00:00:00
I thought this was about the fact that
00:00:01
we're up for a Webbby award on the si on
00:00:04
the podcast. I didn't know we were gonna
00:00:06
talk.
00:00:06
>> There's someone who's coming in.
00:00:07
>> Oh boy.
00:00:08
>> I'll talk to you later.
00:00:09
>> Oh, bye.
00:00:10
>> to fill the audience in. It's very
00:00:12
special.
00:00:12
>> This is big news. Yeah. This is We're up
00:00:14
for best comedy podcast with uh some
00:00:17
other good quality candidates.
00:00:20
>> Conan, is it Conan?
00:00:22
>> He's in there. I voted for you.
00:00:25
>> If we if we don't win, I'm going to call
00:00:27
voter fraud. John Reeves gets a little
00:00:28
aggressive sometimes. Michelle and I
00:00:31
talked about it. You got to go up get up
00:00:33
in his grill and kick his ass.
00:00:35
>> No, but he knows Yeah, he knows John
00:00:36
Wick stuff.
00:00:37
>> We don't give a We're landing on the
00:00:39
moon. We're getting moon dust in combat.
00:00:42
>> I love it. One of them goes, "Guys,
00:00:44
guess what? I packed. They weren't
00:00:45
looking. The tune buggy.
00:00:50
>> My headphones, the metal part of the
00:00:52
headphone. It was plugged in but wasn't
00:00:55
all the way in." That's what she said.
00:00:57
That's funny, right?
00:00:58
>> Yeah,
00:01:00
>> that's what she said. Baby, welcome to
00:01:03
the show. We were just laughing about
00:01:05
some hilarious.
00:01:09
>> Do your best fake laugh. Best actor. Um,
00:01:12
three, two,
00:01:13
>> Oh, wait.
00:01:15
Is that you you're doing that in bus
00:01:18
voice?
00:01:18
>> No. I go like this. I go, that's funny.
00:01:24
That's a good one.
00:01:27
>> Wait, you do that on everything I say.
00:01:29
Uh oh.
00:01:29
>> Oh, that doesn't mean I'm faking it. I
00:01:32
My acting could be just as good.
00:01:35
>> Um
00:01:37
I'd like to because I'm in the mood for
00:01:38
it. This is We have a guest on right up
00:01:41
front today and he may come back later.
00:01:43
>> Quick guest. Okay.
00:01:44
>> This is a guest and his his name is Mr.
00:01:46
Pierce Morgan and he's here to talk
00:01:49
about the movie Bus Boys.
00:01:51
>> He's a pretty good guest.
00:01:52
>> Mhm. Exactly. Hello,
00:01:54
>> David.
00:01:55
>> Okay.
00:01:56
>> Now, I understand you have a movie out
00:01:58
called Bus Boys.
00:02:00
>> That is true. In two weeks. Yeah.
00:02:02
>> And it's all rated.
00:02:04
>> Uh, pretty much. Yeah, I'm pretty sure
00:02:06
it will be.
00:02:07
>> Do you think it's appropriate that you
00:02:10
should do an all-rated movie at this
00:02:12
time of your career?
00:02:14
>> You know, that's a good question. Uh, I
00:02:16
just think sometimes the younger
00:02:18
audience likes that and you got to mix
00:02:20
it up a little bit. But I just don't
00:02:22
think you need to sort of have crass
00:02:25
humor to try to connect with an
00:02:28
audience. Am I wrong?
00:02:30
>> Well, you're not wrong. I mean, there I
00:02:31
it is a bit juvenile and stupid and uh
00:02:34
nonPC, but you know what? That's that's
00:02:37
what you got to pay the price if you
00:02:38
want three funny jokes in your movie.
00:02:41
>> Better understand, there's a scene where
00:02:42
Tim Dylan is is talking about your
00:02:44
private parts. Is this is this what you
00:02:47
find funny? Is this something funny that
00:02:50
you think is actually funny?
00:02:52
>> Well, no. I think we just we reflect the
00:02:55
real world out there and everyone's
00:02:57
playing it very real and it's just um a
00:02:59
movie that I think might change the
00:03:01
world. That's all.
00:03:01
>> Well, quite frankly, because I I just
00:03:03
want to say I find it quite offensive
00:03:06
that you would come out with a movie
00:03:07
about bus boys. It's all rated at this
00:03:10
time with all the trouble in the world.
00:03:12
And I I really don't know why you're
00:03:13
doing that.
00:03:15
>> I know. I we were I thought this was
00:03:17
about the fact that we're up for a
00:03:19
Webbby award on the sit on the podcast.
00:03:21
I didn't know we were going to talk.
00:03:23
>> There's someone who's coming in.
00:03:24
>> Oh, boy.
00:03:25
>> I'll talk to you later.
00:03:26
>> Oh, bye.
00:03:30
>> Oh, is that
00:03:34
reckon? I didn't know what he
00:03:35
>> bridges.
00:03:36
>> Mhm. Yeah.
00:03:38
>> I didn't reckon what he was talking
00:03:40
about, so I was going to come in and um
00:03:43
just sort of say hello. I think Bus Boys
00:03:45
is a great idea. I think it's a fun
00:03:47
movie and I bought my I I already bought
00:03:49
my tickets like Theo Von told me to do.
00:03:53
>> Yeah, Jeff Bridge, you'll like it better
00:03:55
because you you'll sort of grade it on a
00:03:57
curve. You're not that uptight about it.
00:03:58
>> Yeah. The only thing that Pierce
00:04:00
Morgan's missing is a sense of humor.
00:04:02
So, I'm all for it.
00:04:03
>> Mhm.
00:04:04
>> That's a good point.
00:04:05
>> All right. Thanks.
00:04:07
>> Sound a little like sling blade there,
00:04:08
Jeff.
00:04:09
>> Well, it is. I used to do
00:04:13
>> I knew Jeff Bridges. He'd be like a
00:04:15
surfer dude and then he did True Grit
00:04:18
and they talking like a cowboy and True
00:04:20
Grit and then he did the press tour and
00:04:22
he still was in character.
00:04:24
>> You know, I figured they do that because
00:04:28
it was the guy that played Elvis. Yeah,
00:04:30
he did that. Austin Butler.
00:04:31
>> Uh,
00:04:33
we're up for a Webbby though. I don't
00:04:35
know if you know this.
00:04:36
>> I heard that. I heard that. Yeah, this
00:04:39
is to fill the audience in. It's very
00:04:41
special.
00:04:42
>> This is big news. Yeah, this is we're up
00:04:44
for best comedy podcast with uh
00:04:47
>> some other good quality candidates.
00:04:49
>> Conan,
00:04:51
>> is it Conan?
00:04:52
>> Yeah, he's in there.
00:04:53
>> It's Bowen Yang and La Culturistas.
00:04:56
>> Mhm.
00:04:57
>> And uh Heather probably knows the rest.
00:04:59
But the point is it doesn't matter
00:05:01
because we are the one to vote for. So
00:05:04
you have to go online. I just try to do
00:05:06
it to vote for ourselves.
00:05:08
embarrassingly, but you have to like log
00:05:09
in. So, it we'll do it later. But
00:05:11
>> if we win, and I don't know if it' be
00:05:13
online or we'll go there. If we if we
00:05:15
win and we go up there to the podium,
00:05:18
what do you think you would say? How
00:05:19
would you what would you say to
00:05:22
>> Oh, to the universe about
00:05:23
>> I would rather
00:05:26
I don't want any time limits. I want to
00:05:29
talk
00:05:31
>> when we go.
