00:00:00
let's slide
okay so I went on the road Dana and this is where everyone's riveted and glued to their uh podcast
00:00:07
like oh weekend 4000 of Spade telling some dumb road story yes it is
yes what
00:00:14
if it is
i love you on the road i don't know if you love you on the road but when I hear that you're on the road it
00:00:21
just lifts my day i don't know why it's fun to hear from your chariot and
00:00:28
your throne and your ranch but when I'm out there grinding um so I go out there
00:00:35
i did a whole Ohio run so it was three cities in Ohio one I do not know of it's
00:00:40
called Newark
at a hot little theater nice airport
it's kind of a you know when it's a small town it's not no not
00:00:47
Newark where all the planes crash this is Newark Ohio
newark Ohio oh excuse me
00:00:53
i That's what I said i was just playing Cleveland Montana so anyway go ahead
00:00:59
exactly that's what happened i go even people in Newark are going are we in New Jersey or are we in Ohio i don't
00:01:06
understand what's going on
i don't trust anything they say
yeah then I went to
00:01:11
Dallas Arizona joe keeps going i like Cleveland Montana better
00:01:17
cleveland Montana probably real
you can't beat that one so
Mhm
by the way I
00:01:23
love this when did this plant grow back behind you
uh what i'm a horiculturalist
00:01:30
i like nature
i'm a carcassist
i'm a caricus i'm a courtalist
00:01:37
look apparently having knickknacks and plants behind you when you do a podcast
00:01:42
exponentially pleases the audience they blows up the audience
i had no
00:01:48
knickknacks now I've got that little special plus I want everyone to guess
00:01:54
what is in that fly on the wall thing email and I won't move what's I put in there and next week if you if you win
00:02:00
you
oh
guess what is in that I'll reveal it on the next superfly
oh [ __ ]
so email
00:02:08
us or or comment on us and guess
yeah I don't even know if there's any way to get a hold of us but do it and uh oh
00:02:15
YouTube maybe they can do it
uh also the people what they say is they watch the whole podcast and they don't mention one
00:02:21
joke they go "Uh Dana's drawer has weird handles and you go that's all you got
00:02:27
from this whole [ __ ]
Hey man that this is our core audience these these are people who love us
they they
00:02:35
see the details the drawer handles are the biggest thing look I don't understand what this new art form is but
00:02:42
I'll I'll tell you one thing this morning I saw more short films done by
00:02:49
chat GBT or whatever and it's getting weird you really you really can make a
00:02:54
film on your laptop now why they do they need us for anything or are we sort of obsolete we've got a full
00:03:01
week left I'm sure
well what the the skill set is learning how to talk to the robot you prompt it david Spade and Theo
00:03:09
Vaughn are running away from an army of 10,000 people and then you'll see it you
00:03:16
don't have to get the 10,000
i mean that's kind of fun to see that yeah yeah yeah it's kind of fun to have the power
00:03:21
to go Spade chased by Godzilla in Scottsdale
spade journeys to the center
00:03:28
of the earth in a spaceship or center of the universe in a spaceship so anyway it's just coming i'm just saying
mhm
00:03:36
look out they go Spade goes to do a show in Ohio and doesn't bomb can we and Chap
00:03:42
BT goes I can't come up with that i can't do that
or something i actually tried it this morning spade Spade gets
00:03:48
five standing ovations and I waited 10 minutes for seeing you get the standing ovation and then it just came up skull
00:03:54
and crossbones i don't know what that meant but
the chat GPT couldn't pull it off they go
it's GPT about
Oh Heather
00:04:02
jumped in she asked chat GPT if Dana was in a gang because he's wearing it
they
00:04:07
asked about your comedy and they said that you were they gave me really comments
oh they gave me comments she asked "What is David Spay do?" or what
00:04:14
did you say oh
what's his comedy about what's his comedy about
oh he crunches leaves and walks in circles
it's good
00:04:22
stuff positive stuff
i put it in i said "Is David Spade funny?" And it just gave me an emoji like
it gave you this guy
i
00:04:29
don't know
i mean some people say so i don't get it some people say GBT we don't get it in the robot
here's what
00:04:36
you have to learn if you're in chat GBT you got to learn how to say down robot down robot because
they can get out of
00:04:42
hand
i saw a girl look like a robot i told Heather she had so much Botox her forehead is a little round and then she
00:04:48
had paint on eyebrows i go look like something from Iroot you know we're starting to look all the same it's all
00:04:55
bad we're trying to say robot uh our goal is to say robot a 100 times this episode
00:05:02
and we're halfway there
i'll take a win hang on we haven't done this yet Dana
00:05:09
uhoh
one of my shows in Cleveland was right next to a clinic
00:05:20
dana guess what i ordered you something else online
where is the things I do for
00:05:25
Dana i don't have it yet but Heather and I are ordering it cuz I go I saw some other doohickey i go "Oh yeah but we got
