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okay we got John Corbett today friend of the world John Corbett I think everyone knows that face that goodlooking dude um
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mostly sex in city but he's done so much right Dana what do you think uh he's been working nonstop really in movies
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and a Big Fat Greek Wedding he had two huge hits with that Northern Exposure he
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wins the Emmy for that show we're going to talk about his Beginnings is working with steel how he weirdly got into
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acting and uh and hairdressing I mean I'm just giving you the bullet points but it's quite all
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right it's obsession with PeeWee Herman that read him led him to be a friend of the ground linges the stories he tells
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great stories and um and he's somebody who's uh you know Sex In The City the
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new Season's coming out soon again so he's still working hard and uh he's a hell of a nice guy really really fun fun
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sweet guy yeah every girl that mentions him has a crush on him that's for sure and he's actually a good dude so it's
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good to see it U and also married to Bo Derek who was in Tommy Boy with us so um
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here's our boy John [Music]
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Corbett ah what were you saying all I saw was John being really animated I click in and he goes and so in the end I
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got the girl I always get the girl in the end you know that I know first time I met you you
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just said I always played the boyfriend so I I always chase the girl around the
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kitchen for 90 minutes and get her in the end in any movie John and I have something in common we're both the
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perfect boyfriend yeah we are you guys yeah you guys played a lot of boyfriends
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we played a lot yeah John uh we'll talk about you for the rest of this but I
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have to say in all my movies and TV shows I never I've only
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been married once I've only been this guy this like flirting with girls and it's just like the one part it just
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shows how limited I am in acting but other than that I guess I could do other stuff they just have never wanted to you
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can act I mean who Who David David can act but you but you're like damn you're
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listen David's a [ __ ] great actor there you go thank you yeah no I'm Ser
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man here's the thing I was thinking about you uh I was thinking about both you guys because you know we're going to
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do this thing so I start thinking about what's interesting in my life and you
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know it's not just about me this thing and uh I've I've listened to a lot of your podcasts so I love it when you guys
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talk about yourselves but I I mean I was
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watching I was watching you um we just for fun the other night watched Tommy
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Boy again because I haven't seen it since it was in the theaters and I've never seen it we B right so we watched
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it and man you know what you reminded me of in that David is um one of my
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favorite movies is Money Ball right you guys see Moneyball a yeah uh love it Jonah Hill
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so so yeah Jonah Hill uh very funny guy also but did uh I could also so easily
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have seen you playing a role like that in in Moneyball have people come to you for roles like that like not just a big
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broad comedy no I was I was sort of saying that because I was joking that in
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movies I'm always single and I don't know why but once it started it was every TV show every sitcom every movie
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and I've only been married once in a movie and they're like what if you're actually married to a girl would anyone believe or understand that and so uh
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that was sort of my funny thing but I do I do have a movie that we're doing in about a month where I sort of have a
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slightly different part so that's that's rare but uh I'm not here to talk about that I'm just here to say you are known
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as like this perfect cool guy and every girl I know that I mention you know that's sort of your rap is like oh my
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God you fall in love with that guy so easily so we don't have to only talk about that but that is a nice WAP to
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have right and just to complete John's thought about you David is I think that your attitude and your uh Rhythm uh in a
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comedy and then put that in like I no one will know this except old people a movie like fail safe where he's advising
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the president in other words your attitude in a serious scenario played very real would be fun I I said
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that to you years ago now I would like that now let me I'm G to control the interview today so now let me go to
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John please do Dana i g I gave David a compliment I love it thank you Dana it
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is it's rare that he gets you know the funny thing I noticed about about the
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podcast is when sometimes David chimes in with something really funny when you
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guys are talking to somebody on a little bit of a role and David chimes in with something really funny but D it just
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rolls right over it but then I can hear I can hear David chuckling to the funny thing in the background that always kind
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of Mak well basically I'm interrupting the flow so I just throw it in like that
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then and the flow keeps going and then I go like this not bad it's really good I like that one I get into interview mode
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you know I become like Mike Waller some 60 Minutes or something but uh yeah David in the early days was just coming
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on to this podcast and so our producer used to count his yawns remember
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that and then the podcast started everyone goes hey this is a big podcast so then David doubled down and now we're
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here yeah that's the reason that's the reason David's wondering why I'm here uh
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uh like what the [ __ ] is this guy doing on this thing because no we're not but go ahead not
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many people know this but we are neighbors Dana and I are neighbors up
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here in in peso Robos and um we uh for a year now every time I see NAA anywhere I
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say when are you g to get me on that podcast I love that podcast I gotta get on it and he's always uh he's always
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saying yeah we'll get you on we'll get you on someday and finally he just had enough and he said okay you can come on
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so that's why I'm I'm here well it'll be about an hour and then you'll never have to deal with me again Dana well the idea
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is is that everyone we mention everyone knows you like you've done a lot of stuff I mean I don't know where to start
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but I do I do know a few little things and you can share these because I thought it was funny that you come out of high school and the phrase was you
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work as a boiler maker and that leads you to acting could you just tell that
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we'll start with that for now for fun yeah yeah I left uh West Virginia right
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out of high school I guess around 79 and uh came to California to meet my dad who
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I didn't know because they split up when I was two we lived in California actually till I was two and then my mom
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and I went back and uh wait a minute so you met your dad like at 19 yeah from the time I was two till uh till uh I
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graduated high school I saw him two times um just because he was always
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working and he had another family out here and he came for two weekends I think when was when I was seven and he's
