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hi team and welcome to episode 24 of
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Runners only with dom Harvey on today's
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episode Mike King part two if you're in
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trouble reach out and ask for help
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that's an oxymoron that's stupid why do
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we continue to put pressure on our most
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vulnerable to make the first move this
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episode probably needs to come with a
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bit of a trigger warning Mike and I go
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very deep on the mental health stuff
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including a real open and Frank
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discussion about his own suicide attempt
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if you find any of this stuff at all
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triggering text
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1737 and you can talk to someone
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anonymously Mike's a guy who's done the
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work when it comes to mental health not
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from textbooks but at a Grassroots level
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talking to other kiwis and I really hope
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you guys get some useful tips and tools
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from this that you can use to make your
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own life or the lives of your family and
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friends better just before we get into
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it thanks to the sponsors of this
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episode M's power cookies since I've
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discovered these they have become my
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go-to fuel for running I've got a Choco
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calendar of events coming up including
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this 60 kilometer Kepler challenge in
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December which I'm fizzing about and
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also the 2023 old ghost ultra marathon
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which is like 85ks and Ms power cookies
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are the fuel that's going to be getting
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me through they taste good unlike gels
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and they really pack a punch when it
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comes to calories so check them out you
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can buy them online at munchtime.co.nz
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or just look for them at your
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supermarket and if you can't find them
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just
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asked
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slow and steady anywhere you coming up
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just wanna connect for everyone who
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loves running this is
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[Music]
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Runners only with dom Harvey and Mike
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King Advocate Advocate how does that how
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does that non-runner [ __ ] you've done
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the workout you've done with them with
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your comedy you did the work and you got
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very good and and now I can tell you've
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like put the same energy and enthusiasm
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but I did what everyone else I didn't
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learn in books in the in the last 10
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years I've spoken in nearly 300 000 kids
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personally when they contact you it's a
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genuine contact I give my number out to
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corporates and I get wankers trying to
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sell me [ __ ] you know these kids are
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genuinely there and nine out of 10 times
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it's concerned for someone else yeah you
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know I've got a friend who's this and
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I've got a friend who's that uh or it's
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about themselves and they just need
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reassurance that you know one there is
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someone there and two that their
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thoughts are normal so I've been out
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I've done the Arts and everything I say
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is not my opinion this is what kids are
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telling me and so when I get people well
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that's your opinion no actually it's not
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my opinion this is passing on feedback
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this is what your kids are telling well
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I disagree well that's like same dude
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I've just told you I like Kentucky Fried
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Chicken oh it does say game
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you know Everyone likes Cape right you
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know what I mean yeah yeah yeah of
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course you can't disagree with this yeah
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you can't disagree with the fact
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because you manned them yeah so you came
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out and um said you suffered from
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depression in 2006. do you think um it
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had been there your whole life you're an
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angry dude for a while was it was was
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that just your way of like projecting
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the depression yeah yeah of course so
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when I got famous
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you know that was supposed to change my
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life I always thought Fame and Fortune
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was the ultimate goal being well best at
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whatever it is right and in my mind I
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you know I expected that moment was
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going to be big it was like these these
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two gates would open Golden Gates would
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open there'd be a ticket tape parade the
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king had a ride yeah and you know people
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will be throwing confetti and singing
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your name kills to be strong and these
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it was gonna be it was the ultimate
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right yeah it's like winning the lotto a
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billion to one shot and I [ __ ] got it
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I was the first and then these gates
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open and there was my big head gang
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you're still a [ __ ] loser you should
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be flipping burgers and for me when
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you're when your whole life had been set
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for this moment
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and it didn't pan out
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for me that's when my inner critic got
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really loud and it was constantly
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taunting me and that's when the drug and
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alcohol use
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took over yeah so you you loved your
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cocaine I love myself so I started a
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travel agency Dom when Coke was in short
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supply in New Zealand just so I could
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fly around the world when it ran out how
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crazy is that [ __ ] so I'm guessing like
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it started as um like like a fun thing
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so you do a show whatever have a have a
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bag of gear and then uh so the first
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time I tried Coke
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was in 96 right 1996.
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um I was at a giga Monaco
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um I was with another American comedian
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called Todd Hanford and we just finished