00:05:31
to have it for D
wait a minute i am a minimalist as you know i don't have I don't want anything but I really want
00:05:38
that [ __ ] thing because whoever invented that sound was it the
00:05:44
20s or the 30s
i know it works still it's so perfect and after you make with
00:05:51
someone you put that on and says
they go "You said your wiener was going to go
00:05:57
straight up." I go "Yeah I've said it before but take a look." Camera pans
00:06:02
down [Music] no wonder Debbie Downer was a hit so she
00:06:10
goes like this yeah she had a funny Now Dana I would get to how I stayed next to the
00:06:17
Cleveland Clinic and it was tubulated into my hotel with another hospital so
00:06:23
you could walk cuz it's cold you know right and what happened was it was like an ant
00:06:29
farm and all these sick people were just coming into my hotel cuz I was in between so I'm like the nice hotel uh hospital bed basically
so
00:06:38
the hotel on both sides and a tube takes it by through your hotel
00:06:43
so a clinic which is very well known and then like a hospital or a university
00:06:49
yeah yeah cleveland Clinic yeah yeah right very nice and then they have tubes because it's so cold out they're smart
00:06:54
like the second floor third floor you walk around the city you can sort of connect
which is such a great idea we
00:07:00
should do it in Arizona because it's so hot but it's cold there so you do that so when I get on the third floor every
00:07:06
day I'm like I don't know if this is a normal hotel everyone's pushing an IV
so I go "What's going on?" They go "Ah we
00:07:12
got some spillage from the spillover." Yeah so
00:07:17
yeah because you know it's just by the way germ and no offense but germs obviously everywhere and then doctor's
00:07:23
on there and everyone and and the doctor goes I go I know you third floor he goes no I'm going to eight uh actually I have
00:07:30
a patient here [Music] well
that's the last one
no no there's
00:07:37
two reasons it's funny one is it's funny it's a funny sound the second reason is
00:07:43
how much joy you get by doing it so there's two lanes of So the fact how
00:07:48
happy you are i don't ever want you to stop until you're not happy making that sound
i know and it makes you sort of
00:07:55
happy adjacent to watch me
try to milk bits out of this thing
right well that's
00:08:02
you know I mean that's the last thing you want after you come out of surgery is that sound now hit it how to go doc
00:08:08
ready
how to go doctor
they go like this here's the last thing you see you go
00:08:13
Dana you're about to go under you're going to count to 10 and then you say "Okay I'm a little nervous." They go
00:08:19
"You shouldn't be we've done sex change surgeries before." Wait I'm going under
00:08:25
oh
00:08:31
Dana by the way you you you look a little loopy today and you want to say
00:08:36
why to our viewers
yeah i had a little minimally invasive surgery for a hernia
00:08:42
yeah and they went through your head look at this hat he's got
00:08:47
I haven't been able to I haven't been able to
Oh yeah you can
for three days
00:08:52
and I had a really cool Pendleton cowboy hat that got lost i was going to wear
00:08:58
that
oh that would have been great
i looked like Christian Bale in 310 to
00:09:04
Yuma look it up
so then at the last second this was on top of the dryer this
00:09:10
So yeah I had a and these glasses so I had a pain pill whatever that is so I'm
00:09:16
a little loopy
oh yeah
mhm but I but I don't I don't I don't cancel it's only
00:09:22
been 36 hours since I
But yeah they they stitch you up they go down the D there's
00:09:28
And you know everyone's like "Oh I had it i felt nothing." Well guess what i felt something you know
yeah i think I
00:09:36
was the only one that was brave enough to say it is mine was a double which
00:09:41
whatever that means is just a little more tricky we have the same doctor which is funny
but
mine was bad Dana
00:09:48
because when I did it
the doctor said "Oh you know it's outpatient or whatever right?"
And I woke up and I go "I'm not
00:09:55
going anywhere." And my brother had my brother come out
and he carried me put me in a wheelchair
i was like cuz you
00:10:02
know your like muscles are cut so I was like "Fuck." He carried me like a baby like a
00:10:07
bodyguard me
and out of insult to injury my [ __ ] neighbor uh dug in his front
00:10:13
yard and cut out all the power lines so I got home and I couldn't get in the gate sounds like a rich problem is a
00:10:20
gate uh and then so my brother had to bump the gate open his back carry me all the way into the house which was pitch
00:10:26
black no electricity so he terrifyingly puts me in the bed and I'm just like I
00:10:33
can't get up if there's a fire if there's a problem i'm like this is so scary and I'm on my pain pills which I
00:10:38
don't like taking for any real reason i just want to take them for fun and so I'm laying there and then I've got a
00:10:44
catheter jammed up the wazoo uh it's up to my ribs i think they went down the
00:10:49
catheter i said "Yeah I'm cool."