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he's busy it's a theme on this podcast David has his story it's most of our guests have an absentee dad I don't know
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why yeah I just say it's it's I would love to have had an absentee dad but that's another story yeah the other
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thing is Daddy stays sometimes that can be rough but anyway so you meet your dad you're in La West Virginia then what
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happens well to your point uh man yeah I'm so happy Daddy and I became Drinking
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Buddies when I showed up at his door at 18 but had daddy stayed man daddy was a tough I saw what the other kid was like
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that he raised daddy was a toughy right so sometimes that's better that daddy takes a
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hike Dana had a toughy too I had a drinker so I was the same thing when I hooked up with them we started drinking
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so that's a good common denominator less pressure for them to be the dad Once you turn 18 there's no child support there's
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no there's not as much stress for them so that's when my dad softened a little bit and started giving me his phone number and saying you can call me now
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instead of me calling you yeah is he still around you know what I mean uh no and now I have to hang up and
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cry uh no he uh knew something was coming he uh he was he was great once we
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figured it out but you know I'm I was sort of in the same boat so I relate keep going I kind of relate to what you're saying um yeah so my dad was a
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was a also a big drinker but a smart guy he was a a nuclear welder he helped
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build sofre power plant and he was a watch maker and really interesting guy
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um and he let me live with him and he uh you know I just showed up at his door uh
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because I came on a cross country trip with some with some friends well yeah yeah he look like you was he did you
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kind of oh it's me did he was he 65 and was he see we're the same it was crazy
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we're the same uh size same height and and weight and uh yeah it was really
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weird but but I he said what do you want to do because I wasn't going to go to college and he said you want to be a boiler maker for people who don't know
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what that is you know like I it's not the top 10 things I was thinking but it's not the it's my third
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choice go ahead it's crazy it's you know the your welders iron ship Builders uh
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steam boiler makers and so I got in that Union and uh that's what I did for about
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four four years is it like a lot of welding with the big hat on and you
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know it's it's mostly all that well the thing the helmet you got Dana one of us
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hasn't been boiled M look at these hands look at his hands he's the [ __ ] little girl softest [ __ ] hand I've
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ever seen you know you know what's bother me look a little baby got little girl hands over soft little little
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[ __ ] soft gloves I was I watched raan Bowl last year but now you're a a welder boiler maker you're in a shop have you
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got a really hard ass Foreman [ __ ] with you yeah every come on you guys
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every one of corbid quit gold bricking you got yeah every one of them has the has a guy from Full Metal Jacket [ __ ]
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telling you let's go let's go um Full Metal Jacket I love it it's full metal
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jacket yeah we're working uh it's it's 10 hour hours a day six days a week so we're cranking out 60 hours a week and
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uh yeah it's just you know it's a it's a tough tough life I mean guys are [ __ ]
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losing fingers and hands and Equipment you know it's like get a new guy it's like football when a quarterback goes
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down it's like you ever noticed that the coach barely even looks he's like next guy get in there yeah get in there
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Jennings when do you break when do you break it into the boiler maker Squad that you got to leave early CU you have
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a cold reading class but but you w you wandered
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off you're like guys I saw Hamlet last night they're like uh huh it's like a movie you're like I think that's my
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calling they're like get the [ __ ] out of that's [ __ ] that's funny yeah uh so
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tell me about you you wandered off the job site I think I got hurt I actually got hurt I got hurt I hurt my back and
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uh and I couldn't do that heavy work anymore I sort of walking with the cane right and I'm about to I don't know
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23 and my dad my dad said go to college I was living down in belf and he said go
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to citos college that's where he learned the well he's the best brainstormer we got so he want you go back to Welling
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school you got a bat back and a Kan oh go to Harvard doesn't want me to go to welding school that's where he learned
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to welding he goes just go to school get finish your [ __ ] education you know and uh that's where the real you know
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you don't want to do this your whole life anyway but that that little junior college is where I discovered acting I
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met some actors who invited me to a improv class and uh man as soon as I
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walked in there you know I didn't act in high school or anything like that soon as I walked in there I just said [ __ ] it
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this is for me you know because I always made my buddies laugh and things like that uh and I signed up for all the
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acting classes and I swear to God uh two months later uh I'm I'm in hair they did
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a great you know hair hey give me a head with hair long beautiful hair you got it
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down that was perfect you guys are can you guys harmonize hair hair shining waxing
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yeah everyone's got a bush is that one of the lines I didn't see that's one of the lines that they
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did on why does it sound like Nathan Lane or something I don't know I'm gonna
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sing a song all right go ahead so you're doing Heritage Junior College you got no
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other prect it oh yeah I'm doing here I did actually go to hair school but I wasn't doing
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oh we'll get to your your that in a second that's crazy uh what happens what happens I do it um for about a year
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check it out I sign up for extra work right so I start doing extra work I'm on
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[ __ ] chips I'm on kagne and Lacy it's sweet did you guys did you ever do extra
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work I don't think so no because we were doing standup you know okay so and
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here's the great thing about extra work I mean how crazy is this I even did extra work on Square pegs with Sarah
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Jessica Parker uh and I think 80 [ __ ] four five stuff like that right yeah and
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so here's the great thing about extra work if you show up and just shut the
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[ __ ] up and mind your business and open your eyes you can learn paid you get paid 35 bucks a day I remember the extra
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pay you can learn a lot you can learn what this guy's doing holding this microphone you know what a key grip is
00:14:01
and uh that's what I did I used that as I mean I I knew what everybody did by
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the time I I got my first you know one line on a on a movie so it was great you
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know the re the real stuff sorry to interrupt you but it made me think that's really how you learn just how an
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actual set works not acting class where you go oh they do a few takes that guy comes over and tells they change their
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delivery okay that seemed to work better so you realize oh this is how fast it works this is how
