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Minimalism: How Much is Enough? | Rose Lounsbury - E68

January 29, 2024 / 48:16

This episode features Rose Lounsbury, a keynote speaker and simplicity coach, discussing the concept of bodal spending and how to simplify life.

Jesse Kramer introduces the idea of bodal spending, which encourages individuals to either fully invest in their passions or eliminate them from their lives. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on what truly brings joy and fulfillment.

Rose shares insights from her TEDx talk about minimalism, starting with the simple question of how many towels one needs. She explains that this question helps individuals evaluate their possessions from a perspective of need versus want.

The conversation also touches on the emotional aspects of gift-giving, suggesting that asking for what you want can lead to more meaningful exchanges. Rose highlights the importance of experiences over material gifts.

Finally, they discuss mental clutter and how physical decluttering can lead to clearer mental spaces, allowing for deeper self-reflection and growth.

TL;DR

Rose Lounsbury discusses bodal spending, minimalism, and the importance of experiences over material possessions.

Video

00:00:01
welcome to the best interest podcast
00:00:04
where we believe Benjamin Franklin's
00:00:06
advice that an investment in knowledge
00:00:08
pays the best interest both in finances
00:00:11
and in your life every episode teaches
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you personal finance and investing in
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simple terms now here's your host Jesse
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Kramer hello and welcome to episode 68
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of the best interest podcast my name is
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Jesse Kramer today we're going to have
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Rose very on the show Rose is a keynote
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speaker an Amazon bestselling author a
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Simplicity coach and a stillsane mom of
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triplets we'll give Rose a bit of a
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longer introduction later before we get
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to the meat of the episode let's do our
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review of the week this one comes in
00:00:46
from Curtis wh who left a review on
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Apple podcasts Curtis wrote great pod
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with good interviews I enjoy hearing the
00:00:55
interviews and different perspectives
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definitely should give it a listen
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Curtis thanks for the kind words if
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you're hearing this Curtis shoot me an
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email Jesse bestin interest. blog and
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I'll get you hooked up with some cool
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best interest swag before we get to Rose
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today I wanted to share a few thoughts
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on the stuff we fill our lives with the
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stuff we choose to spend money on that
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kind of topic and I thought we could
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start with something called bodal
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spending it's an idea I had a few years
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ago I started to adopt it in my own life
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and maybe I can convince you to adopt it
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in your life too now first things first
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first let's define bodal out there in
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the real world it's common to see normal
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distributions uh normal distribution
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occurs when data clumps around the
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average and then a few data points are
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dispersed out at the extremes you've
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seen normal distributions before some
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people call them bell curves when we
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talk about things like standard
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deviation that usually applies to normal
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distributions many of us are also
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familiar with uniform distributions a
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uniform distribution where data is
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spread even ly among a range you know if
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we asked a group of 100 people to pick
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their favorite number between 1 and 10
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we'd expect a relatively uniform
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distribution with picks pretty much 10
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people are going to pick every number on
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average now a bodal distribution as the
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name implies as you might have heard in
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the name itself it has two modes by
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modal it has two distinct Peaks which
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often occur at opposite ends of a range
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so a b distribution if you were to graph
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it out it looks like almost like two
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mountain peaks with a valley in between
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so okay let's get back to this concept
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called bodal spending my creative
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conception is that we should apply a
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bodal distribution to our spending
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Habits by modal spending it asks you to
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say either hell yes or no to Major
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expenses you either go Whole Hog or you
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go not at all there's no middle ground
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now keep in mind the significance of
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saying hell yes it fades away if you say
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it too much you you can't say hell yes
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to everything so you need to think of
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the things you enjoy if you're like me
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that list is pretty long food travel
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hiking sports music reading blogging
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spending time with friends and family
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fostering dogs there are a lot of things
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that I like you're probably the same if
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I'm not careful and I graft out my
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passions in in some sort of XY plot
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everything would seem like it's
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passionate I would I would have so many
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hobbies so many passions so many things
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I could or would spend my time and money
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on I could spend thousands of dollars on
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each of those Pursuits that I listed
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before I could buy lots of stuff I could
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go on lots of Adventures but is all of
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that stuff worth it that's the question
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to ask now I say no it's not all worth
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it only some things are worth it we know
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for example that luxurious spending it
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brings less fulfillment as we spend more
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that's called the Fulfillment curve why
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well one of the limiting factors is time
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we don't have the time to devote lots of
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hours to all of our various Pursuits and
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passions we need to pick and choose if I
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were to try everything I would spread
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myself too thin and being spread thin
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isn't enjoyable it's not optimal so
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that's why I'm reimagining my passion
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graph so to speak to look like a bodal
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distribution on the one hand I have the
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true and few passions that I absolutely
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love
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and on the other end I have all of those
