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Our Guest today is Jay Pharaoh
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tell funny guy he was on SNL of course uh which most of our people are I saw
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him when I did snake oil and he was one of the guests now he has his own game show but that's just one of the many
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things he does uh he's really in there doing stuff he's got a lot going on he tells us all about it yeah six years on
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Saturday Night Live arguably one of the best in impressionist to ever be on Saturday Night Live and so we get him to
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uh oh yeah do he does his Denzel Washington and all these different voices on this podcast so this was a
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very loose entertaining thing he came to play and I think he was had fun I know I did yeah very upbeat guy we I apologize
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but I said we're going to hit you up for all these Impressions and they sound so funny and if you're listening to just
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audio he's got great faces to go with him but that audio I was just listening to it and that Denzel it's almost like
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you can't tell the difference yeah yeah so the very very talented Jay farell have a listen won't
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[Music] you you don't have to wear earphones on
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theil B I was I didn't have to smoke either but I failed that test [ __ ]
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I we kept lighting them and waving them around I I I wanted to reach through the
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screen to have a hit man he make he makes it look uh let me let let let me tell you this um his weed is very uh
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Rich it's very rich it is a that is $500 million I have made plus weed I ain't
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there yet I didn't I thought I was good I thought I thought I was good with going in to the dispensaries that now
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look like iPods but apparently I I ain't smok nothing I ain't smoke nothing so I
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got to build my tolerance up with with Bill Mah I didn't even know he's smoked I said wow really okay so oh oh he
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smokes he smokes but what what was the name of the Cannabis that it have a name
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like Jackhammer or brain damage or you know something crippled hyena um uh uh I
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think it was called uh Diddy house that's what I think it was called that's what I Diddy house yeah Diddy house okay
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dude are they still hassling that guy he said he was sorry I know just baby oil is not does
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not mean guilt baby oil means there's rashes with the stack baby oil baby oil
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doesn't mean guilt but baby oil with no protection means that something definitely was going down that's what
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it yeah baby oil I know it was it was crazy I keep 200 bottles in my place but
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let me tell you something a thousand if you're getting initiated after college I
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don't think you're in the right room it's like hey an initiation means you get to do whatever you want to someone
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and so it's like I'm 36 something initiated and the music Biz like come on
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yeah I I haven't gone there and um you know what I can say is the man has
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always looked moisturized it makes sense why he's so slippery now y he is good
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eye it makes sense I've never seen a crackly asy anything on P Diddy it makes
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sense now no oh no no yeah he is is Frozen in time he looks just like he did
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30 years ago and it's baby oil and they say oh it's something nefarious I go innocent till proven
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Diddy yeah I don't yeah it doesn't scare me but if you see so many bottles and
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you're like how fast are we going through these yeah and then cut to the 40 foot bed in the back like yo what the
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like what do you steeve from Blues Clues like what is going on I just don't understand it well at
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yeah at some point when you get say 500 700 million somebody in the room says
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Hey huh maybe we could procure young women and bring them to and you know and
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just brainstorming and then Diddy said you're a genius because at some point the money leads to the said oh like
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space said oh not only should we bring girls we should bring some boys too we should do that let's just right let's
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keep it even it's got to be it's equality it's it's it's equal on both sides oh yeah
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let's just let's I don't want to get in trouble for just bringing girls yeah also I saw a video because it's uh it's
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in my Alo so on Tik Tok always he's giving himself a close yeah it's funny
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Jay when you go like this so I go um I go they show Diddy playing basketball in
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his house obviously has basketball court yeah and then and you and you go in this wide shot and I'm sorry there's a bed in
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the basketball court I saw that too you see that I was like hm like this man was
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this man was just greedy with the but he wanted it everywhere everywhere it's probably you can't wait to go in the
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other room there got to be some uh there got to be at least a futon in the kitchen there's at
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least something big piece of toast there's a double futon in the
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dining room a single futon in the kitchen and just stacked pillows in the foyer so anywhere at any time within 3
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to six met he's ready for action I'm starting to have a quirky admiration
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just for the operation of it just for the the the infrastructure the planning
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the detail I'm not saying it's not evil but man they had some plans there was
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something something definitely went down and uh something definitely went down in the DM that's uh DM standing for dy's
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Mansion y'all see how I did that damn oh yeah that was good Qui quick with that I drove by his
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Mansion I didn't even know Dana I drive by it on the way to somewhere every day because I cut through the street and all
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the houses are big and some people go that's Mr Chow's house you know you never know people like Michael Jordan's
