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Tom Sainsbury On Being 75% Gay, Chris Parker Friendship, Jacinda Ardern Controversy & Donating Sperm

November 20, 202401:05:26
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Tom sainsbury welcome thank you for
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having me I just noticed that we've got
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rhyming names Tom and Dom
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yeah we can hear you guys we should um
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later down in the chat when we're not so
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busy we should have a company called Tom
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and Dom yeah let's do it you've got um
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now I feel like you're just I've done so
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much research about you and I know that
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you're um a people pleaser and a yes man
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but so you suggest we have a company and
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I'll be messaging you hey you ready to
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start that company you're not going to
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be able to say no no I know it's
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happening are selling
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socks Tom and Dom socks sure sure you um
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you're you're amazing um Tom sandsbury
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the Snapchat dude TV work includes
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shortland Street Wellington paranormal
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my life is murder the breaker up has
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give us a clue 7 days snack Masters
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super City with um taer um so much and
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and so many plays and stuff as well and
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I I get the feeling um the plays for you
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are maybe uh like a creative outlet and
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it's things like snack Masters that keep
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the the lights on that's a really good
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way of putting out like I feel so
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comfortable on stage doing a theater
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show so I guess
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that's yeah yeah that's right it's more
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enjoyable I I quite like like tuming
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like snack Masters like that doesn't I
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love doing it cuz I love the CH I love
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the challenge of presenting something
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and all the things that kind of come
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with it so it's just another um it's
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just another aspect to what I do so I
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think I really love the variety yeah
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yeah so much and um you yesterday
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knowing that you were coming in today I
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was just scrolling through your
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Instagram going right back and um I
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suppose I studied it with a different
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lens to someone that just sees the clips
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every day and watches them and you are
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so good at what you do like um it's such
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a talent to be able to observe people
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then nail their their mannerisms um when
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did that start were you like an
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introverted little boy and yeah I think
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like the observation kind of thing I
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think uh came from my family like my
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family love kind of discussing people in
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the eccentricities and having a bit of a
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laugh about different types of
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characters stuff usually like um usually
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with a kind of a lot of love and like
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especially my dad he's got such a keen
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sense of observation with people so I
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think I kind of learned it through that
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but growing up yeah I was really shy and
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um introverted um but I I didn't really
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kind of delve into the mimicry of people
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or uh until I was well into my adulthood
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so I
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wasn't really copying the teachers or
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anything like that at school you know
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how some kids are so good at being the
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clown and kind of mimicking the teachers
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that wasn't me because some of the some
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of the stuff I I watched it was like um
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you doing like a mom from the 80s uh
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explaining her calary skills and it's
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just you sitting there like you haven't
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done your hair there's no filter you're
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just wearing like a black cap shirt or
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something but it's still
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convincing yeah I think uh uh yeah
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sometimes I just wake up in the morning
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I've got terrible kind of puffy pillow
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face and my hairs I've got terrible bead
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here and I'm just kind of pinking it
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which is like I should I should
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considered that a little bit more but I
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think the um uh you know keep it in its
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purest form so I don't want any of that
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extra stuff anymore I used to be big
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into that and getting the wigs and all
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that kind of the outfits and things but
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I'm just like no let's just PE peer it
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back it seems like it seems lazy in a
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way like you're putting less effort in
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but it's like the fact that that um you
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can still do these characters and they
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seem convincing and they're funny um it
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says a lot about your I you were skill
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first of all but also how comfortable
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you now are with your skill but I also
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love like you say lazy like it is like I
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I think with all these things if it if
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it took too much effort to do in energy
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I don't think I'd do it as much so I
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think like by making it as easy as
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possible helps me and has the the more
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well known you've become has it become
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harder for you to um like just be a guy
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that's sitting in the corner observing
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people you CU you're at a point now I
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suppose where a lot of rooms you go into
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people are observing you yeah that's a
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really good point um I think I yes you
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do there's like an extra
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self-consciousness cuz yes I used to
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just kind of go to the food court or
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whatever and just sit there and just
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kind of just watch everyone and kind of
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take it all in so I do have to be a bit
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more aware of that yeah definitely so
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you Sav your disguises there for the
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food C exactly but that kep on those
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glasses on and just just observe could
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could you do me how would you do me I
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would first of all I'd mention running a
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lot
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and then maybe
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py and what uh and that's all I'm going
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to
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say you've got a wonderful kind of uh
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what is it kind of not raspy
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but yeah I don't want to I don't want to
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why I'll do it later are you um yeah
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yeah maybe we can do it do you get
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people asking you all the time can you
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do me is that a thing you get asked a
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lot no not not too much but I do get
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people kind of asking me to be
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characters and things like that in front
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of them um my sister and Perth we
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because of the you know 5our time
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difference and also yeah we're just in
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different phases of our life like we
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don't see each other all that much um
