00:00:00
all right welcome to the show uh Dana Carvey look at this guy
daniel Spade
00:00:06
we're a little tighter on you in your plant today
i move things around i like to keep people guessing
everyone's
00:00:14
guessing oh wait everyone guessed what's in the uh
I know
well we'll get to that we'll get to that
we'll get that just
00:00:19
sits there something in there and I think as we go forward I'll I'll keep this going and something will be in
00:00:26
there and whoever guesses it will at least give you a shout out
and maybe
00:00:31
have you
That's all I get
well no maybe have you make a video and and promote your own podcast cuz everyone has one
00:00:38
David
yeah well we have an announcement today speaking with a good transition we have a uh this is our last Superfly um
00:00:47
not because it's it's not really stopping we're reinventing it so we are
00:00:53
going to go to one podcast twice a week and it's they're both called it's all
00:00:59
going to be fly on the wall so we're going to go on video now that's the big trick so we're going to be some tweaks
00:01:05
to it little reimagining pretty much the same but very exciting dana was freaking
00:01:10
out all weekend excited popping a stitch i was excited
i'm afraid of change i
00:01:16
don't like any kind of change so you're telling me so it's two fly on the walls
00:01:22
one of us doing our numskull stuff usually without a guest the other one with a guest and a little more stuff and
00:01:29
one's on Monday and one's on Thursday with the guest
yeah so next week we will
00:01:34
start with a show on Thursday monday we drop a trailer it will explain everything so tune into that be freaking
00:01:41
riveted to that play it over and over until you get it
and then Thursday will be a new episode and then the following
00:01:47
Monday they'll go like that
so the regular Wednesday Fridays are different
00:01:52
so please adjust your life accordingly yes and if you're listening to us right
00:02:00
now it's Friday and so have a good weekend
yeah exactly it is yeah uh so
00:02:07
we'll get into some stupid stuff over the weekend my um you've got a funny thing mine's boring so maybe we'll start
00:02:14
with your funny one well I just you know I haven't really done Trump lately as a rhythmic
00:02:20
character and I saw him you know he's out there a lot of times he's on the grass with these construction workers
00:02:26
who are putting up a new flag pole you You're beautiful you're tremendous i mean and then there's reporters there so
00:02:32
he's mentioning Jerome Pal for you intellectuals he's the head of the Federal Reserve and he can decide what
00:02:38
our interest rates are and Trump wants them low
00:02:43
and Jerome is staying Mr palestine where he is so and Trump's like uh I've tried
00:02:50
everything I can to get him to lower it everybody's lower europe is lower and I could be nice i was nice i can be nasty
00:02:57
i can be a little girl if you want i can be a tiger a bear an introvert an
00:03:02
extrovert i can be a school girl dancer i can be a I could be whatever you need
00:03:07
whatever you want i could be nasty nasty then nice and then a little more nasty and I'm not really exaggerating that's
00:03:14
literally what I could be i could be a circus clown i could be an acrobat i could be an astronaut but I could be
00:03:21
nice and nasty and God now that I have a microphone I don't have to hold it
00:03:26
nasty i didn't even know I was still trapped in this guy hey
no you I saw
00:03:32
this clip it's exactly like that because he's trying to say I I offered to have
00:03:37
dinner with him and that was nice then he goes "But I can also be tough but I can be whatever you want." And then he
00:03:43
went on he just went on and on and it was exactly "Yeah I can be a raccoon and I can steal your garbage."
He does he
00:03:49
says everything
we can meet we can meet in the Bahamas we can meet in Alaska it doesn't matter to me we can go to
00:03:56
McDonald's or we can go to a fivestar restaurant i can be a beast i can be a
00:04:01
little girl a shy little girl
we can sit on a teeter totter
00:04:07
what if that's what you want you decide starts doing character i could be a little a little girl maybe Trump gets a
00:04:15
noob rhythm i could be nice
i'll come there in a ballerina outfit whatever you want i'll do a little pyouette we'll do a curtsy
and I still want to say it
00:04:24
i still can't get used to when reporters ask him a question and then he admonishes them for this woman said
00:04:31
"What's going to happen?" I ran like I'm going to tell you like I'm going to tell you right i'm going to tell you right
00:04:37
now and he's looking at the construction work i'm going to tell you now i don't think so i'm not going to tell you i'm not going to tell you a thing and I just
00:04:43
wonder what the reporter's doing that entire time okay
we got it after two
00:04:48
seconds no comment what they used to say you can whisper it to me i won't tell anyone
barack Obama would go "No
00:04:54
comment." W go "No comment." Trump goes "Why would I tell you i'm not going to
00:05:00
tell you i know the answer it's in here it's in a very large brain where I can't." You're going to use it on your
00:05:07
crummy station which I hate yeah
fake news fake news
fake news bad reporting
00:05:14
so I had done Trump a while but he was made me laugh
no I did see that i thought he was funny uh yeah
you know
00:05:20
what he says when he does a joke now he goes like this
00:05:25
oh no
yeah I got a new one dude
you got a new one
00:05:31
i need a
I just see him and I buy them and I go this is for Dana superfly we
00:05:36
rating spike they they tape the people listening and then it goes like this
00:05:42
spike spike spike
if this is technically our last super fly
it's not really but
00:05:49
go ahead
then maybe we will get 10 million downloads
00:05:54
we've gotten close to that
i'm just saying
not super close but close uh
okay
00:06:00
so I have a trivia for you you know as you're always asking me
I am
Was I in
00:06:07
Hotel Transennsylvania that was a animated movie
mhm
it It's a very cute
00:06:14
funny movie i play the invisible man but obviously it's about Dracula sandler played
00:06:20
Dracula selena Gomez is Yeah
there's the mummy there's all these people
i was in
00:06:27
it
oh you were what did you do i did a voice but my voice I think I didn't think I did a a character i think I was
00:06:33
just "Hey guys how you doing?" I don't remember the part that I did but I know I was in the booth
doing
00:06:40
trans yeah h interesting title
00:06:46
what are you anti- are anti- shorten it up you're
Yeah the mummy we
00:06:53
don't know what the mummy is okay so um so the the the the trivia was we've done
00:07:00
