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[Music]
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g'day how's it going oh so good thank
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you for coming over for a chat today
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really appreciate it
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the absolute goat of women's rugby and
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well I was going to say New Zealand but
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in the world really aren't you oh I'm
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not sure about it oh I should we do an
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embarrassing entry where I run through
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some stats uh 15 years in the black
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ferns also a bloody good cricketer
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yeah yeah make sure you hit me up if I
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get anything wrong here uh 2015 World
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Player of the Year yeah that's men and
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women not a women's trophy no that's a
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women's trophy oh it is okay yeah
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uh Player of the Year at the 2018 New
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Zealand Rugby Awards yeah and that was
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men and women and you're the first woman
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to ever win that award record holder for
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the most tests the most consecutive
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tests and the most points for the black
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fans
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and every single scoring record
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imaginable for Canterbury
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points over all most as overall most
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points in a season most tries in a
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season most conversions in the season
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most drop goals in the season most
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points in a match most tries in a match
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most conversions in a match most
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penalties in a match age
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I don't even realize you've obviously
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done some good research then yeah now um
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the podcast is called Runners only so
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before we get into it we should detect
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that box off what is your relationship
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like with running
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um do you do it for fun at all yeah I do
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I used to I used to not enjoy running
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um and then as I kind of got on with my
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Rugby career because obviously we just
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did all our running like
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interconditioning based intervals on a
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field
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um but then now I just love going for
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like a five six k run um it's just such
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a good way to to clear here check some
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music on or a podcast and and just I
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just really fallen in love with it and
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now I don't have to run on a rugby field
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all the time now I'm retired I'll
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probably get into a little bit more yeah
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that's amazing you mentioned that on the
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way in that um you tend to listen to
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music when you run and your friends have
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been trying to get you into podcasts
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what are you what do you normally listen
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to what's your music of choice um I just
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have uh it's a real range um you know
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like listen to a bit of Tina Turner and
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then there's like a bit of Eminem but a
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shape shifter 660 you know so it's a big
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big variety
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um but I yeah when I walk it's obviously
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a bit slow but otherwise find it quite
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hard to find on a good running you know
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good running songs it's important to
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have that but um I've also found
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um running without music too
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um I've kind of I really enjoyed doing
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that and just soaking up the environment
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that you're in um and listening to your
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breathing yeah you're breathing in your
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body yeah all that so it's um no I
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really enjoyed doing that too and how
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how is the body are you like are you
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going to have ongoing injury concerns or
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are you are you in pretty good Nick yeah
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no I'm a pretty good Nick
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um my
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um you know touchwood uh the body's
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handled you know the last 30 consecutive
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years of playing rugby pretty well
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um I broke a finger and had a couple of
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rolled ankles and a couple of
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concussions over those years but that's
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that's all pretty much and you know like
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I'm still reasonably young um hopefully
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the knees and that hold out a little bit
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longer but there's no you know issues at
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the moment well the needs to find now
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then I'm getting I mean you finish your
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playing career so I'm guessing you're
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good yeah well I'm hoping that too I
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want to be 75 years old and you can't
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walk yeah yeah so you reasonably young
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how young are you I'm 34. were you were
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you tempted to I mean you could have
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kept going right for another year
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another four years perhaps yeah I mean
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and that was the question I had to think
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about when I was and that's in my
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retirement but um I just wanted to like
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just 16 years in the black Ferns and
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it's a long time and it's it's you know
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it's full-on mentally and and physically
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as well and my body could have done
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longer but mentally I just got to a
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point where it's just you know an
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opportunity for these young ones to come
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through and I was just ready to step
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down and I wanted to step down on top of
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my game
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um as well I didn't want to be you know
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unfortunate player that gets gets
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dropped and then you have to announce
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your your retirement so I just wanted to
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be on the top of my game and to win a
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World Cup at home was a pretty good way
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to go out yeah I mean there's yeah
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there's not many in this line of work I
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guess that get to leave on their own
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terms and um like a complete like just
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just a bow on what has been an amazing
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career I mean there was no way of there
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was no way of knowing that like England
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are really good right so you guys on
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paper should have lost yeah I mean they
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had 30 they had 30 consecutive wins um
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know they smashed us basically on India
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tour last year and
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um you know we we had our struggles
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early on this year with the side and you
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know we made heaps of changes and having
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Smithy and a good coaching group come on
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and all of a sudden we just get this
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complete different side
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um but even going to the World Cup we
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were underdogs um and it's actually a
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safe place to to be to be honest yeah
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why because you go under the radar a bit
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yeah you're going to the radar and
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everything was focused around England
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and what they'd you know and all their
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winning streak and obviously the French
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as well were a very talented side and
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then um for us it was just yeah I woke
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up at home but you know you kind of work
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to have to keep an eye on that team
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that's going to work up at home but
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because we've been so successful in the
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past
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um you know we've always got a Target on
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our backs and the black Jersey and the
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All Blacks are the same as well like
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every team gets up for you
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um but yeah as we kind of went through
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and we won that semi-final
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um you know that Clara that gave the
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whole group a lot more confidence that
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we could win win the World Cup yeah did
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it yeah yeah definitely did even myself
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like you'd be out of town I mean I I
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jumped very high off the ground as a
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photo floating around
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um but like I was just so pumped to win
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that game you know unfortunately it was
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a a kick that you know that poor girl
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that missed the kick but um you know you
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got to take that and then from there I
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was just like here we go we're going to
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a World Cup final at home yeah so so
