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g'day team Dom Harvey here welcome to
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episode 15 of my podcast Runners only
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with dom Harvey today on the podcast
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Olympic Legend and fairly average
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Ballroom dancer Eric Murray I think a
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lot of it comes down to like what I do
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with Autism New Zealand yeah because it
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like they're my charity right so so I
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think there's like there's a percentage
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of your votes and the 20 cents that you
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[ __ ] text or whatever goes to Autism
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New Zealand so if I can get 50 000
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people and at 20 cents each to vote for
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Me Maybe that's 10 grand for them yeah
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Eric is currently on Dancing With the
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Stars which is on TV three on Sunday and
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Monday nights in New Zealand and he
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begged me to ask you guys to text the
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word Eric to 3333 for a 99 cent text
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vote the money goes to a charity which
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is very close to his heart Autism New
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Zealand you'll find out why on the
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podcast but yeah if you've got to spend
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dollar to spend feel free to pick up
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your phone text Eric to 3333 he's a
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great New Zealander by the way we had a
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fantastic conversation about a month ago
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he came around to my house with a bottle
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of Rose and a six pack of beer which we
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drunk completely while we did the
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podcast it couldn't have been nicer and
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something happened afterwards which has
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never happened to me in my entire radio
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career at the end of our discussion
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which went for two and a bit hours he
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flipped me a message and saying hey we
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should catch up some other time without
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the microphones I really enjoyed it so I
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feel like we really connected on a
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deeper level and I'm so excited that you
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guys now get to hear this conversation
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before we get into it massive thanks
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needs to go to the sponsors of this
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episode Ms power cookies and Ms Power
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power cookies and M's Power Bars who
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have powered this episode of Runners
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only with dom Harvey all right let's go
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[Music]
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I'm Harley fast-paced slow and steady
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anywhere you coming just wanna connect
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for everyone who loves running this is
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[Music]
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[Music]
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Runners only with dom Harvey sitting in
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my dining room table with um one of the
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greatest New Zealand Sports people ever
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Eric Murray
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Eva [ __ ] I know I it does baffle me that
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we won the Buddy uh hellberg of the
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decade but yeah like we did a bit of
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stuff oh bro
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um so two gold Med two Olympic gold
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medals that's probably the big thing six
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World Championships 69 races over like
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how many years that you were unbeaten
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eight years it's phenomenal yeah it does
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blow my mind because I don't think it'll
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get beaten
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um and I'm not like I hate I don't like
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sounding arrogant but like there is
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nobody that's got anywhere near that win
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streak on and then even in any sport I
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think there's been a squash player like
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this Indian guy I think he won in the
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80s or 90s won a few hundred games in a
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row but apart from that in a lot of
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different sports there is nothing in
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this level and that's it's like every
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single race doesn't matter if it's a
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preliminary round a semi-final we just
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won it yeah you guys
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were you guys were there good there's so
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much stuff um that we've got to talk
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about today rowing and a whole lot of
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other stuff
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um first of all uh I don't know if you
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want this on the podcast or not but the
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um the messages that we were sending
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each other a couple of days ago you want
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to talk about that
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um
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which ones were they oh we'll come and
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light it up yeah well you said I'll come
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around with a big fat joint and we'll
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light it up I hope that we could do
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whatever we want oh mate there is um
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there is nothing I would love more to to
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um Blaze with you know there's people
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that you want to you want you wouldn't
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mind having a smoke with oh it's Snoop
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Dogg for example if you had the
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opportunity you you're I mean you're one
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of the greatest sports people ever but
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um this is my new new hustle I'm trying
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to get sponsors on board
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um I feel like if I if I smoke weed with
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you now
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um I might rule out I was just thinking
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I could be a um this could be Joe Rogan
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and Elon Musk not that I'm anywhere near
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that level but you know yeah yeah it's
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uh it's always a bit of fun but hey
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we'll have the beers and we'll have a
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good time yeah cheers for that cheers
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um do you do you smoke much uh
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occasionally I've been kissing you I'm
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guessing you here to be super
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disciplined for years it's an
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interesting one I guess it's you know
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like when you if you've got a few
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friends or whatever and on occasions and
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social social settings yeah absolutely
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um you know I'm really disappointed we
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didn't pass the uh the vote I think it
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was just done wrong just the right wrong
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wrong the wrong information and
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questions were given out to people and
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even still a 5149 in my books is not you
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know what I mean it's so close to 50 50.
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it's ridiculous so
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um yeah yeah that's that's been it but
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hey like yeah as I say like in in terms
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of the sporting time there was Zero
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Tolerance on anything oh because you you
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guys were you guys were so good you had
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you had like drug testers coming to your
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oh they'd come in like we Hamish and I I
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think we were one of the the most tested
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people in New Zealand and I'm sure
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you're not because of the day they're
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like all these guys winning so much
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literally and to a point where
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I had a knock on because the drug test
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is for anyone out there listening they
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can come between 5 a.m and 11 pm
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10 30. I'm in bed who's at the door dogs
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are going nuts oh drug testers sitting
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there drinking drinking drinking up all
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night bits and pissing pissing five at 5
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15.
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another one and I'm like you have got to
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be kidding me you know but they're
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trying to catch people out that are that
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are cheating
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um and yeah we quite often you'd drive
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home from the supermarket there's a car
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outside your house and they're waiting
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in the front door and around they're not
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testing for weed though right no yeah
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but it's all yeah uh yes in competition
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and our competitions any Regatta that we
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did
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um in the internal racing we did at
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karapiro it was all in so as an athlete
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you just basically like look I'm not
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even recreationally going to do anything