four maybe we'll do five i hope we do another one there's some whispers it would be fun i think they do a good job
00:07:05
with them
so if they do well why not that seems like all they do is remakes anyway so um Oh yeah so
00:07:14
if I saw Miley mention this that Miley Cyrus was the lead girl in it not Selena
00:07:21
and that was early on uh very early on our first table read was Miley and she
00:07:28
had just done the thing
what was it she had a penis shaped cake at a party for
00:07:34
her birthday and you know she was going through that like MTV
00:07:40
she what
it was I think she gave it to a boyfriend
oh she gave it to a guy anyway there she was in the same photo with a
00:07:45
wiener cake and then and then also she was sticking her rump can I say that
out
00:07:52
when she was at the MTV Awards with Robin Thick it was sort of that era
oh I
00:07:58
remember that it was like one of the first live TV twerkings is that what the kids call it
something like that yeah
00:08:04
yeah but she she she stuck her bottom out you know
yeah she did
she she stuck
00:08:10
her fanny out you know and she wiggled it around and then Mr robin Wright Mr
00:08:16
thick came in and sort of jiggled around himself then they weren't too cool
it
00:08:21
was some grinding
paul McCartney on the podcast for
I thought that was Paul McCartney it was
00:08:28
uh so so Miley with the first read through was with Miley and so we had everybody at Sony Amy Pascal I think was
00:08:36
the boss and Miley was stuck on the 405 and I remember there was already a
00:08:41
slight grumbling of like uh oh this is a full-on kids movie we're spending so much money on this
oh
and after the read
00:08:49
through I heard she was replaced with Selena that's interesting wait was that related
00:08:55
to the twerking thing
i think they said "This is such a kids movie we We can't
00:09:00
have that out."
Oh the twerking thing got her cancelled from the cartoon family movie
on the penis
i think Miley
00:09:08
Yeah blames on the penis cake also I don't think it helped that she was late for the read through because it was very
00:09:17
frustrating
no that that's not her fault i think she's a hell of a talent i'll
00:09:23
put it that Oh she's great i love
She could do whatever she want she could do whatever she wants
but you know I mean
00:09:29
what guy And I'll ask you this you know we're always being funny and everything but uh would you like someone
00:09:36
to give you a penis cake for your birthday i like that we joke around but this is a
00:09:42
serious question
what was that was my faint i wouldn't want you to you'll take one
00:09:49
Heather
no I'm listening cuz your birthday's coming up oh so this has become now informational
00:09:56
for Heather about what to get you for your birthday so you have five seconds before this podcast
i'm going to pass on
00:10:02
the penis cake but I will take some twerking and uh maybe Robin Wright can
00:10:08
come by whoever it was Robin Thick
no Robin Thick
yeah Robin
00:10:15
Thick can come by robin Wright can come by robin White it was Jenny and Forest Gump
00:10:24
she really screwed over
can we get Miley Cyrus now I feel like having her on on our podcast especially to talk about
00:10:30
this
yes this is a big story and also she I just saw her singing um Look What
00:10:37
You've Done to My Song Ma you remember that old song she sings it with the real girl that sings it and she's unreal
and
00:10:44
she sings Like a Prayer live with a cowboy hat on and she's so great so
I
00:10:50
like the Wrecking Ball one when she was on a Wrecking Ball going back and forth i thought that was pretty cool
she's got
00:10:56
a Stevie
saw that somehow
i did i saw it on MTV or something but she has a husky
00:11:04
feminine voice like Stevie Nicks and it's very um you know alluring it's very
00:11:10
cool
very good yeah
so
anyway that's a
00:11:16
really really hot story everyone's no one's talking about it except
I want to say two things one is
yes two two quick
00:11:23
things one is I feel like
just by looking around and feeling the vibe that
00:11:30
summer is here officially
yes
it feels like summer has arrived spring is gone
00:11:36
and so now we're into the summer of 2025 and I'm just going to declare this and
00:11:42
you can say or Heather can weigh in but I'm just calling it
this is controversial david a David Spade it's
00:11:48
the David Spade summer oh
I want you it's the David Spade
00:11:54
summer there's no fresh
on you
there's no way that can't trend uh yes the David
00:12:01
Spade summer is blowing up racking up numbers i will say my hair is
00:12:09
frizzier i just put some toothpaste in or something but it it really gets the frizzies it's doing a real number on my
00:12:16
hair cuz it's hot and humid in LA i'm going to Arizona where it's hot and
00:12:21
humid shockingly humid now cuz it's not supposed to be and then ABQ Albuquerque
00:12:26
so hopefully I'll get through it because it's really And Heather's going to come on these and uh it's tough to do these
00:12:34
gigs when you're just biling and I don't want to crank the AC at night this is a real strong stance i have
I know well
00:12:40
that is the issue with you you don't like cold air shot into your face i don't like blowing air in my face i
00:12:46
don't like it in the car i don't like the vents in my grill at the restaurants uh so that is a problem for me but other
00:12:53
than that I think we're going to get through i remember summer in Arizona walking in shorts i would walk easily a
00:12:59
mile when it's 110 i didn't care and really no sunscreen little to no
00:13:05
sunscreen we're hearing some bad reports on sunscreen anyway um sunscreen can be a trick like "Oh gee
00:13:13
I'm going to keep my skin young and put on all this sun cream." And then you don't realize it sweats off you go in
00:13:20
the pool or the ocean it's off and you've and you've had a couple Budweisers and you forget to reapply and
00:13:27
then you're a lobster the next day in pain i say "Put a big mofo hat take the
00:13:33
whole equation out of the be in the shade." You want me to write this down or you're
00:13:39
hoping you're gonna remember it no just CC me on it but I will say that um
I
00:13:45
want to talk about your hair no everyone hates it
i was frizzy pining
00:13:52
and peacocking during the podcast and I'm not guarantee
00:13:59
I'm going to talk to the audience about this second
yeah he was pining quite a bit
yeah I know i was You pin too don't
00:14:07
you you're not totally excluded from
I can't look for anyone who doesn't do a podcast
00:14:13
understand i'm I don't do this i'm staring at a video of myself david's
00:14:19
right next to me for an hour and so you're like "Oh what's that what do I look what oh it's got my hair."
