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with
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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Runners only with dom Harvey and Mike
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King Advocate Advocate how does that how
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does that non-runner well that's the
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thing the podcast is called Runners only
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Mike King and um the I know you're a
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non-runner now and I spoke to a few
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people
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um and I said I was meeting you today
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and getting you on the podcast and I
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like does he run or just to the litter
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box but I tell you this I tell you okay
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a world exclusive no one knows you're
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the first to find out uh next February
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with Rick Wells and Hi Ian Jones
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we are doing a triathlon
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from wait for it capriana to Wellington
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so we are swimming running and cycling
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from the top of the North Island to the
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bottom of the North Island in about
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eight days geez you're in fabulous
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company so um yeah Rick Wells Iron Man
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champion from the 80s well sure of
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course Iron Man Champion Ian Jones yep
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legendary all black and add on me and
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and
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well you know Rick said I'm going to
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raise some money for I am hope I'm a for
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Gumboot Friday sorry for kids counseling
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I said what a great idea and he goes I'm
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going to swim and I'm going to ride and
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I'm gonna I said oh that's cool I'll do
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it but I can't swim he said I'll teach
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you so I started in January and I
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couldn't swim a stroke I never learned
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to swim I mean I could float around in a
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pool but I couldn't swim and I've been
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doing it ever since I'm gonna straight
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after this I'm going to add a new market
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pool and try and knock out a k down
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there and just yeah and I've been on the
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bike the only thing that I'm I'm short
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of at the moment is the running because
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of my knees but I'll get there yeah well
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so um how old are you now what are you
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60. I just turned six yeah new
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adventures yeah it's I mean it's um
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there is that saying you can't can't
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teach an old dog new tricks but I mean
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you can you can learn anything at any
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age but it doesn't get any easier it was
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a terrifying getting in the pool
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sayings and I'll avoid I think you know
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that that used to be the saying and that
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was just stubbornness but anyone who
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anyone who's seen the transition of my
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career
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um from a chef to Comedy and from Comedy
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and and quite a
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um you know uh politically incorrect
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homophobic sexist racist uh misogynist
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comedian he was you were Savage yeah I
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was Savage and then to transition out of
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that into a mental health Advocate I
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think um we've broken the mold and we've
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proved that people can change it you
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know I I often have people coming to me
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you know because at my mental health
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talks you know you've got to balance
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comedy with reality
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and I do that and you know people who
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like to come to go with you you know why
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you ever do stand up no
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why not because it's not who I am
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anymore
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um yeah and then they say would you do
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game of two uh game of two halves again
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hell no
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that show was legendary at its time
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though at this time yeah but it was like
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it was like you know it was like a lot
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of programs from back Benny Hill you'd
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never have that again I mean you know
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and that's what it was for me it was the
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it was the Benny Hill of our day and
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that's where it should stay yeah but I
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mean even even like way more recent than
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Benny Hill if you look at a show like
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Little Britain from say 10 years ago
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couldn't get away with that now
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um yeah oh man there's there's so much
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to um so much to unpack with you uh so
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so much to talk about because it's just
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been a hell of a life yeah it's it's
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it's Bonkers it's nuts I I introduced
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you as a [ __ ] Advocate I I have had
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a very fulfilling life and you know if
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I'd you know on the day I was born of uh
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you know even five years ago what I
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would have known where I was going to be
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and do I know where I'm going to be in
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another five years the answer is no I'm
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just you know I've I
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spent my whole life
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uh with with no self-esteem always
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thinking everyone else is better kids
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are better than me faster stronger
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athletically more gifted than I was and
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I spent my whole life looking for my
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purpose and during that time I spent my
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life
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like running down this long Corridor
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just kicking open doors just kicking
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open doors making things happen
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um in the last few years I've realized
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that that was wrong when you're going
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down the corridor life and kicking open
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doors hoping to find something all you
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find is rooms with more doors yeah so
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what I do now is I just I am where I'm
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meant to be right now and if there's a
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door that's open I'll go and that's the
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door I'm supposed to be there might be a
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lion in that door but it's still where
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I'm supposed to be at that time and is
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that still like saying everything
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happens for a reason yeah yeah yeah so
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I'm just trying to go with the universe
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and go through the doors and sometimes
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it's good and sometimes it's bad but
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always whether it's good or bad
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appreciating that this is where I need
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to be there's a lesson here I don't know
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what the lesson is there's a lesson here
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it'll become a parent yeah and the
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lesson might be uh stay the [ __ ] away
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from life
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you know okay so um I mean you were you
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were a very successful comedian like
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like a massive mass of stars as big as
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what you can get in New Zealand but no
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comedian's ever going to be named
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kiwibank New Zealander of the year just
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weird that's phenomenal so okay let's go
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all the way back so um so you're from um
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village so what do you like as a kid
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um I was one of those so
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I was a kid that never felt like I was
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good enough as I said and I was
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um you know biggest hero of my life was
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my dad and I always wanted to impress my
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dad I wanted my dad to look at me in
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front of us mates and go yeah that's my
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boy future all black That's my boy my
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old man wasn't that sort of he didn't
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Pat kids on the head he booted them in
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the ass I knew I was loved but he was a
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man of few words he just didn't show it
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didn't show me any sort of vulnerability
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or anything no no a product do you think
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um just a product of his time yeah ABS
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100 I realize now that my dad didn't
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have a dad so he doesn't know how to be
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a dad you know he was just winging it as
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he went along and for him it was work
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and he taught me the four rules to being
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a man protect your family provide for
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your family give your kids a better
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opportunity than you have and never show
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weakness and those four things for me
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added up to work my love language with
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my kids was always money why because I
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didn't have any you know uh you know we
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never went on a holiday so you know with
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my kids we went to Fiji we went to raro
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we went to all of these Australia places
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that I'd never been when I was a kid so
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as a kid growing up I had no self-esteem
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uh so I was loud and obnoxious I did
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what most kiwi kids do you know I was
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just super loud yeah you know and
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um always trying to press my dad you
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know sadly it couldn't happen so I was
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always looking to be world champion at
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something this was a standard that I
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thought my dad had set for me I had to
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be so I was a great starter of projects
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yeah uh rugby you know soccer anything
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it's looking to be a world champion
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running even tried running I tried
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everything and as soon as I knew I
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couldn't be world champion like better
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than average wasn't good enough you know
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best of my school not good enough I had
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to be World Champ and so I was always
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looking for that thing and um at eight
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years old I I made a mine told a joke in
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front of um
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a whole lot of kids and no one laughed
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and they started mocking them and trying
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to get him to tell a joke again and I
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told the joke I told exactly the same
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joke and everyone laughed why what was
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the was it timing was it a delivery I
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have no clue people have to say you know
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like uh you know you're you know
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telling jokes must be really hard for
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you and you know for me it's easier so
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I'm saying that Eric Clapton must be
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hard to play the guitar for him it's
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easy I I don't know what it is I just
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had a gift for it I knew I was good at
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it and it saved me like I I never hit
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puberty until I was nearly 18 years old
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so if you know when you're going through
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High School in West Auckland and you
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know people whose balls haven't dropped
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get mocked mercilessly
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um so you have to use the skills that
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you've got so I had two skills one uh
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was comedy but two I wasn't afraid of
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getting knocked out so I would just I
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would always throw first punch and I
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would just get in there and you know so
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people went this kid's crazy so I wasn't
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picked on so my comedy that really
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helped yeah my Angry my anger I guess
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that that really helped to us four foot
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eleven but you know I got away with a
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lot of stuff because I was the crazy
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yeah were you an Angry Kid yeah I was
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yeah
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when you're striving to you know when
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you're striving for the approval of the
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the big people in your life and you're
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not getting it you've got two options
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you kill up in a ball and you cry or you