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this gig and a guy came over and he
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shook my hand and said that was amazing
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and he palmed me some gear right now
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lots of people have been pounding me
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yeah it was all usually always weed and
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so I got this thing and I went into the
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toilet and it was a block of Coke
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and I didn't know really what Coke was
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so I said to my American Community hey
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man what's this hey hey hey
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hey hey hey
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so he dropped down the toilet seat and
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he lined us up two lines and I smashed
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my line and then I immediately vomited
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like you know I just [ __ ] whoa what
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the [ __ ] is happening and I threw up and
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everything that I've become addicted to
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in my life alcohol I threw up cigarettes
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I threw up Coke I threw up right so I
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thought I'll never get addicted to this
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[ __ ] what a [ __ ] this is what this
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[ __ ] is I'm out soon as I walked out
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into the into back into the the bar
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every single conversation in this place
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was crystal clear to me I could hear
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different groups talking there was a
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group of University students who just
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lost a friend of theirs there was
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another group of people that were
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getting a marriage but I could hear
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every conversation these University
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students were were talking about some
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scientific thing and out of my ring
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binder of memories
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something popped up that was Associated
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so I was able to enjoy the conversation
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and these people were like holy [ __ ]
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you're a whole lot more intelligent but
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when I talk to the people it just lost
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some my empathy level was right there I
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could reach the level of every single
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one and it was like magic for a comedian
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to be that connected with people in the
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room that was like the ultimate some of
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you felt like it made you a better
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person immediately like huge of course
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it turns a lot of people into a deck
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like they're they're just like it does
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comment conversation Hogs and it does
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eventually and that's exactly what
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happened you know after years of use of
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course that's what happened so and then
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in
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1997 maybe eight months later
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um I end up going to London and spending
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six months on the SARS six or eight
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weeks on the scene up there and same
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thing I did a gig and a skeezy come up
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to me after his ear uh if you have any
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like you know the Rings The Whole Nine
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yeah
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he was a local drug dealer whatever you
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need whenever you need it you give me a
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call that was the funniest thing I've
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seen so for the next six weeks I was in
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Coke Heaven I didn't have to pay with it
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50 Quid yeah 50 Quid a gram you know so
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and it was a real deal not like the [ __ ]
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that they were selling back here and
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um so for me that was you know and then
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I ended up in Vegas and yeah yeah so we
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when did when did it stop being stopping
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fun and like start being a chore or it
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never stop being fun
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it never ever stop being fun yeah but um
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but okay
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I knew it was destroying me yeah I knew
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it was destroying me I knew you know the
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state of my career you know
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a bit like 660 you know I'd done all the
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town hall tours you can only do Town
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Halls you can only play at Eden Park a
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certain amount of times and then the
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rooms get smaller you know I the first
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Town Hall tour I ever did was in 2000
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with radar you know we sold out you know
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the St James Theater [ __ ] twice yeah
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not once twice
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you know we were playing every major
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town hall in the country man you know
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like I had that much money you know like
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on this tour I see my manager to come
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and pick up a [ __ ] briefcase of cash
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and take it out you know wow it was
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ridiculous it was a ridiculous time you
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know
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I'm 10 foot tall and bulletproof I start
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out with you know an hour of material I
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get home with three hours of material
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because so many things were happening
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and the coke was flowing so ideas were
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flowing and I was just living and
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breathing comedy 24 7. but the room
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started getting smaller and you know and
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the the the the cost of the coke was
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getting higher and higher and higher and
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I you know and I was you know when
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you're worrying about finances you end
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up being an [ __ ] you know and you're
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blaming everybody else and you know
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young ones are coming up and in the in
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the um
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the [ __ ] Newsboy thing started you
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know oh yeah yeah now that you bring it
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like most people wouldn't wouldn't
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remember that but um so there's a sketch
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on like eating media lunch or one of the
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one of the and this show wasn't [ __ ]
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rating at all right it was a nice sort
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of show not a mainstream show it was on
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a 10 30 at night and there was a uh a
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dog that was Mike King and who was
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snorting [ __ ] or smoking pee or
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something and of course I was
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but of course I went into denial son how
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[ __ ] dare you like you've crossed the
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line you see you left a voicemail