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but she will message me like every I
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don't know two 3 four weeks um just
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sharing a copy of one of your Clips
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saying who does this remind you of and
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it's like I can usually nail the the
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person in the broader family right away
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you hear that a lot from people that
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sort of thing it's l hearing about it
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it's more the kind of comments under
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underneath my videos I have such I just
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really D out and I abolutely
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love I mean it's so wanky D but the kind
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of the community the the comments
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underneath from the people are brilliant
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and that also inspires you know probably
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a quarter of the comments Inspire the
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next video they're like this reminds me
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so much of that time uh you know I wrote
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a dinky diary and so now sing I'm like
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I'm obsessed with dinky Diaries and kind
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of I'm folding that into my 80s kind of
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sketches and things like that so I think
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it's more the commons yeah it was a
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dinky diary when I watched the other day
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and it was about um the girl the girl
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that had the dinky diary like she had
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like a little trap booby trap thing on
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which was like a hair and remember broke
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the hair cell and it was like it was
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phenomenal did your sister have a dinky
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diary where did like where does this
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come from the dinky diary I had a um I
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had we all had Diaries me and my brother
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and sister we all had Diaries um but the
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dinky thing kind of came out in my
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adulthood that that even existed as a
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concept but the the yeah it's
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interesting it's also when you kind of
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tap into these things like you never
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think about Dinky Diaries and then
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you're suddenly in the zone of the 80s
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and you're thinking about eating the
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salads and you're thinking about you
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know um getting stationary at the
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beginning of the year and then your mind
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starts remembering other things and then
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you can all feed it in it's all kind of
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there buried yeah it's is so is the is
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the demograph of people that watch your
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Clips sort of people the same age or the
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same yeah so you can break it down you
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can put push a button and you can find
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out who's watching your stuff so mostly
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it's women age 35 to 45 is my kind of
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Dem Target demographic is what they say
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and it used to be mostly um kiwis well
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people in New Zealand but now it's
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actually more Australians but you know
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that would be I'm sure 50% new
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zealanders who now live there yeah so
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anyone of that age or anyone that's um
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had a dinky diary or had a sister with a
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dinky diary or had a salad with like
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grated carrot and half eggs and you got
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him um and how many how many different
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characters do you done like 100 200 yeah
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probably 200 over there's kind of stock
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St you know there's the the you know you
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can break it down to kind of stock
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standard characters you know Posh people
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or the dead or a younger like a guy like
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this kind of thing and so varying so I'd
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say there' probably be
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15 types of person and then all the
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characters just going of fit into that
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are you on um like Cameo or swiss you
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know those sites where people mainly do
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like video messages for fancy are you on
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any of those or no I'm not on any of
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those I kind of like I like it and
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sometimes people have seen me messages
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um saying hey can you do something for
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my mom and I'm more than happy to kind
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of do that I think that kind of the
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Cameo and making uh it's I think
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suddenly the pressure is there a part of
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me Dom just wants to be able to walk
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away at any moment even though I've been
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doing this for what seven years seven
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eight years a part of me still likes the
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concept of just being a like to step
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away at any time and having any of that
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pressure of having to do a cameo just
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doesn't sue me you if you're charging
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someone like 50 bucks I suppose they can
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be like well it's not as good as what I
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hoped you 100% 100% right yeah um what's
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your um I don't know if you know the
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answer to this but what's your longest
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streak your longest continuous daily
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streak oh that's a really good
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question uh I I wouldn't know but it's
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it's probably 3 weeks every day is
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probably pretty standard and then I'd
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have a day off to kind of gather myself
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for it's quite hard when you're working
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kind of
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fulltime um or doing a shoot or
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something like that it's always hard to
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kind of fit in the videos but yeah 3
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weeks I'd say it must feel like a lot of
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pressure from your community that people
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like where's where's I haven't seen one
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for two days what's going on this is a
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really good question I
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think I think there's multiple things
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kind of going on with it like I do get
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such a I love doing it I love kind of
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putting it out there and I love the kind
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of reaction I get from it and maybe I'm
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a little bit addicted to that like I'm
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sure there's some kind of dopamine hurt
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when video goes really well cuz
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definitely it's on the flip side when a
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video doesn't go well or people just
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don't kind of connect with it you're
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like oh but I know bummed out I know
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exactly I spent a good seven minutes
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working on that why have you ruined my
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day um but as appre
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uh uh yes but it's also really
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interesting with an online community
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because they are I feel like I kind of
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know these people but it's also like
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it's just comments on a video like it's
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so it's not you're not letting someone
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down to their face yeah yeah and you
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don't even know the people it's like but
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it is it's a dop thing M what's the um
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what's the planning process so you have
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an idea and you write in the notes
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section of your phone got it yeah yeah
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and but sometimes it's just like what am
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I going to do today and one of my most