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mom lives and everyone just believes it for 300 years but no one ever said that was Diddy's house and then all these
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trucks are out there these news trucks and I go by I go hey what's going on here just so they'll w recognize me and
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then uh and they're like oh you didn't hear it did he it's a big [ __ ] show and
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I'm like oh that's his house you probably shouldn't tell me but I'm cool and so I go I will never mention on a
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podcast so anyway he was there and that's my big story oh that was great I
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I I enjoyed that a lot it's for sale for 60 million I'll give you I go I'll give you one three right
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now by the by the way non Seer Seer but back to the subject do you remember when
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Robert SM did a cartoon on SNL where the whole premise what just what what is no
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what is did he do oh really no I no but that's hilarious that's uh look at
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there's a whole thing and no one really knew what he did he a producer or whatever but now we know what he did he
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could have done Ambiguously Gay did he oh Jesus that's combining him okay I'm
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texting Smigel right now Smigel do it on the first viously okay yo can we wait
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before we even go any further yo yeah big shout out to Robert Smigel he's the reason that um he got the Stephen A
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Smith um skit he was the he came to me with that and then uh that's the reason
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I started doing that on SNL that was him you know what I mean so shout out to Robert Smigel man LeBron
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James LeBron James is the LeBron James is the best player in the league for
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Mario Chas needs to be locked inside of a inside of a closet without any arms or
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able to touch any basketballs whatsoever cuz he just he just totally terrible it just makes no sense he was a dear friend
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of mine that's what gets me he was a dear dear friend of mine you know also they always rag on
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him and then he goes like this he goes quiet I've been listening to what you've been
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saying he's resting he rest his rest his voice and then he goes in attack mode
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bam hysterical Rock had him in his old movie The Rock had him in his old movie
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no Chris Rock had him in like I think I hate my wife or something he was he was the other couple he went to dinner with
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and I'm like that's interesting you throw Stephen A in there I would say this whoever gets elected Cala or kamla
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or Trump or Kam Ste Stephen A Smith is the press secretary can you imagine that
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guy taking questions from the Press I I now I know serve you up J farell so uh M
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Mr Mr Smith what is going on with this Administration I'm
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not what's going on with this what what what you mean what's going on with this Administration I mean listen we're in
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the dawn of a new we're in a dawn of a new era this is a totally new era I couldn't be believe that it happened I'm
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totally berated incredulous uh Insidious and Leviticus that this is going down ah
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so flawlessly now we actually have a black woman in office now now you know you everybody wanted Michelle Michelle
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we did but you she looked at her husband and said you know you know the hair is not worth it it's not worth going full
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ganed off the gray so she just stayed away from everything and she wasn't even into it but you know the next time
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there's a president it need to be a president called Stephen A Smith because I feel like if I get in there it's going to be a lot of change I'm talking about
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change I'm talking about changing rearranging string endanger in and Power
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Ranger in you know what I'm at you know Bill Bill mcclinon from the associated press um sorry how about this
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and Molly you wore that yesterday no I didn't yes you did you wore something
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like it so funny oh I'm mistak Molly that was last night Molly you had you
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have something different we went to dinner last night about that nobody knows nobody knows I'm playing I'm
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playing playing we're all just making up we're fake scenarios P didy to Stephen A
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Smith to uh I wonder if P I have a lot of
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favorites I don't want to turn you into an impressionist no we got to give him a rest after this one then we'll come back
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give a rest and don't worry Jay this will be the last time you ever have to do these impressions for anyone we will milk you and then because it's too hard
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when I read these in your uh prep and I'm like God dang it I don't want to but
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we have to ask him but also Gilbert Godfrey's character in Aladdin is that what you said you did early on that was
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my first impression that was my first impression was Gilbert Godfrey Iago what was he the uh the parrot parrot or
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something yeah yeah yeah I used that to get I used that to get uh to get attention back when I was six that's
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what I used six and it works probably right so six years old you see Aladdin and then you get a gobert [ __ ] you go to
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the playground oh it's a killer dude I remember Gilbert Godfrey doing like a
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you I don't don't really do him but you go to a party and they just have a block of cheese and you know yeah I'm hungry
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and everyone's around the cheese and there's crackers and it's a lot of it's eaten already and I'm like well I
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thought he was so funny I Liv with him for a month my my favorite my for rest in peace my favorite Gilbert guthrey
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joke was if masturbation was a crime I'd be on death row I was
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like and and what about him as an impressionist like he'd turn around and come back and I I don't know do Rodney
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danger for their kind or he do Bella laosi
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orice he would just do these Impressions and they were kind of good but they were just very Gilbert and then he'll I like