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message saying you know I left it on a
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mate's phone right I left you tell your
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[ __ ] up friend that he's [ __ ] with
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the wrong guy who the but for me right
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I'm old school I'm old school you don't
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knock on people you know you just
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[ __ ] know you do the lag you know so
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I but you know these new kids they don't
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give a [ __ ] so he passed it on to uh
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Jeremy Wells and Jeremy posted it up and
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at the like you know I was thinking it
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was a big deal at the time here's my
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[ __ ] phone number call me yeah you
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know and I'd put my phone number on
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there and he [ __ ] he didn't take the
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phone number off and he broadcasted it
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and that basically launched his career
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you know and you know if I'm being
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honest I'm still a little resentful of
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that really yeah yeah have you seen have
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you seen Jeremy I have I've learned from
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the experience and I've told you know
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it's probably the best thing that could
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have happened yeah yeah but I'm still
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old school you know what it's like
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you've been in radio yeah you know
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you've had people come up to you go ah
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don't [ __ ] don't like you you know
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you never [ __ ] like that's a lot I
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don't listen to your [ __ ] you know my
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response to that thank you yeah what
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I've just [ __ ] told you you're an
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[ __ ] thank you
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what do you mean I said I'm just
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thankful I gave you the opportunity to
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get that off your chest now you don't
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have to carry it around anymore I'm an
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[ __ ] guess what I think I'm an
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[ __ ] sometimes too yeah we talk about
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the the inner critic before it's like
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you think I'm an [ __ ] you could never
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forget
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myself that's right um the Jeremy Wells
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thing like that that angry message was
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was part of that you like your
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depression do you think no because I
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wasn't had nothing to do with it okay he
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told the world the truth
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I was a [ __ ] drug addict I thought I
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had it well hidden but I was a [ __ ]
00:12:37
drug addict and he outed me to the world
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he broke the code he knocked on me to
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the world he and and that's what like
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I'm still in the mongrel mob mentality
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you know you knock you [ __ ] die yeah
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that was my you know that was my so he
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told the truth and I was in denial you
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know and at the you know so at the time
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that's what hurt is he told the truth
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and I wasn't ready to face the truth and
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that's what made me angry and so I went
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straight into denial mode and I swing
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straight into Attack Mode which has
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always been you know how how I've
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operated you sort of fight your way out
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of things oh of course retaliate yeah
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let's find this Alleyway dude
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that was that's my mentality yeah and
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and the iron is you know he'd probably
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give me a [ __ ] good hiding
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I don't know had made some rules like
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just no face punches okay so um you see
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before like um you bought a travel
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agency yeah
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yeah Travel King oh really you're
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traveling in the right company well yeah
00:13:44
our logo was a Playboy bunny smoking a
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cigar right you know you know something
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just I'm I'm pinching my nose as we talk
00:13:52
about bringing back memories
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I'm just like hey yeah
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but that was just a time there was a
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time am I proud of that time in my life
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um no not really would I change it no it
00:14:06
gave me legitimate experiences you know
00:14:09
you can't you know other people would
00:14:12
read about the [ __ ] in the book and then
00:14:14
speak like experts you've got to live it
00:14:17
man yeah and I suppose all these all
00:14:19
these experiences brought you to where
00:14:20
you are in the manuscript
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um so so through this travel agency you
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ended up um
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we were you're in a hotel somewhere Hong
00:14:29
Kong or something yeah Hong Kong hotel
00:14:32
so what happened was I had it in 2007
00:14:35
yeah uh
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um I had a massive stroke I was over
00:14:41
Melbourne you're another Melbourne I was
00:14:43
playing in the Aussie Millions poker
00:14:45
tournament ten thousand five hundred
00:14:46
dollar entry fee I was taking a [ __ ] uh
00:14:50
I had a massive stroke and my mate Saved
00:14:52
My Life
00:14:54
um I had locked in syndrome so I was a
00:14:56
complete [ __ ] dribbler
00:14:58
um on the street how long not that long
00:15:00
maybe eight hours but it was a lifetime
00:15:02
terrifying yeah so
00:15:05
um
00:15:06
I have locked in syndrome I can hear
00:15:08
everything I can understand whatever I'm
00:15:10
saying I can converse in my head
00:15:13
but the only thing coming out of my
00:15:15
mouth was dribble Mars my face had
00:15:17
dropped the whole the whole nine yards
00:15:20
and so
00:15:21
um I have the stroke I go to the
00:15:23
hospital I hear the doctor saying you
00:15:25
know like Hey where's his wife my mate
00:15:28
said she's on her way good uh she said
00:15:31
he said she'll be here this afternoon he
00:15:32
goes too late you've got four hours to
00:15:34
get this thrombolising drug in him and
00:15:37
um and my mate said I'll give you a
00:15:38
permission he goes no because if we give
00:15:40
him he could die so either he gives us
00:15:43
permission or his wife gives us
00:15:44
permission so you could you couldn't
00:15:46
even give the thumbs up or anything oh
00:15:47
my head I'm going give me the [ __ ]
00:15:49
yeah give me the drug give me the drug
00:15:50
so um my mate grabbed my head and
00:15:53
started yelling with the Mad Butcher you
00:15:55
know like come on mate come on mate and
00:15:58
it reaches this and his breath stunk
00:16:00
I'll never forget that like you know he
00:16:03
hadn't brushed the seat he hadn't done
00:16:04
anything you know like and his brain
00:16:06
[ __ ] Richie your breath stinks
00:16:09
and he got me out it took me half an
00:16:12
hour to actually formulate words and the
00:16:15
first sentence out of my hair out of my
00:16:17
mouth was give me the drug and the guy
00:16:20
went give me the [ __ ] drug you know I
00:16:22
tried to get off off the table to show
00:16:23
him that I was no no say there you've
00:16:25
got the drug you've got the drug but we
00:16:27
need to do a CAT scan first they put me
00:16:29
in the machine and I had another stroke
00:16:31
in the machine now that was terrifying
00:16:33
it's like you're nearly drowning you're
00:16:35
about to be pulled into the boat and
00:16:36
someone goes nah and pushes you back
00:16:38
under the water what does the stroke
00:16:39
feel like uh it feels like for me it's
00:16:42
different for people some people have
00:16:43
pain but for me it was like you know
00:16:46
when you stand up too quick and then you
00:16:48
get that whoa
00:16:49
and you're in a permanent state of whoa
00:16:52
and you're waiting for it to clear and
00:16:54
it just doesn't yeah and you're just sit
00:16:56
in there and say you're living in this
00:16:57
kind of echoey world I can hear everyone
00:17:00
again and the nurse has been talking to
00:17:02
me and I'd been talking back to her and
00:17:04
then she pulled me out and said oh I
00:17:06