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passions that I'm just saying even
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though they're cool they don't quite
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meet my bar and therefore I'm not going
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to devote any time to them at all if
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something is hell yes I'll devote the
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time and money to it but if it's only
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kind of fun or an occasional Pastime
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then I want to prune it I want to get
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rid of it from my budget and from my
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schedule I want to focus my fund money
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on the hell yes passions I want to Route
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all that was not life or eliminate that
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which doesn't lighten my fire if you're
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a Henry David throw fan we can play that
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quote from that poem right now I'll Now
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read the traditional opening message by
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Society member Henry David
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thurough I went to the woods because I
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wanted to live deliberately I wanted to
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live deep and suck out all the marrow of
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Life I'll second that to put to Route
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all that was not life and not when I had
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come to die discover that I had not
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lived so how does that translate into a
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bodal spending distribution you ask I
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want my dollars to go towards either one
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basic life needs or two hell yes passion
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activities if you were to graph it out
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and I can include in the show notes the
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article where I show this graph you
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would see a a peak of spending when it
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comes to simple survival the necessities
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of life the food the housing utilities
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you would see a pretty deep valley of
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spending or lack of spending on things
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that are kind of fun or somewhat
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interesting or nice to have and then you
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see a second big spike in spending when
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it comes to to my biggest passions
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either the bare necessities or the true
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marrow of life that's what I'm going to
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spend time and money on but not much in
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between anything in the middle of the
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graft will bring me very few units of
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fulfillment per dollar spent I want the
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dollars I spend to do good sometimes
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that's through charity giving to others
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contributing to group activities but if
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I am spending on myself I want to
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squeeze out as much fulfillment as I can
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there's a gentle reminder you might have
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heard this quote before
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look at all the stuff around you that
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stuff used to be money and that money
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used to be time I don't want to spend
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money or my time on average stuff I'll
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pay for the necessities and then after
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that I want my spending to make me say
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hell yes bodal spending is a rehash of
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the predo principle also known as the
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8020 rule Focus 80% of your fund
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spending on your favorite 20% of
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activities or you can push that ratio
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even further spend 95% % of your fun
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money on your top 5% of activities the
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other 95% of your fun activities spend
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as little there as you can they aren't
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hell yes activities they're milk toast
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at best they'll only pull resources away
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from the activities you truly enjoy
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whatever the ratio you choose you know
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80 20 90 10 it's amusing that Pito rears
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his Mel head yet again and some of you
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might recognize that botal spending is
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reminiscent of RIT seti's rich life idea
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to quote RIT living a rich life means
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having the ability to spend my time and
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money on the areas that are important to
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me now how does remit suggest you pursue
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your rich life simple he tells you to
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spend extravagantly on the things you
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love and cut costs mercilessly on the
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things you don't that is botal spending
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categorize your Pursuits as things you
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love or as things you don't or you can
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create a bimodal passion graph spend
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extravagantly on the right side of your
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passion graph and cut mercilessly on the
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left side of your graph ramit seti is a
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bodal spender now for a quick anecdote
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friend of the best interest Martin he
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and I have talked about this before he
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loves travel he loves fine dining those
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things are his passions and that's why
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it made sense for him to spend two weeks
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in Lima Peru and plan a meal at Central
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considered to be one of the best
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restaurants in the world it's a Once in
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a Lifetime experience the memories of
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that trip still bringing him Joy today
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now that is a hell yes hell yes spending
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lies elsewhere I'll buy say a $200 pair
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of hiking boots or a top-of-the-line
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laptop to support the best interest but
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I might not go to Lima Peru I might not
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eat at Central I might not buy new golf
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clubs even though I do like golf but
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another friend of the blog Mark I know
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he absolutely loves golf he plays as
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much as he can he's traveled to Ireland
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to play historic courses he plays in the
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rain and the snow because you've got to
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make the golf season count here in
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Rochester New York so new club clubs and
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a Course membership they help Mark live
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his RIT seti Rich Life Golf is a hell
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yes for Mark Different Strokes for
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different folks we each get to create
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our own passion graph and plan our bodal