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lash out I was the Lasher out you know
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um
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so but but comedy was always my go-to
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and I told my dad I want to be a
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comedian he went yeah you can't be a
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[ __ ] clown that's not a joke
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you've got to have a you've got to have
00:10:04
a trade mate what was what was your
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dad's job what was his line of work so
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my dad was a Salesman my dad was a
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Salesman he ended up a gardener he was
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yeah he was
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my dad was a very charismatic
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good-looking fellow great Sportsman you
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know
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um he could he could play any musical
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instrument he could play any instrument
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couldn't read music but if he couldn't
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play it like one day when I was eight
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years old he bought a home a set of
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bagpipes the next day every cat in the
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neighborhood wanted to sleep with those
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bagpipes he could he could do anything
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amazing he was a a great Sportsman
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single figure handicapped golfer left
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and right-handed good footy player good
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looking fellow with lots of friends I
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want to be just like my dad so yeah
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you're the first two things you said
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about your dad were good looking
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charismatic and uh you take those two
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boxes no don't you think no oh you've
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got when I was a kid like as a kid I was
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an ugly child
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four foot eleven buck teeth big ears
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rubber lips had a massive head like it
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looks normal now dummy it looks normal
00:11:05
now but you I was born with his head but
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imagine his head
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I can show you a picture of me in my
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David Bain talk with my with my with my
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massive head so I was like a barbecue
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dog I remember this is true my brother
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was really good looking and he was dad's
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favorite he got a nickname his nickname
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was Butch he was a good looking kid and
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I remember a girl I had a crush on
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Debbie Lazarus I'll never forget you
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know unless you go to the pool and watch
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her in a bikini and you know lie on my
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little bone again
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oh she's amazing and I remember saying
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that she was one of my best mates right
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and I said to her you know so me and my
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brother used to play this game I'm
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better than you at this I'm better than
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you this he was an artist and all kinds
00:11:52
of things and uh I remember saying that
00:11:54
there are like I'm better than I'm
00:11:56
better looking than Brian
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no I went like and I I was crushed I was
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seriously crushed because I always
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thought I was a good and she went oh no
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and
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um and she said have you seen your head
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what was wrong with my head and then
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at the roundabout the same time I was at
00:12:19
Henderson Square you know trying on a a
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pair of pants and it was the first you
00:12:24
know those mirrors where they have the
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mirrors connecting in the Watson yes and
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it was the first time I saw the side of
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my head I look like that character out
00:12:33
of Enemy Mine with Louis Gossett Jr that
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big cone at the back of your head I tell
00:12:39
you oh yeah no you're exactly no no this
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is comedy for exaggeration it
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traumatized me so much that I tried to
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get avoid people looking at me side on
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seriously it was it was such a
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traumatizing experience because you only
00:12:54
ever see your face you don't no
00:12:57
seriously you don't see there is I've
00:12:59
got a find this picture for you yeah
00:13:02
make sure it doesn't happen I I feel
00:13:04
like it's everyone's got their own
00:13:06
insecurities but it was in your own head
00:13:09
though yeah of course it was your own
00:13:10
giant header but that's my own giant but
00:13:12
that was enough that was always going to
00:13:15
be enough uh where am I you'll love this
00:13:19
yeah so this is how look look how young
00:13:22
I am yeah how old I am there Dom you
00:13:24
look like you're um you said you had
00:13:26
pubert at 18 you got a mustache the
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answer it's 22. I think there's 36. 36
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36 years
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see
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what I'm saying there is that's a that's
00:13:37
a handsome dude that is a handsome yeah
00:13:39
that's a good looking man I did grow it
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my dad said you would go I'd go into my
00:13:43
head and I did and I did where is this
00:13:46
bloody person you can never find them
00:13:48
when you know yeah no because it's the
00:13:49
fake news yeah it's fake news yeah
00:13:51
that's exactly what it is oh my goodness
00:13:54
gracious me I can't find it but just
00:13:57
trust me I've shown it there I've shown
00:13:59
it that um talks when I give my
00:14:01
corporate talks and and people go oh my
00:14:04
God look at you no I can't find it I'm
00:14:06
sorry okay no worries it doesn't exist I
00:14:08
I don't I don't believe it anyway I feel
00:14:10
like it was it was in in your own mind
00:14:12
yeah yeah like most of these things like
00:14:13
okay so so
00:14:16
um so you crack that joke at school and
00:14:18
you you get the laugh that the other kid
00:14:19
doesn't and I'm guessing that's like a
00:14:21
it's like a dopamine rush like it's a
00:14:23
it's a real adrenaline rush so then why
00:14:25
why do you become a chef uh because my
00:14:27
dad wanted me to have a trade right and
00:14:29
I also when are we talking here like 17
00:14:31
70s 80s yeah 1970s you know comedy
00:14:34
wasn't
00:14:38
restaurant in Auckland New Zealand's
00:14:41
first licensed restaurant then I went
00:14:42
and worked at bonaparts Fisherman's
00:14:45
Wharf Palomino out of Henderson and
00:14:47
ended up finishing my apprenticeship at
00:14:49
Al trovidor I went to
00:14:52
um Chef school I was in the same class
00:14:54
as Judith tabron from Seoul and meccano
00:14:58
one of the girls she's in New Zealand
00:15:00
Chef's Hall of Fame yeah you know but
00:15:02
she were you good no I was terrible I
00:15:05
tell you how terrible
00:15:07
I'll put it this way I'll put it to you
00:15:09
this way
00:15:10
I can copy anything a chef shows me and
00:15:13
and replicate it perfectly
00:15:16
I I don't have the ability to look at a
00:15:19
box of ingredients and go I'm going to
00:15:21
turn it into this I remember one time
00:15:24
Judith got 10 out of 10 for a sauce that
00:15:27
she made and when she wasn't looking I
00:15:29
grabbed her sauce and took it up for
00:15:31
marking right and I took it up and the
00:15:35
freaking teacher gave me eight out of
00:15:37
ten and you know me being me I was like
00:15:40
what a load of [ __ ] that is I gave this
00:15:44
is Judith saw she gave her 10 out of 10
00:15:46
and he only give me eight out of ten she
00:15:48
goes yes but Judith bought Charisma with
00:15:51
it
00:15:52
what does that mean well that's part of
00:15:54
cooking right right
00:15:56
Judas would always be Immaculate there
00:15:59
wouldn't be a spot of sort I was always
00:16:01
covered in [ __ ] my hat wasn't starched
00:16:03
so I you know so I did cooking
00:16:07
um you know I was trying to find myself
00:16:09
early and um I joined um I started
00:16:13
prospecting for the mongrel mob did you
00:16:15
really yeah why why did that seem like a
00:16:17
good idea well I was trying to fit in
00:16:19
right let's just try and put it in you
00:16:21
know I'm trying to I'm trying to find
00:16:23
myself these guys were looking super
00:16:26
cool for me I just started drinking you
00:16:28
know I was smoking weed at 13 and just
00:16:32
so for me it was just uh you know it was
00:16:34
part of a family
00:16:36
and then uh we we as a prospect we had
00:16:40
to go and throw some uh molotovs
00:16:43
cocktails at the highway 61 pad me and
00:16:46
another Prospect uh we did that and they
00:16:49
chased and it was only in San Diego Road
00:16:51
actually and then they chased the winter
00:16:53
run back to the car where the prayers
00:16:55
was and he'd taken off so we were on our
00:16:56
own I'm running down the road find them
00:16:59
down the road these guys are right up
00:17:00
our ass to jump into the car and think
00:17:03
we're safe and instead of driving away
00:17:05
he tried to run them over
00:17:07
and they were on the footpath you know
00:17:10
just and I was like whoa what the hell
00:17:13
is this and then we get when we left I
00:17:15
go what would happen if you know you'd
00:17:17
hit them and he just looked at me and he
00:17:19
started laughing and I went
00:17:21
oh I was going to be driving the car you
00:17:25
know that was the deal and at that point
00:17:27
there I went I'm not going on for sale
00:17:30
yeah there's no way in the hell I'm
00:17:33
doing this so I joined the Merchant Navy
00:17:34
right when I saw my uncle and joined the
00:17:36
Merchant Navy and went away to see for
00:17:38
the next 14 years I see right I said
00:17:40
after shipping no yeah so yeah yeah so I
00:17:43
I joined the I'd qualified with my
00:17:46
London city and guilds and uh the first
00:17:48
job I went and got was um yeah shipped
00:17:52
out all right you enjoy that no I hated
00:17:54
it why did you do it for so long uh
00:17:58
um because the money was so good right
00:17:59
you know and the time on time off um it
00:18:02
was horrible you know I just wasn't just
00:18:05
got into a relationship I just got
00:18:06
married and you know my wife was
00:18:09
cheating on me and you know there was no
00:18:12
communication there was letters back in
00:18:14
those days you wrote letters you know uh
00:18:18
you had a phone call and she had to be
00:18:20
home and you'd run down to the end of
00:18:22
The Wharf to make a phone call collect
00:18:24
and she's not home so for me it was
00:18:26
trauma just constant trauma so I just
00:18:29
turned to drugs and alcohol you can get
00:18:31
all the drugs you want and get all the
00:18:32
alcohol you want just to survive you
00:18:35
know and then get home and fights and
00:18:37
all kinds of you know with the with the
00:18:40
person you're supposed to be in love
00:18:42
with and yeah it was always horrible
00:18:43
it's very traumatic that whole it's
00:18:45
awful yeah yeah so that was you you're
00:18:48
married again now you've only been
00:18:50
married twice no three times or three
00:18:51
times so so the first one failed when
00:18:53
you're in the Navy uh the first one
00:18:56
failed when I walked doubt right I I
00:18:59
just couldn't do it anymore I mean I
00:19:01
still loved it but I just couldn't do it
00:19:02
anymore it was too traumatizing and I
00:19:04
remember I remember that that happened
00:19:06
and I remember how it happened she was
00:19:08
at the Inner Circle Pub in Avondale and
00:19:11
I just got home from she went down and
00:19:13
saw her and went you know
00:19:15
sorry we're done and she just gave me a
00:19:17
big hug and he goes I understand and you
00:19:19
know that was it just walked away on
00:19:21
that one and straight into the next one
00:19:23
then you guys have any kids from the
00:19:25
first marriage no she had a daughter she
00:19:28
was a lot older than me too she was
00:19:29
about 11 years older than I was and then
00:19:32
I met my next wife's second wife and we
00:19:34
had three kids and I'm on my third wife
00:19:38
now yeah yeah all right okay so when did
00:19:41
the comedy start where did you did you
00:19:43
find your sort of um even subconsciously
00:19:46
like honed that when you're in the Navy
00:19:47
like just cracking jokes exactly what
00:19:50
happened so I was
00:19:52
I I spend a lot of my time on the inter
00:19:54
island ferries and so there was always a
00:19:56
big audience we have big Crews there and
00:19:58
there was always a big audience and I
00:20:00
remember used to crack jokes all the
00:20:01
time and then a friend of mine this is a
00:20:03
good story never told the story a friend
00:20:06
of mine uh called Max Wilby
00:20:11
um
00:20:12
accidentally you know you're a really
00:20:13
funny guy you should think about being a
00:20:16
comedian I said oh don't be silly Max
00:20:18
you know I wouldn't even know how to do
00:20:20
that he said well
00:20:22
what I'm thinking is every time you
00:20:24
crack a joke and people laugh write it
00:20:27
in the book write it in a book write the
00:20:30
punchline in the book If you think of a
00:20:32
funny thought put it in the book put it
00:20:34
in the book and then when you go to
00:20:35
write your comedy if you're looking for
00:20:38
a punch line go to your book and
00:20:40
there'll be something funny in there I
00:20:42
did it the other way what I what I did
00:20:44
was I you know I still got the book but
00:20:46
in this thing I've put all of these
00:20:48
jokes and punch lines and then and
00:20:50
instead of
00:20:51
um writing something to suit I would go
00:20:54
backwards I would start with the
00:20:56
punchline and go backwards the big
00:20:58
mistake I noticed when I first started
00:20:59
comedy was comedians would start out
00:21:02
with a Shaggy Dog story and that it'd be
00:21:04
a really good story what does that mean
00:21:06
a shaggy dogs well it means I've got a
00:21:08
really great setup it's like I'm taking
00:21:10
you down the street to show you a house
00:21:12
and you're looking at all these
00:21:13
fantastic housing you oh [ __ ] this is
00:21:15
gonna be good and then you get down to
00:21:16
the industry and it's an empty section
00:21:18
and you're thinking what the [ __ ] you
00:21:20
bring me down here I always started with
00:21:22
the flash house down the end of the
00:21:24
street and worked my way backwards and
00:21:26
then if the Shaggy Dog story wasn't
00:21:28
funny I would always have funny to fall
00:21:30
back on yeah yeah that was that was my
00:21:32
end with the higher end with the high
00:21:34
always right so for me
00:21:37
my comedy career started out with a
00:21:39
character
00:21:40
Who Am I who am I well I'm the Maori boy
00:21:43
so I'm going to use that there are no
00:21:45
Maori comedians Jeremy Corbett you know
00:21:47
John Bridges David Downes all of these
00:21:51
white people need to whip Mike and Mike
00:21:53
right they're all white so I'm going to
00:21:56
use that card and and I always you know
00:21:58
so my Persona I loved Eddie Murphy I
00:22:01
love Richard Pryor so good suits are
00:22:03
important that look was important and
00:22:06
Billy T James was he like a big
00:22:08
influence were you like I can I can do
00:22:09
that sort of stick yeah even though see
00:22:11
Billy was a musician yeah and Billy used
00:22:14
to tour around England so you know he
00:22:16
was playing in a lot of those cozy Club
00:22:18
type arrangements and so he watched a
00:22:21
lot of English comedians so he brought
00:22:23
their jokes home you know and and true
00:22:25
story when I was 15 at altruvada we
00:22:28
turned into a cabaret so Billy played at
00:22:31
our restaurant uh Wednesday to Saturday
00:22:34
two shows a night so I got to watch The
00:22:37
Legend I saw him up close I cooked as
00:22:40
men I listen to the stories of him until
00:22:42
he take her and the show band so I got
00:22:45
to spend two years of my life and this
00:22:48
is two years before radio times even
00:22:50
came up but his first show right so I
00:22:53
got to see him in the beginning and I've
00:22:55
always been really resentful
00:22:58
that every documentary that's been out
00:23:00
about Billy there's a whole lot of young
00:23:02
comedians or comedians from my era who
00:23:05
didn't know the man at all that were
00:23:07
talking about them like they were
00:23:09
experts and I was just like no one ever
00:23:10
asked him you never met the [ __ ] yeah
00:23:12
that's right so we spent you know I
00:23:14
spent a lot of time with the guy go
00:23:16
spend a lot of time with Tui techa I
00:23:18
remember when he was living in a flat in
00:23:19
Mount Wellington a shitty flat and he
00:23:22
had a Rolls-Royce why because no other
00:23:24
Maori had her own you know so we could
00:23:27
go around there and watch you know watch
00:23:28
two he get into his car and the seed
00:23:30
automatically adjusts them Missy will
00:23:32
get in so you know I I worked as a
00:23:34
roadie and these bands when like you
00:23:36
know I was the only one at the
00:23:38
restaurant that had a ute the boys near
00:23:40
their gear so they used to take me to
00:23:42
the Crypt nightclub they're taking me to
00:23:44
pubs when I'm 17 years old it's 20 to
00:23:47
get in when the police came in they'd
00:23:49
hide me under the table you know I just
00:23:51
I you know I had a really really really
00:23:54
rich life yeah where I got to you know
00:23:57
spend and I always felt like I was older
00:23:59
than everybody else do you know what I
00:24:00
mean did you waiting the photo you
00:24:01
showed me before of you in your 30s you
00:24:03
look very you look younger than everyone
00:24:04
else yeah but but I'd always associated
00:24:08
with people older okay myself okay I
00:24:10
didn't like I just found that young
00:24:12
people were dumb people your same age
00:24:14
yeah well you know they were into girls
00:24:16
but you know girls were unavailable to
00:24:18
me I had no hair on my nuts so you know
00:24:20
I avoided but let's look now let's look
00:24:23
but but I avoid and I mean I remember
00:24:26
saying my dad at 17 I go what the [ __ ]
00:24:28
is what the [ __ ] is going on there and
00:24:32
he just laughed and he goes you'll thank
00:24:33
me for that you'll thank me for being a
00:24:36
late bloomer yeah being a late bloomer