wondered where you've gone you'd had
00:17:08
another so you've had another stroke and
00:17:10
they took me into the other room and the
00:17:12
dog said well we can't give him the drug
00:17:13
and my mate looked at the doctor and
00:17:15
went he gave you [ __ ] permission I
00:17:18
was here he could go all right I'll
00:17:19
[ __ ] give him the drugs so he gave me
00:17:21
the drug and and I came out of it so it
00:17:23
gets as close to death as anyone would
00:17:25
want to get uh uh what was terrifying
00:17:27
wasn't the thought of death
00:17:30
what was terrifying when I was lying
00:17:32
there in the second stroke it was like
00:17:35
someone's gonna have to wipe my ass for
00:17:37
the rest of my life someone is going to
00:17:39
have to [ __ ] spoon feed me baby food
00:17:43
for the rest of my life so when I came
00:17:46
out of the stroke for the second time
00:17:50
I grabbed my mate's shirt I've pulled
00:17:53
him down and I said if I go back pillow
00:17:56
me and it was all a faith he would have
00:17:59
done I've done that before here's the
00:18:00
thing I got home six weeks you know six
00:18:03
weeks later I invite Richie and his wife
00:18:05
up and my mind's still a blur you know
00:18:09
and I pull them out to the garage and I
00:18:13
didn't know if I'd said it or not and I
00:18:15
said to Rich
00:18:17
in the garage having to be and I said
00:18:18
did I say anything to you when I was in
00:18:21
Melbourne again
00:18:22
no no
00:18:24
oh why because I just
00:18:27
yes
00:18:30
[Music]
00:18:33
whoa hello me
00:18:37
I did say it is yeah yeah and I go would
00:18:40
you yes well we'll never know will we I
00:18:43
was like you know I was like oh [ __ ] but
00:18:46
and then I spent the next two years in a
00:18:48
fog but I vowed to give up I vowed to
00:18:50
give up drugs you know and I was
00:18:53
committed two days out of hospital with
00:18:55
my with my poker mates you know coming
00:18:57
to the toilets before we've got a line
00:18:59
for you I've just had a [ __ ] stroke
00:19:01
me you know I'm not gonna have that and
00:19:03
I was determine uh then I got home and I
00:19:06
had a block of Coke in the house I
00:19:08
called Titanic it was [ __ ] nice beer
00:19:13
it was [ __ ] and it was pure and
00:19:17
um I could hear it calling me as I'm you
00:19:19
know driving home I'm not supposed to
00:19:20
drive home yeah uh drive down the
00:19:23
driveway and I started chopping up and
00:19:26
um it's remarkable you think like like a
00:19:28
near-death experience like that that'd
00:19:30
be enough to ski you straight no that's
00:19:32
what that's to hold it had on me so I
00:19:35
get uh so so then I was at one Titanic
00:19:38
ran out I was able to give up I was able
00:19:41
to give up how many grams was Titanic
00:19:45
would have been uh close to an ounce
00:19:48
right how many grams are in an ounce uh
00:19:51
excuse me
00:19:52
too [ __ ] so this is so like 10 grand
00:19:57
worth yeah easy I can you know and not
00:20:00
chopped either so it was like you know
00:20:02
they started chopping it all up when we
00:20:04
got baked Titanic
00:20:07
look yeah so um so anyway
00:20:10
um
00:20:11
I gave up for three weeks and then I had
00:20:14
a tour to the Hong Kong seven so I'd
00:20:16
given up drinking cigarettes and um and
00:20:19
thing and I was on the straight and
00:20:21
narrow and my voice of reason oh yeah
00:20:23
Mikey we've got this we've got this and
00:20:26
the inner critic was yelling but nah the
00:20:28
voice of reason and so I get over to
00:20:30
what's the name there's lots of alcohol
00:20:32
you know I I'm on a travel King tour so
00:20:36
we've got a whole lot of expectant
00:20:37
people I get everyone sorted out a
00:20:40
system and I refuse to go to the game I
00:20:42
can't go to the game because I'll start
00:20:44
so I'm in wanchai which is the you know
00:20:47
the the big party place
00:20:50
um and I'm in one chai and I'm just
00:20:52
aimlessly wandering around and a Maori
00:20:55
Boy comes walking down the street
00:20:56
father hey Mikey what are you doing and
00:21:00
I'm like oh man I'm just wandering
00:21:01
around got a team here you don't get on
00:21:03
the shipment now I'm bored with footy he
00:21:06
goes let's go have a beer batter and I'm
00:21:08
like man I just gave up and he said
00:21:10
these words I'll never forget it
00:21:13
you've given up a New Zealand Vibe
00:21:16
and uh
00:21:18
[ __ ] you're right straight in I'll have
00:21:21
a Heineken here at a Heineken first got
00:21:24
to walk past could I have one of those
00:21:25
[ __ ] cigarette puffing away puffing
00:21:28
away and then I'm straight into my deal
00:21:29
I go hey how are you how do you how do
00:21:33
you have a dealer did you just have a
00:21:34
dealer in every country right right and
00:21:37
Hong Kong sounds like a dangerous place
00:21:39
to be doing Class A gear no it's very
00:21:41
safe yeah you know it's in terms of the
00:21:44
penalty if you get caught or yeah you
00:21:47
know the people you buy off are
00:21:48
basically buying the police officer
00:21:50
right okay you know so I get him and I
00:21:53
get half an ounce of coke because I've
00:21:55
been waiting for your call what's been
00:21:56
happening just just [ __ ] drop me the
00:21:59
gear would you and then I went back to
00:22:01
my hotel and then I started snorting and
00:22:03
then I got really [ __ ] angry with
00:22:06
myself
00:22:09
and you know and I just started snorting
00:22:12
and then I you know I just wanted to die
00:22:14
and I didn't want to hang myself or OD
00:22:18
on anything else because that would
00:22:20
affect my family but in my head it made
00:22:22
sense that my king Rock and roller went
00:22:25
out oding on on coke yeah it's like a
00:22:28
revolution way to go out isn't it so I
00:22:30
just
00:22:31
ordered everything that I could and
00:22:33
passed out on the floor
00:22:35
and so in a way it was a like it was it
00:22:38
was kind of a suicide that was a suicide
00:22:40
now I wanted to die right that was my
00:22:42
plan I was just gonna die you know I've
00:22:44
just snort enough Coke to kill me you
00:22:48
know and you know half an ounce is a
00:22:49
pretty good job you know you you
00:22:52
more than enough to die yeah
00:22:54
um and I passed out and when I was
00:22:56
passed out my then eight-year-old
00:22:58
daughter magically appeared sitting on
00:23:01
my chest going what are you doing Dad
00:23:02
why are you doing this we need you at
00:23:04
home you shouldn't be doing this it was
00:23:05
like she was [ __ ] right there
00:23:07
and I woke up
00:23:11
and I went what the [ __ ] I flushed what
00:23:15
I had left of the cocaine down the
00:23:16
toilet
00:23:17
uh rang in New Zealand booked a flight
00:23:20
back home and got off the plane I fell
00:23:23
out of the plane on April 1st
00:23:26
2007 and haven't picked up since wow
00:23:30
yeah just so I gave up drugs alcohol and
00:23:33
cigarettes on the same day and just gone
00:23:35
through 15 years your life's been
00:23:37
miserable ever since
00:23:39
people used to say to me in those years
00:23:41
come back and they go you know uh you
00:23:45
look great you look great on the outside
00:23:46
I feel like [ __ ] on the inside when I
00:23:49
was with the Coco like [ __ ] [ __ ] on
00:23:50
the outside but I felt [ __ ] great on
00:23:53
the inside but it's been a journey it's
00:23:55
been really really really hard you know
00:23:58
I suppose now you know I I'm a guy
00:24:03
that protects myself
00:24:05
so when I was doing comedy everyone is
00:24:07
you treat your wife like a fish wife no
00:24:10
I'm protecting myself you know
00:24:14
um if I sleep with one woman I've got to
00:24:16
sleep with a thousand so I made it very
00:24:19
clear in my comedy that I was married
00:24:21
because I didn't want to fall into that
00:24:24
trap right so when I what do you mean in
00:24:26
terms of your addictive personality yeah
00:24:28
yeah yeah yeah yeah so it was a
00:24:30
protection so I'd be sitting in in bars
00:24:33
with a woman as people come up and go
00:24:34
that's not your wife who's this it's
00:24:37
actually my sister-in-law here's my wife
00:24:38
Coming oh sorry Mike I did you know so
00:24:41
it was designed to keep me safe
00:24:44
uh and so then coming out about my drug
00:24:48
addiction was the next logical step it
00:24:51
was always designed to keep me safe yeah
00:24:54
I had no plan it was just like if you're
00:24:57
gonna do this this is what we're going
00:24:58
to do and then I had a whole lot of
00:25:01
people watching for me if I went to the
00:25:03
toilet people would magically appear
00:25:04
just so you're coming in for a job fight
00:25:07
hey
00:25:11
you know so have you been offered it
00:25:13
since oh heaps yeah and and come on bro
00:25:17
it's just that's me just us
00:25:25
it never goes right I always thought Dom
00:25:28
that I could go back
00:25:30
and uh have a beer you know and Last
00:25:34
Christmas I discovered Heineken zero
00:25:38
I knocked off that first box in about 20
00:25:41
minutes
00:25:42
seriously and then the next day was
00:25:45
another box and the next day was another
00:25:47
box yeah yeah you know my wife
00:25:50
Heineken zero like it tastes the same as
00:25:52
normal Heineken but you're not getting
00:25:54
any any back out of it yes
00:25:56
reminder like the first time I drank the
00:25:59
box I got so drunk my wife said you know
00:26:01
you're getting louder no I'm not no I'm
00:26:03
not I've got a [ __ ] faux drunk you
00:26:06
know because I hadn't and it was uh you
00:26:08
know in the end after a few days my wife
00:26:11
said you can't do this you know like
00:26:12
look at you you're just [ __ ] go nuts
00:26:15
on this [ __ ] so we had a rule
00:26:18
for every hour of yard work that I did
00:26:21
um I was allowed a beer so that's when I
00:26:23
started gardening 24 hours ago
00:26:28
laughs
00:26:31
it's two in the morning
00:26:36
now so I've just you know I've just you
00:26:39
know I've given it up again but it was a
00:26:42
happy reminder like you know the thing
00:26:44
that I miss the most out of everything
00:26:45
cigarettes say sorry I love soups like I
00:26:49
love the smell of cigarettes well if you
00:26:51
hate the smell is no [ __ ] you I love it
00:26:54
you know like people get in my car you
00:26:56
don't smell your [ __ ] light up blow
00:26:58
that [ __ ] on me I love that [ __ ] you
00:27:01
know
00:27:02
okay so yeah I've got an addictive
00:27:05
personality yeah and it was um was it
00:27:07
hard going off all that stuff and
00:27:08
particularly the alcohol and and the
00:27:10
Coke and the weed and then here just
00:27:11
having to like um I know I suppose you
00:27:14
feel particularly vulnerable at that
00:27:15
point like there's no you're not taking
00:27:17
anything to mask your emotions and I'm
00:27:20
not going like my mate said go to AAA go
00:27:23
to n a go to all these but what you want
00:27:25
me to give [ __ ] addicted to a god of
00:27:27
my choice that's not for me you know
00:27:32
I'm from the school of whatever works
00:27:34
but I'm I'm pig-headed and then one day
00:27:37
I discovered something like I'm an
00:27:39
addict on so why don't you use my