You're
00:14:25
thinking of stories but in your head you're just going "Gross gross gross gross." So that's what we see you know
00:14:32
with after my birthday I'm in the I'm in this low expectation business you know
00:14:38
then I look at my birth certificate and I go damn I look great but if I think I'm 28 I would check myself into a
00:14:45
hospital
your hair is good and tassled um I will say I didn't have Wi-Fi for a
00:14:51
full day last week i didn't call you i didn't say anything i wasn't going to make a big deal about it because there's
00:14:56
people in other countries that don't have Wi-Fi for a day sometimes so I said
00:15:02
"Well
I guess I'm blessed." But you know what the Spectrum they're stealing all
00:15:07
the copper wiring out of these places and uh it's it's screwing up Wi-Fi for
00:15:12
days not just for Oh we had a problem it's like they're ripping these things apart
hey man
you know copper wire is a
00:15:19
big like sort of thing
valuable valuable thing i would just say love them or hate
00:15:25
them elon Musk just launched another 30 Starlink satellites he's got
Give me
00:15:31
some Starink
that's That's what I get my Wi-Fi is all from uh Elon Musk thank you
00:15:39
when I'm on flight have you noticed maybe I've said this before i get on a goddamn flight and I'm
00:15:47
sorry about the rock at the farm but I'm glad you survived uh called that on a flight
exciting
it's excellent
00:15:56
yeah yeah it looks like a jellyfish it was two nights ago uh and it was right at dust so the light was hitting it this
00:16:03
It was cool
i'd never seen it before no it was crazy it was crazy it was crazy cool
so
00:16:12
when I got on a flight and they go "Oh you know how you buy Wi-Fi on a plane i had a cross country flight i buy Wi-Fi
00:16:19
not a problem take your credit card bounce it down to Earth yep got your money now let me get on a site uh no the
00:16:27
in It's real bad up here it's real bad we're in a bad patch really we were in a bad patch for 5 hours i go I've gotten
00:16:34
on two websites it's taken me I can't watch anything i can't watch any video they go "Yeah it's a little spotty." I
00:16:39
go "Spotty no no I can't get it." And they go "Yeah." I go "How do they get my
00:16:44
money?" That Wi-Fi work worked just fine oh here's your money here's your 20 bucks for Wi-Fi the whole flight that
00:16:51
worked bounced down now the Wi-Fi is exhausted that's all I can do today i'm out and now I'm like this
are you
00:16:58
standing in the galley next to the flight attented and everyone's looking off going
00:17:04
here's what they do to plate me they go "Oh sometimes you turn it on turn off." And
00:17:11
I go "Uhuh i've heard that bullshit." So I do that naturally it doesn't work at all then they go "We told the pilot
00:17:17
we're going to flick the Wi-Fi on and off and restart it and rejigger it so you should be." And then about an hour
00:17:24
later I go "Yeah it hasn't done jack shit." And they go "Yeah we're landing soon can you buckle up?"
Well that's
00:17:30
they say at the very end I'm so sorry you didn't get Wi-Fi it never really worked on the flight and also our
00:17:37
landing gear is being a little itchy so we might circle for a while
yeah and
00:17:43
then they go "We're getting Starlink." I go "Get it what's the decision get it."