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that semi-final that was against France
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um at the time of recording this podcast
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it was like a few weekends ago and and
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um yeah right on full time the um the
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French kicker she she missed a cake it
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was kind of a choke wasn't it yeah and
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she's one of the best goalkeepers in the
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world and for me like that's that's
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unfortunately what what pressure does to
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your riding you know like especially out
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like being at a at a home World Cup for
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us and overseas they don't necessarily
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make a lot of noise when someone's
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kicking that goal and I'm not sure if
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she's experienced that before but the
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crowd was going absolutely wild
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um and they were going crazy out there
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and then you know I think she even might
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have rushed her her process a bit
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quicker as well but it's just amazing
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what what pressure does to you and
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um you know I actually felt sorry for us
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she's a very talented player um but at
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the same time it got us a World Cup one
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and you know we're absolutely stoked
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yeah no I was I caught up with your
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friend Sarah the other day your teammate
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and friend Sarah and she said to me as
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soon as the French girl was lining up
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the cake she knew she was going to miss
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it like something about her pre-kick
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routine was different yeah her process
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was a bit faster and like just say body
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language as well like I was a little bit
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buttons down she wasn't real comfortable
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I think she was even out of her range as
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well her kicking range so there was a
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part of me that was like oh yeah this is
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this is gonna be a tough one here but
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she's also very good so in my mind
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there's a lot going on
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um and as you can imagine I'm already
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thinking about like what what happens
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next you know like if she gets it do we
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have time for a kickoff I actually went
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went to Sarah and said hey like if if
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she gets this we need a kick off and you
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need to get up and get it back obviously
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being a seventh player
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um they're great at getting off the
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ground here and Stacy fluller and stuff
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so um I was kind of already going
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through that process and then I looked
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up for the post and then next minute
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she's she's missed it and then I was
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like oh [ __ ] better get over there and
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and support Kennedy and slow it down and
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kick it out amazing now the the reason I
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wanted to like bring that cake up and
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focus on that a bit is um uh you found
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yourself in a similar situation a long
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time ago 2008 uh the embassy finder for
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Canterbury you must um like a kick that
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would have won the championship straight
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in front of the post right on full time
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so this sort of like parallels in a way
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I guess between the French girl and you
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yeah I obviously like NPC final it's a
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big deal but it's not World Cup how long
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does it take you to get over something
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like that yeah well thanks for bringing
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that up again
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with the achievements that you've had
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since then and recently I thought you'd
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be fine with it no I'm totally fine with
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that I've learned a lot from that and I
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know that that um Caroline Joanne should
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learn a lot from it too and yeah for me
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like I was you know as my second year in
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the fire Palmer cup I wasn't hugely a
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kicker I just kind of did it through
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school and then all of a sudden adopted
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it and
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um I hadn't dealt with uh I guess
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process around goal kicking pressure
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with goal kicking and yeah there was one
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just just to the left of the to the post
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and um yeah I just absolutely [ __ ] like
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shanked it um slice it to the left and
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and missed it and like and I think the
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toughest thing is is that
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Kennedy had been in so many finals in
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the over the years for fire farmer cuff
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and we had never never won one so it was
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absolutely guffing um to Mystic and
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being the young one and the team right I
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could only be my second year in the side
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so
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um it took me a while to get over it but
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once a while uh probably two years two
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or so years
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it's funny like
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you're laughing at that because you
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think that's I had um Shane Cameron on
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the podcast and he said when he lost
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that fight to David tour seven years it
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took him to get over it had Jimmy
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nishimon he said he still thinks about
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that um that game that they lost against
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England most days yeah yeah so two years
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yeah yeah I mean it kind of at the end
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of the day like it's a game right and
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it's it's there's other things that go
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on in life but I think you know as I
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said I've learned a lot from that and
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I've worked on my process and I don't
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know how many times I've I've won games
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from goal kicking between now and and
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between then and now sorry and
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um you know I think it's probably maybe
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every clicking session I do I start from
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that spot lot so no matter what if it's
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a captain's run or a warm-up before the
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game I always start at the spot where I
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miss that kick and that's kind of how
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consciously yeah just always do it yeah
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and you sit up there and go because
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that's the one that I know that's the
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one I need to know right because it's
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the one that that threw me back so you
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say you thought about for two years it
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seems like in the back of your mind you
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asked him some thinking about it yeah
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it's quite funny because when we had um
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Dan Carter and to do a cooking session
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with us recently he his bogey spots the
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same spot um you know so he's pretty
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similar around there he shanked a couple
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um from that same position so it's a
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niggly spot that one out in front wow
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it's amazing would you agree though
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because I'm a I'm a huge fan of um
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failing because I feel like you learn so
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much more from your fails in life than
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from your successes
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um yeah would you agree with it 100 yeah
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I mean your career is so so good this in
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hindsight yeah that was probably not
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about the worst thing to happen no and
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it's not you're right and there's you
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know there's there's nothing wrong with
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failure in that sense and this is how
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you pick yourself up and and move
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forward with it and I found my ways and
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and then now I look back and that's just
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such a small small part of my of my
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career and and now what we'll run fire
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fire Palmer cup titles I feel sorry for
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the ones that were on the team then and
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didn't want a title but um yeah for sure
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it's um I wanna one a lot in that space
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now which is really cool yeah I don't
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want to dwell on that too much because
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it was a it was a [ __ ] long time ago
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but so so you miss a kiss like click
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like that
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um so your team loses
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um you go back into the the dressing
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room does everyone you're obviously
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devastated does everyone sort of rally