00:24:37
how sorry well because when I'm you know
00:24:40
when I'm 33 I look you know yeah I still
00:24:42
look young you know I was asked my age
00:24:44
right up till I was in pubs right up
00:24:46
till I was 36 years old you know I'm 60
00:24:49
I think I'm a pretty good Nick for a six
00:24:51
yeah you look great you look great God I
00:24:53
was a late starter as well I remember
00:24:54
that the first time I saw some wispy
00:24:55
blonde pubes on my nuts I was like 15 or
00:24:57
16. I was so excited so excited this is
00:25:01
a true story I remember this Anne
00:25:04
McGregor who said to me one time talking
00:25:06
better I said I got hair on my voice
00:25:09
this is what she says
00:25:11
white ones
00:25:19
how do you know okay so so the um so the
00:25:21
comedy thing you started quite late when
00:25:24
did you do your first stand up say like
00:25:25
30 something 35. that's a [ __ ] late
00:25:27
start yeah why why what was it did you
00:25:30
want to do it before and you were just
00:25:32
nervous and you kept putting it was
00:25:33
never any opportunity really okay um so
00:25:36
I broke my leg playing rugby and
00:25:39
um I was I saw a comedy advertised at
00:25:44
um uh there was a pub on um
00:25:48
Albert Street I can forget the name of
00:25:50
it and I went in there and I watched
00:25:51
these guys and you know yeah
00:25:54
lasted about half half an hour you just
00:25:56
said anything you know I could do better
00:25:58
yeah that was [ __ ] yeah there was
00:26:00
there were Vaudeville type you know
00:26:03
um magiciany type comedians okay was it
00:26:06
was that just what people were doing at
00:26:08
the time or yeah a guy called late night
00:26:10
Mike was there and you know just I was
00:26:15
bought I traveled overseas we bought you
00:26:18
know film of Richard Pryor of Eddie
00:26:22
Murphy and so I that was my style of
00:26:24
Bill Cosby that was so my style of
00:26:26
Comedy was stories about life these guys
00:26:30
were
00:26:32
making up stories so then um I went to
00:26:35
Kitty O'Brien's I saw that there was a
00:26:37
thing down there at kitty O'Brien's and
00:26:38
I watched and I watched and I thought
00:26:40
these guys are so good and I sneakily
00:26:43
filmed I had a had a bag a camera an old
00:26:46
VHS camera but it must have been massive
00:26:48
like a handicap in a bag I just sat my
00:26:50
bag on my knee and I filmed not to steal
00:26:53
material to go home and and break it
00:26:56
down and find out why things weren't
00:26:58
funny and why things were funny and then
00:27:00
I saw a guy called Andrew Clay oh yeah
00:27:03
Andy Clay is the [ __ ] originator of
00:27:08
New Zealand stand up never ever ever got
00:27:11
credit but he was the man that started
00:27:14
comedy and music everyone else before
00:27:16
Andy clay was a fake ass [ __ ] he was
00:27:20
the man why because he's told stories
00:27:22
about life is that right I I know I know
00:27:26
Andrew like I made it through radio
00:27:27
circles he was at holiday for it really
00:27:29
is our life he he'd come back from
00:27:31
Australia done the hard yards in the
00:27:34
stand-up comedy scene in Australia and
00:27:37
survived he came back and talked about
00:27:39
living with his grandmother in Selwyn
00:27:42
Village and and you're like sneaking out
00:27:44
of the car and sneaking into her thing
00:27:46
because you know young people couldn't
00:27:48
live there he was a [ __ ] genius and I
00:27:51
went that's a stand-up comedian so the
00:27:54
next uh I went home and I practiced the
00:27:56
routine I was wasn't like everyone else
00:27:58
I had two kids so I set up in my garage
00:28:01
a couch and I had all their toys there
00:28:03
and one of the big mistakes that people
00:28:06
would ask is they would ask the audience
00:28:08
a question and they'd only have one
00:28:10
answer for the 90 answer so there's
00:28:12
three answers an audience can give you
00:28:14
the answer that everyone expects the out
00:28:17
of the box answer and I'm an [ __ ] I
00:28:20
just want to destroy you answer and if
00:28:22
you don't have a response for each one
00:28:24
of those three you're dead in the water
00:28:26
so I used to little things that they
00:28:29
would do that that have one great joke
00:28:31
and they wouldn't walk and I would stay
00:28:34
there for another extra 10 minutes
00:28:35
trying to get it back and never get it
00:28:37
back so I just learned all of their
00:28:40
mistakes and so the next week
00:28:43
I had my little wee routine now how many
00:28:46
minutes are we talking oh five minutes
00:28:49
ten minutes ten minutes so but here was
00:28:50
the deal right I studied and so I took
00:28:54
the Rolling Stones approach to Comedy
00:29:03
so the Rolling Stones used to sing Chuck
00:29:06
Berry covers right right and then they'd
00:29:09
throw in one or two original songs so I
00:29:11
went in with some joke jokes which I put
00:29:15
myself in and so instead of three guys
00:29:18
went about me and a couple of mates were
00:29:19
under this bar right you know
00:29:21
um so I started out with um with joke
00:29:24
jokes with local references uh and then
00:29:27
I had a couple of original jokes and you
00:29:30
know I go there and uh you know so I
00:29:32
walked into the pub looking like Eddie
00:29:34
Murphy had my suit on I was ready to go
00:29:37
said to Paul Horan hey how do I get on
00:29:40
the stage you come back in six weeks we
00:29:42
have a rookie night and I go who's on
00:29:44
and he run through the list I said look
00:29:46
I've been watching you guys for the last
00:29:48
six weeks I think all your comedians are
00:29:50
[ __ ] I think I'm funnier than them I
00:29:52
pulled out 400 bucks out of my wallet I
00:29:54
said here's four hundred dollars if no
00:29:56
one laughs or anyone walks out you can
00:29:59
buy the whole bar drinks and you'll
00:30:00
never see me again he snatched the money
00:30:02
out of my hands went out the back 400
00:30:04
bucks so this was um I'd say 25 25 30
00:30:07
years ago that's a that's a [ __ ] ton of
00:30:09
cash [ __ ] ton of cash yeah and I would
00:30:10
have bought the whole bar drinks yeah so
00:30:12
uh he went out the back and he must have
00:30:14
said them because they all poked their
00:30:15
heads out the door looking and they're
00:30:17
all nodding yeah put them on now I was
00:30:19
fully prepared to go first right this is
00:30:21
how much I studied I'm ready to go first
00:30:23
first was the hardest comedy wasn't a
00:30:25
thing in New Zealand but I was ready for
00:30:27
it David Down's come out with sir you're
00:30:29
the new guy I went yeah yeah he says
00:30:31
where do you want to go in the lineup
00:30:32
and in my head I went are you [ __ ]
00:30:34
[ __ ] me you're giving me the choice
00:30:37
instantly I said less than the second he
00:30:40
went tough slot I go what the [ __ ] do
00:30:42
you know this is how naive you are so
00:30:44
how it used to work was three comedians
00:30:46
in the first two in the second and then
00:30:48
the headliner what used to happen the
00:30:50
three top commit first comedians had a
00:30:53
hard time because no one knew what
00:30:54
comedy was right right so I was trying
00:30:57
to figure out what the the [ __ ] was
00:30:58
going on by the first break that have
00:31:02
all had beers we get it now so they're
00:31:04
with the next guy that's coming okay and
00:31:07
the guy at the second the last guy on
00:31:09
the second got the easiest run by the
00:31:12
third I've had more drinks now I'm
00:31:14
funnier than you yeah so I took you know
00:31:16
thing and uh last thing I said so
00:31:20
when it comes time to about packed house
00:31:22
when it come time to me getting on David
00:31:24
downskid I'll tell you we've got this
00:31:26
Maori guy who thinks he's funnier than
00:31:27
everyone else and everyone had killed up
00:31:29
to that point so the audience whoa you
00:31:32
know don't worry don't worry you know
00:31:34
it's his first time if he's if he's no
00:31:36
good we'll all laugh which got a big
00:31:38
laugh yeah and if he's terrible we'll
00:31:40
start cheering and what's that and so he
00:31:42
runs right into it and then hey here he
00:31:44
is so the first thing I did was I I put
00:31:47
David Downes down straight away back you
00:31:49
know uh and then the the South Africans
00:31:53
were touring at the time and it was the
00:31:55
first time Chester um Chester Williams
00:31:58
the first black guy was touring with him
00:32:00
so I had you know I had a joke using an
00:32:03
accent you know uh just see the south
00:32:05
over here you know Chester there but
00:32:07
someone's got to carry the bags and you
00:32:09
know and people found that funny it's
00:32:11
racist but it was fun and then I I moved
00:32:14
into my joke jokes but uh you know so
00:32:17
the joke jokes was was about me going to
00:32:21
shortland Street party everyone was
00:32:22
short I'm standing there at this party I
00:32:25
look over in the corner there's Tim
00:32:26
where Morrison and Paul Holmes standing
00:32:29
under a coffee table
00:32:30
[Laughter]
00:32:38
I said hey Belinda I want to come back
00:32:40
to uh
00:32:41
uh I want to come back to my place you
00:32:43
know for coffee and then we'll make love
00:32:45
oh no I've got my menstrual cycle I said
00:32:47
sweet I've got my Ute outside Chuck it
00:32:49
on the back
00:32:50
oh my God oh my God you'll be canceled
00:32:53
for that now yeah I know but so this was
00:32:55
huge huge yeah like you know and and I
00:32:58
got to my second to last joke and it
00:33:02
[ __ ] slayed I had one more joke but
00:33:05
the second love joke slayed and I was
00:33:07
like that's me hey you've been great
00:33:08
thanks very much and I went off to the
00:33:10
chance of more more more more more
00:33:12
little did I know when I went up and
00:33:16
this is how [ __ ] crazy my life is Ben
00:33:19
Elton had walked in as the MC was
00:33:21
Introducing Me been out and young ones
00:33:24
blackout uh now one of the massive
00:33:27
authors yeah he's on a book to it and he
00:33:31
comes in he sees the intro he sees me
00:33:34
smash it he comes out the back I'm
00:33:36
standing in a corner I'm going yeah I
00:33:38
[ __ ] own this man and Ben Elton comes
00:33:41
everybody goes all right you know just
00:33:42
watch your gig you know is that your
00:33:44
first time he said that can't be your
00:33:45
first time so we had this again whether
00:33:47
it was my first time I said I've done
00:33:48
family yes mate if that was your first
00:33:50
time you're going to be famous and I was
00:33:53
like holy [ __ ] ready he goes yep gotta
00:33:55
go and he's
00:33:59
I'm going to be famous yeah and you were
00:34:02
like straight away your Metro magazine
00:34:04
named you like a comedian of the year or
00:34:06
whatever your name New Zealand comedian
00:34:08
of the year so the the success happened
00:34:10
really quickly yeah real quick but
00:34:20
it's after why because I wanted to know
00:34:22
where I was making the mistakes one of
00:34:24
the things I used to do was I used to
00:34:26
scroll backwards and forwards how about
00:34:27
seasick watching myself you know another
00:34:30
thing that I used to do was rub my face
00:34:32
and so there's conscious things and then
00:34:35
another time like they didn't laugh at a
00:34:37
joke that I thought was really funny
00:34:40
I watched the film back I realized I'd
00:34:42
stood on the punch line just when
00:34:44
they're about to laugh I panicked and
00:34:45
went on to the next one so I stood on my
00:34:47
punchline so I learned to consciously
00:34:50
count one Mississippi to Mississippi
00:34:52
three Mississippi
00:34:54
and then I had a tactic where that
00:34:57
wasn't the joke that was the leading and
00:35:00
then the real punchline comes second so
00:35:02
I studied and I studied and I studied
00:35:05
and I had because I'd always done you
00:35:08
know uh family gigs where the material
00:35:11
always had to be new every week I would
00:35:13
change it and Corbett used to come up to
00:35:14
me and go hey man you know you can use
00:35:16
that stuff from last week and I go no
00:35:18
that's what you do man I'm [ __ ] you
00:35:20
know this is my arrogance right you
00:35:22
needed that though I remember Paul Horan
00:35:24
came up and gave me twenty dollars you
00:35:26
know this night that I did my thing
00:35:29
and he said you know I said what's that
00:35:31
for you yes no no that's that's your pay
00:35:33
you're you're so great and I went no you
00:35:35
keep it man I want to own this [ __ ]
00:35:37
that's you know that that was my
00:35:39
arrogance did um did the others were you
00:35:42
popular with other comedians or were
00:35:43
they like oh this guy's a jerk yeah
00:35:45
probably well but I feel like I feel
00:35:47
like you've probably got the cheek or
00:35:49
the Charisma to carry it off but uh well
00:35:51
you know I could be whatever I want
00:35:53
because I was the best
00:35:55
you know there was only one guy better
00:35:57
than me and that was Andrew Clay yeah
00:36:00
Andrew Clay so what did I do I watched
00:36:02
other comedians go up to Andy and try to
00:36:04
make friends to them he was like [ __ ]
00:36:06
off I'm not teaching you anything he
00:36:08
immediately became my best friend
00:36:11
immediately and him and I did the first
00:36:14
stand-up comedy tour around New Zealand
00:36:16
him and I were just glued together and I
00:36:20
learned as much I just got as much
00:36:22
knowledge out of him as I could I
00:36:26
watched him he was a pro man I remember
00:36:28
we did a gig down the line and you know
00:36:31
he's opening and there's a whole lot of
00:36:33
[ __ ] maoris in the audience and they
00:36:35
started chanting [ __ ] off
00:36:38
[ __ ] off so he bought me he brought me
00:36:41
on and you know and these guys are like
00:36:46
oh [ __ ] it and then they started talking
00:36:47
the bar and I'm like true story and I
00:36:50
you know you can please beep this but I
00:36:51
went shut the [ __ ] up your black [ __ ]
00:36:54
and they cracked up laughing it seems
00:36:58
like that's a high risk maneuver in
00:37:01
Howard yeah disguise [ __ ] awesome and
00:37:04
Andy come running up and grabbed the
00:37:06
microphone and said hey man if I said
00:37:08
that you guys would have killed me and
00:37:10
this guy went oh I thought we told you
00:37:12
to [ __ ] off
00:37:16
so I did a killer I did a killer half
00:37:19
hour and you've done 10 minutes we went
00:37:22
up to get paid and the Publican says I
00:37:25
paid for one hour this guy needed a
00:37:27
[ __ ] 10 minutes and Andy would will
00:37:30
get [ __ ] and he went back down and he
00:37:33
got on the microphone for exactly 20
00:37:37
minutes copying [ __ ] but he did his [ __ ]
00:37:41
that's a pro and then when he came off
00:37:44
we went up now give us our [ __ ] money
00:37:46
we're out of here you know I just I love
00:37:49
Andy clay William yeah and it's um it's
00:37:52
good that you're you're giving him the
00:37:53
praise that he deserves what why don't
00:37:56
you think he was as successful as what
00:37:58
he should have been because he's a white
00:38:00
guy
00:38:01
he's a white guy and and and and a show
00:38:05
where you know the stars of those of
00:38:09
those times because they were all
00:38:11
involved with Jeremy Corbett John
00:38:13
Bridges David yeah they're all white
00:38:16
guys yeah but they started the comedy
00:38:19
right so that there was no way they were
00:38:21
going to let uh like you know I'm not
00:38:23
saying this was the Consciousness yeah
00:38:24
this is not a Consciousness but there
00:38:27
was no way in hell another white guy was
00:38:29
going to come along and take you know
00:38:30
take their Crown you know I'm not saying
00:38:33
that they did it and they've blocked
00:38:34
them or anything but but you know they
00:38:37
were the ones that were picked by TV
00:38:38
like our first show on TV was a comedy
00:38:41
Gala and Andy was out there telling
00:38:43
jokes and
00:38:45
um I came out with a sign saying give
00:38:47
back our land honking you know which you
00:38:50
know which was hilarious we we smashed
00:38:54
it
00:38:55
um but but because we were controversial
00:38:59
you know we got cut from the show we
00:39:02
were the I know I'll say this without a
00:39:04
[ __ ] without without an ounce of
00:39:07
[ __ ] um arrogance we were the best
00:39:10
yeah we smashed it but I made a mistake
00:39:14
I went in our first comedy Gala
00:39:17
Willie DeWitt was mentoring me and I
00:39:20
love Willie for the fact that he helped
00:39:21
me and uh I walked out the back there
00:39:25
was a guy called
00:39:27
um he used to be um used to be Andy Andy
00:39:30
uh what's the name from TV and said he
00:39:33
still he only just Randy sure Andy sure
00:39:35
that's right he's not being an executive
00:39:37
and he was holding Court yeah in the in
00:39:40
the Civic in the dress room and all the
00:39:42
comedians were there and uh I walked in
00:39:45
and I said hey has anybody seen um
00:39:49
has anyone seen Willie DeWitt in the
00:39:51
middle of an Andrew Shaw story and even
00:39:54
what the [ __ ] and there was a sea of
00:39:56
comedians is who do you think you are
00:39:58
and I looked at I went nice one Stu
00:40:05
and I left a reference to Stu Dennis
00:40:07
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and I because
00:40:09
they were competing right right oh you
00:40:12
know she was dressed as [ __ ] guy from
00:40:14
AC DC you know let's go uniform yeah
00:40:16
yeah okay so and I left and I remember
00:40:19
um none of the Committees they're all
00:40:21
just oh [ __ ] we wanted to laugh but this
00:40:24
is our career and so I and I left and
00:40:27
Kevin Smith came up to me and he went
00:40:30
kingy that's the funniest [ __ ] thing
00:40:32
I've ever seen but that's going to ruin
00:40:35
your career and but my attitude back
00:40:38
then was well I don't give a [ __ ] what
00:40:40
these people think I don't care what
00:40:43
they think I'm not looking for a career
00:40:45
in television you know I'm a stand-up
00:40:48
comedian pure and I say whatever the
00:40:52
[ __ ] I want to say so that was always my
00:40:55
attitude and we'll let the people decide
00:40:57
and it was the people that decided that
00:40:59
I should be on TV and yeah ultimately
00:41:02
like a if you've got enough um enough
00:41:05
love from the public and enough heat
00:41:07
around you then even if an executive's
00:41:09
got an ego issue and doesn't like you
00:41:10
they're gonna have to like basically
00:41:12
suck it up and it's a motto that I've
00:41:14
taken through my whole career you know
00:41:16
even even a mental health you know the
00:41:20
same thing I'm blocked at every uh at
00:41:23
every Avenue by academics clinicians and
00:41:27
bureaucrats and government right I'm
00:41:30
blocked at every Avenue and as I keep
00:41:32
saying to them you can have all the
00:41:34
evidence-based reports you can have all
00:41:37
the evaluated material you can have all
00:41:39
the academics and all the clinicians and
00:41:41
you can have all the money but without
00:41:42
the people you ain't got [ __ ] so [ __ ]
00:41:45
you so you know still defiant right
00:41:48
nobody got to you know [ __ ] you your
00:41:51
bureaucratic arrogance and it's the same
00:41:53
with TV and Zed you know the
00:41:55
bureaucratic arrogance I remember true
00:41:57
[ __ ] story an executive at tvnz told
00:42:01
me that he made Billy T James the
00:42:04
trouble with you Mike you're like Billy
00:42:05
T you don't listen I made Billy T James
00:42:08
when he came in here he was me me and I
00:42:11
was like okay cool uh so I went went
00:42:15
home and you know internet was new but I
00:42:18
downloaded a [ __ ] script of friends
00:42:20
and I changed the name from rangi to
00:42:23
fetu to Wayne and Daryl and then I just
00:42:26
changed the whole prop and I took it and
00:42:28
I said you know he's told me I said I've
00:42:29
got this [ __ ]
00:42:31
sitcom that I've written called
00:42:33
flatmates can you have a look at it and
00:42:35
he read it and he so it has feet on it
00:42:38
and he threw it at me anyway you know
00:42:40
that is the most you know that's the
00:42:42
reason that's those characters
00:42:43
unbelievable and I pulled out the actual
00:42:46
friend script and I threw it on his desk
00:42:48
and I went he just ripped apart the
00:42:50
number one comedy in the world what the
00:42:52
[ __ ] do you know and I walked out and
00:42:54
that was the Target on my back from that
00:42:57
day but but I didn't give a [ __ ] yeah
00:43:00
and you've got a have that I don't give
00:43:03
a [ __ ] attitude
00:43:05
where did that come from because um by
00:43:07
this stage you've you've got kids you've
00:43:10
got a mortgage yeah yeah but see I think
00:43:12
that's that's the thing people with
00:43:13
those commitments it's like they need to
00:43:14
give a little bit of a [ __ ] yeah I
00:43:16
