00:00:01
okay Dennis Miller who uh is a really long time long term good friend who's a brilliant mind and one of the probably best pure stand-ups and I think you know
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because he did it six years and nail it every night the best um update update guy in SNL history I I
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don't count Kevin Nealon because he only did three years I think of him as a sketch player Tina always had a sidekick
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so I think Dennis is the best pure you know Chevy was brilliant as well but I put Dennis up there and uh he's funny
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he's fun to do Dennis yeah they've been Lively with update they get great people on there um yeah I should have tried to
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updated the current people are great I uh yeah and Colin Quinn and Colin Jose yes and Scarlett Johansson yeah she's she's awesome I don't know
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anything about the show she did it for a while okay okay started out in the whisper horsey
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movie with the Redford cat all right so Danny uh got me on uh the HBO young comedian special any help get me on SNL he's the one that gave me the famous advice before I went on at catch Rising
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Star hey spudley don't kill too hard it'll throw up the [ __ ] red flag I go what do you mean they don't like some polished Road hack I go oh anyway so wait I don't do well tonight and they're
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like in David Spade and I go so I walk up and uh they're just looking at your writing so I did it and Schneider did it
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and we got on the show oh Dennis was a good champion of uh young Comedians and uh
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he he's a good talent scout I mean he noticed the kindred spirit I think that you have some symbiotic comic uh DNA yes
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you're not a clone but yeah uh big influence especially early on and uh he helped Sandler get on too so he's and
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Schneider so he was a big help to us and uh here he is your boy Dennis Miller one
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of the only Dennis Dennis muscle Christ thanks Kirby what was in your tea that day all right it's called Miller it's not exactly the toughest uh pedigree you could think of it anyway
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when I do Dennis my IQ goes up but right now it didn't ladies and Gentlemen The Man Without the sunglasses is now going
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to say it's Miller time there you go [Music] foreign [Music] the Pennsylvania Turnpike and we were laughing our asses off and we do you
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remember this at all or am I just uh doing a Brian Williams I remember a lot of drives in darkness at night from gigs
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yes it just seems to me that I've been remember being in the car with you guys and all of a sudden saying hey this
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we're heading towards Pittsburgh we want to go to Philly so there we go that's my story folks
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we would get insanely silly in back of cars after gigs driving multiples it's like ridiculously I just always go remember we had that we both lived across the street on the upper west side
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and there was that uh [ __ ] hat who played the Jamaican uh bus what's that drum called where you hit a big walk in a ball yeah we had a guy playing out till two in the
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morning I couldn't say anything or do or bugs killing them you know all of a sudden's trying to lay there it's the
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one sound on the planet I can't sleep too I don't like any sounds those New York I
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was from Arizona just a sweet kid off the streets and then my first apartment in New York you guys are the
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Bromley the [ __ ] nice ones is that your pen two thousand dollars a month weren't you at the problems across the street on Edgar Allan Poe Street I bought a place there I remember that
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place how nice yeah I had these pipes you know the middle night they're full of steams and they go okay it's like
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somebody's hitting with the steel pole and I go I call my landlord I go something's wrong he goes shut the [ __ ]
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up don't ever call me again I go what everyone was that just the way it is I go the way it is there's no way to sleep
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it's like a tight landlord you know David does uh he has to have a scenery so you think about dropping you I always I'm touched by that with Spade that he
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has a Supreme Comfort watch him on Ellen are starting this guy is so comfortable and
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then if you tweak somebody like this this picture of Faye Dunaway is hanging a little tilted he can't even [ __ ]
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get out of bed in the morning but uh I was getting and by the way it's before Uber Eats it's before any delivery so I
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had to go down to like sleepies and buy a mattress and drag in three blocks up myself like there's no help at all you
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know what I mean your ancestors and the comedic kind of true Sleepy's that much but dropping these references perfectly
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timed I would drag it up and then I had to get one desk a phone and that's all I
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had like two spoons because they kept telling uh you know Lauren Lauren I might not come back the next year so I had to move in May and then wait and then about a month later goes okay bring
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them back then I have to come look for an apartment it's way more stressful I should have spent the money and Lauren
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would do the pickup of Damocles thing hanging over your head so you're like a rat on a wheel I'll do anything yeah
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mine was Whitney you know do two bad ones in her own coach so you were co-anchoring with Whitney 85 you were
00:05:58
there one year before me yeah with Terry Sweeney Norton Whitney Brown that was your first season I remember going to Lou Charles one night with Robert Downey it was a sweet Robert that was your year
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yeah his friend his young girlfriend coming we Shot Pool next to Luke's house with Sarah Jessica Parker she was like
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16 and I was playing the Potter familias with guys like that and Anthony Michael
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Hall right Anthony was standoffish Robert was the sweetest cat in the world we had that Randy Quaid yeah
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he's auditioning from militia roles she's on next week Canned Heat plant in his head 24 7. little free Man action on outside of Big
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Fork poor danitra who passed okay maybe last year and he's still with his husband who they were together then so that was lovely to see and lovetts of
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course and Smiggle that prick kids but he wrote that he wrote that last scene where there's a fire so at the end of that season say you lived through the fire again I'm not sure but they didn't
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say that that night the funny thing was Lauren runs into the fire went to grabs love it it's kind of brilliant I mean yeah it's a great joke but when you're waiting on
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a pic I kind of thought I'd get picked up but you never know the season was considered rough because Madonna came on
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the the first show of The Following season and said it was a dream or something like the last season but you
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survived it and thrived from Nora Nora and Whitney and John and John was the biggest Hitman John was the you know the John was a genius was um we're flying in uh to do our auditions
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and they put us all on this l-1011 out of LAX you remember that plane that had two on the outside too many inches yeah
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they were five little shakes oh huge yeah a little choir practice Yeah so I'm in the middle and I'm sitting and I used
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to love it so you know when you first meet John he's uh he's so childlike he's kind of elephant and we're flying in and
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uh you know when I get up tight I get so sardonic that I kind of drive people away as I look back yeah and then later in our relationship
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I could catch you about how much I love him but up front until I form bonds I'm so uptight that I uh I kind of gets not
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sour but just a little quiet so anyway Lovett's is uh going on and all you know John Jesus Christ Jesus Christ say hi
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pull his strength what's he talking about at this point is he on the show you're going in to do the show you're going into audition to audition and I
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say so John what do you do and he said oh I'm a comedic actor I'm in the Groundlings and I said uh so what will
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your audition be and he said I'll do some characters and I go what is what what character are you most proud of and
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he said on the video the the pathological liar so you say this guy lies incessantly you know and I'm sitting there thinking Christ it's like Santa gazelle limp on the Serengeti I'm