00:27:42
addictive personality for good so I got
00:27:44
addicted to being clean and sober yeah I
00:27:46
addicted so I counted I counted days how
00:27:49
are you Mike 833 dude I'm [ __ ]
00:27:52
awesome well I've been 833 so I would
00:27:55
just count days count days count days
00:27:57
for 10 years I counted days I was gonna
00:28:00
ask if you still do it now you must be
00:28:01
like five whatever thousand I have no
00:28:04
clue where I'm at no I just don't I just
00:28:06
don't bother but that's what I needed to
00:28:09
do to get me through I got addicted to
00:28:12
use my addictive personality for good so
00:28:15
um yeah so it was around this time like
00:28:17
200789 whatever that you you came out
00:28:20
publicly and said you suffered
00:28:21
Depression was um was that a bit cool
00:28:23
why did you decide to do that
00:28:26
um again you know like well it happened
00:28:28
accidentally really uh so I'm
00:28:31
I'm at home I'm depressed I'm not going
00:28:34
anywhere Willie Jackson's worrying about
00:28:36
me right he's on radio yeah he's on
00:28:38
radio live and he's worrying about me
00:28:40
you need to go right away [ __ ] you I
00:28:41
don't need to go back to work I'm fine
00:28:43
you need to get [ __ ] you you get out of
00:28:45
the house I'm not getting out of the
00:28:46
house and he goes um so he goes um
00:28:49
Martin crumbs going off for a week I
00:28:52
want to get you that job you're going to
00:28:54
come in and do I want to do the [ __ ]
00:28:56
radio you know you need to get out we're
00:28:58
good mate so I went into radio live and
00:29:01
I had 176 746 75 radio live I'm my king
00:29:06
you know I started reading out the
00:29:08
headlines oh you know today
00:29:11
if you've got a dad I'm just racing on
00:29:14
that point two percent if you're going
00:29:15
to struggle with the interest rate give
00:29:16
us a call but everyone had done these
00:29:18
topics all day right yeah and then they
00:29:20
come back and I look at the board no
00:29:21
calls hey
00:29:23
this piece of paper plan down the street
00:29:25
if you have people around you give us a
00:29:26
call
00:29:28
radio live
00:29:31
another brakes and uh 20 past 10. 20
00:29:35
past 25 past 10 at night yeah yeah
00:29:39
producer goes uh we only have right no
00:29:41
more breaks and then my inner critics
00:29:45
started you know just started swearing
00:29:46
just start swearing starts throwing
00:29:48
people will go don't you just tell the
00:29:50
truth tell the truth tell me there's no
00:29:51
one there so I had this big [ __ ] war
00:29:53
going on in my head and it was dead out
00:29:55
dead air for 30 seconds and I'm just
00:29:57
closing my eyes and then I went [ __ ] it
00:30:00
just tell the truth and I just told her
00:30:02
I said Hey Ron
00:30:04
uh there are no calls there have been no
00:30:07
calls I've been lying to you for the
00:30:09
last 20 minutes uh and if no one calls
00:30:11
in the next five seconds I'm going to
00:30:13
start talking to the voices in my head
00:30:15
then I close my eyes and I started
00:30:17
talking you know the reason no one's
00:30:18
calling is because no one likes you oh
00:30:20
people like you they're probably eating
00:30:22
dinner eating dinner it's 25 a night no
00:30:24
one eats dinner at 25 cent and no he's
00:30:26
just a loser you know why do you always
00:30:28
call Michael why do you always call him
00:30:29
Michael on this stream of unconscious
00:30:31
thought came out of my mouth and then my
00:30:33
producer went you better take the course
00:30:35
and I had a full board and the first
00:30:37
fellow I talked to was a fella multiple
00:30:39
called rangi I knew his Maori because
00:30:42
his name was ringy
00:30:44
the first thing the first thing he said
00:30:46
to me was bow bow I have those voices
00:30:51
too and as soon as he said that I just
00:30:54
felt a connection so me and rangi we had
00:30:58
a conversation all eight of us and we
00:31:00
were just
00:31:01
talking and then the next
00:31:04
four and then I had a 12 year old girl
00:31:07
calling and she was like this is she was
00:31:10
crying she goes this is never like I've
00:31:13
been having mental health issues and
00:31:14
what you're describing is exactly what
00:31:16
it is and Caitlyn was your name and by
00:31:19
the Cadence whole family after the
00:31:20
studio the next night and they all came
00:31:22
up you know all of these people who were
00:31:25
just connected yeah you know and they
00:31:27
must have felt so good yeah well then
00:31:29
the next day I went and we have full
00:31:30
border so the next day I go in and I say
00:31:33
we can talk about all this [ __ ] or we
00:31:34
can talk about what we're talking about
00:31:36
lastly full Board of calls full Board of
00:31:38
course and then by the end of the week
00:31:41
we were The Nutters Club you know hey
00:31:42
this is another club it's still going
00:31:44
you're not involved with it anymore but
00:31:46
it's still going to this day yeah
00:31:47
be with Hamish and um and Kyle
00:31:51
um I just like I couldn't do it anymore
00:31:54
physically I couldn't do it eleven to
00:31:57
one I'm in the schools on Monday morning
00:32:00
and I'm up at five so I get to bed at
00:32:03
three I've got two hours sleep Monday's
00:32:06
easy on year three Tuesdays killed me it
00:32:09
was like the morning after the morning
00:32:11
after the night before yeah
00:32:13
and in the end I just had to make a call
00:32:15
yeah
00:32:16
and my focus wasn't on everyone's mental
00:32:19
well-being by that stage it was on kids
00:32:21
and so
00:32:23
I spent the next five years researching
00:32:26
and listening when I first started I was
00:32:29
like everyone I wanted to go in and I
00:32:32
thought I had all the answers and I was
00:32:34
going to do this and I was going to do
00:32:35
that and I was going to do this and then
00:32:37
after speaking in the first few schools
00:32:39
I realized I didn't know what the
00:32:40
problem was yeah so I lost board members
00:32:42
because they were like we need to
00:32:43
reproduce my Kings we need to get my
00:32:45
Kings out there and I'm like just
00:32:48
slow down I don't know what the problem
00:32:50
is you know once we discover what the
00:32:53
problem is then we can set about our
00:32:55
task in Earnest and it took me five or
00:32:57
six years to understand that the biggest
00:32:59
problem we've got is imposter syndrome
00:33:01
and overactive and accredit and now it's
00:33:04
so obvious yet we've got all of these
00:33:07
agencies that that won't even listen
00:33:09
they don't even believe it no that's not
00:33:12
the biggest problem is depression it's
00:33:13
anxiety no these are the outcomes of an
00:33:17
overactive inner critic you [ __ ]
00:33:19
[ __ ] you know if
00:33:23
you know we're always focusing on
00:33:25
Behavior we're never asked what drives
00:33:28
the behavior you know Eating Disorders
00:33:29
are the biggest problem facing young
00:33:31
people today yet when you go to the
00:33:33
eating disorder clinic they make it
00:33:35
about the food my daughter's got an
00:33:37
eating disorder and we go to the eating
00:33:39
disorder clinic and you know right we're
00:33:41
all going to have a shared lunch today
00:33:43
so your lovely daughter can see what
00:33:45
it's like to eat you know and and every
00:33:49
time she says something that's not her
00:33:51
speaking that's Anna that's Anna
00:33:55
speaking I'm like what the [ __ ] oh
00:33:56
anorexia right and then one day my
00:33:59
daughter said after four sessions she
00:34:01
goes you know my problem's not food eh
00:34:03
food's not my problem the problem if it
00:34:07
wasn't food it'd be alcohol it would be
00:34:09
drugs it would be boys it would be the
00:34:12
gym I want to know why my brain is
00:34:16
making it about the food and that was
00:34:18
the last session we had the right but we
00:34:21
focus on Behavior like we do it with
00:34:23
everything drug dealers you know drugs
00:34:25
throw all the dealers in jail let's ask
00:34:28
a serious question why are there so many
00:34:30
people today that need to be on drugs
00:34:33
what are the drugs doing and then 90 of
00:34:36
the cases brother it's shutting their
00:34:38
[ __ ] self-doubt up yeah you know it's
00:34:40
always alcohol you know same thing it
00:34:43
gives you a break from temporary release
00:34:45
yeah you're escaping it's the relentless
00:34:48
shoot of temporary happiness you know in
00:34:51
the irony is people said to me like my
00:34:53
friends you know what's it like being an
00:34:55
addict you tell me I'm not an addict
00:34:56
dude you go to the gym seven days a week
00:34:59
you miss a day you turn into an [ __ ]
00:35:01
you know uh you know oh bro what's it
00:35:05
like hiding things from Mrs you tell me
00:35:06
I don't know how it thinks dude you play
00:35:08
golf three times a week you Misses
00:35:10
thinks you play once a fortnight you're
00:35:12
[ __ ] lying you know so the the the
00:35:15
thing that most men are addicted to more
00:35:17
than anything else is work you know I
00:35:20
fire money at the problem I've got
00:35:22
troubles at home I've got [ __ ]
00:35:23
troubles with self-esteem and to cover
00:35:25
it all up I [ __ ] throw money at it
00:35:27
yeah so when was I am Hope born when did
00:35:30
that come about
00:35:31
um that was just an accident really I
00:35:33
was working with some suicidal kids and
00:35:35
I was talking to them saying how can we
00:35:37
never talk
00:35:38
because we don't know who's safe
00:35:40
what does that mean we don't know who's
00:35:42
going to judge me I don't know who's
00:35:43
going to gossip around me I don't know
00:35:45
you know like I don't know who's safe
00:35:46
you know I don't want to be ridiculed I
00:35:49
don't want to be appointed that I said
00:35:52
so you know we need to do something
00:35:53
about that why don't we come up with
00:35:55
something that signals I am safe and
00:35:58
they came up with a wristband that says
00:36:00
I am hope if you're you know if you're
00:36:03
wearing The Wristband what you're saying
00:36:05
to people is I won't judge you I won't
00:36:07
[ __ ] gossip about you uh I'll be
00:36:10
there for you most importantly I won't
00:36:11
try and fix you I'm not qualified to fix
00:36:13
you I won't take on your problem I'm not
00:36:15
qualified but I'm here to listen and if
00:36:17
you need help I'll go with you yeah but
00:36:19
if you need to offload [ __ ] I will sit
00:36:22
here and listen I will call time on the
00:36:24
conversation if I need to yeah but but
00:36:27
I'm feeling you you know and I have
00:36:29
experiences that you know similar to
00:36:32
yours so um I am Hope was was born and
00:36:35
you know and it just took off I couldn't
00:36:38
believe like in a big way yeah I just
00:36:40
had no idea that it was going to take
00:36:42
off and you know it's around the kids
00:36:45
and so people so when we were doing our
00:36:48
I am hope talks
00:36:50
um the biggest thing that happened so
00:36:51
we're talking about our experiences and
00:36:53
we would encourage counseling uh why
00:36:56
because my counselor saved my life
00:36:59
and I was saying to the kids look
00:37:02