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around you or can you feel the the
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tension of some of the players or yeah
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you do you do feel a bit of tension from
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the plasma journalism are really good I
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think um as well because we actually had
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so I went to kicker and when I missed it
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they still with they sort of we swear to
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play
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um and then we managed to just about
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score as well and the last one girl got
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tackled out just before full time so
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there was still an opportunity there
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wasn't like it was bang on full time
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um but yeah you do you carry it you
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carry it a lot and you know a lot of
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people say that and it shouldn't come
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down to down to the clicker you know a
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game shot in it and some of the girls
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were you know were I could feel the
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tension
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um but others were immature
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you know it's okay to don't worry about
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just being you know being so young
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um you know it's what 18 or 19 years old
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um it's a lot of responsibility yeah
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caring the whole yeah felt like I
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carried the whole Province the day on my
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shoulders yeah I want to work out okay
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um so um before we can get further um
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Sarah hidden uh your teammate and your
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friend
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um she missed I was hanging out with her
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the other day doing some training with
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her uh and she she gave me a few things
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to bring up with you oh gosh some of
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them
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um first of all I need to ask you about
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your shoe size
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what's the I was wondering what kind of
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Gossip she might have been giving you
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now I love um Sarah had any she's one
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Epic human
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um you know everyone loves her she's
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fantastic she's got a great leadership
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and she's just an awesome friend and a
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good person
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um I've got a very small fate
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um I'm sorry I'm a woman six but it's a
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minute it's four and a half so I thought
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that is small yeah I had to get my boats
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my Rugby boots custom made for me but
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because I originally I was wearing kids
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kids boats um because there was nothing
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else for me but um thanks to to Eddie
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this um now yeah custom custom-made
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boots so over the years I had to kind of
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keep keep them you know because I never
00:12:44
know when it's going to kind of in if I
00:12:46
go into coaching and stuff or whatnot
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I'm still going to need some boots so um
00:12:51
oh oh they don't look ridiculously small
00:12:54
yeah it's a woman so it's a woman's sex
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so it's not too bad it's just meant I've
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got my boots on I look because obviously
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the boots are probably you want a bit
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more tighter fit so yeah and um Sarah
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she also gave me a couple of nicknames
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to bring up and um what I actually feel
00:13:09
a little bit awkward about both of them
00:13:10
one of them one of them I reckon I can
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probably work out even though it seems
00:13:13
kind of mean the other one it seems
00:13:15
really inappropriate do you want to
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guess what yes we're gonna be munge
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nickname and everyone thinks it's real
00:13:27
juicy but it's it's not it's just back
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in 2008 I was in Australia and we're
00:13:32
over there for black fans in color
00:13:33
whoever was my roommate and
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um you know back then you got a phone
00:13:37
and you had to change your sim card you
00:13:39
know you'd put a SIM card in it like
00:13:40
when you got to a different country yeah
00:13:42
like a local some of you could be um
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yeah
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so I've checked another similar night to
00:13:46
ring Vodafone Australia and um and I
00:13:49
just had on speaker because you know you
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would say take forever sometimes start
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on the phone and then um my aunt said
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and they were like oh I just say oh you
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know how you wanted to activate the the
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SIM card and then they're asking what
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you know what my name was and I was like
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oh Kendra and they're like how do you
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spell that and I said okay India and
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they're like oh what's so m i n g e and
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I had it on speaker
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my roommate Carla whoever heard it and
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we just lost that and that's how I got
00:14:13
the nickname because you're from um I
00:14:15
don't know if this is like a a regional
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thing or a provincial thing but I'm from
00:14:18
Palmas North and a Minge was like a
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vagina yeah well that's exactly okay
00:14:22
it's like uh like sometimes even
00:14:24
smoothie at one stage he didn't even
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realize he called it he called me
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Manchester so this is what Wayne Smith
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the uh yeah the coach
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um but a lot of people call in and now
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it's just it's just a big joke and
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there's you know it kind of dies away
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but then it comes back in again
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depending on who's around and and in the
00:14:40
environment but um yeah it's it's funny
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it's just funny when coaches start
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calling it like what the heck
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and the what the other nickname any idea
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what they would have been this one this
00:14:51
one I I feel mean bringing this out well
00:14:53
I'm interested to know what it is and
00:14:54
this is Elma yeah yeah so that one Elmo
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and when she sent that through I thought
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why would she be called Elmo your voice
00:15:01
is a little yeah that's it so when
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apparently when I laugh
00:15:04
um a lot you know when I'm cracking up
00:15:06
laughing I I sound like Elmo and that's
00:15:09
what it came from it that came from a
00:15:12
teammate what 2007. what kind of pretty
00:15:17
yeah and then just because I was like
00:15:19
and after rugby I'd be like red and
00:15:21
um you know well
00:15:23
yeah all that stuff so um that kind of
00:15:27
stuff but then everyone's kind of
00:15:28
actually that one's died out in the
00:15:31
environment it's just not a king or um
00:15:33
sometimes people call me Kendra and I
00:15:34
find that so weird now yeah I'm like my
00:15:37
Kendra on my name like you know it seems
00:15:39
kind of weird
00:15:40
um when somebody called by your first
00:15:41
name it's like you know is that Mum like
00:15:43
everybody in trouble even my mum doesn't
00:15:45
even call me that but um foreign
00:15:53
we're recording this and I think it's
00:15:55
like a maybe 11 Days 12 days since you
00:15:57
won the Rugby World Cup at Eden Park
00:15:59
that massive massive game right on just
00:16:01
like the semi-final right on full time
00:16:03
you beat England how what's been
00:16:04
happening since then it's it's been
00:16:06
awesome it's been it's been incredible
00:16:08
actually like uh my phone's been running
00:16:09
hot
00:16:10
um I've been doing a lot of media and I
00:16:13
just I just want to ride the wave while
00:16:14
we can and get women's sport and women's
00:16:16
rugby out there and
00:16:18
um there's been a lot of drinking to be
00:16:20
honest I um I didn't I put I only gave
00:16:23
myself like three drinking passes the
00:16:25
whole year because I just wanted to put
00:16:26
all my eggs in one basket to win this
00:16:28
you know win World Cup and well to make
00:16:30
the team to start with and then now I've
00:16:32
gone and drank just for every day since
00:16:34
we won
00:16:35
um just out with mates having a wine I
00:16:37
went out for dinner the other night and
00:16:39
um there were six of us and you know I
00:16:41
had two um two lovely couples um send
00:16:44
two bottles of bubbles to the table you
00:16:47
know like it's just people were just
00:16:48
absolutely fizzing over it and and so
00:16:50
excited and then even just on my way
00:16:52
here from the airport you know the the
00:16:55
cab driver was um he was so excited to
00:16:58
have me in his cab you know he's he's
00:16:59
from he's from Egypt and I just think
00:17:01
it's so special that we've just inspired
00:17:03
this whole
00:17:04
um the whole country and the whole
00:17:05
nation and the whole world really and
00:17:07
the amount of people that are popping up
00:17:09
and and um that are you know getting
00:17:11
photos in the supermarket and you know a
00:17:13
lady came up to me yesterday in a
00:17:15
supermarket and she just started crying
00:17:17
and she was just so impressed around how
00:17:19
much we have inspired her and her her
00:17:21
daughter and I'm just like I do you want
00:17:24
to hug like you know she's just crying
00:17:26
and then I just don't think it really
00:17:27
like I really hope that the girls
00:17:29
realize what we've just done and I
00:17:31
probably still don't really realize what
00:17:32
we've just done
00:17:34
yeah I was thinking about you the other
00:17:36
day so you've been in four World Cup
00:17:37
campaigns so what year was the first one
00:17:39
uh 2010 2010 yeah I don't even remember
00:17:42
that at all actually I don't remember
00:17:44
the the three before this one yeah and
00:17:46
I'm guessing like from a player's
00:17:48
perspective like can you
00:17:50
feel or notice like a difference in all
00:17:52
four campaigns in terms of like
00:17:54
awareness or The Snowball Effect I guess
00:17:56
yeah yeah like our 2010 one you know
00:17:58
like even just rugby was wasn't a
00:18:00
woman's rugby wasn't even really a thing
00:18:02
still like it's bizarre but
00:18:04
um you know when we won that and it was
00:18:06
in England we came back and there wasn't
00:18:07
a lot
00:18:08
um from media we didn't have a lot of
00:18:10
media interest or anything or even our
00:18:12
resourcing within the team and then 2014
00:18:14
is funny enough we actually didn't go
00:18:16
very well we lost to Ireland and the
00:18:17
pool play
00:18:18
um so we didn't even get near the final
00:18:20
and then all of a sudden the media
00:18:22
jumped on that because we had lost
00:18:24
um and then 2017 was massive so that was
00:18:27
in Ireland and that's we came back and
00:18:28
there's a lot of meat around that but
00:18:29
there's nothing like this one um being
00:18:31
at home in New Zealand
00:18:33
um I think there's actually a photo
00:18:35
um floating around somewhere of our very
00:18:37
first media conference the start of this
00:18:40
year and there was one microphone on the
00:18:42
table at the conference and then myself
00:18:44
and Ruby Tui did the last one um the
00:18:46
Thursday leading into the final and
00:18:48
there was like I'd say like 16 to 20
00:18:51
phones and microphones at the media
00:18:54
conference so the fact that the media is
00:18:55
getting in behind it and everyone knows
00:18:57
about it everyone's telling the stories
00:18:59
of these wonderful my wonderful
