00:00:01
all right so Ed O'Neill this was the
00:00:03
first interview we did for this show and
00:00:06
one of my all-time favorite episodes
00:00:08
because of Ed and his charm and
00:00:10
everything else and David before we get
00:00:12
into that didn't you have a technical
00:00:14
issue oh I had a microphone wasn't a
00:00:17
microphone problem it was a problem with
00:00:18
me because it was our first one and it
00:00:20
was I mean this this one is our first
00:00:23
one so it's been you know the problem is
00:00:26
it fell between my seats and I just
00:00:29
found it the other day recording device
00:00:30
yeah so we were supposed to click record
00:00:33
and it fell between the seats and so
00:00:35
your sound is just going over the
00:00:37
computer so it's a little distant but
00:00:39
but well heard right no I found this
00:00:42
whole episode in between so I said oh we
00:00:44
should air this we never heard this Dana
00:00:45
and I said and so we no we have it and
00:00:49
Ed was by the way Ed we both know him
00:00:51
pretty well super cool guy was our first
00:00:53
one so it was experimental but he jumped
00:00:56
right in said of course I want to do
00:00:57
this and we talked a little about SNL
00:01:00
but we mostly talked about how
00:01:02
interesting his life is I became
00:01:04
fascinated by because I kind of had a
00:01:06
sense he's an East Coast tough character
00:01:09
and he almost played professional
00:01:10
football and he was almost a made man
00:01:12
anyway yeah his his forearms are popped
00:01:15
by forearms and there's a certain kind
00:01:18
of power to him he just doesn't need
00:01:21
show business but he's had Married with
00:01:23
Children he's had Modern Family he's had
00:01:25
this huge career but he's so eccentric
00:01:27
and he is an extremely
00:01:30
intense Brazil Brazilian Jiu Jitsu yeah
00:01:33
it's like a belly guy yeah and I called
00:01:36
him after the podcast and we talked for
00:01:38
an hour about the technique of that of
00:01:40
getting someone on their feet and laying
00:01:41
your body oh just just you know like a
00:01:44
street fight He he'll take you in a
00:01:45
second it just shows you you just never
00:01:46
know he's he's built like a truck he's
00:01:49
like a Joe Rogan him he's tough like you
00:01:51
don't want to get in a fight with him no
00:01:53
no no
00:01:54
regulate on the set remember we talked
00:01:56
about that which one if somebody gets
00:01:58
out of hand uh yeah he's the go-to guy
00:02:01
and uh somebody it needs to be slapped
00:02:03
around but he has no ego about it and he
00:02:06
doesn't he's not like a normal show
00:02:08
business person it's like something he
00:02:10
does he's great at and he said he just
00:02:12
lives one day at a time I said when
00:02:14
you're getting famous and he talks all
00:02:16
about that so I Get Married with
00:02:17
Children too yeah yeah and he's so funny
00:02:19
in that so it was a really interesting
00:02:21
interview I would not click off right
00:02:23
now if I were you no I would stay tuned
00:02:26
hey that's what we do fly on the wall
00:02:28
click on yeah there are any omelette but
00:02:31
just keep it on yeah okay you're gonna
00:02:34
reveal some stuff that you've not seen
00:02:36
and or heard in other podcasts or
00:02:37
interviews so enjoy Ed O'Neill
00:02:44
[Music]
00:02:47
by the way first of all I want to hear
00:02:48
Ed's story of when he met
00:02:51
Lauren before the show alone that never
00:02:54
happens oh oh um yeah well you know the
00:02:57
traditional thing right the dinner at
00:02:59
that Italian restaurant in the in the
00:03:01
Theater District yeah or so but that's
00:03:04
usually padded with
00:03:07
cast like Tuesday night when we're
00:03:09
writing and supposed to be writing no
00:03:11
this was like this was like Wednesday or
00:03:14
Thursday
00:03:15
and he wanted to have you know take me
00:03:17
to dinner and you know bring your wife
00:03:19
along hungry so we went downstairs and
00:03:23
uh you know it was the three of us
00:03:26
and uh it was great you know good food
00:03:29
but we we didn't have anything to talk
00:03:31
about I mean he didn't want to do
00:03:32
anything he didn't want to get near
00:03:34
Married with Children you know that was
00:03:36
like forget that
00:03:38
so he was trying to figure out what to
00:03:40
do with me which was basically you know
00:03:42
nothing I mean it was like
00:03:44
well I said just throw me in skits with
00:03:47
some of the
00:03:48
the people you know just throw me in and
00:03:50
that's what he did and that that's
00:03:51
that's what happened but it was very I
00:03:54
mean
00:03:54
usually I can think of something to talk
00:03:57
about
00:03:57
but I had a difficult time with Lauren
00:04:00
well that also is tough but I would go I
00:04:03
would be assigned because I was sort of
00:04:04
like the class clown everyone hated
00:04:06
writing on Tuesday and that was usually
00:04:09
the dinner that I went to and then Mario
00:04:10
she would come around and go Lauren
00:04:12
would she go to dinner and I'd be with
00:04:13
my legal Pat huh and it would take you
00:04:16
out of writing because it's right in the
00:04:17
heart of the eight to ten right yeah and
00:04:20
then he wants you he wants day and I
00:04:22
wants Mike Meyer you know he just go
00:04:23
around and pick and choose and then they
00:04:25
would say no because they could and I'd
00:04:27
have to say yes because it's more I was
00:04:28
newer yeah that was a very interesting
00:04:30
experience I can't say I liked it it was
00:04:33
it was um
00:04:34
I can't say I liked it I didn't like it
00:04:37
no I didn't like it because first of all
00:04:39
I didn't like cue cards and I didn't
00:04:41
like
00:04:42
uh the whole process of the first show
00:04:45
and then they you know you you get
00:04:47
together with you guys and you you know
00:04:50
you're trying to get their bit in and
00:04:52
you hate to tell them what you know well
00:04:54
which one do you like you like uh
00:04:56
David's better than Dana's or you know
00:04:58
yeah
00:05:00
what luckily they do that behind closed
00:05:03
doors they they take the host just for
00:05:05
for the people at home by the way I
00:05:07
wasn't on when Ed was there I don't
00:05:08
think I think Dana was I was you did
00:05:11
Wayne's World with us that's right
00:05:12
that's right yeah I did and that wasn't
00:05:15
so bad
00:05:21
um
00:05:22
the girls you know I I forget which ones
00:05:25
are Sweeney's sister yeah yeah yeah
00:05:27
exactly yeah
00:05:29
I actually thought they were funny how
00:05:32
very funny yeah Sweeney Citrus is funny
00:05:34
I like that one yeah and then I did
00:05:36
something with uh
00:05:39
oh I can't remember them all I mean I
00:05:41
mean it was Lovitz was around
00:05:43
well last season eat a Sketcher no is
00:05:47
that a rumor no no we did a thing on on
00:05:49
on the uh the Tyrant that was in uh
00:05:52
what country you know oh God yes it was
00:05:55
Noriega it was I the church lady in that
00:05:58
and no it wasn't Noriega it was oh no it
00:06:01
wasn't Noriega to he but but Lovett's
00:06:03
played the dictator right yeah no no the
00:06:06
dictator was dead in a coffin and we
00:06:08
were standing oh okay
00:06:10
I'm getting warmer everybody was
00:06:13
pretending they were upset you know with
00:06:15
this murderous you know [ __ ] guy it
00:06:18
was actually kind of funny I mean it
00:06:19
really it was
00:06:20
but I just didn't I just felt like an
00:06:23
eight ball you know like why am I here
00:06:25
you know and I think I was just there
00:06:27
because Mark said put him on the show
