are sort of Home bodies there's less interaction less input of what you
00:27:33
should be doing and not doing I think also the level of Fame you know I if I
00:27:38
am surrounded uh for whatever reason uh by a lot of agulation you know uh
00:27:46
adoration uh because of a job I'm in the middle of or a crowd or whatever uh
00:27:53
and I come home you know I almost feel it it's It's
00:28:00
tricky because there's part of your ego you know which you pretend you don't have or
00:28:07
you have under control is just roaring you know uh you
00:28:12
you I think if I were more famous than I am I would be very hard on relationships
00:28:19
I think if you know they both are so famous I think Mary's and my fame is at the level that we uh can contain and are
00:28:28
happy with and and do your life pretty normally without too much you're not you're not feeding the Beast I mean
00:28:34
shiny objects it's it's press press CT just goes to the shiny object but Ted
00:28:39
and Mary okay still happily married Tak care of their families um both working
00:28:46
you know so yeah be boring there was that guess we had on here was in the Tabloid frenzy I said you got to get
00:28:51
boring you just got to get boring however you can do it you can't take off your wedding ring one day then put on
00:28:57
the next and then hold it up casually to the camera and then starts a frenzy of like wait are they together you know
00:29:03
that's kind of sometimes they like to feed it not Ben and JLo for sure but just there's there's ways out there that
00:29:08
people feel the need to keep it going and it realize it's just a tough world because if it starts to go away you feel
00:29:14
horrible if they're not checking on you every day you you hate it but you feel dumb if they're not so I mean we we fall
00:29:21
into all of those traps I mean I don't think you can be in this business and not you know step in a pile of poop
00:29:28
every other day because we all have egos and we all want work and we all are
00:29:33
aging and we're all different than we used to be and we're di you know all those things are true so it has an
00:29:40
impact but if you know anyway well no it's interesting because we grew up and
00:29:45
and had our like cheers that was an analog world it was the the three Channel World cable was just starting it
00:29:52
was um one thing I was just sort of interesting about because of um you're
00:29:58
those two movies I mentioned the onion and and um body heat and then you're presented with this you wanted to do a
00:30:04
sitcom in a bar I mean was that like yes please or was there any sense at that
00:30:10
time that you're a movie guy oh no no and and it
00:30:15
wasn't I didn't even think about I mean it wasn't me being offered something I
00:30:21
auditioned with a lot of people I remember I was doing an episode of Taxi
00:30:26
somebody fell out at the last moment and I I think Jimmy Burrows remembered me for some audition Jimmy who was one of
00:30:34
the co-creators of yeah an amazing director incredible yeah half hour
00:30:40
genius directed mest touch yeah yeah um so I was uh doing taxi and they were
00:30:50
just had just gotten an office Les and Glenn Charles and Jimmy burrow and were talking about cheers and they were
00:30:57
starting to asked and so they had me come down on a lunch break and I had
00:31:02
about two or three meetings with them during that week and they uh after the
00:31:09
last one they said uh do us a favor don't take any other job without
00:31:14
checking with us and and I went so so are you saying
00:31:19
that I I have this part and I went no no no no no no check with us and I walked
00:31:25
out they their office had two doors front door and kind of of a back door in a long hallway when you got out and I
00:31:31
went out the back door and I looked at the staircase coming up to the the the
00:31:36
the front door part of the office and there was like every actor in town was coming up to you know audition so kind
00:31:44
of miraculous but so I I auditioned I think really I got it because of Shelly
00:31:49
Longs Shelly was uh brilliant she off the rack was Diane chamber and we
00:31:57
audition well together because they did a lot of mix and matching they actually had kind
00:32:02
of an audition off in front of all the networks three couples came ah
00:32:08
terrifying I remember those things and I was with Yeah well yeah I mean she I've
00:32:15
done those I I think I've told Dana there was a sickening one where I was new and I needed it so bad it was 40,000
00:32:22
for a pilot which was a high quote I hadn't done it but they wanted me
00:32:28
so badly and I won't sound cocky in a minute and the other part they they had
00:32:33
seven people read for so we went to CBS and did a did a you know Network
00:32:42
chemistry read so I'm reading with seven other guys and they're mixing and matching they're like why don't you read their part just to see just the
