00:00:00
so love it's John Lovitz is on the show and I love this is an old buddy of ours and he's got a dog named Jerry and he's
00:00:06
goddamn Jerry is everywhere every time we go somewhere you know Jerry hello Cherry yeah he can never leave the house
00:00:13
without Jerry Jerry literally you know when I played Vegas Jerry would uh with John Jerry would just be behind the
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curtain just kind of waiting you know and then sometimes Jerry would wander out when John was doing stand-up crowd
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would go crazy and I hate to say it not that cute I hate to say it it's not that
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cute sometimes you know dogs are so ugly they're cute because they don't know how bizarre looking they are yeah it's like
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I'll give it that it's a toothy underbite yeah a tight little dog uh but
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but a sweet dog I saw another dog walk by and goes gross and dogs aren't
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usually judgmental like that gross do you have any dog routines too by the way what about Nick Cannon
00:00:57
another kid and he's Shameless he's out doing a [ __ ] gender reveal I'm like I
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would be like yeah I got another girl I like when anybody Eastwood anyone gets into that double-digit kid thing from a
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different array of women throughout multiple decades I'm getting warm I know I'm spoiling [ __ ] hot this is my new
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house Dana's first time in it and uh he likes it he said if you ever want to
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take a nice stroll with a girl just take your number away oh you say let's go for a long walk do we have to leave the
00:01:27
interior of the house no we're going for a five Miler I got lost three times here in 20 minutes I was just wandering
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upstairs and I did rifle through some personal items oh yeah I rifled through
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your drawers is that is that the only time human beings use the word rifle I think so a real rifle yes yeah but I
00:01:47
rifled through your drawers and saw some personal items yeah you know Dana uh we
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couldn't find you and I turn on your find my phone and that's how we found him he was over the East Wing I went by
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the life-size statue of yourself you made the loincloth was a nice touch is it bronze anyway David Spade
00:02:06
dishwasher all right dumb how many Instagram followers just throw it out there uh you know it's sort of bombing
00:02:13
now I'm more on Tick Tock look me up Tick Tock it's so gross but I'm too old
00:02:18
I don't know nothing about no tick tock kind of like when there were free channels how about my neighbors hate me
00:02:24
and they just made a thing where they went to the city and made sure we couldn't you had to have a parking
00:02:29
permit and only in front of my house really they [ __ ] me yeah one of them
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well I've been a neighbor for six weeks I'm like how much do you hate me within seconds to go to the city council this
00:02:42
guy is the worst she's the one who said it's giving my dog diarrhea I'm like you sure it's me
00:02:49
that's what you get for buying a house on Vendetta place I'd pick a different address Cowboy anyway it doesn't even
00:02:56
make sense that kind of did look John would love it can you do it what's your best impression John love it's
00:03:02
everyone's got one because he's so impressed he says I made him say this word on on one of my Instagram stories
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Balderdash but he can say it's so much better he's got such a good voice yeah it's a little May West actually
00:03:16
hello ladies we hear about John and Dana we
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won't say but we will ask about a movie you guys were both going to do a well-known movie oh I don't mind saying
00:03:26
it bad boys I'm saying we're not going to say it I don't he makes John why do they keep bringing it up why not it's
00:03:32
funny dude I turned down home alone because I was 28 and I could read I could play seven
00:03:39
but uh Macaulay Culkin got it I saw him at the final callbacks I go oh they're going way young I turned down Yoda the
00:03:46
original Star Wars I said no too much no because he did it that
00:03:52
way you did it regular like oh not try do and then you saw Yoda go in and do that and you go oh we're doing a weird
00:03:58
voice let me go in again let me try it again first comes fly on the wall there comes money that comes ladies
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yes could you stop making these cryptic
00:04:11
lists first campaign it's like Billy Bob Thornton and Sling Blade I don't know
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about no Yoda I would ask Yoda about Bitcoins back then and said Yoda [ __ ]
00:04:23
take care of your pal what's the story with them and then tell me about the Death Star whatever [ __ ] I'm
00:04:29
starting a currency I was gonna ask you to join in cryptic currency it's very sort of scary oh okay cryptic all right
00:04:37
back to love it back to love it speaking of John Lovett uh we'll let him tell you the story of his life because when you
00:04:44
have love it's on have a nice listen I used to say that about having lunch
00:04:50
with Lauren Michaels because Lauren's a brilliant talker um John Lovitz he hates this is so
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naturally funny I'm not naturally funny it's the way it's the it's my acting and
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my writing no he's got a funny bone like there's people in the comedy just have a funny bone and he is no matter what we
00:05:09
say no matter what anybody says he's funny
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he's a good actor and all that stuff but he just has a funny way about him which is you know you can't teach that well
00:05:22
John John uh loves to tease and so if you if you just go and you're having a
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conversation with he'll start getting you defensive you don't even know it what what do I what you didn't
00:05:33
want to come to the lunch you just came because you felt pressure he'll just say that out of the blue so then you go no
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and then you start coming back at him yeah last time he saw me as a Mustang because my car's blue jealous
00:05:45
I think I can get a blue car can you I know he was at the Knicks game in New
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York and he was sitting on the court for the first time on his life my feet are on the wood
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jealous [Music]
00:06:04
Lauren said that to me he was he said someone said I was the most naturally funny person on us now I said you think
00:06:11
I'm the most the funniest person that ever did at scenarios no naturally funny John lovetts ladies and gentlemen how
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are you how do I know you two I met John at the beach house oh that's
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right you guys shared the beach house no gervitz and love is sure beach house on
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Malibu and for people that don't know that's where we'd go and jump in the
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water I'd go with Chris I think and Farley and then one time that's right Brad Pitt was there sometimes right that
00:06:42
was exciting so we're talking the 80s Malibu 90s no 90s sorry 90s Malibu beach house
00:06:51
which I went to yeah the three of us have been friends for years for those of you listening
00:06:57
and are still friends that's where that's where sweet Chris Farley like I'm
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out on the uh patio and and then I'm talking to John Chris came out totally
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naked but with suds all over him like soap like almost that story that was it
00:07:15
that's a great story yeah I saw it so you must have done it more than once I
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know but it's funny hey John what about when uh there's a Malibu fires in there Chris was at the beach yeah I remember
00:07:26
David you called him and said you go where he goes I'm at the beach he goes it's nice but it's really cloudy because
00:07:33
you idiot those aren't clouds there's a fire it's smoke
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he had no idea it was like Tommy Boy but in real life the street was on fire
00:07:44
literally the hell across the street and then and then it ended up happening to put this in your pockets but the five
00:07:50
guards down a house burnt down and they rebuilt it and that was the house David that you oh that's when I bought that
00:07:57
burned down oh my God that house burned down in that fire yeah wow they rebuilt
00:08:03
it it was all wood and they rebuilt the same but like I guess whatever it was duck horse you meant I was never invited
00:08:10
even though I invited you to mine I just wanna you said some a minute ago John that made me laugh but I don't know if