00:19:01
teammates you know they're all fantastic
00:19:03
people and you actually get to know them
00:19:05
for who they are and there's no they're
00:19:07
straight up there's no there's no hiding
00:19:09
behind a wall of or anything you know
00:19:11
the girls are genuine and that's what I
00:19:13
love about them and that's what's
00:19:14
probably kept me going back year on year
00:19:17
yeah that's amazing God you you lit I
00:19:20
mean you could have another World Cup in
00:19:21
you but it feels like you I mean I
00:19:23
suppose everyone's goal is to like leave
00:19:24
the jersey or leave the team or leave
00:19:26
the environment in a better position
00:19:27
than what you found it and God you've
00:19:29
definitely done that haven't you yeah
00:19:30
and the growth that you've seen in that
00:19:31
time yeah the growth I've seen has been
00:19:33
huge and you know it's honestly it's
00:19:35
been it's been incredible from when I
00:19:36
first made it and we got leftover men's
00:19:38
clothes under you know the under 20
00:19:40
men's team we got did yeah yeah leftover
00:19:42
stuff we didn't start a very nice
00:19:44
accommodation we had two tests a year
00:19:46
generally against Australia they would
00:19:48
have been flying your business class
00:19:48
they like that no way they're listening
00:19:51
economy you're right at the back
00:19:53
um and then yeah and then now it's like
00:19:56
you know we're we've got so much result
00:19:58
like we had probably two coaches a
00:20:00
manager and a physio back then and now
00:20:03
we've got like 18 management that
00:20:05
support us and
00:20:07
um there's obviously a lot of resource
00:20:08
and funding within you know in the high
00:20:10
performance hubs and that around the
00:20:12
country and it's just that it's honestly
00:20:13
it's been incredible and I'm so lucky
00:20:15
that I've got to experience the amateur
00:20:17
uh into the professional and I got to
00:20:19
have a year of being a full-time rugby
00:20:21
player yeah it would have been nicer a
00:20:22
bit longer but you know I can't play
00:20:24
Forever yeah well people I mean the
00:20:26
cheese you probably could
00:20:28
um
00:20:28
so back at the time so when you're
00:20:31
wearing like the the hand-me-down men's
00:20:33
clothes and you know you're staying in
00:20:35
shitty accommodation and stuff are you
00:20:37
are you like angry at the time or better
00:20:39
at the time about the lack of respect or
00:20:42
yeah I think it would just win through
00:20:43
that that time you just you didn't
00:20:45
really know any any different I think is
00:20:47
probably back then and we kind of just
00:20:49
did and you're just happy and grateful
00:20:51
to be playing for your country and
00:20:54
um and then as the years kind of got on
00:20:55
and you know you're looking at the 2014
00:20:58
World Cup and you know just getting a
00:21:00
little bit more support but it's still
00:21:01
really slow
00:21:02
um so there's probably times when you
00:21:03
just go a little bit like oh man it'd be
00:21:05
awesome if we got that like the guys or
00:21:07
you know we have brand new clothes you
00:21:10
know but um yeah like the supports
00:21:12
definitely is growing in that space But
00:21:14
it's just been very slow
00:21:16
um but now it's the last few years it's
00:21:18
just absolutely taken off and it will be
00:21:19
being a big part of why we've actually
00:21:22
been successful but I still feel we've
00:21:24
got a long way to go yeah all right
00:21:25
absolutely yeah there is a long way to
00:21:27
go
00:21:28
um one thing thing one thing that I
00:21:30
thought about it's um and this was
00:21:31
evident by watching People's Instagram
00:21:32
and Tech talks and stuff like that you
00:21:34
guys seem to have a lot of fun and I saw
00:21:36
an interview with um Mr Wayne Smith as
00:21:38
well he said the the one of the main
00:21:40
differences between the guys and the
00:21:41
girls is just how much fun you're having
00:21:42
and you're always singing and you're
00:21:43
laughing and um Sarah said to me the
00:21:45
other day at the match she said um
00:21:46
someone like dropped a ball at training
00:21:48
and all the girls started laughing and
00:21:51
um
00:21:52
one thing um one thing I'm
00:21:55
just hoping that that won't change you
00:21:58
know what I mean because I'm like say we
00:22:00
saw the All Blacks training during the
00:22:01
week last week and then they they had a
00:22:02
25 Old draw against
00:22:04
um England yeah I feel like a lot of the
00:22:06
public would be like oh that's because
00:22:07
they were having too much fun during the
00:22:08
week yeah is that a fear for the woman
00:22:10
like you you get so much exposure so
00:22:12
much popularity that you have to stop
00:22:13
your natural game and you're natural
00:22:15
it's real interesting to say and it is
00:22:16
such a fine line but like this team like
00:22:19
in women's rugby is known for that you
00:22:21
know like Canterbury teams the same like
00:22:23
we're we're listening to the greatest
00:22:25
showman this is me before we're about to
00:22:27
go out and play final you know and the
00:22:30
girls are singing and dancing and like
00:22:31
if they weren't and if they were serious
00:22:33
I'd be going oh my God guys what's wrong
00:22:35
but um you know it's took Smithy Chrono
00:22:38
entered a while to to adjust to that
00:22:42
um like Chrono and they hated the music
00:22:43
on the bus who's quarter Micron all
00:22:46
right yeah yeah AK obviously came across
00:22:47
on all blacks and they used to a silent
00:22:49
bus on the way to the game and there's
00:22:51
obviously a lot of music getting played
00:22:52
and he was they were just like what the
00:22:54
heck like we need to cut down we're like
00:22:55
no the girls love it it's all about it
00:22:57
that's what it's about
00:22:59
um but I don't I don't think it there
00:23:00
needs to change I think India tour
00:23:02
though when we were losing there was a
00:23:05
bit of criticism around we're doing too
00:23:07
many tick tocks in in too much you know
00:23:09
social media but then all of a sudden
00:23:11
you start learning and no one obviously
00:23:13
brings it up but I just hope that that
00:23:14
never changes because that's the
00:23:16
difference between the woman's game and
00:23:18
the men's game yeah and you don't want
00:23:20
the fun or the enjoyment sucked out of
00:23:22
it yeah and that's why that's why you
00:23:23
play the game right and that's what I
00:23:24
reflected on like I've probably got too
00:23:26
serious for a few years in there around
00:23:28
everything myself and then this year I
00:23:30
knew it was going to be my last so I
00:23:31
just wanted to make sure I'm enjoying
00:23:33
every every moment and then you know
00:23:35
your performance actually starts coming
00:23:36
back when you just actually there to
00:23:38
perform and I do there is probably a
00:23:39
little bit of concern as the more
00:23:41
professional it gets it that will that
00:23:43
will change but I really hope that I
00:23:44
really hope it doesn't yeah yeah
00:23:46
absolutely
00:23:47
um
00:23:48
yeah oh man it's just so cool uh I I'm
00:23:52
just sitting here and your presence and
00:23:54
it's like it's just the impact that you
00:23:56
guys have had on New Zealand this year
00:23:57
it's been a game game changer and I'm
00:23:59
I'm so pleased that you got to see this
00:24:00
before your career ended yeah and I
00:24:02
think you deserve it I think that's
00:24:03
what's real special as I did get to
00:24:05
experience that and you know a lot of
00:24:07
people like oh did you get to experience
00:24:08
the crowd and I said yeah when we walked
00:24:10
out like when you're doing the anthem
00:24:12
when you walk out that's your time
00:24:14
you've got time between that and the
00:24:15
hakka before kickoff to actually soak
00:24:17
that in and I'm I'm just sitting there
00:24:19
and looking at the crowd just going oh
00:24:21
my gosh like this is really happening
00:24:23
you know I never thought that in my
00:24:25
career that would have a sellout crowd
00:24:27
at Eden Park so to have that already it
00:24:29
was almost honestly it was it was
00:24:31
incredible there's no really words that
00:24:32
that can describe it because it was just
00:24:34
something that I never thought would
00:24:36
happen in my career I knew I would get
00:24:38
there and have potential but um even the
00:24:40
fans were fantastic like Smithy said
00:24:43
that he had never the amount of times
00:24:44
he's obviously been at Eden Park with
00:24:46
the All Blacks he's never been in a
00:24:47
crowd that was chanting like they were
00:24:50
you know like they were like black ferns
00:24:51
black ferns he's like he's never heard
00:24:53
that before and that blew him away and
00:24:55
I'm just like well like you know like to
00:24:57
be able to we're making a break in a
00:24:58
game I can't even hear what my tens or
00:25:00
you know what she's wanting the
00:25:02
direction from because it's so loud but
00:25:03
holy gecko is pretty special I thought
00:25:05
the crowd was sort of feeding off the
00:25:07
energy of you guys yeah I think this
00:25:08
probably
00:25:10
will talk a lot like I've been to model
00:25:11
all black scams and you know it's so
00:25:13
almost like so serious on the game
00:25:15
um you know but for us it's you know
00:25:17
everyone probably found it felt the
00:25:19
energy from us and what we're what you
00:25:21
know what we're like on the social media
00:25:22
and social content and that and that's
00:25:24
probably where they're feeling from yeah
00:25:25
well speaking of that there's um you've
00:25:28
got a tick tock account and uh one of
00:25:30
one of your most viewed ones it's got
00:25:31
like 300 000 views or something it's uh
00:25:33
your parents in the grandstand and um
00:25:35
You've Got A Friend Of Yours to sort of
00:25:37
stealthily film them as you were leading
00:25:39
the hacker and they they had no idea
00:25:41
that you were about to leave the Haka
00:25:42
yeah that's um oh that's amazing it
00:25:45
looks like it looks like your dad looks
00:25:47
stunned it looks like he's about to cry
00:25:48
even though he doesn't look like a
00:25:50
particularly emotional sort of guy no
00:25:51
he's not and there's not and it's yeah
00:25:52
it's actually not to be a dick but it's
00:25:54
got a yeah over a million oh yeah
00:26:01
um and that's yesterday one of my
00:26:02
friends I so when I got asked to lead
00:26:04
the Haka by adihiana and Rawhide them on
00:26:08
um I was like what like really like I
00:26:10
was blown away and I was like I'm only
00:26:12
gonna do it if I can do it well so I
00:26:13
practice all week because you know I was
00:26:15
doing it in the shower I was doing it
00:26:17
you know in front of the mirror you know
00:26:19
throughout the weekend and then I was
00:26:20
like I'm not actually going to tell
00:26:21
anyone about this I asked a couple of my
00:26:23
mates um down in Christchurch about like
00:26:26
what are you thinking if I you know if I
00:26:28
if I do this you're like you know should
00:26:29
I do it and I knew then it was going to
00:26:31
be my last game in the black Jersey and
00:26:33
Christchurch because I knew I was about
00:26:34
to announce my retirement so
00:26:37
um as I just kept it a surprise for my
00:26:38
family and then just yeah absolutely
00:26:40
went out and just and owned it and yeah
00:26:42
Dad's not a huge emotional guy I mean
00:26:44
he's probably a bit more than others
00:26:45
he's got five you know he's got his wife
00:26:47
and then four daughters so he's a bit
00:26:49
softer than others but um yeah they're
00:26:51
absolutely Blown Away
00:26:53
um and there was yeah it meant a lot to
00:26:55
me and my to me and my family to to
00:26:57
finish in Christchurch like that was it
00:26:59
hard to keep it a secret uh not really I
00:27:02
kind of just focused on the on the rugby
00:27:03
side of things throughout the week and
00:27:04
I'm pretty good at keeping secrets so um
00:27:07
yeah no it wasn't at all um when did you
00:27:10
have the idea to film it that was a
00:27:12
great that was good thinking yeah that
00:27:13
was game day actually I am just missing
00:27:16
my friend and I wasn't sure because they
00:27:17
her seats for you know their seats were
00:27:19
different to my with my mum and dad went
00:27:21
I'm not sure how this is going to work
00:27:22
but thank God it wasn't like a sold out
00:27:23
crowd so then you could kind of move
00:27:25
around a little yeah yeah um and then
00:27:27
yeah I see one of my friends here
00:27:29
messaged mum and dad and asked where
00:27:30
they're sitting and then just captured
00:27:31
captured the moment so before we cheers
00:27:36
all my family's still in there we're
00:27:38
about to the neck are you from uh I'm
00:27:40
from down the coast down or cattle um I
00:27:42
grew up I grew up there went to school
00:27:44
there and
00:27:45
um I might as funny enough my twin
00:27:47
sister's actually back living there now
00:27:48
with her husband and kids which is quite
00:27:50
funny so it's good to to venture out
00:27:52
there and go down to my old local Rugby
00:27:53
Club that I played for and
00:27:55
um but yeah my parents are in New
00:27:57
Plymouth and New Plymouth now and and so
00:27:59
I was in you know my sisters one of
00:28:01
them's in Englewood and one of them's
00:28:03
the new Plymouth and then the other ones
00:28:04
yeah down in all cattle right yeah so
00:28:06
you're you're a twiners um is she an
00:28:08
identical twin or yeah no we're actually
00:28:10
just quite a funny we're actually very
00:28:12
different
00:28:13
um you know all through school it was
00:28:14
always nice that you first have you know
00:28:16
school to hate you know primary school
00:28:17
high school yeah you know you always had
00:28:19
a buddy but it lasted like you know 30
00:28:21
seconds you get to school but okay I'm
00:28:22
going to swim now don't need you anymore
00:28:25
um you know so everybody just ventured
00:28:26
off in our own ways and we both I mean
00:28:28
we're both obviously the love sport the
00:28:30
whole family love sport um but we had a
00:28:32
whole different group of school friends
00:28:33
and
00:28:34
um yeah we're quite we're quite
00:28:35
different but everyone says we're we're
00:28:37
alike but I guess you are I like like
00:28:39
your siblings yeah I understand more
00:28:41
than what you do so you don't have um
00:28:43
that sort of twin thing where like if
00:28:44
you feel pain she feels pain now we used
00:28:47
to finish each other's
00:28:52
um you know I really like or get home
00:28:55
from school be all would go to tell mum
00:28:57
or dad the same like the same story at
00:28:59
school they like would have that kind of
00:29:01
thing but I yeah I'm not sure I haven't
00:29:03
really gone through the feel of pain if
00:29:05
you know I haven't really pinpointed
00:29:07
that and I'm really lucky lucky for her
00:29:09
you're the rugby player who's gonna
00:29:10
teleport a ninja all the time yeah yeah
00:29:12
and even when she was having it going
00:29:13
through pregnancy on you know and having