Oh Dana yeah it's optional you could have just said
"No because I didn't want to get up
00:10:57
and pee i couldn't stand up my brother the next day had to pick me up and just
00:11:03
swing me around just for fun." I don't know why I asked that how big is your brother which
00:11:09
is this a cyclops
what a job he's like I came out here to take care of you i don't want to do literally everything
00:11:14
and I'm like can you check my
catheter it feels a little loose
00:11:20
he's like I'm sorry what we had the same surgeon who's great he's worldrenowned but you know I get in there and they
00:11:27
were kind of like well he he's got a special case right now so he had an extra large person and it took like 3 to
00:11:34
four hours so I waited and then when he came in I said "Are you all right dude do you need a snack or something?" Cuz
00:11:39
he looked
He's wiped out
he looked "No your stomach hurts when you laugh."
Yes
00:11:48
not my stomach it's the groin area i I'll be fine the guy did a great job
00:11:54
brilliant surgeon super nice guy and um you know what what are you gonna do i
00:11:59
just think you should manage your expectations he asked me before I went "Are are you nervous?" I go "Surprisingly no." And he goes "You
00:12:07
should be a little nervous." Jesus he goes "I'm nervous as shit." Yeah
00:12:14
but he said "I just did this huge I don't want to say fat guy but like monstrously humongous fat guy."
And uh
00:12:21
and he goes "I'm wiped out." But uh I say we just get this one knock it out then we can all go to lunch and you're
00:12:27
like "Yeah let's just buzz through this one quickly."
Well you know they always say it's a chip shot in golf like
00:12:33
meaning that it's easy but chip shots are not very easy so I don't know where that came from but he did a great job
00:12:41
and uh I just will be glad when um I don't feel pain getting up and moving
00:12:46
around but I'm fine as long as Don't make me laugh or I'll be in pain so now you have a challenge
i won't do I
00:12:54
believe me you're in no danger i I when I was in there I They go "It's the third day we think we're going to get your
00:13:01
catheter up." I didn't want to look it's so crazy that that even happens cuz it goes into your wiener do you know what
00:13:07
that is medically
mhm yeah
so it's like a It's like a number two pencil it's way too big to be in there so goes in there
00:13:13
and then she goes like this they just pull it out right and what happens is the way it stays in just to
00:13:21
sicken everyone you might want to pull over is at the end it's got a little
00:13:26
like a balloon like so it stays in doesn't slide out so one time they go
00:13:31
one time they forgot to deflate that part and started yanking i go I can't
00:13:37
hear it i can't hear it
well that see you're making me laugh again that is hilarious
00:13:43
it's hilariously horrifying
that is so funny
uh but other than that I think I'm
00:13:50
glad you're okay say this is the loopiest I've been on the podcast even
00:13:55
more than when I had dental work right before I came over and did the podcast and also you're being tough because you
00:14:02
look bit of a gang banger today which is kind of cool and tough guy with the plan
00:14:07
i'll just announce it i mean this is my new look i mean there's no reason there's no logical reason for me to look
00:14:14
anything other than what I look like now cuz I can see it go if you can look this cool and this badass why would you look
00:14:21
wimpy i mean
I'm picturing it like it's just black hair
and uh it looks funnier
00:14:29
like that's just your black hair growing in
i'm doing I'm doing an edge i'm doing edge with Bono and Edge yeah
oh this is
00:14:36
the edge that's right
it looks like hair okay
it looks like hair i picture it
00:14:41
looking like hair and it's funnier to me right that's good i'm I'm happy for I'm
00:14:46
happy for you one thing um
do you do you have more road stories besides the
00:14:52
hospital one
no there there's no real that's not even a real story but yes that's it for the road what else you got
00:15:01
[Music]
00:15:08
dane I'm a little bit of a a spendy Suzie if you know what I mean a a boozy Suzie and a spendy Suzie
I'm more of a
00:15:15
boozy Suzie but yeah
yeah you are you are a spendy spender yeah
and a lot of our uh listeners are nice enough to
00:15:21
write in and say you look like you drank a lot and slept on your face but that's just constructive criticism
well it's
00:15:27
very concise and uh you don't really drink very much i'll tell the fans but
00:15:33
just puffy uh this is where Clara comes in cla is your everyday smarter spending
00:15:39
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it allows you to make smarter
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00:16:53
summer the thing that made me I don't know it's sort of weird that you know
00:16:58
you see these little there's driverless cars whimos right
and they're all over
00:17:04
LA and then eventually and then you see the little cars see the Whimos and they're kind of cute and you do
00:17:10
extrapolate into rooting for the Whimo there's no driver but you know it's an AI but you sort of watch it oh I hope it
00:17:18
makes the right turn so during the local festivities in downtown LA people who
00:17:23
were protesting decided to call the little robot Whimo
00:17:29
to come pick them up and then they would explode it or burn it up so the Whimo
00:17:34
actually they've installed a little AI voice like "Yes sir right away downtown LA see you in 19 minutes." Oh there you
00:17:42
are i'll pick you up what the [ __ ] you're going to explode me oh my [ __ ]
00:17:49
god oh that's horrible so I
Oh is that a Is that a bottle of booze oh it's gas
00:17:56
inside why is there a rag on what did I do to you
please don't
00:18:01
explode me i don't want to be exploded so anyway I just felt like that was kind of a nasty thing to do but it was
I
00:18:09
don't know if the riots were anti-weo i don't know what was going on
i don't know what they would please deport me
00:18:15
but then they had Mexican flags there waving you'd think like where do you want to go what I mean
I I know I think
00:18:22
the message is a little confusing i get the message of if people have jobs and