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it was just sort of an offhand comment of sincere seriously calling your friend an idiot kind of like The Three Stooges
00:08:21
is it is no you idiot those are clouds does any adult male just go no you idiot
00:08:28
no that's what David said to Farley but did David really say no you idiot I
00:08:33
think so yeah I mean no because that's how we would talk and that turned in it just sounds like Three Stooges no you
00:08:39
idiot do you really you would call Chris say that to Chris that's funny that's this yeah Chris and David called names
00:08:47
and it's cloudy as you idiot well listen to me listen to me you fool
00:08:52
I will tell you when I got to SNL Lovitz was there and I was a fan and uh
00:08:58
and I I knew Dana a little bit I knew Kevin a little bit and then love it I just seen on the show and we talked over
00:09:06
I think where you have dinner you know in that little area and uh you were lighting the show so we got a chance to
00:09:11
talk but you you weren't usually like Michelle and John was lighting the show and uh but he never was but then we
00:09:18
talked because I was I was saying I have to write now and no one tells you how to write you know you just get a you know
00:09:24
yellow pad and a wooden desk and a pen and so I said I'll write you something and you said yeah okay and so I wrote
00:09:30
you a sketched about a guy who's this mad scientist that turns into a puffer fish so he uh when he gets mad he turns
00:09:37
into a puffer fish and and I wrote it and then it was probably 17 pages and
00:09:43
five different sets and then they I don't think Shoemaker put it in read through because I have no memory of that
00:09:49
it was yeah I don't think we we did it because it was it sounds funny it sounds funny I like the premise because I
00:09:55
realized you know this is your guy's podcast but the reality is you both look
00:10:00
up to me because I was on the show before both of you true that actually is true I remember seeing
00:10:07
John in the 85 season and he immediately stood out to me your
00:10:13
presence and your voice with Master this guy Master this guy sorry Master that is
00:10:19
Freudian slip it's on it's on uh it's on live streaming everywhere kids John did uh Master thespian and the liar and they
00:10:26
were just so uh potent characters and so different than anything that had been on
00:10:33
the show don't you think John and me they were eccentric thank you well I you know what happened I was in the growlings theater and I did those
00:10:39
characters and then I I never forget I got Saturday Night Live which I now people go to the growlings to try to get
00:10:46
on us now I never thought I'd be on it in a million years I just wanted to get in the in the company and get seen and
00:10:52
get work and on the um on the ninth floor you know uh was the uh the up the
00:10:59
the bleacher seats so I was up there and and right at the entrance on the right was a glass case and it had like John on
00:11:07
a like a mannequin John Belushi's bee costume and next to that was Eddie Murphy's
00:11:13
Gumby costume with a life of Eddie Murphy and I remember looking at that going oh my God I go I can't do what
00:11:20
they did you know they were huge you know icons I'm like and then I just thought what am I going
00:11:25
to do and I go well I guess I'll just be funny the way I'm funny and either it'll work or this is
00:11:31
the end of the road and it didn't work yeah and it no it didn't work no I the puffer fish could have really
00:11:39
but but actually by the time work it exceeded anyone's expectations John you
00:11:45
were huge from uh what were the big ones at that point you already did a liar right when you came on but when I first
00:11:52
when I got the show Dynamite it was a producer and she goes here's who he
00:11:57
thinks gonna break out on the show and you weren't on the list no no really
00:12:05
Danny you walked away when I got the show Dynamite it was the British shows John here's what we think's gonna break
00:12:10
out Joan Cusack Robert Downey Jr Perry Sweeney Randy someone else so she's
00:12:17
telling you say my name I go you know I'm on the show right no I was the last guy they expected they
00:12:23
didn't expect me to be the guy that broke out and Dino Minot was one of them a producer on the show for several years
00:12:31
she's great [Music]
00:12:37
but I I want to go back to the growlings for a second because okay we've talked about this on other podcasts you you
00:12:43
have a a way of making your voice incredibly loud like really so no who
00:12:50
else did who else could have done Master thessman because that seems to be just hurts coming from I mean it must have
00:12:56
just I was in college and uh I had a Shakespeare Professor William needles who was a great he was like the the
00:13:03
member of the movie Professor chips where they all loved their Professor he was like that to all the students and he
00:13:09
was great to me I saw his improv group pins and needles no pins and needles the
00:13:16
coconut yes he was in the Stratford Festival in Canada he was like he mentored people like uh Maggie Smith the
00:13:23
great actress oh Jesus credits him anyway so he came to Irvine to teach us UC Irvine as a drama major to teach just
00:13:30
Shakespeare and he did it the first time I'd never heard it in person and really
00:13:35
at all and and he said now I'm going to do some Shakespeare for you and then his voice completely changed he went oh for
00:13:40
him he was a fire that were descended the brightest Heaven of invention and I
00:13:46
heard that I was like what the [ __ ] is that I never heard him I like it and I could just somehow imitate him right but
00:13:52
I like actors with those booming voices like him and John Barrymore and John Carradine if you see him in the Ten
00:13:59
Commandments oh yeah you hear his voice booming off the sound stages so loud and
00:14:04
so I was just somehow able to do it I don't know how I think also for my father he would yell a lot and I picked
00:14:10
it up from him stop it it all goes back to all of our dads were
00:14:16
a little crazy yeah you gotta have a crazy dad to be a comedian basically yeah I think yeah and
00:14:22
uh but I just love the Lawrence Olivier just I like that Fiat it was Larry but
00:14:28
bigger than life but theatrical that's what you know so like Peter O'Toole's
00:14:33
like that you know he's real but he's so Dynamic and Theatrical that it's it's thrilling you know for me that's the
00:14:40
kind of performance I like Nicholas Cage would talk about that I'll give you an example of a performance like that in
00:14:45
modern times that Dana you love is a real but theatrical and bigger than life
00:14:51
and yet real was the Al Pacino a Scarface right what are you talking
00:14:56
about mom you don't know why you talking about yeah no it was it was operatic and
00:15:01
the whole film was operatic and so it was very bigger than life but the it's I
00:15:07
believe unless I misheard this that Al Pacino says that's his favorite role
00:15:12
even though some critics had an issue with it but I think it's kind of brilliant I don't think it's starting to meet him and I I told him that how much
00:15:19
you love it and you imitate it well when he's in those people he goes people come up to me with lines that
00:15:25
aren't from that movie that aren't even like the catchphrase lines and he goes and they repeat them to me look at the
00:15:31
little birds the bird is gonna fly man say goodbye to the bad guy all of it is
00:15:36
musical to me it's like the Beatles or something yeah brilliant I'm in Al Pacino and he was talking about all my
00:15:42
stuff so much I never even got around to Scarface anyway go ahead oh look I'm looking for a very handsome
00:15:51
cowboy man I've seen it he was also in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood which is another one of my current favorites dude
00:15:59
do that line again is that for what he's talking about Brad Pitt yeah he's coming to the the bar Tina Gina Gina the woman
00:16:05
in the Mystic light I'm looking for a very handsome cowboy man you know I I
00:16:11
try yeah let's face it man I'm a goddamn ham spin would that guy say to you since
00:16:17
he wants more go do some Italian westerns don't cry in front of the Mexicans I'm just going in the movie is
00:16:22
that Brad that's a good brand Brad Pitt oh yeah my wife and I quote him all the time it's a good plan when he has to
00:16:29
fire him I'm sorry I'm gonna gonna have to let you go I I don't think I can afford to keep you I think that's a good
00:16:35
plan I try it's funny because you mentioned the beach house and all of us were friends and and and
00:16:40
uh Cynthia Pat Brad's manager who rented a house next door and Brad was always there and
00:16:46
it's fun to see like you know know everybody I remember Brad Cynthia Pat his manager said hey can I
00:16:53
have a client can you say hi to you he's a big fan what's the name Brad Pitt I go okay and then I had to look at her
00:16:59
what's his name again she goes Brad I go oh hey Brad hey I didn't even no one had heard of him a week later he had a
00:17:05
tattoo of him I know I did no but it's funny it's fun
00:17:10
that you you know you guys are known now but it meant what David was I remember the first time I saw David Dana um you
00:17:17
brought me to see him at a club and you said he's kind of he's really he's really why don't you say he's funny
00:17:24
no yeah but you know he's like he really he really looks up to he Dennis Miller and I
00:17:30
he kind of yeah we were kind of his mom and dad I remember I saw Dave I saw you David I was like oh my God he's uh he's