00:05:33
>> It will be long enough our speech to
00:05:35
call it another podcast.
00:05:38
I it would count as a podcast. We'll
00:05:41
check with the with the the higher ups.
00:05:43
I would just say
00:05:46
I would say look
00:05:48
>> I'm so
00:05:50
>> glad to be with all these wonderful
00:05:52
podcasts
00:05:54
>> and any one of you could win. I share
00:05:57
this award. I share this award with you.
00:06:01
>> It's no it's Bernie.
00:06:05
>> Don't proceed. Don't proceed. The rich
00:06:08
don't pay the fair share. They don't pay
00:06:10
the money. They don't take the fair
00:06:12
share. Don't proceed. Don't proceed. I
00:06:16
don't know. They don't pay their fair
00:06:17
share.
00:06:19
>> I'm the only voter in the academy voting
00:06:22
for the Webbby. It's just me for comedy
00:06:24
podcasts and I voted for you.
00:06:27
>> If we if we don't win, I'm going to call
00:06:29
voter fraud. Also,
00:06:31
>> okay,
00:06:33
>> you know, there's a voter ID debate
00:06:34
going on. I don't really know what the
00:06:36
whole thing
00:06:36
>> Why would anyone have to show ID to
00:06:40
vote? Get out of town.
00:06:41
>> Exactly. There's another there's another
00:06:44
story married to that where there's
00:06:47
Listen, I have to show my ID to do
00:06:50
almost literally anything in life. Drive
00:06:52
a car, go to the airport, do, you know,
00:06:56
buy beer.
00:06:57
>> So, I don't think having an ID is a
00:06:58
crazy idea to vote. But there's
00:07:01
something in I just read that this is
00:07:02
funny. Connecticut
00:07:04
on such a minor thing.
00:07:06
>> Connecticut, they don't they don't want
00:07:09
>> the voter ID, right? So, I'll [ __ ]
00:07:12
mangle this story,
00:07:14
>> but they're getting with the recycling 5
00:07:16
cents. They get 5 cents, but they're
00:07:18
upping it to 10 cents for their
00:07:21
recycling. They They'll pay you.
00:07:23
>> Oh, yeah. You'll get 10 cents instead of
00:07:25
5 cents. Turn in a can or some kind of
00:07:27
milk cart. But what they're finding out
00:07:29
is people are coming from other states
00:07:32
>> to take advantage of that.
00:07:33
>> So they say you have to have an ID to do
00:07:37
it and you have to be from here. You
00:07:38
can't cross the border into our c into
00:07:41
our state and do it.
00:07:42
>> I say and this may be a hot take and I
00:07:45
don't want to get people upset. That is
00:07:47
hysterical.
00:07:48
Let's get rid of
00:07:51
>> all IDs like
00:07:54
DMV. No ID. Get on an airplane. Hey man,
00:07:57
my name's Doug. Just I'm in seed four,
00:07:59
right? So just get rid of, you know, if
00:08:01
the IRS I don't have ID, dude. I don't I
00:08:04
think it's an over we're over
00:08:06
identified. So if we're going to get for
00:08:08
voting, let's do it for everything.
00:08:10
5-year-olds can buy a pint of whiskey.
00:08:13
>> I'm fine with it because it's less
00:08:15
stress on me. I don't want to have to go
00:08:17
get a real ID. I don't want to do all
00:08:18
this stuff. So please make it easy on
00:08:21
me. Also, uh, I will tell you, you you
00:08:24
you I know you're a fan of my mother, my
00:08:26
lovely mother, Judy.
00:08:27
>> She's the best.
00:08:28
>> And oh my god, mother, you know what
00:08:30
parents do. And she the other day
00:08:34
she hit me up and she's, first of all,
00:08:37
she's so sweet, right?
00:08:39
>> Absolutely. Kind of innocent in a sweet
00:08:41
way,
00:08:42
>> right? Very innocent. Dana, not kind of.
00:08:45
I'm just trying to be, you know,
00:08:48
>> she's she's out at Costco where she
00:08:53
spends 90% of
00:08:55
>> uh anyone any senior,
00:08:57
>> you know, you're a senior when you live
00:09:00
at Costco. My my mother-in-law is 94,
00:09:03
Irish, wonderful person. Just Costco is
00:09:07
is her second church.
00:09:08
>> Yeah, it's a great hangout. So,
00:09:10
>> great hangout. What did you say?
00:09:12
>> Hot dog Thursdays. Okay. So, she goes to
00:09:15
Costco and in the classic, she texts me.
00:09:17
This is what I wake up to. There's a
00:09:19
little family and she said, "I was
00:09:23
shopping and there was the woman was
00:09:25
crying. She was standing line, but she
00:09:28
kept crying and no one would talk to
00:09:29
her."
00:09:31
So, my mom went over,
00:09:33
>> of course, predictably, and she said,
00:09:37
"What's wrong?" And she said, "They have
00:09:39
nowhere to live. It's a mother and
00:09:41
father and they have four kids and they
00:09:43
just came here from
00:09:45
some part of Africa and anyway she the
00:09:49
dad is like a doctor but they don't
00:09:52
consider that a doctor here and you know
00:09:56
when we were younger we had a Vietnamese
00:09:58
family live with us and the dad was was
00:09:59
a doctor
00:10:00
>> really
00:10:01
>> and yeah
00:10:02
>> never heard that story
00:10:03
>> qui Shin Tron and Lan
00:10:09
and We adopted a kid and called him
00:10:11
Quinoa.
00:10:14
>> Quinoa, is that his name?
00:10:15
>> Quinoa. Yeah. And he he loved kind of
00:10:18
rice products.
00:10:18
>> He's kind of making fun of the story, I
00:10:20
think, is very
00:10:21
>> I we'll get to the heavy punch line.
00:10:23
>> The heavy It's not. It's that Harper
00:10:25
stays in this back room in her house.
00:10:27
She invites this woman for just a couple
00:10:29
days to stay in the back room.
00:10:32
>> This is recent.
00:10:34
>> Yeah. And she said she could pay $40 a
00:10:36
month and at 6 months if it doesn't work
00:10:40
out, we will she'll have to find her own
00:10:42
place. And uh and she said, "I feel bad,
00:10:46
but um are you okay with this?" And I
00:10:50
said, "I'm a little nervous about it
00:10:53
because of uh
00:10:55
you know, Nancy, just anything people."
00:10:58
I said, "Don't give just random people
00:11:00
our address or your address and have
00:11:02
them come over." I said, "Maybe you
00:11:04
could help me out with some cash."
00:11:06
Anyway, it's all a [ __ ] April Fool's
00:11:08
joke. And I couldn't believe it,
00:11:10
Heather. Isn't it great?
00:11:13
>> She got me. And I was just going,
00:11:16
>> "Mom, I I I don't know what to say.
00:11:20
Isn't it good, Heather? I didn't tell
00:11:21
you
00:11:21
>> questions. I was already
00:11:23
>> I didn't tell you." And it's so exactly
00:11:25
up Judy's alley to do all these things.
00:11:28
And it was She's like, "I got you. I
00:11:30
couldn't let you let you die in the vine
00:11:32
any longer. And I was like, oh my god.