00:14:29
people get talked to this is the hierarchy and then when you get on a set you're not totally blindsided like we
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all were or intimidated by that environment you know oh my God after like two years
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extra work you know and still hadn't really uh gotten you know here's the
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great thing too about we all have this feeling right when you're an extra you just know somebody's going to
00:14:52
see your potential and see the [ __ ] the star that guy is a star man it's happen
00:14:59
and it just OB you know it never does right but you but but by the end of like
00:15:04
two years of doing extra work man you could put me in a scene with Robert dairo even though I'd never been on
00:15:10
camera except as an extra and I had just had so much confidence in being on the set you're right David that's it gives
00:15:16
you so much confidence well it's kind of like it's it's magic in a way and then if you're watching actors you go well
00:15:23
they're just gonna they're just talking and that they're just repeating I mean I I did a movie with Bert Lancaster and Kirt Douglas I was so [ __ ] scared and
00:15:31
then we're doing a scene and it's like I'm telling you where to rub the train he just said it like that then he said
00:15:36
it like that 10 more times and then crk Doug goes I think we got to rub the train so I was like this is crck Doug's
00:15:42
and Bert Lancaster I me that's it yeah but if you're reading a script along Dana like if you I've done this where uh
00:15:49
I had two lines and something so I'm just I'm just s of reading the script watching from the side and the way they
00:15:54
do it compared to how it is on the where I read it in my head I go oh they're putting spin on that oh they're oh
00:16:00
that's not how I pictured that line oh they went down on that and that's kind of little things you pick up you go oh
00:16:06
like you do an acting class you learn stuff you don't even think you would learn and you go oh that that helped me
00:16:12
but check this out though here's the thing when did you find this with Kirk Douglas and uh Lancaster Bert Lancaster
00:16:18
Bert Lancaster when you get on the set you know if you've David even if you've had a A month's worth of acting classes
00:16:25
right you can now do a monologue you can do a [ __ ] scene when you get on set and you see that these guys can't even
00:16:33
say two [ __ ] lons without [ __ ] it up like yeah I just worked in the steel
00:16:38
factory 60 hours a week that's hard work these guys can't even string two lines together and when you see you know I
00:16:45
mean it's just that's just the way it is I'm s the laziness the BL laziness if you can act this is for kids listen if
00:16:52
you can act for 20 seconds that's it you can you can own Hollywood yeah all you
00:16:57
need is 20 seconds C and it doesn't hurt your back usually so you're like why did
00:17:03
I why was I doing that other [ __ ] yeah it's a 20 second increment kind of deal um so what you ask me what so my
00:17:13
teacher came to me and she said her name was Georgia well and she said look I think
00:17:24
you and you're like and that was the beginning of every girl hitting on me for the rest of my life
00:17:30
yeah well we'll get to the ladies later but he's happily married now yes I know I love Bo yeah she says the best she
00:17:38
says uh she says she says um you gota I think you could do this but you got you
00:17:44
know I'm living 30 miles south of Hollywood and I've been there four years been the Hollywood twice once to walk
00:17:50
around and look at the stars on Hollywood B bulevard and another time to see um to see a taping of Family Feud
00:17:58
with Richard Dawson right that's my oh wow yeah it might as well be 300 miles away when you live down Long Beach you
00:18:04
just never go you know what are you GNA do go to Shakey's Pizza Parlor I mean there's [ __ ] there's nothing
00:18:10
there and uh she said you got so you know I had a nice I mean I was making 20
00:18:16
bucks an hour in 1980 working that steel factory I had a nice little condo um uh she she says you gota you
00:18:25
got to move up there and you got to take acting classes because time's ticking you know you should have started this at 18 and I did it I [ __ ] moved to
00:18:33
Westwood it's scary but that's probably the best advice yeah if if I she didn't give me that advice that we wouldn't be
00:18:39
talking right now it just would have never happened I would have been too afraid to to make a big move like that
00:18:44
but I moved to Westwood and moved in with there was five of us me and four
00:18:49
18yar olds in a two-bedroom apartment uh they were all going to UCLA and I was in
00:18:55
the bedroom with three guys I enrolled in Harris school um down in hair school
00:19:02
you enrolled in hair school even though you're thinking of being an act I like he throws it in like it's the most normal move that's probably his dad
00:19:08
called him school we all tried to get a I started making handmade gloves before I
00:19:16
I audition for SNL I had to have something to fall back on so you're confident but you go to hair school just
00:19:23
in case it doesn't work out here's what happens so because of the accident I you know I sued the company and I got a nice
00:19:30
sack of cash right so okay more than a 100,000 or less uh it was about it was
00:19:38
about a 100,000 of which I got about $33,000 right okay they get some and
00:19:45
everybody gets a little and I got that but you know my rent is at this place is $300 a month you know with the guys so
00:19:51
I'm doing all right but the girlfriend that I had at the time was a hairdresser who made it down in Long Beach she made
00:19:57
a good living at it right so I know I'm not going to be on a TV show anytime soon and I think H I like what she does
00:20:05
it's kind of creative uh I love shampoo and uh and I think that the movie
00:20:11
shampoo the movie shampoo movie My Oh great you're great I can cut hair to all
00:20:18
the I knew one thing was gonna happen there was money in people in show
00:20:24
business's pockets and I was going to [ __ ] take some of it out one way or another I be an actor or I was gonna be
00:20:30
a hairdresser on movie sets you know I'm getting some of that cash that they have
00:20:36
because now oh that's looking good man oh no John I just took my hat off because I thought it was rude I'm
00:20:42
wearing a hat no I like it I like it I like the I like the [ __ ] height me
00:20:47
and Dan have the interchangeable hair so we get a lot of heights there's nobody you've ever had on this podcast by the
00:20:53
way out of 150 of them that knows hair more than I do you both [ __ ] nail it
00:20:59
I love it you both have great hair uh uh do you okay so you then you
00:21:05
become a professional and you're you're you're working in a salon and you're you're kind of like and you're you're
00:21:10
young strapping young man 6'5 so you're a little bit like waren batty and shampoo at that point that's right there's nothing more seductive than
00:21:17
cutting a woman's hair and you're straight and and that's so rare so these girls are all coming in and talking
00:21:23
you're just meeting girl I mean that's like that's all you do all day that is not correct I am oh I am work I'm
00:21:30
working you guys know where that little restaurant by the Beverly Center is called Jans it's right next to kind of a casual
00:21:38
yeah yeah like a little diner right so we're sharing the hair school we're sharing the parking lot with Jans it's
00:21:43
like I don't know Beverly and lasena so I'm right in the Jewish area of of
00:21:50
Beverly Hills so every not hot chicky but every client I have is a little old
00:21:55
Jewish lady who's coming in for a $3 set right and I'm gonna get I'm G to get a
00:22:01
dime and maybe a a quarter for a tip right so I the whole time I'm there I'm
00:22:09
working on 60y old ladies oh okay yeah hair we were off by a little bit John I
00:22:16
was picturing like the Instagram I mean the money that goes into it now with everyone around town like there's so
00:22:21
much money being spent on hair and coloring and all that stuff yeah there
00:22:26
was a guy at this particular time Nam josephi Franco you ever heard this guy oh yeah very famous Mickey works his
00:22:34
best friend this is 1985 and uh he's getting 35 bucks a haircut back then and nobody could
00:22:40
believe he was making getting that paid that much for a haircut crazy wow yeah I think I think that's on Canon maybe that
00:22:47
maybe that's it's still there it's still there yeah yeah you might laugh at this when I first got a little extra money I
00:22:53
would have someone come to my house this is me in the 80s little SNL money yeah and it was like
00:22:59
$400 what I don't even I maybe I don't know what I was thinking Bill Clinton remember he got a his haircut on the Air
00:23:06
Force because it's $400 the guy brings a he The Leather Pouch has like 90
00:23:12
scissors in it and he's going around my ear with little tiny scissors and he
00:23:17
often I would bleed I he would cut me and I'd still pay him and I'd have to
00:23:22
you know I was dabbing cotton anyway uh so go so you're doing that and
00:23:29
so here what what's what's your first move in in Hollywood then here's my what are you gonna say so back then you had
00:23:34
to you had to go into a [ __ ] guy's office and do a scene if you wanted to
00:23:40
try to get an agent hardest things in the world move into Hollywood for anybody listening here's your two
00:23:46
toughest things get getting an agent and getting your sag card they're almost
00:23:53
impossible things to do right without help without some sort of help with without knowing anybody no connections
00:24:01
yeah it's an impossible task but back then you would I only did it once I had
00:24:06
this old timey agent named dick Dunn who referred to himself in the third person
00:24:12
as old dick Dunn old dick Dunn always returns his calls old dick
00:24:17
d dick I want to make that a character Dan wants to play him already yeah dick
00:24:23
Dunn doesn't do that dick Dunn goes over here dick D gets it done dick dun drives