00:32:48
craziness and I walked out of there and my manager said uh all the people that
00:32:53
made $40,000 on a pilot take one step forward not so fast
00:32:59
spade and I go that's Dana it's your manager too and I go I go oh my what do
00:33:06
you mean he's like I don't know how you did it but you didn't do it you didn't get it and I go they have to I'm the
00:33:12
only one for the one part they go they're starting over I go no they can't I was freaking out can they started over
00:33:19
they go they're just going to start over casting again I go that's impossible I couldn't even imagine I go all I have to
00:33:24
do is go there and I have $40,000 and I'm on a show I could it was so I
00:33:30
couldn't even deal with it I could and then and never never got off the ground I didn't know it was feasible to lose it
00:33:36
and uh but those that's why those things are so nerve-wracking there's a possibility there's a long shot you're even going to get it and there's a
00:33:42
million to one it's going to be a monster hit yeah did you have a a hell hell one all right that's an example of
00:33:50
willingness you know because you're ego gets bashed around so much in this business that if you're not willing to
00:33:57
kind of check your ego at the door if you're you know jump through the Hoops
00:34:02
yeah you have to be willing to get banged up and still keep going it's an
00:34:07
emotionally violent sport for sure I I read for Harry and son I read for I go
00:34:13
in the room and they paired me with a woman it was Paul Newman oh and Joan Woodward are on the couch you're like
00:34:19
come on [ __ ] and he's got Red Socks she's got a little dog I can barely talk
00:34:25
and they paired us off I I'm horrible I can barely move act or even come up with words I'm with this pretty good actress
00:34:32
and then he goes well and Newman was so nice well we're just looking and this and that he's thinking get him out so we went outside and go wow that was kind of
00:34:39
rough she goes yeah it was rough you [ __ ]
00:34:44
me and we are married for 40 years no but that was it's you're it's an
00:34:50
emotionally violent sport you have to take such blows and such cuz you're not that valuable everyone says you're that
00:34:55
valuable and you're and you're replacing second you go oh and it's hard to remember it's an entertainment business
00:35:02
it's really not that crucial and a lot of people can do it we do and just be happy it's very tough because you get
00:35:08
ego for sure don't take it personally it's like arguing with a Coke machine because it not giving you quarters it's
00:35:14
it's never personal nothing in Show Business is personal it's you walk through the door and you happen to
00:35:21
unfortunately remind them of their second cousin on the left side you know who they hate yeah and yeah you know
00:35:29
you'll you'll never know why you get something or don't get something and so to make rules you know to or to to
00:35:37
damage yourself uh in some way in your it's yeah you'll just get it sometimes and you won't other times I I read with
00:35:43
ly stalmaster yes a romantic scene alone in a room just me and him right it was a
00:35:50
man if I can yeah and he's reading the woman part the casting director he
00:35:56
reading the woman part and I don't know you just auditioning is is
00:36:01
difficult you do have to have willingness or whatever tenacity whatever you want to call it I think
00:36:06
certain people uh I think it was um from Breaking Bad the famous actor sorry at
00:36:14
one yeah Cranston he just said he decided at one point I'm just going to do this whether it's regional theater or
00:36:20
commercials or TV or films I'm just this is what I'm going to do and I think that's the attitude I agree you love it
00:36:27
I used go uh be extras in commercials while I was doing theater you know at
00:36:33
night in new yor I just wanted to be part of be around it this business I just want to be I still do I still get a
00:36:40
drill driving through a studio gate I just I I am so uh
00:36:46
happy you [Music]
00:36:52
know well I mean it is amazing cheers I think 240 episodes or something um
00:36:59
Becker another one 129 episodes the good place 54 episodes I mean it's like 450
00:37:07
episodes of I mean the amount of work is unbelievable and the amount of success
00:37:13
you've had is just phenomenal you know you'd have to say everything kind of you
00:37:18
know comes from cheers without a doubt you what was that one again what was that about the bar one did it change a
00:37:26
lot from the pilot did you think it was like or you guys had it from the beginning like it was kind of set the way it was cuz some shows sort of turn
00:37:32
into something else I I you know I'm I'm the perfect
00:37:39
actor who doesn't want to write direct or produce so my point of view is incred
00:37:44