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um
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uh like I really wanted to do a video
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but I had no idea for it and I was just
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kind of going through snapchat looking
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at different filters and there was one
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of this guy with really swollen face and
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the whole story kind of came out about
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it like he was dog sitting a dog that
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was meant to be hyperallergenic but he's
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kind of having a reaction to it and that
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video did so well and there was no that
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just came from looking at my face with
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this strange filter on so that was no
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prep at all so there's generally no
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scripting no never any
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scripting but I watched one the other
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day it was you I think you being a
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journalist talking to a politician about
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the housing crisis or something yes um
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that must have been scripted that was
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amazing that
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oh yes no that one so the the scripting
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bit is not actually for the listeners
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it's it's not the scripting wasn't on
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screen so I'm a journalist who doesn't
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get a word in eway with a politician but
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I wrote something out and I was reading
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it and I just H as a recording yes that
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was that was written yeah it was
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remarkable was it was really really good
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what about one take
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wonders many or like what's the Aver am
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of good question probably one and 10
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would be a one take Wonder most of them
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most of them would be probably three Tes
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you just kind of find out what it is
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when you're doing it but there is no
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it's you're just kind of vibing it out
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yeah there's not much prep even that's
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amazing cuz I I'll pull my phone out and
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do like a a running selfie like hey it's
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raining it's my favorite and it's just
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me being me but sometimes that'll take
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me like half a dozen to be me course
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yeah 100% it's it's
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because you might as well do it all you
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might as well do it satisfactory do you
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know what I mean if you've kind of
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screwed it up but also um I get tongue
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tired you know I um
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most of my characters as are big talkers
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and sometimes you just can't get all the
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woods out
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properly it's real refreshing to hear
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this like I I don't yeah I don't know
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what I was expecting part of me I
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suppose kind of hoped you had like a mle
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skin notebook and it was like well
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thought out and you had like a maybe if
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you're going on holiday you do 10 in
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advance and you schedule them and stuff
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but there's nothing like n n just wake
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up and just wake up often wake up and go
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what should I do this morning um but in
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saying that sometimes I've had um you
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know I've had five good ideas they've
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just come to me in a day and I've just
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kind of scribbled them on my notes and
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so sometimes there is a bit of prep and
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also with these things you don't know
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how much is prep like I might think of
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like the politician one I actually
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thought about that a couple of weeks ago
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and then I was like I should do
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something about that planted in my head
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but you don't your brain kind of
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processes it without you having to do
00:13:19
much work if that makes sense and you've
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never um as far as I'm aware like you've
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never done any sort of like brand deals
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with them so it's it's always been like
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free free content
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always free content well no I've done
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probably over the seven years I've
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probably done about 12 brand content
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kind of stuff some of them were um
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fantastic like I did a Pizza Hut one
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where um I they got me to design my own
00:13:44
pizza and then that became a whole thing
00:13:46
for three weeks which was heaps of fun
00:13:48
so things like that well I'm pleased
00:13:50
about that yeah I'm pleased about that
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because yeah I mean it's the work the
00:13:54
works so good and you've built up this
00:13:56
amazing following if you can't sort of
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monetize it somehow well what I always
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say is that because you've got this
00:14:02
falling like I just did a tour of
00:14:04
Southland and people only came to the
00:14:06
show because they knew my videos and
00:14:08
that's how you kind of make it on box
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office and tickets house okay and other
00:14:12
opportunities that come your way as a
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result of it 100% was was there like a
00:14:16
like a Tipping Point sort of moment or a
00:14:18
breakthrough Moment Like a moment where
00:14:19
you think where you can actually sort of
00:14:21
like pinpoint if you look back over the
00:14:22
Tom S career not like it's all been
00:14:26
so gradual like there been no kind of
00:14:30
jump in my career it's all been like
00:14:32
just the next slow progression
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sadly no I think that's kind of good in
00:14:38
a way because if you have exponential
00:14:39
growth then it's likely to be I think it
00:14:42
increases the chances of being a One
00:14:43
Clip Wonder or an exponential fall as
00:14:45
well I think um slow and steady growth
00:14:47
is the way to go yeah what about
00:14:50
um the clips that you've like posted and
00:14:52
then like delete it like an hour or two
00:14:54
hours later like yes and there's two
00:14:57
like there's uh yes there's ones that
00:14:59
you're like this isn't as good as it can
00:15:01
be or like I haven't nailed the joke
00:15:03
usually I just kind of leave it up but
00:15:05
sometimes I'm like this could be done
00:15:06
better quickly take it down and you can
00:15:07
do it better another time but there's
00:15:09
also been ones where it's just kind of
00:15:11
uh it's missed the Mark or it's a little
00:15:13
bit kind of too mean or that kind of or
00:15:17
it's going to be too contentious and do
00:15:20
you have the energy to kind of boldly
00:15:22
stand behind your kind of contentious
00:15:24
kind of opinion which you taken those
00:15:26
down like what is there anything that
00:15:28
you can think cuz you're you're one of
00:15:30
the least mean people I think I've met
00:15:32
yeah I think it's when like you're you
00:15:34
just have a lone mean threshold I've
00:15:36
heard you say like you like um you like
00:15:39
some provocative comedians like rookie
00:15:40
ja um but you like to watch him being
00:15:42
provocative rather
00:15:44
than 100% you're watch it going God I
00:15:46
wish I had that kind of boldness but no
00:15:48
I'm I know go rcky and entertain me 100%
00:15:52
I can't think of any off the top of my
00:15:54
head but it would be it it would be more
00:15:56
kind of um when you're kind of uh uh
00:16:02
nastier to the characters it's like cuz
00:16:04
my all the characters I do are so silly
00:16:07
pompous full of themselves and stuff
00:16:09
like that but when you're kind of kind
00:16:11
of being mean about them in their
00:16:13
situation or something that they can't
00:16:14
kind of help or um yeah that's that's
00:16:18
the that's the hard ones what was the
00:16:20
story with um just Cinder and Clark's
00:16:23
cat pedals yeah so pedals the cat that
00:16:25
got run over I think it was on Meola
00:16:27
Road and point sh yeah did you you did
00:16:30
you did a character you got some
00:16:31
backlash no what was the I did a video
00:16:33
as Paula been like there was a the the
00:16:36
timing I just had to commit to it the
00:16:38
timing was great so pedals got run over
00:16:40
and then Paula Bennett Nikki K Maggie
00:16:44
Barry were all in a car doing a video at
00:16:47
the same time and so I just kind of did
00:16:49
a video that connected it that it was
00:16:50
that car that ran over paddles I think
00:16:52
most of people most people saw it and
00:16:56
most people had a good laugh about it
00:16:58
know the back story I just a split
00:17:01
that's hilarious yeah like I have to do
00:17:04
this yeah is there um is there any sort
00:17:07
of fear of um like cancellation is that
00:17:08
something that plays on the back of your
00:17:09
mind
00:17:11
uh um yes of course of course
00:17:14
cancellation is always a thing to worry
00:17:16
about
00:17:17
especially sometimes when you're in the
00:17:19
kind of the throw of kind of creativity
00:17:20
you don't even realize what you're kind
00:17:22
of creating so cancellation is something
00:17:24
to consider but also there's a bit of if
00:17:27
you've got a contentious video the next
00:17:28
day everyone's kind of forgotten about
00:17:30
it I find
00:17:32
yeah this is so interesting I promise
00:17:34
only another couple more about the no of
00:17:37
course are these the questions you get
00:17:39