00:24:29
himself to work old dick D you got add old dick you refer to Old dick dun okay
00:24:36
D I'll give you a dick down old dick dun had a farm E [ __ ]
00:24:44
yourself so so what what so he's your agent now dick so old dick dun I go in I
00:24:50
do a scene and uh he's my guy and old dick dun has an office up on the end of
00:24:57
sunset for into Beverly Hills right across from the old Jaguar place I don't know if that's still there but do you know where I'm talking about yeah yeah
00:25:04
of course check this out old dick D used to say hey come down to the office today
00:25:10
at noon we're going to lunch and I'd go down at noon this is probably yeah this is
00:25:16
1985 guess who's [ __ ] in the office and we're going to go down and have lunch at the uh old hamburger Hamlet at
00:25:22
the end there remember that [ __ ] yeah oh yeah yeah definitely I walked in Vincent
00:25:29
Price so he's friends with dick dun he goes come on we're coming you're coming with me and Vince we're going down here
00:25:36
I [ __ ] get to go hang out with a couple times this happened with Vincent Price hi I'm Vincent Price no I don't do
00:25:44
it I'd like the curly fries we're dealing we're dealing with a
00:25:50
very unusual situation it's slightly Peter Lori a little bit yeah you know
00:25:56
Hamburger Hamlet had a you over there by Abrams artist too which was kind of by that vicinity there was lome which
00:26:03
someone told me Elton John ate there for lunch once and I kept going someone take me to that place so I can see Elton John
00:26:09
real life and hamburger Hamlet Dean Martin was there once oh did you see him
00:26:15
yeah so it's the same thing it's like you can randomly you get these agents that their whole life is based on lunch
00:26:20
they go let's go to lunch and then they go to they get out and show off their new clients which you look like a big
00:26:26
stud's walking on it's my new gu new guy but he knows Vincent Price which is pretty cool yeah so you're you're
00:26:33
hanging out with old dick Dunn and Vincent Price in 1985 the czy basically dick caprio's
00:26:42
Squad here's the [ __ ] craziest part I looked it up recently because he was
00:26:47
such an old man to me right uh you know he was a little hunched over I looked it up I'm [ __ ] 63 he was a year younger
00:26:56
than me when we were going to lunch he seemed ancient he was a [ __ ] year younger
00:27:02
than me so bizarre so so here's what happens old dick Dunn uh he's he's
00:27:09
sending me out for things and halfway through hair school I get a commercial right so I get this uh commercial for H
00:27:17
Samsung Electronics I shoot it in one afternoon and uh you know hair school takes about
00:27:24
a year to get out of uh so halfway through hair school when I graduate from
00:27:30
hair school this this uh commercial starts running and so I'm working in
00:27:35
this Salon I go to work at the salon on Melrose in B called on Mars and uh uh
00:27:42
what our biggest client was this rock and roll kid named Charlie sexon do you remember this kid at all oh hell yeah that be so lonely beat so lonely oh I
00:27:50
love that you know that Charlie was our our guy I used to watch Charlie's hair for him um I'm making $150 a week in
00:27:58
this hair salon hoping for some walk-ins which hardly ever happened because it's on the third floor of this building so
00:28:05
more walk UPS yeah yeah nobody's walking in so I'm basically it's too tall I can't make it f that place no I can't
00:28:12
even get up the stairs for my haircut no my little Jewish ladies aren't coming
00:28:18
there anymore they're coming now I'm in the hip place but it's all appointments for the three other hairdressers that
00:28:23
are working there who are [ __ ] booked all day long and I'm you know I'm sweeping up uh [ __ ] hair and you know
00:28:30
throw it a trash can and wait for split ends of Charlie seon is a new kid in town the new kid's got to be the shampoo
00:28:37
boy too so I'm shampooing everybody's heads and uh tow dying them here's the thing that I'm 150 a week two months I'm
00:28:45
working in Salon the commercial starts playing eight grand a month I get for
00:28:51
two months for this thing for this thing I worked six hours on and I quit I quit
00:28:57
that job and now one commercial did you throw off your did you throw down your
00:29:03
scissors and throw throw did you do a [ __ ] you Norma Ray guess what you
00:29:10
all so great that's [ __ ] that eight grand and that's what gets you addicted
00:29:16
you go holy crap I there's money in them their Hills I'm still in the $300 a
00:29:21
month place right so yeah and I still got a nice little rroy I got
00:29:28
I go you have any shoes with diamonds on them yeah and I got a little left over
00:29:34
from the from the sack of gold from the from the lawsuit right so like [ __ ] I'm not gonna do this hair deal and uh I'm
00:29:43
kind of you know going out on auditions and stuff I got my [ __ ] cheap little head shot but another mistake young
00:29:50
people who are listening coming to Hollywood just know this it's not going to happen you're [ __ ] not going to
00:29:56
have a 40-year career where you only get to act and live in a in a multi-million
00:30:02
dollar house and that just it's it's it's like telling it's like telling a
00:30:07
kid who's standing in line at for the five o'clock [ __ ] you know Comedy
00:30:13
Store there to do a Open Mic Night Like This probably is not you're you're not going to do this for 30 years and live
00:30:19
in a million dollar house you kind of just got to know that that's not going to happen it's you know for the three of
00:30:26
us it happened but there's a lot so many reasons why it probably shouldn't have happened right it's a possibility but
00:30:33
it's very very tough and and they see people like you they see people and they go it can happen and that keeps people
00:30:39
going and if they're good I think if you're good someone finds you advice I
00:30:44
used to get was like how do you do this how do you this I go people will find you if you're good at something like your teacher realized you had something
00:30:52
and and sometimes in comedy I see people and I go I think this guy's going to make it but you can't it's not just
00:30:58
about do it a lot it is about doing a lot but if you have something I think the word gets around somehow right but
00:31:04
it's it's tough I mean long shot [ __ ] I I I I think I think it's emotionally violent to do this career I was in this
00:31:11
acting class at San Francisco State and this actress came in and she's somebody you might recognize or did a few
00:31:17
commercials first time I'd heard this if you can do anything else with your life
00:31:24
do that but if you can't live without trying to show business go ahead that's
00:31:29
how but she had a cigarette and she looked pretty boosed up but anyway go ahead well it ain't easy
00:31:38
[Music] kid stough so here you are you now you got a commercial on your belt yeah I got
00:31:43
a commercial under my belt and uh uh you know uh I don't know a year a Year's
00:31:50
worth of Hollywood acting classes right um but here's the mistake that that
00:31:57
everybody makes that old dick dun now he's got some connections right so he sending me out for f Hollywood's such a
00:32:04
small little town back in the 80s it's even smaller now in some ways for let's
00:32:09
say casting directors you guys know this for casting directors there's [ __ ] 12 or 15 of them right so dick dun sending
00:32:17
me out for pilots and stuff because you know I'm a tall [ __ ] half decent
00:32:23
looking white guy right so back then that was most of every [ __ ] every pilot had a roll for a guy like that but
00:32:30
I'm not ready you know I'm [ __ ] walking in there too green I'm green my hands are shaking the [ __ ] script I'm
00:32:36
forgetting where I am I'm pouring sweat like Broadcast News and the mistake is
00:32:44
these guys now have seen me and you only get that you know saying you only get
00:32:49
one first shot one first shot to make a good impression so they're never [ __ ] bringing me back you know every time I
00:32:55
go in there they're like no you know you can just just tell when somebody's ready you see a guy on on on any open mic
00:33:01
night you guys know like [ __ ] this guy's got something or he's got a long way to go too early yeah too early so that was
00:33:08
my big mistake you know and uh well not my mistake because I was learning you
00:33:13
know but that's my advice also to people like don't come to Hollywood and go get that head shot before you take like
00:33:18
three years of acting classes God before we get to your s your success than
00:33:24
exposure and stuff I know that you did work doing lighting at theing and when
00:33:30
Phil Hartman and John litz were there so this is a [ __ ] great story now now
00:33:37
we now we got something now this is SNL baby SNL adjacent yeah this is SNL uh uh
00:33:46
[ __ ] so why were you working there if you were so flush and doing commercial yeah well you didn't run out of that 8K
00:33:53
that got taxed did you goes like
00:33:59
this so my buddy wants to go see the movies right remember when we used to go to the movies and see a [ __ ] look at
00:34:06
the posters and go he let's go see this one right [ __ ] yeah yeah so we do that and then there's this movie with this
00:34:13
guy and it's called you know peewee's big adventure I said he goes let's go see it
00:34:19
and I said no [ __ ] let's go see whatever else is playing out this is a [ __ ] kids movie he says I don't think it's a
00:34:25
kids movie I think it's something else so we go it's like [ __ ] that first showing 10:30 or 11 o'clock I can't
00:34:32
remember what theater but somewhere in Hollywood we go see this movie and I sit there my [ __ ] jaw drops I can't even
00:34:40
understand like what I'm seeing right because so weird yeah this character is
00:34:45
you know it's so dimensional and this [ __ ] guy who is this guy we sit through like three three of
00:34:52
them we sit through three of those screenings and then probably went back a couple times and took other people but
00:34:58
what you got to remember is and nobody understands it you know today except you know this age range Once you walk out of
00:35:05