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how he always rubs his face at the end of it if he doesn't know how it's gonna go he just rubs his face he's like
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trying good one I forgot about that yeah man he
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was SNL Alum y we here oh did you guys get you you guys you guys got your
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invites right you guys got the invite you guys got them already I got I'm your plus one Jay no you did not I really did
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get three I was like oh snap what yeah I they sent it three times talking
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50th oh 50th they sent it three times mine didn't have a plus one it was
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really I don't know what to say to my they said Dana I want you to barely come that's you're barely one that's it um
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you you'll be in the spillover room the third one the spillovers you and
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Victoria Jackson and John Lovitz will be in the third Jesus Christ you know we
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have we have everybody coming even Robert dowy Jr a lot of people don't even know he was on the show for a long
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time but for one year y'all and I told him it would never it would never work out and look at him now he's Iron Man
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it's amazing it always it's amazing it's Iron Man and then it's that thing of you
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get the Academy Award because it's Goodwill and they did did Iron Man and it's like a really good really good
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forgiven yeah yeah yeah he's he's you know he's done u a couple of things over
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the last years yeah that have um yeah impress the public in general populace
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yeah but he does a a serious movie then Iron Man then a serious movie than
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another Iron Man yeah I looked at him and said Robert are you just going to reprise your role of Tony Stark and he
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surprised me by winning an Oscar I didn't think he was going to do it but he did yeah my little baby surprises my
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little baby now he and now he's doing volcano man he's getting he's getting like 60
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million to play the human volcano that's funny volcano man a guy just throws up
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on you it's all super hot lava just your skin just comes off
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and it looks like uh Raiders of the Lost Arc yeah that's funny let's do that
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let's do that on SNL volcano man Absol oh God got an app that says volcano
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man's about to
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[Music] blow what about the spillover room at SNL that's the scary part like if you
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they go I'm sorry you're you're this way Mr spade and then you're like in a room
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and you see like some vague famous faces you're like wait a second where is everybody and they're like cuz we talked
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to someone in this podcast and they were like we never saw you I never saw you at the 40th I and we're like oh my God were
00:15:01
you in the spillover room they're like I guess there was really no spillover room
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don't invite someone if they're not in the stand just say but the spillover room dude the spillover room is going to
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be Madison Square Garden because there's so many cast members on the 50th oh my
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God six years of my life and I'm in the spillover room I just wonder I really
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wonder does everybody get does everybody get an invite back to it because I didn't see everybody at the 40th so you
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know I was there on the show at the time so I just I'm just wondering I mean I don't know you know I'm just you had a baked in invite because you were there
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yeah man yeah baked an invite to watch and they sat me me and Michael Tay all
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the way at the end on the side where the camera couldn't see us that was couldn't get you farther away couldn't get us
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farther away but hey we were in the building we were in the building you we
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in the building that can never take that away one in from one person away from
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the spillover and look and now look at Michael CH now running running over
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running uh weekend up Michael where are we sitting this time where are we sitting they actually have a new area
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too I just got a text oh what is it they call it I know this is just cruel but they I think it's sort of py it's called
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The Loser tent and it's behind the spillover room oh my god oh Lord the
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loser the loser tent dude I last year I had to read just to get into the spill over
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10 well I hope I hope I hope I don't I hope six season six season or five I
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hope Five Seasons plus don't have to go over there I'm just hoping you know I mean it'll help but no promises um you
00:16:44
we'll put you between Paul Rudd and Michael Chay it's you know it's the past meets the future meets ant Antman I
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guess the host would usurp the cast right the famouser host get front row
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yeah I guess so I I guess well it was yeah it's a wax museum last time when I looked out there it was just well I
00:17:05
think it's a concert too so that's that's going to be more fun but who's gonna come like who's gonna come who
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they gonna have I wonder who they gonna have perform because they had Prince they got they had Prince before last
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time I would like Prince to go on before 4 a. I don't think he'll go on this time but last time at the 40th you probably
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stayed for that I I bounced at 230 and they're like oh you missed everything I go well I mean guys it's 2:30 let's make
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some moves here when did Prince when did the great the greatest of all time
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potentially just guitar player forget everything else I like a certifiable genius just putting that in there
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because it makes me feel good you guys have obviously seen While My Guitar Gently Weeps where Prince comes in it's
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like like 300 million views yeah it's just one of the most masterful guitar but um what time I just this is when did
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he go on this is 10 years ago folks but when did Prince go on cuz I think I walked out at 410
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and then I got did I miss it was it I walked out in high five he's coming in I go give him hell guy I got to get out of