00:17:49
Hey I'm going to be honest i'm not going to play games here i I have officially
00:17:54
punted on the notion i I know I'm never going to get Wi-Fi
00:18:01
again i think maybe five six years ago you you could get Wi-Fi no I But but this is cuz I don't really like flying
00:18:08
if I have a 5 hour flight I go geez after we get to a comfortable altitude I'll try to get Wi-Fi multiple credit
00:18:14
cards back and forth back and forth so the time we land it occupies my brain i don't assume I'm ever going to get Wi-Fi
00:18:20
that's good just to try to figure it out just just the puzzle of how is it going to [ __ ] with me and put in the code no
00:18:26
and then go again and you put in all your exact credit card nope nope nope fill in this field apple turns red
00:18:34
what's your real birthday well that is my birthday yeah so
no no one's that old
00:18:39
try again you're like "Oh no come on." [Music]
00:18:52
Dana I'm a little bit of a a spendy Suzie if you know what I mean
a a boozy Suzie and a spendy Suzie
i'm more of a
00:18:59
boozy Susie but yeah
yeah you are you are a spendy spender yeah and a lot of our uh listeners are nice enough to
00:19:04
write in and say "You look like you drank a lot and slept on your face." But that's just constructive criticism
well
00:19:11
it's very concise and uh you don't really drink very much i'll tell the fans but
just puffy uh this is where CLA
00:19:19
comes in cla is your everyday smarter spending partner which is what a lot of
00:19:25
people need a lot of my friends definitely need it
it allows you to make smarter decisions with your money and
00:19:30
it's sometimes good to have a partner like that and
I'll say it again clara which I I assume is Swedish cla is your
00:19:38
smarter everyday spending partner shoppers can use CLA's paying for product to split their purchase into
00:19:44
four interest free payments
that's right here's some key takeaways listen up brother clara offers a paying for
00:19:51
product where you don't have to pay interest i think that's a good thing you can pay with CLA at merchant checkout uh
00:19:57
in the CLA app or with the CLA card
you can also compare prices at your favorite
00:20:03
stores and earn cash back when you shop in the app
they're making it effortless for inapp shoppers to get more value
00:20:09
from every purchase so
choose CLA at your favorite retailers or shop now at clarna.com
00:20:16
ca resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California finance law license nmls number 1353190
00:20:26
clara balance account required clara may get a commission limitations terms and
00:20:32
conditions apply i'm just
I'm just going to say it it's a CLA summer it's just an
00:20:38
old trick i do want to say one thing this is again very quickly but I want to nominate Mission Impossible The Last
00:20:46
Wrecking for best pitcher best director and especially Tom Cruz for best
Wow
00:20:53
Dana
i put it out there i loved it i thought it was an amazing film uh and I
00:21:00
saw it in a a pack theater by the way people do like this snack i'm not used to that i I haven't been in theater in a
00:21:06
while but they come in and it's like I don't know i mean this I mean like 10
00:21:13
gallons of corn is a jumbo milk duds go in a jumbo milk duds the smallest
00:21:19
CocaCola you could get on ice
Yeah
was 32 oz and that was a small I couldn't
00:21:24
even lift it and it's like but anyway 32 o is a lot
is perfect
00:21:32
yeah ask me
i have a critique and you tell me now that you've seen it
00:21:37
this doesn't really give anything away okay well
when No it does no it doesn't
00:21:44
really the submarine scene could it have been chopped in half
00:21:50
no
wow no the movie
wow
when you He's It's in
00:21:57
the trailer when he jumps out of a helicopter going 100 miles an hour 20 ft off the ocean surface he just jumps in
00:22:03
in his street clothes into the middle of the ocean
where it's at minus 300° the movie takes off from there if if you
00:22:10
want to be nitpicky you could maybe say and I'm sure they thought about try to get maybe 15
00:22:17
out of the first act into the second act maybe but it when a movie is supposed to
00:22:24
be like wmp w we get it can we get to the end it took off and the submarine
00:22:29
set piece is brilliant and it keeps escalating for all you screenwriters out
00:22:36
there just like "Well we know he's going to get out." And then they convince you he's not going to get out
yeah you know
00:22:41
you have to say literally everything went wrong for him in the submarine and literally the whole movie everything
00:22:47
goes wrong like
everything goes wrong every second
yep
and then when he's on the plane which you've seen on the
00:22:53
poster
mhm uh he's flying
that was It had two
00:22:58
minutes for a bomb to blow up and he's up there for 35 on the wing i'm like well it should be roughly the same time
00:23:05
as how long we have
well one thing was great he wasn't just in a city sprinting
00:23:11
to get away from bullets for maybe 100 yards he would just suddenly need to go somewhere and there was no car or
00:23:17
airplane and they show him just sprinting and then another shot of him sprinting like he's running a 4-minute
00:23:22
mile but I still would like to know but Tom Cruz if he feels like it Tom come on
00:23:28
the podcast we'd love to uh talk about how brilliant
I won't say my critiques i'll just talk about how brilliant
well
00:23:36
I don't I don't really have any issues with it i was just I was just But you love it i
didn't see it i thought you
00:23:42
told me you didn't see it
no Dana that's how I knew he was in that submarine and also when he when his stuff ripped off
00:23:48
and he's swimming I'm like
"How are you swimming?" I can't say more cannot say anything
00:23:54
else
no no no all you do All you do is just take the ride and what they did at the end which they did
this is a right
00:24:00
of course of course go ahead
they did it in Top Gun and they did it in you know
00:24:05
Roman Holiday in 1952 the last 10 minutes is music with no dialogue
00:24:12
wrapping up the emotional arc of the movie if you notice all the characters are coming together and that you know
00:24:19
I'm going "Okay I'm not going to tear up." Okay it's just a stupid movie i'm not going to tear up and then next thing
00:24:25
I know I don't want I don't want my wife to know so I got I got something in my eye honey
00:24:34
so sitch well also the beginning audience
did you
00:24:40
know they went back to the a to the beginning and said
"We have to do this sort of intro to explain things because
00:24:47
people were going we don't quite get it." And so which understandably you do test screenings
00:24:52
and you go "What do you get what do you not get they went back explained it you're off on the Everyone's off