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going to feed on this cat yeah then crushes all of a sudden he I start seeing that thing and then he does
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dress rehearsal the first night and I introduce him as Tommy Flanagan the president of lions and he grabs me it goes well but he grabs me in the break
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and he says no no it's not Flanagan he says there's no other way to really pronounce Flanagan except for a
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pathological liar he makes the a log it's Flanagan and I said I looked and I said Jesus John that took my breath away I said that is such a cool little
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excellent or a vanilla or something like that oh this guy is sharp man you know you look at Flanagan you're gonna say Flanagan yeah he even had to lie about that and say Flanagan John that's great
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we had him on the show and he uh you know he really stood out because he looked different him and Phil Hartman
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too we've had these 40s things they would do all the time and his voice was so big John McManus live yeah that whole
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thing but for you like we knew each other from the clubs and you you probably knew David a little bit too
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before he got enough now David and Charlie Schlatter yeah remember and Schneider we used to go at breakfast at Jerry's Famous Deli on the curve out in Ventura sure you'd be there
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with like Tori Wells now covert went out with Tori Wells porn star was at Jerry's I'm like oh yeah she was like straight out of the
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porns like that's great and uh no uh no uh one time and I said to them they were also diminutive you know they come in and they're all like well Killers Charlie was funny too in his own
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way but uh he ended up walking with a clipboard next to Dick Van Dyke for four years in a hospital remember that
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diagnosis murder yeah so uh they came in and I remember I told you you should catch a show called tiny cops yeah just
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a procedural but everything was just like uh Jerry Orbach and one of those procedures but you all the props were
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made just a little bigger yeah you guys would whip up to a crime scene and people would say is that Stu look it's
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the tiny pops and hop on there'd be you just set a scale up so everything was done because I was like I'm waiting for Michael J fox to host for that one give
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it to us yeah come on search I did a benefit for Michael one night and he he stops two days out he's such a
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mensch he stops taking his pills two days out oh oh so so he to get the fundraising going oh my God that sort of be that's what an absolute Beautiful Beast he is so we're standing there
00:12:11
talking I have to process that too later because you know it gets people to go oh [ __ ] this is for real I mean it was
00:12:16
interesting blew me out you know you're like gobsmacked and you're also tearing up thinking wow this is a warrior they
00:12:23
fight this disease [ __ ] with the wrong guy and we're doing a gig and Jason Bateman comes in
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and he said hey do you know Jason I go no no I like Jason Bateman uh but this was before Arrested Development I just
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seen him in a few things and he said let's go say hi so we go off that's the first thing Jason Bateman I'm sorry this
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is an SNL but I'm just I love it I figure we're supposed to do sure so he goes I guess Jason Dennis Miller and
00:12:49
Raven looks at me the first utterance is hey what's it like to be with both teen wolfs
00:12:55
[Laughter] I remember when you got on SNL because we did some Club dates in fact it's it's it's an interesting story that I was
00:13:26
playing the San Jose Improv I think I was headlining it and then Dennis Miller I said who Dennis mama
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what so I picked you up at the airport in San Jose and you were my opener for like five nights at the centers on like
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a house of fire I'll tell you usually I was you know I had the lady I had some chops I didn't
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know you're the hardest to fall I have My Little impressions I like Dennis right away but I didn't pay much
00:13:52
attention there's another middle action every night it's I started I'd go up there and I go what is wrong you know if I didn't I wasn't watching his act you know what is wrong and I realized then I
00:14:05
went out and watched him I said holy [ __ ] so the first 10 minutes of my ACT I had to deal with you because you were a
00:14:12
headliner I mean you it was ridiculous trying to follow you yeah but what what struck me is when you got an SNL and
00:14:18
then we were hanging out and stuff you were telling me how emotionally trying it was being on that show and it kind of
00:14:24
scared the [ __ ] on me and then I got on the next year it's weird but I remember you just going honest to God
00:14:30
yeah all of a sudden you get the keys to the kingdom and you realize that they can
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they only have to come up from the desk and ask for the key they can just do that electronic cancellation where it
00:14:41
doesn't work in the door anymore it's all right yeah it's pretty fraught but you know what I was such a wuss then I'm
00:14:49
glad I got it it gave me rhino skin I know about you isn't that one of the best gifts I sent out like a rhino skin
00:14:54
it may be tougher for everything else in Show Business everyone who's talked about says that you can do anything after that whatever you want to try to
00:15:01
do but also I was telling uh Dan like I come in Dennis was my favorite comic I didn't know it in as well so I wouldn't
00:15:07
say you weren't my favorite comic but I knew Dennis and of his stuff and then yeah I got to open for him I think at
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Caroline's Seaport and uh great working with you you know and you said nice things about a couple of my jokes on my Kaja Google jokes or something and then uh now come on
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you know what my joke was it was pretty clever I said I I told my guy I did a police academy movie and I told my tax
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accountant and I go so I made no money and then I made a lot of money and then I made no money again I go is there
00:15:43
something we can do he goes oh the kajagugu proposal of uh 1982. I think something about someone that made money didn't make money yeah he went on and did one other thing the
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never-ending story that song where the kid sings it while he's on the dog's head that guy did oh
00:16:00
yeah so he had two big hits but he also you know he worked with Giorgio moroder A little on that and they became friends so I think he I think lamal does well now I used to watch my wife on that
00:16:12
video was a model when you met her she was a yeah that video is cool when you go back and see it's one of those videos that you don't they they have some sort of
00:16:26
loose narrative there but it's mostly just Lamar and Guy Carolyn in a nightclub it's cute I told you I told
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her Dana before with Lovett said first of all I wrote I I didn't write for you but I I you helped me get on this young
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comedian special that was before SNL and that right he hosted and he sort of squeezed Me In from five comics
00:16:44
to six remember there was only gonna be five but then you helped Brad and Griffiths helped and then uh so I got on
00:16:49
so that got me in Bo he was in the audience we've talked about that coolest cut away and then yeah there's our crowd
00:16:54
Bowie yeah and then Joanne Worley like Robinson yeah bending over uh and then I and then I get on the show and then it's me and Schneider and then uh you know Dennis is
00:17:08
like Giga spudley get a crowbar in there and [ __ ] kick me some update jokes don't forget about your boy has that been his consistent nickname for you because he always tells me Carvey yeah and kneeling is Sammy we will talk about
00:17:21
why that so I would try to once I realized I've totally X Out of breathing for the week and nothing got on then I'd go and just and and try to give Dennis
00:17:32
some crumbs with update jokes and slide him under the door and then herb Sergeant
00:17:38
Sergeant did you get my jokes I mean none of them are any good so we would try to write for you and I told Schneider help out Denny man he got us here we gotta throw in some jokes but it's hard to write for guys this good of
00:17:51
a joke writer I'd say the best I make my best yeah [Music] Dennis is pound for pound the best update person in history my opinion yeah
00:18:05
and also the longest single guy because I was looking up update host today and Tina always had a sidekick she was brilliant too right single uh yeah but as far as six years six seasons solo 120
00:18:18
shows down the the barrel and Herb was big herb you remember Herb's office is like
00:18:25
the Louvre of Saturday Night Live the Smithsonian yeah he had everything he knew I would go in there I couldn't
00:18:31
really write till around Friday at four o'clock I'd get scared and then that made you right you know yeah when I got
00:18:37
scared I thought you [ __ ] this up you're gonna be back in a club in Baltimore man you know what I mean it's like get get your head together don't be
00:18:44
whiny and right after I would have that moment I could write like a beast for the next eight hours and Herb would sit
00:18:50
there and tape everything yeah and write it down and he'd hold he took an X-Acto Knife and he cut out articles and hold
00:18:56
them up and I'd just flash on the article that's your Brilliance oh you riff about it yeah and he had like I