so subjective full of self so I don't know if I could really take a bird's eye view
00:37:51
I was devastated when I saw the pilot I
00:37:56
pulled Jimmy burrow as side and and and literally burst into tears saying I'm awful I'm so horrible in this and he
00:38:02
looked at me for a minute broke into laughter and walked off
00:38:08
um but I do think I do think it took me a while uh I think this is true that I
00:38:15
you know you're I was playing a a a relief pitcher and the owner of a
00:38:21
bar and there's a certain amount of arrogance especially with the relief
00:38:27
pitcher uh and I didn't have any of that in me and I never was in bars me Ted I never I
00:38:34
was never you know a woman had to be standing naked opposite me and I'd go wait you mean me you know I was the
00:38:41
opposite of Sam Malone so it took me about a year of finally you know you
00:38:47
realize oh people are judging you you're on the air some people like you some people hate you and uh you can't please
00:38:54
everybody so there I kind of developed a oh well [ __ ] it I'm just gonna do it for
00:39:00
myself to hell with everybody else kind of feeling not overly so but kind of and that's when I started to get was able to
00:39:08
start tapping into the arrogance of Sam alone so I feel like it took me about a
00:39:13
year to to uh understand or be able to play him and the ratings weren't
00:39:20
Superstar right out of the box right Jimmy likes to say we were 70th out of 70 no we were 70th out of 65
00:39:29
oh they hung in there which is we really were dead last one time wow and they didn't cancel you why
00:39:35
just because Jim burls or no because they had nothing to replace us with literally we were told that you know
00:39:42
everybody got we want to but we can't we oh we hate you but we got nothing really
00:39:49
we had Critics on our side and that was about it you know does help they like that they do like that they like a
00:39:54
little buzz we we worked our way up to you know the mid 20s or something like
00:39:59
that and then Bill Cosby I know you know everyone checks themselves when they
00:40:05
talk about Bill Cosby but Gil Bill Cosby was a juggernaut his show yes and he he
00:40:11
was on Thursday night at the beginning the evening and he pulled literally all the rest of us behind 50 million at some
00:40:19
point I think like we were top 10 as a result of him I used to send them baskets of muffins or something saying
00:40:27
thank thank you thank you he made hits because if you just followed him but at least got eyes on you and you have a
00:40:33
great you had a good show so it's not like a mistake but it's just good that you get the eyes on you I believe and I
00:40:40
you know there's so many it's 85 when Woody Haroldson came in I think I and I
00:40:46
really sucked I think I read for that part really oh wow that's I love that
00:40:52
some casting if I recall it directly yeah and I was horrible and then you see
00:40:57
and it's like well of course but he really also was another gusher up when you got him in there too I don't yeah he
00:41:03
was amazing the chemistry of all of you was jelling but he's he's something special I mean you know that it's always
00:41:10
the writing even the stuff you do for yourself have you written it well or whatever it works you know it's really
00:41:16
the writing and we had brilliant writers and we got uh U coach died and Woody
00:41:23
came in and Woody was immediately embraced because he was outstanding but also
00:41:29
because of the writing and then we lost Shelley moved on shell long and you know
00:41:35
cury did you ever talk to Shelly about that when she said she run by you uh no no I think it was I think it
00:41:43
was a um her desire to go off she'd made a couple of really good movies uh yeah
00:41:49
reconcilable differences she was good in and I think she and her managers wanted her to have a film career and she had
00:41:57
done her five years she got her five years yeah yeah uh and I think in a way
00:42:02
it uh probably gave shears its legs because Kirsty Aly came storming in with
00:42:09
a whole different kind of energy and was you know right it might have gotten old
00:42:15
you don't know you don't know it might have gotten yeah and then Woody and and how long after coach does Woody come in
00:42:20
or is it right away Coach uh was uh very ill the end of
00:42:27
the third season and we they started writing him about and talking about him
00:42:33
being on a trip or something and then that summer he passed away and Woody was
00:42:39
cast by the time we started the next season and then it just it's I I don't
00:42:44
know you look at Mary Tyler Moore I'm just picking some out here and then you guys and Frasier and Seinfeld it's just
00:42:51
a it's an era of these brilliant half hour shows that all had long runs or as long as a r as they wanted I mean you
00:42:58
did go 11 Seasons right right and you got nominated sorry don't blush every