00:06:29
you know yeah you're famous that's your
00:06:31
fault and he talked like that when he
00:06:33
was 28. put him on this show Mark he's a
00:06:36
good guy Mark you know what one of the
00:06:38
reasons in a philosophical quasi serious
00:06:42
thing is that I don't know if SNL was
00:06:44
unintentionally sometimes a live reality
00:06:46
show because you're taking Wayne Gretzky
00:06:49
and saying hey do 10 live comedy
00:06:53
sketches hockey man with cue cards and
00:06:56
no rehearsal the one that because I
00:06:59
hosted it after being a cast member and
00:07:01
it was awful you're just in so many
00:07:03
things you're pulled so many ways and
00:07:05
it's just a blur but so you could feel
00:07:08
better Ed I've been in the slats during
00:07:10
the commercial break and seen Michael
00:07:12
Jordan the Michael Jordan kind of like
00:07:15
uh okay what are we gonna do here you
00:07:18
know I said just look at the car yeah
00:07:21
Christopher Walken ignored the protocol
00:07:24
so when he was first hosting he just I'm
00:07:27
in I I'm the church that he said I'm
00:07:29
looking at him he never looked at me he
00:07:31
just looked straight at the card and
00:07:32
never moved his head and read it
00:07:34
directly off the cards and it was
00:07:36
perfect you know he was on the week
00:07:39
after me
00:07:41
remember we
00:07:42
did tell that story I was I wasn't there
00:07:44
but you know when he when uh Lauren
00:07:47
asked them what you know if he had
00:07:48
anything he thought was yeah the thing
00:07:50
about the bears bears are funny likewise
00:07:52
bear suits best of funny and bears as
00:07:57
well and if you break it down it's
00:07:59
brilliant his brain went a bear funny
00:08:02
circus bear oh yeah but a guy in a bear
00:08:04
suit is funny as well but I remember
00:08:06
when he came in he goes side O'Neil
00:08:09
never look at the cods just look at him
00:08:12
the whole time never moved your head
00:08:14
well he had that brilliant brilliant bit
00:08:16
about Mr Mr Belvedere whatever that was
00:08:19
that guy all right walking around was
00:08:21
that the Continental yeah yeah I thought
00:08:24
that was great point of view yeah yeah
00:08:26
but Chris is just Chris is he's he's
00:08:29
great he's out there I did a movie with
00:08:31
them years ago I did Dogs of War
00:08:34
with uh Tom Beringer and Chris Walken
00:08:37
and I was one of the mercenaries you
00:08:38
know and
00:08:39
it was it was fun it was fun he's sweet
00:08:43
he's just so different I love the guy do
00:08:46
you have time for a quick story and I'll
00:08:48
tell you when you're done with your
00:08:49
story
00:08:50
yes uh I had a thing with Chris uh I was
00:08:54
on my way to play handball
00:08:57
at the West Side Y West 63rd and he was
00:08:59
it was like a Monday all right so 11 A.M
00:09:02
he's coming down the street you know
00:09:03
with that hair and
00:09:05
the coat you know and he's the big
00:09:07
strides and I just read a review he had
00:09:11
been doing Hamlet
00:09:13
at Stratford and he got pretty good
00:09:15
reviews I mean the play itself they said
00:09:17
you know it's not great but he may have
00:09:19
a hamlet in him so I you know and I had
00:09:23
done dogs of war with him so we stopped
00:09:25
each other and he said you know we're
00:09:27
we're dark today I'm gonna go get a
00:09:29
drink you know why don't you join me I
00:09:31
said it's 11 A.M
00:09:32
I have a handball game well all right
00:09:36
I said I just read the reviews I did
00:09:38
pretty well he said well you know
00:09:40
when you do Shakespeare you got to do
00:09:43
that thing you know that thing for them
00:09:45
that you know the critical faculty they
00:09:47
like to hear that the thing
00:09:49
I said oh yeah yeah right you know what
00:09:52
are you talking about what things one
00:09:54
thing he said yeah but I refuse I refuse
00:09:57
I won't give it to them [ __ ] them in
00:10:00
their asses and
00:10:02
do I not look Danish
00:10:05
I said you do okay there you are there
00:10:09
you are yeah and Away you went away he
00:10:13
went he was just you know he was just a
00:10:16
a free spirit all the way around he was
00:10:18
I love it yeah and Joe Pesci was the
00:10:21
same kind of interesting character
00:10:23
off-screen because I remember him
00:10:25
telling this long story he goes you know
00:10:27
you got to know when do you want to
00:10:28
fight you know Wendy when are you gonna
00:10:31
fight it's just a non-sequitur I say a
00:10:34
sugar bowl across the nose
00:10:42
so he was a tough guy well he was and he
00:10:45
was five two you know it wasn't a
00:10:47
difficult step to play New York
00:10:50
gangsters no I don't know what the [ __ ]
00:10:52
I'm gonna do play in a tough New York
00:10:54
gangster look at me I always said that
00:10:57
about those guys I said it's thank God
00:10:58
they weren't born in Cleveland or you
00:11:00
know I mean none of them would have
00:11:02
worked you know but because it was New
00:11:05
York you know they're doing a New York
00:11:06
thing yeah I I did it with Pesci and we
00:11:10
did a movie together and uh and then he
00:11:13
either I was with him or he did this on
00:11:15
his own or this is a total lie but he
00:11:18
was he was sitting and uh he was telling
00:11:21
me what he doesn't like because he goes
00:11:23
I don't like autographs I'm like all
00:11:25
that [ __ ] and I go yeah and he goes this
00:11:27
guy last night at dinner goes Hey Joe
00:11:29
Bashi at the other table which we all
00:11:31
get hey man you go hey you know and then
00:11:33
he goes hey come here
00:11:35
to the table come here and he goes what
00:11:38
the [ __ ] you say to me the guy who's
00:11:39
come here goes come here [ __ ] you and
00:11:42
[ __ ] your mom [ __ ] you you want to be a
00:11:45
man you walk over my table and ask if
00:11:47
you're allowed to talk to me I was like
00:11:49
and now I do that that's where I picked
00:11:51
it up
00:11:53
what am I like a clown doing exactly it
00:11:56
was like that exactly Amaya [ __ ] how
00:11:59
am I funny how am I oh that was funny
00:12:00
that was great that was great yeah he uh
00:12:05
he used to work in this restaurant I
00:12:06
think it was in Queens it was an Italian
00:12:08
joint and that's where Scorsese had seen
00:12:11
him in or De Niro or both of them had
00:12:13
seen him in this thing called a death
00:12:14
collector with Joe cortezi remember Joe
00:12:17
Cortez it was like a b movie but they
00:12:21
liked Joe in it and they were thinking
00:12:23
of him for
00:12:26
so they called him and he it was a busy
00:12:29
night he was he was a Mater D or
00:12:31
something out there he was a wise guy
00:12:32
joined go figure and he he said who is
00:12:37
it he said it's it's Bobby De Niro God
00:12:39
yeah tell Bobby go [ __ ] himself in his
00:12:41
ass and then he kept working
00:12:44
everything's in there yeah he called him
00:12:47
back I never I
00:12:50
I remember being at the Columbus Cafe
00:12:52
with Lovett so we were just fresh off
00:12:54
the boat in New York City and we're
00:12:56
there with all these Goomba guys
00:12:58
I love those guys yeah and his friends
00:13:01
and love it says the one big guy he goes
00:13:03
what do you do for a living and the guy
00:13:06
goes what do you want to know for
00:13:09
me John's like gives it to you he didn't
00:13:12
know
00:13:13
oh man I was in I was in there was this
00:13:16
Irish bar restaurant
00:13:18
Jimmy neary's on uh the east side like
00:13:22
around 59th or 57th I forget but I used
00:13:25
to go in there sometimes and it was a
00:13:27
you know a lot of these detectives