00:18:27
they're doing
and they're and they're contributing i I didn't think that's what this was all about but uh that is
00:18:35
the message I think and it's getting blurry when it gets more riotous and there's professional riers that
00:18:41
definitely come into this and they are here to shake [ __ ] up and cause trouble and when it gets like that it gets away
00:18:46
from the original intent and then it just turns into chaos and then it's looting and it's all these problems and
00:18:53
then no one even knows what's going on then they bring in the National Guard
to ideally just make people go "Hey just
00:18:59
stop we got to just stop what we're doing and just figure this out instead of
it's getting worse." You know you
00:19:05
don't want it to get worse and back in 2020 you know we can't burn down the city again it's just too much it's too
00:19:12
much hurts too many business hurts hurts everyone and they got the Olympics coming and they got World Cup and so
Mhm
00:19:18
you know I feel like it first of all I saw it i thought it was a rerun second of all I was like I've got a great
00:19:25
solution Dan and you're going to love this all right here we go we send in Bonnie Blue
00:19:34
do you know who Bonnie Blue cather likes this idea she's the one that had sex with a thousand people she
00:19:40
could try to have sex with all the people
at the protest
00:19:46
10
then it turns into a fun thing
right and it still can get its message across
00:19:51
yeah yeah it gets a little watered down with Bonnie Blue but she brings joy because her next thing she's doing is
00:19:58
she's I don't know if Heather heard this one this is this isn't putting women it's not projecting them forward it
00:20:06
might be inching them back because she is going to go in a glass cage and let 24 hours whoever wants to come in do
00:20:12
whatever they want to
this this was already done
oh and it got very very
I
00:20:18
do remember one girl just stood there and said do what you want to me they started very minimal
and then they like
00:20:24
slapped her and they punched her and they
was blood at the end this I think she's just going pure have
00:20:32
sex with me i mean she's it's sort of whatever you want but I don't think she's there to play cricket
00:20:38
yeah woman had all sorts of tools laid out she might have
Oh tools to either have
00:20:45
sexual interaction
or to hurt her
or her physical they could do whatever
it's that was like an art piece this one's a
00:20:51
little less arty in in my mind
little lower on the art scale and more on the corn dog uh boner scale
that's a bit of
00:20:57
a stretch human beings whatever they can think of eventually they'll do so some
00:21:03
someone thought of that hey how about I do 10 men and then an hour later all right I got you i'm going for a thousand
00:21:10
by the way I have to say uh living in California and over the years having
00:21:16
people from south of the border from different countries working for us and with us uh very hardworking patriotic
00:21:24
people so I don't want those people uh bothered at all so just wanted to go on
00:21:29
record you know they pay taxes
of course i I think I think the idea is
00:21:36
part part of the people think that everyone comes over the border is horrible and part think that everyone is
00:21:42
great i think there's a
huge percentage that come over to have a better life and then there's some that play our system
00:21:48
because we clowned it up and and just opened it and so if you open it other countries say hey if I'm a bad guy this
00:21:54
is our chance to get in and get settled and now I can cause trouble if that's my
00:21:59
if that's what I want to do but there's a ton of great people here and you know it's a messy thing but yeah you you want
00:22:06
you want the criminals to kind of not hang out
well I don't Yeah we want to
00:22:12
get rid of people and then you don't know why they're down like if they're going in to get someone that like if you told me someone I knew was also a
00:22:19
trafficker I wouldn't know that but they might know more than we do so they might have a reason but I don't know i don't
00:22:24
like that they're just grabbing regular people of course cuz people here working for 10 years and they're trying to do it
00:22:30
right and it's getting muddied by the people that do it wrong and it's just a big mess this Bonnie Blue thing might not fix it and then if not I'm out of
00:22:37
ideas
hold that thought i mean I'm not I'm not going to
I'm not going to [ __ ] on the Bonnie Blue concept i'm not going
00:22:43
to
You're not going away from that just yet you're not going to throw it away i'm not going to punt if football on
00:22:49
that you know
it's just
that's our best option right now but and if there's a better one I'll take it but right now
00:22:56
right
that's the placeholder
uh I live in a sanctuary county most I think LA is
00:23:02
a sanctuary city it's a sanctuary state basically so but anyway it's messy i
00:23:07
don't want anyone to get hurt and I just want us all to live in peace and harmony i'm from the 60s i'm an old hippie
00:23:13
basically yeah i mean I just don't want the
00:23:19
looting the fires the the burning it just doesn't help anyone and it's a lot of nice people down there that have
00:23:24
little businesses like just let them be they don't want to be a part of this no one does
no and and again just in the
00:23:30
macro you know if you think of the United States government and the California government the local government you know you want them to
00:23:37
take care of the national parks make sure they tax and help people and do all that but the I have two things I want
00:23:43
from the government the first thing is to protect me from enemies outside of the US and the other thing is to protect
00:23:49
me from criminals in my neighborhood so those are the two number one and number two things I want so law and order
00:23:56
downtown just creates more jobs more businesses and I am running I'm running against Karen Bass i should announce
00:24:03
that
once I get once I get off these pain pills I'll I'll start the campaign
00:24:08
they asked Joe Exotic what he thought of her and he goes "Karen Bass you bitch."