00:19:02
remember we were Belushi's uh beers because her bed every piece of oh how accoutrement and to feel inspired not that I was like I'm not saying anything
00:19:12
like John Belushi but you could sit there and put the shark on the land sharks on and know that sounds funny but it did remind me I was on Saturday
00:19:23
nights okay you better you better bust your ass here and kill man because it was uh you know the day-to-day of it you
00:19:30
guys must know it's like work and you know there were times you'd forget it and then there are other times you'd see you know George Harrison walking in the
00:19:37
middle of the night and you'd be reminded that you were at the locus of it all and it it would make you hustle because you wanted to stay it was just
00:19:43
too much it was too much to process I can't imagine people coming on now because we followed you know the
00:19:49
original cast The Superstars and then Eddie Murphy you know Billy Crystal and Martin Short Christopher guess so the
00:19:57
idea that for me at the time that I was on Saturday Night Live was insane so to deal with that pressure and score but I've never seen anyone in a room uh
00:20:04
write jokes like you and I know people have talked about it besides me like with the recorder on topics going when
00:20:12
did you know you had that gift because you you told me once which I think is an interesting story about doing kind of
00:20:17
your first stand-up date in Pittsburgh and inviting kind of local friends and stuff and it was a disaster but where did you get the idea that maybe I got something it was like as a kid or just
00:20:29
around or you know when I I started to and by the way I want to say that that night you never know about people do you you know you're talking about when uh people like jokes on this thing but when you're
00:20:41
sincere yeah I remember there was this like sun god quarterback for our football team yeah and he was the first
00:20:48
guy to have a sun god super B 440 you know muscles the rusty scupper's name was Mike menagazi Roger varwig yeah you have one
00:20:59
we had one super stud yeah and uh I just ate it in front of 150 high school friends and uh it's it's rough in a weird way because you're so
00:21:10
uh you know you're so like an emotional hemophiliac then about people approving of you and it went horrible and I
00:21:16
remember him coming up on the street yeah you never had the time of day for me or that turns out he he just we
00:21:22
didn't cross paths but he said hey uh you should keep that up you have something and I know that this is always going to be brutal for you that was tough he said but you have a funny sense
00:21:33
of humor you should keep it up anymore and I remember thinking um after that I got so much less
00:21:41
neurotic about it I remember thinking nobody has put a gun to your head to get into this no you could have been in
00:21:47
Vietnam you could have drew you know I I drew a number where Charlie had to be bungee and jumping off the St Louis Arch
00:21:53
for me to see any action but you could draw that number where you're you know all of a sudden you're with oh yeah no a
00:21:59
dumb kid and a March yeah but life gets a lot harder and I got so much less neurotic about it and that's when I started to write better jokes because I remember thinking this
00:22:13
isn't a sword from the stone moment this doesn't always have to be some Francis of Assisi pregnant a rock and a beam
00:22:20
hits you in the head just shut up and write 10 jokes it's like Letterman used to say uh that always made me it's parts
00:22:27
of Dave I don't get but I was always endeared what he'd say hey we're entertainers have two funny stories and
00:22:34
get on and tell them yeah about the show he didn't want to know anything yeah two funny stories I think it's nice
00:22:40
that you did that because I think it's interesting that you walk away bombing in quotes in your head you [ __ ] said but someone you know you people don't always laugh out loud or there's people
00:22:51
that go everyone's not laughing I shouldn't laugh but I actually think this guy's pretty good and have someone out of the blue that's influential like
00:22:58
that especially at high school and when he died early and I somebody you know you're on a list with your fellow
00:23:04
graduates and they said someone says passed and he died pretty early and I I must admit as little as I knew him yeah
00:23:11
uh that made me so sad you know it's like a stab you here you hear that and you go oh wow is that weird what's
00:23:17
happening to us I'm 68 car view you my are you a little younger I'm a little younger but not by myself 41.
00:23:25
I mean Heather check the Wikipedia will you change it again um it's so weird or you just start noticing the age on people that have a heart attack anyway at 51 you go what the [ __ ]
00:23:39
so now you're in the vicinity of like oh people are dropping or or you look at a picture and you go oh these two aren't
00:23:45
here anymore and you go ah [ __ ] man this is rough I have a big picture in my office do not I just looked at spudley's
00:23:51
office it's so sweet to see those memories but I look up and see Phil so many times I just missed Jesus weren't we privileged to be with him I had a
00:24:03
flagship stickers we were talking to Bill Hader you know about nerves and I do remember distinctly being terrified
00:24:08
but I'd come on before a sketch in 8h and I'd see Phil and Jan and they'd be in their costumes and Phil be looking at the script and they were calming you know your your
00:24:20
cast mates I call them bandmates it would calm me down to a point we're in this together going back to you you were
00:24:26
just alone right down the pike for like how long were your segments normally update 10 minutes of jokes and you know
00:24:33
there's always a guest yeah there's always a guest there too you know what it is that old Carson lesson about those
00:24:39
are not going to work and you have to not be a sweat act when it doesn't work they don't need every joke to be perfect
00:24:44
that gets a little precious and erotic they want to see if you have any Scaramouche in you when it doesn't go
00:24:50
well you know can you still Zorro a little that's scary the guy who was served I gotta go back to Junior College because I didn't know that one I'm just saying that they want to see some savoir
00:25:04
fair when you eat it that's more important than better than good jokes yeah and Carson was always so brilliant at that I used to watch that and say why
00:25:11
is that so intoxicating and I thought yeah well this joke goes awry the only mistake you can make is to double down or look like an [ __ ] or like you're so bullet ridden you can't take it you
00:25:23
know you [ __ ] up it's definitely a joke that doesn't land and then they see you smile or laugh at the idea that's
00:25:30
all it takes yeah you don't even have to be witty or anything you just have to look it's aware that you just this is
00:25:38
bit stand out with people I don't know why this line always stood out in my brain but I don't know if you did an update but it was just so you and it was
00:25:43
so dry and bizarre Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care and I don't care long pause what the kind hell attitude is that does that did you do that you know
00:25:55
when I started to try to write jokes when I was in a fallow thing as far as uh I used to always think indignation
00:26:03
what am I it was like the fulcrum right oh yeah what am I Arcane reference so yeah when you boil it down too is I got
00:26:10
cut off on the one-on-one what am I the robot made from Death you know whenever I get through that's what I'd write and
00:26:16
when I couldn't even come up with one of those I would just do a rhythm joke and oddly enough you you built that firewall
00:26:22
for me when you used to do Morse Miller or you wouldn't even say a word you'd just go well yeah I mean your attitude
00:26:29
so that's what that joke was that's a really great car what am I gleco I mean you say things where I go I think you
00:26:36
said you'd like Nick you'd say things that weren't even didn't make sense it's brilliant the way
00:26:43
because people would walk away going I didn't get two of those you're like oh I just made those up just because you gotta keep people off kilter a little
00:26:50
bit like God I had almost every reference I always thought the core joke the mothership should be accessible at
00:26:56
all and the next one should be accessible to four-fifths the third one in should be the other Fifth and the
00:27:03
fourth one they shouldn't get that's where the Garbo is and it doesn't even have to make sense but you walk away
00:27:09
again you just give yourself it's just so smart it doesn't have to mean anything I don't know also you've done
00:27:14
how many special which I opened for one maybe black and white or maybe Mr Miller Goes to Washington I was thinking of shooting for 10 but I don't have it in me anymore man I'm like Jimmy Arness in Season 22
00:27:27
at Gunsmoke I'm flinching not James there's a kid in town with a fast gun and I don't have it anymore that's what I did I was so [ __ ] nervous well the way the world is it
00:27:39
would be here you'd be seated on you for your tent just a little room with just like three people but you stand up in
00:27:45
front of that uh that crowd I just don't listen I'm glad I played golf with Charles Barkley once and he it's terrible it's terrible but yeah you know he didn't even have a
00:27:57
hitch in his backswing he had a mini stroke you know we'd have to go away to Warm Springs and warm swim in the pool
00:28:02
with FDR just ice he used to be I remember golfing he'd say I can't believe I embarrassed myself like this and I said Charles just be
00:28:15
glad it wasn't in your uh your free throw stroke it could have been in your rice ball so I always thought uh you know I as long
00:28:26
as it didn't impinge on my rice bowl like the not acting or anything like that I was happy but I can I just insert
00:28:31
this for a second one time Dennis and Kevin and I did a date and we were too afraid to take the private jet there was
00:28:37
weather so we drove for like four hours and my I needed jokes about kids in high
00:28:43
school because my son was working on a standoff and you were Dennis sat there and came up with like 50 jokes just
00:28:49
sitting in the background one of everyone's like um I'm not I'm gonna paraphrase it I don't want to say I'm
00:28:55
going to a privileged high school but I I hung my jersey in my wine Locker you know but it was one after the other you know I probably was clumsier than you listen if you do for yourself
00:29:10
yeah that's okay and you can pull and they've got something and then you Mr Miyagi the 10.