00:13:29
retired detectives hung out there mostly
00:13:32
Irish
00:13:33
and I was because I was doing a Big
00:13:36
Apple for David milch
00:13:38
and I was partnered with this young
00:13:40
actor so we're in there with a bunch of
00:13:42
guys and this one cop was driving us
00:13:44
around he was a retired Detective
00:13:47
and he says uh you know we're just
00:13:50
talking he said you see that guy at the
00:13:51
bar with a
00:13:53
it's driver
00:13:56
I said Jimmy coonan you're the guy that
00:13:57
was what had you know he ran the Westies
00:14:00
yeah well he's doing life you know but
00:14:02
this guy was just drive this prick I
00:14:04
don't like him they used to go down to
00:14:06
this and anyway the guys at the bar
00:14:08
smoking he just got out
00:14:10
and I look around and my partner this
00:14:12
young actor is over there because he
00:14:14
also liked to write
00:14:16
he's he's chatting this guy up you know
00:14:18
at the bar and I thought oh that could
00:14:21
be a big mistake you know so I I kind of
00:14:23
went over and the guy knew me because
00:14:25
you know I was there I used to live in
00:14:27
in that area you know a Hell's Kitchen
00:14:29
that was called Clinton at the time
00:14:31
he says hey hi Ed how are you I didn't
00:14:34
know him
00:14:34
I said good what's up I said Mike you
00:14:37
know we're our food's coming
00:14:40
apparently he had asked the guy you know
00:14:42
listen I I heard you drove for Jimmy
00:14:43
Cooney and uh you know I'd like to maybe
00:14:47
write something could you you could help
00:14:49
me out well write a thing it'll be great
00:14:51
and the guy's smoking a cigarette you
00:14:53
know he's just looking at him he says
00:14:55
you know that was a long time ago
00:14:57
a lot of people don't even know about
00:14:59
this you know you certainly don't need
00:15:02
to know about it Jesus like that hey
00:15:06
O'Neil go back nice to see you tell that
00:15:09
[ __ ] donkey you're with that I
00:15:11
[ __ ] hate him it was the cop you know
00:15:13
that said
00:15:15
I mean they all know each other you know
00:15:17
it's just like it's like a little it's a
00:15:19
neighborhood terrifying though
00:15:23
[Music]
00:15:25
I just was so curious about you know you
00:15:27
being of trying out for the Pittsburgh
00:15:29
Steelers yeah and you're being a black
00:15:31
belt so like they could all sit on boxes
00:15:35
or whatever or puffy jackets but you
00:15:37
would be the guy who could actually yeah
00:15:39
from that neighborhood you know I mean
00:15:41
I'm just saying right the truth of my
00:15:44
life has been that you know when I came
00:15:46
from Youngstown which was a steel mill
00:15:48
town and I grew up with Wise Guys you
00:15:51
know their fathers my friends were their
00:15:54
fathers and
00:15:55
um you know there's a lot of stories
00:15:57
there they wanted me to get in at one
00:15:59
point not not I could never be made you
00:16:01
know because I was iron right but they
00:16:04
wanted me to hang out and you know after
00:16:06
I got cut by the Steelers they wanted me
00:16:07
to you know strong arm a few guys I
00:16:10
always said no yes I said I can't go to
00:16:12
jail I can't go to jail so but I knew
00:16:15
all these guys it was I grew up with
00:16:17
them at your Peak physicality like with
00:16:19
the Steelers I mean what how how much do
00:16:22
you weigh they're like six two and like
00:16:23
when I was like 20 maybe 225. yeah so
00:16:28
yeah with with big forearms he was the
00:16:31
early Joe Rogan
00:16:34
yeah you know it was it's when I did
00:16:38
them you know it's what you did if you
00:16:39
grew up there and you had any kind of
00:16:40
physicality I read it right about
00:16:43
Pittsburgh Steelers on your Wikipedia
00:16:45
but I didn't really believe it because
00:16:47
it's also on my Wikipedia But it said
00:16:50
you're from Youngstown Ohio and I go is
00:16:52
this just a sexy rumor because I my
00:16:56
parents went to Denison is that really a
00:16:58
school are they making this up is there
00:17:00
no it's okay but it's not it's not in
00:17:01
Youngstown it's up near Akron I think
00:17:03
okay yeah
00:17:06
yeah she said she went to school I don't
00:17:09
totally believe her and then my dad said
00:17:10
he went to the same one and that story
00:17:12
didn't really check out because it was
00:17:14
the same school and I thought he was
00:17:16
just piggybacking her story so uh if
00:17:19
there is a Denison then that's good
00:17:20
because now I know there is the Denison
00:17:22
okay and it was it's a nice little
00:17:24
private school I think okay good that's
00:17:27
good so there yeah I went I went to OU
00:17:29
for a while I went to Ohio U and I I
00:17:31
sort of flunked out of there and then I
00:17:33
got back
00:17:36
not a genius
00:17:41
I don't think there's anybody who has a
00:17:44
more of a regular guy persona than you
00:17:47
like there's no pretense like literally
00:17:49
nothing I mean you know 40 Years of
00:17:53
Television I mean just like you could be
00:17:55
just anybody it's it's really no start
00:17:58
fighting I just I still want to go back
00:18:00
to this idea that if you wouldn't suffer
00:18:03
fools you're so nice but this East Coast
00:18:06
physicality you have did you ever were
00:18:09
you ever on a set where you thought I'm
00:18:10
gonna I'm gonna set this guy down I'm
00:18:13
gonna choke him out or I'm not gonna
00:18:15
take this [ __ ] I mean I think you're the
00:18:17
kind of guy who's incredibly nice until
00:18:20
he's not nice that's right you don't
00:18:21
want to ever meet that other guy I mean
00:18:23
I've said that a few times because I've
00:18:25
said look guys everyone thinks I'm such
00:18:27
a nice guy
00:18:28
I'm not I mean I have been very violent
00:18:32
in my life I mean I love that I never I
00:18:35
never pulled a gunshot or a knife to God
00:18:37
but I was I was always
00:18:40
you know I I didn't run away from those
00:18:43
troubling things when you're young like
00:18:44
I do
00:18:46
I run away from everybody like most
00:18:48
people should David you know yeah I mean
00:18:50
I'm honestly lucky that I'm you know
00:18:53
didn't have a lot more trouble than I
00:18:55
did I'm what's known on the streets as a
00:18:58
colossal [ __ ]
00:19:00
you you fought with your wit
00:19:04
money friends I made friends with the
00:19:07
guy named Steve Lee in fifth grade the
00:19:09
big kid he was my enforcer you know I
00:19:12
had like yeah
00:19:14
for a lot of you would have been I would
00:19:16
have been your best friend was Irish
00:19:19
yeah they needed a little help every now
00:19:20
and then and I was always happy because
00:19:22
I always I always dislike bullies I had
00:19:25
to think about bullies and I had a
00:19:27
little routine I used to do in bars like
00:19:29
you know if somebody I mean I'm making
00:19:31
this up pregnant if someone comes up and
00:19:33
says hey you got a cigarette give me a
00:19:34
cigarette you know not nice and you got
00:19:37
it right there you know on the on the
00:19:39
bar and I'd say um yeah
00:19:42
how many do you want
00:19:44
give me a couple then that's okay
00:19:47
yeah here you go you got a match yeah
00:19:49
can I apply it for you yeah and I just
00:19:52
be like like I'd act like I was afraid
00:19:54
of them and I just draw them in you know
00:19:57
draw them in give them more room
00:19:59
you know give them more space to feel
00:20:01
like they're a tough guy routine and I'm
00:20:04
just waiting to drop the hammer on them
00:20:06
you know I would just get an angle I'd
00:20:08
move over get a little angle