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here he he he came on at 4:30 and then after the end of his performance he made
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us all breakfast it was amazing he made he had a buffet he just yell him out guys cooking
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it up just a crate he just had a I was
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so sorry I was him cooking breakfast that's all I got let's go
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crepy you got I want you to sing
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it don't a that's
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what oh no let's go oh no oh no that a that ain't one of my main ones it's one
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of the it's one of the ones the microwavable ones that I do you can do a little snack pack for
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little snack little handy snack version of prince it works works kiss is a great
00:19:04
song that's also funny sometimes great songs are actually funny but that falsetto Rhythm and you know there's a
00:19:11
new dude there's a new D there's a new guy he's from uh his name is Tommy Richmond and he's from uh he's from the
00:19:17
703 from Virginia and he's got that song baby take
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long you probably heard it on Tik Tok videos gotta make it million baby y okay
00:19:30
I'm okay I'm the millennial here I feel I feel alone and I'm bailing out yeah J are you well no are you saying he's
00:19:37
influenced by Prince is that idea I would say yeah there's definitely some there's definitely some similarity there
00:19:42
just with the vocals you know they're they're really high pitched and really um uh what is what is it called groovy
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he's got groovy high pitched vocals so I I I I like it I'm just saying they um
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they sound similar it's it's clear that Prince has a lot of sons and May and
00:19:59
Tommy Richmond is you know you know I told I told you this Dana but I don't
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know if it was the 40th but one time with when I was just back in New York it might have been that weekend but but uh
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I went out with Chris Rock and he takes me out and uh and of course he picks you up he does fun stuff because he's like
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okay we're going to go here and then we go there and it's super fun then he goes okay we're we're we're going home and he
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goes oh he just gets like an alert be beep you want to go see Prince right now I said 'oh okay so then we drive to some
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nowhere spot and it's and they led us through all this [ __ ] and then it's a
00:20:36
front section and the front section is about 10 people with Michael Jordan in it I think this is it yeah and he's like
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he's kind of grooving and I'm like I couldn't not watch Michael Jordan who am I gonna look at Prince or Michael Jordan
00:20:48
it's too cool and so I and I tried to dance and they were all like Chris why is he here
00:20:56
why did you bring him and I'm like no no I'm cool I'm one of the I'm cool I'm one of the cool guys watch this [ __ ] and
00:21:03
then I sort of got into it then I then Prince or uh Chris is like I you should probably go and I go yeah yeah for sure
00:21:10
he let he didn't let you stay for he let you stay for black hour he didn't let you stay for that that's crazy I kept
00:21:15
saying he's not doing any ones I know what happens in Black hour I just want
00:21:21
to know oh I I I don't I wouldn't know cuz you know I wouldn't I'm not up that late I've never been up that late with
00:21:27
Chris Rock You know what say so I don't know but I'm just saying that black hour what it's been rumored to have is a lot
00:21:33
of Blackness I'll tell you that just whole lot of
00:21:41
Blackness yeah man Chris is on it I will give it listen I love the fact that I
00:21:46
love the fact that Chris always uh does incorporate and and Sandler Sandler's the same way but they y'all always
00:21:53
incorporate you too Dana you do it too y'all incorporate y'all's friends man into movies and um I felt like even
00:22:01
Chris paid it for it to my generation because he put me in top five he didn't have to do that I got right that a great
00:22:08
movie yeah um I had I had I had about two minutes on the screen there that was cool uh but you know it was uh it was
00:22:15
fun man that was that was a great experience and and Chris Rock is a man of his word uh that's why that's why he
00:22:21
is go he's he's pretty sane for Showbiz like I think one of the things about
00:22:27
Chris is got a good head on his shoulders not a druggie not a big drinker he's just always thinking always
00:22:34
grinding trying to get something going so puts it in man he does the road he does the road I mean it's clubs for a
00:22:40
while then he does the tour and then he ends with the special but it's not that fun it's [ __ ] hard and he still
00:22:47
grinds it out make maybe Jay would find this funny like with this podcast we were at The Comedy Store David and I as
00:22:54
guests and we're going to watch Chris's special live I saw you I saw it Oh yeah
00:23:01
and then we're gonna dis have a discussion I never felt wider in my life Spade's next to me I'm I'm hanging out
00:23:08
with Kareem Abdul Jabar all night quizzing him about just so much fun saying did you have a peer in the NBA
00:23:16
appear he goes well no once will left no didn't really you know it's just that kind of fun but um yeah I'm not even
00:23:23
gonna lie when I saw it I said okay I was like I you got to he got his white
00:23:29
friends that's I don't know but he it was his idea I think Jay I don't think I
00:23:34
would have done that if it wasn't right from him and he said it once about two months before and I said I don't know if
00:23:41
we would be good at that I said I don't know I said listen I do anything for you if you want me to do it but uh he wanted
00:23:47
to make it more of a big event and then Netflix they were all like brainstorming what ways to do a live show and keep it
00:23:52
fun more of a thing and uh and we did it it wasn't bad it was just he's the sh
00:23:57
you know just watching him what's there to say really and then afterwards we supposed to summarize
00:24:03
it y'all did great I mean I know shapel was at home like why the [ __ ] they didn't call me son I was waiting I was
00:24:10
waiting for the call it never happened I don't know why I was available [ __ ] I was there [ __ ] I could have been there
00:24:17
son could have been there but they didn't pick me it's all good uh I'll be
00:24:22
working on my 17th Netflix special next year uh it's called Uh did he do it oh
00:24:29
come on I'm just joking nice you don't hear Chappelle
00:24:37
you're able to make yourself a smoker basically you got that I don't know if
00:24:42
you are but you got that thank you Bill M thank you so much Bill it's all the smoke really helped you on
00:24:49
that the ganja yeah by the way when I did Bill Mah I'm like I cannot start
00:24:55
with your weed I haven't smoked in a long time and I'm not jumping ahead to
00:25:01
this Vortex so I just drank Tios but it's a good good scam because it gets
00:25:07
you off guard a little bit because when I'm baked forget it and if I'm at least drunk I sound kind of stupid I go on and
00:25:13
on but it's within the realm of some thought but forget it if it's strong weed there a bit of there's a bit of
00:25:21
lucidness with's them tequila with weed you just you just stuck you're just trying to you're trying to put together
00:25:28
sentences and you can't I was I was struggling I'm just letting you know the struggle was real for me on that godam
00:25:35
show just let you know the the second you catch yourself going oh wait I'm [ __ ] Wast and you go I gotta pull out
00:25:41