00:17:36
a total mix of debt he didn't I don't think he found your voice yet yeah that's true those guys I really liked
00:17:42
and I think at the beginning you you you are styles of the your people you like
00:17:47
the most and then it just turns into its own and then I knew it because someone's Sandler goes I saw this guy and he
00:17:53
reminded me of you I go oh he goes he's biting a lot of your [ __ ] I go oh I'm at the point where someone's doing it like
00:17:58
me I like that better nice yes now you
00:18:04
guys were great that's why and we got and SNL was uh we oh I had a question for you you guys did wait no I'll go
00:18:11
back we did Conan together that was one of the first movies John what did you do in Conan's because there's a million cameos
00:18:17
in Coneheads yeah were you in Conan's yeah it was the oh yeah I thought you
00:18:22
said Conan Coneheads that was the uh uh the dentist oh that's right when his
00:18:27
mouth opens really big and his open's huge oh that's right it goes like four feet yeah yeah and I kind of I kind of
00:18:32
played it like my dad like a doctor I played and then I made up a thing that I the the the the nurse in it
00:18:40
it wasn't in the script I said let's just pretend that we're like having a fight but we're trying to cover it up
00:18:45
that's a good choice
00:18:51
you know the director they got I think because he directed um the Take on Me
00:18:57
video and he did that needless it's like it's
00:19:02
like black and white and it looks like uh you know someone sketched it and the guy jumps out of it that was such a big
00:19:08
video Steve Barron I think they got him to direct Conan I don't know if he's like a huge comedy director but he had
00:19:15
me you Sandler Carly was in it yeah Farley Ellen DeGeneres Sinbad Phil
00:19:22
um a friend of mine was in it um uh because he's friends with Dan Edward Mitchell
00:19:28
Barbara and Mitchell was like um in the in the 60s he was the world karate
00:19:34
champion he was one of the best Taekwondo karate guy uh of the 60s he
00:19:40
like he he was better than Chuck Norris and he was very close friends with Bruce
00:19:45
Lee but and I'm still friends with him he's a really nice guy he was in Coneheads but working with Dan Aykroyd
00:19:51
was the best because you know he used to be on the show and I remember well Dan I I don't know if you remember David but
00:19:56
uh uh when Dan eckloyd came to the show and he did uh Bob Dole yes I remember
00:20:03
that and then he took all of us out to dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe and he gave us these Hard Rock Cafe jackets and we
00:20:09
were all like dead broke and I was sitting next to Jan Hooks and she goes who is this guy because he was just so
00:20:16
nice and he treated us so great and in a movie
00:20:21
my Stepmother's nailing years late in 88 but he yeah when those guys came to the show it was just so thrilling oh it was
00:20:27
so crazy when Dan ack would walk on how are you yeah you're doing good stuff here yeah you guys are doing great job you know what do you guys remember this
00:20:34
it's just a pain in the scene when you're on Saturday Night Live just weird things happen like one time I just
00:20:40
walked into Lauren's office on the ninth floor and Mick Jagger was sitting there ooh you know it's like oh a Mick Jagger
00:20:47
or when there's a host the host is down the on on this what
00:20:52
floor eighth floor whatever it's the host is down there waiting they're like Charlton Heston would like to meet you
00:20:58
and you're kind of nervous like you're walking to meet this celebrity you've known your whole life it was interesting
00:21:03
right to me my my first year on the show Jerry Hall was hosting with Mick Jagger's girlfriend and she had an idea
00:21:11
for a sketch and I didn't realize it was her way of getting back at Mick for lying to her it
00:21:17
was with my liar character it's about 40 on Saturday Lauren says hey John uh Mick Jagger's in
00:21:24
the studio can you go downstairs and show them how to do the your liar character I go okay and I go down there and I meet him and
00:21:30
I'm saying well anyway I do this character and in my head I'm like oh my God this is crazy I'm explaining Mick
00:21:37
Jagger how I do this oh my God I'm older than this I took between a friend of mine and I you know Lisa and I know it's
00:21:43
surreal right now I'm explaining the Mick Jagger and he goes yes that's
00:21:49
that's the ticket damn it could he do it I mean was it yeah we went on the air and if you saw this dance now you've got
00:21:56
you'd look at it and go John is that you or your son anyway and I was so skinny
00:22:01
and then the Jerry hollering at a bar and I'm hitting on her and she mentions the stones she was oh you know Mick
00:22:08
Jagger and oh yeah we were in Vietnam together Whitney Brown wrote the wrote
00:22:13
the sketch it comes in and then he goes yeah I know Tommy I go yeah we were fishing and I go
00:22:20
big little big you know and we start lying and about a year later he she
00:22:25
called up the show and invited Dennis Miller and I and Nora over to their house out of the blue and we couldn't
00:22:32
find Nora so Dennis Miller and I went you mean you didn't look for her we're in their living room and Mick Jagger
00:22:37
goes oh I I know what that liar thing is now I didn't then and Dennis and I they had a cross in their living room there
00:22:44
was a mirror above the couch where Mick and Jerry hawison and and Dennis and I
00:22:49
are eyes caught in the mirror and afterward we went outside of a dentist were you thinking what I was thinking just now I go yeah we were both like a
00:22:56
year and a half ago we're like dead broke and now we're sitting in Mick Jagger's living room in his house in New
00:23:02
York stopped like I know you get just to set the scene for people listening it's just you're you're kind of usually when
00:23:09
you get cast on SNL you're unknown you're just fledgling and then you're on live TV and then you're meeting all
00:23:16
these celebrities you remember the night you me and Dennis went into the Columbus Cafe sitting in the back was Mick Jagger
00:23:22
and David Bowie we hung out with them for a while and then Bowie wanted to hang out you want to go dancing and
00:23:28
we're like yeah yeah so we're hanging out with Bowie and he showed us that move where you plant your left foot
00:23:34
they're dancing with David Bowie and that was I'd been on the show like four months or something it was like crazy
00:23:40
yeah oh just to set the scene for those of you Dana isn't wearing anything because people are okay go ahead I'm not
00:23:47
doing a tubing well look I noticed what Howard Stern
00:23:53
interviews people he kind of re orientates things because we get ahead of ourselves so David did you have a
00:23:59
favorite celebrity that your first boy you went on like what was your first remember coming
00:24:05
on I think the first I did four shows before the summer it was Corbin Bernson Al Baldwin Dice Clay and Candy Bergen
00:24:14
and oh so you you were there I remember all them yeah I remember Alec Baldwin
00:24:19
it's all very nice and uh Alec Baldwin that Monday meeting you here he's there
00:24:24
they go everyone's gonna meet the host you really don't know how it works and I go cram in that room and he's sitting
00:24:30
there in a black turtleneck with black hair comb back and blue eyes and I'm like this guy's a [ __ ] stud like some
00:24:36
people you go and he's like how's it going and then you go oh that's a movie store I they screened the movie for you
00:24:42
so I just see Hunter walk out come to work and then they're all you know he's right there and Sharon Stone he's a
00:24:50
movie star some people in my head I thought that's a star and some people I thought it sounds mean but I go they got
00:24:56
nothing like I I have to read through I'd go I I go it's kind of you know what I mean I go it's kind of they got in the
00:25:02
right place right time nothing thing wrong with it but just I got nothing and here's a list of those people no I'm
00:25:07
kidding well I remember when we did the show in the first five years you had to be a major major movie star and then
00:25:14
once in a while they'd have somebody from television like Ted Danson house did but he was the number one show on
00:25:21
air or yeah or remember we at athletes but they had to be like Superstar with Wayne Gretzky and then Joe Montana and
00:25:28
Walter Payton yeah um you know but you had to be the show goes in lulls I mean
00:25:33
one of my years one of my years the host went from the first lead of like a TV
00:25:39
show like the second lead you know I mean sometimes they book people and I'm like Dana and Mike are bigger Stars than the
00:25:46
host you know you're a Sandler you know I mean you're going this person coming in here I I think it's we're missing the
00:25:53
mark a little bit now because everyone's getting so big on the show it was hard to be more famous than yeah I mean it
00:25:59
was Dana I had to keep acting like humble and like oh I'm nothing you're the big thing I was Starstruck
00:26:06
that next to me he was just John can I can I enter can I interject a memory because I think
00:26:13
it was so funny back to Alec Baldwin being two things about Alec Baldwin first time he hosted he goes I want to
00:26:19
do this I go he goes you think I want to be on a [ __ ] submarine go I I sir like he didn't want to be in those
00:26:24
corporate movies he wanted to be a sketch player and then Victoria because of his crazy blue eyes and he was
00:26:30
incredibly incredibly handsome she goes I'm not gonna do it not this week I'm
00:26:35