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spending accordingly even down in the
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bare necessities categories like food
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and housing I found that bimodal
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spending helps me feel more fulfilled
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cars for example I don't love cars I
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don't want or need an expensive car I
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want to spend as little on cars as I'm
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able to I plan to drive my Toyota into
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the ground and then continue to pay for
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a car that's more function over form so
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for groceries I love cooking and baking
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for people I want to spend extra money
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to make sure my pizza has the highest
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quality cheese I want to spend money on
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imported vanilla extract for my cookies
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but for the average meal on the average
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day I'm relatively Spartan all I need
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for breakfast were a few eggs and an
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English muffin 95% of my meals are
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simple 5% are extravagant and nice so
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that's mostly no with a little bit of
00:10:01
hell yes at the time I put botal
00:10:04
spending as an idea down on paper my
00:10:06
laptop was a 5-year-old HP and the
00:10:09
cooling fan it sounded a little bit like
00:10:11
a weed eater it sounded like a
00:10:13
disgusting metallic engine it was not a
00:10:16
good sounding laptop it was probably a
00:10:18
$250 model way past its prime but the
00:10:21
best interest in working on this project
00:10:23
was one of my big passions so to support
00:10:26
the blog and the podcast I was saving up
00:10:29
for a new Macbook and that's the MacBook
00:10:31
that I'm recording this episode into
00:10:33
right now I waited and waited and waited
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and on buying that new laptop because I
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I didn't quite have a hell yes reason to
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spend that much money but the best
00:10:42
interest made me realize I do have that
00:10:44
reason so I budgeted for a few months to
00:10:46
save up money for that laptop and then
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once I had the money saved I pulled the
00:10:50
trigger and the last one dining out my
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wife at the time I wrote this article
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she was just my girlfriend she loves
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dining out and I certainly enjoy it too
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it's a great way that we spend time
00:10:59
together we started saving our dining
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out dollars for hell yes dining
00:11:05
experiences so we forgo a few average
00:11:08
dining out experiences and we save those
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dollars for a more unique and memorable
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experience I've had my lifetime share of
00:11:16
$8 hamburgers they're fine but I'd
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rather save my dollars to widen my
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pallets Horizons if you will it's
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quality over quantity it's that kind of
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decision but speaking of hamburgers
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let's switch top to something called the
00:11:30
McDonald's test the McDonald's test is a
00:11:32
simple way to ask yourself am I really
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enjoying the fruits of my labor while
00:11:37
chatting with a client last year we
00:11:38
covered a vital financial planning topic
00:11:41
spending his retirement savings it's
00:11:44
challenging for many retirees to switch
00:11:46
from a saving mindset to a spending
00:11:48
mindset this client quite plainly hadn't
00:11:51
started spending at all so off the cuff
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I asked him humor me what's your
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favorite meal and he answered it's got
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to be hamburger and fries guys so I
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replied well what's the best burger
00:12:01
you've had recently what's your go-to
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hamburger spot here in Rochester and he
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said honestly I'm pretty easy McDonald's
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is just fine for me and at that response
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I paused and I thought to myself well
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perhaps it's a frugality decision
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frugality certainly a tenant of the best
00:12:17
interest I'm never going to begrudge
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somebody for including finances in their
00:12:21
decision-making or maybe he chose
00:12:22
McDonald's maybe it was a flavor
00:12:23
decision I'll admit a picture of a Big
00:12:26
Mac and Fries makes me hungry but the
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burger spectrum is pretty vast and I'm
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sure that McDonald's has Rivals and
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wouldn't he want to explore what's out
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there or maybe for this client
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McDonald's was just a Simplicity
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decision in the same way that Steve Jobs
00:12:40
wore the same outfit every day to reduce
00:12:43
decision fatigue maybe my client decided
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on McDonald's and that's that he doesn't
00:12:47
have to make any more Burger decisions
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in his life trying to be respectful I
00:12:51
asked him if he tried other burger
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places in Rochester and he said eh not
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really now I knew already that he liked
00:12:58
driving his old school car so I replied
00:13:00
to him I said you know Mr client if you
00:13:03
wanted to you could do something like
00:13:05
plan one trip per week to the most
00:13:07
renowned burger joints in Upstate New
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York you could drive New Roads try new
00:13:11
fries take notes along the way now
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that's just one example of something you
00:13:15
could do my bigger point is you've saved
00:13:17
money your whole life and now you get to
00:13:19
spend it and the way I see it you might
00:13:22
as well spend on your favorite things I
00:13:24
want to make sure that you know as a
00:13:26
client what I know as your financial
00:13:27
planner you you can eat all the
00:13:29
McDonald's you want but you could also
00:13:32
afford any Burger and Fries you want
00:13:34
that question it turned out was the
00:13:36
creation of the McDonald's test since
00:13:38
that meeting about once per quarter
00:13:40
calendar quarter I get an email like
00:13:43
this we took Roots 5 and 20 from Lia to
00:13:46
skinny Atlas and then we went North into
00:13:47
Syracuse Final Destination ale and Angus
00:13:51
Fantastic Burger I can see how they've
00:13:52
gotten all those accolades 10 out of 10
00:13:55
you and Kelly should definitely go it
00:13:57
was a rainy weekend but still nice to
00:13:58
drive through some of those old cities I
00:14:00
hadn't been to in years waterl Auburn
00:14:02
Etc so listeners if you're big Savers
00:14:05
that's great but eventually you should
00:14:08
run the McDonald's test on your life ask
00:14:11
yourself are you at least spending money
00:14:12
on the stuff that brings you Joy are you
00:14:14
remembering both sides of botal spending
00:14:18
if you just want McDonald's all the time
00:14:19
fantastic don't let me turn you off but
00:14:21
if you want to take that road trip to
00:14:24
alen Angus and you can afford to take
00:14:26
that day trip to alen Angus for that 10
00:14:28
of 10 Burger why aren't you doing it are
00:14:31
you just big macking through the rest of
00:14:33
your life or are you enjoying the fruits
00:14:36
and the meats and the potatoes of your
00:14:37
labor that's the McDonald's test here's
00:14:41
a quick ad and then we'll get back to
00:14:42
the show did you know my written Blog
00:14:45
the best interest was nominated for 2022
00:14:48
personal finance blog of the year and
00:14:50
it's been highlighted in the Wall Street
00:14:51
Journal yahooo finance and on CNBC I
00:14:54
love writing especially when that
00:14:56
writing is to share financial education
00:14:58
and I usually write one or two articles
00:15:00
per week you can read them all at
00:15:03
bestter interest. blog again the web
00:15:06
address is bestter interest. blog check
00:15:09
it out so with that let's bring on Rose
00:15:12
Lounsbury onto the podcast Rose is a
00:15:15
keynote speaker an Amazon best-selling
00:15:17
author Simplicity coach and the
00:15:19
stillsane mom of triplets Rose helps
00:15:22
overwhelmed people create Open Spaces in
00:15:24
their homes in their workspaces and more
00:15:27
importantly in their minds
00:15:29
by letting go of the excess stuffff that
00:15:31
gets in the
00:15:32
[Music]
00:15:41
way Rose thanks for joining us today and
00:15:44
I thought we could start today's
00:15:46
conversation with towels all right H how
00:15:50
many towels do you own why am I even
00:15:53
asking that question in the first place
00:15:54
because I know our listeners are going
00:15:56
to be a little confused and then what
00:15:58
are some of the big lessons that our
00:15:59
listeners can take away from such an
00:16:01
innocuous question yeah so I'm gonna
00:16:04
guess the reason you're asking that
00:16:05
question is because I did a tedex talk
00:16:07
called how many towels do you need and
00:16:11
Unown to me that's a question people are
00:16:12
very curious about because it is the
00:16:14
only thing I've ever done that's gone
00:16:15
even somewhat semi viral of sorts I have
00:16:18
almost 600,000 views on it which is
00:16:20
crazy to me but it's interesting because
00:16:22
towels are something that everybody has
00:16:25
and to answer your question the first
00:16:27
question I have two tow per person in my
00:16:29
house and we are a family of five so
00:16:31
there's 10 bath towels in our house for
00:16:34
the humans in the house my dog actually
00:16:36
has more than two towels because he ends
00:16:38
up with all the old towels and so when
00:16:40
we just forget to throw them away so so
00:16:41
Rudy gets more than two I guess why does
00:16:43
it matter well it matters because when I
00:16:46
started my minimalism and simplicity
00:16:47
journey I started with my towels and in
00:16:51
retrospect the reason that I started by
00:16:53
looking at my towels and asking
00:16:54
questions about them was because it was
00:16:56
a really easy place to start and so
00:16:58
anybody body listening who might want to
00:17:00
simplify or declutter their life just
00:17:01
know you probably have towels and that
00:17:04
might be a great place to start because
00:17:05
it's not emotional we don't have
00:17:08
memories usually closely wrapped up with
00:17:10
towels like we might have with pictures
00:17:12
and letters and cards and that sorts of
00:17:14
stuff or gifts that people have given us
00:17:16
so towels are an easy place to begin and
00:17:18
I started there and the question that I
00:17:20
asked myself was how many towels do we
00:17:23
need and the reason that that question
00:17:25
was really impactful was because I think
00:17:27
a lot of times when we're looking at
00:17:29
stuff especially Americans which I'm
00:17:32
guessing most of your listeners are
00:17:33
Americans probably with all their needs
00:17:35
met many of them most of us don't look
00:17:38
at anything we consume really from the
00:17:40
perspective of need because most of us
00:17:42
have what we need and more so a lot of
00:17:44
times we're looking from the perspective
00:17:46
of how much can I afford to buy or how
00:17:49
much can I fit in my space or even
00:17:51
another question I would ask a lot which
00:17:53
is how could I best organize this stuff
00:17:56
which is often a question of how could I
00:17:58
keep all my stuff in a way that looks
00:18:01
nice and I can find it but none of those
00:18:03
questions really address how much we
00:18:06
need need is a very different question
00:18:08
and so when I asked myself how many
00:18:09
towels do I need it was really clear to
00:18:12
me that the answer really was just two
00:18:14
per person because we're the kind of
00:18:16
family where we have one towel at a time
00:18:19
I'll use the same towel for a week and I
00:18:21
know everybody's some people might just
00:18:22
be a guas at that you know some people
00:18:24
are you cannot use the same towel twice
00:18:26
and if you're that kind of person too is
00:18:27
not going to be enough for you right so
00:18:29
it's important to recognize that just
00:18:31
because I say that's the amount we need
00:18:32
as a family that's not going to be the
00:18:34
answer for every single person out there
00:18:36
and that is okay the amount that someone
00:18:38
else might need is going to be different
00:18:40
than the amount that I need so it's an
00:18:41
important question because it has you
00:18:43
begin looking at the things you own from
00:18:46
a very different perspective than the
00:18:48
perspective that most consumer culture
00:18:51
has us look at things which is how much
00:18:52
can we consume how much can we afford
00:18:55
what's in style now what do we need to
00:18:57
get rid of that no longer in style well
00:19:00
why don't you just buy a bigger house so
00:19:01
then you can have more bigger and better
00:19:04
so it's a very different perspective and
00:19:06
what's great about it you can look at
00:19:08
your towels this way how many do you
00:19:09
need and then you can look at everything
00:19:11
else that same way how many pairs of
00:19:13
shoes do you need how many spatulas do
00:19:15
you need how many hammers do you need
00:19:18
you know you can go through really all
00:19:20
the things that you own and you can ask
00:19:22
yourself how much do I really need and I
00:19:23
want to be clear that I'm not advocating
00:19:26
for a just utilitarian Bare Bones
00:19:30
aesthetic lifestyle I'm not recommending
00:19:32
anyone become a monk and own nothing and
00:19:34
renounce all their possessions but I
00:19:37
think that we all could do better by
00:19:40
looking at our things from the
00:19:41
perspective of need versus want or
00:19:44
ability to consume and what I found
00:19:47
personally in my life the whole reason
00:19:48
that I ended up doing this and continued
00:19:50
to do it was that when I looked from
00:19:52
that perspective it was very freeing
00:19:55
because when you know how much you need
00:19:56
and you know that you have what you need
00:19:59
it really alleviates all that excess
00:20:01
noise that you might not even realize
00:20:03
you have that's telling you you need
00:20:04
this to be successful you need this to
00:20:06
be beautiful you need this to be
00:20:07
professional you need this to show your
00:20:09
status these voices that we're not
00:20:11
always even aware are there when they're
00:20:13
silent you have this open space to think
00:20:16
about much bigger ideas for your life so
00:20:20
that's the deeper philosophical answer
00:20:22
to the towel question and a funny story
00:20:25
that I will add to this so my my husband
00:20:27
is charge of washing the towels we have
00:20:29
a laundry schedule I'm very organized so
00:20:31
he's he's in charge of washing the
00:20:33
towels he's supposed to do it on
00:20:34
Saturdays but he doesn't always do that
00:20:36
and so he had let it go for like a few
00:20:37
weeks and I just don't say anything
00:20:39
because I'm like he'll do it when he
00:20:40
wants to do it well by the time he did
00:20:42
it we were pretty much out of towels
00:20:43
because by that time people had replace
00:20:44
the towels there's only 10 and there's
00:20:46
five of us have have 14-year-old
00:20:47
triplets and he comes out of the shower
00:20:50
so he's put all the towels in the in the
00:20:52
washer but they're not gone to the dryer
00:20:53
yet he comes out of the shower and he's
00:20:55
in his bathroom and he's dripping wet
00:20:56
he's like we don't have any towels I
00:20:58
would have to go down and get one of
00:20:59
Rudy's towels so he goes down and dries
00:21:01
himself with the dog towel because that
00:21:03
was all that he could use so how many
00:21:05
towels do you need also might depend on
00:21:07
how often you do the laundry at your
00:21:09
house and who's in charge of doing the
00:21:11
laundry so just a little warning or
00:21:12
kevat for people there extra towels they
00:21:15
might be a want they might be a need but
00:21:17
when they're all in the wash and you
00:21:19
come out of the shower wet it's
00:21:21
definitely a need at that point I would
00:21:23
say yeah if you don't want to dry
00:21:24
yourself with your dog towel make sure
00:21:26
you've got enough well one thing Rose
00:21:29
you're talking about the towels and and
00:21:30
you talked about how towels are this
00:21:32
thing that they're a very useful item
00:21:34
there's really not much Beauty to a
00:21:37
towel but maybe when evaluating other
00:21:39
things in our life maybe they're not
00:21:41
particularly useful but they are
00:21:43
beautiful or meaningful in some way and
00:21:45
I've heard you before kind of rate items
00:21:48
along those two different spectrums or
00:21:50
Spectra is it useful is it beautiful can
00:21:54
you dive into those two specific words a
00:21:56
little bit more yeah I got that criteria
00:21:59
from William Morris who was a 19th
00:22:02
Century interior designer so once people
00:22:05
had kind of gotten their basic needs met
00:22:08
they started thinking about how could I
00:22:09
make my home more beautiful and interior
00:22:11
design became an industry it wasn't
00:22:12
always an industry so this is the 1800s
00:22:15
and he says this quote that I think
00:22:18
Rings just as true today as it did then
00:22:20
which is have nothing in your house that
00:22:22
you do not know to be useful or believe
00:22:25
to be beautiful and so the reason that I
00:22:28
use those two criteria useful and
00:22:29
beautiful really comes from that quote
00:22:31
that was said well over a hundred years
00:22:33
ago and so what I think is really key
00:22:35
about it is he he worded it as such that
00:22:37
you know to be useful and I think it's
00:22:40
really important that we only know
00:22:42
something is useful if we are using it
00:22:45
because a lot of times we're keeping
00:22:46
things because we think oh it could
00:22:48
potentially be useful someday I'm going
00:22:50
to use the panini maker someday I'm
00:22:52
going to use the waffle maker someday
00:22:54
I'm going to need all those extra towels
00:22:55
that I bought on sale at koh's I'm not
00:22:57
using them now but someday I might they
00:22:59
could be useful it's really about
00:23:01
knowing something to be useful because
00:23:03
you actually use it and then the second
00:23:06
question is or you believe it to be
00:23:09
beautiful and that's kind of going back
00:23:10
to what I said earlier about we're not
00:23:12
really talking about just having the
00:23:14
barebones necessary for survival we're
00:23:17
talking about having space in our lives
00:23:19
for the things that bring us joy the
00:23:21
things that we look at and it makes us
00:23:22
feel good so in my house I have plenty
00:23:25
of things that are not useful I have
00:23:27
paintings that my mom has done I have
00:23:29
pictures of my family I have cards that
00:23:32
my kids have given to me when they were
00:23:34
little they said I love you mama is any
00:23:36
of this useful no not necessarily not by
00:23:39
the strict definition of useful but it
00:23:41
brings me great joy to behold these
00:23:43
items or to hold them or to look at them
00:23:45
or to read them and I want to have space
00:23:47
in my life for those things and what
00:23:50
happens sometimes I think is people
00:23:52
think well Everything is Beautiful
00:23:54
Everything is special and what happens
00:23:56
is when we think every single thing is
00:23:58
special is that nothing is special it's
00:24:00
kind of that if everything's a 10
00:24:01
nothing's a 10 right and so when we're
00:24:04
simplifying Our Lives specifically our
00:24:06
possessions we really want to think
00:24:07
about what are the things that are truly
00:24:10
beautiful and what are the things that
00:24:11
are kind of just detracting from the
00:24:13
beauty because all the extra stuff that
00:24:16
you have actually decreases the value of
00:24:18
the most important things that you have
00:24:21
so it's really more about curating like
00:24:23
a museum curates and they put out their
00:24:26
very best things not NE necessarily
00:24:28
every single painting that any artist
00:24:30
has ever done even a single artist not
00:24:32
every painting that artist has ever ever
00:24:34
done what are the most beautiful or the
00:24:35
best ones those are the ones that we're
00:24:37
going to display and so you can kind of
00:24:38
think about your home that way you've
00:24:40
got to have the useful things because
00:24:42
you know them to be useful but make
00:24:44
space for the beautiful things that
00:24:46
bring you great joy when you look at
00:24:48
them so that's really how I apply useful
00:24:51
and beautiful and I'd encourage your
00:24:53
listeners if they're interested in doing
00:24:54
this to start thinking about that when
00:24:56
they look at things too I like that
00:24:58
museum example it made me think there's
00:24:59
a local Museum or at least a art studio
00:25:03
Warehouse here in Rochester that on the
00:25:06
one hand it's it is very neat I think
00:25:08
it's very neat I've been there a couple
00:25:10
times but it's a little overwhelming
00:25:12
when I go there I look around and a lot
00:25:14
of it at least to me is is junk it's not
00:25:17
so much art as it it's junk and there's
00:25:19
just so much of it that it kind of all
00:25:22
Blends together and it does I think
00:25:24
detract from the experience and the
00:25:27
ability to contrast the true beauty from
00:25:31
everything else that doesn't quite make
00:25:32
it having that ability to contrast
00:25:34
having that judgment is important and it
00:25:36
it does lead back to a personal finance
00:25:38
topic when we think about spending money
00:25:40
on things that are truly beautiful
00:25:42
versus spending money on things that are
00:25:44
just medium or or mediocre and I I think
00:25:47
Rose one of my repeating issues we
00:25:49
haven't quite touched on on gifting yet
00:25:51
but when I think about spending money on
00:25:53
stuff I know you've talked about gifting
00:25:55
before I have amazing friends loving
00:25:57
family and and once in a while I've
00:26:00
received gifts that no offense to my
00:26:02
friends and family I have not needed one
00:26:04
little bit so I'm curious how do you
00:26:06
think I should handle these situations
00:26:08
and maybe at the same time is there a
00:26:11
way to be a better Gift Giver well I
00:26:14
think one thing we can all know is that
00:26:16
those wonderful friends and family who
00:26:17
have given us gifts we didn't want we
00:26:19
have given them the exact same thing we
00:26:22
have given them stuff that they didn't
00:26:23
want this is the nature of gift giving
00:26:25
we are not mind readers we we're not
00:26:27
fortune tellers so we're going to give
00:26:29
people gifts that they don't necessarily
00:26:32
need or want and it with all our best
00:26:34
intentions we're just not always going
00:26:35
to hit it out of the park with gifts and
00:26:36
that's just the way it goes so when it
00:26:38
comes to gifts in general I have a
00:26:40
couple rules that I tend to follow and
00:26:43
the first one is to ask for what you
00:26:45
want so in the event that it's a a
00:26:48
birthday or a holiday where gifts will
00:26:50
be exchanged and somebody asks you what
00:26:52
could I get you for the holidays or what
00:26:54
I want to get you something for your
00:26:55
anniversary or for your birthday what
00:26:57
would be something that I could get for
00:26:58
you or for your child if you have
00:26:59
children when you have children you
00:27:01
actually ask that quite a lot more than
00:27:03
as an adult so what can I get for your
00:27:05
kids so if someone asks you that
00:27:08
question tell them what you want I would
00:27:10
really like a gift certificate to this
00:27:13
local organic grocery store or I would
00:27:16
like a museum pass you know we're
00:27:18
talking about museums I'd like a pass to
00:27:19
go to the museum or maybe you want a
00:27:21
donation to a charity really what do you
00:27:23
want or maybe you just want to spend
00:27:25
time with this person and you say I
00:27:26
really want a us right now to put
00:27:29
something on the calendar a day that
00:27:30
we're going to go out to lunch together
00:27:32
and I want to go out to lunch with you
00:27:33
and spend time with you and that's what
00:27:34
I want more than anything or maybe I
00:27:37
want onesie pajamas that look like a
00:27:39
leopard if that's what you want that's
00:27:41
what you want right ask for what you
00:27:43
want be really clear about it and then
00:27:45
realize whoever asked you this and you
00:27:48
told them they're probably an adult and
00:27:50
they get to make their own decisions so
00:27:52
they may not listen to your list or they
00:27:55
might think I don't really want to buy
00:27:57
them that in which case that's fine
00:28:00
that's their decision and they're going
00:28:01
to give you what they want to give you
00:28:03
anyway so the second thing I always say
00:28:05
is say thank you for what you get so no
00:28:08
matter what that person gives you we're
00:28:11
both midwesterners or we live in the
00:28:13
midwest we understand please and thank
00:28:15
you say thank you for what you get even
00:28:17
if they gave you the leopard pajamas and
00:28:19
you asked for a donation to you know
00:28:22
save the animals they took that as I'm
00:28:24
Gonna Get You pajamas that make you look
00:28:25
like an animal they like this wasn't
00:28:27
quite what I meant you just say thank
00:28:29
you because they put thought into it
00:28:31
they spent time and money on it and
00:28:33
what's great about that is once you've
00:28:34
said thank you it's like two magic words
00:28:38
that now mean that's yours you own it
00:28:40
your obligation to the gift and The
00:28:42
Giver is done at the moment of thank you
00:28:46
it you own it so now it's up to you is
00:28:48
you can go back to the questions we
00:28:49
asked earlier is it useful or beautiful
00:28:52
are you going to wear those pajamas do
00:28:53
you love them do they bring you Joy if
00:28:56
so great keep them wear them love them
00:28:58
and rock it out if not then you can
00:29:01
decide okay what's the proper home for
00:29:03
these am I going to give them away on a
00:29:04
buy nothing page am I going to donate
00:29:06
them am I going to give them to my
00:29:08
friend who likes wild pajamas I don't
00:29:10
know you get to decide what happens to
00:29:12
them but the proper thing is to say
00:29:14
thank you to the person who sent you who
00:29:15
gave you the gift and then if you can
00:29:18
use it great if not let it go and so
00:29:20
that's kind of how I manage gift giving
00:29:22
and I realized a lot of that's a little
00:29:23
easier said than done because obviously
00:29:25
there are people's feelings in involved
00:29:28
but I generally think after practicing
00:29:30
this for a while and if you're open
00:29:32
about your values around stuff if you're
00:29:34
a person like me who maybe has a whole
00:29:36
blog and business about this or maybe
00:29:38
not maybe you just talk about how you're
00:29:40
pursuing a simpler lifestyle people
00:29:42
generally have an understanding that and
00:29:45
usually they do come around to you know
00:29:47
this is the kind of person who's
00:29:48
probably not going to want a lot of
00:29:49
physical possessions and then your other
00:29:52
question was about how to be a better
00:29:54
Gift Giver yeah to other people right
00:29:57
because we are gift givers and that's a
00:29:59
tricky one right so I generally ask
00:30:02
people what they would like what would
00:30:04
be helpful for you what would be useful
00:30:06
for you and I try my best to find
00:30:09
something that I think would be helpful
00:30:10
or useful I as a parent of three kids
00:30:14
have kind of moved toward gifts that
00:30:17
allow experiences or time because I
00:30:20
think they're just so much more
00:30:21
meaningful I mean I have seen my kids
00:30:23
get really excited about a toy the
00:30:25
moment they open it up and two weeks
00:30:26
later it was sitting around and they
00:30:28
never played with it ever again and I'm
00:30:30
thinking well that was really not very
00:30:32
meaningful I know I gave that gift but
00:30:34
it's not adding anything you know in
00:30:36
terms of Joy or value to their life and
00:30:38
not to our relationship so when I give
00:30:40
gifts I I try to think of things
00:30:42
especially to my children that will
00:30:44
increase the value of our relationship
00:30:46
and our connectedness so for my my boys
00:30:49
for example Last Christmas I gave them
00:30:51
tickets to go see the Cleveland
00:30:53
Cavaliers play the Indiana Pacers in
00:30:55
Indianapolis and I had never been to
00:30:57
professional basketball game I don't
00:30:58
even really like sports but we went to
00:31:00
this professional basketball game it was
00:31:02
so cool we had so much fun we were we
00:31:05
got pretty close seats because it was
00:31:07
their big Christmas gift and it was
00:31:09
really fun so that was their Christmas
00:31:11
present from me so I think as I have
00:31:13
kind of gone on this journey I've
00:31:15
started to think about what kinds of
00:31:17
gifts really make a difference to me and
00:31:19
to the giver and my kids will tell you
00:31:21
and there's plenty of research to back
00:31:23
this up as well that the thing that
00:31:25
makes people feel most most grateful
00:31:28
later the things they spend money on
00:31:29
that we feel gratitude about later are
00:31:31
things that were experiences instead of
00:31:33
stuff and that is true based on
00:31:36
scientific research that has been done
00:31:38
so when we think about giving gifts we
00:31:41
can think about I'm going to spend money
00:31:42
on a gift how can I make this really
00:31:44
valuable in the sense of this is going
00:31:46
to be something that's going to make
00:31:48
someone feel grateful or loved or cared
00:31:50
about later and we can try to give those
00:31:52
gifts and obviously sometimes you got to
00:31:53
buy a gift for your assistant or your
00:31:55
boss okay in which case I recommend
00:31:59
something maybe consumable that's not
00:32:01
going to add stuff some local chocolates
00:32:03
or teas or honey or something like that
00:32:05
that will not necessarily be a trinket
00:32:08
that somebody has to dust or take care
00:32:10
of or quietly uh eventually donate so
00:32:14
those are some of my general things on
00:32:16
on gift giving Which maybe as these
00:32:19
holidays are coming up will be helpful
00:32:20
to some of your listeners totally that's
00:32:22
exactly what I was thinking I'm so glad
00:32:24
you you ended up mentioning that
00:32:26
research about uh experiences over
00:32:28
material Goods because that's exactly
00:32:30
what my my mind went to when you started
00:32:31
talking about that Pacers Cavaliers game
00:32:34
another thing that I thought about is it
00:32:36
is hard to quote unquote give the right
00:32:38
gift I if you aren't asking the
00:32:41
recipient what they want and I I think
00:32:43
of an anecdote where I a few Christmases
00:32:45
ago I gave my father-in-law a book by an
00:32:48
author named Jim Collins who's a very
00:32:49
famous kind of management author about
00:32:51
running good businesses and and the the
00:32:54
history of effective businesses that
00:32:55
kind of thing because my father in-law
00:32:57
he he runs he's the the president of the
00:33:00
firm that he works for and I'm like yeah
00:33:02
this this is right up his alley it's
00:33:03
leadership it's running a business it's
00:33:05
that kind of thing it's like well my
00:33:07
father-in-law he's just not the biggest
00:33:09
reader so even though it was probably a
00:33:11
book that he enjoyed and I think he did
00:33:13
flip through it he'd rather kind of
00:33:15
watch a one-hour documentary than than
00:33:17
read that book and it just wasn't that
00:33:19
effective of a gift even though I put
00:33:21
thought into it even though I wanted to
00:33:23
make sure it was unique to him it's just
00:33:25
it's hard to give the best gifts and I
00:33:27
like the idea of just asking that
00:33:29
question yeah yeah and another way of
00:33:31
thinking about it is I often think of
00:33:33
gifts as vehicles for our love and
00:33:36
Goodwill so really the book was just a
00:33:39
vehicle to your father-in-law to say hey
00:33:42
I I care about you and I thought about
00:33:44
you and I love you and and and the book
00:33:47
itself doesn't matter it could have been
00:33:49
a book it could have been a sweater it
00:33:51
could have been tickets to a Pacers game
00:33:53
or whatever it really doesn't matter it
00:33:55
is you know the thought that counts when
00:33:56
it comes down to it the the gift itself
00:33:58
sometimes carries the love and Goodwill
00:34:00
to us and what I always say is you can
00:34:01
keep the love and the Good Will and let
00:34:03
the object go because it was just the
00:34:05
messenger to bring that to you and now
00:34:07
you've received it love and Goodwill we
00:34:09
can keep as much as we want and we don't
00:34:11
have to keep every book and every coffee
00:34:13
mug and every
00:34:14
t-shirt here's a quick ad and then we'll
00:34:16
get back to the show serious question
00:34:19
why do podcasters constantly ask for
00:34:21
ratings and reviews yes they do help
00:34:24
highlight our shows to new listeners
00:34:26
they help straighten just find us on
00:34:27
Apple podcast and Spotify it's totally
00:34:30
true and a good reason to ask for
00:34:31
ratings and reviews but I have something
00:34:34
more important at least more important
00:34:35
to me I want to know if you like this
00:34:38
stuff I want to know if you like my
00:34:40
podcast episodes my monologues my guests
00:34:42
the information I share with you and the
00:34:44
stories I tell I want to improve and
00:34:46
make your listening more enjoyable in
00:34:48
the process so yeah I would love to read
00:34:50
your reviews and sure if you throw a
00:34:52
rating in there too that's great if you
00:34:54
like what I'm doing please share it with
00:34:56
me me it's such a great feeling to read
00:34:58
your feedback I'd love to read your
00:35:01
review or see a rating on Apple podcasts
00:35:03
or Spotify thank you so that that covers
00:35:07
a lot of the physical clutter at least
00:35:08
it covers some of the topic of physical
00:35:10
clutter I think I've seen Ros that you
00:35:12
you've written before about mental
00:35:14
clutter and and a connection between
00:35:16
routines and mental clutter can you
00:35:19
describe a little bit of of some of your
00:35:20
thoughts on that topic yeah so mental
00:35:23
clutter is trickier Than Physical
00:35:25
clutter because physical clutter if you
00:35:27
had a cluttered closet you could just go
00:35:28
in one day and I'm going to take out all
00:35:29
the things I don't use and love and
00:35:31
donate and trash and organize and it
00:35:32
looks great it'll stay that way for a
00:35:35
while maybe quite a while but in our
00:35:37
minds you know negative thought patterns
00:35:40
negative habits um ways we talk to
00:35:42
ourselves or patterns that we get into
00:35:45
when people say things to us or we're in
00:35:46
certain situations those can be much
00:35:49
trickier to let go of but they are also
00:35:52
cluttered because they're clouding us or
00:35:54
keeping us from living our best life and
00:35:56
so one of the things that I have found
00:35:58
to be most helpful is to just begin to
00:36:01
notice when those happen and it can be
00:36:04
really tricky and none of us are ever
00:36:06
going to catch it every single time but
00:36:08
let's say for example every time you
00:36:10
talk to your brother he says something
00:36:12
that makes you kind of feel a little bit
00:36:14
bad about yourself and it's not in a
00:36:16
direct way but maybe he's the older
00:36:18
brother and so he's always saying
00:36:19
something that makes you feel like oh
00:36:21
he's right I shouldn't have said that or
00:36:22
I shouldn't or I shouldn't try that and
00:36:24
you might notice like oh this is this is
00:36:26
a p pattern that every time that I talk
00:36:28
to this person they say something and it
00:36:30
kind of like makes me feel a little bit
00:36:32
put down so it's just something that you
00:36:33
can notice and then maybe going into
00:36:36
those situations again you can just be
00:36:38
aware of it and what's kind of powerful
00:36:40
about mental clutter is we think oh
00:36:42
let's just get rid of it that's really
00:36:44
hard but what's easier and also equally
00:36:48
as effective is just to notice that that
00:36:50
pattern is happening if every time you
00:36:52
interact with someone you start to feel
00:36:54
bad about yourself or even something
00:36:56
like I If you scroll on social media a
00:36:59
lot and and I I know this about my own
00:37:01
self which is why I don't scroll on
00:37:02
social media very often Instagram will
00:37:04
make me feel bad about myself I'll start
00:37:06
to feel oh I'm not good enough or my
00:37:09
business isn't good enough I'm not a
00:37:10
good enough parent whatever whatever
00:37:12
right you attach your own not good
00:37:13
enough to that that happens and so
00:37:16
becoming aware while scrolling I'm
00:37:19
feeling bad right now I could keep
00:37:21
scrolling after that but I'm much more
00:37:24
likely to choose to do something else
00:37:27
when I become aware that this is what's
00:37:29
going on inside of me right now because
00:37:32
it creates that little bit of pause that
00:37:35
gives us the opportunity to make a
00:37:36
choice so routines patterns like that's
00:37:40
kind of what I generally associate with
00:37:43
mental clutter it's the things that that
00:37:44
happen over and over again and a lot of
00:37:46
them are the same ones from when we were
00:37:48
kids not to like get deep into
00:37:50
psychology here or anything I was in
00:37:53
college and I had a a journal that I'd
00:37:55
kept since I was in second grade wow and
00:37:57
I didn't it wasn't like I wrote in it
00:37:59
every single day you know but I ended up
00:38:01
going back through and rereading some of
00:38:03
the things I'd written in second grade
00:38:04
and I had this aha moment where I
00:38:06
realized oh my gosh I have the same
00:38:09
problems that I had in second grade
00:38:11
where I'm worried that people won't like
00:38:12
me or I'm worried that I'm not good
00:38:15
enough or I'm worried that so and so
00:38:17
doesn't think that I'm cool those are
00:38:20
the same problems that I could even be
00:38:21
having today right I worry that people
00:38:23
won't like me or they don't think I'm
00:38:24
good enough or they don't think I'm cool
00:38:26
a lot of these things are things we were
00:38:28
so used to them that that they become
00:38:30
what we think of is the truth or they
00:38:32
become so normal and that's that power
00:38:34
of just oh noticing that this is what
00:38:37
I'm thinking and and that really weakens
00:38:39
it I think it's sort of like in The
00:38:41
Wizard of Oz when Dorothy sees the man
00:38:43
behind the curtain the Great and
00:38:44
Powerful Oz is really scary but when you
00:38:46
realize it's just a man behind the
00:38:47
curtain you're suddenly like oh that's
00:38:50
not what I thought it was so the
00:38:52
noticing of what's going on it's a
00:38:55
practice it's something that I
00:38:57
practice almost daily things like
00:38:59
meditation and so forth can be helpful
00:39:01
I'm not a great meditator I will admit
00:39:03
that I don't like to sit still and be
00:39:05
quiet and hum to myself whatever but
00:39:08
it's really training your mind to notice
00:39:10
when things are getting cluttered and
00:39:12
usually you can tell because there's
00:39:14
often physical things that happen too
00:39:16
like your heart will start racing you'll
00:39:17
start to feel anxious you'll feel like I
00:39:18
can't get everything done there's so
00:39:19
much to do or whatever your general
00:39:21
anxiety patterns are that's usually when
00:39:23
you can tell that mental clutter is
00:39:25
happening yeah that's interesting I was
00:39:27
wondering if that MW meditation would
00:39:29
come up well because I I like you I I
00:39:31
think I'm the most one of the most
00:39:33
amateur meditators out there but when
00:39:36
I've been practicing before and when
00:39:38
I've kind of gotten into a good
00:39:39
meditation habit one of the patterns I
00:39:41
noticed from the meditation commentator
00:39:44
whoever the person is who's kind of
00:39:45
talking me through the meditation in my
00:39:47
app is they they tell you things like
00:39:49
pay attention to your thoughts and where
00:39:52
are those thoughts coming from and why
00:39:54
you why are you even thinking the thing
00:39:55
that you're thinking right now it's such
00:39:57
a strange question to ask but until
00:39:59
someone's asked you that question most
00:40:02
people are blissfully unaware we just
00:40:04
assume that thoughts randomly pop into
00:40:07
our heads kind of completely out of our
00:40:09
control and therefore whatever feelings
00:40:11
or actions we take based on those
00:40:14
thoughts again it's it's not in our
00:40:16
control I got angry I I threw the
00:40:19
something across the room and I yelled
00:40:22
that that's not me that's just that's
00:40:24
just my thoughts and it's like well hold
00:40:25
on a second like if you really try to
00:40:28
slow things down and if you really pay
00:40:30
attention to what's going on in your
00:40:31
head you'll realize that a lot of that
00:40:33
was a choice maybe it felt a little
00:40:36
subconscious but it was a choice
00:40:38
somewhere within your mental clutter and
00:40:41
if you practiced organizing some of
00:40:43
those thoughts a little bit better it
00:40:44
takes some time it's not easy to do
00:40:47
because it's not tangible it's in your
00:40:48
head but if you practice these things in
00:40:51
the long run you'll you'll see some net
00:40:53
benefit yeah I'm I'm so glad that you
00:40:55
shared that it is hard and it it's also
00:40:58
something that I think if you've gone
00:41:01
down this road a little bit sometimes
00:41:02
you can feel like you're failing at it
00:41:04
because you'll find yourself doing the
00:41:06
same pattern that you used to do like Oh
00:41:07
I thought I was better I thought I was
00:41:09
over my self-esteem issues with this
00:41:11
person and and the thing is it's just
00:41:13
it's all practice which is I think why
00:41:15
people call it a meditation practice if
00:41:18
I ever met anyone who said they were a
00:41:20
meditation master I would Pro that's a
00:41:22
big red flag to me that I probably don't
00:41:23
want to listen to that person because
00:41:25
right any one who practices meditation
00:41:27
is a practitioner even the people who've
00:41:30
been doing it for years and years and
00:41:31
years are still practicing I've heard it
00:41:34
described as training a puppy if you've
00:41:37
ever tried to train a puppy they kind of
00:41:38
you know they're hard to train they get
00:41:39
distracted and they go off here totally
00:41:41
you gently try to pull them back and now
00:41:42
we're going to practice sitting and
00:41:43
they'll sit for a little bit and they'll
00:41:45
kind of wander off and the next day you
00:41:47
thought you made progress and they're
00:41:48
back to peeing on the floor again you're
00:41:50
like Oh I thought we worked on this and
00:41:51
so our minds are kind of like a
00:41:53
Perpetual puppy that we're always
00:41:54
training but they do eventually grow
00:41:56
maybe into an adolescent dog at some
00:41:59
point in time but yeah it's a continual
00:42:01
thing it's the kind of the next level
00:42:02
which is actually why I really recommend
00:42:05
if people are interested in this journey
00:42:06
that you start with the physical things
00:42:09
because they naturally as you create
00:42:11
that open physical space it's so
00:42:12
tangible it's so black and white it's so
00:42:15
before and after it's going to create
00:42:17
the mental space for you to start doing
00:42:19
that work inside and it makes that
00:42:23
inside work easier I feel like people
00:42:25
don't always see that there's a
00:42:26
connection to these two things but
00:42:29
starting with the physical space is
00:42:30
going to help you delve into the mental
00:42:32
space because they're very much
00:42:34
connected and and I know that because
00:42:36
generally when I started my business I
00:42:38
used to go to people's homes in person
00:42:41
and we would clear out closets
00:42:42
physically side by side and the thing
00:42:45
people always said to me when I left was
00:42:46
the same whether this person lived in
00:42:48
this sort of palacial residence or a
00:42:49
studio apartment they would say I feel
00:42:52
so much
00:42:54
better and so I started to notice that
00:42:56
the underlying similarity was the
00:42:58
feeling people had in an open clear
00:43:00
space so creating open clear physical
00:43:03
space will help you start to create open
00:43:04
clear mental space which makes it way
00:43:06
easier to examine some of the patterns
00:43:10
that are going on the scripts set of
00:43:12
running in the background of that mental
00:43:14
space that most of us aren't aware of
00:43:16
right and and it's funny some of those
00:43:18
scripts that you talked about obviously
00:43:20
I know a lot of them are they have to do
00:43:21
with relationships and how we see
00:43:23
ourselves in the world and and some of
00:43:24
that emotional side I mean there is we
00:43:27
can tie this back to personal finance
00:43:28
there's a spending script oh yeah and
00:43:30
and some of the people who I've talked
00:43:32
about before when you kind of pull back
00:43:33
and you say well what what were you
00:43:35
thinking I'm just curious what were you
00:43:37
thinking when you made that decision to
00:43:38
buy that thing that you now regret I
00:43:40
don't know what I was thinking yeah or
00:43:42
or it's almost like it's almost like
00:43:43
they were in some sort of it's like
00:43:45
asking someone who's addicted to
00:43:46
chocolate chip cookies like why why did
00:43:48
you eat the whole bag of chips aoy I
00:43:51
don't know it was just in front of me
00:43:52
and I went for it it's these it's these
00:43:54
old I don't want to say reptilian but
00:43:57
it's these old scripts somewhere in deep
00:43:59
within our brain that just are repeat
00:44:01
repeat repeat and maybe we get some
00:44:03
little high out of it or whatever it
00:44:05
might be I'm not a psychologist even
00:44:07
though I pretend to be one on podcast
00:44:09
but suffice to say Me too if you if you
00:44:12
you know sometimes if if you're aware of
00:44:14
the script when it starts to play you
00:44:16
can cut it off before it gets to the the
00:44:19
crescendo where you do something that
00:44:21
you'll later regret yeah it's that
00:44:23
awareness I read this book I don't know
00:44:24
if you ever read anything about eart to
00:44:26
so I know exactly who he is I I haven't
00:44:28
read his book though okay his book I
00:44:30
have it A New Earth one of the few books
00:44:32
I own but he talked about this thing he
00:44:34
called it watching The Thinker and that
00:44:37
was the first time that I realized you
00:44:40
could watch yourself think the
00:44:42
Consciousness that's thinking and the
00:44:44
Consciousness watching you think are not
00:44:46
the same and so sometimes is that kind
00:44:50
of wild it is it and I remember reading
00:44:52
this this was and this what kind of
00:44:53
coincided with the decluttering journey
00:44:55
I started reading this book and I
00:44:57
realized oh my gosh the things that I'm
00:44:59
thinking aren't necessarily me I can
00:45:01
watch myself thinking that about myself
00:45:05
so who's watching me that's really me
00:45:09
that's my Consciousness and it was wild
00:45:12
and just that realization changes the
00:45:14
way you show up in spaces changes the
00:45:17
way you interact with people I felt it
00:45:19
immediately makes you calmer because you
00:45:21
realize you're not at the mercy of these
00:45:23
incessant thoughts and and those are
00:45:26
brief moments there's these like little
00:45:27
brief moments of lightness and then you
00:45:30
go back to your daily life and you're
00:45:31
like I got to do all these things and oh
00:45:32
my gosh I'm behind on email that book
00:45:35
for me really started me on the the
00:45:39
Journey of starting to clear the mental
00:45:41
clutter even though I didn't realize it
00:45:43
at the time that that's what I was doing
00:45:44
but that's when that I returned to some
00:45:46
of those Concepts that I learned in that
00:45:49
book that is so cool at this point I
00:45:51
know that you're on a on a clock and
00:45:53
this I mean this has been an awesome 30
00:45:55
minute and even though there are other
00:45:57
questions I had written down honestly
00:45:59
like I think we're at an awesome point
00:46:02
and if unless there's anything that I
00:46:03
miss that you really want to hit on yeah
00:46:05
I love the direction that we took here
00:46:07
kind of and I think it's important for
00:46:08
people to realize like start with the
00:46:10
physical and that's important and that
00:46:11
matters and that's going to take you to
00:46:14
places you did not imagine mental
00:46:17
clutter Financial clutter relationship
00:46:20
clutter career clutter health and
00:46:22
wellness clutter things that you might
00:46:25
not have even thought of as clutter in
00:46:26
your life once you start clearing it
00:46:29
you're going to see it in all these
00:46:31
other areas of your life and then you
00:46:33
can clear it in those other places this
00:46:35
is still work that I do I've been doing
00:46:36
this for 10 years and I'm still finding
00:46:39
myself in the process of okay I have to
00:46:41
let go of that I'm done with it I need
00:46:44
to let it go yeah and it's no longer
00:46:46
about my coffee cups anymore but it's
00:46:48
about these deeper things that you and I
00:46:49
been getting into in this second half of
00:46:51
the conversation so I appreciate you
00:46:53
taking us there that's cool Rose well
00:46:55
you're welcome and and thank you for
00:46:57
coming on if if listeners want to get a
00:46:58
hold of you Rose if they want to check
00:47:00
out that tedex talk if they want to read
00:47:02
your blog how can they find you the best
00:47:04
place to go would be my website which is
00:47:06
Ros ly.com and for people listening
00:47:09
that's Rose lounsberry is Lou
00:47:12
nsbu r y it's like Berry a bone not
00:47:16
strawberry go to my website you'll have
00:47:18
links to all my social media my blog
00:47:20
posts you can watch my tedex and all the
00:47:22
good stuff there awesome and we will
00:47:24
throw those links into the show notes
00:47:27
Rose lsbury thank you for coming on to
00:47:29
the best interest podcast oh thanks
00:47:31
Jesse it's been
00:47:33
awesome thanks for tuning in to this
00:47:35
episode of the best interest podcast if
00:47:37
you have a question for Jesse to answer
00:47:39
on a future episode send him an email at
00:47:42
Jesse bestin interest. blog again that's
00:47:45
Jesse bestter interest. blog did you
00:47:48
enjoy the show subscribe rate and review
00:47:51
the podcast wherever you listen this
00:47:53
helps others find the show and in invest
00:47:56
in knowledge themselves and we really
00:47:58
appreciate it we'll catch you on the
00:47:59
next episode of the best interest
00:48:02
[Music]
00:48:04
podcast the best interest podcast is a
00:48:07
personal podcast met for education and
00:48:09
entertainment it should not be taken as
00:48:11
Financial advice and is not prescriptive
00:48:14
of your financial situation