00:24:15
Sounds like That's the whole thing carol Baskin it sounds like
and the reaction
00:24:22
to that
no you you were going to play him and now you do the best impression of him
now I just do an impression of
00:24:28
him that's like the only one I got left uh okay other than that yeah the World Cup but what they will do is I don't
00:24:34
like the skim job of when Gavin Newsome had you know the leader of China come to
00:24:40
San Francisco he cleaned up all the homelessness and everything and all the drug people for one week till the guy
00:24:46
came and then he let it go to [ __ ] it's like why why don't you just fix it for people in San Francisco don't fix it for
00:24:52
someone so when the Olympics come he's just making more of a problem they're going to have to clean up downtown and
00:24:58
graffiti they want it to look pristine right
well the Olympics
or move the Olympics
the Olympics are funny because
00:25:05
every city that hosts the Olympics tries to go all out paint everything perfect get rid of the weirdos you know and just
00:25:12
make it you know it's a big
poop in the river
PR stunt but
they tried to in
00:25:18
France they tried to hide the poop in the river remember they all threw it in the river
oh they threw it in the river and thought it would flow through and no
00:25:24
one would notice and the swimmers went and went "What the [ __ ]
00:25:32
yeah exactly
i know
okay go ahead what were you saying
they should do the Olympics in the San Francisco Bay area
00:25:38
because it's too [ __ ] hot in LA in August and the Bay Area has a much more temperate climate it has all the
00:25:44
facilities i'm just saying there Stanford University for the track and field you know swimming yeah it's got
00:25:50
redwood trees it's a much better climate but LA I don't know i wish them all the best
00:25:55
but I you know they got to clean it up well let's get to the uh stories that
00:26:01
was a big story in LA this week cuz everyone's talking about it but um
well it's
and everyone's waiting to hear what's our take
it's kind of ongoing i
00:26:08
mean the the latest thing which I thought was kind of funny title was uh anti- king or not a king we don't want a
00:26:15
king
oh yeah
like Trump Saturday
yeah i thought it was just sort of funny but
00:26:21
the the way Trump is he'll dress up as the king with a crown and come out
oh yeah
i was thinking did he do something
00:26:27
like that or they're just saying in general he feels cuz he's bringing tanks out to
whatever they think he's doing
00:26:34
they think it's too much so
I think those are going to be in every city though so look out Saturday
look out
00:26:41
Saturday mhm
don't go to Burger King
you might want to stay in okay let's play a
00:26:48
story of one of our stupid stories and we'll comment on it which we all find out at the end of the show we're all AI
00:26:54
or something
let's see tricked every
I'm going to be honest this time with my response i'm not going to be joking
00:27:00
around
all right
i'll I'll let you know all right go
okay
okay ready
00:27:10
whenever we're ready by the way you like this color on me Dana it's called maroon i think
00:27:17
it matches perfectly with everything in there but that one sign behind you is pretty bright the silver one
00:27:24
this one the the YouTube i can't I would never do the weather
00:27:30
yeah that one we're going to switch out [Music]
00:27:41
okay you know Dana there's a there's a term you might not hear a lot called ed
00:27:46
e ed phone home close ed get harder yeah this is a hymns
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sexuality
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I mean if you're
00:28:21
feeling a little stalled out in the bedroom through him I'm just saying David you
00:28:27
can get some of the gas back in the tank if you know what I mean
i do yeah
and guess what is personalized ED treatment
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yeah listen HIMS is just changing men's healthcare because they get access to affordable sexual health
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that's right hims provides access to a range of
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you know it's funny cuz sometimes
00:29:07
you're out making out in the car it's not your fault and then down there it's going like this are we doing this are we
00:29:15
doing this
and then things start to happen and then like oh we're driving again oh we're at the door making out we
00:29:21
doing this no no so sometimes not your fault like it's just a matter of reps
00:29:26
like and then when you really want things to happen
it's like give me a
00:29:32
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00:30:40
plan well if Diddy's off what do you think of Diddy as a host i think can Diddy get off he might right
00:30:48
if Diddy gets off they're really circling this trafficking because they're saying if you flew a girl to
00:30:55
Vegas and gave her $1,000 spending money and then had sex with her there that