asked all the time no not at all yeah um
00:17:42
yes so politicians you've done oh by the
00:17:44
way when you when you start typing your
00:17:45
name into Google like Tom sainsbury the
00:17:48
the you know how does the Google
00:17:49
complete thing it comes up with Tom
00:17:51
sainsbury just under wedding was that a
00:17:54
clip you did or were you a guest at the
00:17:55
wedding no I did a video of it that went
00:18:00
hu I actually did take that video down
00:18:02
it just was so cont I did a video of her
00:18:04
talking about her wedding which was
00:18:05
earlier this year or end of last year
00:18:08
and I um it became very contentious yeah
00:18:12
why I think it was because she
00:18:14
unfortunately she's such a polarizing
00:18:16
kind of character people kind of people
00:18:18
kind of used it as an opportunity to
00:18:20
hate on her but then also to fend her
00:18:22
and just became this big F wasn't so
00:18:24
much on me it was more about the
00:18:27
language that people were saying to each
00:18:28
other and the commentary was just like
00:18:30
getting really toxic so I was like let's
00:18:32
just take this down or hide it yeah soz
00:18:35
is she is she a friend do you know who
00:18:37
um I no she's not a friend but I've
00:18:39
metet her a few times yeah yeah what and
00:18:42
You' you've been on um yeah knowing you
00:18:44
were coming here I've listened to the
00:18:45
podcast you've been on you've been on
00:18:46
Simon Bridges that's right um and you've
00:18:48
been on Paula Bennett That's right yes
00:18:51
um you seem to have a good relationship
00:18:52
with those guys even though you
00:18:54
mercilessly took the puss out of them
00:18:57
yeah I think it's it's an interesting
00:18:59
one with them because when I kind of
00:19:00
first started doing it um uh I didn't
00:19:03
really think of them as people but then
00:19:04
when you kind of it's an interesting
00:19:06
thing when you mimic someone and you
00:19:08
watch so many videos of them I just
00:19:10
connected with the humanity and then of
00:19:12
course I did the show called have you
00:19:14
been paying I um give us a clue which is
00:19:16
a shres thing with Paula with me Paula
00:19:19
and Hillary Barry and then Simon came on
00:19:21
and did a few things and so you just
00:19:22
kind of T to these people and and with
00:19:24
all the politicians even though I take
00:19:26
the piss out of them and I might not
00:19:27
agree with them I kind of enjoy them as
00:19:30
characters and quite enjoy them as
00:19:32
people yeah as people yeah Michelle
00:19:34
Obama's got this quote that I really
00:19:35
like it she she see something it's I'm
00:19:38
I'll probably botch it up but it's
00:19:39
something like um most people are hard
00:19:40
to dislike up close that's that's such a
00:19:43
that's I've never heard that that's
00:19:44
that's it it's really true yes I've had
00:19:46
someon bridges on the podcast and he he
00:19:48
was Bloody great I know bloody great and
00:19:50
also got such a good sense of uh humor
00:19:52
about himself what about Trump did have
00:19:55
you do you done much with American
00:19:57
politics it'd be very easy to do he is
00:19:59
easy to I've actually just done Mike
00:20:01
Pence his VP back in the day but it just
00:20:05
didn't kind of connect with my or like
00:20:06
the audience just weren't interested in
00:20:08
anything American it's
00:20:10
interesting you know I should just make
00:20:12
videos that kind of inspire me and stuff
00:20:14
but it has been quite interesting doing
00:20:16
I've been doing lot less politics now
00:20:18
because I've got so many Australians
00:20:19
people from the UK and so many Americans
00:20:21
kind of watching my stuff that the more
00:20:23
localized stuff just doesn't connect
00:20:25
with
00:20:27
people that's so fascinating hey thanks
00:20:29
for sharing all that St pleasure can we
00:20:31
um talk about young Tom now yeah of
00:20:33
course okay so um yeah the year year so
00:20:36
you're from Dey farm and M meta you got
00:20:39
it um what best and worst things about
00:20:40
being a farm cut did you enjoy it I used
00:20:43
to I used to get sent in the school
00:20:44
holidays to my uncle and Auntie's Farm
00:20:46
in Lana I [ __ ] hated it did you
00:20:48
couldn't stand it it was awful it's
00:20:50
always last to get up in the morning
00:20:51
last to put on my overalls and I'd get
00:20:52
the the the [ __ ] spot on the back of the
00:20:54
tractor where the mud gets flung up yes
00:20:59
this I'm this is all speaking to me what
00:21:01
would I say would be the worst the best
00:21:03
thing about it would be uh okay the
00:21:07
worst would might
00:21:09
be there was never on a farm you never
00:21:12
relax cuz anything can happen at any
00:21:14
time and so sometimes you'd be going and
00:21:17
helping dad with a cow that's having
00:21:19
trouble sorry You' be helping dad with a
00:21:22
cow that's having trouble in the middle
00:21:23
of the night do you know what I mean so
00:21:25
it's just a sense of uh you can't fully
00:21:28
relax I think that would be the and I
00:21:30
think I think Farmers across the world
00:21:32
would appreciate that Vibe the the best
00:21:35
thing about it would probably be I just
00:21:37
loved having so much kind of empty space
00:21:39
to kind of just kind of go and wander
00:21:41
and kind of be myself and uh what else
00:21:45
would I like about it also I I love
00:21:48
animals and even though I've got this
00:21:49
kind of uh complicated relationship with
00:21:52
farming them I did get to spend a lot of
00:21:54
time with
00:21:57
animals yeah yeah yeah so let's say the
00:21:59
bo thing actually is the The Killing and
00:22:01
the death like forget about the not
00:22:03
being able to relax yeah but there is
00:22:05
there's always jobs to be done it's like
00:22:07
I'd get up and have a nice relaxing
00:22:08
breakfast and my Auntie Robin I'd be
00:22:09
like oh can you take this Billy to the
00:22:12
vet and fill it up with milk and it was
00:22:13
like a couple hundred meters walk and
00:22:15
I'd have to Dom you are speaking my you
00:22:17
are we've had a Shar experience that's
00:22:20
exactly what it's like yeah they they
00:22:21
they called me a city slicker and I was
00:22:22
I was from Farmers from the ' 80s I was
00:22:24
hardly a city slicker but I just didn't
00:22:25
want to be on the farm and the smell of
00:22:27
silage you got it it's awful um is that
00:22:31
why you're a vegan now I think it is
00:22:33
yeah when I think kind of back up well
00:22:35
it is I think um yeah like I'm I'm
00:22:39
terrible with my eating and stuff like
00:22:40
you know I'm not doing it for kind of
00:22:42
health reasons but it was definitely uh
00:22:44
having this this experience of seeing
00:22:48
animals that you kind of really
00:22:49
appreciate and enjoy and like and
00:22:50
they're your friends and then you can
00:22:51
see them killed it's it's
00:22:54
hard yeah yeah I'm um I'm I'm the worst
00:22:58
s of Meer like I uh yeah I'll gladly
00:23:01
pick it up from new world but I I don't
00:23:02
want to know the back story yeah but I I
00:23:05
mean there is that thing about not
00:23:06
wanting to know the backstory but I and
00:23:08
but someone said said to me uh if you
00:23:11
don't kill your own animal but you know
00:23:12
even in tribal times Dom not everyone
00:23:14
did the killing people did the
00:23:16
butchering some people did the Gathering
00:23:18
and then they ate the fruits of the the
00:23:19
meat so that's fine where you CU you
00:23:22
were always a creative CAD like you
00:23:24
started writing plays when you were like
00:23:25
nine yeah um where did that come from as
00:23:28
you know your dad creative is your mom
00:23:30
creative my mom is an English teacher
00:23:32
and both my both my parents were really
00:23:37
good big readers they would read to me
00:23:40
and they were also really uh they went
00:23:42
to all the movies especially led by my
00:23:44
mom and then my dad would be dagged
00:23:45
along and enjoy it but they took me to
00:23:47
some pretty amazing like I remember
00:23:48
watching Heavenly
00:23:50
Creatures um uh shist like when I was
00:23:55
like tinaa and just kind of being taken
00:23:57
to these amazing films and just kind of
00:23:58
enjoying them so I think the culture was
00:24:00
there but in terms of painter paper I
00:24:02
don't know where they came from shind
00:24:04
list doesn't seem like an appropriate
00:24:06
movie I think it was I think it was 11
00:24:09
and I remember going to it and kind of
00:24:11
been blowing away by it and you're um
00:24:15
you're you're you're a gay you're a gay
00:24:17
M well 75% gay of who of who you say
00:24:20
what what is yeah that was on another
00:24:21
podcast I think what what does what does
00:24:23
that mean what does 75% gay mean I think
00:24:26
I would describe well I think it's not
00:24:28
uh so binary for me of like I'm only
00:24:31
attracted to men I think wow let's just
00:24:36
say if we worked if I lived in a time um
00:24:40
I lived in a time where it was forbidden
00:24:42
I could have managed a relationship with
00:24:44
a woman and it would have been fine it
00:24:45
wouldn't been it wouldn't have been
00:24:46
completely against what I like white
00:24:49
knuckled it I could have white knuckled
00:24:50
it and been fine probably had probably
00:24:52
had kids but been very kind of Yearning
00:24:54
and unhappy but I would have been I
00:24:56
would have managed it when did you when
00:24:58
did you realize you were more into into
00:25:00
into guys than girls do you think well I
00:25:03
think a lot of kind of game men have
00:25:04
this experience of like you don't really
00:25:06
kind of uh you don't really address it
00:25:08
or kind of like I guess from when I was
00:25:10
like 11 or 12 I probably would have
00:25:13
known if I was honest with myself but
00:25:15
you just kind of
00:25:16
don't process those feelings you just
00:25:19
kind of kind of just keep soldiering on
00:25:21
and not kind of address it and then
00:25:22
whenever someone would kind of bring it
00:25:24
up or someone one of your friends with
00:25:25
have a girlfriend or something like that
00:25:27
or there was talk about girls to just
00:25:28
kind of like be a master of of
00:25:31
deflection deflection yeah right yeah so
00:25:36
you're growing up in like a place like
00:25:38
matam matter in the 80s or 90s whatever
00:25:41
it was yeah I can't imagine it was like
00:25:42
a hot bed of you no day activity you got
00:25:46
to like it was the uh like I've there's
00:25:50
no I've got no trauma about it but it
00:25:52
was definitely the worst the worst thing
00:25:54
you could be would be like societally or
00:25:57
in class it would be the worst thing you
00:25:59
could possibly be like there was most
00:26:01
aversion to gainers like you could be
00:26:03
the worst behaved boy but if you were
00:26:06
gay that was worse than that yeah but
00:26:09
also in saying that like I like there
00:26:11
was still so many avenues like there was
00:26:13
so much theater like theater was so kind
00:26:15
of um encouraged and encouraged for me
00:26:18
and all that kind and art and all that
00:26:20
kind of stuff still existed then you see
00:26:22
you you um came out I think to your
00:26:24
parents at like 28 yeah that's quite it
00:26:28
is I know did they know like you know
00:26:32
when you came out was it like okay Tom
00:26:34
yeah exactly T we know we haven't really
00:26:38
talked about we haven't really talked
00:26:40
about it but yeah they they must have
00:26:42
known was um yeah was that something
00:26:45
that you built up to be a big thing and
00:26:47
yeah of course but you know you know I
00:26:50
was like this is the weekend they're
00:26:51
coming up you have to tell them and then
00:26:53
you don't tell them and then another
00:26:54
year passes that's the vibe of it I know
00:26:57
I'm like just ripped it should have
00:26:59
ripped their Band-Aid off yeah yeah I'm
00:27:01
I'm intrigued by this stuff because as
00:27:03
um you know as like a heterosexual male
00:27:05
it's not a just something you don't even
00:27:07
have to think about it's not a
00:27:08
conversation you have to have and it
00:27:09
just feels like a extra level of
00:27:12
complexness and an already complicated
00:27:15
time of your life um yeah I
00:27:18
definitely I would yeah also like maybe
00:27:23
I haven't kind of processed any of those
00:27:25
feelings or anything like that
00:27:26
or you
00:27:28
shut yourself down so much to any of
00:27:30
that kind of feeling that you don't
00:27:33
really uh experience anything truthfully
00:27:36
but you also have kind of put this armor
00:27:37
up so nothing's really penetrated you
00:27:39
yeah excuse the
00:27:41
pun pun
00:27:43
excused
00:27:45
um did you want to talk about the spoon
00:27:47
Don stuff I about that yeah so you're um
00:27:50