00:20:11
you know we're sitting on bar stools
00:20:13
love it and then you might say uh how's
00:20:16
that cigarette is it good and then I
00:20:18
point it and boom oh Jesus
00:20:23
I just wanted to do it I love it
00:20:26
but but yeah let me ask you a question
00:20:29
and I put David in here too uh we're
00:20:32
kind of Scrappy we have a lot of anger
00:20:33
we built that really weird childhood oh
00:20:36
your comics
00:20:37
and Ed I'm Irish and I do think that the
00:20:41
Irish brain I don't know you know The
00:20:42
Gangs of New York Times
00:20:45
we're suicidal if we someone pushes like
00:20:48
do you want to [ __ ] die right now
00:20:51
what is that a border or thing you know
00:20:54
where we come from the DNA the Scotland
00:20:58
Ireland
00:20:59
they're living up in the you know they
00:21:02
don't plant it was all limestones so
00:21:04
they had sheep
00:21:05
you could steal sheep you know you can't
00:21:08
steal yeah apples too well yeah so they
00:21:11
were always that that's all those guys
00:21:13
that went down into the Ozarks
00:21:15
you know those feuds you know The McCoys
00:21:18
and they were all from there and they
00:21:20
they they they murdered you not for any
00:21:23
kind of like you robbed me you insulted
00:21:26
me
00:21:27
now I'm gonna kill you
00:21:29
no I'm gonna kill you man you insulted
00:21:31
me yeah I have relatives in Ireland
00:21:33
right now and they talking to them
00:21:36
growing UPS uh my wife's nephew boy he's
00:21:39
just fighting every day yeah yeah in
00:21:41
Dublin Street poor I mean that was part
00:21:43
of the reason I finally left I mean no I
00:21:45
wanted
00:21:46
it's a whole long crazy story how I
00:21:48
started doing acting but
00:21:49
I needed to get out of Youngstown
00:21:51
because you know I realized I'm I'm
00:21:53
gonna die here you know I may die
00:21:55
violently here or I'm just gonna die on
00:21:58
the vine you know in a bar drunk
00:22:00
someplace and uh right so I realized I
00:22:02
had to get the [ __ ] out of there because
00:22:04
it was uh
00:22:06
you know at the time I didn't really
00:22:08
realize how dangerous a place it was it
00:22:10
was a very dangerous I've been there
00:22:12
it's terrifying
00:22:14
you're like I gotta get out of here to a
00:22:16
different Bleak town
00:22:18
called Blue collared tough and no matter
00:22:21
where you go nearby it's the same thing
00:22:23
you know Steubenville Akron Canton
00:22:26
same thing you got to get way the hell
00:22:29
out of there I I'm there and I hear a
00:22:31
lot of hey [ __ ] boy I'm like me but I
00:22:35
was there to do a gig I played a casino
00:22:37
there and you know Ed this might be uh a
00:22:40
little heavy but when I played
00:22:41
Youngstown it sounds sort of elitist but
00:22:45
when you do a casino gig and some of
00:22:46
these towns I didn't really notice it
00:22:48
but
00:22:49
sometimes talents aren't doing well and
00:22:52
there was a lot of boarding up and then
00:22:53
you get to this oh beautiful casino and
00:22:56
all you think in your head is this is
00:22:58
where all the money's going like
00:23:00
everyone gets a check and they go to the
00:23:02
casino and it's just like [ __ ] I'm part
00:23:04
of the problem I'm playing the casino I
00:23:05
don't know where I'm going I'm in
00:23:06
Youngstown I go oh my parents are from
00:23:08
here allegedly and um and then I go and
00:23:11
then I go oh my God I'm part of the
00:23:13
problem here I am and they're like all
00:23:15
gambling and there's a lot of little
00:23:16
scooters and I go these poor towns
00:23:18
there's the million of them like that oh
00:23:20
there's so many of them and and you know
00:23:22
they're all trying to get lucky because
00:23:23
really yeah I mean David I don't know
00:23:27
I've often told people I said they said
00:23:29
oh well you know you got you got out and
00:23:31
you were you're so successful now and
00:23:34
and I said I am so lucky I mean I don't
00:23:38
know what my odds would have been I
00:23:39
didn't even get to New York till I was
00:23:41
31.
00:23:42
you know when I was cut by the Steelers
00:23:44
my father said you're gonna try what now
00:23:48
get in the [ __ ] Mill what the [ __ ] is
00:23:51
wrong with our Shin protocol yeah yeah I
00:23:53
took a few hits my dad was a real tough
00:23:55
guy you know my dad was a really
00:23:57
physical uh nice guy by the way but
00:24:00
again that trigger Dana's same thing all
00:24:04
right the same thing we I had you know
00:24:05
I'm five kids three older brothers
00:24:07
pounding me all day long my dad would uh
00:24:11
he if he thought you did something wrong
00:24:13
you had to go get his belt then he would
00:24:15
snap it humiliating and you had to grab
00:24:18
your ankles and their siblings siblings
00:24:21
would gather around and say how many and
00:24:23
then as he started to beat you he would
00:24:25
scream at you oh Jesus Christ so it made
00:24:29
me it made me tough what I'm interested
00:24:32
in at right now is did your father live
00:24:35
to see your incredible success yeah and
00:24:39
if so what how did your relationship
00:24:41
change with him and when you got all
00:24:44
that I mean what what was that like with
00:24:46
you well we had you know he retired and
00:24:49
he moved down to North Carolina on the
00:24:51
Outer Banks where my mother would my
00:24:53
mother and father divorced
00:24:55
had a sister who was
00:24:57
schizophrenic and um there were five of
00:25:00
us okay so the youngest sister was
00:25:02
schizophrenic so my mother took her to
00:25:04
North Carolina where my sister lived
00:25:07
with her husband I'm lost and then my
00:25:09
father retired and he wanted to move
00:25:11
down there he had a little house that he
00:25:14
had that we had to compliment of getting
00:25:15
like a vacation home a little small and
00:25:19
so anyway my whole family ended up down
00:25:21
there you know not me because I was in
00:25:22
New York but
00:25:23
uh then I had to sort of navigate you
00:25:26
know
00:25:27
uh I heard you about your mother a car
00:25:31
I'm driving a piece of [ __ ]
00:25:33
here it comes I have to buy him a car
00:25:36
yeah
00:25:39
what the [ __ ] do I look like you know I
00:25:42
said dad you're living with another
00:25:43
woman you're you know I mean it was a it
00:25:46
was a mess but that's crazy so he did
00:25:49
not cozy up like my dad because I was
00:25:52
the one he really had it in for because
00:25:54
they wanted a girl they got me yeah and
00:25:57
they named a girl's name so you know so
00:26:01
he thought maybe I was a little you know
00:26:03
whatever no I had I had an Angelic face
00:26:07
I was very boyish but after I left and
00:26:10
had success it was like oh Dane you and
00:26:12
I were the same person you're always I
00:26:15
always supported you I gave you
00:26:17
everything you know anyway
00:26:19
I was the oldest of five and my name
00:26:22
okay the same as my father's you know
00:26:24
except our middle name's different but
00:26:27
so I was sort of his favorite you know
00:26:29
and and again I was I became that guy
00:26:32
that he wanted me to be which was a
00:26:35
pretty tough guy an athlete and my
00:26:38
second brother was uh well like probably
00:26:40
well he was my second brother's gay so
00:26:43
he went to the Seminary to be a priest
00:26:46
and like four years and dropped out
00:26:48
that's the whole other thing and then I
00:26:50
had another brother who was a good great
00:26:53
kid who's kind of tragic he died young
00:26:56
then my my youngest sister died
00:26:59
then my father died and my mother died
00:27:01