00:29:17
you know that especially I watch you on stage I know they take it up there and get the language right you know and the rhythm's
00:29:23
right yeah you're a great stand-up man you know when I first saw you obviously you were like a such a young kid and
00:29:30
then I watched you over the years and nobody I mean those Ellen things Ellen can be a little quirky but you're so
00:29:37
smooth with that and then you go over to stern and uh and then when I see your stand up periodically I go out look God
00:29:43
Rest his soul Norm but remember you and I and Norm recently oh that was the last time I saw Norm that you for sure yeah I
00:29:50
mean maybe me too because he wouldn't do he wouldn't every during Corona he didn't say it was going on so he didn't
00:29:56
say I can meet in a week and he goes I go all right we'll go to this restaurant outside I go no I mean it's one of my
00:30:03
crumbs there but we did this [ __ ] gig me and Dennis in Oklahoma so you guys played that big giant yeah you know in
00:30:10
Oklahoma right up an hour south of TriStar yeah I think do we take a plane or something yeah just left so so can you imagine us three idiots oh yeah you
00:30:20
guys stupid yeah Norm you I remember you guys talking about that so listen I had a headache Dennis right it's my neck was all [ __ ] up as per usual so but we're
00:30:27
driving over there and Norm goes do you want anything and he's clutching like a falcon he's got like some prescription
00:30:34
bottle I go oh I think I'm right and he goes do you want fentanyl fentanyl I go doesn't isn't that the one I want od's on he goes yeah but you just dose you don't overdose I go okay that kind of
00:30:48
makes sense was he kidding that's that you can't tell Norm was like uh Andy Kaufman if he could have written jokes you know it wasn't all unless I loved Andy but it was a theater pieces
00:31:02
Norm was like that yeah but he had something weird you know the first time um I heard about Norm was I was doing HBO no I had I had a talk show that was syndicated oh
00:31:15
yeah and somebody said that uh there was a new kid from Canada and they had uh glimpsed him at the Improv and I said well he said his name is Norm Macdonald I think it's Eddie Feldman told me this
00:31:26
and I said well tell me what's he like and he said I just remember one joke remember you used to do that great joke about it I feel sorry for the homeless
00:31:32
guy but I really feel sorry for the homeless guy's dog because you know the dog's thinking this is the longest
00:31:39
[ __ ] walk I mean do we go do we go in anywhere because I could do this on my own I
00:31:46
laughed so hard at that joke yeah I say well see if he wants a gig if he's new in town so they call Norman you know how they always say put together a packet and this made me laugh this is
00:31:57
the Midwife joke that makes me laugh and he says Norm says he won't do packets and that word size so it's so funny sounds Grim like you're a Taskmaster when you say I want a packet of jokes he
00:32:10
said but I'll send one joke and you can make a determination she said remember the joke he did about Dahmer where he
00:32:15
essentially reads the UPI wire copy of the Jeffrey Dahmer trial and it's so great I mean it could not be Grimmer it's like uh Hieronymus Bosh sort of and
00:32:27
he disemboweled the young boy and ate the entry of it you know all that stuff it gets to the end of the joke and
00:32:34
Thorne says in his defense Dahmer said he started it uh and uh they they tin foil the window shut like Elvis they both smoked mix
00:32:55
nuts and uh over the head writer would go over and ask him for jokes at a certain time and they bridled at that
00:33:02
and I said listen these guys are rare Avis think of that as a like Orchid Hot House those are two genius as you can ruin the humidity in there so I said I went over to Norm and drink and I said
00:33:13
listen guys I don't I'm not I'm not going to take your best jokes I don't want to know your best jokes I need some
00:33:20
sixes and sevens for this monologue because Norm would write jokes that I'd have to hand back to them they were so brilliant I can't tell you you know I'm
00:33:28
not gonna take this joke this is this will be what something you've been drank too he was a stone killer so um they
00:33:34
said fine fine so at 1 30 it literally is like the food slot in Papillon where the jokes would slide out into the door
00:33:40
and this is out of 12 Joe some of them were so crazy that you thought I'm going to go to hell just for seeing this joke
00:33:46
and then a couple were just per you know I mean they were two Brilliant Minds and
00:33:51
you know how they they love to be left alone Drake had a a couple of I remember when he goes uh I went to a funeral he sounds like Dennis he was kind of doing a little bit a lot of people yeah and he
00:34:03
goes I went to a funeral and I was wearing the same outfit as the deceased how embarrassing but how did I know he'd
00:34:10
be wearing a too drunk to [ __ ] t-shirt yeah I just pulled up on his car and a bumper sticker said help stop bombing in Iran I pulled up I said I can't get my
00:34:22
girlfriend to stop [ __ ] my buddies let me can I handle that before I start ironing out everything that's the Rhythm
00:34:30
you can almost insert anything there I remember sitting one night up in the balcony at The Improv and Jay was
00:34:37
holding Court you know he had like a tweet hat on call you mister yeah and Drake's one of the people there and you know Jay and listen if you have a TV
00:34:54
show you're telling your eight best jokes you don't say jokes for the second show I have to be a second shot you tell the best day then the second one you do
00:35:01
is the nine through 15 you know and it's like 40 minutes of the Socratic method yeah okay boys
00:35:08
I forget what he's got outside of the monster mobile or something that he bought at auction we're driving in a
00:35:13
unicycle down the 405. so Drake's sitting there with a cigarette he looks he goes he thinks Jay but I have a father
00:35:25
that's 45 minutes straight and then finally well Jay I love listening to that stuff I'm not making fun of Jay but you know he always had a tutorial Jay was right about a lot of stuff yeah
00:35:36
never stop you don't stop when we first moved to L.A you talk about moving to New York State when I first moved to LA
00:35:43
from Pittsburgh I was so scared and freaked out it's such a you at least had the bear or any new California life but
00:35:49
I came on from the Berg and it was like Christ I was on another planet but thank God Jay had more of a proletariat
00:35:56
underpinning and he would have the same guys up Seinfeld Brogan Larry Miller uh Mar once in a while we'd meet up at Jay's house oh yeah Hassel driving it was called and uh come on over you'd go
00:36:08
in and Jay would hold court at night he always had pizza and if you did a shitty TV shot somewhere I don't give a [ __ ] if
00:36:14
it was like a.m Warsaw Jay had a copy of it he saw it yeah crane technology you know that formatting yeah there wasn't even streaming then but he would have
00:36:26
he'd load up a 3 8 inch Corner hey hey look at Dennis is on Madam's place this week hi jinxed hey good job on Mike and
00:36:39
Maddie you know it's a while James Bond TV's all over and he'd watch all the shows yeah I knew what was going on he would download all your worst stuff not your worst what happened here
00:36:51
and then there'd be banging from upstairs on my house and I just need someone to check it out are you married oh never mind
00:37:09
you did the funniest and by the way that documentary car blew me out your commitment to I was so proud of you
00:37:15
which one was the brilliant show that they did with schmeichel and Colbert and uh but there's a great documentary about
00:37:22
it you can see how Dana is of it and listen that's a bad play by Brad God bless Brad's soul but you don't put Dana on with that not Crew That's A Wrecking Crew that's like the obsession guys Hal
00:37:36
Blaine and all that in that studio God bless Tim Allen I mean he was a huge but there could not be more chalk and cheese as the British say no once it was on Prime Time following with Tim Allen
00:37:49
my favorite sketches you did uh didn't you do The Incredible Journey with Jay the dog and the cat and the dog who go cross country yeah some kind of weird movie
00:38:02
it's a it's a dog you have any Journey or something yeah but it's a kids movie am I confusingness with Stiller or is
00:38:10
this I don't think I did I did and Smiggle did it was you on the side of the road like that I don't think it was me okay I did Jay and Smiggle did
00:38:21
Quentin Tarantino and we got so excited and bothered dogs somebody did a great thing called The Incredible Journey which is a Disney movie when they're young it's two dogs
00:38:35
and a cat dropped in a vacation spot and they have to get back across and they all make it over to them and but
00:38:42
somebody played Jay and this is what I always think of Jay he was always closing he was a stone killer when he