I'm like um I suppose I've I've got um a
00:27:54
level of curiosity about this cuz um joj
00:27:56
and I when we were married we had years
00:27:57
and years of um IVF and fertility
00:27:59
treatment yes um in the end that was
00:28:01
unsuccessful after something like six
00:28:03
rounds of IVF so then we went into the
00:28:05
donor spoon donor SPO um route and
00:28:07
ultimately we gave up and that wasn't
00:28:09
successful but um um first of all yeah
00:28:12
good on you for doing it it's really
00:28:13
cool so um so you've got two biological
00:28:17
children that's right running around and
00:28:20
love them like it's just it just keeps
00:28:22
getting better and better and I'm so
00:28:24
lucky uh from the get-go the mother so
00:28:27
um I donated to lesbian couple so each
00:28:30
of them had a child age so the children
00:28:32
are technically biologically half
00:28:34
siblings and um just by I think it's
00:28:38
just like like I really love the parents
00:28:40
I love the family and it's just I think
00:28:42
by luck we just took a chance and it
00:28:44
kind of paid off and we get on really
00:28:45
well I'm I'm sure there are that and I
00:28:48
recommend people do it and I really
00:28:49
encourage people do um guys to do it but
00:28:52
I might have locked out so I I
00:28:55
think I I think with other people maybe
00:28:58
I don't know it it may go peer shaped
00:29:01
but thankfully for me it hasn't so you
00:29:03
so they they approach you they approach
00:29:06
me they had a kind of a we had a mutual
00:29:08
friend and then the friend kind of rang
00:29:09
me up said do you want to meet these two
00:29:10
and I kind of did and then we just kind
00:29:12
of everything the ball started rolling
00:29:14
before I really thought about it and now
00:29:15
there were two beautiful children
00:29:16
running around yeah you you make it
00:29:18
sound real easy but having um been in
00:29:20
the same position as this this um
00:29:23
lesbian couple and having to ask a
00:29:25
friend of mine to do it there's quite a
00:29:26
few hops to go through like he had to go
00:29:27
through some counseling and then there's
00:29:30
the specimen room specimen room the the
00:29:33
wank room the wank room okay the wank
00:29:35
room so this is my realization because I
00:29:37
used to laugh about it because it was
00:29:38
all carpeted like it's floor ceiling
00:29:41
walls the carpet and the whole time I
00:29:43
was like this is feels not right because
00:29:46
surely You' need surfaces that you could
00:29:48
easily wipe down but someone explained
00:29:50
to me it's for sound it's like it's
00:29:52
insulation so all the carpets in the
00:29:54
room so that people can't hear you m
00:29:59
and I didn't even think about that I'm
00:30:00
like that makes so much sense yeah but
00:30:02
most it's guys that are providing the
00:30:04
specimen in this room it most guys start
00:30:07
I think um discovering themselves and
00:30:09
discovering masturbation in the teenag
00:30:10
years when you're living at home we know
00:30:12
how to do it silently I know I know I
00:30:14
know so um whereabouts was it was it
00:30:17
fertility Associates the one in um Ally
00:30:20
or the one in green L Green Lane yeah
00:30:22
you know what's that one called I don't
00:30:23
know I can't I can't remember what that
00:30:24
one's called that's the L bougie one but
00:30:26
the um yeah I've been in that specimen
00:30:29
room as well and so there was a lazy boy
00:30:31
chair with like a shet over oh my God
00:30:33
yes and there was no one else has been I
00:30:35
don't know I've been anyone to went to
00:30:37
this room you're talking about and
00:30:39
there's like a there's like a um uh uh a
00:30:42
filing cabinet in the corner when I was
00:30:44
there and you kind oh kind of you open
00:30:45
it and there's one well thumbed to
00:30:46
Penthouse and then
00:30:48
that's that's the extent of it yeah yeah
00:30:50
there was there was a penthouse I'm
00:30:52
thinking I've got I've got D my phone
00:30:55
I'm good I'm good and then um
00:30:58
yeah it's so I remember like they they
00:31:02
they give you the little ptle yes so you
00:31:04
you're going into the room I'm so glad
00:31:06
I'm talking to someone who's had this
00:31:07
experience so you know what you're doing
00:31:10
in the room they know what you're doing
00:31:11
in the room this so I um I got it done
00:31:14
as quickly as what I could and then I
00:31:15
left the room then I did like a fake
00:31:18
Sprint up to the reception cter and I
00:31:19
was like stop the clock stop the clock
00:31:21
no laughter or anything he it's not a no
00:31:24
it's all very very very serious and then
00:31:26
you kind of walk down with the Walk of
00:31:28
and you hand over cuz you've got to put
00:31:29
it in a bottle and then into a plastic
00:31:30
bag and hand that one over only one time
00:31:33
so I uh I went in seven times cuz there
00:31:36
was going to be two children I had to do
00:31:38
seven
00:31:39
deposits and only one time I had to wait
00:31:42
and I had to wait and I had to wait so
00:31:44
this poor guy was in there just unable
00:31:47
to kind of tip over but eventually he
00:31:49
emerged with a sweaty
00:31:54
brow Tom I can't believe I've met
00:31:56
someone else who's had the success
00:31:59
it's a it's a random thing and that's
00:32:00
why um um this is when I was still
00:32:03
trying um to have have a child with my
00:32:06
own sp and then um so I I asked a friend
00:32:08
to do it and there was um there was like
00:32:10
a checklist and a bunch of reasons why I
00:32:12
SED this particular friend part of it
00:32:13
because he had his own family and he
00:32:15
lived in a different part of the country
00:32:16
and we're not friends that see each
00:32:17
other that often so he wasn't going to
00:32:18
be around every weekend like saying oh
00:32:21
look at their eyes or yeah you know it's
00:32:24
kind of a weird I don't know from my
00:32:26
part it's probably an ego thing it's
00:32:27
like a weird sort of ownership thing you
00:32:29
don't want but um I think there's I I
00:32:31
think there's so much emot there's so
00:32:33
much involved in it there's so much um
00:32:36
uh emotion and there is that kind of
00:32:39
biological connection with whether you
00:32:40
have it or not like when when I first
00:32:42
met the children I didn't feel a huge
00:32:43
kind of biological urge with them but as
00:32:46
the kind of years have gone on like I'm
00:32:48
so kind of fond of them now and spend
00:32:50
more and more time with them so there is
00:32:52
you do kind of uh yeah it's it's
00:32:55
complicated and can be messy yeah but
00:32:58
it's um it's a big thing for you to go
00:33:01
through for someone else so yeah I know
00:33:04
you're good on you for doing that well
00:33:05
it isn't as isn't like you only have to
00:33:07
go seven wow well I'll tell you what the
00:33:09
hard thing was for me like actually I
00:33:11
had to do none of the other I didn't
00:33:13
have to carry a child for 9 months but
00:33:15
the um I think cuz I'm the most D I'm
00:33:18
the most screamish person I know and of
00:33:20
course you have to take these well I had
00:33:21
to take all these blood tests so you
00:33:22
take a blood test before you start um
00:33:25
depositing and then afterwards you have
00:33:27
to give one just so that you're clear of
00:33:28
any diseases that you might kind of give
00:33:30
to the mother and I just passed so every
00:33:34
time I did it I would I passed out well
00:33:36
the first time I did it I passed out
00:33:37
fell onto the ground this tiny Filipino
00:33:39
net to kind of carry me to the ground
00:33:42
and then I was like kind of sat in the
00:33:44
car kind of gathering myself for half an
00:33:45
hour and then I left and I got a phone
00:33:47
call going so sorry we didn't take
00:33:49
syphilis you have to go back and test
00:33:50
for syphilis I had to go to it
00:33:53
again syphilis yeah syphilis wow what is
00:33:56
this the 1800s syphilis who has syphilis
00:33:59
I know I reckon it would have been safe
00:34:01
um yeah and does this is probably not
00:34:04
something that you think about but I
00:34:07
suppose I'm thinking about on behalf of
00:34:08
you like you're you're quite you're
00:34:09
you're very well known like people know
00:34:11
the name or they know the face does that
00:34:14
add an extra level of embarrassment or
00:34:15
is it not something you think about like
00:34:17
when you're handing in when you're going
00:34:18
in there or you yeah I think uh back
00:34:21
then so this was 10 years ago when I did
00:34:23
the deposits and so I was just kind of
00:34:25
starting out on the scene my videos were
00:34:26
just kind of going out there so there
00:34:28
was none of that then I don't think and
00:34:30
it was also like cuz I was just getting
00:34:31
into standup I was like there's so much
00:34:33
about this that I can put into my
00:34:34
standup and and I have yeah yeah yeah I
00:34:38
suppose you can also go up to the
00:34:39
counter and be a character right Bo my
00:34:42
dad here exactly not actually Tom well
00:34:45
as you said with the kind of this
00:34:46
hitting the clock going finished stop
00:34:48
the they're not they're all very
00:34:50
professional and very clinical yeah so
00:34:52
so the AL so the kids are quite old now
00:34:55
yeah so eight and six
00:34:58
have they got your mannerisms or is
00:34:59
there anything that you can sort of see
00:35:01
yourself in them I can't but when I show
00:35:03
people pictures they're like I can see
00:35:05
you in it but I can't really see it so
00:35:06
much I think the I think um so the
00:35:11
8-year-old is a little girl and then
00:35:13
this sixy is a boy and the the the girl
00:35:17
has more than typical more than usual
00:35:21
child flear for theatrics in writing so
00:35:24
I'm like okay okay honey good luck to
00:35:27
you
00:35:28
yeah well that's cool and what do they
00:35:30
what do they call you is it just like
00:35:32
Tom or they call me Tom yeah yeah and
00:35:34
then um Tom but very very uh aware like
00:35:39
I and they've been explained to about
00:35:42
donation and all that kind of stuff so
00:35:43
they're very aware of it I think that's
00:35:46
healthy but yeah again from a parenting
00:35:48
perspective it's another layer of you
00:35:50
know explanation yeah I guess with um
00:35:54
you figure it out though you could
00:35:55
explain it to kids in a way that they
00:35:56
can handle it what whatever age they're
00:35:58
at I suppose yeah and there's also like
00:36:00
a commun like a rainbow community of
00:36:02
like parents in a similar situation so
00:36:04
like um that they're not the only ones
00:36:07
in the situation as far as I'm aware and
00:36:09
you and your partner Josh jacob jacob
00:36:12
Jacob you've been together a long time
00:36:14
now right you got a house we have we do
00:36:16
have a house yeah I think we've been
00:36:17
together for six seven years yeah right
00:36:20
right do you you guys want kids at no no
00:36:23
we've got a cash and that's enough for
00:36:24
us it's like we love having the kids
00:36:27
over
00:36:28
and also nieces and nephews but you know
00:36:29
when they go at the end of the day like
00:36:31
oh thank goodness I can rolls yeah but
00:36:34
we yeah we um we like to
00:36:40
chill are you guys married no you want
00:36:43
to get married no no yeah uh why we
00:36:47
fought for your rights I know I
00:36:50
know uh it's an interesting one and we
00:36:53
often kind of ask this question I think
00:36:55
neither of us want the kind of
00:36:58
you know the ceremony of the wedding
00:36:59
like I don't need that I just get you
00:37:01
know I'm I'm the center of attention on
00:37:03
stage doing standup and stuff like that
00:37:04
so I don't kind of need that and we're
00:37:07
also a little bit uh embarrassed about
00:37:11
public dispay of affection and for us
00:37:13
weddings is the most uh most public
00:37:16
display of a fiction that you can
00:37:17
possibly have but every wedding I go to
00:37:20
I love and I do love when people get
00:37:22
married but it's just not for us you
00:37:24
what does what does he do what does
00:37:25
Jacob do he works for the council so he
00:37:28
a he's a urban planner so he thinks he
00:37:31
thinks about things about the city and
00:37:33
how it's running so he's kind of talking
00:37:35
about aqueducts from Rome and he's
00:37:37
talking about how the city kind of runs
00:37:39
and the better way to do it and and
00:37:41
strip malls and and how to get flow of
00:37:43
people in so he kind of thinks about
00:37:46
Society what does he make of what you do
00:37:49
he is uh he's fully invested he's he's
00:37:54
what's really good about Jacob is he's
00:37:57
not not a f like he really appreciates
00:37:59
what I do but it would be bad if he was
00:38:00
a fan he's very
00:38:04
um he's very what's the
00:38:07