then my father died
00:27:03
so it was kind of a you know uh crazy
00:27:06
crazy [ __ ] but um
00:27:09
wow yeah so my dad was a uh deadbeat dad
00:27:13
kind of in a when when that's where all
00:27:15
my anger comes out I got in a fight in
00:27:17
sixth grade with this kind of Oscar and
00:27:19
uh he uh I was I was at the Little
00:27:21
League game just chatting up some gals
00:27:23
and he came behind me and rabbit punched
00:27:25
me oh I was like first of all it's
00:27:27
illegal but I didn't say anything about
00:27:29
that but I turned around and then it's
00:27:31
the Sucker Punch Yeah Sucker Punch
00:27:34
surprisingly spay didn't go down on that
00:27:36
I was just like huh and then he goes
00:27:38
come on man let's go and I'm like
00:27:39
talking to girls go I'm with some ladies
00:27:41
but meanwhile it was you haven't changed
00:27:46
just talking and then I was but it was
00:27:48
10 white and they Groton so everyone
00:27:50
gathers on I go and they're like fight
00:27:52
I'm like no no there's no fight here you
00:27:55
know and then and then I go
00:27:57
nice to see everyone I'm going to take
00:27:59
off and I go I gotta get out of here it
00:28:00
hits me again on the way and I go uh so
00:28:04
then I walk across the gravel to my
00:28:07
friend's mom's car I go I feel like the
00:28:09
manly move is to get in their car and
00:28:12
lock the doors and hide until the game's
00:28:13
over and then maybe it'll all go away
00:28:16
and then I get to the door and it was
00:28:18
like slow motion Juke it was locked oh
00:28:20
and it was an old Chevelle and I go
00:28:22
[ __ ] and I turn around and I go
00:28:25
because he'd hit me three times at this
00:28:27
point and I was looking like a big fool
00:28:29
and I turn around and I go I and here
00:28:32
comes my dad left me all my anger I'm
00:28:34
looking humiliated and then he tries to
00:28:36
be cool and does a little rope-a-dope
00:28:38
like look around he swings his hand up
00:28:39
and then Jabs me in the face and that
00:28:42
was it and I laid a barrage on him and I
00:28:46
backed him up and I kept hitting and he
00:28:48
fell and I jumped on him and I started
00:28:49
wailing on him and then someone grabbed
00:28:51
me and he stood up and goes coaches
00:28:53
coming coach wasn't coming and uh and he
00:28:56
ran off and then when said he won I won
00:29:01
but I I I I
00:29:04
still talk about this fight it rarely
00:29:06
comes up maybe twice a week but I uh I I
00:29:09
tell everyone about it I heard it this
00:29:11
morning
00:29:12
did you guys you remember seeing that
00:29:14
cartoon when I was a kid it was it was
00:29:17
it was a Disney thing I think it was
00:29:19
called it was a short
00:29:20
but it was called Lambert the friendly
00:29:22
lion
00:29:24
did you you guys ever see that and I'm
00:29:26
36.
00:29:28
I tell you this story because you guys
00:29:30
should should get it you can Google it
00:29:32
Lambert Lambert lion the friendly lion
00:29:35
and what happened was
00:29:37
in a sheep it was a shepherd and sheep
00:29:41
on a Hillside and one night the stork
00:29:43
makes a mistake and drops the baby lion
00:29:46
in amongst the Sheep
00:29:49
um and the mother a mother who didn't
00:29:52
have any
00:29:54
shape you know takes the lion in and so
00:29:58
he's raised as a sheep and a lot again
00:30:00
he's he's like a sheep he's afraid of
00:30:02
the wolf comes by they're all terrified
00:30:05
full grown he's shaking you know of this
00:30:09
wolf
00:30:10
but the the kicker was that the wolf
00:30:12
backs the mother out on a precipice
00:30:15
where she can't go anywhere he's got the
00:30:17
wolf's gonna kill her and all of a
00:30:19
sudden you hear this [ __ ] Roar just
00:30:22
behind the wall the wolves here goes up
00:30:26
you know and he turns around it's a
00:30:28
salivating [ __ ] killer male lion you
00:30:31
know it's just great it's just right
00:30:33
it's like that's what that was me that
00:30:36
was you you got pushed to where you know
00:30:39
you'd rather take a beating like my
00:30:41
father used to tell me when I was a kid
00:30:42
look if you get pushed into it
00:30:45
Never back down it's better to take a
00:30:48
beating because the beating will heal
00:30:52
the back down yeah go away my dad told
00:30:55
me there's some [ __ ] I won't eat and he
00:30:57
goes believe me Davey I eat [ __ ] every
00:30:59
day it shouldn't work ain't [ __ ] at home
00:31:01
your mom gives me [ __ ] yeah and he goes
00:31:03
but now and then he goes I can't take it
00:31:05
and he goes that's what happened to you
00:31:06
he couldn't take it your father was
00:31:08
quite a character those stories on your
00:31:10
dad yeah they're so hilarious and uh
00:31:12
that's why that's one thing thanks Dad
00:31:14
meanwhile you're probably the reason I
00:31:15
got beat up and I'm a [ __ ] but thank
00:31:17
you
00:31:18
laughs
00:31:23
[Music]
00:31:25
and people
00:31:27
you you're ripped he's Rich no I know
00:31:31
he's rich but um
00:31:34
how long was it between you've been
00:31:35
married with Children and then how long
00:31:37
is it between that and Modern Family
00:31:39
well it was uh 86 to 96 and a half or
00:31:43
once something like that and then
00:31:46
then there was that inner room where I
00:31:48
did like uh
00:31:50
Dragnet I did Dragnet I I did uh the two
00:31:55
series with David milch you know I did
00:31:57
Big Apple right the surf movie the the
00:31:59
dysfunctional surf family down in San
00:32:01
Diego do you think I think he's got
00:32:04
Bezos money now I think it's more like
00:32:06
you're gonna open a rocket ship company
00:32:07
because all that first pile of money and
00:32:09
then another pile of money
00:32:11
well it's I I looked at it because I had
00:32:14
to add it up you had to add it up
00:32:16
because I think it's a Guinness Guinness
00:32:18
Book of World Records probably
00:32:21
459 episodes between Married with
00:32:24
Children wow and Modern Family not my
00:32:27
question for Ed is when you dream
00:32:30
do you suck do you dream is that Bundy
00:32:32
or your dream is Jay pritchell I don't
00:32:35
dream as either one but you know the
00:32:37
funny thing is I remember when that that
00:32:39
happened and I got a phone call from one
00:32:42
of the news agencies
00:32:44
I didn't know about it and they said you
00:32:46
just eclipsed Lucille Ball's uh oh okay
00:32:49
record of shows you know for her you
00:32:52
know how many of mugging is she done
00:32:55
playing it too bad whatever it was I was
00:32:56
like one one above her and I said uh I
00:33:00
said Okay okay so what do you think
00:33:02
about that I mean isn't that amazing and
00:33:04
I said well it's it probably should have
00:33:07
been a crossword puzzle question
00:33:09
but you're not saying I was better than
00:33:12
Lucille Ball are you yeah so I did one
00:33:16
more show
00:33:17
present date I've done one more show so
00:33:20
yeah I mean like say your first the
00:33:23
pilot or the first episode of Married
00:33:24
With Children yeah and this is your
00:33:26
first big star oh yeah yeah first time I
00:33:29
love that show it's so loose and weird
00:33:31
and you're all great you know what was
00:33:34
the guy walked off that show I mean how
00:33:37
much did you change like as an actor or
00:33:39
performer or you got wealthy you got
00:33:41
famous I mean that's such a tsunami in a
00:33:43
in a life you know and you're married
00:33:45
and I mean it's just it's intense I mean
00:33:49
it kind of like was a it then it kind of
00:33:53
happened in waves you know like the
00:33:55
first three years I think we were just
00:33:57