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obviously you're not going to jump on
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the roids um and so it was just all
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about maintaining your clean image
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because
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at the end of the day anyone that tests
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for a drug whether they're ingested it
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on their own accord or accidentally we
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were just so like it's a it's a career
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ending right yes and it's career ending
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so yeah we were so Vigilant about it
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even to the point of they have a strike
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system so if you're not where you're
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meant to be because you've filled out
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all these forms blah blah Hamish got a
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strike one time and you know about it
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man all these people that go oh I didn't
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blah blah he got rung by CEO of sport
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New Zealand CEO of uh drug free sport
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Rob Adele the chief the mission CEO of
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New Zealand everybody rang him and goes
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we've just been notified about this you
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know do you have you been filling out
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your thing did you realize did you this
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because it's big right you get if you
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get to that second strike one more your
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two-year ban for avoidance is basically
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the the thing so yeah wow crazy okay so
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now the the podcast is called Runners
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only so we need to um address that first
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you you do it I'm a runner what's some
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no you were all right before you were
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wrong you were a triathlete so you must
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have been a decent runner at some point
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yeah yeah so I guess
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um as a kid before I grew outwards
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um I was growing upwards and I was lean
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and lanky uh and I would win
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cross-country long distance Athletics
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went to you know you do the zone you won
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your school and you go to Zone sports
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and I was winning that sort of stuff but
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um yeah and then went into triathlons
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and uh probably when I was about 13 or
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14 I just instead of growing up further
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which I was already pretty tall I just
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grew out and got bigger and then it just
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became too hard to run like to a point
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in that when you're going through
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puberty and and you're growing uh I was
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just slow my feet were killing me I we
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were going to podiatrist we were looking
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at everything and I sort of just made I
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think I just made the call I was like
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I'm just too big like your aunt my
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ankles were killing me I had Achilles
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problems I had calf problems it was just
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because I was too big you know I was as
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a as a 14 15 year old I was like 90
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kilograms you know like big big guy and
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of course body just couldn't handle it
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so didn't really do a lot of running
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until we sort of did a little bit around
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rowing and then probably when I hit sort
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of 20 21
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um I could found I could really run
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again and it was one of the big things
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that we did for cross-training for
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rowing in our early days was a lot of
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running yeah and like dick tanks used to
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stop us from getting another person on a
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Saturday night and he'd make us like
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turn up to this place in in Cambridge
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it's called mangakawa Hill real steep
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[ __ ] with all these switchbacks and
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it'd be like 7 30 Sunday so if you win
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and hit it hard on Saturday night you
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had to be there on Sunday morning now it
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was like just if you weren't there you
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knew about it you weren't rowing next
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week in his program it's unbelievable
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you had to be there yeah so yeah I got
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pretty quick at doing a lot of that and
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I was fast
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um I was one of the fastest in our team
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uh on my feet there's like there's a few
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girls that were really quick because
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they're lightweights so they're 55 60
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kilograms but out of the guys I was
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definitely number one number one number
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two like right up there you run it all
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now or no yeah I do but on I got a
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treadmill at home yeah um but oh that's
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so boring oh yeah but the problem is I
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find
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um just time and like uh I do I do I
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have run a bit outside
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um but it's just time constraining like
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the circle get up and then you get them
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on the bus and I'm like right I've got
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45 minutes to do something so a lot of
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times I'm just like I'm on the gym on
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the rower or something and I'll mix it
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up with the treadmill so there's either
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treadmill ski bike or row where I mix
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the whole lot up
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um so it's been just quite easy to be
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able to do that
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um but I do enjoy running for the simple
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fact that when you when the legs get
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into it
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it can shed some kegs like soup oh yeah
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it's great if weight loss is your goal I
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reckon that's the probably the best way
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to do it oh yeah it's just like the
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calories you burn just off the chain the
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heart rate's just through the roof yeah
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and you're like all right holy [ __ ] and
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you're puffing and panting um and but
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it's good it's easy and I've always
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I've always thought the thing about
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running and you know it's
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globally it is the number one sport
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right because there's no limitations you
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can run whether you've got a pair of
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shoes or not you know I've always seen
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people are like you know we always have
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the discussions around
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uh like halberg times and oh who's going
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to win and all this sort of crap and I'm
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like look if we had a runner that ran
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any distance and one in a world
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championship medal or an Olympic medal
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they'll want it hands down yeah because
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there's no limitations Rowan you've got
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to have a boat cycling you've got
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everybody you know you've got to have a
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bike you know and so you go canoeing
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you've got to do all this and so you
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just go through the list what can anyone
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do like obviously if you're not born
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with a disability you can run anyone
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that you are you know when they can walk
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and run yeah you can run and so that's
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the biggest thing is like globally
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running as a sport is massive and I like
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I love watching I won't sit there and
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watch the whole Marathon or anything
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like that but I do quite like you know
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you'll see it and you'll be oh Boston
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marathon's on all the the uh the
00:11:30
Berlin's on or something and so you'll
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you see it on sky and it normally fits
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in the time zone and you go actually
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it's not bad and then you'll see the
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last half an hour and you'll watch it
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and you'll be like this is great yeah
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it's two hours is a bit hard but half an
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hour come on I know the guy that's the
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goat um Ellie kept joking who's um in
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the form of his life he's exciting to
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watch I reckon he just dominates every
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racist and he's he's like to Marathon
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running what you guys were yeah and I've
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I remember watching we were over in
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Europe at the time