word truthful if if if he thinks
00:38:10
something's good he lets me know and if
00:38:12
it's not so good he's willing there to
00:38:14
talk about it which I think is healthy
00:38:15
for a relationship and he's uh and it
00:38:19
also means that when is when something
00:38:20
is good and he tells me it's good I know
00:38:22
it's
00:38:23
true if that all makes sense um are you
00:38:26
are you good at communicating and
00:38:27
relationships um really good question I
00:38:32
think uh I think uh previous
00:38:35
relationships not so much but for some
00:38:36
reason yeah quite badly in some previous
00:38:39
relationships but there's just I do
00:38:41
think there's something about finding
00:38:42
the right person for you and he and I
00:38:45
have no trouble with
00:38:47
it yeah that's good I think um everyone
00:38:50
needs those bad experiences because they
00:38:52
it's like the evolution process it leads
00:38:54
you to the that you are there's
00:38:56
something about like I don't I've want
00:38:57
to do my research but like three main
00:38:59
relationships in your life like this the
00:39:01
first one's just like the the throws of
00:39:04
the passion and stuff and the second one
00:39:06
you work out the relationship you work
00:39:08
out who you are in a relationship and
00:39:09
the third one's the one that kind of
00:39:10
works I think that might be true um I've
00:39:13
got a card here called miscellaneous
00:39:14
with some just bits and pieces of the
00:39:16
Tom Saints story on was your first job
00:39:18
on a um a commercial for a Canadian beer
00:39:22
yes it yes it was yes how the [ __ ] did
00:39:25
that happen um so they were filming okay
00:39:29
I don't know if I've talked about the
00:39:30
story they mol and dry came over and
00:39:33
like some kind of deal with New Zealand
00:39:35
they came over and they did eight ads
00:39:37
here um and I auditioned and they cuz
00:39:40
when you when you're an actor you I was
00:39:43
just taught they ask for your skills and
00:39:45
you just go I'm going to stick horse
00:39:48
riding and then if I get the job of
00:39:49
horse riding then you do it and so one
00:39:53
of the things I ticked was pyramid water
00:39:56
skiing so I I did the audition and then
00:39:58
they called me back they're like let's
00:40:00
come in and meet the producers I met all
00:40:02
the American Producers and stuff or
00:40:04
Canadian producers and they're like so
00:40:05
is it true that you can ski in a pyramid
00:40:09
like so like one the bottom on the
00:40:12
shoulders one person on the top they
00:40:13
asked me and I was like yep so I said
00:40:16
yes I could I'd never like I can barely
00:40:19
stand up on water skis it takes me so
00:40:21
long I was like in a pyramid are you
00:40:23
serious and so I it's very N I know so n
00:40:27
and I was like um yeah I can do that and
00:40:29
then I went and I just stressed about it
00:40:31
for days and then I rang up my agent and
00:40:33
said listen I don't she made it really
00:40:36
good she rang up and said he doesn't
00:40:37
feel comfortable doing a pyramid and
00:40:38
they're like that's fine we like him
00:40:40
come in and do this other AD so I did
00:40:42
this other AD of a Peeping Tom looking
00:40:44
through a hole in a toilet in a bathroom
00:40:46
at a house party and spying on a girl
00:40:50
they think but I'm actually staring at
00:40:51
the beer I'm like I can't wait to get
00:40:53
hold of that beer is that that on
00:40:55
YouTube or anywhere I haven't been able
00:40:57
to find it it would be crazy to find
00:40:58
what year was that it doesn't sound like
00:41:00
aged very well no not at all absolutely
00:41:04
not maybe 2002 or three right that was
00:41:08
age so how old were you then like in
00:41:09
your early 20s or whatever yeah would
00:41:11
have been 20 21 so you you left school
00:41:13
and you you you were drop out you were
00:41:16
doing like theater school and you
00:41:17
dropped out or something uh I auditioned
00:41:19
for theater school and didn't get in
00:41:20
okay so I didn't do a good enough job so
00:41:22
um in my audition and so then I just
00:41:24
went and did English Lit at Oakland uni
00:41:27
m
00:41:28
yeah what was the plan what was the plan
00:41:29
B Plan B was uh I think the writing like
00:41:33
I audition for drama school and didn't
00:41:35
do it and then I was like you know what
00:41:37
I'm going to be a playright so actually
00:41:38
focused on writing plays for years and
00:41:40
years and years yeah um you met Katie
00:41:44
Perry in Vegas I did what's the how like
00:41:47
randomly or is it like a like a one of
00:41:49
those VIP meeting greets where got it
00:41:51
you pay a couple hundred bucks or
00:41:53
something for that you got it um so we
00:41:56
were over menum kiwi friends but I
00:41:58
didn't actually have to pay for the meet
00:41:59
and greed so even though I told everyone
00:42:01
that I actually have a connection to
00:42:03
someone a kiwi that works in her company
00:42:05
so he managed to kind of get me into the
00:42:07
VIP experience and I love Katy Perry so
00:42:10
I got to meet her before her concert of
00:42:13
um where you talk to her for 2 minutes
00:42:14
and then have a photo and stuff like
00:42:15
that but I was so badly sunburned and I
00:42:17
was so hot and I was so sweaty that when
00:42:20
I had a photo I put my face on who like
00:42:22
I didn't want to put my armor under cuz
00:42:23
I had you know those big sweat things
00:42:25
under my arm so I was like C on my arm
00:42:27
around cuz my pit Will sweat all over it
00:42:29
so I just went face to face with my
00:42:31
hands stiffly bym as side and when our
00:42:32
faces touched when we pulled apart there
00:42:35
was like a so and you can see this if
00:42:38
you scroll back far enough on
00:42:40
Instagram oh my God that's amazing you
00:42:43
is she your like favorite artist one of
00:42:45
your favorites uh no my favorite
00:42:48
artist across the board any discipline
00:42:51
of art I would say Stephen King is my
00:42:53
favorite artist the writer of horror h
00:42:57
oh I heard on another podcast you were
00:42:59
doing that you're whenever this podcast
00:43:01
was recorded you were in the process of
00:43:03
reading all 60 of his books yeah so did
00:43:07
you do that no I'll be up to 30 now so
00:43:09
I'm reading Kujo which I'm sure everyone
00:43:12
the dog yeah um you've been um a
00:43:15
practicing Buddhist for 16 years good on
00:43:18
you do yeah um yeah why What attracted
00:43:21
you to Buddhism I was uh dating a
00:43:24
Buddhist and I was working with a
00:43:25
Buddhist randomly and they kind of uh
00:43:28
they kind of just kind of I kind of
00:43:30
exposed to it gently and then every time
00:43:33
I heard more about it I was like this
00:43:34
just really fits in with what I think
00:43:35
about life and all that kind of stuff
00:43:37
and then I it took me two years to kind
00:43:39
of make any commitment and I'm so glad I
00:43:41
did um and it's a practice I mean it
00:43:44
does require a little bit of discipline
00:43:45
and when you are disciplined you reap
00:43:46
the rewards but otherwise yeah it's
00:43:48
wonderful what you yeah what are the
00:43:50
what are the main sort of like
00:43:51
foundations of it what's the I think
00:43:53
it's like it well a big thing is like
00:43:57
kind of taking any kind of uh what you
00:43:58
might perceive as like negative emotions
00:44:00
or anything like that and just going
00:44:01
okay what is the what is the worth and
00:44:03
what is the good out of this that I can
00:44:05
kind of take from it or grow from it and
00:44:07
also not putting Judgment of like evil
00:44:09
and bad and all those kind of things
00:44:10
going okay what is the good in here the
00:44:12
main um tenant is for me so you chant
00:44:16
num and one of the translations of that
00:44:19
is um to grow loest flowers out of mud
00:44:22
so it's like basically taking any bad
00:44:23
situation and finding the good and what
00:44:26
about the reincarnation aspect of it
00:44:28
yeah that's the one thing I strugg I
00:44:30
struggle with that concept that's the
00:44:33
one thing I struggle with but it must
00:44:35
make you feel feel good about all the
00:44:37
animals that you and your family killed
00:44:39
yeah
00:44:40
exactly that's still that come back come
00:44:43
back I know um small town Scandal this
00:44:47
was a podcast you did last year yes um
00:44:50
so how did how did that come about was
00:44:52
that someone was it Sam Collins from got
00:44:55
us yes yeah yeah yeah he's a great guy
00:44:57
yeah he's um so wonderful I love him he
00:44:59
just I did a uh cooking I did a food
00:45:02
podcast for them and he's like if you've
00:45:04
got any ideas please come and reach out
00:45:06
to me and and we the idea was doing
00:45:10
something like this like having a kind
00:45:11
of a conversational kind of one but I
00:45:13
was like what am I what what am I into
00:45:17
and I've been listening to so many I
00:45:19
think podcasts are my favorite are my
00:45:22
favorite and I was listening to so many
00:45:24
of the True Crime ones or the famous
00:45:25
ones making my way through S and
00:45:27
teachers pit and things like that in
00:45:29
[ __ ] town and uh just going I'm also my
00:45:33
comedy is taking the piss a bit so I'm
00:45:35
like let's do taking a p out of a small
00:45:37
town Scandal True Crime documentary and
00:45:40
so that's how it kind of
00:45:42
happened yeah it's it's it's amazing I I
00:45:44
only started listening to it the other
00:45:45
day knowing that you were coming in here
00:45:47
so it's basically an extension of what
00:45:49
you do on social media so it's you doing
00:45:52
a it's only you but it's you doing like
00:45:54
a total of I think 50 characters all up
00:45:56
and the course of the series but you
00:45:58
don't have the with social media you
00:46:01
have your face and your hand mannerisms
00:46:03
and you know face filters or whatever
00:46:06
but this is just voice only which is
00:46:08
makes it extra difficult what was the
00:46:09
process with that the so yeah they were
00:46:12
40 I think they're 46 cars in total um
00:46:16
but how we would do my brain would turn
00:46:18
into absolute mush and I could only
00:46:20
manage doing three so we wouldn't record
00:46:22
it like I wouldn't if there was a
00:46:23
conversation I wouldn't do one character
00:46:25
then the other back and forth I just
00:46:27
record all of one character and I could
00:46:29
only do three at a time because if I did
00:46:32
anymore I like I don't know who I am
00:46:34
anymore so thanks to them thanks to Sam
00:46:37
and Adam who did the recording it was
00:46:38
very kind of it was very
00:46:40
um uh short bursts and is there talk
00:46:45
about that being made into a TV show now
00:46:47
that's right yeah so we're developing it
00:46:49
um a TV producer uh listened to us and
00:46:51
she's like this would be great for a
00:46:52
television show so we kind of put on an
00:46:54
application I had very low hopes for it
00:46:56
and then they let's do it so it's all
00:46:57
kind of happening at the moment so it's
00:47:00
it's only very uh it's only in the right
00:47:02
scripting stage at the moment so how's
00:47:04
that going to work in terms of actors
00:47:05
and stuff is it just you um it's not so
00:47:08
we're going to get all the other I'm
00:47:10
just going to play the lead and everyone
00:47:12
else is going to play we're going to
00:47:13
cast all the other roles um people are
00:47:16
like why isn't it all you and I'm like
00:47:19
with PR like it would just take it would
00:47:21
just be a nightmare it would be a
00:47:23
logistical nightmare for me to do
00:47:25
everything and to slow it like it would
00:47:27
be so slow of like me having to go and
00:47:29
get my wig fitted and my big hook nose
00:47:31
put on to do all the other side of the
00:47:33
scene it would just be too much of a
00:47:34
nightmare yeah and you've um you've had
00:47:36
some meetings in the states say about
00:47:38
doing some work over there yeah yeah how
00:47:41
how'd you get on with him um it's all uh
00:47:44
it's a kind of a lukewarm I've got a
00:47:46
kind of manager over there that I'm just
00:47:48
kind of keeping in touch with it's in
00:47:50
ever since the writer strike last year
00:47:54
and actually I was over there when it
00:47:55
was kind of happening it's it's
00:47:57
Hollywood is kind of a bit dead now and
00:47:59
my manager's advice was just like just
00:48:01
focus on your TV show and get it kind of
00:48:04
done and then we'll see what
00:48:05
happens yeah cuz the um yeah how do you
00:48:09
like how do you find the Americans
00:48:11
they're relentlessly positive a and
00:48:13
they're so enthusiastic yeah but um do
00:48:16
you leave the those meetings like how
00:48:17
many people are in those meetings let's
00:48:19
set the scene for
00:48:20