00:38:48
was in the work mode he never thought about anything else remember he played good cop bad cop with Helen kushnick
00:38:53
like you know I remember where I had a band on my show one night a talk show called yusu yindi they were an
00:39:00
aborigining log bed they're standing there and you know like uh skirts made out of that you know yes that sort of stuff no shirts on and
00:39:12
they're hitting big logs on little logs this is what I'm booking at this point because I you know I'm like third in line on the talk show thing
00:39:18
so the youth Unity manager comes up to me and says hey we got a call from The Tonight Show they said we weren't
00:39:24
allowed to do it if we did your show I'm talking to a guy in a loincloth Jay and
00:39:29
the manager [ __ ] are you doing you're kidding me I've gotten none of the way I'm not trying for Tom Cruise I've got
00:39:35
the youth Hindi you guys told me that you're bracing them there's a dog and the dog goes I gotta get across that Highway uh my Master's across that Highway they've gone home
00:39:53
from vacation I love my master and I love my misters and then they show the cat and the cats uh I gotta get across
00:39:59
that highway I need food I know there's food over there because Master mistress always provide sustenance and then the
00:40:05
third creature is no longer a dog it's Leno and he's got that shitty crinkle cut tie on and a stand-up coat and he's
00:40:11
like oh this season and we could bump Trisha Yearwood and we could I'm choosing you it was all about The Tonight Show the other two were thinking
00:40:22
about getting back yeah I can come in for the Christmas yeah yeah [Music] do you want to talk about SNL a little more people yeah those six years did you
00:40:42
was there a point where you felt you turned the corner I mean I remember one time there was Lauren had Whitney kind of try
00:40:49
to maybe coach you a little bit or something there was a blip there and then after that you seemed like you just
00:40:55
got coming you know what I gotta say this Lauren changed my life he's like Henry Higgins you know oh yeah
00:41:00
yeah I look back and I don't even know if Lauren lods it over you as much as you give him to you know what I mean it's such a owen omnipotent
00:41:12
power in here you mean it's like in your head you want to go Lauren doesn't really think about you yeah every day you're
00:41:18
like I wonder if Lauren thinks this I wonder if he's like just on a treadmill at home it's like Paul McCartney said
00:41:23
about the Beatles music he goes you listen to Winston Churchill still you know wobbly and he he listens to the Beatles we get shiny and brighter all
00:41:29
the time and it's like Lauren the further you get away from the show the more you appreciate having to handle the
00:41:35
network the egos the the sensibility so yeah he gets a lot when I stop worrying as much about him because I knew I was
00:41:41
making him laugh yeah oh yeah I got a little better at it but I do remember coming out of the box and having a bit
00:41:47
of a I had this happen to it's one of the gift stand-ups give me I was always such
00:41:52
a neurotic kid it's always so I I wasn't self-loathing all the time but I had a quick switch to it if anything went wrong if I shot like a 61 and nine holes of golf I'd go oh you're such a you [ __ ]
00:42:08
everything you know I had that thing and uh I got over that with uh with Lauren I
00:42:14
didn't turn on myself as much I remember thinking you better get on your own side here and it happened to me on Letterman
00:42:19
one night where I was standing back there you remember how scared I was so scared standing there yeah
00:42:27
before you go on yeah he's so cool yeah you know and you're saying they do this a lot somebody must be doing it right and right before I went out and I had all day long been you know they put you
00:42:39
up with that uh Hotel on Madison right there where all the watches were on the Longines building or whatever and get up I'd walk on Madison go back back to my room try to lay down while I was so yeah
00:42:51
the day of the show it's like a nice day and I remember thinking right before I went on I thought ah Christ you've
00:42:57
worked so long and so hard and you've dialed these jokes in and I you know there was the hectoring voice you're not going to do this well you're not going to do it and I just said you it was like
00:43:08
a big moment in my life all that therapy thing I said shut the [ __ ] up right now
00:43:13
I you can you can start hectoring me again around eight minutes but I gotta go lay waste to this or my life is gonna be all your neurosis and I'm not even gonna have scored yeah and I put it
00:43:25
aside it was a pretty powerful thing and I got to that point and I said now where you just thought Christ I I can't go
00:43:31
into this every week thinking it's the end of the world if you know it well I I always felt like I had to kill like because I auditioned for SNL twice it
00:43:38
didn't go well I followed Kennison so when I got on the show I went on Letterman or anything I could say maybe
00:43:43
I was pushing too much or so theatrical or whatever but I felt like if I didn't kill there's no more job like I'm out
00:43:49
and I felt that way all the way through SNL just had to get the best you're the best performer that's ever been on there
00:43:55
and listen is it recording no no I mean there's some Geniuses on there but your mixture of a proletariat ethic your ear and Chrysler world-class sense you know
00:44:06
Carvey has that ear and for rhythms it's amazing and then you mix in affecting great jokes and then you mix in the fact
00:44:12
that he's dog and I remember used to come up with the old man character which is sweet but yeah you know it's not it's
00:44:19
not sketched out all that much it's about the rest yeah and I used to hit you on the leg right before he went on
00:44:25
and I'd say this is gonna so [ __ ] die and you watch this David wrote a joke for me once for that oh I did yeah yeah I don't like these
00:44:44
latex condoms in my day you had a rabbit skin you tied around your young this I'll do this one because I like this one um
00:45:04
so I forgot it wait a minute hey I here's the element flame retardants sleepwear yeah yeah but something about
00:45:16
I'm gonna bet smoke you go to bed smoking wake up golfed in flames and that's the way it was you liked it look
00:45:22
at me I'm on fire I'm burning corpse and I love it I love it it's so hard to go back yeah I used to wrench that shammy and I would just sit there and Marvel at that and think this [ __ ] you're
00:45:34
gonna have to carry him out there because he's gonna go till that moment yeah I tried too hard I don't know
00:45:40
that's the show that works when I saw you against Carmen basilio at 148 in the garden you were beautiful now is that a real boxer I think
00:45:53
weeded a gig in Palm Springs this is probably as an SNL we drove all out there and uh we had to stay tonight we
00:46:00
had to do a gig in standard should we Golf and Dennis gets mad right away because he's not not playing perfectly
00:46:06
so I go I go up I go hey uh I get up I go Hey where's the green he goes spuddly you don't have to worry about the Green from the 12 [ __ ] shots just hit it
00:46:21
and so I said it to my friends all the time when they asked him with a green is steal Denny's jokes Danny you uh you uh
00:46:29
you worked at Point parks recreation room you you ran the air hockey do you remember the knife
00:46:43
Beauty and then gets off because he knows how insignificant memories what happened if uh I would do a joke
00:46:54
about Impressions where I'd go what happened to Ben gazzara all right worked at a TCBY yeah I think it would go it
00:47:03
goes something something like this no I'm not gonna [ __ ] do that all right I just want to get right up to the precipice and pip right up to the rest of his pivot and jate back to coolsville
00:47:16
then that joke caught on the indifference and what you just did there is so uh funny because the fact is folks
00:47:23
I was the commissioner of an air hockey league and Spade lays that down and then moves away because he knows how
00:47:28
uninterested I just like the noise of air hockey he's got a little Michael Winslow in him David he does McDonald's sound effects the
00:47:44
oh I'm sorry wait do the little quiet bird wow what's what's the British guy does
00:47:53
have you seen that Rob uh he does the oh boy the boys it's just two have you ever
00:47:59
seen that um you gotta watch it on YouTube I'll be anybody but Michael Winslow so give me that I just meant
00:48:06
sound effects remember Jimmy Allen used to work with a cat in a uh Jimmy Allen and he had a Ken Severa they used to do
00:48:13
Impressions and then Ken Savannah broke up and went back into the business world and Jimmy Allen got Alex uh he was a a
00:48:22
Mexican kid he was blind and Jimmy was so sweet with him he'd lead them up on stage and they did that brilliant bit where they would go between train cars