i told
00:24:59
cuz there's some people were visiting us and my wife and I I
I looked it up on
00:25:04
Wikipedia because I don't like being confused so if you don't want to be
00:25:10
people don't listen for 10 seconds but I told them there's an AI called the entity it's going to take over the world
00:25:17
basically got to stop it you have to get these two things the poison pill and whatever the akapaka which is in a
00:25:24
submarine from the movie before and they have to connect that's all you need to know and then you don't have to get all
00:25:29
wound up who's that guy and what's going on so I say it make they said it made the movie better because they weren't
00:25:35
trying to you know figure out
okay I'll make a big jump here because we're running in time we we stories last week
00:25:42
well last week we didn't do stories we're going to do stories
okay
we're gonna do stories from the world this is
00:25:48
first is is this basketball story okay so this scene I don't watch WNBA that
00:25:53
much but I know Caitlyn Clark gets roughed up all the time and they have to stop this i mean almost like stop the
00:26:00
WNBA and reset and go what are we doing to our starst star beyond belief player
00:26:06
okay let's watch this so Kayn Clark
has the ball she gets pushed she gets punched we're going to show it to you
00:26:14
basically she gets pushed in the eye she gets something in her eye maybe
00:26:20
that's not intentional but then the girl kind of hits her then while she's trying to get something out of her eye then the other girl plows her down
it's un Yeah
00:26:28
the ball's dead and then the girl laughs that [ __ ] should okay push
punch in
00:26:34
the face
holds her eye and then Okay from this side push and then the
punch
00:26:41
in the face eye something's in my eye again knock fully knocked over that should be
00:26:48
a bench clearing ball brawl that should be every every one of her teammates
00:26:54
should be pummeling the other team i don't care who's who just start fighting i mean Caitlyn did defend herself kind
00:27:00
of pushed a little bit i don't know if it was
well I think Sophie Cunningham came back is at the game she came back
00:27:05
and
tried to foul this girl but
it wasn't enough it was nice it was not
00:27:11
enough you need a full battle royale well there seems to be a pattern
00:27:17
that she's the best player in the WNBA the best they've seen in a while she's lifted the entire league we've talked
00:27:23
about this before
yeah and they can't stand her
human nature is sort of I guess envy or whatever comes up and also
00:27:31
you know I mean
I don't want to accuse anyone of doing anything but a lot of times you know they want to kill the
00:27:37
quarterback right
yeah so and also why the teammates why didn't
00:27:43
the teammate why wasn't
Where are the teammate they need to beat the [ __ ] they need to lose a fight just fight just go
00:27:49
in there and fight everyone because you cannot have your star getting hurt and she just got back from being hurt so
00:27:56
this happens all the time if you don't watch she gets it every game someone checks her no one's checking Tiger Woods he's the best no one's checking Scotty
00:28:02
Sheffler like I don't think there's that much contact in golf as much as we think not as much but you don't need to do
00:28:11
this to her and I it was infuriating to me i'm like god damn and then they're going to kill the golden goose you know
00:28:17
what I mean
oh you do not
let's say she gets hurt for the year ratings plummeted 55% when she didn't play for a few games
00:28:23
contract across
yeah i'd say I'll take off
yeah that's uh that's that's nasty
00:28:31
that's nasty and they say the ref's job is hard but that one was easy you kick the girl out okay according to his
00:28:38
official biography oh I love this guy's funny i can't stay mad at him kim Jong
00:28:44
his biography he played golf
one time and this is actually pretty good stats
00:28:51
he shot a 38 under par and had 11 holes in one that's good danny you don't play
00:28:56
a lot of golf that is good
well this is just a AI fake funny story right i mean
00:29:02
obviously
I think it's from his real biography but I don't think this happened exactly this way i think he's
00:29:08
bragging and I think he's bragging even more than I do when I lie about things I do bragging so uh when I golf I don't
00:29:18
actually cheat when I golf which I should but I don't because there's no point uh this guy I've gotten one hole
00:29:25
in one and it wasn't 11 and it was an all-in-one game so listen he's out there
00:29:31
he's a real rascal you know i think he just he keeps you guessing well there is that idea that they treat
00:29:38
him like he's not quite human it's like a god right
to the North Koreans
um I
00:29:45
remember playing with my dad once and he always like say it's a squirly sloping
00:29:50
two and a half to three foot putt and he would just he would just pick it up and
00:29:55
go that's a gimme
i go I don't think so h oh Jesus Christ it's a gimme
00:30:03
a gimme you don't have to You don't have to hit me
yeah you don't have to putt it just give me It's so close i'm going to make it what are we doing let's just
00:30:09
Yeah what are we doing let's just Hey let's just move on
no Ray doesn't do gimmies he says just so you know if we
00:30:16
golf by the way he's like almost apologizing i'm a stickler to the rules
00:30:21
which just means I play by the rules and so if you have a
you know 12in putt you
00:30:26
got to putt it you can't because you can miss a lot of those
yes i was told
00:30:33
by a mutual friend of ours that that he said that David's really good
00:30:39
golf
told you that love it
love it says he has a really good he has good timing
00:30:45
it goes back and goes through and like you just tell him where to hit it and he just hits it so I mean are are
00:30:51
you better than you're letting our audience on or you kind of like
I think the the problem is I do play medium but
00:30:57
I uh I love it and uh it's fun but the neck I can't do full 18 anymore so that's trouble
who's good
heather says
00:31:04
I'm good
tiger Woods said he was good you know who's good oh Tiger Woods said I was good yeah Tiger Woods i should
00:31:10
show a clip of that
when I did my first chip he goes "Try to get it out toward that." Uh let's start with a nine iron
00:31:16
go hit it to that and I hit it and he goes "Oh wait are you good?" Isn't that
00:31:23
funny and they have two drones 35 people in a crew watching and I'm just like
00:31:28
this cuz Tiger's just staring at me
what a thrill i've I've I knew that you'd golf with him but just the idea of
00:31:35
having Tiger Woods advise you and comment on your golf shot is either terrifying or exhilarating but if he
00:31:41
says "Are you good?"