not gonna do it I go what I'm not gonna fall in love with him and then and then by Friday she go I
00:26:44
lost I fell in love with him again if she sees the eyes if he locks eyes
00:26:50
with her she falls in love if he pays attention to you one time he was doing a De Niro and we were I think it was for
00:26:56
update we were behind the uh stage you know live show and you know people do this sometimes like he was getting
00:27:03
pumped up and then he dropped and did about 15 push-ups right before right before they came back because he wanted
00:27:08
to get a pump and go out there and look big I love it I go that's the [ __ ] I love to see something I would have maybe
00:27:15
not I don't know and then he became a great sketch player you know for on that show so he did it he was great Sharon
00:27:22
Stone had like a star thing beautiful stunning comes in like basically the ginger music from Gilligan's Island
00:27:28
style when she walks in it's like wow we go oh my God and I just done Police
00:27:34
Academy before with her and uh I had a did you do you guys have any sorry to interrupt that you just no it was
00:27:40
starting to bomb uh this is one of those things that tell me if you've had an experience like this so Chris Evert was
00:27:46
the host and somehow I don't remember but we had a scene where we i j we jump
00:27:52
on a bed together and we kind of make out believe it or not and so that happened and she came up and
00:27:58
she was blushing and I didn't we never really talked about it was nothing it was just pretending
00:28:03
so I'm doing a stand-up date in Hawaii right before the pen two years ago I
00:28:09
come out it's it's a big giant there's like maybe 500 people out there at night I'm coming out she's in the front row
00:28:15
and she goes you made out with me on a bed and it was 30 years later
00:28:22
and you had her kicked out because she's a Heckler and then Victoria Jackson was there again I'm not gonna do it this
00:28:27
week I'm not gonna film it look at the host they're there for a week but it's such an intense experience that they
00:28:34
they never forget like they feel close to you years later you know totally I
00:28:39
forget you it's it's only a week
00:28:44
[Music] do you remember Alex first he got he got
00:28:50
up for an Emmy for the first show but remember green hilly the sketch I think it was Jack Handy
00:28:55
where he he's like in a sopra and they they look and the music comes up and they and he starts kissing Jan and then
00:29:01
he goes over here and the music comes up he starts kissing the maid and then he looks over and there's like a puppet in the window and he starts making out with
00:29:07
the puppet uh it's called Green Hill anyway you guys thanks for the Deep dive
00:29:12
um I mean I don't even know if you guys were there you guys saw a break room so John
00:29:18
um you get on the show and who are the hosts that first season
00:29:24
you were on oh boy did you remember the very the very first host was Mo oh boy
00:29:29
was Madonna and she was there she was there for two weeks
00:29:35
shut up what do you mean she came a week early and so the first thing I ever did on the show was a short film that I
00:29:43
think George Meyer wrote it and where I'm we're in Central Park and the the scene
00:29:48
well she's supposed to be driving in the country and she keeps hearing a sound in her from the under her uh the hood of
00:29:54
her car and when she opens it up her Hood I jump out and attack her and that was the first thing I ever I
00:30:00
did and I remember doing that and and she was dating Sean Penn at the time when he was watching and I'm like oh God
00:30:06
he's not gonna like this me jumping all over his girlfriend and um but she was really nice and and uh I ended up that's
00:30:14
that you know I ended up I worked with her again of course in A League of Their Own and uh she worked
00:30:19
her she worked so hard you know people go who's successful I go well the two people like two of the most successful
00:30:24
people I know are Madonna and Adam Sandler and they also work harder than they just that's all they do all day
00:30:30
every day they just you know they're unbelievable they've just never stop and
00:30:36
um she was the host I remember Danny DeVito and uh that was fun no that was
00:30:41
later I mean my first year oh Paul Simon I'm I I I just I remember having a
00:30:47
sketch with him and I met him Warren's best best friend and so we all got to see Paul at parties and get to know Paul
00:30:54
Simon which was really good he was very nice hey Paul and um who I'm trying to
00:30:59
think God there was oh oh Terry Garn Tom Hanks and I ended up becoming friends with
00:31:06
both of them hey did you did you meet Tom Hanks there or on big no I met him on no I met him on when he
00:31:13
hosted SNL and he goes we went we went to uh lunch
00:31:21
and then he goes you want to watch yes we went he goes and when I first met was I think you know my girlfriend who's your girlfriend he was Rita Wilson they
00:31:27
go oh Rita of course I know Rita and she was uh she was friends with Robin Schiff
00:31:33
who wrote Romy and Michelle's that movie uh yeah and and but yeah and
00:31:40
and Robin was in the ground I was friends with Robin in the Groundlings we were in the group together and she was friends with Rita's right I'd met Rita
00:31:46
before Tom met her you know and I remember one time she came by she's always really nice like what are you doing she was I got this movie with John
00:31:52
Candy and Tom Hanks called volunteers I'm gonna go shoot and they oh that's so great is that where they met yeah and uh
00:31:59
hmm is there anything so but basically I don't know it was in 1985. hey John to set the scene for our
00:32:07
listeners you're still not wearing pants go on
00:32:13
John I'm still not wearing pants John gets on Saturday Night Live in one of a rebuilding year let's just put it that
00:32:19
way no it wasn't no it was it was the first yeah but it was the first year that Lauren had come back after being
00:32:25
away after five years and before you it was Martin Short Billy Crystal Christopher guess year right that was
00:32:33
successful and then they brought in uh Randy Quaid and other people like that that were known movie stars yeah Anthony
00:32:41
Michael Holly was 17 Robert Downey Jr he was 20 Cameron very funny guy danitra
00:32:48
Vance God bless her soul great great junk Cusack uh Dennis Miller and Nora
00:32:53
Dunn and so did tell me what your mind first of all you're on the show did the
00:32:58
show uh was it immediately a little shaky I mean when did they get a sense of like
00:33:03
this wasn't gelling because no well that what happened was it the cast did yell
00:33:09
that's the thing you go how can people that talented not gel well we did but but it was a
00:33:15
after the third like after the second show I did the last I didn't the liar character my second show there's 20
00:33:21
shows in this season and then Robert Smigel you know who you all know I was a writer his first year in the show he
00:33:28
said John this and does triumph the install dog to set the scene for those of you listening for those who are
00:33:33
listening uh Roberto is a friend of ours hey this electrician it works at NBC was just in Lauren's
00:33:40
office and he said that liar thing's the funniest thing I've seen in years so Lauren goes really so then Lauren said
00:33:45
we're gonna do the liar again why don't you write it with a Whitney Brown and thank God because I didn't know what to do with the character after that so I
00:33:52
always give Whitney 50 credit after that we wrote it together and he really helped me expand the character
00:33:58
and I learned a lot about writing jokes from Whitney it was great from San Francisco I did stand up with him for
00:34:04
years yeah and so we we did it but uh this article came out
00:34:11
I remember in TV Guide and it was already our 11th show and it goes Saturday night dead and so good and
00:34:17
the guy was reviewing the first three shows he wasn't mentioning the fact that the whole country by this point was
00:34:23
imitating my liar character and there had been a lot of sketches that were funny and um so it wasn't it wasn't a
00:34:29
total disaster but it got slammed so much so the last show I didn't know if I
00:34:34
was coming back I didn't know who was they well just tell people about the fire thing yeah so so the last show they
00:34:40
decided will just like make fun of ourselves so Angelica Houston was the host
00:34:46
and then we had it was like special special guest star Billy Martin who was the manager of the
00:34:52
Yankees a really nice very soft spoke but he was known as a real hothead too so anyway the sketch was that Billy
00:35:00
Billy was mad that he wasn't in the show more so he set the studio on fire and so that was the sketch and so Lauren
00:35:09
is sending everybody into the room where the fire is then I come on goes no no John don't all the writers were there
00:35:14
and he said but all the all you writers go into that room and then I went in he goes no John John went downstairs to me
00:35:21
my limo oh all right and then at the end of the of the um show they wrote the credits and they had
00:35:28
a question mark after everybody's name and everybody's like in a fire screaming and I'm watching that live yeah and I
00:35:35
remember Terry Sweeney the day before was like he didn't like the sketch and I go and I said Terry it's not a real fire
00:35:42
there's no it's a sketch it's not real and then I thought about it and I go well what if I was the one being sent into the fire nothing you would have
00:35:48
cried oh I get like upset but nobody knew who was coming back and then they said we want people that you work well