00:48:29
on the way to the next gig it would be tricky it reminds me of Windsor then they'd open the door to go between
00:48:35
the train thing and you remember they used to do that perfect volume up and then you'd hear the door slide then
00:48:42
go back in now I know it's not simplistic folks but this thing was so real if you shut your eyes you just said
00:48:48
I can't is amazing any of those noises are really just texture in a bit to make them you throw you in there to make yourself yeah yeah I just do it and I don't even know it have some all my
00:48:59
friends at home used to do it when they tell stories and then it just turned into it would just naturally be in a bit
00:49:05
I like I do it yeah but I came in late it's a chops of your two sons or do they have different shops or what what tell me about Tom and Dex Tom is sort of the
00:49:18
he's a Sci-Fi fanatic we're doing this scripted podcast he's the idea guy and uh I've heard a couple they're broken yeah but you told me you're extrapolating them out right they were short but you're gonna make them yeah
00:49:30
yeah we're really into it I didn't realize it's like making the White Album it's like showing Apocalypse Now to a
00:49:35
blind man yeah there's a lot of helicopters they're really scary they're coming in low you know you gotta explain
00:49:40
yeah so we had to learn the process we started out and we had to redo it and redo it and now we I think we have a
00:49:46
rhythm on it so so Tom's ideas and decks as well Dex does a lot of voices and writes you know people who are listening
00:49:55
now fans of Comedy sometimes writing is just an idea in the room in the moment it's not all just out of typewriter by yourself yeah he's like yeah we should uh maybe you should go into the game or
00:50:06
something like that there's some little thing of uh we have that Mario Brothers one maybe you should go into the game with his dad it's like oh that's a
00:50:12
brilliant idea right then you run with it yeah but it's it's just a blast he has two sons it's fun working with yours
00:50:18
I know when you just did the uh uh fans of comedy thing it's such a robin lelt the way he did that and it reminds me how much I miss our friend Rob and house uh oh yeah and I think you were you saw
00:50:32
him closest to the end then you carved in real County where I when I was up there Mark pittard was a very good
00:50:38
friend too he's a great comic friend of mine but Robin was there a lot I really got close to him and we would go to that
00:50:44
little theater up there the Throckmorton theater on Tuesday nights in Marin County it'd be packed one of the best theaters in the country and he would
00:50:51
come in and um I really didn't understand him until then you know how he called everyone
00:50:56
boss and he was so shy and differential I'd be doing a set and he'd be off to the side going like this he was so sweet
00:51:03
and so vulnerable all and yet so such a powerful performer that you it's hard to
00:51:10
reconcile those two things but we finally hung out I think I was just in awe yeah for many years but you finally
00:51:15
finally just we hung out and talked about life and stuff and then he went down to LA to do that half hour sitcom
00:51:23
right and that was the last time yeah I saw him at the other one night was the other the one with the long thin window along the way yeah that was in San Francisco where I met my wife the other Cafe yeah
00:51:34
the other one night when he went up on stage and uh the mystery science 3000 everybody walking by the window yes and you would refer people in this giant picture window you have certain nights
00:51:45
in comedy Kennison around 2 30 in the morning one night at The Comedy Store just waiting into some tourists who
00:51:52
thought it was Dr Feelgood and then he went Anton laveyard Springs but Robin that night uh people would
00:52:00
come at a predictable Cadence almost that he would annotate them and is he's absolutely brilliant yeah one night outside that place I'd done a set and he stopped me and it was Misty with a lamp
00:52:11
post there's the other and this was this was before I he went to LA like in you know before he blew away he said Dana Dana and he said that he always had this idea in his head that I had
00:52:23
came up with talking about your dick like oh my Mr Happy referred it but I never did and at your wedding he
00:52:30
mentioned that to me I think people said that maybe you came up with Mr Happy never did so he brought it up again
00:52:36
sounds good he brought it up again oh I feel like you know maybe I took Miss happy I said Robin I try to take it a
00:52:41
whole act I tried to become you yeah that's not the way this is supposed to go one time I don't have stories like you guys but I was just obviously did
00:52:52
you know Robin a little bit but I met him to bobcat and then uh again friendly but I didn't know him well at all so
00:52:58
here I am auditioning before I ever met him at the Improv on Melrose and I have a showcase so you know you got to go up and do like seven minutes so I'm waiting and it's packed and I go you're next and
00:53:09
then they go we just gave him the light and then I'm waiting right here behind me and I go it's like Predator I go oh
00:53:15
no and he's watching and I go oh my God it's a [ __ ] Robin Williams and then he goes you want to go up next Chris okay and I go no no no but there's
00:53:22
nothing you can do it's too big course and even I'm like [ __ ] it go and then he
00:53:27
went on and did maybe an hour and then I'm trying to fight my way to the crowd because everyone's leaving the people
00:53:33
there to see me are like oh everyone forgot like you forgot your carry-on bag and you have to go back down
00:53:40
pushing you out of the way excuse me I gotta get back to 23 DM yeah 3D dinner I'm like wait the people from Star Search are leaving you know so sweet man though very sweet really
00:53:54
vulnerable person but what a [ __ ] genius yeah at our crap but I do when I do these talks with David in this
00:54:01
podcast I think of people uh Like Us in high school listening to this and it is kind of an interesting aspect to it because when I was watching I don't know about you guys I'd watch people on TV as
00:54:13
a kid and they would never really say how they got into this and then I then I was on Ed Sullivan but I wanted to know
00:54:19
how the [ __ ] do you get into show businesses I sold some jokes to a kid named Joe
00:54:25
Bolster do you remember George Jones comedian he was in town working at the Pittsburgh comedy club and Christ I was
00:54:32
living in an Earthen floor basement I was like a step away from being you know Hannibal lecter's lighting stand and it was so great in my life I cracked I just had an apartment with
00:54:45
an Earthen floor that I like yeah was like 40 bucks a month it was so broke that I delayed bad Indian rugs on top of it
00:54:57
I go to the comedy club and I have some jokes and Joe Bolster buys three or four of them for 25 bucks pop and then I I'm
00:55:03
laying there watching on this TV that I have it's so small it's this is in the era of cables just come in but I'm
00:55:10
watching it on rabbit ear Stone so broken he does one of the jokes wow on The Tonight Show oh and Carson laughs
00:55:17
you know it's Carson with an ascot on that's how long ago it is you know he's sitting there and he hits the table and
00:55:24
I remember thinking I ca you know what I'm not a natural Entertainer but I've got to become the
00:55:29
conduit for this or I'm going to [ __ ] go crazy how old were you at this point 20
00:55:35
24. and he told it and that's changed it for me I then went out and started telling them my own because I thought I'm not this is hard jumping up here at a strip club or a jazz club and telling
00:55:46
jokes it's not as hard as laying there yeah an apartment with an earth in Florida an Indian rug yeah and watching somebody else make Johnny Carson laugh with something you thought yeah you
00:55:57
better get it together bro it also shows you're in the vicinity you're like that just right there you go wait I did one and it's on TV and and I'm close enough
00:56:05
to get it so I'm not that far off yeah it was it was a consider at the net too is an easy one just uh and Joe had just
00:56:13
moved on from New York Carson said how do you like La is it good could I get part-time job during the day I drive around during rush hour on my car and
00:56:19
report on helicopter traffic you know just inverting but when I first moved to L.A it was like all those uh it was like
00:56:24
Ray Liotta making spaghetti all those helicopters in the sky he thought this is so crazy
00:56:31
it caught the Carson you know that's finally a great joke funny funny man that is good stuff anyway
00:56:43
one of my favorite things I've ever done you I remember when we were at uh comedy
00:56:49
magic club like in 1981 yeah still at the point of not knowing is this going to be our life is this going to be our