00:11:36
Then she told Rosie. Then she told Rosie
00:11:39
told her parents. Anyway, everyone I
00:11:41
know was we were trying to I should have
00:11:42
done it to you, Dane. It would be so
00:11:44
great cuz no one probably got you on
00:11:46
April Fools. And
00:11:48
>> and then I realized my brother Andy is
00:11:50
in on it, too. It's so He was like I'm
00:11:52
gonna call David and go, "Did you hear
00:11:54
what happened with mom? What is going
00:11:56
on? I don't know what to say. I gotta
00:11:57
stop this, but they're here." And I'm
00:11:58
like, "They're here." I would have
00:12:01
>> Well, it's a great in a way it's a great
00:12:03
turn because I was thinking early onset
00:12:05
dementia and then it flips to where
00:12:08
where she's very very smart and clever,
00:12:12
you know? It's just a total switch. I
00:12:14
mean, cuz $40 a month got my attention.
00:12:16
Where can you get that? May maybe the
00:12:19
conga or something. That's a nice
00:12:22
>> This place is a threebedroom, three
00:12:24
bath.
00:12:26
>> I'll tell you what. I tell you what. I
00:12:28
tell you what. out in the world. Um, no
00:12:31
one really carries cash. I know you have
00:12:33
a big wad all the time, but I don't
00:12:35
>> always.
00:12:35
>> No. So,
00:12:36
>> I stuff it down the front though. It's
00:12:38
for a different reason.
00:12:41
>> That'll do it.
00:12:42
>> Yeah. I got a big Look at us money.
00:12:45
>> So, what you do is um it's different if
00:12:49
someone says, "Hey, could you buy could
00:12:51
you buy me some lunch?" You know, rather
00:12:53
than giving them cash and they might go
00:12:55
get a bottle of whiskey or whatever. So,
00:12:58
uh,
00:12:59
>> I say, you know, I say, "Here's a
00:13:01
temporary subscription to Apple TV so
00:13:04
you can watch the new movie Outcome with
00:13:06
Keano Reeves because I have a small part
00:13:09
in it
00:13:09
>> instead of food or just
00:13:11
>> Well, just to give them, you know,
00:13:13
something to do and uh and I think they
00:13:16
appreciate that over food or something.
00:13:18
>> Well, initially it was like a turkey
00:13:20
sandwich or hamburger. Now they're in
00:13:22
front of oros. Could I get a sirloin tip
00:13:26
and a side of uh
00:13:28
>> That's smart because they go you go
00:13:30
here's $10 for dinner and they go I
00:13:32
happen to have the oro menu here
00:13:34
>> and the Craig's menu and
00:13:36
>> the swordfish is fresh. Yeah.
00:13:38
>> They even charge for bread. So we got to
00:13:40
be
00:13:42
by the way I went to Craigs last night.
00:13:43
I saw love it. Hello.
00:13:44
>> No, you didn't go to Craigs. That's
00:13:46
where careers go to die.
00:13:48
>> No, it's not. It's where there are a lot
00:13:50
of hot stars there. Vincent Price, Jaza
00:13:53
Gabbor,
00:13:54
>> George Burns.
00:13:56
>> Oh, it was fun. Love it. Wanted to go.
00:13:58
He loves Craig.
00:13:59
>> I he
00:14:01
said he's coming on soon. We're going to
00:14:03
have him on.
00:14:04
>> Well, I I invited him on. I said, "Come
00:14:06
on and goof around a little bit."
00:14:09
>> I will.
00:14:10
>> He's a solid goofer.
00:14:15
>> Okay. Well, I have more stories for you.
00:14:16
Oh, I have more theater gigs. I have my
00:14:18
last theater gigs are coming up. So I
00:14:20
have Nashville
00:14:22
>> two weeks.
00:14:24
>> Where are tickets right now? If I went
00:14:25
on to ticket master, does it say going
00:14:28
fast
00:14:30
sing only singles?
00:14:31
>> Low ticket warning.
00:14:33
>> Low ticket warning. That's it. You got
00:14:35
>> that should be the name of a special.
00:14:37
It's so [ __ ] funny.
00:14:38
>> I know because it is you kind of I I got
00:14:41
I better get the ticket. I I I don't
00:14:43
even want to see this show. And they
00:14:44
they even they even warned me.
00:14:47
>> Low ticket warning. Low ticket.
00:14:49
Singles only. Single seats only.
00:14:52
>> The Ryman in Nashville. And in that day,
00:14:55
we're going to run around.
00:14:57
I keep forgetting to talk about this
00:14:59
Kiana Reeves movie, but that's the week
00:15:01
before on the 10th is outcome that comes
00:15:03
out. Cameron Diaz, Matt Bulmer, David
00:15:07
Spade, Jonah Hill.
00:15:09
>> Drew Barrymore is in it. And uh that
00:15:11
comes out.
00:15:11
>> I want I want to see that. I want to see
00:15:14
you in a big budget big movie star Keanu
00:15:19
>> and you.
00:15:21
>> Yeah. So,
00:15:22
>> okay.
00:15:23
>> Our tickets going I'm going to buy a
00:15:25
ticket.
00:15:25
>> You know what's nice about Keanu?
00:15:27
>> Most of my
00:15:29
>> was making
00:15:33
>> well was trying to put out the fires
00:15:34
because Keanu made maybe every single
00:15:37
person on the crew cry. He's a
00:15:39
>> because of his sort of benevolent kind
00:15:42
of spiritual
00:15:43
>> bad guy. Yeah.
00:15:45
>> Screaming.
00:15:46
>> Oh, you're saying he was [ __ ]
00:15:48
>> Yeah.
00:15:49
>> Worse,
00:15:49
>> huh?
00:15:51
>> That'd be interesting. Let's see.
00:15:53
>> I guess that would be April Fool's. Uh,
00:15:55
no. No, but no one would even believe
00:15:56
that.
00:15:57
>> Ke Reeves, don't don't be afraid to kick
00:16:00
his ass. K Reeves gets a little
00:16:02
aggressive sometimes. Michelle and I
00:16:04
talked about it. You got to go get up in
00:16:06
his grill and kick his ass. No, but he
00:16:09
knows Yeah, he knows John Wick stuff.
00:16:11
>> No, I know. He's his uh We've talked
00:16:14
about this, but yeah, he's just uh
00:16:17
chill. I did a thing with him once and
00:16:18
he was and you know, Tom Mans was there.
00:16:22
We're all having lunch at a table and
00:16:23
it's Julia Roberts and we look over and
00:16:26
he's he's like 50 feet away at a table
00:16:28
by himself and no one else is around
00:16:30
like kids table.
00:16:32
>> Come over. He's shy. You know,
00:16:34
>> we at the [ __ ] Oscars. Jesus.
00:16:36
>> You don't need to know. You don't need
00:16:38
to know everything.
00:16:39
>> Whoops.
00:16:41
Others can get out in the neut.
00:16:44
>> I signed an NDA.
00:16:46
>> But yeah, he's uh that was the the
00:16:49
flight that he took, little commuter
00:16:50
flight. It had emergency land
00:16:53
Bakersfield and he just bought everyone
00:16:54
a hamburger or something. No, he went on
00:16:57
the bus with them and made sure they
00:16:58
were all dropped off before him. So,
00:17:00
anytime a someone with power in life,
00:17:03
because that's what you have if you're a
00:17:05
celebrity at that level, uh, puts other
00:17:08
people first without any publicist
00:17:10
around. I kind of tend to respect that
00:17:13
person.
00:17:14
>> He was sort of as advertised and loose
00:17:16
and just very unassuming that he was
00:17:19
even on a movie set and just uh I play
00:17:22
his neighbor in Malibu and I'm kind of a
00:17:24
douchebag. And
00:17:25
>> wait a minute, how are you going to get
00:17:26
into character? You're such a nice,
00:17:28
sweet person. So, how are you going to
00:17:30
play a douchebag? What What kind of
00:17:32
method?