that theater and you're going who's [ __ ] PeeWee Herman you got no way to look up who this guy is you know there's
00:35:11
there's no [ __ ] little thing you can touch Google him yeah what do you go find information in 1985 plus I thought
00:35:18
he's a real guy I didn't think he's playing anyone I was too knew I was just like that's a real guy you know I didn't
00:35:25
think it was a Paul Rubin that's funny we so we're there is no Paul Rubin there's only peeee Herman yeah I'm not
00:35:32
even sure I knew this you know reading the credits if this guy's name was Paul Rubin so we you know we can't find out
00:35:40
anything about this guy and not too long after that my buddy says hey there's this there's this place where this guy
00:35:46
named Paul Rubin who's playing Peewee studied acting and and does skits called
00:35:52
the grounding right Groundlings it's on Melrose let's go [ __ ] check it out
00:35:57
he'll prob be there right yeah for sure I know so we go there it makes
00:36:05
sense yeah makes sense so far it tracks it's tracking we're we're gonna go [ __ ] see this guy so um we go uh so
00:36:13
Friday night I remember it was a Friday night we get some tickets I think they're [ __ ] seven or t0 dollars to
00:36:19
go see the groundings you guys have you guys have been at the groundings yep so we walk in this theater it's a very tiny
00:36:25
theater for anybody listening it's never been there and at this time nobody's talking about the growlings right so now everybody has
00:36:32
some kind of reference because of all the Saturday Night Live Alum but you you know it's a very small theater there's
00:36:38
an aisle up the middle it's about 99 seats and there's [ __ ] uh uh 50 seats on each side up a
00:36:46
little incline it's small tiny intimate very tiny intimate so we get in there and and uh we're looking around ah [ __ ]
00:36:54
peewee's not here and the show start I'm sure he's not there the show starts
00:37:00
and I once again I can't believe what I'm seeing so it's it's about a half
00:37:06
hour I I'm sorry I guess it's 45 minutes or so of sketch right and then they take
00:37:13
a little intermission and then come back and this fella stands up and starts
00:37:19
saying you know give me a place give me a town give me a job and they're doing some of the [ __ ] best improv I've
00:37:26
ever seen because I have only been in classes right with people who don't know what the [ __ ] they're doing it looks like a magic it's unbelievable how how
00:37:33
crazy is you go how are they doing this it is a magic trick because they've studied you know how to produce the
00:37:38
[ __ ] you know rabbits from the Hat I mean they you know this the gim a
00:37:44
scenari you know is is also a trick it's like you [ __ ] say anything you know yeah yeah but it's but they're seeming
00:37:50
like Geniuses at this point yeah of course so after the show there's G to be
00:37:55
another show we're at the Early Show after the show we go out and the audience is clearing out and this fella
00:38:01
who's saying give me a name give me a place comes out in the in the thing and I go up to him and I say hey I love the
00:38:09
show is there I could tell he's kind of in charge it it turns out this Fell's name is Tom Maxwell who at the time is
00:38:17
like a founding member of the Groundlings and the sort of guy their director right of everything uh but I
00:38:25
just know he's the guy was leading the [ __ ] band and so I said is is there any is there any job that I could do
00:38:32
here I I love this I want to be around this and he said he looks me up and down he says are you available every weekend
00:38:40
and I said wow yeah he says my spot guys leaving you ever work a spotlight and I
00:38:46
said no he said can you come tomorrow night for the first show get here about
00:38:52
six o'clock and you're going to do two weeks with my Spotlight guy and uh you're going to take over the spotlight
00:38:58
I said yeah he goes you're also going to sell candy and beer at the intermissions and I he says you good with that and I
00:39:04
said yeah he goes 35 bucks a show cash so 70 bucks a night you good with that I go yeah he goes I'll see you tomorrow
00:39:11
and I [ __ ] came back the next day and I learned how to [ __ ] do the
00:39:17
spotlight which is much more intricate than you would think because you know now you're now you're doing a dance
00:39:24
right with with with the performers so I might have been it might have happened
00:39:30
before me but I uh I don't remember like LoveIt for example doing hello hello
00:39:36
master thesbian Tom jealous um so when so for instance
00:39:42
you know heartwin would probably say and now a word from Liars Anonymous right
00:39:48
and at that beat it's a dark theater bang that Spotlight has to come on exactly where [ __ ] love it is going
00:39:55
to be right right totally and I got to know his act and I got to know what his last [ __ ] goodbye line is and bang
00:40:02
Spotlight goes out stage is dark for a minute you know there's a little booth next to me where guys are also operating
00:40:08
the main lights right so I gotta learn this this [ __ ] act and uh for the you
00:40:14
know for the whole show and it was just [ __ ] amazing and
00:40:21
I I don't know how long I was there before one weekend lit is gone right
00:40:26
it's like where's John he's got an audition for Saturday Night Live Now in my mind this this is not
00:40:33
possible because someone that you have run across in the world it might be on Satur live might be on Saturday live one
00:40:40
of my favorite shows that I have watched since the day it came on in 1975 I
00:40:45
believe it was October because I'm about 14 or 15 and to this [ __ ] day have
00:40:51
probably never miss an episode I mean I still get excited when I wake up on Saturdays I'm not bullshitting that
00:40:56
tonight is a is a new [ __ ] episode of Saturday Night Live with somebody Josh Boland maybe and all day long I'm like
00:41:03
[ __ ] it's coming on soon I'm still like a 14y old boy when it's on are you guys like that at all I love it uh it um well
00:41:13
uh if I go back there yeah if I go back there and I hear that theme music yeah
00:41:18
Lauren talks to me and I go in ADH yeah it's heady headyy stuff there's nothing like it but the interesting part of that
00:41:26
is that you're seeing Hartman and John litz pre- Saturday Night Live working together and then I think there was at
00:41:32
one point you were there I don't know around this time and you were having an argument with your girlfriend at the
00:41:38
ground Lanes in the hallway and something happened oh yeah Dan s subject what was that story just an argument
00:41:45
getting a little loud and then what happened yeah well so yeah that's funny
00:41:51
so love so from this time there's only a couple people that are going to know I the ground L Phil wasn't one of them
00:41:57
because I didn't have much exchange with him but love its Kathy Griffin uh uh George McGrath you know
00:42:05
that guy George McGrath you The Simpsons guy I always heard about I Simpsons guy and he he wrote A lot of the peeee stuff
00:42:11
people thought he's great writer yeah great [ __ ] writer and even better performer should have been on Saturday Night Live why he was oh I didn't know
00:42:18
he's a performer oh my God one of the best one of the best um so and the back
00:42:24
of these stairs that the grounding where you work in the spotlight goes down to the cast is you know Phil and John would
00:42:29
sneak up you know individually to kind of watch the show if they weren't on for a while and I would kind of have this
00:42:35
rap with with John right and so we we sort of had a thing Phil would come up and I liked shoes right I always bought
00:42:42
like thrift store shoes and Phil would always notice my shoes like executive wing tips or some two-tone shoes oh yeah
00:42:49
and he'd say every time he'd say hey nice shoes he'd whisper to me because
00:42:54
the audience is also sitting right by me he'd say I say thanks thanks and say would you get those and I like want yeah
00:43:03
I uh I like the shop place called arars it used to be on melro I remember arars
00:43:09
arar way to get those shoes fell yeah like the shoes yeah little
00:43:14
shazard in yeah oh so every time he because as he's coming up these stairs you know he's seen my feet first before
00:43:21
he gets to the top and so every time I started to found myself like trying to wear nice shoes when i' work because I
00:43:26
thought might notice yeah what a great reason to talk yeah yeah yeah and every
00:43:32
time he'd [ __ ] come up almost and he'd look down shoes and he'd say hard works and I'd say hard Works um but I
00:43:40
was more friendly with love three bucks so so anyway what about the argument
00:43:45
with the girlfriend yeah this I'm so I'm with this girlfriend but this time I'm famous right because I'm on Northern
00:43:51
Exposure for about two years so John and Phil are hosting this thing in like Montana one of these things you guys get
00:43:57
paid for to come host the charity event right and I'm I'm with this girlfriend
00:44:03
and we're arguing in the hall out loud [ __ ] kind of yelling and the door pops open and it's LoveIt
00:44:10
and he says hey he goes get in here and so we both come into the into the room
00:44:17
so you guys do love it all the time right and so the world kind of thinks of love it says uh you know jealous I hello
00:44:25
jealous yeah that guy right that he and he's like that on talk show so they don't know there's another [ __ ] side
00:44:31
of this guy Y and love it'ss for about an hour was like a therapist to us
00:44:37
telling us why we should be kind to each other how to [ __ ] get through this thing it it was like every self-help
00:44:44
book you've ever read because I've read a ton of them uh in an hour I mean I
00:44:49
just always remember that that he did that you know you know that side of it right he's like that he's like a fix it
00:44:55
guy if you say something's wrong he goes I'm going to give you a list of of three doctors that you should see tomorrow and I'm going to call them ahead of time and
00:45:00
I'm like oh okay so he really gets into things and he's very like an Earnest person yeah that that seems a little
00:45:07
different than his Persona so you're trying to get the power over you should
00:45:13