00:35:55
with and I recommended Phil Hartman Tim stack Lynn Stewart and tress McNeil from the Groundlings and so they they did you
00:36:02
recommend me or David I didn't know either of you but I do remember but still our managerstein and Brad gray and
00:36:10
when Phil and I met you Dana in the office and we didn't know you but we met you for the first time and then when you
00:36:15
left fell and I go oh we'll help that guy gets the show he's so nice you're welcome yes the uh the late great Phil
00:36:22
Hartman and you uh it was funny because I was you know I was in awe of the whole thing and I'm in New York and I'm just
00:36:29
hanging out with you guys and you guys knew each other very well so you guys would often do gangster voices back and
00:36:35
forth right hey how you doing right yeah we loved old movies from the 40s why for two cents I said damn what would you do
00:36:41
for a nickel just cross that line you wish I hadn't you can see us doing that in his
00:36:46
audition she said to me Dana why did they always talk like that do they do other things I think so I think so
00:36:56
maybe I miss you remember that you're coming into my office and going hey go you go let's write something together
00:37:01
and I'm like well what are you doing because I'm going to hit my wagon to a winner which is a and I'm like what are
00:37:07
you talking about I think Andy wrote A Sketch with Phil and Dana where Dana was a young punk I
00:37:13
could have played it and uh and then um and you you take a hostage and me and Matt Pete might repeated it to this day
00:37:19
where he goes come on Johnny relax Johnny No One's Gonna Hurt You Johnny yeah I love it anything with Johnny
00:37:26
don't be scared Johnny I got your best for you but you finally put a sketch in black and white a spoof at the front
00:37:33
page and I don't remember much about it but we're all talking like the 40s but I remember Dana your language
00:37:40
that was in Lauren thought that might be the next catchphrase because I used to do it my stand-up in the 40s movies why
00:37:47
I ought to pound you so I wrote my part I did it three times and Lauren thought
00:37:53
maybe that's the next thing we should do another pound you uh sketch I found you
00:37:58
guy David did you have a catch phrase uh when you came in or you developed catchphrases later
00:38:05
Lauren goes I got one for you you're fired and I go I don't know is that a cat
00:38:10
crazy no I meant I'm sorry to say it funny you're fired will you add but bye
00:38:16
bye-bye later in the oh bye-bye and then the only first thing I got that caught on was that receptionist going and you
00:38:22
are and that was the first time I did a sketch that was like an attitude instead of just jokes like I would do jokes on
00:38:28
update from my actor jokes about going to a concert and then just jokes about when you're at a concert and how hard it
00:38:33
is having a younger attitude of like you know I go to concerts and I drink and then Conan was like you should try to do
00:38:38
a I always tell them this I don't know if he remembers do more of a concept I didn't know what that meant for a script
00:38:43
because it doesn't have to be this joke joke and then when I was Patrick Swayze was the host and his handler was waiting
00:38:50
by the writers room on 17 and it was empty and he was in there and you know you're supposed to have access to the
00:38:56
host and I walk and I start to go in and talk to him and she stops me and goes whoa whoa whoa what can I help you and I
00:39:03
go oh I just want to talk to Patrick she goes and you are and I go uh I'm a writer and this is regarding and I go oh
00:39:11
I just want to write a sketch she goes um it's really crazy right now maybe you can come back later and I go isn't he
00:39:16
just sitting there reading People magazine and then she goes yeah it's just really tricky right now and so I walked away and then when I went to LA
00:39:22
it happened to me again and I go you know what that's there's something funny about that I just don't know if it's a
00:39:28
sketch or how to formulate I think I went to Odenkirk or those guys and said how do you help me put this together and
00:39:33
it was a five to one sketch with MC Hammer and then the next time it was an opening sketch I remember that because I
00:39:39
I'd been on a few years and I was really doing well on the show so I would kind of tease the writers like because I had
00:39:44
a part in that and you are and in front of in front of MC Hammer I said to
00:39:49
Smuggler somebody go what do you want you want a big laugh here you want an Applause break what do you need and MC
00:39:55
Hammer laughed so hard he loved the idea of me being that cocky what do you want
00:40:01
you want a double left a little left and a big left and then another Applause break anyway Our Guest today is John
00:40:07
Lovitz now John can I wait I want to say it's weird that you said Conan said to do that because
00:40:12
the year before forever they wouldn't let me do it I had a sketch it was my
00:40:18
all my characters are arrogant idiots so it was the richest man in the world but he's an idiot and so so he's like of
00:40:26
course I have there's like a board room of of guy in suits and I go okay well
00:40:31
I'm after Safari goodbye everybody goodbye right and then Lauren's and I kept trying to get along goes you can't
00:40:36
do a whole sketch to say goodbye everybody goodbye and then I know and
00:40:41
and then I snuck it in and tales of Rebel tree at the end I said well everybody goodbye in the whole room
00:40:48
cheer then the next year I see David going bye-bye I'm like hello and then I see Conan going John he just wanted to
00:40:55
say goodbye everybody goodbye there was no character no it was Mr Canby the richest man in the world and he was and
00:41:01
then he goes it was a he was an idiot but he just was lucky so they go where are you going because I'm going on
00:41:06
Safari they go what do we do while you're gone I don't know buy Kit Kat so I leave the room and then Phil and and
00:41:13
Whitney are talking about KitKat what a more and you go yeah buy a bike KitKat
00:41:18
you know and Phil hangs up the phone no Whitney goes yeah buy a you know 100 shares of KitKat and or something he's
00:41:26
such an idiot and then the phone rings and Phil goes hello what you're kidding what Kit Kat just went up 300 million oh
00:41:33
I remember this schedule and then come back in and go hello everybody I forgot my wallet
00:41:39
let me go you got Mr Cannon KitKat just went up 300 million they go well you see buy what you love and you can't go wrong
00:41:46
and Lauren fell out laughing it well Lauren's a great restaurant he
00:41:53
wouldn't do it and then you got bye-bye oh it never got on because I thought it was funny I could buy everybody goodbye
00:41:59
it's like the thing the thing you do these nonsensical rhythms that make me laugh one thing you do I've seen you on
00:42:04
your stand up you go hello something like what a night what a town what advice what is this and then and then at
00:42:10
the end you go have you seen that what a town what a crowd and have you seen the town yeah see that is so silly and
00:42:16
doesn't even make sense but it makes me laugh so hard have you seen the town it just makes I like Madness but there
00:42:24
you got bye-bye you got goodbye very goodbye and I had I got the gut I got to go with the oh yeah funny funny little
00:42:31
uh Mr funny little poopy head I got to got to got to go that was mine I'm gonna say this
00:42:36
what was the point of that sketch anyway well I thought it might work Jan Jan the
00:42:41
late great Jan Hooks played Mrs final poopy head it was so I could get I'm gonna go in with him and I'm going with
00:42:48
him I love that Lauren would read the stage Direction in in our read-throughs
00:42:53
and so what I did in the stage Direction I had Lauren I made Lauren say funny little poopy head like 300 times funny
00:43:00
little poopy head sits down now I knew but I knew you told me and I couldn't I was crying laughing funny little poopy
00:43:06
head games and it was just making fun of catch phrases on our show I was making fun of Catchphrase and Lauren knew what
00:43:12
I was doing you know but yeah but he didn't know about the funny little poopy but Lauren has this Regal kind of uh you
00:43:19
know super smart funny way of speaking so to make him say something so stupid
00:43:25
anyway so John Lovitz it was one of the funniest
00:43:30
things ever there's a two-parter this is for Dana and John oh God this isn't Dana's interview this is mine but go
00:43:37
ahead for those of you who are just joining us uh set the scene Dana's not wearing an
00:43:44
underwear David Spade is drunk and I'm no one has combed their hair I'm having
00:43:49
sex with my dog I think everyone I think it was a very interesting story to hear
00:43:55
even if it's a short one that the movie Bad Boys was for you guys with Will
00:44:01
Smith and marvelous and it was yeah I think it's I don't think that many people know that I think it's unreal is
00:44:07
that the year you did the American Express commercial in the Super Bowl was that right a few years after that we
00:44:12
did that in like 89 or 90 John and I got offered an American Express commercial and that was the first year they kept
00:44:19
track of them and our ours K ours I didn't even think it was that good but it came out number one on the ad meter
00:44:25
for some reason for the Super Bowl we were ranked number one that was amazing yeah I remember we shot at Miami New
00:44:32
York was so freezing we get to Miami it was so warm it was so nice you're like there's a movie here let's do bad boy