Yeah
yeah and then one time he goes "Uh we were putting and
00:31:47
he was apologizing saying "I hurt my leg i'm not quite back if we still want to do this lesson or whatever we were
00:31:53
filming." I said "Of course." He goes "I can't play but I can coach and goof around." And he was great so anyway
00:31:59
we're putting uh
he goes "I have this old putter
i've had the same putter for
00:32:05
20 years." I go "Oh is it a money thing?" Oh David it was just like that all day
00:32:10
we were laughing we were cracking on he knows
but he was fun got in a car wreck
00:32:16
the next morning i was the last person to golf with him and then he got in a car wreck and I was like I saw the car i
00:32:21
go he's he's
that's weird
he cannot golf again and then he did
then he was better than me immediately again i'm like dude
00:32:28
okay
he's he's tenacious with uh you know trying to get back on the tour just
00:32:34
he'll do a surgery another surgery he'll rehab it
yeah it it's like if I couldn't
00:32:40
get on that stage Dana I'd fight back well you were too young to remember but
00:32:48
in in any era no one has dominated for a period of time like he did even Jack
00:32:54
Nicholas it took him longer to get his 16 or whatever 17 majors
but nobody
00:33:00
dominate tiger won the ma um the Masters by like 12 strokes it was like a wipeout
00:33:06
it's crazy yeah he uh
he's got game
he's
00:33:12
got game he knows how to keep his head down
okay this is
00:33:18
we should This sounds too high this might be fake put in the comments okay California gas tax to increase July 1st
00:33:25
starting July 1st gas will go up by 66 cents a gallon that cannot be true 66 a
00:33:32
gallon uh already home to the most expensive gas in the country
wow for people around
00:33:38
the country that means we're a lot of places heading over six certain places I
00:33:44
see 55 559 for Supreme
so we're going to be close to eight it's
Oh he says it'll
00:33:49
go to eight if it goes up 66 cents
says it'll go close to eight
soon go to eight
00:33:55
yeah could soon be paying close to eight soon and close so it's not so it's let's
00:34:00
say seven but you can't do anything if this is true you can't all the things we do i don't want the 93 billion dollar
00:34:06
bullet train to Sacramento who gives a fat [ __ ] about Sacramento who's going on that train
i know i want I wanted trains
00:34:12
i love trains i you know cuz I don't like to fly i like Europe has all these trains
it's too bad we didn't when we
00:34:18
were laying down the I5
we needed to put a freaking get get Walt Disney he was
00:34:24
alive say "Walt we got a job for you have a monale."
Sure from SFO right up
00:34:30
over the grape vine into LA
sure not Sacramento and I Why not one from here
00:34:36
to Vegas they're going to make one but it's from San Bernardino i'm like you're already halfway there
well then they'll
00:34:41
they'll connect it in to your house
i mean this train started at a billion
00:34:48
when they voted on it now it's 93 billion okay i don't like that i don't want to pay more taxes god
I you know
00:34:54
I'll pay taxes i want them to spend the money wisely does that make me crazy where is it where's the money if they
00:35:00
would fix literally Fairfax and La Sienna they'd make them smoother i'd be happy shoveling money that just
00:35:08
disappears no one knows where it goes you go "Why would I give more?" Well I am i'll give more this year okay this is
00:35:14
a plane crash i know you don't like this oh this is a way to save people they're working on this sounds like [ __ ] too
00:35:21
if an airplane is about to crash for any it's almost impossible for the passengers on board
this is AI D
whether
00:35:28
it's business class or economy passengers are not given
economy is AI too i think it's all for
this is the
00:35:34
reason over 100,000 people have lost their lives in plane so far
but now this
00:35:40
could soon
as an engineering team is working on detachable airplane
00:35:45
technology in this design the airplane will be structured in such a way that in any emergency situation the passenger
00:35:52
section will detach from the rest of the later
after this with the help of two
00:35:58
advanced parachutes the passenger cabin can be nice and easy land service this
00:36:04
way passengers will be out and then you order Uber Eats
what do you think about this design share your thoughts you know
00:36:11
at at some point just take a [ __ ] boat or drive or train you can get
00:36:17
around the earth without it you know i mean Dolly Park
why could everyone wear a parachute is that easier and they say
00:36:24
the plane's going out if you want to run out we're going to pop the door you want to run out are you scared run out
if it has to be fast so you're just in your
00:36:30
seat you're like "Oh thank you a Chardonnay." And then rip car right out the door then you're What is the point
00:36:36
do you have to go see grandma in Hawaii i mean just don't travel so much i I'm going to punt on that one
dana I travel
00:36:44
too much it's sickening um okay next one that was good uh you know we learned a lot
prining peacocking here I go
prining
00:36:51
it's the best your hair has ever on this podcast
more Bball dana
mhm good
marcus
00:36:57
Cousins is suspended oh look what he does look what he does i won't say it
00:37:02
until we see it
he scratches his dick and rubs it in the guy's face what a
00:37:12
and he got suspended hilarious i think the guy got up and
00:37:17
look at this guy in the but flat wants to fight him this pipsqueak
yeah you can always act tough when you got guys
00:37:24
holding you back you know yeah I sort of would want the players to beat the guys
00:37:29
up because everyone talks so much tough [ __ ] and the players go "If it was any
00:37:35
other scenario you would be looking down and just going "Yes sir yes sir."
Yeah
00:37:42
the only luxury you can have is that tra traditionally NBA players are not good
00:37:48
fighters like in a brawl you'll see a lot of guys fighting like this their arms are out like this no nobody's in
00:37:55
like this
i'm like this i'm in tight yeah you're like that just tight i'm taking it i'm taking it right to the
00:38:00
back boom boom boom snap snap feel it boom boom and then I'm like They're like "Pull spade off he's hitting him too
00:38:06
hard."