00:43:04
single season and won twice nine times only nine nine oh Wikipedia [ __ ] me no
00:43:11
no no you were right nine times before I won one okay it was it became like such
00:43:17
a joke I I'll wear this gu and I won't wear cuff links I'll uh I will write a
00:43:22
speech I won't write a speech and then the car ride home to your kids no no didn't win this time but
00:43:31
I'm all right I'm okay go to sleep you know the last episode Dana
00:43:37
listen to these facts 80 million people seventh most watched show that wasn't
00:43:43
Sports and if you include Sports it's it was beaten by a WNBA game unfortunately
00:43:48
the LA Sparks um citn Clark actually was in was
00:43:54
three years old H the last go WNBA game smoked it uh they get 81 million but no
00:43:59
80 million seems high that's a lot when they when we cancel just shoot me which is my idea no wait it was the networks
00:44:07
we just got a correction um when I was on a show Ted Ted you can Google us it's
00:44:12
true what what was the finale when I was on the show I don't you know what I think our
00:44:20
maybe we went out with a whimper because we didn't know we were being cancelled I don't think you had a finale you know that trick it's like they tell later and
00:44:27
you're like so that Random episode was our big okay I don't remember maybe we
00:44:33
did but we got a good run we had 148 that's good and uh that's real good got
00:44:38
me that Honda Civic I'm rolling around not bad that's not bad can I ask you a question Ted the uh I like to ask for
00:44:45
permission please getting to know you a little bit even better uh by the way woody woody when Woody hosted the show
00:44:51
he mentioned you constantly it was really kind of cool I remember him about you me just he didn't say you're his
00:44:58
mentor but Ted said this and Ted said this it was kind of sweet when when was
00:45:04
this was this early early 9s SNL um yeah it just it was very sweet
00:45:10
but I was just wondering with your personality there's a given point in the 80s at some point Tad you're just your
00:45:16
swarm you're getting so famous and the Swarm how did you what happened did you
00:45:22
just roll with it I mean we talked to um Ed O'Neal about it he's he's just very
00:45:28
chill and kind of East Coast you know was it was it heady was it exciting I mean you were on the top of that sitcom
00:45:35
rocket yeah yeah I mean of yeah I I'd be silly not to say it wasn't heavy um but
00:45:43
you're also you know raising two kids you're you know you there there were
00:45:48
certain balancing things to it and then I went off and tried to make a couple of movies and they both did not do well so
00:45:57
three men in a baby didn't that do that did very well that was during cheers I mean during yeah the middle of Cheers
00:46:03
when you'd go out in the summer and make a movie I'm sure you guys felt this way it was Saturday Night Live you had a home to come back
00:46:09
to this huge pressure stress yeah yeah so you finish and what movie do you go
00:46:15
do after your drunken final episode it was a drunken
00:46:21
reu what was it was it something where you guys got drunk what was that it was it was uh Jay Leno uh decided to
00:46:30
broadcast live outside the bar in Boston uh
00:46:36
right it was the final episode and we as a cast had not seen each other because
00:46:42
we'd finished shooting you know two months before or three months before and they told us to come to the bow and
00:46:48
Finch which is a bar and hang out and do interviews until 11 o'clock at night
00:46:56
what the heck did they expect you know what oh my God I think the only soberish
00:47:02
person was Kelsey gramar the rest of us were hammered and stoned and and Jay
00:47:09
Leno this is great moment where Jay's doing you know the lights and we're outside and there's a crowd around us
00:47:15
and we're sitting on stools surrounding Jay and he he's puts his notes down when
00:47:22
they're saying five four three he looks up and he sees you know seven or eight
00:47:28
of us with our eyes kind of spinning yeah of course you could see him go oh
00:47:33
[ __ ] oh he could see it immediately yeah he had to do what was
00:47:39
it after the finale after it aired and then you guys come out yeah and you guys are they think you're like walking out
00:47:45
of the finale bar like just exactly yeah what I remember got a lot of [ __ ] for it
00:47:51
they people weren't uh tickled but oh well oh tough what when you I was just curious um what were you drinking did
00:47:59
did people drink beer or were they doing shots or where did it evolve to did
00:48:05
anyone just I don't know if I was into tequila back then but probably tequila and uh that'll do it cannabis you know
00:48:13
and plastic bag weed yeah where he goes like
00:48:18
this that one I love Woody you know he has a great uh Woody who doesn't like