00:17:32
>> Start talking cool like LA guys when
00:17:35
they talk to you and they brag about
00:17:36
stuff and start dropping names and [ __ ]
00:17:39
So, it's pretty sounds fun.
00:17:41
>> It's a fun part. Yeah. And he was
00:17:43
>> cool. So, I go to New York for that
00:17:44
premiere which will be tonight.
00:17:49
>> Tonight you're flying to New York.
00:17:51
>> Well, no, tonight when this airs Monday
00:17:52
I will be there.
00:17:54
>> Oh, yeah.
00:17:57
>> Mhm. I understand.
00:17:59
>> And then um anyway, so Oh, I tell him
00:18:02
I'm doing the Ryman in Nashville on the
00:18:05
17th, then Pittsburgh, and then
00:18:07
Charlotte.
00:18:08
>> Back to Charlotte. That's the last one.
00:18:10
Charlotte's a big one. Big place. So, we
00:18:12
got to try to fill it up. I love it.
00:18:14
>> Yeah. Is it an arena or anything like
00:18:17
that?
00:18:17
>> It's a big theater hold 2,800.
00:18:20
>> What?
00:18:21
>> I got to fill it up. That's the hard
00:18:22
part, dude.
00:18:24
>> Low ticket warning. Low ticket warning.
00:18:27
sort of low ticket warning.
00:18:30
>> Um I just had some thoughts about
00:18:32
>> Yeah, give me some thoughts.
00:18:33
>> Just just kind of interesting after all
00:18:36
this time that this
00:18:38
>> the straight of Hormuz
00:18:41
I didn't really get the memo that the
00:18:43
straight of Hormuz cuz I think when I
00:18:46
look at Car Island straight Hormuz I
00:18:48
think of a Kirk Douglas movie in 1965.
00:18:52
We've got to open the straight of the
00:18:54
mush
00:18:56
>> and it's like feels so medieval and yet
00:18:59
the world economy revolves around 100
00:19:02
trillion this 26. So it's kind of like I
00:19:05
guess we ought to have an alternative
00:19:07
plan in case that straight of her moose
00:19:09
is ever closed again.
00:19:11
>> Oh, we really we're really relying on
00:19:12
this straight of her moose. I call it
00:19:15
the S of H. I can't say it enough.
00:19:18
>> I know. And I did notice uh Trump in the
00:19:21
last couple weeks has made has said make
00:19:23
a deal more than even he does. I think
00:19:25
they're going to make a deal. I think
00:19:27
they want to make a deal. They're
00:19:28
looking at a deal. We're going to offer
00:19:30
them a deal. They may take a deal. Else
00:19:32
we're going to bomb them into the stone
00:19:34
age. You know, it's like take a deal or
00:19:38
Barney Rubble. You know, it's it's the
00:19:40
Flintstones. You're going to be like the
00:19:42
Flintstones.
00:19:43
>> I don't know. people that live there
00:19:45
that want that don't want. It's just
00:19:47
such a it's always the same thing.
00:19:49
You're fighting with the higherups. The
00:19:51
people that live there are like probably
00:19:53
nice people. It just
00:19:54
>> No, it's just probably
00:19:55
>> you never know.
00:19:56
>> Suburbs and you know, Iran is as big as
00:20:00
Texas or twice as big. I was just
00:20:02
gigantic.
00:20:03
>> I don't know. I have no solutions. Peace
00:20:05
and love.
00:20:06
>> I have no opinions. Ringo's on the other
00:20:08
other podcast, Flying the Wall this and
00:20:11
that was a great time. We won't overdo
00:20:12
it, but what a great time.
00:20:14
>> He wanted to come on this one who said,
00:20:16
"No, no, you got your own."
00:20:19
>> Yeah, we we don't want We can't We have
00:20:21
to talk too much on this one.
00:20:23
>> I know.
00:20:23
>> Oh, I got another thing.
00:20:25
>> Mhm.
00:20:25
>> Oh, the Well, I think might be in one of
00:20:28
the stories, but there was a big moon
00:20:29
launch. So, people are moon launch. Is
00:20:32
that what happened?
00:20:33
>> Well, they're not Artemis.
00:20:36
>> Yeah. Artemis Gordon from Wild Wild
00:20:38
West. Yeah. Yeah. The Artemis. It's a
00:20:40
pretty big rocket. It's NASA. It's nasty
00:20:44
NASA. It's not Starlink or, you know,
00:20:47
base
00:20:48
>> old school NASA.
00:20:50
>> Yeah. And it's um
00:20:52
>> Cape Canaveral.
00:20:53
>> Yeah, there it is.
00:20:54
>> It took a lap around the Earth and then
00:20:57
>> it's already done.
00:20:59
>> Well, it took off yesterday. I think it
00:21:01
lapped around the Earth and there's
00:21:02
slingshotting.
00:21:04
It'll be to the moon like on in three
00:21:07
days or it's at the moon right now or
00:21:10
whatever. It takes a a while to get out
00:21:12
there and it's going to go further away
00:21:14
from the moon, further in outer space
00:21:16
than any any humans have ever been, you
00:21:18
know what, the guy stepped in [ __ ]
00:21:20
because of course people love this
00:21:22
quote. One of the dudes talking goes,
00:21:24
you know, it's great because this is the
00:21:26
first time we've been to the moon and
00:21:28
blah blah blah. And then he said, I
00:21:29
think he was saying in conjunction with
00:21:32
also doing this, but once he said it's
00:21:34
the first time we've been to the moon,
00:21:36
everyone went, I told you
00:21:38
>> what. Well, here's the weird part.
00:21:42
>> Go ahead.
00:21:43
>> In 1969, early 1969, in July, we put men
00:21:47
on the moon. We had a mission to do
00:21:49
exactly this. Just prove that we can go
00:21:52
get around the moon. So the astronauts
00:21:55
on that thing the rest of their life
00:21:56
cocktail party astronaut man
00:21:58
>> getting right and left.
00:21:59
>> Did you Did you land on the moon or did
00:22:01
you sit on
00:22:02
>> You can't be a bigger star. You could
00:22:04
there's no way you could be a bigger
00:22:05
star than
00:22:06
>> one of the guys in the moon.
00:22:07
>> Walked on the moon. But you you're like
00:22:10
go to a non-star. I I I I I got really
00:22:14
close. Got a good look at it. Uhhuh.
00:22:16
They they just turn away at the cocktail
00:22:18
party.
00:22:18
>> You might as well be an extra. Yeah.
00:22:20
You're you're either the movie star,
00:22:22
>> you're the movie star, or you're the
00:22:24
extra.
00:22:25
>> So, here's my question. Do they have the
00:22:27
equipment available to call an audible?
00:22:29
These astronauts, they're really close.
00:22:31
They go, "Fuck it, Houston." Oh my god.
00:22:34
>> Cuz I think they're testing a module.
00:22:36
We're going down. We don't give a [ __ ]
00:22:38
We're landing on the moon. We're getting
00:22:40
moon dust in combat.
00:22:42
>> I love it. One of them goes, "Guys,
00:22:44
guess what? I packed." They weren't
00:22:45
looking. The [ __ ] dune buggy.
00:22:48
>> Yeah. And the
00:22:51
The weird part they have one extra
00:22:53
astronaut and I was surprised who it
00:22:56
was. I shocked me but he wanted to go.
00:23:00
>> Kimmel. Oh man.
00:23:06
>> Oh. Hey. Everything's good.
00:23:09
>> Go ahead.
00:23:11
>> He's very joy ON ME.
00:23:15
AH. AH. WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS AND WHAT'S
00:23:18
YOURS IS MINE.