planned so I left the Merchant Navy uh
00:43:20
leaving the Merchant Navy allowed me to
00:43:21
pay off my house and I had two years of
00:43:24
Reserve funding right so I had two years
00:43:26
to make this [ __ ] work good Runway you
00:43:29
know so I just you know and for me I
00:43:32
don't I don't put a toe in the water Dom
00:43:34
I've never put a tone I jump in both
00:43:36
yeah I'm not scared of drowning you know
00:43:39
and I've done that through my whole life
00:43:41
you should have been you only just
00:43:42
learned to swim yeah I know but that's
00:43:44
me you know I think too often in this
00:43:47
world you know people are dipping toes
00:43:49
and then you know and and with our kids
00:43:52
today too many parents are working put
00:43:55
put 99 of their energy into the kids
00:43:58
Plan B and it's not their plan B it's
00:44:01
your plan and yeah you know my plan B
00:44:03
was being a chef you know and I had to
00:44:05
wait till 34. I get it I was lucky
00:44:08
though you know I had like I looked like
00:44:10
a kid so it didn't matter that I started
00:44:13
at 34 and I had maturity in by me I
00:44:15
still looked like it but I have maturity
00:44:17
yeah so and I'd had you know Mongrel mob
00:44:20
Merchant Navy you know like I had all of
00:44:23
these all of these life's experiences
00:44:26
that I could call off and been through
00:44:28
it like a marriage breakup by then as
00:44:30
well I would say I was married to a
00:44:31
lesbian woman who used to sleep with
00:44:33
other men and other girls you know she'd
00:44:37
bring other girls home and make me sleep
00:44:40
in the bedroom while they you know so I
00:44:42
had all of this you know my heart had
00:44:44
been broken so many times I I've never
00:44:47
felt like I was good enough I've always
00:44:49
had a massive inner critic telling me I
00:44:51
had him I you know I've lived with
00:44:53
imposter syndrome my whole life it's
00:44:56
funny you say that I've got the same
00:44:57
thing as well and I watched a um David
00:45:00
Letterman thing on Netflix the other day
00:45:02
Billy eilish she's got it as well well I
00:45:04
feel like it's a kiwi thing as well no
00:45:07
no no the biggest problem facing the
00:45:11
world's young people today is an
00:45:14
overactive inner critic self-doubt but
00:45:18
what makes it so horrific is they're
00:45:21
living in a world where everyone's got
00:45:23
their mask on and pretending they've got
00:45:25
this [ __ ] together yeah there is no
00:45:28
vulnerability in the world and I knew
00:45:31
eight nine ten years ago that the new
00:45:34
language of life is vulnerability
00:45:37
vulnerability truth and vulnerability is
00:45:41
what is missing uh in life I've been on
00:45:44
about this since 2008 just sharing my
00:45:48
story of thing and then yeah so is it
00:45:51
like it was 2006 where you first came
00:45:53
out and said you you suffered depression
00:45:55
yeah yeah which was um well by the way
00:45:57
we've been talking for 15 minutes and we
00:45:58
have we've we haven't even scraped the
00:46:01
[ __ ] surface part one of the my king
00:46:03
podcast yeah
00:46:05
um but in this podcast yeah I I asked
00:46:07
people about their mental health and
00:46:08
I've had like so many messages from
00:46:10
people saying hey it's good that you're
00:46:11
talking about this and I'm like [ __ ] no
00:46:13
it's not like it's Kerwin was doing this
00:46:15
30 years ago you've been doing it for
00:46:16
years but the biggest problem facing
00:46:19
people today is an overactive Ender
00:46:21
critic imposter syndrome with all that
00:46:23
self-doubt but what makes it worth is
00:46:25
everyone's wearing their masks and
00:46:27
pretending they've got this [ __ ]
00:46:28
together and everyone's looking at
00:46:30
everyone else thinking they've got it
00:46:32
all together and um so they're in a
00:46:34
Christian I'm the only one I'm the only
00:46:36
one that's what out kids are living with
00:46:39
so if you're not constantly being
00:46:40
reminded of your flaws if you're
00:46:43
constantly being told what you do and
00:46:45
you are not seeing any vulnerability
00:46:48
you're not hearing any messages
00:46:51
um of you know struggle and the only
00:46:53
time you hear those messages of struggle
00:46:56
is when you mention you're struggling
00:46:57
you know oh I know what it's like yeah
00:46:59
Dom hey plenty of other fishing to see
00:47:02
mate I have lost my first love too here
00:47:05
let me tell you the story what do you
00:47:07
think you're saying is this is a
00:47:08
universal experience what our kids are
00:47:10
hearing is oh [ __ ] so I start talking
00:47:12
about me and you make it all about you
00:47:14
and you came out the other side you're
00:47:16
you're useless you're hopeless
00:47:20
everyone's better than you this is
00:47:23
created the most toxic environment you
00:47:27
know that that there's ever been in the
00:47:30
mental health sector and and my
00:47:32
generation
00:47:34
blame young people they blame they blame
00:47:37
social media they see it's Human Nature
00:47:40
to blame everything around oh this is
00:47:42
what happened and that's what happened
00:47:43
someone kills themselves because the
00:47:44
girlfriend broke up the girl so it's the
00:47:46
girlfriend's fault no it's not that's
00:47:49
just the straw that broke the camels
00:47:51
back there is a whole lot of laughs and
00:47:54
this is what we do though we focus on
00:47:56
the behavior I I was down in otago
00:47:58
University yesterday talking to a
00:48:00
professor that I want some help with on
00:48:01
on and he he was doing a study and he
00:48:06
wanted to know the effects of job loss
00:48:08
relationship breakups on on suicide and
00:48:11
I had to tell them dude you're missing
00:48:14
the reason people are taking their lives
00:48:16
it's not an impulsive act this one thing
00:48:20
that that wasn't the that was just the
00:48:23
final straw imagine this you're a kid
00:48:27
you're a young boy you've never felt
00:48:29
valued you've never felt like anyone
00:48:31
cares you always you look at yourself
00:48:33
physically and you're [ __ ] no one's
00:48:35
ever gonna love me I'm a loser you get
00:48:38
your first girlfriend
00:48:40
oh man this girl loves me but now you
00:48:44
start thinking what if she leaves me so
00:48:46
suddenly where are you going what are
00:48:48
you going there for I want to come too I
00:48:49
want to be with you all you become a
00:48:51
Power stuck to the wrong
00:48:53
you're so clingy that this girl goes
00:48:56
[ __ ] I can't handle this I can't breathe
00:48:59
and she leaves
00:49:01
so now you're going well that's it I
00:49:04
knew they were going to get it yeah bam
00:49:06
I'm gone you know and then we go it's
00:49:09
about the girl no that is just the final
00:49:12
thing it's the build up the single thing
00:49:14
behind the majority of suicides is an
00:49:18
overactive and a Critic tell me this do
00:49:21
you think
00:49:22
Robin Williams was sitting in his room
00:49:25
and the last minute's going wow I'm
00:49:27
having such a great day billions of
00:49:28
people love me what can I do I know I'll
00:49:30
kill myself
00:49:31
I guarantee you he was sitting there and
00:49:34
having the same conversation that
00:49:36
everyone has if I want to be better off
00:49:38
without you you're a burden to everyone
00:49:41
you know all of these little things
00:49:43
you're better off gone and we did a
00:49:46
study on this using using letters that
00:49:49
the Ministry of Health ignored three big
00:49:51
things that we got out of our study was
00:49:54
those who ended their life through
00:49:56
suicide didn't want to die yeah they
00:50:01
wanted their Pain to End they couldn't
00:50:03
live without paying one
00:50:05
the majority knew that they were loved
00:50:08
but love wasn't enough
00:50:11
yeah and the majority felt like they
00:50:14
were a burden and everyone would be
00:50:16
better off without them and finally it
00:50:19
wasn't impulse it wasn't an impulsive
00:50:22
act the overwhelming majority of people
00:50:26
had long-term issues that they either
00:50:30
never discussed with anybody for fear of
00:50:33
rejection
00:50:34
they couldn't find the help that they
00:50:37
needed they got the help but it came too
00:50:40
late or the help that was offered wasn't
00:50:44
going to help them hey so so what you
00:50:47
were saying about the um internal voice
00:50:49
thing and I fully agree with you it's
00:50:51
like the biggest bully I've got in my
00:50:53
life is me you would never let anyone
00:50:55
talk to you don't talk yourself right
00:50:57
but it makes it makes absolutely no
00:50:59
sense but how do you fix that how do you
00:51:01
stop that well normalize it so I am home
00:51:04
what we do in schools is we normalize
00:51:07
the inner critic but we don't take a
00:51:09
prescriptive approach we don't walk in
00:51:12
the schools go this is what you're doing
00:51:13
this is what you need to do to fix it
00:51:15
that's what everyone does so we use a
00:51:17
descriptive approach we talk about our
00:51:20
demons growing up we allow young people
00:51:22
to recognize themselves in our story and
00:51:25
we show them how many people you know go
00:51:28
through it so I might share a story
00:51:29
about you know not being able to take a
00:51:31
compliment someone come around and
00:51:32
compliment me on opinion oh bro who
00:51:34
painted the wall yeah
00:51:37
yeah I'm trying to play yeah
00:51:39
far bro I didn't know you was a painter
00:51:42
man you you could do that professionally
00:51:44
bro and all I'm thinking is yeah but I
00:51:47
didn't cut it in properly over there the
00:51:49
colors don't match there I should have
00:51:50
sound that bad as a [ __ ] paint job I'm a
00:51:52
[ __ ] painter and then I'll go how many
00:51:54
of you kids think about their hands up
00:51:56
don't look just look at me hands up and
00:51:58
all the hands go up I said now look
00:52:00
around look around and the next sound
00:52:02
you hear is a room full of kids go
00:52:06
holy
00:52:08
look at all this look
00:52:12
look so we normalize it and I said so
00:52:16
look how many people have this but you
00:52:17
never admitted it till today no one has
00:52:20
ever admitted it everyone's struggles I
00:52:23
remember going into a school and so we
00:52:25
just used the hands up hands up and now
00:52:28
look around look around look around and
00:52:31
we normalize the inner critic
00:52:34
um I had a uh I did a school
00:52:36
teacher said I've got a Maori boy here
00:52:39
Country School I've got a Maori boy here
00:52:40
he's very angry can you talk to us I
00:52:43
want to talk to him hey man how's it
00:52:44
going I'm all right yeah cool bro cool
00:52:47
cool cool good to see you my brother and
00:52:49
you know I might have a chat with you
00:52:51
after the come and listen to the talk
00:52:53
you might find it interesting why not I
00:52:55
don't care so I went up on stage and I
00:52:57
told the story and I did my thing and at
00:52:59
the end of The Talk this Maori Boy comes
00:53:01
up right and he's beaming I said hey
00:53:04
I'll try whatever to you man you look
00:53:06
happy he goes man
00:53:09
it's so cool to know I'm not the only
00:53:11
one that's [ __ ] in the head
00:53:14
and that's it in a nutshell yeah right
00:53:17
yeah yeah if you know everyone else is
00:53:20
struggling but they're Faking It the
00:53:23
load gets lifted off so
00:53:25
the inner critic and the voice of reason
00:53:29
uh the two things too constant in every
00:53:33
human's life right but the voice of so
00:53:36
the inner critic used to keep us safe
00:53:38
because if you didn't have an inner
00:53:40
critic if you didn't have this doubt
00:53:41
you'd walk up oh there's a lovely
00:53:43
dinosaur holy [ __ ] it's eating me right
00:53:46
so it used to it warned you of danger
00:53:49
right
00:53:50
but when there is no danger it turns on
00:53:53
you and it makes things dangerous so the
00:53:56
inner critics should be 30 70 30 in a
00:53:58
credit 70 voice of reason I can tell you
00:54:02
now factually that the inner critic
00:54:04
controls 95 of our life and only 5 is
00:54:09
the voice of reason the voice of reason
00:54:10
has quieted down because we're all
00:54:13
riddled with self-doubt and we're all
00:54:15
seeing this Perfection and we think it's
00:54:17
only us 80 percent of suicidal kids
00:54:20
never ask for help and the reason they
00:54:23
never ask for help is because they're
00:54:24
worried about what society's going to
00:54:25
think say or do and they're worried
00:54:28
about disappointing their parents that's
00:54:30
the number one thing kids and I'm
00:54:32
worried about disappointing my parents
00:54:33
sacrificed everything they've worked two
00:54:35
jobs they build a factory with their
00:54:36
bare hands when they're 18 years old and
00:54:39
you know it's not giving me everything
00:54:40
and I don't want to go back to them and
00:54:42
and disappoint them so fourth thing so
00:54:45
worried about what everyone's going to
00:54:46
think say or do and they're worried
00:54:48
about disappointing people what's our
00:54:49
message to to those kids hey if you're
00:54:52
in trouble reach out and ask for help
00:54:54
that's an oxymoron that's stupid why do
00:54:57
we continue to put pressure on our most
00:54:59
vulnerable to make the first move yeah
00:55:02
that's it's funny you bring that up
00:55:03
because it's something I've always
00:55:04
thought it's like everyone says hey if
00:55:06
you ever need to reach out just call me
00:55:08
anytime day or night but let's put it
00:55:09
that's putting the onus on the sick
00:55:11
picture that's right
00:55:12
you know what the question needs to be
00:55:15
is everyone needs to go home look in the
00:55:18
mirror and ask yourself what are you
00:55:20
doing to make it easy for your friends
00:55:22
and kids to ask for help if you haven't
00:55:25
had a mate come to you in the last six
00:55:28
months
00:55:29
crying and talking about his feelings
00:55:32
not my kids are [ __ ] and ungrateful
00:55:34
shits and my wife's a [ __ ] actually
00:55:37
talking about feelings if you haven't
00:55:39
had a kid come to you and talk about
00:55:43
their feelings you're the problem you're
00:55:46
the problem and not because you're a bad
00:55:48
person but you're just someone that I
00:55:51
feel I can't talk to because you're too
00:55:54
perfect
00:55:55
you know and and and and making yourself
00:55:58
available to people isn't this dude hey
00:56:02
guys if you're feeling suicidal you can
00:56:05
come to me I'm there 24 7 making
00:56:08
yourself available is making yourself
00:56:11
vulnerable
00:56:13
sharing when you get home from from work
00:56:16
your kids know that you've had a [ __ ]
00:56:19
day they know something's on your mind
00:56:21
but if you don't share that with them if
00:56:24
you don't share the reason for that with
00:56:26
them they'll make it about themselves
00:56:28
everything is about you so you get home
00:56:31
from work your kid says oh hey Dad how's
00:56:34
your day [ __ ] my day was [ __ ] give me a
00:56:37
[ __ ] beer I'm on the couch right now
00:56:39
your kid's walking to the fridge going
00:56:41
what the hell did you do that you must
00:56:44
learn something that you're always
00:56:45
pissing that off you know as soon as he
00:56:47
saw you he was pissed off
00:56:49
but if you go to home and go son I had
00:56:52
the shittiest day I yelled at one of my
00:56:55
employees or one of my co-workers I made
00:56:58
a real dick of myself oh man I don't
00:57:01
know what to say do they go when I get
00:57:03
there tomorrow but
00:57:05
dude thank you for noticing yeah thank
00:57:08
you for being there for me man give me a
00:57:10
hug I love you now go to the fridge give
00:57:12
me a beer I'll be on the couch
00:57:14
and your kid's gonna walk to the fridge
00:57:17
and he's going to be going I [ __ ]
00:57:19
help my dad I was there for my dad yeah
00:57:23
you know and it's a complete and that
00:57:25
builds that self-esteem that sense of
00:57:27
value right so every kid in New Zealand
00:57:30
should feel good about themselves they
00:57:33
should feel when they walk into a room
00:57:35
they should feel appreciated by their
00:57:37
friends they should feel loved by their
00:57:39
families sadly we've got kids out there
00:57:42
who don't feel like good about
00:57:44
themselves they feel like nobody
00:57:47
respects them and no one cares and as a
00:57:50
result of those two things they shut
00:57:52
down from their family in their
00:57:53
relationship as [ __ ]
00:57:55
so we need to rebuild from the ground up
00:57:58
and in order for that to happen My
00:58:02
Generation has to change I'm sick of
00:58:05
people coming up to me and saying what's
00:58:06
wrong with these kids these days this is
00:58:08
the greatest generation of kids in the
00:58:11
history of the world they have more
00:58:12
empathy more sympathy they have more
00:58:15
um great ideas they have more caring
00:58:18
than any other generation in the history
00:58:20
of the world we are [ __ ] them up with
00:58:24
our old school you know protect provide
00:58:27
give your kids a better opportunity and
00:58:29
never show weakness and we need to
00:58:31
change stop telling kids what to do
00:58:34
start showing them what to do yeah
00:58:36
geez oh my God we've been talking for an
00:58:38
hour have you got anywhere to be or no
00:58:40
okay cool cool I'm I'm loving this chat
00:58:42
and there's still so much more to [ __ ]
00:58:44
you've done the workout you've done with
00:58:45
them with your comedy you did the work
00:58:47
and you got very good and and now I can
00:58:49
tell you've like put the same energy and
00:58:51
enthusiasm
00:58:53
but I did what everyone else I didn't
00:58:55
learn in books
00:58:58
ten years I've spoken
00:59:01
I've spoke a thousand kids personally
00:59:03
when they contact you it's a genuine
00:59:05
contact I give my number out to
00:59:07
corporates and I get wankers trying to
00:59:09
sell me [ __ ] you know these kids are
00:59:12
genuinely there and nine out of 10 times
00:59:14
it's concerned for someone else yeah you
00:59:17
know I've got a friend who's this I've
00:59:18
got a friend who's that uh or it's about
00:59:21
themselves and they just need
00:59:23
reassurance that you know one there is
00:59:26
someone there and two that their
00:59:28
thoughts are normal so I've been out
00:59:30
I've done the ads and everything I say
00:59:33
is not my opinion this is what kids are
00:59:37
telling me and so what are your people
00:59:38
well that's your opinion no actually
00:59:40
it's not my opinion this is passing on
00:59:43
feedback this is what your kids are
00:59:45
telling well I disagree well that's like
00:59:48
Sam dude I've just told you I like
00:59:50
Kentucky Fried Chicken oh it does say
00:59:53
again
00:59:54
you know Everyone likes gay pride you
00:59:58
know what I mean yeah yeah yeah you
00:59:59
can't just
01:00:01
yeah you can't disagree
01:00:05
with busy manned them yeah so you came
01:00:08
out and um said you suffered from
01:00:10
depression in 2006. do you think um it
01:00:13
had been there your whole life you're an
01:00:14
angry dude for a while was it was was
01:00:16
that just your way of like projecting
01:00:18
the depression yeah yeah of course so
01:00:21
when I got famous
01:00:23
you know that was supposed to change my
01:00:25
life I always thought Fame and Fortune
01:00:27
was the ultimate goal being well best at
01:00:30
whatever it is right and in my mind I
01:00:34
you know I expected that moment was
01:00:36
going to be big it was like these these
01:00:39
two gates would open Golden Gates would
01:00:42
open there'd be a ticket tape parade the
01:00:44
king had a ride yeah and you know people
01:00:46
would be throwing confetti and singing
01:00:49
your name kills your phone panties it
01:00:52
was gonna be it was the ultimate right
01:00:54
yeah it's like winning the lotto a
01:00:57
billion to one shot and I [ __ ] got it
01:01:01
I was the first and then these gates
01:01:03
open and there was my big head gang
01:01:05
you're still a [ __ ] loser you should
01:01:07
be flipping burgers and for me when
01:01:10
you're when your whole life had been set
01:01:14
for this moment
01:01:16
and it didn't pan out
01:01:19
for me that's when my inner critic got
01:01:21
really loud and it was constantly
01:01:23
taunting me and that's when the drug and
01:01:26
alcohol use
01:01:28
took over yeah so you you loved your
01:01:31
cocaine I love myself I started a travel
01:01:34
agency Dom when Coke was in short supply
01:01:37
in New Zealand just so I could fly
01:01:39
around the world when it ran out how
01:01:42
crazy is that [ __ ] so I'm guessing like
01:01:44
it started as um like like a fun thing
01:01:47
so you do a show whatever have a have a
01:01:49
bag of gear and then uh so the first
01:01:51
time I tried Coke
01:01:53
was in 96 right 1996.