trying to survive we didn't we couldn't
00:33:58
believe we were going to be on another
00:34:00
season yeah and then they slowly started
00:34:04
picking us up for like you know I don't
00:34:06
know five years I think was the biggest
00:34:08
pickup
00:34:09
and then I thought well you know that's
00:34:11
good I mean we don't win anything but
00:34:13
we're we're running you know we're
00:34:14
running and we're keeping fox in the
00:34:16
black which was kind of good for them
00:34:19
and us and uh
00:34:21
I just thought of myself like wow I'm
00:34:24
this is really luck you know this is
00:34:26
lucky
00:34:27
and um
00:34:29
I never thought much about it honestly I
00:34:31
I wasn't um I would I would I always
00:34:34
have this kind of like one-track thing
00:34:36
where it's like
00:34:38
what's this week
00:34:40
yeah what are we doing let me see the
00:34:42
script okay right
00:34:44
what's next week I didn't even you know
00:34:46
when I got that I never
00:34:48
I never thought about it much I don't
00:34:51
know why I it starts out very humbly
00:34:53
doesn't I mean did you kind of break
00:34:54
even your first year between housing
00:34:56
costs
00:34:57
I wasn't making it I think I was yeah so
00:35:00
now you never make one hand well I think
00:35:02
I was making twelve five an episode the
00:35:04
first couple years
00:35:17
this thing
00:35:18
and I said um
00:35:21
you know I don't want to be impertinent
00:35:23
but why do I need you guys for you know
00:35:25
I've got I've got it
00:35:26
I've got to go that's running and then
00:35:29
you leaned over and got an angle on
00:35:31
Bernie why do I have to pay you now too
00:35:34
I've already got the show
00:35:36
and Bernie you know how Bernie was you
00:35:38
know that's a good question he said you
00:35:40
know what though what if I told you that
00:35:42
the next door neighbor is making a lot
00:35:45
more money than you are would that
00:35:46
surprise you I said yeah
00:35:49
it would well Bernie Bernie Bernie was
00:35:52
pretty honest he came out in the press
00:35:54
and said anybody who gives 20 of the
00:35:57
salary a salary away is out of their
00:35:59
[ __ ] mind and Brad gray had to meet
00:36:02
with him and go Bernie we got to take it
00:36:04
easy with this stuff and Brad was in the
00:36:06
room and then I think the upshot was
00:36:08
Bernie said
00:36:10
okay this is the deal
00:36:12
um you come with me
00:36:15
you're gonna make a shitload of money
00:36:18
you're going to have a good time and I'm
00:36:20
going to teach you the business
00:36:22
and uh I said
00:36:25
you know I was doubled I mean there was
00:36:27
my agent
00:36:28
yeah and I said well here I am I'm you
00:36:32
know I'm given to him so I said sure
00:36:36
fine
00:36:37
you can make a shitload or just a load
00:36:40
well I never felt they knew what to do
00:36:42
with me ever I mean I I every job I ever
00:36:46
got with them I basically got on my own
00:36:51
no because what I mean is that they
00:36:53
create of management
00:36:55
no no what I mean is it was like like
00:36:59
you guys had had uh shows that they
00:37:02
created for you right kind of sure yeah
00:37:05
you know the ownership of Saturday Night
00:37:08
Live David they they create a show
00:37:10
around you they knew how to do that for
00:37:13
certain people they just didn't know I
00:37:15
don't believe they knew how to do it for
00:37:17
me because they didn't really know what
00:37:18
I was you know I wasn't a stand-up comic
00:37:21
I never did stand up I wasn't even a
00:37:24
comedic actor when I got married with
00:37:25
Children although I had done comedy in
00:37:28
the theater but they didn't know that
00:37:30
yeah and so they didn't know what to do
00:37:33
with me I I and I I don't I don't blame
00:37:35
them by the way
00:37:37
it's like uh it was I'm like a difficult
00:37:41
I may be a difficult to sell you know
00:37:45
who would be the easiest cell of a actor
00:37:48
comedian coming into a agent's manager
00:37:52
Office in the 80s it would have been
00:37:54
like Kevin Costner or something or
00:37:57
Harrison Ford in 1980. Eddie Murphy
00:38:00
leading man well Eddie Murphy for sure
00:38:02
because he was you know he was sexy yeah
00:38:05
and he was funny uh uh brilliant it's
00:38:09
gotten me pretty far Chris Walken Chris
00:38:12
Watkins hilarious yeah but again nobody
00:38:15
is hard too yeah
00:38:19
that wasn't funny I think people
00:38:21
discovered Chris was funny and decided
00:38:23
he was funny yeah yeah wow no I was I
00:38:27
was the same thing I wasn't a leading
00:38:28
man I don't know how to act I'm kind of
00:38:30
funny I you know where do you put me you
00:38:33
know I'm just glad I live long enough
00:38:34
for this digital technology that this is
00:38:36
my job I mean said Sid Caesar would have
00:38:38
had one of these oh God said Caesar was
00:38:41
one of my favorite it's brilliant don't
00:38:44
you ever meet ever meet Sid Caesar I
00:38:46
never met him I I was in the room with
00:38:48
him a couple times where he was uh
00:38:51
but I didn't meet him
00:38:53
I he was it was intimidated was at an
00:38:56
airport and he goes oh yeah you're on
00:38:58
that show he goes how many shows you do
00:39:00
a season uh 20. yeah we did we did 55.
00:39:03
you know he's like yeah that's how he
00:39:04
better you know he was
00:39:06
I I don't think he was any day at the
00:39:08
beach you know and he was a bit stronger
00:39:10
I love that term he was a big strong guy
00:39:12
too when he was young yeah uh he was he
00:39:16
was a he was a scary guy and uh but my
00:39:20
God he was funny yeah you know I don't
00:39:22
think anybody has ever done that uh
00:39:25
that talk that you know what what do
00:39:27
they call it you know where he speaks
00:39:29
the language and it's not a language oh
00:39:31
yeah the fake
00:39:35
friends
00:39:43
they can do it but he's the best he's
00:39:46
the best like his his Samurai you know
00:39:49
the palushi took the peluchi stole from
00:39:52
him the samurai was better than anything
00:39:54
you've ever seen
00:39:56
do you ever see him do the samurai oh he
00:39:59
was doing the whole like blue she did
00:40:00
all that wait well that's where Belushi
00:40:02
got it from since he's
00:40:04
oh really it was insane
00:40:07
and his Italian was the best I ever
00:40:09
heard his Italian was oh
00:40:12
it was you can actually Google since
00:40:15
these are speaking four different
00:40:16
languages at a Bob Hope
00:40:19
uh they're honoring Bob Hope and he gets
00:40:21
out and starts in French and then German
00:40:24
and then Italian and then he ends up
00:40:26
with the Japanese it's phenomenal yeah
00:40:28
and he was the first too I mean right
00:40:31
right there with this yeah Sketch I read
00:40:33
his book you know I don't know if you
00:40:35
saw his book because it's okay it's not
00:40:36
great but he talks about heads at the
00:40:39
end well no I mean it's it's okay and
00:40:42
some of the stories were good but all
00:40:43
right he was he was good with the
00:40:44
accents maybe not he was doing the
00:40:45
accident
00:40:47
adjectives he was sober uh for a long
00:40:50
time and uh his wife said you know now
00:40:53
that you're sober we should travel you
00:40:55
know you're retired and he said well
00:40:58
where
00:40:58
so how about Australia he said yeah I've
00:41:01
always wanted to go there and then he
00:41:02
came to find out he had he had toured
00:41:04
Australia you know one point in time he
00:41:07
was so [ __ ] up he just remember he was
00:41:09
there
00:41:12
I'm just interested in in bitterness in
00:41:15
our business like how to avoid it