00:23:20
>> Even the moon.
00:23:22
>> Yeah.
00:23:24
>> My mom's up there.
00:23:26
>> This is not my fake laugh, but an actual
00:23:28
half cough, half laugh. Yeah.
00:23:31
>> You know what's funny? Dana's never
00:23:33
really sick.
00:23:36
>> I don't believe in it.
00:23:37
>> Good job.
00:23:38
>> No. Guess what? I'm going on the road a
00:23:40
little bit, too. And when you start
00:23:41
getting in airports and up and down for
00:23:43
everybody,
00:23:45
>> uh, you know, it's a recipe for a little
00:23:46
bit of a little bit of viral activity.
00:23:50
>> I'm going to ask you a question.
00:23:51
>> Okay.
00:23:52
>> And you give me your professional
00:23:53
opinion. We're going to let the audience
00:23:54
in a little inside baseball.
00:23:56
>> Yeah. Okay. This is I was anticipating
00:23:58
this. Go ahead.
00:23:59
>> Corporate gig coming up. I was just
00:24:01
telling Heather this yesterday.
00:24:02
>> Yeah.
00:24:04
>> And it's outside of Nashville, which I
00:24:06
love Nashville.
00:24:07
>> And it's a cool place.
00:24:09
>> Cool. Well, you know, they have various
00:24:12
duties you do. So, the money is fine. I
00:24:14
I say great. It's more like how much do
00:24:17
you do when you're there? Most corporate
00:24:19
gigs, you go, you might meet the CEO
00:24:23
backstage. That's all part of it. They
00:24:24
have, you know,
00:24:25
>> take a picture with their kids, say hi
00:24:27
for a few minutes, go out, you do 45
00:24:30
>> minutes, and maybe take a few pictures
00:24:32
after, whatever. But they like it. Boom,
00:24:34
boom, boom. They have [ __ ] to do. They
00:24:36
have some then.
00:24:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. You're not there's usually a
00:24:39
you're you're kind of the entertainment
00:24:40
and there's awards for the company and
00:24:42
all that.
00:24:42
>> Yeah. There's a day and there's a year
00:24:44
and it's their people for the yearly
00:24:46
thing.
00:24:47
>> So they said VIP photos for 15 minutes
00:24:51
with the heads. Fine.
00:24:53
>> Sit with them at dinner for the dinner.
00:24:55
I I I could do that if that came to
00:24:57
that. That's not a big deal.
00:24:59
>> I still haven't done my 45 yet, which
00:25:01
takes some energy. Then this is where
00:25:04
they get you. hour 15 meet and greet
00:25:08
with photos and I said
00:25:11
>> how many people about and they said
00:25:12
around 300 350 I'm like
00:25:15
>> I don't think I can stand for an hour 15
00:25:18
I mean I can't and the flashes people
00:25:21
don't know I don't like too much light
00:25:23
flashes
00:25:24
>> for an hour 15 and then to get in the
00:25:26
bright lights on stage because I'm a
00:25:28
colossal [ __ ] maybe America's most
00:25:30
>> that's pretty stout I you know I've had
00:25:33
a lot
00:25:34
>> I've never heard of that
00:25:35
I did a college once in the 90s and I
00:25:38
think I did close to a thousand because
00:25:40
all the whole student body but that was
00:25:43
just like early days.
00:25:45
>> A thousand.
00:25:46
>> It just went on for a long time. But it
00:25:49
but that was rare. That was an anomaly.
00:25:51
Usually you don't meet and greet longer
00:25:54
than your performance. So you kind of
00:25:56
think
00:25:57
>> never. It's usually
00:25:59
>> it's usually the top employees and they
00:26:01
go we have 30 people. Is that possible?
00:26:04
They have a step and repeat. You have a
00:26:06
backdrop of their company, photographer.
00:26:10
They organize them. Everyone's pretty,
00:26:12
you know, some people a little juiced.
00:26:13
That's fine. They walk in, say, "Hi,
00:26:15
okay. What's your best side?" I put them
00:26:17
where they want. Picture picture. They
00:26:20
move on. Thanks for coming to the show.
00:26:23
And then they move. You know, it's an
00:26:25
orderly fashion and it's fun.
00:26:27
>> Yeah, it's fun.
00:26:27
>> And uh and I said, "I can't do it."
00:26:31
>> Well,
00:26:31
>> and and they were like, "They're not
00:26:32
bending at all." I go, "Can I do 30
00:26:34
minutes?" They're like, "They're not
00:26:34
bending." I'm like, "Why wouldn't they
00:26:37
bend? I don't know why." So,
00:26:39
>> anyway, these are fake problems, but I
00:26:42
just thought I want to do it. That's the
00:26:44
problem. I want to do it.
00:26:45
>> I would just say this and I I understand
00:26:47
it that it would sound like not not
00:26:50
work, but it's small talk and you want
00:26:52
to make a moment with each,
00:26:54
>> you know, couple people coming through
00:26:56
and sometimes another one. It's okay.
00:26:58
And they're always a really big meaty
00:27:01
guy who maybe thinks it's funny to shake
00:27:04
my hands and I literally after a while I
00:27:07
I mean I've been crushed so many times I
00:27:10
start doing this.
00:27:10
>> Crush it. They slap their
00:27:12
>> giant. HEY, COME HERE LITTLE BUDDY.
00:27:15
>> OH, I get thrown around. They put me in
00:27:17
their shoulders. But it's not really I
00:27:19
don't want to meet people. If you didn't
00:27:21
say anything and I was in a room and
00:27:24
people were milling around and I started
00:27:26
bullshitting, I could be there for an
00:27:27
hour. But the fact that you have to be
00:27:30
and honestly here's my neck trouble. I'm
00:27:32
like to stand for an hour 15 and
00:27:34
entertain and be like all the energy of
00:27:36
that which it sounds like nothing to
00:27:38
anyone. I'm telling you and I may be
00:27:40
being crazy and I'll probably do it.
00:27:42
Watch. But
00:27:44
the show is also kind of it's not super
00:27:46
hard. It's just that takes a lot of
00:27:47
thinking and try to make sure
00:27:49
>> because it's a tough audience. Yeah.
00:27:54
>> You never bomb. I would say, could I do
00:27:58
150 before and 150 after? I'm trying to
00:28:01
think of
00:28:01
>> Oh, people to break it up.
00:28:03
>> Or could you send me stuff ahead of time
00:28:05
to sign like Joe
00:28:08
>> the next morning and come in and do the
00:28:09
other 3,000 people?
00:28:11
>> Yeah.
00:28:12
>> By the way, who are they turning away? I
00:28:15
mean, it's so it's really the almost the
00:28:17
whole audience, I guess. Such a
00:28:20
>> I know. I guess it's one of those things
00:28:22
that I do the the only side note I would
00:28:24
say if they can get cuz sometimes you go
00:28:28
to a place they go well there's no meet
00:28:29
and greet they kind of cancel it but the
00:28:31
fact that those people really you know
00:28:34
that's a lot of people it's like it's
00:28:36
like Christ sinks you know what are you
00:28:38
Taylor Swift here
00:28:40
>> yeah everybody gets a bus boy spade
00:28:42
popcorn bucket with my face on it which
00:28:45
they are making unfortunately uh okay
00:28:47
another thing quickly oh we got to get a
00:28:49
story
00:28:49
>> that was a great story though. I loved
00:28:51
it.