01:02:00
um I was at a gig in Monaco
01:02:02
um I was with another American comedian
01:02:05
called Todd Hanford and we just finished
01:02:08
this gig and a guy came over and he
01:02:11
shook my hand and said that was amazing
01:02:13
and he palmed me some gear right now
01:02:16
lots of people have been pounding me
01:02:18
yeah it was all usually always weed and
01:02:20
so I got this thing and I went into the
01:02:23
toilet and it was a block of Coke
01:02:25
and I didn't know really what cope was
01:02:28
so I said to my American Community hey
01:02:29
man what's this hey hey
01:02:34
hey hey hey
01:02:36
so he dropped down the toilet seat and
01:02:38
he lined us up two lines and I smashed
01:02:42
my line and then I immediately vomited
01:02:45
like you know I just [ __ ] whoa what
01:02:47
the [ __ ] is happening and I threw up and
01:02:51
everything that I've become addicted to
01:02:53
in my life alcohol I threw up cigarettes
01:02:56
I threw up Coke I threw up right so I
01:02:59
thought I'll never get addicted to this
01:03:01
[ __ ] what a [ __ ] if this is what this
01:03:03
[ __ ] is I'm out soon as I walked out
01:03:07
into the into back into the the bar
01:03:11
every single conversation in this place
01:03:15
was crystal clear to me I could hear
01:03:18
different groups talking there was a
01:03:20
group of University students who just
01:03:22
lost a friend of theirs there was
01:03:24
another group of people that were going
01:03:26
to get married but I could hear every
01:03:28
conversation these University students
01:03:31
were were talking about some scientific
01:03:34
thing and out of my ring binder of
01:03:37
memories
01:03:39
something popped up that was Associated
01:03:42
so I was able to enjoy the conversation
01:03:45
and these people were like holy [ __ ]
01:03:47
you're a whole lot more intelligent but
01:03:49
when I talk to the people it just lots
01:03:50
of my empathy level was right there I
01:03:53
could reach the level of every single
01:03:55
one and it was like magic for a comedian
01:03:58
to be that connected with people in the
01:04:01
room that was like the ultimate some of
01:04:05
you felt like it made you a better
01:04:06
person immediately like huge of course
01:04:08
it turns a lot of people into a deck
01:04:10
like if they're they're just like
01:04:12
conversation Hogs and it does and it
01:04:15
does eventually and that's exactly what
01:04:17
happened you know after years of use of
01:04:20
course that's what happened so and then
01:04:22
in
01:04:23
1997 maybe eight months later
01:04:27
um I end up going to London and spending
01:04:31
six months on the SARS six or eight
01:04:33
weeks on the scene up there and same
01:04:35
thing I did a gig and a skeezy come up
01:04:37
to me after his ear uh if you have any
01:04:40
like you know the Rings The Whole Nine
01:04:42
yeah
01:04:43
it was a local drug dealer whatever you
01:04:45
need whenever you need it you give me a
01:04:47
call that was the funniest thing I've
01:04:49
seen so for the next six weeks I was in
01:04:51
Coke heaven but I didn't have to pay but
01:04:53
it was 100 quid yeah 50 Quid a gram you
01:04:56
know so and it was a real deal not like
01:04:58
the [ __ ] that they were selling back
01:04:59
here and
01:05:01
um so for me that was you know and then
01:05:03
I ended up in Vegas and yeah yeah so we
01:05:07
when did it stop being stop being fun
01:05:09
and like start being a chore or it never
01:05:12
stop being fun
01:05:15
and never ever stop being fun yeah but
01:05:19
um but okay
01:05:21
I knew it was destroying me yeah I knew
01:05:24
it was destroying me I knew you know the
01:05:27
state of my career you know
01:05:30
a bit like 660 you know I'd done all the
01:05:32
town hall tours you can only do Town
01:05:34
Halls you can only play Eden Park a
01:05:36
certain amount of times and then the
01:05:38
rooms get smaller you know I the first
01:05:40
Town Hall tour I ever did was in 2000
01:05:43
with radar you know we sold out you know
01:05:46
the St James Theater [ __ ] twice yeah
01:05:49
not once twice you know we were playing
01:05:52
every major town hall in the country man
01:05:57
you know
01:05:59
like I had that much money you know like
01:06:01
on this tour I see my manager to come
01:06:04
and pick up a [ __ ] briefcase of cash
01:06:06
and take it home you know wow it was
01:06:08
ridiculous it was a ridiculous time you
01:06:12
know
01:06:13
I'm 10 foot tall and bulletproof I start
01:06:15
out with you know an hour of material I
01:06:18
get home with three hours of material
01:06:20
because so many things were happening
01:06:21
and the coke was flown so ideas were
01:06:23
flowing and I was just living and
01:06:25
breathing comedy 24 7. but the room
01:06:29
started getting smaller and you know and
01:06:32
the the the the cost of the coke was
01:06:34
getting higher and higher and higher and
01:06:37
I you know and I was but you know when
01:06:39
you're worrying about finances you end
01:06:41
up being an [ __ ] you know and you're
01:06:44
blaming everybody else and you know
01:06:46
young ones are coming up and in the in
01:06:48
the um
01:06:50
the [ __ ] Newsboy thing started you
01:06:53
know oh yeah yeah now that you bring it
01:06:55
like most people wouldn't wouldn't
01:06:56
remember that but um
01:06:57
so there's a sketch on like eating media
01:07:00
lunch or one of the one of the and this
01:07:03
show wasn't [ __ ] rating at all right
01:07:06
it was a nice sort of show not a
01:07:08
mainstream show it was on a 10 30 at
01:07:10
night and there was a uh a dog that was
01:07:13
Mike King and he was snorting [ __ ] or
01:07:15
smoking pee or something and of course I
01:07:18
was
01:07:19
but of course I went into denials and
01:07:22
how [ __ ] dare you like you've crossed
01:07:24
the line you see you left a voicemail
01:07:26
message saying no I left it on a mate's
01:07:29
phone right I left you tell your [ __ ]
01:07:31
up friend that he's [ __ ] with the
01:07:34
wrong guy but for me right I'm old
01:07:37
school I'm old school you don't knock on
01:07:40
people you know you just [ __ ] know
01:07:43
you do the lag you know so but you know
01:07:46
these new kids they don't give a [ __ ] so
01:07:48
he passed it on to uh Jeremy Wells and
01:07:52
Jeremy posted it up and like you know I
01:07:55
was thinking it was a big deal at the
01:07:56
time here's my [ __ ] phone number call
01:07:58
me yeah you know and I put my phone
01:08:01
number on there and he [ __ ] he didn't
01:08:03
take the phone number off and he
01:08:04
broadcasted it and that basically
01:08:06
launched his career you know and you
01:08:10
know if I'm being honest I'm still a
01:08:12
little resentful of that really you know
01:08:14
yeah have you seen have you seen Jeremy
01:08:16
yeah I have I've learned from the
01:08:18
experience and I've told you know it's
01:08:19
probably the best thing that could have
01:08:21
happened yeah but I'm still old school
01:08:23
you know what it's like you've been on
01:08:25
radio yeah you know you've had people
01:08:27
come up to you go ah don't [ __ ] don't
01:08:30
like you you know never [ __ ] life
01:08:33
that's a lot I don't listen to your [ __ ]
01:08:35
you know my response to that thank you
01:08:37
yeah what I've just [ __ ] told you
01:08:40
you're an [ __ ] thank you
01:08:43
what do you mean I said I'm just
01:08:45
thankful I gave you the opportunity to
01:08:47
get that off your chest now you don't
01:08:49
have to carry around anymore I'm an
01:08:51
[ __ ] guess what I think I'm an
01:08:53
[ __ ] sometimes too yeah we talk about
01:08:55
the the inner critic before it's like
01:08:56
you think I'm an [ __ ] you could never
01:08:58
forget
01:08:59
myself that's right
01:09:01
um the Jeremy Wells thing like that that
01:09:03
angry message was was part of that you
01:09:05
like your depression do you think no
01:09:07
because I wasn't had nothing to do with
01:09:10
it okay he told the world the truth
01:09:13
I was a [ __ ] drug addict I thought I
01:09:17
had it well hidden but I was a [ __ ]
01:09:21
drug addict and he outed me to the world
01:09:24
he broke the code he knocked on me to
01:09:28
the world he and and that's what like
01:09:31
I'm still in the mongrel mob mentality
01:09:33
you know you knock you [ __ ] die yeah
01:09:35
that was my you know that was my so he
01:09:38
told the truth and I was in denial you
01:09:41
know and at the you know so at the time
01:09:43
that's what hurt as he told the truth
01:09:46
and I wasn't ready to face the truth and
01:09:49
that's what made me angry and so I went
01:09:52
straight into denial mode and I swing
01:09:55
straight into Attack Mode which has
01:09:56
always been you know how how I've
01:09:59
operated you sort of fight your way out
01:10:01
of things oh of course retaliate yeah
01:10:03
let's find this Alleyway dude
01:10:06
that was that's my mentality yeah and
01:10:10
and the iron is you know he'd probably
01:10:12
give me a [ __ ] good hiding
01:10:14
I don't know had made some rules like
01:10:17
just no face punches okay so um you see
01:10:21
before like um you bought a travel
01:10:22
agency yeah
01:10:24
yeah Travel King oh really you're
01:10:26
traveling in the right company well yeah
01:10:28
our logo was a Playboy bunny smoking a
01:10:31
cigar right you know you know something
01:10:33
just I'm I'm pinching my nose as we
01:10:36
talked about bringing back memories
01:10:38
I'm just like hey yeah but that was just
01:10:42
a type that was the time am I proud of
01:10:45
that time in my life
01:10:46
um no not really would I change it no it
01:10:49
gave me legitimate experiences you know
01:10:53
you can't you know other people would
01:10:56
read about the [ __ ] in the book and then
01:10:58
speak like experts you've got to live it
01:11:01
man yeah I suppose all these all these
01:11:03
experiences brought you to where you are
01:11:05
in the manual so that's right um so so
01:11:08
through this travel agency you ended up
01:11:10
um
01:11:11
we were you're in a hotel somewhere like
01:11:13
Hong Kong or something yeah Hong Kong
01:11:15
hotel so what happened was I had it in
01:11:18
2007 yeah uh
01:11:22
um I had a massive stroke I was over
01:11:25
Melbourne Melbourne I was playing in the
01:11:27
Aussie Millions poker tournament ten
01:11:29
thousand five hundred dollar entry fee I
01:11:32
was taking a [ __ ] uh I had a massive
01:11:35
stroke and my mate Saved My Life
01:11:38
um I had locked in syndrome so I was a
01:11:40
complete [ __ ] dribbler
01:11:42
um on the street how long not that long
01:11:44
maybe eight hours but it was a lifetime
01:11:46
terrifying yeah so
01:11:49
um
01:11:50
I have locked in syndrome I can hear
01:11:52
everything I can understand whatever I'm
01:11:54
saying I can converse in my head
01:11:57
but the only thing coming out of my
01:11:59
mouth was dribble Mars my face had
01:12:01
dropped the whole the whole nine yards
01:12:04
and so
01:12:05
um I have the stroke I go to the
01:12:07
hospital I hear the doctor saying you
01:12:09
know like Hey where's his wife my mate
01:12:12
said she's on her way good uh she said
01:12:15
she said she'll be here this afternoon
01:12:16
he goes too late you've got four hours
01:12:17
to get the thrombolising drug and and
01:12:21
um and my mate said I'll give you
01:12:22
permission he goes no because if we give
01:12:24
him he could die so either he gives us
01:12:27
permission or his wife gives us
01:12:28
permission so you could you couldn't
01:12:30
even give the thumbs up or anything oh
01:12:31
my head I'm going to give me the [ __ ]
01:12:33
yeah give me the drug give me the drug
01:12:34
so um my mate grabbed my head and
01:12:37
started yelling with the Mad Butcher you
01:12:39
know like come on mate come on mate and
01:12:42
it reaches this and his breath stunk
01:12:44
I'll never forget that like you know he
01:12:47
hadn't brushed his seat he hadn't done
01:12:48
anything you know like and his brain
01:12:50
[ __ ] Richie your breath stinks
01:12:53
and he got me out it took me half an
01:12:56
hour to actually formulate words and the
01:12:59
first sentence out of my hair out of my
01:13:01
mouth was give me the drug and the guy
01:13:04
went give me the [ __ ] drug you know I
01:13:06
tried to get up off the table to show
01:13:07
him that I was no no say there you've
01:13:09
got the drug you've got the drug but we
01:13:11
need to do a CAT scan first they put me
01:13:13
in the machine and I had another stroke
01:13:15
in the machine now that was terrifying
01:13:17
it's like you're nearly drowning you're
01:13:19
about to be pulled into the boat and
01:13:20
someone goes nah and pushes you back
01:13:22
under the water what does the stroke
01:13:23
feel like uh it feels like for me it's
01:13:26
different for people some people have
01:13:27
pain but for me it was like you know
01:13:29
when you stand up too quick and then you
01:13:31
get that whoa
01:13:33
and you're in a permanent state of whoa
01:13:36
and you're waiting for it to clear and
01:13:38
it just doesn't yeah and you just sit in
01:13:40
there and say you're living in this kind
01:13:42
of echoey world I can hear everyone
01:13:44
again and the nurse has been talking to
01:13:46
me and I'd been talking back to her and
01:13:48
then she pulled me out and said oh I
01:13:50
wondered where you've gone you'd had
01:13:52
another so you've had another stroke and
01:13:54
they took me into the other Roman that I
01:13:56
said well we can't give him the drug and
01:13:57
my mate looked at the doctor and went he
01:13:59
gave you [ __ ] permission I was here
01:14:02
he go all right I'll [ __ ] give him
01:14:04
the drugs so he gave me the drug and and
01:14:06
I came out of it so it gets as close to
01:14:08
death as anyone would want to get uh uh
01:14:10
what was terrifying wasn't the thought
01:14:12
of death
01:14:14
what was terrifying when I was lying
01:14:16
there in the second stroke it was like
01:14:19
someone's gonna have to wipe my ass for
01:14:21
the rest of my life someone is going to
01:14:23
have to [ __ ] spoon feed me baby food
01:14:27
for the rest of my life so when I came
01:14:30
out of the stroke for the second time
01:14:35
um I grabbed my mate's shirt I've pulled
01:14:37
him down and I said if I go back pillow
01:14:40
me and it was all a favor and he would
01:14:43
have done I've done that before here's
01:14:44
the thing I got home six weeks you know
01:14:47
six weeks later I invite Richie and his
01:14:49
wife up and my mind's still a blue you
01:14:52
know
01:14:53
and I pull them out to the garage and I
01:14:57
didn't know if I'd said it or not and I
01:15:00
said to Rich
01:15:01
in the garage having a beer and I said
01:15:02
did I say anything to you when I was in
01:15:05
Melbourne again
01:15:06
no no oh why because I just thought I'd
01:15:11
said something obviously I just imagined
01:15:13
it hey oh yeah no no okay I never said
01:15:16
anything yes what hello me
01:15:21
what I did say it is yeah yeah and I go
01:15:24
would you yeah well we'll never know
01:15:26
will we I was like you know
01:15:29
I was like but and then I spent the next
01:15:31
two years in a fog but I vowed to give
01:15:33
up I vowed to give up drugs you know and
01:15:36
I was committed two days out of hospital
01:15:38
with my with my poker mates you know
01:15:41
coming to the toilets before we've got a
01:15:43
line for you I've just had a [ __ ]
01:15:45
stroke man you know I'm not gonna have
01:15:47
that and I was just chilling uh then I
01:15:49
got home and I had a block of Coke in
01:15:52
the house I called Titanic it was
01:15:54
[ __ ] like a nice fish
01:15:57
it was [ __ ] and it was pure and
01:16:01