ignore what the counselor looks like
00:37:04
it's someone that's not from your circle
00:37:06
it's someone that doesn't have your
00:37:08
background go to this independent person
00:37:11
I've shared my experience so we made
00:37:13
counseling cool problem was some schools
00:37:17
didn't have councils and in some schools
00:37:19
the the counselor there was related to
00:37:23
mum in some way or as a teacher and they
00:37:25
didn't feel like they could talk so
00:37:27
they'd contact me and I'd say just go
00:37:30
and see someone private I'll find
00:37:31
someone private and I will pay for it by
00:37:34
2018
00:37:36
those private sessions which we we
00:37:39
didn't advertise we're running at about
00:37:40
ten thousand dollars a month so we're
00:37:43
paying about ten thousand dollars a
00:37:45
month for private sessions yeah and then
00:37:47
someone came up with a Gumboot Friday
00:37:49
idea you know having depressions like
00:37:51
walking through mud most people are
00:37:53
hiding it why don't we all put on gum
00:37:55
boots so people who have depression can
00:37:56
see people in gum boots and know that
00:37:58
these are people that care and we can
00:38:00
raise money for them and I said they can
00:38:03
we can raise money for your charity and
00:38:06
straight away I went
00:38:08
why don't we raise money for free
00:38:10
counseling but unlike other charities
00:38:13
why don't we donate 100 of the funds to
00:38:17
counseling so I set up a bank account
00:38:19
with kiwibank and the other way I can
00:38:21
come out was with an invoice from
00:38:24
um from a counselor and we will cover
00:38:27
the um the admin I'm already paying a
00:38:29
hundred and twenty thousand dollars a
00:38:31
year in free counseling that should be
00:38:33
more than enough to to cover the yearly
00:38:37
rate of what's the name sir of the admin
00:38:40
so that's that's what we do you know
00:38:42
unfortunately now there's you know it's
00:38:45
it runs at about 10 percent the admin so
00:38:47
you know we've only got enough to cover
00:38:49
1.2 but I just worked my ass off going
00:38:52
around to corporates and going around to
00:38:54
well-meaning people and asking them to
00:38:56
help me with the admin and and the admin
00:38:59
none of it comes to us we Outsource the
00:39:01
admin we Outsource this to and 100 of
00:39:04
that money goes to them we don't clip
00:39:06
the ticket yeah you know it's you know
00:39:08
it's for me my big thing with people who
00:39:11
are collecting money for charity is
00:39:13
always much of my ten dollars is going
00:39:15
to you yeah yeah yeah very thirsty
00:39:17
Charities and I always ask the kids so
00:39:19
do you you know do you get you
00:39:21
volunteering for this oh no we get
00:39:22
minimum wage so you're being paid to do
00:39:25
this so some of this money is going to
00:39:27
you no offense but I'm not I'm you know
00:39:30
yeah and I got my own charity you know
00:39:32
so I just wanted to do something that
00:39:35
you know our kids could you know use and
00:39:37
why counseling this way because in order
00:39:40
for a kid to get free counseling in this
00:39:42
country through the Ministry of Health
00:39:44
you have to go to the doctor the doctor
00:39:46
has to diagnose you mentally ill that
00:39:49
stigma follows you because it's on your
00:39:50
records for the rest of your life then
00:39:52
you oh yeah it makes it hard to get
00:39:54
insurance and all sorts of things oh and
00:39:56
yeah and then next thing you you know
00:39:58
you're also on a long waiting list and
00:40:00
then yeah you know uh by the end of
00:40:03
getting in to see someone you know
00:40:05
they're often burnt out and they don't
00:40:06
have time so this way here is you know
00:40:10
this way here is getting early so the
00:40:13
government see the Ministry of Health
00:40:16
counseling as a crisis situation
00:40:20
we see it as a preventative situation so
00:40:23
you go and see a counselor when you're
00:40:24
in crisis too late when you're in
00:40:26
[ __ ] crisis yeah yeah and now you
00:40:29
need the hospital our whole thing is if
00:40:32
you see a counselor about a little
00:40:33
problem that doesn't come to be a big
00:40:35
problem and they just help unscramble
00:40:37
thoughts they don't fix you they help
00:40:39
you unscramble your thoughts they
00:40:41
Empower you to fix you give you a
00:40:42
different way of looking at things so
00:40:44
young people don't want to see
00:40:45
counselors because they're mentally ill
00:40:47
they go and see counselors to stay well
00:40:49
I had a um a government a Minister's um
00:40:54
a Minister's aide you know his the guy
00:40:57
that gives them all his ideas ring me up
00:41:00
and say
00:41:01
um
00:41:02
you can be Friday will never be funded
00:41:04
why not because anyone can use it what
00:41:06
do you mean you don't even have to be
00:41:08
mentally ill to use it okay you're a
00:41:11
[ __ ] idiot what do you mean so you're
00:41:14
saying that someone has to be mentally
00:41:16
ill to see a [ __ ] counselor that's
00:41:18
like saying to someone why are you going
00:41:20
to a doctor you haven't had a heart
00:41:21
attack yeah why are you at the hospital
00:41:23
why are you at the gym you haven't had a
00:41:25
heart attack I said kids don't want to
00:41:28
see it comes because they're mentally
00:41:29
ill they go to stay well you [ __ ]
00:41:31
yeah
00:41:33
it's such a broken sister so what they
00:41:36
do is they fund bricks and mortar right
00:41:38
it's like they set up a taxi company
00:41:40
you've got to have an office she would
00:41:42
have the admin you've got to have
00:41:43
lawyers you've got to have contractors
00:41:45
then you've got to buy the taxis and the
00:41:48
drivers of the councilors but in order
00:41:49
to see the council you've got to go to
00:41:51
the taxi Rank and you don't get a choice
00:41:53
of what driver you want you've got to
00:41:54
take the first cab off the rank and this
00:41:56
is under their access and choice so with
00:41:59
that it's between 350 and 2000 dollars
00:42:02
right and this is under access and
00:42:04
choice where there's limited access and
00:42:06
there's no choice and our system or what
00:42:10
have we done we invented Uber
00:42:12
that's all we did yeah that's you carry
00:42:15
the costs in the car you carry the cost
00:42:17
of the account you just charge us what
00:42:19
you charge us up front with all of those
00:42:22
things built in and the average cost is
00:42:24
147 man you've got so much passion and
00:42:28
so much energy for this I can I can
00:42:30
almost see the rage do you um
00:42:33
that I mean how do you how do you keep
00:42:35
your own mental health in check because
00:42:37
it's like you might I worry about you
00:42:39
and I worry about jazz Thornton a little
00:42:40
bit from uh Voices of Hope because it's
00:42:42
like you take a lot on you're taking a
00:42:44
lot of other people's problems and that
00:42:46
no I don't
00:42:47
know what people share their problems
00:42:50
whether that's got to bring you no it
00:42:52
doesn't you know you want to know why
00:42:55
my job is not to take on other people's
00:42:57
problems my job is not to I'm I pathway
00:43:00
people so our current system deals with
00:43:03
individuals
00:43:05
I'm looking at the big picture
00:43:08
so our focus is this positive societal
00:43:13
attitudinal change remember this eighty
00:43:17
percent of people in crisis never ask
00:43:21
for help because they're worried about
00:43:22
what Society thinks
00:43:24
says or does so until we change
00:43:29
society's attitude you can have the best
00:43:32
mental health system in the world you
00:43:34
can throw a billion dollars a day at it
00:43:36
but if people aren't buying into it
00:43:39
you're wasting your [ __ ] time so
00:43:42
attitudes have to change so I will
00:43:45
listen to your problem I don't take it
00:43:48
personally I will listen to your the the
00:43:50
the tale of your son being refused to
00:43:54
help it at a hospital and then going
00:43:57
back an hour late uh and being
00:43:59
trespassed off the premises to him dying
00:44:02
seven hours later I will listen to that
00:44:05
I will I will be enraged by that and I
00:44:09
use that as my motivation going forward
00:44:12
okay so it's always about see jazz is a
00:44:16
bit different she you know she's
00:44:19
she takes everything I don't take
00:44:21
everything on my my is that a maturity
00:44:24
thing do you think well so I've just
00:44:26
looked at where I can be most effective
00:44:29
yeah you know and like I can save
00:44:32
individuals and I don't buy into that
00:44:34
argument if we save one life it's all
00:44:36
worth it you know so you know so
00:44:41
yes yeah so wound up talking about it I
00:44:44
can tell yeah I'm passionate yeah yeah
00:44:47
at the
00:44:49
so we have dhbs referring
00:44:52
people to Gumboot Friday we cope with
00:44:55
their overload and people say to me
00:45:00
say something tell them they can't do it
00:45:03
like why it's not about them it's about
00:45:06
the [ __ ] kids you know my you know my
00:45:10
saying is they are all our children yeah
00:45:12
when you have been to every decile of
00:45:15
school in the country you will know that
00:45:18
in the elite private schools of this
00:45:20
country they have equally as many kids
00:45:23
who are [ __ ] struggling with mental
00:45:25
health issues and in some cases more
00:45:28
than poorer areas you know I don't care
00:45:32
if you're a redneck piece of [ __ ] that
00:45:35
hates moldy and hates me I love your
00:45:37
child and I will I will crawl over
00:45:41
broken glass to get your child the care
00:45:45
that they need and you've got to have
00:45:47
that you've got to have that attitude
00:45:49
that everyone is equal in men's or
00:45:53
health God you've done some good work eh
00:45:55
you just just you sleep well at night
00:45:57
these days I never sleep bro yeah I you
00:46:00
just have a good night's sleep you
00:46:02
should be I wake up every two hours my
00:46:04
windows 62 Dom Windows 62 does not stop
00:46:09
it does not stop it is always always
00:46:13
working there are always things that I
00:46:16
have to write down there are always
00:46:18
things that you know look
00:46:21
I've got 10 years left if I'm lucky oh
00:46:24
come on how how can you say that well
00:46:26
I've I've had yeah I've had a major
00:46:28
stroke I've got one one artery work into
00:46:30
my brain at the moment I've had two two
00:46:33
heart um not surgeries but heart [ __ ]
00:46:36
things I pass them no no no no um yeah
00:46:39
no they have you know when you're awake
00:46:41
they put [ __ ] through your heart so I've
00:46:44
had two of them you've got no vices now
00:46:45
you're a healthy dog that doesn't matter
00:46:47
you know I smoke for most of my life
00:46:49
I've put huge mountains of coke up my
00:46:53
nose and I smoked weed from 13 years old
00:46:56
right up till I was 45 every day you
00:47:00
know I was a when I left smoking I was a
00:47:02
40 smoker a day so I'm a realist you
00:47:05
know if the big man came out of the sky
00:47:08
today and said I'll give you 15 years or
00:47:10
take you I'll take the 15.