00:29:15
a baby I was I wonder if they'll be
00:29:16
anything I'm just trying to think about
00:29:18
it you know yeah maybe not but now it's
00:29:21
you know just more just finishing each
00:29:22
other's sentences or wanting to tell the
00:29:24
same story and you took her as um as a
00:29:26
date to one of those award ceremonies we
00:29:28
talked about what was that was that the
00:29:29
um the Kelvin Arch remain there was
00:29:31
2018. 2018. so what was that for them so
00:29:34
that's for the New Zealand uh player of
00:29:36
the year yeah so you were the first yeah
00:29:38
the first woman to win that so who are
00:29:39
you who are you up against I was up uh
00:29:41
it's a good question as uh I was in
00:29:43
there I think it was it was Richie Moana
00:29:45
Sam whitelock and maybe it was Cody
00:29:48
Taylor right wow so you so you're
00:29:51
sitting there are you thinking you're
00:29:52
you're a 25 chance or I'm thinking
00:29:54
there's no one how I'm gonna win it
00:29:56
really why did you think that never
00:29:58
happened oh yeah it's never happened
00:29:59
before and just you know like obviously
00:30:01
there's been times and you know even
00:30:03
2010 when we we won the World Cup we
00:30:05
never won the team of the year and you
00:30:07
know I wasn't quite sure you know I was
00:30:09
like oh to run up against some All
00:30:10
Blacks was pretty pretty tough um so you
00:30:12
would you were happy just to be there
00:30:13
yeah numbers yeah and actually I just
00:30:15
won the fuel pharmaceutical medal which
00:30:17
is the far like the fire farmer cup
00:30:19
player of the year and then I won New
00:30:21
Zealand women's Player of the Year as
00:30:22
well and then so this was a third award
00:30:24
and I was like well they're not going to
00:30:25
give it to me I've already won two you
00:30:26
know kind of thing
00:30:30
um and then I actually was already up on
00:30:32
stage I remember it so clearly I was
00:30:33
already up on stage because I just won
00:30:36
New Zealand women's player of the year
00:30:37
and then the next one was the the Kelvin
00:30:39
Archer main so and then the guy from
00:30:42
from Sky because he's usually two six
00:30:45
out there because I'm doing two awards
00:30:46
at once
00:30:47
um and then so I was already up there
00:30:49
there was one seat and I was sitting in
00:30:50
it and then he bought another scene and
00:30:51
goes oh this is for the next winner for
00:30:54
the next award so and he winked at me
00:30:56
and I just said oh yeah cool obviously I
00:30:57
haven't won you know like because I'm
00:30:59
already sitting on stage why would they
00:31:00
need to put another chair there
00:31:02
um and he would have known who was going
00:31:04
to be winning obviously and then well so
00:31:06
that's why the wink makes sense now yeah
00:31:08
the Wing makes sense now but I didn't
00:31:09
then right say at the time you thought
00:31:11
oh that's cool yeah and I was oh yeah
00:31:13
that's cool I'm still we had a
00:31:15
successful night and you know you don't
00:31:16
play rugby for those individual
00:31:17
accolades but um uh yeah and then my
00:31:21
name went through the international I'm
00:31:22
sitting on stage and then my name got
00:31:24
called out and I just remember because
00:31:25
the lights are so bright right like you
00:31:27
can't see the crowd very well and
00:31:30
um and then holy heck my whole body just
00:31:31
started shaking and then I got a
00:31:33
standing ovation from the crowd and in
00:31:35
the whole time I was like telling myself
00:31:37
I always tell myself don't trip over
00:31:38
don't trip over
00:31:40
um
00:31:52
um and then yeah I just I went up and um
00:31:56
Grant Robertson was presenting me with
00:31:59
it and he he said to me I'm actually
00:32:01
hold it with two hands it's pretty heavy
00:32:03
because it is it was very heavy um like
00:32:05
what six kilos five kilos because the
00:32:07
part of the Year ones that I've got
00:32:08
there five and this one's a bit bigger
00:32:09
so I reckon it might have been sitting
00:32:10
around seven right uh seven kgs and
00:32:14
um and then I just remember sitting
00:32:15
there and I was just like shaking it
00:32:16
just so much and then I sat down and
00:32:19
Sumo was interviewing us and my whole
00:32:21
bottom lip was shaking you know when
00:32:23
you're like gonna cry and I was holding
00:32:25
myself together and he was trying to
00:32:26
make me cry and I was like yeah and it
00:32:28
was yeah it was pretty emotional and
00:32:30
then I got off stage and I was still
00:32:31
shaking and then it just went straight
00:32:33
into a whole room of media
00:32:35
um did Scotty Stevenson
00:32:38
um succeed in making you cry I didn't
00:32:40
succeed I managed to hold it together
00:32:41
you know not particularly emotional no I
00:32:44
am I I can be but I yeah I just I think
00:32:47
there was just so many emotions going on
00:32:48
I didn't really know I was like is this
00:32:50
real like there's so many things
00:32:51
happening yeah and I just remember
00:32:52
shaking and then if I cried I would I
00:32:54
wasn't fighting it or anything
00:32:56
um and then I got a little bit of
00:32:57
emotional once I got into the media room
00:32:58
because I think I just realized what had
00:33:00
happened
00:33:01
um but I've been real emotional this
00:33:03
last couple of you know the last couple
00:33:05
of games for for the black fans just
00:33:07
because you know it's the yeah I just
00:33:10
remember like and just being overwhelmed
00:33:11
with everything like I went and you know
00:33:13
after signing autographs with the crowd
00:33:15
and that semi-final I literally just
00:33:16
went and said in my scene I just pulled
00:33:18
my eyes out in the training room
00:33:20
everyone's like you're right I'm like
00:33:21
yeah I'm all good I was just so
00:33:22
overwatched yeah and the same thing
00:33:24
happened after the final because there's
00:33:26
a story I heard about Richard McCoy
00:33:28
maybe even saw this on the Richie McCall
00:33:29
movie but um after his last game uh when
00:33:31
they won the World Cup apparently he
00:33:33
didn't shower afterwards kept his
00:33:34
playing kid on worried on the bus back
00:33:36
to the hotel because he knew that when
00:33:38
he when he took it off that was going to
00:33:39
be the last time he he took off like the
00:33:42
all black cat was it a anything like
00:33:44
that for you or yeah it's pretty similar
00:33:46
actually and it's more because it got so
00:33:48
busy but um I didn't leave I didn't
00:33:50
leave Eden Park well I didn't go leave
00:33:52
the field so I didn't go into the
00:33:53
changing room until the lights went off
00:33:56
um and that's because I was like I just
00:33:58
spent hours like signing autographs and
00:34:00
just wanted to be involved with the
00:34:02
crowd and just really cherish that
00:34:04
moment so it took me ages to to get into
00:34:07
the change room and it got to the point
00:34:08
where I was like signing autographs and
00:34:10
I couldn't see and then I feel like a
00:34:11
beer now I need to go celebrate with the
00:34:13
girls
00:34:14
um and then just walked in and were told
00:34:15
just to keep our jerseys and that on
00:34:17
because we were doing some um some
00:34:19
photos and stuff in the changing rooms
00:34:21
and
00:34:22
um and then I went and sat down just to
00:34:24
soak it up for a bit just started
00:34:25
balling around eyes out and then I had
00:34:28
to do a bit of media so I actually had
00:34:30
to go into the media conference after
00:34:31
and then I came back after all that and
00:34:33
I literally was in because I'd give her
00:34:35
my socks and my and my boots away so I'm
00:34:38
literally wearing bare feet and then I
00:34:40
just chucked some shoes on for the media
00:34:41
and then I came back and I got back to
00:34:43
change room and all being cleared out
00:34:45
all my stuff had been packed up and I
00:34:46
was like okay looks like we're going
00:34:47
back to the hotel so like I wore my
00:34:49
stuff as well
00:34:51
um back back to the hotel and obviously
00:34:53
we had a bit of um
00:34:55
champagne and then in the changing room
00:34:57
so I stunk of alcohol so I did think it
00:34:59
was probably the best to have a shower
00:35:01
when I got back
00:35:02
um before but there's a couple of girls
00:35:03
that that did shower but they put their
00:35:05
kit back on
00:35:07
um but um yeah I just I just had to make
00:35:09
sure that I was cherishing those last
00:35:11
you know moments on the side yeah yeah
00:35:13
yeah what kind of what a way to end as
00:35:15
well all right so see what I wanted to
00:35:17
ask you about so you um when did you
00:35:20
take a break you took you took a break
00:35:21
like was this last year yeah it was I
00:35:23
mean I was probably a bruh more than a
00:35:25
Break
00:35:26
um I yeah I went through a bit of mental
00:35:29
fatigue
00:35:30
um and just with rugby I once said I'd
00:35:33
fallen out of love with it but if I
00:35:35
didn't choose to do something about it I
00:35:37
probably could have and I might not have
00:35:39
even been in the team there she is so
00:35:41
that was the start of 2021
00:35:43
um I just didn't want to go to like
00:35:45
black ferns camps
00:35:47
um I didn't really want to I always
00:35:48
wanted to train I'm such an active
00:35:50
person I always wanted a train but I
00:35:52
didn't want to do like rugby training I
00:35:53
just wanted to go for a run or do hit
00:35:56
squad or do something that I I love
00:35:58
doing rather than just you know running
00:35:59
on a rugby field and to me a lot of
00:36:02
people said to me it probably is amazing
00:36:03
how it hadn't happened a little bit
00:36:05
sooner like because I played 30
00:36:06
consecutive years I've been in the black
00:36:08
friends for a long time you know by then
00:36:10
I was 14 I was 14 13 and a half 14 years
00:36:14
um and I just was like I need to do
00:36:16
something about it my body was I was
00:36:18
going through like a little bit of um
00:36:20
like my body was I was having a mess of
00:36:22
body aches and so we you know went to
00:36:24
the doctors and got a little bit of
00:36:25
support around then it came back that I
00:36:26
my cortisol levels were through the roof
00:36:29
so that's obviously just stressed out
00:36:30
yes
00:36:31
um and it's because I've covered um
00:36:34
obviously I lost my nephew on India tour
00:36:36
as well but that was after but there was
00:36:38
so many things that I because I was
00:36:40
trying to work full-time as well
00:36:42
um and I I'm not one to know it mentally
00:36:44
until my body tells me that I'm stressed
00:36:46
before I know I am
00:36:48
um yeah right so it's just your you
00:36:50
obviously you're dealing with stuff in
00:36:52
your mind and maybe you don't realize
00:36:53
that yeah your body shuts down as a my
00:36:55
body shuts down in the first and I'm
00:36:56
like you know I feel like everyone's
00:36:57
like hey I'm like yeah I'm all good like
00:36:59
I feel good but my body's going you're
00:37:00
not and then that's when I you know I
00:37:02
was like I need to take a break here and
00:37:03
if I want to you know play on the World
00:37:05
Cup at home I'm going to need to take a
00:37:07
break and
00:37:08
um so I did that so I just took it back
00:37:09
from from Club footy which was good
00:37:11
because it's like the first part of the
00:37:12
half of the year so you know so I can
00:37:14
enjoy summer and and enjoy time with
00:37:16
family and friends and then um got back
00:37:19
into it before the fire summer cup and
00:37:21
then India you know India tour and stuff
00:37:23
I still went away with the black films
00:37:25
because I think I would have serious
00:37:26
foam mouth I didn't didn't play that um
00:37:28
but it worked wonders because then I
00:37:30
just worked out and I went down and
00:37:33
watched a couple of Club games and I
00:37:35
went and watched some little Juniors
00:37:36
play and just reminded myself why I love
00:37:38
the game
00:37:40
um and and why I play it and I think
00:37:42
that's what's hugely hugely important
00:37:44
and you know I'm not the only one I was
00:37:45
quite interesting there's a few others
00:37:47
like Sophie Devine went through a patch
00:37:49
of it um yeah you see them before we
00:37:52
started you're not much into podcasts
00:37:53
you haven't heard the podcast no no I've
00:37:55
got to get into that yeah the parallels
00:37:57
between you and her there are there are
00:38:00
so many and it sounds like she ended up
00:38:02
at a point where you potentially would
00:38:04
have ended up have if you didn't make
00:38:05
the decision to have their break yeah
00:38:07
she was just like in the net sobbing
00:38:09
yeah at a training and then yeah just
00:38:10
tapped out for a while like she had a
00:38:12
full-on breakdown yeah and that's you
00:38:14
know and I remember talking to you know
00:38:15
me as a million from the silver ferns
00:38:17
who was going to the sun it was like
00:38:18
three or four of us they were going
00:38:19
through the same thing at the same time
00:38:21
and it was quite nice because I was
00:38:23
reaching it we were all reaching out to
00:38:24
each other and I think yeah for me now I
00:38:26
look back and I'm like I just hope that
00:38:28
people if that happens to them to to
00:38:30
notice it early and it's and that it's
00:38:32
okay to to take that break because yeah
00:38:34
I probably wouldn't have been at the at
00:38:36
the World Cup if I if I hadn't done that
00:38:39
yeah what's your what's your inner voice
00:38:40
like because you're in a voice are you
00:38:42
are you quite hard on yourself or are
00:38:43
you quite kind to yourself
00:38:45
um I'm probably I I thrash myself in
00:38:48
terms of like
00:38:49
um training I can be quite hard on
00:38:51
myself in terms of like not really bad
00:38:53
but like I always be careful what I'm
00:38:55
eating because of you know it's going to
00:38:56
impact my training or what I'm drinking
00:38:58
and you know as I said I don't drink
00:38:59
much anyway but I put a stupid drinking
00:39:01
thing on myself this year around alcohol
00:39:03
but
00:39:04
um you know and I was just a small
00:39:07
format is about putting my best foot
00:39:09
forward and everything I do and not
00:39:10
giving anyone an opportunity to to drop
00:39:13
me or whatever that you know whatever
00:39:15
that looks like so I can be pretty tough
00:39:17
on myself in terms of training like I'm
00:39:19
always constantly was it my trainers
00:39:21
around am I doing enough like and it's
00:39:23
crazy because I'm playing in the team
00:39:24
for 15 16 years you think about my
00:39:26
training age you know like everyone was
00:39:28
telling me you need a button off you
00:39:30
don't need to be you know thrashing
00:39:31
yourself constantly and I even had a
00:39:33
chat to nugget Aaron Smith at one stage
00:39:36
to see what his training week looked
00:39:38
like and you know he he was saying he
00:39:40
doesn't smash myself you know he doesn't
00:39:41
put himself against you know against the
00:39:43
wall anymore because it's just about
00:39:45