um I could hear it calling me as I'm you
01:16:03
know driving home I'm not supposed to
01:16:04
drive home yeah uh drive down the
01:16:07
driveway and I started chopping up and
01:16:10
um it's remarkable you think like like a
01:16:12
near-death experience like that that'd
01:16:14
be enough to ski you're straight no
01:16:16
that's what that's the hold it had on me
01:16:18
so I get uh so so then I was at one
01:16:22
Titanic ran out I was able to give up I
01:16:25
was able to give up how many grams was
01:16:26
Titanic
01:16:29
have been close to an ounce right how
01:16:33
many grams are in an ounce
01:16:38
so this is so like 10 grand worth yeah
01:16:41
easy I can you know and not chopped
01:16:44
either so it was like you know they
01:16:46
started chopping it all up when we got
01:16:48
baked Titanic was amazing
01:16:52
yeah so um so anyway
01:16:54
um
01:16:55
I gave up for three weeks and then I had
01:16:58
a tour to the Hong Kong seven so I'd
01:17:00
given up drinking cigarettes and um and
01:17:04
the thing and I was on the straight and
01:17:05
narrow and my voice of reason go yeah
01:17:07
Mikey we've got this we've got this and
01:17:10
the inner critic was yelling but nah the
01:17:12
voice of reason and so I get over to
01:17:14
what's the name there's lots of alcohol
01:17:16
you know I I'm on a travel King tour so
01:17:20
we've got a whole lot of expectant
01:17:21
people like get everyone sorted out of
01:17:23
Sichuan and I refuse to go to the game I
01:17:26
can't go to the game because I'll start
01:17:28
so I'm in one chai which is the you know
01:17:31
the the big party place
01:17:34
um and I'm in one chai and I'm just
01:17:36
aimlessly wandering around and a moldy
01:17:39
Boy comes walking down the street
01:17:41
hey Mikey what are you doing and I'm
01:17:44
like oh man I'm just wandering around
01:17:45
got a team here you're not going to
01:17:47
understand now I'm bored with footy he
01:17:50
goes let's go have a beer bro and I'm
01:17:52
like man I just gave up and he said
01:17:54
these words I'll never forget it
01:17:56
you've given up a New Zealand viral
01:18:00
and uh
01:18:02
you're right straight in I'll have a
01:18:07
Hospital one of those [ __ ] cigarette
01:18:10
puffing away puffing away and then I'm
01:18:12
straight into my deal I go hey hey how
01:18:15
are you how do you how do you have a
01:18:17
dealer did you just have a dealer in
01:18:18
every country right right and Hong Kong
01:18:21
sounds like a dangerous place to be
01:18:23
doing Class A gear no it's very safe
01:18:26
yeah you know it's in terms of the
01:18:28
penalty if you get caught or yeah but
01:18:30
you know the people you buy off are
01:18:32
basically buying the police officer
01:18:34
right okay you know so I get him and I
01:18:37
get half an ounce of coke because I've
01:18:39
been waiting for a call what's been
01:18:40
happening just just [ __ ] drop me the
01:18:43
gear would you and then I went back to
01:18:45
my hotel and then I started snorting and
01:18:47
then I got really [ __ ] angry with
01:18:50
myself
01:18:53
and I just started snorting and then I
01:18:56
you know I just wanted to die and I
01:19:00
didn't want to hang myself or OD on
01:19:02
anything else because that would affect
01:19:04
my family but in my head it made sense
01:19:07
that my king Rock and roller went out
01:19:09
oding on on coke yeah it's like a
01:19:12
revolution way to go out isn't it so I
01:19:14
just
01:19:15
wanted everything that I could and
01:19:17
passed out on the floor
01:19:19
so in a way it was a like it was it was
01:19:22
kind of a suicide that was a suicide
01:19:24
that I wanted to die right that was my
01:19:26
plan I was just gonna die you know I've
01:19:28
just snort enough Coke to kill me you
01:19:32
know and you know half an ounce is a
01:19:34
pretty good job you know you you
01:19:36
more than enough to die yeah
01:19:38
um and I passed out and when I was
01:19:40
passed out my then eight-year-old
01:19:42
daughter magically appeared sitting on
01:19:45
my chest going what are you doing Dad
01:19:46
why are you doing this we need you at
01:19:48
home you shouldn't be doing this it was
01:19:49
like she was [ __ ] right there and I
01:19:53
woke up
01:19:55
and I went
01:19:57
I went [ __ ] I flushed what I had left of
01:19:59
the cocaine down the toilet uh rang in
01:20:03
New Zealand booked a flight back home
01:20:05
and got off the plane I fell out of the
01:20:08
plane on April 1st
01:20:10
2007 and haven't picked up since wow
01:20:13
yeah just so I gave up drugs alcohol and
01:20:17
cigarettes on the same day and just gone
01:20:19
through 15 years your life's been
01:20:21
miserable ever since
01:20:23
people used to say to me in those years
01:20:25
coming back and they go you know
01:20:27
you look great you look great on the
01:20:30
outside I feel like [ __ ] on the inside
01:20:32
when I was with the Coco look [ __ ]
01:20:34
[ __ ] on the outside but I felt [ __ ]
01:20:36
great on the inside but it's been a
01:20:38
journey it's been really really really
01:20:40
hard you know I suppose now you know I
01:20:44
I'm a guy
01:20:46
that protects myself
01:20:49
so when I was doing comedy everyone is
01:20:51
you treat your wife like a fish wife no
01:20:54
I'm protecting myself you know
01:20:58
um if I sleep with one woman I've got to
01:21:00
sleep with a thousand so I made it very
01:21:03
clear in my comedy that I was married
01:21:05
because I didn't want to fall into that
01:21:08
trap right so when I what do you mean in
01:21:10
terms of your addictive personality yeah
01:21:12
yeah yeah yeah so it was a protection so
01:21:15
I'd be sitting in in bars with a woman
01:21:17
as people come up and go that's not your
01:21:19
wife who's this it's actually my
01:21:21
sister-in-law here's my wife Coming oh
01:21:23
sorry Mark I did you know so it was
01:21:25
designed to keep me safe uh and so then
01:21:31
coming out about my drug addiction was
01:21:33
the next logical step it was always
01:21:36
designed to keep me safe yeah I had no
01:21:39
plan it was just like if you're gonna do
01:21:41
this this is what we're going to do and
01:21:44
then I had a whole lot of people
01:21:45
watching for me if I went to the toilet
01:21:47
people would magically appear just so
01:21:49
you're coming in for a chill fight hey
01:21:55
you know so have you been offered it
01:21:57
since oh heaps yeah and and come on bro
01:22:01
it's just that's me just us
01:22:09
it never goes right I always thought Dom
01:22:12
that I could go back
01:22:14
and uh have a beer you know and Last
01:22:18
Christmas I discovered Heineken zero
01:22:22
I knocked off that first box in about 20
01:22:25
minutes
01:22:26
seriously and then the next day was
01:22:29
another box and the next day was another
01:22:31
box yeah yeah you know my wife went but
01:22:33
yeah you'd be why Heineken zero like it
01:22:35
tastes the same as normal Heineken but
01:22:37
you're not getting any any kick out of
01:22:39
it yes
01:22:40
reminder like the first time I drank the
01:22:43
box I got so drunk my wife said you know
01:22:45
you're getting louder no I'm not no I'm
01:22:47
not I've got a [ __ ] bow drunk you
01:22:50
know because I hadn't and it was uh you
01:22:52
know in the end after a few days my wife
01:22:54
said you can't do this you know like
01:22:56
look at you you just like our nuts on
01:22:59
this [ __ ] so we had a rule
01:23:01
for every hour of yard work that I did
01:23:05
um I was allowed a beer so that's when I
01:23:07
started gardening 24 hours
01:23:11
laughs
01:23:15
it's two in the morning
01:23:20
now so I've just you know I've just you
01:23:23
know I've given it up again but it was a
01:23:26
happy reminder like you know the thing
01:23:28
that I miss the most out of everything
01:23:29
cigarettes say sorry I love soups like I
01:23:33
love the smell of cigarettes well if you
01:23:35
I hate the smell is no [ __ ] you I love
01:23:38
it you know like people get in my car
01:23:40
you don't smoke a [ __ ] light up blow
01:23:42
that [ __ ] on me I love that [ __ ] you
01:23:45
know
01:23:46
okay so yeah I've got an addictive
01:23:49
personality yeah and what was um was it
01:23:51
hard going off all that stuff and
01:23:52
particularly the alcohol and and the
01:23:54
Coke and the weed and then here just
01:23:55
having to like um I know I suppose you
01:23:58
feel particularly vulnerable at that
01:23:59
point like there's no you're not taking
01:24:01
anything to mask your emotions and I'm
01:24:04
not going like my mate said go to AAA go
01:24:07
to n a go to all these but what you want
01:24:09
me to give [ __ ] addicted to a god of
01:24:11
my choice that's not for me you know
01:24:13
just not for me
01:24:16
I'm from the school of whatever works
01:24:18
but I'm I'm pig-headed and then one day
01:24:21
I discovered something I've I'm an
01:24:23
addict on so why don't you use my
01:24:26
addictive personality for good so I got
01:24:28
addicted to being clean and sober yeah I
01:24:30
addicted so I counted I counted days how
01:24:33
are you Mike 833 dude I'm [ __ ]
01:24:36
awesome well I've been 833 so I would
01:24:39
just count days count days count days
01:24:41
for 10 years I counted yes I was gonna
01:24:44
ask if you still do it now you must be
01:24:45
like five whatever thousand I have no
01:24:48
clue where I'm at no I just don't I just
01:24:50
don't bother but that's what I needed to
01:24:53
do to get me through I got addicted to
01:24:56
use my addictive personality for good so
01:24:59
um yes it was around this time like
01:25:01
200789 whatever that you you came out
01:25:04
publicly and said you suffered
01:25:05
Depression was um was that a bit cool
01:25:07
why did you decide to do that
01:25:10
um again you know like well it happened
01:25:12
accidentally really uh so I'm
01:25:15
I'm at home I'm depressed I'm not going
01:25:18
anywhere Willie Jackson's worrying about
01:25:20
me right he's on radio yeah he's on
01:25:22
radio live and he's worrying about me
01:25:24
you need to go everywhere [ __ ] you I
01:25:25
don't need to go back to work I'm fine
01:25:27
you need to get [ __ ] you you get out of
01:25:29
the house I'm not getting out of the
01:25:30
house and he goes um so he goes um
01:25:33
Martin crumbs going off for a week I
01:25:36
want to get you that job you're going to
01:25:38
come in and do I want to do the [ __ ]
01:25:40
radio you know you need to get out well
01:25:42
good mate so I went into radio live and
01:25:45
I had 176 746 75 radio live I'm my king
01:25:50
you know I started reading out the
01:25:52
headlines oh you know today
01:25:54
if you've got a dad I'm just racing
01:25:58
going up point two percent if you're
01:25:59
going to struggle with the interest rate
01:26:00
give us a call but everyone had done
01:26:01
these topics all day right yeah and then
01:26:03
they come back and I look at the board
01:26:05
no calls hey there's a piece of paper
01:26:08
lying down the street if you have people
01:26:09
around you give us a call
01:26:12
radio live
01:26:15
another brakes and uh 20 past 10 20 past
01:26:19
25 past 10 at night yeah yeah
01:26:23
producer goes uh we only have right no
01:26:25
more breaks
01:26:27
and then my inner critics started you
01:26:30
know just start swearing just start
01:26:31
swearing he starts throwing people will
01:26:32
go don't just tell the truth tell the
01:26:34
truth tell them there's no one there so
01:26:35
I had this big [ __ ] war going on in
01:26:37
my head and it was dead out
01:26:39
dead air for 30 seconds and I'm just
01:26:41
closing my eyes and then I went [ __ ] it
01:26:44
just tell the truth and I just told her
01:26:46
I said Hey Ron
01:26:47
uh there are no calls there have been no
01:26:51
calls I've been lying to you for the
01:26:53
last 20 minutes uh and if no one calls
01:26:55
in the next five seconds I'm going to
01:26:57
start talking to the voices in my head
01:26:58
then I close my eyes and I started
01:27:01
talking you know the reason no one's
01:27:02
calling is because no one likes you oh
01:27:04
people like you they're probably eating
01:27:06
dinner eating dinner it's 25 a night no
01:27:08
one eats dinner at 25 saying at night
01:27:10
he's just a loser you know why do you
01:27:12
always call Michael illusion why do you
01:27:13
always call him Michael on this stream
01:27:14
of unconscious thought came out of my
01:27:16
mouth and then my producer went you
01:27:18
better take the course and I had a full
01:27:20
board and the first fellow I talked to
01:27:22
was a fellow a multiple called rangi I
01:27:24
knew his Maori because his name was
01:27:26
ringy
01:27:28
the first thing the first thing he said
01:27:30
to me was
01:27:33
I have those voices too and as soon as
01:27:37
he said that I just felt a connection so
01:27:40
me and rangi we had a conversation all
01:27:43
eight of us and we were just
01:27:45
talking and then the next call and then
01:27:48
the next four and then I had a 12 year
01:27:50
old girl calling and she was like this
01:27:54
is she was crying she goes this is never
01:27:56
like I've been having mental health
01:27:57
issues and what you're describing is
01:28:00
exactly what it is and Caitlyn was her
01:28:02
name and by the Cadence whole family
01:28:04
after the studio the next night and they
01:28:06
all came up you know all of these people
01:28:08
who were just connected yeah you know
01:28:10
and they must have felt so good yeah
01:28:13
well then the next day I went out we
01:28:14
have full border so the next day I go in
01:28:16
and I say we can talk about all this
01:28:18
[ __ ] or we can talk about what we were
01:28:19
talking about last time full Board of
01:28:21
calls full Board of course and then by
01:28:24
the end of the week we were The Nutters
01:28:26
Club you know hey this is another club
01:28:27
it's still going you're not involved
01:28:29
with it anymore but it's still going to
01:28:30
this day yeah
01:28:31
be with Hamish and
01:28:34
um and Kyle
01:28:35
um I just like I couldn't do it anymore
01:28:38
physically I couldn't do it eleven to
01:28:41
one I'm in the schools on Monday morning
01:28:44
and I'm up at five so I get to bed at 3
01:28:47
three I've got two hours sleep Monday's
01:28:50
easy on year three Tuesdays killed me it
01:28:53
was like the morning after the morning
01:28:55
after the night before yeah
01:28:57
and in the end I just had to make a call
01:28:59
yeah
01:29:00
and my focus wasn't on everyone's mental
01:29:03
well-being by that stage it was on kids
01:29:05
and so
01:29:07
I spent the next five years researching
01:29:10
and listening when I first thought I was
01:29:13
like everyone I wanted to go in and I
01:29:16
thought I had all the answers and I was
01:29:18
going to do this and I was going to do
01:29:19
that and I was going to do this and then
01:29:21
after speaking in the first few schools
01:29:23
I realized I didn't know what the
01:29:24
problem was yeah so I lost board members
01:29:26
because they were like we need to
01:29:27
reproduce my Kings we need to get my
01:29:29
Kings out there and I'm like just
01:29:32
slow down I don't know what the problem
01:29:34
is you know once we discover what the
01:29:37
problem is then we can set about our
01:29:39
task in Earnest and it took me five or
01:29:41
six years to understand that the biggest
01:29:43
problem we've got is imposter syndrome
01:29:45
and overactive and a Critic uh and now
01:29:48
it's so obvious yet we've got all of
01:29:51
these agencies that that won't even
01:29:53
listen they don't even believe it no
01:29:55
that's not the biggest problem is
01:29:57
depression it's anxiety no these are the
01:29:59
outcomes of an overactive inner critic
01:30:02