00:56:55
career and I remember meeting I don't know if we already worked but I didn't know you that well but you kind of said to me I don't have any gigs I got no
00:57:01
gigs I remember that really stood out like you were scared I was a little shy yeah yeah and I couldn't be forced
00:57:07
myself on people but I didn't have any gigs you were you were talking about you had no work you mean you can't send that
00:57:14
tape to the denunzio brothers no when I was I think when I was running 28 years old I made Seven Grand for the year and I remember thinking uh I better hang
00:57:24
in here because I'm behind everybody now and then shortly after that it happened thank God for guys like Mike Lacy who
00:57:31
would give you a burger we're talking about the Hermosa Beach comedy magic yeah I don't know Mike's still Affiliated but if you're in California
00:57:37
yeah it was a Showplace to God it was a beacon in the night for lost comedians because we used to all go down there sit
00:57:44
in that bathroom Mike would feed you and he was the sweetest guy in the world and then he'd had animatronic dolls you know
00:57:51
he'd say uh hey I gave my uh Eddie Bracken doll a new belt loop you know and you did you go he had comedian puppets and stuff it was
00:58:01
comedy magic do you remember following it I mean they always have a magician following a magician but then you'd go
00:58:07
out sometimes he had that little Marquee I go down with Jimmy Alec do you remember the great Jimmy and uh I'm the
00:58:15
I'm the opener and Jimmy's the headliner this is when I first get to L.A yeah and the middle Act
00:58:21
you remember Jimmy had the bad leg for childhood polio the middle ax Marty polio
00:58:27
if we pull up to the markets Jimmy Alec polio that's his name okay he said thank you very much
00:58:42
the disease that took my leggings yeah the guy with the speech impediment what's your opener Jimmy Tourette's is
00:58:48
going to be on before you okay Marty folio [Music] I can't let Dennis go without thanking him for being in Joe Dirt God Spade God
00:59:02
it gives me cachet with her kids I can't tell you how many people I don't know how that didn't turn into a something else bait I know you did too but it's
00:59:10
like a Wayne's World or uh I have people come up to me that's their favorite movie at all boggles my mind not the boggles my mind but I didn't know Joe
00:59:22
Dirt until I did the movie and then all of a sudden I had this whole new audience people just love them yeah that
00:59:28
lucked out I thought of the name Joe Dirt Joe Dirt it was nothing and uh you're good you're really good it
00:59:36
was good it was called Shame for a while Dennis I want to tell you first of all you did a great job I'm gonna talk to you Dan in a second
00:59:42
there's no way you can do better and hey Fred You're Gonna Be Our Guest one of these days but we did it was called Shane because I thought that was a funny like names like that guy and
00:59:53
then I said what if it's just Joe Dirt and uh it's very potent which I didn't I didn't love but then it kind of caught
00:59:59
in there and it was sort of a crystal match guy at the beginning then we kind of made it a little nicer and that was a
01:00:04
good move that was uh that was Ted lasso way before yeah it's a sweet guy like a sweet guy we really Good Vibration and
01:00:10
it was first time I wasn't super sarcastic and all it and got it wasn't making fun of the South it was sort of
01:00:16
one guy was really like a genuine authentic person and uh Kid Rock was great you were great Dennis and I I
01:00:22
remember I had script pages on my lap because I think we had Dennis for one day and he was just making up joke after joke it's just [ __ ] spinning gold
01:00:28
obviously what are you doing yeah I would just try and look down look up say my lines look down look up because
01:00:41
it was too hard we were moving too quickly you know we had like 12 pages of dialogue I had to keep going yeah we
01:00:46
knocked it out then that was a productive day yeah and then I think Dennis got out of lunch or something because it was like we got it all and we
01:00:53
didn't know how hard it would be but he was nailing it all and then he would just Riff on each one and go I'll give you three for this and then it was like
01:00:59
three jokes you're like [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah I lost 10 pounds after I saw Joe Dirt 2. he was nice enough to have me in
01:01:06
for like a perfect note on Joe Dirt too yeah I'm sitting there in like uh it's before untuck it so I've got a regular length shirt that's hanging out down
01:01:16
you know like a moo moo I look like Alan Carr I've got this I could not I can't watch that movie without seeing how fat I was at the beginning of that I know so right after that I I appreciate it I'm
01:01:30
not I'm not exactly uh Frank gorshin in the Riddler costume now but I'm at least lost a few like Donnie Sutherland sure
01:01:37
enough Timmy my first I did a movie once with Michael Douglas and Donald Sutherland and yeah
01:01:44
it was called um disclosure it was about sexual Assurance that's a great movie and I
01:01:50
remember seeing for the first time how the other half lived um because as soon as they'd yell cut
01:02:00
was so funny he was like a hippie guy a very cool French hippie sort of French Canadian and they they would go down a pair of steps there was a golf cart there we'd be in the golf cart they'd
01:02:13
blow out through the doors we were out and Warner Brothers Studio would go down Mike had this trailer that was like the
01:02:19
Taj Mahal and he had a he'd call ahead and what your drink was I love it anyway I was at the door with our drinks and we'd watch the NBA championships yeah but I just remember thinking it was the
01:02:32
he and Donna were so funny together and you realize that guys like us uh quite frankly I'm from Pittsburgh spudley Arizona young guy from Arizona card from up in the bay you were telling me
01:02:44
stories about room service and for Michaels you know we were one of the guys who were privy to this I remember
01:02:50
that first moment you're letting you called me one night McCartney were out in the Hamptons and I just there's that
01:02:56
mind blow [Music] SNL at that point I was just hanging out with Paul McCartney for Five Nights with Linda but having a famous person the first time someone a host would come in and know you
01:03:13
you know like because you're always a variety is performing and then someone goes oh yeah maybe we can do something together and I'm like like they know
01:03:19
something and they like you know King came to the show and said you want it we should try to do something together oh for okay just out of the blue just I
01:03:27
don't that's a big part of SNL is yeah Lauren almost as much as being funny and not being a sweat act and not laughing
01:03:33
at your own jokes he does not want you to be uh overly supplicating with people no you know what I mean you remember those Monday night things sometimes you'd sit there with somebody relief if it was your hero and you had he didn't
01:03:45
want you gushy about it did you have people you know like throughout your tenure in SNL in your career like like
01:03:51
somebody famous that was older that gave you Kudos or came up to the restaurant Sammy Khan the great Lyricist he came up to you one night said kid can you
01:04:01
imagine that semi-con you know fly with me yeah you know I was a nerd kid and I always dug that night what you're how famous were you when he you got the message I did a roast for fire
01:04:14
I remember I was I went on like 15th out of 17th uh people you know the fires it was for Chevy not the train wreck one later down the road this is when Chevy was front running it
01:04:26
works better when the guy's in a power position you know because the jokes and you also know him a little bit Yeah
01:04:32
chubby later instead of still Chevy yeah yeah he's to me hugely funny but it wasn't quite the success story so the jokes landed and stuck a little more and it's harder to watch but I remember I
01:04:43
went up and I said nice to be here in the Friars I always think of Milton burrow uh you know miltonborough's dick
01:04:49
is so big that I I'd have to think he stole that too and because he was famous so it's a good joke but I'm like nobody knows me he's he's Yoda there yeah how
01:05:01
the [ __ ] is this a great joke I eat it I remember Paul Newman's on the dance I looked down and Paul Newman who was very
01:05:08
cool but he has to avert my gaze because it's so bad like what's going on and I come off uh
01:05:14
after it I'm just this goes back to Sammy I come off and man I am because nobody has felt worse at a Friar's roast
01:05:22
until Whoopi convinced Ted Danson to get out of the Hanson cabin blackface at noon on 7th Avenue you know that I'm
01:05:28
sure he can still think of that sit up in the middle of the night and go what the [ __ ] was I doing but Sammy is that a
01:05:37