accept the power I could just see him yeah why do you fight you need to you're lucky to have someone you know he yeah
00:45:19
he does get in that he's not that broad but he he come yeah he will have a talk with you I agree you're right on that story it was it was just amazing and uh
00:45:28
I bumped into him a few times since then you know because where we live we're just so far out out of Hollywood by you
00:45:34
know a lot of hours but I always remember him until they stick me in the ground that he was took the time to be
00:45:39
so sweet like that that's nice John if you're listening there you go so so you
00:45:45
have such a big resume here I don't even know where to start let's talk about this fat resume damn um there what the
00:45:52
first the first big one was Northern exp the controversy of of with Rob low I don't know if it's a known controversy
00:45:59
it's not really but hey wait let me tell you guys one thing we we we shared the
00:46:05
three of us shared of space in the early 90s I think you know this data but I'm going to reveal it we shared of space in
00:46:11
the early 90s for one of the most iconic things in rock and roll that ever happened you know what it is David Spade
00:46:18
uhuh I do not the three of us were at the 1992 MTV Awards that some people say
00:46:25
were the best Awards ever the one Dana hosted the one Dana hosted I presented
00:46:30
to uh Van Halen you did skits you did the welcoming guy and oh the a
00:46:36
receptionist and I also was trying to help write Dana jokes I think Dana right I was supposed to be underne and you did
00:46:42
that I played drums with YouTube VI remote oh you got n you got nir black
00:46:51
crows Elton John uh uh uh Guns and Roses yeah [ __ ] 20,000 Cedar yeah yeah oh you
00:47:00
got [ __ ] Eric Clapton I mean it was it yeah was it was a 20,000 Cedar that was an paie Pavilion it was paie they
00:47:08
were a big deal that was a big deal that was a very big deal Howard Stern Fartman
00:47:13
came down oh yeah all the same one wow I
00:47:19
can't unsee that so much more fun then when then it feels like I don't even know what the MTV Awards they even do
00:47:25
them anymore so then here's another three degrees since we're in this section okay um your wife was on
00:47:32
thankfully did a part in a movie I did called Master of Disguise where she she
00:47:38
starts the movie and and runs away in the night and stuff and then goes in a car and it's like she goes like this and
00:47:45
then suddenly it's James Brolin so as if James Brolin was doing a disguise so
00:47:51
he's bodic David worked with her own Tommy Boy and then so we also have that
00:47:56
that connection to Bo we have that connection I mean you're married to her but we we I I met her I I uh I was so
00:48:04
the other night when we watched when we watched Tommy Boy we were talking about some stuff and I remember on your
00:48:10
podcast somebody I don't remember who it was uh was talking about Bose's short
00:48:15
hair in Tommy Boy right and and that John had said uh I don't want you to
00:48:20
look like a movie star cut your hair short and uh uh she said [ __ ] that
00:48:26
didn't happen like this here's what happened let's see if you guys know um so Bo is in Paris doing pre-production
00:48:33
on a movie right that she's going to do a couple months from now but she thought she should have short hair so she cuts
00:48:39
her hair and she's trying it out and she said about a week later she gets a phone
00:48:45
call uh we wanna we want you to offer you this movie uh but if you say yes
00:48:51
you've got to get on a plane and uh tomorrow and uh fly to Toronto from
00:48:58
Paris and start and start that afternoon which she did she said yes to it and she
00:49:05
said she [ __ ] landed in Toronto in the morning and by the afternoon she was shooting the swimming pool scene right
00:49:11
wow and so sounds familiar yeah so for all these years as we know acting uh how
00:49:17
acting goes you don't [ __ ] get a call 12 hours before so she was obviously
00:49:22
replacing somebody who I was wondering are you going to ask me who she covered I don't know now we finally know I don't
00:49:28
know who fell out do do you know because I don't know who could beat Bo Derek so
00:49:33
so Bo's fantastic manager I don't even know if you know this but was the great
00:49:39
Bernie broin right oh we oh oh it was he was yeah ber wow that's all ties
00:49:45
together okay Bernie well so Bernie only had two women apparently according to Bernie who we've had so many dinners
00:49:52
with I [ __ ] love that guy yeah um Bernie Gilda and Bo the only two women
00:49:58
he's ever represented I think that's pretty cool oh [ __ ] that's that's that's him that's a good group so Dan it I mean
00:50:06
David you don't know who Bo replaced if you tell me maybe it'll ring a bell but I just it's Bo is so ingrained in my
00:50:12
head for that Rael Welch oh wow yeah do I remember anything
00:50:19
about Raquel Welch wow I don't think that got I don't think I got cced on
00:50:25
that didn't come across my desk I was in the same boat they're going get the [ __ ] over there and cut your hair and go get
00:50:31
your fittings and learn your lines and then they're like I think and I think we were like wait who's the person that's
00:50:37
playing this who's this because we didn't know we we got we had one girl we
00:50:42
knew that we got as the girl that we both flirt with at the pool but other than that we didn't know anyone we didn't know Julie Warner was in my
00:50:48
acting class though wait that's not why she got it but we knew where Rob Rob
00:50:54
Schneider was in there and Ivana chubba class and then uh so I was like when
00:50:59
they her name came up I said oh I I think she's great she came in Farley loved her um and Bo came in and uh bo
00:51:07
came into a [ __ ] that's so nice she just said yes by the way because it was kind of a gamble yeah well she had time off
00:51:14
for this other thing that never actually happened here's the other thing B said B said uh she was only supposed to be
00:51:21
there for a week she said I was [ __ ] there for 10 weeks on Tommy Boy
00:51:27
on Tommy Boy and she then she started flying home and coming back for just those few little scenes that she's in
00:51:32
she's probably in five little scenes uh she said she was there for 10 10 weeks and I've heard you on the thing saying
00:51:39
before how you guys would fly back to do the show and then come back on on Saturday night be exhausted unless
00:51:44
Farley went to stay in party when when he wanted to go to the [ __ ] Afterparty we were dead yeah we
00:51:51
gotta go for one minute Lauren will get mad I go Lauren doesn't know what the [ __ ] who we are I said what do you what
00:51:57
do you remember about Chris and she said here's what she said about each of you she said the crazy thing I remember is
00:52:04
this is 95 so it's not like you could get an espresso machine and stuff now she said he wanted an espresso machine
00:52:11
and she goes they got him like a $14,000 espresso machine and he would drink a
00:52:16
bunch of espresso and then she said his face just get beat red and he'd [ __ ] like you know pull his hair up and stuff
00:52:22
and go like what are we doing what are we waiting for yeah it was it was was a uh she was exactly right and the first
00:52:29
day we had a three and a half page scene in the diner where I I realized he's a good salesman and he's talking to lady
00:52:35
about chicken wings or whatever they are wingy and he was doing a shot of espresso between each take and we were
00:52:42
like Chris what are you doing like we both didn't really know how much [ __ ] coverage we would do we thought we' do
00:52:47
the scene a few times everyone's like great job but that was a master and then they push in and do a medium shot then
00:52:54
they push over me and do my over the shoulder of Chris then a tight and then turn around to me then me as a wide and
00:52:59
then the two of us in a side shot and then the waitress this way and then that way and we had no idea so we're there
00:53:05
for 16 hours and Chris is asleep at lunch going what the [ __ ] we have more of this we already did it a 100 times I
00:53:12
9 yeah he PE at 9:00 a.m. and we said you can't I said I don't think you're gonna have that cappuccino all day
00:53:18
you're gonna have a heart attack I said that coupled with your salt imbalance leads to a weight problem and so yeah so
00:53:26
he uh he goes I got to tone it down but he would he would drink all that in the morning and he would crash so hard at
00:53:32
lunch that all the Pas would be like I'm not waking him up because you'd hear knock knock knock you're get the [ __ ]
00:53:37
out of here and they're like they they need you first
00:53:44
team so funny he come back so mad and his hair all coming out of his all I
00:53:50
remember is Bo was being lovely and we were nervous around her and so uh but she couldn't been more sweet and she
00:53:58
might have felt like she's cuz she wasn't every seen that um and these
00:54:04
idiots you know like this Goofy comedy but I'm glad it actually worked out where she's part of it because over the
00:54:10
years I always hear about it's very nice to hear about something like that I'm glad she's part of it all I said what do you remember about David mostly and she
00:54:17
said she said uh I just remember a a steady people a steady
00:54:23
stream of people he's was eating more tuna fish sandwiches than I've ever seen
00:54:28
anybody eat their life and he never put on a pound but he was Conant eating tuna fish sandwiches it was uh the stress of
00:54:36
the movie my weight I was losing was going straight to Farley so this Lauren would
00:54:42
say well the weight stayed on screen uh it just shifted from you to him but he said you
00:54:50
you're like the number 10 it's a little skinny spade and then far became lur Laur and Hardy yeah it was
00:54:57
Laur and and and through the you know you're shooting the movie out of sequence so we don't even know if it's any good but we were stressed out of our
00:55:03
[ __ ] gourds funny here this is the funny thing I want people who are listening to do so I'm surprised there's
00:55:08
not more outtakes and bloopers of you guys because I looked them up online and there's really only one little set of
00:55:15