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and we watched it I can't remember where
00:12:03
the hell we were and we watched it and I
00:12:04
all I remember was a stat and they were
00:12:06
talking because you know what it's like
00:12:07
they talk about records and they talk
00:12:09
about the time they go oh today I reckon
00:12:10
they're going to do a two hour seven
00:12:12
because it's a bit hot you know and all
00:12:13
this sort of stuff and they were talking
00:12:15
saying that you'll probably know this
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facts because you're the you're the
00:12:18
expert that the world record and the
00:12:19
marathon's Never Been won in like
00:12:21
temperatures above like 12 degrees right
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right just because you're using so much
00:12:25
energy yeah but when it's cold and
00:12:27
you'll you can just run run run run and
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it's like there's amazing stats like
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that was running that just yeah and just
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the speed that those guys are running
00:12:36
out 21ks oh yes like sub three minute
00:12:39
kilometer pace which I couldn't even do
00:12:40
for one and they're doing that for a
00:12:42
couple of hours it's ludicrous yeah it's
00:12:44
insane insane so um oh man I I don't
00:12:48
know where to where to begin we might
00:12:49
just have to jump all over the place
00:12:50
with this because you're You're such um
00:12:53
an interesting guy and there's so much
00:12:54
more to you than just the yeah the
00:12:55
rowing in the middles
00:12:57
um now you talked before about um dick
00:12:59
tanks your coach
00:13:00
um making you do a 7 30 run on a Sunday
00:13:02
morning to make sure he didn't get on
00:13:03
the pass how um did you drink much when
00:13:05
you were because I get the feeling um
00:13:09
he must have been annoyed with you
00:13:11
because
00:13:12
um I don't know I feel like you you work
00:13:14
at you work very hard but you play hard
00:13:16
as well I think we I don't I've never
00:13:18
actually asked them the question and
00:13:21
seeing as well and the good thing is now
00:13:22
he's retired and whatever I'd love to
00:13:24
ask him the question about what if he
00:13:26
really knew what went on in 2007 okay so
00:13:28
what's 2007. so 2007 was probably the
00:13:31
most enjoyable year I ever had in rowing
00:13:33
so we're in the four
00:13:35
uh you know we were we were faffing
00:13:37
about we had a pretty [ __ ] year the year
00:13:39
before and and so we were just I was
00:13:41
like right I just want to have a bit of
00:13:42
fun we had a good crew we won like the
00:13:43
world we won the World Cup in Amsterdam
00:13:45
and then we went on and we got like
00:13:47
third and Lucerne and we're like oh this
00:13:48
we're on fire we're actually you know
00:13:50
we're looking good to win a medal at the
00:13:52
world world Champs
00:13:55
turned up to Germany we were training at
00:13:57
this place in lingeries in Middle
00:13:58
Germany oh beer festivals
00:14:01
and so literally we were welcomed into
00:14:04
the town beer festivals on huge tent
00:14:06
because they they rotated in all these
00:14:08
little towns in in sort of Bavaria uh
00:14:11
when you have your beer festival it's a
00:14:12
huge Marquee massive you know probably
00:14:14
1500 people 2000 people and of course we
00:14:17
were welcomed in to the obligatory
00:14:19
hacker and all this [ __ ] Town loved us
00:14:21
and so you're sitting there having a
00:14:22
beer stein right get to about a quarter
00:14:24
to go burn another one on the table and
00:14:26
I'm like right oh here we go and of
00:14:29
course this went for two weeks man and
00:14:31
this is this is about four weeks out
00:14:33
from World Champs so I was just lighting
00:14:38
it up every night and we had to cut it
00:14:40
on we had to cut it on the head a couple
00:14:42
times because like but of course we were
00:14:43
like me and one of the guys near crew
00:14:45
James we were like well as long as it's
00:14:47
not affecting training then we can
00:14:49
probably keep doing what we're doing and
00:14:50
it didn't like training was still going
00:14:51
pretty well
00:14:52
um we were still going pretty fast and
00:14:54
so we just sort of kept having a bit of
00:14:57
fun we didn't go every night but we
00:14:58
still went quite a bit
00:15:01
um and I just don't know we went on to
00:15:03
win the World Champs so it didn't affect
00:15:05
us it affect us but yeah and and
00:15:09
probably from there I think going
00:15:11
forward uh when we did our big training
00:15:13
blocks in Europe
00:15:15
um Hamish and I had separate rooms and
00:15:17
so when we generally trained in
00:15:18
Switzerland you know we'd always just
00:15:20
how it works we always had sort of
00:15:21
Sunday off so Saturday would do like a
00:15:24
big row would go for a massive bike ride
00:15:26
like three hours [ __ ] up in the hills
00:15:27
bonded it set the thing and I'd just try
00:15:29
and keep up with them and then shop shut
00:15:31
it like sort of two o'clock so as long
00:15:34
as we got back straight down there buy a
00:15:36
dozen Chuck it in the fridge and a few
00:15:38
of the boys would come in and have a
00:15:39
couple of beers yeah they'd have maybe
00:15:41
one or two so there's definitely at
00:15:43
least half a dozen or more for me to
00:15:44
have boom on that night but then you can
00:15:46
rest up you're also you're a big guy so
00:15:49
if you have six beers you're not going
00:15:50
to be steamed or anything I'm not going
00:15:51
to be steamed but when you're fit as a
00:15:53
fiddle six beers go to you right oh do
00:15:55
they and when you've done 20 odd K's on
00:15:57
the water in probably 120 K's on the
00:15:59
bike
00:16:03
so I used to do a bit of that but it was
00:16:06
it was just a way for me to just relax
00:16:08
chill out and it's no different than
00:16:10
what you're doing here and probably one
00:16:12
of the biggest things going into 2016.
00:16:15
the men's eight at the time they had a
00:16:19
great year the year before you know on
00:16:21
we had a few sort of like the towns have
00:16:23
a little bit of shindig you know they
00:16:24
might have a market day and then
00:16:25
something goes on like a band at a
00:16:26
festival so we'd go to these things and
00:16:28
just join in have a couple beers go home
00:16:31
maybe a couple more than two years for
00:16:32
whatever and so they were having a great
00:16:34
time but then of course you get one or
00:16:36
two of the crew that doesn't like it and
00:16:38
then they'll be like no no we're gonna
00:16:39
knock it on the head so none of them did
00:16:41
any socializing drinking or anything in
00:16:43
the year but in 2016 and you could just
00:16:45
see it man they're like the the tension
00:16:49
and the crews like just do what you
00:16:51
normally do what do you normally do when
00:16:52
you're living at home do you go out and
00:16:54
have a few beers do you do this you
00:16:55
nobody in most sports nobody's gonna go
00:16:58
and get shit-faced because you know that
00:17:00
a fixed recovery yeah and Recovery is
00:17:02
the key element for you to get better
00:17:04
and so none of them were lighting it up
00:17:06
all the tension and so I just kept doing
00:17:08
what I'd normally do if you were going
00:17:10
out to friends places or you're going
00:17:11
out to the couple beers and I thought I
00:17:13
thought you was the character you
00:17:14
probably needed that you need that sort
00:17:16
of um to lay off a little bit of steam
00:17:18
or have that social aspect
00:17:19
um because if it was just work hard and
00:17:21
no play
00:17:23
um I don't think you would have lasted
00:17:24
the sport as long oh no no way no way
00:17:26
and like we Hamish used to light it up a
00:17:28
little bit we'd have um we'd have uh
00:17:30
Lucerne would have the last World Cup
00:17:32
and then there's always like six weeks
00:17:33
till the world Champs and so that's
00:17:36
generally would have that and then we'd
00:17:37
probably have three or four days off
00:17:38
depending on the coach and we'd sort of
00:17:40
change locations and it's sort of your
00:17:42
break refresh because the next six weeks
00:17:45
you are just focused Focus focused all
00:17:47
the way through so we used to have some
00:17:49
great times in Lucerne and and just like
00:17:51
have a good party good bit of a blowout
00:17:53
I wouldn't say like a massive blowout
00:17:55
but had some good times
00:17:57
um and it led all the way through so
00:17:58
yeah that was that was the difference
00:18:00
between us and
00:18:02
I think the fact that it was never
00:18:03
brought up
00:18:05
probably means that he either accepted
00:18:07
it or wasn't phased by it if you can see
00:18:10
like you [ __ ] drinking too much
00:18:11
Beer's point you know like would you
00:18:13
like I'd normally get to January and
00:18:15
he'd say you're about 103 kilograms I
00:18:16
know you lose a couple of kigs I would
00:18:18
say that Hamish on a year was it was he
00:18:20
still like the boss
00:18:21
no but he was just the one making sure
00:18:24
that we were ticking the boxes right you
00:18:27
know because if if I'm if I'm carrying
00:18:28
103 and I'd normally race about say 98.
00:18:31
but if I'm
00:18:33
it's another five kilograms we've got to
00:18:34
train with you know like Chuck a 5kg
00:18:37
weight on your back when you're running
00:18:38
you know what I mean yeah yeah big
00:18:40
difference it's a lot of weight yeah
00:18:41
absolutely and so for us he's like well
00:18:43
instead of you being a like what if you
00:18:45
were 100 now
00:18:47
and then 98 when we raised would it not
00:18:49
make training faster now you know so
00:18:52
there were sometimes those questions
00:18:53
were brought up but our speeds were
00:18:55
never bad like we were still
00:18:56
percentage-wise good and and you know
00:18:59
whatever so it wasn't affecting us but I
00:19:01
could sort of sense he it was always
00:19:02
thinking maybe he does so yeah that was
00:19:05
always just the conversations that were
00:19:07
brought up yeah
00:19:08
um God you must have made so many um
00:19:11
sacrifices to be as as good as what you
00:19:13
guys were for as long as you were like
00:19:15
I'm thinking um secret okay I'll stop
00:19:17
you right now okay the next time the
00:19:20
next time I hear a [ __ ] athlete say
00:19:22
they sacrifice [ __ ] I'm almost my mind
00:19:25
eh because oh it's it's such a but it's
00:19:28
such a [ __ ] it's such a negative
00:19:29
connotation right if you want to do
00:19:32
something that you love
00:19:33
this opportunity cost right yeah
00:19:35
absolutely 100 the word needs to be
00:19:37
changed to go man there's so many
00:19:39
opportunity costs to do what I do
00:19:41
because that's what it is it's not a
00:19:42
sacrifice it's not [ __ ] sacrifice
00:19:44
what are you sacrificing nine-to-five
00:19:46
job [ __ ] that's a massive sacrifice if
00:19:48
you if you're spending your time in
00:19:50
Europe while it's winter in New Zealand
00:19:51
is that a sacrifice no [ __ ] way
00:19:53
do you know what I mean it's it's like
00:19:55
you see you're looking at the positives
00:19:56
well there must be things that you you
00:19:58
missed like yeah kids birthday Were You
00:20:00
There When your sons started walking or
00:20:02
but is there to sacrifice or an
00:20:04
opportunity cost for doing what you're
00:20:05
doing that's a that's a very big
00:20:06
opportunity cost though well it is yeah
00:20:08
but but that's the whole thing is it is
00:20:10
is people look at it in such a Negative
00:20:12
terminology and every time you go oh I
00:20:14
said goodbye it's so negative and it
00:20:17
sort of brings you down and you start
00:20:19
thinking well if I wasn't doing this I
00:20:21
could have my kids birthday or whatever
00:20:22
but it's like well it's an opportunity
00:20:24
cost it's not going to be there all the
00:20:25
time like if it if it was there
00:20:27
constantly like it was never going to be
00:20:30
that way again that's a sacrifice yeah
00:20:32
you know but if it's not it's just an
00:20:34
opportunity cost yeah that's a good way
00:20:36
to look at it there's um there's a guy
00:20:37
called Jay shitty who does a podcast and
00:20:38
he he he said um uh instead of saying
00:20:41
saying um have to you say get to so
00:20:44
instead of you saying I have to go to
00:20:45
training you say I get to go to training
00:20:47
which is another way of framing it I
00:20:48
guess yeah I think it's just always been
00:20:50
this I've always looked at it and I
00:20:51
don't know I Hamish always brought it up
00:20:53
and he never he'd like we don't
00:20:54
sacrifice anything he goes this is what
00:20:56
we want to do if you don't and I
00:20:57
remember him saying it to some people
00:20:59
who are talking about ours it's such a
00:21:01
sacrifice doing this because I missed
00:21:02
so-and-so winning the other week and he
00:21:03
goes no it's not like you're getting
00:21:05
paid to do this government's [ __ ]
00:21:06
paying you to sit on your ass and row so
00:21:08
yeah you don't you don't have to get up
00:21:10
and go to a job like everyone else and I
00:21:12
was like actually and so yeah we've
00:21:14
spoken about it a few times like that
00:21:15
and I think it's a better way for people
00:21:17
to approach it than than that you know
00:21:19
like if you have an office job should
00:21:21
you sacrifice going and playing golf on
00:21:23
a Wednesday or yeah you know what I mean
00:21:24
it's just
00:21:28
what are some of the things you missed
00:21:30
out on
00:21:32
as an opportunity friends parties 21st
00:21:34
right you you if your son's birth yeah
00:21:37
you made it there yeah yeah so like
00:21:38
there's things like that I got back for
00:21:40
right I made sure that that was not
00:21:42
going to be part of the equation and
00:21:44
that that caused a lot of issues
00:21:46
um
00:21:48
Jesus that's well what you what year was
00:21:51
that what year was your son's act born
00:21:52
because I feel like now now it'd be an
00:21:54
absolute no-brainer it's like 2011. oh
00:21:56
yeah yeah A lot's changed in the last 11
00:21:58
years I I changed a whole lot in rain
00:22:00
because of what happened when I tried to
00:22:02
come back for the experience holy [ __ ]
00:22:04
we we I we basically had this meeting
00:22:06
with the selecterson
00:22:08
and say to them
00:22:10
and I said to them I'm coming back for
00:22:11