of this and try to be normal it's so hard it's scary actually yeah and then I
00:25:46
mean everybody's watching you too but you know whatever you're a human being man weed weed weed shops now like they
00:25:53
look like Apple Stores they remember they they just look like Apple Stores now it's it's so weird it's so weird now
00:26:00
how the world has changed thanks Jin Z it's so weird how the world has changed bro well we used to have Maui zoi this
00:26:08
in the late 70s and you take a hit or pass it around now I see Bill on the
00:26:14
zoom and other people modern pot smoking is a giant like a cigar size joint and
00:26:20
and really smoking it by yourself like multiple hits yeah yeah yeah okay and then more hits I
00:26:26
mean it's how do you the fact that you got through it but can I do my one marijuana bit for you yeah yeah sure
00:26:34
what spad heard this one since we're on the topic why do people after they take a hit continue to talk so anyway like my
00:26:42
dad you know he uh he never really came to any of my games you
00:26:50
know that's kind of a simple one but it's [ __ ] funny actually it's so simple you know I can't believe no one's
00:26:55
that's so good so have it yeah so we should start an iasa podcast just
00:27:04
throw up and then interview people everyone know I one please and have it and have uh uh
00:27:12
what is it Westbrook have have Will Smith's company have Will Smith's company uh uh uh I don't know or have
00:27:18
Will Smith in the building too I don't know does he do it yeah he's yeah he's big on idasa bro have you all done it
00:27:26
I've heard about it I've never tried it before but I've heard that it opens up portals and and butts that's what I've
00:27:33
heard yeah Ron White I think was the one who went on and really got into detail
00:27:39
really got either got the shits or throw up you know yeah I got the [ __ ] when I
00:27:45
went to puffies they offered me that they said it'll really open up your portals I go sir I don't know if that's what I want right
00:27:52
now sir like a submarine Captain yeah cuz puffy going open up your portals private here's some baby and the portals
00:27:59
will be open soon there we go we're back we're back we're back to puffy back to
00:28:06
rning yeah permission open your portals sir oh my gosh yeah well I was is not on
00:28:14
my list uh but people really like it but I feel like people are always trying to figure out life and the meaning of life
00:28:21
and I think just one more thing like maybe this will make things make sense for me so I get that yeah fix me fix how
00:28:29
I look at the world or wake me up or I don't know but it's always a strug it's a heavy podcast turn very
00:28:37
heavy this after that no after that we could we could switch it uh we could talk about we could talk about the fact
00:28:44
that you got people who are marrying themselves and getting divorces that's wild that's true how the hell how the
00:28:52
hell you can't deal with yourself how the hell you expect me to deal with you if you can't deal with your goddam self
00:28:57
that make no damn sense to me Tiffany hadish I just don't understand I knew I heard that voice she
00:29:04
was on the podcast a couple weeks ago I KN yeah did she marry herself he snuck up
00:29:12
she married herself right she married herself yeah she married herself and decided to decided that uh it was over
00:29:20
I'm it's too much I don't know hey in the words of
00:29:27
nle Chopper which I'm pretty sure you guys don't know who the hell it is if I was a bad if I was a bad chick I would
00:29:33
want to off me too I that that's literally a song if I was a bad [ __ ] I
00:29:39
would want to off me too I would want to suck me too nothing freaky that I
00:29:44
wouldn't do yes these are the new these are the new uh these are the kids now why I can I'm a kid but I'm calling them
00:29:50
kids I'm a big kid they're little kids and they and they're just so salacious and nasty I I didn't know gu was I
00:29:58
didn't know what a GU was I know it is now it's a the GU is your tank your tank
00:30:06
that's your goo tain's finally getting some attention Jesus it's taking this long it's they're going everywhere and
00:30:12
as soon as the rights were realized by America uh they switched the name to gu
00:30:18
so now it's a GU it's uh is that right Ed a GU I did not know that you know
00:30:23
what they're calling the taint now Ed it's called it's called a
00:30:28
is that weird hey tickle my gu Johnny right on the during the commercial yes hold on hey
00:30:37
hold on Johnny hold on Johnny we could talk about this now n I'll be honest with you I don't know if I've ever had I
00:30:43
know I know some bad women that would probably love to like lick up on my go Eddie Murphy I got you well well
00:30:51
Eddie M mm yeah
00:30:57
[Music] how was uh Beverly Hills Cop 4 did you
00:31:02
see it yet or no no I saw it I thought it was oh you asking me as Eddie Mur be no just how was it as you okay yeah okay
00:31:10
okay no I thought it was uh I thought it was good it was fun man um you know it
00:31:15
it was nostalgic but it still had a it had a new flare to it you know it was dope seeing um seeing his daughter in it
00:31:21
also her husband was in it um and uh oh my boy Aon crocky got a little bit of
00:31:27
shine in that movie but I think it was it I think I think they did a good job man I feel like it was good now yeah I
00:31:32
never heard anything bad about it I I mean I've heard it was funny and uh [ __ ] to do a fourth one is tough it's a big
00:31:38
job but yeah you know got a great theme song once you hear that you're triggered
00:31:44
in a good way yeah and then you see Eddie Mur walking
00:31:50
down you know you're just in it's like comedies I mean everyone on the podcast mentions David's um Joe Dirt movie just
00:31:58
90s comedies that are just fun can I tell you something can I tell you
00:32:03
something David that is one of my favorite movies when the when the uh it
00:32:09
was when the porter potty gets knocked over oh my gosh it's just I no there was
00:32:15
so many give the whole movie away you already that was the best scene
00:32:21
no reason spoiler spoiler no reason to see the film it's so dude you and a
00:32:27
mullet you and a freaking mullet and the Innocence that that character had you were just rooting for him the whole time
00:32:33
man I have to say I partially the reason it worked I thought Dana was I was
00:32:38
always playing so sarcastic in every movie and every show and out of the blue no one expects to be a nice genuine guy
00:32:46
that actually is bullied and pushed around and trying to make his way through life and then people like I
00:32:52
think more people got hit like out of the blue going oh I kind of relate to this guy getting [ __ ] on the whole whole
00:32:58
time and then trying to still get through and so not to sound heavy but there is a tinge of that other than it's
00:33:04
just a goofy movie yeah but thank you bud I like to hear that yeah brother you know y'all Y y'all are both Legends man
00:33:11
I grew up watching y'all which is is crazy to be up here right now uh conversing as we look like we're about
00:33:17
to go on a R&B tour with these uh uh black shirts uh yeah I don't know who
00:33:24
would be the who who's Michael Jackson who would be Michael Jackson if we all went on we all did a R&B tour I don't
00:33:29
know it would be it would be it' be you think it's you yeah think it's me think I'm the Michael Jackson well you could
00:33:35
move you can move right I mean you could you could move like Michael a little bit I mean I could I could do a moon walk
00:33:42
it's more like a moon slide it ain't it ain't really a walk it's more like a slide or the moon uh the I I don't I
00:33:48
can't after that yeah you go that's the word I'm looking for the weed is still
00:33:54
sing yeah I think you could sing more than I could maybe Dana can sing too but
00:34:00
you all are closer in skin tone yeah it's true I'm probably the whitest of all three of us so I might win this one
00:34:07
I can win the latest latest Michael Jackson Bill Mah just texted me and he said the weed I gave J was called five
00:34:15
day are you serious maybe no I just made that up but that sounds good I believed
00:34:22