00:31:00
could be sex trafficking because you brought someone over state lines gave them money to have sex so that's a small
00:31:06
version of it which is
been done every day since the beginning of time but but the actual stuff he's doing is basically
00:31:14
it's going to be one of those lawyer things Dana where he goes "Listen do I want to go bowling with Diddy?" No is he
00:31:20
a gross pig yes does he do all these horrible things not a great guy is he on
00:31:26
trial for being a great guy no cuz he'd lose but does he a sex trafficker
00:31:31
ladies and gentlemen the jury we're missing this is what we're judging on not all this this is all noise it's
00:31:37
gross noise it's pretty rough and tumble over there in the old Diddy household
i know i'll
00:31:44
bet that guy already has his closing statement he's just going to go P diddy
00:31:49
a shitty guy but nothing didn't do anything illegal boom
yeah he goes like
00:31:56
this in closing I like to say he's shitty over here i call him that you
00:32:01
should too he's a [ __ ] [ __ ] this guy gross what he's doing makes me
00:32:07
cringe is he a sex this guy is crude he's rude he's
00:32:14
obnoxious he's lude he's lewd he He's a sex fiend
00:32:21
he He has too much money no one really knows what he does but is he a sex
00:32:26
trafficker no we got to let him walk out he's got a
00:32:32
table tonight at a club he'll go out if he gets off he's going to be the he's going to be the king of the world he'll
00:32:37
be like
everyone will be like there's definitely people that will treat him like a hero of course like oh man you
00:32:44
beat him he won't miss a step
yeah and the guy who's going to give the closing
00:32:50
statement is
I like you still you still talk like the lawyer you go "Yeah
00:32:56
who Who is the guy giving the closing statement?"
Mr bill Cosby
00:33:02
you see the the ladies like the baby oil all the time and Pete did he just did
00:33:08
the baby oil dismissed i haven't done Cosby in two years so I'm a little
I know that's a pretty good one cosby was
00:33:15
the mentor
is he a jerk is he Is he this is he that is he a criminal nope
00:33:22
dismissed not a great guy david give us a topic and I'll I'll riff on it then you tag me
00:33:31
this is This is not planned okay uh
00:33:38
there is a uh
what
how Oh we're not going to do this one's too controversial there's a How to Train Your Dragon
00:33:44
sequel why is that
it's live action it's not uh
00:33:50
God I had a good one though i'm looking I'm looking at Yahoo News yahoo okay I'll set you up with this one
00:33:58
uh no oh Brad Pitt asked if he'd work with Tom Cruz again and he gave one stipulation
00:34:07
i can't click on it though god dang it what do you think it is uh they they'd
00:34:12
have to do the vampire movie again oh I know we can talk about Heather's
00:34:18
Precious Sydney Sweeny's soap no it's bath water
00:34:23
sydney Sweeney is she selling beauty products she's selling some of her bath
00:34:29
water that they're going to put in soap that guys can whack off too or something it's soap with a hole in it i heard
00:34:37
that part is the best hook of all so is like this is the crumbling of
00:34:44
America so I don't want to think that Sweeney is selling male sex toys basically
00:34:54
yeah yeah you know what now that you position it like that yes yes
is she publicly traded can I buy her as a stock
00:35:00
cuz that thing's going to go [ __ ] ballistic yeah her ex No during the movie with
00:35:06
Glenn Pal you know they did that fake romance i don't know if you remember this might be a little out of your orbit
00:35:13
but
I know about that mhm
the girlfriend just finally said that uh she was very
00:35:19
uh miffed by the whole situation which she should be i have to take her side said she was flying out to Australia and
00:35:25
he said you know what she said like Camala don't come don't come because she
00:35:32
goes he says this is where he got a little I thought a little rude the producers and I talked we don't think
00:35:39
you should fly out here because it would hurt the fake romance there that he's
00:35:44
cheating and she was like that's when I decided I should go by the way if you're
00:35:49
telling a a a female oh me and my producer ers decided why would they have
00:35:55
anything to do with you know
I I don't know I haven't had that experience but
00:36:01
it must be odd if your significant other your boyfriend girlfriend husband wife
00:36:06
Yeah
and is just doing basically softcore porn on a movie set all day
00:36:11
just must be odd you'd like to go there and look right and off camera uh yeah
00:36:16
she wanted to come check in on those because she heard rumors and she buzzed out she was going to buzz out there and
00:36:22
they said don't buzz and so but you know I met Glenn Pal recently thought he was
00:36:27
a super cool guy i'm a guy i'm I'm from a different world like I'm not in this thing with her so but she did make sense
00:36:34