you [ __ ] [ __ ] you know if
01:30:07
you know we're always focusing on
01:30:09
Behavior we're never asked what drives
01:30:11
the behavior you know Eating Disorders
01:30:13
are the biggest problem facing young
01:30:15
people today yet when you go to the
01:30:17
eating disorder clinic they make it
01:30:19
about the food my daughter's got an
01:30:21
eating disorder and we go to the eating
01:30:23
disorder clinic and you know right we're
01:30:25
all going to have a shared lunch today
01:30:27
so your lovely daughter can see what
01:30:29
it's like to eat
01:30:31
um you know and and every time she says
01:30:34
something that's not her speaking that's
01:30:37
Anna that's Anna speaking I'm like what
01:30:40
the [ __ ] oh anorexic yeah right and then
01:30:42
one day my daughter said after four
01:30:44
sessions she goes you know my problem's
01:30:46
not food eh food's not my problem the
01:30:50
problem if it wasn't food it'd be
01:30:52
alcohol it would be drugs it would be
01:30:54
boys it would be the gym I want to know
01:30:58
why my brain is making it about the food
01:31:01
and that was the last session we had the
01:31:04
right but we focus on Behavior yeah like
01:31:07
we do it with everything drug dealers
01:31:08
you know drugs throw all the dealers in
01:31:10
jail let's ask a serious question why
01:31:13
are there so many people today that need
01:31:16
to be on drugs that what are the drugs
01:31:18
doing and then 90 of the cases brother
01:31:20
it's shutting their [ __ ] self-doubt
01:31:23
up yeah you know it's always alcohol you
01:31:26
know same thing it gives you a break
01:31:28
from a temporary release yeah you're
01:31:30
escaping it's the Relentless pursuit of
01:31:32
temporary happiness you know and the
01:31:35
irony is people say to me like my
01:31:37
friends you know what's it like being an
01:31:39
addict you tell me I'm not an addict
01:31:40
dude you go to the gym seven days a week
01:31:43
you miss a day you turn into an [ __ ]
01:31:45
you know uh you know oh bro what's it
01:31:49
like hiding things with misses you tell
01:31:50
me I don't know how it thinks dude you
01:31:52
play golf three times a week you Misses
01:31:54
thinks you play once a fortnight you're
01:31:56
[ __ ] lying you know so the the the
01:31:58
thing that most men are addicted to more
01:32:01
than anything else is work you know I
01:32:04
fire money at the problem I've got
01:32:06
troubles at home I've got [ __ ]
01:32:07
troubles with self-esteem and to cover
01:32:09
it all up I [ __ ] throw money at it
01:32:11
yeah
01:32:12
so when was I am hoping when did that
01:32:14
come about
01:32:15
um that was just an accident really I
01:32:17
was working with some suicidal kids and
01:32:19
I was talking to them saying how can we
01:32:21
never talk because we don't know who's
01:32:23
safe
01:32:24
what does that mean we don't know who's
01:32:26
going to judge me I don't know who's
01:32:27
going to gossip around me I don't know
01:32:28
you know like I don't know who's safe
01:32:30
you know I don't want to be ridiculed I
01:32:33
don't want to be appointed that I said
01:32:36
so you know we need to do something
01:32:37
about that why don't we come up with
01:32:39
something that signals I am safe and
01:32:42
they came up with a wristband that says
01:32:44
I am hope if you're you know if you're
01:32:47
wearing The Wristband what you're saying
01:32:49
to people is I won't judge you I won't
01:32:51
[ __ ] gossip about you uh I'll be
01:32:54
there for you most importantly I won't
01:32:55
try and fix you I'm not qualified to fix
01:32:57
you I won't take on your problem I'm not
01:32:59
qualified but I'm here to listen and if
01:33:01
you need help I'll go with you yeah but
01:33:03
if you need to offload [ __ ] I will sit
01:33:06
here and listen I will call time on the
01:33:08
conversation if I need to yeah but but
01:33:11
I'm feeling you you know and I have
01:33:13
experiences that you know similarities
01:33:16
so um I am Hope was was born and you
01:33:20
know and it just took off I couldn't
01:33:22
believe like in a big way yeah I just
01:33:24
had no idea that it was going to take
01:33:26
off and you know it's around the kids
01:33:29
and so people so when we were doing our
01:33:32
I am hope talks
01:33:34
um the biggest thing that happened so we
01:33:35
talk about our experiences and we would
01:33:37
encourage counseling uh why because my
01:33:41
counselor saved my life
01:33:43
and I was saying to the kids look
01:33:46
ignore what the counselor looks like
01:33:48
it's someone that's not from your circle
01:33:50
it's someone that doesn't have your
01:33:52
background go to this independent person
01:33:55
I've shared my experience so we made
01:33:57
counseling cool problem was some schools
01:34:01
didn't have councils and in some schools
01:34:03
the the counselor there was related to
01:34:07
mum in some way or as a teacher and they
01:34:09
didn't feel like they could talk so
01:34:11
they'd contact me and I'd say just go
01:34:13
and see someone private I'll find
01:34:15
someone private and I will pay for it by
01:34:18
2018
01:34:20
those private sessions which we we
01:34:23
didn't advertise we're running at about
01:34:24
ten thousand dollars a month so we're
01:34:27
paying about ten thousand dollars a
01:34:29
month for private sessions yeah and then
01:34:31
someone came up with a Gumboot Friday
01:34:33
idea you know having depressions like
01:34:35
walking through mud most people are
01:34:37
hiding it why don't we all put on gum
01:34:39
boots so people who have depression can
01:34:40
see people in gumboots and know that
01:34:42
these are people that care and we can
01:34:44
raise money for them and I said they can
01:34:47
we can raise money for your charity and
01:34:50
straight away I went
01:34:52
why don't we raise money for free
01:34:54
counseling but unlike other charities
01:34:57
why don't we donate 100 of the funds to
01:35:01
counseling so I set up a bank account
01:35:03
with kiwibank and the other way can come
01:35:05
out was with an invoice from
01:35:08
um from a counselor and we will cover
01:35:10
the um the admin I'm already paying a
01:35:13
hundred and twenty thousand dollars a
01:35:15
year in free counseling that should be
01:35:17
more than enough to to cover the yearly
01:35:21
rate of what's the name sir of the admin
01:35:24
so that's that's what we do you know
01:35:26
unfortunately now there's you know it's
01:35:28
it runs at about 10 percent the admin so
01:35:31
you know we've only got enough to cover
01:35:33
1.2 but I just worked my ass off going
01:35:36
around to corporates and going around to
01:35:38
well-meaning people and asking them to
01:35:40
help me with the admin and and the admin
01:35:43
none of it comes to us we Outsource the
01:35:45
admin we Outsource this to it and 100 of
01:35:48
that money goes to them we don't clip
01:35:50
the ticket yeah you know it's you know
01:35:52
it's for me my big thing with people who
01:35:55
are collecting money for charity is
01:35:57
always how much of my ten dollars is
01:35:58
going to you yeah yeah yeah that was a
01:36:00
very thirsty Charities and I always ask
01:36:03
the kids so do you you know do you get
01:36:04
you volunteering for this oh no we get
01:36:06
minimum wage so you're being paid to do
01:36:09
this so some of this money is going to
01:36:11
you no offense but I'm not I'm oh you
01:36:14
know yeah and I got my own charity you
01:36:16
know so I just wanted to do something
01:36:18
that you know our kids could you know
01:36:21
use and why counseling this way because
01:36:24
in order for a kid to get free
01:36:25
counseling in this country through the
01:36:27
Ministry of Health you have to go to the
01:36:29
doctor the doctor has to diagnose you
01:36:31
mentally ill that stigma follows you
01:36:33
because it's on your records for the
01:36:35
rest of your life then you oh yeah it
01:36:37
makes it hard to get insurance and all
01:36:39
sorts of things oh and you're all gone
01:36:41
then next thing you you know you're also
01:36:43
on a long waiting list and then yeah you
01:36:45
know uh by the end of getting in to see
01:36:47
someone you know they're often burnt out
01:36:50
and they don't have time so this way
01:36:52
here is you know of
01:36:54
this way here is getting early so the
01:36:57
governments see the Ministry of Health
01:37:00
counseling as a crisis situation
01:37:04
we see it as a preventative situation so
01:37:07
you go into your Council when you're in
01:37:08
crisis too late when you're in [ __ ]
01:37:11
crisis yeah yeah and now you need the
01:37:13
hospital our whole thing is if you see a
01:37:16
counselor about a little problem that
01:37:18
doesn't come to be a big problem and
01:37:20
they just help unscramble thoughts they
01:37:22
don't fix you they help you unscramble
01:37:24
your thoughts they Empower you to fix a
01:37:26
different way of looking at things so
01:37:28
young people don't want to see
01:37:29
counselors because they're mentally ill
01:37:31
they go and see counselors to stay well
01:37:33
I had a um a government a Minister's um
01:37:38
uh a Minister's aide you know his the
01:37:41
guy that gives them all his ideas ring
01:37:43
me up and say
01:37:45
um
01:37:46
you can be Friday will never be funded
01:37:48
why not because anyone can use it what
01:37:50
do you mean you don't even have to be
01:37:52
mentally ill to use it okay you're a
01:37:55
[ __ ] idiot what do you mean so you're
01:37:58
saying that someone has to be mentally
01:38:00
ill to see a [ __ ] counselor that's
01:38:02
like saying to someone why are you going
01:38:04
to a doctor you haven't had a heart
01:38:05
attack yeah why are you at the hospital
01:38:07
why are you at the gym you haven't had a
01:38:09
heart attack I said kids don't want to
01:38:12
see it comes because they're mentally
01:38:13
ill they go to stay well you [ __ ]
01:38:15
yeah
01:38:17
it's such a broken sister so what they
01:38:20
do is they fund bricks and mortar right
01:38:22
it's like they set up a taxi company
01:38:24
you've got to have an office she would
01:38:26
have the admin you've got to have
01:38:27
lawyers you've got to have contractors
01:38:29
then you've got to buy the taxis and the
01:38:31
drivers of the councilors but in order
01:38:33
to see the council you've got to go to
01:38:35
the taxi Rank and you don't get a choice
01:38:37
of what driver you want you've got to
01:38:38
take the first cab off the rank and this
01:38:40
is under their access and choice so with
01:38:43
that it's between 350 and 2000 dollars
01:38:46
right and this is under access and
01:38:48
choice where there's limited access and
01:38:50
there's no choice under our system or
01:38:54
what have we done we invented Uber
01:38:56
that's all we did yeah that's you carry
01:38:59
the costs in the car you carry the cost
01:39:01
of the account you just charge us what
01:39:03
you charge us up front with all of those
01:39:06
things built in and the average cost is
01:39:08
147 man you've got so much passion and
01:39:12
so much energy for this I can I can
01:39:14
almost see the rage do you um
01:39:17
that I mean how do you how do you keep
01:39:19
your own mental health in check because
01:39:21
it's like you might I worry about you
01:39:23
and I worry about jazz Thornton a little
01:39:24
bit from uh Voices of Hope because it's
01:39:26
like you you take a lot on you take on a
01:39:28
lot of other people's problems no I
01:39:30
don't
01:39:31
know what people share their problems
01:39:34
whether that's got to bring you no it
01:39:36
doesn't you know you want to know why
01:39:39
my job is not to take on other people's
01:39:41
problems my job is not to I'm I pathway
01:39:44
people so our current system deals with
01:39:47
individuals
01:39:49
I'm looking at the big picture
01:39:52
so our focus is this positive societal
01:39:57
attitudinal change remember this eighty
01:40:01
percent of people in crisis never ask
01:40:05
for help because they're worried about
01:40:06
what Society thinks
01:40:08
says or does so until we change
01:40:13
society's attitude you can have the best
01:40:15
mental health system in the world you
01:40:17
can throw a billion dollars a day at it
01:40:20
but if people aren't buying into it
01:40:23
you're wasting your [ __ ] time so
01:40:26
attitudes have to change so I will
01:40:29
listen to your problem I don't take it
01:40:32
personally I will listen to your the the
01:40:34
the tale of your son being refused to
01:40:38
help it at a hospital and then going
01:40:41
back an hour late and being trespassed
01:40:43
off the premises to him dying seven
01:40:46
hours later I will listen to that I will
01:40:49
I will be enraged by that and I use that
01:40:54
as my motivation going forward okay so
01:40:57
it's always about see jazz is a bit
01:41:00
different she you know she's
01:41:02
she takes everything I don't take
01:41:05
everything on my my is that a maturity
01:41:08
thing do you think well so I've just
01:41:10
looked at where I can be most effective
01:41:13
yeah you know and like I can save
01:41:16
individuals and I don't buy into that
01:41:18
argument if we save one life it's all
01:41:20
worth it you know so you know
01:41:25
yes you get so wound up talking about it
01:41:28
I can tell yeah I'm passionate yeah yeah
01:41:33
so we have dhbs referring
01:41:36
people to Gumboot Friday we cope with
01:41:39
their overload and people say to me
01:41:44
say something tell them they can't do it
01:41:47
like why it's not about them it's about
01:41:49
the [ __ ] kids you know my you know my
01:41:54
saying is they are all our children yeah
01:41:56
when you have been to every decile of
01:41:59
school in the country you will know that
01:42:02
in the elite private schools of this
01:42:04
country they have equally as many kids
01:42:07
who are [ __ ] struggling with mental
01:42:09
health issues and in some cases more
01:42:12
than poorer areas you know I don't care
01:42:16
if you're a redneck piece of [ __ ] that
01:42:19
hates moldy and hates me I love your
01:42:21
child and I will I will crawl over
01:42:25
broken glass to get your child the care
01:42:28
that they need and you've got to have
01:42:31
that you've got to have that attitude
01:42:33
that everyone is equal in men's or
01:42:37
health God you've done some good work eh
01:42:39
you just just you sleep well at night
01:42:41
these days I never sleep bro yeah I you
01:42:44
just have a good night's sleep you
01:42:46
should be I wake up every two hours my
01:42:48
windows 62 Dom Windows 62 does not stop
01:42:53
it does not stop it is always always
01:42:57
working there are always things that I
01:43:00
have to write down there are always
01:43:02
things that you know look
01:43:05
I've got 10 years left if I'm lucky oh
01:43:08
come on how how can you say that well
01:43:10
I've I've had I've had a major stroke
01:43:12
I've got one one artery work into my
01:43:14
brain at the moment I've had two two
01:43:17
heart um not surgeries but heart [ __ ]
01:43:20
things High passive no no no no um yeah
01:43:24
no they have you know when you're awake
01:43:25
they put [ __ ] through your heart so I've
01:43:28
had two of them you've got no vices now
01:43:29
you're a healthy dog that doesn't matter
01:43:31
you know I smoke for most of my life
01:43:33
I've put
01:43:35
huge mountains of coke up my nose and I
01:43:38
smoked weed from 13 years old right up
01:43:41
till I was 45 every day you know I was a
01:43:44
when I left smoking I was a 40 smoker a
01:43:47
day so I'm a realist you know if the big
01:43:51
man came out of the sky today and said
01:43:53
I'll give you 15 years or take you I'll
01:43:55
take the 15.