00:48:24
doing the uh the ads for this podcast I I you know I will sell my soul
00:48:31
anywhere who cares um but he doesn't want to do commercials except for his
00:48:36
Canabis dispensary in hilarious you know Santa Monica Boulevard and he gives the
00:48:42
address it's called the woods which is kind of perfect and it's brilliant I have to say it's brilliant listen he had
00:48:48
one of the memorable uh monologues last year uh when he kind of together his own
00:48:55
monologue stepped outside the line outside the box and uh that's what that's our Woody that's a good SNL thing
00:49:01
that's what you should be doing on SNL that's what I I he once pulled me aside and said I think I was getting a divorce
00:49:09
or separated or something but he was saying why why Tenny why are you so fearful you're always so fearful and
00:49:17
there's a degree of Truth in that and Woody is the exact opposite man he takes
00:49:22
big chunks out of life we were actually rehearsing for a show you know if we
00:49:29
shot Tuesday maybe this was a a Friday or something and he was late you know 15
00:49:37
minutes late meant you were on time 30 minutes you were late 45 minutes people
00:49:43
were pissed off and someone came running in and said Woody called he's in Berlin
00:49:48
the wall is coming down and he didn't want to miss it that's Woody yeah yeah
00:49:55
and it's can be maddening but I you just have to admire the big chunks of life
00:50:01
that he you know yeah he seems to have funny surfs he has a good time he hangs out with Wilson poet a playright thech
00:50:08
the Texas Trifecta I mean as far as that eccentricity I think McAn Owen Wilson
00:50:14
and of course Woody I put Billy Bob thoron but he's I don't know if he's from Texas but just a real eccentric but
00:50:20
yeah those guys just are fearful I I live in Terror most of the time I hate flying I'm a homebody but I I love
00:50:27
hearing about people like let's just go surf in Argentina said that one you we're going
00:50:32
down next week I go what are the rules of life you can do that like can you
00:50:38
just do that well I'm doing it and they ask people you know what they regret
00:50:43
most later in life they go I was just too afraid so D David it sounds like you're a smidge more uh courageous than
00:50:51
Dana and me well not super courageous I do try to get out of the house a little more but uh I'm not that good at it
00:50:57
that's scary man we crazy yeah we're weird listen we're all weirdos but
00:51:02
David's touring a lot I stand that's hard enough to go on the road and just but that's courageous I don't I do not
00:51:09
understand that because that is that's dangerous that's courageous you are on your own no backup thank you I am so
00:51:17
astounded by people who can do standup yes it is hard out there and Dana is very good at David was good very young I
00:51:25
mean it took me least three full years not being a full panic attack all day this is doing open mics in college it is
00:51:32
horrifying terrifying scary stage fright the palms of my hands would turn bright
00:51:37
red and if I waved to the crowd they go what what's wrong with you so I took me a long time to beat the hell out of it
00:51:44
you know I mean the what what was your first thought of oh I'm gonna go stand
00:51:49
up in front of a crowd and I'm the one who's going to tell them what's funny or not you know I had a secret desires a
00:51:57
little kid five kids in my family put on little talent shows I was I would have
00:52:03
years did you ever have a year that you were kind of confident like I was sort of confident in fourth grade I don't know why fifth grade horribly insecure
00:52:11
junior high is a mofo but I could do Little voices I got a hold of a Craig tape recorder that was featured in Once
00:52:18
Upon a Time in Hollywood I had that and I would record but I then I was incredibly shy incredibly shy and then
00:52:26
then I just saw something in the newspaper I was 20 years old and it said local comedians I didn't I only knew
00:52:32
about Don Rickles or or Richard prior there like what do you mean and so it was in Berkeley and La salamandra it was
00:52:40
a little hippie joint in the back like 20 Cedar and I went with a few friends and watched The Comedians yeah and they
00:52:47
didn't seem that good and I always say this but I'll say it to you and then when this one guy goes up I'm like holy
00:52:54
[ __ ] like he's amazing I I I thought well if there's a lot of this guy I I
00:53:00
just you know so I had some notes I just put him my threw threw them away that was Robin Williams so that yeah so he
00:53:07
was always but then I just did it and I was terrified and I just kept doing it I I just had enough shows where I W
00:53:13
weren't bombing I played delicat sants and church basement I played the crowds who were facing away from me eating you
00:53:20