to me like that's I would get the offensiveness of you should tell me this
00:36:40
is all fake and you should tell me that you wouldn't cheat and she goes he wouldn't say that
i know but if it if
00:36:46
you do that too much it seems like the opposite is true honest baby i'm telling you man nothing's going on i think she's
00:36:53
ugly you know kind of thing
yeah you go Sydney Sweeney that gross are you joking
00:37:00
is this a Are you joking
are we on some kind of can camera show is this a joke is this a prank show the idea that I
00:37:08
would be attracted to Sydney was turned on yeah
or somehow because we're naked
00:37:14
under sheets for hours filming that it would mean anything are you out of your
00:37:20
mind darling that's good it's always always gaslight
00:37:26
what's going on
oh something happened on my computer so that's Sydney Sweeney and uh I get
00:37:34
why the girlfriend Gigi got a little sideways you know it's not my business
00:37:40
that's never kept me out of anything it's not my business
i think it's only human and and natural for her to kind of
00:37:45
go whoa you know
yeah i mean unfortunately Sydney Sween's a monstrous star and Glenn Pal's a huge star it just
00:37:53
you know any relationship it's a tough ride when people are blowing up
when Yeah they're they're Yeah you're He's a
00:38:00
male leading man she's a leading woman you know and they're they do a lot of sex scenes in their films
it's really
00:38:07
And she's gorgeous it's like three good-looking people so I'm sure they'll all land on their feet okay here's the
00:38:13
here's the next story and then we're going to wrap it up
we're going to wrap it up i'm going to
Yeah but I got one that'll affect you
00:38:20
because someone sent me this and I did see this story
uh Mike Meyers involved
00:38:26
in the Diddy trial did you hear that they said
I've heard Yeah a lot of these
00:38:32
things i
What is it is is the idea that his parents because I think he's their parents were British mike's parents
from
00:38:38
Liverpool okay right so they like the Beatles
00:38:44
they might be what is the thing is that his parents had jobs and something over
00:38:49
there so they're trying to find a link
i You know what i I just I should text him
00:38:54
and find out
we should find out and clear up
i didn't even want to bring it up i thought it was one of those silly
00:38:59
things the initial thing that I saw was a picture of him as uh Austin Powers
00:39:08
and he's looking at himself as Dr evil has his pants down you see his butt and on Dr evil's butt is a tattoo of P diddy
00:39:17
is that true is that in the movie
i only you know this is I
It could be fake it
00:39:23
could be a joke
but um
I don't think there's anything
00:39:29
nefarious going on
and then there was rumors that Mike took a tour of the CIA facilities
00:39:35
uh I just assume everything's uh fake until I hear otherwise you know
or
00:39:42
there's also a reason i mean curiosity it could be anything you don't know and uh but we should ask him we can clear it
00:39:48
up for him
or you can come on
he's a friend of the show
friend of the show it's It's Wayne i always you know Mom G
00:39:55
he's Wayne i've always got his back
yeah it's [ __ ] G and Wayne
gar
00:40:02
uh vouches for his friend by the way I just didn't want people to go without seeing my movie poster tell me is it too
00:40:09
the Godzilla oh you tilt it down you're smart i think it's cool it may just get
00:40:14
a little more inevidence so maybe on that door or maybe right behind the plant or something up on the wall
00:40:20
instead of I like it do you do you
do you really uh just trying to
00:40:28
do something colorful because you know I had the white wall and apparently people Is he from a low you know low crime
00:40:36
facility or something is he chained to a radiator and
I mean I move around too so
00:40:43
you know
double tree in Yeah um well I think you gave it 120% today Dana and
00:40:49
everyone's applauding you you got a million birthday messages on YouTube last week they were very nice
people
00:40:54
like you god knows why
yeah I don't really um
00:41:00
I should have checked them but I don't know i like I like to have a
00:41:06
little fun at one point every day even if it's watching the basketball game with an ice cold beer or whatever
00:41:13
you
You're gonna watch tonight Friday the Pacers
00:41:20
i don't have to wink on that one the Pacers are playing tonight i saw the game
the other night
00:41:27
right the other night yeah that was um
00:41:32
uh it's turning into really really exciting series
it's a bit of a battle royale i think it's what everybody
00:41:39
wanted yeah
yeah no one's walking over anybody else so what about the shot who was on the side
00:41:45
of the court to prove that you saw it caitlyn Clark was sitting with who go
00:41:51
caitlyn Clark was sitting with other WNBA people or
Yeah
um Angel Reese i
00:41:58
don't know was she with a celebrity
i think it was two other players um I thought you knew i think one
Well well