But what if that was a kind of a mixed martial arts expert that just body
00:38:12
slam the NBA guy you know
I wish it was the guy that stood up i do think that's
00:38:18
a possibility would be great um also those guys in those videos where they
00:38:24
just touch your shoulder and people go "Oh." They fall down like like it's kind of those fake instructors that just use
00:38:29
like a force field
oh yeah and Yeah and a keto yeah you just like the guy flies
00:38:35
with you cuz he believes you're a human god and you go like that little tiny guy weighs 130 lbs just
Yeah he's like
00:38:40
eating a ham sandwich and people run at him and he just touches them
he's going like that and they're just doing like gymnastics and tumbles like as if
it's
00:38:48
it's it's fine it's a entertainment all right next one
yeah what else you
00:38:54
got [Music]
00:39:04
okay oh this guy throws food i think he's I don't know how old this kid is he
00:39:10
throws food at this old man's wife in a restaurant wrong move watch this old man
00:39:15
goes [ __ ] nuts starts beating up this guy he's like 17 18
00:39:21
and now this guy comes over what did he do he threw food at my wife this guy had some
00:39:27
crazy just a stranger yeah that kid was starting to [ __ ] it's
00:39:33
funny because it's probably too much but when there's so much anarchy out there and no one gets in trouble for anything
00:39:39
if someone's doing that there needs to be some regulating now and then like hey don't do that
someone controlling the kid and he throws
Well he's got his
00:39:46
whole family there no one says [ __ ] to him
and he just throws food at some woman's face i mean I was watching it
00:39:52
but I'm like "What?"
That's why the guy went over they said cuz the
and then slap the kid you could hear it you got
00:39:58
to be a little careful how big was the kid
i don't think I think the kid was like 17 but it is they're both going to
00:40:04
get in trouble for doing that but
yeah kid was a little young but you know it's just a world of like where's the parents
00:40:11
where's anyone just can you control anything
it's anarchy it's end of days man
00:40:17
there is a lot of that i do feel that did you ever see Clockwork Orange the movie
00:40:23
too scary
that dystopian world of hooligans
00:40:29
robbing and beating people you know people stealing copper wires with no
00:40:34
consequences
thank you people taking Wi-Fi away from hardworking citizens
00:40:40
that want to watch you porn all right let's see the next one
00:40:46
brazilian comedian Leo Lynn sentenced to eight years in prison for desri in
00:40:51
prison again oh I like it's under funniest standup this isn't that funny brazilian
00:40:59
comedian
mhm
oh eight years in prison and 30 had to pay 300,000 BRLs
00:41:07
that's like he made $6 American no they this I did read about that he kind of
00:41:13
intentionally went in and tried and just did I think a joke on a joke of doing
00:41:19
every offensive bit he could do i think it was one set
one hour but then over
00:41:24
time now he's going to prison for that one hour
he's getting his lawyer said
00:41:31
he's getting the same punishment as someone convicted of drug trafficking corruption or murder because jokes well
00:41:37
yeah i know in in in um England right now you can't say anything negative about anything that they think is
00:41:43
negative or they'll come to your house yeah the arrest you
and you can't
00:41:49
they're saying if you're from America and you go there that's what they want next
that when you get there if you've
00:41:54
posted something negative they can arrest you that's their ideal but right now they're just arresting people in
00:42:00
England for their opinions and that's where it gets scary cuz I look over there because I don't want everything
00:42:05
coming here which is sort of on the way it's like that's the test market what's going on in Ireland and England and if
00:42:13
it's troubling to me or it might be for the better but you get to watch it and go it works or doesn't work whatever
00:42:19
they're doing
well I'm I'm old school i came from a different place in time so
00:42:25
as a kid there the Ku Klux Clan is having a march in some city
00:42:31
and um no one bothered just had to sit there and take it signs and all their
00:42:37
nonsense but that's where I learned that freedom of speech it's a slippery slope like who decides what you can say and
00:42:44
not say and the tolerance is really where all the magic is you have to and let you can't yell fire in a crowded
00:42:51
theater putting all that aside
but just the idea of thought police uh George
00:42:57
Orwell talked about it you can't say and or think things and the propensity uh
00:43:02
from wherever you think it's coming from for control and authoritarianism is a very strong impulse just to control
00:43:10
the population so I don't like it but maybe that's me
i'm against it uh okay
00:43:17
next one
i will cut back your speech in a second [Laughter]
00:43:23
don't you What is this a lady robot she's cute oh she Oh this guy sort of
00:43:30
uh gets a little handsy with her with a robot even though it's his robot girlfriends waist right she likes it oh
00:43:39
whoa whoa whoa he grabbed like her hipbone
00:43:46
heather programmed this i I I don't know what this is is this okay have to ask is
00:43:53
this real i mean if it's a robot girlfriend
00:44:01
is this AI it could be
is that a real Well maybe it's just they're showing a robot doing that to show
00:44:08
how not to grab a woman or something uh yeah
i mean he shouldn't be rubbing
00:44:14
her stomach anyway unless they're
doing that yeah but you're training
00:44:20
uh creepy men on robots what not to do cuz they don't really know
when they marry them
00:44:27
aren't they married isn't he married to that robot if you're paying 100 grand to marry a robot
you should be able to
00:44:33
touch your belt line not lower though
the robots are here man
00:44:38
they're they're coming strong mhm
jesus will anyone have a job in five years i
00:44:44
don't know we're going to have to have universal basic income there's too many jobs are going to be lost in the next
00:44:50
five years so you will get a nice fat it'll be Oh I will get Give me something for one
00:44:57
thank you uh okay let's do one more if If this is a good one we'll stop
okay
00:45:02
let's see this is going to be good
no promises
oh this is kind of interesting this is you know like Lion Country
00:45:08
Safari people go on safaris
yeah mhm
at what point would you freak out okay okay
00:45:13
so they're in a jeep if you can't tell and a lion and they say don't move and a lion walks up you've seen these type
00:45:21
beautiful lion these are people filming inside i'd be screaming and peeing
00:45:28
all of you relax
okay all of you relax nope he's coming on board gorgeous look at
00:45:35
And they're just casually like we can get it
00:45:41
look at one at a time they leave but so cute though
00:45:48
and this guy's kind of trapped they keep telling him to stand up and leave
00:45:54
and he's kind of get this line would be so fun to pet if it wouldn't kill you but it's wild
00:46:02
but it's sort of the you don't bother me I don't bother you but I would be so scared
that guy comes and moves him
00:46:10
yeah it Oh that woman was trapped
00:46:17
okay so they're in a jeep the lion's in the back seat with the guy the guy finally gets out I think but isn't that
00:46:25
interesting like I don't know how fast my heart I don't know what I would do sometimes you know
big
have you ever had
00:46:32
a cat in your life you know a cat house pet
yeah sure and I often think like
00:46:38
okay here's Ginger the cat really cool calico cat we had
and it's like okay
00:46:44
what if Ginger instead of weighing 12 lb weighed 400 lb but I had all the same
00:46:50
stuff and sometimes we kind of like hey don't pet me there and cut her teeth will come out so yeah 400 lb 500 lb
00:47:00
young cats slap like that when they get mad that would hurt more from
Yeah well they they yeah they can kill you in
00:47:08
about a tenth of a second but who would win that
00:47:13
cat or a gorilla oh I was going to say that cat or me i
00:47:19
would win because I would strike first i'd strike first and then I'd say "Do
00:47:25
you want more?" I wouldn't keep hitting i'd say "You do you get it now who's the boss?"