maintaining and doing things right like
00:39:47
I know he's a he's a hard trainer as
00:39:48
well
00:39:49
um but it took me a while to understand
00:39:50
that like list is actually better at
00:39:52
times
00:39:53
um but in terms of in a you know that's
00:39:55
probably I am probably a bit hard on
00:39:57
myself in terms of that sense but yeah
00:39:59
but in some way it's probably like a
00:40:01
double-edged sword because in some ways
00:40:02
it's probably made you the legend that
00:40:03
you are yeah like I think it's not it's
00:40:05
not a bad thing like I'm I'm never too
00:40:07
worried about like you know um weight
00:40:09
and all that kind of stuff too but I
00:40:11
think it's probably I'm so determined
00:40:12
and I think that's probably made me
00:40:14
um I guess the the player that I am
00:40:17
today yeah where does that dissemination
00:40:18
did I say plow I was playing
00:40:24
um where does that sort of um like I
00:40:26
don't know toughness resilience whatever
00:40:27
you want to call it come from
00:40:30
um well my mum's always used to say to
00:40:32
me I was so determined when I first came
00:40:35
out you know like to climb on things to
00:40:37
do things from a little age
00:40:39
um but I think for me it's you know I
00:40:42
grew up playing rugby with boys and I
00:40:44
had a lot of people say I couldn't do
00:40:46
that and I couldn't play with the boys
00:40:47
and and Mum and Dad have always guided
00:40:50
me and and my sisters have always been
00:40:51
really supportive in that space and I've
00:40:54
always had a mindset of um like don't
00:40:57
worry about what others think and what
00:40:59
others say
00:41:00
um you want to you're going to do this
00:41:01
you're going to play this game because
00:41:02
you you love it and so I think that's
00:41:05
um there's probably you know there's
00:41:06
definitely two two major things in my
00:41:08
career that have helped I I really want
00:41:10
to because I played a bit of sevens as
00:41:12
well
00:41:13
um that's uh when I got to know Sarah
00:41:15
really well and I wanted to go the
00:41:17
Olympics like I really wanted to go to
00:41:18
Rio back then and I worked hard and then
00:41:21
I didn't get a contract leading into
00:41:23
that and which meant that basically I'm
00:41:24
not going to make the make the side and
00:41:26
you know so I fell back on on the 15s
00:41:29
game but you know I look back now and
00:41:31
I'm like if that never happened I
00:41:32
probably wouldn't have built the
00:41:33
resilience that I have today from you
00:41:36
know from not getting it from not
00:41:37
getting selected there's definitely
00:41:38
helped me where I am today and that it's
00:41:40
okay to go through that
00:41:42
um yeah Lyrica definitely made me
00:41:43
stronger Stephanie made me a better
00:41:44
player that's good it's good it's like
00:41:46
we were talking before about that um
00:41:47
that kick that you missed in uh when was
00:41:48
it 2008 yeah yeah I mean things like
00:41:51
that that adversity if you can it seems
00:41:53
[ __ ] tough at the time if you can get
00:41:55
through that stuff it makes you a better
00:41:57
and stronger person on the other end
00:41:58
yeah the worst things you've been
00:42:00
through or yeah I've been lucky enough
00:42:01
with uh touchwood with injuries and
00:42:03
stuff so I haven't had to battle like
00:42:05
some of the girls you know like ADI
00:42:06
Eddie Baylor the other halfback that's
00:42:08
coming through you know she's had three
00:42:09
ACL Recons and same with the Royal high
00:42:12
demand I kept them you know like so
00:42:14
that's that's a real different piece of
00:42:16
resilience uh resilience there but um
00:42:18
you know like they've you know that
00:42:20
that's I guess that's how you build
00:42:22
resilience and I think you know it's
00:42:23
quite tough these days because some some
00:42:25
people just have it really sweet in a
00:42:27
way like not sweet not to say you have
00:42:28
to go through adversity but
00:42:30
um resilience is a real worry within
00:42:32
young ones these days uh one thing one
00:42:35
thing I've learned Kendra from doing
00:42:36
this podcast this year is that um
00:42:37
everyone every single person is carrying
00:42:39
around some [ __ ] yeah it's just how big
00:42:42
that bag of [ __ ] is yeah um and some
00:42:44
people do wear a very good mask yeah and
00:42:46
I think and like I actually went and
00:42:48
watched um Dan Val's movie the other
00:42:50
week before we played she actually come
00:42:52
and did our juicy presentation too and
00:42:54
you know she's an absolute Legend and I
00:42:56
I love it a bit and like I I think
00:42:58
sometimes people just see they're on the
00:43:01
pony or see us on podiums winning and
00:43:03
and doing what we do but there's so many
00:43:05
struggles that people different people
00:43:07
go through you know and watching her
00:43:08
movie and seeing what she went through
00:43:09
like I didn't even realize you know like
00:43:11
I don't realize what she'd have to go
00:43:13
through and I think it's the same for
00:43:15
everyone you know it's not it's not easy
00:43:17
um but you know at the end of the day
00:43:19
it's it's how you react to it and how
00:43:21
you how you deal with it and that little
00:43:23
inner voice inside your head to say you
00:43:25
know keep going you're doing well
00:43:26
um yeah and that's basically what's
00:43:28
probably helped me but
00:43:31
um over the years and I just think it's
00:43:33
it makes you probably a better person as
00:43:35
well yeah absolutely if you felt very
00:43:37
it's a funny one though because every
00:43:38
four years you see her on TV usually
00:43:40
when you go if she doesn't want to go be
00:43:42
like oh what's wrong with Valerie yeah
00:43:43
um but you don't see what's happening in
00:43:45
the shadows like for the massive time in
00:43:47
between all the hours or the struggle
00:43:49
and the strain that goes into that yeah
00:43:50
yeah exactly so it's what I mean like
00:43:53
people just see that right and yeah and
00:43:54
it's like man you just don't understand
00:43:56
the struggles of not wanting to get up
00:43:58
early and train and they're difficult
00:43:59
like there's like high performance sport
00:44:01
it's tough
00:44:02
um but at the same time I've absolutely
00:44:03
loved it I've loved the last 16 years in
00:44:05
the black man yeah now um yeah something
00:44:07
that you said before that I want to go
00:44:09
back to it's um remind me of your friend
00:44:11
Sophie Devine I've had on the podcast as
00:44:12
well she did the same thing growing up
00:44:14
there were no uh like girls crickets
00:44:15
team so she had to play with the boys
00:44:17
and she said um some of the boys and
00:44:19
other teams were could be nasty about it
00:44:21
but she said it was like worse but the
00:44:22
parents like oh what's the skill might
00:44:25
get hurt
00:44:26
um with similar sort of experience but
00:44:28
obviously a very different sport women's
00:44:29
sport contact sport exactly the same
00:44:31
yeah really yeah so um because I grew up
00:44:34
on little okato or like we're in a small
00:44:35
community
00:44:36
um you know so all the boys so all that
00:44:38
my teammates were like my brothers you
00:44:39
know they have my back I remember one
00:44:41
time when I was younger my hair got
00:44:43
pulled um and the boys were like in
00:44:45
there pushing this this other boy around
00:44:47
you know like by the way was this was
00:44:48
this tackle rug because
00:44:50
yesterday and
00:44:53
um I just remember them all coming
00:44:54
around and like leaning over the sky
00:44:55
I've been like what are you doing like
00:44:57
don't pull your hair again you know like
00:44:58
just constantly have my back and
00:45:00
um and then yeah I was just opposition
00:45:02
the opposition boy some of them would be
00:45:04
like
00:45:05
I mean you don't want to blow your own
00:45:07
trumpet but I got I used to get told I
00:45:08
was quite good um you know and some
00:45:10
couldn't believe that I was you know
00:45:11
it's probably more of a a hate that this
00:45:13
girl was better than them um yeah
00:45:15
imagine that well at what age are we
00:45:17
talking like eight oh no yeah eight nine
00:45:19
years old yeah like being stepped by a
00:45:21
girl who goes underscore a try yeah and
00:45:24
then into an intermediate age that's
00:45:26
probably the age where I really really
00:45:27
remember but yeah the boys and then the
00:45:29
boys always in my team always hand my
00:45:31
back and most of the boys in the
00:45:33
opposition it's quite funny now because
00:45:34
I I know obviously grew up into high
00:45:36
school and and met them a few of them
00:45:38
once I had to play or you know all girls
00:45:40
rugby
00:45:41
um you know and we always have a laugh
00:45:43
about it or me making the rip team over
00:45:45
them and all that kind of stuff so it's
00:45:47
quite a hard case but um yeah same
00:45:49
struggles is safe but it's more yeah the
00:45:51
parents at times are like what is she
00:45:53
doing she can't play on this team she
00:45:54
you know she's a girl but um you know I
00:45:57
just didn't let it stop me and Mum and
00:45:58
Dad didn't let it bother them either and
00:46:01
I just continued and no one really told
00:46:03
me that I couldn't there was there was
00:46:05
one year
00:46:06
um I had to drop down a grade
00:46:09
um because I was playing the same
00:46:11
position as the coach's son
00:46:13
so obviously he didn't he didn't
00:46:15
probably really like that so but I just
00:46:17
dropped down and played I couldn't put
00:46:18
up a fight and be like no but I just
00:46:20
dropped down the grade and I just played
00:46:22
that grade yeah knowing that it wasn't
00:46:23
going to be for long
00:46:25
um
00:46:26
did any of that stuff sort of hurt you
00:46:28
at the moment you look back now and you
00:46:30
think like from the perspective of an
00:46:32
adult you can look back and think that
00:46:33
there was some inappropriate stuff that
00:46:34
happened so like borderline bullying but
00:46:37
at the time did you realize that or you
00:46:38
just sort of Shake It Off I just used to
00:46:40
shake it off but then you know we just
00:46:41
talked about resilience but that's what
00:46:43
helps build resilience right as as going
00:46:45
through situations like that and
00:46:47
um yeah I probably at the time I just
00:46:49
didn't even think anything of it I just
00:46:51
absolutely loved the game like honestly
00:46:53
I love rugby so much that it would like
00:46:55
it didn't it didn't bother me I was just
00:46:56
like oh you know whatever and just kind
00:46:58
of carried on
00:46:59
um and then I think the fact that I was
00:47:01
actually half decent
00:47:03
um probably helped silence a bit of it
00:47:05
as well yeah well I suppose that's the
00:47:06
thing as soon as um this is the whistle
00:47:08
blows you can let your rugby do the
00:47:09
talking yeah yeah exactly yeah exactly
00:47:11
and we always used to have some moves
00:47:12
based around me you know because I think
00:47:14
the opposition didn't expect
00:47:16
the secretary
00:47:19
yeah but I've had always had great
00:47:20
coaches like most of the United just
00:47:23
that one but I'm majority of my I'm my
00:47:25
very first rugby coach
00:47:27
um Terry he was you know I just run
00:47:29
around when I was four years old I used
00:47:30
to run around after him I didn't know
00:47:32
what way to run on the field or anything
00:47:34
but um you know like I've just had great
00:47:36
coaches who have been really supportive
00:47:37
and and even my you know my high school
00:47:39
coach he was at the final
00:47:41
um you know and what was that yeah yeah
00:47:44
Ken lob um there was there was pretty
00:47:46
cool to have to have him have him there
00:47:48
in the crowd for semis and finals so
00:47:49
it's pretty special yeah now
00:47:52
um you mentioned this a second ago and I
00:47:54
think I saw something about this on your
00:47:55
Instagram
00:47:56
um Jordy your nephew yeah yeah so what's
00:47:59
this what's the story with Jordan yes
00:48:00
tell us about Jordy yeah so um my nephew
00:48:03
he he passed away 20 end of 2021 oh
00:48:07
recently yeah recently just when you
00:48:08
when you were on a break or had you just
00:48:10
come back no we're on India tour
00:48:12
um okay so I just went on India we're
00:48:13
not India tour with the black Ferns and
00:48:15
we're over there and you know he's 18
00:48:17
year old boy
00:48:18
um and just yeah tragically drowned um
00:48:20
back up home in the necky and I don't
00:48:22
know how I still played I found out the
00:48:25
morning of uh was our second
00:48:27
second test oh my god it feels like such
00:48:30
a blur in a way but then so vivid um
00:48:32
yeah just before one of the games and I
00:48:35
still you know I just remember getting
00:48:36
pulled into a room and our coaches and
00:48:38
management our manager had told me and I
00:48:40
was just like I've got to play like
00:48:42
there's no way I'm not going to play
00:48:43
today you know Jordy because he's a
00:48:45
rugby mad as well um he would have
00:48:47
wanted me to play and
00:48:49
um you know and then this look at this I
00:48:51
mean like no one understands I guess the
00:48:52
struggles you go through and and then
00:48:54
winning that semi-final at at Eden Park
00:48:57
you know I'm like oh my God we're going
00:48:58
to make the final after the whole year
00:49:00
of you know having to I guess grieve and
00:49:02
go through that but
00:49:04
um that was like when that kick happened
00:49:06
I know Sarah was the same because
00:49:07
obviously Sarah lost her mum recently
00:49:09
too and
00:49:10
um when she was lying up for a kick I
00:49:12
was like please Jordy please make sure
00:49:13
she misses his cook you know and then
00:49:15
Sarah said she did the same with her mum
00:49:17
you know because her mum passed away
00:49:19
recently and Iran was praying that she's
00:49:20
gonna miss a kick and then we're like oh
00:49:22
my God there's someone up there that
00:49:23
that helped us that day and you know you
00:49:26
kind of reflect on them you know and
00:49:27
then I and then we won
00:49:29
um you know it was a a year you know a
00:49:31
year since he had passed away
00:49:33
um as well on the Sunday after the World
00:49:35
Cup final so
00:49:37
um it was a lot of emotion and that's
00:49:39
what I guess for me was a part of me
00:49:41
announcing my retirement a bit earlier
00:49:42
is because imagine having to deal with
00:49:44
that with it being a year since my
00:49:46
nephew passed away world cup at home
00:49:48
there would have been so many emotions
00:49:49
floating around and it was anyway
00:49:52
um but I knew you know I felt like he
00:49:53
was with me the whole time and yeah do
00:49:55
you you know yeah I do and he's you know
00:49:57
and like I just know that he he loves he
00:50:00
just absolutely loves rugby and I know
00:50:01
how proud he would be yeah
00:50:04
I'm really sorry about that
00:50:06
that's a lot sure that's a lot to
00:50:08
process yeah it's it's been pretty
00:50:10