us usually actually usually it's like
00:48:23
one on one or one on two like me and I
00:48:25
go and meet with two people or I just go
00:48:27
and meet one person quite casually in a
00:48:30
cafe somewhere and just kind of chat
00:48:31
with them and stuff they
00:48:34
are there is the cliche of them been
00:48:36
relentlessly positive but you can also
00:48:38
tell pretty early on you can tell pretty
00:48:40
early on that they're not vibing with
00:48:42
you um or that or that if they're not
00:48:45
vibing with you or it's mostly the idea
00:48:47
they're like I'm not really you can tell
00:48:48
when someone's not into your idea
00:48:50
because you can of go in there and you
00:48:51
just try and Pitch your uh story ideas
00:48:54
um but occasionally
00:48:57
occasionally you win them over so you
00:48:59
kind of just sit down with them you're
00:49:00
like hi you shed a bit have a bit of
00:49:02
small talk and then they're like what do
00:49:03
you want to talk about because time is
00:49:04
money you've got 20 minutes with these
00:49:06
people or 40 minutes and then you just
00:49:09
kind
00:49:09
of pretel off your your TV ideas and see
00:49:13
how what if if anything kind of hits
00:49:15
with them yeah from the um the thousands
00:49:19
of hours of stuff you've done on stage
00:49:21
like are you are you good at winning
00:49:22
people over if you can tell they're not
00:49:24
initially no I'm terrible I'm I'm I'm
00:49:26
not so yeah I'm not very good at
00:49:31
it what I love about Americans is that
00:49:34
they what I love and I and it kind of
00:49:37
goes against my whole sensibility is how
00:49:40
relaxed they are and their successes
00:49:42
like they're like yep I've done the show
00:49:45
yep it was awarded I'm a great person
00:49:47
I'm a wonderful person and you're like
00:49:49
what no I kind of go on going here's my
00:49:51
script don't bother reading it it sucks
00:49:53
and I suck please don't call me again
00:49:55
and then running off going hope they
00:49:57
call me and you're just like I've just
00:49:59
don't and people are like what is wrong
00:50:01
with you and I'm yeah it's yeah it's the
00:50:05
Kiwi way though like the um yeah I don't
00:50:08
know what I don't know why we're why
00:50:09
we're like that I think um yeah like
00:50:12
other kiwis have had on the the podcast
00:50:13
like M like Martin Henderson for example
00:50:16
I think after a while they learned that
00:50:17
this is this is how you have this is
00:50:18
what you have to do to survive over
00:50:20
there you do it's it's so unnatural it
00:50:22
goes against everything we taught you
00:50:24
got it it's interesting but it's it's
00:50:26
like the British people I've met have
00:50:28
kind of got the same Vibe as us like I
00:50:30
get it Australians I feel are more the
00:50:32
American thing like when I've had
00:50:33
meetings and I'm like the Australians
00:50:34
are much more American and much more
00:50:36
kind of confident and and owning their
00:50:38
successes and how great they are I feel
00:50:40
like um new zealanders are getting
00:50:42
getting better at that if if my friends
00:50:43
on LinkedIn are anything to go by yes
00:50:45
the LinkedIn posts are very American I
00:50:48
think LinkedIn has just created
00:50:50
environment where it's okay for new
00:50:51
zealanders to do that yeah cuz in all
00:50:53
the comments immediately afterwards no
00:50:55
one's saying take your hand off it it's
00:50:56
always y I know I know so good on Linton
00:51:01
um oh I wanted to ask you about this I
00:51:04
heard this on um another podcast um so
00:51:07
your parents were in the audience once
00:51:09
when you did some rude jokes you didn't
00:51:11
in this podcast you didn't elaborate on
00:51:12
what it was oh like there's multiple
00:51:15
things there was one there's this one
00:51:18
image boomed into my head so in one play
00:51:20
I did I uh there's ejaculate so I am
00:51:25
seduced by this dance and then I um
00:51:27
ejaculate and I had this whole rig of
00:51:29
shampoo in my hand and then as a fun gag
00:51:32
we learned that I could spray it into
00:51:33
the audience and this the audience would
00:51:36
scream at it like getting hit with
00:51:37
shampoo and I just remember flinging one
00:51:39
time and it's only then that I realized
00:51:40
that my mother was in the audience and
00:51:43
it sprayed all over her face but did
00:51:47
you like did you know that she was in
00:51:49
the crowd or she surprise I thought she
00:51:52
was it was like um she I didn't realize
00:51:55
she was coming there and I I hadn't
00:51:56
really thought about you coming that
00:51:58
night exactly you got it Tom um yeah no
00:52:01
so and it wasn't at all it just kind of
00:52:03
the spray went across her glasses I was
00:52:05
like I this is the worst and another
00:52:08
time was just yeah when I was first
00:52:10
starting out on Comedy and stuff like I
00:52:11
was much more kind of Frank about my
00:52:13
sexual escapades I like oh my poor
00:52:14
parents but we don't even like it's a
00:52:18
wonderful way they don't even kind of
00:52:20
address it but that makes it even worse
00:52:23
does it make it worse in a way it's like
00:52:25
the elephant in the room like say so you
00:52:27
you know you sprayed it with your fake J
00:52:29
she knows she got sprayed with your fake
00:52:30
J um I actually am really comfortable
00:52:33
not kind of I think we're both kind of
00:52:35
happy going let's not even address this
00:52:37
and just keep going um so I think this
00:52:42
was in two separate podcasts um you
00:52:44
talked about you were asked the same
00:52:45
question but by two different hosts at
00:52:47
two different times your favorite
00:52:48
karaoke song and in one of them you said
00:52:50
um uh Ace of Bas the sign yes which is a
00:52:55
fabulous song yes um and the other one
00:52:57
you said House of the Rising Sun by The
00:52:59
Animals and I thought I could see I
00:53:02
could see both of them like um the
00:53:03
sign's just it's it's a great it's a
00:53:05
great [ __ ] pop song gay anthem
00:53:07
perhaps um House of the Rising Sun I
00:53:09
could imagine you doing that and doing
00:53:11
the almost like the character voice you
00:53:13
got it um it's really good and I'd also
00:53:15
probably probably throw in chandelier in
00:53:17
there as well C chandelier um no see see
00:53:21
chier it is yeah but I think with the
00:53:24
ace the thing I chose Ace of B because
00:53:27
um I'm not a very good singer but one
00:53:29
time I had to sing that song randomly
00:53:31
and it came to me I was like okay so
00:53:33
this is I've got reasonable B of skill
00:53:35
to do Ace of Bas um how of the rising
00:53:37
sign there's a whole journey about it
00:53:39
and you can you know you can pretend to
00:53:41
be in a western and there's a whole kind
00:53:44
of beautiful theatrics associated with
00:53:46
it and then same with chandelier you can
00:53:48
just kind of really let it
00:53:50
rip do you how often does this happen
00:53:52
how are you no once a year yeah once a
00:53:56
year so oh here's sainsbury but once you
00:53:59
know usually around usually around
00:54:00
December actually you know here
00:54:02
Sainsbury's doing The House of the
00:54:03
Rising Sun yeah um I ran Pastor
00:54:05
billboard yesterday for a play that
00:54:07
you're doing with um Chris Parker and
00:54:10
could have forest and brle St for us
00:54:12
camping that's right yeah what is
00:54:14
camping camping is a play that we're
00:54:16
doing with Silo theater and it is a
00:54:19
we're calling it a I'm well I'm calling
00:54:22
it like a sex comedy so it's like an
00:54:24
adult um adult based comedy where um
00:54:28
cter and I play husband and wife Chris
00:54:30
and Brinley play newlyweds and we've
00:54:32
both booked the same Booker badge or
00:54:35
Airbnb and something like that and
00:54:36
suddenly like we're all kind of stuck
00:54:38
together and it's all kind of like
00:54:39
mounting tensions and all that kind of
00:54:41
carry on and you you guys did like a a
00:54:44
camp out at the theater like a right
00:54:46
like a week ago or a couple of weeks
00:54:47
prior to this what for just like PR it
00:54:50
was for PR um and uh it was for yeah for
00:54:54
PR but people could also kind it was
00:54:56
live stream so people could check in and
00:54:58
give us questions and stuff like that
00:54:59
but mostly just to um to get awareness
00:55:02
about doing the play and it was a dream
00:55:05
come true loved it you in Chris Parker
00:55:07
you're really tight yeah we're we we're
00:55:09
dear old well yeah we're dear old
00:55:11
friends it's been 10 years here that's
00:55:13
that's an old friend I'd say what you
00:55:15
guys do is it quite similar or no um
00:55:18
like in terms of like multiple multiple
00:55:20
characters no yeah no it's like a how's
00:55:22
it different it's like a standard it's
00:55:25
like a it's like like a amram British F
00:55:30
so what you would go to at your Small
00:55:32
Town Theater but we kind of putting the
00:55:34
sheen of a bit more kind of money and
00:55:36
stuff behind it and and we're knowingly
00:55:39
in it but we're just playing the one
00:55:40
character right on no I mean like what
00:55:43
what you both do respectively on social
00:55:45
media sorry it's like in terms of like
00:55:48
playing a whole lot of different um what
00:55:50
we what Chris and I do yes no we're
00:55:52
definitely um we are definitely uh got
00:55:56
slightly different um takes on
00:55:58
characters and things but there's
00:56:00
definitely lots of crossover and there's
00:56:02
also like um we flick each other
00:56:05
messages going hey have you done
00:56:07
something about you know wasting Q for
00:56:09
something and we're like no I haven't
00:56:10
done that it's like I'm going to do a
00:56:11
video I'm like perfect and uh Chris for
00:56:15
me is just the master of observation
00:56:19
like I kind of um fency myself kind of
00:56:21
enjoying that kind of stuff but the the
00:56:23
observations he makes I'm like God damn
00:56:26
it you're so clever no it's incredible
00:56:29
though that we've got um both you guys
00:56:31
like National prises and you both do
00:56:33
like these things on social media where
00:56:34
you managed to tap into the Kiwi psyche
00:56:36
or the Australian psyche and you both do
00:56:37
it so well yeah um yeah and and you're
00:56:41
both doing it at the same time as well I
00:56:42
know so cool and that we're friends as
00:56:44
well I think it's it's great and also
00:56:47
inspiring there is the thing of like
00:56:50
damn it he's so you know like when he's
00:56:52
I'm like why didn't I think of that but
00:56:54
I have that across the board whenever I
00:56:55
watched Tik Tok or anything I'm like oh
00:56:57
that's such a good idea yeah yeah who um
00:57:03
yeah who sort of inspired you growing up
00:57:05
how old are you what are you 40 I'm 42
00:57:07
so was it Chris Lily for you or is there
00:57:09
someone before Chris Lily Chris Lily
00:57:11
inspired me later but do you know who I
00:57:12
was actually thinking about this today
00:57:14
Leslie Nelson from Naked Gun can you
00:57:16
remember he I just remember being six
00:57:19
watching nak gun 33 in a thir or
00:57:21
whatever it was called in the movie
00:57:24
cinema scre like as a no I would have
00:57:26
been seven or eight I can't remember but
00:57:28
just screaming with laughter the entire
00:57:30
time I just found him so funny so
00:57:32
strangely llee neelson and then after
00:57:35
that I started watching French and
00:57:36
Saunders so Dawn French and Jennifer
00:57:38
Saunders and just all of their skits I
00:57:40
was like this is this is
00:57:42
me I love those Naked Gun movies as well
00:57:44
we had a little video store around the
00:57:46
corner from our house in palis north and
00:57:47
we we'd hire those movies over and over
00:57:49
again yeah so God jokes never got old
00:57:51
nice Beaver don't call me Shirley yes
00:57:56
so good and then there was one called
00:57:58
airplane do you remember that one from
00:58:00
yeah and I just remember watching that
00:58:02
like on like it's just so stupid and but
00:58:05
it's still funny listening to your son
00:58:07
is really good hey um yeah one thing I
00:58:10
like um talking about with my guest when
00:58:12
they're open for it is about their their
00:58:14
mental health how's how's yours
00:58:17
been my mental health I how I kind of
00:58:20
explain it is whenever I'm um feeling
00:58:23
anxious or down or anything like that
00:58:25
it's often I I don't really kind of
00:58:28
describe myself as a depressive or an
00:58:29
anxious person because it's often if you
00:58:31
take take me out of this situation like
00:58:34
if if I was having a stressful time and
00:58:36
someone's like you don't need to worry
00:58:37
about anything more you're going to Bary
00:58:38
for the week my mood would instantly