00:28:51
>> It's kind of It's kind of inside, but it
00:28:53
makes me look like such an [ __ ] So,
00:28:55
>> no, we understand that. We take that
00:28:57
every second. We're just saying these
00:28:58
are these are just things that happen to
00:29:00
us.
00:29:01
>> It's just odd cuz no one knows what the
00:29:03
money is. If it's $50, what I do at $50?
00:29:06
I don't
00:29:06
>> Well, people say to me constantly when
00:29:08
I'm doing those kind of situations, they
00:29:10
go, "You must hate this."
00:29:11
>> Oh, they always say, and I don't hate
00:29:13
it.
00:29:13
>> Yeah.
00:29:14
>> When I'm doing it, I don't hate it now.
00:29:15
>> Yeah.
00:29:16
>> Anyway, I have one more story. Well,
00:29:18
Lyme disease is taking over the country,
00:29:20
but that we'll talk about that next
00:29:22
week.
00:29:23
>> Paul McCartney
00:29:25
has been banned on Reddit after posting
00:29:28
photos, videos from his show at Fonda
00:29:30
Theater to his subreddit.
00:29:33
>> Uh, yeah, I don't even know what this
00:29:35
means.
00:29:36
>> I don't even know what it means cuz
00:29:38
>> foreign language.
00:29:39
>> Yeah, I have no idea what it means.
00:29:42
>> But subreddit is a place I don't know.
00:29:46
Reddit is just place where people go to
00:29:48
talk about a lot of things. But I think
00:29:50
he posted
00:29:52
something you're just not allowed to.
00:29:53
And it's just funny that Paul McCartney
00:29:55
gets kicked off.
00:29:56
>> Well, and the assistants have to come up
00:29:58
and go, Paul, Paul, Mr. McCartney, I'm
00:30:01
sorry, but you've just been banned on
00:30:03
Reddit. Imagine him, the world's most
00:30:05
famous man. Well, you know, I think it's
00:30:08
okay. You know, I mean,
00:30:09
>> they're [ __ ] on me. Uh, you know,
00:30:11
I'm I'm playing, you know, I'm playing a
00:30:14
straight of Hummus to try to get a peace
00:30:16
movement there. I'll be on one of I'll
00:30:18
be on one of the islands. I'm going to
00:30:19
try to try to get everyone together. So,
00:30:22
I don't know if me be on Reddit, but I
00:30:24
have to ask you a question. What's
00:30:25
Reddit?
00:30:26
>> Yeah.
00:30:27
>> Well, you posted photos.
00:30:29
>> I'm sure he's got someone to uh just
00:30:32
yet.
00:30:32
>> Oh, hang on, Heather.
00:30:34
>> Heather, I'm gonna send this to you.
00:30:35
>> We have audio.
00:30:38
you know,
00:30:39
>> so you can get to Phil. I don't know.
00:30:42
It's so unimportant, but the Reddit was
00:30:46
more exciting because Paul's got some
00:30:47
intern or somebody going, "I've got you
00:30:50
on
00:30:52
Tuby,
00:30:54
Reddit, Squeeb Squab, all the big ones."
00:30:57
And he's like, "I don't know what you're
00:30:58
talking about." And then the guy breaks
00:31:00
the rules and Paul's going to jail now.
00:31:04
just after being jailed in Japan for
00:31:07
having cannabis on him. That was the
00:31:09
last time he was jailed.
00:31:10
>> You should have gone to that show, Paul
00:31:12
in LA at the Henry Fonda Theater.
00:31:17
>> Well, what I did was I tried to get
00:31:18
tickets and I it I shouldn't have done
00:31:21
it, but I I called up the theater to get
00:31:25
tickets and I just um I just made myself
00:31:29
sound like Henry Fonda the whole time.
00:31:30
They didn't take me serious. Well, I'd
00:31:33
like to score a couple of tickets. I
00:31:36
know the Henry Fonda Theater is hard to
00:31:38
get tickets to. I reckon I get a
00:31:41
>> You were handed Henry Fonda.
00:31:43
>> Yeah. Or just I I just sounded like
00:31:44
Henry Fonda.
00:31:45
>> Yeah, that's a good idea. And you know
00:31:47
what the guy said? Oh, really? Who' you
00:31:50
have on the podcast this week, Paul? And
00:31:52
you go, "No, Rain."
00:31:54
>> Oh. Oh, no. These little I forgot my
00:31:57
toys today. All my
00:31:58
>> No, that was my phone. I turned it off.
00:32:00
Oh, thank thanks.
00:32:02
>> No, they go. You like Ringo better.
00:32:06
>> Ringa dingo dingo. I like them all.
00:32:08
>> I know. We like them all. Ringo was fun
00:32:10
to have on though. We had Ringo and
00:32:11
Paul. We just need the uh
00:32:13
>> I know.
00:32:14
>> Oh, there too. Uh okay. Next story.
00:32:19
>> Okay.
00:32:19
>> Oh, this is Okay, stop. This is Abby
00:32:21
Hornichek. Hornosac. She, I think, is
00:32:25
the daughter of a famous uh basketball
00:32:27
player, but she's also a sports
00:32:29
reporter. So, she does one of these
00:32:32
things where they go in and wrestle or
00:32:35
assum
00:32:36
>> some kind of little fun.
00:32:38
>> Watch her try to wrestle. Okay.
00:32:42
>> Oh, hey. Oh, well, there you go. Oh my
00:32:46
god.
00:32:47
>> Wow. I mean with sound it's like
00:32:50
>> well the only question
00:32:52
>> she gets right up
00:32:53
>> well can you break someone's neck that
00:32:56
way or is it
00:32:57
>> yes
00:32:58
>> but I saw a followup with this
00:33:02
>> the person that threw her said
00:33:06
well I knew at the end you turn a little
00:33:08
bit and it doesn't snap their neck I'm
00:33:10
like it's a little itchy and not
00:33:12
scientific.
00:33:14
>> Yeah.
00:33:16
>> Uh oh. Is this the noise?
00:33:19
>> Whoa. Okay, here we go. Oh,
00:33:21
>> I mean that's a slam. I wouldn't for a
00:33:25
million dollars let them do that to me.
00:33:28
>> Okay, that's
00:33:29
>> No, I mean the time that I did it for
00:33:31
you, it was just it was just fun and the
00:33:33
grasp was pretty soft, you know, when I
00:33:35
just threw threw you around.
00:33:36
>> But you just hugged me and then we
00:33:38
rolled on the floor and I go, I don't
00:33:40
know what what are we doing?
00:33:44
You I didn't want to hurt your neck.
00:33:46
Why would you guys roll around on the
00:33:49
neck? Is that what you your idea of fun?
00:33:52
Such an idea of fun. David Spade.
00:33:54
>> I actually like Piers Morgan.
00:33:56
>> I do too. I think he's interesting. I
00:33:58
was watching
00:33:58
>> funny. I like yours doing it. I like you
00:34:01
doing it.
00:34:01
>> Uh it's I'm coming on to it. I was I was
00:34:04
watching him and Tucker Carlson. They do
00:34:06
a lot of you know freaking frack
00:34:08
together argue. Yeah. They do a lot of
00:34:10
that.
00:34:11
>> And uh
00:34:12
>> getting another guy in there and the guy
00:34:13
was giving him so much [ __ ] Did you see
00:34:15
that? It was a rapper or some I don't
00:34:16
know who it was, but they were like,
00:34:17
>> "Oh, no. Yeah, he gets people crazy at
00:34:20
him."
00:34:21
>> Oh, people are getting [ __ ] pissed.
00:34:22
Piers is getting pissed.
00:34:27
>> All right, next one.
00:34:29
>> We're killing it, Dana.