00:47:12
[Applause]
00:47:16
you now 16. so I'm 60. I've got 10 years
00:47:19
left I'm gonna make them count yeah you
00:47:22
know I I I [ __ ] around enough
00:47:25
I you know I I made you know I spent
00:47:29
most of my life making everything about
00:47:31
me
00:47:33
I you know I look at this younger
00:47:35
generation and they they they need a
00:47:38
soldier
00:47:40
you know they need someone out front
00:47:42
kicking down doors and warding off all
00:47:45
of the people who tell you why you can't
00:47:48
do that they need someone out there
00:47:50
advocating for them and I'm going to be
00:47:52
out front
00:47:54
um so they can go on and change the
00:47:57
world I seriously believe yeah that they
00:47:59
can change the world they just need
00:48:01
someone to take the bullets from all the
00:48:03
old [ __ ] out there that are trying to
00:48:05
stop them and that's my job I know what
00:48:08
my purpose is I you know I know it's a
00:48:11
you know it's a it's a huge sacrifice
00:48:13
for my family you know in terms of the
00:48:16
time and effort and energy you I'm
00:48:18
always out there fighting Wars yeah you
00:48:21
know I'm I'm trying to spend more time
00:48:24
with my wife you know she deserves the
00:48:26
time uh I have unique ways of dealing
00:48:29
with that I said babe we need to spend
00:48:30
more time together and she went really I
00:48:33
said yes that's exactly what we need to
00:48:36
do
00:48:37
um I took up golf again at the beginning
00:48:39
of the year so I went and bought her a
00:48:40
set of golf clubs and we go out to the
00:48:43
driving range she's learning of getting
00:48:45
her lessons and we're going to go out
00:48:47
and play golf whenever we can cool you
00:48:49
know and I just want to you know I want
00:48:52
to give her some quality time
00:48:55
but she knows
00:48:57
that were on a bus
00:49:00
that's going really [ __ ] fast and I'm
00:49:03
not getting off the bus so get on the
00:49:05
bus and come with me for the ride and
00:49:07
you know and and be with me as much as
00:49:09
you can and we'll just see where that
00:49:11
takes us like what a what a positive bus
00:49:13
as well
00:49:14
is this what you're doing now is this
00:49:16
your legacy you reckon
00:49:18
well your legacy is what other people
00:49:20
decide yes
00:49:22
um when you die what do you what would
00:49:24
you like what would you like to think
00:49:26
people say about you
00:49:27
oh I don't care
00:49:32
you know like I always say this to
00:49:35
teachers you know
00:49:39
you never you will never know the effect
00:49:41
that you have on kids you will never
00:49:44
know how many lives you change you know
00:49:47
but your family your funeral
00:49:50
when they see everybody that turns up
00:49:53
when the when the dad's standing there
00:49:55
with his five kids and he's saying this
00:49:58
lady saved my life if this lady wasn't
00:50:01
here this great person wasn't here none
00:50:05
of us would be here we owe everything to
00:50:07
that person so you know and there'll
00:50:11
always be people that turn up to your
00:50:13
funeral yeah I just turn up just to make
00:50:15
sure you're dead right you know and
00:50:18
that's right but that's life yeah that's
00:50:20
life I don't know I think 20 years ago
00:50:21
you would have had a bunch of those
00:50:22
people but I feel like that that crowd
00:50:24
has diminished now oh I don't know it
00:50:26
doesn't it doesn't matter my soul you
00:50:29
know
00:50:30
legacy's magazine is there an absolutely
00:50:34
just because you brought up Legacy I
00:50:37
remember I went and saw
00:50:40
um
00:50:41
Willie Jackson I want to [ __ ] I want
00:50:43
to say it right and I was talking to him
00:50:45
about you know Gumboot Friday and why
00:50:48
aren't we getting funding and you know
00:50:49
here's all of our initiative why aren't
00:50:52
you I see you out there fighting for
00:50:54
tomahidi I see you out there fighting
00:50:56
for everyone you know sure like I'm I'm
00:50:59
I'm I'm not exclusively Maori families
00:51:02
but if we lift up everyone's families
00:51:04
then the the Maori families will come up
00:51:07
too currently we're focusing on Maori
00:51:09
families and those numbers are [ __ ]
00:51:10
going down so it's not working but if we
00:51:13
lift everyone up if the the care comes
00:51:15
up for white people naturally it comes
00:51:17
up so let's you know and I'm saying
00:51:19
there and he's like oh bro you know
00:51:22
and I was like you know how I feel
00:51:25
Willie and I just said this right I said
00:51:27
I [ __ ] just feel like giving back that
00:51:29
[ __ ] medal that you guys gave me and
00:51:32
he he went there goes United and he
00:51:35
laughed and said there goes United and
00:51:37
that [ __ ] enraged me and I'll just
00:51:40
say do you think I'm here for a [ __ ]
00:51:44
Knighthood power is that what you
00:51:46
actually think I'm not here for [ __ ]
00:51:49
knighthoods and and that was the day I
00:51:51
went home and I said to my wife I'm
00:51:53
giving that [ __ ] thing so this was
00:51:54
the officer of the order of marriage
00:51:57
thing yeah yeah yeah
00:51:58
surely I mean I'm the stepping stone to
00:52:01
a nighthood I know you're not doing any
00:52:03
of this for the accolades but the um the
00:52:05
New Zealander of the Year thing in 2019
00:52:06
that must have meant a lot yeah that was
00:52:08
huge yeah yeah that's massive because
00:52:11
it's a people's award yeah people
00:52:13
nominate you you know the the proudest
00:52:16
uh award that you know I ever got and in
00:52:20
comedy was People's Choice of Metro
00:52:22
magazine three times you know you know I
00:52:26
don't give a [ __ ] what anyone else and
00:52:28
like you know it's funny funny how like
00:52:31
the side of you has never changed like
00:52:32
earlier we were talking about um how you
00:52:34
sat on Andrew Shaw who was the TV
00:52:36
executive and people were like oh you
00:52:37
never get on TV and you're like I don't
00:52:39
give a [ __ ] yeah you still get on TV who
00:52:40
knows you might even though you don't
00:52:42
care about it you might still get that
00:52:43
Knighthood even though no no
00:52:45
that's burnt now okay yeah you can't you
00:52:48
can't give like you know the queen had
00:52:50
to say yes like I you know I had to get
00:52:52
a letter from the [ __ ] Queen right
00:52:54
you know and
00:52:56
um you know uh so yeah no no that's a
00:53:00
participant right
00:53:02
kids who cares man you know they they're
00:53:06
handing [ __ ] things out lollies I
00:53:08
gave her on Briley one what yeah you
00:53:11
know I don't know it's it's just getting
00:53:13
you know a lot of people deserve them
00:53:15
you know yeah yeah you do
00:53:18
but yeah but you've done a tremendous
00:53:20
yeah I know but that's not the
00:53:22
motivation no I know so but there are so
00:53:25
many people in the game now that are in
00:53:27
it for a [ __ ] Knighthood you know
00:53:29
people are jumping in all they're giving
00:53:31
away Knighthood so like oh yeah I just
00:53:33
look people first man people first you
00:53:37
know I I love sitting at mangere Bridge
00:53:40
and you know every day people coming up
00:53:42
to me and hugging me and telling them
00:53:43
about their kids man that's that's the
00:53:45
reward right there man that's the reward
00:53:48
right there you know my team I wrote a
00:53:50
book called Tia and Mac the hopeful
00:53:52
black dog so it's about a black dog
00:53:56
um and
00:53:57
the book was about bullying and you know
00:54:00
our current our current uh plan to deal
00:54:03
with bullying is let's bully the bully
00:54:06
right you know yeah whereas I now know
00:54:09
because I travel around schools a
00:54:10
bullish bully because they're being
00:54:12
bullied and you know they've got their
00:54:14
own [ __ ] going on so let's be kind let's
00:54:16
say I wrote this book and my team go
00:54:19
into primary schools and they read this
00:54:21
book to give kids a better understanding
00:54:23
of what's going on in the bully's head
00:54:24