00:58:41
like instantly be fine and i' totally be
00:58:43
so it's it's usually
00:58:45
circumstantial um when I'm kind of
00:58:47
feeling down or anything like that and
00:58:49
it's um but there are definitely kind
00:58:52
of patterns of kind of feeling
00:58:54
overwhelmed or uh not not behaving in
00:58:59
your best way or or being really
00:59:02
frightened about situations that can
00:59:04
kind of compound and so it's but the
00:59:07
older I get the more I'm aware of the
00:59:09
triggers and all that kind of stuff so
00:59:11
i' would explain it I do get down I do
00:59:13
get really anxious yeah I think that's
00:59:15
human though way um yeah you you you
00:59:18
have a lot on your plate you always have
00:59:21
I'm so thankful that you're here today
00:59:22
because I know how I know how busy you
00:59:24
are but um long time P I have you yeah I
00:59:28
have likewise but I find if I get if I
00:59:30
get more than a few things on my plate I
00:59:32
start to get like overwhelmed like I the
00:59:34
the diary overwhelms me yeah 100% um
00:59:36
yeah so how do you how do you manage
00:59:38
manage that like um the opportunity that
00:59:40
you've got versus how much you can
00:59:41
actually handle it's a it's still a work
00:59:44
in process uh work in progress progress
00:59:46
work in progress Dom so um you know it's
00:59:49
still happening and I was really kind of
00:59:51
overwhelmed earlier in the year um what
00:59:54
has really helped s sadly and I'm really
00:59:57
privileged that I can afford it I've got
00:59:58
a someone helping me in EA like a
01:00:00
personal assistant kind of thing and
01:00:02
she's kind of helping me with the stuff
01:00:04
cuz contracts and business emails just
01:00:08
really drag me down and I put them off
01:00:11
and then they compound and they get
01:00:12
worse and it's like why haven't you
01:00:13
signed this contract things to get need
01:00:15
to get moving and just by having her
01:00:16
there to facilitate that has just
01:00:18
alleviated so much but you shouldn't um
01:00:21
that seems common sense to me because
01:00:22
you you've got this very particular set
01:00:24
of skills that um well no one else can
01:00:26
do really like it's um it's very very
01:00:29
unique and it's a very special talent so
01:00:31
it should not be expected that you're
01:00:32
going to be good at um you know crossing
01:00:34
the tees and dotting the eyes well yes I
01:00:37
know but being okay with like I agree
01:00:41
intellectually but to actually believe
01:00:43
that as hard and and being um like a
01:00:45
self-described like people pleaser or or
01:00:48
yes man or whatever you want to call it
01:00:50
um yeah do you do your own negotiations
01:00:53
and things or you must get [ __ ] over a
01:00:55
lot
01:00:56
the good thing is with the kind of
01:00:58
acting kind of stuff is that I've got an
01:01:00
agent who looks after that kind of stuff
01:01:02
and so I can kind of hide behind the
01:01:04
screen of that that usually I'm like
01:01:06
what if you want I'll make you
01:01:08
hippie yeah yeah are you um I think I'm
01:01:12
sort of like that as well it's just like
01:01:13
a need to be liked or something like
01:01:16
that are you are you as you get older
01:01:18
are you like um getting more comfortable
01:01:20
in your own skin skin and more
01:01:21
comfortable with um boundaries and
01:01:23
things or I think I'm still as bad as I
01:01:26
always was but there was there's an I
01:01:28
think the only Improvement is the self
01:01:30
awareness of it so like when I I I think
01:01:35
back my behavior and the patterns have
01:01:36
always been the same but it was more in
01:01:38
kind of denial and not really processing
01:01:41
it the problem is is like um the stakes
01:01:45
are a bit more higher because you are
01:01:46
kind of getting these bigger jobs and
01:01:48
more people are kind of watching and all
01:01:49
that kind of stuff so it is a it is a
01:01:52
struggle say you're you're out for
01:01:54
dinner with um with your and someone
01:01:56
comes up and they want a photo or they
01:01:57
want to chat for a couple of
01:01:59
minutes what happens yeah I'll be like
01:02:03
uh I haven't really had any bad fan
01:02:06
experiences and when they come up they
01:02:08
just want to have a photo just kind of
01:02:09
chat to me for a minute and then go on
01:02:11
their way like I haven't had bad ones
01:02:13
where they want to kind of monopolize my
01:02:15
time um so you just do it and get it
01:02:18
over and done with I do it and engage
01:02:20
and also but I'm also so thankful to
01:02:22
them like it's
01:02:24
not it's not a struggle for me like I'm
01:02:26
like thank you so much for dedicating
01:02:28
time to kind of exper you know um
01:02:30
watching my stuff and having reaction to
01:02:32
it and also coming up and talking to me
01:02:34
I actually get a it's it's a wholly
01:02:37
positive
01:02:38
experience yeah CU I saw an interview
01:02:40
that Israel Lis the UFC fighter did and
01:02:42
and he said he's become more aware of
01:02:44
his personal boundaries but I I can
01:02:46
understand from his perspective it's
01:02:47
like you know he's a big star and it
01:02:49
must happen a lot yes but I'm I'm
01:02:50
probably the same as same as you and I
01:02:53
think you know I'm humbled if someone
01:02:55
someone comes up and it's not like it's
01:02:57
going to start like a line of a line of
01:03:00
people outside prago no exactly no I'm
01:03:03
like thank you and it happens you know
01:03:05
there's never a l yeah of course there's
01:03:06
never a l there's one person by
01:03:08
themselves sometimes sometimes forcing
01:03:10
their husband to stand on the side or
01:03:12
forcing their husband to take the photo
01:03:13
of us and that's the extend of it yeah
01:03:17
what are your what are your goals for
01:03:18
the future I feel like you're just sort
01:03:20
of um yeah you're just sort of coming
01:03:23
into your own a yeah although although
01:03:25
that I probably would have said that to
01:03:26
you when you came when we interviewed on
01:03:28
you on the edge like 10 years ago it
01:03:29
feels like it's just been a constant
01:03:31
sort of man maybe this is just an
01:03:33
outsider's perspective maybe from you it
01:03:35
feels like there's been some Peaks and
01:03:36
troughs or whatever but it just feels
01:03:38
like the trajectory just keeps on going
01:03:41
yeah I think that I kind of agree with
01:03:44
that what would
01:03:46
be it's just I love the world of make
01:03:50
believe I love characters and all that
01:03:51
kind of stuff and I think the future is
01:03:52
just kind of engineering that more I
01:03:55
also love Strang well I really love
01:03:58
directing as well so if I can just
01:04:01
engineer it so I can get a couple more
01:04:03
directing jobs in there there would be
01:04:05
great too yeah what would you IDE yeah
01:04:08
what would you ideally do like say say
01:04:10
yeah Money Was No Object you had say
01:04:12
tiger cash yes what would you what would
01:04:15
you what would you do would you drop the
01:04:16
Social Media stuff would you stop acting
01:04:19
yeah it's an interesting like I wouldn't
01:04:23
desire that like I do like having
01:04:25
multiple threads going on I do really
01:04:27
like that but if I was like what's the
01:04:28
one thing I'd choose it would probably
01:04:30
be long form stories and that would
01:04:32
either be like writing a book or
01:04:34
directing a feature film that would be
01:04:37
number one yeah oh that's brilliant hey
01:04:41
thanks for your time today hey thank you
01:04:43
oh oh can you do me now how would you
01:04:46
no no I'm not going to I'm too
01:04:48
embarrassed I'm too
01:04:50
embarrassed
01:04:52
okay thanks Tom hey Tom thank you so
01:04:55
much I'm so pleased we made this happen
01:04:57
and I think we kept it at about an hour
01:04:59
because that's what that's what um your
01:05:02
publer said yes bless bless I know I but
01:05:05
I know how busy you are so I'm thankful
01:05:06
for um an hour of your time oh my God
01:05:08
thank you so much

Podspun Insights

In this episode, Tom Sainsbury and Dom dive into the whimsical world of creativity, observation, and the art of mimicry. With a playful banter that feels like a cozy chat among friends, they explore Tom's journey from a shy, introverted kid to a master of character comedy. Tom shares the origins of his observational skills, influenced by his family's love for discussing eccentricities, and how his shyness shaped his comedic voice.

As they navigate through the nuances of social media fame, Tom reflects on the pressures of content creation and the joy of connecting with his audience. The conversation takes a heartfelt turn as they discuss Tom's experiences with parenting through sperm donation, revealing the emotional complexities and joys of his journey. With laughter and sincerity, they touch on the challenges of mental health, the importance of self-awareness, and the beauty of finding one's creative path.

Listeners are treated to a glimpse of Tom's creative process, his love for theater, and the camaraderie he shares with fellow comedians. The episode is a delightful mix of humor, introspection, and genuine connection, leaving audiences with a sense of warmth and inspiration.

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 90
    Most heartwarming
  • 85
    Most emotional
  • 85
    Best performance
  • 80
    Most satisfying

Episode Highlights

  • The Art of Mimicry
    Tom discusses how his family influenced his observational skills and mimicry.
    “I learned it through my family’s keen sense of observation.”
    @ 02m 37s
    November 20, 2024
  • Community Inspiration
    Tom shares how comments from his community inspire his next videos.
    “A quarter of the comments inspire the next video.”
    @ 06m 12s
    November 20, 2024
  • The Complexity of Farming
    Farming brings both joy and anxiety, as you can never fully relax.
    “You can’t fully relax on a farm; anything can happen at any time.”
    @ 21m 12s
    November 20, 2024
  • The Emotional Toll of Farming
    Witnessing the death of animals you care for can be heartbreaking.
    “It’s hard to see animals you love get killed.”
    @ 22m 50s
    November 20, 2024
  • Coming Out to Parents
    Coming out can be a long and complex journey, filled with anticipation.
    “This is the weekend they’re coming up; you have to tell them.”
    @ 26m 51s
    November 20, 2024
  • The Experience of Donating Sperm
    Navigating the process of sperm donation can be both humorous and challenging.
    “I went in seven times because there was going to be two children.”
    @ 31m 36s
    November 20, 2024
  • Tom's Relationship Insights
    Tom shares his thoughts on relationships, emphasizing the value of past experiences.
    “Everyone needs those bad experiences because they lead you to the right one.”
    @ 38m 50s
    November 20, 2024
  • Meeting Katy Perry
    Tom recounts a memorable encounter with Katy Perry at a VIP event in Vegas.
    “I was so badly sunburned and so hot and sweaty during the photo.”
    @ 42m 10s
    November 20, 2024
  • Buddhism and Personal Growth
    Tom discusses his journey into Buddhism and its impact on his life.
    “It took me two years to make any commitment, and I’m so glad I did.”
    @ 43m 39s
    November 20, 2024
  • Camping: A Sex Comedy
    A play called 'Camping' explores the tensions of two couples sharing an Airbnb.
    “It's like an adult-based comedy where we're all kind of stuck together.”
    @ 54m 16s
    November 20, 2024
  • Mental Health Awareness
    The conversation touches on managing mental health amidst a busy life.
    “I do get down, I do get really anxious, yeah I think that’s human though.”
    @ 59m 15s
    November 20, 2024
  • Future Aspirations
    The guest expresses a desire to focus on directing and storytelling.
    “If I can just engineer it so I can get a couple more directing jobs, that would be great too.”
    @ 01h 04m 05s
    November 20, 2024

Episode Quotes

Key Moments

  • Community Connection06:06
  • Farm Life Reflections20:44
  • Coming Out Journey26:24
  • Sperm Donation Process27:54
  • No Kids for Us36:24
  • Wedding Ceremony Thoughts36:58
  • Career Beginnings39:18
  • Katy Perry Encounter41:44

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

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Ric Salizzo Reflects on SportsCafe & Marc Ellis, Friendships with Jonah Lomu, John Kirwan and more!
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Aesha Scott on Below Deck Fame, Preventing Assault on Camera, ADHD Diagnosis & More!
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Fair Go's Haydn Jones is a bloody Good Sort! || Runners Only! Podcast with Dom Harvey
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Uncle Tics - Life with Tourettes, Social Media Fame, Meeting Mr. Beast... and more!