00:34:30
>> I can't believe it.
00:34:31
>> What's this? Oh, I like when you hear
00:34:33
like ancient ruins and then they're
00:34:35
like, "Oh, they were actually set up for
00:34:38
Wi-Fi." You're like, "When? 50 million
00:34:41
years ago?" Really? Okay.
00:34:42
>> This isn't that. But what is this?
00:34:44
>> Yeah. from India has gone viral on the
00:34:46
internet where people charge any device
00:34:49
from a stone and the most interesting
00:34:51
thing is this is more interesting from
00:34:54
the mysterious Kyasa temple find these
00:34:57
places that this temple is known for its
00:35:00
ancient mechanisms with perfectly
00:35:02
crafted small details
00:35:04
>> when they build these things you go
00:35:06
>> they really built this with rocks
00:35:08
>> I I know they sat in the mud and had
00:35:10
thatched huts and yet they could build
00:35:12
like a shopping mall with rocks. This is
00:35:16
from a single rock. That whole thing
00:35:22
>> something's going on. It was built
00:35:25
>> temple. It would take about nine such
00:35:27
tunneling machines and more than 60 days
00:35:29
just to process the stone. But the most
00:35:32
interesting thing is that recently a
00:35:34
video appeared on the internet in which
00:35:36
the author claimed that this technology
00:35:38
was passed down to him from his
00:35:40
ancestors. And in ancient times, people
00:35:43
used laser technology to process such
00:35:46
>> all too much to process. You can nail.
00:35:47
>> Yeah, I can't process this video.
00:35:49
>> When they show like Machu Picchu,
00:35:51
wherever they did Emperor's New Groove
00:35:53
and all these places,
00:35:55
>> yeah,
00:35:55
>> there's just so many places
00:35:58
>> in different countries that
00:36:00
>> are so well built and so 45 degree
00:36:03
angles, stones that are so heavy,
00:36:06
>> you go, "Yeah, they had a donkey and
00:36:08
they had a guy." I'm like, they were
00:36:09
like, we couldn't do this this good
00:36:11
today with all our stuff. So,
00:36:14
something's going on.
00:36:15
>> They had a million guys just with ropes
00:36:18
pulling a stone in the pyramids and then
00:36:21
another lifting them up. Yeah. We
00:36:24
>> working for a million days.
00:36:26
>> Yeah. All they had was like a a stick
00:36:29
and they didn't even have rope and they
00:36:31
built the pyramids. So, I don't know. I
00:36:33
want it to be alien intervention to be
00:36:35
honest. I think that's kind of cool.
00:36:38
that aliens came down and did a little
00:36:40
assist and maybe they'll do it with us
00:36:42
>> and solve the straight of Harm.
00:36:47
>> God, the straight of Harm. That's where
00:36:49
it that's getting a lot of press these
00:36:51
days.
00:36:51
>> If it ends the world, the aliens will
00:36:53
come down and go, "What do you think
00:36:57
straight off her?"
00:37:00
>> They should go widen it a little bit and
00:37:01
help us out a little bit. Well, we
00:37:03
should like never the whole world should
00:37:05
get together and go, how can we get
00:37:08
fertilizer and helium and oil all around
00:37:10
the world without the straight reviews?
00:37:13
Can we do it with some kind of
00:37:14
>> relying on too many? Yeah. Things like
00:37:16
that. It's too much. It's too hard.
00:37:18
>> Yeah.
00:37:18
>> Uh, all right. Next one.
00:37:21
>> New York bill to cut off outdoor lights
00:37:23
by 11 p.m. advances. Passes committee 20
00:37:27
heads to full vote.
00:37:28
>> So, is this good or bad? I don't know.
00:37:30
Oh, it's great if you're a a criminal.
00:37:32
It's fantastic. I mean, they've done
00:37:36
they've done movies about this. That's
00:37:38
the greatest way to increase crime is to
00:37:42
go a full blackout with any kind of
00:37:44
street, any kind of light. Yeah.
00:37:46
>> But it says a proposed law,
00:37:48
>> dark skies protection. I was telling
00:37:50
Heather this, they always name it
00:37:51
something that sounds great.
00:37:52
>> Dark skies protection act. Why do the
00:37:54
dark sky What is that? What are they
00:37:56
talking about? Light pollution
00:37:58
>> reduces light pollution. That's physical
00:38:00
light in your eyes.
00:38:03
>> Oh, it protects wildlife. Okay.
00:38:05
>> How? How?
00:38:08
>> Well, you know, I've never been a
00:38:09
squirrel in Central Park, so I'm not
00:38:11
going to judge or put words in his
00:38:12
squirrel mouth.
00:38:14
>> And I talked an owl and Al said, "Ho,
00:38:17
how?"
00:38:18
>> Oh, man. We have owls up here at the
00:38:20
farm. I love it.
00:38:22
>> Sarah,
00:38:23
>> what?
00:38:24
>> Let's ask Sarah Sherman, didn't you?
00:38:26
Oh, Sarah Sherman.
00:38:29
I'm sorry I [ __ ] up.
00:38:30
>> Oh, yeah. Her little squirrel thing on
00:38:31
update.
00:38:32
>> Oh, yeah. When Sarah Sherman was a
00:38:33
little squirrel. Well, well, we have
00:38:35
>> She could do update this week and talk
00:38:36
about that. I can't wait till it's dark
00:38:38
at night.
00:38:40
>> Half of it is that it is really funny
00:38:42
and that Sarah is enjoying the costume
00:38:46
so much. Like,
00:38:48
>> she loves a weird
00:38:49
>> she's having so much fun that it's very
00:38:51
infectious. It's the silliest thing.
00:38:54
Best thing you can do is can you play a
00:38:56
girl that is like just a postu zit?
00:38:59
She's like, "Oh my god, yes, please."
00:39:01
>> Of course.
00:39:02
>> You have an arm growing out of your
00:39:03
>> Could someone be pooing it out as well?
00:39:08
>> All right. Uh we'll do one more then
00:39:10
I'll tell you the one we didn't do that
00:39:12
I thought was
00:39:12
>> Okay, but we do have the alien video.
00:39:14
>> Oh, this is it. Let's see it.
00:39:16
>> Yeah. Okay. Alien video. Here we go.
00:39:18
Three.
00:39:18
>> Well, we'll do about 30 seconds.
00:39:19
>> Okay.
00:39:22
claims military breeding aliens and
00:39:25
humans.
00:39:27
>> Oh, there's no sound. But I'll tell you
00:39:28
what the guy say.
00:39:28
>> Oh, we don't need sound.
00:39:30
>> So, the guy is in Congress and he says,
00:39:33
"What would you what do you think is
00:39:36
going on?" He goes, "Well, I was briefed
00:39:37
last week and again he says, "It would
00:39:40
just scare people too much." And he
00:39:42
goes, "How?" Cuz someone else came out
00:39:44
this week and said, "There are hybrid
00:39:46
humans." someone else that was sort of
00:39:49
wellknown and we were like, "Oh, that
00:39:51
scared me." And he goes, "I see why they
00:39:53
don't tell people, but they should, but
00:39:56
everyone would flip their [ __ ] lid.
00:39:58
It's too much."
00:39:59
>> Oh, I know the truth, so I can't tell
00:40:01
you.
00:40:02
>> But he said it was so when he was
00:40:03
talking, I was like, "I don't like
00:40:05
this." Cuz he's like an old dude. He's
00:40:07
like, "Listen, man.
00:40:08
>> Well, what don't you like about it? You
00:40:10
think it's true?"