Yeah
and then but a but a gorilla
00:47:33
I don't know i saw one of these look at a crocodile in a tree he was in the tree crocodile's
00:47:41
in the water typical hack
and then um he was floating and and and the alligator's
00:47:48
eyes are like here so he's like I don't think anyone's in that tree and then this thing just jumps like that jumps in
00:47:55
lands on him and right at the last second cuz it's got eyes up here turned a little bit so
00:48:01
I go he might have missed the lion might have missed where he wanted to grab cuz they both went under and then you see
00:48:07
the crocodile doing those turns they do that death roll
mhm
and then
00:48:13
the lion popped up and he swam and he got out and looked in i'm like "What
00:48:19
happened tell us." Never said anything no part two
no no part two stay tuned
00:48:25
for part two have you ever gone to a part two Heather and then you scrolling down and it's like two miles down i'm
00:48:32
like why are you giving me something from four years ago oh Tik Tok
00:48:38
anyway
okay Dana that was a good one to end with i feel What are your wrap-ups now
00:48:44
um Trump can be nasty and nice
yes we did
00:48:50
for best actor
okay
um you can't get Wi-Fi just let it go but if you want to
00:48:56
occupy your mind on a long flight just try to get Wi-Fi copper wiring is valuable i don't know how much people
00:49:03
want it
uh we got to protect Caitlyn Clark from uh severe uh rough rough
00:49:10
housing
yeah the the constant beatings right
and let me think what else I could
00:49:16
think of a
golfer and what
00:49:22
oh David's good at golfing
all right why don't I reveal what was in the bag in
00:49:27
case people
Oh my god Dana this is before we go to our whole new format and everything okay this is too exciting
00:49:35
people have guessed
a dandelion they've guessed Okay I'm just going to
00:49:41
say while he's going back there people have guessed dandelion they've guessed a lock of hair
they've guessed the G wig
00:49:49
all right put these on mhm
dana they guessed Oh you can't hear me yet
00:49:56
come on yeah untangle them for 30 minutes
00:50:01
okay Heather's gonna guess well he can't hear you yet hold on hard to put on headphones when you're under pressure
00:50:07
okay oh Heather's going to guess
we She's guessing a little doohickey like
00:50:13
this to make noise
okay
uh someone on online said the Gwig a bunch said
00:50:19
dandelion an old dandelion and someone else said
00:50:25
"You're old Vicodins from your operation." So let's see what it is everyone's freaking out we're like Mr
00:50:32
beast now with these freaking views we're getting okay ready this better be good dude
00:50:40
it's a rovatin it's a cholesterol pill
00:50:48
i said no one would get it it's 40 mgrams roastin
00:50:54
beyond that
let's see if anybody I'm going to go check YouTube see if anybody guessed that
look there'll be one on fly
00:51:01
on the wall so we'll have this
that was pretty good
00:51:09
you were right no one guessed it so that's a fly in the wall really
00:51:14
a stat
you know what i'm going to start everyone asked at once
what's a statin it lowers your cholesterol
00:51:22
yeah like Lipur and Crestor this a generic
you don't want it too low
i'm
00:51:28
going to put something in here that people would want that's it
okay
like a
00:51:33
G wig or something that people would want and that's what I'll do
when we do our next season
00:51:40
starting trailer drops Monday starts Thursday
00:51:46
so
fly it's called fly on the wall generally without guests and then
00:51:51
there's a fly on the wall that will have a guest no one knows what's going on
no one
00:51:57
knows what's going on
they'll just figure it out just watch
figure out what chance have they got
yeah uh well thank
00:52:02
you Dana for your time i know you're gardening this week and you're digging out there with the patunias
i'm gonna
00:52:08
Yeah do what I do best just hang out no I got a lot of
hang out and listen to my
00:52:14
voice text hey Dana checking in
00:52:20
okay go have fun and thanks everybody we'll see you next Thursday
yes for the
00:52:29
season premiere
bye bye-bye
bye-bye bye-bye
00:52:36
this has been a presentation of Odyssey superfly is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss
00:52:42
Berman of Odyssey Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman hope you liked it
00:52:50
[Music]