know it's just a torturous first few years till you get a foothold did you always do impressions
00:53:27
I did I was enamored with them I um I could do sort of a beatly voice in after
00:53:34
seen them on had sell them a few times I could do Lynden Johnson in those days and I could I love Rich Little Rich
00:53:41
Little FR Frank G I love those guys yeah and uh well what about you I'm am
00:53:47
curious about that part of your world like we're going in circles here David I mean you know no oh we are mine is
00:53:55
similar uh to Dane as I but you you did get on stage early right and had success you
00:54:01
came to I met you when you were like 21 right yeah I had it was probably everyone left high school to go to
00:54:07
college I stayed to do community college and uh and then I was looking through
00:54:12
one of the things and it said there was a comedy night I just went i' never been to a comedy club never seen anything mostly out of boredom but I like comedy
00:54:19
Everyone likes comedy so I went and watched so floored by I couldn't believe these guys are coming up with this stuff
00:54:24
and then they had an amateur night and later it was it was digging at me I'm like what I wonder if I could just go 3
00:54:30
minutes can anyone do three minutes that just you walk up so I got intrigued by
00:54:35
it and then I just tried it not good but just liked it once you know you like something yeah I got bit by the bug and
00:54:42
it was like it was like the way people get with acting I got that later with acting but right away I was like this is
00:54:47
so fun and so [ __ ] hard that it gave me sort of like a Rubik's Cube to figure
00:54:53
out looking back do you think you were already in that kind of were you working
00:54:58
on that sweet spot of Comedy for you were you already
00:55:03
recognizably a young David Spade you know uh if you watched yeah even my first HBO special which is obviously
00:55:10
down the road a little bit but any early stuff it was a very similar style it was a little more high energy but eventually
00:55:17
turned into what it is but you're I think at the beginning Dana would agree you're sort of a research paper of your
00:55:23
favorite people and just you start to figure out what you like the best and I realized I'm not Sam Kennison I'm not
00:55:29
going to yell I'm not all props I'm not this I started to whittle it down and then get to more of my favorites and
00:55:34
then you just turn into yourself and then one day someone says I saw this comic and they're doing you and I'm like
00:55:40
oh my that's like the ultimate com you go oh it's now there's someone else that's seen me oh okay so that's I had
00:55:48
and he had props at one point everyone I had a trunk of props yeah that I bring
00:55:53
i' carry with me bring on stage and well and I I kind of admired Robin Williams
00:55:59
so much because he was such a Powerhouse and he did voices and characters and ran out and I was trying to be him for a few
00:56:04
years you know and uh well we're all we're all just so lucky to get on SNL
00:56:09
that was such a dream cuz we're watching them in college Dan e and then meeting Dan
00:56:17
[Music] E I just wonder if you had those pinch moments I mean where you're like there's
00:56:23
a moment like I'm going to I mean when did you did did you meet people that you admired that like that blew your mind or
00:56:31
what what was your journey to to on this well I mean in high school did you
00:56:37
go I want to be on television I wanted to play basketball and I I and I was at
00:56:43
a small school and we did well in our league you know any decent High School would have kicked our butts but I just
00:56:50
lived a drank worshiped basketball went to Stanford and my friend who was
00:56:57
actually a good athlete and I decided to go try out for freshman ball and this is when Kareem was um or Lou alender was a
00:57:06
freshman at UCLA and it was just a different game than I could even imagine
00:57:12
so I I didn't even step on the court I stopped at the court
00:57:18
line W did you ever dunk Basco oh you're like 61 or did asked me if I could ever
00:57:23
touch the net you know how tall you 6'2 but you know you must have touched the
00:57:29
rim actually you know what I I broke my nose three times
00:57:35
playing basketball I mean shattered it um never in a romantic you know
00:57:40
interesting courageous way you know ball would slip through my hands we'd be running down we'd be
00:57:47
getting back on defense and I was uh would turn around and run into the back
00:57:53
of my teammate's head and smack no it was pathetic but as a joke one of the uh
00:58:01
Sports writers at our little school put in the K School newspaper that Ted danc
00:58:06
and broke his nose on the rim once again and the and like my father ended up for
00:58:14
some reason I think believing it and showed it to the basketball coach and flax that Arizona at the high school and
00:58:23