00:44:38
and then the commercial was Amber Smith the ma she became like a Sports Illustrated model but she was like she's
00:44:43
a gorgeous oh she wasn't 15. forget it uh so wait so that's but so they saw you
00:44:49
two were funny together and then Bruckheimer said maybe well they offered off or did the movie first and then I don't know I then they then then I got
00:44:55
in I don't then yeah I don't remember it was it was John Dom's Don Simpson and um
00:45:01
Jerry Bruckheimer just wanted to develop something with us and uh that's it it
00:45:06
was developed and I was just too busy I didn't really you know there was so much
00:45:12
stuff coming at me at that time but uh I'm glad that uh Will Smith and Martin Lawrence did it and had a great hit with
00:45:17
it five sequels
00:45:23
and made Will Smith the giant movie star but hey yeah that's true well he also
00:45:28
had Independence Day and others and he has a new book out now first one yes
00:45:34
they always quit plugging Will Smith Boys Will Smith and Martin Lawrence yeah John Levitz and Dana I don't know why
00:45:40
they turned it down oh God fellas let it do not let it go 35
00:45:47
years ago okay John I have a movie question for you you did A League of Their Own obviously a huge huge City
00:45:53
Slickers huge trapped in Paradise you guys did pretty well that's all right I want to get back oh about how in the new
00:46:00
SNL like Kate McKinnon I don't think he's been on the show this year and I think
00:46:05
you're allowed to come and go as you please now and you weren't allowed to do a movie I wasn't allowed to leave to do
00:46:10
a movie no I I want I was supposed to do a liar in my first year of the show and then
00:46:15
with Lauren and then it whatever it didn't happen everyone has a different story why but it didn't happen and it
00:46:22
was very disappointing so five years later I was gonna do um A League of Their Own and
00:46:30
um this movie Mom and Dad saved the world over the summer and then back on SNL
00:46:36
and I was like perfect because I'll be on the show with movies you know are you trying to build a career and it was a
00:46:41
double whammy amazing thing so anyway mom and dad say the Vic didn't shoot that summer and then Mom and Dad say the
00:46:47
world had to change their schedule and so they said they couldn't work around me so I wanted I would have had to miss
00:46:53
the first two shows and uh and Lauren said no you can't miss Joe's it's not fair to the others I go
00:46:59
the others they don't care they'd be thrilled if I'm not here they'll be like more air time for me you know yeah I
00:47:05
haven't even met everyone and I go well it wasn't you it was on the you know there's only eight of us and then Mike
00:47:11
came in this last year for four years basically and so anyway I had a decision
00:47:17
to make and then I said I'm gonna leave then and then Lauren called me was no no John I only leave your very important part of the show I go well Lauren I
00:47:24
don't want to leave I go I won't but this is opportunities now my contract's up start me in two weeks or start me or
00:47:31
or don't pay me to add them on to you know the end of the contractor I'll sign up for five more years I like that you
00:47:38
said you'd sign up for for another year or something yeah no they offered two more years and did
00:47:43
Dana and I you know they uh or oh no Dana had another year but they yeah they're by the it was the same pay I
00:47:49
think but uh but uh and and so it was good you know but you know in hindsight I should have said to them I should have
00:47:55
had the producer Michael Phillips call Lauren and go hey can you you know work it and Lauren goes well the in his he
00:48:01
goes look John Belushi and Echo they would fly back and forth and do movies and I said I'm happy to do that but they
00:48:08
they're saying no and I go since the other movie didn't happen can you like let me you know take this opportunity
00:48:16
it's coming around again you know and it's like I don't know he said no so I left and
00:48:22
and he was mad at me for years that I left and then the next year that was Mike Myers was doing writing Wayne's
00:48:28
World and Dana goes oh yeah he just missed like 10 shows like 10. did he miss 10 shows really and then and then
00:48:34
that year uh that I I left I would be in New York and now Frank would call me and go hey
00:48:40
you're in town can you be in a sketch I go okay so I would do it and then Dane of course would tease me I don't know
00:48:45
I'm crazy maybe I just like being in front of 20 million people like but I'm nuts like that and then and then and
00:48:51
then I'd be on the show what
00:48:58
let me Miss shows that have been here because Lauren said you can't miss him this year but you can miss him the next year I said but I have the movie now
00:49:05
maybe I don't know what's the difference but anyway I understood from his point of view like hey they're hiring you
00:49:12
because of this show yeah right so don't forget that and I I didn't think of that
00:49:19
to be honest and stupid well things have changed you know it was it was the 90s you weren't even supposed to really do
00:49:25
commercials that was considered a sellout and I'm glad to see SNL cast
00:49:30
members doing a lot of ads while they're on the show I'm I'm envious and I also think it's great no Dana we did the
00:49:36
Super Bowl commercial and then the next year they had we remember they hired pop uh Paul Newman for American Express he
00:49:43
came in third so then they hired us yeah the next year and we're and we're at the writer's room
00:49:50
and Jim Downey the head he's making fun of me like oh you did that commercial he goes what did they pay you like you know
00:49:55
a hundred thousand dollars and I just looked and I go try a house house and then that was kind of a really quiet
00:50:03
a classy one we were dead Brooke when we got the show you know what I mean so any amount of money seemed like I remembered
00:50:10
my first year in the show I saved my checks I went to the bank to deposit five thousand dollars and I got
00:50:17
nauseated because it felt like so much money because the most I ever had in my bank account
00:50:23
in my life was a thousand dollars once in high school and once when I I moved back home after college and saved my
00:50:29
money now five thousand seems like 4 600 to me
00:50:34
all right yellow Dana talk we just set the scene I'm funny David and Dana well
00:50:39
let's talk about yeah I mean we had stand up which is a baseline for your career in a way financially you know
00:50:46
you can always go out and do stand-up which is a great great thing to have but
00:50:52
the truth is you know I I I've said to Lauren a million times you know thank you for giving me the life I've always
00:50:57
dreamed of and I I can't believe I was on the show the whole time I was on Saturday Night Live I couldn't say
00:51:02
Saturday Night Live I go yeah I'm on Saturday night I couldn't say live I I just I never got over the fact that I
00:51:09
was there and on it but I loved it and just talking about it it's like I'm right back on in every little detail
00:51:15
pops them up in my head very intense experience I think we're all very thankful that uh everything really goes
00:51:21
back to that I mean if you look at the percentages of the uh I had a guy come
00:51:27
look at my house to like help me do it and he goes you have a lot of pictures of yourself
00:51:32
pictures of yourself and I go well most those are like old cool ones from SNL like I'm doing promos and I've got the
00:51:40
paper and I'm pointing at the camera and it's Phyllis Clinton with Mick Jagger yeah I mean they're not on the outside
00:51:46
of the house they're in my [ __ ] you know yeah but shingles you know it's like Lauren in the background Phil Mick
00:51:54
Jagger and Luke Perry was a host and I'm just it looks like I'm directing because I got handed promos which they didn't
00:52:00
realize was like a crummy job but you get to on Thursdays go with a host and go with the music and you get to go down
00:52:05
there and deal with them for promos I'm like Kurt Cobain oh your line is in green you know I get you get to talk to
00:52:11
them and interact and it's kind of fun and you have to write little dumb promos but those pictures are around and I I
00:52:18
don't really get sorry live anymore like people like oh I saw in a certain life but it's on peacock now and they have
00:52:23
reruns so it's a huge part of everything of course you get people saying to you I saw your peacock
00:52:29
John oh uh oh and time I just won five dollars to set the scene just to set the
00:52:36
scene do you guys remember Luke Perry I remember any pants Luke Perry stood out to me among 130 shows I did as
00:52:45
one of the nicest most approachable hosts I just remember really liking and
00:52:51
very famous at the time huge very very famous but he was in Once Upon a Time in
00:52:56
Hollywood and he passed away but I just remember him being just very approachable and really nice yeah I'm
00:53:02
not on the show but years later yeah a very nice guy really nice if oh you know what he did I just remember this I'd met
00:53:09
him maybe I met him on I wasn't on the show any host but I met him and I said um you know he's on was it Melrose Place
00:53:16
right no no Beverly Hills 90210 Beverly Hills 90210. he was like the biggest
00:53:21
teen thing so my niece was like 12 or 13. so I said hey uh
00:53:28
do you think I could bring my niece to the set to meet you he goes yeah yeah we'll set it up I go should be like so through and he did and he did and when
00:53:34