like a thre minute little put together of of bloopers right unless there's another one I couldn't find but you know
00:55:21
when you're making a movie you're there for [ __ ] six weeks mostly 14 hours a
00:55:26
day and you don't move to the next scene for people who aren't in Showbiz you don't move to the next scene till you
00:55:33
shoot one of the things David was talking about like two people sitting at a table Yeah and uh then you'll shoot
00:55:39
the other guy from another angle and until you get that angle and then move
00:55:44
it to another one you don't even think about going outside to shoot the [ __ ] scene in the rain with the deer or
00:55:49
whatever yeah so when I watch these bloopers you know people who haven't
00:55:54
made many movies it's always you're gonna say I don't know listen it's always fun always fun it's always fun to
00:56:01
to [ __ ] up and laugh right but the more somebody laughs and [ __ ] up a take uh
00:56:06
the more you gotta stay there and [ __ ] do it and the the clock just ticks and sometimes you're going man we could have been out here an hour and I'm
00:56:13
still trying to do this scene right so to watch Farley you know be like a a little kid because I was watching you
00:56:20
and you I know you rarely [ __ ] up it Farley would constantly like machine gun
00:56:25
laugh when [ __ ] up and sometimes you laugh but I look at your face in some of these and you're just like looking
00:56:31
straight ahead and he's like cing in your ear with the I knew where you were heading with that because I saw the tape
00:56:36
once and I was like oh my God look at me because I'm just staring into space going we're going again yeah because you
00:56:44
know you can't get it you can't move on like you said and it's three hours after we're supposed to rap and we have to fly
00:56:50
back to New York from Toronto and I'm like Farley just say it and he thought it was the greatest joy in the world to
00:56:55
[ __ ] up his lines and get the crowd laughing he's like the mayor of the crowd he's like look at chip over there he's laughing he knows what's going on
00:57:01
and I'm like Farley keep going we got to get this and so I could see some of those we would laugh and some of those
00:57:09
we were just staring into space because we were in a days going it's so long it's so long yeah and there's one little
00:57:14
thing where he's trying to pop that [ __ ] life preserver right that in the movie in the movie he just grabs a pen
00:57:20
and it pops but there's an outtake of him and you could kind of see the anger in him which is kind mad like this
00:57:26
[ __ ] pen doesn't [ __ ] work or something like that that's that's little it wasn't sharp enough yeah it wasn't
00:57:31
sharp enough there I love seeing those little uh intricate things yeah the behind scen there's one time when I go
00:57:38
for some reason when he goes zalinski is blah and I go and he seems like a nice guy and I go he seem like a nice guy and
00:57:45
and then he starts laughing and then I start laughing because that's a genuine we crack up and he laughs so hard he go
00:57:51
what a dick yeah yeah but I'm like and then I'm like we got to get that again cuz it sounded kind of funny I hope they
00:57:58
can keep that because cuz I'm trying to stay in it and then he laughs so hard I can't I start laughing oh people look at
00:58:05
there's a sweet one too where you're saying line and then you whisper his line to him and he [ __ ] throws himself down and he's
00:58:12
like because I would know his lines in my head I'm like just say this and then I say this and he's like staring into
00:58:18
space I'm like that blank lookie does not know what's next it's so great people good people
00:58:24
listening just [ __ ] punch it in and watch
00:58:30
it all right what do you want to know well you well the these are your tent
00:58:36
polls basically for for the general public Northern Exposure won the Emy
00:58:42
yeah your first huge job obviously um Sex in the City and then revisiting it
00:58:48
now yeah obviously your your time as a rock star which is really interesting or
00:58:55
a country music star uh My Big Fat Greek Wedding one and two Jesus um Parenthood
00:59:03
uh Kate Hudson raising Helen Tony Colette's husband in um United States of
00:59:08
Tera yeah so it's it's uh we can't get to all of it but that's okay there's a
00:59:14
lot of [ __ ] on there there's a lot of [ __ ] on there here's the thing fellas yes it's called fly on the wall right so
00:59:21
you got to reveal some stuff right or else we're just [ __ ] talking yeah the fact the matter is I I kind of picked
00:59:29
look I'm at the I'm I'm at the fourth quarter of the football game now in life and in show this and it's just a fact so
00:59:36
I can reveal now I picked the [ __ ] wrong thing to do with my life right I
00:59:42
mean I really you know being an actor is is uh for one since I was a kid I hate
00:59:50
to be told what to do [ __ ] by any authority figure so I picked something to do with my whole life for my
00:59:55
fulfillment of my work life which is dude stand here say this put this on
01:00:01
look this way say it faster cut your hair like this and there's not really as an actor um in my position which is you
01:00:10
know always second third banana in yeah yeah I'm not Emma Emma [ __ ] Stone in
01:00:16
in a you know in pretty [ __ ] things poor things you know where I'm I'm collaborating I'm not collaborating with
01:00:23
the writers I'm just [ __ ] have you ever sat feel like a puppet you feel like AET but here's the here's the
01:00:30
part of the puppet have you ever sat in a [ __ ] waiting room of a doctor's office for like an hour and you're going
01:00:36
what the [ __ ] for me that's what making a movie is like because I'm not part of
01:00:42
any creative process and right those minutes that we'll do the table and then they say okay we're going to turn around
01:00:47
we need in two hours that 14-hour day for those six weeks where for anybody
01:00:54
listening it's going to sound like I'm an grateful prick but I'm just telling you uh I for my work life I made a lot
01:01:01
of money I live in a beautiful home people come to me in every [ __ ] restaurant I go in I'm a friend of the
01:01:07
world but as far as a a fulfilling creative work life I didn't write one
01:01:12
[ __ ] line I didn't write one joke to make people laugh so it's been unfulfilling on on that level like all
01:01:18
those things you you mentioned you know there were some you know good times here and there but most of it's sitting
01:01:24
waiting for them to [ __ ] can knock on your door to go hey we need you to come back and uh say that thing again and to
01:01:30
me man there's it's such a boring [ __ ] life anybody listening has never
01:01:36
been on a movie set if you came to visit any one of us for two days just two of those 14 hour days you'd say I never
01:01:42
want to be here ever ever again this is like watching paint dry and it's just
01:01:47
human it's just human stuff did you ever have a director that you felt because I had this experience in my three movie
01:01:53
career uh was actively had animus toward you didn't really want to cast you was
01:01:59
kind of subtly sabotaging you I mean you get in scenarios where you're really yeah yeah Mo many of them many of
01:02:07
them yeah but but but mostly they've got such a you know look I'm not a [ __ ] movie actor I've been in basically Big
01:02:13
Fat Greek Wedding is the only movie I'm really a television actor and so you know that thing has to move quick and
01:02:20
that guy's got to make a million decisions and you know we're not shucking and jabing and going out for wine after so
01:02:26
you know I'm just at that point in my life now that uh you know I like being at home with with Bo and the dogs and I
01:02:34
don't want to go to [ __ ] Little Rock and stay even if you know even if you're in the penthouse of the [ __ ] Hyatt in
01:02:40
Singapore you're still not in your own [ __ ] bed and you're gone for six weeks and for me I can't every day is
01:02:48
like a a guy like marking the wall going like I'll get out of here soon so at this point in my life I'm just gonna
01:02:55
just sort of you know I have if something seems really really [ __ ] fun uh I'll say yes but then I get there
01:03:02
and two days later I'm always saying like why' I [ __ ] say yes because also that work life means you know it at my
01:03:10
best uh I I work five or six weeks a year right so saying I pick that
01:03:16
unfulfilling thing to do like here's the thing I have to sit and wait for the phone to ring and like in 22 it never
01:03:21
rang once so for that whole year I'm sitting like how do I get my playing a guitar and piano at home how do I
01:03:27
express myself you guys can really if you want to work [ __ ] 52 weeks a year
01:03:34
you can do it you know you can get a guy who books you you can travel the [ __ ] country you got to stay in a lot of
01:03:40
holiday ends and you gotta be on a lot of planes and do you want to do that but you can kind of control your own life
01:03:46
right and work I see yeah as much as you want but you know do you want to be [ __ ] Carrot Top right Carrot Top not
01:03:52
taking anything away from [ __ ] great you know what he does is great but for
01:03:58
17 years he's been in Las Vegas going 12 shows a week pulling a [ __ ] lighted toilet seat out of a trunk and it's I
01:04:06
mean h how exciting can that be for [ __ ] don't give away his closer I I would just say I'm gonna play
01:04:13
something John oh let's play something because within all that that which every
01:04:20
every actor really really incredibly successful ones like you you've got a lot of nominations stuff this is a scene
01:04:27
that I I saw from Northern Exposure where your character predicts the future and so I understand why you got the Emmy
01:04:35
for that performance it's not easy so here it is John predicting the future
01:04:40
okay well I had to tell you Chris I felt a little self-conscious getting these I mean technically I don't need to own my
01:04:46
own washer and dryer but then I thought why am I being so provincial that was no big luxury I grew up with a washer and
01:04:52
dryer Gross Point m smells new like a new car look it's so shiny it makes me
01:05:00
feel uh elegant that's a self affirming power of a new toy that's the life