00:41:17
because I work with Mickey Rooney it was
00:41:18
the most bitter Humanity too yeah it
00:41:22
worked so bitter right
00:41:24
what year did you work with him I worked
00:41:27
with him he he came up to me the last
00:41:28
time I saw him I was at Malibu you know
00:41:32
what was that restaurant tretinoid
00:41:34
sitting outside with some friends and he
00:41:37
came over
00:41:39
and he said uh
00:41:42
you know I'm trying to I'm trying to get
00:41:44
a [ __ ] show off the ground with
00:41:47
Debbie Reynolds you know she's got the
00:41:49
hotel in Vegas done very well for
00:41:52
herself
00:41:53
I'd like to do Tugboat Annie with Debbie
00:41:56
Reynolds I can't get past these Jew
00:41:58
producers
00:42:01
oh he was like outraged I said Mickey
00:42:05
Mickey he said now you know these I
00:42:07
don't I'm only coming to you because I
00:42:10
know you know television producers
00:42:13
and I said yeah but I said I'll I'll
00:42:16
bring it up I was thinking I was with
00:42:18
Ron Levitt you know Ron Levitt Michael
00:42:19
Moy from
00:42:21
uh Married with Children so I said well
00:42:23
I'll I'll bring it up he's 90 years old
00:42:26
practically you know
00:42:27
they're [ __ ] with me they're [ __ ]
00:42:30
me he said Gene Kelly
00:42:32
Gene Kelly had just died National
00:42:34
Treasure Gene I knew Gene very well
00:42:38
Judy Garland
00:42:40
same thing look at who you're rolling
00:42:43
with you know we learned a lot today uh
00:42:45
Judy Garland never owned a car
00:42:49
that's he you do non-sequiturs because
00:42:51
they pumped herself full of drugs and he
00:42:54
would talk until he couldn't breathe
00:42:56
he said he said that they call me he
00:43:00
said Gene's a National Treasure
00:43:03
that's what they're saying and he was
00:43:05
and when I die
00:43:07
they'll say the same thing about me that
00:43:10
I'm a National Treasure they won't hire
00:43:13
me for [ __ ] yeah and they would treat
00:43:15
him like a treasure yeah get a job you
00:43:17
know he couldn't get a job Ed did you
00:43:19
okay sorry
00:43:21
did you ever did you ever run into an
00:43:24
old-time movie star you would have been
00:43:25
blown away with that said they were a
00:43:27
fan of yours like Bert Lancaster or
00:43:29
something not Bert Lancaster not bird
00:43:31
okay I'm just throwing them out what was
00:43:33
it was Ernest Borgnine oh yeah and uh
00:43:37
and that was great and then James Arness
00:43:40
James Arness
00:43:42
came in directly it came from his
00:43:44
brother
00:43:45
you know his brother who had Mission
00:43:47
Impossible what was his name you know
00:43:48
did you know he had a brother that was a
00:43:51
a different name oh yeah yeah something
00:43:53
RNs I I had a G YouTube The reason I
00:43:57
thought about that is because I had a
00:43:58
weird one recently with Gene Kelly which
00:44:01
blew my mind because Lovitz we were
00:44:02
playing Vegas and he went to some party
00:44:04
and he met Gene Kelly's Widow yes and as
00:44:09
John says and she said make sure you
00:44:10
tell Dana that Gene loved his Bush
00:44:13
impression he'd tell everyone to be
00:44:15
quiet when Dana was on so just the idea
00:44:18
that Gene Kelly knew who I was was
00:44:20
saying my name out loud be quiet Dana's
00:44:24
on blew my mind David well yes I was at
00:44:27
his house one night Dana I was invited
00:44:30
this woman that I knew was friends with
00:44:33
his wife I can't remember her first name
00:44:35
but she was quite a bit younger as you
00:44:36
know right yeah and they lived on Rodeo
00:44:39
Drive on the floor
00:44:42
so I was because I thought I want to
00:44:45
meet you know I want to meet Gene Kelly
00:44:46
so I go and you know how it worked they
00:44:49
would have like once a week she'd have
00:44:50
dinners and invited various people to
00:44:53
amuse Gene you know to like you know
00:44:55
keep them active mentally and that he'd
00:44:58
be upstairs and they'd have the cocktail
00:45:00
hour and then he'd come down with a big
00:45:02
long dinner table and uh so I was
00:45:05
introduced to him
00:45:07
along with you know 15 other people and
00:45:11
he had no clue who I was
00:45:13
but he said uh
00:45:16
O'Neill Irish
00:45:19
I said yeah
00:45:21
where are you from I said Youngstown
00:45:23
Ohio Youngstown Ohio yeah well you know
00:45:26
I'm from Pittsburgh I said I know that
00:45:27
Mr Kelly
00:45:29
yeah well I was from Pittsburgh I used
00:45:31
to play these gangster clubs uh in
00:45:34
Sharon PA
00:45:36
I said oh yeah I had a girlfriend once
00:45:38
that lived in Sharon PA I used to drive
00:45:40
down there you know three or four times
00:45:41
a week he said Sharon you drove the
00:45:43
Sharon
00:45:44
the [ __ ] are you telling me you drove
00:45:46
the shared Sharon's 150 [ __ ] miles
00:45:49
from Pittsburgh or from Youngstown I
00:45:51
said no no it's just over the line
00:45:53
it's like 10 miles Jesus I just [ __ ]
00:45:57
kid he's from Ohio he's telling me we're
00:45:59
sharing Pennsylvania he was mad
00:46:04
I'm at the other end of the table so I
00:46:07
mean he's going over everybody else you
00:46:09
know to tell me what a stupid [ __ ] I
00:46:12
was
00:46:13
so I I finally said to him well maybe
00:46:16
there's two sharing you know there's not
00:46:20
two Sharons God he won't let you off the
00:46:23
[ __ ] book I'm gonna make this short
00:46:26
I love this he talked about a lot of
00:46:29
other things you know Dan Fred Astaire
00:46:31
great stories
00:46:33
phenomenal stories you know the guy knew
00:46:35
everybody the popes you know the whole
00:46:37
thing so at the end of the evening where
00:46:39
he walked every he was very gracious now
00:46:41
you know
00:46:42
he walked everybody out to their cars
00:46:46
valets and now it's my turn with my
00:46:49
friend and he says uh he was calling me
00:46:51
Irish now you know hey Irish you got off
00:46:55
on the wrong foot
00:46:57
but you know I like it I like I like
00:46:59
something about you you know you're all
00:47:01
right Youngstown right Irish
00:47:04
come back anytime anytime you tell
00:47:07
so-and-so okay I go home
00:47:09
and I had an assistant and I said get a
00:47:12
[ __ ] nap a map a scale map uh
00:47:14
Youngstown to Sharon PA
00:47:17
and make it very clear and mail it to
00:47:20
this or hand delivered to this address
00:47:24
so he did
00:47:27
two weeks go by I thought this was a bad
00:47:30
move you know
00:47:32
and then I get a hand delivered note
00:47:34
I've got it right here you can actually
00:47:36
showed I I could show it oh we just read
00:47:40
it I guess it's Gene Kelly
00:47:43
stationary okay Kelly
00:47:45
uh dear Ed
00:47:48
they must have moved Sharon yeah
00:47:50
[Laughter]
00:47:53
uh and you know I've got it he said
00:47:57
listen uh
00:47:59
the the Rolling Rock which is the beer
00:48:02
in Pittsburgh the Rolling Rock and the
00:48:04
Humble Pie are on me
00:48:06
your friend Gene Kelly yeah great so
00:48:09
I've got that I've said of course I
00:48:10
framed it now nice I called his wife you
00:48:14
know I pushed it you know I called his
00:48:16
wife
00:48:17
and I said boy that was you know I told
00:48:19
her it's such a great so gracious you
00:48:21
know she said hey
00:48:23
that did not come easy
00:48:25
he was upstairs pouring over his Maps
00:48:29
[ __ ] and cursing and acting
00:48:31
things and finally he had you know he
00:48:34
finally he realized that you know he was
00:48:36
wrong about where Sharon PA was
00:48:38
it's a great story though right
00:48:43
[Music]
00:48:45
yeah well I think that what I'm getting
00:48:46
from today is behind the scenes kids