it I believed it Dana damn you could be a politician really you could be a
00:34:28
oh please people I've got some bad news I wasn't going to tell you to the end of the
00:34:34
podcast okay L it honest my shirt's green oh snap wall wow I'm colorblind
00:34:42
that's crazy I didn't want to be a [ __ ] comedy killer so I just played it out but I think we got all the juice
00:34:48
out of it yeah it doesn't I mean it does it looks black it looks black I know I
00:34:53
listen I go Dana usually wears a black shirt so I it's on me to really mix it
00:34:59
up and really pop and really try new things but I go here's a green shirt then I got on this morning I go I think
00:35:05
it's black is this black or green then I go it's dark green and then who knew you'd wear a black T-shirt then
00:35:11
everything they really flipped over the apple cart I'll tell you that Michael Chay was on this podcast a couple weeks
00:35:18
ago and he goes I don't know he saw my black t-shirt and he goes he goes yeah white standup in a black T-shirt it's
00:35:25
like just just a thing you know it's like George Carlin or something he said that's a thing he says it's a thing you
00:35:32
know I mean I gotta never heard of that I'm gonna wear blue on the next podcast
00:35:37
I think Shane Gillis always has black I think Theo wears a black T-shirt uh so maybe there is something to
00:35:44
this yeah we definitely should go out more lazy theater let's go to Largo and
00:35:49
call oursel the coconuts and just do like take suggestions from the audience H hello where the coconuts and just take
00:35:56
you know pop and a McDonald's or whatever and then we riff we go we're going to riff off this we're going to
00:36:02
hand out this list of pre-written uh suggestions just read something off that
00:36:08
and we'll do they call it stockr I used to open for impr improv groups and then
00:36:14
the next night they go movie style and the audience someone would yell Wy Allen then they'd all go yeah sure you it was
00:36:21
like that that's not improv that's I like stock proov I can do that you never
00:36:26
heard of that stock Pro no I love it stock stock proov so we should talk about your six years on SNL are you uh
00:36:34
what's your what's the first word that pops in your head I'll be yeah what do you think Barbara Walt I'll be Oprah
00:36:41
people first word the first word that pops in my head when I think about my six Seasons or
00:36:47
SNL um first couple words uh let's see here life a life uh and my SE changing
00:36:55
life changing man I used to work in burlin to co Factory so shoot oh you did
00:37:00
yeah I was it was either do sketches or do layaways I think I made the right decision I like
00:37:06
layaways I like that people are always shocked that someone famous did something before you're like well no
00:37:12
[ __ ] I'm just trying to do anything to get there like you stayed in a Marriott someone asked me once like I would die
00:37:19
to stay in a Marriott my whole I mean what are you talking about like they think we live here and like we went to
00:37:24
some kind of kiosk by the beach excuse me I get a ticket for six years on Saturday Night Live please yeah okay
00:37:31
thank you I really appreciate it it was it was a whirlwind it was a whirlwind
00:37:37
and you know listen every job is every job has its ups every job has its downs
00:37:42
but you know the UPS are ups and that's what you gotta really that's what you really got to focus on man you know and
00:37:49
uh luckily luckily I'm still out here and I and I'm getting invitations I'm
00:37:54
getting invitations to the 50th you know what I'm saying a miracle it's there's so many people that I won't be shocked
00:38:00
if anyone doesn't get one because just too many so we're we're doing good we all got that email I framed my email I
00:38:07
framed actually the whole computer I laminated my computer that's what I did I just laminated that's a goodidea and
00:38:12
just wear that just just on my neck just Real playing it yeah maybe just an iPad
00:38:18
size check this [ __ ] out guys you get that [ __ ] uh yeah I agree with you that when
00:38:24
you go into SNL like there's definitely people I bet you every day someone knows
00:38:30
you've messing up yep that's that is not absolutely and even if not even if not
00:38:37
on the street I'll get a I'll see a email or I'll see a a direct message or
00:38:43
whatever it is and I mean that place is an institution man and um I was 22 when I got that show so that was crazy it was
00:38:50
a little baby how long you been off 10 years I have it's been eight actually
00:38:56
it's been eight years who wait a minute now no eight years eight years I've been off for eight years yeah yeah MH eight
00:39:03
years every year there's a new X SNL cast member that is out back into Kate
00:39:10
McKinnon is used to be on SNL like at some point you're you join us as uh
00:39:16
Tracy Morgan just calls me a lump when I run into him he calls you a lump Alum
00:39:22
Alum I like a better hey you know because Dana Cy is
00:39:28
nothing but a lump that's all he is he's just a lump lump L lumpy Cy I call him
00:39:35
lumpy C say it is this what the first thing ever said to me uh it doesn't get any
00:39:41
easier Mr D in a very lowkey fashion when I met him doesn't get any does not
00:39:49
get any easier Mr D I think he had a fight with his wife at the time or something so you mean getting off of SNL
00:39:55
and going into reg real show world that's when he was just on the show he was kind of you know just sort ofing I
00:40:02
just remembered that I think I think he was I think he's talking about the workload and everything and and and
00:40:08
Tracy Tri Tracy gives advice he gave me advice he said you need to give them all um you need to buy them all uh White
00:40:15
Castle burgers that's what I used to do I used to give them dookie Burgers all
00:40:20
the time who's he talking about the cast or crew Riders right anybody yall think
00:40:28
exist I like him moving his head how you know you never seen one what about
00:40:34
dinosaurs you ain't seen dinosaurs either leans
00:40:41
back I told my grandmother about dinosaur she said shut up boy you ain't never seen
00:40:47
one I like after when I do a joke I go like this he goes back great that's
00:40:54
better youen one that's true I haven't seen a dinosaur I've seen we've seen a
00:41:00
lot of act outs from Jay I like it I know a ripoff this is not video Jay
00:41:05
moving in and out of the frame taking on these characters high quality bits high
00:41:10
quality riffing are you kidding me I thought I thought that this was I've been putting out all this extra energy
00:41:17
and this is only audio oh man no you know what maybe we tape it we give you a clip you know what this guy's a good guy
00:41:23
give him a clip I think I think so please well [ __ ] I was even thinking before it it started I go God maybe we
00:41:30
can clip him even though I look like [ __ ] pie but we should clip him because he we could wait a month and if you feel
00:41:37
like it you can um zoom in on our other podcast
00:41:42
Superfly where we just do whatever we want recreate we we do what we're doing now and then it's on video God look at
00:41:50
this we' love to have you sure I saw you do I saw you do Trump give me a little Trump do you do Trump oh my God yeah
00:41:58
they're eating your cats and your dogs they're eating the cats they're eating the dogs they're eating the pets they're
00:42:05
literally turning your puppies into Hush Puppies that's what they're
00:42:11
doing you know what you want to know something I noticed him and Lauren both
00:42:16
do the they both suck the air through the teeth you ever seen Lauren look at his when he's when he's looking at his
00:42:22
phone and you're in the elevator with him he's looking down he's like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:42:27
he does that like Trump does the same thing it's like they got oh yeah it's like they ate some food yeah food
00:42:35
sucking it through a straw yeah they're trying to cool it off and Trump's like Trump yes yes I was at a barbecue I got
00:42:42
a I got invited to the barbecue with many African-Americans they absolutely
00:42:48
love me they do tell you what I brought to this barbecue actually I brought the potato
00:42:55