his expert and they're like oh you can
00:22:14
ruin your chances you're gonna do this
00:22:16
and then the selectors basically sitting
00:22:18
there going oh men didn't come back for
00:22:19
the birth of their children and the war
00:22:20
and my wife and like my well Jackie wife
00:22:23
at the time she just looked at and I was
00:22:26
like literally hands on her leg because
00:22:28
she was about to jump over the table and
00:22:29
go [ __ ] you know but you know like and
00:22:32
then basically we left the meeting going
00:22:34
this is ridiculous like because they
00:22:36
were just like nope we're you know not
00:22:38
going to happen and I was like look oh
00:22:40
it's gonna happen you just got to find a
00:22:41
way for it to happen
00:22:43
the least effect on everything so I left
00:22:46
and then Bondi rang me and he goes ah
00:22:48
they started asking me who else I could
00:22:50
row with unbelievable yeah and I was
00:22:52
like so rude oh yeah so but it got in
00:22:55
the end right storming not well a little
00:22:58
bit of a storm in a Tikka but
00:23:01
it did get to a point where they were
00:23:02
just that was literally the conversation
00:23:04
and um and so we worked it out with a CR
00:23:08
and everything and then in the end uh
00:23:10
got a phone call when I was in Brussels
00:23:12
Jackie's Water started breaking and The
00:23:15
Midwives come come home three o'clock in
00:23:18
the morning get the phone call manage it
00:23:20
at the time they just we had an open
00:23:22
ticket to come back jumped on a plane
00:23:23
hopped through Singapore
00:23:25
uh she had to get induced because it
00:23:28
didn't happen fast enough
00:23:30
um I literally rolled up jumped on the
00:23:32
airport headed down to waikato hospital
00:23:33
and then about two hours later when I
00:23:36
walked in the door bangs up sexier
00:23:37
stayed at home for six days got on a
00:23:39
plane and went back but like in a way I
00:23:42
was willing to possibly miss his birth
00:23:45
but be there very shortly after yeah you
00:23:48
know like because do you you know you
00:23:49
know like that whole but it's great but
00:23:51
you're right there when it happens it's
00:23:53
not like you I'd have to stay over there
00:23:54
finish the World Cup like World season a
00:23:56
month later and then come back and see
00:23:58
your son yeah I did have that in place
00:23:59
so storming a teacup and then ever since
00:24:01
then like people like Hamish has come
00:24:03
back for the birth of his curtain
00:24:05
uh you know other people have had
00:24:07
pregnancies and and bits and pieces so
00:24:09
it's worked out well
00:24:11
um but yeah at the time it was it was a
00:24:14
big deal
00:24:15
and and so your son's ex um autistic and
00:24:18
yeah you and you and your ex-wife you've
00:24:20
both spoken about this quite publicly
00:24:22
how um
00:24:23
when was it diagnosed how old was he
00:24:25
when it was dying it was about two and a
00:24:27
half right so he just he wasn't really
00:24:29
talking like getting two boys and kids
00:24:31
and he just wouldn't hold eye contact
00:24:33
and it was just like he was just running
00:24:35
around the place like just no
00:24:37
concentration Etc so we just took him to
00:24:39
the develop Child Development Center the
00:24:40
daycare said uh you know we think he
00:24:43
just needs to go and get some
00:24:45
professional check up
00:24:47
um and they said oh look we think you're
00:24:49
boys autistic like here's the
00:24:50
information
00:24:51
um here's what we need to do and then we
00:24:54
just followed the steps of speech and
00:24:55
language therapy uh applying to the
00:24:58
government for funding for schooling and
00:25:00
teacher aids and everything like that
00:25:01
and then ever since then we've got them
00:25:03
into a very good school Patricia Evan
00:25:04
Hamilton which is Special Needs school
00:25:06
but how old is he now 11. it's 10 10 10
00:25:08
11 right is it quite severe what is it
00:25:12
would it be on the Spectrum I'd say it's
00:25:14
it's quite High needs in certain areas
00:25:16
like as as communication
00:25:18
and uh just concentration but in terms
00:25:22
of his functionality like uh being able
00:25:25
to Tool in himself and get himself ready
00:25:27
his riding bikes everything running he's
00:25:30
fine playing sports involved with other
00:25:33
people he's not quite into the
00:25:34
socializing because he's not quite sure
00:25:36
because he doesn't have that
00:25:37
communication sense
00:25:39
um but he's yeah he's not bad yeah oh
00:25:42
that's great it's probably a credit to
00:25:44
you guys in the heart it is a lot of
00:25:45
extra hard work it's a lot of people say
00:25:47
yeah and and that's the thing and that's
00:25:49
why you know like after doing a few
00:25:51
things and and I got asked to be Patron
00:25:53
Autism New Zealand and you just try and
00:25:56
help out figure out ways you can connect
00:25:58
and network and fundraise and do [ __ ]
00:26:01
like Treasure Island and then yeah
00:26:04
yeah the day we're recording this is the
00:26:07
day that was um that was announced and
00:26:09
um yeah that's your charity right Autism
00:26:10
New Zealand yeah yeah so you know it's
00:26:12
just part of like it you know life hands
00:26:14
you something you've got to deal with it
00:26:16
right and that's just how it is so uh
00:26:19
yeah we're doing our best weekend boy
00:26:21
and oh you're doing a great job has it
00:26:23
has it has it changed you as a person do
00:26:25
you think uh I think so yeah so from the
00:26:28
edges made you more compassionate yeah
00:26:30
but no but see I was always quite a
00:26:32
relaxed person so you know the one thing
00:26:35
with Zach you should be there and it
00:26:36
just [ __ ] throws food on the floor or
00:26:38
something and you'll be like come on bro
00:26:39
pick it up you know like there's no
00:26:41
point in getting really upset about it
00:26:43
and whatever because you just you've got
00:26:44
to put everything into perspective and
00:26:46
you've got to be realistic about it so
00:26:47
if he's doing something you've got to
00:26:49
figure out why you know you can't just
00:26:51
discipline for that reason it's more
00:26:54
reward focused for for kids like Zach
00:26:56
you know you you find out what's what's
00:26:58
creating his frustrations or whatever
00:27:01
and then good behavior bad behavior it's
00:27:04
very typical like normal child yeah it's
00:27:06
like they do something bad sitting in
00:27:07
the nautical yeah you know like do
00:27:08
something good here you can have this
00:27:10
[ __ ] there must have been um it must
00:27:12
have been hard hard for your for your
00:27:14
wife I guess so you're you're deep in
00:27:16
balls deep in training and you're going
00:27:17
overseas to these things and she's um
00:27:19
she's dealing with a an autistic toddler
00:27:22
um did you feel did you feel a bit a bit
00:27:23
of guilt at the time or a little bit
00:27:25
yeah oh 100 yeah because I'm as I say
00:27:28
I'm pissing off overseas
00:27:30
you're doing my right but then but then
00:27:33
it did balance itself out very well when
00:27:35
I'm back here that I just did a lot of
00:27:37
stuff yeah so obviously when you were
00:27:39
here you were super oh yeah super prison
00:27:41
yeah and that and that was what in a way
00:27:43
the last couple of years in the pier
00:27:45
were very tasting I'll use the word
00:27:48
testing and it's only just been I heard
00:27:50
Bondi on another he was on a rowing
00:27:52
specific podcast
00:27:53
and he basically said he goes look I
00:27:55
didn't actually realize about kids and
00:27:58
like their needs until I actually had
00:28:00
mine and at the time he didn't have kids
00:28:02
right and I always you mean testing like
00:28:04
he was he was pissed off because you
00:28:06
weren't so fully focused I don't know
00:28:07
but what was right you know what was
00:28:09
happening is is uh like Zach's sick or
00:28:12
Jackie sick
00:28:13
and I'd bring up and I'm meant to be a
00:28:15
trainer in hubba 7 and I'd go hey no
00:28:17
mate I can't get there Jackie Circle or
00:28:19
sex sick or something whatever and I'll
00:28:22
be like look I'm not going to be there
00:28:23
till nine or 9 30. because I'll get him
00:28:26
into daycare or whatever you know I'll
00:28:28
get his mother-in-law like Grandma will
00:28:30
come and whatever but I've got to sort
00:28:31
it and of course but of course you're
00:28:34
trying to tell how much and he's just
00:28:36
like no we [ __ ] training at 7 30. you
00:28:38
know so it wasn't until and there was a
00:28:41
few sessions I wouldn't say I don't miss
00:28:43
any sessions I had to adjust sessions
00:28:46
because that was the biggest thing I
00:28:47
always knew with with Bondi is that if I
00:28:49
was like oh look I can't come to
00:28:50
training today if you if you miss
00:28:52
sessions he'd like not good enough so
00:28:55
I remember and and we did have to have a
00:28:57
conversation with physiologists because
00:28:58
I was like
00:28:59
he sat down and goes oh you've got your
00:29:02
things from the other night the other
00:29:03
night Bonnie's like what do you mean the
00:29:04
other night and and Dan goes uh yeah
00:29:07
Eric sent me a picture of the thing at
00:29:10
10 30 the other night and he's like yeah
00:29:12
it's not the most ideal and I said and I
00:29:13
turned to Bonnie I said what would you
00:29:15
rather me not do it and he goes yeah
00:29:17
good point you know so you're getting it
00:29:19
done you know and that was the one thing
00:29:22
so yeah it was it was testing but at the
00:29:24
same time that's honestly that's the
00:29:26
thing with kids and going forward in
00:29:27
professional sports like we see it with
00:29:29
Valerie and stuff like that you know she
00:29:31
she juggled having two kids one had
00:29:33
diabetes
00:29:34
and still one Olympic medal you know
00:29:36
what I mean so there's no there's no
00:29:38
reason why well not that it could happen
00:29:40
but you could have someone like Lisa
00:29:41
Carrington who gets pregnant you know
00:29:42
and she's wanting to go to another
00:29:43
Olympics and then [ __ ] what do you do
00:29:45
you know you've got to be able to work
00:29:46
with athletes because they know what
00:29:48
they need that needs to be done yeah
00:29:49
they're not dealing with Muppets they
00:29:51
know what needs to be done if they can't
00:29:52
meet those needs they're probably not
00:29:54
going to do it yeah and it's a very
00:29:55
interesting like situation I think for a
00:29:58
lot of people in all sports
00:29:59
yeah that's interesting is that um so
00:30:02
you're no longer with your wife Jackie
00:30:04
it seems like you're still very close
00:30:06
though like uh
00:30:09
you know she um a couple of years ago
00:30:11
she started running and you you hit me
00:30:12
up for some uh like you know running
00:30:14
advice or something so you obviously
00:30:16
still have a good Rel it's amicable it
00:30:18
is amicable yeah and you have to be you
00:30:20
know it's like like [ __ ] didn't work out
00:30:21
oh well you know like you've got to be
00:30:23
realistic about it and and you know in
00:30:25
all marriages and you've been there as
00:30:27
well yeah it's like look yeah it didn't
00:30:29
work out there were things that just
00:30:30
were getting on each other's nerves uh
00:30:32
we're better to be apart and work
00:30:34
together for whatever we need to work
00:30:36
together and and that's the way it is
00:30:37
you know like you can you look back on
00:30:40
it and go I should have done that a
00:30:41
little bit early you know but
00:30:44
you know like you ask a lot of people
00:30:46
yeah divorce and they're like we're
00:30:47
sticking to what are you sticking to and
00:30:48
I know it's one of these things you like
00:30:50
I don't want to quit you know I don't
00:30:52
want to quit on this because you feel
00:30:54
like a failure and you do this but at
00:30:55
the end of the day some things just
00:30:57
don't work yeah I'm sure and a workplace
00:31:00
I've never been a boss but I'm sure
00:31:02
you'll be like that person and that
00:31:04
person are [ __ ] never working
00:31:05
together because they will never get
00:31:06
anything done because they just they're
00:31:08
not going to match you know and and I
00:31:10
think it's the same in this so hey you
00:31:12
know it is what it is but yeah she
00:31:13
actually loves it running yeah you
00:31:16
should have her on the podcast instead
00:31:17
of you yeah exactly do you think do you
00:31:19
think the um the autism played any
00:31:22
pattern right yeah yeah everything did
00:31:24
everything did the the the rowing the
00:31:26
not being at home the autism the just
00:31:29
life in general just you know different
00:31:32
things you know it is you can't just
00:31:35
pinpoint one thing there's just too many
00:31:37
things to just that don't work yeah it
00:31:39
was kind of me and JJ it was just yeah
00:31:41
it's a cumulus of effect oh it does a
00:31:43
whole lot of things yeah and and now
00:31:45
you'd be like oh we actually work quite
00:31:47
well do what needs to be done and that's
00:31:48
it yeah yeah do you think you'd get
00:31:50
married again I feel I feel I feel yeah
00:31:53
you're saying no I I I feel the same
00:31:55
sort of way I don't know I said to
00:31:56
someone uh actually when I was at the
00:31:58
age I was doing a Megan Randall about
00:31:59
they're like why don't you get married
00:32:00
like talking about my girlfriend at the
00:32:02
time and I said I don't know I've got
00:32:04
all the same sort of friends and family
00:32:06
who I I stood in front of in 2004 and
00:32:09
said because I was going to spend the
00:32:10
rest of my life with this person so I'd
00:32:12
feel like a phony doing it again I don't
00:32:13
know I I'm okay [ __ ] we're getting deep
00:32:16
here buddy she went in there pop that
00:32:18
bro
00:32:20
um
00:32:20
one thing with marriage is it's such an
00:32:22
Antiquated [ __ ] old-fashioned [ __ ]
00:32:24
yeah
00:32:25
do you take this person to be you know
00:32:28
for the river and you're like well I
00:32:29
don't know if it's going to be forever
00:32:30
because you look at the statistics
00:32:31
statistics yeah what is it like a third
00:32:34
or almost a half from what's nearly yeah
00:32:36
yeah you know and so you're like wow so
00:32:37
what are you getting married for you're
00:32:38
getting married to like create a bond
00:32:41
that you've already got like to show off
00:32:42
to your mates why don't you just have a
00:32:43