she got there she couldn't believe it and then they had sex because let's take a picture and he sat her on his lap you
00:53:41
know and then right when they took the picture he kissed her on the cheek and she like turned red you know and she came home and she got on the phone I
00:53:48
could hear her screaming to her girlfriend I can't I'm at Luke Marion no it was it was it was really great for he
00:53:54
he knew what it meant and he was a yeah it was sad that he passed away a very nice guy
00:54:01
[Music] but we're talking so much about me let's talk about you guys Dana and David what
00:54:08
was your the favorite character of mine that you liked I liked when you were in Benchwarmers I hear a lot about
00:54:14
Benchwarmers do you John yeah Benchwarmers is great benchwarmer
00:54:19
is just one of those movies that just made you feel good it was just kind of fun light vibe to it Dana what is it
00:54:25
about me that you admire the most uh and then David you can go
00:54:31
hmm I don't know if anything comes to mind I like when you sing opera
00:54:40
your uh your funniness your we have a puppet oh always okay is that Yoda so
00:54:48
love it you have a great singing voice I think when you're on the show singing really helps Danny can sing chopping
00:54:54
broccoli you can sing Dana right but John has a great singing voice
00:55:02
like a big voice that's another one of your your attributes but would you like
00:55:07
me to sing for you now yes I know it's gonna happen right now
00:55:22
blew out you blew out the zoom I mean oh my God the ratings just spiked up everybody loves somebody sometime what
00:55:30
was the uh Tales Christine Zander wrote it that was one
00:55:37
of those sketches that was uh what does it mean it was so well written you you kind of you had to raise your
00:55:44
yourself to the level of the sketch a lot of sketches weren't funny and and Lauren would yell at me goes it's your
00:55:51
job to make them funny I said well I can't make a rose smell like [ __ ] I had that line all prepared for him and he
00:55:57
goes no I go I can't I can't make [ __ ] smell like a rose he goes that's a great relationship with
00:56:04
your your boss to be funny so I said okay so fine so you're telling me because he because my first year on the
00:56:09
show I did this sketch and and Al Franken and Jim Downey who I love are giving right before the sketch you're
00:56:15
telling me to do two completely opposite things oh listen to down and I'm like
00:56:21
what do I do you know [ __ ] the writers I you're I hired you to be funny that's your job I
00:56:28
said okay so you're telling me if the writers tell me to do something a certain way and I think they're wrong and I don't think it's funny I don't
00:56:33
have to do it he goes right I go okay so so many times like I'll go do like this I'm like nope
00:56:40
jeez I'm not having Lauren yell at me again and uh and then I would do the sketch on air and then Al would run up
00:56:46
and hug me you know that was so great I go wow that's what I've been talking about all week can we just like
00:56:51
and and uh that would happen over and over and do it this way the tales of reality
00:56:57
they wrote it so well that I I had to really work that you had to like raise yourself to the level of it and then I
00:57:04
did something on air which I think I rarely did which I know Dana did all the time
00:57:10
Bush was you just go I'm gonna do it but I'm gonna like Riff on it and and add
00:57:15
little moments and it's like you're improvising on air so so when they would I knew they'd be cutting back to me and
00:57:21
in my head I'm like what am I going to do so one time they cut back and they're fighting in the to the two women are
00:57:27
fighting and I went wow you know let me ask you guys a question did you do this thing
00:57:33
when it's it's a commercial break and everyone's running around you're getting ready for a sketch uh or a cold opening
00:57:40
so the audience is seeing you in your makeup whatever you're wearing you're going on the stage I always try to get
00:57:46
them to understand that I was loose or try to Signal some kind something funny because
00:57:51
a lot of times when the cold opening starts you hear a laugh right before it starts and that's because it's like five
00:57:58
seconds Joe disco five seconds and then you if you signal to the audience that you're you're being playful it seems
00:58:05
like it gives you a leg up it definitely relaxes me a little bit if you get a laugh before it starts did you do that
00:58:10
or like they go uh five seconds then you go I'm not ready or you go places everyone then they laugh before they
00:58:16
come onto the broadcast that's it yeah yeah and then they laugh and they like you already and then they're ready to go I never I never did that because I'm
00:58:24
professional huh and how I don't need to get them laughing before them get starts
00:58:30
I know I'll be funny save it for the stage
00:58:37
we should explain what this is this John and I teasing each other for years where it was just it's a thing that I would do
00:58:44
for some reason Conan does it every time I talk to him
00:58:50
Robert Wagner when he hosted and we where we did that where we did that with
00:58:55
him the one of the funniest things in the show is uh an important part of this show is Dana and I as you know we would
00:59:01
always talk about in fact it was Danny go we got to talk but he goes we got to about you know how competitive it is and
00:59:08
we're friends but we're competing against each other and I go I know he goes well let's talk about it and get it in the open because you make it funny as
00:59:15
friends and they go you're right you know and I go well it's just the way it is you know so let's just be careful
00:59:20
that it doesn't you know harm our our friendship because we're friends but we're competing and that's just the way it is but anyway but it was funny so one
00:59:28
time one of the best hosts everyone was so excited was William Shatner I remember Dana yeah
00:59:34
Dennis Miller at read through he'd always be kind of you know grumpy you know because he
00:59:42
wasn't in a lot or whatever and he go why aren't any sketches I go this you got to hang out all night you're not
00:59:47
here like hang out participate on Tuesday night when we write it he'll get
00:59:52
in but anyway so you know he didn't have a lot to do it read it read through so
00:59:58
he would just you know he'd be a little grumpy so when Williams remember her house did I think around even Dennis
01:00:04
everybody had the biggest smile on their face and Dennis was beaming and we're
01:00:09
like I remember I'm sitting next to I on my left is William Shatner and Dana's on my right we're like it's Kirk
01:00:15
you know it's Star Trek we were just thrilled and yeah and I learned how to
01:00:21
do the show from him he made it he made it look so easy but also that show Dana
01:00:26
would come up to me John but I'm in Christ so didn't I play three characters
01:00:31
in The Star Trek restaurant scene I did con I played an Ensign I don't remember I don't know but you were going on
01:00:42
and William Shatner hosted the show he made it look so easy I go how do you do that he goes just do it
01:00:49
and so and one time oh the Star Trek sketch I go what are you doing here I'm trying to figure out how to play this
01:00:55
the the the scene the part I go but you're how to play the part you aren't
01:01:00
you Kirk you forget no he's an actor like but anyway the next week I thought all right well what do they because they
01:01:06
would get you all riled up and tense every week and did you do this did you do that constantly so I just said well
01:01:11
what do they ask me to do I walk in a door and then I I stop behind the couch and then I say something I go so walk
01:01:18
and talk I simplified it to that so I'd come in and walk in hey you guys want to get
01:01:23
something to eat right that was it so I did this show that way without putting my any stress on myself and I thought
01:01:30
for sure I wouldn't be funny and after the show I thought well I wasn't less funny and I wasn't more funny I was the
01:01:37
same and I remember thinking what have I been putting myself through every week and after that the show it became very
01:01:44
relaxed to do especially when I had like one line or two so I remember one time there's 10 of us in a line and Mike
01:01:51
Myers is in front of me and I'm he's all tense because they're getting him and I'm like you know as Lucy's pie I just
01:01:58
couldn't give a [ __ ] and I I tap hike on the shoulder he's like what I go Mike you're looking at me before I pay
01:02:04
attention to the scene it's like stop it just he's teasing him yeah everyone
01:02:10
we've talked about this is like it takes it takes time so you just watch oh hey you know
01:02:15
well I think you get confident the audience discovers you and then you you get playful and then they sense it and
01:02:21
it builds on itself you see it with cast members now it usually takes a few seasons unless your name is Eddie Murphy
01:02:27
or something you know had such confidence at 19 it's that's that's mysterious mysterious to me how
01:02:34
brilliant he was at 19 but most people would take two three four years of seasons to get really comfortable you
01:02:41
know anyway um also well I was nervous but my first sketch I was really nervous
01:02:48
why wouldn't you be watching and then I went oh wait oh the the West Coast isn't watching
01:02:55
so you were relaxed no now well I go that's 10 million less but now the whole country watches it at once but during
01:03:01
that show uh there was a sketch from Madonna and I were a Prince Charles and
01:03:06