01:44:00
I know you're now 16. so I'm 60. I've
01:44:02
got 10 years left I'm going to make them
01:44:05
count yeah you know I I I [ __ ] around
01:44:08
enough
01:44:09
I you know I I made you know I spent
01:44:13
most of my life making everything about
01:44:15
me
01:44:17
I you know I look at this younger
01:44:19
generation and they they they need a
01:44:22
soldier
01:44:24
you know they need someone out front
01:44:26
kicking down doors and warding off all
01:44:29
of the people who tell you why you can't
01:44:32
do so they need someone out there
01:44:34
advocating for them and I'm going to be
01:44:36
out front
01:44:38
um so they can go on and change the
01:44:41
world seriously believe yeah that they
01:44:43
can change the world they just need
01:44:45
someone to take the bullets from all the
01:44:47
old [ __ ] out there that are trying to
01:44:49
stop them and that's my job I know what
01:44:52
my purpose is I you know I know it's a
01:44:55
you know it's a it's a huge sacrifice
01:44:57
for my family you know in terms of the
01:45:00
time and effort and energy you I'm
01:45:02
always out there fighting Wars yeah you
01:45:05
know I'm I'm trying to spend more time
01:45:07
with my wife you know she deserves the
01:45:10
time uh I have unique ways of dealing
01:45:13
with that I said babe we need to spend
01:45:14
more time together and she went really I
01:45:17
said yes that's exactly what we need to
01:45:20
do
01:45:21
um I took up golf again at the beginning
01:45:23
of the year so when I bought her a set
01:45:25
of golf clubs and we go out to the
01:45:27
driving range she's learning of getting
01:45:29
her lessons and we're going to go out
01:45:31
and play golf whenever we can cool you
01:45:33
know and I just want to you know I want
01:45:36
to give her some quality time
01:45:39
but she knows
01:45:41
that were on a bus
01:45:43
that's going really [ __ ] fast and I'm
01:45:47
not getting off the bus so get on the
01:45:49
bus and come with me for the ride and
01:45:51
you know and be with me as much as you
01:45:54
can and we'll just see where that takes
01:45:55
us like what a what a positive bus as
01:45:57
well
01:45:58
is this what you're doing now is this
01:46:00
your legacy you reckon
01:46:02
well your legacy is what other people
01:46:04
decide yes
01:46:06
um this is what do you think when you
01:46:07
die what do you what would you like what
01:46:09
would you like to think people say about
01:46:10
you
01:46:11
I don't care
01:46:16
you know like I always say this to
01:46:19
teachers you know
01:46:23
you never you will never know the effect
01:46:25
that you have on kids you will never
01:46:28
know how many lives you change you know
01:46:31
but your family your funeral
01:46:34
when they see everybody that turns up
01:46:37
when the when the dad's standing there
01:46:39
with his five kids and he's saying this
01:46:42
lady saved my life if this lady wasn't
01:46:45
here this great person wasn't here none
01:46:49
of us would be here we owe everything to
01:46:51
that person so you know and there'll
01:46:54
always be people that turn up to your
01:46:57
funeral yeah I just turn up just to make
01:46:59
sure you're dead you know and that's
01:47:02
right but that's life yeah that's life I
01:47:04
don't know I think 20 years ago you
01:47:06
would have had a bunch of those people
01:47:06
but I feel like that that crowd has
01:47:08
diminished now oh I don't know it
01:47:10
doesn't it doesn't matter my my soul you
01:47:13
know
01:47:14
legacy's magazine [ __ ] is there an
01:47:17
absolutely
01:47:18
just because you brought up Legacy I
01:47:21
remember I went and saw
01:47:23
um
01:47:25
Willie Jackson I want to [ __ ] I want
01:47:27
to say it right and I was talking to him
01:47:29
about you know Gumboot Friday and why
01:47:32
aren't we getting funding and you know
01:47:33
here's all of our initiative why aren't
01:47:36
you I see you out there fighting for
01:47:38
tomahidi I see you out there fighting
01:47:40
for everyone you know sure like I'm I'm
01:47:43
I'm I'm not exclusively Maori families
01:47:46
but if we lift up everyone's families
01:47:48
then the the Maori families will come up
01:47:51
too currently we're focusing on Maori
01:47:53
families and those numbers are [ __ ]
01:47:54
going down so it's not working but if we
01:47:57
lift everyone up if the the care comes
01:47:59
up for white people naturally it comes
01:48:01
up so let's you know and I'm saying
01:48:03
there and he's like oh bro you know
01:48:06
and I was like you know how I feel
01:48:09
Willie and I just said this right I said
01:48:11
I [ __ ] just feel like giving back that
01:48:13
[ __ ] medal that you guys gave me and
01:48:16
he he went there goes your Knighthood
01:48:19
and he laughed and said there goes
01:48:21
United and that [ __ ] enraged me and
01:48:24
I'll just say do you think I'm here for
01:48:27
a [ __ ] Knighthood power is that what
01:48:30
you actually think I'm not here for
01:48:33
[ __ ] knighthoods and and that was the
01:48:35
day I went home and I said to my wife
01:48:36
I'm giving that [ __ ] thing so this
01:48:38
was the officer of the order of marriage
01:48:41
yeah yeah surely I mean the stepping
01:48:45
stone to a nighthood I know you're not
01:48:47
doing any of this for the accolades but
01:48:48
the um the New Zealander of the Year
01:48:50
thing in 2019 that must have meant a lot
01:48:51
yeah that was huge yeah yeah that's
01:48:54
massive because it's a people's award
01:48:56
yeah people nominate you you know the
01:48:59
the proudest uh that you know I ever got
01:49:03
and in comedy was People's Choice in
01:49:06
Metro magazine three times you know you
01:49:09
know
01:49:10
I don't give a [ __ ] what anyone else and
01:49:12
I like it's funny funny how like the
01:49:15
side of you has never changed like
01:49:16
earlier we were talking about um how you
01:49:18
sat on Andrew Shaw who was the TV
01:49:20
executive and people like oh you never
01:49:21
get on TV and you're like I don't give a
01:49:23
[ __ ] yeah you still good on TV who knows
01:49:25
you might even though you don't care
01:49:26
about it you might still get that
01:49:27
Knighthood even though no no no
01:49:29
that's burnt now okay yeah you can't you
01:49:32
can't give like you know the queen had
01:49:34
to say yes like I you know I had to get
01:49:36
a letter from the [ __ ] Queen right
01:49:38
you know and um
01:49:40
you know uh so yeah no no that's a
01:49:44
participant right
01:49:46
kids who cares man you know they they're
01:49:50
handing [ __ ] things out lollies I
01:49:52
gave her on Briley one what yeah you
01:49:55
know I don't know it's just you know a
01:49:58
lot of people deserve them you know yeah
01:50:00
yeah you do but yeah but you've done a
01:50:03
tremendous yeah I know but that's not
01:50:06
the motivation no I know so but there
01:50:08
are so many people in the game now that
01:50:11
are in it for a [ __ ] Knighthood you
01:50:13
know people are jumping in all they're
01:50:15
giving away Knighthood so like I'll yeah
01:50:17
I just look people first man people
01:50:20
first you know I I love sitting at
01:50:23
mangere Bridge and you know every day
01:50:25
people coming up to me and hugging me
01:50:27
and telling about their kids man that's
01:50:28
that's the reward right there man that's
01:50:31
the reward right there you know my team
01:50:33
I wrote a book called Tia and Mac the
01:50:36
hopeful black dog so it's about a black
01:50:38
dog
01:50:40
um and
01:50:41
the book was about bullying and you know
01:50:44
our current our current uh plan to deal
01:50:47
with bullying is let's bully the bully
01:50:50
right you know yeah whereas I now know
01:50:53
because I travel around schools a
01:50:54
bullish bully because they're being
01:50:56
bullied and you know they've got their
01:50:58
own [ __ ] going on so let's be kind let's
01:51:00
say I wrote this book and my team go
01:51:03
into primary schools and they read this
01:51:05
book to give kids a better understanding
01:51:07
of what's going on in the bully's head
01:51:08
but also helping bullies to understand
01:51:12
that what you're doing is not love
01:51:14
that's not love you know they think love
01:51:17
is you know is bullying
01:51:20
um and and
01:51:22
giving people aware and a little girl
01:51:24
went up to my Ambassador who read the
01:51:27
story and she can I talk to you and she
01:51:30
said yeah what's up darling she goes did
01:51:33
the man who wrote This Book know it was
01:51:34
going to help so many of us and that's
01:51:37
right there man
01:51:39
and better than any [ __ ] Knighthood
01:51:42
and my eight-year-old daughter when I
01:51:44
when she found out I couldn't get you
01:51:47
know I was never going to be a sir she
01:51:49
goes dad kings are higher than Sears
01:51:52
anyway
01:51:53
I like it I like it you will you ever do
01:51:57
how many stand up again do you think
01:52:00
um I feel like like you're still [ __ ]
01:52:01
funny like before when you were talking
01:52:02
about your big giant head and yeah your
01:52:05
white pubes I mean you can do different
01:52:08
stick to what you used to do
01:52:10
look I don't trust myself no seriously
01:52:13
I've done it twice
01:52:16
since I retired only twice uh one once
01:52:20
at Quentin pongi is uh after match
01:52:23
and once at the Mad Butcher now Quentin
01:52:26
pongia's after match
01:52:28
like
01:52:30
I smashed it yeah there he is
01:52:34
welcome back and I was like I I had to
01:52:38
leave yeah and the same after Mad
01:52:41
Butcher roast I had to actually leave I
01:52:43
realized how dangerous that it was in
01:52:46
terms of ego yeah and and like it's
01:52:48
addictive and if you can like if you can
01:52:51
make a room full of [ __ ] people like
01:52:55
spit their drink you know that's a rush
01:52:58
it's it's yeah it's I can't do it I just
01:53:02
can't I don't trust myself it'll be like
01:53:06
I can just have one drink I can just
01:53:08
tell one joke I can incorporate my
01:53:11
comedy and my talks which I do and
01:53:15
that's enough yeah it's it's comedy with
01:53:18
a difference
01:53:19
and um if people want to understand
01:53:22
vulnerability more
01:53:25
and I watched this woman my wife went on
01:53:27
and on about we've got to watch this
01:53:29
thing you've got to watch brene Brown
01:53:30
yeah yeah yeah and and and like
01:53:33
everything that Brandeis says I've been
01:53:36
practicing since 2007 yeah and it was
01:53:39
one of those lovely feelings where I had
01:53:41
finally had boxes to put things in the
01:53:43
other the other only other moment where
01:53:45
I've had that was when I read Malcolm
01:53:48
gladwell's The Tipping oh yeah I love
01:53:50
that box yeah I was like you know I'm a
01:53:52
maven I'm a Salesman and I'm a connector
01:53:55
you know but I had boxes you know when
01:53:58
you just do things because they feel
01:53:59
right and then suddenly the boxes it's
01:54:01
the first book I'd ever got to the end
01:54:03
of started reading again you know so
01:54:05
Renee Brown on Netflix just it is it is
01:54:09
a wonderful read you know and the story
01:54:12
I'm telling myself is such a great way
01:54:16
of you know it's talking to Partners you
01:54:20
know when when your partner's not saying
01:54:22
something here and I know there's
01:54:23
friction and you know like you're
01:54:25
getting angry because why aren't you
01:54:27
[ __ ] talking to me
01:54:29
hey babe
01:54:31
I don't know what's happening
01:54:33
I know there's something but the story
01:54:35
I'm telling myself is I did this this
01:54:39
this and this and you've learned that no
01:54:42
that's not what I'm thinking at all
01:54:44
um thing is
01:54:46
just the nice air clearer yeah you know
01:54:48
the story I'm telling myself my inner
01:54:51
critic is telling me
01:54:54
yeah I must admit I've been a late
01:54:56
entrant to the vulnerability club like
01:54:58
it's only a few years ago for me but I
01:55:00
think part of this because I went to um
01:55:02
probably a similar generation you're a
01:55:03
little bit younger than you bet I went
01:55:05
in all boys school in palmy north in any
01:55:07
Pammy boys yeah so any best [ __ ]
01:55:18
I've got a I filmed them all man I I
01:55:21
have got a folder full of Hackers from
01:55:24
around just about every school I've got
01:55:26
one of the special ones I got I forgot
01:55:28
New Zealander of the year was The
01:55:30
Crusaders gave me their hacker on their
01:55:32
field it means more than a night oh no
01:55:35
it's just just yeah it's fine to me so
01:55:38
no but uh you know we're all changing
01:55:40
but vulnerability is the new economy you
01:55:43
know and that doesn't mean we go and
01:55:44
[ __ ] just throw our dirty laundry out
01:55:46
of everything you know it's just being
01:55:49
more honest yeah when people saying you
01:55:52
know how are you today dominance you'll
01:55:53
say I'm good because it's a natural
01:55:55
thing to say you know
01:55:57
um what I say now is how you got my
01:55:59
inner critics smashing me bro you know
01:56:02
and then suddenly it's not a
01:56:03
conversation anymore it's gossip oh [ __ ]
01:56:06
what happened
01:56:08
oh I walked past on this morning and the
01:56:10
[ __ ] [ __ ] just ignored me you know
01:56:12
I must be done but you know I [ __ ]
01:56:14
Norms like and and often times when you
01:56:16
do that the other person can provide
01:56:18
context oh well you know Dom had to take
01:56:21
his dog to the [ __ ] vet today
01:56:24
[ __ ] really so now it's not about me oh
01:56:27
[ __ ] thanks bro I'm gonna go and check
01:56:28
in on Dom I didn't know about the dog
01:56:30
you know and that's that's what being
01:56:32
honest is about it's looking for ways
01:56:35
that you can be vulnerable without you
01:56:38
know without crossing the line of
01:56:41
burdening people with your
01:56:45
I think that's what I should write a
01:56:46
book on actually I used to have a
01:56:48
conversation without burdening people
01:56:49
yeah that'd be a good read yeah
01:56:55
all right I am geez we've been sitting
01:56:59
here for over two hours and we keep
01:57:01
going what what a rich life
01:57:03
yeah it's been colorful I've played
01:57:05
rugby with the All Blacks yeah last you
01:57:07
know I like until last year when I had
01:57:09
my last game of rugby at 59 the last
01:57:12
game rugby before that I was I played
01:57:14
with the All Blacks I was on the tour on
01:57:16
the Coca-Cola Convoy with him in 1995 uh
01:57:19
they ran out of reserves I ran onto the
01:57:21
wing did they pass me the ball no did I
01:57:24
touch the ball no but get [ __ ] I know
01:57:26
that there are other all blacks are the
01:57:28
same thing
01:57:29
yeah I played with the black caps I
01:57:32
[ __ ] toured hip-hop artists uh you
01:57:34
know I've been around the world I've
01:57:36
been on the same stage with Dave
01:57:37
Chappelle you know I just I've had a
01:57:41
really really blessed life and sometimes
01:57:44
when I'm down on myself I have to remind
01:57:46
myself and you know I've got six uh five
01:57:48
six beautiful kids you know it's like
01:57:52
life's most days Life's good nowadays
01:57:55
it's [ __ ] well you rip what you say so
01:57:57
you definitely deserve more good days
01:57:59
than bad days thank you my brother yeah
01:58:00
thanks bro really appreciate your time
01:58:02
you're a great New Zealander oh thank
01:58:03
you bro who's our sponsors
01:58:06
oh I don't know who's sponsoring this
01:58:08
episode oh really
01:58:10
well whoever you are you're amazing and
01:58:13
none of this would be possible Without
01:58:15
Your sponsorship
01:58:17
here he is the comedian