piss up and go hey guys we've basically
00:32:46
just signed the house to each other so
00:32:47
we're pretty much we've been de facto do
00:32:50
you know what I mean like when you're
00:32:51
married it's basically the same [ __ ]
00:32:53
yeah you know like so yeah and it's more
00:32:55
of this ownership whatever and so you
00:32:57
know you could go civil union way or you
00:32:59
could do whatever but I'm not sure I
00:33:01
just it's just not me you know because
00:33:03
sometimes you think what do I get
00:33:04
married for in the first place was it a
00:33:06
social
00:33:07
was it because socially that's what
00:33:08
you're meant to do I feel like it is yes
00:33:10
that's like the path isn't it yes I I
00:33:13
you know do that get a dog you do
00:33:15
something else oh and then we'll get
00:33:17
married you know it's like oh boy how's
00:33:18
the skin then you get married it's like
00:33:19
well did we have to get married like
00:33:21
because it's kind of like yeah it's what
00:33:23
people ask you like when you've been
00:33:24
with someone for a little while they're
00:33:25
like oh are you guys getting married and
00:33:26
then as soon as you get married they ask
00:33:27
about our kids or
00:33:29
[Music]
00:33:29
um
00:33:30
as soon as you've got one kid it's like
00:33:32
all right we're giving another one we're
00:33:33
getting divorced
00:33:36
that's the one thing no one asks which
00:33:39
is a reasonable
00:33:40
um yeah so um
00:33:43
you seem to me like you're a guy that
00:33:45
just doesn't doesn't say no to anything
00:33:47
like anything that comes your way you do
00:33:49
it like you've done you've done reality
00:33:50
TV you've done the book because there's
00:33:51
so much to talk about the boxing as well
00:33:53
the boxing yeah the boxing with um
00:33:56
coincidentally uh one Dancing with the
00:33:58
Stars yeah and I'm yeah we're using
00:34:01
Castle report bugger um wow yep bad
00:34:03
decisions um and I've uh his partner
00:34:06
Lauren she's my my dance partner but and
00:34:08
that goes right back when I started
00:34:10
doing the boxing I went to um
00:34:13
uh down to uh Hamilton ringside gym and
00:34:17
um and Rick Ellis was coaching me at the
00:34:19
time he was coaching Dave Anika back
00:34:20
then and he was like just run you need
00:34:23
to run and so I just started running so
00:34:24
we came back from the Olympics in 2012
00:34:26
and I was just running and he goes just
00:34:29
for that aerobic fitness I know just
00:34:31
because you are moving your feet the
00:34:32
whole time okay he's like you will not
00:34:34
be standing still your feet need to be
00:34:36
moving moving moving moving moving and
00:34:38
he goes you're already fit but you're
00:34:39
not leg fit you're not you can't move
00:34:41
you know you've got to be in the room
00:34:42
just go back and forth and like new
00:34:44
appreciation of boxes man those guys
00:34:46
know how to move and that's so
00:34:48
physically taxing
00:34:49
um why did you agree to that fight so
00:34:52
I'm guessing it was um Dean oh yeah you
00:34:54
just did the money motion like when they
00:34:56
pay like 10 grand 20 grand yeah it was
00:34:59
something like that oh yeah more than
00:35:01
20. yeah
00:35:03
and so for were you [ __ ] scared oh [ __ ]
00:35:07
yeah yeah yeah because like you you have
00:35:09
your first like like anything right you
00:35:11
know you want to make a bit of
00:35:14
but at the same time you know they were
00:35:16
doing all the charity stuff and and so
00:35:18
you knew that it was a big event and
00:35:20
it's you know good for profile and
00:35:22
everything else so
00:35:24
um I just signed up and then they
00:35:27
we would funnily enough we were driving
00:35:29
back in the car from a speech Amos and I
00:35:31
and um and manager was on the phone he
00:35:34
goes I've got Dean here blah blah we're
00:35:36
gonna have chat things like look here
00:35:37
it's great for you to sign up you know
00:35:38
blah blah you know are you happy with
00:35:40
what we've got going in place because
00:35:41
it's going to be a massive draw card for
00:35:43
the for the thing you know you fighting
00:35:45
money is going to be number one yeah
00:35:46
everyone's gonna want it you know we've
00:35:48
already got media tdocs yeah and I was
00:35:50
like yeah that's what it is and we'd
00:35:51
already been training for about three
00:35:52
weeks but they told me we're going to
00:35:55
find someone same height same weight
00:35:57
same ability that you can fight with and
00:35:59
then when they put it to me they said I
00:36:01
will pay you some more money and we'll
00:36:03
and you want to fight Manu and of course
00:36:04
it was like we can you know and hey he
00:36:07
got off the phone hey which looks at me
00:36:08
and he goes money you're gonna fight
00:36:09
Manu I was like yeah and he goes [ __ ] no
00:36:13
way
00:36:15
and I was like no nobody thought you
00:36:17
were going to do well nobody no no and
00:36:19
that was a and then and then even Rick
00:36:21
at the time he goes like you're in a
00:36:22
win-win situation because he goes you
00:36:23
get knocked out first round people go
00:36:25
oh you know big black are you up and
00:36:28
that was always going to happen and I
00:36:29
was like yeah and then he goes and then
00:36:31
if you actually go and do quite well
00:36:32
everyone's gonna go money why couldn't
00:36:34
you probably beat up that little white
00:36:36
rain guy you know and no one's calling
00:36:38
you little no no I know but that was
00:36:39
that was the situation and so of course
00:36:42
um in the end we just I like when when I
00:36:44
went and started training I was like
00:36:45
we've we've got to do well with us we're
00:36:47
just gonna and so so you just what was
00:36:49
your what was your goal were you having
00:36:50
to win or just not get humility you did
00:36:53
yeah well because it was in a perfect
00:36:54
professional boxing judging criteria
00:36:57
which is the most active like a 10 10 9
00:37:01
right so inbox ten nine what do you mean
00:37:03
so in boxing
00:37:04
um you know how you see at the end of
00:37:05
the scorecard and they'll go like one
00:37:07
118 versus like one 16 or whatever yeah
00:37:10
so if you if the judges perceive if we
00:37:13
fought together that I did the most
00:37:15
punching moved around and I got more
00:37:17
clean strikes I get 10 points you get
00:37:19
nine and you do 12 rounds of that okay
00:37:22
so a perfect fight is 120 versus
00:37:26
um versus 108 right right so we had
00:37:29
three rounds and so in the first round I
00:37:31
won it because because we we had we when
00:37:34
we went to the promo days and all of
00:37:36
this Liam Neeson was helping us at the
00:37:38
time and he goes just stand there and
00:37:40
just throw some punches and so we
00:37:41
weren't like moving around we were just
00:37:43
like going one like whatever and it
00:37:44
wasn't fast and I was trying to like
00:37:46
really throw some weight into these
00:37:48
punches so everyone thought we were just
00:37:50
going to stand there and Slug It Out
00:37:53
I was like jabbing move away jabbing
00:37:55
move away so by the time he was trying
00:37:57
to throw a punch we would already moved
00:37:58
and then our jab again move Punch Yeah
00:38:00
because you'd have good reach yeah and
00:38:02
so I had to reach and I had the movement
00:38:04
on my feet so we got to the end of her
00:38:06
and rep goes you won that round and he
00:38:08
knew straight away and he goes you need
00:38:10
to get this next one and you've got to
00:38:12
do the same thing so we we just move my
00:38:14
move and you could see them in the other
00:38:15
corner just going you've gotta you've
00:38:17
got to come so he came at me in the next
00:38:19
one just like throwing as many punches
00:38:21
and of course and so we both burned
00:38:23
ourselves out and he won the second one
00:38:25
and then in the third one it just came
00:38:27
down to like I I got a massive shot to
00:38:29
the ribs and I just was like full and it
00:38:32
[ __ ] it sent me really it really hurts
00:38:34
like quite big gloves are they supposed
00:38:37
to cushion a lot of the things 12 ounce
00:38:39
gloves are big and they're quite puffy
00:38:41
so you probably like if you get a good
00:38:43
clean shot to the chin you will get
00:38:45
knocked out yeah right but uh we just
00:38:48
move um and then I got this massive shot
00:38:51
to the ribs and then we basically just
00:38:53
kept tying ourselves up because I was
00:38:54
guessed and I thought I was fat I was
00:38:56
absolutely off my feet manu's like just
00:38:58
like a big slug holding on to me and
00:39:01
then in the end he won on points but it
00:39:02
was I had one around here two rounds so
00:39:04
it was quite an interesting thing so so
00:39:06
in that fight fly thing it's not just
00:39:08
about like knocking someone out it's
00:39:11
actually about the point system so when
00:39:13
we found out that it was about the point
00:39:14
system
00:39:15
Rick was just like you were going to
00:39:17
punch you're going to move you are not
00:39:18
standing if I see your feet standing
00:39:19
still so he's in the corner just going
00:39:21
move move move and it was just like all
00:39:24
I heard was just like move move and so
00:39:26
all I did was just dance around the ring
00:39:28
throw some Jabs land a couple even if
00:39:31
they're just to his gloves didn't matter
00:39:32
but boom one two
00:39:34
yeah so running for that was like number
00:39:37
one if I hadn't done my training by just
00:39:40
like pounding the pavement there's no
00:39:42
way I could have moved no way because
00:39:44
like it's just such a different Fitness
00:39:46
being on your legs where like we're used
00:39:48
to just sitting on our ass and like
00:39:50
we're using a lot of leg and body motion
00:39:52
but it's not that physicality of of the
00:39:55
different muscles you need in your feet
00:39:56
and your legs to be able to do it yeah
00:39:58
oh yeah wow I mean it was it was either
00:40:01
Brave or stupid but I I feel like
00:40:03
I feel like this little person who just
00:40:06
say yes to something and then figure out
00:40:07
the best way to play the game or oh
00:40:10
absolutely like Treasure Island as well
00:40:12
you went on one of those series of
00:40:13
celebrity Treasure Islands did you um
00:40:15
how did you get on I can't remember uh I
00:40:17
made the top out I was the first one out
00:40:19
in the top eight right right yeah so we
00:40:20
we moved as a as a group but as it goes
00:40:24
you know like you got two two things
00:40:26
coming together and they had five people
00:40:27
who had three so we were always going to
00:40:29
be offset yeah and then uh from that
00:40:32
then it was just like two of our
00:40:34
community Shannon had to go up in a
00:40:36
challenge and I just faffed it was
00:40:38
making this [ __ ] puzzle thing and I
00:40:40
was out so but but did you enjoy it I
00:40:42
loved it did you I'd do it again it was
00:40:44
it was really really hard in terms of
00:40:46
like your living
00:40:48
in your like emotions just because
00:40:50
you're so you know so tired and it's
00:40:52
you're cold and you're dirty and you're
00:40:54
not eating there's no food you know like
00:40:57
it's literally how it is everyone's like
00:40:59
they put you up in a hotel at night
00:41:00
you're like [ __ ] no like you know and if
00:41:02
you don't like the fire you know we'd
00:41:04
come back and it was raining from a
00:41:05
thing and there's no fire and you're
00:41:06
sitting there cold going in fact this
00:41:08
sucks and there was literally a couple
00:41:09
of days where I was like I was sitting
00:41:11
there with Sammy Wallace and and I said
00:41:13
I can see why people go home I can see
00:41:15
why people basically go I'm out I'm [ __ ]
00:41:17
this [ __ ] I'm gone because it was horrid
00:41:20
man we had the spray rain for three days
00:41:22
and we couldn't light a fire and we're
00:41:24
like What are we gonna eat and and like
00:41:26
you go to it you literally ask the
00:41:27
producers like can you get us some food
00:41:28
and they're like nut and you're like you
00:41:30
can what and so we were almost at the
00:41:32
point where we were going to light a
00:41:33
fire underneath
00:41:36
lean to the weird mate like that was
00:41:38
there for shelter and I was like I don't
00:41:40
care if the floor beans out
00:41:41
but it feels like that's literally what
00:41:44
we had to and in the end we managed to
00:41:45
get all these palm fronds and everything
00:41:47
across had some dry wood that we'd
00:41:49
stashed up like a like a few days before
00:41:51
and we actually managed to get the fire
00:41:53
going and we were pouring out the
00:41:55
kerosene from our lanterns because we
00:41:56
had to improvise and that was the only
00:41:58
way and then we made this massive bowl
00:41:59
of rice and then we ate that for two
00:42:01
days yum um well not yeah when you're
00:42:04
hungry
00:42:06
um because me and JJ went on one like 10
00:42:08
15 years ago called um couples at War so
00:42:10
it was like uh sort of couples
00:42:12
um and we I think we got paid pretty
00:42:14
well we got paid like 15 grand each or
00:42:16
something like that but they um they had
00:42:18
I wasn't even that bothered when I when
00:42:19
I we were maybe third or fourth voted
00:42:22
off or whatever but I you got the money
00:42:24
regardless I was stoked about that so
00:42:26
you get eliminated and you're a little
00:42:28
bit sad but then you're like oh these
00:42:31
these other the [ __ ] they're they're
00:42:33
gonna be here for another 20 days or
00:42:34
whatever and uh they're not getting paid
00:42:36
any extra yeah they've done I think this
00:42:38
the last season was really good I
00:42:39
enjoyed probably because of the lockdown
00:42:41
hey everyone was just watching it was
00:42:42
great yeah I know they've just finished
00:42:43
filming another one so
00:42:45
um you know it'll be something to watch
00:42:46
and and then when
00:42:48
you know Twinkle Toes [ __ ] out
00:42:50
they're doing a bit of a dance these um
00:42:52
you know everyone just watching TV yeah
00:42:54
um oh yeah so so dancing dancing with
00:42:56
the stars I'm sure
00:42:58
I've had you on my radio Shannon I asked
00:43:00
you about this and you said you'd never
00:43:01
do it
00:43:02
uh
00:43:04
yeah why the change why the change of I
00:43:08
think a lot of it comes down to like
00:43:10
what I do with Autism New Zealand yeah
00:43:11
because like they're my charity right so
00:43:13
so I think there's like there's a
00:43:15
percentage of your votes and the 20
00:43:16
cents that you [ __ ] text or whatever
00:43:18
goes to Autism New Zealand so if I can
00:43:20
get 50 000 people and at 20 cents each
00:43:23
to vote for Me Maybe that's 10 grand for
00:43:25
them right so is that my way of helping
00:43:28
the organization you know giving back
00:43:29
doing whatever so in a way a lot of it
00:43:31
is to do with that
00:43:33
um yeah and also the um the exposure and
00:43:35
the awareness for autism absolutely
00:43:37
underestimated and that's all it comes
00:43:39
down to you know so everyone's going to
00:43:40
have their different charities and and
00:43:41
that's basically what I'm trying to do
00:43:44
yeah I I think it's good yeah regardless
00:43:46
of how much money gets raised the
00:43:48
awareness thing I don't think they can
00:43:49
be underestimated no and it's oh it's
00:43:51
just such a like honestly I
00:43:54
I you know I go to the board meetings
00:43:56
and and we're talking about different
00:43:58
things and and you know like for kids
00:44:00
you know like you know how you know you
00:44:01
know what it was like when you're at
00:44:02
school and they go oh these little
00:44:03
Johnny's [ __ ] little [ __ ] you know
00:44:05
he's always up and he's never in class
00:44:06
running around right it's a kid with
00:44:07
autism or ADHD yeah right just no
00:44:10
support in South Auckland [ __ ]
00:44:13
two-year waiting list to get kids seen
00:44:15
to get in the children joking there's no
00:44:17
people dying really it's not enough
00:44:19
resources you know there's not enough
00:44:20
train professionals to go look this you
00:44:22
could this is this we need to do funding
00:44:24
applications there's not enough funding
00:44:25
so like if I can do stuff like this and
00:44:28
then get in front of come out simple
00:44:29
only or Cindy go hey we need some more
00:44:32
[ __ ] in Autism New Zealand if they go oh
00:44:35
we already give them you know 15 million
00:44:36
dollars a year go [ __ ] you double it
00:44:38
do you know what I mean you've got to
00:44:39
work your way up to be able to get in
00:44:41
front of them and say can you double
00:44:42
what you give us because we've got more
00:44:44
[ __ ] we need to do we've got more
00:44:45
programs we need to push out we need to
00:44:47
do this if I can get to that level where
00:44:50
I can actually make that noise
00:44:52
surely that's a good thing
00:44:54
that's basically what I'm trying to do
00:44:57
and it's good that you've got um I mean
00:44:58
it's lucky that you've got this this
00:45:00
profile that you've you know worked your
00:45:01
ass off for and you can use it for
00:45:03
something good like this that's it yeah
00:45:04
it's made a lot of sacrifice you um
00:45:08
I just got I caught myself saying it but
00:45:11
um you um like so you say you retire and
00:45:15
you've had this amazing career you know
00:45:16
the gold medals how big Awards World
00:45:19
titles whatever
00:45:20
um how financially secure are you at the
00:45:22
end of that like what sort of money were
00:45:23
you getting Oh no you're the absolute
00:45:26
best in the world at what you're doing
00:45:27
no and you're on the bones of your ass
00:45:29
or no no no no no we were we were making
00:45:31
reasonably good money
00:45:33
um I wouldn't say it's anything you
00:45:34
cannot retire on
00:45:36
um but it was enough for you to uh
00:45:38
at the time get into a house and still
00:45:41
have you know still have a reasonably
00:45:42
decent mortgage yeah and everything else
00:45:44
it was going so it wasn't like um no
00:45:47
like well to be fair it's like we had
00:45:49
the government well it's still out there
00:45:51
on paper now like 60 Grand you're top
00:45:53
level right from the government so we're
00:45:55
getting paid 60 Grand so if you've got
00:45:57
no sponsors you're making as a as a you
00:45:59
could be an Olympic champion like say
00:46:01
the guys in the eight and yeah
00:46:03
Romans appeared that won last year
00:46:06
um even Caitlyn and and you know that
00:46:08
was with uh Lisa 60k if you keep
00:46:12
training if you don't keep training that
00:46:14
disappears so you you you're not cool
00:46:17
but it's taxpayers money yeah yeah so
00:46:20
the Hamish and I we had a couple of good
00:46:22
sponsors that were probably topping that
00:46:24
up 50k so we're probably ANZ for example
00:46:27
yeah yeah so we're probably turning 100
00:46:29
10 120 which is very good for what we're
00:46:32
doing you know and and but that with
00:46:34
that comes a lot of stuff there's a lot
00:46:35
of appearances there's a lot of extra
00:46:36
work that goes on tops and then you're
00:46:39
like am I sacrificing my training time
00:46:40
to do this and so Hamish United's head
00:46:43
to sit down and we we had to turn down a
00:46:45
few opportunities because we're like we
00:46:46
can't give you any more time we uh if we
00:46:49
take days off to go to conferences here
00:46:51
and do this and that with team building
00:46:53
and whatever where are we going to train
00:46:55
we can't go and do this we can't go and
00:46:56
do that and that's yeah that's true
00:46:58
that's true God it must be hard to turn
00:47:00
that's that corporate stuff down low at
00:47:01
the time we stuff pays very well it it
00:47:05
does yeah and that's the thing you know
00:47:06
that corporate world is so different and
00:47:08
it's just something you don't realize
00:47:09
until you see it and then you're like
00:47:11
you know these big corporates and
00:47:13
they're like oh we're going to go on a
00:47:13
conference and take everyone to this
00:47:15
place and we've got a 350 000 budget and
00:47:17
you're like holy [ __ ] like just give me
00:47:20
that for a couple years don't worry
00:47:22
about your thing
00:47:23
we're singing it we'll send you a
00:47:25
message on this game so um
00:47:27
so let's talk about um your coach
00:47:29
um
00:47:31
yeah I'm curious about this there's
00:47:34
probably a lot of people um a lot of
00:47:35
people listen to this podcast said um
00:47:37
aren't familiar with the story or I
00:47:38
haven't read your book but it was it was
00:47:40
it was explosive like it was uh I mean
00:47:43
you don't do anything by halves
00:47:45
including throwing your coach under the
00:47:46
bus
00:47:48
um
00:47:52
have you spoken to him since then has he
00:47:55
said anything about the uh what you
00:47:56
wrote about him in the book
00:47:58
I mean it's it's all true I think I
00:48:00
think so
00:48:01
oh mate we don't have time for that uh
00:48:04
okay so give us the backstory so you
00:48:07
were with um you and Hamish were trained
00:48:08
by dick tanks right so we had him from
00:48:11
2009 to 2012. right and you know he had
00:48:14
won medals with Robert down ever
00:48:16
swindell's twice you know
00:48:17
um he was the number one rowing coach
00:48:20
probably almost number one in the world
00:48:22
zero communication skills
00:48:25
[ __ ] you couldn't hardly talk to the guy
00:48:27
there was almost zero feedback he just
00:48:29
trained you hard okay like to a point
00:48:31
where you know he'd just be like we're
00:48:32
just doing this every day and you'd be
00:48:34
like [ __ ] holy [ __ ] was he sort of would
00:48:36
you say something yeah I was gonna I was
00:48:39
gonna say I was going to say Lydia like
00:48:40
Lydia Lydia trained himself first by
00:48:42
running hundreds of miles each week and
00:48:44
then he passed that on to like snail I
00:48:45
think he I think dick tried to outdo
00:48:47
Lydia right oh [ __ ] you not I [ __ ] you
00:48:49
not with the stuff that we used to do
00:48:51
like I took we could turn up on the on
00:48:53
the on any race and I'd be like I've
00:48:55
probably done at least 30 more than
00:48:57
anybody else here I shoot you not what
00:48:59
now what are you talking what an average
00:49:01
day look like when you're in yeah oh so
00:49:03
you're 7 30 you're out on the water yeah
00:49:04
so so we'd normally only we and the
00:49:06
thing with dick is we really only just
00:49:08
rode like he cut weights out of our
00:49:09
program and he said like this is
00:49:12
after 29 209 he goes oh you're going to
00:49:15
get faster by being fitter than you are
00:49:17
by being stronger so we cut out the
00:49:19
weights and so we added another three
00:49:21
rowing sessions a week so the average
00:49:22
Ryan session sort of it's only about 20
00:49:24
to 20 to 30k 30k been on the long end
00:49:27
but it's divided only it's the volume
00:49:29
during the week so most I think most
00:49:31
people if you can get around that 200k
00:49:33
is you're doing really well and we would
00:49:35
be doing 260 to 80. where a lot of them
00:49:38
like um there's a saying and running uh
00:49:40
where you call them junk miles where
00:49:41
it's just like a running at an easy Pace
00:49:43
or whatever where a lot of a lot of the
00:49:44
rowing like that for you like just um
00:49:46
cruising no no never there was never
00:49:48
cruising and that was that was the
00:49:50
hardest part so it was like he would put
00:49:53
us so like there's a the woman's quad
00:49:55
which is four girls with tours is the
00:49:57
same word record speed as a means Pier
00:49:59
so he got a woman's quad and that and
00:50:01
we'd be side by side and you're just
00:50:03
like it's cat and mouse like you were
00:50:05
literally like don't let them pass you
00:50:07
and if you get in front they're not
00:50:08
coming back and if they're in front of
00:50:10
you you've got to pass them so our
00:50:11
training just was like Relentless so you
00:50:13
were racing and training every day yeah
00:50:15
and he'd set Emma off
00:50:18
like six and a half percent oh yeah so
00:50:21
she was with us and Mahi and so she'd be
00:50:24
sent off like 16 minutes or something
00:50:26
stupid thing earlier and then Mahi was
00:50:29
about eight minutes and then it was us
00:50:31
and so he'd go to Emma and go to Mahi
00:50:33
he'd be like don't let them catch you so
00:50:35
we'd go it's like a handicap race yeah
00:50:36
yeah so no but we'd just be training
00:50:38
he'd be like you're going up to the
00:50:39
bridge and back at 20 rating or 22
00:50:41
rating and he'd get Emma on the way back
00:50:44
and he'd coach her for a bit and then
00:50:45
slow down catch up to mahe and then he'd
00:50:47
get uh so he'd coach us most of the way
00:50:49
up and then we'd be just racing each
00:50:50
other for a certain percentage on the
00:50:52
way back and then you'd might catch Emma
00:50:54
with about three or four K to go home
00:50:56
and then Mahi would be there with like a
00:50:57
couple of K or whatever but that's what
00:50:59
training was about he could see you
00:51:01
coming like we could see them in the
00:51:02
distance we're trying to catch up to
00:51:04
them and that's just training was just
00:51:05
Relentless so but it just became the
00:51:08
problem with it was he had because of
00:51:10
his zero communication skills we got to
00:51:12
a point but we did we got to a point
00:51:14
sort of 2011 where you get on the water
00:51:16
not knowing what was happening right
00:51:17
right and and I mean like we had no idea
00:51:20
it's not like what are we doing today
00:51:22
dick he just wouldn't answer you you'd
00:51:24
get on the water and then he'd throw
00:51:26
something at you because you asked what
00:51:27
you were doing he'd be like right I'm
00:51:29
gonna do 5K today and you'll be like
00:51:31
and if you didn't do it with full speed
00:51:32
he'd make you do it again
00:51:34
and we'd be like are you kidding me was
00:51:36
he a bully I think he'd be called a
00:51:38
bully now but then to June that I'm
00:51:41
thinking um
00:51:42
my first um my first radio boss is a guy
00:51:45
called Steve Rowe and um he he lives in
00:51:48
the waikato now he's the the best boss
00:51:50
I've ever had and his management style I
00:51:52
had a couple of friends one of my best
00:51:54
friends Robert Scott he was at the radio
00:51:55
station at the time and if Steve had to
00:51:57
tell Robert off he'd do it in a very
00:51:59
very sensitive gentle way but because I
00:52:01
was a piece of [ __ ] and I was unreliable
00:52:04
and I was young and I was stupid he
00:52:06
would like completely tear me a new one
00:52:09
it's like I was being ass [ __ ] with a
00:52:11
chainsaw
00:52:12
um and there's no way it'd be read in
00:52:14
the face and veins popping out
00:52:16
everywhere there's no way you could get
00:52:17
away with that now but at the time it
00:52:19
was what I needed yeah and and Victor
00:52:22
dick made it just
00:52:24
he sit at a coaching conference one time
00:52:25
he said if your athletes aren't breaking
00:52:27
down you're not pushing them hard enough
00:52:29
and and I was like holy [ __ ] like and we
00:52:32
heard earlier that's the World
00:52:33
Conference like 2009 2010 or whatever
00:52:35
and I was like [ __ ] is that what he's
00:52:36
trying to do and it literally was he was
00:52:38
just trying to push you because how do
00:52:40
you know if you're training hard enough
00:52:41
how do you know how much you can do
00:52:44
you know he wasn't like a scientific guy
00:52:46
he'd hated like he never got into that I
00:52:48
think he started developing it a little
00:52:49
bit more later on
00:52:51
but yeah he would just train train and
00:52:54
it just came the problem was he was he's
00:52:56
bipolar 100 there's some he's either
00:52:58
bipolar or schizophrenic I'd never
00:53:00
probably been diagnosed but now that
00:53:01
I've learned a lot about autism I'm like
00:53:03
ding light bulb and he would just one
00:53:08
day his mood was amazing the next day
00:53:10
you get out on the water he'd say two
00:53:12
words to do nothing
00:53:14
and then he's not a healthy relationship
00:53:15
no and and that was and that was the
00:53:17
hardest part but of course and Hamish
00:53:19
Hamish used to
00:53:21
Hamish Hamish the way Hamish was with
00:53:24
dick was that it was like
00:53:26
it was like better child syndrome you
00:53:28
know where you just want Daddy to say oh
00:53:30
what is approval so yes yeah son you're
00:53:32
doing a great job son that was awesome
00:53:34
today Hamish never got that and I think
00:53:36
that's what drove him to just try and be
00:53:38
better and better and better all he
00:53:39
wanted like was Dick to go Hamish you're
00:53:41
doing a fantastic job bonding never got
00:53:43
it never not once yeah no not not after
00:53:46
the any of the six World titles not
00:53:48
after the Olympic gold
00:53:49
he'd go well done boys and and walk away