00:48:48
people who want to get into Show
00:48:50
Business everybody behind the scenes is
00:48:53
basically a guy with talks like this
00:48:54
what the [ __ ] is the matter with you
00:48:56
yeah get over here you son of a [ __ ]
00:48:59
even Gene Kelly Singing in the Rain he's
00:49:02
like what the [ __ ] [ __ ]
00:49:06
absolutely exactly exactly that's the
00:49:10
for talking to us and uh I have to tell
00:49:13
you I learned a lot that I learned that
00:49:15
had after 480 episodes is more humble
00:49:18
than I was after one 1-800 collect
00:49:20
commercial
00:49:21
and uh I take away Ed is nice and
00:49:26
Tilly's not nice and you never want to
00:49:30
meet that guy that's my takeaway well
00:49:34
that you know I mean look now who knows
00:49:37
I mean it's like you know I'm up to an
00:49:39
age now where I better watch myself but
00:49:42
yeah I got money on you yeah don't worry
00:49:44
yeah you know it was it was just the way
00:49:46
it was only it's just the way you grow
00:49:47
up you know you just grow up a certain
00:49:49
way and
00:49:59
thank you and I think this will uh this
00:50:02
will make a good eight minute show all
00:50:03
right bye guys thank you very much
00:50:06
see you later guys
00:50:09
hey what's up flies what's up fleas
00:50:11
what's up people that listen we want to
00:50:12
hear from you and your dumb questions
00:50:14
questions ask us anything anything you
00:50:17
want you can email us at fly on the wall
00:50:19
at cadence13.com
00:50:23
hey David we get letters as you know and
00:50:27
fans of of the podcast like to ask us
00:50:29
questions this is from Robert Prince
00:50:31
hey guys I've always loved the SNL
00:50:35
opening credits montage and was
00:50:37
wondering what your memories are
00:50:38
shooting them do you have any say in the
00:50:41
location or what you'd be doing during
00:50:44
your part thanks Robert in San Antonio
00:50:47
so what was your little video thing I
00:50:50
thought this question was about my
00:50:51
vintage op jacket but on sale now
00:50:54
wherever you find your jacket
00:50:56
wherever you find overpriced jackets
00:51:00
uh this is I like this because the
00:51:03
opening montage
00:51:05
it's always been pretty much the same
00:51:06
they pick a theme it's always a night
00:51:09
shoot you don't care because you just
00:51:10
got an SNL and you got to pick out what
00:51:13
to wear and I wore my own shirt
00:51:16
um
00:51:17
Sandler look cool and I used to always
00:51:18
bust as well because he kind of turned
00:51:19
the game
00:51:21
I go no no no it does a little yeah hey
00:51:25
what's going on what do you got going
00:51:26
and uh and when I come I'm like this
00:51:30
Showbiz I was like JonBenet I really
00:51:32
gave a new but I but you do a couple so
00:51:34
he put me in front of a bar or something
00:51:36
with lights Jim's thing really probably
00:51:37
right gym senior rally probably I had to
00:51:40
just run around a corner and kind of run
00:51:41
down a stairwell near a Subway or
00:51:44
something oh is that yours and then stop
00:51:46
on a dime and then I don't even know if
00:51:48
I looked up or anything I think we're
00:51:50
just playing like Cinema verite yeah
00:51:52
every year they did a different type of
00:51:54
theme so yeah I was an action figure
00:51:56
mine was you were kind of what's going
00:51:58
on around town because we had like 22
00:52:00
guys to cover so weren't you sitting on
00:52:01
a bike rack and then you just turned the
00:52:03
camera and go a thumbs up no I was in
00:52:04
the basket ring me
00:52:09
you were like E.T you were in the basket
00:52:11
up front I was riding the bike yeah
00:52:15
sort of like uh as as you know like
00:52:17
Gilligan's Island they go Dana Corby
00:52:19
Dennis Miller and the rest okay that's
00:52:21
all of us yeah you know how they they
00:52:23
[ __ ] the professor in me man oh yeah
00:52:26
oh I remember Marianne Saran Marianne
00:52:29
I'm thirsting how the third I can't
00:52:32
believe we're on This Island what was
00:52:33
that guy oh he was great someone told me
00:52:35
there's only like 12 episodes I go no
00:52:37
[ __ ] way there wasn't anything Bob
00:52:39
Denver would not sit down for 12
00:52:40
episodes yeah he wouldn't do that he was
00:52:44
gonna yeah it was that was a great show
00:52:46
I love those 60s damn it now it's all so
00:52:51
I like the opening credits but that
00:52:54
sad thing was
00:52:56
when I got there for my first show I
00:52:58
told the story when I got blocking it
00:53:00
did my first
00:53:01
Michael J fox impression I think it was
00:53:04
just a photo we did with Edie Baskin so
00:53:06
I'd say Ron featuring David Spade and
00:53:09
they just show a photo of us until we
00:53:12
got in the real Montage but
00:53:14
I did it and they forgot to put the
00:53:16
photo up I can't wait to yell at Kenny
00:53:18
among because all we do is say what a
00:53:20
nice guy is and he's the best guy in the
00:53:21
world but I know he feels horrible
00:53:23
because David David I forgot so they
00:53:26
didn't put me into no one knew it was me
00:53:27
doing it so at the beginning of the show
00:53:29
my one time to be
00:53:31
and it didn't happen and then the next
00:53:33
year I think I did the video opening
00:53:35
there that's all well Lovitz was giving
00:53:37
me a tour because he was on Saturday
00:53:39
Night Live and I got on Saturday live so
00:53:40
we're walking Dallas walking around 8 H
00:53:42
and his way you get your changes and
00:53:45
there's this stage and Don Pardo was
00:53:47
there that day
00:53:49
and I was kind of nervous just seeing
00:53:51
him and everything I know I might have
00:53:53
said this before but John goes say his
00:53:55
name Don say it you know what do you
00:53:58
mean his name's Dana Carvey say it you
00:54:02
know I go John he doesn't have to do
00:54:03
that so then he does go Dana call me you
00:54:07
know and just gave me chills I broke out
00:54:09
into a cold sweat and I fit myself in a
00:54:12
little ball and started sobbing you got
00:54:14
yourself into a shoe box right here the
00:54:17
nerves of that show man oh the noise
00:54:21
just walking in there it just gets you
00:54:22
tense oh you walk through there it's
00:54:24
like walking through the high school you
00:54:26
went to on a Sunday afternoon so you
00:54:29
know well yeah you get shook down we did
00:54:31
put you up against the wall and give me
00:54:33
your lunch money then our coach said
00:54:35
just start swinging I don't care how big
00:54:37
the guy is Don Pardo once
00:54:39
um stole money from me and pushed me
00:54:41
down and said don't tell the Lord
00:54:44
I want your lunch money come here you
00:54:47
little [ __ ]
00:54:51
you've got more than that I know what
00:54:53
you get here
00:54:55
I'm Don Foster and I'll [ __ ] you up I'll
00:54:58
[ __ ] you up
00:55:01
and drop your trousers David okay
00:55:05
thank you for that question sorry now
00:55:08
I'm going blue that means we're gonna
00:55:10
get sued we're canceled suit
00:55:13
[Music]
00:55:15
this has been a podcast presentation of
00:55:17
cadence 13. please listen then rate
00:55:19
review and follow all episodes available
00:55:22
now for free wherever you get your
00:55:24
podcast no joke folks
00:55:27
fly on the wall has been a presentation
00:55:29
of cadence 13 executive produced by Dana
00:55:32
Carvey and David Spade Chris Corcoran of
00:55:34
cadence 13 and Charlie finan of
00:55:37
brilstein entertainment the show's lead
00:55:38
producers Greg Holtzman with production
00:55:40
and Engineering support from Serena
00:55:42
Regan and Chris Basil of cadence 13.