the and Diana so you have cue cards right so anyway we're doing the sketch on air and and
01:03:12
she accidentally said my lines so all of a sudden I just I went oops
01:03:21
and all my experience kicked in from you know doing plays in high school in four
01:03:26
years so you took your pants off I was doing 21 plays in the Groundlings and I so I took her line and turned it around
01:03:31
and then to my line and and all of a sudden I went oh and then you know the focus wasn't on me it was on the sketch
01:03:37
David and the rest is history and the rest is history I remember doing toonces the cat where you're in the car
01:03:43
and the cat's the driver it was a Jack Handy sketch and Victoria and I are again Victoria but she was so funny to
01:03:49
me here we have giant cue cards and she's not saying her line so you have to kind of Kick the person I'm kind of like
01:03:55
kicking her on and no one can see oh oh anyway they're like oh am I up you're
01:04:01
like you have two lines get them but she was incredibly charming and funny yeah by the way I never told you this
01:04:08
Dana but I was the entunes is the cat I was there you were the cat you were
01:04:14
she's the makeup was extraordinary hard acting yeah you thought it was a puppet
01:04:20
all right boy gotta look at where the time's gone I just wanted to give you a chance to uh John became a stand-up uh
01:04:28
uh maybe 20 years ago now 18 years ago so John Lovitz plays all over the
01:04:34
country and uh he's out there with doing stand-up he's a great stand-up very funny obviously yes I I started where I
01:04:42
would open host shows by Uh Kevin Nealon and and uh and Victoria would do 20
01:04:48
minutes in the um Norm Macdonald then I could and then I would open for norm and then we could
01:04:53
and then co-headline and then I I started doing it but I would do that for you remember you David and you Dana and
01:05:00
Dennis Miller did a show Once I hosted that yeah and um yeah I love doing it but Dana yeah I wouldn't
01:05:07
Dennis Miller is the first one he goes you should be a stand-up I used to do Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce's routines
01:05:12
in my dorm and he brought me to catch a rising star in like 85 and I just bombed because I didn't know what I was doing
01:05:17
but Dana always said you could do a stand-up and Dana you you know I always credit you you saved me years
01:05:23
uh with your tips on how to be a stand-up so I I owe you a big part of that stand-up career I don't know David
01:05:30
well that's very nice I'm glad but I when I meet people
01:05:35
it's only a matter of well you Benchwarmers you guys should
01:05:40
have been starting varsity as far as homers is great I love Benchwarmers absolutely
01:05:46
number seven I like any movie where you talk like number seven quiet so funny quiet as
01:05:53
always but you guys are great stand-ups so it's it's an honor to be a part of that fraternity but it's it's it's been
01:06:00
a lot of a lifesaver I feel like it's I always wanted to do it I used to do Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce's routines
01:06:06
in my dorm yeah and right after college I went to a workshop at The Comedy Store
01:06:11
in 18 and 79 and they go they're not hiring stand-ups for sitcoms and I go oh so I guess I'll skip that step you know
01:06:19
but I still it's just it's it's portable and you can do it you can take go away from it for a while come back to it I
01:06:25
love it like Saturday Night Live riding and Performing my own material and
01:06:31
that's what I love best about SNL one of the and and the you guys were
01:06:36
people that come the comedians okay David has a question or a summation just to set the scene
01:06:43
this is David and Dana's podcast and David you're listening to John Lovitz David
01:06:49
Spade and I think my mic is barely on but I will say this uh Dana when I
01:06:55
started I don't know if this is with you maybe it's still stand-ups were looked down upon for acting and sitcoms and
01:07:02
everything because they were thought of as selfish and couldn't interact with others so on SNL like Groundlings and
01:07:09
all those people and sketch players Second City were priority because they had more faith they could do sketches
01:07:15
and with us you've seen Comics that get their own show or something just doesn't work and then you hear the low quiet
01:07:21
whisper they can act and that's brutal so I think when I started there like but Kenny and the first audition I had they
01:07:28
said I can't act and I couldn't I didn't know but I had to go to two years of uh
01:07:33
intensive training well as hell I have never heard you say that
01:07:39
oh really you did you studied acting with who why do you think I'm so great at it you
01:07:45
aren't great at it but Sandy Sandy Meisner I was like it was I went to Roy London's class but he was full I think
01:07:52
Brown is in there I maybe you were in there uh and then I I went to I went to
01:07:57
Ivana Chubbuck and she was late great Roy London teaching for Roy as his
01:08:02
understudy and then I and then she got huge in her own way because Roy passed away and then she was doing it but I
01:08:09
took it Schneider took it I had I had uh this is quickly then I gotta go you guys
01:08:15
I can't do this all day but I I I guess you're getting paid for Christ's sake
01:08:20
I'm not I thought we were splitting this you're getting a gift basket with fresh
01:08:25
fruit chocolates and white wine I don't have time for this I'm doing it for free you know you tip the bottle
01:08:32
anyway David sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you I think you did but uh I I
01:08:39
did um I did I came out and I thought I was like Eddie Murphy because you feel like you don't need lessons I go I
01:08:45
thought it was naturally funny and so I do auditions and then Lee Grant you
01:08:51
wouldn't know this but she's a famous actress she was a she's a director and she was doing a movie and she needed a
01:08:57
kid to play 17 and she goes you're 20. and she saw me at the interrupt she goes you could play this in two seconds it's
01:09:03
the lead in a movie and and I'm just gonna give it to you just come to the house read a few lines and and I'll go
01:09:08
in there with you and we'll and we got our movie and I was so excited and I read this I read the scene with her
01:09:15
and I could see in her eyes she goes do it again just hang on just do it again I do it again and she goes uh I can't use
01:09:21
you I was like oh my God why is just you're kind of just performing it you're not really acting you're just trying to
01:09:27
get laughs and I'm like I know but and she's like I can't she goes go take some classes
01:09:32
because you'll be great but you just gotta work and I go but I'm still doing the movie right she's like no I can't it
01:09:39
was such a heartbreak but here's the thing she should have said when she said I can't use you like why because she was
01:09:45
okay you know the way you're talking to me right now you go yeah you just read it like that
01:09:51
don't perform read it like you just talk to me right now that's what she should have said and then you would have read it like that
01:09:56
she was okay I know she didn't want to take time so anyway that took two seconds doing
01:10:02
stand-up is your you know I remember uh someone said that they said Jerry Seinfeld said it's a dialogue
01:10:08
it's not a monologue like people are wearing it like a monologue like an actor in the beginning and I thought yeah is that what you do and he's like
01:10:14
no and they said no he said it's a dialogue between you and the audience and I thought how could it be a dialogue
01:10:20
I'm the only one talking and then I realized oh because it's like I'm talking to you guys now and you're listening going uh-huh it's
01:10:27
that so I go instead of you're talking on if you're talking to one guy and whatever you react it's not that
01:10:33
complicated people do it all the time it's just back anyway John you've been a pleasure I think David you're a very good actor especially in the wrong Missy
01:10:41
oh yeah were you even wrong with you now not supposed to be but you cast someone else oh uh you're supposed to be in just
01:10:48
shoot me remember yeah another thing bad boys just shoot me
01:10:53
we all should have done stuff oh yeah home alone too [ __ ] well maybe they wanted to meet with me really bad and I
01:11:00
go it's the kids movie I don't want to be second fiddle to some kid then it begins the biggest comedy in the history
01:11:06
and Motion Pictures so then I said I'll meet on the second one and they go now the director Chris Columbus says no you
01:11:11
wouldn't meet on the first one so he won't meet you now I go did I heard his movie well been fairness a movie about a
01:11:18
10 year old you just don't know if it's gonna be funny you just don't know the script was funny but I I didn't think I could play the part because it was very
01:11:25
reactive of a doofus I'm not good at like and that was Daniel Stern and Joe
01:11:30
Pesci or they were the second Daniel I'm not good at like making faces I have faith you could play it too big I don't
01:11:36
I don't know what to do I mean I just did it now but well it's a cartoon basically kind of well there he is all
01:11:44
right bye
01:11:49
[Music] flying the wall has been a presentation
01:11:55
of cadence 13. please listen then rate review and follow all episodes executive
01:12:01
produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Chris Corcoran of cadence 13 and Charlie finan of brillstein entertainment
01:12:07
production and Engineering led by Greg Holtzman Richard cook Serena Regan and
01:12:13
Chris Basil of cadence 13.