00:53:53
so like literally you know we're getting
00:53:55
on the water you know we'd [ __ ]
00:53:57
broken the world record at the Olympics
00:53:58
and the preliminary in the Heats we've
00:54:00
smashed the semi-final by about seven or
00:54:02
eight seconds we go into the final we'd
00:54:05
go down to the water to put our boat on
00:54:06
we get all suited up put the orders in
00:54:08
stand there waiting for to give us some
00:54:10
[ __ ] magic words out of his mouth you
00:54:12
know Graham Henry in the changing room
00:54:13
for the all black now whatever
00:54:15
oh let's go do what you've done before
00:54:16
I'm pissed off and we're like oh well
00:54:18
that was her there was no no rah-rah no
00:54:21
nothing and then we got off and he goes
00:54:23
oh well don't shake your hands and
00:54:24
that's basically the last time
00:54:25
haymanship spoke to him do you think um
00:54:28
really that's how it ended that's how it
00:54:30
ended and like I've probably spoken
00:54:32
maybe two or three words to him and
00:54:33
that's kind of sad
00:54:35
if you get Robert Dell or the twins on
00:54:37
here I'm pretty sure they'd say the
00:54:39
thing the same thing that's what I mean
00:54:41
it's a
00:54:43
it's so bizarre because it's like he
00:54:45
just like next person or whatever like
00:54:47
and that was literally how it was he was
00:54:50
like one of the things you've always
00:54:52
said and it was only made of mine oh you
00:54:54
probably remember Craig stand away oh
00:54:56
yes yeah pissed at him one time when he
00:54:58
was at karapiro pissed at him asked him
00:55:00
about five times Jack can I do an
00:55:02
interview can I do an interview and of
00:55:04
course everyone else would I sit and go
00:55:05
no and then they'd go oh I'm not going
00:55:06
to go again and Craig pissed and I
00:55:08
missed it and pissed at him and he goes
00:55:10
if I do an interview will you piss off
00:55:12
and he goes yep and so they got in the
00:55:14
cameraman and Craig just went like this
00:55:15
is the camera and straight straight on
00:55:17
the shoulder and he goes so you know
00:55:18
what are you know your athletes you know
00:55:19
do you do you need to get them down here
00:55:21
or whatever and he goes nope if they
00:55:23
want to come here I'll coach them if
00:55:24
they don't they're not wasting my time
00:55:26
or their time and that was this
00:55:27
philosophy it was like if you want to be
00:55:29
coached you turn up because you want to
00:55:31
be coached you know and if you don't
00:55:32
want to be coached don't [ __ ] turn up
00:55:34
and it was literally the words came out
00:55:35
of his mouth were like holy [ __ ] and
00:55:38
that was the way he was he goes I'm not
00:55:39
their friend I don't want to be their
00:55:41
friend he goes I'm here to give them the
00:55:44
best chance of winning that they can
00:55:45
possibly get and when you actually hear
00:55:47
that you're like holy [ __ ] but it's done
00:55:49
in a mythology methodology that you
00:55:51
cannot do now it's just it's not
00:55:53
acceptable no way no not acceptable if
00:55:56
you if you were to do that with a group
00:55:57
of athletes now they'd be like this is
00:55:59
wrong this is no like you know to the
00:56:01
point just pressure pressure no
00:56:03
communication like what are we doing
00:56:04
today or just pushing them out on the
00:56:06
water going come on more more you know
00:56:08
to a point where you just tell people
00:56:10
he never said to anyone you know you're
00:56:12
[ __ ] I'm going to drop you or do
00:56:13
anything like that but he would just
00:56:15
push someone until their breaking point
00:56:17
and if you were pushing someone to learn
00:56:18
tears and then telling him come on
00:56:20
harden up keep going is that bullying or
00:56:22
is that you know what I mean because in
00:56:24
this day and age you'll be like okay
00:56:25
look we'll stop it there you know just
00:56:27
whatever but he was just like
00:56:31
how do you how do you feel like that now
00:56:32
do you feel like it's um
00:56:35
like to the detriment potentially of
00:56:37
high performance sport no I think there
00:56:39
needs to be a balance but I do I do
00:56:41
think I'm I'm still on the fence with
00:56:44
the whole thing with sport where
00:56:47
it's hard man if you want to be the best
00:56:50
it's [ __ ] hard it's in you know we're
00:56:52
going back to the sacrifice and [ __ ]
00:56:54
again
00:56:54
it's it's hard you have to be willing to
00:56:58
just work your ass off you have to be
00:56:59
willing to take criticism and go you are
00:57:03
not doing it well I we've been we've
00:57:05
been constantly trying to get you this
00:57:07
you're just not doing it right you've
00:57:08
got to do it right if you want to win
00:57:09
you're not all right and and of course
00:57:11
at the end of the day your your speed or
00:57:14
your throws or your jumps or [ __ ]
00:57:16
whatever it is
00:57:17
gives you that analysis you know like if
00:57:20
you're if you're running 100 meters and
00:57:21
you're only doing I can ten and a half
00:57:23
seconds not good enough do you know what
00:57:24
I mean it is literally if you want to be
00:57:26
competitive not good enough and if a
00:57:27
Coach is saying we need to do this we
00:57:29
need to do that it's going to be harder
00:57:30
and you they're pushing you going come
00:57:32
on one more hurry up hurry up come on
00:57:35
is that bullying or is that just trying
00:57:38
to push you and that's hard to get that
00:57:40
mixed right isn't it absolutely and
00:57:42
that's why even the whole coach
00:57:43
development is really difficult because
00:57:45
where do you draw the line because
00:57:47
somebody has never taken discipline from
00:57:49
their parents and then someone got
00:57:50
hiding you know what I mean like this
00:57:52
there's a difference between them that
00:57:54
someone can willing to take a lot of
00:57:56
sort of almost I wouldn't say verbal
00:57:58
abuse but a lot of criticism like you're
00:58:00
just you're [ __ ] rowing like a monkey
00:58:02
[ __ ] a cricket ball you know like
00:58:03
something like that whereas you have
00:58:05
other people and you're like you if you
00:58:07
said that to them they'll be in tears
00:58:08
and then they're like oh my God he just
00:58:10
verbally abused me yeah I didn't really
00:58:12
I just told you it was some you know
00:58:14
yeah yeah yeah yeah a lot of things can
00:58:17
be called bullying when well I feel like
00:58:19
you probably needed someone like yeah
00:58:21
and then in the end of the day I'm for
00:58:23
all addicted and the horrificness that
00:58:26
some of it was he won the Olympic gold
00:58:28
medal and I will always be grateful for
00:58:30
that and that's the thing is I and I
00:58:32
remember saying the Hamish Hamish was
00:58:33
like Nat back that guy off and I was
00:58:36
like yeah and I sit and I said yeah I
00:58:38
get that body but I was like nobody else
00:58:39
would have pushed us as hard because
00:58:40
like literally when it was [ __ ] when
00:58:43
it's like looking like Wellington Harbor
00:58:44
on karapiro everyone's sitting on the
00:58:46
row machines and we'd pull into the
00:58:47
thing and dick could go right it's still
00:58:49
a calm spot out there and we're like
00:58:50
[ __ ] off and then the next minute we're
00:58:53
out on the water and literally we're
00:58:54
stopping every couple of K's to empty
00:58:56
the boats out and he's like no it could
00:58:58
be this on race day and you're like
00:59:01
cringing going this is [ __ ] I'm
00:59:03
going to get injured out here but at the
00:59:05
end of the day he was like right you
00:59:07
know we had some races where it was
00:59:08
horrific weather guess who was [ __ ]
00:59:10
way out of here yeah yeah yeah I mean
00:59:11
that's the thing you can't argue with
00:59:13
the results you guys weren't that
00:59:14
dominant right but of course at the time
00:59:16
you're like going oh this sucks balls
00:59:18
but of course it worked
00:59:21
so yeah just yeah that's yeah it's a
00:59:24
it's a phase and it's a chapter I look
00:59:26
back on and in there and it's yeah it's
00:59:28
a crazy one man um it must be nice that
00:59:30
you and Hamish had each other you know
00:59:31
being in a peers situation because
00:59:32
there's an individual I could probably
00:59:33
be quite lonely and but yeah honestly I
00:59:36
don't know how Emma and my head did it
00:59:37
right no idea yeah because you guys
00:59:39
could like joke about him behind his
00:59:40
back or instead of bond excuse the pan
00:59:43
on that yeah 100 and if and even if I
00:59:46
and if Bonnie was like
00:59:49
you know like he was literally going
00:59:50
that [ __ ] you know like it was
00:59:53
like and it literally was the number of
00:59:55
times we were just like and I'd be like
00:59:57
look okay yeah he's a and who cares
00:59:59
whatever and it was just like we had to
01:00:01
we you just had to get through it I was
01:00:03
like look he's trying to make us better
01:00:05
and so you try and push it like that and
01:00:06
you try and get it out of it and then at
01:00:08
the end of the day
01:00:10
every time it went well and you were
01:00:12
going fast I'd be like you know look all
01:00:14
that stuff you know it's under the
01:00:15
bridge look look it's all it's all
01:00:16
behind us don't don't dwell on the past
01:00:19
just keep looking at what you can do
01:00:20
going forward and that's as simple as it
01:00:23
went yeah yeah
01:00:25
um I hear something else I want to talk
01:00:27
about I I
01:00:30
don't know if this will sort of
01:00:31
intertwine or not or whether your
01:00:32
thoughts about like deck of change since
01:00:34
this but um yeah the um the the cyclist
01:00:36
good for interviewers Olivia podmore who
01:00:38
um took her life last year
01:00:41
um because of the part partly I think
01:00:43
from what I've read due to the pressures
01:00:45
of high performance sport so first of
01:00:47
all sorry for your loss oh mate
01:00:49
um so you you so you were one of the
01:00:51
you've been in Queenstown with her like
01:00:53
yeah just before so right where are 80
01:00:56
you know on this box yeah yeah yeah yeah
01:00:59
um [ __ ] yeah yeah the pressures of high
01:01:02
performance sport yeah they were awesome
01:01:03
she she got she she got screwed right so
01:01:05
she qualified for the Olympics and then
01:01:07
they selected someone else in her and
01:01:08
yeah so basically her and Natasha Hanson
01:01:11
qualified for the Olympics
01:01:14
um
01:01:15
the way cycling goes is they can take
01:01:17
that place off and give it to someone
01:01:18
like another team or group all this [ __ ]
01:01:20
so they were like oh we think the
01:01:21
insurance team now women's team of Suits
01:01:23
going to go better we'll give it to them
01:01:25
blah blah blah
01:01:27
okay and so it's like [ __ ] you just took
01:01:29
my qualified spot off me
01:01:30
so there's oh that'd be so frustrating
01:01:33
and then effectively live was probably
01:01:35
the next best person but then they've
01:01:38
seen Elise Andrews who ended up getting
01:01:40
a bronx middle so you've got this life
01:01:42
[ __ ] that should have been me you know
01:01:44
so there's all of this but her
01:01:46
upbringing and her situation
01:01:49
her dad was over religious blames the
01:01:52
mother that left the marriage so there's
01:01:54
all of this stuff in terms of her
01:01:56
upbringing and the way that she was and
01:01:58
yeah and actually in the end like we
01:02:00
found a whole lot of stuff in her room
01:02:01
you know and she was she'd been holding
01:02:03
on for at least a year if not 80 months
01:02:05
so in a way we were keeping her probably
01:02:08
alive she might have done it way earlier
01:02:10
right so obviously you think there's
01:02:12
more to do with like missing out on the
01:02:13
Olympics I think that's there's a that's
01:02:15
a big piece of the pie yeah but she was
01:02:18
thinking about suicide well before that
01:02:20
all right so it's terrible yeah so so
01:02:22
there's a whole lot of stuff in in the
01:02:24
background
01:02:25
and yeah and at the end of the day the
01:02:28
only thing that we've learned from it is
01:02:29
that suicide is a mental illness and
01:02:32
mental illness is pretty much more of a
01:02:34
disease than anything because you she
01:02:36
was she was talking to people she was
01:02:38
getting help she had all the things
01:02:40
around her it still didn't stop her from
01:02:43
committing suicide yeah and that's and
01:02:46
that's yeah so it was [ __ ] it was awful
01:02:48
so you you were how did you guys become
01:02:51
friends was it just through being a high
01:02:53
performance Sports people living in
01:02:54
Cambridge yeah and then uh friend of
01:02:57
mine Andy McLean
01:02:58
she was living with Andy and Andy had
01:03:01
because Andy uh he was oh he's a older
01:03:04
guy same age as me 39 and um he was
01:03:06
managing a couple of uh he manages a
01:03:08
couple of zit stations and um uh and
01:03:12
he's got other business interests and
01:03:13
stuff like that and so he was basically
01:03:16
harboring some athletes like supporting
01:03:18
them like oh just pay me pay me every
01:03:20
now and again whatever so he was a basic
01:03:22
supporter and so she moved into the
01:03:23
sleepout that he had at his property
01:03:25
um and so that's the thing he was a big
01:03:27
part of keeping her basically alive yeah
01:03:29
and um and so we had been in Queenstown
01:03:32
and then got home and we were we had
01:03:35
stopped off and seen him on the way and
01:03:38
Queen in Christchurch because it was all
01:03:40
snowing that day it was a big storm last
01:03:41
year and um got home she's like hey guys
01:03:44
and we were like oh we got that quiz
01:03:45
night on Friday night because we're
01:03:46
going to this quiz night she's I can't
01:03:48
wait to be awesome sweet and see you
01:03:50
later live she jumped in because she
01:03:52
packed carried her house oh see you
01:03:54
later guys and then like half an hour
01:03:57
later just my phone was just going nuts
01:04:00
and I was like I think Zach had just got
01:04:02
home or something like that and um and I
01:04:04
was like trying to sort him out and it
01:04:06
was [ __ ] right in the fridge and
01:04:07
everything else was like so I left the
01:04:09
phone and kept ringing I was like Jesus
01:04:11
it's one of their own boys and he goes
01:04:12
what's what's up with live and I'm like
01:04:14
what do you mean and he goes have you
01:04:16
seen Instagram I'm like no what and he