they were all over me figure out why sure for sure anyway yeah
00:58:29
so then you went into theater I followed a girl that I was hopefully going to be
00:58:35
able to go out with and I asked her for coffee uh at Stanford
00:58:42
and she said sure and so off we went and about two minutes in she went oh I
00:58:48
forgot I have an audition and I think you know signaling this was not going to
00:58:53
work but I went oh can I can I come along and she said I guess so her name was Beth by the way thank you Beth
00:59:00
because I went and there was a an audition for a Bert old Breck play called man East man and to stay in the
00:59:09
room I had to do something oh really so I I made something up and I can't
00:59:14
believe that I did this I made something up and people laughed and I remember
00:59:20
going oh wait a minute this is y I got the smallest part you could get and be
00:59:26
in the play um I joined an acting class and I literally backed up my station wagon to the back of the theater and
00:59:35
didn't leave until somebody finally said if you're serious go back East uh and go
00:59:40
to a you know an acting school which I did and did you run into somebody at
00:59:45
some point somewhere in New York that said hey Ted you're talented you that
00:59:51
you can you can have a career did anyone say anything like that to you or was it a slow build did you kind I didn't need
00:59:59
that actually I was so madly in love to answer your question no and I was so
01:00:04
madly in love with the process I started an acting I went to Carnegie melon and
01:00:10
three years and then I went to New York and went back into a class while I was auditioning uh for stuff but I almost
01:00:18
didn't care whether or not I was auditioning or being paid to act I didn't care I just just loved it so
01:00:25
loved yeah so much and almost I don't think that's true about the money part now but uh I feel the same way you know
01:00:33
I I love going to work just liked it yeah yeah well thank you Ted I think
01:00:40
we've learned too much I have so much more I have so much I think you're gonna
01:00:45
be very successful you asked us a lot of good questions uh you know what you're doing you followed up you laughed just a
01:00:53
little critique TV friendly likeable I wrote it down here good uh
01:01:00
accessible vulnerable crazy people like Woody you know yeah got woody on your
01:01:05
team that's good well Woody Woody and you I mean I yeah you guys I I think
01:01:10
it'll be successful it's hard to figure out what this world is so vast of digital content um there's five billion
01:01:18
pieces of content now but yesable it's going to be very successful it's you
01:01:23
guys whether you know it's nice I do I of course I have an ego and involved in this I do want it to work but it's not
01:01:30
the same kind of ego as acting I'm just having fun I can't believe that I'm doing this I can't believe I'm doing a p
01:01:37
it's great it's a great sort of thing that came up and was invented and it's it's it's better it's it's a lot easier
01:01:44
than going to New York and doing a talk show for six minutes it's just less work
01:01:49
and get more out of it it's you it's compartmentalized you can build your other things around it if you would get
01:01:55
a movie or a show you can expand I would say one other thing that I noticed about
01:02:00
you with all sincerity is you're curious and that's very helpful yeah curious right just because
01:02:07
you just follow that even if you're interrupting or over talking like I am now uh if you're curious uh and you guys
01:02:14
do overt talk right you can't notot overt talk yeah yeah yeah to a point yeah you know no I am I love it when
01:02:22
Woody is able to be there because it's um I just love hanging out with him and he's such a different energy than I am
01:02:29
you know it's it kind of works well together oh yeah I could see that yeah he's got his his draw I I've never tried
01:02:36
to do woody harelson but very funny voice unique yeah and it's getting more
01:02:41
Woody you know oh he's going more Woody oh
01:02:47
awesome all right Ted than you thank you very much for your time enjoy talking to
01:02:52
you guys yeah we enjoyed it too and we're so glad you came on our show and uh good luck with everything that's all
01:02:59
I could say I wish you all the best tell Mary hello you're inspiring because you're you know you're just totally
01:03:06
engaged with everything thank you guys have a great day okay boss take care brother this has been a presentation of
01:03:14
Odyssey please follow subscribe leave a like a review all the stuff smash that
01:03:19
button whatever it is wherever you get your podcast fly in the wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and
01:03:24
David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey and Heather Santoro the show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman