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 60
    Best concept / idea

Episode Highlights

  • Bodal Spending Concept
    Bodal spending encourages you to say 'hell yes' or 'no' to major expenses.
    “Say either hell yes or no to major expenses.”
    @ 02m 48s
    January 29, 2024
  • The McDonald's Test
    A method to evaluate if you're enjoying the fruits of your labor.
    “Are you at least spending money on the stuff that brings you joy?”
    @ 14m 08s
    January 29, 2024
  • Simplifying Life with Towels
    Rose Lounsbury discusses how starting with towels can simplify your life.
    “How many towels do you need?”
    @ 16m 04s
    January 29, 2024
  • The Towel Dilemma
    A humorous story about running out of towels and the need for extra ones.
    “How many towels do you need?”
    @ 21m 05s
    January 29, 2024
  • Useful vs. Beautiful
    Exploring the criteria for keeping items: are they useful or beautiful?
    “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”
    @ 22m 20s
    January 29, 2024
  • Gift Giving Insights
    Tips on how to handle unwanted gifts and be a better gift giver.
    “Gifts are vehicles for our love and goodwill.”
    @ 33m 33s
    January 29, 2024
  • The Power of Noticing
    Recognizing negative patterns can empower us to make better choices.
    “Noticing that this is what I’m thinking weakens it.”
    @ 38m 34s
    January 29, 2024
  • Physical and Mental Clutter
    Clearing physical space can lead to mental clarity and improved well-being.
    “Creating open clear physical space will help you start to create open clear mental space.”
    @ 43m 03s
    January 29, 2024
  • Self-Awareness in Thought
    Understanding that our thoughts don't define us can change our interactions.
    “The things that I’m thinking aren’t necessarily me.”
    @ 45m 01s
    January 29, 2024

Episode Quotes

Key Moments

  • Introduction of Rose00:32
  • McDonald's Test11:30
  • Simplifying Life16:04
  • Need vs. Want19:41
  • Laundry Lessons21:11
  • Curating Beauty24:16
  • Physical Space42:11
  • Self-Discovery45:01

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

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