pretty challenging but um just managed
00:50:12
you know that's where rugby has kind of
00:50:14
helped just kind of track along so so
00:50:16
the like the day you find out
00:50:18
um when you go on to play like
00:50:20
immediately after getting used like that
00:50:22
is it one of those things where when the
00:50:25
game's in play you can own you're in the
00:50:27
moment and you're thinking about that
00:50:28
and then when there's a stoppage that's
00:50:29
when he comes into your mind yep so it
00:50:31
was like I went into like survival mode
00:50:33
and yeah and I can almost fear my body
00:50:35
and overdrive and then it wasn't until I
00:50:38
got subbed I remember getting subbed on
00:50:40
that test and I sat down and just lost
00:50:42
it on the bench
00:50:43
um and it's hard because I think people
00:50:45
might have thoughts because we don't
00:50:46
play very well we lost and we were
00:50:48
losing at that time but it was literally
00:50:50
it was just like it was my only chance
00:50:51
to really like let it out and
00:50:54
um you know obviously those those
00:50:56
teammates are here are your best mates
00:50:58
you know so it's really nice to be
00:51:00
around the team and they were so good
00:51:01
like holy heck they were an epic group
00:51:03
and um and that you know that really
00:51:05
helped me especially because I couldn't
00:51:07
get home for the funeral because we had
00:51:08
miq oh and all that kind of stuff so and
00:51:12
then having to come back and do seven
00:51:13
days and that and not you know like that
00:51:15
there was some tough tough times in
00:51:17
there but I had so much so much support
00:51:21
yeah what sort of support are you
00:51:23
talking about like teammates yeah just
00:51:24
yeah teammates and then yeah most
00:51:32
yeah most people and then just the
00:51:33
amount of support from all my friends
00:51:34
and that and I was just more feeling
00:51:36
guilty because my you know my sister I
00:51:39
couldn't get home to my sister and then
00:51:40
because you had to do seven days and
00:51:42
then you had to do those three days at
00:51:43
home you know so you do I do and then I
00:51:46
was so I was in the neck here and then I
00:51:47
was like I still can't see my sister for
00:51:49
three more days you know because I had
00:51:51
to make sure I was doing that the
00:51:52
isolation piece but um yeah how's your
00:51:55
sister in the family now that's a it's a
00:51:57
lot yeah up and down as you can imagine
00:52:00
um it's it's never easy
00:52:02
um but um yeah everyone's doing okay I
00:52:05
guess it's probably the best way to put
00:52:06
it I suppose you just have to I just one
00:52:09
foot in front of the other day by day
00:52:10
yeah yeah
00:52:13
wow
00:52:16
yeah that's a lot
00:52:18
um so the mental skills coach what like
00:52:19
what do they do with you I love Yeah
00:52:21
quantity is awesome is it just like a
00:52:23
psychologist yeah yeah yeah yeah he's um
00:52:25
like for me he's around performance like
00:52:28
like in terms of
00:52:29
um performance like skills around
00:52:31
performing and and like that's why I
00:52:33
spoke I remember talking to him around
00:52:34
when I was going to have this break and
00:52:35
I was like this is what's there's so
00:52:37
much going on and this is how I'm
00:52:39
feeling it's probably almost a little
00:52:40
bit of self-doubt that was going on in
00:52:42
there as well at times around am I still
00:52:44
got enough should I am I getting too old
00:52:46
should I wear retiring you know and and
00:52:48
you know like when he just reassured
00:52:50
that my behaviors were because I had
00:52:52
been around for a long time and and that
00:52:55
it's okay to take a break because then I
00:52:56
took the break and then I'm going oh my
00:52:58
God what happens if I don't get selected
00:52:59
you know it's like this wasn't that line
00:53:01
of work it is a real threat that some
00:53:03
Young Guns going to come along yeah
00:53:04
it'll be interesting having another
00:53:05
conversation with with him um I guess
00:53:08
around the patterns that I've kind of
00:53:10
gone through
00:53:12
um but always there if I ever need to
00:53:14
have a yarn caught up with them a couple
00:53:15
of times a couple of times and during
00:53:17
World Cup but just around like you know
00:53:19
um big things around setting goals and
00:53:21
mindset and we talk about blue head
00:53:23
redhead and and talk about how how to
00:53:26
get yourself in terms of what's your
00:53:27
process to get you when you're in get
00:53:28
you out of the red when you're in it
00:53:30
it's a Reds when you're when you're like
00:53:32
a phrase yeah when you come in control
00:53:35
yeah yeah what did you do what was your
00:53:37
trick or technique yeah so I've worked
00:53:39
heavily on it over the last few years
00:53:41
but I actually just um I I twist both of
00:53:44
my wrists
00:53:45
um just like this which is quite funny
00:53:47
so like if I'm frazzled and some or
00:53:49
sometimes I'll just clap and that just
00:53:50
brings me back
00:53:51
um and I've I've pushed so many girls
00:53:54
and it's still something they were
00:53:55
probably still learning is as
00:53:57
individuals as how important it is to
00:53:59
have a process to get you out of out of
00:54:01
that and you know a lot of people I
00:54:02
think you know Karen Reed was one that
00:54:04
would just look at a distance in the
00:54:06
stand some pick up grass you know
00:54:09
there's a lot of different I guess
00:54:10
techniques people use but mine was
00:54:12
either yeah I collect but more just kind
00:54:14
of grabbing my wrist and just twist seen
00:54:16
them and they've been like all right
00:54:18
let's you know let's go and because I
00:54:20
could show like and probably the last
00:54:22
couple years I got pretty good at it but
00:54:23
I used to show my frustrations quite a
00:54:25
lot on the field
00:54:27
um so and I had to stop that because it
00:54:29
was it wasn't necessarily at people it
00:54:31
was more probably at myself right it was
00:54:33
like others would see it and think it
00:54:35
like if someone could drop the bomb like
00:54:36
what the heck you know but um you just
00:54:38
kind of learned to that there are
00:54:40
anything yes that's like we were talking
00:54:42
before when you missed that kick in 2008
00:54:44
how some of the girls you became that
00:54:46
girl yeah yeah pretty much so it was um
00:54:48
oh it's understandable yeah but everyone
00:54:51
even the person that makes the mistake
00:54:53
in a team sport they I mean they still
00:54:55
want want to win as well yeah exactly
00:54:57
and I think yeah I think for me too like
00:55:00
um for
00:55:01
in terms of like going throughout the
00:55:03
week like I have massive on Preparation
00:55:05
so like if I've got my prep right I know
00:55:07
I'm going to be okay whereas if I'm
00:55:09
scrambling which hasn't happened for a
00:55:11
very long time
00:55:12
um I know that it's not going to be it's
00:55:14
not going to be good so I'm very very
00:55:15
strict on my in my preparation yeah all
00:55:18
right that's worked well so you
00:55:19
mentioned Aaron Aaron Smith before you
00:55:21
guys you're in the same position yeah so
00:55:23
you both have bags
00:55:25
um he's probably the most successful all
00:55:27
black half-back ever the most capped
00:55:29
yeah um are you guys how long have you
00:55:31
been friends yeah so we're just
00:55:32
communicate every now and then it's been
00:55:34
a massive support and so is TJ so it
00:55:36
must be a half back thing eh um stick
00:55:38
together I guess yeah yeah and hashtag
00:55:40
nine gang
00:55:41
um we're um yeah I don't know like I've
00:55:44
just you know over the past just um as
00:55:46
the All Blacks and black ferns are kind
00:55:47
of connected a little bit more that's
00:55:48
where is it just of a recent thing yeah
00:55:50
it's probably more recent than anything
00:55:52
um and you know they're both being
00:55:53
massive supporters of the game and
00:55:55
um you know he's always he's always
00:55:57
supportive even through when the World
00:55:59
Cup got announced here in New Zealand he
00:56:00
was a big part of of that and and
00:56:02
getting people to get in behind us and
00:56:04
hugely supportive but um he's always
00:56:06
willing to answer any questions if I've
00:56:08
got any and
00:56:10
um no he's he's been awesome I haven't
00:56:12
you know I haven't had a chance to
00:56:13
really do any like full-on skills with
00:56:15
them in the past because it's just that
00:56:16
crossover it's hard when you know
00:56:18
they're so busy and we are as well but
00:56:20
um you know they'd always offer passing
00:56:22
sessions and that but it's just never
00:56:23
never really could happen but
00:56:25
um I think that connection there is
00:56:26
hugely important and
00:56:28
um we know the majority of those guys
00:56:30
you know already severe Sam whitelock in
00:56:32
that early so Cody Taylor always really
00:56:34
supportive of of the women's game yeah
00:56:36
oh that's really awesome
00:56:37
um have you got do you get the bonus
00:56:40
have you got the bonus
00:56:41
um you guys this is not something that
00:56:43
you this was like a surprise so you get
00:56:45
25 000 yeah age yeah um but you didn't
00:56:48
know about that during the tournament
00:56:49
there was just like an afterthought yeah
00:56:50
so that's that's just happened recently
00:56:52
it's just been announced and
00:56:54
um you know we've gone from having
00:56:55
nothing to having that so the girls are
00:56:57
absolutely stoked um you know we're 25k
00:57:00
richer than what we were when we first
00:57:01
wanted to ask about that is it do you
00:57:04
like have you got a new bank yet is it
00:57:06
taxed do you have to give 10 to someone
00:57:08
or don't know any of that detail just
00:57:10
yet I'd be asking all these questions
00:57:12
yeah I think you know we'll find out
00:57:15
then in due course I think it comes
00:57:16
through at the end of the month but
00:57:18
um yeah we'll probably get that but
00:57:20
information come through in the next
00:57:21
probably a week or so around what that
00:57:23
looks like but um yeah I'll probably be
00:57:25
booking a really good holiday or I'm
00:57:26
thinking about getting a new roof on my
00:57:28
house so maybe
00:57:29
I probably should do something better
00:57:31
with it then just putting a roof on the
00:57:33
house you know it's it's money you
00:57:35
didn't know you're going to have so
00:57:36
um whatever that looks like I'll have a
00:57:37
think about it oh it would be nice to
00:57:39
know that Kendrick oxygen has got a roof
00:57:40
over here but it sounds way worse where
00:57:44
do you live you live in Christchurch
00:57:45
yeah yeah who do you live with yes I've
00:57:47
got my flatmate um diet she she's uh
00:57:49
she's a half back and the other half
00:57:51
back for Canterbury um so she you know I
00:57:53
I kind of had Grace Brooker was with me
00:57:55
last year who was a black Fern in
00:57:57
Canterbury teammate as well and then um
00:58:00
Grace moved on out and and then and then
00:58:02
die moved on earlier this year and
00:58:04
um you know she's she's been great it's
00:58:06
so nice honestly so nice having someone
00:58:08
in your house when you're not there you
00:58:10
know as I'm constantly like oh my God
00:58:11
hopefully my house is all right I've got
00:58:13
cameras as well like outdoor cameras so
00:58:16
I'm only checking on it but I don't have
00:58:18
to worry about it stick them on your
00:58:19
phone yeah oh God yeah so I didn't even
00:58:21
have to worry about any of that with her
00:58:22
with her and there and you know it was
00:58:24
funny because we're both half picks but
00:58:25
we never really talked too much about
00:58:27
about the game but now I've stopped
00:58:29
playing you know I'm obviously Keen to
00:58:31
help her with wherever she needs that
00:58:32
for which is Canterbury and matatu for
00:58:35
obviously for opeiki so
00:58:37
um yeah hopefully support her and
00:58:38
whatever she needed you know as a half
00:58:41
back yeah I I understand the research
00:58:43
for this chat like I am I read a lot of
00:58:45
articles about you some Women's Day
00:58:47
stories and stuff but I you seem
00:58:48
intensely private like I don't know
00:58:51
anything anything about you or is there
00:58:52
just nothing to know no I'm I'm not
00:58:54
really I'm not really that I'm not that
00:58:56
private well maybe I am I'm not sure
00:58:57
like I don't feel like I feel like I've
00:58:59
done a lot of podcasts since I've played
00:59:01
around that and and whatnot but um I'm
00:59:04
not so super private of people you know
00:59:06
I talk probably more quite close friends
00:59:09
and yeah and family um but yeah just
00:59:11
kind of truck along and if people and I
00:59:14
think that I'll ask and yeah yeah
00:59:16
otherwise I just kind of stick on and
00:59:18
because I've been so tunnel vision like
00:59:19
I was thinking have you just just just
00:59:21
just yes
00:59:23
bling is on like I just literally this
00:59:25
year I've like really
00:59:28
um like just hardly communicate with
00:59:31
people that I usually would because I
00:59:32
you know but they understand like after
00:59:33
now they're like can we catch up you
00:59:35
know and I'm like they're like can we do
00:59:36
this community then I just kind of
00:59:37
Silence that but now I'm like is she
00:59:39
texting everybody I'm retired no it's
00:59:42
Tuesday night
00:59:44
um hi how good yeah so it's um yeah and
00:59:47
I do I'm fully aware of our tunnel and
00:59:49
but the year's just gone so quick and
00:59:51
now that with one I'm just like that's
00:59:53
then it makes it all worthwhile you know
00:59:55
like all that kind of stuff oh God yeah
00:59:56
it means all the sacrifices and
00:59:58
everything else has been worth it yeah
00:59:59
and I had to be really careful too
01:00:01
because I know like for me my family and
01:00:03
friends are hugely important for me and
01:00:05
my and filling up my cup so it was just
01:00:07
I wasn't neglecting because I had done
01:00:09
that in the past you know I've just gone
01:00:10
and that's probably when I was going
01:00:12
through mental fatigue I went real
01:00:13
narrow and wasn't really communicating
01:00:15
with friends and connecting because I
01:00:17
was just so
01:00:18
um you know so in a space where I just
01:00:20
didn't want to even do rugby but um I
01:00:22
think that's a that's a mental health
01:00:24
thing hey like a lot of people they you
01:00:25
start to sort of isolate sort of isolate
01:00:27
a little bit which is not healthy yeah
01:00:29
so then I knew how important it was it
01:00:30
was just probably I just went a little
01:00:31
bit narrow with her I was communicate
01:00:33
with and you know my phone's it was it
01:00:35
was running hot um quite a lot yeah
01:00:38
through World Cup and I was just like
01:00:39
and even post like I feel guilty now
01:00:41
that I haven't replied to everybody but
01:00:43
I'll get there in the next couple of
01:00:44
months I'm sure people understand and um
01:00:47
so the next chapter of your life how's
01:00:48