00:42:04
one was uh Reggie
Reggie Miller was in the stands when they were playing in
00:42:10
Indianapolis
right
she was with two other gals from the WNBA but I don't know who they were
and you didn't even
00:42:15
know who she was sitting with you asked me
i asked you the trick so you'd answer you didn't know the answer but I got it
00:42:21
right two other uh WNBA stars
yeah maybe Sabrina i don't know
um
it's not really
00:42:29
that riveting but I just was curious um and it was fun to see them out at a
00:42:36
regular NBA game
yeah I mean it's I think it's great the WNBA and whoever
00:42:41
you want to give credit to is on the map it's ratings are going up exponentially so let's
love to
00:42:48
see Kaitlyn Clark she's great is she playing again that's the last question then I'll let everyone go
i think she had a little injury or something but she
00:42:54
Yeah she's she started out I mean yeah she's setting records all the time
00:43:00
meanwhile look at you hernia back here busting your ass on this podcast
00:43:05
i'll come I'll come back better and stronger you know it just happens but I had such
00:43:12
strong abs
yes
that the guy did it a different way so I don't know
he didn't
00:43:17
break a scalpel did he
no no but you can do a mesh like put a little mesh on it
00:43:22
or you can just go with the actual tissue if it's really strong yeah with me they said you know because
00:43:29
it's so dainty down there and I go
what does that mean he goes no it's just because you're so gushy and smooshy well
00:43:37
I shouldn't even be saying this but he knows we're friends and everything and um he said he said "Look I shouldn't
00:43:44
have done this but it's or it's organic it probably was absorbed but when I did David's surgery I put a little dandelion
00:43:50
in there."
Oh he did
yeah i go "You put a dandelion in there?" He goes "Yeah
00:43:55
that's funny." Dand
and I said he named his special that you can see it on Amazon Prime he goes "Really an Amazon
00:44:02
Prime right now it's playing." Yes dandelion David Spade live and then he said "Dana I'm going to give you a hint
00:44:08
for your next special you might want to call it sponge." Cuz he left one in you
00:44:17
and scalpel he left a scalpel in there he goes "I'm forgetful."
00:44:23
Yes he left an inflatable raft uh when I had a minor foot thing there's probably
00:44:30
a kink with some doctor where he like leaves something small in some that's a sickening thing but I guarantee you it's
00:44:36
real i guarantee
uh yeah definitely or writing things on different organs and stuff
yeah I hate it
okay well thanks
00:44:43
for I I appreciate that I'm puking everyone out in the last 5 seconds
well I didn't know what to do with my hands
00:44:48
normally I'm holding it and I finally got a thing like this so I know you got a mic i was going like this i was going like this i went like this i mean I I
00:44:55
should really be at a comedic stance of some kind yeah it's weird because if no one
00:45:01
notices I have a mic stand and Dane always holds it like a comedian but at a certain point he decided to grow up
well
00:45:08
I had one of these things attached to the table and it broke and I'm kind of scattered i I didn't fix it so I just
00:45:14
held it for two years yeah you're like Paul Ma Little House in
00:45:19
the Prairie all right Dana if that wasn't the end I think people realize this is the end now
this is like the
00:45:24
movie credits yeah this is like uh the doors this is the end
00:45:31
you're still here you're still watching you're still watching you're still listening you're still driving i want to
00:45:36
thank you once again um for the next Superfly I'm going to do something that I've never done before but in the
00:45:43
comments section on YouTube try to guess what I've placed in that little too
00:45:49
leather thing and if you guess it
00:45:54
we're going to we're going to get some kind of something good's going to happen to you
oh my that's it
well do you want
00:46:00
to announce a prize a
Well could you send it to them or is it two words too much
send whatever's in there
is that
00:46:08
like a hint or a clue
no we could send it to them as a winner we could say you win it
oh I see
is it possible
i mean we
00:46:15
could send them the bag but then I wouldn't
No we send them what was in it what's in it that's it
it is possible
00:46:20
they could send it
okay so maybe we'll do that of course
but how do we know if they're going to want it
they won't want
00:46:27
it they might okay we'll figure it out we'll This is
We're going to figure it out we're trying to create mystery on
00:46:32
the show so
yeah it's so much mystery people like [ __ ] freaking out uh okay i'm going to go and Dana it was nice
00:46:38
meeting you and we're going to uh have a great time so take care of yourself i'll check on you later
yes sir
00:46:46
this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss
00:46:52
Berman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it
00:46:59
[Music]