samica these Santa Cutters [ __ ] Milton bro oh I love it he was so just the fact that I was commiserating uh dissuaging my my wounds
01:05:51
with Sammy caught made me laugh it's an amazing existence being in Show Business If you get lucky like we do good lord
01:05:56
well you know I love you boys thank you my dearest friends how long we've been together about 30 years
01:06:02
I've met you and like a little shorter with his brother who did you run with you used to run in that alley remember
01:06:08
uh Rob was oh I met Rob's daughter she never has a daughter who's a singer yeah yeah she's she's London's child yeah yeah as I met you and yeah
01:06:20
less Adam but remember we had we had Apartments out in the valley so yeah the studio city I had like a swinging apartment and I remember I had I bought an old front car seat for my couch and
01:06:34
that's how that that's how groshai was yeah wow I remember buying it at an art gallery that was my couch was an old
01:06:41
daughter from a Dodge Valiant I thought it was cool remember bringing women home you see a roadrunner Cloud heading off
01:06:46
into the distance what the [ __ ] doctor theme and uh we all lived out there and
01:06:52
I would run into the house staff he wants on on cold water you had a huge house on sticks you know it made me
01:06:58
scared because you have sticks not good seismic it was hanging off I remember my saddest moment in L.A I was in that
01:07:05
place back that it wasn't but it wasn't that much but for me it was a lot of money and I remember Phil took a step up
01:07:12
remember Phil went north of a million not in Encino and we were all like our minds
01:07:17
but I've got leaks I got the wizard nobody's building the code in L.A it rains once and all of a sudden you're you know it's The Parting of the Red Sea and I ordered I get these roof guys to
01:07:28
fix it this is my Grimace moment in L.A I come home I walk in the door it's just
01:07:33
pouring through the water I go up into guys just stunned out of their gourd sitting in the rain on the roof with a big spliff looking hey Mr home early
01:07:47
we're just gonna lay down sometime babe [Laughter] it happens L.A when you first get money you don't know what the hell to do I
01:07:58
know by the way beautiful path beautiful yeah we're doing this in the house stuff for the second time the yard work is
01:08:04
impeccable and the place is just yeah the nines man I'm happy for you Spade was on so smart and then we'll rap I'm sorry but I don't know what Spades took
01:08:14
that show I said he's the smartest cat because everybody takes the thing where they're the center
01:08:20
you're the first guy they take out yeah and you know they go it's not looking so now and I wish that Spade was so funny
01:08:27
because George Siegel and Laura said yeah she's hot off right yeah and George is just a player
01:08:35
yeah they Center post it and spudily nibbling around to free Wendy Malik she was uh she's kind of sexy yeah
01:08:47
and specially comes nibbling in hey we got that photo shoot I'm gonna cast the models he's like Batista heads back to
01:08:55
the mountains with some Mead and some meat it's hard to memorize lines you just come in and they said if I do my own show I'm just gonna have to get a spade guy to come in I'll carry all the lines
01:09:05
and then someone comes and scores and leaves yeah he's smart yeah you scored them I
01:09:11
got lucky you know all right thanks Dennis all right beautiful peace out hey what's up flies what's up please what's up people that listen we want to hear from you and your dumb questions
01:09:22
questions ask us anything anything you want you can email us at fly on the wall at cadence13.com here's a spade okay I'll just introduce
01:09:34
some Ryan Bach dear David and Dana I'm sorry for only coming up with a spade Centric question okay I'm going on a personal vacation okay I'll take over okay I'll relax this is the longest
01:09:46
question it's something I've been dying to know for over a decade no interviewer has ever asked him to my knowledge can
01:09:52
you please tell us everything about emperor's new group experience sure that's a separate podcast how did it
01:09:59
come to you how do they decide it should be a llama do you realize it's the by far the
01:10:04
funniest cartoon made in the 21st century and people quote it adore you both oh you're back in uh and uh Happy this podcast came to life cheers well Ryan a female run a female
01:10:18
right okay switch hitter name like Dana okay I would do what did the llama sound like I mean
01:10:24
no I don't know what he's saying hello I'm an Obama I pooped my llama pants that was this
01:10:31
guy no wonder they made 300 million here's how it was you know Owen Wilson how's it going
01:10:38
yeah you know we could go to Argentina and like go surfing you know tomorrow if you want it started out Me Owen and Carla Gugino oh yeah Prince and the
01:10:50
Pauper she was the queen I was Prince or whatever and uh she's a princess I was gonna marry her I guess and Owen was a peasant and we were gonna switch places that's
01:11:01
just her basic story right so we did that for a year and a half and we did and they said back then Disney it was an honor so I didn't get that much money it was an honor to be in it and then Shrek
01:11:12
comes along and it's you get paid less than less of an honor yeah so I said oh I was the last of the
01:11:19
honors and I did it and I was so I was doing just shoot me and I go over and do my voice at Disney and I go this is fun
01:11:26
but after a year I'm like I'm over so they would show you like stick figures and
01:11:31
animatics and then they showed it to Michael Eisner as The Story Goes and I could be lying but this is what I heard Disney guy yeah he was the head of
01:11:38
Disney he watches it and he doesn't love it and he says uh scrap it what else can
01:11:44
you do and he goes I liked not not really spayed but I just like the prince's attitude of being like sort
01:11:50
of snarky what could he do and they go what if he turns into a llama and he goes yeah something like
01:11:56
that how do I get that job it's unbelievable and he flipped it they came up with a new story another year and a half sting does the music they throw away all his old songs he gets mad
01:12:07
there's a documentary about that really so this is a very interesting yeah Trudy
01:12:13
did a documentary so I finished it off I was being crabby at the end because I didn't really know where the story was
01:12:18
going so we're just making up stuff and when I saw the premiere I never met Patrick Warburton who was Kronk who was
01:12:25
great or things was it was it great Sting's music was Unreal he got nominated for an Oscar and and then it was so funny at the premiere I go am I
01:12:36
out of my mind or is this [ __ ] hilarious they did a great job and you know with cartoons I did the voice fine
01:12:41
but they make everything funny around you Dana you've done it you did life of pets was it I did the secret life of
01:12:46
pets the first one did really well and then the second one not so well so but we still we have a ride do you have a ride with your your I mean I think there were Universal there's some yeah there's
01:12:57
some drawings big giant ride but they say more people will see the ride and go on the ride than ever see any movie I
01:13:03
have a ride it's at Universal as you come into the thing you're going down the tunnel my dog is introducing it
01:13:08
you're gonna love this ride and you know I get a little taste of the action you know little checks keep coming in but
01:13:15
yours is good too couldn't you just give it a ferris wheel or something I'll check out the secret
01:13:21
life of farts or whatever it's called anyway we're broadcasting from David's beautiful house so I can make fun of The Emperor's New Groove didn't pay for it but it was I did it and then I was so
01:13:33
happy I did it because I really liked it and I and I I got good reviews for the only time of my life and and then it
01:13:41
went on and on for Disney so I love it and I appreciate all the people that like it out there and I was lucky to be
01:13:47
in it animated our podcast you know what and you were and you were a fly what voice would you use for the fly me
01:13:59
it doesn't matter what it doesn't matter I'm a robot fly now I played buzz and scuzz as horse flies in a show called Racing Stripes Steve Harvey and I were flies horse flies I would do I would do
01:14:14
this voice and no one would know who it was I would be able to fly I'd be a fly talking like Kevin Grant but no the kids
01:14:20
would know it just be I'm a very sophisticated lie this is how I am foreign [Music]
01:14:33
the wall has been a presentation of cadence 13. please listen then rate review and follow all episodes executive
01:14:41
produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Chris Corcoran of cadence 13 and Charlie feinen of brilstein entertainment
01:14:47
production and Engineering led by Greg Holtzman Richard cook Serena Regan and Chris Basil of cadence 13.