but also helping bullies to understand
00:54:28
that what you're doing is not love
00:54:30
that's not love you know they think love
00:54:33
is you know is bullying
00:54:36
um and and
00:54:38
giving people a bit around and a little
00:54:40
girl went up to my Ambassador who read
00:54:43
the story and she can I talk to you and
00:54:46
she said yeah what's up darling she goes
00:54:48
did the man who wrote This Book know it
00:54:50
was going to help so many of us and
00:54:53
that's right there man that's better
00:54:56
than any [ __ ] Knighthood and my
00:54:59
eight-year-old daughter when I when she
00:55:00
found out I couldn't get you know I was
00:55:03
never going to be a sir she goes dad
00:55:06
kings are higher than Sears anyway
00:55:09
I like it I like it you will you ever do
00:55:13
I mean he stand up again do you think
00:55:16
um I feel like like you're still [ __ ]
00:55:17
funny like before when you were talking
00:55:18
about your big giant head and you you
00:55:21
wipe pubes I mean I've you can do
00:55:24
different stick to what you used to do
00:55:26
I don't trust myself no seriously I've
00:55:30
done it twice
00:55:32
since I retired only twice uh one once
00:55:36
at Quentin pongi is uh after match
00:55:39
and once at the Mad Butcher now Quentin
00:55:42
Pony is after match
00:55:45
like
00:55:46
I smashed
00:55:47
yeah there he is
00:55:50
welcome back and I was like I I had to
00:55:54
leave yeah and the same after Mad
00:55:57
Butcher roast I had to actually leave I
00:55:59
realized how dangerous that it was in
00:56:02
terms of ego yeah and like it's
00:56:04
addictive man if you can like if you can
00:56:07
make a room full of [ __ ] people like
00:56:11
spit their drink you know that's a rush
00:56:14
it's it's yeah it's I can't do it I just
00:56:18
can't I don't trust myself it'll be like
00:56:22
I can just have one drink I can just
00:56:24
tell one joke I can incorporate my
00:56:27
comedy and my talks which I do and
00:56:31
that's enough yeah it's it's comedy with
00:56:34
a difference
00:56:35
and um if people want to understand
00:56:38
vulnerability more and I watched this
00:56:42
one my wife went on and on about we've
00:56:44
got to watch this thing you've got to
00:56:45
watch brene Brown yeah yeah yeah and and
00:56:48
and like everything that brand a says
00:56:51
I've been practicing since 2007. yeah
00:56:54
and it was one of those lovely feelings
00:56:56
where I had finally had boxes to put
00:56:58
things in the other the other only other
00:57:00
moment where I've had that was when I
00:57:03
read Malcolm gladwell's The Tipping oh
00:57:05
yeah I love that box yeah I was like you
00:57:08
know I'm a maven I'm a Salesman and I'm
00:57:10
a connector you know but I had boxes you
00:57:13
know when you just do things because
00:57:15
they feel right and then suddenly the
00:57:16
boxes it's the first book I'd ever got
00:57:18
to the end of started reading again I
00:57:20
just you know so Renee Brown on Netflix
00:57:23
just it is it is a wonderful read you
00:57:26
know and the story I'm telling myself is
00:57:30
such a great way of you know talking to
00:57:34
Partners you know when when your
00:57:37
partner's not saying something here and
00:57:39
I know there's friction and you know
00:57:41
like you're getting angry because why
00:57:43
aren't you [ __ ] talking to me
00:57:45
hey babe
00:57:47
I don't know what's happening
00:57:49
I know there's something but the story
00:57:51
I'm telling myself is I did this this
00:57:55
this and this and you've it no that's
00:57:58
not what I'm thinking at all
00:58:00
um thing is
00:58:01
it's just a nice air clearer you know
00:58:04
the story I'm telling myself my inner
00:58:07
critic is telling me
00:58:09
yeah yeah I must admit I've been a late
00:58:12
entrant to the vulnerability club like
00:58:14
it's only a few years ago for me but I
00:58:16
think part of this because I went to um
00:58:18
probably a similar generation you're a
00:58:19
little bit younger than you but I went
00:58:21
to normal boys school in palmy north and
00:58:22
any Pammy boys yeah so any best [ __ ]
00:58:27
hacker
00:58:29
pardon me oh did they gave you one yeah
00:58:31
New Plymouth boys Hive like I've got a I
00:58:36
filmed them all man I I have got a
00:58:38
folder full of Hackers from around just
00:58:41
about every school I've got one of the
00:58:43
special ones I got I forgot New
00:58:44
Zealander of the year was The Crusaders
00:58:47
gave me their hacker on their field it
00:58:49
means more than a night oh that was just
00:58:51
yes yeah it's fine chilling so no but uh
00:58:55
you know we're all changing but
00:58:56
vulnerability is the new economy you
00:58:59
know and that doesn't mean we go and
00:59:00
[ __ ] just throw our dirty laundry out
00:59:02
of everything you know it's just being
00:59:05
more honest yeah when people saying you
00:59:08
know how are you today dominance did I
00:59:09
say I'm good because it's a natural
00:59:11
thing to say you know
00:59:13
um what I say now is how you go my inner
00:59:16
critics smashing me bro you know and
00:59:18
then suddenly it's not a conversation
00:59:20
anymore it's gossip oh [ __ ] what
00:59:22
happened
00:59:24
oh I walked past on this morning and the
00:59:26
[ __ ] [ __ ] just ignored me you know
00:59:28
I must be done but you know what [ __ ]
00:59:30
Norms like and and often times when you
00:59:32
do that the other person can provide
00:59:34
context oh well you know Dom had to take
00:59:37
his dog to the [ __ ] vet today
00:59:40
[ __ ] really so now it's not about me oh
00:59:43
[ __ ] thanks bro I'm gonna go and check
00:59:44
in on Dom I didn't know about the dog
00:59:46
you know and that's that's what being
00:59:48
honest is about it's looking for ways
00:59:51
that you can be vulnerable without you
00:59:54
know without crossing the line of
00:59:57
burdening people with your
01:00:01
I think that's what I should write a
01:00:02
book on actually I used to have a
01:00:04
conversation without burdening people
01:00:05
yeah that'd be a good read yeah
01:00:11
I won't do it all right I am geez we've
01:00:14
been sitting here for over two hours and
01:00:16
we keep going what what a rich life
01:00:19
yeah oh yeah it's been colorful I've
01:00:21
played rugby with the All Blacks yeah
01:00:23
last you know I like until last year
01:00:25
when I had my last game of rugby at 59
01:00:27
the last game rugby before that I was I
01:00:29
played with the All Blacks I was on the
01:00:31
tour on the Coca-Cola Convoy with him in
01:00:34
1995 uh they ran out of reserves I ran
01:00:37
onto the wing did they pass me the ball
01:00:39
no did I touch the ball no but get
01:00:41
[ __ ] I know that there are other all
01:00:43
blacks are the same thing
01:00:45
yeah I played with the black caps I
01:00:48
[ __ ] toured hip-hop artists uh you
01:00:50
know I've been around the world I've
01:00:52
been on the same stage with Dave
01:00:54
Chappelle you know I just I've had a
01:00:57
really really blessed life and sometimes
01:01:00
when I'm down on myself I have to remind
01:01:02
myself and you know I've got six uh five
01:01:04
six beautiful kids you know it's like
01:01:08
life's most days Life's good nowadays
01:01:11
it's [ __ ] well you rip what you say so
01:01:13
you definitely deserve more good days
01:01:15
than bad days thank you my brother yeah
01:01:16
thanks bro I really appreciate your time
01:01:18
you're a great New Zealander thank you
01:01:20
who's our sponsors
01:01:22
oh I don't know who's sponsoring this
01:01:24
episode oh really
01:01:26
well whoever you are you're amazing and
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Your sponsorship
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01:01:38
want to thank was my friends at M's
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Instagram M's power cookies or you can
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munchtime.co.nz hey thank you very much
01:01:50
for joining me for this episode of
01:01:51
Runners only with dom Harvey hope to see
01:01:53
you next week