salad and guess what there were no raisins whatsoever in the potato
00:43:03
whatsoever like part that's good you know he's kind of thinking maybe during
00:43:08
that he's kind of getting ready for his next thought what he's gonna say he loves a riff he doesn't want to stop
00:43:14
talking so he just he forces himself to do that fit in that breath because like that's when he can't talk for like a
00:43:21
second by the way no one's giving him the light at those rallies because he nobody's giving him the light literally
00:43:27
like what else is going on I'm like this is like when I follow guys and they get they ran the light by 10 minutes and they're like what's going on in the
00:43:34
front row I'm like no no nothing get off you're done anytime you start getting shout giving shout outs you you run out
00:43:41
of material you know what I'm saying exactly give it up for ladies we're getting rid oh yeah we're getting rid of
00:43:48
the Communists and the fascists and the moxes we're getting rid of the dog catches and the acrobats the Librarians
00:43:55
they all got to go we're going to get of them Sor no that's good that's dope the
00:44:02
Librarians the library the books the books are filled with knowledge that
00:44:07
doesn't make sense it absolutely doesn't make sense have you
00:44:13
have you tried Biden yeah you know it's holy hell hey my keys were right
00:44:22
here they were right here in front of me and now I can't find them where are the
00:44:30
keys Toma have you seen my keys okay they got to be
00:44:40
somewhere I timed out for 10 seconds but I'm back he freezing I like when he freezes I'm like
00:44:48
that was good you froze yeah he's buffering that's what's happening there we need to check we need to see what perent on he's buffering that's 76%
00:44:57
he's still loading up we need to we need to check he needs a fast charger stick a fast charger in his ass just use Diddy's
00:45:04
baby oil he it'll work trust me we'll see oh my God Diddy's baby or made another
00:45:10
appearance we got a we got a theme man we got a them for this podcast he does I
00:45:16
like when Joe just stares off and it's like you're watching a zoom and he froze you're like is it me it looks like he's
00:45:21
not moving what's and then he goes yeah and you go oh you're out of it yeah you go you froze like that okay it looks
00:45:29
guess what guess what and by the way the fact of the matter is let's get real I'm not
00:45:36
kidding around come on I can do it better than you can and do R thing it's a big guy guess I wrote the Bill I wrote
00:45:46
the Bill you know the whisper and then he scre yeah that's a good look he
00:45:52
definitely he definitely Whispers and screams but when he's this face that he's G he's thinking about it's like
00:45:59
he's he's thinking about all the racist things that have happened over the last 400 years that's what he's doing and
00:46:05
he's he's trying to be cool with it I can't believe that happened I'm sorry I
00:46:11
I didn't mean didn't mean for that to happen but uh by the way if you don't vote for Joe you ain't black that was
00:46:17
racist damn it Joe you gotta watch your tongue but it's cool yeah you're on The Breakfast Club with charlan how you
00:46:23
doing charlan I love charlan Char charl the god charl the god vote
00:46:31
for me all right bring that [ __ ] corn poop in
00:46:38
that's what we got to do he feels bad for beating corn Pop's
00:46:43
ass say what he feels bad because he beat up corn poop when he was a kid remember he goes corn poop came to me to
00:46:50
school I [ __ ] knocked his ass out knock me over with a CH he talked about a guy he used to beat up and it's like
00:46:55
no no one can find him this story sounds a little fictitious took him out behind a w wood shed be beat the hell out of
00:47:01
[Laughter]
00:47:08
him can I do my one Obama bit for Jay okay yeah sure yeah okay this is uh this
00:47:14
is Obama touring around and uh using nursy Rhymes to educate fourth graders
00:47:19
all right let's start Jack and Jill went up the hill fet a pil of
00:47:25
water Jill looked at Jack and Jack looked at Jill and Jill looked at Jack
00:47:30
and Jill said I'd like to be a jack too so Jack and Jack came down the hill
00:47:38
teachable moment it's a teach teachable moment is he said yeah nury Rhymes you
00:47:43
can run with it nury Rhymes and the thought how how Progressive that joke was I love I love the Contemporary sense
00:47:50
of the joke I would Jill Jill said Jack and Jack came down cuz Jill CH that that
00:47:55
was that that's that's brilliant man that that that was brilliant see Obama just told me that I was just being too
00:48:02
uptight on the show and I needed to relax I said well ain't got nothing to do with me I if it was my choice I I had
00:48:09
this character called Shak Obama way before that was the first that was like the first idea I had brought to Sno was
00:48:17
choco Bama and um oh yeah uh well
00:48:23
everybody stressing me the hell out because it's really just uh Obama's conscious it is literally everything I
00:48:30
want to say uh don't think it's not going to get thick up in here if you keep talking to me like that because
00:48:35
what I will do these paws are deadly that's right one two baby and if uh one
00:48:40
goes out the other one's goingon to knock your punk ass out and that's what's gonna happen because I'm tired of
00:48:46
you talking trash I'm sick of hearing it and I've been reserved for too long now
00:48:51
I'm busted out break out and if I break out I'm going to kick your ass and there's nothing else you can do about
00:48:57
because I'm from Chicago baby and I know how to box and if not I know Mike Tyson he'll come out knock your ass out too
00:49:03
because I can pay people to get the job done like like you it was that would have been that
00:49:09
could well you know we did Reagan Mastermind in the 80s with Phil Hartman where he was a daughtering old man and
00:49:15
then the guests would leave and then he was brilliant so that would have been great that Obama's very contained and
00:49:20
you know polite and gentle we'll see y all later and then behind the scenes it's like you know that's great you got
00:49:28
do one more I know you got we got you a little longer but um I have to fast with jell podcast goes by fast
00:49:36
because he's [ __ ] funny um Denzel Washington I don't know any way you want to try okay can I first of all say that
00:49:43
there's certain Impressions people do and your Denzel is in the magic category
00:49:49
like it it's it's not an easy one and you well anyway just do it but it's in
00:49:54
the magic yeah to fry cando doing
00:49:59
[Music] um Madden or he Ruden Morgan Freeman he
00:50:06
wound down on that there's certain ones Kevin Pollock doing uh William Shatner
00:50:11
but you're Denzel and you have so many Impressions but anyway here we are with the great the great uh one of the
00:50:18
greatest actors of all time Mr Denzel Washington how are you sir the face is good too already well you know I feel
00:50:24
you know I feel amazing this morning because uh you know life is good I woke up I don't have any video footage I have
00:50:30
to take that take that Mansion I gotta bring that back why do I have to bring it back because we keep on talking about
00:50:36
it you know why because because it's it's fresh material right huh I feel good but I tell you this if I don't win
00:50:43
an Oscar for doing Gladiator 2 I'm walking out with something I'm leaving with something that's right and it might
00:50:49
be somebody's mom or wife that's right huh okay pauletta gave me a hall pass
00:50:54
okay and if I get that Hall Pass I'm I'm going to smack your mama's ass that's
00:50:59
right yeah all right okay yeah my G my G that's what it is
00:51:06
yeah that's what it is right I met I met Denzel when he saw me he was just like oh yeah you owe me a lot of money negro
00:51:13
you know that right you owe me a lot of money oh that's right I'm keeping you hot I'm keeping you hot and you're a lot
00:51:19
taller than I thought you were too to you're tall pharoh and you got an arm on you right yeah you've been working
00:51:24
out what a stud yeah yeah God I love Denzel you got to see him how cool I
00:51:30
never see that guy it was at the uh AFI uh AFI Lifetime Achievement Award he was