01:04:17
goes [ __ ] bro I think she's commit
01:04:19
suicide I was like [ __ ] off bro she just
01:04:21
left here like 20 minutes ago and he
01:04:22
goes no no go and so then phone's
01:04:24
ringing a game from other people should
01:04:26
put an Instagram post up just like
01:04:27
talking about the frustrations of like
01:04:28
high performance she wrote she wrote a
01:04:30
suicide note right yeah okay and so yeah
01:04:32
and so that all came out and literally
01:04:34
we [ __ ] up bro at 120k through the
01:04:38
streets of Cambridge to get to her house
01:04:40
got there and and we were right at the
01:04:43
scene and oh man and we were trying to
01:04:45
keep her alive until rescue turned up
01:04:47
and then they were like nope it's gone
01:04:49
and it was like holy [ __ ] so it's yeah
01:04:53
it was it was deep and and that was the
01:04:54
thing it was just shocking and at the
01:04:56
end of the day it's just completely sad
01:04:58
because
01:05:00
you know I think we've all know a few
01:05:01
people that have like committed suicide
01:05:03
or you know like self-harmed or
01:05:05
attempted or whatever but you know
01:05:07
people it's it's so it's difficult for
01:05:10
me to think like why are you wanting to
01:05:12
get out now when there's so much life
01:05:14
ahead we've had like how many [ __ ] times
01:05:16
have you had how many [ __ ] times have I
01:05:18
had you know like alternative account
01:05:20
yeah but marriage breakups you crash
01:05:21
your [ __ ] car you've got no money
01:05:23
you're like you're thinking [ __ ] how am
01:05:25
I going to pay my bills next week this
01:05:26
all of the stuff that goes on like
01:05:28
shit's happened or whatever and you're
01:05:29
trying to think how am I going to get
01:05:31
out of this hole or how am I going to
01:05:32
get out of this emotional thing whatever
01:05:34
and they think that's the end of the
01:05:36
line yeah you know and yet
01:05:38
these and this is the whole thing with
01:05:40
mental illness is it's a it's an illness
01:05:42
it's something that your body's just
01:05:43
saying get out of here don't be here
01:05:45
don't do this and I I'll never
01:05:48
understand but
01:05:49
that's sad it's basically the only way
01:05:51
to describe it that is it's incredibly
01:05:53
sad I think I've become more aware of it
01:05:57
three or four years ago I made a mine um
01:06:00
called Daryl who's the most amazing
01:06:01
amazing guy you could ever meet he was
01:06:03
the life of the party it you'd see him
01:06:05
on on TV at a T20 cricket game or
01:06:08
whatever doing yeah with the two issued
01:06:10
on doing the sprinkler in the crowd or
01:06:12
whatever wife couple of kids and he had
01:06:15
um bipolar had been diagnosed with
01:06:17
bipolar no one that worked with him and
01:06:19
I was a pretty good friend of his as
01:06:21
well as a colleague
01:06:22
um no one knew like he just kept it from
01:06:24
everyone and if he was having a down
01:06:25
patch had just you know stay away and
01:06:27
because he didn't want to be judged for
01:06:29
it because I never I never knew he was
01:06:31
sick I never knew he had this mental
01:06:33
illness and he's the last person I'd
01:06:35
expect to do something like that so that
01:06:36
made me think okay any one of us we're
01:06:39
just one one moment away from making a
01:06:41
stupid decision I've been prioritizing
01:06:44
my mental health since then just to make
01:06:46
make sure that I never get to that point
01:06:47
where I'm like well this is the best
01:06:49
option right now yeah and that's and
01:06:51
that's really what it comes down to it's
01:06:52
just struggles of life and and struggles
01:06:54
of everything else and and like yeah man
01:06:56
like it can just I think it just gets
01:06:58
overwhelming because I think it just
01:07:01
must be the way that you process like
01:07:03
how much [ __ ] that's going on or the
01:07:04
stuff that's going to happen or you just
01:07:06
don't see because obviously you just
01:07:07
don't see an end yeah I I don't know and
01:07:10
that's and that's the biggest part and
01:07:11
so yeah mental health is back and even
01:07:14
some days like you just sit like how
01:07:16
many times have I don't know about you
01:07:18
about how many times days I sit there
01:07:20
and I'm like I just really would love to
01:07:22
not get out of bed today you know it's
01:07:23
cool and sick if I can do whatever or
01:07:25
whatever you know it's just shit's going
01:07:27
on I've got to do this or like Zach's
01:07:30
freaking broken something and you're
01:07:31
like oh my God this is just I don't want
01:07:33
to continue with this or whatever but
01:07:34
you just figure out a way to get out of
01:07:37
it I think that's the whole thing you
01:07:39
know and that's what the helps for you
01:07:40
know that's what lifeline's there for
01:07:42
you know if you're really straight
01:07:43
that's what your mates are there for
01:07:44
yeah and at the end of the day like if I
01:07:47
really like some of my best mate like
01:07:48
I've seen you in Michigan Dom [ __ ] I'm
01:07:50
not handling [ __ ] you know what do I do
01:07:52
or whatever I'm sure there's enough
01:07:54
people around you to Rally around and
01:07:56
it's the same you know it's like but
01:07:57
this is the problem because that's
01:08:00
coming from the perspective of you being
01:08:01
like mentally healthy like so live live
01:08:03
new knew she had people like you yeah
01:08:05
she did that was the thing is like she'd
01:08:07
always come around and we'd be having
01:08:08
beers or wines or whatever and we'd just
01:08:10
be sitting there having a chat and
01:08:12
talking about stuff and and I was
01:08:14
talking to her saying like you know like
01:08:15
the Olympics is gone let's focus on
01:08:17
Birmingham and she was like oh Boyd we
01:08:19
were taking notes I was like let's do
01:08:21
this you need to go to these
01:08:22
competitions next year yeah okay it's
01:08:24
going to open up and we were like
01:08:26
writing it all down we had it all
01:08:27
planned out I was like yep we well if
01:08:29
you need to go to a meeting Andy will
01:08:30
come in and we'll get them to understand
01:08:32
that alone so she was like fully buoyed
01:08:34
yeah fully just looking what's the
01:08:36
future she had an absolute ball in
01:08:38
Queenstown my week she'd never been
01:08:40
skiing snowboarding we were just
01:08:41
lighting it up it was amazing doing
01:08:43
Torpedoes with drinks on the thing it
01:08:45
was like Wow and then just came home
01:08:48
hard to understand
01:08:49
it's it's a it's crazy man it's such a
01:08:52
Minefield and I just I just hope anyone
01:08:55
listening anyone listening you're bloody
01:08:57
struggling give me Dom [ __ ] DMS get in
01:09:00
there just honestly yeah absolutely
01:09:02
you've got to talk about it you're um
01:09:03
you're a me you're quite you're a stoic
01:09:05
though aren't you you're um you're
01:09:07
you're a strong dude yeah and that's
01:09:09
part of I don't know I just don't know
01:09:11
if that's and this is the other thing
01:09:13
this is the whole thing you know is it
01:09:14
upbringing you know like were you you
01:09:15
know were you had to be quite
01:09:17
independent or you know was it was your
01:09:20
upbringing good because I think a lot of
01:09:21
it comes back to those core things of
01:09:23
how you were brought up and poor old
01:09:25
live was like super religious and then
01:09:27
of course mum Lee's dad and then he
01:09:29
thinks she's the devil and so Liv gets
01:09:31
it rammed down the throat that the mum's
01:09:32
the [ __ ] devil and your mum's just
01:09:34
like I'm out of this abusive
01:09:35
relationship dad never said it was
01:09:37
abused you know what I mean yeah so now
01:09:39
she thinks mum's a devil dad's done
01:09:41
nothing wrong and then she finds out
01:09:42
actually my life was basically a [ __ ]
01:09:44
liar because there's no Jesus you know I
01:09:46
don't know whatever and it's just like
01:09:48
but do you know what I mean yeah I think
01:09:50
she literally found yeah opening and she
01:09:52
was just loose she was loving it she was
01:09:55
like partying just having a great time
01:09:57
massive friends group
01:09:59
enjoying herself like everything and yet
01:10:03
that was just not enough not enough
01:10:04
going to that mental health thing as
01:10:06
well like I've spoken to Jackie few
01:10:08
times you know and your ex-wife and
01:10:11
everything you know she lost a job in
01:10:13
covert and everything else she runs
01:10:15
because it's good for her mental health
01:10:16
yeah she gets 100 and she loves running
01:10:18
she's just like I love getting out there
01:10:21
she goes it's great for my head I clear
01:10:22
everything I listen to music like rain
01:10:26
or hail or shine she is out running and
01:10:28
she loves it and she does it every day
01:10:30
yeah it just helps clear her head gets
01:10:31
her ready for the day and if you need to
01:10:33
do something for ready for the day
01:10:35
that's exactly what she does yeah well
01:10:37
you've got to um I mean you've got to do
01:10:39
what you can to help yourself like uh I
01:10:41
reckon like before you go to the doctor
01:10:42
and say I I need medication make sure
01:10:44
you're eating right if you're drinking
01:10:46
too much drink a bit less get some
01:10:47
exercise you gotta you gotta you gotta
01:10:49
[ __ ] fight for yourself
01:10:51
um yeah well that's it no one's gonna do
01:10:52
it for you yeah
01:10:53
um
01:10:54
not that you not that you you absolutely
01:10:57
shouldn't but did you feel any sort of
01:10:59
guilt about Liv you know the fact that
01:11:00
you were like the last person no no good
01:11:02
it was it was one of these things I and
01:11:04
like as I say when we found stuff in her
01:11:07
room you know booklets with you know
01:11:08
what to do when you're thinking suicide
01:11:10
thoughts and you know no yeah he's like
01:11:12
talk to Andy talk to Thea and talk to
01:11:14
Eric you know like and and then go get
01:11:17
some KFC or because it was like watch
01:11:19
your food you know go get some KFC or
01:11:20
watch some Netflix whatever it was and
01:11:22
so it was just all the things so every
01:11:24
time she's like hey guys I want to come
01:11:25
around now it all makes sense yeah right
01:11:27
right so I don't think there's any guilt
01:11:29
because we never
01:11:31
did we know did we ever think we we knew
01:11:34
she was having a tough time with all the
01:11:35
cycling stuff and Andy was there like
01:11:38
going into meetings with the CEO and all
01:11:40
this sort of stuff I was there saying
01:11:41
look like let's
01:11:43
just you're gonna have to just keep
01:11:44
training looking at what the next step
01:11:46
is so
01:11:47
you know like there's no there's
01:11:49
absolutely no guilt it's basically just
01:11:51
sadness because we're like you just you
01:11:53
lose a friend someone that you thought
01:11:55
had all the world in front of her and
01:11:57
you're just like
01:11:58
said 100 said yeah but from what you
01:12:02
were saying like that that uh thing you
01:12:03
saw about what to do when you're having
01:12:05
suicidal thoughts like KFC or go into
01:12:07
Eric's whatever seems like she was um
01:12:10
like fighting for your survival with
01:12:12
every fiber of her being like she
01:12:14
obviously had these overwhelming
01:12:15
thoughts often
01:12:16
yeah and but that's it right so that's
01:12:19
mental it's mental illness so like what
01:12:22
can like she was helping herself
01:12:24
um
01:12:26
did she get enough help I don't know
01:12:28
yeah and this is the whole thing you
01:12:30
know because
01:12:31
she never attempted you know like you
01:12:33
get people that haven't attempted
01:12:34
suicide and they just don't do it right
01:12:35
or they don't whatever or it's a cry for
01:12:38
help yeah yeah whereas like I think
01:12:40
there's so much talk about it in this
01:12:41
day and age that you'd like to think and
01:12:43
I'd like to think that someone you know
01:12:45
if one of my mates was like [ __ ] I am
01:12:47
really not like I am struggling I'll be
01:12:49
like bro move into my house live in the
01:12:52
room don't pay for any like deal with
01:12:54
your [ __ ] if you've got no job whatever
01:12:55
you can stay for me as long as you want
01:12:58
yeah you know like I'll take a burden
01:13:00
off your shoulders so that you can do
01:13:02
and if I have to help pay for you to go
01:13:04
and I can see somebody I'll pay for you
01:13:06
to go see somebody and that's the thing
01:13:07
right because you look at statistics of
01:13:09
you know if if you've got a few people
01:13:10
around that wrap around all of those
01:13:12
people we could have that yeah like you
01:13:14
could have that if you get a good group
01:13:15
of people would say look come and come
01:13:17
and sleep you know come and live here
01:13:18
come do this old look after this you
01:13:20
know if you've got some let's let's work
01:13:21
this out let's do this let's find you
01:13:23
something to do just sit on the couch
01:13:25
don't care just whatever just stay away
01:13:26
from this get off the booze do this just
01:13:29
start to reset right have a reset live
01:13:32
knew that though
01:13:34
yeah and that's the thing right so what
01:13:36
do you do um yeah that's rough that's a
01:13:38
rough thing to get sorry a year to go
01:13:40
through there oh hey look yeah it's it's
01:13:41
another chapter buddy just like this
01:13:43
today is another chapter of my life
01:13:45
everyone talking to Dom Harvey in the
01:13:47
Box yeah on the podcast and I think
01:13:49
we'll end it there thank you very much
01:13:50
Eric for your conversation really
01:13:52
appreciate it and I hope you guys
01:13:53
enjoyed it as well by the way Eric
01:13:55
Murray is still on Dancing With the
01:13:57
Stars in New Zealand at the time I'm
01:13:59
recording this
01:14:00
um if you want to flick him a text vote
01:14:01
Eric to 3333 that'll cost you 99 Cents
01:14:05
and it might keep them in the
01:14:06
competition even though there's a lot of
01:14:08
dancers there they deserve to be on TV
01:14:10
way more than he does big thanks again
01:14:13
to the sponsors of this episode M's
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long run or a long bike ride but also
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just a nice thing to have in the pantry
01:14:36
so thank you very much guys really
01:14:38
appreciate the support and thank you
01:14:40
very much for listening love you guys