01:05:06
support system of the whole capless animal huh I mean when you think about the whole material gratification angle
01:05:12
is just the tip of the iceberg these babies here embody the whole wolof and
01:05:17
warp of human development a wash and dry ever since the place has seen error Homo erectus has been flocking it down to the
01:05:23
local Creek to beat their first gies against rocks right well what's a lrat
01:05:28
except Same Old Creek but with a cheap tin roof over it huh yeah so but this
01:05:35
this is progress I mean these two iron boxes we've gone from communal SS to
01:05:40
private spin cycle we're on our total Blitz Creek towards isolation you think
01:05:46
listen to me the day is coming and it ain't going to be long when you ain't even going to have to leave your living room no more schools no more bodegas no
01:05:53
more Tabernacles no more cop plexes all right you're going to snuggle up to your fiber optics baby and Bliss out whoa wow
01:06:02
okay that is a little prophetic that's probably 1991 or so yeah the the the
01:06:08
audience on our this podcast will hear it but I I'm just saying you know we all have a a little critic in our head but
01:06:16
within that that Gauntlet you've walked of you know being in the trailer and being controlled like a puppet there's
01:06:22
really good work you know I mean you were in the pocket in that moment that character I will say feels good yes and
01:06:28
I will say that out of everything I've ever done uh that was my first job I
01:06:33
think I was 27 or eight when I got that that was my first [ __ ] job uh ever uh
01:06:39
I did a Wonder Years you know a little guess but that that was it even to this
01:06:44
day that was the and funny enough after 30 years they just started playing again on Amazon they couldn't get the rights
01:06:51
because all the music really it just started streaming which is kind of cool but that was it that was the one because
01:06:57
I was I would as you know I would go to work on days off uh and watch him work
01:07:03
you remember when you would do that right now it's like [ __ ] I I gotta work uh that was that was the one where we we
01:07:12
had amazing writers and and uh I I don't think I could memorize that today at
01:07:17
this age it i' need [ __ ] bar and Brando C card that's all I could think is how did you memorize that oh my God
01:07:23
uh I couldn't do that today but yeah I I know what you mean and and and you gotta
01:07:28
be for people who aren't in the business and they're going [ __ ] this guy you got to be in this business to kind of get a
01:07:34
hook into what I'm talking about you guys have been just as long as I have Dana even longer I mean you know you've
01:07:41
put up with all all that [ __ ] before Saturday Night Live you know you were you know I'm curious to what what where
01:07:49
your life would have been if Saturday Night Live didn't come along I think you would have stayed uh in acting and
01:07:54
[ __ ] good things would have happened there but I think you would have found yourself unless you were writing stuff saying exactly what I'm saying it's like
01:08:01
Christ man oh no I did Blue Thunder I did one of the boys I was completely controlled in these little things and
01:08:07
and doing stuff I hated to be doing so I mean again you're living this dream which we acknowledge to everybody but
01:08:14
right now um there's going to be some hammering at my that's right my crew was told from 11
01:08:22
to 12 to not hammer on top of my head so we're at that at that time but yeah
01:08:28
that that's all very true but uh one just one word to describe Sarah Jessica par Parker yeah one word or three words
01:08:36
one paragraph one page [ __ ] beautiful present team leader if
01:08:44
I could if I could do something with just one person if I had to act the rest
01:08:50
of my life uh and had to pick one person it would be her man I mean there's something about this girl is just
01:08:57
[ __ ] you know there's you're you know I'm I can hit a tennis ball back and
01:09:03
forth you know if you're not too good uh and she'll just hit it back and forth with me all day and never try to [ __ ]
01:09:09
slam me one you know or anything like that like some of these [ __ ] actors do that you do scenes with she's the
01:09:14
best and I get to do it again apparently because you know I did that reboot last
01:09:20
year and uh then right before the actor strike and the writer strike they said
01:09:25
hey if we get picked up would you do it again and I said sure I'll come do some but you know I really haven't heard
01:09:31
anything since then I'm hoping that we come back and do some let me see what's going on all right wow I'll get back to
01:09:38
you that's awesome hey Dan would you would you tell me uh one of my favorite
01:09:44
bits is to break this [ __ ] guy complaining story up would you would you tell me the the uh the uh travol red red
01:09:52
oh red red NE you know that's my favorite you know so for some reason John is a fan of this character I
01:10:00
do sometimes the red red neckie the redneck comedian now what if you now I don't mean to put you on spot but what
01:10:06
if you didn't change a word and you did red red red necki as our buddy who
01:10:12
introduced us by the way my [ __ ] favorite guy on the planet Dennis Miller what if you did red as Dennis what would
01:10:17
that sound like oh all right let's let's give it a shot before for that's more
01:10:24
hammering you never fart so loud a dog to stayed away going what that coming
01:10:29
against some I don't mind it I don't mind it give me one more give me one more asked
01:10:36
my mama to wash my tidy Whitey she said sure thing I asked her how'd it go she goes great haven't seen skid marks like
01:10:44
that since the day Tona 500 come and against them come get some [ __ ] love I asked
01:10:52
my daddy what's for dinner he says [ __ ] on a jingle I said this day just keeps getting better and better come against
01:11:01
some it kind of works Superfly audience we're gonna we gotta take we gotta carry
01:11:06
that over to Superfly oh Dennis is the best he's so [ __ ] funny Dennis oh
01:11:12
[ __ ] Dennis Miller is my favorite favorite [ __ ] friend in the world he's great yeah so uh well we could go
01:11:19
on for another hour and make a two-parter no come back because you have you scratched the surface and yeah John
01:11:25
I mean your stories are amazing really I have to say you you weren't complaining there you were just giving a bleak
01:11:30
reality that everyone kind of knows anyway but they don't hear a lot and and
01:11:35
and and everyone knows showas is tough you were sort of saying parts that were tough I mean we all know the glitz and
01:11:42
Glamour and the money part when it works but there's a grind there it it's always a grind it's not it doesn't totally just
01:11:48
go away and okay now I have to do one more thing one more thing here you were here you were in control and then I'll
01:11:54
I'll do your request this is 30 seconds Greg can you play the song in control John Corbett
01:12:04
original [Music] play Bon Joy feel
01:12:12
the oh I mean look at this come on Star oh it's a whole video we're watch all
01:12:21
the wild women we've known when the conversation
01:12:28
turns to you baby I've learned
01:12:40
come of the bottle of whiskey that's a
01:12:47
whole of the cas of so that's funny there you go that's
01:12:55
written by you I assume essentially co-produced played the instruments go
01:13:01
look him up that yeah look me up that's a lot of fun as you know being a uh fellow musician that's that's a lot of
01:13:08
fun hey let me tell I can't do what I just saw though but go ahead David I got a catchphrase for you you need a
01:13:15
catchphrase sure uh and you gave it to yourself you gave it to yourself one of my favorite things and then we'll get
01:13:21
off one of my favorite things you did was uh was you know you did nor show you know before before he passed and I love
01:13:29
do you remember your catchphrase for the angry guy the angry guy and he goes hey how would the angry guy say it when you
01:13:35
were talking about getting catfish and you did the [ __ ] funniest thing you're like show me
01:13:42
that that's that's horrible but yes I do it's a great it's a great C phrase
01:13:49
that's the guy that's the dirty pervert that DMS girls and he's too rough right away yeah is that what it I got a line
01:13:55
for you would you would you say this line and then give me the catchphrase go okay the line is uh I'll
01:14:02
put this order in and be right back with your drinks girls catchphrase okay let me see if I
01:14:09
remember the catchphrase okay girls I'm just going to PST your put your order in and I'll be right back with your drinks does that sound good now show me that
01:14:17
[ __ ] turns into the Exorcist I don't
01:14:22
know I you know John I hear lot about that dorm show I never saw it but it was
01:14:27
his Netflix show and I heard so much nice things about it and I it's hard to watch now because he passed away but
01:14:34
doing it was funny and it was really because it was such a rag tag operation and it made me think that's the way all
01:14:40
these shows should be because it was so funny that it was such a [ __ ] screw off we had a blast yeah yeah yeah thank
01:14:46
you for bringing that up and I don't remember that one and I just did remember it great so uh and by the way
01:14:52
thanks for coming on also yeah you kind of stole Dana as my friend that's fine we're going to skim over that Dana's got
01:15:00
a new friend he's up there having dinners every night laughing place I'll see you next week when he comes to when
01:15:07
he comes to see me he struggles through a dinner and it's fine um and that's great but John you were hysterical what
01:15:13
a blast thanks thanks for talking to us I love it I love it I had fun thank you guys all right I'll talk to you soon
01:15:20
Buddy talk to soon bye this has been a presentation of odyssey please follow
01:15:26
subscribe leave a like a review all the stuff smash that button whatever it is wherever you get your podcast fly on
01:15:33
thewall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey Charlie finan of
01:15:38
brillstein entertainment and Heather Santoro the show's lead producer is Greg Holzman