00:40:10
>> He said, "You won't sleep at night."
00:40:12
Yeah. He said, "It's just the [ __ ] they
00:40:14
have on." And you go even hybrid people
00:40:18
I would be h I don't like it.
00:40:21
>> So you won't offer proof of the hybrid
00:40:24
humans and yet you want us to believe
00:40:26
you without any any thing that we could
00:40:29
actually look at or see.
00:40:30
>> Yeah. Ideally just believe me and
00:40:32
there's no proof at all.
00:40:35
>> Well he's trending. He has mar women
00:40:39
wanting to marry him. He's like got a
00:40:41
deal with Exxon. Um, look,
00:40:45
>> look, look, here's
00:40:46
>> what if you're wrong, Dana, what are you
00:40:47
going to do? Are you going to be scared
00:40:48
or not?
00:40:50
>> I'm just go back to science fiction. I
00:40:51
mean, look, AI was already done in 2001.
00:40:54
How when you know can you
00:40:57
>> the the the day the Earth stood still,
00:40:59
1959,
00:41:01
spacecraft lands on the White House
00:41:03
lawn, this giant silver robot comes out,
00:41:07
has signals,
00:41:08
>> stands there, right?
00:41:09
>> Yeah. So, that's what we need. We can't
00:41:11
get mysterious. It's buried. We don't
00:41:13
know. We need a [ __ ] alien robot 50
00:41:16
feet tall coming in a spaceship.
00:41:20
>> And no one's interested even in pictures
00:41:22
of aliens anymore or UFOs cuz it's all
00:41:24
AI is the first comment. AI. So we are
00:41:28
kind of possibly could be hoodwinking
00:41:30
unless you see it physically which is
00:41:32
going to be the future. In the future,
00:41:34
if you say someone says, "We have video
00:41:36
of you robbing a car and stealing it."
00:41:38
You go, "AI." And there's going to be a
00:41:41
shadow of doubt.
00:41:43
>> Absolutely. You really literally can't
00:41:45
believe it. I I do find myself saying
00:41:46
that a lot now to myself. AI.
00:41:49
>> Yeah.
00:41:49
>> AI. That's an AI. And so I would love
00:41:53
for aliens to come down. I think of it.
00:41:55
If you took, you know, t the Taliban or
00:41:59
whatever the Chinese people, Trump and
00:42:02
throw in anyone you want, Hitler, throw
00:42:04
in anybody, get them in a spaceship, put
00:42:06
them out toward Pluto, and they got a
00:42:08
big viewing thing. They can see the sun
00:42:10
and the earth, they would start crying
00:42:11
and hug each other. Hitler would be I
00:42:14
can't believe it down to what really
00:42:16
matters and how scared.
00:42:17
>> We are so alone.
00:42:20
It would be the world.
00:42:22
>> We're so alone in the universe.
00:42:24
>> Everyone would be hugging each other.
00:42:26
>> Yeah, I think so. All everything would
00:42:28
fade away. That or if
00:42:30
>> Well, you know, yeah. Stupid problems.
00:42:33
Yeah. If Jesus came back came back, that
00:42:35
would be a good
00:42:37
>> I get it. Um
00:42:40
>> by the way, um Okay, that's it. That's
00:42:42
enough to talk about.
00:42:43
>> I think you did a really good job today,
00:42:45
Danny.
00:42:45
>> I was kind of puppet heavy today. You
00:42:48
weren't that puppet heavy. I like peers.
00:42:52
>> Well, listen. You did another podcast
00:42:54
that was slow at times, humorous and
00:42:57
others.
00:42:58
>> Well, I hope you'll try to do better
00:43:00
next week. Spe,
00:43:02
>> good luck with Bus Boys. I saw the
00:43:04
trailer looks pretty good. And also,
00:43:07
what's the name of the one with Ke
00:43:09
>> outcome?
00:43:11
>> Outcome's not a very good title. You
00:43:14
don't want to you don't want to give the
00:43:16
outcome to something before you see it.
00:43:19
I don't even know if I need a ticket.
00:43:21
David Spade
00:43:22
>> Spade you know I out outcome John is
00:43:27
about Keanu is a huge star like Robert
00:43:29
Downey he he sort of collapses because
00:43:33
he goes into drug addiction and
00:43:35
disappears alcohol and he's making a
00:43:38
huge comeback and he's got his best
00:43:40
friends with him not me Cameron and Matt
00:43:43
Bow and he well no John hang on and then
00:43:47
he says
00:43:49
and then a week before his big movie
00:43:51
come back and he's been 90 days sober.
00:43:54
>> He gets a call
00:43:56
>> uh his lawyer gets a call. We have a
00:43:57
tape on him and it's going to ruin his
00:43:59
life
00:44:00
>> and it's going to come out right before
00:44:01
the movie. Give us $10 million. So, he's
00:44:05
got to figure out what's on the tape,
00:44:07
who's got the tape, and do I pay the
00:44:09
tape? And he has to go
00:44:13
re relook at all his relationships and
00:44:15
says, "Who actually doesn't like me out
00:44:17
there?" And he finds out a lot of people
00:44:18
don't. Well, that's a great story, David
00:44:21
Spain. But now I don't have to see the
00:44:23
movie because you told me the whole
00:44:25
story. You can't give it all away, but
00:44:28
it was a great movie. Well, you had it.
00:44:31
>> Yeah, it's it's not The Cowboys, which
00:44:35
was a great movie I saw to drive in.
00:44:38
>> Never give away the whole plot of the
00:44:39
movie. You gave away the whole plot
00:44:41
before you seen the movie.
00:44:42
>> Really? No. He's he's being um what's it
00:44:46
called when they
00:44:49
loves the dance.
00:44:50
>> Oh boy, they're dancing. Is this the new
00:44:53
Brokeback Mountain remake?
00:44:56
Ah, I do. Uh, anyway, no, that that um
00:45:01
Takeaway, what's it called? H howdy
00:45:03
dudy? What's the What's the
00:45:05
>> Oh, right. Sorry. Outcome. I'm going to
00:45:08
see that movie in the theater and then
00:45:09
I'm going to see Bus Boys uh week later
00:45:13
or two weeks later. Oh, you're going to
00:45:15
see Outcome on Apple TV.
00:45:18
>> [ __ ] I'm
00:45:19
>> in your own mansion and then you can go
00:45:21
out and see Bus Boys.
00:45:22
>> I didn't know it was a live streamer.
00:45:24
>> Yeah,
00:45:25
>> but they make great movies. Okay, I'm
00:45:27
going to put it on. I'm going to Yeah,
00:45:28
I've got Apple TV.
00:45:30
>> Keano's being blackmailed. That was the
00:45:32
word I couldn't.
00:45:32
>> Okay.
00:45:33
>> Okay, we got it. All right. Thanks
00:45:35
everybody and we'll see you next time.
00:45:42
Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast,
00:45:44
which you are, be sure to click follow
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00:45:54
episode on YouTube, please subscribe.
00:45:56
We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is
00:45:59
presented by Odyssey, an executive
00:46:01
produced by Danny Carvey and David
00:46:02
Spade, Heather Santoro, and Greg
00:46:04
Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and Leah
00:46:07
Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior
00:46:10
producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show
00:46:11
is produced and edited by Phil Sweet
00:46:14
Tech. Booking by Cultivated
00:46:16
Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick
00:46:18
Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa
00:46:23
Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly,
00:46:27
Colin Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kurt
00:46:30
Courtourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach
00:46:32
out with us any questions be asked and
00:46:34
answered on the show. You can email us
00:46:36
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00:46:39
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