00:51:35
there you know he was being honored and um that was that that was great and I asked I asked him if I could take a
00:51:41
picture with him I was like yo can I take a picture with you um and I kept I kept the first time I asked he had
00:51:47
turned around he turned around because Chris Tucker this is a real story I'm not making this up Chris Tucker man come
00:51:52
in this come in man take a picture of my take a picture of my son man come on I'm looking like God Dam I I was like come
00:51:59
on Chris I went up to a mat I said man I was trying to take he said man go over there talk to him man he'll take a picture with you man he he cool lady he
00:52:06
real cool man he blood tight peanut butter man he real smooth man he smooth so I W up I walked up to him and I said
00:52:13
Denzel I said can I take a picture with you he was like yeah you can take a picture if you can um if you can you
00:52:19
know if you can bend down you know I'll take a picture with you cuz he was sitting and I said for you Denzel I said
00:52:25
hey I'm not going bend over for nobody but I will bend down for you Denzel so you see me in the picture squatted down
00:52:33
like this and Denzel just got the face and he ain't even smiling he looked like he was just like I I wish they could see
00:52:39
this I know that's a good one he just had to live so yeah man yeah yeah I know
00:52:44
that look yeah ah he's great Denzel's one of those ones man yeah yeah he
00:52:50
doesn't he doesn't Chase it he's kind of mysterious still he's an actual real movie star in this love Gladiator that
00:52:56
really UPS glat you have to see the movie anyway because the first one was brilliant and of course with Denzel he's
00:53:02
going to be amazing because he doesn't know how to do anything else does he ever host or he never hosted right nah
00:53:09
he's never hosted Will Smith has never hosted weird weird will hasn't yeah
00:53:15
maybe he hey straight comedy guy maybe he must have been invited at some point
00:53:21
absolutely you know because he's Smith well will has always got the invite he
00:53:27
can yeah he can yeah you know he comes at his own yeah whatever yeah he's just
00:53:32
a free spirit whatever he wants to show up you know we'll have a hot seat waiting for him you know with a hot um
00:53:38
hour and 30 of material we're ready yeah we ready yeah we're ready 15 sketches
00:53:43
made to order you'll find that we're very we're very uh we're nice to our hosts you know we we we we take care of
00:53:51
you um I haven't finished talking so just wait a moment
00:53:57
um would you like some popcorn how long did you wait to meet
00:54:02
Lauren Jade do you remember how long did it take me uh when you're outside the office and they go Lauren wants to see
00:54:08
you right now that means two hours it was about yeah exactly yeah it was it
00:54:14
was a while it had to be it had to be at least it was two to three hours for me I
00:54:19
remember that I I didn't care I was sweating under my pits and all types of stuff I I didn't care man I was this is
00:54:27
freaking Lauren Michaels I walk in and I meet him and we're talking and um I'm
00:54:32
trying not to come off like Donald Glover because I heard about the stories with him and um and then three three
00:54:40
weeks later you know I got the job man first time that's crazy 22 what Eddie
00:54:47
was 19 was anyone else younger than 22 to get davs Pete Davidson was 20 and I
00:54:55
think Robert Danny Junior might have been 20 years old as well you know Mean Louise yeah I was 47 when I got the [ __ ]
00:55:03
yeah you're I'm 100 right now so I'm 94 but I I have eastwoods dermatologist so
00:55:10
you know eastwoods Eastwood Jay thank you brother and uh I appreciate you sitting with us you're always you're
00:55:17
always out there you're doing dates and stand up stuff like that you do dates and then what's the show you're on right
00:55:23
now I see the promotions for I got quiz well my game show game show I'm right on I'm on Fox with
00:55:28
you David I'm on Fox with you man oh yeah what is it called balls out or something yeah I wish it was it's called
00:55:34
the quiz with balls that's what it's called oh the quiz with balls it just I knew and it shocks me when I'm in
00:55:40
restaurants and people come up to me they're like release the balls and I'm just like oh snap oh that's right I do
00:55:47
people get the [ __ ] knocked out of them that's the fun part that's the that is so it's so much fun and it's such a good
00:55:53
melding of genres you got you got well two shows together you got Family Feud
00:55:58
crossed with Wipeout I mean you learn stuff and you have fun and you know I had been talking a fox for years trying
00:56:05
to figure out something but when that idea came I said this makes sense because I look at Steve Harvey and all
00:56:11
his shows that he got and I've been saying to myself like hey boy hey boy
00:56:17
you gotta get yourself some of this game show money boy he don't even understand cuz there's a lot of people out here
00:56:24
that can't host but you to be the person it like it's supposed to be
00:56:30
hosted boy that's what you do boy if you get in this Ellen Circle boy you gonna
00:56:36
be rich for the rest of your life boy that's what gon happen Steve Harvey made an cool I like
00:56:43
watching people fall on the show uh yeah no that's that just the mashup sounds
00:56:50
brilliants Family Feud meets white out and I also got my special that just dropped that that getting received
00:56:57
ubiquitously well man yo I'm so happy that people are taken to it I put it on
00:57:03
my I put it on my uh on my YouTube it's up on YouTube you can check it out it's called Jared which is my actual name I I
00:57:09
I really will um I really will encourage people to to comment you know what I mean I'll comment back I'll engage with
00:57:16
you man because um I really just gave it to the fans because I haven't put one out uh in like nine years I haven't shot
00:57:23
one in 10 years so and I got another after this that's coming out that's virtual reality that's already shot and
00:57:29
I'm already kind of I'm almost ready for the next one to shoot as far as another
00:57:35
another special of mine so I'm just moving bro I feel like uh I feel like I
00:57:40
had to get on the road you know because when you on SNL you're on SNL all the time you don't get the Reps in like
00:57:45
you're like you can with stand up comedy because you you gotta be on the show so yeah you know I had time you feel me I I
00:57:52
had time and um what came out it was a result bro so I just yeah people just
00:57:59
watch it man just just give it a look because it's really it's really a special that's what Chris Rock told you
00:58:05
YouTube is a great place to put a special because that's where everything ends up anyway I'm on YouTube
00:58:10
everybody's house yeah absolutely what Chris Rock say to me Chris Rock said to me you gotta make a special man you make
00:58:17
a special right you gotta make a special okay because if you don't yeah I didn't
00:58:24
do anything good till I was dirty man that [ __ ] are making normals you got to make a special you know what
00:58:31
I mean so I think it is I think it's special man so ah good job Jared on
00:58:37
YouTube j a r r o d or j a r e d no that's
00:58:44
gerro j a r e d on YouTube yes all right you got you got it all cooking man
00:58:50
really nice hanging out with you we'll see you around around campus yeah see around campus I'm here
00:58:56
I'll meet in the spillover room we'll sit together and Just sh we
00:59:01
all three in the [ __ ] spillover room oh it's going to be [ __ ] horrible that would be that' be great we'll have
00:59:07
each other we'll do bits back and forth until um until Prince uh Prince's hologram is on the stage because he's no
00:59:14
longer available we'll do that Holograms in the spillover room all right bye Bud okay take care J
00:59:21
appreciate it man this has been a presentation of odyssey please follow
00:59:26
subscribe leave a like a review all the stuff smash that button whatever it is wherever you get your podcast fly in the
00:59:33
wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Burman of Odyssey and Heather Santoro
00:59:39
the show's lead producer is Greg Holzman