How's that gonna look I'm are you
01:00:51
worried that um you might have like post
01:00:53
like almost like a post rugby sort of
01:00:55
depression or slump like it's such a big
01:00:57
part of your life and it has been for so
01:00:59
many decades obviously you're still
01:01:00
connected with the sport yeah
01:01:02
um yeah you're gonna miss it yeah I have
01:01:05
a I do have a fear of of that I had when
01:01:07
I was announcing my time and I have a
01:01:08
fear of what life's like without rugby
01:01:10
in terms of playing the game
01:01:11
um I am also really excited about my
01:01:15
next chapter so I think we're all gonna
01:01:17
have a low at some point like that all
01:01:19
the girls it sounds like yeah
01:01:21
it's probably like being on driving on
01:01:23
haven't been on drugs but it'd be like a
01:01:25
drug right like being on this massive
01:01:26
high and then you know you're going to
01:01:28
come down at some stage and you get a
01:01:29
bit of post-tour Blues um currently I'm
01:01:31
still riding right in the house
01:01:34
but I think you know but then we get to
01:01:36
go on to Christmas and in New York like
01:01:38
it might not really kick into a post
01:01:40
there yeah
01:01:41
um but um I think maybe next year when
01:01:43
the Black fence reassemble what do you
01:01:44
think yeah so I think that's probably my
01:01:46
biggest thing or even Mata too so the
01:01:47
super oh picky starts end of Feb
01:01:50
um and I think that's probably a time
01:01:51
where all the girls start training
01:01:52
Getting Back Together that'll kick and
01:01:53
that I'm not going to be playing anymore
01:01:55
but um I'm also really excited about
01:01:58
going back into my job with New Zealand
01:02:00
Rugby um so I'm woman's participation
01:02:02
manager for the south island and so now
01:02:05
because we've just won this world cup
01:02:06
every young girl and every young boy is
01:02:08
hopefully going to want to play the game
01:02:09
and I get to be involved in that in my
01:02:11
job so I'm still connected to rugby and
01:02:13
I think that helps yes I think some
01:02:16
girls aren't connected could find it
01:02:18
really really challenging
01:02:20
um yeah so yeah so I think they'll be
01:02:22
they'll definitely be I've post World
01:02:25
Cup blues at some stage or oh my gosh
01:02:27
you're not playing anymore but you know
01:02:29
even yesterday or might have been two
01:02:30
days ago when the opicky squads got
01:02:32
named and the Mata 2 Team came up and my
01:02:34
name wasn't I was like that's kind of
01:02:35
weird you know like you kind of forget
01:02:37
that so I don't know if it's kicked in
01:02:39
yet or not that I'm not going to be
01:02:40
playing but yeah well what a way to what
01:02:43
a way to end it yeah Regatta I mean I'm
01:02:45
sure you'll be fine yeah as you said
01:02:46
you're still connected on the sport and
01:02:48
what about um personal goal set do you
01:02:49
you hope to have a family of you yeah
01:02:52
um yeah so currently is currently single
01:02:54
um also being so tunnel vision just
01:02:56
focusing on on Rugby you know for the
01:02:58
years but um yeah hopefully find a fine
01:03:00
husband and have have kids that at um at
01:03:03
some stage I've got nieces and nephews
01:03:05
and I absolutely love adore them um you
01:03:08
know I love being love being Auntie but
01:03:09
also love giving them back but um but no
01:03:12
yeah some at some stage I'd love to love
01:03:14
to be able to have that yeah well what
01:03:16
steps are we mate are we on Tinder we on
01:03:17
Bumble they're deactivated
01:03:21
well it's quite funny so I remember um
01:03:23
just during the uh or just before the
01:03:25
2011 Rugby World Cup uh Richie McCall
01:03:28
was in a relationship and he him and his
01:03:29
girlfriend broke up and he said it's
01:03:30
because he wanted to focus on the World
01:03:32
Cup yeah and at the time I remember
01:03:33
thinking good excuse to get out of a
01:03:35
relationship that you're not really into
01:03:36
but in hindsight like he was so focused
01:03:39
and so determined it's probably true
01:03:40
yeah it probably is true is it like that
01:03:42
for you you just like that single-minded
01:03:44
Focus I've always been single-minded and
01:03:46
I just didn't want any distractions um
01:03:48
and now I've always I've always been
01:03:49
just been like then you know people were
01:03:51
saying to me oh why are you retiring I
01:03:52
was like because I need to have a life
01:03:54
like otherwise I'm just going to be yeah
01:03:56
I just want to be like an ordinary human
01:03:59
living everyday life like I think about
01:04:02
you know when I when I'm going back to
01:04:03
work full time and I'm like what does a
01:04:05
human even do after five o'clock like
01:04:07
you go home like what do you do like
01:04:09
because I'm just so used to going off
01:04:11
the training or and I probably will
01:04:12
still be obviously playing touch and
01:04:15
um and squash and exercising and stuff
01:04:17
but if I I get to wake up and if it's
01:04:19
rainy and cold and shitty Christchurch
01:04:20
day I don't know which it is
01:04:25
I'm kissing like you're the sort of
01:04:27
person you're still going to keep keep
01:04:28
incredibly fit and healthy and active
01:04:30
yeah I'm Real Kane um I actually want to
01:04:33
do I don't want to be like cliche Richie
01:04:35
McCaw but I'm real Keen to do like a
01:04:36
better Adventure
01:04:38
um reacting like I want to do like
01:04:39
spring style spring Challenge and I
01:04:41
would love to do the coast to coast but
01:04:43
no real
01:04:44
um just to say I've done it and just
01:04:46
because I've always just got to have a
01:04:48
challenge I think and have something
01:04:49
there to
01:04:50
um but I like currently right now I
01:04:52
don't want to think about that I'd be
01:04:53
like I'm like no I just want to do
01:04:55
nothing for the next month
01:04:57
um but um already well already signed up
01:04:59
for a touch team playing tomorrow night
01:05:01
back in Christchurch and bought a squash
01:05:03
racket yesterday so um I think have you
01:05:06
played squash before yeah I used to play
01:05:08
when I was when I was younger um at high
01:05:10
school and then I went to Christchurch
01:05:11
and in rugby and Cricket took over my
01:05:13
life so squash got put to the back but
01:05:16
um I'm gonna start it up again I don't
01:05:18
know how the body's gonna deal with it
01:05:19
I'm worried about Achilles because
01:05:21
everyone ruptures Hercules but
01:05:27
[Music]
01:05:32
um you know like even snowboarding like
01:05:33
I've never been snowboarding before
01:05:35
because you've never been allowed to
01:05:36
because it's an injury risk no yeah
01:05:38
injury risk yeah for being a contracted
01:05:39
player but also just I've never wanted
01:05:41
to go and do it because of the injury
01:05:43
risk um so there's those things that I
01:05:46
want to you know I want to try and do
01:05:47
and I'm really looking forward to that
01:05:50
um yeah oh my God it seems like um I
01:05:53
mean you've just ended this incredible
01:05:55
oh yeah
01:05:59
no I was gonna call it a chapter but it
01:06:01
would be unfit to call it a chapter it's
01:06:03
like you've closed a book on this
01:06:04
[ __ ] epic career
01:06:06
um but now like the rest of your life is
01:06:08
Unwritten and there's uh there's so much
01:06:10
that you can and I'm sure you will do
01:06:12
yeah and I've always been quite like um
01:06:14
I'm a yellow dog which means I'm like
01:06:16
I'm not really ICD but I have Pros you
01:06:18
know I'll have things that I like to get
01:06:19
through I'm very organized time
01:06:21
Management's great
01:06:23
um you know but like now I actually just
01:06:24
don't have to organize right anything
01:06:27
like I've Got Friends organizing me at
01:06:28
the moment well when I'm gonna go for
01:06:29
dinner I'm like you just let me know
01:06:31
like you know because usually I'm the
01:06:33
one that's like booking the pleasure
01:06:34
dinner or something so I'm just like
01:06:35
trying to just go with the whatever go
01:06:38
with the flow how's that working out for
01:06:39
you yeah it's it's interesting I don't
01:06:41
think it will last long
01:06:42
you can't you can't change your
01:06:44
personality and what about with the
01:06:47
sports stuff so like say touch rugby
01:06:48
squash what it multi-sport whatever you
01:06:51
happen to do well you better do it just
01:06:53
for fun or is there like a is it like a
01:06:56
fire in your sport
01:06:57
I'm gonna go to the Masters games and
01:07:00
we'll go to the Olympics or Commonwealth
01:07:01
Games on lawn bowls or something what
01:07:03
about Cricket what about some more
01:07:05
Cricket yeah at a social level like
01:07:06
Twilight yeah I've already been asked I
01:07:08
was asked even basically the day I
01:07:10
announced my retirement and went out to
01:07:11
the public I got a message I've been
01:07:13
like you want to come back and play
01:07:14
cricket so I might like don't have a
01:07:16
game of like 20 20 down in Christchurch
01:07:18
a bit of social on a Friday night and
01:07:20
probably go more for the Social and the
01:07:22
drinks um
01:07:24
um but yeah yeah well you better do that
01:07:26
do it for the Social and the drinks
01:07:28
yeah I fight under one so there's no
01:07:31
well there's no such thing as social
01:07:32
sport but I've played social and or
01:07:35
netball and it ended up me having a
01:07:37
fight with like a 40 year old man
01:07:40
so we'll see how it goes oh you're the
01:07:43
best hey um well thank you so much for
01:07:46
um everything you've done for sport in
01:07:48
this country and I'm I'm really really
01:07:49
pleased that you you got to be around
01:07:51
through all the [ __ ] time and end at a
01:07:54
time where things are like on a I think
01:07:56
on a turning point and getting really
01:07:57
really good yeah I feel honestly I feel
01:07:59
so good to be a part of that yeah
01:08:01
and when people ask me why am I timeline
01:08:03
I've just got to experience the greatest
01:08:05
of all like I've gone from having
01:08:06
children professional like and now I get
01:08:09
to sit back and see where it goes yeah
01:08:11
obviously you didn't want to seem like
01:08:12
the grumpy old grumpy old hag in the
01:08:14
team but I probably won't stop but did
01:08:16
you say that some of the some of the the
01:08:18
young girls in the rising stars of the
01:08:19
team like okay it hasn't always been
01:08:21
this way this is really good yeah yeah
01:08:22
we um we had a good process this year of
01:08:25
um
01:08:25
for our Jersey presentations getting
01:08:28
and I love that because I'm like some of
01:08:30
these girls coming through don't
01:08:31
understand the Legacy
01:08:33
um behind the juicy and and the history
01:08:36
of it so you know having the likes Anna
01:08:38
Richardson who's an absolute Legend like
01:08:40
we had players that didn't even know who
01:08:41
she was
01:08:42
um you know so we've got to keep that
01:08:44
and I hope whoever takes over that role
01:08:47
um still brings out that history and
01:08:49
that Legacy through because that's
01:08:50
probably what's helped us and driven us
01:08:52
heaps this year is understanding where
01:08:54
it's going to come from but you don't
01:08:56
want to be that one that's got a chip on
01:08:57
the shoulder of being like Oh we never
01:08:58
got it that way like I'm not going to be
01:09:00
that person I'm just stoked to see the
01:09:02
growth and the change yeah that's
01:09:03
amazing and I'm embarrassed to say I
01:09:05
don't I don't know who Anna Richardson
01:09:06
is Anna Richards you've got a name
01:09:12
well I played with her she played for a
01:09:14
long time I played with her when I first
01:09:16
made the team in 2007 she was my first
01:09:18
five um she's an absolute legendary I
01:09:21
mean it's terrible that I don't know who
01:09:22
she is but that that that's on me but I
01:09:24
suppose I mean that's where things are
01:09:25
at now like and it's quite exciting to
01:09:27
think that it's probably young kids out
01:09:28
there that are playing in the backyard
01:09:29
and they're being Kendrick oxage yeah
01:09:36
I had probably
01:09:37
no I was um I loved Christian Carl and I
01:09:41
growing up I got to meet him recently
01:09:43
for when I worked for sky and I was so
01:09:45
Starstruck and it's so funny being this
01:09:46
I would have been starched right uh with
01:09:49
a plan that you actually absolutely
01:09:50
loved but I used to be every player and
01:09:52
then you know as soon as I found out
01:09:53
about black fans I you know I wanted to
01:09:55
be a medium martial or Casey Robinson or
01:09:57
Anna Richards but you know now you know
01:09:59
there are even young boys now I've heard
01:10:02
a couple of stories over the last week
01:10:04
around them saying they're in the
01:10:05
backyard and they can hear their sons
01:10:06
being like Oh I'm a ruby Tui or a
01:10:09
Porsche Woodman or you know or or Kendra
01:10:12
coxy yeah
01:10:14
or saying that um oh do you want to be
01:10:16
able to all black Grinnell mom I'm going
01:10:18
to be a black fan like I've heard
01:10:19
multiple stories this weekend it's
01:10:21
honestly incredible
01:10:22
um and for me too like I'm walking
01:10:24
around and the people that are coming up
01:10:26
to me are that generation that probably
01:10:28
grew up not like that or a woman's rugby
01:10:32
you shouldn't be playing women's rugby
01:10:34
so I'm getting a lot from that
01:10:35
generation saying shaking my hand and
01:10:37
just saying how amazing and the quality
01:10:39
of rugby that we're playing and to me
01:10:41
that's we've changed mindsets and that's
01:10:42
what's changed but I think that's what
01:10:44
the changes is the mindsets of people
01:10:45
yeah and that's on you yeah that's on
01:10:48
you yeah on the team so yeah yeah with
01:10:50
the team as well but yeah I mean you've
01:10:52
been through there through through that
01:10:53
seismic change over so many years yeah
01:10:55
and um can't thank you enough for
01:10:57
everything you've done for this country
01:10:59
and thank you so much for coming around
01:11:01
and being on the podcast today really
01:11:02
really appreciate it that's all right no
01:11:03
problem at all Kendra Cox age go Kendra
01:11:05
did you get that when you're growing up
01:11:07
when you remember when Kendra was on TV
01:11:09
with Hugh Hefner no don't you no Kendra
01:11:14
yeah
01:11:17
because Kendra's not a real well-known
01:11:19
name
01:11:20
[Music]
01:11:23
no all right okay
01:11:26
um we'll eat it here but if there if any
01:11:28
um roofing companies in Christchurch are
01:11:29
listening and um you're Keen for some
01:11:31
Instagram posts in exchange for a new
01:11:33
roof hit your girl Kendra up yeah
01:11:35
definitely what's wrong with the road
01:11:37
it's just oh there's nothing wrong with
01:11:38
it it's not leaking or anything it's
01:11:39
fine I just want to get a new one
01:11:41
because sometimes the birds are hanging
01:11:43
around at the moment you're annoying
01:11:49
thank you
01:11:51
[Music]
